#yeah sorry I made this decision on Saturday when it was a lot quieter

[thevalicemultiverse]

OOC: Sorry For The Surprise Disappearance

Basically, what happened is that this blog is one of the ones that got the new "Twitter-fied" dash update, and I dislike the look of it enough that I basically ran away from it for a few days (after letting tumblr know that I thought it was "ew") while I searched for a better way to have both this blog and my other tumblr, Victor Luvs Alice, open at the same time than using a "private browsing" window for this blog that doesn't have any of my browser extensions. (Yes, this is something you can do with Firefox -- it worked until tumblr changed the dash!) I think I'm just gonna have to suck it up and start logging in and out between tumblrs normally, as I definitely need XKit Rewritten to deal with this, so hopefully I shall be back to normal tomorrow! I apologize for not making a post like this earlier to explain things, and if I worried people with my absence. It was nothing anyone did, just tumblr making bad design choices. *sigh*

[kpop---scenarios]

Into The Night (2)

Pairing: Kai x Reader 

Warnings: Unprotected Smut, Angst, 

Word Count: 6.9k 

A/N: I'm sorry!!

As the rain pours down, it soaks you but you have a hard time finding the urge to care. You watch the staircase from in front of your car, waiting for the man you love, the man you hoped loved you enough to come chase after you. You desperately wanted him to tell you that you were enough for him and that he had enough of the business that was taking so much from him. 

But he never came. 

A part of you must have known he wouldn't give it up, not for you. It wasn't as though you were anything special anyway. You were you, and he was a god, someone who deserved more than just you. 

You closed your eyes and for a moment imagined what it would have been like had he chased you. Kai running down the stairs, into the rain to take you in his arms and tell you how much he loved you and needed you, that you were first, that you were enough. 

But instead, you got into your car soaked and cried hard while driving to your apartment. Maybe he didn't love you as much as you thought he did. Maybe you truly weren't enough for him. 

Day by day, you stared at your phone, reading the last text he had sent you before you left. It was the last time he had typed out the words you wished you could hear from his lips right now, even if you don't deserve them.

"I love you." 

You can still hear the faint whispers of him saying the words in your head, but as time goes on the whispers get quieter and quieter, slowly fading away. 

**

Every week something changed, for the better, and you noticed yourself becoming yourself again. You stopped agonizing over the fact that he hadn't texted you, then you stopped caring that he hadn't called you. If he had been the man you thought he was, he would have reached out, maybe tried to explain himself. But he didn't, so maybe he wasn't the man for you. 

A month had gone by and you started going to coffee shops with your friends, finally getting out of the house. 

Six months had gone by and you were washing your hair and doing your makeup, feeling like yourself again. 

A year later, you were thriving. You had a great group of friends, you were putting yourself out there with guys and you had just been promoted at work, which tonight, this wonderful Friday, you were celebrating with your group of friends at a new club in the city. 

"I will be there soon." You laugh into the speaker, looking out the window of the cab to see where you were. "Promise, like two minutes away." You tell Moonbyul, pressing the end call button. 

The cab driver pulls up to the club and you see Moonbyul, Wheein and Solar waiting outside for you. 

"Fucking finally." Moonbyul groans, pulling you in for a hug. The others join in, congratulating you on your promotion. 

"Come." Wheein squeals. "I got us the best table." She finishes, pulling you inside the club. 

You walk in and it's jam-packed with people. You squeeze her arm as you navigate through the massive amounts of bodies, finally settling at a table with your three best friends. 

"First." Solar pauses. "Shots." She smiles as four shots are delivered to your table. 

"That was cool." You laugh. 

The four of you down your shots. 

"Next," Wheein says. "More shots." Another round is placed on your table, one in front of each of you. 

The four of you take your shots again. 

Half an hour later, you had already done four shots and had two drinks, and to say you were feeling it would be an understatement. 

"I'm going.." hiccup. "To the bathroom." You giggle, ungracefully sliding from your chair and stumbling your way to the bathroom. You close your eyes for a split second as you walk past the bar, trying to ease the spinning when you bump into a hard chest. 

You open your eyes and look up, immediately thinking your eyes are playing tricks on you. You blink a few times before stumbling back, shaking your head slightly and looking back up at the man.. the man you once loved. 

"Kai?" You whispered. 

"Ayn.." he says. "It's good to see you." 

"Yeah.. um, you too." You say, unsure of really what to say. There were a few things you had planned to say to him had you ever actually run into him but you truly never thought that situation would arise. 

"How have you been?" You ask. 

Not what you wanted to say. 

"Good, good." He smiles that radiant smile that just melts your heart. "I quit the business." He says. 

Your heart drops. 

"When?" You ask, a little confused. 

"About nine months ago." He answers. 

You scoff. 

"So three months after you let me run out because you were never going to give it up?" You ask. You can feel the anger rising inside of you. 

"I.. well, Hwasa helped me realize." He says. Seconds later a gorgeous woman slides her manicured hand over his shoulder as he wraps his arm around her waist. 

You look at Kai confused, and heartbroken all over again. 

"Hi, I'm Hwasa, Kai's fiancee." She purrs, holding out her hand with a big diamond ring on the right finger. 

"Fiancee?" You breathe. "I tried.. for you.. and I wasn't good enough.. but you knew her for three months and she got you to quit and propose? What the fuck was I? Did you even love me?" You yell. 

"Ayn.. let's not do this here.." Kai says, looking uncomfortable. 

"No, I'm not doing anything... I’m...I can't breathe." You cry, turning around to stumble from the crowded building. You burst through the door, the cool outside air hitting you hard as you gasp for breath. 

Kai, the man you loved was now with someone else, someone who seemed worthy of him, not to mention he left.. he left the business behind. The one that you weren't good enough for him to leave. You weren't good enough to fight for apparently. 

With your feet dragging, you walk the long-distance home, ignoring the buzzing of your cellphone as you try to keep the tears from falling. You lost. 

**

The next morning you woke up, feeling as though a train had smashed into your life - oh wait, it did. You recall the events of last night and how your heart was shattered for a second time by the same man, in less than a year. You grab your phone, looking at the time, 11:34 am. Before you set your phone down, it buzzes an incoming message. You open your messages and your heart drops as you immediately recognize the phone number. 

Kai. 

[11:35 am] 17362592474: I'm sorry about that. Can we talk? 

It took all you had in you to not call him and scream at him. He's sorry about that, he's sorry? For what exactly? The fact that he didn't come after you, or the fact that he got engaged so quickly after leaving you shattered and a shell of the person you were before. 

You threw your phone to the corner of your room. You couldn't deal with this today. So instead of answering him back, you went about your Saturday. You went for a jog but you never did stop thinking about the woman, Hwasa who was so perfect and seemed so perfect for him. They were a gorgeous couple, one of those couples who should be featured in all the magazines. You didn't compare to her, clearly. 

That night you stayed in, ignoring the ringing of your phone that still sat in the corner of your room and instead binge-watched the saddest kdramas you could find and cried, while also stuffing your face. 

You woke up Sunday feeling terribly bloated, with an even worse headache but none of that compared to how your heart felt. As much as you didn't want to admit it, as much as this would absolutely fuck with all the progress you made in the last you, you still loved him. Seeing him Friday night confirmed that, you would still forgive him if you had the chance. 

Now you spent the rest of your Sunday agonizing over a decision you needed to make. 

Text him back, or ignore it? 

**

Monday morning you sat at your desk, chewing on your fingernail as you stared at the message on your phone that you had read almost a thousand times over. 

Can we talk? 

Sure, you wanted to talk, you had a lot of things you wanted to say to him. You grabbed your phone, typing the message before throwing it on your desk and trying to focus on some work. 

[10:12 am] You: Sure. Let's talk. 6 pm, my place. I'd rather this not be public. *Address*  

[10:14 am] 17362592474: See you then, Ayn. 

You roll your eyes at his reply. Boy, was he going to get an ear full. 

You paced in front of your door, checking your phone every 3 seconds. Time was moving so slowly as you waited for Kai to show up. You ran lines through your head, planning out exactly what you were going to say to him. You were ready and prepared to go off. 

You checked your phone again. 

5:59 pm 

Knock 

Knock. 

You stood in front of your door and took a deep breath before opening it. You almost gasped at the sight of him. He looked so good, but seriously, he had the audacity to look that good and show up here? What the fuck. 

"Hi, Ayn." He smiles. "Are you going to let me in?" He asks. 

"Oh." You say, coming out of your trance. You open the door wider, allowing him to come in before closing the door behind you. 

 "Nice place." He says, looking around. You lean against the door, your arms crossed as you try to remember the first thing you wanted to say. 

"Thanks." You whisper. 

That wasn't it. 

"Hwasa and I are on a break." He begins. "Look, I'm really sor.." he started to say before you cut him off. 

"Don't." You yell, raising your hands to your ears. "I don't want to hear that you're sorry." You spit. "Sorry doesn't make up the fact that you didn’t chase me. Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that you met someone 3 months after you let me walk out of your life like I was nothing, and then you got engaged! You really are.." you say before now he cut you off, this time with his lips. 

You hadn't even noticed him walking towards you until his lips were pressed against yours. Your eyes are still wide open as you realize what's happening. You place your hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. You're shocked as you gently touch your lips before raising your hand and slapping him. 

You look at him, up and down before grabbing his collar and pulling him back to you, latching your lips onto his. He wraps his arms around you pulling you in close. He backs up, pushing you against your door as he hikes up your skirt, his knee pressed in between your legs. You break the kiss and his lips travel to your neck, your hands now in between the two of you, unbuckling his belt. He shimmies his pants down, along with his boxers, his cock springing free. 

Kai places his hands behind your legs, picking you up and pressing you against the door once again. He lines up his cock before pushing himself into you with a gasp as his head rests in the crook of your neck. Your hands-on his shoulders as he thrusts himself into you, making you moan loudly. 

"Fuck." He grunts, his fingertips digging into the back of your legs as he fucks you. Your hand moves to his hair, running your fingers through his locks as he hits all the right spots, your clit being rubbed perfectly. 

You can feel his hot breath on your neck, his lips pressing a kiss as you cry out, loudly. 

"Just like that." You moan as your orgasm builds. "Don't stop." You cry, your fingers gripping tightly onto his hair. 

"Cum for me, please." He begs, you wrap your arms around his neck as your orgasm flows through your body, making you scream. 

Kai thrusts faster as he chases his high, spilling himself into you. "Oh god." He moans as he thrusts lightly, coming down from his high. 

You're both still for a moment, Kai still inside you as you both breathe heavily. "Shit." He whispers, pulling out. "That was a mistake." He says, pulling up his pants and buckling his belt back up. 

"What?" You ask, tears now brimming in your eyes. 

"No, that's not what I meant." He tries to assure you. "I meant the timing was a mistake, not you, never you." He says. 

"No, I get it. I wasn't good enough for you then, why would I be good enough for you now." You spit. "Get out." 

"Ayn.. please. It's not what I meant. I miss you!" He pleads. 

"Get out now!" You cry. The tears roll down your cheeks as he looks at you with such despair, to just listen to him. You don't care. You were a mistake. 

