#yeah the constantly complaining woman in their church is annoying

[isfjmel-phleg]

😶

[sunshinejs]

Used to This

A/N: to make up for the last one, here’s a very soft and fluffy fic!

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Word count: 1.8k -ish

Connor’s hand made its way to your side of the bed; desperately wanting to hold you close. His eyes were still shut and he was half asleep, so when he felt the cold sheet instead of your body, he became fully awake.

He opens his eyes and frowned when he was met with an empty space instead of his wife. Wife. He still couldn’t believe that he gets to call someone his wife. A wife to wake up to everyday and love for the rest of his life. He’s able to walk down the street with her and introduce her to everyone “Hi, this is my wife. Isn’t she amazing?”

Connor sits up and stretches his arms. He leans over to grab his phone, when he noticed a yellow post-it note resting beside the device.

breakfast is waiting for you when you decide to get up sleepyhead x

After washing up, Connor made his way out of their bedroom and down the stairs towards the kitchen, where you probably were. He could already smell the heavenly food from the top of the stairs that made his stomach grumble.

Since it’s only been a few days since they moved in, there were moving boxes everywhere and the house was still pretty bare, besides the basic furniture; bed, couch, dining table, chairs.

“No peeking!”

“Connor, you put a blindfold over my eyes” You stated, rolling your eyes playfully, even though he couldn’t see you “How can I take a peek?”

“Just making sure, baby”

“Where even are we?” You whined as you gripped tightly onto his hand “When can I take this stupid blindfold off”

“Be patient, woman” He laughs and quietly opened the front door, carefully leading you in without tripping you “It’s just a few more steps and I’ll untie the blindfold on you”

“Are you going to kill me?” You asked seriously “Is this why we were driving for so long? You’re going to dispose my body somewhere far away so no one can find my body?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do” He answered sarcastically “I told you I loved you and asked you to marry me because I want to murder you”

Once they reached the specific area, Connor stopped her in the middle of the room “Okay, stop” He ordered “I’m going to take it off but keep your eyes closed, you hear me?”

“So bossy” You teased; yelping when you felt his fingers poking your side “Okay, okay I will!”

“Okay and open!”

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you noticed was the sight of a giant window with no curtains.  As you look around the room, you grew more confused as to why Connor took you to an empty house.

“Why are we here?” You asked confusingly “What is this place?”

Connor laughs softly, nodding his head towards the direction of the giant bouquet of roses resting against the wall with a purple envelope leaning against it “Read the letter if you want to know”

Still stunned, you slowly walk towards it and picked up the envelope first. Tearing it open, you found a neatly folded handwritten letter.

Do you remember when you asked me a few years ago; where do I see myself in 10 years?

I told you I’d like to think I’d be married by then, and even though I never said it out loud, my heart hoped it would be you. I told you I’d save up enough money to buy a new house for my family; one with a big backyard so the kids would have an area to play football and have tea parties. I’d build a tree house for them so we could see the stars better at night.

The house would be big enough to fit a family of 4 because I always wanted a boy and a girl, but I’d definitely not complain if there were more kids to come, it just means I’d have to find a bigger house. There would be enough rooms to have a study, a nursery and a playroom. I’d also want one of the rooms to just be filled with memories all over the wall.

And do you remember what I told you when I proposed to you? I told you I’d take care of you in sickness and in health, provide you with only the best because it’s what you deserve, baby.

So, this marks a new chapter of our lives.

You turned around, with tears in your eyes, to see Connor standing before you with a huge smile on his face. “This place…”

“Is ours” Connor confirmed “I bought it”

“You said we were going to wait at least 6 months after the wedding to start looking for a place!” You said “I told you your apartment was fine, baby. There’s enough space for the both of you.   We don’t have to rush into finding a new place”

“Well, that’s too late now” He laughs and reaches out for your hand, pulling you close to him “You’re going to be my wife soon and you’re going to put up with me for the rest of our lives, I figured this place was a decent place to start”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling softly “It’s not like I’m forced to be put up with you forever, you know? I agreed to love you and stay by your side, no matter how dorky you get or how much you love to annoy me when I’m doing my work”

“And that’s all I want” Connor presses his forehead against yours “To make this feel like home, to raise our kids in this house, to grow old together, everything you want to do… As long as I’m with you”

Soft music was playing from your portable speaker as Connor watched you work at the stove. He leaned against the door and watched as you stir the pan while singing along softly to the background music, while dressed in nothing but his hoodie.

He sneaked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, chuckling when you let out a squealed in surprise.

“You’re cooking?” Connor asked, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watched the scrambled eggs in the pan “That’s it. I’m officially in paradise”

“Don’t exaggerate, mister” You rolled your eyes playfully, turning your head to press a swift kiss to his cheek “Did you sleep well?”

“As usual” He sighs happily “You know, I could really get used to this. Seeing you cook in my hoodie everyday”

“You and me both” You said “Your hoodies are the comfiest thing in our closet”

“We could totally burn all your dresses” Connor nodded “I’m never going to complain if all you want to wear is my hoodie”

When the music switched, Connor reached over to turn off the stove. You look at him confusingly as he grabbed your hand and turned you around “What are you doing?”

“Wanna dance with you” He stated the obvious, pulling you towards the middle of the kitchen “This is our song”

“Babe, you’ve basically declared any love song as our song” You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, swaying slowly to the music.

“Well then, all of them are our song” Connor argued back “I don’t care, I make the rules”

“Alright, whatever you say” You smiled.

“Lucky I’m in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been” Connor sings along while he twirled you “Lucky to be coming home again”

“You should sing more” You commented and rested your head against his shoulder “It’s my favourite sound in the world”

“You know you’re the only one I’d sing to, baby” He chuckled.

When the song ends, you were going to move back to the stove but Connor had other plans.

“Where are we going? I was in the middle of making breakfast!” You whined as Connor pulled you out of the kitchen.

“I need to show you something first before breakfast” Connor grinned “I’ve been keeping it a surprise from you”

“Is our marriage going to based on you constantly giving me surprises?”

“Pretty much”

He led you to room down the hallway; the only room you haven’t seen because it was locked and when you asked Connor, he’d always shrug you off with a “I’ll let you see it soon”.

You raised an eyebrow curiously as you stood in front of the door “You’re finally going to let me see what body you’re hiding behind this door?”

Connor shook his head, snickering “Yeah, so make sure you don’t pass out or anything”

“I mean I make no promises…”

“This was the only room that I could finish doing just before we moved in” He said “And I really hope you like how it turned out”

When he opened the door and revealed the door to you, your jaws dropped in shock. The room wasn’t that big, probably the smallest out of all the rooms in the house but it was fully decorated and complete. He had the room painted grey, your favourite colour.

Connor knew how much of a makeup freak you were and always complained about not having enough space of everything, but never would you thought he would build you your own makeup room.

“You did all this?” You asked stunned, looking around the room then to him as he leaned against the door “How did you-,”

“Shawn and Bri helped out a little” He answered, before thinking about his answer “Actually not really. They just annoyed the shit out of me while I got to work”

“Con, this is so beautiful” You muttered as you ran your fingers across the white vanity “I can’t believe you did this for me”

You felt him standing behind you, with his arms wrapped around your person “I told you I’d do anything for you” He muttered, pressing a soft kiss to your hair “Plus, I figured you needed space for all your makeup so I’m hoping this is enough”

You turn around in his grip, smiling at him “You’re the best, you know that? This must have taken you ages! Is that why you kept saying you were going to Shawn’s for fifa?”

Connor nodded and smiled sheepishly “More or less”

And that’s when you noticed the big frame hanging on the wall by the window that made you gasped. You pushed Connor away softly and trailed towards it.

