#yeah yeah it's the internet and not everyone knows how to socialize well. even online

[mockguffin]

i hate to break it to myself but some peeps who interact with my stuff and the media i'm into ruins it for me sometimes... if not, a LOT

more specifically, the ones who refuse to behave and are lacking basic decency by asking incredibly weird shit in my tl

[broodybuck]

Title: Nighttime Routine

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Rating: E

Tags: 18+ explicit smut, couch sex, top Steve, bottom Bucky, dirty talk, recovering Bucky, social media

Bucky's always on his phone these days. Steve doesn't mind since he knows Bucky's not just mindlessly scrolling. He's discovering the new generation. Trying to understand the social norms, common trends, and latest news. It's educational for him and Steve knows this because Bucky always lets him in on what he learns.

"Steve, have you seen people post their nighttime routines online?"

"Yeah, Buck," Steve replies. He's reading a book while Bucky scrolls next to him on the couch.

"But they don't have sex."

"Sorry?" This makes Steve pause. He places his book down.

"They don't have sex. They all have tea, read a book or some shit, and then claim they fall right asleep."

"Well, I'm sure they're having sex, they just don't want to admit it to the internet."

"Why not?" Bucky asks incredulously, Steve's eyebrows raise. "If you didn't fuck me every night, I'd never sleep."

Steve smiles. He pushes his book aside and cups the back of Bucky's head, directing him to lay in his lap. Bucky falls easily and lets Steve comb his fingers through his hair.

"I know, baby," Steve says. "But not everyone is as passionate as you."

"It's not about passion, Stevie. Just need to be wrecked good enough so I can relax."

Steve hums, trying to ignore the warmth coating his skin with how poetically his lover put it.

"Some people believe talking openly about sex is vulgar."

Bucky makes a sound of disgust and timely rubs his cheek into Steve's crotch which only makes the blood rush faster south. On impulse, Steve's hand forms a fist in Bucky's hair and Bucky whimpers when Steve tugs it lightly.

"How are you feeling right now, baby... restless?" Steve asks.

Bucky nods in his lap, rubbing against his growing cock, making Steve hum low.

"It is getting late, maybe I should tire you out now," Steve muses.

"Please," Bucky whines and while lying on his side, he opens the fly of his jeans and shoves them down his thighs.

Steve nearly shudders, looking at his easy access to Bucky's ass. All he has to do is simply reach his arm down the couch.

And he does, wetting his fingers in his mouth first, he trickles them down the cleft and hooks one in past the muscled rim.

Bucky whines, mouthing at Steve's clothed cock all the while Steve begins to open him up. Steve unzips his pants impatiently and Bucky swallows him down eagerly like he'd been waiting for it. Steve groans as he watches his cock disappear behind Bucky's pink lips.

Steve doesn't let himself get off with Bucky's sweet mouth. He pulls him up by his hair and removes his fingers. Bucky shoves his pants off fully before sitting up. Steve drags him onto his lap.

He sits Bucky down on his cock, easing him down inch by inch. Bucky moans into Steve's chest, falling forward as his body slides down the thick shaft to meet the hairy base.

"Steve."

"I'm gonna take care of you, baby," Steve coos. "Gonna fuck you so good, I'll have to carry you to bed,"

"God, yes, please," Bucky begs.

Steve thrusts up into him, hard and fast. Bucky cries out, his arms grasping around Steve's neck. Steve doesn't slow down, fucking him at an unfair pace until Bucky's gasping, trying to warn him.

"S-St-Steve."

Steve hugs Bucky's body and flips them so Bucky's back lands on the couch. Then Steve spreads his thighs and fucks him senseless until his legs go limp in his hands.

When he's done, Steve happily carries his spent lover to bed. Bucky's cheek rests over Steve's shoulder, he's barely using any strength except to keep his legs hooked around Steve's waist as the man carries him up the stairs.

Steve rubs his back, praising him softly by his ear with each step.

"You did so good, Buck. Took me so well," Steve commends. "Gonna sleep like a baby now, huh."

Bucky hums, narrowly awake even on the way up to the bedroom. Steve lays him down on their king-sized bed and undresses him completely. When he's naked, Bucky curls onto his side. Steve fetches a rag, wets it with warm water, and wipes Bucky clean before draping the covers over him.

"Goodnight, Buck," Steve says, planting a kiss on Bucky's cheek.

Bucky sighs peacefully then instantly passes out.

[duchessofostergotlands]

Just read your last post on autism and well you sound like me. I don't even have a diagnosis because it could stop me from becoming a public servant which I want to be (governmental prejuidice is amazing, isn't it?). However, I also have ADHD as a possible side "quest" on my laundry list. Everything I learned about it in women in recent years screams my experience. However, no one thought to test me because I did academically well like you in school and didn't have issues conforming to classroom rules. Back then you had to be a boy, running around constantly and failing classes to even get a consideration for ADHD here. No one saw that school was my own personal dopamine farm and that I constantly quietly fidgeted with something.

Idk where I'm going with this here but yeah I just felt seen by your post. I think I want a diagnosis eventually after I got my public servant position but I'm also scared of looking for one. Because what if it isn't depression, autism, ADHD and/or even BPD? What if I'm just a lazy slob that peaked in school and someone who is just easily distracted and not great at social interactions I haven't played through in my head a thousand times before?

Hello :) The internet can be a terrible thing but the best part of it is there will be someone, somewhere, who has experienced what you are experiencing. So yes, totally relate to what you're saying. I have similar thoughts all the time. "Maybe I'm just lazy, maybe I'm just sensitive, maybe I'm just a bitch" lol. To be honest I think genuinely lazy people probably don't ever think about the fact they're lazy or get upset about it so it's probably an indication you're not. Like I often think "am I actually a good person?" but I don't think genuinely bad people ever consider that!

I did see something helpful a little while ago. The comedian Aisling Bea did an interview where she talked about her ADHD and the shame she felt when she believed she was just lazy. She said that she loves acting and she can get given a script and learn three pages of dialogue over night - her dialogue and everyone else's - and people are astonished. But you give her a simple task like filling in a form and she just can't do it. I suspect you might find you're the same way. If someone gives you a task you enjoy or find value in then you can probably do it more quickly and to a higher standard than other people. You are capable of hard work. But if it's a task you don't enjoy or think is pointless you will feel like there's some kind of forcefield stopping you from doing it. I also think if it was just laziness, if it was a choice, then no one would ever choose to be lazy about things which are detrimental to them. The call it took me 3 months to make was to register with a doctor. It was really important, it was harmful to me to not have a doctor, and yet I couldn't do it. If I could have gone online and done the whole process there I would have. But I couldn't do it because I had to make a phone call which I struggle with. So if you 1) find that you are capable of putting in hard work in certain things and 2) find that the kinds of tasks you struggle with are important tasks and not doing them is potentially detrimental to you, it isn't just laziness. I think it comes out in a lot of women when we leave school because we don't have structure, routine, someone caring for us. The fact so many neurodivergent women were high achievers in school and burnt out later in life is not a coincidence!