You storm towards your window, pushing it open as you struggle to catch your breath. How could you be so stupid as to let him fuck you, let him back into your life like that? 

This was a mistake 

I miss you.

Did he though? Did he miss you? 

You let out a loud and frustrated grunt as you swiftly moved around your apartment, rage cleaning. How could you let him come up here and taint your fresh, drama and Kai free space? Bad Ayn. 

Heading for your cabinets, you reach for your favourite cleaner, the one that smells like happiness to you and you begin your work. You scrub your door, cleaning away the sweat, the reminder that you let him fuck you against your door. You wash your floors, making sure to clean where he stood extra hard. 

When you were finally satisfied with your house and the cleanliness and freshness of your place, you went to take care of yourself, spending an absurd amount of time in the shower. You used different soaps especially on your neck, you washed your hair a few times and your fingers, trying desperately to get the smell of him off of you, trying to get the feeling of being called a mistake off of you. 

After your shower, you sat in your robe, in a chair in the living room, your finger hovering over the cold button on your cell phone. You needed to call Jisoo and tell her about this but you were slightly nervous about her reaction. You closed your eyes and pressed the call button and took a few deep breaths as you listened to the sound of the phone ringing. 

"Heeelloooooo." She answers in a singing voice. 

"I did a thing." You whisper into the phone. 

"A thing? Ooh, what kind of thing?" She asks. 

"A bad thing." You reply. 

"Do tell." She says excitedly. 

"I accidentally..slept with Kai." You whisper. 

She says nothing. 

"I'm sorry. WHAT?" She gasps. "Kai? As in, you just got over Kai? That Kai?" 

"That Kai, yes." You whisper. 

"Giiiiiirl." She screams. "So you're back together? I always loved the two of you together." 

"He has a fiancee." You whisper. 

"I'm sorry again, WHAT?" She says. "And you still fucked him?" 

"Well, he said they're on a break." You nervously laugh. 

"Shit girl. How do you feel?" She asks. 

"He said it was a mistake. The timing was a mistake but all I heard was I'm a mistake." You answer. 

"What'd you do?" 

"Kicked him out." You laugh. 

"Yas best friend, you go best friend." She laughs. "But in all seriousness, are you okay?" 

"I don't know." You respond. "I still love him, and I know I could forgive him but I don't know if I should. He broke me, and it took a long time to fix that and then he's got this new girl, and shit.. what do I do, Ji?" You sigh. 

"This is something you have to figure out for yourself. I can’t be the one to tell you what to do, as much as I would like to, this is you." She responds. 

"Thanks, Ji." You say before hanging up the phone. She was right, you had a lot of thinking to do but also, you really need to talk to Kai. 

** 

Kai sat on his couch with his head thrown back as he replayed this evening's events through his head, over and over again. He will admit, he shouldn't have kissed you but it couldn't help it. He really had missed you. He stared at your lips as you yelled at him and he thought about kissing you, then bam, he was doing it and he didn't want it to stop, but then you slapped him and kissed him back and everything escalated from there. 

He lets out a loud groan as he thinks about his life and where he was now, he felt like he was going insane. Everything was so fucked up, and in all honesty, it was his fault. Had he just gone after you, none of this would have happened. You would be here, laying in his arms, and you both would be happy but instead, you're broken and it's his fault and he's still in love with you. 

Kai thinks back to that day, the one when he let you get away and fuck does he ever wish he could have a redo of that day. The amount of shame he felt for what he did was indescribable. 

"Either you want it, or you don't. So let me know." You finished before walking away, and Kai stood there. He couldn't move as you closed the door behind you. He was hurt, angry and ashamed. You were so much more important than his business and he wanted to tell you that, but his pride wouldn't let him. He wanted you to be more understanding of his job and realize that it was just that, a job. So he waited. 

He waited for you to return, he waited for a text, a phone call, something - anything but it never came. He thought maybe you needed time but as the weeks went by he slowly began to realize that you had left him and it hurt. It had been too long now, he couldn't crawl back so maybe you would. If he was lucky, you would be the one to reach out to him. 

One night he had gone to a restaurant - alone. He ordered a glass of wine, and his meal and sat in silence as he watched the happy couples smile and laugh. He wanted that, with you. As he was lost in thought someone tripped beside him, dropping a purse. He knelt down to help and when he looked at the woman, he was shocked, she was breathtaking but nothing compared to you. 

Maybe that's what he needed, a distraction, someone to help him get over you. She smiled at him and he smiled back. "Thank you for your help." She says. 

"No problem. Are you okay?" He asks, seeing the tears in her eyes.

"Terrible date." She sniffles. 

"Would you like to join me…" he pauses. 

"Hwasa." She smiles. 

"Would you like to join me Hwasa?" He asks.  

"I would love to.." she pauses. 

"Kai." 

"Yes, Kai, I would love to " 

A few months later he was looking at the engagement ring he had bought, that was supposed to be for you and Hwasa had caught him, immediately screaming yes and crying. She was so happy. So he slid the ring on her finger and decided to keep it to himself. A few weeks later, he handed the business over to Baekhyun, not because Hwasa had convinced him like she thought but because he worried she would try to take it over. 

Kai was a little in over his head with her, especially when he couldn't stop thinking about you but he just couldn't bring himself to end it with Hwasa. He felt guilty, it had been too long now, maybe he was stuck. Maybe this is what he deserved, his karma for not chasing you. 

** 

A few days later, you glanced at the clock as you finished your paperwork, it was 9 pm. You let out a big yawn, stretching out your arms. There was a faint knock at your door, so you finished your stretch as you walked over to see who was here so late. You looked through the peephole and saw Kai standing there swaying. Your heart was in your stomach, you most definitely weren't prepared for this. 

With a shaky hand, you turned the doorknob and opened the door slightly. "What are you doing here?" You ask, looking both ways down the hallway. 

"I fucking miss you," Kai yells. "Please let me in." He begs. 

You can hear your neighbours beginning to get annoyed, so you opened the door fully and grabbed Kai by his shirt to drag him in.

"You can't just show up here like this." You say, crossing your arms. "You're engaged." You finish, those last few words felt so bitter coming out of your mouth. 

"I'm not… I'm not engaged." Kai says, walking closer to you. He pulls you in, just holding you but your arms are still crossed. "Please.. hold me back." He whispers. 

As a tear rolls down your cheek, you uncross your arms holding onto him tightly. The two of you stand there for a moment, you take in his smell, remembering what he used to smell like. It's the same, but whiskey added tonight. 

"Come." You whisper, letting go of him, and pulling him towards your shower. You run the hot water as he stands there. "There are towels in here." You say pointing to the cabinet. "I'll have some clothes for you when you're done." You finish, leaving the bathroom to let him do his thing. 

He's not in there for very long. A few minutes later you look up to see him standing there with his towel wrapped around his waist with water dripping from his hair. You bite your lip at the sight of him, taking a deep breath and remembering you can't. You can't do that. 

"Here." You whisper, handing him some old clothes of his that you never got rid of. You felt a little ashamed to have kept them this long but it was something you could get over.  You turn around as he drops his towel, you can hear him sigh as he slides on his clothes  

"Done." He says, his voice low and shaky. 

"You need to sleep this off." You say, opening your bed covers. Kai crawls in, scooting over for you. 

"Please?" He asks, patting the open space beside him. 

"I can't." You whisper. "I'll be on the couch." You finish, walking away and turning out the lights as you make your way to the couch. 

** 

Kai wakes up startled. He sits up in bed, confused about where he is, he looks over at the clock, it reads 4:49 am and then he remembers. He came to your house, you hugged him back, put him in the shower and tucked him in. You were so good. 

Kai crawls out of bed, feeling his way out of your room and making his way to the living room. 

He walks in and sees you curled up on the couch, a small piece of your hair covering your face. He smiles at how peaceful and happy you look in your sleep. He misses watching you sleep at night, just looking at you and feeling so unbelievably grateful that you were his. Kai bends down, scooping you up in his arms and bringing you to your bed. He places you down, covering your shivering body as he crawls in beside you, making sure to leave space between you two. He wished he could wrap his arm around you and fall asleep with his face buried in the crook of your neck, but instead he fell back asleep with his face buried in your pillow and tears rolling down his cheeks. 

That morning you wake up, feeling extra warm. You stretch out your back, pushing out your ass and you're met with something hard pushed up against you. Your eyes shoot open as you feel a hand sliding over your stomach, pulling you in closer. You shouldn't be doing this but fuck, you missed him, you missed this and everything that came with it. 

A few minutes couldn't hurt. So you snuggled back into him, relishing in the feeling of being held by him again, his strong arms wrapped around you, making you feel like the safest person in the world. Your personality made a bit of a flip and you began scooting your ass back a little more, lightly grinding yourself on his cock. 

"Mhmm." He groans, pushing himself against your ass harder. "Goodmorning." He says, his voice husky and quiet. 

"Goodmorning." You whisper. 

"Can I.. just." He pauses, pushing himself into you further. You weren't sure what came over you, maybe it was the trance that you always seem to be in around him but you opened your legs, giving Kai the invitation to enter. 

He lets out a loud groan as he moves to pull his sweats and boxers down, his cock ready as it drips precum. You open your legs a little more, letting him move your panties to the side before he slides himself inside you, stretching out your pussy.

"Fuck." You whimper as he slides in and out of you slowly, making you crave more. He pulls up your shirt, exposing your bare breasts before cupping one, twiddling your nipple between his fingers. 

You reach your hand down between your legs, pressing down on your throbbing clit before gently rubbing as Kai continues to thrust inside of you. His face is pressed into your neck, nipping gently as his hot breath flows over you. 

"I've missed you." He breathes. "Your scent, your face, your body, your pussy, everything about you." He groans. Kai continues to fuck you, his hand leaving your breast to move up, wrapping around your neck. He lightly squeezes, making you moan loudly as your orgasm builds. 

"I missed you." You cry out, rubbing yourself faster, needing your release. 

Kai's hand around your neck tightens as you both cum, your body squirming as he fills you up. You both lay there, breathing, taking a moment. He releases your neck but instead of moving away from you, holds you closely for a few minutes. 

Kai springs out of bed a few minutes later, pulling on a shirt before finding his shoes. "Shit." He panics. 

"What are you doing?" You ask, very confused. 

"I have to go to work. I'm already late." He chuckles. "I will text you." He says, kissing you gently on the cheek before running out the door, leaving you standing there with his cum dripping down your leg. 

"Rude." You scoff, making your way to shower. Before you get in you text Jisoo, asking her to lunch because now, you have more news. 

She texts back immediately confirming and telling you she can't wait. 

**

"Again!?" Jisoo yells, throwing her hands up in the air while you hide behind your hands. "You slept with him, again." She sighs. 

"It was a.." you begin. 

"I will cut you if you say it was a mistake." Jisoo threatens. "Look, you guys need to chat about what the fuck is happening because you have me confused." 

"You're confused? I'm also confused." You sigh, taking a sip of your drink. 

"Excuse me." You hear from beside you. You look up and see a very handsome man standing in front of your table. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just thought you were stunning and wanted to give you my number. If you are interested in a date, call me, if not at least I know I gave it a shot." He smiles, placing a napkin in front of you before walking away. 