You didn’t think you were going to see the official wedding photos from the photographer for another couple of days but this one; the one that you and Connor took outside the Church under the big tree, was hanging perfectly on the wall.

On the frame, engraved at the bottom was marry me, today and everyday

That was your ‘official song’, the first song you danced as a married couple.

“Had to wait for that to arrive last night before I showed you the room” Connor chuckled from behind you.

You turn around and pulled him in a tight hug “I love you” You mumbled against his neck “Today, tomorrow, every day”

“You better” Connor teased as he rubbed your back comfortingly “You made a vow to me, miss”

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Please reblog or leave a comment! ❤️

x rina

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[badbookreviewclub]

Empress Theresa, Chapters 3 & 4

If you haven’t read Chapter 2, here is the the link. I recommend reading through this and Chapter 1 first before continuing on for the sake of continuity. These WILL contain spoilers, so if you’re not cool with that, don’t read it.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 by far has to be one of the most boring chapters I’ve come across in this book. It took me forever to work through this chapter alone simply because of how boring I found the writing and the general story line of the chapter. Its sole purpose is to introduce a couple things, one being Theresa’s love interest, Steve, and how ‘interesting’ she is.  Summary and Analysis: Theresa has finally moved on from her high school baseball career to attend Boston College, which Boutin, the author, constantly abbreviates to BC throughout this chapter. This abbreviation grows annoying rather quickly, considering that I don’t think the name of the college needs to be mentioned as often as it is. Aside from annoying abbreviations, this chapter is absolutely littered with a poor attempt to follow the story line Boutin seems to have loosely laid out throughout the book as well as piss poor logic. In chapter 3 we learn that Theresa is a whiny little bitch who thinks the amount of homework given to her is absurd despite the fact that there are plenty of college students out there who are handling it just fine. “The assignments I got in my classes seemed endless. Could anybody do all that work in a semester? (Pg 40)” This is Theresa’s first day of classes and she’s already getting upset over the amount of work she has to do. I don’t know about anybody else, but even with my higher level courses the amount of homework ramps up over the semester before the assignments become more manageable when finals start to draw near.  Aside from complaining about her homework, we never even see Theresa do it once throughout the chapter. After her classes, rather than starting to work on this ‘endless’ amount of homework she has, Theresa relaxes in her room before a group of girls (I assume her roommates and not just random strangers - It’s never explicitly stated which one.) invite her down to the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, out of a “”long habit” Theresa started to look around the room. She notices pretty quickly that a group of ‘kids’ are staring at her. I tend to take issue with the fact that Boutin constantly refers to these college-aged adults as ‘kids’ simply because it throws you out of the story. Theresa wouldn’t refer to people the same age as her as ‘kids’ and the book is supposed to be written like an autobiography. Nonetheless, these ‘kids’ are staring at her and Theresa automatically picks two out to comment on in the book. “Mr. Intense,” who was looking at her intently, hence the name, and “Mr. Fast Move.” I have a slight problem with the name “Mr. Fast Move” simply because Theresa gave him this name before he even got up to introduce himself. Theresa somehow being omniscient is a problem through everything I’ve read up until this point and I’ve found it to be more and more annoying as I keep reading.  Boutin also tends to have a really big problem with making Theresa assume the emotions and thoughts of other people. “One boy [Mr. Intense] was intently looking at me.... he was around six feet which was a good match for my five feet four inches. I liked taller guys and apparently he liked smaller girls (pg 40).” ‘Mr. Intense’ hasn’t even gotten up to talk with Theresa, nor will he for the next little while as far as I can tell. Yet, somehow, Theresa already knows his likes and dislikes and what he looks for in a potential partner. It doesn’t end there though, Theresa also goes on to continue and assume just what he is doing and thinking. “He wasn’t gawking at a pretty girl, or lusting for her body. He looked interested. And that’s ok. A girl gets used to being looked at (pg 40).” Aside from assuming what he’s thinking, there’s a lot of problems with this quote, enough so that I’m not sure where to being. Starting simple, I absolutely hate when authors write out ‘ok’ rather than ‘okay.’ It comes off as lazy to me. It only takes two more strokes of the key to add the ‘ay’ to the first two letters. Moving on to the next problem, Boutin never takes issue with the fact that someone may be looking at Theresa like an object, and Theresa never objects to that idea. She seems to be fine with the idea that someone is looking at her like an object or like a potential partner. Boutin never out right states that someone is looking at Theresa like an object as far as I’m aware, but it tends to be heavily implied throughout the book that Theresa is fine with that.  Moving on from Theresa’s assumptions about ‘Mr. Intense’ for now though, ‘Mr. Fast Move’ obviously makes the first move. As stated early, Theresa gave him this name before he even got up to make the first move. She also keeps calling him this after he gives her his name, Jack Koster. To keep it short and sweet so you all don’t have to suffer as much, Theresa knows pretty soon into her and Jack dating that the two of them are not a good match and that their relationship won’t last. Yet, she continues to keep dating him and dragging him along. One day, when she goes down to his dorm because they have a movie at eight. Turns out, Jack has another girlfriend named Ginny from before college. Despite the fact that she knew her and Jack wouldn’t work out and was just dragging him along, Theresa still gets angry at him and wants to make him jealous. Jack says that he’ll talk to Theresa upstairs so she goes upstairs to wait for him. Before I go further, I just want to point out that Boutin wrote that there were six guys in Jack’s dorm waiting on him as well as Ginny. That’s a lot of people for a college dorm. Still chugging along, Theresa decides she wants to make Jack so jealous he’ll “throw Ginny out a window (pg 45).” Theresa says that there’s no chance that her and Jack will get back together, so I’m not quite sure what her logic is on this one. But she dresses in a  “backless dress made of flimsy, cling material (pg 45).” The dress falls six inches above the knee, which “wasn’t a big deal these days, but to make it more interesting I folded back the hemline three more inches inside the skirt and taped it (pg 45).” I may just have short legs, but I measured how short this dress would be on myself, and this wasn’t even covering the bottom of my ass cheeks.  Anyways, Theresa watches a movie which Boutin goes into way too much detail to describe and it’s just overly boring and pointless. Jack never shows up but surprise surprise, ‘Mr. Intense,’ better known as Steve at this point, does. At this point the dress has ridden up Theresa’s hips at this point and despite Steve’s clear discomfort with the whole dress situation, she makes no move to try and make it better even though he’s there to offer her comfort. We do get this banger of an exchange though (Pg 49): “You’re quite, Steve. Something on your mind?” “Yeah. I’m trying not to think about what I might see.”  “I’m wearing a thong. You won’t see anything but my hip.”  “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.”  Steve has had a total of maybe 5 words spoken up until this point but he’s already my favorite character solely from the line “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.”  Steve and Theresa’s relationship develops absurdly quickly from there and it’s almost at a worrying pace. After only about a month of dating, the two of them decide to get married. Father Donoughty, or as I lovingly refer to him, Father Dick Doughnut, convinces Theresa’s parents to let her marry Steve at the tender age of 18 and after only a month of dating because he is more than certain that their marriage won’t fail. Eventually her parents give in because “Discouraging it [the relationship] could do more harm than good (pg 54).” Theresa and Steve apparently have an absolutely amazing wedding and we get a lovely detailed description of what Theresa wore that I’m more than happy to share with all of you because it’s not in the slightest drawn out or excessive; “I was gorgeous as a recently turned eighteen year old. For the church service I wore a two piece wedding gown. A floor length wide skirt with spaghetti shoulder straps made from matte duchess stain. Over this I had a jacket made of peekaboo cotton Venice lace that more or less covered my shoulders and the top half of my upper arms so as not to scandalize the congregation. At the reception the jacket and train came off and my shoulders and cleavage charmed the crowd (pg 54).” This description just reminds me of the excessively long description of what Ebony was wearing in the all-time classic My Immortal. Nobody gives two shits just what Theresa was wearing and the comments about what she is wearing don’t even make sense. I don’t recall a congregation ever being ‘scandalized’ by a young woman having their shoulders exposed. I also don’t recall a crowd ever being ‘charmed’ by someones breasts and shoulders, or you know, I just live in a boring world where people don’t get dazzled by my boobs and my offensively sexy shoulders.  As for the poor attempt for Boutin to continue the plot throughout chapter 3, in-between Theresa meeting Jake and then finding out about him cheating, Theresa is called into the campus police office because her ‘watchers’ were caught following her. Nothing really comes of this other than that we learn the Pope is paying for her tuition and finds her a ‘highly interesting’ case. The president also talks on the phone to the head of the campus police and tells them to pass along the message that they didn’t see anything happen, that they shouldn’t tell this to anybody, and that they should just forget about it. It’s a boring scene with boring dialogue and its rather pointless as well. If anything, it only serves to create more plot holes throughout the entire story.  