#yes I understand the appeal of him not wearing a shirt but the other version in the concept art looks way better

[xycuro-illuminati]

nah you have to rank all 5 dante looks from best to worst GO!!!!!!!

Oh I already know some dmc fans aren't going to like my ratings but:

1. DMC 4 outfit

2. DMC 5 outfit

3. DMC 1 outfit

4. DMC 2 outfit

5. DMC 3 outfit

Not sorry

[daunsun]

TUNNELS UP THROUGH YOUR FRONT YARD

DAUN YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD YOU ARE THE REASON

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT

THE LOGISTICS

OF KISSING A SUNFLOWER, DAUN

CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE ALL THE SEEDS POKING YOUR FACE, DAUN? BECAUSE I HAVE. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MORTIFIED YOU WOULD FEEL IF YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH YOUR SUNFLOWER BOYFRIEND AND YOU GOT A SEED STUCK IN YOUR TEETH? I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO. YOU MANAGED TO MAKE A SUNFLOWER SO ADORABLE I HAVE SPENT A NOT-INSIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME FROM MY ONE AND ONLY LIFE TO IMAGINE HOW THAT EXACT SCENARIO WOULD GO. I'M NOT EVEN GONNA GET INTO THE SEVEN STAGES* OF GRIEF YOU'D GET INTO IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY HORFED UP SOME OF MOON'S SPECIAL STANK

YOU MAKE THE BOYS LOOK SO DAMN APPEALING I WANNA CRY. ANYTHING YOU DRAW WITH THEM USES THESE REALLY GORGEOUS, SIMPLE SHAPES THAT MAKE THEIR DESIGNS EASY TO UNDERSTAND, BUT THE DESIGNS THEMSELVES ARE SO UNIQUE THAT THEY'RE INSTANTLY MEMORABLE. also, this is kind of a weird thing to point out, but I really like the way you draw folds in clothes? it's something I've always struggled with, and you just seem to add a little scribbled loop or two at the armpits and elbows and suddenly that shirt that character's wearing looks hella comfortable. AND THEIR COLOR PALETTES ARE GORGEOUS AND PERFECTLY ACCENTUATE THEIR PERSONALITIES SUN ALL WARM AND GOLDEN AND MOON CHILL AND COOLER THEIR COLORS MAKE THE CHARACTERS FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A TEMPERATURE

I LOVE YOUR SHORT LIL COMICS WITH THEM AND I WOULD HAPPILY READ A HUNDRED MORE and your short story with the flower boys was cute as hell too I'M A HUGE SUCKER FOR ANY STORY WHERE ONE CHARACTER SEES ANOTHER CHARACTER WHO'S A COMPLETE MESS AND IS LIKE "oh I'm so gonna fix you" IT'S LIKE MY CATNIP AND THE FACT THAT YOU DO THAT WITH REALLY GOOD ART AND CUTE STORIES AND A HINT AT A TRAGIC BACKSTORY? YES YES YES YES YES KISSING YOU STRAIGHT UP FROLICKING I AM THROWING HANDFULS OF THOSE WEIRD MUTANT RED MARIGOLDS THAT STARTED GROWING IN MY PORCH FLOWERPOTS AT YOU

*the extra two stages of grief are "Regret (Bass Boosted)" and "Evil Sleep"

HFSGJGKD I COULDN'T KEEP THIS ASK TO MYSELF ANY LONGER

ORDINARY YOU EXTRAORDINARY BASTARD, THIS IS WHY EVERYBODY IN THIS COMMUNTIY LOVES YOU.

Honestly I don't think kissing Sun would be that weird, since sunflower seeds are a bit dusty feeling, but rather tender and firm otherwise. If it gets in your teeth...

Chew it, spit the casing out into the trash, and swallow it. He'll lose his mind. (Y'know like because??? That's not a normal thing that happens during kissy kissy smooches and somebody not being upset by it would just reassure him that okay they DO like me, even my bad or weird parts, y'know??? It'd send him over the moon)

And I mean... I've discussed this before but you CAN kiss Moon. I made a loophole for the simps.

If he wants to, he can just (mostly) nullify his effects so that those in close proximity can't really feel them like they normally would. He just doesn't most of the time because it's helpful and Sun isn't really affected by it. However, the mostly part is still there, so you're gonna get HELLA good sleep after smooching this dude.

Did I also mention he'd totally hide the two of your faces with his petals whenever you kiss??? Did I did I?? It's just the two of you in those moments, nobody else.

Jsjsjsj thank you for all the praise I'm gonna shed tears

THE BOYS ARE JUST SIMPLE BECAUSE I HATE COMPLEX CHARACTER DESIGNS WITH A PASSION LMAO, IT'S FOR THE REDRAWABILITY and I have no idea how I did those colour palettes but I agree they do look really good (even though sun gets called eclipse sometimes heh)

I draw sleeves the way I do because it's just a simplified version of the way loose sleeves tend to fold (and I draw loose sleeves much more than I should) plus I've just stared at a lot of artists that do that over the years

AND IT WASN'T A SHORT STORY LMAO I'M JUST REALLY BAD AT WRITING CONSISTENTLY

Maybe... they can fix each other?? Teehee

BUT ALSO AGAIN GKJTSKS THANK YOU SO MUCH

Your flowers were spicy but they went down alright (a bit crunchy too, but that could've been the pot)

[iambilliejeanok]

Hey love, I read this and loved it so I was wondering if you could do an aot version with Levi, Erwin and Eren please? (feel free to ignore)

Yes of course 🌸💗

Warnings: 18+ , thigh riding, nsfw

🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸

Erwin

Late after noon, early evening, the sky looks beautiful preparing for the evening. You’ve finally caught him on a day where he’s not working or telling people what to do. He’s actually being normal for once, simply relaxing on the couch.

It’s not often you get to see him so casual, wearing just his boxers and a wife beater, his muscly thighs flexing when he shifts around, one arm slung begins the couch while his other hand rests on his crotch. Your hunk of a husband is way too physically appealing for you to resist your sudden urge to mount him.

You really just wanna rub yourself against him, touch him, feel him, hold him. Which you were already doing, your hands creeping up under his shirt, running along the bumps off his muscles, he smells divine. Unconsciously, deeply inhaling him makes you grind your hips right on his crotch. A feint groan and he’s got his hands on your hips moving you to sit on just one of his thighs, teasing you by denying you the pleasure of dry jumping yourself to an orgasm.

You stop to look into his eyes, a weary expression across your pretty face. You just wanna use his body right now. You want him to just let you fiddle around. Right now isn’t the time for him to tease you around like this. Attempting to shift yourself back into his lap, his stronger build forces you right back on his thigh, the large hands on your hips grind you against his hard thigh. No words were exchanged, but you understand what he was getting at.

“Erwin!”, you whined, frustration getting the better of you. “Yes baby?”, he responds, acting oblivious to his teases. Attempting to move back onto his lap his hands hold you back down, repeating the same action as before, but this time, he didn’t stop, his hands guiding you to grind on him. He could tell that you were too upset to bother putting in the effort with him. “Show me how you’d like like to ride me…I wanna see you get off on my thigh, like this”, he says, his hands still guiding your hips to grind against his thigh. “If you cum, I’ll give you a little reward”, he adds, catching your attention well enough that you began following his rhythm, grinding yourself against his thigh, his hands on your hips adding just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. He could tell you were somewhat into this.

“If you cum for me, like this, you wanna know what I’ll do to you?”, he says, the anticipation of what was in store arousing you, making you bite your lip as you continued grinding against him. “Maybe, I’ll let you ride my face, so I can taste the mess I already feel you making on me”.

He’s right, you’re growing wetter and wetter at the dirty thoughts he was putting in your head, his hands changing the rhythm, forcing you to abide by it. You felt so good you were sure you’d cum soon enough. The thought of riding your husbands face the goal, only fueling your arousal. “I’ll let you take all the control like you like. You can pull on my hair while you grind that sweet little cunt along my tongue”, he continues, a your soft breathing turning into a light moan, moving your hips faster as you feel yourself getting closer, the thigh of his warm, strong tongue plunging into your heat, his mouth sucking on your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ooohhhh”, you moaned, feeling really hot and so close to coming as your husband egged you on. “And then just when you’re about to cum, I’ll flip us over, and I’ll do the rest of the work yea?…and let you loose yourself while I keep sucking on your cute little clit until yo—” he spoke, cut off by your sudden orgasm, a little more intense than he was anticipating, sitting upright to hold you close to him, your heavy panting like music to guys ears. “Good girl baby, you did such a good job. Daddy’s excited to taste you on my face now”

🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸

Eren

The feel of something hard poking your lower back is no surprise, your body covered in soap studs as you scrub away the dirt from such a chaotic mission. This is the second time you’re washing your body, the first not being enough to erase the memories of the blood splattered as all over you after slashing all those titans. Eren washing himself right behind you. You’re exhausted. Eren is exhausted. If he’s tired then you’re completely drained. Perfect opportunity to bully you into orgasming on his thigh. His favorite.

“Eren”, you gasp, turning around to see him perfectly erect, the thought of him fucking you in this state intimidating you enough that you were immediately aroused, your pussy quickly throbbing at the sexual intensity Eren gave off. Taking a step forward, you took a step back, Eren’s dark green eyes piercing yours with an intensity that almost made you moan.

Feeling the surface of the cool tiled wall behind you, Eren closed the space, caging you between his arms. “Eren”, you softly whined, too tired to resist any sexual advances you thought he’d try on you. His thigh forced its way between yours, the height difference having you snug firm against it. Placing a big hand around your neck, he leaned forward, darting his tongue out give you one long lick across your lips, your lips parting in a silent moan, his tongue repeating the action, your lips parting again to try to catch it, but you missed, panting over the sudden arousal you felt, your clit pressed right against his thigh, making your hips grind a little too alleviate the pressure, but it still felt so good, Eren licking your from your jawline all the way up your face, only turning you in more. You needed that tongue all over you right now. His tongue licked across your lips again, but this time you managed to catch it in your mouth, whining loudly when he quickly withdrew it from your mouth. You were so turned on and tired that you couldn’t possibly resist being so needy.

