#yeah getting dragged in by 2021 was the best choice even if “fuck knows what we’re getting” is up in the air still

[no1ryomafan]

Sometimes I wish I was into getter sooner because the curse of “being in a small fandom of a series that’s been around for decades” is there was always fans before you even if the difference is only by a couple years yet those people do eventually stop talking about it. Not leaving the fandom persay but they got different interests so they don’t feel inclined to stick to this one thing, they’d still talk about it if someone brought it up to them it’s just something that isn’t on their radar a lot until something new comes out. Which is why so many people came back when arc aired but either choose to stay or just left after it died down. I missed out on a lot even if it’s only because I’m younger and a lot of earlier fandom days would’ve been bound to have some doom posting about the mangas ending-there’s still people arguing arc anime didn’t technically “resolve it” bc some people are that salty how it turned out but I don’t wanna imagine how it was prior-and it sucks I’ll never get to know some of these people-

But I also not only realized I still have more than enough getter friends as is to make up for that, if I was exposed to this series in my early teens I think the results for how I would’ve turned out as a person would’ve been far more worse so it’s probably good it didn’t happen💀

[dreamesamu]

Accidental accept

featuring. oikawa, kuroo, sakusa.

contains: pure angst, arguments, cursing.

synopsis: he accidentally accept to break up with you after a while let the anger get the best of him.

oikawa tooru; the argument was supposed to be quick and smooth if he doesn't act so disgusted about it, each scoff, eye-rolls and the mocking tone from the beginning of this pissed you worse. "if you don't even give a fuck about me, why are we still dating then?" your voice rang across the room as loud as the reply you gain from him, "that line supposed to be mine." oikawa ignoring his doubt about what he has said could affect you. and it does. that is when he flinches from his dreamy sleep due to the loud thud come from your shared room. it's you, pulling out your suitcase, aggressively try your best to avoid him and approach the door. he becomes alarmed and dashes through the corridor. he could feel the twinge in his heart, refuses to let go of your wrist. "no, I didn't mean-" "yeah I know, but I've made my decision, we can't look further to the future if we're not patient enough to listen to each other" oikawa didn't expect that was the final farewell of your love.

kuroo tetsuro; it was an old agreement you both made for the relationship. kuroo just do his best to avoid the risky conflict of dragging you both to an argument. well, you let that happened. "where were you? I told you to text me if you come home this late." your voice seems calm, but the action between them acts otherwise, "I was busy, not like you being a worried, lazy, judgement ass just makes me regret stepping into this house." you scoff at his sarcasm statement. the distance between him and the bedroom door gradually closer, ended the argument with a slam, so as your relationship. the text flashes up on his phone. 'as you wish, I'll not be staying home tonight, tomorrow I'll get my things.' and his body weakened, breath hitches at your message, open the door in panic which he meets with a bland dark living room, you left. kuroo drop his weight on the couch, hands running in his raven locks so irritated. that night, he fell asleep on the couch, losing you was a nightmare that he needs to stay aware of with the most fragile chance left.

sakusa kiyoomi; argue with the silence is familiar for you on some occasions. "stop ignoring me like I am some germs, even if so I'm still existing." it was the third time you talked with the silence, he was still there, but acting so unbothered that broke your heart. you've tried saying sorry multiple times but his nonchalant unconcern just pricked your ego and push you to the limit. embarrassed being left monologue like an autism patient, you finally shook your head, eyes welled with tears. "forget it, I'm just no longer existing in your world," he refused to understand the reality, exactly what you meant. he pretended it was a joke, that you're just overreacting like the other times, that you'll be back after a night out at your friend's. and then he woke up in a soring position on the bed that missing the warmth of yours, he admitted that he had made the worst choice for letting you go, his hope gradually became less, the first tear in a while ran through his cheeks. he still loves you, so much.

ouch but reblogs are appreciated ♡

© 2021 dreamesamu

[nevermindirah]

I hope Simone Biles gets to curl up in the fluffiest blanket and hear the funniest jokes from her very favorite people today.

She's 24 years old — she's an adult, and damn did it show today when she was put in the position of announcing to the world that mental illness symptoms caused her to withdraw from an Olympic event. But fuck, 24 is so young. The idea of being forced to disclose what are probably very severe mental illness symptoms to a global audience while those symptoms are happening, my heart just breaks for her.

The media talks about Simone Biles like she's a superhuman. And hell yes, she's the most exceptional gymnast in history! Rave about her all day long! But she is a goddamn human being. I'd forgotten that Larry Nasser abused her, because the media attention is so laser-focused on her historic talent. The media didn't let me forget that asshole abused Aly Raisman.

I just, the human mind was not built for the intense scrutiny this young woman is facing. And so many of our institutions were built specifically to extract money from the dehumanization of Black women. I just really, really hope all the people who love her are holding and protecting her.

Simone Biles makes stunning withdrawal; U.S. women’s gymnastics takes silver

American gymnast Simone Biles withdrew from her final Olympics team competition in Tokyo on July 27, which ultimately lead to Team USA taking silver. (Allie Caren/The Washington Post)

full article under the cut

By   Emily Giambalvo Today (Tuesday July 27, 2021) at 1:39 p.m. EDT

TOKYO — When Simone Biles soars through the air, her skills flow in an effortless rhythm that makes the extraordinary seem simple. She’s been superhumanly dominant for nearly a decade, even with a load of pressure and expectation always resting on her shoulders. But as Biles pushed off the vaulting table Tuesday night, her first flight of the evening, a peculiar sight emerged: She looked lost and shaken as she flipped and twisted, unable to perform the skill she intended.

So Biles did the unthinkable. She stepped away from the meet and her role in the United States’ quest for another Olympic gold medal in the women’s gymnastics team competition.

After her unusual vault, Biles scurried out of the arena with a medical staffer by her side. She said she realized she wasn’t in “the right head space.” When she returned to the competition floor, she pulled her sweatsuit over her leotard and hugged her three teammates, who suddenly became aware they would have to compete without her.

At first, they were stressed and in tears. Ultimately, they earned a silver medal, placing second to the Russian Olympic Committee team.

At 24, Biles is the veteran on the women’s team. But she says she doesn’t trust herself as she used to. The sport doesn’t feel as much fun, she says. Nerves bubble to the surface, especially in the high-stakes environment of an Olympic gymnastics team final. And on Tuesday, it all became too much for the world’s best gymnast.

“I know that this Olympic Games, I wanted it to be for myself,” Biles said afterward, tearing up. “I came here, and I felt like I was still doing it for other people. So that just hurts my heart that doing what I love has been kind of taken away from me to please other people.”

Biles stands among the world’s most popular athletes. She holds power to spark change with her words. She’s been an outspoken critic of USA Gymnastics, the national governing body she represents, and how it failed to protect gymnasts from sexual abuse. Biles is the only self-identified survivor of former national team doctor Larry Nassar’s crimes still competing at the elite level.

After the United States qualified for the team final in second place on Sunday, Biles wrote on social media: “I truly do feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders at times.”

When asked about those comments following her decision to withdraw from the team final, Biles said: “Yeah, that s---- heavy.”

Five years ago, when Biles led the United States to a gold medal at the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, she probably wouldn’t have made the choice to withdraw, she told reporters. She said she might have pushed through, attempting dangerous skills while second-guessing herself and “fighting all those demons” that occupied her mind. In 2021, she said, withdrawing was the right option — for her safety and even for the team’s medal chances.

“We want to walk out of here,” Biles said. “Not be dragged out of here on a stretcher or anything. So it's like, got to do what's best for me and that was what was best for the team.”

Biles arrived in Tokyo with the expectation that she could earn up to five gold medals. Now she has a silver and a spot in five individual finals — the all-around competition, as well as the final for each apparatus. But she doesn’t know what lies ahead for her at these Games.

“We’re going to take it a day at a time and we’ll see what happens,” Biles said. She confirmed that she had no physical injury, “just my pride is hurt a little bit.”

With the all-around final Thursday, Biles admits that there will be a quick turnaround. Annie Heffernon, the vice president of the U.S. women’s gymnastics program, said USA Gymnastics has a plan in place to help get Biles the professional support she needs. Biles said in the past, therapy has helped with mental health challenges. But this high-stress atmosphere of the Olympics made the struggle on the competition floor too much to overcome.

“Going into the next couple days, it’s like …” Biles said, pausing to collect her emotions as her teammates wrapped their arms around her. “Sorry,” she then said. “It is what it is. Whatever happens, happens.”

Biles could return to herself — a dominant gymnast who understands that her performance here is secondary. Or she might not feel comfortable enough to compete again. Biles said her goal for the rest of the Olympics is to “focus on my well-being and [that] there’s more to life than just gymnastics.”

As Biles trained for her second Olympics, she said she wanted the Games to be about herself — not about what others thought and not all those otherworldly expectations that she can somehow usually meet anyway. As these Games approached, she said, she felt that mind-set drifting. The struggles seeped into her training, prompting mental errors. The vault in the team final was the first public sign that something was not right, but her teammates had witnessed similar episodes in practices.

“She was giving us a little heart attack,” teammate Jordan Chiles said.

“It just sucks that it happens here at the Olympic Games, because it can happen any other time,” Biles said. “But with the year that it’s been, I’m really not surprised how it played out.”

As Biles stood on the sideline Tuesday night wearing a white sweatsuit and cheering for her teammates, she processed the drastic decision she had made on the sport’s biggest stage.

“At the end of the day we’re human, too,” Biles said, “We have to protect our mind and our body rather than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do.”

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”

Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”

On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”

How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”

Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”

On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)

On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.

On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”

On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”

On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.” 

On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.

Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)

Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”

Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”

On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.

Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”

Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”

[xlovelyyoongix]

a little jealousy | myg

summary: yoongi spots a couple of guys checking you out at the club. So, of course, he has to show them who you belong to. 18+

paring: non-idol!yoongi x female reader (established relationship)

genre: suggested smut, fluff and a bit of crack behavior from y/n's drunk friends.

warnings: cursing, jealous yoongi, alcohol consumption, yoongi grabs reader's ass, and heavy mentions of smut.

w/c: 900

Rating: 18+

a/n: so.... you might run into a few grammar mistakes since I can't afford my grammarly subscription anymore (the sad tales of a broke hoe) but please enjoy! 💕

Yoongi only came to the club tonight because you asked him to. It if were up to him, he’d have his eyes glued to his Netflix account, relaxing after a long, hard week of work. Instead, he sat hunched over at the bar, sipping on his whisky as his gaze followed your every move on the dance floor.

You were having fun with your friends; hair styled just as you liked, luscious lips coated with a flirty red shimmer, along with a tight fit bodycon dress that left nothing to the imagination. The more you laughed and danced with your girls, the more the thin fabric slipped up the thickest parts of your thighs, exposing your delicate flesh.

Yoongi ran his tongue across his bottom lip, daydreaming about all the ways he was going to fuck you the second the two of you got home. How he was going to slip your pretty feet out of your heels, placing kisses up your inner thighs until licking between the wet valley he was starving for. That would surely make his wasted time at the club worth wild.

“See that girl, the one in the black dress. She’s badd as fuck.”

Yoongi’s ears perked at the sudden mention of you. His eyes glaring at the man sitting beside him. The men who dared speak about his woman in such a perverse way.

“Yeah, she is.” The second male agrees, suggestively rubbing his hands together as he continues to leer over at you. “Had my eye on that ass all night. Think I should talk to her?”

The male playfully shoves at his friend, “Dude, I called dibs first.”

A chuckle vibrates from his throat, “A woman like that needs a real man.” He bites at his lip as his eyes travel down the curves of your body. “Someone who’s gonna take care of that sexy body all night-.”

CLANK

Yoongi slams his glass on top of the bar, creating a loud thud that causes the two men beside him to flinch at the sound. “Sorry.” He apologizes sarcastically, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he intimidatingly examines the two. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Y-your good, bro-” The man’s sentence gets cut short by the irritating glare deep within Yoongi’s eyes. He didn’t know what he had done wrong to cause such a malice look from a stranger, but he definitely didn’t want to make him any more upset. “No hard feelings.”

“Sure.” Yoongi clenched his jaw as he stood from the barstool, slapping down a 20 dollar bill to pay for his tab. “No hard feelings.” His tone, even more sarcastic, yet vexing than before.

Yoongi was never one to get jealous, in fact, he was quite confident when it came to your relationship. However, something about the way the two men gawked at you like a juicy piece of meat had him aggravated, wanting nothing more than to put them in their place.

Approaching you on the dance floor, Yoongi casually slips his hand around your waist from behind, spinning you around until the two of you are face to face.

“Yoo-Yoongi...” You were startled by the foreign touch at first, but the moment you recognized his chestnut hair, onyx eyes, and gummy smirk, your body relaxed into your boyfriend’s hold. “I thought you were going to stay at the bar-...”

Without giving you time to speak, Yoongi crashes his lips onto yours. His tongue seeking refuge past the entrance of your lips, exploring all the dips and crevices your mouth had to offer. His hands slip down the arch of your back only to unapologetically grab a handful of your ass.

You staggered for a moment, attempting to process where Yoongi’s frisky behavior stammered from. Only to fall victim to his intoxicating cologne and the throbbing he had caused between your thighs. Giving in, you press your breast against his chest, running your fingers throughout his hair to deepen the passion of the kiss.

When Yoongi pulls away, he continues to hold your body close to him. With his arms wrapped around your waist, his dark eyes pierced over at the two men gawking at you moments ago, only now staring with envy across their astonished faces.

“What's got you so handsy tonight, Yoongles?” You giggle, oblivious to your boyfriend’s exact revenge.

Yoongi replaces his cocky expression with an alluring one. “What? I can’t kiss my beautiful girlfriend in the middle of the dance floor?” He answers innocently.

You arch a brow at your boyfriend, attempting to assemble the situation. “Something happened, didn’t it?” You press on.

Yoongi chuckles, not able to get anything past his intelligent girlfriend. “I’ll tell you later.” he says, leaning in to whisper, “Only after I bend you over the mattress and remind you who you belong to, kitten.”

Yoongi’s seductive tone and lewd choice of words sends a pleasurable tingle straight to your womanly core. The thought of him thrusting in and out of your needy hole has you quickly growing in heat. “Sorry girls,” You apologize to your friends, hastily grabbing onto Yoongi’s wrist. “I’m calling it a night. See ya,” you begin to drag him along.

“Waaaaaah.” Your tipsy best friend calls after you. “Leaving us so you can get some dick. I see how it is, Y/N!”

“Traitor!” The other friend called out to you playfully.

Yoongi only snickered at your eagerness to get him home. He always found you to be sexy whenever you carried that horny yet determined shimmer in your eyes. Also making a mental note to take care of every desire you had tonight.

And to think this all happened because Yoongi got jealous.

date published 5/8/2021

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[altagraye]

How to save a life- pt 2 (Bucky x Pregnant!reader)

Bucky x Pregnant!reader pt 2

Series title: How to save a life

Part 2: The day the music died

!!! T.W.: arguments. feelings. preggo-feelings. Language.

 (Me: ***Channels bratty smol gal/sub energy**** “Stop it Steve! It’s 2021! Fuck!”)

(Tony: **”Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit” buahahahah** laughs in background**)

(Steve:**”You know what I’m thinkin’?”**)

(Wanda:** “Oh, wow! Oh my! Really?” **reads Steve’s mind, takes sip of coffee to avoid conversation**)

(Bucky: ** STARES INTENSELY** **clutches me to his body, territorially** “No! I was her comfort character first! Hands off my Precious! She’s my Doll. “)

(Sam: **holds bridge of his nose** “Did you just, **pause to inhale**, make a Lord of the Rings reference?” **insert sassy eyeroll and falcon screech**)

(Steve: **clutches his b-e-a-utiful boobs, aghast** “ I thought Glasses was mine on Tuesdays?! Buck! It’s Tuesday.”)

(Bucky: “Yeah, she is. But it’s opposite day. Get over it, Toothpick.” **Proceeds to stick tongue out, like he did in grade school.**)

I’M SORRY ABOUT MY ABOVE DETOUR, BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING BELOW.

*A/N: Ya’ll know you can comment right??

You woke with the familiar feeling of your spine and ribs were used and bruised. 

You woke already tired, as if you’d been suffocated of sleep for weeks. You wish you could fall asleep and wake up, to have this all over with already. you needed your little one in your arms. You and Bucky would playfully banter about the gender of your little one often, but in reality you didn’t care if it was a boy or girl. the only thing that mattered to you was its health and safety.

Bucky was awake, next to you in bed, reading one of his many books. He was careful not to disturb you.

You stretched as much as your bulging belly would allow, and turned over , with difficulty, nuzzling your head into your soldier’s chest and sighing.

Pausing his diligent reading, he landed a kiss on your head and stroked your hair gently.

“Good morning, Doll.” he said his voice left with twinges of rasp.

“Morning, Tin-Man” you giggled, after he gave you a glare. He didn’t like that nickname very much. But his expression was gone and a smile filled its place. He adored hearing you giggle.

His gaze flashed back to his book for a moment, only to memorize his page number and shut it, sitting it down on the bedside table.

His arm went back to its normal resting place, supporting your back, rubbing nonchalantly and dragging you closer to him. Your belly making contact with the defined ridges of his abs through soft cotton fabric.

“I talked with Steve this morning.” Bucky began but trailed off, his eye contact wavering a bit as if he was reluctant to finish his sentence.

“mmhmm. and what did he say?” you nuzzled into his chest. you inhaled his scent and felt comfortable, content in that moment.

“He’s taking us to Wakanda. They have the best medical staff in the world there. Secluded, safe. A whole country of strong warriors.”

“T’challa is letting you in? Even after his fathers death, and what he thought you did?” you quipped.

Bucky sighed for a long moment, his gaze returning to your own, regaining his confidence.

“HYDRA won’t get anywhere close to us there. We can have our little Princess in peace. T’challa knows now that, I was framed.” he said shifting his arm to gingerly stroke your belly. His gaze almost bittersweetly locked onto it.

“if that’s our only choice, then, I'll take what I can get. I’m a bit nervous but, I'll go anywhere with you my Love.” you concluded your own raw thoughts out loud. unafraid to speak your mind in the presence of your Soldier.

Wakanda was different. There you felt like a fish out of water, however you appreciated the warm welcome from T'challa.