But also, something I don't see talked about that much is how sometimes we are lazy but that laziness is a totally natural response to how exhausting it is to be neurodivergent. Having to be constantly aware of how you talk, how you sit, how you write all day to fit in with a world that you don't fully understand but you know if you get it wrong you could lose your job, your home, everything. The stress, the anxiety, the energy involved in that. After years and years of dealing with this, you are going to crash. So when we do have a rare good day where we feel energised, sometimes we choose to do the fun thing instead of the task we have to do. Other people can be productive because they know that they will probably have the chance to be lazy later in the day or the next day or the next week. Whereas I don't know when I'll next have that opportunity. So sometimes we are being "lazy" but it's to try and repair the years and years of exhaustion and anxiety and stress that has built up! Other people are allowed to be occasionally lazy but we punish ourselves for it so much.

[damnfandomproblems]

Rounding up a few responses to Fandom Problem #5347 and ensuing replies

Anon:

5347 seems to be getting a lot of really whiny people getting upset they dared complain about people not tagging things properly. Even people who agree it’s a problem are being like “well it’s your job to cope with it. Just accept it.” My brother in Christ, this is the blog where people complain about issues. That’s the point. People are saying “you signed on for this by following the main tag” and aren’t considering they signed on to see people complaining about things they’ve decided you should just grin and bear for some reason by following a blog like this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Anon:

Yeah, not everyone is going to tag, but it should be expected Bring up the drunk driver point from earlier. People who don't tag should be treated similarly. There needs to be (social) consequences for fans who don't tag Yeah, there's always going to be drunk drivers but that does not mean they just get to do as they please If someone doesn't tag something, or they tag it incorrectly, kindly ask for them to fix it and if they choose to not properly tag, stone wall them fuck out of fandom. Report their un/under tagged posts for spam (or worse if it applies, e.g., sexual content if it's nsft), block them, get your friends to block them too, and make it so they no longer want to hang around because their rude ass is getting no attention. Fandom should be inhospitable towards people who can't take the three seconds to add a tag and show basic human respect for others Don't send hatemail, of course, or dox them or any of that bullshit, but drive them out through a mix of using the TOS and reporting and mass blocking. It should be expected to either tag or be ignored, just like how you should be expected to filter those tags as need be or suffer through being squicked/triggered with no one else to blame besides yourself and/or your guardian(s) depending on your age Everyone should drive with caution, but they shouldn't have to consistently expect drivers because people shouldn't be drunk driving, and drunk drivers should have consequences when they decide to drive drunk because it's both selfish and puts others at risk (Or, to translate the analogy for those not following along: everyone should browse with caution and have their blacklist up to date and be ready to block, but they shouldn't have to consistently expect to have to block people because people should be properly tagging their posts, and people who don't tag their posts should have consequences because they're being selfish and risking triggering/squicking people out because they want attention [if they have the time and energy to put it in the main tag, they have the time and energy to tag a few other things too])

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Anon:

The solution to seeing content you don't like that wasn't tagged properly is to... scroll past it and move on. Trust me, I know. It's annoying when you end up seeing content you didn't want to, or when it ends up cluttering up what you /were/ looking for, but being outraged about it is not a good solution. If you fixate on it, then you'll remember it and think about it more. If you just go "oh, that's not tagged, I wish it was" and scroll past and focus on the content you /do/ want to see, then you'll eventually forget you even saw it (unless it's something particularly egregious, but it's an inevitability of the internet that you'll come across that sometimes). If you're not mature enough to handle the idea of sometimes seeing things that weren't tagged properly, than I don't think you're mature enough to be on the internet. Also the internet is not /for/ children, it is a place where children are /allowed/ to be. It is not an adults responsibility to moderate their online presense just in case a minor ends up seeing something that makes them uncomfortable. Especially on websites that allow +18 content. Obviously an adult should make it clear that they're account is not for minors, and try to avoid interactions with minors, but adults should be allowed to make adult content for other adults without having to think about the hypothetical minor that might come across it.

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Anon:

May you explain me how to avoid a tag that's not here? Here's a silly example: I'm looking for #green, but I don't want to see #orange, so I filter out #orange in the contents and tags I don't want to see. Yet in the browsing results, it's still jammed with #orange, and most of the time untagged. How do I "not look"? Am I expected to block every single blog talking about untagged #orange? When I'm just looking for #green stuff?

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Anon: (replying to this ask)

I'm sorry, but I can't take anyone who calls the person they're arguing with "sweetie" seriously. It makes it sound like you're about to try and sell me essential oils to cure cancer and depression. I don't know why people do this, but it always makes me laugh.

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Anon:

"Your oh so precious "block button" could probably be effective if people TAGGED just like I block tags I don't like. Blocked tags won't work if they don't exist in the first place." Reply: Blocking tags is one thing, but can't you just block users? Sure it happens after the fact and you've already seen whatever it is, but you can't preemptively stop unwanted interactions every time. There's always going to be some kind of content you never knew existed and it will pop up and yell 'boo'. I feel like if you can't handle the risk of seeing stuff that grosses you out or annoys you (and that's fair, more power to you), maybe it's best you just don't go in those tags or subscribe to them? You have a right to be pissed off that people don't tag, etc, but if you constantly dwell on that and don't take measures to stop exposing yourself to that kind of thing (reasonable measures like not looking at or subscribing to certain tags), it's not healthy man.

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Anon:

"People are going to drink drive anyway" is not a reason to remove legal consequences for drink driving, or to stop teaching new drivers why it's important to stay sober, or to ask anyone who gets hit by a drunk driver "What, were you too precious to just drive defensively?" "There will always be people who don't follow basic tagging etiquette" is not a reason to stop educating new fans about what that etiquette is, or to expect anyone not to get annoyed when a significant number of people cannot be bothered to follow very simple tagging courtesies. So many of you in the responses think everyone should be responsible for their own fandom experience? Then why are you coming to a blog that's specifically dedicated to giving people a space to complain about fandom problems that they find annoying, and having a problem with people complaining about fandom problems that they find annoying?

[cohandshake]

I’m aware that this is going to be a horrendously unpopular opinion—which is why I’m doing it on a dead side blog rather than my main

I honestly don’t understand people who listen to artists whose whole shtick is “I’m an awful person and everyone I know leaves me because I use and abuse them”, and then are shocked when the artist turns out to be an awful abusive person. Like, what were you expecting?

I keep seeing all these people saying “well, how was I supposed to know he was bad? How was I supposed to be able to tell?” And then they’re all like “ohhh woe is me, I can’t believe I loved these albums! I’m going to have to get rid of all this stuff I got and completely rearrange my whole life!” Like??? If you liked the songs so much that your whole room is plastered with posters and merch… surely you listened to the lyrics??? At no point was he ever trying to hide the fact he’s like this, it’s all over his songs.