Eren was too tired to tease you further on, even though your whining was adorable and entertaining. Licking you across your lips again, you finally caught it, greedily sucking on the warm muscle, happy to have it in your mouth all too yourself. The tongue wrestling was far too satisfying for you, your hips instinctively grinding along his thigh, the water running down your bodies giving the right lubrication, slowly grinding yourself to your hearts desire, soft moans and pants between the kiss as Erens thigh soothed the throbbing of your clit, an orgasm not far off. You just needed a little more motivation Eren noted.

Wrapping his hand a little tighter around your neck, he completely dominated the kiss, overwhelming you enough that you couldn’t think clearly. His hand found your boob, giving it a gentle squeeze, before letting go to grab your ass, squeezing again before he let go of your back to grab your other cheek, separating them as he squeezed, his middle finger, rubbing the crack of your ass while his other hand held your check open enough that he could reach your anus, rubbing circles over the tight hole, forcing you to let out a needy whine, your hips not having as much mobility to grind as Eren hands continued exploring your lovely ass. “Don’t stop grinding baby”, he panted, diving right back into the kiss.

Even though the movement was minimal, your still continued to grind against thigh, only focused on reaching your end goal. “Ahhh!”, you moaned loudly, Eren having buried his middle finger inside of your anus down to first joint, making you tense up, your muscles squeezing his finger so good he almost abandoned this mission to simply fuck you to pieces. But he knew you’d be too drained to handle anything more than this. “Relax babe”, he whispered against your lips, “I’m just gonna finger your little hole here while you keep grinding on me yea…don’t stop grinding or you’ll be in trouble”, he continued, ignoring your whines as you continued grinding against his thigh, your arms clinging to him, rubbing along his back as you continued to grind, moaning as Eren fingered your asshole, picking up the pace fast enough that you couldn’t hold back the orgasm that washed over you, scratching his back as he continued to finger your ass, speaking words of praise and encouragement to motivate you into coming once again…

💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗

Levi

It’s always a result of his endless desire for some titty action.

The weather was perfect today. The sun was not too hot as you sat with your boyfriend under a giant oak tree just horse ride away from your shared home, out in a field full of wild tulips. Eren had packed a cute like picnic for the two of you to enjoy today. A peaceful day without any titans to worry about. You lay with your head on his lap, his fingers playing with your coils, your hair neatly slicked up into a bun, your coils sticking out every which direction from your bun, Levi twirling them around his finger as the two of you conversed, enjoying each other’s company.

Sitting upright, you shifted to sit right on top of him, throwing your arms over his shoulders and burying your face in his neck, planting small kisses along his jawline, embracing him in a nice warm hug. Rubbing his hands along your back, he gave you a free squeezes, enjoying the feel of your body against his. He noticed two things. Your boobs against his chest and your bare pussy only clad in a thong, on his crotch since you wore a skirt. Leaning back to look at him, his eyes trailed down to your chest, your nipples perky though your spaghetti strapped tee.

“Levi!”, you giggled, lifting his chin up to look at you. “What?”, he said, admiring your smile, his hands slowly trailing up under your tee. “What are you doing?”, you asked, blushing as his eyes never left yours. “I’m just admiring you…I can’t admire you?”, he replied, finally cupping your bare breast, making you bite your lip. “Can we take this is off?”, he asked, already lifting your shirt up over your head. “Levi, we’re outside”, you said, looking around to make sure no one could see you two. “That’s okay, no one knows about this spot”, he replied, locking eyes with you to reassure you that he was serious. No one in fact, would see you naked. Nodding your head, Levi went ahead and cupped your boobs, shifting a little to rest against the tree, pulling you closer and lifting one thigh up for comfort, forcing you to sit on just one, his fingers already pinching and twisted your nipples, before cupping and squeezing. Enjoying yourself, you closed your eyes, the warm breeze so good against your skin, biting your lip as Levi fondled you.

Unable to hold back any longer, you softly moaned when Levi’s warm mouth closed around your sensitive nipple, your hand running through his hair as he greedily sucked on your boob, licking and biting your poor nipple, forcing a streak of soft whimpers out of you. Your felt tingles shower your entire body, now freely grinding along his thigh, not aware of your pursuit to orgasming, only focusing on enjoying all the attention Levi placed on your tits. The biting, sucking pulling only grew more and more aggressive. Levi greedily enjoying you, pulling on your nipple with his teeth before letting it slip through, immediately diving in to suck it again.

All this attention had you incredibly aroused, and the fact that you were getting it from Levi did things to your body you couldn’t describe. Before you knew it, you were so close to orgasming, desperately grinding on his thigh while he continued to terrorize your boobs, not stopping even when he felt you slightly shiver, and your moans turn into needy desperate whimpers. Even as you came, pulling on his hair, softly calling his name, he’s was certainly not done enjoying you on a beautiful day like today. Bare with him. He didn’t get to do this often.

💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸💗

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to post (it was 2% more accuracy versus 2% more personal appeal), so here’s both! This was for @dudeiwannasleep’s dtiys :)

Image ID and all Easter eggs I put in below cut

[ID: A fully colored digital drawing of Jonathan Sims warily looking at the viewer, and seated at his desk in his office, which is dimly lit and heavily shaded in cool tones. He is pressing the record button on a tape recorder sat on his desk, and holding a statement with a sticky note and paperclip on it. Attached to his fingers are red glowing string that leads upwards and has strands connecting different strings, like a spiderweb.

Behind him is a cork board with various papers and photos of spooky things stuck to it. It is laced together with glowing red string that forms the motif of a stylized eye centered around Jon’s head. On his desk are two stock paper boxes, a filing container with various statements in it, and a mug of tea which is still steaming and says “world’s best grandma” on the front.

Jon is a lightly build British-Indian man with stubble and shoulder length dark hair streaked with grey. He is wearing a green button down shirt and square glasses. He has a number of large band-aids or plasters on his arms, neck, and head, and multiple circular scars on the same areas. In the second version of the drawing, there are green, glowing, stylized eyes overlaying each one of these. End ID]

The easter eggs are as follows, from to left to right:

- The entire Jurgen Leitner rant is written on all the yellowing statement papers. Yes. The entire thing.

- Behind the first paper with the Leitner rant on it is an ad for cottage cheese. There’s no reason for this.

- There’s a note from Tim on the cork board that’s a reminder for Jon to eat.

- The whole Leitner rant didn’t fit on the pages, so I put the last part in a different font and put it on the back of the statement in Jon’s hand, like it was a handwritten note.

- There’s a few note cards with actual in-story notes on them. One says “Martin: trying to kill me?” written on it, and behind it there’s another in smaller writing, “Yes of course, the man who’s been bringing you tea and being understandably stressed by recent events is definitely trying to kill you..”. There’s others that say “Upton house?” “Gertrude Robinson,” and “What is the Eye?” The last one is notably positioned next to Jon’s head, and the one of Upton house is positioned above his head.

- Jon is wearing an ace ring :)

- The photos on the cork board are a combination of my own art, liminal spaces, random stock photos, and a staircase I thought was creepy.

- I forgot to reverse the text on the mug so now it’s just a badly made mug. Whether it’s an old one of Gertrude’s (which would be sad and kind of scary), or just one someone got Jon as a joke, you can decide for yourself.

- I only kept the writing of the statements in the filing bin turned the right way because my url is on one of the statements in the filing box on the right :)

[servingy-nneeds]

PROMPT:HOW WOULD THEY REACT WITH A BIG BREASTED S/O: VILLAIN EDITION

Dabi

“You got them big tits” he said nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders when you were first introduced in the League of Villains

He would notice your above average breast but that’s it

Honestly doesn’t see the appeal with boobs, as he would put it, tits are tits.

Although, he understands your charms and has used you multiple times as an information gatherer mainly on male Pro heroes, other times on female pro heroes

Lets you wear whatever makes you feel comfortable; You want to wear baggy shirts and pants go for it. Wanted to wear badass clothes that shows of your curves? Hell go for it. He ain’t gonna guilt trip you into hiding your assets, if you have it, “fuckin flaunt it” as he say

When you first started dating he was still aloof with you, however was quick to avert you away from the League of Villains whenever you want to mingle with them. His reason was that “they aren’t the most sane people to be around”

Quite the prick when someone tries to hit on you

Namely going behind you and groping your knockers in front of the poor soul who decided his luck with you. He does this every damn time just to point out that yes you belong to him and yes he better be damn jealous of Dabi’s privilege

And if being dense was the offender’s choice of action. Well, cremation awaits for the other guys/girls, his hands ain’t rated E for nuthin’

It irritates him when one of his companion, most likely Shigaraki, stares at your tits for a second too long. He was rude to him to no end for the whole week. Doesn’t trust Shigaraki enough to leave you with him alone

Jests that you stay with him in order to scare off potential perverts. He was after all your ‘big bad boyfriend’

It doesn’t matter on how you two went to sleep that night, you always wake up to an arm under your breast or a hand exactly at your boob

You caught him sometimes staring at a mirror tracing his scars and then back at you wondering if you would finally realized you’re too good for a nobody like him

He KNOWS he has a shitty personality and looks and isn’t the best boyfriend out there for you

You learned that he responds well at cuddling and surrounding him with positive affirmations

BONUS✨: You tried surprising him with the whole concept of only wearing his coat with nothing underneath it. You think he appreciates the thought, but really, if your rearing to go just ask him.