Chapter 4 So we got through the boring hell that was chapter 3, but what about chapter 4? It’s not better. Arguably it is so much worse. I can sum it up fairly simply for you. Theresa gets kidnapped by government men, she assumes they’re ‘Navy SEALS’ but calls them goons through the entire book. She’s then put on a plane with an atom bomb on it because I guess the president finally decided that he wanted her dead and yet nobody objected to this happening despite there being no evidence for her deserving this fate. Also her watchers just disappear in this chapter so I guess their presence in her life was just completely pointless. This may come as a surprise, but Theresa manages to get out with the stupidest solution ever and doesn’t die. This is the part where I should be celebrating her survival but all I can do is mourn the fact that she could have died but didn’t. If she did, the book would be over.  Summary and Analysis: God, I really don’t want to summarize this chapter and point out things I hated in it but I will. This chapter was so overwhelmingly painful to read and mark down that I gave up towards the end and just started scribbling ‘No’ and ‘Why’ into the margins.  Okay, rant over. Starting off, Theresa is on her way to go to the grocery store when a bunch of cars in front of her essentially make a barricade so she can’t get through. The people in the cars get out with their weapons drawn as a van pulls up behind her. Once more, Theresa’s omniscient knowledge kicks in and before the door to the van opens she already knows what the interior looks like. She gets into the van anyways without much of a fight and just willingly lets herself be kidnapped. They take her to a helicopter and fly for a long ass time. Eventually Theresa asks where they’re taking her and rather than telling her that it is classified information like they should, they basically tell Theresa that they’re taking her to an aircraft and that she’ll be killed. Rather than getting upset about this, the tears just well up in her eyes but she doesn’t break down into hysterics. As Theresa so eloquently puts it, “But I didn’t cry. I wasn’t a phony movie actress using hysterics to milk all the drama she could out of every moment. I was a real person and I didn’t give a damn what these kidnappers thought (pgs 57-58).” Theresa once more assumes emotions, and states that she must have impressed her kidnappers and won their admiration by not breaking down into hysterics. This is where she also guesses that they’re Navy SEAL despite having absolutely no proof of them being in that part of the army as of yet.  Blah blah blah, Theresa decides to ‘wax poetic’ though she’s not being poetic at all and it’s just Boutin trying to fill in space so he can make his book longer. Somehow this chapter is even more boring and annoying than chapter 3 and shit is supposed to be happening here. I suppose Boutin is trying to make it intense, but it comes off as long winded and any sense of action of anxiety that may have been there is gone.  In-between the long and boring moments of Theresa just observing things, she asks how she’s going to die and they tell her that she’s going to be loaded onto a plane with an atomic bomb. This is a problem for a lot of reasons, actually, and I’ll put them in a list for you:  1. This is a stupidly expensive way to kill someone 2. Theresa never stood trial for this and its not as thought it could have flown under the radar either. There is a shit ton of money being funneled into an atomic bomb and a plane that wouldn’t go unnoticed in the records.  3. Theresa’s watchers never showed up once despite having watched her grow up and seeing that she would never harm a fly. Yet here she has been declared a danger to national security.  4. All of the men who are escorting her to her death have no proof that she has done anything to be a threat to national security. As far as they’re aware, she’s an innocent eighteen year old girl. 5. The way that they’re going to kill her is cruel, inhumane, and excessive. Never in my life could I see anyone letting a president get away with ordering a death sentence like this.  6. Theresa never fucking stood trial for this shit. This wouldn’t just fly under the radar with congress. Believe it or not, but the President of the United States doesn’t have enough power to just order someone dead because they believe them to be a threat. Theresa would have to go through a trial first.  I could see a coup happening in the United States before anyone ever let anything like this happen. These tend to be my problems with a majority of the chapter. To get into more specifics, Theresa says that she needs to think of a way to get out of this, but we never see her elaborate on a plan nor do we ever become clued in that she has come up with an idea. Instead, we, the reader, see her do some nonsensical bullshit. When they take her to an empty cafeteria to have her last meal, Theresa takes an empty garbage bag and fills it with exactly 11 coke bottles that at the time confused the living shit out of me. As it turns out, she’s going to empty out these coke bottles and shove them into her jumpsuit so she’ll be buoyant when she jumps from the plane before it can blow her up. This is some kind of bullshit five-minute crafts solution. It’s a stupid one and never in a million years could I ever see this working.  Theresa also decides to reflect on her life and comes to the conclusion that her life as not significant and was incredibly boring. How wonderful for that the reader has to reader that when we could have come to that conclusion ourselves. We also learn that Theresa has had ‘no illnesses’ which seems like utter bullshit to me, but alright, go off Boutin. She also had a ‘mean’ dog growl at her once and suddenly she now has absolutely no love for dogs. I’ll let you interpret that one however you want. The night before she’s going to be executed, Theresa decides to reflect on her life thus far with Steve. This could have been a bittersweet moment where we truly get something emotion filled and with fond memories that we didn’t see. It’s not a bad idea to have her reflect on her loved one during what should be a very emotional time, yet all we do is get a recap of his experience with her last chapter. It’s boring and inspires no emotion from the reader. We could have learned something about Steve and how Theresa sees him and yet we don’t learn anything.  What we do learn however, is that Theresa somehow has shit tons of knowledge about aircraft despite this never being mentioned before in the book. I don’t think she actually is supposed to be an aircraft nerd, I think that Boutin just forgot about that and started to write far too much that he learned about planes so he could share the information with everyone. It’s more confusing than not in the actual text though and draws away from the story, not that there was much to begin with.  Also, somehow, refueling in flight will snap your neck if you don���t brace right according to Boutin. I did some light research and no, no it will not. Despite this, Boutin goes on for about two pages about how Theresa has to brace so it doesn’t snap her neck when they refuel mid-flight on their way to take her another boat so she can get on the plane with the bomb on it.  Jesus christ the next few pages are just absolute hell. Theresa lands on boat. Captain of boat brought women onto top of boat. Thought the one being executed would be man and deserved to see women before he died. Strongly implies women are objects for men to look at again. One woman takes out her phone. She asks Theresa if she has anything she’d like to say. Dis bitch.  Dis.  fuckin.  bitch.  “I once read a famous quote by the Shawnee Indian Chief Tecumseh about singing a death song and going out like a hero. I had rewritten it for a more universal use, never dreaming that I’d use it myself so soon. ‘If people grieve your passing rejoice in the good you did and die like a hero going home. I feel good about who I was.’ (pg 68)”  Not only is pulling your phone out to record someone who is about to be executed highly against probably all policies, but also, just... fuckin... if this situation were to ever happen in real life, this would be an absolute shit show of a situation. People are breaking rules left and right, nobody is obeying any sort of code of ethics or any kind of rules that were laid out for them. It’s just stupid. All of this chapter is just plain stupid and the logic is terrible. One of the people gives Theresa thermals because it’s going to be cold when she’s flying up and they insist that she gets oxygen and wears a mask. They do all of this for her despite the fact that in the end she’s going to get blown up and none of it matters. Nothing fucking matters in this book. After this though Theresa fucking jumps from the plane once it has taken off and is at an altitude of 54,140. The impact on the water alone would have been enough to kill her and yet it doesn’t. She just passes out when she hits in and then wakes back up. Now is when she starts to get cold and she passes out again.  The entire time that the plane is climbing into the air and she’s falling before she hits the water is supposed to be an intense and action-packed scene. I get that’s what Boutin is trying to do in this last part of the chapter, but it doesn’t come across that way. It’s dragged out. It’s wordy and Theresa thinks way too much about other things for it to feel like it is supposed to be as intense as I think Boutin wanted it to be. It’s poorly written to put it simply, which really sucks because it’s the climax of the entire chapter and the most intense moment out of anything leading up to this point.  End Alright that is the end of chapter 3 and 4. I don’t know when 5 to whatever chapter I decide is worth it will come out, but hopefully sooner rather than later so I can finish with this book. Chances are I’ll post a review for a different book in-between this one and the next so look out for that. I’ve got a few absolutely terrible books on their way that I’ll be receiving over the next month. The first one out of the batch I plan to review is someone’s fan fiction that they decided to publish called Insanity: Jeff the Killer simply because it’s 77 pages and after flipping through it, it’s already better than some of the shit I’ve read lately.  Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to follow and look out for more reviews of books. I hope I’m actually getting better at this review thing! Please feel free to leave any feedback and things you would like!