You and Jisoo laugh as you slip the note into your purse. Considering how things were going with Kai, you didn't think you would need it. You finished your lunch with Jisoo and said goodbye before you went on a stroll and headed back to your apartment. You thought about your morning with Kai and smiled like an idiot as you skipped down the sidewalk, feeling like you were on top of the world. 

As you neared your apartment, you decided to stop and grab an iced coffee, maybe even a cookie from your favourite shop until suddenly you weren't very thirsty anymore, but instead, your heart sunk as your throat dried up. You looked in the window of the coffee shop and saw Kai sitting there with Hwasa, his hand in hers as they laughed. 

You pulled out your phone and dialled his number. You watched as he checked to see who was calling and then put his phone down, ignoring the call. 

With your heart hurting, you continued to walk to your apartment. You decided you were done being played by him and reached in your purse, digging for the napkin the stranger had given you earlier. If Kai wanted to play games with you, fuck with your feelings for him, well then you could do the same, and make him hurt more. 

The minute you got home you sat at your kitchen table, dialling the number the man had given you. 

"Hello?" He answers. 

"Hi." You say. "I realized that I never got your name." You smile. 

"I'm sorry." He laughs. "I don't usually do that so I was a little nervous. My name is Taemin." He tells you. For some reason his name made you smile widely. 

"Nice to meet you, Taemin. My name is Ayn." You say. 

"Well Ayn, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" He asks. 

"I would love to." You answer, without a second thought. Kai was pushed so far to the back of your mind, you didn't even feel guilty about saying yes to Taemin, Kai could have Hwasa. 

"7 pm, Jungsik Seoul. Is it okay if we meet there?" He asks. 

"Yes, that sounds perfect. See you tomorrow." You say, hanging up after he says goodbye. 

You were truly excited, maybe this means you and Kai weren't meant for each other. Setting your phone on the table, you walk away, trying to decide what you wanted to have for dinner tonight when your phone rang again. You made the mistake of answering it without even looking at who was calling, you were just trying to be happy. 

"Hello?" You answer, a little tune in your voice. 

"Hi, beautiful." You hear on the other end. 

"Kai?" You ask.

"Yes, baby, you and me, tomorrow night. Can we talk please?" He asks. 

"No." You spit. "I saw you with Hwasa at the coffee shop this afternoon. You were smiling while holding her hand. So much for a break. I really continue to surprise myself at how many times I'll let you fuck with my heart." 

"Ayn." He says but you don't stop. 

"I have a date tomorrow night." You say. "He's taking me to Jungsik Seoul. So I'm busy, bye." You finish, hanging up the phone. You toss your phone onto your couch, heading to the bathroom and slamming the door behind you, your mood now completely ruined. 

**

You stood outside the restaurant in your red flowy dress and heels as you waited for Taemin to show up. You checked your phone again and it was only 6:57pm, so it's not like he was late, you were just a naturally early person. 

"Hey." You hear from behind you. You turn around and see Taemin walking up to you, in his suit that fit him perfectly, his hair laid out in a perfect way to shape his face, his plump lips spread into a smile. 

"Hi." You smile. 

"Have you been waiting long?" He asks, pulling the door open for you. 

"Just a few minutes." You say, walking into the restaurant. "Not long at all." 

"Reservation for Lee Taemin." He tells the man at the front who then takes you to your seats. 

As the two of you look over the menu, the conversation is flowing and you can't control your laughter. You were having an amazing time with Taemin, but your heart wasn't fully in it. You took a sip of your wine as Taemin looked past you, slightly confused. 

"Hey man." He says, standing up. 

"What the hell are you doing?" You hear from behind you. It's Kai. 

"I'm on a date man," Taemin says, pointing to you. 

"With Ayn." Kai snaps. 

"Like.. the Ayn?" Taemin asks, looking between you both. 

"Yeah." Kai answers.

"Bro, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Taemin says, putting his hands up to surrender. 

"You don't get to do this." You spit, standing up from the table. "You don't get to waltz in here and pull this shit." 

"He's a friend, Ayn. He knows about everything and how bad I've wanted you back." Kai tries to explain. 

"Oh, I'm sure you wanted me back so bad." You scoff. "That's why you were getting all cozy with Hwasa yesterday right? That was wanting me back, right?" You yell, crying again. "I'm tired of you lying to me about her. Either you're done with her or you're not." You finish in a whisper. 

"I am done. Look, Ayn, it's not what you think at all. Please, please let me explain." He begs. 

You look around the restaurant at all the people watching you and your drama. "Fine." You whisper, sitting down slowly into your seat. 

"Do you mind?" Kai asks Taemin, pointing to his seat. 

"Get your girl, man." Taemin smiles, walking out of the restaurant, leaving you both to talk. 

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom." You sniffle, earning a smile from Kai. 

You walk to the bathroom, with the plans of fixing up your makeup, trying to make yourself look somewhat presentable again. But you never had expected to see Hwasa standing in the bathroom, leaning against the wall as if she was waiting for you.

"Awh." She fake pouts. "Poor little Ayn. Are you upset that you're trying to ruin someone else's relationship?" She asks. 

You ignore her. 

Hwasa laughs. "Do you think you've won because he's sitting out there wanting to talk to you? Sweetie, he walked out on you once, what makes you think he won't do it again?" She smiles. "If I were you, I'd be so insecure because I'm not giving up my man." She spits, walking out of the bathroom. 

Fuck your makeup, you storm right out of the bathroom and head for the table you share with Kai. "Are you done with her?" You ask, slamming your hands on the table. 

"W-what?" He asks. "Yes, I don't want her." 

"Then you should probably let her know because she just told me in the bathroom that she's not giving you up." You tell him. 

Kai stands up, looking around the restaurant. "Hwasa." He calls out. 

She smiles widely as she walks towards the table. "Hi, baby." She purrs, sliding her arm onto his shoulder. 

Kai pushes her off. "Look, I told you yesterday over coffee, I'm done. I don't want you." Kai growls. 

"Are you forgetting our little arrangement?" Hwasa scoffs. "I can pull out my money and you'll be ruined." She threatens. 

"You'll have your money back tomorrow, first thing. You're not hanging this over my head anymore, Hwasa." Kai spits, pointing to her face. "Get it through your thick skull, it's always been her." He finishes, walking towards you, taking  your hand and pulling you from the restaurant, leaving Hwasa standing there, looking like a fool. 

** 

It had now been a year of you and Kai being back together and they have been the best year of your life. After that night at the restaurant, you and Kai sat down and had a very long talk about everything, clearing the air, no more secrets. Slowly as the days went on, you began to trust him more and more, which led to you slowly dating again. 

After a few months you didn't want to do the slow thing anymore. You wanted him fully. You had no doubts about your relationship, and you didn't want to wait to give yourself fully to him. Kai had your heart in his hands, and you knew he would never do anything to break it again. 

** 

"You're lying." Kai whispers, staring at Hwasa with wide eyes. "You can't.. it's not mine." Kai says. 

"The Night of the hotel with the papers. That wasn't Ayn you were with. It was me." She tells you. 

Kai closes his eyes, flashing back to that night four months ago. 

"I miss you." You pout into the phone, making Kai chuckle on the other end. 

"I miss you too, baby." He groans. "I'm going to kill Baekhyun for this." 

"You can't kill him. He needs his best friend. Make sure you're safe tonight. I have something exciting to tell you when you get home in the morning." You smile, looking over at the positive pregnancy test sitting on the kitchen table. 

"Okay baby, they're calling me, so I will see you in the morning. I love you." He sighs. 

"I love you more." You whisper before hanging up the phone. 

**

"Sorry about that." Kai says, putting his phone in his pocket. 

"No worries." Hwasa answers, sliding papers towards him. "These are the transfer of ownership papers." She says, pouring a glass on whiskey for Kai. 

"This is all you called me here for? To give me papers?" He asks. 

"Yes." Hwasa answers. "Actually, I do have a question." She says.

Kai takes the glass drinking the shot before Hwasa fills it up again. 

"Why Ayn?" She asks. "What is so special about her?" 

Kai chuckles as he drinks another shot, and another one. "She was the first one to think of me as more than just a dick." Kai answers. "She saw i was worth more than being just a good fuck." 

Hwasa nods her head as she pours Kai another shot, his body beginning to feel warm. 

"I think you're more than just your dick." Hwasa whispers, pushing the shit towards him, leaning in closely to Kai. 

He takes a breath, smelling the air. It smells like you, he can smell your perfume. "Ayn." He smiles. His world spins slightly as he takes the shot. He looks up and he swears he sees you sitting across from him. 

"Lets go to bed." He hears. A woman helps him up, taking him up to a hotel room and laying him in the bed. 

"Ayn, my sweet baby. I like your dress." He smiles as he squints his eyes, watching the dress fall to the floor. 

"I want you." He hears a whisper, making him groan. 

"Oh baby, I want you too." Kai groans, unblocking his belt. 

He watches as his cock is pulled out. He closes his eyes as a mouth wraps around his tip, teasing him with a tongue before sucking hard, bobbing up and down as his cock gets sucked. 

"Fuck." He huffs, his hands reaching up and grabbing a chunk of hair, holding the head steady as he thrusts himself up, his cock sliding down the throat. 

"Ride my cock." He whimpers. 

His eyes are still closed as he feels a body climb up the bed, hovering over him before sitting on his cock. "Oh god." He hears moaned from above. He places his hands on hips, helping rock back and forth. 

"You always feel so good around my cock." He whines, his fingertips digging into the thighs on top of him. 

"Cum." He demands, his teeth clenched together. He listens to the sweet sound of moans from above him, as fingertips dig into his chest. 

It doesn't take long for Kai to cum, filling up the warm pussy that surrounds his cock. 

"Fuck, I love you." He sighs before falling asleep. 

In the morning Kai wakes up startled and confused. He remembers drinking with Hwasa, but he must have drank too much. He looks over and sees Hwasa sleeping in the other bed in the room, both of them still fully clothed. He went home that morning and told you about the wild sex dream he had about you, and you told him you were pregnant. 

** 

Kai walks in the door of your shared apartment and sees you standing there, with two tiny baby onesies, one with blue writing and one with pink. 

"It's twins babe." You cry. "A boy and a girl!" 

Kai walks towards you, dropping to his knees, sobbing with his head down.

"I'm so sorry Ayn, I fucked up." He whispers. "Hwasa's pregnant and it's mine." 

[cxptain-carol]

𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐨𝐲 | 𝐟.𝐰.

◊ part one - part two - part three

◊ summary: madam pomfrey’s helper, y/n, doesn’t care for the ever-popular sport that is quidditch. but throw in an injured fred weasley, a week together in the hospital wing, and a sprinkle of innocent flirting and she might just have to change her mind.

◊ pairing: fifth year!fred weasley x fem!reader

◊ word count: 1.5k

◊ warnings: most of the story’s set in the hospital wing (no blood is mentioned), not really a warning but reader is implied to have a female best friend

◊ genre: good ol’ fluff

◊ this part includes thursday & Friday

“Freddie?”