"I welcome you to my homeland madam Barnes. Your safety is with the Dora Milage and I. But we will not overstep our boundaries. James and yourself are able to come and leave as you please. Should you need proper medical attention, Shuri will accompany you.” T’challa spoke confidently.

You had dinner and got mildly acquainted with the locals and the royalty. after dinner you noticed Bucky and Steve talking about something, some distance away from you. You waddled up to them, curious as to what they were talking about.

“There she is. My Doll. God, I love you so much. So damned much.” Bucky was almost overly affectionate tonight. which you liked but you couldn’t put your finger on why. Steve stood next to the two of you smiling wide from the pure love that you two radiated as a couple. Bucky kissed you longingly, with a certain passion that you felt might be desperate.

 You kept that feeling to yourself as Bucky took your hand and dragged it up to his soft lips, kissing the back of your hand as if he’d never see it again. His fingers interlaced with yours as he led the way to some part of the building. leading you to a lab of sorts. 

You looked around at the various unfamiliar instruments confused and verged on frightened. Bucky hopped onto one of the metal examination tables as if he were a patient. Steve stayed in the room, but gave you and your husband space.

Bucky sighed long and drawn out as if he dreaded what is was about to tell you. You grimaced slightly and tilted your head.

“Buck? What’s going on? Why are we here? T’Challa said we have a hut of our own in the village with goats and everything.”

Your lover chewed on his lip, you could see his eyes going glossy his gaze darting to your bump. His hand stroked your own, gripping it a little tighter than usual.

“I’m not all here, Doll. I have to go back under ‘til I'm better.” he said.

You couldn’t believe what he was suggesting.

“What?! James. I’m 36 weeks along! We’re going to have this baby soon. Not me, not you, us!” you said desperation piercing through your voice.

“Doll--” he began.

“Don’t! Don’t you, Doll me. I- I can’t do this alone.” tears staining your face, beginning to tremble. Just the thought of not having him with you tore you apart like nothing else. Was he going to miss the birth of his child? Let you suffer by yourself in a foreign land? He’s been alright so far, he’s never hurt you or turned into the Winter Soldier in your presence since being pregnant. So, why? Why would he do this? Didn’t he love you? Weren’t you his world? 

Bucky brought your hand to his lips, kissing your wedding ring. 

“Y/N. I can’t risk it. I need to be stable, for you and for our little Princess. Can you just let me do this, please? Can you be strong for me. Y/N?” He brought your palm to his chest, letting you feel his heart beating.

“No. Not without you. I can’t have this baby without you. I can’t stand being away from you. I don’t know who I am without you. I love you,” you dragged your tongue against your teeth, something you did when you were really upset. “But I can’t keep you from wanting this.” You didn’t know what kept you from disintegrating right then and there.

“I know I'm asking a lot. I don’t want to be away from you either, my two Loves. But, if I lost control. If I did hurt you and our baby, the way I am now. That’s not an if, it’s a when Doll.” he said hearing his voice wavering for the first time. 

“James Buchanan Barnes. You had better come back to me, soon! Gods-Dammit. I’ll be counting every minute, you hear me?” you pleaded.

A bittersweet half smile came across his features.

“Thank you Doll. I’ll be back before you know it.” he said.

“You’d better not break that promise, Barnes.” you chided.

“Yes Ma’am.” he responded looking into your eyes with longing. He wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. You were already missing his touch.

You stayed like that. holding each other until the last second. Bucky gave your swollen stomach a tender kiss. “Take care of your mother my little one.” was the last thing he said.

Steve stood next to you as you watched them put him under. Stroking your shoulder in an effort to console you as more tears spilled over. You kept your wedding ring pressed to your lips, the only thing you had of him was that piece of gold, sparkling diamonds, the child still growing within you.

In truth you weren’t sure how long you could last without him. But you would try to hold on to what you had left of him. You stayed long after Steve left to go back to New York. You pressed your palm to the frigid glass stroking your belly with your other palm.

“Just come back to us soon, Romeo.” you spoke to the glass as if he could still hear you.

“The White Wolf is lucky to have a woman like you. I am honored to have such a strong soul in my homeland. You would have made a great warrior among my people. It takes courage to love and more to let go.” T’Challa startled you a bit.

“Thank you your highness. For everything, really. You’ve done so much for us.” you felt you owed him something for his hospitality.

“Please, Mrs. Barnes, address me as T’Challa. May I escort you to your living quarters?” he asked holding out his arm for you to take. You felt awkward at the gesture but took it nonetheless.

“Sure.” you replied having a last look at your sleeping beauty.

P.S.-I apologize if T’Challa is written terribly! I hope I got him close to accurate? ***nervously chews on nails*** don’t kill me my lovelies. 

[yoonjinkooked]

Kitchen Confidential | Jin | FINAL

Pairing: Seokjin / Reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: Enemies to lovers, chef AU

Warnings: explicit sex, cursing, no longer a slow burn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), unprotected sex (don’t do that), traces of a biting kink, oral (f receiving), short handjob, feelings. A LOT of mentions of food, so you’ll most likely be very hungry for both food and Kim Seokjin. 

Word Count: 9k+, previous chapters total to 16k

Summary: After years of annoying the life out of you, your rival, Kim Seokjin, pushes you a step too far and he knows it. As angry and resentful as you are, you don’t realize that something has been brewing under the surface for years. This weekend, that will change.

Read previous parts here: 1  /  2  /  3  

SPINOFF ANNOUNCEMENT: COMING SOON, JUNGKOOK’S STORY IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL

A/N: And it’s done! This one took a while but I’m proud of myself for finishing this fic. I’m more responsible with my writing each day, and that includes actually finishing the stories I start. I have a few ongoing ones and a few wips that I am yet to post but Jungkook’s spinoff will come soon. If all goes according to plan, I will have about...20ish fics in 2021? So, let’s hope all DOES go according to plan. Thank you for following through with this story. Let me know what you think! 

Yesterday was something else entirely.

You may or may not have called Jungkook more than ten times. Of course, you had complete faith in him and deep down, you knew he was more than capable of running the kitchen without you but it didn’t hurt to check, did it? So you did. Ten times, before he threatened to block your number, which then had you dialing Namjoon. You had reassured him that your leg is perfectly fine and that you are perfectly capable of standing through service for one night. He insisted that you should rest and that they have everything under control. Which you believed, you really did but you still wanted to check. You’ve stopped calling when he threatened to fire you.

Today was a different story. With no news of a fire breaking out in Bonsai’s kitchen, you were noticeably more relaxed, ready to spend the entire day with your leg propped on a pillow, a tube of ice cream in your hands while rewatching the first season of The Office. All was going according to plan by the time the doorbell rang.

Looking at the clock, you see that it is only 7PM - Bonsai was still open, probably ready for dinner rush hour. It couldn’t be Jungkook and he is quite literally the only person who drops by unannounced whenever he pleases. Did you order food and had a memory blank? You were going to order the house specialty from that new fancy Italian place at the other side of town, just to keep an eye on competition. But did you actually order it? Or are you going crazy?

The doorbell rings again and begrudgingly, you start getting up. “Coming!” you yell, grabbing your wallet as you go, wondering if you even have enough spare change for a tip. No longer wobbling, you simply walk slowly and unlock the door, your jaw dropping when you open it.

On the other side of the door, with a goofy smile on his face and his hands full of paper shopping bags is no one other than Kim Seokjin himself.

“Hi,” he offers a greeting and you could swear you see nerves hiding behind the smile - sure enough, when you stay silent for a second too long, still too confused to speak, you see the tip of his ears turning red. That always used to happen whenever one of the teachers at culinary school was about to taste his dish in front of the entire class. And you probably shouldn’t be aware of that.

“Um… to what do I owe the pleasure?” you ask, once you can finally speak.

“I took a day off,” he announces, as if that is the only explanation you need. “I figured since you’re still officially on sick leave and your leg must hurt, you probably don’t want to cook,” he trails off, his ears now becoming redder. “I guess I just wanted to do something nice.”

“You want to make me dinner?” you check if you heard him correctly. This entire situation seems like a figment of your imagination, a very bizarre one at that. And you don’t even want to know how he knew where you live - that can of worms is not going to be opened.

“Yeah,” he nods proudly. “I mean, I’ll eat too, if you let me,” he jokes and when you stay silent, the smile slowly melts from his face. Realizing that you are leaving him hanging, you step aside to let him in.

“Come on in, the kitchen is the second door on the right,” you inform him and watch, still in a state of shock, as he takes off his shoes in the hallway before making his way down the hallway. That’s when you finally snap out of it, realizing that you won’t have enough time to process this as it’s happening. “What are we making?” you ask as you follow him into the kitchen.

“We are not making anything,” he emphasised as he sets the bags down on the kitchen island, before turning to face you with a stern expression, which instantly makes you feel like a scolded child. “I will be doing all the work as you sit back, relax and have a glass of wine. Unless you’re taking meds for your leg? I didn’t think of that,” he mumbles softly, frowning at the ground.

“No meds,” you inform him. His solemn expression turns bright so fast, you think you might be experiencing whiplash. What the fuck is going on here?! “What are you making?”

“I was wondering what would make an enjoyable, hearty meal that could speed up your recovery process,” he starts explaining. You want to tell him that a leg injury can’t be cured with food but you bite your tongue, not wanting to appear hostile, especially not when he’s in the middle of his grand gesture. You watch as he starts taking the ingredients out of the shopper bags - not one, but two bottles of Pinot Noir, the expensive kind too, followed by mushrooms, a whole bunch of veggies and one gigantic chunk of meat. It’s wrapped, but judging by his choice of wine, it has to be beef.

“You’re making beef stew?” you guess, surprised but not disappointed by his choice of dish. He, on the other hand, seems offended.

“What do you take me for?” he asks, very obviously exaggerating his reaction. “I’m a trained chef, Y/N. I’m making beef bourguignon.”

“Which is just a slightly fancier version of a beef stew,” you laugh, using humour to avoid thinking about the cook and prep time of beef bourguignon - at the very least three hours, even more if you want to Julia Child it and let it simmer properly. More than three hours with Kim Seokjin, in a row, without anyone around to hide behind? “Sounds good!” you lie, trying to look excited because you truly don’t want to ruin something that just seems like a nice gesture.

“Perfect!” he beams at you. “Now, where do you keep your chopping boards?”

No, you don’t have the time to think about it, not while it’s literally ongoing. You shake your head and decide to roll with the punches. “I want to help you, though. I can’t just sit here and let you do all the work. Not to mention how wrong it feels to have someone cooking in my kitchen,” you add, realizing that no one other than yourself ever cooked here - no one, ever.

“The cupboard under the sink,” you tell him as you sit down drag a chair towards the kitchen island, worried about the predicament you are in. First, the feelings, the ones you have shamelessly pushed under the rug and had refused to acknowledge. They have blindsided you and you can’t even properly define and understand him and now he is here, in your apartment, your kitchen, making dinner.

Not to mention that you aren’t exactly wearing your Sunday best. He’s all jeans and an elegant blue sweater, while you’re in mis-matched sweatpants and sweatshirt, which are both a size or two too big for you. Your hair is a mess and frankly, you can’t even recall if you’d washed your face this morning. You are a mess, both physically and emotionally and he has cornered you, most likely without even realizing it.

“In that case, you can peel and chop,” he starts laughing at your exasperated expression. “Come on, don’t look at me like that - I’m trying to do something nice here. The point is for you to relax and enjoy a good meal, a meal that someone else has cooked for you. And if you do insist on helping, then you can peel and chop.”

There’s a lump in your throat and you think you know why. It’s the feelings, they’re making you feel touched by his actions. He is spending his day off here, doing something nice for you, on his own free will? Just a week ago, all of this would have been a major red flag. And now it’s just something that makes you feel thankful, giddy even.

“Give me my peeler then,” you say, holding the palm of your hand open, waiting.

He smirks at you, shaking his head with what looks like disbelief and you smirk back, unable to stop yourself. The not so subtle stare off between you isn’t uncomfortable. It’s miles away from the feeling you had over the weekend, when you were straight up avoiding making direct eye contact with him. This time, you’re keeping it up, smiling when he is the one who breaks. He turns around and opens one of the drawers, finding the peeler on the first try before leaning over the island and handing it to you with a smirk still present on his face.

“Let’s start working, chef.”

The decision to slow down with the wine after your first glass was a good one. Not only is the wine one of the best ones you’ve tasted in a while, you also wanted to keep a clear head. Alcohol tends to greatly weaken your brain to mouth filter and that can’t happen when you’re one on one with Seokjin. You don’t want to ruin the evening. 

It felt as if he was the same Seokjin he was back when you first started school. The interesting, charming guy with a good sense of humor. He can still act over the top, which he did, but he was more toned down than usual. Is usual even the right word? It’s not, not when you don’t have much to compare it to. This is the first time the two of you have been alone for more than a few minutes, simply talking and enjoying the conversation. 

“You can’t be serious,” Seokjin laughs, putting one of the plates that he was washing back in the sink to turn around and give you a doubtful look. “You mean outside the subway, right?” 

“Nope, it was below ground, right around the corner from the trains,” you confirm, remembering that day clearly. “I remember that I was starving, so maybe that’s why the croissant was so good. It was cheap, on a Parisian subway and it still is my favorite food memory from Paris.”

“You’re picking that subway croissant over… ratatouille or bouillabaisse?” 

“I said favorite, not the most delicious one,” you point out with a laugh. “Travelling and eating go hand in hand, at least to me. Wherever I went, I’ve made a point to spend a good amount of my budget just on food. I’d go where the locals go, try food I didn’t recognize… Honestly, I miss that. I’m limited to one vacation a year and it’s usually just one destination.”

“I get that,” he tells you as he continues washing the dishes, which he insisted to do, despite your multiple offers to at least cover the clean up part of the evening. “A good friend of mine lives in Greece, owns an amazing restaurant. I’ve gone there for the past three years and don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I live for Greek food. But I want to explore more, you know?” 

“That’s very relatable,” you sigh, suddenly feeling a little bit regretful. “I’ve been to Italy, Japan, France numerous times, had the most amazing experiences but there are so many other places waiting to be discovered and I just play it safe. I want to go somewhere and try… I don’t know, all the weird stuff that sounds unappetizing but is actually the local specialty. I’m a bit tired of the classic dishes that end up on our menus and comfort food.”

“What’s your favorite comfort food?” Seokjin asks you, as he finally wraps up his work and joins you, sitting across the island and reaching for his own glass of wine as you try to think of an answer. Comfort food by taste or comfort food by memory? 

“I have to go with potatoes.” 

He chokes on his drink, making you laugh at his reaction. Once again, you are met with a look of disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Potatoes? Out of all the food in the world?”

“You said comfort food, not favorite food,” you remind him with a grin. “And yeah, it’s potatoes. They’re so simple and versatile and you can do whatever the hell you want with them. When I was a kid, my mom used to make me and my brother these stuffed, roasted potatoes. I don’t even know the ingredients honestly, I’ve never tried making them myself like that. To get that original comfort food taste, it has to be made by my mom. No one else.” 

“I’m a professional chef and I still fully acknowledge that I’m nowhere near as good as my mom is,” Seokjin’s admission makes you laugh but you understand it fully. “She used to make the most amazing mac and cheese. Unlike you, I did try to recreate it - I followed her recipe to a T and still ended up with a sad imitation. Nothing ever beats the food you grew up eating.”

“Are you close to your family?” you ask and regret it immediately, wondering if that is too much, if you’re asking questions you have no business knowing answers to. You’ve known Seokjin for years but you could hardly call him a friend when you know so little about him. 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he nods, not even hesitating to share information about his personal life. “I visit them often and I try to go fishing with my brother as much as I can. What about you?” 

“As close as we can be,” you shrug, reaching for your wine. “You know what our working hours are like and as much as I want to drive and see them on the weekends, I often just can’t. And my brother lives abroad with his wife and kids, so we rarely see each other. We facetime often, though. His kids are already starting school next year.” 

“I have a niece,” Seokjin smiles with that cute, content smile that now feels familiar. You wait as he pulls out his phone, turning it to proudly show off the photo he selected - it’s him with a child in his arms, a little girl with the cutest face, big smile and tiny little pigtails. She can’t be more than three years old and she looks so happy to be held by her uncle. 

“Oh, she is so cute! She adores you, doesn’t she?” the words leave your mouth before you can stop them. 

“I think she loves me more than her parents,” he admits, breaking into a fit of laughter. “She doesn’t let go of me, which I don’t mind, I adore the kid, but she just fuels my mother’s need for more grandchildren and when she clings to me… well…” 

“Oh, I know,” you wave your hand. “Mine have two grandchildren and not a single reunion passes without them wondering when I’m going to reproduce.” They mean well, you know that and you don’t hold it against them. There are just times when they make you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job with the life they’ve given you, just because you haven’t had kids yet. Yes, they mean well but that’s not something you often want to hear.  

“Do you want kids?” he asks. It should feel weird, it really should, talking about these things with him. It’s personal, too personal even, but you feel so at ease around him tonight, you can’t be bothered to care. It doesn’t feel wrong, not in the slightest. 

“One day, yeah,” you shrug, seeing as this wasn’t something you thought about often. When you’re single and haven’t had a serious relationship in years, kids are on the back burner. “What about you? I don’t know why, but I never pegged you for a parental type.”

“You don’t know me very well then,” he laughs and the way he does it is so… cheeky and teasing. If anyone else was sitting here with you right now, you would swear on your life that they were flirting. Without a doubt, the teasing smile and raised eyebrow would make your mind go in that direction. Seeing as this is Seokjin, you can’t be too sure. It goes against everything he has ever said and done. But like a curse, Jungkook’s words come back to haunt you again. Would it be so weird to think that he likes you? He is here, after all. 

“You’re right,” you nod as you put down your glass. “I don’t know you very well, do I?” he seems surprised at your question, even going so far as to look uncomfortable. Only for a second, before he offers you a smile. 

“What would you like to know?” 

“Why are you here?” you ask. It wasn’t what you were planning on asking, not by a long shot. You wanted to ask stupid questions, to find out what his favorite movies are, what’s his most embarrassing memory - the things you know about your friends. A game of 20 questions was what you had in mind when pointing out that you don’t really know a lot about him but when the opportunity presented itself, your self control had other plans. And seriously - why is he here? 

Seokjin blinks a couple of times, seemingly needing time to process your question and think of a decent answer. “I wanted to do something nice,” he shrugs, giving you the same excuse that he had given earlier. You didn’t doubt it much then but now you’ve started wondering. “We’ve decided to start over and I… wanted to extend an olive branch.”