One thing that also gets me, it’s that everyone is now like “if you support or like his stuff you’re a terrible person” and like. That’s valid. But YOU liked his stuff where he made no qualms or effort to hide this, before. Does no one have any kind of critical thought? Like, when you hear the lyrics, you just think “oh yeah, this is a totally normal line” and move on? To say that “oh he tricked all of us into listening and liking his stuff and being a rabid fan”, like you weren’t tricked. The only trick he played was being a “hot guy online” that everyone seemingly collectively decided was great because of that.

or is it being faced with the actuality that’s horrifying? by your own logic, you’re also just as complicit. — this isn’t to say that I don’t understand standing in solidarity with victims that have spoken out, and the purging of his work being part of that. I just think it’s a little hypocritical to get on your high-horses and say everyone is a peace of shit if they don’t immediately disavow his stuff, since the signs have been there from the start.

And this also isn’t to say that I didn’t like his music. I did and I do. In fact, I only know of him BECAUSE of his music (I found him when he was still covering pat the bunny and wingnut dishwashers union). I’ve had no illusions of him being a good guy, and still consumed his work— did I know just what kind of piece of shit he was? No. Maybe because I’ve only known him for his music that makes me so critical of most of the reactions. I didn’t have the chance to be pulled in by a “nice guy act” online like so many people seemingly have.

Speaking of his online personas, it does make me wonder how no one apparently thought he was bad before this? Like I’ve read some fics (not enjoying Minecraft doesn’t mean the fics aren’t good) and people generally and routinely portrayed him as this manipulative, erratic, controlling guy — even when writing him as the good guy, they still always included elements of these personality traits in the work. And now, I see artist after artist discontinuing and deleting works (and if this is what makes them feel better, fair play) saying that “they cant continue writing/drawing his character now they know the truth about him” but at the same time they were always so vocal about “I write about the c! not the cc!” Like if you were truly separating the character from the actor, would so many of you be speaking this way? Looking at the rampant amount of Harry Potter fanfics (not even starting on the manacled debacle), then no — the artist and the work are only connected when it’s live action amateurs.

And also, if you’re THIS distraught over some guy YOU DONT KNOW turning out to be terrible, get some help, that’s not normal i don’t think — or it shouldn’t be, the internet and social media has normalized being strangely attached to strangers and celebrities that you otherwise wouldn’t be.

[northernreads]

book review

★★★★★

I'm having a hard time putting all of my thoughts into a coherent review so it is likely going to be a bit of a ramble.

While reading this book I couldn't help but be slowed down by all of the explanations for different bookish and publishing terminology, and I kept getting frustrated by it. Even though I know people outside of the bookish/publishing world don't necessarily know what all of this insider jargon means (like what ARC stands for), it felt clunky to have it spelled out. I would be reading and thinking to myself "yeah, yeah, I knoooow, you don't need to tell me" but of course not everyone does know all that stuff. And I think this sticks out so much because the audience for this book is incredibly niche. This a book written for and about the publishing industry as well as the bookish community that halos it (in particular the 'bookternet' community) all of whom don't need all of that jargon explained.

I am genuinely curious to know what people outside this community do think of this book. Does all the satire still make sense? Does it feel so cutting? Does it sting for an outsider too? I just don't think I would have gotten as much out of this book if I wasn't already so aware of everything it is satirizing and it is absolutely part of what made this reading experience so incredible and enjoyable for me.

This book is calling out the publishing industry and it's supposed goals of getting diverse stories. The token representation that is all too often still packaged for white audiences is an obvious and necessary target that Kuang takes aim at. And boy are shots fired. Also tackling the pigeon-holing of "diversity" writers as well as the issue of trauma stories so often being chosen over stories of joy or just plain existing. I hope at least some people in the industry take a good long look in the mirror, but let's be real. So few ever will.

This book is also talking to the online bookish community and it's chronic online-ness. Kuang doesn't stop at those working in publishing either. Another part of a writer's job today seems to be about promoting themselves online and maintaining a social media presence. So of course she fired shots at the 'bookternet' community too.

I was honestly impressed by how succinctly she captured the ridiculousness of being in bookish spaces on the internet. It really just captures Chronic Online-ness, which is so prevalent and loud in bookish internet spaces. Especially on twitter. I have never really gotten involved with book twitter because I never really liked twitter's format, but I have seen the drama spill out into other bookish internet spaces (like booklr) from time to time. And Kuang just got every angle of it so accurately it had me cackling. I have watched the cycle of outrage and posturing and virtue signaling followed by the inevitable turn around against the very person that was previously being defended so. many. times. I remember getting caught up with it the first couple of times over ten years ago and then realizing how shallow everyone's outrage was (including my own) and have become a morbidly curious observer over the years instead.

As I was reading these scenes I was wondering how people that still participate in these drama cycles felt about being so very called out about. And judging by some of the reviews here, it's safe to say that it's not just publishing workers who refuse to look for very long into the mirror after reading this book.

Kuang has been criticized for being too heavy handed in her writing not only for Yellowface but also her previous book, Babel. In Babel I could see why some people felt the themes about colonialism were 'too in-their-face', but that heavy-handedness, to me, was done with purpose. Kuang was not going to let people look away from the violence of Imperialism. She was going to make you confront it again and again and again. It was not a story with a goal of giving readers comfort. Since so many books are published with a white audience in mind, Kuang made sure that white people were forced to take a long look in the mirror, acknowledged their privilege, and learn about the damage of colonialism. That obviously made some white people very uncomfortable.

Yellowface seems to be a very clear response to that criticism. I did not find this book nearly as heavy-handed, instead of hitting readers of the head with The Point as was done with Babel, Kuang just keeps dropping bombs and leaving it with the reader to decide if they will take the time to mull it over. She seems to being saying 'Okay here is The Point. I am not going to spoon feed it to you. But do you even get it though?'. She's not force-feeding us this time, but she's not hiding it in a vague metaphor either. If you don't take the time to contemplate over everything, that's not on Kuang. She's meeting us readers halfway on this one.

I loved getting this book from June's perspective too, it was so well done. She was so diabolical and awful and yet, Kuang is so good and making you wonder if maybe June does have a point. She doesn't though as June is completely unlikable and that's what made this book all the sharper and more compelling.

And that ENDING. Wow. Like a cockroach.

Overall this book was brilliant and ballsy.

This is now my favourite book by Kuang and my absolutely my favourite book of the year.