You stepped through the crack between the hospital wing’s heavy wooden doors. Fred looked up.

“Yeah?”

You let out a sigh of relief.

“What is it?” He asked, watching as you dropped your bag and made your way over to him.

“I thought you had already been discharged,” you replied. He nodded understandingly.

“I’ll be good to go by tomorrow,” he said quietly. You tried to not look too sad at this.

“I brought another list in case you wanted to catch up on your work,” you added, summoning the latest neatly printed list from your bag. He looked it over and frowned.

“I thought Flitwick would let me off the hook a bit,” he said, pouting slightly. You took the list from his hands and read it over.

“Come on, that’s nothing compared to my Arithmancy homework,” you said in a challenging sort of voice. It was silent for a moment before Fred randomly poked your hand to get you to look at him.

“Can I admit something?”

You nodded. “Anything you want.”

Fred’s warm brown eyes looked into yours and you melted just a little bit.

“At first, I was milking this injury to get out of class, but now I think I’ve been doing it to spend time with you.”

Your face was burning. Fred was seemingly amused by how flustered he could make you, as he kept watching you with a smile.

“Except it was ruined when you broke my trust this morning.”

He frowned in a joking sort of way and you rolled your eyes in response.

“Look, I’m sorry for not stopping by this morning.”

He still looked a little sad.

“I was hoping to ask you something when it wasn’t so crowded,” he mumbled.

Fred wasn’t wrong. At the end of the day, the hospital wing was much more populated thanks to kids getting injured during or outside of class. Mornings were quieter because not many had to stay overnight.

You took his hand and intertwined your fingers, looking up at him.

“You can ask me now,” you tried to say in your sweetest voice. With a little smirk, he finally spit it out.

“I was wondering if you would want to go to one of my Quidditch matches. We have one next weekend.” He said all of this with a confident little grin. 

“If you want, I don’t mind dedicating every Bludger I hit to you. Not sure if that’ll affect your decision or not.”

Just looking at him, you began to smile too. He eyed you hopefully.

“So, I take it that’s a-”

You abruptly standing up interrupted him. As he watched, confused, you walked over to and began reorganizing a nearby cabinet. After a few moments of rummaging around, you leaned against it and looked at Fred again.

“You know, I would think you’re asking me on a date, but seeing as it’s a Quidditch match-”

“That I’ll be playing in,” he added.

“-you’ve really just asked me to sit in those crowded stands and watch a tiny red dot zoom around through binoculars.”

“I know, but-”

“Fine. I’ll go.”

Fred’s freckled face formed yet another bright smile.

“Who would’ve thought that the Quidditch-hating Y/N would willingly subject herself to watching a match? Am I just that charming?”

You turned to him, tightly clutching a glass vial of Bubotuber pus.

“I told you, I don’t hate Quidditch!” 

Fred smirked.

“Well, either you actually like Quidditch or you just like me enough to watch a match.”

Cheeks heating up again, you turned back to the cabinet to arrange a shelf of tiny vials, needing to process being asked out by Fred Weasley and being too shy to look at the triumphant grin he wore.

-

“The Vanishing Spell is one of the most difficult spells to learn and master, so you should be practicing tonight…” Professor McGonagall’s voice trailed off as you became slowly and surely more distant from the class. You stared up at the high ceiling and white stone carvings, watching as the afternoon sun glittered in the glass.

“It’s been so quiet without them,” said a voice a few tables behind you.

“Not for a much longer; I heard Fred’s out of the hospital wing.”

You turned around to face them at this, and found two Slytherins whom you rarely spoke to. McGonagall had moved on to letting students read up on the Vanishing Spell and practice it on snails.

Now very energized and eager to see Fred as you had been too busy to visit the wing that morning, you stood up from your seat and nervously made your way over to Professor McGonagall’s desk.

“Hello, Professor! Erm, I think you know that I work in the hospital wing after classes,” you began, swallowing between sentence fragments. McGonagall turned her gaze from the other students and looked at you.

“Well, one of the patients who was my responsibility just got discharged so I was wondering if you’d let me visit him.” You could only manage three seconds of eye contact before you looked at the ground.

“It’s Mr. Weasley, I presume?” You nodded and McGonagall gave you a knowing look that was eerily similar to Madam Pomfrey’s.

“Well in that case, I’ll allow you to check up on him.” You beamed.

“Thank you so much, Professor!” You exclaimed before quickly grabbing your bag off the floor and leaving the room as quietly as you could.

Your footsteps echoed in the cold corridors as you rushed through them, clutching the straps of your bag to make sure they wouldn’t fall off of your shoulder. You turned the corner and came face-to-face with your best friend.

“Free period?” 

She nodded.

After you let her know what the visit was for (which prompted her to smirk at you), you both set off in the direction of the hospital wing. The doors were already open and you excitedly ran through them. But you weren’t greeted with a familiar face, instead an empty bed.

Fred was nowhere to be found.

Your friend jogged over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on Y/N, you can’t really expect Fred Weasley to sit still when given the option not to,” she said softly, but your face still fell.

Was he perhaps upset that you missed your usual morning visit? You frowned, both sad and a little ticked off that he up and left without a word. You busied yourself with straightening out beds before a cough at the door made you look up.

Not even bothering with words, you took one look at the tall redhead and beamed before you took off running, stopping to throw your arms around him.

“Y/N! Be careful!” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed but she, too, was smiling.

Fred hugged back, leaning down to rest his head on top of yours. Your face was buried in his sweater and after a few muffled attempts to talk, you let go of him and looked up.

“You look so healthy! How long have you been out for?” You gushed, unfamiliar with how tall Fred was now that he was standing up.

“An hour or two. I can’t be here for long, though,” he replied and that was when you spotted George standing distantly in the hall.

“Oh,” you looked down, stuffing your hands into your pockets, now feeling shy. Fred took them out and gently held your hands in his.

“I just wanted to say thank you, Y/N,” he said softly. You looked up to smile but froze as he bent down and you felt a warm pair of lips brush against your cheek.

Fred grinned at you but quickly began to chuckle: you were positively stammering as you tried to say something in response, your face heating up.

He lightly released your hands and backed away as you stared, shocked, at him. No sooner had he reached the hospital wing doors, than your best friend rushed to your side.

“Y/N, you two are so cute! I would have never imagined you’d go for a Quidditch player but I could not be happier!” She wouldn’t stop shaking your arm. “Wait ‘til we tell the others!”

But you were barely listening. You watched as Fred turned around and winked at you (earning a cute smile from you in response) and George, seeing this, jokingly shoved him. Now giggling with your best friend, they slowly disappeared down the corridor, leaving you to happily replay the last few minutes’ events in your head.

And you had a small but promising feeling that you and your best friend would be doing that a lot until next Saturday’s match arrived.

[yoondoze]

small victories | mark lee

“it could just be you and me, if you wanted” + “we’re not just friends and you fucking know it” + mark

pairing: mark lee x reader

genre: kinda angsty at one point but ultimately fluffy uwu

word count: 1.5k

warnings: none

a/n: this is kinda similar to slip-ups but i hope it’s different enough that you guys can enjoy. also, sorry for slow updates :( school started today and i’m just trying to get into the swing of things again. wish me luck lol!

A loud knocking on the door woke you up from your lazy Saturday nap. Blinking your eyes open, you realized it was already 6 o’ clock, and a lot of time had passed while you were under. Honestly, you weren’t planning on taking a nap, and you didn’t know you were taking until you woke up. You supposed that that was what lazy Saturday’s were for though, right?

Another set of three knocks sounded on your door, reminding you that there was a guest. You scrambled off the couch and jogged to the door. Swinging it open, you were surprised to see Mark Lee standing there, hands in his pockets.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Mark? What are you doing here?” You asked. He hadn’t texted you that he was coming, had he? You reached to grab your phone from your back pocket just to check, but his hand shot out to stop you.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t text you,” he said, clearly knowing you inside and out. “I was just stopping by on the way home from work.”

“Oh… well, come in,” you said, stepping aside to make room. He walked past you, getting distracted by the photos you had framed on the shelves. He picked one up and brought it closer to him - one of your family from back home.

“So, why are you here?” You said, pulling him back to earth.

“Oh, yeah!” He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he remembered. However, you pointed to the frame he was still holding in his hands and he made another small ‘oh’ and awkwardly moved to put it back in place on the shelf. You held your hand over your mouth, trying not to laugh at his complete mess of a self.

He cleared his throat. “So, the guys and I are going bowling tonight. You want to come with?”

“The other guys?” You asked, “which ones?”

“Uhh, Lucas, Renjun, and Jaemin were planning on coming. Johnny, too. He says he just wants to ‘supervise,’ but I know he wants to bowl,” he laughed. His giggle resonating through your apartment struck a chord in you that made your heart fly, and you hoped he couldn’t see it from the outside.

“Ah, I don’t know…” you started with a contemplating half smile, “I was hoping for something more, I don’t know, laid back? For tonight?”

His mouth fell open slightly as he stammered to go back on his words. “I-I mean, it could just be you and me, if you wanted,” he swallowed.

“Bowling?” you checked. Would you go to another bowling alley that the boys weren’t going to as to not see them, or just bowl in another lane? Would he tell the other boys just not to come at all?

“Well, yeah…” he mumbled, “Unless you want to do something else, obviously. Like, we could just hang out at my apartment…” His hand scratched at the back of his neck. You could tell that his nerves were practically sparklers at this point, small fireworks of anxiety.

You felt your cheeks get hot at the thought of the two of you alone in his apartment - and you really couldn’t place a finger on why. Or maybe you could, but you just didn’t want to think of the possibility.

It was so odd to see Mark so nervous, even more odd to see yourself the same. You knew why, deep down, but you didn’t want to acknowledge it.

But Mark was your friend. You’d known him for years - could you really feel that way? Could you really risk that relationship? If anything, you were just lonely. Maybe you missed your ex, maybe you were thinking of Mark as someone to replace what someone else took, and it wasn’t fair to either of you.

“I-I don’t know…” you said, not meeting his eyes. His expression fell at your words.

“Listen,” his tone was quieter, a little more serious, “it doesn’t have to be weird like that… but I think- I know that I have feelings-“

You cut him off before he had the chance to say the words. “We’re friends, Mark. Just, just friends,” you gulped. You felt yourself clamming up and almost thought that you could hear how hard your heart was thumping in your chest.

A flash of emotions cross his eyes when you looked to meet them. Disappointment and anger flourished in his deep brown irises, which stared back at you like a mirror.

“No,” he muttered, shaking his head, “No, we aren’t.” He pursed his quivering lips. Guilt struck you when you noticed the tears welling in his eyes, the flush of red in his face.

“Mark-“

“We’re not just friends, Y/N, and you fucking know it!” he exclaimed, finger jutting out to point at you. A small stream spilled from his eyes before he quickly moved to wipe them away. He averted his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing with a vulnerable note to his voice.

“I know that you know that’s there’s something more here. What we have isn’t just friendship and I can’t be the only one of us that sees it.”

He sighed. “And maybe I’m crazy, but I think you feel that way too. But if you don’t, just tell me, because I can’t do this anymore. I can’t act like I don’t love you when I do.”