It makes perfect sense and you don’t believe a single word of it. “Why are you really here?” you push, following your instinct. Said instinct might be affected by the feelings but it’s there. And if there is one thing you’ve learned in life, it’s to follow your gut feeling - always. 

Seokjin chuckles nervously and lo and behold, his ears give him away. “Do you think there’s an ulterior motive here?” he asks, shaking his head. He’s a decent actor, but not nearly as good as he thinks he is. He’s way too defensive for someone with no ulterior motives. “I didn’t poison the beef bourguignon, if that’s what you’re aiming at,” he adds, pointing back at the stove, where your dinner has been slowly simmering for about an hour now. 

“No, I don’t think you’re trying to poison me,” you chuckle, shaking your head, wondering if you should just stop talking and drop the whole thing entirely. “I thought that… You know what? Never mind,” you decide, knowing that some questions are perhaps better left unanswered. “Tell me, what’s your favorite TV show? Are you a binger or a once a week type of guy?” 

“Y/N, you don’t get to change topics on me like that,” Seokjin looks serious now, refusing to break eye contact. You struggle to not look away, knowing that you have pushed it too far and now you’re unable to backtrack. He won’t let you. “What did you think?” he asks. 

What’s the worst thing that could happen if you answer truthfully? He could laugh at you and that’s pretty much it. And if he does start laughing, you can play it off and join in on the joke. And if he pulls the ultimate dick move and tells your mutual friends about it, you can always deny. 

“The things that happened over the weekend had made me wonder,” you tell him, deciding to leave out the part when Jungkook opened your eyes to this possibility. “Some of the things that you’ve said kind of got my wheels spinning, you know?” you ask. As he swallows a lump, still not looking away from you, you decide to rip off the bandaid and throw your theory out. “Call me crazy and feel free to laugh and tell me I’m a fool but… Seokjin… do you like me?” 

Zero emotions are shown on his face. It’s the most perfect poker face that you have ever seen - exposed forehead, full lips and all. Self confidence was never a strong suit of yours, except in the kitchen of course, but you know better than to try and backtrack now. Seconds ago, it was still salvageable. Now, you’ve said it and it’s out in the open. You were either right or wrong. 

You wait, not backing away from the nth stare down of the night. You wait, letting him have his time to prepare an answer, whether it’s the truth or a lie. If your suspicions weren’t correct, wouldn’t he have already said something? 

“What gave me away?” 

And there it is. Jungkook was right and you were blind. How are you supposed to feel now? Relieved? Worried? Panicked? Amused? None of those make sense, nor do they describe the way you are feeling now. With Seokjin looking at you as if he has finally given up, finally surrendered, the only emotion that you can single out with clarity is curiosity. 

“Wow. I mean, I wasn’t sure, I half expected you to laugh mockingly or something,” you admit, finally looking away and shaking your head, as if that’s supposed to get your thoughts in order. “The other night, when you said that you just did it to make me laugh… I thought, maybe…” 

Lies. Jungkook figured it out, and even then, you refused to believe. Even now, you’re still expecting Seokjin to start laughing, claiming that he had pulled off the ultimate prank. He doesn’t - in fact, he looks more serious than you’ve ever seen him. 

“Makes sense,” he lets out a dark chuckle. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Or pissed at myself. I’ve said too much, I’ve set myself up,” the way he runs a hand through his hair, with that solemn look on his face makes him look… hot. Like, really hot. “But at least it’s out in the open, right? Now you know.” 

“Wait,” you raise a hand. “I have no idea what you’re trying to say. Like… since when? How? Why? I… I don’t get it.” 

“Since when?” he laughs. Now you’re borderline worried, the guy looks like he’s going to experience a mental breakdown any second now. “Pretty much for as long as we’ve known each other. I know, shocking,” he adds, seeing how your eyes had widened when you heard his answer. “To think how I thought that I was obvious.” 

“Oh no, you weren’t,” you sit up straighter, your voice raised up a notch. “You were anything but, Seokjin. I thought you despised me! That I was your arch nemesis or some shit like that.” 

“Well, maybe I wasn’t obvious to you but I was to others, I’m damn sure all of Catnip knows by now,” he tells you and he looks as if he is calming himself down. His voice is lower and he’s no longer making eye contact, but staring at the island between you. “What I said was true, I did do it to make you laugh and somewhere along the way, I’ve pissed you off, so much so that you went on thinking that I hated you. Which I don’t, by the way. Never have.” 

“You… you are a horrible flirt, you know that, right?” is all you can say now, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that the man had a crush on you for years. This time when he laughs, it’s not the dark tone that his laughter had just moments ago. This time around, his laughter is very much genuine, but it also dies down fast. 

“I’m very much aware of that,” he confirms, finally looking your way again. There’s not a trace of positive emotion on his face. It’s as if he has completely given up on this conversation ending with a positive outcome. You can’t blame them for that - given the questioning that you’re putting him through and your history together - if you were in his shoes, you’d also see this as an uncomfortable rejection conversation. 

Is it, though? It would be, if it weren’t for the feelings. They’re there. You have no fucking clue what they are, much less what they mean but they are there and you can’t ignore their existence any longer. They remind you that once upon a time, he really did make you laugh. That this whole dumb rivalry made you want to work harder and be better, even if it was for the petty reason of simply being better than him. The feelings remind you that you did always consider him attractive, that that stupid smile that he has when he’s truly happy and content does things to you. The feelings remind you that you can recognize the tell-tale signs of his embarrassment. You might not know him well, every line and crevice, every positive and negative but you still know more than you had originally thought. And you want to know more. 

“Why?” you ask, knowing you won’t have a peace of mind until you know, even if asking such questions might make him feel uncomfortable. “Why me? I just… I don’t get it.” 

“Neither do I,” he answers immediately, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t have a big reason behind it or a particular moment when I realized. Liking you was instant. Of course, it didn’t develop into something… deeper straight away. That part lasted years, but it was impossible not to like you, Y/N. We’re chefs. We make food, that’s our job - our job is to take food and cook it, presented in a visually appealing manner and charge for it more than we should. And you take such a simple, almost meaningless thing and turn it into an art form.” 

Although touching and meaningful, his words confuse the life out of you. “You like me because I’m a good chef?” you ask, wondering if you’ve missed something. 

“I like you because of the dedication you give to it,” he elaborates. “That stupid excercise that we did the other day didn’t let me do you justice. The look on your face that you’ve had on that first day remains the same now, whenever I see you taking the simplest ingredients and turning them into art. I have admired that and it’s one of the reasons why my eyes would look for you every damn time we were in that test kitchen. You were there and so focused, so beautiful and so damn good at what you did. And smart, funny, a good leader and a good friend. It also didn’t hurt that you look damn hot when you’re focused on something.” 

The last part he adds, almost like an afterthought and it makes you laugh. He laughs too, when you make eye contact. The feelings have gone haywire. You officially have no control of them because the things that he has said about you, you recognized in him as well, at one point or another. He is so good at what he does, dedicated and driven, while also being a good leader and from what you’ve seen, an awesome friend. To others he was funny - to you, he was a pain in the ass that just so happened to look damn hot when he was focused on something. 

“I don’t know what to say,” you admit when you start feeling as if the silence is lasting too long. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he waves his hand, dismissing your suggestion and once again, confusing the hell out of you. “It’s out in the open and now you know why I was an idiot for all those years. I meant what I said when I told you that I wanted us to start fresh and be friendly with one another. I’m a big boy, I know that what’s not meant to be is not meant to be.” 

“No, you’re not,” you shake your head, amused at the confusion etched on his face. “You are childish and often petty and honestly, at times you are the most insufferable being on this planet and I can’t even begin to describe how confusing it is that I find that endearing.” 

As you listed all the things he is, you watched as his face fell, but you didn’t have a chance to feel bad about it, not when you know that despite all of that, he’s still a good guy. He’s still Seokjin, with all his quirks and insufferable moments. And as much as you might want to deny it, you like him. You really do like him. 

“Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always endearing - in fact, more often than not, you were a real pain in the ass. You’re not a big boy who can handle rejection well and I don’t want to see you handle it. I don’t want to watch you struggle to get over this crush of yours for weeks, months even. I also don’t want to watch you finding it easy to get over it, completely forgetting all about it in a matter of days,” you tell him and you’re not even sure if the words make sense but they go out of your mouth and into his ears, making his eyes go wide. 

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” 

“I have no fucking clue,” you shrug, getting up from your chair. “I didn’t have enough time to process any of this. Just minutes ago, I thought there’s no way in hell that you’re that dumb to pull a third grader flirting technique,” you keep talking as you walk over to him, watching him as he turns to face you, slightly alarmed by your sudden proximity, even if there’s a good two feet between you. “I’m not fully aware of what I’m saying, or feeling for that matter, but I do know that I am feeling something. Don’t ask me to define it, cause I can’t, not in this mindfuck of a plot twist that my life did not prepare me for. I just know that I want to test something out.” 

“Test? Test out what?” he asks as you take the final step to close the gap between you. 

“This,” is all you tell him as you grab a hold of his cute blue sweater and pull him closer, not wasting a single second before you press your lips to his. Neither of you moves for a moment or two, he out of shock and you out of pure confusion because why the hell are you kissing Kim Seokjin?! A few seconds pass and it’s he who starts moving, bringing life into your dead kiss. And the moment he does, you feel it in the pit of your stomach that there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong about this. When he puts his hands on your sides, you let yours move from where they were clutching onto his sweater up and around his neck, pulling him down, closer to you. The strands of hair that reach the nape of his neck feel like silk under your fingers and when you feel his tongue graze your bottom lip, you softly gasp. 

That makes him pull away - that little gasp of yours seems like a wake-up call for him because he is pulling away, his eyes wide, making him look as if he thinks he is imagining all of this. He looks shocked but he is not letting go of you and your hands are still locked behind his neck. 

“Kissing you is good,” you conclude. “I want to keep doing that.” 

“Zero complaints here,” is all he says before he stands up and kisses you again. Without breaking the kiss, he twists your hips to the side, making you lean back on the island, the edge of the surface pressing into your back as he essentially cages you. 

It’s funny, how many things about him you never really realized. For example, how tall he actually is and how much he has to bend down in order to kiss you, which he does, diligently. You also have never noticed how clear his skin is, not until your fingers grazed his cheeks softly. He was in front of you, right in front of you, all these years and until tonight, he was nothing more than an annoying guy with a good face. How wrong you were… 

“Of course, you’re a good kisser too,” he sighs as he breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead on yours, his eyes still closed. “Are you an overachiever in every aspect of your life?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease, chuckling when he backs away, startled. 

“That’s not… I wasn’t trying to insinuate something,” he defends himself immediately. 

“But I am,” you giggle at the way his eyes widen. You can’t blame him - this night has made you go from zero to sixty in no time. That realization does make you nervous but you’ve already decided to push it back and just do whatever it is that you want to do. “I’m telling you, I don’t want to think or define. We can deal with that later. Now, I just want… you.” 

Seokjin takes a second, gulping, looking at you as if he is waiting for you to laugh in his face or take the offer back. When he stays silent for what you deem as a bit too long, you smile softly at him and drag your thumb across his bottom lip - it’s so soft and inviting, already red from the kisses that you’ve shared. You want him and he needs to stop second guessing that. 

Whatever it is that he was looking for on your face, he seems to have found it because he’s suddenly kissing you again, with a lot more ferocity than he did just moments ago. That was a kiss, a first kiss, a getting-to-know-what-this-feels-like kiss - this is a kiss. Hands digging into your skin, tongue driving you crazy with gasps and heavy breathing kind of kiss. 

You are the one who pulls away but you stay silent, taking his hand into yours and leading him towards the door. A silent moment is exchanged when he looks at the stove, where your dinner is still cooking, then back to you. Beef bourguignon takes hours to make and given the years of expertise between the two of you, you’re comfortable with leaving the stove on. So you laugh and he does too, before you pull him into the hallway. 

Along the way, you kiss, hit a few walls and your sweatshirt is left discarded on the floor - you don’t have time for another freakout at how ridiculously unprepared you are for this because the way he looks at you kills the little insecurities that haunt you. His eyes scan over any area of skin that they can see while his fingers slide over the very edge of your bra, tickling the skin they graze. Goosebumps cover your skin and you all but slam him into your bedroom door. 

“Woah,” he laughs. “Never thought you were this impatient.” 

“I’m usually not,” you admit with a shrug. 

“I’m not complaining,” he laughs as the two of you waddle towards the bed, still pressed to one another. You smile as you push him gently onto the bed. He looks up at you, mouth open and eyebrows raised. “Oh, I am not complaining at all!” 

Smiling, you straddle his lap and pause for a second, taking a moment to get used to what’s happening. Unlike you, he is patient - he simply looks at you, a strange mix of awe and giddiness written on his face. His hands are glued to your hips and he runs his thumbs in circles, gently. It looks as if he’s relishing the moment and letting you take the lead in what’ll happen next. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” you ask, your chest filling with pride when he shows you that signature smile of his, the one that causes a ruckus among the butterflies in your stomach. 

“I think it is,” he leans closer to you, connecting his lips to your neck and that one, simple action is enough to make you realize that if he’s down, you’ll be more than happy to take it all the way tonight. Neck kisses are a universal weakness and you’re gladly going to let him use it to his advantage. “If this ends up being a wet dream of mine, I’m going to be so pissed when I wake up,” he admits before nipping at your skin, an action that elicits a whole new wave of horniness to take over you. Neck kisses are bad enough - neck bites will be your downfall. 

“If it is a wet dream, come and find me when you wake up and tell me what you’ve told me tonight. Then we’ll see what we can do about it,” you joke, laughing even harder when he grabs a hold of you and moves you down on the bed. This is the first sign of initiative that he has shown so far and you are not complaining. It’s your turn now to gulp as he hovers above you, looking down at your body like he is seconds away from eating you alive. 

“I thought you were hot before but I never thought you were hiding all of this under your clothes,” he tells you as he pulls down on the straps of your bra - at least your underwear is a matching black set, if the rest of you is a mess. Lifting your back from the bed, you help him take the fabric off and he grins up at you once your boobs are out in the open. “Chef’s uniforms really didn’t do your boobs justice.” 

“You’ve seen me in casual clothes plenty of times,” you laugh at his antics. He’s known you for years, there’s no way he didn’t catch a good view of your cleavage in all that time. 

“Not nearly as often as I should have,” he mumbles and before you have a chance to talk back, he leaves you speechless as he attaches his mouth to you, immediately giving your nipple a gentle bite. Eyes rolling into the back of your head, you do your best to stay silent - there’s no way in hell Seokjin won’t be cocky about this later and you don’t want to give him too much material to work with right off the bat. 

It doesn’t take long for you to realize that one of the hottest things about being with Seokjin like this is simply seeing Seokjin like this. There is just something so inherently hot about the way his eyes close as rolls his tongue across your nipple. He makes the sight even hotter than the action itself, especially when he reaches for your other breast, gently playing with it as he pleases. Simple actions like that are already driving you nuts and you can only worry about what’s to come later. And it gets worse - turned on by the sight, you reach for him, moving the hair away from his eyes and the second you two make eye contact, a moan leaves you - a loud, shameless one at that. You could swear his eyes twinkled then and there. 

“Please tell me you have a condom,” he starts kissing down your body. 

“If you’re clean, you don’t need it. I’m clean and on the pill.” 

He suddenly stops kissing you, choosing to laugh instead. “You’re telling me that a week ago you could barely stand being in the same room with me and now you’re letting me sleep with you without a condom?” 

“I mean...” you shrug, joining in on his laughter. “I’m sure stranger things have happened.” 

“Not to me they haven’t,” he jokes, before immediately turning serious. “Are you sure you want this? I really don’t want you to regret it,” he admits. 

“The only thing I’m going to regret is letting you take the lead because you’re taking too long and you’re still in your clothes.” 

“Easy,” he laughs as he hooks his fingers past the waistband of your sweatpants and slowly starts pulling them down, leaving your underwear in place. “Eat what makes you happy, they say,” he says and you roll your eyes. Of course, leave it to Seokjin to think pussy. 

“They also say don’t play with your food,” you playfully remind him as you kick off the pants. He doesn’t laugh - instead, he reaches for your leg and softly caresses it. 

“Is your leg going to be okay?” he asks and if you weren’t whipped beyond belief before, you are now. Even you have managed to completely forget about your injury but he hasn't. Even now, Seokjin finds ways to prove you wrong and show how thoughtful he actually is. 

You simply nod and that’s confirmation enough for him. His hand trails up and on the inside of your thigh pausing before touching your wet underwear. He gives you a questioning look, not touching you until you confirm that that’s what you want. You nod quickly and in a matter of seconds, the last of your clothes is on the floor, and Seokjin is diving right in. 

Despite complaining that he’s taking too long, you realize that he’s not the one to tease - at least not tonight. His mouth connects with your clit almost immediately and it’s enough to make you moan again. He licks, sucks and grazes his teeth against it, letting you hold onto his hair like your life depends on it. He’s good, which makes perfect sense because leave it to Kim Seokjin to give you the best oral sex of your entire life. You won’t tell him - not now, perhaps not ever, cause he doesn’t need that to get into his head too, but good lord is he good. 

“Can I?” he asks, tracing his finger across your opening. 

“Seokjin, at this point you can do whatever the fuck you want,” you laugh, a laugh that turns into a moan when he sinks his finger in, curving it up immediately and making you arch your back. 

“Is this good?” he asks and the feelings go berserk again. In your mind, it can’t get any better than a man that actually pays attention to what his lover enjoys. 

“More than,” you moan as he adds another finger and effectively ends your conversation. He is driving you crazy - something that you’ve noticed before, when you side eyed his chopping skills years ago, is how he has beautiful hands with long, almost elegant fingers. Never did you think that those fingers would be inside you, making you count your blessings and struggle to not moan out his name. A struggle that you have lost when he puts a third finger to use. 

You want more - as amazing as it is, you want more. You want to kiss him, to feel him inside you, to make him feel as good as he is making you feel now. As much as you didn’t want to stop him, as much as you’d gladly spend hours like this, you wanted and needed more. 