[lukes-writing]

Chapter 5: The Heap of Ashes

Project introduction | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Word count: 2800 Warnings: Profanity

September 23rd, 7:58 PM, the Heap of Ashes, Trinity Gate

The Heap of Ashes is, at first glance, an uninteresting hill which offers a nice view of the Trinity Gate cityscape, even though the view would be better if the hill was taller. All that’s on its top is a small chapel which has some backstory behind it. During the second civil war, it was a place where the people of all three territories could go and say a prayer. It was a sacred ground and nobody was ever attacked or killed there.

However, people tend to forget easily. The chapel has been abandoned and the religious needs of the city’s Christians can now be satisfied in a large, splendid church in the city center.

Sienna sees the silhouette of the chapel in front of her. She still doesn’t know what she should expect. She thinks what would happen if she stayed at the party and continued conversation with that cute guy. She starts to regret the decision to come here and considers returning to the party while it’s still underway.

But her curiosity forces her to keep going.

Now she sees there are some other people gathered in front of the chapel. She’s not naive enough to rule out the possibility she’s walking into some sort of trap, but she’s prepared even for this possibility. Her purse hides, besides other things, a small, yet efficient 9mm handgun.

And she knows how to handle it very well.

She comes closer to the group in front of the chapel and takes a closer look at the three people.

The man from the parking lot isn’t among them, but there is a girl who must be related to him somehow. She also wears long, fair dreadlocks and even her facial features are somewhat similar to him.

Sienna looks at the girl for a while longer. She’s that type of weirdo Sienna intentionally avoids while at school - hanging out with weirdos would put a dent in her reputation. She’s wearing a hippie-style dress and… damn, is she really barefoot?

The girl notices Sienna is looking at her and she approaches her. She has a strange smile on her lips, somehow absent, dreamy. Nevertheless, it doesn’t come out as creepy, just slightly uncanny. Sienna realizes she’s actually kind of cute, despite her face untouched by make-up, petite frame and apparent lack of feminine curves.

“I’m pleased to meet you,” the girl says with a peculiar sing-song voice and makes a curtsy - something Sienna has never seen a woman actually doing. “I’m Whisper.”

“Whisper?” Sienna replies, still figuring out how to feel about this girl. “That’s a nickname, right?”

Whisper lets out a ringing laugh. “No, that’s my actual name. But if you find it too strange, my second name is Johanna. Even though I still prefer Whisper. Or Wisp.”

“Sienna. Nice to meet you,” the older girl says. For some reason, she doesn’t feel a need to use her full name like she usually does. Then she gives Whisper a small smile.

The longer she looks at Whisper, the more oddities she finds. Earrings decorated with bird feathers are hanging from her ears. She’s wearing an excessive number of necklaces, pendants, bracelets and wristbands around her neck and wrists - she even has decorative bands around her ankles. Flowers are weaved into her hair.

Sienna wouldn’t call her beautiful. But there was a word which would describe her peculiar charm perfectly. What was the word? Yeah. Winsome.

Whisper lets out another laugh. “Girl, you’re looking at me like I was some kind of paranormal entity!” Her thin arm grabs Sienna around her waist. “Come, join us! No need to be afraid!”

Sienna’s hopes go up when she realizes the remaining two members of the group are men. But they quickly cease again after she gives them a closer look.

One of them is tall, but neither fit or good-looking. He is leaning against the chapel’s wall with his hands folded on his chest. Sienna likes to hang out with bad boys, but this one looks like a straight-up asshole. He gives her only one bored look and continues observing the cityscape below them.

The other one almost makes Sienna laugh, but she manages to gather the rest of her courtesy and hold it. For real though, that guy is incredibly short, with a ridiculous afro on his head. His futile attempt to grow some facial hair doesn't make him look any more manly. He looks like he desperately wants to be in another place.

With her friends around, Sienna would normally laugh at people like Whisper or the short guy. Now she realizes it’s not the best thing to do. She feels a bit insecure since she’s used to being surrounded by people as popular and beautiful as her. Now she has a company of three rather peculiar people.

She can still turn around and return to the party. But once again, her curiosity wins.

Then, the tall guy finally speaks with a rough, gruff voice. “Alright, ladies and… you,” he makes a gesture at the short guy. “I suppose we’re all here because we met the same weird dude with dreadlocks.”

“That’s uncle Wiccan!” Whisper bursts out. “No need to be afraid of him. He’s great!”

The tall man looks at her and raises his eyebrows. “Unbelievable. I would never guess you two are related somehow.”

Whisper scowls at his sarcasm, but remains silent.

“Does anyone know what does he want from us?” Sienna dares to ask. “Did he also talk about some kind of job offer when he spoke to you?”

“Y...yes, he did,” the short guy speaks timidly. “He promised me… a house.”

He seems to be intimidated by the tall guy; he’s constantly glancing at him, like he was expecting him to hurt him somehow. Sienna can see why. They are a textbook example of a bully and his victim.

“Same here,” the tall man utters. “But I wouldn’t be here if it was only up to me,” he gives a grim smile.

After another while of awkward silence, Whisper points at both of the guys. “Hey, you two, Sienna and I need to know your names! Not introducing yourself is rude.”

“Parker,” the tall man replies curtly.

The short one takes several deep breaths before answering. “Gary. Gary… Underwood.”

Another wave of silence is finally interrupted by Wiccan Salisbury finally emerging from inside the abandoned chapel. “Welcome!” he calls with a wide smile on his face. “I knew you would all arrive in the end, even though I had slight doubts with some of you,” he gives a knowing look to Sienna and Parker. “Curiosity is a bitch, right? But I can assure you that you made the right decision.”

“My ass,” Parker utters.

“Uncle Wiccan, hi!” Whisper squeals and rushes to the man, hugging him.

Wiccan laughs. “Wisp, I think it’s not the right time for this.”

The girl scowls and backs off.