“You’re not crazy,” you drew your bottom lip into your mouth. “You’re not crazy. But what I feel… makes me scared, Mark. It makes me nervous and it freaks me out because I don’t know if it’s real, I don’t know if I’m just lying to myself, I just don’t know.” You tried desperately not to choke on your words.

“Well, what do you want it to be?” he replied.

A long time ago, you’d heard something about tossing a coin to make decisions. Instead of just settling your choice, you could figure out what you wanted - for the brief moment that the coin is in the air, you know which side you hope for it to land on. You know which decision your heart wants to make.

You knew your two choices - confess to Mark or turn him away. No matter what cons you could think of, no matter how many things could go wrong, something in you hoped for a confession. You hoped for something more, just how he had said. Maybe the coin philosophy was right.

You confessed, “I want… I want it to be love. I want it to be real.”

He paused. “Then don’t you think it might be?”

No words came out of your mouth for a response. There wasn’t a need for a response, really. Both of you knew the answer to that.

“I think you should give it a chance. Give us a chance,” he said.

“I think… that I should, too.”

The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly. “So...” he tried, “are we going bowling?”

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “Let’s take our small victories for now, okay?” Not quite yet, after that intense moment. Hell, Mark still had teary eyes and he was already asking you on a date.

“Uh- yeah, yeah, totally agreed,” he stumbled, nodding along swiftly.

You waited for a moment, the space between you becoming silent as you searched for something to say.

“So... I’ll get going, then,” he said, wiping his palms on his shorts.

“Good thinking.” You showed him to the door and watched his reluctance to leave as he fidgeted in the doorway - stuck between two choices, you supposed.

You didn’t need to flip any metaphorical coins this time; Taking a chance, you suddenly stood on your tip toes and leaned in to press a quick chaste kiss to his cheek.

The face he made after made you giggle, all shocked with wide eyes and flushed skin and messily regaining his composure.

He stepped into the hallway. “Um, Goodnight, Y/N. I’ll... see you soon, I guess.” 

“See you,” you smiled. 

And then he was off down the hall with a cute little wave and you were shutting the door behind him. 

It had been an interesting encounter, to say the least. Maybe an unexpected confrontation is what you could call it. Something full of ups and downs and laughs and tears, fitting for a boy like Mark. But you had a feeling that some good things would come from those tears.

Either way, it was one little triumph of a large series of successes to come. The thought of one day having a complete puzzle gave you hope for whatever was to come. Because of that, you could take your small victory and hold onto it with pride, content until the next time decided to stop in at your apartment for another visit.

[fueledbysprite]

Sorry

it’s almost midnight but i had an idea and felt like Lukaniel angst.

This is why we can’t have nice things...

It had been an akuma.

Nathaniel had hated the violet butterflies and their influence from the very beginning. He had seen the cruel effects on their victims, the psychological and emotional trauma they faced afterwards, and how none of them could really ever recover after their respective incidents.

After all, who could be so heartless and sadistic to seek out pain and prey on it, turning into something evil?

He’d had first-hand experience with that vicious voice in his head. Even later, months after the night he found himself in Chloe’s room with a foggy mind and fading memories, he’d wake up shaking in a cold sweat. His akumatization hadn’t even been one of the worse ones… or so he was told. It certainly felt like the worst experience possible in life. Naturally, he couldn’t really compare his own to those of others in this case.

At least his had been something of a quieter affair. Only Marinette, Chloe, and the superheroes had really been involved. Meanwhile, others had broadcasted or even targeted the entire city while under the akumas’ influence. It didn’t matter who they were underneath anymore, the twisted supervillain ego was the only thing seen by anyone who hadn’t cared otherwise to begin with.

On top of that, some of the akumas’ effects didn’t leave only their direct victims with invisible scars. Alix bore the guilt of the terror of the entire class, as well as a number of people she hadn’t even known to begin with. No matter how many times they all assured her it was alright in the end, nothing would ever truly erase the feelings of the incident from their memories.

So Nathaniel knew better than to blame the akuma victim herself. That didn’t stop him from loathing the cursed butterfly itself with every vengeful fiber of his being.

Because while the rest of the city might also be suffering nightmares for the next indefinite period of time, he was going to be enduring them alone.

And the dark insect was completely at fault.

***

Nathaniel was the kind of person for whom being involved in a relationship was treading on eggshells. He’d never been the most self-confident person, but it was truly difficult to maintain a healthy bond when he second-guessed every move and constantly doubted the sincerity of anyone who seemed to care for him in the slightest.

It wasn’t his fault that there was an omnipresent paranoia ebbing at his mind that told him all his acquaintances were only associating with him out of secret motives or pity, that barred him from being able to call them friends - because he wasn’t worth friends. He was shy and uninteresting and only talented in his extensive knowledge of the Marvel comics universe and a good half of the anime in existence. Friends joked and laughed and hung out at the movies on Saturdays. Nathaniel couldn’t come up with even a moderately funny joke if his life depended on it, he constantly worried if they were laughing with him or at him, and he’d rather isolate himself in his room for the next three years than go out and face the possibility of having to interact with people.

Luka had helped him so much. His charming smile and casual demeanor countered Nath’s own introverted personality. His soothing voice could calm the redhead’s nerves and let him enjoy the moment instead of overthinking every aspect of everything. Luka could convince him that he wasn’t just hanging around out of boredom or responsibility or pity.

Luka made Nathaniel feel like someone.

But if that alone could have exterminated the hateful voice in his head, Nathaniel wouldn’t find himself crying himself to sleep every night, losing slumber over malicious thoughts creeping into his mind in the dead of darkness and solitude.

Sometimes - like the day Luka came to him gushing over the newest song he had created and begging to share it, or when he insisted that Nathaniel’s art was the best he’d ever seen - he felt like he might have finally let go of the anxiety once and for all. Those days, he was on top of the world.

And then, some days, doubts slammed against the walls of his brain and his heart, telling him it was fake, he was growing too attached, Luka didn’t see him the same way Nath saw him. It was poisonous, and in retrospect, Nathaniel wasn’t sure if it would have been a better thing if the akuma had picked its ultimate victim or chosen himself instead.

It would have left him feeling the same way, either way. Why not avail from some ducky superpowers in the meantime?

The supervillain had effectively enveloped Paris in darkness and let the raw, negative emotion flow. Needless to say, the city was immediately overcome by panic and chaos. Civilians found themselves being attacked by their own thoughts - every single pessimistic idea to ever have crossed their mind resurfaced and magnified itself tenfold.

Nathaniel temporarily went insane. One voice became a thousand wailing echoes, simultaneously screaming a cacophony of venomous taunts, preying on every single weakness and tearing him apart.

Suddenly, he was nothing again. Plain, useless, boring, wimpy, incompetent...all the words from separate instances at different times, banding together in sync and rushing into his head. He was invisible, insignificant, utterly null in a sea of better people he could not hope to be.

And Luka was trying to ground him, trying to ease the bad thoughts, trying to tell him it wasn’t real...but then Luka’s face morphed into something else. It was twisted and horrific and the voice that was once a source of comfort was harsh and cutting. Nathaniel involuntarily surrendered control of his imagination to anxiety, and soon, the only things flashing through his mind were images of the unseen future, fearful guesses at what was to come.

Alone. Irrelevant. Friendless. Luka turning his back on him - he had never been on his side to begin with. Nathaniel had known it, known it from the very start, and yet, he still let himself give in. How many times had he struggled to keep others away for fear of this very outcome, and now, the one person he had lowered his walls down for, wasn’t really sincere at all, was he?

Anxiety and paranoia clawed through him, asking him, begging him, why didn’t I listen? he thought. But was it really him thinking anymore, or had he completely given in to those terrible forces altogether?

***

In all his misery, Nathaniel’s senses were failing to register his external surroundings properly. Luka was unsuccessfully trying to lock him in a tight and calming embrace, one that Nathaniel seemed to be doing his best to escape.

“Nathaniel, please, snap out of it,” he tried, but Nathaniel wouldn’t listen. “I’m right here.”

The redhead was, despite all Luka’s attempts to console him otherwise, set on the idea that the older teen had only been leading him on all this time.

“You’re going to leave me. I know it.”

Nathaniel’s voice was small and broken, eyes foggy and filled with tears. Luka struggled to maintain a grip on his own emotions and somehow bring Nathaniel back to reality. His own demons were calling him, too, and their patience was wearing thin.

“I won’t,” Luka swore with as much as sincerity as he could put into his voice.

But Nathaniel was shaking his head, tears spilling out. He lowered his head so his hair fell in front of his eyes, shuffling back. Luka didn’t bother trying to smooth the crimson locks out of his face anymore. The ravenette took a breath and tried his final resort.

“I love you.”

He didn’t miss the way the younger teen froze, eyes widening. The way his small frame stiffened defensively and he looked up with a caution that bridged the final gap between Luka and a decision he had been considering making for a very long time now. And he most definitely didn’t miss the words Nathaniel mumbled in response.

“I really hope you aren’t lying to me, Luka. Because I feel a lot of things for you, and I don’t like people playing around with my emotions...”

He stared at the older teen, trying to read the impassive expression on his face through the haze clouding his own mind, before a swarm of ladybugs whooshed between them.

Luka could see the visible effects of the negative influences disappearing from the redhead’s body as his own bad thoughts relaxed and lifted, but he had his mind made up and there was no going back now.

***

“You wanted me to come over…?” Nathaniel’s voice was nervous, more like he was asking a question than stating a fact.

Luka nodded seriously, sighing as the artist cautiously sat down beside him.

“I...um...what did you want to...?”

“Listen, Nath,” Luka started, a bit more brusquely than he’d initially intended. Nathaniel only looked more nervous, and the fearful look in his eyes would have broken the musician if he hadn’t firmly set his resolve in advance.

“I wanted to talk about the akuma attack the other day...”

“Oh, uh...” the redhead visibly relaxed, making Luka feel the tiniest bit guilty, but he pushed it away.

“It really had a negative influence on you...”

“I guess I’m just prone to negative thoughts...” Nathaniel responded awkwardly.

“But really, how much of it was the akuma, and how much of it was you?” Luka asked, voice definitely carrying an edge. Nathaniel was stiffening again.

“Wh-what do you mean?” he asked, voice breaking slightly with nervous surprise.

“Nathaniel, tell me something. Honestly.” Luka looked up to meet him dead in the eye. He didn’t push his hair out of the other’s face like he usually did, and Nathaniel seemed to notice that, too. “Do you trust me?”

Nathaniel swallowed, watching Luka warily.

“I..yeah, why?” he answered in a transparent attempt to sound confident.

“Do you really, though?”

Nathaniel looked down, and Luka felt something small break inside, something he had prepared for already, not that it made it any easier when it actually happened.

“Nathaniel,” he started softly. “This is the problem, the reason we haven’t been able to move forward to anything. We’re stuck in one place and we can’t go on unless we can establish a mutual trust…”

Nathaniel was trembling but it didn’t matter anymore. This wasn’t Luka’s issue to deal with anymore.

He took a deep breath and let it out.