“Seokjin, stop,” he does so immediately, looking up at you in worry. His face is covered in your wetness and the sight makes you want to cry. He has never looked hotter than he does right now, between your legs, the evidence of your pleasure all over his face and his hair a mess because of you. “I want you. Wanna kiss you.” 

“But you taste heavenly,” he pouts, turning his head to leave kisses on your thigh. 

“I’ll taste heavenly a bit later too,” you push, knowing that no matter how good this feels, it can get better for the both of you. “Come on, I want to see you.” 

Grinning, he gives your thigh a quick bite - the man has a biting kink, there’s no denying it. While that’s something you’ve never given much thought before, you are now finding it very enjoyable. What’s even more enjoyable is the sight of Seokjin taking his sweater off. You’ve known he’s handsome, you’re not blind, but never in a million years would you think that he’s so well defined. He’s not buff, far from it. He is just so perfectly defined, every muscle on his stomach noticeable and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, lickable. 

He undresses quickly as you ogle at him, your breath hitching the moment he drops his pants. 

“Well, that explains a lot,” you comment as you eye his dick - hard, girthy and surprisingly big. 

“What?” Seokjin is confused and you giggle at the way he hides his dick with his hands. “You think I’m compensating for something?” 

“Quite the opposite,” you answer honestly. “I imagine it’s easy being so full of yourself with a dick like that.” 

“Is that an insult or a compliment?” he laughs. 

“Both,” you would have been more cheeky if he hadn’t started stroking himself, the sight driving you absolutely crazy. “Please. I want to feel you.”

You don’t have to say it again - he moves to loom over you and finally, after what feels like hours and not mere minutes, you can kiss him again. The taste of you on his tongue doesn’t bother you. It’s the opposite, actually, making this moment and Seokjin himself even hotter to you. He lets you push him down onto the bed and without breaking the kiss, you station yourself above him. For the first time tonight, his hands grab a hold of your ass and he squeezes - hard. 

Both of you stay silent as you move, putting your arm between the two of you to grab a hold of his dick as you kiss. He lets out a groan the moment you wrap your hands around it. Movements gentle and slow, teasing even, knowing that this is the only chance you get to focus on his pleasure. You’d gladly take him into your mouth but you’re much too impatient for that tonight. A brief hand job will have to do, and judging by his reactions, it’s more than enough. 

You are surprised at how vocal Seokjin actually is in bed, not that you’ve given it much thought before. He’s not holding back, his moans low and deep, not embarrassed in the slightest to show you how good you’re making him feel. After one particular, higher pitched moan, you decide to do the same. You were holding back before, stupidly worried about your own dignity and giving him material to tease you endlessly. You won’t anymore. 

Biting your bottom lip and pulling it as he breaks the kiss, he leans back, looking at you with lust in his eyes, his cheeks the exact same shade as the tips of his ears. You want to take a photograph, to memorize the sight of him being turned. It feels like a privilege that only you have and you want to commit it to memory. “Y/N, please,” is all he says. 

Slowly, you line him up to your entrance and with your bottom lip between your teeth, you sink down on him. Immediately, the both of you groan at the feeling. Him being inside you feels right in all the wrong ways, a feeling so right that you know you’re going to miss it when it’s gone. 

He is the one who moves first, lifting his hips to get you to move. Smiling down at him, you grab a hold of his shoulders and slowly move your hips, letting him almost slip out of you before swallowing him whole again. Each roll of your hips faster than the previous one, not even a minute passes before Seokjin moves his hands away from your ass and pulls you directly on top of him, chest to chest, lips stuck in a slow kiss as he slams up into you. 

“Fuck, you feel so good Y/N,” he tells you and follows it with a particular hard thrust that makes you grip his shoulders harder, holding on for dear life. Having never been with him before, you couldn’t tell if he was close or not. You weren’t, yet strangely, that doesn’t bother you whatsoever. That can be dealt with easily - now, all you want to do is enjoy the feeling of him slamming into you, hard and fast, and the sight of him barely keeping it together. 

“Happy to hear that,” you giggle before said giggle is rudely interrupted with another harsher snap of his hips. “Fine, fine, you’re not so bad yourself,” you tease and the look he gives you is enough for you to know that you’ll regret saying that. Immediately. 

Without any warning, he flips you around and slams you down on the bed, his dick never leaving you. Before you can even react in any way, your healthy leg is pushed up towards your chest and Seokjin slams into you with a purpose. “You talk about how I annoyed the life out of you, pretending like you’ve never bickered back with that mouth of yours,” his words are menacing and incredibly sexy, but the way he is eating you up with his eyes kills any doubt that his words are actually resentful. “I’m glad I’ve found a way to shut you up,” he announces and as if you weren’t losing your mind already, he sneaks a finger between your legs and pinches your clit, eliciting the loudest moan of the night. “Or maybe not.”

“Seokjin!” 

“Fuck, you sound so hot screaming my name,” his pace speeds up, knowing that your orgasm is right around the corner - his thrusts become more shallow but his fingers rub your clit in the speed of light. “Come on Y/N, come for me.” 

As much as you wish that your body complied and let you come on his command, it didn’t happen that way. It took a few thrusts more, a few more harsher movements of his fingers, but by the time your orgasm has washed over you, you were gasping loudly, digging your nails into the skin of his back. Your brain was mush and you could barely recognize the words he’s saying, something about how you’re squeezing him so good. He doesn’t stop moving, helping you ride out your orgasm to the point of overstimulation. Coming out of your post-orgasm haze, you fight the overstimulation and focus on him, noticing how his thrusts are getting more erratic. He looks so out of it, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his shoulders red with how strong you are gripping him. Slowly, you slide your hands up and around his neck, pulling him down to you, ignoring the painful stretch in your leg. 

“You can finish inside me,” you tell him, hushing his loud moan with a kiss. It’s a hectic kiss, your lips barely moving because he’s gasping into your mouth and you’re moaning at the feeling of his dick twitching inside you. “Seokjin, please come for me.” 

Was it you begging for him to come or a creampie kink, you have no idea and you don’t particularly care because the moment he comes and starts filling you up, you’re on cloud nine. It feels as good as an actual orgasm, to know that you, your body, the way you made him feel was enough to make him explode, very literally. You were the one helping him now, lifting up your hips as he stood still, his face buried in your neck, his groans filling your ear. His dick is still twitching but his body has completely given up - he drops your leg and practically falls on top of you, having enough strength and sanity to soften the blow with his hands. 

His hands give up slowly and in a matter of seconds every inch of him is pressed up against you. You don’t care, too busy relishing the feeling of his breaths on your neck and his cum slowly dripping out of you and around his dick. God, you wish you could see it but the position won’t let you. Instead of pushing him away to get a better view, you close your eyes and let your body calm down together with his. 

His weight on top of you should feel suffocating but it’s not. It feels comforting and right, which scares you to an extent but not enough to chicken out and push him away, especially not when he starts kissing any parts of you he can reach, focusing on your shoulder. After a few moments he rolls over but stays close, his hand draped over your side. You look at each other and it’s impossible not to smile because he is beaming. You can’t remember if you’ve ever seen him this happy. You must have - it’s just that you probably weren’t paying attention. 

“So… that happened,” he speaks up first. 

“Yup. Talk about a plot twist, huh?” you joke, shaking your head as you realize how weird this is on paper. “Culinary school Y/N never thought a day would come when she’d have sex with Seokjin.” 

“Yesterday’s Seokjin never thought a day would come when he’d have sex with Y/N,” he laughs, shuffling closer to you. By the looks of it, he is a cuddler and you have zero complaints about it. You let him hold you, snuggling against his chest, enjoying the moment a lot more than you ever thought you could. “Let me take you out, Y/N,” he tells you. He seems earnest and a lot more hopeful than he was back in the kitchen. “You found it in you to put the tension behind and give us a shot at being friends. Why not give this a shot, too? I like you a lot and I’ve liked you for a while… maybe you could find something to like in little old me?” he shrugs. 

“It’s already too late for that,” you laugh, lowering your head to leave a few kisses on his chest. “I’m still not ready to define it and put it to words but I’d be happy to go out with you,” you admit. 

“It might not take us anywhere,” he shrugs, making your head bounce with the movement. “For all we know, you might realize you do hate my guts after all. But maybe we end up getting along better than anyone would expect?” 

“Seokjin… with your cooking skills and your oral skills, we’re already getting along very well, if you ask me,” you joke but after a few seconds of laughter, he sits up and pushes you away. 

“The beef bourguignon!” he gasps. The sight of Seokjin running out of your bedroom, naked, to check on the food brings tears to your eyes. You can even hear him berating you, yelling something about how this is not a laughing matter but that only makes it more comical. Isn’t it ironic how now, he can make you laugh without even trying? 

The beef bourguignon didn’t burn. It was the best beef bourguignon that you’ve ever had. The entire evening was one of the best in your recent memory. Whether it was the dinner, his sweater that you were wearing while you ate, the wine, the shared shower or waking up the next morning in his embrace, the time you’ve spent with Seokjin was enjoyable, perhaps even meaningful and definitely worth repeating. 

As long as you are both willing to give it a go, it’s worth it. And it has to be kept between the two of you, at least for now. Cause as much as you like Seokjin, his cooking skills and his dick, your group of friends will never, ever, let you live this one down. Although, for all of the above… it might just be worth it. 

THE END 

[seasidepierre]

thank you for your Pierre deserves better line because it's true!! People who don't even watch/listen to Pierre content or context (especially I find this with Charles fans they engage only with him) and then pretend they're experts on everyone else??? Especially it happens with Pierre I feel like they see the headline clickbait articles and run with it anyways you're right!!

I won't pretend to know what that person had in mind and it's totally okay if they don't like Pierre. You can't please everyone, right? I personally have the biggest bias against Lewis and find him annoying as hell, so I understand that his fans don't want to read that and that's why I usually don't scream it everywhere.

That being said, Pierre has been through SO MUCH in the last few years, he's had to deal with so much trauma and still he rose. And he never forgot who he was or where he came from. He's been a big supporter of Charles' forever, he has always said that Charles was his best friend and closest friend on the grid, he was the one to encourage Charles to win Spa 2019 "for Anthoine" when he could have just stayed silent and grieved or when he could have gone insane and tried to win no matter what, creating a crash. He almost always asks whether Charles is out when he crashes. When they collided in Styria, he was extremely careful in his choice of words and never once said anything negative, but rather said "I feel like it was on him, but racing incidents happen, we'll have to move on and not let this happen again, it's already pretty huge it didn't happen before between us, we lasted quite a long time without crashing into each other!". He also said he wouldn't accept it if his team told him to not be friends with Charles because he was a competitor. And I'll repeat myself again but the book on Pierre's win, told by his closed ones? His father spoke about Charles in such a nice way, you can feel the love that the Gasly family has for Charles.

So yeah, I wasn't going to sit down and read a post implying that Pierre was taking advantage of his friendship with Charles or that he wasn't as involved in their friendship as Charles. Those two obviously love each other in that brotherly way, they have such a nice bond, it's not fair for Pierre. Now, again, I'm not trying to stir drama or to blame the original post. I just wanted to bring nuance to their words, because I don't want people to take their words for gospel when it wasn't true.

And while we're at it, I fully support him "dragging" Checo, because when you've been constantly hurt and compared to the guy who replaced you, yet you never said anything about the guy actually, and when it came to replace the guy in question and you're still overlooked, and you're still compared to the new one.. well you might as well dive into the comparisons. Pierre's 2021 season was insane, considering the level of that car. He deserves a top team. I just hope to God, like his mother does, that he'll get the fuck away from Red Bull. This team is bad news and he deserves better than Marko and Horner, the two biggest bitches you could find. You sure as hell can only expect Checo to be that high on the final ranking when he had the best or second best car of the grid. His fans went insane at what Pierre said back in an interview for a French TV but he was right. Checo's first half of the season wasn't that good for a Red Bull driver and for Marko to still drag Pierre even though he was showing such strong potential? Bitch, I would have broken some knees, not gonna lie.

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[dayseternal-blog]

Summary: When her gorgeous coworker hesitates to make the first move, Hinata plans to drop a few more hints.

Pairing: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto

Written for @naruto-smut-monday 2021 - January Prompt: Snowed In.

(Please excuse that it’s already February 😓)

Rated E for smut and no plot.

Short One-Shot: Making It Obvious

The click-click of heels approaching make her straighten up and pretend to focus on her computer.  Her boss, Kurenai, stops at her workstation.  “Hinata, you should really go home soon.  You heard that it’s going to snow tonight, right?”

“I know, I just, I really want to finish this before the weekend.  I think I’ll be done soon.”  Hinata looks up pleadingly, hoping that her trustworthy demeanor doesn’t fail her now, hoping that her boss believes her.

“You’re not finished, yet, with that report?” Kurenai asks.

“I’m almost done.”

“Well, okay...drive home safely, Hinata.  And if it starts snowing, take a rideshare home.  I’m leaving now, and you should, too.”

“Yes, thank you.  You drive home safely, too.”  And out of everything Hinata’s said, those were the only sincere words.  Because in truth, Hinata was done with the report an hour ago, and she’s been doing her best to look busy…

Kurenai has walked across the room, disappearing behind a partition, and she can hear her repeating similar sentiments to another coworker.  “Naruto, go home soon.”

“Yeah, I know, I know, I will.”  His warm voice carries clearly, straight to her heart.

“Have a good weekend.  Drive home safely.”

“Thanks, you, too, Boss.”

Hinata shifts her legs, and the slide of the sheer, black tights she chose to wear to give her some extra self-confidence for today’s personal mission makes a slight heat pool in her core.  But she smiles and nods normally as her boss bids her goodbye, heads toward the elevators, and disappears from view.

She takes a careful breath.

It’s just Naruto and her now.  Just them, alone in the office.  The super good-looking man who’s been unconsciously (?) flirting with her just a few tables away.

A “friendly” pat on her head.  A glance at certain places on her body when he thinks she doesn’t know.  Lingering by the coffeepot when she’s there, too.

So why hasn’t he asked her out on a date, yet?!

She’s been trying to work her nerve up for a few weeks now.  If he won’t make a move, then she will.

Or so she thinks she will.

It’s now or never.

Now.

Or.

Never.

Thirty minutes later, she’s still sitting in her same spot, and each minute makes her regret her choices.

She can’t just go up to him, looking like how she is, trying to be..be.. seductive or appealing or…  She’s always thought of herself as more of a cute-type, but maybe that’s why he hasn’t asked her out, or maybe it’s that her shyness doesn’t make her inviting enough, or she just hasn’t been giving him the right signals.  So that’s why she decided to dress like this!

So embarrassingly!

No, it’s not embarrassing!, she scolds herself.  She knows she can look sexy if she tries, but to try to look sexy is just so embarrassing.  No, it’s not embarrassing.

She goes in mental circles, rebuking and reasoning with herself.

Taking a deep breath, she completes the first step.  Shutting down her computer.

Another deep breath and she’s accomplished the second step.  Removing her black blazer.

“Ohhh no.”  His loud groan reverberates against the walls, and she glances up from scrutinizing the satiny pearl camisole she chose to wear.

It’s snowing.  Really, really coming down.  White flurries dancing about in the wind outside the window, illuminated by the glow of yellow streetlights.

The sounds of him packing up are obvious, and with a knot of nerves gripping her gut, she stands, hoping to somehow catch his attention.

She doesn’t even know if he knew she was still here.

He comes around the corner, his stressed gaze immediately falling on her, and by how his eyes widen, she can’t tell if it’s her still being here or if it’s just her, looking like this that caused the obvious surprise.  “...Hinata…”

“Naruto-kun,” she answers, and searching for something to say, she points out the obvious, “it’s snowing.”

“Yeah…”  A quick glance at the window, and his eyes are back on her.  “It is.”

She’s certain he feels, at the very least, a physical attraction.

He closes the distance, coming up to her table, and their difference in height always just does something for her.  “Are you going home, yet?”  His blue gaze passes toward her blazer, laid back on her chair, then over to her computer, decidedly dark.

“Um, well…”  She obviously should, but unfortunately, the direction of this conversation already spells mission failure.

“It’s probably only going to snow more as the night goes on.”

“Yeah…”  She fidgets, searching for some way to prolong their time.  She looks up, daring herself to look him in the eyes, to try to turn on any kind of feminine charm that she has.  “How are you going home?  Are you going to drive?”

“Uh…”  He swallows, blinks, his brows scrunching.  “What, sorry, what did you say?”

Even his obvious distraction is adorable to her, and she smiles to put him at ease, as if she didn’t notice where his eyes were.  She’s just glad at the affirmation that they’re both bumbling messes in front of each other… That might explain a lot, actually.  “Are you going to drive home?  I was thinking of taking a rideshare.”

“Oh…yeah...”

“It’s dangerous to drive home…”  Commencing step three with this sudden onslaught of confidence, she begins taking out the pins from her bun, letting her hair fall loose over her bare shoulders, hoping upon hope that this is enough signals to tell him to ask her out by the end of the night.  “We could take a rideshare...together?”

He’s watching her closely, and again, a pinch appears at his brow.  “...together…”

“Mhmm.”

“...Here…?”

“Yes…?”  She doesn’t understand.  Where else would they get the rideshare.

“Hinata…”

“Mhm?”

“Are you sure?”

She nods with a reassuring smile.  It would save them time after all, unless if they live on completely opposite ends of town.  “Oh, I mean, unless, is it an inconvenience for you?”

“No, of course not, but…”  His hand comes up, and he’s touching her upper arm, something much more intimate than those cutesy head pats.

She’s inwardly cheering.  “I don’t live that far...do you?”

He pauses again, his look growing ever slightly more intense, and she understands this darkened look...and belatedly, her own invitations.

That’s not what she meant.

Heat suffuses her.  She can already tell her cheeks are staining pink, and this is not how she meant the night to end, but…if that’s how he’s taking it,...

She doesn’t mind at all.

His hand is playing up her shoulder, caressing her neck, and she instinctively tilts her head into his palm as he pushes her hair back, and he’s murmuring where he lives, confirming that, yes, she lives much closer, and he’s kissing her.

She sighs into him, her body revealing her desires much sooner than she would have liked, her hands pulling him closer, pulling herself flush against him to deepen their kiss.

The thump of his bag hitting the ground makes her smile against his lips, but she won’t part from him, not when he’s holding her waist, the stroke of his fingers obviously enjoying the silk of her cami.

It’s altogether lewd of her, she knows, but she rubs herself only further up into him, encouraging him to acquaint himself with her body, her senses thrilling as he launches them past propriety.