Then, the man speaks to the four once again. “I presume my lovely niece told you already - my name is Wiccan Salisbury and in this story, I’m that mentor character which usually gets killed off later. I hope this won’t be the case, though.”

Whisper lets out another ringing laugh. Even Sienna giggles a little. The more she interacts with this strange man, the more she likes him.

“I know it sounds cliché and stuff, but once you enter this chapel, your life will never be the same again,” Wiccan continues in a more serious tone. “This is your last chance to turn around and leave. You will be free to go, without any consequences,” he looks at Parker.

The tall man seriously considers leaving - Sienna can see it in his eyes. But in the end, he stays, just like the remaining trio. Wiccan nods and gestures them into the chapel.

Even though the chapel is abandoned, its interior looks brand new. It’s nothing too opulent, just a few rows of pews, a pulpit in front of them and a detailed statue of crucified Christ above it. However, Whisper still feels the sanctity of this place. She tiptoes, trying not to make any noise which would disturb it.

They all advance in silence. The most prominent sound is the clacking of Sienna’s heels on the floor. Parker shuffles forward, limping heavily. Gary looks around with a gaping mouth.

“Do you know the first rule of videogames?” Wiccan speaks, his voice echoing through the chapel, violating the solemn peace. “When you’re in a church, always check the space behind the altar. There is almost always some kind of secret.” He walks behind the pulpit and grabs something on its backside, probably some kind of secret lever. A clattering sound resonates through the open space.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Parker spits out.

“Hey, watch your language! This is a sacred place!” Whisper scolds him. Parker just gives her an annoyed look which the girl endures.

Suddenly, a part of the wall underneath the Jesus statue slides to the side - hidden door. It reveals a shaft with an elevator car - something they would never expect here.

“We used to have a nice, old-school shaft with a cool spiral staircase, but some of the people who worked here before complained about having to walk the stairs every time they went here, so we had to modernize,” Wiccan explains. The elevator is rather large, enough for five or six people. At least its interior, which is made to resemble shiny dark wood, fits the local atmosphere well.

“Come on, step inside,” Wiccan urges them. “I know you’re suspicious and demand answers. I promise you’ll get them as soon as we descend.”

Wiccan hops into the elevator first. Sienna and Parker reluctantly follow her. Gary hesitates, but also steps in. There are no buttons in the elevator, just a wooden lever. Wiccan pulls it. The elevator car closes once again and starts to descend. The space is illuminated by a strip light on the ceiling.

The ride doesn’t last long. The door soon opens again and the group steps into a large, bright room which could be a modern conference room, just more homely. Several more light strips illuminate the room. The most prominent part is a large round white table in the center of the room, surrounded by several comfortable armchairs. Several smaller tables and armchairs are scattered around the room.

Whisper’s bare feet feel the coldness of the linoleum floor. She looks around the room. There are movie posters on the walls which ease the atmosphere. Her attention is dragged by a large bookshelf that occupies a whole half of one of the walls, contrasting with a high-performance desktop computer in the corner of the room.

There is a poster on the wall depicting Wiccan on a yellow background, looking into the camera and flexing his biceps. The letters above him read WICCAN DO IT.

“Kill me,” Parker sighs upon spotting the poster.

Wiccan stands in front of the large table and theatrically spreads his arms. “Welcome to The Society,” he announces. “A law enforcement unit in the matters of inhumans, supernatural occurrences and misuse of advanced or secret technologies. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Excuse me, but what the fuck?” Parker scowls.

“It may sound ridiculous, but you will soon find out,” Wiccan says, then he takes one of the seats and invites the rest to join. They sit like King Arthur’s knights - that was probably the purpose of this hall. Whisper squirms with barely contained excitement. Gary looks bewildered like always, Parker and Sienna just carefully wait for whatever might come next.

Wiccan casts his eye over the people he brought here. He already knows they are powerful as individuals. But the question remains - are they able to work as a team? Parker can’t be farther from a team player. Sienna’s arrogance could make her feel superior to others, which is wrong in a team. Gary has the opposite problem - his pathological timidness. And Wiccan already knows how whimsical can Whisper be.

This may be tough, but I believe the circumstances will make them a team after all.

Just a moment after they take a seat, one of the doors present in the room open and another person enters.

It’s a tall, graceful Afroamerican woman with a lean figure and a playful smile on her lips. Her long, pitch-black hair is tied into a messy top knot and she’s wearing a long, dark purple dress with wide short sleeves. The golden jewelry she’s wearing around her neck and wrists is especially prominent on her dark skin.

“So I see you brought the recruits,” she says with a sweet, smoky voice. “Mind if you introduced us?”

Wiccan smiles. “Okay. Let me introduce you to my beloved wifey, Ophelia Salisbury. Ophelia, meet the new recruits who will, hopefully, carry our legacy in this city. Parker Skellinger, Gary Underwood, Sienna Joy Corwin and Whisper Johanna Archer-Gutenberg.”

“Corwin?” Whisper squeals.

“Archer-Gutenberg?” Sienna shouts.

Ophelia giggles. “Looks like we have Juliet and Juliet here.”

“I think so,” Wiccan grins. “Girls, I know your families don’t get along particularly well, but could you try and leave these skirmishes behind? The less tension, the better.”

“Okay,” Whisper accepts immediately. “I won’t hate anyone just because my dad does.”

Sienna hesitates a bit longer. Her father, James Corwin, told her countless times that Jack Archer, Maria Gutenberg and their children are nothing but a bunch of sneaky opportunists who constantly try to sabotage the effort of the Corwin family.

However, Whisper doesn’t even look like one of them. That petite, barefoot girl with a dreamy smile on her face can never possess a threat to her family’s business. Sienna presumes she’s more like a black sheep of the family and has a leaning towards her uncle instead.

Parker sums it up when he frowns at Whisper and says: “Are you trying to tell me this is a child of Jack Archer, the famous entrepreneur? She looks like that type who hugs trees and doesn’t shave her armpits.”

Whisper returns him the furious gaze, then raises her arms to show Parker smooth, hairless underarms. “My skin sees a razor more often than your skin sees water,” she spits out.

Sienna giggles at both Whisper’s outburst and Parker’s reaction. She decides she likes that girl, no matter who her parents are. This is also the first time I admit that I like a loser, she realizes. She’s shocked about how much did her personality change in just two days.

“I guess they will have to work on their synergy,” Ophelia comments. “Remember when the Team Menhir formed? We became best friends practically overnight. You, me, Kirlian, Tara and Kazuki. We were so young, so unprepared for what was going to happen.

Wiccan kisses her on the cheek. “Yeah, some time passed indeed. But now, we can enjoy our retirement and let these do the dirty job,” he grins.

“This… this is starting to scare me,” Gary yowls.

Parker lets out a contemptuous cackle, but he also radiates nervosity. Just like Sienna who is usually confident about everything she does. The only exception is Whisper whose eyes shine with almost childish curiosity. Is it because of her personality, or because she already knows the mysterious man who brought them here?

“Come on, don’t be afraid!” Ophelia smiles at them with her perfect teeth. “Nobody is going to hurt you… at least not here.” If she expected her remark to ease the atmosphere, she was wrong. Gary looks like bursting into tears any minute now. Parker gives up his fight and lights himself a cigarette. The married couple gives him a look of disagreement, but they remain silent.

“One more thing before we start,” Wiccan says. “The Society’s teams always have five members, and, if you can count right, there are only four of you. That means…”

“You will be joining our team!” Whisper cheers.

“Not at all,” Wiccan puts her down. “The fifth member should be here soon, so in the meantime, why don’t you take a look around? This is going to be your workplace, after all.”