“I’m really sorry, Nathaniel, but we can’t ever work out if you can’t trust me. It feels like I’m constantly tiptoeing around you, trying to gain your trust, but I guess that isn’t going to work in the end...”

He looked at the redhead, silently begging him to say something in defense, contradicting him, anything, but he was quiet. His lip was trembling and Luka desperately wanted to hug him, but held himself back.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated simply. “I truly am. But until you can learn to gain some self-confidence and stop doubting everything, things really aren’t going to work out well for you...”

Nathaniel knew he was right. Of course he was right. The look in Luka’s eyes was pleading him to tell him he was wrong, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t bring himself to say it. Something was choking him and the words wouldn’t come out.

Luka’s expression changed to one of disappointment and he sighed regretfully, looking down and away.

“Well, then, that’s all...” he finished awkwardly, getting up and making to leave before the uncomfortable silence became unbearable. No one said anything, still.

He closed the door after him, leaving Nathaniel alone with only the option to wallow in hopeless despair or to take a lesson and move forward.

***

Looking back on it, Nathaniel reasoned that it wasn’t really fair to hold the butterfly responsible for his misery. Or Hawk Moth. Or Luka, for that matter.

In the end, he decided to blame anxiety. Not that placing blame ever made a difference, anyways.

Because sometimes, most of the time, life doesn’t give you a happily ever after.

Sometimes it’s your fault. Sometimes it’s not.

And it was that last thing that mystified Nathaniel, more than anything else.

***

“So I'm sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry that I can't believe

That anybody ever really

Starts to fall in love with me”

           ~Halsey, Sorry

[heryellowcup]

@ladygaybeale asked: Bechloe AU where Beca meets Chloe in LA, Beca’s reading a book on the beach with her headphones on and Chloe’s playing beach volleyball. The ball accidentally smacks into Beca, knocking her book out of her hands. Inspired by Vance Joy’s song Saturday Sun, Beca gets inspired to write a song and after being begged by Chloe, she meets up with the redhead a few times over the span of a week or so. Chloe gets Beca to go to a BBQ on the beach where - whilst everyone else is drunk- Beca surprises Chloe by leading her along the beach to a spot that’s quieter where she plays the song on a ukulele for her. 

thanks dude, really hope you’re gonna like this! i didn’t even know this song before, but it’s been stuck in my head all day and it’s totally your fault  @ladygaybeale 

This is exactly what Beca had needed. Two weeks away from her family, away from her friends and being able to enjoy some alone time, away from everything she knew. Which is how she found herself in LA, where she was currently laying on the beach, reading her favorite book and listening to her favorite music through her headphones. And this was all she was going to do for the next two weeks. Read, enjoy the sun, the ocean, listen to music and make some herself. She didn’t dare bring her laptop to the sandy beach, but she was constantly making up lyrics and composing music in her head. 

It was perfect, really, until a ball suddenly hit her square in the face and in the same motion knocked her book out of her hands. She let out a surprised groan and pulled her headphones off of her head, glad that they survived the incident just fine. 

“What the hell, dude?” Beca snapped at the redheaded girl that was now standing over her, an apologetic look on her face.  

“Oops, I’m sorry!!” the girl apologized but then actually had the decency to giggle when Beca kept glaring at her. It made her even more mad, realizing that the girl was pretty cute and that her blue bikini matched her beautiful eyes. Great. “Can I have my ball back?” 

“Say please,” Beca grumbled and rolled her eyes when the other girl simply giggled again and stuck her tongue out at her. 

“Can I pleaaase have my ball back? It won’t happen again!” 

Beca sighed and threw the ball in her direction, a little surprised when she caught it with ease. The brunette was ready to put her headphones back on so she could go back to blissfully enjoying this beautiful day, but the redhead seemed to have other plans as she wasn’t making any effort to move. Beca was pretty sure that she even saw the girl’s eyes linger on her bikini covered chest for much longer than necessary and it actually made her blush a little. 

“Any chance you’d like to join us?” The redhead pointed to some other people, mostly girls, who were playing beach volleyball just a few feet away from where Beca was currently sitting. “We’re actually missing a player.” 

Beca thought about it for a few seconds, her eyes moving back and forth between the makeshift volleyball field, the redheaded girl in front of her and her favorite book. The decision was easy, really. She was here to relax, after all. 

“No thanks.” 

“Oh no?” The redhead raised her eyebrows, the rejection seemingly not getting to her and instead just making her want to try even harder. The girl loved a challenge, apparently. 

“Nope. I have better things to do than make friends with the girl who just ruined my perfect day by throwing a ball into my face.” Beca deadpanned, making the other girl chuckle. 

“The girl who just ruined your perfect day by throwing a ball into your face, huh? My name’s Chloe.”

Beca, again, rolled her eyes, though there was a little amused smirk tugging on the corners of her lips. She, too, loved a challenge. “Go back to your friends and leave me alone, girl whose name I totally didn’t need to know.” 

All Chloe did was wink at Beca over her shoulder before she happily skipped back towards her friends. And yeah, Beca might have looked at her ass while that was happening. And maybe she also kept watching them pretty much all day, not really able to focus on her book anymore. 

She had never been one to write songs about another person, because that was just disgustingly cheesy, right? But for some reason there had been a melody stuck in her head ever since this damn ball had made contact with her face and she soon had to leave the beach, go back to her little apartment she had rented, so she could write her ideas down before she’d forget them again.

She wasn’t surprised to see Chloe and her friends back on the beach when she went there the next day, trying to go back to enjoying the weather and her book, as well as some drinks she had brought. 

And again, she kept glancing over at them while she was reading her book, though said activity was getting increasingly harder and she often had to read the same sentence more than just once before she’d understand it, because her eyes kept finding a certain redhead who usually wouldn’t have been her type at all. Something about her was oddly intriguing though. 

She eventually gave up on the whole reading thing and simply lay down on her towel, closing her eyes and trying to nap a little. 

Her bliss, once again, got interrupted when she suddenly heard a loud thump right next to her and she looked up just to see a very familiar face. Chloe, who was picking up her ball that had seemingly made her way over to Beca again. 

“Oops, that was close!” she giggled and bit her lip innocently, but she wasn’t fooling anyone, especially not Beca. 

“Yeah, and totally on purpose.” 

“Maybe.” There was a cheeky grin on Chloe’s lips now and Beca couldn’t help but stare. 

“You’re a pain in the ass already.” Yeah, acting cool was totally the right way to do this. 

“That would imply you want me to stick around, huh?” 

“Oh trust me, I have no doubt in mind that you will, no matter what I want.” Chloe’s tone had been flirtatious, but Beca was resisting the urge to flirt back, settling for rude-ish teasing instead which was kind of the same, really. 

“You wanna join us today then? Still missing a player.” 

“And why would I do that?” 

“You’ve been watching us all of yesterday and today, I know you secretly want to play with us.” Chloe felt smart now, but Beca managed to get her off of her high horse with her next sentence, even flustering her a little. 

“Who says that’s the reason I’ve been watching you?” Beca asked with a cheeky smirk on her lips. 

“Damn, grumpy girl has a flirty side as well!” Chloe laughed, seemingly impressed, and Beca couldn’t help but laugh as well, the redhead’s laugh being very contagious. Or maybe she was just crushing on her already. Though she was trying not to think about that last possibility too often.

“Grumpy girl with a flirty side, huh? My name’s Beca.” 

The grin on her lips was all it needed for Chloe to grab her hand and pull her towards her friends.

“You better be good, I don’t like losing.” 

Beca was small, yes, but she was also super fast and surprisingly good at volleyball, which is why her, Chloe and the others in their team won three times in a row that day. And Chloe hugged her every single time. Usually Beca hated hugs, they made her feel uncomfortable. And a hot redhead hugging her in only a bikini made her feel kind of the same way, just in a completely different way. One that made her blush whenever the girl simply touched her. 

And she had tried to go back to sitting in the sun and reading her book the next few days, she really had. But every single time a certain redhead would “accidentally” throw a ball right into her direction and then beg the brunette to join them again. Only because Beca always made them win, of course. That was the only reason. 

And while Beca didn’t want to say no, she also didn’t want to come off as easy, but Chloe’s big, blue puppy eyes made it impossible for her not to get up and join the other girls every single time. 

“Oh god, I’m so glad Chloe’s into you! We’ve won every single game so far!” One of Chloe’s friends, Stacie, grinned at Beca after an especially great game, high fiving the tiny brunette happily. She still earned herself a playful slap from Chloe though. 

“Stacie!” the redhead exclaimed angrily, but said girl simply grinned at her and pointed towards Beca. 

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t seem to mind at all.” 

And all Beca could do was wink at Chloe before she went to get some water. 

That’s how most days went, actually. Beca going to the beach to enjoy some alone time in the sun, Chloe throwing a ball at her and then begging her with those big... eyes of hers to join them. Beca finally agreeing, them winning, the brunette eventually going back to her apartment to work on some songs. One in particular. One she had called ‘the Chloe song’ for now, which was really just a terrible title. 

But this routine changed the following day when she saw Chloe excitedly skipping up to her without attacking her with a ball for once. 

“You have to go to this party with us! Tomorrow!” 

Beca raised her eyebrows with a grin. 

“With all of you? Or are you asking me out on a date?”

“Fine, with me. You need to go there with me, I mean... will you?” 

Beca grinned. Apparently bubbly and confident Chloe had a shy side as well. She liked that. It was much more fun to tease her that way. “Let’s make a deal. Different volleyball teams today, I’ll join you if you manage to beat me.” 

“Deal.” 

Needless to say, Beca totally let her win.

Parties weren’t really her thing. They had never been Beca’s thing. They just meant a lot of drunk people and a lot of drama. But a party at the beach did sound kind of great and it was a BBQ as well, which meant food. And she really couldn’t say no to food. It was the only reason she had actually showed up the following night. Not because of a certain redheaded girl that just would’t leave her mind and that she had actually written a song about. Totally not. 

She was done telling this to herself when Chloe walked up to her, wearing a very tight and very short blue dress. Yeah, this had been the reason why she had showed up after all. There was no denying it. 

“You made it!” Chloe laughed happily as she threw her arms around the smaller girl who happily hugged her back, though she suspected she’d need a little more alcohol to survive this night. 

“I had to, remember? You kinda beat me,” she hummed nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders before she made her way to the bar, followed closely by the redhead. 

“Oh come on, we all know you let me win, Bec. You wanted to come here...with me...” Chloe smirked teasingly, playing with the collar of Beca’s flannel shirt. And all the brunette did was shoot the girl another wink, neither confirming nor denying that the redhead’s suspicion was right. And Beca didn’t even have the chance to order a drink before Chloe pulled her towards the makeshift dance floor, because of course she would. 

And that’s how Beca found herself dancing all night, the people around her getting more intoxicated by the second while all she and Chloe needed to have fun were each other.

“Should we go somewhere else for a while? I don’t think we’re drunk enough for the people here,” Chloe chuckled eventually and Beca nodded, a nod that quickly turned into a shake of her head as a thoughtful expression settled on her face. This was her chance. This was the perfect moment to do what she had wanted to do all week. Share her thoughts and feelings with the other girl. 