His hand squeezing her over her pencil skirt.

His arm wrapped securely around her waist.

His hair soft between her fingers.

His body warm and big against her own.

“Naruto-kun…”

“Wait...your place?” he mumbles into her lips.

They shouldn’t do it here.  At work.  Where anyone could catch them.

She’s pushing his jacket open, and he’s shrugging it off, dropping it on the floor quickly before wrapping her up again, and she hums in shivering delight as he trails kisses down her neck, his hands pushing and guiding her hips until she’s sitting back on her desk.  Shamelessly, he swipes his tongue over her cleavage while he drags the straps down until her cami is rolled at her waist, her strapless bra easily following.

“Hahh, Naruto-kun…oh…”  She leans back and arches into his hands and lips, a haze clouding up everything but the growing ache in her core, the moist heat at her womanhood.

He sucks and nips, squeezing and massaging her breasts, steadily positioning himself between her legs, her skirt now hiking up around her hips, too.

His clothed hardness presses right against her arousal, humping into her as they kiss furiously, the friction more maddening for her than he could possibly realize.

She can’t wait any longer.  Pushing him away slightly, he takes the hint right away, already working his belt off.

And that’s when he notices.

Her tights are crotchless.

His jaw visibly drops, his hands on his pants zipper pause.

Heat burns her face, but she spreads her thighs wider and lets him look.

Then suddenly he’s a frenzy of movement, clothes pooled at his feet, lips bruising hers, and his fingers rubbing into her heat, spreading her lower lips apart, a finger tunneling into her the way she wants his cock.  “Fuck, Hinata, you’re naughty.”

“Mmm…”  She wishes she could deny his accusation, explain that she wore it for confidence purposes...but the evidence is all too glaring at the moment.  “Please, Naruto-kun…”

One second she loses his finger, the next, he’s angling himself into her, forcing her to spread around his girth.

“Oh..oh, yes…”  She can feel her moisture slowly coating his member, easing his entrance, the rock of his hips nudging him deeper, closer.

“Hahh, yeah, uh, so,...mm…”  He sinks in, grinding up as he holds her hips down, sending flares of pleasure up to the crown of her head.  His exhale has him drawing out, thrusting in once, a low, throaty groan following that has her whimpering, only further aroused by his vocalized pleasure.

He draws back and folds her skirt up against her stomach, obviously watching himself pulling out, then disappearing back in, her black tights framing their joining bodies.

“Hinata,” he huffs out, and there’s a hint of disbelief and awe there that has her wanting to laugh, if only she had the breath for it.

Because he quickens, ramming harder and harder into her, his dick driving ruthlessly in and out, pushing cut, uneven gasps from her throat.  He creates a senseless, rude rhythm, jerking and grinding her into nothing more than heated breath and body.  Dropping weightily, he shoves his tongue against hers, a singing connection that surges through her, and she’s reaching for him, grabbing for his rounded shoulders.

“This too rough?”  His darkened, lidded gaze, the taste of his lips, the heat of his words.

Shaking her head and kissing him is all she can do in enthusiastic response.

Arms wrap around her, dragging her down from the desk, breaking her out of their dazed kiss, and he mumbles, “Turn around for me.”

Leaning over, she registers her work station, now completely defiled, never to appear the same to her ever again.  Yet these wandering thoughts evaporate with his groping hands on her ass, his manhood piercing back into her easily, splitting her flesh apart.

He’s reaching deeper than before, steadily moving faster and harder into a pace that definitely won’t last.  Strong arms reach beneath her, one hand gripping her breast possessively, and it’s been so long since she’s felt this desired, this free and pleasured.

She reaches down to rub her clit, the extra stimulation almost making her knees buckle.  Sizzling fire burns her toes, up through her clenching sex, zinging along her spine until she’s fighting to keep from shrieking.

“Agh...ugh.....”  His low, chopped moans have her stirring herself up relentlessly, her whole body locking up in suffocating anticipation, senses narrowing to a searing point.

Her whole body trembles in hot, wild ecstasy, clenching and pulling on him in desperate delight.  A breathless scream heats her throat, alighting above the heavy thump of her throbbing pulse.

“Fuck.”  He pulls out just as she’s calming.  She can feel him rubbing into her exposed skin, then his wet tip circling and sloppily kissing about her lower lips.  Hot seed drips down her inner thighs, staining her tights.

In the ensuing quiet of her heartbeat, she looks back with an exhausted smile, appreciative of his consideration.  She’s on birth control, so he needn’t have worried about it, but the thought is still indicative of his character.

Naruto really is a good guy.

He palms his face, quietly panting, his chest visibly rising and falling.  She watches him blink as if he’s waking from a hallucination.  Noticing her gaze, he smiles, too.  “I’ll go get tissues.”

She waits patiently.  A poking part of her self-consciousness is appalled at tonight’s development, but she ignores it as best she can, instead resting her head in her arms.

And when he returns, he actually wipes her up a bit until she straightens before handing her the tissue for her to do the rest.

“Thank you,” she murmurs.  If she didn’t know what to say before, she really doesn’t know what else to say now.

Luckily, Naruto’s strong point is his social abilities.  He’s pulling his pants back on when he breaks the silence.  “Hinata, this is by far the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She winces and blushes.  “...Me, too.”

He looks up, slightly incredulous.  “Really?”

“I swear I’ve never done this before.”

“But you wear those things all the time.”

“No, I don’t!”  She pulls her skirt down and smooths it out far more aggressively than necessary.  “I, I just wore it today because I wanted to give myself confidence...to approach you.”

He looks really thoughtful as he straightens his clothing out, and she hopes she’s somehow rectified her image.  “So, like, when you have to do a presentation or meet a potential partner or client, you wear that?  For confidence.”

Her jaw drops, and she really wants to say no.

His straight expression morphs into the evilest grin she’s ever seen.  “Good to know, good to know…”

“Naruto-kun!”

His hands fly up in innocent defense.  “I was just asking.”

She hurriedly puts on her blazer, as if by covering herself up into a proper lady, she’ll be able to erase whatever dirty direction his mind is going.

He picks up his own jacket from the floor, redressing, and now it’s like the past ten minutes never happened.

They silently head out to wait for the elevator.

“Sooo…” Naruto starts, “dinner?”

She looks up at him in amazement.

“This,” he gestures back at the office, “wasn’t meant to be a one-time thing or...?”

A smile bursts across her face, so incredibly relieved that he doesn’t just see her as a good lay.  “Oh no, I’d love dinner.  My place?”

“Your place,” he easily agrees.  His hand gently lands around her waist to guide her into the elevator.

----

He was kind and gentle for the rest of the night, their relationship kicking off wonderfully, and it’s as if she could forget she accidentally propositioned him in the office…

She could almost forget…

If he weren’t sticking his hand up her skirts everyday “just to check.”

[shroomcult]

@soulxmakaweek

Soma week 2021 Day 2: Healing

All too young was Maka Albarn exposed to the bitter resentment of a crumbling marriage.

She never had to bear witness to domestic violence or explosive arguments between her parents. No glasses were thrown against walls, no doors were slammed, no vitriolic exchanges that ended in another charging out the door and speeding out of the driveway.

It had been slow, and cold - like watching frost spread on a windowpane until nothing could be made out from the other side. The days when her parents loved each other, smiled while in the other’s presence were nothing more than distant and dream-like memories.

“I love you” was only something a desperate and conniving man said to get the outcome he desired. Not that it was any use. Papa could throw that phrase around all day, and yet Mama walked out of their lives all the same. 

It also meant nothing when it came from her mother’s own mouth moments before she stepped out of the threshold of their front door for the final time. If her mother loved her, she would have taken her only daughter with her instead of leaving her with a blubbering fool.

Maka shook this thought out of her head. 

No. Mama does love me - of course she does. She just has important work to do, she’ll come back for me when she’s ready. When she’s healed.

A feminine giggle could be heard from down the hall - from her father’s room. It effectively tore her from her thoughts.

So she hadn’t been hearing things. He really had the audacity to sneak a woman into their house for a little sleep-over not more than a week after the separation. As if she wouldn’t notice.

Well, she hadn’t heard the woman come in late last night, but surely Spirit was aware that his daughter was always an early-riser. 

She stepped out of her room, passed the sinners' den that was her father’s bedroom and into the kitchen to sit at the table with her book - and wait.

She wanted to make this as difficult for him as possible. She wanted to see the intruder for herself, to look them both in the eyes.

It hadn’t taken long before the snakes slithered out. She heard the master bedroom door creak open as hushed voices filled the hall leading out to the living area. She could distinctly make out the sound of her father hushing his secret guest.

As soon as they appeared in the living room and in full view of the kitchen, Maka set her book down and cleared her throat purposefully.

Spirit’s face drained of all the light that had been present only moments before. He looked as though someone had aimed a gun at his skull and demanded his wallet, his hand quickly removed from the mystery woman’s hip like it had been burned.

“M-Maka! Oh, hello sweetheart … what are you doing up so early?” he forced a smile, but his eyes conveyed nothing but guilt.

“I was having trouble sleeping. With all the noise.”

If he hadn’t already looked ready to crawl into a ditch, he certainly did after that comment.

His bedtime companion let out an airy laugh of discomfort before quickly excusing herself from the house she hadn’t belonged in to begin with.

The sound of the front door closing behind her had been deafening in the remaining silence between father and daughter.

“Maka-” Spirit tried to begin, but he clamped his jaw shut when she shot up from her seat, the chair scraping severely on the tile behind her.

She leveled him with a stare that he was familiar with as she tried to emulate the sternness of her mother to the best of her ability. He withered under it.

“I hate you.”

He stammered uselessly, his eyes glassy as she turned on her heel and made her way out the house, slamming the door with all the force she could muster.

Her vision warped and blurred as she stomped through her neighborhood and made her way out to a main street. 

She soon broke into a sprint, lungs burning along with her eyes as her feet carried her away with little thought as to where she was going. Her throat squeezed tight, making breathing all the more difficult but her pace did not falter until she came to a full stop in front of her subconscious choice of destination. 

She stood before a familiar grouping of apartments with faded but colorful walls. She’d been here only a handful of times, just to kick Soul’s ass into gear when he wasn’t studying like he should be. For the most part, she had no need to visit his apartment because he met her at the academy. 

Why him of all people? Why is he the first person I wanted to see when I feel like this?

She liked Soul just fine. Trusted him in battle at the very least. 

But she wasn’t sure how much he really fit the description of friend. They stuck close together out of necessity. They didn’t exactly play nice with each other all the time - he was a difficult person to get close to, stubborn and distrustful. Perhaps she was too.

Even while her mind continued to question her reason for coming to him, her body moved of its own volition, feet taking her up the worn concrete steps to his door towards the end of the hall.

It wasn’t fair for her to show up here on a weekend and drag him out of bed to dump her problems on him, yet she pounded on his door like she had every right to anyway.

It took him quite a bit of time, but she heard someone growl “what the fuck” from behind the door before it swung open revealing her very irate weapon partner in pajamas with his already ridiculous hair in a nest of pure bedhead.

The hostility softened from his baggy eyes the moment he recognized the wetness on her cheeks.“What’s wrong?” he tried to ask only to get crushed into a hug seconds later.

She sobbed into his shoulder and clutched the back of his Nirvana shirt like her life depended on it. She was immediately embarrassed by her behavior, but she had trouble closing the floodgates at such a point of mental volatility and decided she’d much rather bury her face against him than meet his concerned gaze. 

It took a few moments, but his body finally relaxed and he rested his hands timidly on her shoulder blades, letting one of his thumbs rub circles in an awkward attempt to soothe her.

She was almost caught by surprise when his uncertain contact tightened into almost a protective grip, and he allowed his entire palms to smooth over her back.

“Here, get inside,” he murmured against her ear, slowly releasing her and guiding her by the arm into the safety of his living room.

He only motioned for her to sit down on the couch before trudging to the kitchen to rustle around in his cupboards.

She felt a twinge of gratefulness for the opportunity to clear her face and steady her breathing as she listened to the sound of him starting up the microwave. She wasn’t some baby to be coddled after all. 

She didn’t get much time to compose herself before he was making his way back to her, a small saucer with a cup of hot tea rattling in his hand.

He set it down on the coffee table in front of her and took a seat on the couch beside her. He sat quite a few inches away, but reached out to pat her arm for a moment. Ah, back to awkward. 

“Uh - Tea’s for you. Chamomile, is that fine?” 

She nodded, carefully taking the mug from its place and bringing it to her lips, allowing the steam to settle into her face and relax her for a moment. 

He didn’t say anything else, just nodded and hunched his shoulders forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he stared in front of him at nothing in particular.

Either he wasn’t in the mood to play therapist and prod her for information or he was trying to respect her boundaries. Maybe it was a combination of both.

She found her voice after a few more sips of tea, offering him a vague complaint.

“I can’t stand to be around him anymore.”

She could feel that he was staring straight at her side profile, but she couldn’t meet the boy’s unnerving red eyes for the moment.

She fiddled with the cup in front of her instead, gathering her thoughts as his eyes patiently drilled through her peripheral.

“He just repeats the same dumb mistakes. Over and over again. How can someone be so stupid?” she spat, thinking of a hundred crueler words that could describe her father even better than stupid could.

Soul looked away for a moment, scratching the back of his head.

“He is pretty stupid, I’m not gonna argue that. I think I’d rather say that he’s selfish and optimistic though. He knows what he does is fucked. He knows, and he still does it because he hangs on to the hope that maybe he won’t face the consequences.”

“Well, he’s faced plenty of consequences! My mother is gone, he’s going to have a divorce, and I hate him! How is that not a consequence to him?!” she cried out, placing her mug down with enough force to send droplets of tea around the table.

Soul seemed unfazed by her rough treatment of his personal belongings, shrugging half-heartedly. “Again, not saying he isn’t a complete idiot. Just saying there’s more layers to it. Call him what he is - a bastard. Shouldn’t blame it all on stupidity, that’s lettin’ him off easy.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she said with a heavy sigh, already feeling most of the fight leave her. “I understand why Mama left. Yet, her decision still hurts so much, Soul. Did she not think about me at all?”

His lips set into a tight line and he was wringing his hands out in a clear sign of discomfort. Had she broached a weird subject with him? Did he have issues with his own parents like this?

It occurred to her that she honestly didn’t have a single clue about her partner’s personal life prior to joining the DWMA. Did that make her a bad partner?

“I don’t know,” he answered quietly towards the floor, “It’s normal to hurt from something like that. I’d like to tell you that she won’t stay away for long, but I don’t really know that, Maka. I’m sorry.”

“I know -  I’m not expecting you to have answers. It just helps that you’re listening, I guess. So, thanks for that,” she tried to force a smile, but Soul was entirely unconvinced of it, only offering a sympathetic quirk of his lips in return. Still, she continued, “There’s some messed up part of me that wishes they could have just stayed together. That somehow things could go back to the way they were when I was younger, like none of this ever happened.”

He was staring at the floor again, but quickly met her eyes with a dull, haunting sadness that seemed beyond his years.

“It’s better that they split. Nothing good comes from forcing it just to keep up an image, trust me.”

The way his voice trembled like his throat was closing up encouraged Maka to change the subject.

“I don’t want to go back there,” she whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest as she felt that familiar, unwelcome heat gather behind her eyes again.

“Then don’t. You know I’ve got the extra bedroom. It’s pretty normal for partners to live together, ya know.”

Her eyebrows jumped to her hairline at this suggestion. “Like, I can just move in here? with you?”

“I mean, yeah. Why not?”

She couldn’t really come up with many downsides when she truly thought about it. It’d be helpful to have her weapon partner close by. There was the possibility that they could drive each other crazy enough to completely ruin their already hard-earned resonance.

And yet - that wasn’t a very good excuse. What kind of flimsy excuse of partners would they be if they couldn’t maintain decent resonance rates just from spending more time together?

They were stronger than that. This could work.

Another thought tugged at her heart. “I would be leaving behind my family.”

“We could be our own family,” he asserted with confidence, but it wavered when he saw the way she looked at him - like he had suggested something romantic between them. His cheeks and the tips of his ears lit up pink and he immediately backpedaled, “Uh- like, partners? Right? We have each others’ backs … like a family,” he trailed off, scratching his cheek and looking anywhere but at her face.

For all his snark and stoicism she realized he was rather shy. It was kind of cute. What the hell did I just think?! She attempted to compensate for her own internal embarrassment by bumping his shoulder roughly with her own.

“Okay. sounds good, partner. So what’s the plan for the rest of the day? And don’t tell me you’re just going to sit around and watch TV.”

“Nothin’ wrong with that. It’s Saturday, for fuck’s sake.”

“No, that isn’t engaging enough,” she said, flicking his cheek and earning herself a scowl in response.

“Fine. I have an idea for a therapeutic activity,” he said as he got up and crouched down beside the cabinet under the TV, pulling out two game remotes.

Maka was already shaking her head in disapproval.

“C’mon bookworm. Play me in Mortal Kombat. You can pull my spine out - it’s fun and the violence will make you feel better, promise.”

“I’m not playing some brain-rotting, man fantasy, thank you very much.”

He ignored her entirely and began working on hooking up his console.

“Just pretend you’re fighting your old man,” he suggested over his shoulder.

She smiled despite herself and placed a light kick against his back from her spot on the couch. “Fine, but you have to come with me to Papa’s place later today to help me get my stuff.”

“Yeah, sure thing. How much you wanna bet I could make him cry?”

In that moment, she came to the conclusion that she had chosen a good family. 

She was going to be okay.

[twomanyideas]

Through the Spyglass - Chapter 2 (Final)

A collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

Gratsu Weekend 2021 Prompt: Disaster Pairing(s): Gray x Natsu, Sting x Rogue

For @walkinginfiction​

AO3 | Prev: Ch 1

Chapter 2

Passing the mirror in their small entrance, Natsu checked himself out just to make sure he looked somewhat presentable. His hair looked good. His shirt wasn’t bad either, save the glitter, but his skin looked like he’d been eating bacon everywhere Sting had applied the lip balm. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to get rid of the greasiness. It kind of worked, but some of that glitter must've been on his hand, and he’d now smeared it over his face, which still smelled like breakfast. As did his hand, and he couldn't even go back upstairs to wash it off because the muffled sounds told him he absolutely did not want to be there right now. So with no other choice, he opened the front door and stepped outside. Fuck my life.