Shigaraki

When you were first introduced to the League of Villains he didn’t even greet you and openly staring down under your chin never meeting your eyes. Thus, your first impression of him was pervert and imprudent, how is he the boss anyway?.

He just openly stared at your breasts until somebody pointed it out Dabi and Kurogiri

“Boss I think it goes dinner first eye fuckin later yeah?“

“I think this person would appreciate if you stopped undressing them with your eyes Shigaraki”

Unlike Dabi, this man would be obsessed with your boobs

One time you wore a low cut shirt and he had the audacity of blaming you for distracting him.

You kneed him in the gut for that comment followed by scampering off for your dear life

He would like to think he is sneaky with his glances

But honestly EVERYONE knows he’s ogling your breast

Doesn’t had a lot as a child which explains why he is quite childish and selfish with you when you two started going out

Would literally kill someone for you, LITERALLY

Someone just happened to look at you? boom dust. Someone just asked for direction and he didn’t liked the way the stranger looked at you? boom ashes

One time you heard him mutter a “+5 points” for wearing a round collared neck shirts and a “+30 points” for wearing the low cut shirt

Please someone tell this man that breasts are actually fragile and not some stress ball

A night with him results in sore breasts littered with bruises and bite marks

BONUS✨: Loves being babied resting his head on your breast. Doesn’t care if you were taking nap, nor does he care that he was trespassing on your room and privacy. Your breasts are open for naps? boom there his head goes. “Honestly, stop flaunting them” he argued to you one day.

Mr. Compress

When you were introduced to the League of Villains for the first time he low key hinted that he needs assistant for his magic tricks and you just so happened to be quite his type the distraction he needed

Another ‘all tits are tits’ kind of man

He may want all the applause of the world but lives for your amusement

Reserves all his pretty tricks for you

Is canonically a showman at heart so don’t take it the wrong way when he said that you were the center of attention, “it’s a compliment” he argues

Has a love hate relationship with the idea of you being the center of attention

He loves that everyone is staring at a glory that is you

Hates the idea that everyone is staring lecherously at you

Uses the phrase “You’re so cute I wish I can keep you inside my pockets all the time” quite literally

One time you got sent together with him at a public area, say the mall, to gather intels on pro heroes where you went separate ways. When he went back to you lo and behold you were being surrounded by horny males who just wants to get sum of that piece

He was quite flashy with distracting them, he called it a magician’s trick, but really all he did was asked you to be his assistant and then the next minute you were in his breast pocket no where to be seen

You threw a fit after you were decompressed 

He apologized for doing his parlor tricks unto you without consent. Lowkey would do it again if ever you were in trouble or he’s just downright jealous

Would love for you to wear a magician’s assistant garb; the one with the top hat, corset, long coat and really anything that allows for an easy misdirection of tricks for his advantage.

BONUS✨:Wearing his costume or anything of his turns it on for him. One time he made you wear his top hat and only his top hat while he was scrambling up your guts.

Twice

When you were first introduced to the League of Villains he greeted you with  “You look fuckin hot to bed” “ or to Wed”

Being teamed up with him was both exhausting and amusing at the same time

He would likely drop some random conversations like “You know we could be fucking each other at this time?” “Remember to focus at our mission, ‘mkay?”

Although his multiple personalities often clash with each other, protecting you is always their top priority.

You have to be really patient and understanding when dating this man. His shifts from hot to cold personality, so some days he would be praising you, and then some other days he is giving you the cold shoulder

“I could do better than you” “You’re literally my whole world”

Poor man was lonely to death and gets a lot more unstable when you leave him alone. Like he would cry a river and put up some kinda tantrum if you’re not there with him to accompany him

You caught him one day with a clone version of you cuddling him to sleep. You weren’t sure if you call this cheating or cry that he was so lonely he even considered cloning you to be with him.

However when you cleared your throat announcing your return, his expression was a mixture of shock, relief and a hint of embarrassment

Though he immediately rushed over to you once he saw the real you standing at the doorway. “Why did you leave me all alone?!” “I never missed you, you know?”

Both you and the clone was standing there awkwardly with Jin still clinging at your side

“Are my boobs really that big?” you asked trying to break the tension

He would just grab them saying “It’s humongous!” then removing his hands and inspecting said boobs the very next seconds saying “Nah they’re perfect for me”

Eventually the clone returned to being a mud and both of you agreed to never clone yourself again unless he’s really really desperate

BONUS✨: Is very spontaneous with his affection one minute the two of you would be 6 feet apart watching some kid’s cartoon the next minute he would be crawling all over you asking you to suffocate him hold his head dearly against your bosoms 

[americachavez]

did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)

getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward

some notes before we begin:

the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man

all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that

I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot

this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto

S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great

S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3

S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew

S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man

S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING

S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc

S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.

S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.

S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!

S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.

S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here

S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking

S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.

S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol

S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.

S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf

S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck

S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too

S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade

S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said

S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes

S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot

S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT

S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean

S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash

S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy

S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.

S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.

S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.

S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip

S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok

S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.

S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON

I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself

[naughtyneganjdm]

Arcadia - Chapter 4

Summary: After learning how Y/N felt about Negan before they found each other again, Negan does his best to prove to Y/N that he loves and cares for her with the help of his family. Joel decides that he wants Negan to feel more welcome in their family and takes a big step to help that happen.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Joel, Nolan, Lucy, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, the boys get a little handsy with each other, etc

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29577489/chapters/76904282

Notes: For those that enjoy Negan & Y/N together, you will enjoy the first and the last scenes a bit, I think. The second scene is more of a scene between Negan and Joel. I wanted to write something happy and this story serves as that for me. Thanks for reading with those that do. 

Heading back to the farm, Y/N could feel her body aching after a long day of working in the town. They had her in charge of the construction with adding to the wall protecting Arcadia. With more people being in town, they were working on extending the walls and it had been a lot of work. This was usually something Joel would be doing, but they had Joel helping at the hydroelectric power plant because of the growing power shortages they had been having. They also needed help figuring out how to upgrade things there so Joel was busy doing that. It was a lot of work, but it was something that had to be done and being one of the people in charge Y/N had to step up to take control of things.

Dropping down on the steps to the farm house, Y/N took a minute to herself to gather her thoughts and feelings. She needed to swallow down all the stresses of the day and needed to make sure that she could be the best mother she could be when she walked into that home. Both Negan and Joel had woken up long before her today to go to work, so there would undoubtedly be three of them that would be exhausted today.

Things had been different over the last few weeks. Negan was going above and beyond to prove his point that he loved her after their discussion about their past. It was nice to see him doing things for her, but it wasn’t only with her. It had been with the family as well. Negan was really stepping it up as a father, a member of the household, a member of the community and as a lover in her life. Something had definitely struck with Negan after their heart to heart.

At first she was worried that opening up to him would have been a bad thing because she always hid from him the feelings she had in the past. These were fears and thoughts that were eating away at her for almost twelve years when she thought about Negan. She hated to admit it, but after being with Negan when she was younger it left her with some serious self-esteem issues and left her questioning love all around. She was young when she first got with Negan, so she didn’t understand life yet. Not fully. Now, she liked to believe that she grew up and understood life better. Personally, she thought she was an overall better person now too. Someone who had matured and understood what the important things in life really were as opposed to the person she was then.

Maybe in that point of view, Negan was just like her and grew over time. Unquestionably she could see that he was vastly different than the man he was when they were together twelve years ago. There was a part of him that was much more loving, relaxed and just eager to be with her. It was nice to see such a change in Negan, but she knew that she had to be honest with Negan about how she felt about their past, which is why she told him what she did. Those thoughts and fears were something that had been eating away at her for so long. It was a big part of her life in becoming an adult and the person she was now. The fact Negan took everything so well really surprised her.

Getting up from the porch, she stretched out her body and moved toward the door to push it open. When she moved into the house she saw Negan sitting on the couch in the living room. His feet were tapping against the floor and when his eyes connected with hers she watched him slowly stand to his feet. Letting out a confused breath, she saw that he was wearing a pair of dark slacks and a black button down shirt. Negan was dressed up and it shocked her because this was something she wasn’t used to. There was only once or twice that she had seen him dressed up since she had known him.

In his right hand, Negan had some flowers that he was holding onto and a smile gradually cracked in over the corners of his lips when he stepped forward toward her. She was frozen in the moment, honestly…confused.

“Hi…” Negan’s eyebrows bounced up when he approached her and held the flowers out for her. Slowly, she reached for the flowers and accepted them. An uncontrollable smile pressed in over the corners of her lips when she looked down at the flowers that he had picked.

“What’s going on?” she tilted her head to the side and Negan shrugged his shoulders, his hazel eyes hooked on hers.

“I was kind of hoping to ask you out on a date,” Negan declared, his dimples sinking in as he slid his hands into his pockets in an innocent moment. God, he looked striking like that. “I thought you could maybe go upstairs and pick out something you’d like to wear. The two of us could go to the movies, go for a walk and then see where the night takes us.”

“Seriously?” she snickered and Negan’s tongue dragged out over his bottom lip before a wide smirk expanded over his handsome features. “What about everyone else?”

“Everything is under control,” Negan assured her with a nod of his head. The house was rather quiet compared to what it was usually like at this time of the day. Maybe he was honest and things were under control. “I made sure to go to work early today so that way by the time you got home everything would already be taken care of. So what do you say? Would you like to go on our first official date together?”

While she was exhausted, this was completely out of character for Negan in the past, so he definitely had her interested. Looking down at her flowers once more before lifting her gaze back to his, she could sense that Negan was eager for her to say yes and she nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Negan repeated her answer to make sure she was sure and she laughed. “I’ll wait right here for you until you’re ready.”