[ghostcrows]

i have really complicated feelings about, the old internet thats dying and the new internet struggling to be born

anonymity is kind of a blessing and a curse. its a right that we should all have online but its one that can come with the potential for misuse of power

but even when your full name and socials are out there to be found, it doesnt /really/ stop bad things from happening right. maybe it stops some people but plenty will do and say things with their full chest and have no problem with that. and people can still just lie. you can still just tell lies lol.

theres traumatic shit we never should have seen as unsupervised kids online theres a whole generation now of people who got sucked into dark corners of the internet and came out the other side fundamentally damaged from it ..but i still cant really get on board with "you need to monitor your kids every move online" because i think back to my childhood and how much of a refuge it was to have a place my parents and relatives couldnt find me and i could just be me. how many people right now would have 0 community support whatsoever without people online 0 irl friends and yeah we talk about touch grass get irl friends but be fucking for real sometimes...isolated and marginalized teens sometimes have nowhere else to go

the thing is though like i said full names being well known it doesnt mean theres no longer an ability to abuse power and if anything that ability is often heightened by having influence like that. so even when everyone knows you hurt someone its like oh he's cancelled for a year and then we'll stop caring

sometimes i kind of just have this attitude i know is not so healthy but im like maybe normies (calling people normies. online behavior) should just get off the internet forever cause they turned it into a fucking product...like i almost miss having it to myself pretty selfish but its just a feeling i have sometimes

[runthepockets]

Honestly, as a man, I think most of my greivances have been with online leftism and the attitudes the queer and feminist spaces have towards men in them have been more damaging than almost anything else in my life. I've stopped thinking about my middle school bullies, and everyone knows my abusive mom and ex girlfriend are insane, but the attitudes I'd been faced with on the internet as a teen still seem to sit with me.

It's the constant judgement. The perpetual social hierarchy of how men are only ever oppressors and be wrong in situations. "Never trust a man who says all his exes are crazy, be wary of men who speak poorly of their mothers" while women who say all their exes are crazy and speak poorly of their fathers are only ever met with sympathy and the usual "lol yeah men are trash". Masculine hobbies and modes of presentation being put down to uplift feminine ones, "when you see a 10/10 girl with a 4/10 guy" comments just cus the guy looks like a dude who works at Target rather than a goddamn movie star, penises and facial hair and deep voices are yucky disgusting, The Ick, "hate when big groups of men are laughing, what's so funny, rape and misogyny?" Videos of dudes crying and talking about how they're having a hard time is just met with ridicule and emasculating commentary from both men and women who posture themselves as kinder and smarter than the status quo, "weh weh raise the male suicide rate they're all rapists and abusers anyway", other dudes siding with women who do this shit cus they're more concerned with being One Of The Good Ones than they are having a fucking spine or a sense of individuality, not realizing they're just the male equivalent of pickme girls.

Idk man it just hurts me. I've been abused by a lot of women, had my sexual advances blown wildly out of proportion because the women in question either regretted engaging with me later or wanted to keep running with this narrative that they have no agency and are perpetually victims in their own lives even though I haven't really done anything to make them believe this, and all it gets me in these spaces is blank stares and awkward silences, when I know if the genders were flipped I'd get nothing but endless support. I'm not as upset about one of my exes making false rape accusations against me as I was as a teenager, but I'm sometimes nervous around bringing it up in leftist spaces at all because I figure folks are just gonna find a way to warp it and make me feel like I imagined the whole thing and that my ex had every right to be a shit to me because she's a girl and girls doing anything is Girl Power, even when it's actively harming others.

I'm sure me being black and trans plays a big role in this too, but again, 1) I'm not a fan of putting emphasis on my marginalization for brownie points, 2) I actually am straight, masculine, gender conforming despite those marginalizations, so there's really no identifiers for me to hide behind and claim "false comparison" over, I actually am all those things that online queer and feminist spaces take issue with and it still sucks and has actively done damage to my self esteem over the years and 3) I've seen other men-- cis, white, whatever-- of all backgrounds talking about their frustrations with this too. It's just another form of socially acceptable bullying and I kinda hate it.

People ask why I go stealth irl, why I don't go out of my way to befriend a ton of queer and liberal people my age, and why I'm adverse to communities that pride themselves on being diverse and all accepting and shit, well this is why. Cus every time I talk about a problem or criticize reactionary sentiment in those spaces, I'm met with me just being ~a pathetic man who's too sensitive to letting marginilized people vent~, I'm told that I'm part of the problem, I'm told that if I stopped being so rape-y and entitled and if I just fell in line like a good little man that I wouldn't have any of these problems, no actual solutions or sympathy, just condescension.

Yeah, of course I identify with bro culture, speak highly of masculinity, and entertain playful douchebaggery after years of that. That stuff saved my life and isn't hostile to my existence or my desires. I'm loud, energetic, assertive, with a hazing / controversial sense of humor and morality, there is no timeline where I'm going to be defanged and docile and see it as acceptable to walk all over someone for things they can't help, no matter how "privileged" they are. These subcultures let me be a man in a way a lot of online (and honestly, irl) leftist spaces aren't really willing to allow or deal with.

[leonaluv]

its kind of a rant vent.

thank you so much! in 2003 whilst we were camping before moving a couple of guys had been filming me with a camera of that time period as we didnt have smartphones back then. i never told anyone about it cause who would believe me bc only i saw them. i have always wondered why they were there or where they were from? what happened to the camera after they ran off when i went back inside the cabin. how long had they been following me for or who sent them and how did they find me there when we had only just arrived. or if i hadnt run back in side would something bad have happened to me like maddie? i dont even know why i ran back inside the cabin just something about those two guys werent right.

the memory is kind of blurry as it was well over a decade but honestly my experiences with socialising after that became weirder and weirder. it was like whenever i went anywhere even to this day people either look at me like im some alien that speaks in a foreign language, i have had teachers hate my guts or downright ignore me or tutor who pretend to be nice but it was like they wanted me to fail yaknow? classmates endlessly gossiped about me, even when i was with friends my classmate would always say that it was a good thing i hadnt come in earlier bc so and so was saying such mean judgy things or in general just some very weird experiences. even if i did nothing wrong its like theyd just single me out of it or thered be grojps of ppl laughing at me when i was just trying to mind my business it went on for years even to the point i had to go to mental ward cause it was messing with my mind and still does as an adult. cause ppl dont realise how much negative situations can still affect u later on in life.

i think my birth chart really let me down cause its like i always got the short end of the stick in most if not all situations whilst others would succeed and be praised for their work or whatever it was i felt like a scapegoat for other ppls bullshit. i honestly despise how society has turned out. it is not any better than when it was without social media, the internet just gives knobhead bullies places to hide behind their screens.

society always said that ppl need friends and to rely on others or that being nice gets you far in life, bullshit it just means ur an easy target for ppl to be mean to u or to hold misjudgements about u or if u try to be urself and love urself ppl dont seem to like that either. u even see it when kpop idols try to be someone different than what knetz expect like hwasa for example nearly went to jail and all she wanted to do was be herself. see what i mean? its hard work to win people over and you can never force anyone to like you its all based off their first impression of you or what you can offer them in return for their attention and so on

its only going to be worse now with social media being so heavily relied on bc society can then choose who it ignores and who gets more attention than others it really mf sucks at times. it always seem like ppl who are awful or toxic get the most attention or for instance if someone done sometning bad or wrong that get more attention than those who done something good, even serial killers have fan bases. so i dont know anymore. back on the topic of kpop you just know that when idols do start dating publicly it aint going to go well bc internet once again seems to hate when others are happy and successful in their life. all in all i dont think any generation was perfect but i do think older generations had less hassle when they didnt have to constantly be online all the time like everyone is nowadays.

sorry its so long but yeah its been exhausting fr, kpops like a good distraction but only a brief distraction thank you so much again for letting me rant a bit!!