That should have been a choice on those damn dice.

Natsu took a moment to examine the three pieces of mail in his hand. His eyes narrowed as he read: Or Current Resident typed beneath Gray’s name. He wanted to strangle Rogue. Junk mail? Really? What kind of idiot went out of his way to return junk mail?

Great.

He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw that at least the last letter seemed important. Placing it on top, he figured he might as well get this over with. Gray could see what a fucking disaster he was, and he could get back to his famine.

Still, Natsu’s natural optimism refused to let him give up completely, not to mention his curiosity. After days of watching Gray through binoculars, he couldn’t help but be a little excited at meeting him in person.

He crossed the street, keeping his eyes fixed on Gray’s front door until he stood outside of it.

Alright Dragneel, you can do this. You have a valid reason to be here, and you’re looking very fine.

He was about to ring the doorbell when the door opened unexpectedly, putting him face to face with Gray.

The first thing Natsu noticed now that he could see him up close, was that his eyes were indeed blue, and as he stared into them, he couldn’t help but smile at being right.

“Hi?” Gray frowned, giving Natsu an inquisitive once over, gaze lingering on the glitter sticking to his shirt.

Natsu listened with fascination as Gray somehow made that one word sound like the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.

“Are you alright?”

Natsu blinked, confused by the question until he realized he still hadn’t said a word, just stood there gaping like an idiot.

“Mail,” he blurted out, holding out the letters. “I mean, I have your mail.”

“Oh, thanks for bringing it over,” Gray said as he grabbed the letters from Natsu. He looked down at the envelopes, his mouth twitching as he examined them.

“You, uh, really like glitter, huh?”

“Would you believe I was assaulted?”

“By who, the glitter fairy?”

Natsu roared heartily at that, earning himself a smile from Gray. “Close. I'm so calling him that from now on.”

“Well, it certainly looks good on you.”

Was Gray flirting with him? Yes!

“I’m Natsu, I live across the street.” he extended his hand for a handshake, completely forgetting about the lip balm.

“Gray, but you already know that,” Gray shook his hand, and it was only when he let go quickly, his expression changing from friendliness to disgust that Natsu remembered.

Noooooo! Things had been going so well!

Gray sniffed at the air, “Do I smell bacon?”

“Bacon?” Natsu chuckled nervously, wiping his hand on his pants leg, “That’s kind of random.”

“Right.” A beeping noise had Gray pulling out his phone, “Well, it was nice to meet you. I guess I’ll see you around,” he muttered, peering down at his phone’s screen.

“Yeah, bye.”

Natsu couldn’t believe he’d crashed and burned so hard, so fast. Fucking bacon balm. And now he’d have to go back home and listen to the two rabbits. He turned around, but Gray had grabbed him by the arm before he could get moving.

“Change of plans. I need a favor,” he said, dragging him inside the house and up the stairs.

“Hey, let go of me. What the hell?!” Natsu dragged his heels and tried to loosen Gray’s grasp on his arm. He was no slouch, but this guy was just as strong.

“Take off your shirt,” Gray said calmly, once they’d reached his studio. Damn that accent!

“Excuse me? Are you mental?” Natsu might have been protesting, but his fingers were moving, deftly undoing buttons until he stood with his shirt open, debating what to do next.

“Perfect, let me go get some things,” he left the room, and Natsu could hear the tap running, followed by the sound of him rummaging through drawers not too long after.

This wasn’t at all how he’d expected their meeting to go, but he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. He’d already unbuttoned his pants and was working them down his legs when Gray returned holding art supplies, which he immediately dropped.

Oh.

Natsu could literally feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, which was perhaps the best place for it to be right then.

“Whoa! What are you doing?” Gray yelped and looked away, similarly flushed.

“Yeah, I’d like to know as well,” Natsu griped, pulling his pants back up. “First you blow me off, then you drag me in here and ask me to take off clothes.”

“So you figured I’d gone from blowing you off to wanting to blow you instead?”

Gray looked away from Natsu, his hand moving to cover his mouth, but he soon broke into loud belly laughs. “Oh my God, you are so cute. But you’re right, I didn't explain.”

Natsu stood waiting, as patiently as he was able, while Gray picked up his supplies and set them on the desk. “Well?”

“Oh, right. I have a live model project due tomorrow and my mate cancelled on me at the last minute.”

“Mate?”

Of course Gray was already taken. The guy was gorgeous. It had been stupid of him to think otherwise.

“Uhm, what do you call it here?” Gray’s forehead creased in thought, “Buddy?”

Natsu desperately wanted to ask if he was taken, but he’d already humiliated himself plenty. “So what do you need me to do exactly?”

“Not sure yet.” Gray studied him, lifting Natsu’s chin and easing his face from left to right before removing his shirt and tossing it on the desk. He asked Natsu to turn around and observed him some more until finally seeming satisfied.

“Just stand over here,” he ushered him to a spot near the window where the lighting was better, and then posed him like a figurine. Gray fixed his posture, put his hands inside his pockets, and tilted his face at a slight angle. “I guess that’ll do,” he shrugged, taking a few steps back to assess the result. “Now all you need to do is hold that pose so I can draw you for my project. Think you can do that for me?”

Natsu massaged the back of his neck, unsure of what to do. While he’d like to stay and help Gray out, everything he’d said or done since he’d arrived had only made him seem like a complete idiot. Plus, he was notoriously bad at keeping still.

“I’d tell you I’d make it worth your while but, given the pants incident, I’m a little apprehensive about what you might ask for in return.” Gray prodded with a teasing smile.

Damn that accent, and his good looks. He didn’t want to give up and go home yet. Fuck it. How much worse could he possibly make it?

“How about you never bring that up again, and we’ll call it even.”

Gray laughed, “Deal, I’ll even throw in some pizza.”

Natsu tried not to focus on Gray's closeness, or the way his skin sizzled at the subtle touches as Gray moved him back into the pose he’d wanted to draw.

“Now, don’t move,” Gray warned, settling behind his desk. He grabbed a pencil and his sketchpad and got to work.

With not much else to do, Natsu watched Gray work, noticing little patterns here and there. Things he hadn’t been able to see from his window. Like the way Gray would draw his lower lip between his teeth right before doing a bunch of erasing, or the little half-smile he’d get when he was pleased with his progress. But Natsu’s favorite by far was the way his tongue peeked out the corner of his mouth when he seemed to be in deep focus.

Soon, even that wasn’t enough to hold his interest but anytime he tried to strike up a conversation, Gray ignored him. It didn’t help that he was fucking freezing, standing there half naked, or that his phone kept vibrating in his pocket. He began to fidget.

“You’re moving again,” Gray scolded.

“How can you expect me to stay still when it’s freezing in here? What are you, some kind of ice princess?”

“Funny.” he said, giving Natsu a dirty look. “I suppose I could turn the heat up a little. I wouldn’t want your nipples to freeze off before I could draw them.”

Gray got up and stretched, leaving Natsu alone in the room while he went to adjust the thermostat. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, eager to see what all the notifications were about.

There were dozens of them.

How’s it going? 👀

Did he invite you in?

Way to go! 👍😎

You should have taken the condom I offered, 🍆💦🍑 ​🔥​😏​

Hey, you’re not answering, does that mean you’re busy?! 👀👀👀👀👀

What’s happening!!!!!

It went on and on… until he finally caught up.

Going to look for your binoculars….

Why are you standing there half naked? I see you reading…. Why aren’t you answering me?

He turned to look out the room’s window, mortified to see exactly what he’d been afraid to see: two shadows standing inside his bedroom. He had to close the blinds, but the sound of Gray’s footsteps echoed loudly in the mostly empty apartment, approaching too fast for him to make a move.

“You moved again, is there something outside?” Gray peered out the window.

“I thought I saw a light on in my room,” Natsu explained, pretending to give the matter little importance.

“Here, I made some cocoa to help warm you up. You might as well take a break.”

“Thanks,” Natsu accepted the mug gratefully, even as his phone continued to vibrate in his other hand.

“Shouldn’t you answer that?”

Natsu shook his head, “He’ll stop eventually,” he said, praying it was true. He wouldn’t put it past Sting to show up if he thought something was wrong.

“Needy ex?” Gray sat at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his own mug and studying his drawing. “Those are the worst.”

“Oh no, that’s not it,” He quickly changed the subject, realizing how embarrassing it would be to explain what was actually happening. “Can I see what you’ve done so far?”

“Sure, knock yourself out,” Gray had been about to pass him the sketchbook, when he seemed to reconsider. “On second thought, go wash the bacon grease off your hands first.”

“That’s not what it is! Do you really think I walk around with bacon grease on my hands?” Natsu protested.

“How would I know? I just met you. Anyhow, bathroom’s that way.”

Natsu put his mug down and looked at where Gray was pointing, noticing that the house had a very similar layout to his. His phone continued to vibrate, this time with an incoming call, but he waited until he’d reached the bathroom to answer.

“What?!” Natsu yelled as loudly as he dared.

“Don’t you what me, Dragneel! I was worried. You disappeared and then you weren’t answering,” Sting snapped, “We know nothing about this guy. He could be a serial killer.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yes, I know that now. Where’s your shirt?”

“I’m just posing for him for an assignment!” Natsu hissed, “His model bailed at the last minute.”

“Okay, I guess that sounds legit.”

“Thanks, Mom. Now can you please get out of my room before he sees you?” “He’s taking his shirt off!” Rogue’s voice rang through the phone. “Is that part of the assignment too?” “He’s primping in the mirror now!” Sting added excitedly, “Fixing his hair and… Oh shit.” “What?” “He, uhm... he just waved at us…”

“He what?! Gotta go, bye!” Natsu hung up, powering off the phone before they had a chance to call back.

Natsu turned on the faucet, letting the water warm up while he scrubbed his hands with hand soap. Examining his face in the mirror with a frown, he decided to go ahead and wash it before nervously returning to the studio.

Gray looked up at his approach, handing him the sketchbook without saying a word. Natsu saw that he had indeed taken his shirt off, but decided it best not to bring attention to it. He could feel him watching for his reaction to the drawing, which was much further along than he’d thought.

It was strange to see himself on paper, especially when the drawing made him look much better than he thought he did.

“Do you like it? I mean, it’s not done yet,” Gray crossed his arms over his chest and looked away.

“Like it?” Natsu puzzled, “It’s amazing! Even though you’re making me out to look much nicer than I really do.”

“What are you talking about?” Gray grabbed the sketchbook from Natsu, looking from him to the drawing. “That’s exactly what you look like to me.”

“I-,” Natsu couldn’t even begin to come up with a response to that, so he went ahead and addressed the elephant in the room. “I’m sorry about my friends.”

Gray waved away his apology, “They’re just being good friends. They probably expected you to have come home by now.”

“Yeah. They’re also a pain in the ass though.”

“You think they’re bad? Just wait til you meet my mate Erza.” Gray handed him the mug, “You should drink this before it gets cold.”

Natsu nodded, drinking the whole thing down in one gulp and setting the mug back on the desk.

“Alright, let’s get you back into your pose,” Gray stood up, following Natsu towards the window.

Fingers grazed Natsu’s cheek as Gray adjusted the tilt of his head, resting there as their eyes met. Natsu’s heart raced at the intensity of that gaze. He tried to tell himself that Gray was only studying him for the drawing, but it was hard to think when their bare chests stood so close together. Especially with the added torture of Gray’s fingers tracing their way up Natsu’s face.

“You got your hair wet. Let me fix it.”

Gray’s fingers tugged and pulled at Natsu’s hair, sending shivers of pleasure from his scalp all the way down his spine. “There you go, good as new.”

After making some final adjustments, Gray hurried back to his desk, picking up the pencil and getting back to work. He only looked up at Natsu a few times, the pencil diligently gliding across the paper as he kept adding to the drawing. At some point, he stopped to look at his work, the hint of a smile forming on his lips when he switched the pencil for what looked to be a white pen. He added some finishing touches here and there, and by the time he put the pen down, Natsu was equally relieved and disappointed.

Gray leaned back in his seat and stretched, presenting Natsu with a magnificent view of his chest and abs. It wasn’t like Natsu had never seen it before. The guy walked around his house shirtless more often than not, but he looked so much better up close than through a pair of old binoculars.

“It’s done. You can move now.”

“Oh. Right.”

Natsu took a moment to stretch as well, slowly rolling his shoulders and neck to ease some soreness out of his muscles. Once done, he made a beeline for his shirt, putting it back on and remembering to leave the two top buttons undone.

“So, what do you think?” Gray asked, handing him the sketchbook again so he could see the finished result.

Natsu was stunned. The drawing looked almost like a photograph. That white pen Gray had used towards the end had created some amazing highlights, like the glitter on Natsu’s skin and the light reflecting in his eyes, really making the artwork come to life.

The doorbell rang before he could give his answer.

“Oh good, it’s here. Hold that thought,” Gray led him to the kitchen where he grabbed his wallet from the counter before hurrying down the stairs to answer the door. Natsu continued to stare at the finished drawing with awe, having trouble accepting that this was how Gray saw him.

Soon, Gray returned, holding a large pizza box and a 2 liter of soda. “I did promise you pizza.”

Natsu watched with mixed feelings as Gray set the food on the counter, wanting to tell him he hadn’t needed to do that. That he’d had fun posing for him, but before he could do so his stomach growled in response to the smell of food wafting in the air.

“Is that... bacon?” he sniffed the air, then his hands again to make sure he wasn’t just imagining things.

“Yeah, I got you a bacon pizza considering how much you seem to love the stuff.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope,” Gray snickered, opening the pizza box and helping himself to a slice.

Natsu grabbed a paper plate, loaded it up with slices, and looked around for somewhere to sit. Finding no other furniture, he sat on the floor with his back against the cabinets. A moment later Gray joined him, handing Natsu a paper cup and placing the two liter in front of them.

“Sorry about this,” Gray said, “I have to get around to buying furniture. I had to move rather unexpectedly, so all I‘ve got right now is my desk and a bed.”

“Well, you can always come over to our place. We’ve got a pretty nice setup.” Natsu bit into his pizza, moaning at the taste and shoving more into his mouth. “This is fantastic!”

Not seeing any napkins, he used the back of his hand to wipe some of the grease off his mouth.

“You’re easy to please, aren’t you?” Gray chuckled, stretching to open a cabinet and snatch a roll of paper towels, which he offered to Natsu. “Good to know.”

Natsu ripped one from the roll and shrugged. “I like things simple.”

“Can’t argue with that. Well, I for one am glad you showed up today. You really saved my bacon,” Gray snorted, dissolving into giggles.

Natsu groaned and pushed Gray with his shoulder.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” Gray pushed back, his laughter finally subsiding. “Anyhow, what did you think of your drawing?”

“It looks amazing! You’re so talented.“ Natsu said earnestly. “Can I see some of your other work?”

“Sure, I have some on my phone,” Gray took out his phone and started fiddling with it.

“So, uhm, how come you lost the shirt?”

Gray looked up with a frown, “You’re joking, right? It’s sweltering in here.”

“Sweltering?” Natsu repeated, dumbfounded. “Oh right, Rogue mentioned you were from Isvan.”

“Rogue,” Gray’s eyes sparkled with amusement, “That’s the bloke that stole my mail, right? I thought he was checking me out.”

“Nah, he’s my roommate's boyfriend. He was just trying to get me to come introduce myself.”

“So hang on, the glitter, the hair- that was for me?”

Natsu nodded, and not wanting to see Gray’s reaction to his admission he got up and snatched two more slices of pizza from the box.

“Okay, now I have to ask. What the hell was up with the bacon thing? That was nasty!”

“Right?!” Natsu sat back down and told Gray all about Sting’s makeover attempt, finding it pretty funny now that it was over with. He was delighted to hear Gray laughing along beside him, even as he fended off his attempts to steal one of his slices.

“Oh man, that’s great! You didn’t have to go through all that. Though I gotta say, the glitter definitely sold it.”

“I’ll make sure to let him know.”

“Uhm here,” Gray handed him his phone, “Just tap the screen to go to the next one.”

Natsu wiped his hand on the paper towel before touching the screen, soon becoming lost in Gray’s art. There were some other portraits of men, and Natsu didn't like those much. It made him think Gray might have also sat with them like this. There was a striking portrait of a redhead that caught his attention. She looked intense, certainly not someone you'd want to cross.

“That’s Erza, my mate I was telling you about.”

Natsu nodded, making a mental note not to piss her off before moving on to the next one. There were lots of different styles, including a few that looked like they would be at home in some of his comic books. He commented here and there, continuing to tap the screen, unsure of what it was he was looking for until he found it. The picture of the cat he’d seen Gray draw a few days earlier.

“You like that one, huh?” Gray peeked to see which one he was looking at. “That’s a recent one.”

Natsu smiled fondly, “Yeah, it reminds me of Happy, my childhood cat. We used to do everything together. He was my best buddy.”

He told Gray some stories about Happy, leading to them both sharing silly childhood memories as they finished the rest of the pizza and half of the soda. Much too soon, it was getting dark outside, and Natsu knew their time together was ending.

“Shall I walk you back home?” Gray asked, getting up and dusting off his pants. “You know, just to make sure the glitter fairy won’t worry about you.”

Natsu wanted to decline, he lived right across the street after all, and he didn’t need anyone to protect or watch over him. He’d be fine on his own.

But... that would be stupid.

“Sure!”

“Ok, let me just grab a shirt and turn down the thermostat.” While Gray disappeared into his bedroom, Natsu washed his hands in the sink, not wanting a repeat of earlier.

Gray followed Natsu down the stairs, locking the door behind them. It took them less than a minute to reach Natsu’s front door. He’d just curled his fingers around the doorknob when Gray cleared his throat behind him, causing him to turn and face him.

“So I was thinking, if you like that cat picture, I could, uh, send it to your phone.”

“Oh, sure!” Natsu remained oblivious to what Gray was asking for a few seconds, stuck on the thought of being able to look at the picture whenever he wanted. “Wait, you want my number?”

“Sure, I have a live nude project due next week,” Gray waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Wh-aat?”

“Relax, I was just teasing,” Gray’s laughter washed over Natsu, followed by words he hadn’t expected. “I would like to see you again, though.”

Natsu could only nod and stammer as Gray handed him his phone so he could add his number. He could barely even remember it, distracted as he was by the thought that Gray wanted to see him again, but he made sure he’d plugged the right one by giving himself a call before returning it.