“Just give me a second, okay?” She was already on her way, leaving a confused Chloe behind. “My apartment’s just a few minutes away, I’ll just grab something, yeah? I’ll be be right back!”

And, just like she had promised, Beca was back about ten minutes later, happy to find Chloe sitting on a rock a few feet away from the other people, from the party, waiting for her. And Beca’s heart almost burst out of her chest when Chloe visibly lightened up upon seeing her, a bright smile now on her beautiful lips. 

“You ready?” Beca grinned at her and grabbed Chloe’s hand, who followed her without asking any questions. At first.

“You’re not going to murder me, are you?” The redhead joked eventually, when they could barely hear the loud music from the party anymore, the ocean drowning the noises out beautifully. 

“Aww, you think I’m some kind of serial killer?” Beca chuckled and squeezed Chloe’s hand that she was still holding. Their smiles hadn’t left their lips all night and Beca didn’t think she remembered ever being this happy and feeling so at peace with everything. 

“I mean, you even went back to your place to get... this...” Chloe mumbled, making Beca laugh loudly. 

“It’s a ukulele. You really think I’m going to murder you with a ukulele?” 

“You might!” Chloe exclaimed indignantly, not able to stop herself from laughing until Beca suddenly sat down on a rock and patted the space next to her, motioning for Chloe to do the same. 

“Come on, this is the perfect place.” 

“The perfect place to kill me?” 

“Just shush and let me do this, okay?” 

Beca took a deep breath and admired the view for a second. Admired this whole situation for a second. Because she had come here to be alone, to escape her normal life for a while, and now she was sitting here with the most beautiful girl she’d ever met right in front of the ocean and she was about to share something very intimate with her and really, this trip couldn’t have turned out any better. 

Beca didn’t miss Chloe’s beautiful, surprised smile when she started to softly play the ukulele, but she was looking at the ocean, the redhead leaning against her, as she started to sing her song. Chloe’s song. 

Oh, Saturday Sun I met someone Out on the West Coast I gotta get back, I can't let this go Oh, Saturday Sun I met someone Don't care what it costs No ray of sunlight's ever lost

So tired of sleepin' alone So tired of eatin' alone I need to ask her what's goin' on Are we goin' strong? She felt like resting her head My shoulder was the perfect height We fit so right, so what's goin' on? 'Cause I've been undone

The long drive, the coastline Lookin' out at first light Am I still on her mind? I've been undone

Oh, Saturday Sun I met someone Out on the West Coast I gotta get back, I can't let this go Oh, Saturday Sun I met someone Don't care what it costs No ray of sunlight's ever lost Ever lost And still the memory's right there She put the breeze in my hair No kiss was softer, softer than this I'm readin' her lips Each line I read She left her books in my bed And her song in my head I've been undone

“For how long are you going to be here?” It was the first thing Chloe got out after Beca had finished her song, after she’d just speechlessly stared at her for what had felt like several minutes. And well, after she had tightly wrapped her arms around the other girl. 

“One more week.” There was a sad smile on Beca’s lips now, but Chloe kissed it away. 

And Beca’s heart almost burst out of her chest when their lips met.

“We better make the most out of it then, huh?” 

[various-fandom-one-shots]

Not-So-Drunk Confessions

Prompt: Hi! Could you write an imagine where Reader gets drunk af (although it's not what she usually does) and becomes really clingy to Jug cause she can't act this way sober and they have a moment somewhere no one can see them. And Jug confesses cause he thinks she won't remember but she does. Hope it makes sense 😂 Love ur work! You're amazing 🐰

A/N: Thank you so much anon and this honestly sounds good :3 Hope I did your request justice! I also made the reader sort of punk, so I hope that’s cool.

Fandom: Riverdale

Characters: Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom, Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper, Kevin Keller

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Warnings: Underage drinking; swearing; depressed drunk thoughts

(gif not mine)

----

Cheryl’s latest party was in full swing when you arrived. Your classmates were holding beer cans and red solo cups filled with gin and fireball. You wandered around, trying to find your anyone you knew, and finally discovered them crowding in a corner. You were particularly a loner at Riverdale High School - you occasionally hung out with Betty, Archie, and company, but most of the time you enjoyed solitude where you could sketch in peace.

“Hi guys,” You greeted shyly, tucking a stand of hair behind your ear. Kevin sloppily put an arm on your shoulder, “Y/N,” he said sloppily, obviously drunk, “Glad you fucking came for once. You never come to these drab-ass parties anyways.” You stifled a laugh and tugged your skirt down to cover yourself better while Kevin ran off somewhere. You’d asked Veronica earlier in the week if you could borrow a dress, and she happily gave you one. However, the only option she gave you was a black bodycon dress that only went halfway down down your thighs, so you decided to tie a flannel around your waist so that you didn’t feel quite as bare, and give it a little flare. She’d also tried to convince you to take out your gauges and skip the black lipstick for once, but you denied that.

“Girly, I’m loving the dress,” Veronica commented with a wink. “All the hotties are going to want that ass tonight!” 

You rolled your eyes in response and said, “Yeah, I’m not counting on it, nor do I want that.” You saw Jughead leaned against the wall, laughing. 

Kevin returned with a second red solo cup and shoved it into your hand, saying, “Honey, you’re going to need this, ‘cause it’s going to be a loooong night.” You took a sip, figuring it would do no harm, but soon enough you’d downed the whole drink.

Stumbling a little bit in your signature white Converse, you giggled. Maybe you had one too many drinks. Or two. Possibly three. You’d lost count but thought everything would be fine because Veronica said that Betty was driving tonight so she wouldn’t drink. You went around, saying hi to random people from school, before you found the school’s antisocial king himself, Jughead Jones. He was still in the same spot as before, leaning against the wall, silently judging everyone around him.

Making a hasty decision, you went over to stand next to him and say, “So what’s a guy like you doing just standing around?” you asked, slightly slurring your words and twirling as if to prove your point. 

Jughead raised an eyebrow before responding, “Okay, Blondie, you’re drunk.”

Furrowing your brows in confusion you countered, “Nope. Not drunk. I prefer to call it ‘slightly intoxicated.’ It sounds better. Also, I have blue tips, and my hair is bleached. I’m not a real blonde.” Taking a deep sigh, you slumped down on the ground against the wall next to Jughead. He followed suit. “You know,” you continued, just reeling off your stream of consciousness, “Sometimes I wonder why people have parties like this. I’d much more like a party with alcohol but instead of just being crazy, doing cool things like talk about philosophy.”

Jughead gave you a look you couldn’t quite decipher in your drunken - no, intoxicated - state. All you knew was that you were tipsy and he wasn’t. Continuing with the never ending talk that could only be caused by your drunkenness, “I like you,” you thought about how to say it. “Like, you’re always so calm and collected and mysterious. Plus, you’re always typing something on your laptop, nobody knows what. You’re all around a mystery and I like it,” you concluded with a final nod.

Speaking for the first time in a bit, he asked, “You like me?” You sighed heavily before leaning onto his shoulder, causing him to stiffen, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. That’s for me to know, and well, not you to find out.”

Stuttering, he asked again, “But... you just said you liked me. I quote, ‘I like you,’” he seemed confused. You shrugged. Nobody else was around you two, the party’s focus being near the kitchen.

Quietly, Jughead mumbled, “You’re not going to remember any of this in the morning, will you?” 

You thought for a second before saying, “Likely not.”

“Well then,” he said, rubbing him hands together in what seemed like a nervous fashion. “I might as well just get this out.”

Jughead took a deep breath before starting, “You’re so special. And I love it. You hide away but are so interesting. You are as a mystery to me as I am to you, and I think I’m in love with you. Every time you join us at lunch or Pop’s, I stare at you and wonder how someone so talented and amazing and kind didn’t have friends,” he paused, looking at you only to meet your gaze. “But I want to be your friend. Hell, more than friend. I want to be able to show my love to you.” It was as if he was looking for a reaction from you.

You smiled at his confession and confessed yourself, “That’s something I don’t want to forget. Will you remind me tomorrow in case I do?” you asked innocently, reaching out to tangle your fingers with his. 

He gave you a sad smile and said, “Regretfully, that’s probably not the best idea. It would be best if you forgot this happened altogether.” 

Interrupting, Betty came out of nowhere and said, “Y/N, come on, we’re going to leave now before Kevin goes to do a shot line and Veronica decides to do body shots,” and she pulled you away before you could even respond.

The next morning was truly awful. You’d never drank so much as to get a hangover. You sluggishly went to the bathroom to get pain killers and downed them as soon as you could. You grabbed a breakfast bar and pulled on your regular ripped jeans an a grunge t-shirt, and as soon as you felt good enough, you set out for the usual group Saturday breakfast at Pop’s. You felt slightly different but couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe it was because you didn’t put on lipstick or something. Anyways, you felt off.

When you got there, all your friends were already in the usual booth. Strangely you noticed that as soon as you sat down, Jughead stared out the window and became quiet. Confused, the conversation still went on, and it dawned on you. Staring at your milkshake you mumbled, “Oh my God,” remembering the events of last night. 

“What’s wrong?” Archie asked, looking concerned. 

Trying to find the right words to answer you said, “I-I just remembered something from last night.” The table got quiet and you stole a glance at Jughead, who had turned pale, but still looked out the window. 

“Ooh, did you get some?” Veronica asked suggestively. “Which eye candy was it?” You silently continued to process what had happened. Jughead’s confession. It all hit you like a truck. 

You slammed some money down on the table before muttering, “He didn’t want  me to remember,” and leaving just as quickly as you left.

Once in the parking lot, you kicked a good-sized rock in anger. The memories flooded back into your brain. His words replayed in your mind - It would be best if you forgot this happened altogether. No. She didn’t want to forget. She liked Jughead too, maybe she didn’t realize the extent of it until last night, but she did. 

You heard footsteps behind you and turned to see Jughead Jones standing behind you. 

“What do you want?” you asked, making it clear that you were annoyed.

Jughead sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets, “They elected me to make sure you’re okay.”

You scoffed, “Oh yeah. Yep, I’m perfectly fine,” you gave him a wry smile. “Especially after you told me that you loved me and you didn’t want me to remember it.”

Jughead put his face in his hands before saying, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Quieter, you asked with a slightly broken voice, “Why, Jug? Why did you want me to forget?”

He moved a step closer to you and almost yelled, “Because I couldn’t say it at any other time! I figured then would be the best because that would be the only time you wouldn’t reject me.”

“What makes you think I’d reject you?” You yelled back with the same tone. “You know what,” you threw your hands up in an exaggerated shrug, “I don’t care. For all you know, Jughead Jones, I could feel the exact same way about you.”

Both of you were quiet for a beat before you sighed and said, “Look, I’m sorry for yelling. But, for your information, this hurts. Emotionally.” He didn’t say anything, so you moved closer so that there wasn’t much room between you two. “Jughead, I-”

He cut you off by pressing his lips against yours, only pulling away between words of, “I,” kiss, “Love,” kiss, “You.”

You were dumbfounded, and didn’t think he’d do it. You reached up to his neck and linked your hands behind it, and you softly said, “I think I love you too.”