“I’m going to put these in some water first,” she motioned to the flowers and he moved forward to stop her.

“I can do that for you sweetheart. I’ll just put them on the kitchen windowsill unless you would rather them somewhere else?” Negan suggested and she was amazed that Negan was being so accommodating. It definitely was going to take time to get used to these changes from Negan from what she knew. When she nodded, Negan grabbed the flowers and disappeared into the kitchen. While she loved the Negan from the past, this version of him impressed her so much.

Heading upstairs, she moved into her bedroom and toward her closet to find something to wear. This was already so vastly different from the Negan that she had known when she was younger. Yes, Negan made grand gestures back then when they were together and flowers was no different from past him, but him saying that he wanted her to pick out what she wanted to wear was big for him. When they were younger, he would always request a certain look from her or a certain outfit. Telling her to pick out what she wanted was a nice change.

Putting on something comfortable, yet still nice she made sure that she still felt beautiful in what she was in. There was not that need to go extreme in getting ready. She didn’t want to impress Negan like she did when she was young. The need to please Negan by what she was wearing just didn’t exist anymore. When she was young, she would have gone above and beyond to appeal to Negan, but now he assured her that he loved her for her and she wanted to believe him.

After she got done getting ready, she moved down the stairs and Negan was back sitting on the couch waiting for her. When she started moving down the stairs, Negan’s eyes lifted. As he saw her it made him let out a long, exaggerated breath. Steadily standing up from the couch, he met her at the bottom of the steps and his eyes looked her over, “Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

Gradually, he lifted his hand out to hers to help her down the last few steps and when she moved before him Negan closed the distance between them. A nervous breath fell from her throat when Negan brushed her hair out of her face and loosely wrapped his arm around her waist. The soft strokes of Negan’s rough fingertips against the side of her face drew her to shudder. With the way that Negan was looking at her, she could feel a chill running down her spine and she was in awe of him. Since they had found each other again, the way Negan looked at her made her feel incredible. Especially as of the last few weeks.

“May I kiss you?” Negan requested permission and it made her smile. Nodding, she watched his head bob in a silly fashion before he leaned in to press a delicate kiss over her lips. Grasping to his shirt, Y/N palmed in over the center of his chest and could feel the kiss getting a bit more intense before he pulled back. When his thumb swept in over her bottom lip, it caused her to whimper and he nuzzled his nose against hers. “Perfect.”

Without another word, Negan hooked his fingers with hers and led her out of the house. Part of her still worried about her daily worries since it had been so long since she didn’t have to come immediately home and go into her motherly duties. Luckily, Negan or Joel would often cook dinner for the family, but there was still so much to do during the evening before going to bed.

Walking down the hill with Negan toward town felt exciting. It wasn’t often that she was surprised anymore. Not in this day in age. Joel was exceedingly romantic, but they had always planned things just in case the town needed them. So having Negan do this and be spontaneous had her excited. The way Negan’s fingers were tightly grasped to hers as they walked down the hill together made her feel safe. Frequently, his eyes would glance over at her and it looked like he was in awe of her. Maybe she was reading too much into things, but the moment was beautiful and all they were doing was walking to their destination.  

“You look really good, you know?” she complimented him and could see the smirk he gave her before looking down at himself to see what he was wearing. “I like it.”

“I wanted to look good for you,” Negan used his free hand to run his palm in over the center of his chest before sighing heavily. “It’s nothing too spectacular, but to dress somewhat nice for you felt like the right thing to do.”

When they got to the town’s movie theater, she followed him inside and noticed that it was rather empty for what she would expect from it. Usually people were there at the end of the day to relax, but it was pretty quiet. Following Negan through the building, she let out a hearty laugh when she saw her children at the concessions stand that they had set up inside of the theater. Stopping, she could see both Nolan and Lucy’s faces light up when they saw the two of them together.

“We have to get our snacks,” Negan snorted, his nose wrinkling when he led her toward the area of the building where their children were at. When Negan stepped before the children, he could see that Y/N was smiling happily seeing the two of them dressed up for the moment. “What do you think…should we get one or two popcorns?”

“I would suggest the big popcorn,” Nolan interrupted them with a giant smile; mirroring that of his father’s while they were both staring at her. It was almost charming how much alike the two of them actually looked. Nolan was a mini Negan and there was no hiding it. “For those that are on a date, the big popcorn is a good choice. That way you can be close and share.”

“We’ll take the big popcorn then,” Negan winked and he watched Nolan grab the popcorn for them. The interaction made Y/N laugh. That’s what he was looking for. He wanted her happy. Obviously he had accomplished that with the interaction with her children in this situation. “Thank you sir for your help.”

While Nolan gathered the popcorn, Negan slid down the glass display toward where Lucy was waiting for them at her area of the snacks that were set up. Tapping his hands against the glass, Negan’s eyes connected with Lucy’s and it took a second before she realized she was up.

“Oh, I’m not even waiting for an answer,” Lucy spoke up reaching for a pack of candied almonds and a pack of chocolate covered peanuts for the two of them. “These are both good and I just think you should have them.”

“I like the way you think Sunshine,” Negan chuckled when Y/N accepted them from her daughter. Y/N leaned over the counter to press a kiss over her daughter’s temple and the sound of Lucy giggling was heard. The kids knew this was a silly set up, but that was part of the plan. Negan wanted this to be lighthearted and fun. They had kids now. They were a family. Having the best moments would obviously include the children.

It was always impressive learning the things that this small town was capable of. The fact they had a small movie theater that looked like what Negan remembered one to be like in the past blew him away. So, he had to take advantage of this place when he was pulling together their date.

Noticing at the back of the counter how much butter Nolan was putting on the popcorn, Negan cleared his throat to catch Nolan’s attention, “Easy on the butter buddy.”

“Trust me, I know what’s good and no one ever puts enough butter on the popcorn,” Nolan nonchalantly waved his hand in the air dismissively before finishing with the popcorn the way he wanted. When Nolan was done, he outstretched his arms and held it out. Accepting the popcorn, Negan reached out to brush his fingers through Nolan’s hair to mess it and he heard his son grunt. “Don’t mess with the do dad.”

“Oh, my mistake,” Negan muttered in an exaggerated manner while snickering. Nolan rolled his eyes before laughing and whispering something to Lucy.  Grabbing some napkins for them, Negan thought twice about how much butter Nolan put on the popcorn and grabbed some more just to be safe. Both Nolan and Lucy were looking up at them with big eyes and Negan chuckled. “I think these two are the best workers I’ve yet to meet at any movie theater, what do you think?”

“Definitely the best,” she agreed reaching out to brush her fingers through Nolan’s hair and he leaned into her touch.

“We already know that,” Lucy informed them with a nod, reaching her hand up to grab a hold of Nolan’s hand. “We love you mom. We hope you have a good time.”

“I love you guys. Just seeing the two of you already made this the best night I’ve had in a long time,” she gave them a wink and then followed Negan toward the theater where she saw Joel standing at the doors dressed in what someone would wear if they were working at the theater. Joel grinned when they stepped forward and he held the doors open for them.

“Let me help you to your seats,” Joel took a flashlight and led them toward specific seats making her chuckle when she sat down with Negan. Joel left the theater and after a few moments he obviously set things up for the movie to start.

“This is a whole family thing, huh? How long did this take you guys to come up with?” she snickered, looking to Negan as she held her hand out to him so he would hold it in his. Negan brought her hand up to his mouth to press a loving kiss over the back of it and she couldn’t help, but smirk.

“Well I asked the kids what they thought would be romantic and here we are,” Negan gave her a wink and she looked to see that Joel had brought the kids in to lead them toward another part of the theater to leave her and Negan alone together. “I thought you would be more comfortable knowing that the whole family was in it on it.”

“It’s cute,” she admitted lifting up the arm of the chair that was between the two of them. Sliding in closer to Negan she could feel his arm hooking around her so she could cuddle in closer to him. Negan nuzzled his nose against her head when the film started up. Cherishing the warmth of Negan around her, she couldn’t help being charmed by both men in her life. Joel was being a good father near the front of the theater and Negan was doing something to woo her. Negan was out to impress her and he already had. It was an amazing feeling knowing that she had two incredible men in her life that both loved her. When the film started up, she chortled when she saw what it was. “Singin’ in the Rain?”

“I’m pretty sure Nolan picked this out,” Negan whispered under his breath, pressing a lingering kiss against her temple after he informed her. “Our kid has an old soul and he’s pretty fucking cool. Without a doubt, he’s a very eclectic little man.”

“He’s an amazing young man,” she agreed with Negan looking out in the distance to see that Joel was cuddling both of the kids while the movie started. Lifting the popcorn container that she was holding, Negan took a handful of it and it made her smile the sound he made when he ate it. Setting it aside, he found herself focused on Negan and his expressive features. “You still aren’t used to it, are you?”

“What? The popcorn?” Negan spoke with a full mouth and she nodded knowing that it seemed to be his favorite snack since he had been brought to Arcadia. “Honestly? I’m not used to any of this in Arcadia Y/N. It’s not like it is here outside those walls. People would kill for this, which means we have to protect it twice as hard. I know with my family here I will do anything and everything possible to keep my family safe.”

“I know you will,” she reached out to stroke her palm in over the side of his face. It was nice to hear how much Negan wanted to keep this place safe. “You are a different man Negan, you know that, right? I know I said what I said, but I don’t doubt that you are a better man than I used to know. Although, I wouldn’t doubt this part of you was inside of you all along.”

“It wasn’t,” Negan felt her hand pressing in over the center of his chest and he sighed, reaching for her hand. “The man I was before was very self-centered and greedy. Now…all I want to do in this world is be with my family and keep them safe. I love all of you so much.”