“Well, uhm, good night,” Natsu waved, feeling awkward and not sure what else to do. Should he shake his hand, give him a hug?

He didn’t have long to worry as Gray peered into his eyes with the same intense gaze as he’d done at the studio. Closing the small distance between them with one step, Gray leaned in slowly, tilting his head and closing his eyes as he pressed his lips to Natsu’s for a soft kiss.

It only lasted for a second, but it was enough for Natsu to feel it all the way down to his toes. Gray moved back, licking his lips and opening his eyes.

“I thought about that a lot while I was drawing,” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Oh,” Natsu mumbled, amazed he’d gotten even that much out. His brain was a jumble of inner screaming, disbelief, and just pure joy at the idea that this amazing, gorgeous guy seemed to like him as much as Natsu liked him, and oh dear god that accent. He couldn’t get enough of it.

Gray chuckled, tracing his fingers over Natsu’s cheek one last time before waving goodbye.

Natsu watched Gray walk back to his house, wanting to see him until he went inside, but he found himself being dragged into his house and grabbed by the hands. Next thing he knew he was bouncing up and down with a screeching Sting and an only slightly less enthusiastic Rogue.

Thankfully Rogue kept Sting from carrying Natsu piggyback up the stairs in a victory lap.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he stopped celebrating long enough to check it.

As promised, Gray had sent the cat picture, along with a text.

Sweet dreams 🥓boy 😉

Rolling his eyes at the bacon reference, Natsu typed a reply, thrilled to know his famine was finally at an end.

A/N: We really hope you enjoyed this story at least half as much as we enjoyed writing it. This might be our favorite Natsu, Sting and Rogue combo we’ve ever written. It’s entirely possible we might visit them again someday.

[snarkwrites]

21.12 - Deck The Halls, opie winston

Title: Deck The Halls Theme: Tree / Decoration Fandom / Character(s): Opie Winston & OFC, Hazel Morrow - Sons of Anarchy Warnings: Angst and awkwardness, mentions of a black eye, pregnancy... That’s p. much it. Word Count: 2k, roughly. And we’re just 3 days out from Christmas Eve now, guys? Can you believe it? It’s been one hell of a year and I know that personally, I will be glad to put 2020 behind me. I pray that 2021 is so much kinder to us all. In the spirit of kindness and gifts, here’s mine for @champbucks​ 12 Days Of Christmas challenge, which in case you’ve missed it, I’ve been participating in. Hazel Morrow is my own personal creation from the Sons of Anarchy universe and while I’ve never actually /written a fic/ using her, I have written about her on the blog here in the past. Anyway, enough rambling! Enjoy!!

BTW. I made the banner. No reposting/stealing/reusing.

TAGGING:

@kyleoreillysknee @chasingeverybreakingwave​ @sassymox are the names I have down for my SOA taglist. If you’d like to be added, shoot me a dm/ask on my main @snarkandsarcasmftw​ or click on the link to the doc below and add yourself!!

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

The sound of the door being nearly beaten down had my heart pounding for a second or two. I sat up in bed, frozen. The knocking got louder. I don’t think I really relaxed until I heard Opie call through, “Haze, you up, darlin?”

My brow raised, especially when I caught sight of the time glancing at my cell phone. It was a little after midnight. And as far as I knew, the guys had all gone off on a run earlier. Normally, a run lasted at least a day or two.

Opie knocked again and it spurred me to movement. I slipped out of bed and pulled on an oversized plaid shirt over the thin little gown I’d been wearing to sleep in. Rubbing my eyes and yawning, I made my way down the hallway. 

“Opie, everything okay?” I yawned out the question as I opened the door to my apartment and stepped aside to let him come in.

And he came in alright, but he was dragging a massive Christmas tree.

I bit my lip, eyeing it and then him. I flinched as I felt the fluttering kick in my abdomen and my hand moved down, resting on my stomach. “I knew eggs ranchero at the diner was not a good idea.” I gave a sheepish laugh. Opie chuckled quietly and after propping the tree against a wall, he rubbed his hand over his head.

“Mom said you guys went out earlier. On a run.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything real big.” Opie shrugged. “Jax’s idea.” he nodded to the tree currently occupying the wall next to my apartment door and I gave a soft laugh, nodding. “Yeah, he had a bug up his ass when he was over here two nights ago helping me fix the sink. Said that it’s going to be his niece’s first Christmas, she needed a tree and decorations.”

I didn’t dare ask anything further. While I may be trying to reconnect with the family I’d distanced from years before because of their life choices, I still operated on the firm belief that the less I knew, the better off  I was.

One of us stepped just a little closer. The baby kicked again and I gave a soft giggle, the sound dying away on my lips as I looked up and locked eyes with Opie. Already staring down at me with this intent look in his eyes. And that heavy tension filled the air all over again. Just like it’s done every single time Opie and I have a run in.

I eyed the tree again, just to keep myself from stepping even closer to him. I could see the beginnings of a black eye in the dim overhead lighting and I winced a little, raising my fingertips gingerly to touch the area. Opie grumbled and I was about to quickly snatch my hand away, but he caught hold of my wrist and held my fingers where they’d been gingerly resting against his face.

 “Jax didn’t bring the tree over himself.” I muttered, mostly to myself, mostly just to have something to say to shatter the tension filled silence between Opie and I at the moment.

He still hadn’t let go of my wrist so I could move my hand, so I didn’t bother trying to do it myself. Opie stepped a little closer and chuckled quietly, shaking his head. His next words shocked me just a little.

“Actually, I offered.”

“You did, huh?” I tilted my head slightly, smiling up at him a little.

Opie chuckled again and when I felt his hand settle on my hip and give a light squeeze, I took a shaky breath or two. “Why’s that such a surprise, huh? We used to be best friends, Haze.”

,, and I also used to be head over heels in love with you. And I still am... If only you had a clue, Opie.” the thought reared it’s head and I shoved it out, correcting him quietly. “We still are.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Opie hadn’t ever been the kind of guy to pull punches.I’d known that at some point, he was going to confront me. However, I didn’t expect it to be at a little after 1 am, in the middle of my living room.

I sighed quietly. “I just.. I wanted to give you space.”

Opie nodded. We were back to the heavy silence again. And we kept drifting closer to each other. The closer we drifted, the more I wanted to grab hold of the front of his cutte and pull his mouth down against mine. To finally kiss him. Finally lay it all out there. Because the biggest reason I’ve been avoiding him since I moved back here?

Because seeing him again. Being close to him again.. It brought everything right back. Stronger this time, because I could see he was hurting and it made me hurt for him. It made me want to be the one comforting him. And it scared the hell out of me because the whole reason I’ve never acted on how I feel towards him is because I’ve always told myself that I can’t be with one of the guys in the MC. I couldn’t…Especially not Opie, not as much as I loved him. If something were to happen to him, I didn’t know what I’d do.

,, but you’re miserable keeping it to yourself. And keeping such a distance that you can’t even be in the same room with him is only making it worse because he’s your best friend and you miss that. You need that right now.” 

“I don’t recall askin for space, darlin.” Opie’s voice was husky. The way he said it had me looking up from where I’d been distractedly staring down at his cutte and trailing my fingertips over the stitching in the leather to meet his gaze. I swallowed hard and nodded. For once I was at a loss for words. Because I didn’t want to give him space either, but at the same time, that old fear still ruled me. “I just want my friend back.”

I nodded again. “I’m sorry.”

He chuckled quietly, giving me a tight but careful hug. “It’s okay. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t mad or something.”

Some of the tension dissolved, but not all of it. No, the air was still thick, heavy with words I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to say. He reached up above us and pulled the string to the overhead light to make it brighter and nodded to the tree. “I’m here… Let’s see if we can’t get this fucking thing up.”

“I hope it fits. The ceiling’s real low and that tree looks like it’s a fucking giant.” I laughed softly, making my way into the little kitchen area to grab some scissors or a knife, something to cut the plastic webbing that bound the tree and kept it compressed. After a little digging I found some scissors and walked back into the living room. Right at the exact time that Opie was walking towards the kitchen where I’d been.

We found ourselves body to body again and I stared up at him a second or two. He nodded to the fully extended tree and brandished a pocketknife. “Always have it on me.”

“Yeah. Hey, wait. That’s the knife I got you for your birthday.”

Opie chuckled quietly and nodded. We turned our attention to the tree for a few seconds and I let out a shaky laugh. “He had to get the fullest damn tree for this tiny space.”

“He wouldn’t be Jax if he didn’t.” Opie laughed and shook his head. Neither of us had moved yet. He was staring down at me again, the look in his eyes like he wanted to say something. Then he was leaning in. His lips brushed mine lightly and I couldn’t stop the quiet whimper that came as my eyes fluttered open and closed. “Haze?”

“Mhm?” I hummed out the word, my mouth brushing right against his all over again. We were too close now. I had hardly any willpower left to fight off the overwhelming desire to close the distance between our mouths. Obviously, he didn’t either, because one of his hands raised, tangling in my hair and resting across the back of my neck to pull my mouth completely against his. My hand went from resting palm down against the leather vest to clutching at it as I rose to tiptoe. His free arm wrapped around my waist to keep me from losing my balance and our noses bumped clumsily as his tongue trailed the outline of my mouth. “I can find some ornaments tomorrow… We can decorate it.” he half mumbled against my mouth as I answered quietly, “Yeah.” laughing softly into the kiss. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip and the kiss broke, both of us pulling away, breathless.

“Opie…”

“ Yeah, Haze?”

“The reason I’ve been keeping my distance is because I can’t just.. I can’t go back to just being friends with you. I..” I trailed off, fidgeting under his intent gaze before eventually dropping mine to stare down at my chipping toenail polish.

Opie tilted my chin and smirked down at me quietly. “I don’t want to be friends. Did you miss that whole kiss just now or somethin, darlin?”

My breath caught in my throat and I blinked. 

“I want you, Haze.”

I melted against him and muttered quietly, “I want you too. I… we just have to take this slow, okay?”

“I waited this long, didn’t I, darlin?”

“Yeah… I mean, I guess you did.”

Opie pulled me against him and laughed against the crown of my hair quietly, “It’s real cute how oblivious you are sometimes, Haze.”

I pouted up at him and he chuckled again. “You need your rest. I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”

“Be careful going home, please?” I walked him to the door of my apartment and pressed against him, putting his back against the door as I pulled his mouth down against mine all over again, giving him a deep and slow kiss. His hands moved over my sides and as the kiss broke, he reached out, resting his thumb against my lip. “Night, Haze.”

“Night, Opie.” I shut the door behind him and leaned against it to catch my breath and attempt to process after I’d locked all three of the locks. When my eyes settled on that damn giant of a tree, I burst into laughter and shook my head.

Maybe having a meddling older brother isn’t a bad thing. Maybe his meddling was what was needed tonight. I felt more free than I’ve felt in years, finally having everything out in the open. A soft and lazy smile formed on my face as I replayed what happened over again in my head.

And I found myself excited for tomorrow.. And any day to come after that.

[rosethornewrites]

T and G rated fics I read this weekend!

This is all The Untamed/MDZS fics.

So I learned last week that I can only add 100 links. And I read over 100 fics 😬 so now this is gonna be two posts. Additionally, I’ll likely start posting these daily from now on. It just gets to be a lot.

Finished:

Tumblr Fics:

BEETOBER 2021 DAY 2 - EARRING, by @bloody-bee-tea

Rated T:

find a home in him, by makebelieveanything and nerdzeword

“Come on a-Cheng, let’s go,” she prodded, gently ushering him out the door as she handed off jackets to both boys.

“Why the fuck is he always doing stupid shit and making us run after him for?” Jiang Cheng complained as he shrugged into his jacket, Lan Wangji donning his own in silence.

“Wangji?” Yanli prodded gently. “Are you alright?”

“... what if we never find him?”

“We will,” Yanli said confidently.

or Modern AU where Wei Wuxian runs away from his foster home when he turns 18, and it doesn't end the way he planned.

My Brother's Keeper - Purple Years (The first stage of grief), by ArchiveWriter

Set after WWX plunges from the cliff after the battle at Nightless City. The ramblings of Jiang Cheng's mind in the first stage of grief, flicking back and forth between the past and then.

thank you, drunk me, by carmiemaybe (glazedlilies)

Or where Lan Zhan is confused at Wei Ying's behaviour after the previous, drunken night's events.

This Grave Will Not Be Mine, by Rana Eros (ranalore)

The Burial Mounds' claim to Wei Wuxian has been superceded.

Qinghe Jue, by Merinnan

Nie Mingjue promised to protect his brother. He wasn't going to let qi deviating and dying at Jinlintai stop him from keeping that promise.

With What Proof, by Preludian_Staves

"I know he did it!"

"What proof do you have?"

Meeting the Family, by sami (part of a series)

Wei Wuxian has a secret.

I’ll stick to my single-log bridge till it’s dark, by autumncolour

Can’t anyone give me a nice, favorable road to walk on?

Lan Wangji leaves the Burial Mounds. Wei Wuxian gets drunk. The night in Yiling is clear and dark, and full of thick, half-understood longing.

Love Me on the Sunlit Grass, by Eliza (second in a series)

Zizhen will always be there when Jin Ling calls in a panic about his uncle.

the mutability of survival, by tunnelOFdawn

All the ways Lan Zhan, Wei Ying, and Jiang Cheng could have died in canon.

i'll keep walking, by justdoityoufucker

Wen Qing died.

This, she knows; from the painful lick of flames to the unavoidable choking that came with the smoke to the wickedly satisfied grin on Jin Guangshan’s face before she closed her eyes the last time. She hoped, those last few moments, that it would be the end. Wei Wuxian would be free, and the last remnants of their family would be safe. She hoped that Wen Ning wouldn’t feel any pain, when the time came for him to follow her.

-

Or, the one where Wen Qing ends up in the past and fixes the future.

Rated G:

天涯之外 / beyond the world's end, by yuer (vintageblueskies)

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says, his voice cracks open in a way Wei Wuxian has never heard before. He crosses over to where Wei Wuxian is still sitting; Wei Wuxian starts to scramble up, but Lan Wangji just shakes his head, gets to his knees next to him. And isn't that something? The untouchable Hanguang-jun on his knees in the Burial Mounds, dirtying his pristine robes to sit next to Wei Wuxian.

-

or, lan wangji returns to the burial mounds

Song of My Heart, Mate of My Soul, by SakuraKage

The Gusu Lan are said to have an innate connection with music. The Gusu Lan are also said to love deeply – with their whole soul – so deeply that they seem to only be able to fall in love once.

Lan Wangji knows these rumours. He also knows the truth, or close to it, as it has been handed down through the generations. Their connection to music runs far deeper than the other sects could dream. Every Lan heart contains a song, a musical piece that encapsulates the very fiber of their being, and it only comes to life under a specific set of circumstances. The parameters to unlock your heartsong are highly disputed, but the generally accepted condition to fill is … to meet your soulmate.

see your face, hear my voice in the dark, by arypls

Wei Wuxian is having trouble falling asleep but Lan Wangji is there with gentle words and soothing touches to show his husband he's no longer alone.

If I knew what safety looked like, by askanis

Beautiful, brave Wei Ying is waiting for Lan Zhan to tell her she cannot be all of who she is. She will listen, if Lan Zhan says this. If Lan Zhan even looks uncomfortable, Wei Ying will take this back and never mention it again. Will pretend that this is not her truth, perhaps until she believes it herself.

And Lan Zhan will never get to fully see Wei Ying for who Wei Ying is.

underneath the magnolias, by krizzlesandblues

Summer in Cloud Recesses means iced fruits sent by merchants, more practical trainings for juniors, with some of them catching up on their lessons.

But for the youngest members of GusuLan Sect, summer means classes under the big magnolia tree.

Word Up, Talk the Talk, by Larryissocute

It wouldn’t have been a problem (it really wouldn’t) if they weren’t best friends. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what good deeds he did in his past life to be blessed with Lan Wangji as a friend nor does he know what evil things he did to be cursed with being only a friend to Lan Wangji.

Or the one where Wei Wuxian kisses Lan Wangji and then runs away.

Hai Shi — Sleeping Hours, by Saint Er (wwxsays_er)

It's right before bedtime, when a drunk Wei Wuxian shows up on Lan Wangji's door, and suddenly, this has now become Lan Wangji's problem.

In the Silence, by XianleDianxia

With his husband and son on a night hunt, Wei Wuxian is left to his own thoughts. His temperament is not as calm as Lan Wangji would like it to be.

intervention (how to convince your very gay brother that he, is in fact, gay), by okok29

"You guys hold hands all the time around campus and he takes you out to brunch every Saturday. He even brings you roses," Jiang Cheng emphasizes.

"Yeah, as bros do!" Wei Ying says cheerfully.

jiang cheng tries to forcibly drag wei ying out of the closet.

No Regrets, by Sarehz

Lan Zhan gives his forehead ribbon to Wei Wuxian as a sign of his love.

Look Down to Reminisce About My Hometown, by Nadat (one-shot series)

A collection of short stories following a Promptember list; will add tags and alter the rating as appropriate. It will be mostly live action show canon but I may borrow here and there from the book if something strikes me.

jin ling's uncles and aunts, by saheeli

jin zixuan invites all of jin ling's uncles and aunts to his birthday party. there are more than he even thought possible.

Helianthus, by tinykira

"Say, Lan Zhan. Do you know that when people die, they become plants?"

~

The Jingshi, which was formerly called as The Gentian House, is now also full of sunflowers.

Magical Marriage Ribbons, by starandrea

But consider this: the Lan forehead ribbons are magical, and the mountain knows it. (It takes Wei Ying less than a day after Lan Yi’s cave to realize more than just her wards consider him family.)

Or: If you’re accidentally betrothed to your classmate in a mostly legitimate life or death situation, how long can you wait to tell him before he finds out by accident?

their mothers sons, by silversshadow

In one world Jiang Fengmian gave Wei Ying more attention than he did either of his own children. In this world he can barely look at the child.

A series of short looks into a different timeline.

You blow me away, by silverclaw

Lan Zhan’s neighbour is playing a song that has been stuck in his head for ages. The neighbour just so happens to be the singer of said song and he’s supposedly laying low.

Echo Of My Heart, by ColdBloodedReptile

A short insight of Lan Wangji's thoughts during Dafan Mountain, CQL version.