Parker, Sienna and Gary leave their seats rather reluctantly. Whisper literally jumps and starts to zealously scavenge the room. She’s weird indeed, but somewhat lovely, Sienna thinks. Out of her teammates, Whisper gave her the best impression so far. But then, there’s not really much to choose from.

Author’s Note

I wholeheartedly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and if you did, please leave a comment, send me a message or share and let more people know about this story! You can also consider a small donation at www.paypal.me/lukassladky. Have a great day and stay tuned for the next chapter!

[josugayy]

Craziness at Midnight [RvB]

Pairing: Blue Team X Fem!Blue!Reader Fandom: Red Vs Blue (RvB) Notes: Welcome to Hell, AKA Blood Gulch! Warnings: Language, Typical Reds and Blues

You would think, after spending years with this dysfunctional group called Red Team and Blue Team, you would get tired of things. But no. Everyday is a new adventure, whether someone liked it or not.

Take for instance, your arrival to Blood Gulch and Blue Team. Believe it or not, you were one of the first to arrive, yet Church and Tucker still insisted on calling you “Rookie.”

You were there during the time that Flowers was alive, or at least when you arrived, it was three hours before he died.

It was a bit traumatizing to witness on your first day, but while Flowers seemed like a nice and understanding guy, he looked like he had something else planned, something not good.

Not that you minded anymore, because he was long gone - and you were still stuck in this godforsaken Hell of a canyon. And if the canyon wasn’t bad enough, it was the people.

When looking back to the time before the arrival of Caboose, Church and Tucker liked to claim things were peaceful; which was complete and utter BS, because if  anybody on Blue Team liked to bicker, it was those two. They always seemed to find little things to bother the other about, which was exactly why you stayed out of things.

It was hard, at first, staying out of their conflict when Tucker tried to flirt with you constantly and Church considered you the only other sane person here, although he grumbled about you never bothered to actually talk to him so he didn’t want to say much.

And it was true, you were being selfish. But did you care? No. You spent a lifetime training during your life to help the UNSC, only to be sent to the middle of absolute nowhere because your fiery temper caused a large fight. It wasn’t your fault this army was full of misogynist assholes!

But you supposed that knocking five guys out and mortally injuring another was a bit unnecessary...

Life seemed to consider that was alright, though, because it came back to bite you in the ass by Tucker finding your reason as a good excuse to say he liked woman with a hot (in both ways) temper.

And after Caboose came along? Things turned way more hectic. Caboose was quite the character, having what turned out to be O’Malley inside his head, and thus setting him free because everyone’s radio was on.

And figuring out who he was without O’Malley was entirely another story. On the plus side, you found you were relatively okay with kids, or at least as close to a five-year-old-in-a-man’s body could get.

You couldn’t exactly claim it was easy to take care of Caboose, it wasn’t like raising a kid, it was like having your kid be the same way every day, never growing up. It made things routine, but at the same time a tad frustrating because there were some things Caboose just couldn’t comprehend.

But, you found out the hard way you simply had to deal with it, for Tucker didn’t care and Church had a quicker temper than you. Thus, you managed to develop a sort of bond with Caboose, which brings you to now.

“Miss [Name]! Miss [Name]!” Caboose’s excited voice called out, waking you up from a nap. You sat up groggily, rubbing your eyes. What could be so important to wake you up for?

It was useless to fight Caboose off, however, because that could go one of two ways; Caboose disappointed or Caboose using his abnormal strength to get you up. You preferred neither, so you took out your [variation of blue] armor and opened your door just in time to see Caboose there.

“Hello!” He responded cheerfully.

“Yes, hi, Caboose. What is it?” He seemed to think for a few moments.

“Uh... oh! Right! Well, Church and Tucker are doing this thing and they want me to help, and they said you would make me cookies for it but I didn’t like Tucker’s tone so I thought I’d come to you.”

Lately, those two have been making all sorts of weird plans that have you concerned - not necessarily for them, but for yourself. There’s an unbelievably high chance of something blowing up in this canyon, and you wanted nothing to do with it.

“Thanks, Caboose. I’ll check it out, because those two haven’t talked to me.”

“Okay! But you’re still making cookies right?”

“Of course.”

--

“Oh. My. God. This whole thing was stupid from the start! I cannot believe you right now.”

“Ok, this? This wasn’t my fault. You were the one to forget the batteries, not me!”

“You literally ripped a hole in the sleeping bag!”

“So? We have more!”

“No, you dumbass, we have four. And now we’re short one!”

“What does it matter anyways? It’s only just gonna be the two of us?”

“Could you be any more dense?  First, we asked Caboose to help, who will insist on coming because I’m his best fri- fr- you know what forget it. Plus, he literally just ran off calling for the rookie! She’ll end up coming along too!”

“Good! And maybe, since according to you this whole thing has been ruined, it can be just me and her!”

It wasn’t hard to find Church and Tucker; those two were arguing so loudly you wouldn’t be surprised if the Red Team heard them. But you were a bit cautious about whatever they were doing, and you were not willing to be left alone with Tucker.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not letting you alone with [Name]! She’s the only other person who’s sane here, and I will not have you turning her insane because you annoyed her past her limit.”

“Annoy? Woah man, I don’t annoy people. My flirting skills are just so great that all the ladies play hard to get!”

Seriously, just how long will these guys believe that no one hears their conversations? Considering how bored everyone gets, you and Caboose couldn’t have been the only ones to hear them.

“Hey! Second best married couple!” You yelled, making them stop abruptly.

“Second best?”

“Yeah! You ever heard those guys from Red Team? They argue twice as much as you guys do! I was walking the other day, and all those two do is stand around and bicker like some old married couple.”

“Isn’t that what we do? Stand around and talk all day?”

“Yeah, but ours is more consistent. All they do is argue while we come up with shitty plans.”

“Makes sense.”

“Well anyways,” You got back to the task at hand. “What the hell are you two up to?”

“Nothing!” They both rang out, obviously doing a bad job of keeping a secret from you.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” you complained. “I heard you two chatting about batteries and ripped sleeping bags. I also heard my name involved, and I’d like to know what I’m being forced into.”

“Well,” Church said after a thoughtful pause. “We’re looking for a way out.”

You almost thought he was joking. “ A way out?”

“Yeah.” Tucker responded. “We’re sick and tired of all this sun, and thought we could leave through the caves. It’s a hella lot cooler in there, and we haven’t looked at them enough to say there isn’t a path out of this closed off area.” “...Alright. I want in.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Look, everyone could use a break. Plus, that’s just the thing. We don’t know what’s out there, so who’s saying we won’t get killed? As one of the only capable people here (probably the only one actually), I have to make sure you don’t die.”

“Aw, how sweet-”

“Shut up Church. It’s that, and I don’t want whatever we find to kill me.”

“Oh. Well, we do have supplies for everyone here, considering we can’t leave Caboose here without the base blowing up-” A loud explosion towards the back of the base sounded. “Tucker did it!”

“As I was saying,” Church continued. “But we’ll need a way to leave without the Reds expecting anything. The last thing we need is even more idiots showing up.”

“Oh that’s easy,” Tucker scoffed. “Just make some scarecrows with our colors and helmets on them.”

“Yeah, but don’t make them too convincing. Some of us here are dumb enough to get them mixed up.”

--

“So...” Grif trailed off, getting more bored by the second as Simmons stared through his sniper rifle. “You find whatever it was that exploded?”

“Nah,” Simmons answered. “Probably another one of the Blues’ failed projects.”

“You sure? Usually they’d be yelling at each other.”

“Well, it looks like they’re just standing around and talking, so I’d say yeah. Nothing productive going on there.”

“Same here,” Grif mumbled under his breath.

“Well, I’m gonna... go downstairs and eat. Since nothing ‘productive’ is going on. This watch is stupid.”