'how long had they been following me for or who sent them and how did they find me there when we had only just arrived. or if i hadnt run back in side would something bad have happened to me like maddie?'

thats good you got to safety , you have a good sense of awareness .

"cause ppl dont realise how much negative situations can still affect u later on in life." Yes this world can be really cruel and scary for sure , good that you got mental health so brave to take those steps.

yes Hwasa received a lot of hate , Im going post about what an older generation actress went through soon .

dont ever give up , because Hwasa say she create a new beauty standard in indursty where they want everyone to be size 2 and super pale . look like an anime character.

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 23 - striptease

stray kids 1.3k words gender neutral reader insert Reader x Lee Felix NSFW

🖤 warnings: workplace shenanigans, suggestive behavior, established casual hookup culture, this is all because of That tiktok i’m sure you know the one 🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

At first you don't see the phone.

Not that this would be too far out of the ordinary if it wasn't being filmed, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense when you realize that Felix is recording a TikTok.

He's the most stereotypical DeviantArt definition of the word "twink" - petite, slight, beautiful in the face and everywhere else - and when you walk into the green room to find him throwing it back to some remixed 70s groove, you thank your lucky stars to be on the same continent as him, let alone in the same fucking room.

When he finishes his little circle, gives his phone a little wave, and ends the recording, he turns around and promptly jumps three feet like a startled cat.

"Oh, shit!" he yelps.

"Sorry," you say, soulless and unapologetic.

"Were you watching me do that?"

"Only the last bit."

He groans, cheeks reddening. "Goddamnit."

"I thought it was cute!" you insist.

"It was just for the internet," he mutters.

"No, yeah, that makes sense. I'm just surprised you're into thirst traps."

You didn't think it was possible, but he looks even more mortified. "Don't call it that!"

"That's what it is, though!"

Felix snatches up the phone. "I'll just delete it."

You wilt. "No, hey, no. Don't do that."

"But now I feel dumb!"

That's absolutely the last thing you want. "You wanted to make it, right? Post it?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't let my stupid ass make you feel like it's bad," you say.

"It's easier to do when no one's watching," he says.

"Well, then I won't watch."

You turn around and cover your eyes with your hands. You can hear Felix scoff behind you, but you're committed.

"You don't have to-"

"Not looking, post it, do it," you say.

There's a beat of silence, and then Felix sighs.

"Done."

You uncover your face. "Nice."

He might not have posted it, but it's the principle of the thing.

"What'd you need, anyway?" he asks, tucking the phone into his pocket.

"Oh." You'd forgotten. You came in here for a reason. "You're done for the day."

"Fuckin' finally."

Apparently it's your job, today, to run around and deliver wrap calls to the rest of the production staff. Not that anyone's been very busy. Changbin was asleep for the entire second half of his shift, Minho had already taken a 'long lunch' and headed home during the final shoot, and Felix, well. Felix apparently uses his spare time to put that tight little body to good use online.

"Wanna head out?"

Felix plucks at the black shirt he's wearing. "I have to give this back. Borrowed it from Chan."

You grin. "Why?"

"I stained mine working on that one set. Green paint and white clothes are not friends."

"Just take it off and leave it with his stuff."

"Take it off here?" Felix asks, looking scandalized.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Then get out!"

"It's not like I haven't seen it all before," you shrug.

In that same way that high school band kids and drama kids tend to just date (or fuck, depending on how cool they are) around their social circle, the people who work at this for-rent sound stage are notorious for hooking up. You'd thought it was weird, when you were hired, but then management kept hiring increasingly hot people (Seungmin, and then Mina, and then Felix...) and suddenly you understood.

Dating is hard. Hot coworkers with good boundaries are so much easier.

"I guess," Felix cedes.

You smirk. "I could see it again."

Felix scoffs again, but the nonchalance in his voice is all an act when he asks, "Where's everyone else?"

"Only Jeongin was left, I was supposed to lock up."

"They're all gone?"

You shrug. "You were the last one. No one could find you."

It's not what you're expecting, but it is what you're hoping for, when Felix slams the door to this closet-sized green room and locks it up.

"I told you, they're gone."

"Can't be too careful," he says.

"Still, it's not like - mm!"

It doesn't matter what you have to say, because Felix is wrapped around you before you can get another word out, his gorgeous pouty lips against yours like he's been waiting all day for this. Maybe he has been. It's not the first time he's been waiting around to seduce you after a shift.

You wonder if it was really an accident that you found him mid-dance.

His freckled face is stunning, this close to yours, his black hair falling in his eyes. "What was that you asked for?"

Oh, he's playing with you.

"A closer look under this boring shirt," you say, hooking your finger in the neckline of the borrowed tee and tugging.

Felix gives you an evil, evil grin. "Can I give you a repeat performance?"

You can't believe he has to ask. "Deadass?"

"If you want."

There's only one shitty folding chair in this room, but it's in front of a really lovely wooden vanity, so that's where you sit instead, propping yourself up on the solid wood counter.

"Go ahead."

Felix scrambles for his phone again. "It's weird with no music, hold on."

It takes a second, but before long, that same song is pouring out of his phone, tinny and not too loud but enough so that you're not sitting in silence. This whole thing would be cheesy, except that Felix is into it. Nothing beats genuine mischievous intent, absolutely nothing.

He treats you to that same kind of slow, gyrating turn he'd done earlier, his lithe waist and high-waisted jeans making his ass stand out in a way that's kind of illegal. Halfway around, while his back is to you, Felix yanks the hem of that oversized shirt out of its French tuck and begins to lift it over his head.

By the time he's facing you again, the shirt is gone, baring the lean lines of Felix's chest, his ribs, his abs.

"Baby, holy shit," you groan.

He should consider a career in this, you think, as he winks at you and throws the t-shirt to the side. "You're a good audience. Got any ones?"

If you had any singles in your wallet, they'd be flying, but you don't, and you barely have the presence of mind to keep from drooling like an actual cartoon dog.

Felix hooks his thumbs into the tight waist of his pants, still grooving on the spot to his little backing track. His grin is evil as he unbuttons-unzips-shimmies the waistband down, revealing a glimpse of tight black boxer-briefs underneath.

They're looser, slower circles of his hips, this time, as he peels his jeans down. He gets them to his knees that way, and stops with his back facing you again. You're sure your mouth is hanging open, watching him bend neatly at the waist and pull the garment off his calves and all the way down.

Somehow, it's not even awkward when he leaves his sneakers and socks behind and steps out of the whole mess, dainty, in just his underwear. Stark black against his pale skin, the same color as his striking dark hair.

He tosses his cute little ass in one more circle, before he comes over to lean heavily into your lap and kiss you again.

Felix pulls you to your feet, and you let him. He turns you around, mid-kiss, as you suck his bottom lip into your mouth carelessly and scrabble over his freckled shoulders.