And the scene in Jingshi before Wei Wuxian wakes ft Lan Sizhui.

A new score, by Lhaewiel

Wei Wuxian does not know this new score. It is evening, Gusu looks like a painting during this time of the year, with snow slowly falling down and covering the court outside.

Parallel Lines, by Sarehz

Wei Ying: Lan Zhan is going to break up with me!

Nie Huaisang: No, he's not. But please tell me in great detail why you think that.

Jiang Cheng: [Unfortunately sharing an apartment with Nie Huaisang and therefore has no choice but to listen] Please leave me out of this.

Why Wei Ying Shouldn’t Matchmake, by PrinceJakeFireCake

Lan Wangji is NOT jealous of Jiang Cheng. He’s just trying to figure out why Wei Ying likes him so much. Wei Ying thinks it’s great that Lan Zhan has a crush on his brother. (Hint: he does not)

to home, by Guinny (4 chapters)

'My Wei Ying,

It seems that we are winning the war. Wait for me. I will come home. I will come home to you. We will spend the rest of our lives in peace. Far from all of this. In a place that is quiet and there's only us.

Yours,

Lan Zhan.’

if you love him, never let go, by cloud_wanderer

three times lan wangji let go, and the one time he swore to never do it again

Hard to forget, by Lucky_Moonly

“Aiya sorry for interrupting what must be a very interesting read,” a boy who seemed to be a first year as well, cheekily exclaimed, before he smiled widely at Lan Wangji and he stepped inside the compartment. “But did you perchance see my pet axolotl? He’s black and he’s missing one of his front legs!”

in sickness & in flames, by talesfromthecryptid (2 chapters)

the one in which lan wangji has a cold and wei wuxian fusses over him and falls even more in love with him, something he didn't even know was possible but oh, it really is.

learning and the dead, by northofallmusic (tofsla)

In a small house of his own, after everything, Wen Ning works with his hands.

Unpredictable, by canis_m

If Lan Wangji had said a few more things while drunk in Qinghe.

Waited For Precious Moments Such As This, by Preludian_Staves

He would not trade these precious moments away for anything in the world.

Unfinished:

Rated T:

No Regrets, by AluraRose

Lan Wangji took a deep breath, centered himself, and swallowed his pride.

“I apologize.” He bowed low to Jiang Wanyin and held it. “I wish only to help your brother. I humbly request access, and give my word that I will touch nothing and speak to no one of what I see.”

“I can’t just let you in there!”

“Even to save Wei Ying?”

And suddenly the wind seemed to go out of the sails of Jiang Wanyin’s anger. “I can’t” he repeated more quietly.

In order to save Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji must first convince Jiang Wanyin to trust him.

Your Name On My Chest, by Director_XuanWu

Lan Wangji is the president, at the beginning of his second year on his first term.

Wei Wuxian, his ex fiancé, was dishonorably discharged from the military because of a well hidden scandal.

They meet again after 13 years. Lan Wangji will drop everything for him. Wei Wuxian will sacrifice himself for him again. What does it take to finally be together? Too many goodbyes, too many heartaches. Yet they conquer all.

Whatever it takes, by Moonlit_dewdrops

Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian are sent back to the past. This time, they can save everyone they love. They can make the right choices. They can learn to trust one another. However, everything comes with a price.

underneath your skin, by tardigradeschool

Wei Wuxian falls into the Burial Mounds. His body walks out.

White Flames in a Red Sky, by ZipZapZop

Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to run away in the middle of a snowstorm.

OR

Wei Wuxian needs help, but he can’t understand that for the life of him.

and so it goes, by doyeorem (pomellogranate)

"While a person is dead in one particular moment, they are still alive and well in all of the other moments of their life, because all of time exists at once."

-

In which Hanguang-jun is at Qiongqi Path, and instead of Jin Zixuan's death, he witnesses Wei Ying throw himself in the way of a punch from the Ghost General, and three swords - one of which is Bichen.

The Burial Mounds is enraged and offended, and many suffer for it.

Purgatory Divinity, by sinfulempire

"Your third and final mission is to rewrite history, Wei Wuxian."

In which Wei Wuxian, the son of the Heavenly Demon Empress, Cangse Sanren and the Celestial, Wei Changze has to rewrite history in order to prove himself worthy of the throne, however, this was a mission that he did not sign himself up for.

[WARNING!! WARNING!! System error, system erro-]

"What-"

Upon accepting the mission, Wei Wuxian found himself back in the past. He had returned to his 6 year old body accompanied by the system at the dingy streets of Yiling- far before Jiang Fengmian had found him and took him in.

Wei Wuxian was alone and surrounded by numerous hound dogs.

Rated G:

Coil Tightly, by Thunderstruck (Blueyed_Impala)

When Wei Wuxian stumbles across a shady pet store in the back alley of his new town he ends up leaving with a companion for life, and more than he bargained for.

Forced apologies, by Io_Palladium

Jiang Cheng confronts Lan Zhan after Wei Yings punishment and it changes everything.

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 6: I try to sing along but I get it all wrong (‘CAUSE I’M NOT)

I don’t have as much to say about the lead-in to Hail to the Thief, much like I didn’t have much to say about that for Amnesiac. There isn’t as earth-shattering a shift as Kid A, and there isn’t a big story like with The Bends or OK Computer.

Hail to the Thief was (probably) the first batch of music Radiohead recorded after the sessions that produced Kid A/Amnesiac, meaning they had the full breadth of that experience to work with. What we received as a result was somewhat of a fusion of the electronic/jazz-influences of those albums and the rockier stuff of the band’s past.

Now I’ve heard a fair few complaints that this album is too long. That’s probably fair, it’s their longest album, with a total of 14 tracks, meaning it does kinda drag on a bit. Thom Yorke apparently agrees, seeing as he put out an alternative tracklist in ’08 (link) missing four songs. At the same time, I’m going to pull Death of the Author on this one, because as much as I’ve seen people complain that there’s too many songs on this, nobody ever seems to get along with which ones they’d cut- let alone people wanting to pull B-sides in the mix.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves there, aren’t we? Suppose I should just talk about the fucking album.

We begin this record, like all Radiohead records, with studio chatter. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah, it’s quiet but it’s there. Why not, right?

2+2=5 is a lovely little banger to open on. Unquestionably a rock song, it features a very slow and quiet (and heavily panned) first half before just fucking exploding in the latter half. It genuinely might be the most aggressive track the band has put out, a manic cascade of energy and breathy falsetto that’s genuinely headbangable. It’s also a fun thing to try and read the lyrics for, since the booklet the album comes with gives up for this bit and just goes “eezeepeezee NOT” or something along that line.

Oh yeah, that’s actually something worth bringing up. Neither Kid A nor Amnesiac had lyric booklets, deliberately obscuring the actual words to the songs, to the point where people had pretty wide interpretations of what they actually were. Considering the incompleteness of 2+2=5’s entry in it’s booklet, perhaps similar occurred with that. I’m still unsure if the subtitle of this post is actually the real lyrics.

Most people, I think, read the name of this track and just kind of assume it’s about 1984, the book boomers bring up whenever their freedumbs are impinged upon. And it’s not not about 1984, but there are extremely specific political references as well- Hail to the Thief, title of the album and line in the track, is a quote regarding the U.S. President of the time, George W Bush, who lost the popular vote but won the electoral college- something that sounds awfully familiar to those of us living in 2021. “January has April Showers” similarly refers to the unseasonable weather of Bush’s inauguration.

The last thing I’d like to bring up before we finally move onto the second track is that every single song in this album has a subtitle- for 2+2=5, it’s (The Lukewarm). According to Yorke, it’s a reference to Dante’s Inferno- the Lukewarm being the people around the edge of hell, damned due to their passive indifference- the kind of people the song’s lyric, “you have not been paying attention”, is referring to. I’m literally learning these meanings now, so we’ll see how many are worth bringing up.

Perhaps fortunately for my word count, Sit Down. Stand Up (yes the full stop/period is part of the title) (that’s not the subtitle) doesn’t have quite as much going on. Though it does have a video, for some reason. It’s a sort of repetitive trance of lyrics set to an electronic percussion, distant piano, and….I don’t know what other instrument is making those light dings. A xylophone? Interestingly, much like 2+2=5, it’s one that builds slowly into a chaotic finish, the raving of that track reflected in the almost cold mania of the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops……. It’s a decent enough song, but I legitimately cannot imagine listening to it ever outside the context of this album. Which is weird, because I definitely remember doing so when I was younger.

Track 3 is Sail To The Moon, a lullaby or ballad or sorts, a calm after the storm that is the previous track. Quite literally, considering it’s repeated lyric. And also literally, in that it was actually written for Thom’s son at the time. The subtitle, (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky) evokes a very literal interpretation of the song’s title, which doesn’t actually reflect the lyrics.

Sail To The Moon is, as any good lullaby should be, utterly soothing. It’s calm, with Thom’s vocals just drifting across the piano, loose guitar, and percussion like a low tide. This is one of those songs I’ve come around to much more with time, because I distinctly remember skipping this a lot. You’ll find I’ve listened to this album a fair few times, though the section between 2+2=5 and Go To Sleep is one I skipped a fair bit, I think.

Backdrifts is a heavily electronic song that apparently in part predates Kid A and Amnesiac, which is kind of interesting- we’ll see a bit more of that later. As a track, it’s kind of spacy- the synth instrumental feels like something out of an eerie sci-fi film, if you notched the tempo up a bit.

Backdrifts is also the first song where I can see the “too long” argument come in. Not for the album (though I believe it’s one of the ones the alternate tracklist leaves out), but the song itself- I’m not sure this is a song that needs to be the second longest on the album (and only by a second). It’s fine, but considering what it comes off and what follows it, it’s in a bit of an awkward spot.

Go To Sleep is another one that kinda took me a while to get. I always heard it as being one of the top tracks on the thing, but it never really clicked with me for a while. I suppose I’ve never been massive on purely acoustic-guitar-led affairs? With age, though, I’ve better appreciated the depth the song has. Possibly the folkiest song the band has, it might have taken me getting into R.E.M. to recognize what the song is.

And the song is good!

But unfortunately for Go To Sleep, Where I End and You Begin is my favourite Radiohead track.

Holy shit, this song sounds so fucking sick. That percussion, that bassline, those fucking Ondes Martenot babyyyy. The song is spacey and ethereal, but tied down by the more traditional elements of the instrumentation. The fantastical lyricism tying into very real themes of personal boundaries, how they define how people interact, and how when they fail, things tend to go badly- “There’ll be no more lies, I will eat you alive”. It’s just an absolute fucking track.

I don’t think I can possibly explain why I like this song so much. Opinions and favourites are kind of like that. But it just speaks to me. The hyper-fuzzed out guitar soloing in the bridge, the loneliness of the second verse, it’s just incredible.

Also it possibly references Optimistic with the lyrics which is cool! I also like that song a lot.

The subtitle, (The Sky Is Falling In), is something I’ve not been able to find a reference for regarding it’s meaning, but since I like the song so much, I’m going to do some interpreting. If we assume the song is about boundaries in a relationship, it’s clear that the final lyrics are the utter devastation after those boundaries are breached. But “The Sky Is Falling In” fits better with the third verse, what with the house falling into the sea- the tipping point has broken, the household (or, the house) is in freefall, the sky is falling with it. But that’s just my opinion, man.

Still with me? We’re not even halfway.

We Suck Young Blood can best be described as off-kilter, perhaps even deliberately out of tempo. A very pointed use of handclaps, typically a part of substantially more energetic tracks than the dirge this song presents. I’m sure this isn’t what the song is about, but at face value the lyrics read like some sort of social service run by vampires- give us your young blood, and we’ll make things better for you. In a way, it’s kind of fun, silly even. I suppose the claps help with that. The track is otherwise just, melancholic- slow, piano-y, even the sudden pickup barely lasts- though I always forget it’s there, making it kind of a surprise every time. Like, oh shit, we’re going somewhere for a bit, I need to put my seatbelt back on- ah never mind it’s over (and then the song keeps going for a while).

We come now to The Gloaming, the song that was originally going to be the title track for the album. They changed it, apparently, because it got rejected- too gloomy, apparently. According to Wikipedia, a fair few of the subtitles from the album’s tracks also came from proposed names for the album proper.

The song itself is also pretty gloomy, as it happens. Apparently, it’s literally about the rise of fascism, so fair enough. An electronic track, with many a repetition, feeling uneasy and cold the whole way through (making the subtitle, Softly Open our Mouths in the Cold, pretty apt). It feels almost minimalistic at times, without especially many lines running through it- and without a big crescendo like many to most of these songs have, it feels somewhat lifeless- a deliberate choice, no doubt.

Oh shit, are we up to There There? We are! God this song fucks. Those opening drums are iconic, not to mention the way it layers onto itself. And the video! Eerie horror at its finest.

Like, I know Where I End and You Begin is my favourite song on this album unquestionably. But there is no doubt in my mind that There There is the best song on the album.

Good enough that I don’t have anything really interesting to say about it? Like many songs on this album, it’s got a big old crescendo, but the build is just so smooth, and the climax is just such a swelling. “We are accidents waiting to happen” is such a powerful lyric, and it’s hardly the only one on the song. A comment I’ve seen about the song describes the guitar as akin to laughter, a mood I can definitely see in the track itself.

Anyway the song ended so I guess I gotta move on.

I Will is kind of an interesting case. It’s unquestionably one of the most emotional songs on the album, considering it was written about a U.S. bombing of a shelter that wiped out 408 innocent people, and that’s fucking horrifying (S.O.P. for the Army it seems). It’s short, and…well it’s not sweet, but it is tragic and haunting.

It’s also a song that went through variation on variation before finally appearing on this album. Early live performances date to 5 whole years before Hail to the Thief, and considering the bombing was in 1991, it was probably written well before then. Versions of this track are kind of everywhere as a result- one early version was eventually chopped up and reproduced into Like Spinning Plates on Amnesiac- reconstructions of the process are available on citizeninsane.eu- or they were, at least, because apparently that site’s embeds relied on Flash.

I do particularly want to highlight the Los Angeles version of the song, which was a b-side on 2+2=5 (and also was on the Com Lag EP), because it’s a fuller version of the track- not necessarily better, but the full band is involved, making it a much different experience.

Track 11, A Punchup At A Wedding, has become somewhat of a meme on the Radiohead subreddit. Mostly it’s a result of the opening lyric, literally “No” 42 times over. The subtitle, for reference, is also all “No”s. On a similarly lighter note, the track is apparently a result of the band stumbling upon just a needlessly scathing review of one of their live shows, making it one of the few Radiohead tracks I could confidently say is about one person in particular. With all the second person, the lyrics probably wouldn’t be out of place on an early Linkin Park track (whether that’s an insult or not, I’ll leave as an exercise to the reader).

The slow, almost marchlike rhythm of the song well suits the tone of the lyrics, and to be clear, the tone is pretty much “Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” and the emotions that come with being torn down by someone who doesn’t know you or really recognise what they’re doing. I suppose it’s refreshing for the metaphor to be this obvious for once. It’s a pretty decent song, piano-driven like many a song on the album, which means theoretically if I ever relearn the instrument I could play it. Maybe.

Myxomatosis, while a pretty fucked up disease, is an absolutely excellent song. If 2+2=5 is the heaviest rock song on the album, Myxomatosis is the heaviest electronic song on it. The lyricism is incredibly dark, unsettling and violent, suiting the harsh buzzing synth line. They say fuck in this one! And the way the entire song save percussion drops for the key line (I don’t know why I feel so tongue-tied/skinned alive) is so excellent. Interestingly, said line also appears word-for-word in Cuttooth, a B-side from Amnesiac, though the mood is profoundly different.

I suspect the song being named Myxomatosis and being pretty clearly about public perception and fame should give you a hint as to how the band views the media and the world of the rich and famous- the subtitle, (Judge, Jury, & Executioner), certainly adds to that. Thom sounds a mix of hesitant, confused, disgusted, and frustrated on the track, and it works incredibly well.

We’re finally on to the penultimate track, Scatterbrain. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what this one’s about. I’m out of patience to figure out what Genius is going on about, though it’s fairly incomplete for this track anyway. It’s relatively simple, for a Radiohead track, and pretty enough, but I can see why people don’t tend to like this one as much. I distinctly remember it being bottom of the list or close to it on a subreddit poll at some point (might have been above We Suck Young Blood, which I don’t agree with).

Scatterbrain kind of just has the problem of being a pretty decent album track, right between two of my favourite songs on the album. Which is awkward as always.

Our final song is A Wolf at the Door, and talk about a closer. Thom has described it as like waking up from a nightmare and finding out reality is worse, which is both relatable and upsetting. The song is grim, with confusing imagery in the verses leading to a desperately emotional chorus about someone’s children being fucking ransomed. Also, a bridge with more Nos than A Punchup at a Wedding, where are your No (x105) memes Reddit, get it fucking together!

The lyrics of the verses in A Wolf at the Door have a swaying flow to them that’s almost rap-like, especially since the falsetto that Thom usually sings in around this time is completely absent from them. This makes it one of the few rap-ish songs I’ve actually tried to perform, and I’d probably be pretty okay if I didn’t keep forgetting bits.

The song is just, frustration (verse 1), desperation (chorus), anger/frustration (verse 2), and back to desperation (chorus) again, which doesn’t quite fit the stages of grief cleanly, but that’s probably fine. The final vocalisation of the song (and thereby the album) feels almost like a sorrowful howl, which makes less sense the more I think about the imagery and intent of the lyrics, so maybe just ignore that actually. There is just so much imagery packed into this track, especially in the second verse, that listing it out is pointless- but it all just clicks so well, into this deluge of frustration and madness carried along by that instrumental that just seems to get lower and lower forever.

Anyway that’s the whole album, isn’t it? I’m going to keep this outro brief, because we’re approaching 3000 words at this point, but I think that fact says it all. There’s a lot of Hail to the Thief, but it never really misses per se. It has less great songs, but no bad ones. I’d argue my own biases probably cloud my judgement, but even if some of the tracks are more forgettable, the highs are so high for me that it easily stands among the band’s best.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me. But that’s fine, this is my opinion, the rest of the world is allowed to be wrong.

A lot of things would happen between Hail to the Thief’s release in 2003 and the followup, In Rainbows, in 2007. But that’s ultimately a story for another day. A week from today, to be precise.

See you then?