Lowering his head, he pressed it against her forehead and knew that they should have been watching the movie, but they were more so focused on each other.

“Now would be a perfect time to kiss her,” Negan heard someone mutter and he pulled his head away to see that Nolan was turned in his seat. Nolan was watching the two of them and it made both of them laugh. Negan buried his head against the side of Y/N’s neck as he continued to quietly chuckle.

“Give them some space little man,” Joel’s southern drawl was loud enough for them to hear and she could see Joel tugging on Nolan’s shirt to get him to lower down back into his seat. “We were supposed to be silent observers here buddy.”

“I know, but if he wants to be romantic, that’s the best thing to do,” Nolan mumbled and it even made Joel laugh with that comment.

“When did you become the master of romance? You’re eleven years old,” Joel hushed Nolan and it drew both Negan and Y/N’s attention to Joel with the kids instead of the movie. Watching the two of them playfully bickering about romance was very amusing as the parents of Nolan. The soft giggles Lucy released while watching Joel and Nolan bicker was the cherry on top as well. It was a cute interaction that both Negan and Y/N enjoyed.

“I’m almost twelve and I’ve been on this world long enough to know when someone needs to kiss someone. He’s missing out on the perfect moment dad,” Nolan continued to bicker with Joel and Negan turned to look at Y/N with his big hazel eyes.

“Well, he does have a good point. I shouldn’t miss out on the perfect moment,” Negan brushed his thumb in over her cheekbone and leaned in toward her. The warmth of his breath was over her lips and when their lips collided, her hand raised to hook her fingers loosely into his hair. The tender brush of Negan’s lips over hers felt amazing and the longer they kissed the more she felt herself melting in against him.

The giggles of their children pulled them from the kiss and they watched Joel standing up with the kids, “Alright, we’ve decided we’re going for ice cream and we will see the two of you later so you can have time to yourselves without the comedy gang here.”

“I was going to fight you until I heard the ice cream part,” Nolan alerted Joel as they moved toward the aisle of the theater.

Both Nolan and Lucy were holding Joel’s hand as they made their way to exit the theater. Before they could leave Y/N reached to hug her children goodbye. Grabbing for Joel’s hand, she stopped him from leaving and her eyes connected with his. Tugging at his wrist, she could hear him let out an amused sound before lowering down to meet her in a quick kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth. Most people would have felt strange having this relationship with both Negan and Joel. Having two men in her life felt unbelievable and while many people may have not understood the poly relationship they had going, she was thankful for it. As Joel pulled away, he gave her a wink before reaching out to pat Negan on the shoulder.   

“Make sure to have her back safely in one piece,” Joel teased and Negan snorted in response. When their family left, their eyes connected and Negan shifted in the seat he was in.

“I know this is relationship we all have is strange and people don’t get it, but…” Y/N began, but Negan lifted his finger up to silence her. The roughness of the pad of his thumb sliding in over her bottom lip made her shudder. Her eyes closed and she felt the warmth of him hovering in closer to her.

“Since I’ve gotten here, I feel like I’ve had to defend the three of us and the relationship we all have together repeatedly. It’s not our responsibility to have to defend it to everyone here. The three of us love each other and people are just going to have to get used to that shit. I don’t care if people don’t think it’s right,” Negan’s mouth descended upon hers, urging her to kiss him over and over again before he pulled away breathless. “Fuck people if they don’t accept it because being with both of you feels right. I think we are all part of a puzzle and together we make each other whole.”

“You’re right,” she agreed, taking a moment to admire the man that Negan had become. After a moment of gazing out at him, she eagerly raised up to meet him in another kiss.

Their lips collided again and for a while they just kissed each other, appreciating the closeness of their bodies together. Making out with Negan in a movie theater was not exactly how she had expected the night to go, but that’s where they ended up.

“I feel like a teenager again,” Negan hummed against her mouth, his tongue brushing past her lips to swiftly flick up against hers. She purred into his mouth and they continued to kiss while his hands caressed up and over her body. “I can’t recall the last time I made out with someone in a movie theater.”

“I don’t think I ever have,” she pulled away, biting at her bottom lip and she felt her heart pounding inside of her chest while Negan looked her over. “I think I’ve focused more on kissing you than I have the movie.”

“You’re a better subject anyways. Nothing against the movie,” Negan slurred, tipping forward to kiss her again causing her to release a trembling breath. When her tongue flicked out against his, he softly sucked at hers before letting out a content sound. Licking at his lips, he appreciated the taste of her and knew that he could kiss her all night if he was given the chance. “We should stop and watch the rest of the movie.”

“I like kissing you,” she retorted brushing her fingers through his well-groomed graying hair while she continued to pepper kisses over his lips. Negan’s eyes narrowed and she could tell by what she could see from his pupils dilating that they were full of lust. “It makes me think of when I was young and you would kiss me all night long.”

“Mmm, it’s better now,” Negan claimed, nipping softly at her bottom lip and tugging gently. It caused her to moan quietly against his flesh and it made a chill run down his spine. “You are so fucking sexy. You know that?”

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” she countered with a wrinkle of her nose, sliding her palm down the side of his face while tracing through his short beard with her fingertips. “God, when I was young I couldn’t wait until night time. Just to have you holding me in your arms and kissing me like you did…there was nothing I wanted more.”

“You’re fucking adorable,” Negan insisted, pressing his forehead to hers and he smiled brightly when thinking about their past together. “You make me feel like a young boy all over again. I love you and the Texan so much. You’re the only woman that can make my heart feel like it’s going to burst out of my chest while also making me feel like it could stop beating just at the sight of you. I love you so fucking much.”

Sweeping her fingers through his hair, she stared into his eyes and could see that he was breathing heavily while staring out at her, “You know…given the chance, I wish I could go back and do everything over again the right way. I should have courted you in a way that made things perfect for you.”

“Courted me?” she repeated his words, her nose wrinkling when he said it and she couldn’t help, but be amused with what he said. “You’ve been reading too many of Joel’s books. Who the hell are you?”

“Oh stop,” he rolled his eyes and felt her leaning in to press a quick kiss against his lips which made him chuckle against her mouth. “I just mean like I should have made your first time perfect. I should have made sure it was what you wanted. I should have been the best boyfriend…”

“We are who we are now because of who we were then,” she swallowed down hard and reached up to cover his lips with her fingertips. There was a sadness in Negan’s eyes while they stayed connected with hers. “Yeah, I had a lot of doubts, but maybe if we weren’t the people we were then we wouldn’t have Nolan. Everything happened for a reason and it led us up to this moment.”

“I know you questioned how I felt, but I do really love you,” Negan reached for her hand to pull it from his lips and he sighed loudly. Hooking his fingers with hers, he adjusted carefully in the seat and pulled her in closer to him. “I know it’s going to take a while to earn that complete trust and faith in me again, but I promise one day you will never question how I feel or felt.”

“You’ve already set off to a good start today Negan,” she lifted her hand to tease her fingers through his hair again. Caressing her fingers against the bottom of his neck, they took that moment of silence before kissing once more. “I love you too.”

After kissing for a while, they managed to watch the rest of the film and when they left the theater, she went to head back to the home, but Negan shook his head, “You have to follow me, the date isn’t over yet.”

“Oh?” she followed him down the main street of their small town. It was dark already and many people had already headed home. Anyone that was still out was closing up their shops for the night or was just cleaning up. There were a few people that were walking the street, but overall it was rather quiet. It wasn’t often that she got to take walks at night. Frequently, she would sit on the porch on her swing and watch the town from up on the hill, but never really experienced walking through the town herself. Most nights her and Joel were so tired and worn out that they never got to do things like this. With Negan’s fingers hooked with hers, Y/N found herself feeling like she was in an old movie. The night air was crisp, the fading lights of the town were just enough to give a dream like effect to their walk. It was romantic. It was perfect. It was simple, but Negan had definitely outdone himself. Their walk led them toward the lake and she could see that there was a lantern already by the edge of it. It lit up the area and not far from it was a basket there that was already waiting for them. “What is this?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping we could finish the date off…right?” Negan shrugged his shoulders and then went to the edge of the water to search for a stone. This resembled the place he took her the first time they slept together and she knew that was the kind of vibe he was trying to give off. When he found a stone, she saw him digging around for another one until he found one that he liked. Unhurriedly, Negan stood up from where he was kneeling down and moved out toward her. Reaching for one of her wrists, he lightly tugged her toward the edge of the water. “You know, when we slept together the first time I wanted it to be perfect for you. I wanted it to be everything you wanted and more. I had this stupid idea in my head that I wouldn’t end up feeling things for you more than just sexual attraction, so when I realized that we were more than that I got scared. I was so close to making it perfect, but I fucked up and I fucked up so bad.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” she reasoned with him and Negan gave her an expression where his nose wrinkled. There was nothing, but doubt in his eyes and she bit down on her bottom lip. “It could have been worse.”

“There were so many times I thought back on that night. I should have worn a condom; I don’t even know what I was thinking with that one. I should have said the right things. The sex should have been sweeter and not as rough,” Negan started to ramble and she stepped forward to grab his hands in hers to get him to silence himself. Instead, she wanted him to focus on her right now instead of the past.

“Negan, we can’t go back and change the things that we did. I always wished I could have gone back and told you about Nolan. I regretted every single minute I wasted not letting you know that you were going to have a child,” she recalled a thought that ate away at her for so many years when she would think about Negan, “But there is nothing we can do about the past. We both have regrets, but we can’t let those thoughts eat away at who we are now. We have each other now. Those are all but a distant memory. Instead of focusing on the past, we need to go forward from here. We need to live in the now and make every moment after this mean something.”