Jughead/Riverdale tag list (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off): @duchessdaisybat  @demonsglitter   @apocalypticangell 

[epeolatry001]

Graveside Matters Chapter Two

The college we both attended was amid a busy little city, surrounded by buildings that looked exactly like it in an attempt to blend in by remaining in plain sight. They only accepted very specific, very qualified students here – students who had some sort of special ability. Think of it kind of like Hogwarts or Xavier's School for Gifted Children, except that it's not at all similar, because it's just as expensive as a normal college and you're still expected to balance a regular classwork load on top of the powers training classes.

"Does this mean I'm a zombie?" Jake piped up as he strode shirtless out of the bathroom, steam from the hot shower he had just taken dissipating into the air behind him. A new pair of jeans hung low on his hips and he held a t-shirt in one hand while rubbing a towel over his head with the other.

He looked a lot better now that he was no longer covered in dirt and blood and the bruising around his slightly broken nose had gone down. But he still held a certain haunted look on his face that could only result from dying and being resurrected. Twice.

We had stopped by his room while his roommate was out to nab a pair of clean clothes and a couple of other items he might need, before scurrying to hide out in my room. We didn't have to fear anyone seeing him here, since I was one of the lucky few upper classmen to have been graced with a room of my own, complete with its own bathroom and little kitchenette. (One of the perks of the high expenses and exclusive acceptance of this school were the apartment-style dorms.) (… Okay, I get that it's a perk at other colleges too, but I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life so just let me have this, alright?)

"Not exactly," I assured him from where I was sprawled out on my bed, propped up on my elbows. "More like a revenant, I think? You shouldn't keep decaying or develop a taste for human brains. But I've never really had anyone I raised stay around this long, so who knows." My eyebrows rose with a sudden thought. "Hey, maybe I can use you as a case study for my final project this semester."

He made a face. "Awesome. I'm like an undead guinea pig."

As he toweled off his shoulders, I noticed his skin was smooth and unblemished except for the two fading pink scars running under his pecs and the red bullet hole over his heart. The recent wound was still a little garish, but it wasn't looking as see-through as earlier. "Looks like your wound is slowly closing. That's interesting." Very interesting, considering how, in my experience, corpses usually stayed frozen in the state they were raised in.

Jake's face lit up with wonder-filled apprehension as he gently prodded at the pink skin, then winced slightly. "It doesn't really hurt anymore, but the memory of the pain is still pretty vivid."

"Yeah, I can imagine getting shot hurts like a bitch," I said with a nod in sympathy, because, like I said earlier, I was bad at comforting. I jutted a chin at his chest. "What are the other scars from?"

He paused in folding his towel to give me a strange look before understanding dawned with a glance down. "Oh, these are just from top surgery."

Ah, well, that explained why they were so symmetrical. "So, not from a freak swordfight accident or something, gotcha," I replied easily with a grin. My gaze strayed to the clock on the nightstand and I tried my best to withhold a groan once I realized how late it was getting. "You're so lucky tomorrow is Saturday, because I definitely wouldn't have time to deal with this on a week day." In retrospect, a lot of what came out my mouth probably sounded harsh. But I don't mean it to, not always. It just had a lot to do with the fact that I simply hated doing things.

"I'm sorry that my death is such an inconvenience to you," he deadpanned, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips before he pulled the shirt over his head, covering any evidence of his death. "But hey, speaking of - does anyone else know I died?"

I shook my head. "Not that I know of. You technically haven't been gone for an alarmingly long time, so your roommate hasn't reported you missing yet. Though I suspect it's because he's covering for you. He seemed pretty jumpy when I stopped by earlier to see if you were there." I ran a hand over the soft blue blanket I was laying on. "I had planned to call the cops and leave an anonymous tip about the whereabouts of your body after I got my money back, but… Now you're technically not dead anymore, so I guess that'd be a moot point."

He crossed his arms and rose a thick eyebrow at me. "How considerate. But it begs the question, how did you even know where to find me?"

I batted my eyelashes and gave him a sweet, innocent smile. "The crows told me." Because that's what people expect.

"No, seriously."

"I tracked your phone to where it had been dropped in the woods - kind of lazy of your killers if you ask me – but that reminds me…" I adjusted my position to sit cross-legged as I pointed at my fringed purse on the desk next to him. "Your phone is in there if you want it back. Then when I got to the woods my necromancy powers kicked in to let me know there was a recently deceased body laying in a shallow grave up ahead, and here we are."

Jake shuffled through the many contents of my purse until he pulled out his phone. It was a little dirty, but still in good condition. "I'm the one who dropped it, just in case. It was like an electric bread crumb."

"Well, that's the first smart thing you've done so far," I replied with a smirk. "Wanna tell me what, exactly, you were involved in that got you killed?"

A heavy silence fell.

"Jake?"

His expression was guarded when he finally spoke up. "I agreed to meet up with these guys because they said they'd sell me some Stifler."

"Stifler…" I tried my best to reign in my reaction and keep my voice unjudgmental even as surprise and shock coursed through me.

Stifler was a hard drug I've only heard whispers about that lurked in the dark edges of the powered community. Those who were desperate for a quick fix to suppress their abilities instead of learning how to harness it, often fell victim to its addicting and flimsy promises. The build-up from having one's essence smothered could result in some serious consequences, some of which have led to multiple cases of powers combusting that had to be covered up before main stream media got a hold of them.

Because of this, it was also extremely illegal, and anyone caught with even a hint of the drug on campus would be expelled faster than you could say, "ButwaitIcanexplain!"

I cleared my throat, then said evenly, "Why were you trying to buy Stifler?"

He quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms. "I had my reasons."

Alright, obviously he wasn't going to spill. I sighed, knowing my decision to help was coming back to bite me in the ass. "Have you bought it before?"

This, he allowed an answer. "No, that was going to be my first time."

I tilted my head in thought. "But they killed you. Hmm… Not very business-like of them."

"Tell me about it." Jake's shoulders slumped, then he lowered himself into my desk chair. "The meet-up point was in the woods. I had the money and everything, but the two guys there didn't care. They made me show them what my power was to prove I was who I said I was, and then they jumped me."

"What's your power?"

He fixed me with an exasperated look. "Seriously? We've been in the same class this whole year and you never noticed my abilities or claimed to know me well enough to care about my death, but you felt it was fine to loan me twenty dollars?"

I clucked my tongue. "Obviously I was wrong about loaning you that twenty. And I usually spend that class catching up on physics, so no, I don't recall what your special power is."

I also, up until I loaned him money, ignored him for the most part. He had a confident way of moving and a gentleness when he spoke that made everyone instantly like him, even when he grew quieter through the years. And it was because everyone fawned over him that I deliberately decided to stay away. I guess some could say that was spiteful but, it's the principle of the matter.

He shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. They saw it and then they killed me."

Hm. That was a new development in the drug trade. I pulled a ponytail off my wrist to tie back my long hair as I thought. I didn't like where this was going, but I never was one to think things through. "Alright then, give me the number and I'll set up a meeting with them."

Jake stared at me like I had just casually told him I wear tin foil hats to avoid aliens. "Those meetings don't go well. They killed me."

"I know," I said with a deliberate roll of my eyes. "But I kinda have this thing where I control the dead, so that's not really a problem for me."

"Yeah well, you control it, but that doesn't mean you're unsusceptible to death."

I gave him a look that told him exactly where he could shove his unsusceptible opinion. "Do you want my help or not?"

There was a conflicted few seconds before finally he let out a heavy sigh, tossing his phone onto the bed next to me. "It's the last number I texted."

Shooting him a smug smile, I snatched his phone and plugged the number into my own. The blank text box stared up at me as I tried to think of some cool way to phrase my request; something coded, something that screamed, 'seasoned druggie.'

"Got your number from a friend. Looking to buy. Hit me up," I read aloud as I thumbed the keyboard. I quickly scanned it over to see if anything was missing, then added a sly face emoji. Totally legit. A smile spread across my face at how dumb it was, but I quickly hit send before I could overthink it or Jake could protest further.

He leaned his head back with a groan. "Oh god, this was a mistake. What if you just tell the president of the school and have her take care of it? Lampart's supposed to know the division in the police force that deals with special situations."

"Yeah, not happening." I shot him a look. "Because, A: I'm not even technically supposed to be raising actual people from the dead. I'm on an animal and plant based curriculum only and I'll get in big trouble if they find out about you. And two: they take drug allegations super serious here, and have a tendency to expel first and ask questions later. This school might not have been my first choice, but I'm so close to graduating and getting out of here, so there's no way I'm going to risk throwing away years of surviving mental break-downs and going into premature debt for nothing. Capeesh?"

Jake's eyes had grown wide at my growing enthusiasm, and watched me take in a deep breath when I finished. Then he squinted and muttered, "You messed up your bullet points."

"Excuse me?" The words came out tight.

"You said A, then two."

I gritted my teeth. "That's all you got out of this?"

"No… I get it, there's a lot at stake. But I don't like the idea of you putting yourself in danger." Jake sighed, a heavy, serious sigh that chased away the lightness of the situation I was doing so well with weaving. "I thought I wanted help, but I'm the one who got myself into this mess and I shouldn't be dragging anyone else into it." The chair creaked suddenly as he leaned forward to give me a hard look, and I was taken aback by the intensity in those steel grey eyes. "Are you sure you actually want to do this?"

My face pinched with slight confusion as I picked up on some sort of layered meaning in his question, but couldn't quite pin down what it was. I tapped my fingers on my leg, holding his gaze. "… Honestly? No. I wanted to binge something on Netflix tonight and put off studying for my exam." I shrugged. "But you didn't get me involved, I did, when I went out and rose you from the dead. So I'm sticking with it whether you like it or not. I guess."

Jake looked like he wanted to protest further, but seemed to understand arguing with me wouldn't get anywhere. Good. He was learning. Instead he crossed his arms and surveyed me. "Then what are you planning to tell them when they ask what your power is?"

I stretched my legs and leaned back on my hands. "I was thinking I'd just tell them my power…? They want me to prove it, right?"

"But you have a really powerful gift, I don't think you should give away what little upper hand we have in this situation by revealing what it actually is. And if you lied, they wouldn't even suspect anything because nothing about you really screams, 'I control the dead.'"

My eyes narrowed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Do I not look emo enough to be a necromancer?"

He shifted in his seat, looking me over with a slight smile, no doubt taking in the pastel pink streaks in my hair and baby blue sweater. Then he scanned from the soft shades of my room to the plants in polka-dotted pots on the window frame. "Well, you definitely don't fit the stereotype."

"Is that right?"

The flowers all at once slowly wilted and turned brown, curling into husks of themselves. Jake's eyes shot to them, then he rose an eyebrow at me. I waited for the usual flash of apprehension to cross his face like with everyone else, but it never came. Instead, he looked… Impressed.

I blinked, a little thrown. The flowers shot back to life, spreading their colorful petals wide as if they had never died.

"That's genius," he grinned, causing a dimple to appear in his left cheek. "You can tell them you have some sort of plant manipulating power."

Huh. That could actually work.