He marches you backward a few steps, so that you're standing about where he was, in the middle of the small room. He then takes a seat on top of the vanity, restarting the track back to the beginning, letting Earth, Wind & Fire set the scene all over again.

"Your turn."

[patriciavetinari]

Wait I think I figured out the subculture thing in the shower and I think the answer is capitalism as per usual.

So, teens are rarely the spark of the subculture. Not never, but rarely. If anything, it's the college students and some young adults who are very visible or aquired certain popularity to be accessible to the teens. But teens are certainly most important carriers of any subculture, teens are the ones bringing the loud statement of the subculture to their conformist homes and, well, distinguishing themselves from whatever is the 'norm', not even neccessarily the 'accepted' (hipsters rarely struggled with that other than at the hands of other subcultures) but the 'mainstream'. Hipsters were actually very particular about NOT being mainstream even if entirely inoffensive about their demeanor.

The problem I think now is that whoever might be the spark for any new hypothetical subculture, has to go viral or likely goes viral due to increasing prevalence of social media (which was NOT the case with hipsters who despised facebook - too mainstream - and maybe dabbled in twitter but likely just hung out on pinterest and select few on tumblr).

Subcultures I think are incompatible with going viral in approval. If everyone likes this and wants something similar or to emulate it – it's not 'sub', it's culture, it's mainstream. And the companies know that. Clothing and decor and 'lifestyle' companies have harnessed this and now that I think of it, it started precisely around the hipster era, heralding the end of it.

So if any personality teens like – musician, actor, artist, writer gets enough likes on twitter, thus securing the teenage working bees will start carrying their style in a little flock – companies also see that and start producing and advertising exactly that style of clothing, decor and lifestyle. Everything that is different get's glossed and castarted and thrown on shein, thus becoming mainstream immediately.

Especially if you pair that with the book bans, the 'unalived' and the 'seggs' and the sanitisation of internet and social media, rebranding tough questions as 'too difficult', when 'Huckleberry Finn' is seen as ~problematique~ for depicting racism, the whole deal of booktok, and this insufferable, gagged and castrated media as the main source of this kind of inspiration for kids – is it a wonder anything dostinguishable and even mildly offensive struggles to be born?

So if you can't discuss death - how can you be goth? If you can't discuss suicide - are you even emo? If you can't talk about vandalism or post even a measly 'ACAB' without getting banned - what hope is there for punk? If you can't access or discuss controversial ideas some would consider offensive – how can you build a loud identity around (the lack of) such ideas? Even the fucking hipsters had this controversial idea of 'I liked it before it was mainstream'- yeah, it wasn't a good idea, but I disagree with emos on several points as well, yet I will always applaud their commitment to the point of view. Giving your philosophy a dresscode is a ballsy move that requires questioning authority even if in the end that philosophy is reconsidered.

Subculture is a community, communities (based on common interests) are now formed online more than in person, under the watch of companies who do not want any controversy near their precious ads, teens have not known topic-centered forums, just the algorythm spoon-feeding them 'content' and shein advertising 'aesthetics' one can change daily with enough products, all while maintining the most generic preferences and opinions, not backing up those aesthetics with any controversial worldview or philosophy or idea, juat making playlist after playlist for every aesthetic out of the minstreamest spotify top 100 artists, claiming taylor swift has goth songs or something (she doesn't. ABBA is more goth than taylor swift).

So I think to form a proper, healthy subculture, teens need to leave social media, tiktok and instagram particularly and read a bunch of banned books about death and suicide and capitalism and worker's struggle and sex and gender and stuff. But they can't because those books are banned or overshadowed by booktok friends-to-lovers-YA, and they've taken their spaces away and instead put up H&Ms selling them aesthetics.

[fricc-darn]

This post is just gonna be me spitballing and yapping fr😭 If any of you guys catch my drift pls lemme know :"D

This isn't supposed to be a doomer post (cuz I don't like doomerism) BUT it may come off that way sooo yeah-

Looking back to when I was like a young kid, I was always so fascinated with the internet and fandom spaces especially! I do think the early 2000s and like early to mid 2010s of the net and online spaces where so whimsical. Esp as a kid from my background and what not. I thought it was cool to see people be authentic and sort of free in a way online? Obviously not to a crazy extent but much more than irl and stuff.

And I would read fandom posts and enjoy all the yummy content. At the time I couldn't really read very well (cuz like yk kids really can't read-) but I KNEW I wanted to be in fandom actively SAUUURRR BAD!! I looked forward to it. Despite the horrors of it all! Despite my ass lacking some social skills online as well (telling tone and vibes is kinda hard over text).

Now I got what I want (hurray :3!). Though sometimes I can't help but wonder if I belived in a fantasy. It feels diffrent than I expected? I wonder if it's because I'm not very active or talkative? Sometimes it still feels a bit lonesome? (IF ANYONE GETS THIS FEELING AS WELL P L E A SE TELL ME😭)

Then I really start to wonder. I'm soon reminded that no I didn't make up a fantasy of what being online would be. This is how it was to some degree! Yes, there menaces still existed, along with bigots (Racism and shit was DEF more...obvious? I don't like saying that either because it still is so easy to find). But when it came to just being chill and talking it was different. I just can't explain it. I feel like now people are a bit more antsy and upset :(. People argue about shit that genuinely doesn't matter. Or they ignore real problems in fandom (racism and bigotry again). Or the refusal to understand others and their exprinces, and genuinely try to relax.

And of course this ties into a greater social issues because none of these things exsist in a vacuum. A lot of negativity, moral superiority, hatred, and hypocrisy is a relection of how things have changed. It's a result of people being calcified by the systems at play. Everyone is struggling and things are actively deteriorating (not to be an alarmist). But look at how everything is fucking monetized or a commodity! Look at all the apps and sites everything is becoming centralized man. What about the people?

Kids don't have 3rd spaces, the myth of the digital native is RAMPANT, they're not being taught useful internet skills, they're not being taught basic literary skills. They don't even know where to get resources to start learning. This doesn't even include it all! So, where do they have to go? Now many of them are in spaces where they shouldn't be and talking about stuff they shouldn't be worried about at all. Stuff that most people shouldn't care about.

Same with older folk some people don't have those skills either. This plus adult responsibilities and ughh. No wonder why people act so nasty online sometimes. It's a sense of trying to have a little control in this life. A sense of venting. Or even an attempt at trying to build a better world (admirable yes but the way some people go about this is so backwards and not helpful).

This capitalist hellscape is ruining every single aspect of our lives. And I know what I'm saying isn't new. Everyone knows this. Everyone sees this. But it makes me wonder do people really care about eachother online? Do people really care about eachother at all? I know the answer is yes and I've seen some amazing things. Though sometimes it doesn't feel real?

How do people claim to care about disabled people and be all left leaning and not wear a mask or take proper covid precautions? Or constantly leave us out of discussions?