Negan’s eyebrows furrowed when she stepped in closer to him. Her soft hands grabbed a tight hold of his and she looked to the flat stone that was in his palm, “How about we take these and use them as if they symbolize our past. We’ll let it go. It will always be there just beneath the surface of the water, but we need to release those feelings and let ourselves grow. So throw it in the water and right here, right now it will be the representation of us letting go of our pasts and all the mistakes we made.”

“Wow, you’re definitely Joel’s wife,” Negan joked which made her roll her eyes, but there was definitely something special about both Y/N and Joel. They looked at life differently than most of the people he had met. In a good way too. They were changing him and they were changing him for the better. She stepped forward and turned him toward the water again. It was clear she was expecting him to listen to her and throw that stone in the water. It was hard to take all the things he had done and sum it up into a small stone, but he knew that she wanted to start over new. This represented that for them and because of that, he glanced down at his stone. Closing his eyes tightly, he squeezed his fingers tightly around the stone and thought about the man that he used to be. Honestly, he hated the man that he was before so much. Letting out a shuddering breath, he opened his eyes and stepped closer to the water. Tossing the stone, he watched it skip across the surface of the water before finally sinking. When he was done, he turned to her and felt himself shaking. “I want to be everything you deserve and more Y/N.”

“I think you already are,” she assured him, stepping before him. Hearing her say that took his breath away and he instinctively leaned down to eagerly kiss her. When she pulled away, he was breathing heavily and she looked down to the stone. “My turn.”

For a moment she looked out at the water and Negan felt his heart pounding inside of his chest. There was still that fear there that he didn’t think he was good enough. When he watched her throw the stone out, he kept his eyes on it and knew that he was getting emotional. Clearing his throat, he knew he had to try to focus, “God, you’re still awful at skipping stones. Your kids do better…”

“Oh shut up,” she grunted, turning on her heel to meet his stare again. It was obvious he was emotional. There was no hiding it. Reaching out, she playfully poked him in the shoulder and his breathing hitched.

Closing the distance between them, Negan reached out to trace his fingers up her arm in a tender caress. Lazily, his fingertips followed the direction up to the side of her face before he cupped her face in his hands in a loving way, “Listen…”

“Wait. I need to say this,” she interrupted him seeing that his eyes were misting over. There was no doubt that he was still stuck on things from the past and she could feel that he was still trembling against her. Stroking his face as well, she wanted to make sure that his eyes remained on hers. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything you went through after we lost each other. I’m sorry you lost Lucille. I’m sorry for being so angry at you. I’m sorry for expecting more from you than you were capable of giving at the time. More than anything, I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. So please, stop letting the past rule your thoughts. You deserve to be here. You deserve all of this. You’ve gone through enough and I forgive you. You’re right where you belong.”

A trembling exhale fell from Negan’s throat and she could see that a single tear slid down his face. Caressing over the side of his face, she swiped at the tear and heard him let out a desperate breath, “You’re a good man Negan. I love you.”

Caught up in emotions, Negan reached out to wrap his arms around her tightly. Firmly pulling her to his chest, he wrapped her up in his arms and never wanted to let her go. In her embrace he felt like things were okay. Better than they had been in years. Maybe he was silly for getting emotional, but he couldn’t help himself in crying. What she said hit him deep. For so long, he let the nightmares of his past rule him. Even before he found Y/N and Joel again, they were there. Now though, he was so scared he would lose the things he loved because of what he was in the past. It made him believe he didn’t deserve this happiness. This place was heaven for him and there was that fear of losing everything again. So her words really touched him.

There was no speaking for a while. Instead Y/N comforted him and kept him in her arms. In the past, Negan had gone without being touched for so long. Now, he was just eager to be held. And in that moment, it was perfect. It was everything he had longed for after being trapped behind those cell bars for years at Alexandria.

When he finally calmed down, he took the blanket that was inside of the basket and laid it out for them. They sprawled out on the blanket and laid under the starts for hours. There was nothing sexual that happened between the two of them. This was about being close and cuddling. Eventually, there was kissing, but Negan wanted tonight to be special. Sex almost felt like it would ruin the ending of the night and muddy the emotions that they had built up together.

When it was clearly late in the night and it was starting to get cold, Negan suggested them get home. While it was hard to move and leave, the shuddering of Y/N’s body told her she was freezing. Negan was too. Their walk back to the house was drawn out. Negan’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders and her arm was around his waist. It was the perfect end to a date with Negan. As they approached the house, she stopped Negan and stared up at him for a long moment. Tipping up on her toes, she deposited a soft, lingering kiss over his lips and thanked him. The way he looked at her made her heart hammer in her chest. She didn’t even know if there were words to truly dig in how much everything really meant to her.

Moving back into the house with Negan, they closed up the doors and headed upstairs. They checked on both children to make sure they were okay and of course they were. Both of them were sleeping peacefully. It was so late and tomorrow was another early morning, so they had to get to sleep themselves. As they approached the end of the hallway, Y/N could feel Negan attempting to head to his room and she shook her head, not allowing him to. Urging him to follow her toward the bedroom she shared with Joel, she could see that there was apprehension in Negan’s eyes.

“No, you’re coming with me. Negan, you belong with Joel and me. I want to be with the both of you. I understand if you want to go to your bedroom sometimes if you feel overwhelmed or if you want alone time. That room will always be there for you, but from here on out I want you in this bedroom with us,” she demanded and Negan’s eyebrows perked up when she said that. The grasp she had on his hands was firm and he could tell that she meant it. Negan swallowed down hard, but it was clear that he was relieved and happy to hear her say that. “I understand if you don’t want to, that’s okay. I just want to be between the two people that make me feel the safest. I’ve spent enough nights away from you Negan. I don’t want to waste any more.”

“Are you sure?” Negan confirmed and she gave him a small nod. Palming over the sides of her face, Negan kissed from her forehead, down her face until his lips lingered over hers. Taking the time to kiss her, he knew that he was shaking. God, he was a mess, but it wasn’t an awful feeling to be this way. “I want to be there with the both of you too.”

Following her into the bedroom, his eyes immediately fell to Joel seeing that he was in a deep sleep. His stare was broken when Y/N started helping him get out of his clothes to get ready for bed. Even though they weren’t being sexual, she took her time to trace over his body when she removed each item of clothing. When she got Negan down to his boxers, she traced carefully over his chest and down his abdomen. She found absolute beauty in his slender form. There was no doubt that Negan was self-conscious about it, but she thought he was perfect. Eventually, Negan started to help her out of her clothes, but he peppered soft kisses against her flesh. He was careful in the placement, but also kept his eyes on her when he did it. When they were both ready for bed, Y/N led him toward the bed. Crawling into the middle, she knew that Negan often liked being in the middle. It was definitely from the lack of human contact he had and most nights she gave it to him. She felt bad with how things had gone down for him. Negan went through so much and was punished so harshly that she wanted him happy, but tonight she wanted to be between the two men. Call it greedy, but she had the need and want to be between the two men she loved most in the world.

Kneeling on the edge, Negan carefully lowered down beside her when she rolled on her side to face him. When Negan fixed the blankets to pull them in over their bodies, she pulled herself closer to him. With the warmth of Negan’s breath against her face, she knew that he was desperate for that emotional connection. There was a warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt in a long time, yet she knew that it was happiness of knowing that she was with two incredible men. They were so similar, but yet…so exceedingly different. They all helped each other to be the best versions of themselves and hopefully from here on out they would be able to live in the now instead of the past.

“I still believe to this day that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Negan whispered, a small grin developing over his tired features. Negan’s nose nuzzled against hers and she could hear a happy breath fill the air. “I love you so much.”

It didn’t take long for Negan to fall asleep with her close to him, stroking her fingers through his hair. There was no doubt he was tired and she didn’t blame him. He was working his ass off to be everything he could be and more. It would make anyone tired.

When she started to feel the exhaustion wearing in over her, the weight in the bed shifted and she could feel Joel’s muscular arm wrapping around her waist as he cuddled up to her from behind. By the sounds of his breathing, Joel wasn’t even awake. It was just natural for Joel that when he felt her near, he would instinctively hold her. That was something he had gotten used to. Taking care of her and keeping her safe was his number one priority for so long. It was even obvious in the way he was when he was sleeping how much he loved her too. Right now she was content. She was happy. Most of all, she felt blessed to have two men who loved her unconditionally. Two men wanted to protect her and she loved both of them more than anything. With the warmth of them surrounding her, she knew in that moment that right now things were perfect and she loved knowing that she was with the people that made her whole.

----

Curiosity was getting the best of Negan as he followed Joel through the woods. When Negan had woken up this morning, he had panicked to see that it was past the time he should have already been at work. It gave him one hell of a shock, but Joel was just coming out of the shower when Negan was desperately getting out of bed to get ready to rush to work. Apparently, Joel had made a deal with Roy to keep Negan home today and hadn’t told Negan. It gave Negan a long weekend and while he wasn’t going to turn down the offer, he was surprised that Joel didn’t tell him.

When Negan calmed down, Joel had told Negan that he had something important they needed to do. Problem was that he didn’t tell Negan what that was.  Instead, he just had Negan take a shower and get ready. It was strange. Joel was always so open with Negan, so this closed off attitude that Joel had today was awkward. Maybe he was reading Joel wrong, but Joel seemed anxious from the moment that Negan had woken up. It wasn’t like Joel. Desperately, Negan wanted to ask what was going on, but he didn’t want to upset Joel. So after Joel gave Negan the breakfast he had missed and slept through, Joel told Negan they were going to be leaving Arcadia. At first Negan thought maybe Joel was going to show him the ropes of what it took to be part of the group that went scavenging for supplies. That was proven wrong when they didn’t wear the gear that Negan had found Joel and the group in when they first found each other again. Other than having their weapons, it was just like how they would walk to work with the power plant every other day.