“What? You can’t leave.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Why not? Grif, literally all you do is nothing all day. Sarge would be pissed at you. The least you could do is bear this until Sarge calls us down for his new plan.”

“Simmons! Grif! Get down here ASAP!”

“Speaking of which...”

--

Meanwhile, in the back of the Blue base, everyone was “having fun” with arts and crafts. And by fun, you meant Caboose was having fun, Church was done with his, and you and Tucker were arguing over your scarecrow.

“Haven’t you ever thought about how perverse and rude that is?!”

“Well, we want this to fool the Reds, right? So they have to be accurate!”

Tucker was trying to convince you to use something to mimic your breast size for your scarecrow. This caused a lot of commotion, and thus why neither you nor Tucker had finished your scarecrows.

“...And, done!” Caboose called, satisfied with his coloring. He put down his blue crayon and Church helped him put the shirt on the scarecrow.

“Hey, you guys done with your spat?” Church turned to you both.

“You know what, forget this!” You threw down the extra helmet you had to the ground. “You want it accurate, make it yourself!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“I’ll be inside, packing my and Caboose’s bags. Caboose; orange juice or milk?”

“Orange juice, please!”

“Alright.” You nodded your head. “If you need me, I’ll be inside.”

There was a moment of silence as you walked inside, and Church seemed to be stunned at the relatively calm (at least for them) results. But after thinking about what he would do if he commented, he decided to leave it be and pack his own bag.

When everything was all said and done, the tension between you and Tucker managed to slip away (as it does for everyone), and you all gathered in the back of your base once again.

“Okay. So, Tucker, you and me are going to set up the scarecrows, while Rookie and Caboose are going to get Sheila to drive beside them as they head to the caves to shield them.”

“Right.” Tucker nodded.

“You got that, Caboose?” “Of course. Wait, what are we doing again?” A collective sigh sounded out.

Tucker and Church carefully picked up a scarecrow in each hand, and tried to use them as cover as Tucker placed two on the roof, and two facing towards the others (backs to the Red base).

Sheila drove slowly, with Caboose and you slowly moving beside her, and once you two got to the caves, Sheila started heading back.

However, halfway she turned a different direction, much to Church and Tucker’s confusion and frustration.

“Sheila!” Church quietly yelled. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m giving the illusion that I am mindlessly driving around,” Her monotone voice responded, but to the others it sounded a bit smug and teasing.

“But we need your cover!” Tucker said, growing more impatient by the second.

Sheila gave no response, but continued turning in different directions. After a couple of moments, she finally faced the caves and started heading that way. But she drove a little too quickly, and they had to jog with her.

Upon reaching the caves, you voiced your complaints. “What took you so long?” You hissed.

“Sheila was being a bit of a bitch,” Church answered. When Sheila turned to aim at Church after his statement, the three of you headed deeper in, where Caboose was staring at the ceiling.

“Caboose, what the hell are you doing?” Tucker asked.

“Finding the way.” He simply responded.

“The way?”

“Oh yeah, There are weird carvings on the ceiling of each area, so I look at them to find my special spot.”

“...” All of you were speechless at his sudden intelligence; his plan made perfect sense.

Caboose turned to his left and ran off. “Now let’s go find those star unicorns!” And there it goes.

“Well, that was weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

--

“Hey, what are the Blues doing?”

“Oh, same as usual. Standing around and talking. Look, it’s like they’re immobilized.”

“Are they?”

“Can’t really tell, they’re too far away. But since there’s nothing better to do in this place, I’m assuming that’s what they’re doing.”

--

“Ugh, I’m tired. How much longer is this?” You complained, feeling a bad ache in your feet.

“I can always carry you if you want,” Tucker suggested.

“And give you a chance to grope me? Nah.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Maybe we should take a break,” Church observed as Caboose grew more and more tired. “Caboose, how long will this take?”

“The next area. You can tell by the pretty lights.”

Everyone trudged into the place thankfully, and barely managed to open their sleeping bags before passing out. You had a relatively peaceful sleep until Caboose woke you up.

“Miss [Name]?”

“Ugh...”

“Miss [Name]?”

“What.”

“It’s cold.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“But my arms and legs are freezing!”

You sighed. Clearly, Caboose couldn’t understand sarcasm and denial.

“And what do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, I wanted to share with Church, but he looked scary in his sleep, and I don’t want to be with Tucker. He gropes people.”

“So you want me to share with you?”

“Yes.” Wow, Caboose does not know how to beat around the bush, does he?

“... You’re lucky I’m the only one willing to deal with you. C’mere.”

Tucker woke up, or just barely enough to understand you were about to cuddle with Caboose, and immediately complained. “Oh, so you’ll sleep with him?”

“It’s not like that and you know it! Besides, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t ripped a sleeping bag in the first place.” That shut him up, but not Church.

“Are you seriously cuddling with Caboose?”

“What’sa matter? Jealous?”

He quickly turned away, and you heard a stern “no.”

“That’s what I thought.” You said, and gazed at the ceiling.

Caboose wasn’t kidding when he said the place had pretty lights. Right above your heads was a bunch of white lights that represented stars; not too bright to keep someone up, but just visible enough to remind someone of actual stars.

In all, you learned that there was night in Blood Gulch. It was just in the caves. And having to travel with the people you’ve been stuck with to see it? Wasn’t so bad. Or, you considered, it could be worse.

You would still never be used to the craziness that is in Blood Gulch, but you sure as heck would be able to look back on these days in interest, and appreciate moments like these.

Your canyon was full of mysteries, both in what environment it has and the people stationed here. But did that matter?

Not to life, who likes to screw you all over in weird ways.

--- Words: 2635

Not quite sure I got their characters right, but I had fun with this. Tell me if I’m missing any warnings and such, and feel free to request!

Thanks for reading!

[nishantwap]

Royal Wedding: Lip reader reveals Queen's advice to Prince Philip

New Post has been published on https://www.hsnews.us/royal-wedding-lip-reader-reveals-queens-advice-to-prince-philip/

Royal Wedding: Lip reader reveals Queen's advice to Prince Philip

Meghan couldn’t stop saying ‘Wow!’ and the words ‘amazing’ and ‘unbelievable’ were used on several occasions, reveals expert lip reader Terry Ruane ,who was watching TV footage of the proceedings. Here are some of the comments he observed being made…

As guests arrive…

A woman with Tom Parker Bowles is on her phone, saying: ‘I am not hungover today, so that’s really good.’

George Clooney greets James Corden, telling him: ‘You look great!’ Meanwhile, Amal Clooney is very chatty, variously saying: ‘Oh, how sweet’ and ‘How annoying’ – but it’s not clear what she’s referring to.

Harry’s uncle, Earl Spencer, chats with his wife about a friend who works in Africa.

Actor Idris Elba jokes about the venue, saying: ‘It’s not bad!’

As William and Harry walk towards the chapel, William indicates that either his shoes or trousers are ‘tight’.

Harry prompted Meghan before the newly-wedded couple shared a kiss on the chapel’s steps

In the chapel…

Princess Beatrice looks around, asking her father, Prince Andrew: ‘Where’s Mum?’, referring to Sarah, Duchess of York, who is seated diagonally across from them on the other side of the aisle.

The heavily pregnant Zara Tindall, daughter of Princess Anne, tells her husband Mike she ‘needs the toilet’.

David Furnish, husband of Sir Elton John, comments on weddings, saying: ‘That’s the greatest thing about weddings, they’re supposed to be (beautiful?) but you have to…’ before the camera cuts away.

Harry nervously asks William: ‘Is she here?’ William replies ‘No, not yet. I don’t know actually.’ William then suggests they ought to stand up when Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, comes into the chapel. Harry quips that he wants to see Meghan and her dress ‘before my hair goes grey’.