How do people claim to claim to support marginalized people and victims but also partake in hate bandwagons or other acts that can put them at risk of being hurt irl?

How do people claim to be pro mental health and still do the other things I mentioned. Or again disregarding the exprince of others and how it can affect them in more ways than one?

Who does benefit? This just isolates us further and it really benefits big corps in the end. Eating each other alive to make their jobs easier.

This whole thing reminds me why I joined tumblr. Like the vibe on here is different. Much better than other apps where you essentially become a brand instead of a person. Tumblr has weird mfs and I fw that hard.

I miss when people were freely weird and cringe. I miss when social media wasn't a fucking panopticon. I miss miss an old internet that we will never get back. And it makes me worry for the future of everything. Give people grace PLEASE😭!

I want people to be as authentic as they can be 😩 and that's why I'm yapping.

[alarrytale]

Engagement is down//

His last post anywhere got 2.3m likes which was more than most of his LOT posts from 2023. I don't know how else to measure engagement as he isn't on twitter or tiktok.

Some asks about Harry, engagement and fandom's reaction to his silence on genocide under the cut.

Hi, anons!

Engagement can be measured in many ways. Likes on posts is one thing. Likes are usually up when he hasn't posted for a while. When he does it consistently and often it's down to a medium level. I usually think of several different ways to measure engagement. Clicks on tabloid articles about him (how interested and invested are people in him?), google search results (how many are googling him), name drop results (how many are talking about harry styles across all media platforms), how many streams are his albums getting (is it up or down?), how much merch does he sell, when he does something is he trending on social media? etc.

I don't have the numbers for all this, but i feel like people are pretty apathetic about his current stunt, people aren’t reblogging or retweeting pictures of them or even hating on them (that would still be engagement). He's been off for a while so that might explain things, but i thought his football match appearance didn’t engage people like i would expect it to. Maybe i'm wrong.

Hi Marte. Considering online outrage doesn't necessarily transfer to the real world. Like there is endless online discourse about JKR but the HP game was one of the best selling games of 2023 despite petitions to cancel it and negative review brigading. It made over a billion on PC alone. A book she released some time ago went straight to number 1 best sellers list. The majority of people are still buying her products. They're making a HP tv series and she's part of it and I wouldn't be surprised if it does well. There is a lot of excitement about it. I guess you could say the same with TSwift. There is nothing but hate for her online and she's still the best selling artist worldwide. So I'm just wondering. Do you think this will be a similar situation with Harry where if he is cancelled online it won't make a difference to his career or do you think he won't hold up as well as the others? I guess it depends on how good his next album is. If his album is really good then people will buy it. I can see him getting a lot of online backlash if he goes back to queer coding when he releases his music.

Yeah, and that's why i wrote that we'll have to see how this impacts him. I don't think a major celebrity will be cancelled in a flash, and they'll go from everything to nothing. It all depends on what the "crime" is too. The HP game did well, but did it do as well as it could have done if JKR wasn't cancelled? Also she's a te*f, i don't think many people in the gp even know what that is. Many also unfortunatly agree with her. So the "crime" isn't percieved to be that severe in the gp's eyes. I think Lizzo is a better example. She's internet cancelled before she's even convicted of anything. She might bounce back (doubt it), but i don't think she'll do as well as previously. Harry is accused of being a zion*st and supporting genocide. I think that's a worse "crime" among the gp and his target audience than the crimes of jkr and lizzo.

I think it all depends on a lot of things. How the situation in Gaza develops, how many other fuck ups H does, how much he stunts, how much he "queerbaits", how good his album is and how he choose to promote it. Despite people not being happy with him for different reasons right now, i don't think it will impact him much. We'll have to see. I'm pretty sure that no matter how he does, he could have done even better if he fixed his zionis* reputation and the queerbaiter reputation.

He'd probably lose all his wealthy American fans if he spoke out against Israel so he's not doing to do it. Not everyone supports Palestine. Tumblr gives a false impression because 70% of users are under 21 (according to tumblr polls).

I'm not saying he needs to speak out against Isr*el. Or support Palestine. I'm saying he should demand a ceasefire and state he doesn’t support genocide. That's saying murder is bad, and that both parties needs to lay down their weapons. It's a pretty neutral and basic statement.

Not everyone supports Palestine, that's true, but most people are against genocide and want a ceasefire. Regardless of that, H's target audience are millenials and gen z, where most people want a ceasefire and to stop genocide from happening. If he loses some zio*ist fans then so be it, he's already lost a million for not speaking up. I can't imagine there being that many zion*sts among his millenial and gen z fans. It's not the fans that's the reason he's not speaking up, it's his label, management and friends and the brand deals he has.

If engagement is down its because his own fans are constantly hating on him and trying to cancel him. So where are fans who don't see things in black and white and are ready to write him off supposed to engage in harry fandom content?

Jeez, anon. Idk, i think a genocide is pretty black and white, it's murder. Either you are for or against. Most people think murder is bad in all circumstances. I think stopping genocide is a bit more important than you getting your harry content...

[finelinens1994]

i'm half asleep and just thinking about the internet and how much it has changed even in just the last ten years, here's my rambling about it:

i truly believe people overall have become significantly more prone to aggressive emotional outbursts since the advent of social media as we know it today. i think there are a LOT of compounding factors (tldr the world sucks) which lead to all of us feeling a lot of emotions that leave us distressed and anxious and overwhelmed, and we desperately seek an outlet for those feelings. and i don't think those emotional impulses are borne of ideological beliefs, but rather the ideological beliefs are formed as a justification for the impulsive emotional outburst.

everyone has a lot of shit going on. everyone is sad, everyone is angry, everyone is so fucking tired. we all let out these emotions and expel them from our bodies and minds in one way for another, and unfortunately the people who direct those emotions toward others end up causing pain and then conjure up ideologies that they might not even really believe in just to justify and rationalize what they've done. but now their back is against the wall, and they need to stand by this ideology. they're pissed off about their job sucking and not paying enough and rent going up and healthcare being expensive and their uncle is on a ventilator with covid and they can't afford fresh fruit anymore so hey maybe being an asshole to this person online will give them a tiny bit of catharsis and take the pressure off for just a moment. and it does. so they do it again and again, and find reasons to justify that behavior. these ideologies are not really that important to them, these issues are not that significant in their lives, but they serve as scaffoldings holding them up during a time of complete emotional disarray. so they allow it. because there is nothing worse than confronting your own emotions and their roots, right?

so yeah, this is why i choose to approach all situations from a place of compassion as well as i can. not just because i believe many people are simply in a state of emotional turmoil right now, but because i have the idealistic hope that my compassion during a moment of emotional volatility may encourage them to show compassion to someone else. sure, it probably doesn't work most of the time. they probably just leave the interaction and go harass someone else. but there's a chance that me showing just one person compassion has helped them realize that they want to be kinder. i don't know. i think i am very sensitive and emotional but i am also constantly battling nihilism, so i might actually go crazy if i stop prioritizing the way i hold compassion for other people. i am definitely not a saint and i am far from a great person, but i think the fact that i am trying is worth smiling about sometimes. okay i'm starting to need to correct a lot of typos now so it's definitely bedtime, goodnight folks love you sweet dreams

[penwrythe]

Working on moving on from Twitter also how do social media work yeah????