It was strange that Joel wanted to go somewhere outside the walls of Arcadia, but Negan just went with it. They had been on a path in the woods for a while and when Joel stopped to look where they were, Negan cleared his throat hoping that Joel would open up.

“So…where are we going?” Negan finally blurt out what he had wanted to for so long. Joel brushed his fingers through his thick hair and surveyed the trees that were surrounding the two of them.

“That’s a secret, but it’s somewhere special,” Joel answered with his deep southern drawl, looking over at Negan with a wink. Continuing to brush his hair back Negan found himself focused on Joel’s haircut. The side parted, thick, layered haircut gave personality to Joel’s chiseled looks and it made Negan laugh with how much he would find Joel touching his own hair. “I promise you will like it when we get there.”

“We’ll see about the whole liking it thing. You know…I’ve just got to ask this. Who do you have cutting your hair?” Negan interrogated Joel with a laugh, making Joel chuckle when he realized that he was brushing his fingers through his hair. “I remember when I first met you; you had this short haircut that was really messy. Now you look like a fucking hair model with it down to the bottom of your neck and you’re always playing with it. Always pushing it out of your face. It’s like you’re trying to always be fucking sexy or some shit.”

“Y/N cuts it,” Joel informed Negan with a laugh and reached up to brush his fingers through his hair again almost instinctively. Deep down Negan really wondered if Joel did it without noticing it or if it was to draw attention to him. Sometimes Negan just thought originally Joel didn’t realize how much he was touching it or brushing his fingers through it, but it always drew Negan’s attention to him. When they first met, Negan was definitely charmed by Joel, but now…Joel was fucking stunning. “I was thinking of getting it cut, maybe it’s getting to be too long. It’s always getting in my eyes.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Negan warned making Joel snort when he said it. The laugh it drew from Joel and the way it made Joel smile also made Negan grin. Joel was often so serious  trying to take care of everyone while also being very passionate that it wasn’t often he got good laughs out of Joel. “It’s not too long. It just reaches the bottom of your neck and it’s not too short. Plus…”

“Plus…?” Joel’s eyebrow arched up, waiting for a response from Negan who chuckled and looked down for a moment. A wicked expression was over Negan’s face when their eyes connected again. “What?”

“I like having that hair to grab onto when we’re getting intimate,” Negan confessed making Joel burst out in laughter and Negan stepped forward. Boldly grabbing a hold of Joel’s hair, he pulled Joel’s mouth to his and kissed Joel forcefully making Joel grunt against the kiss. When he pulled his mouth away from Joel’s, Negan growled and nipped at Joel’s full, bottom lip. “See what I mean? It’s useful and it’s fucking hot.”

“Is it now? I guess I’ll have to keep the haircut for you then,” Joel slurred when Negan greedily pulled Joel close to him again so their lips could connect. Instead of letting the kiss continue, Joel pulled away almost in a teasing fashion. Joel’s green-hazel eyes were hooked on Negan’s. Both of their breathing was heavy and Joel nodded in the other direction. “We need to go this way.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what we’re doing exactly?” Negan poked playfully at Joel’s ribs and Joel pushed at Negan’s hands with a snicker.

“It’s a secret,” Joel explained, looking back at Negan with an amused expression knowing that Negan would hate that answer. When he noticed the frustrated look that Negan gave him, it made Joel chuckle and he sighed heavily. “So how was your date at the movies?”

“It’s a secret,” Negan repeated Joel’s earlier answer and the amused sound that erupted from Joel’s throat made it hard for Negan to be sassy with Joel. Quickening his walking, Negan made it so he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Joel while they walked. “It was really nice. I think we did a good job in making her feel special which is really what I wanted.”

“There was no we, that was all you,” Joel lifted his hand to press it in over his chest and Negan gave him a glare. It was nice that Joel was trying to give Negan complete credit for the night, but Negan knew better. If it wasn’t for Joel, most of that couldn’t have been done. They would have had a full theater and the lake wouldn’t have been set up like it was. Thankfully he did have Joel in his back pocket, but the fact Joel wasn’t taking credit for some of it just felt wrong.

“The town would not have agreed to those stipulations if it wasn’t for you,” Negan reminded Joel with a stern look, “With the help of you and the kids, it made it twice as special for her…and for me. I love you guys.”

“We love you too Negan and we’d do anything to make special moments for you,” Joel reached up to pat Negan on the shoulder. The expression Joel gave Negan made Negan truly believe him. Then again, Joel had been proving it from day one that he would do anything for Negan and the ones that Joel loved. There was no doubting that Joel was an amazing man. Pulling his eyes from Joel’s, Negan could see between the trees that there was a body of water not far in the distance. Tilting his head to the side, Negan assumed they would be headed that way, but he wasn’t sure where. “So did the date have a happy ending?”

“Are you asking me if we had sex?” Negan countered, his nose wrinkling when Joel shot him a confused look. “A gentleman never kisses and tells Joel. You should know that.”

“I’m guess I’m not much of a gentleman anymore then because you are usually there to watch when I’m kissing. There is nothing to tell because you see it all,” Joel teased and then simply shrugged his shoulders. Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong there and it made Negan snort. “I actually meant were you happy and not disappointed with how things went down. I know there is only so much you can do to make things special nowadays.”

“Yeah, it was fucking perfect. We kissed a little bit before finishing the movie. Truthfully, it was good because we got to talk about things,” Negan was honest and Joel’s thick eyebrows tensed while he listened closely to Negan. “After the movie we went to the lake. I was upset about the past and we just had a really good discussion that made me feel better about things. We laid under the stars for a while before coming home to be with you. It was a good night.”

“Good, good. I’m glad,” Joel stopped walking long enough to eye Negan over as they approached a stone bridge. It was definitely an older bridge that had been there for quite some time. It went over a stream that would make it easier for them to get closer to the large body of water. Turning to Negan, Joel reached out and grabbed at his shoulders to give them a firm squeeze. “Negan, you know you don’t always have to think about the past, right? You’re not the same Negan you were then.”

“I’m gradually learning to accept that,” Negan confessed, a loud sigh falling from his throat. His jaw was flexing and he lifted his hand to touch Joel’s hand that was over his face. “It’s hard thinking about the person that I used to be. There are people more deserving of this life than me.”

“I know you think you were awful, but there was a reason that people still loved you…even back then,” Joel reminded Negan of the fact he was loved long before the world fell to shit. Deep down, Negan knew that be to true. Three people loved him at that time and it was a good thing to know, but hard to remember. “I still remember the old you hopping out of my car mid kiss to go and save someone’s life after hearing a car accident. You weren’t as bad as you thought you were. Broken, but not bad.”

“You saw more in me then than I ever did. I hurt a lot of people and I just kept getting worse until Grimes cut my throat open,” Negan thought back to the moment his rule was ended with the Saviors. Back then, he truly thought he was saving people, but he never realized how bad it was making him.

“Yeah, well like I said when people lose everything they lose themselves. You realized you were wrong and you changed yourself for the better. What those people did to, the way you were tortured…it was wrong,” Joel grunted when he thought back to what Negan had told him. “When I look at you, I see a good man.”

Negan didn’t know what to say. Joel simply pat the side of his face before moving onto the bridge. Joel stopped at the center of it and was looking down into the water, “You’re not thinking of jumping in, are you?”

“Even if I was, it wouldn’t do much. I think it would go up to about my hips,” Joel grunted, his eyebrow arching when Negan moved in closer to him. Joel waved his hand to motion Negan in beside him and smiled. “Come look at this.”

“Look at what?” Negan stammered as he slid in beside Joel. Looking into the water, he didn’t know what Joel was so excited about. All Negan could see was their reflections in the water and didn’t know if Joel was trying to symbolize something with bringing him over there. “All I see is two ridiculously good looking men staring at the water like a couple of idiots…”

“The fish Negan,” Joel once again laughed at Negan’s response and Negan snorted when he realized the area that Joel was pointing. When Joel actually pointed out where he was looking, Negan spotted the large amount of fish in the distance. “This is where we often come to get the fish that we have. People haven’t found this spot and there is a ton of fish here.”

“That’s cool…I guess? Are we fucking fishing or something?” Negan tried to figure out what they were doing and Joel shook his head. “Then what the fuck are we doing out here? I’m not usually comfortable with people taking me out into the middle of the woods without telling me what we are doing.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Joel frowned making Negan feel immediately guilty with the expression that Joel gave him. Hitting Joel in the chest he could hear Joel chuckle when it obviously upset Negan that he said that.

“Of course I fucking trust you. I probably trust you more than anyone, but it still doesn’t stop my curiosity,” Negan followed Joel off the bridge and through the path in the woods until he saw an old cabin in the distance that was right by the edge of the water.

Stopping on the path, Negan felt his heart pounding inside of his chest seeing it. Immediately Negan thought the worst seeing that he was being taken to another place away from a community. His fears immediately started to eat away at him when Joel had stumbled to stop walking when he noticed Negan wasn’t with him. It was causing Negan to flashback to the moment he was taken to the house that Alexandria had thrown him in when they decided to banish him.

“Hey, come on,” Joel waved on Negan to get him to come. When Negan didn’t move because he was frozen in his own fears, Joel moved to reach for Negan. Wrapping his fingers around Negan’s arm, he broke Negan from himself to get Negan’s eyes to connect with his. “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry,” Negan lied, swallowing down hard as he dragged his feet to follow Joel to the cabin. When they got there, he nervously followed Joel up the steps. Joel moved a brick to grab a key and held it up to show Negan the key. Saying nothing, he followed Joel in the cabin and let out a surprised sound when he saw how nice it was on the inside. It was furnished with a lot of nice things and it impressed him that someone wouldn’t have fucked with the cabin already. “What is this?”