At the altar…

As Prince Charles hands Meghan to Harry, the groom replies: ‘Thank you, Pa.’

Standing side by side, Harry and Meghan gaze at each other and the prince says: ‘You look amazing. I missed you.’

Harry checks she is OK as he lifts her veil over her head, asking: ‘All right?’

During the service…

At one point the Duchess of Cornwall appears to get lost in the order of service book, seeking help from the Duchess of Cambridge, who replies: ‘I don’t know.’

Leaving the chapel…

At the top of the steps, Meghan asks Harry: ‘Do we kiss?’ Harry replies with a discreet ‘Yeah’. The Queen tells Prince Philip: ‘Keep waving.’

Meghan’s mother turns to Charles and describes the service as ��superb’.

Meghan appears to be overwhelmed by the size of the crowd, saying: ‘Wow! How busy! Unbelievable.’ Awed by the whole experience, she repeats the word ‘wow’.

At the end of the carriage ride, Meghan says: ‘So much FUN!’, putting her hand to her chest.

Finally, as the couple pass the last of the cheering crowds and into the private royal gardens, Harry says: ‘I’m ready for a drink now.’  

Princes Harry and William joked about Harry’s ‘tight trousers’ while they waited for the bride

Lipreaders have revealed Harry told his bride: ‘You look amazing – I missed you’ at the altar 

The royal bride replied ‘thank you’ before the couple said their wedding vows

Harry was meanwhile spotted telling his new wife he was ready for the reception as their carriage drew back into the grounds of Windsor Castle. 

As the horse-drawn carriage finished its climb up the Long Walk, Harry quipped: ‘I’m ready for a drink now.’

Meghan was obviously impressed by the crowds who had lined the streets, exclaiming ‘wow!’ as they emerged from the castle grounds.

They also swapped remarks about some of the signs being held by members of the public, with Harry commenting ‘huge’ at one point during the procession, and Meghan saying ‘how sweet’.

Lip-readers have also revealed how the groom was supported by his brother ahead of the ceremony. 

Harry, 33, said ‘I’m alright’ in a heart-warming exchange with his brother, 35, as they entered the church, but joked ‘my trousers are too tight’ as he complained his military uniform was on the small side. 

As they waited for the bridge to arrive, a nervous Harry asked his brother: ‘Is she here?’ Wills replied: ‘No not yet. I don’t know actually.’

The royal couple exchanged a few tender words with each other as the wedding service began

Meghan then arrived and, after entering the church with her flower girls and page boys, was walked up the aisle by Prince Charles, who stepped in at the last minute. 

Harry said: ‘Thanks Pa’, as Charles and Meghan arrived at the altar.

Meanwhile, a body language expert said Meghan ‘was the strength’ of her wedding ceremony and was constantly reassuring her new husband.

Despite the whole experience being completely new for Meghan, who today became the Duchess of Sussex, she did not display a single sign of anxiety or nervousness, body language expert Judi James said.

Ms James said Harry performed about 12 ‘nervous’ self-touching body checks, like pulling at his gloves and wringing his hands, within a few paces of getting out his car after arriving at St George’s Chapel in Windsor.

However Meghan, the latest member of the royal family, maintained complete calm throughout the ceremony to ‘help Harry through it’.

Harry was also spotted telling his wife: ‘I’m ready for a drink’ as they entered the gates of Windsor Castle after their carriage procession

Ms James said: ‘Meghan was amazing. Walking up the aisle by herself, I looked for every smallest sign of suppressed anxiety and nervousness – there was absolutely nothing.

‘I think she probably saw it as her role to help Harry through it rather than the other way round. She sat with her hand over his for quite a bit of the service as though she was reassuring him.

‘To me, she was the strength when it came to the day and the actual performance.’ 

Both Princes wore the black and gold uniforms of the Blues and Royals, similar to Harry’s outfit for Wills’ wedding to Kate Middleton in 2011.  

The uniforms they wore were tailored at Dege & Skinner on Savile Row, with the Queen giving them permission to wear their Army uniforms to the ceremony. 

Harry has decided to sport a beard, despite speculation he would shave it off in line with Army rules that ban facial hair.

Prince Harry (left) arrived at his wedding to Meghan Markle with his brother and best man Prince William (right) to rapturous applause in Windsor this morning

But as the prince is no longer a serving member of the forces, he is allowed to break with convention. 

As Harry’s best man, Prince William will be responsible for handing over the rings, which were earlier revealed to be the work of Cleave and Company.   

Harry is returning the favour to his younger brother after acting as his best man seven years ago. 

Prince Harry will become the second Duke of Sussex when he and Meghan have walked down the aisle, with his new wife becoming the first ever Duchess of the county in History. 

Harry’s frockcoat is made from blue doeskin. It is single-breasted in style with a stand-up collar, complete with figured braiding of Regimental pattern.

The brothers walked by crowds outside the chapel as they both prepared for the ceremony

The uniform was cut and made by hand. The sleeve pattern is intricate in detail and took one person one week to complete.

The frockcoat is ranked to Major with large gold embroidered crowns.

The badge on the left chest is Pilots’ Wings attained whilst serving with the Army Air Corps for flying Apache helicopters. 

The four medal ribbons below the Wings are, from left to right: K.C.V.O., Afghanistan with rosette, The Queen’s Golden Jubilee and The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.

The trousers, officially called ‘overalls’, are made from a blue and black wool barathea and are fastened by a leather strap and buckle underneath the boot. 

Both Princes (Harry left and Harry and William right) wore the black and gold uniforms of the Blues and Royals to the wedding in Windsor today 

The groom was pictured beaming with his brother and best man ahead of the ceremony

What did Harry and William wear? 

Both Prince Harry and Prince William wore the frockcoat uniform of the Blues and Royals, part of the Household Cavalry of the British Army.  

Her Majesty The Queen gave her permission for Prince Harry to get married in his uniform. They were both made by Dege & Skinner on Savile Row.  

Prince Harry

Prince Harry was dressed in the uniform of the Blues and Royals 

The frockcoat is made from blue doeskin. It is single-breasted in style with a stand-up collar, complete with figured braiding of Regimental pattern.

The uniform was cut and made by hand. 

The sleeve pattern is intricate in detail and took one person one week to complete.

The frockcoat is ranked to Major with large gold embroidered crowns.

The badge on the left chest is Pilots’ Wings attained whilst serving with the Army Air Corps for flying Apache helicopters. 

The four medal ribbons below the Wings are, from left to right: K.C.V.O., Afghanistan with rosette, The Queen’s Golden Jubilee and The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.

The trousers, officially called ‘overalls’, are made from a blue and black wool barathea and are fastened by a leather strap and buckle underneath the boot. They would have traditionally been worn on horseback.

The hat is a Blues and Royals Forage Cap (No.1 Dress cap). There is a white buckskin waist belt with Regimental buckle and slings but no sword.

The Duke of Cambridge

Prince William wore the same uniform with the addition of the hold Aiguillette on his right shoulder 

Prince William wore the same uniform as the Groom, also to the Rank of Major.

The Wings are those attained flying helicopters whilst serving with the RAF, the two medals below from left to right are: Queen’s Golden Jubilee and Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.

The Duke of Cambridge is also wearing the Garter Star.

As an Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, The Duke sported the EIIR cyphers on his shoulder straps along with a gold Aiguillette on his right shoulder.

Dege & Skinner

Dege & Skinner made the uniforms for Their Royal Highnesses when they were commissioned into the Blues and Royals, a moment captured on canvas by Nicky Philipps in her double portrait, which currently hangs in the National Portrait Gallery, London. 

Source: Kensington Palace 

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