So, the last week and this week have been wild, eh?

My stress levels have increased badly over the past few days just seeing the fallout of the latest Twitter debacle. I feel now is the time for me to just let go of Twitter completely.

If you follow me on Twitter (either through Worldofrelics or PenwrytheArts), I thank you for following, sharing, and liking my art. I'm not a large artist, but I am thankful for every small interaction I get for my art! Even with a few (even major) setbacks, I still had fun interacting with other artists there.

I know I don't have to write all this over the Twitter thing, but I have spent six years there as PenwrytheArts and another year and a half as Worldofrelics. I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me and my art! And, also, if you are also stressed over this whole thing, remember you are not alone. Things will be okay!

Now then, what's next? Well, I just started backups on my accounts and, hopefully, if Twitter does not do another fuckywucky, I'll get them soon. I'll slow down on art and lore posts on my Twitter accounts, only to post the occasional reminder that I'm on other platforms. Since Twitter deletes inactive accounts after 30 days, I cannot make either of my accounts into art archives. I'm looking at WordPress as a place for uploading an archive of my art and the Internet Archive to upload my art and tweets from Twitter.

Once the archives are created, the reminders will cease and I'll just let Twitter's inactive account policy take my accounts.

Tumblr (Penwrythe) is where I will be the most active. For my other accounts, I'm thinking about reviewing how I upload my stuff online.

Tumblr (main) will have most of my activity once I close down my Twitter accounts.

Tumblr, Newgrounds, Blogger, Cohost, Pillowfort, and Artfol will have a combination of both final art and work-in-progress stuff since they have blogging formats like Tumblr. All these will have similar posts between them.

Gallery-wise for completed art: that will be my portfolio, Behance (once I figure out how to set it up), Instagram, Newgrounds, Toyhouse (for characters), and WordPress. World of Relics content is included in all this by the way, but I like the idea of creating WorldofRelics dev site to show progress, either on Tumblr or WordPress. WorldAnvil is its current home for lore and worldbuilding.

And while I'm currently on DeviantArt, I'm debating on whether to delete it or just keep it as an archive with no new uploads at a certain point. I'm still not sure about the state of that site since they still allow AI art to be uploaded there, along with other issues I have with the site.

Not only that, I'm looking for somewhere to upload stories from World of Relics, like Altostratus. I'm looking at AO3 (for original fiction), WordPress, Wattpad, Toyhouse (I think they allow written work), and WorldAnvil (maybe, some of its story features are behind a paywall, tho). Tumblr, Cohost, and Pillowfort are also obvious choices, but I want to keep my stories on at least three websites to avoid having to visit 10 sites just to make a spelling correction from the original draft.

Anyway, that's the plan going forward! Once again, I'm thankful for everything! Good luck to those who are also moving from Twitter, as well!

[bigskydreaming]

I didn't want to pile on to that last post but it did spark some thoughts that I wanted to add here, but in a general sense.

I blame a lot of this on the way 'curate your own experiences online' has been weaponized by people who like to use it to flip the script on anyone they see disturbing their preferred online atmosphere and being like 'well you're doing this to yourself, stop making it everyone else's problem.' And then that's picked up and adopted in good faith by people seeing it as simply advice and it all kinda ripples outward from there, but the endpoint is like....There's this insistence on seeing anyone expressing online feelings other than banal enjoyment as either a) performative or b) a kind of self-harm, not to mention the ever popular third door c) attempting to emotionally manipulate everyone around them for Reasons.

Its like....social media is literally just another form and venue of connection, and its not inherently meant to be ANYTHING in particular beyond just....connective. What you do with it is up to you, true, but at a certain point the people who respond to anyone disturbing their 'good times only' vibes by trying to be like 'why are you bringing this energy here' need to acknowledge that the internet does not exist simply to be your happy fun time space. If you believe in curating your own experience so much then you should be ready to close the door on certain connections and leave the room when YOU are feeling disturbed instead of just telling everyone else in the room that they're doing Feelings wrong by sharing non-optimal ones and using the venue-for-connection that is social media to share even the unpleasant stuff.

ARE there people who are just performative about their feelings of horror or shock or what have you online? Of course, and there always will be. ARE there people who are for whatever reason, and no judgment involved in my mentioning this, but get caught in social media feedback loops that probably aren't healthy for them to be in at certain points? Of course, and there always will be. ARE there people who only share certain things or partake in certain discussions because they get off on attempting to emotionally manipulate people or have some agenda in place? Of course, and there always will be.

And in each and every one of those situations where that might actually be the case with any given individual....the problem there is that specific individual and their personally suspect motivations for what they do online and how they go about it.

The problem is NOT the very existence of people expressing negative emotions on your dash or posting in ways or about things that make Generic Tumblr User JustCameHereToHaveAGoodTime feel less feel good when they witness it 'bringing down their dash' or whatever.

Allow for the possibility that sometimes people can be genuine about how they're feeling or what they're expressing about themselves, and the act of people sharing genuine feelings of 'this sucks and we're all taking a beat to acknowledge that' can be as simple as reminding ourselves that we don't have to be numb to tragedy and that we aren't weird or alone in not knowing how to sit with something awful but still having the urge to do SOMETHING with that energy, those feelings, even if just to put them out there into the world to see them shared and reflected among others and feel a sense of kinship, of being seen in knowing hey yeah, this is horrific and it sucks, we're all on the same page here.

We so often see people arguing that there's nothing noble about suffering or making ourselves miserable and I agree, actually. But I'd also put forth that there's nothing noble or enlightened about cynicism or assuming the worst of people talking about suffering or being miserable, instead of even just allowing for the simple possibility that nobody in that conversation is shooting for nobility or sainthood, they're simply saying: here is a thing I feel. Here is a tragedy that exists. I don't know what to do with it, I don't know that doing any of this actually helps me or anyone else in any way, but surely it can't be any worse to simply....acknowledge it. Put it out there. Point to its existence, the feelings we have about it as something that at least we're not alone in not having a better or more optimal response to or idea of what to do with it.

Is suffering, being miserable and all that noble? No, again, I don't think it is. But its human, and I don't come online trying to be noble. I'm just trying to be human and connect and interact with other people on basic, human levels.

And again...nothing, certainly not online interactions or behavior, exists in a vacuum. Is it possible for all of the above to start from a place of genuine sincerity, even, and to eventually pick up steam and build into something non-genuine and the very kind of performative or emotionally manipulative stuff other people see it as, even if it didn't originally start that way? Sure. All of what we're talking about here exists on a spectrum, moderation is a thing, things growing beyond their initial intentions and turning to extremism is a thing to, etc, etc, etc.

All I'm talking about here, ultimately, is just another perspective to consider. Do with it what you will.