“This is the place that Y/N and I go when we just need a day away from Arcadia, you know? Or maybe just a night. It’s calm, it was something we found before we built Arcadia and we’ve been lucky enough that no one has really damaged it or tried to loot it,” Joel explained, setting his weapon down on the couch that was in there.

Surveying the small cabin, Negan took notice of the big windows at the front of it that looked out at the large body of water. This was definitely someone’s hideaway before the world fell to shit. It wasn’t a big place, but it was still very nice. There was a kitchen that was hidden away at the far end of the cabin across from the entrance. The couch was against the left wall. The bed was against the right and there was a nice little area before the kitchen where there was a fireplace. Two seats were in front of it. There was an acoustic guitar resting up against the wall by the fireplace and Negan knew that was one of Joel’s. While it was nice, Negan was still confused as to why Joel brought him there and made such a big deal about it.

Negan stood frozen as Joel moved over toward the bed and hopped on it letting out a please sound, “The bed here is actually nicer. I wish we would have taken this one to our house. I know we have the queen at the farm, but this one…come try it.”

Listening, Negan lowered himself unhurriedly on the bed to lie down beside Joel. Dread kind of filled Negan’s veins when he thought about the cabin. It just brought bad memories back from what Alexandria had done in banishing him from the community. There was a fear that Joel was bringing him here to leave him here. Yes, it was already better than the home that Alexandria had given him, but he didn’t want to be alone. Not again.

“It’s nice, right?” Joel confirmed turning his head to look at Negan and Negan nodded. Joel was staring at Negan and it looked like Joel was going to say something before stopping himself. Turning on his side, Negan reached for Joel’s face and made Joel look at him. “I come here a lot to empty my mind.”

“What do we need to empty our minds about?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched, but a nervous sound fell from Joel’s throat as he pulled himself up on the edge of the bed. When Joel stood, he held his hand out for Negan’s and pulled Negan back toward the door. Once they got outside, Joel dropped down on one of the steps to sit. It was definitely a beautiful view of the lake and Negan could understand why Joel would come here to empty his head or just relax. Lowering down on the step that was above the one where Joel was sitting, Negan kept his eyes locked on Joel. “Joel?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about this place. When things get overwhelming, I like to come here and just think. It’s beautiful here. It inspires me,” Joel continued to ramble on about the cabin and the location while Negan grasped tightly to the stair that was beneath him. “It’s a special place for me, which is why I wanted to bring you here with me.”

Negan remained quiet and he heard Joel’s uneasy breath fill the air. The firm grasp of Joel’s hand over his knee was felt and Negan nervously licked at his bottom lip while Joel caressed over his leg. Joel went to talk, but stopped midway to think about what he wanted to say.

“Don’t make fun of me, okay?” Joel finally spoke up and his eyebrows were furrowed. Joel seemed a little pale while they were sitting together. Negan’s thick eyebrows arched up and an amused smirk pressed over Negan’s lips. Instead of showing that he was terrified, Negan put on a fake expression hoping to keep things light.

“Well now when you say that I want to make fun of you for whatever shit you’re going to say next,” Negan snorted and Joel rolled his eyes making Negan chuckle. “You can’t say don’t make fun of me and expect me not to poke fun at you after you say that.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting from you,” Joel smirked and bit at his bottom lip while letting the silence sit between the two of them for a moment. It took some courage for Joel to talk and he lifted his head up to stare at Negan. “There is something very important I wanted to talk to you about for a while now.”

“Okay, when you start it like that…that shits scares me,” Negan was honest, his jaw flexing when he watched Joel shift his weight on the stairs. “You brought me out in the middle of nowhere to talk…”

“What do you think I’m going to do?” Joel turned on the step so he could stare out at Negan with his intense green-hazel eyes.

“I know I haven’t been doing the best in the community. I’m trying, but I know…I know I’m not everyone’s favorite person,” Negan grumbled knowing that he had made a few enemies already in the town and there was no doubt that a certain amount of people already hated him. “Just seeing that you were leading me to a secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere…”

“Do you think I’m going to kick you out?” Joel’s face scrunched up and he let out a hesitant laugh. Nodding, Negan lowered his stare from Joel and within seconds he felt Joel reaching out to touch his face. “Fucking hell Negan, no. I’m so sorry, that was not my plan at all. No, that’s not at all what this is. I would never do that to you. I swear.”

“Really?” Negan let out a relieved breath when Joel put enough pressure under Negan’s jaw to lift Negan’s gaze to his. There was no hiding that Negan was actually physically scared with what was about to happen. The idea of being alone actually scared Negan the most and he was shaken up from the idea. Being alone the time he was really fucked him up to begin with. Trying to get his heart to calm down, Negan tried to pull his eyes from Joel’s embarrassed that he had gotten so worked up.

“Negan, I would pick you over anyone in the town outside of our family in an instant. I don’t care what people think of you, I would never kick you out. I love you. What those people did to you before…that was cruel,” Joel vented, stroking over the side of Negan’s rough face clearly feeling guilty for leaving Negan feeling the way he did. “Most of the town agrees that you deserve to be there. Maybe call me selfish, but I never want to be without you again Negan. Now that we have you in our lives, I would never want you to leave. I will fight to keep you with me for as long as I can. My family comes first before everything. You’re my family. You’re the silliest, most charming…”

Joel’s words were cut off when Negan slid forward and his lips collided with Joel’s. Kissing Joel over and over again, Negan sank his fingers into the other man’s hair and pulled away with a desperate breath, “I’ve never had someone want to stand up for me.”

“I will always fight for you,” Joel promised feeling Negan’s forehead resting against his and Joel smiled. There was still a nervousness in the way that Joel was acting and Negan didn’t understand where it was coming from. “You’ll have to forgive me; I like to make grand gestures and I want this to be special for you. I also don’t know if you will think this is fucking ridiculous. You see, I was thinking about how important you are to this family. We all love you so very much. Life has been exceedingly better with you here. Not that we weren’t happy, but you are that…missing puzzle piece we were always looking for. I want you to know you’re appreciated. I want you to feel like you’re our partner. Not someone that is a third wheel. Y/N and I love you so much.”

“I know that and I love the both of you,” Negan brushed his fingers in over the back of Joel’s neck and let out a tense breath. “I just got scared. You have to understand, I get panicked and think that I’m fucking up people’s lives because that’s all I’ve ever been told. Seeing this place just scared me into thinking that maybe I fucked up and the both of you were ready to let me go after my trial period. So to hear you confirm that you didn’t feel that way helps. I get…panicked and shit.”

“After everything you went through, I don’t blame you Negan,” Joel responded tipping his head up to press a lingering kiss over Negan’s forehead. When he pulled back, Joel stroked his thumb in over Negan’s cheekbone. “I know when we were younger and this started, it wasn’t supposed to be serious. Hell, you opened me up to things that…”

“I know what I opened you up to,” Negan snickered and Joel rolled his eyes when Negan said that, “I took a tight ass Texan and made him realize there was more to life. Your roots just made you too scared to be who you were. I just stopped giving a shit a long time ago with who I was. I knew when I was a kid that I found both women and men attractive. I think I gave my daddy a fucking heart attack when he found his son, the baseball star in fucking bed with another man. People try to make us feel weird for that shit, but you can’t help who you like. I will admit to you though, you’re the first man that I think…I’ve ever loved. It’s easy wanting to fuck you Joel. I saw why Y/N liked you immediately when I saw you. Other than you were a knock off of me.”

“Oh fuck off,” Joel groaned reaching out to shove into Negan’s chest making Negan snort when he said it.

“But you were better, in every way possible,” Negan suddenly became serious, reaching out to grab a hold of Joel’s jaw to get him to look at him. “I don’t think I loved another man in my life. You’re the first, but you make it easy to love you Joel. I think in the past I would have also been afraid or embarrassed to admit that I loved another man, but at this point in my life I’m so glad I have people I love in my life. Being alone was the worst and I never want to be that way again. Finding out you guys were still here was the best fucking day of my life. Then learning that Nolan existed was by far more than I could ever hope for.”  

“Obviously, you’re the only man I’ve slept with, but also the only man I’ve ever loved as well,” Joel snorted feeling Negan playfully smack at his cheek. Reaching up, Joel grabbed a hold of Negan’s rough hand and sighed. “I want you to feel like you belong with us.”

Negan’s head tilted to the side when he noticed Joel go a bit pale. Attempting to read what Joel was thinking was hard, but he just waited for Joel to speak up again.

“Which is why I want the three of us to be official. I know it’s not very conventional and people will probably judge all of us for it, but I don’t give a fuck. People have been judging us already and they’ve judged me my whole life,” Joel muttered and pulled back making Negan give him a shifty eyed expression. “I don’t want you to feel like the third wheel. I want you to know how important you are to both me and Y/N. I want you to wake up every morning knowing that you are ours…and we are yours.”

“If I didn’t know better Joel I would think you were proposing to me,” Negan joked and he saw the expression that Joel gave him making Negan let out a hesitant laugh. “Wait a second…”

“Well, you never really did know better,” Joel got up from the step he was on and reached for something from his back pocket. Joel lifted the golden band up and saw Negan’s eyes get wide when he saw the golden band. “I have one for both Y/N and me too in my pocket. Someone in town helped me to get these and they…they aren’t spectacular, but I…”

“You want me to be your husband?” Negan tilted his head to the side and he saw Joel’s jaw flex, his face flushing over. “Does Y/N know you are asking me this?”

“No, I didn’t think it would be necessary to bring it up to her yet. Especially if you hated the idea and didn’t want to do it,” Joel explained and he looked down at the gold wedding band that he had for Negan. “I know this isn’t a normal relationship. The three of us is very different, but I love you. Y/N loves you. We both just feel like life is so much better with you here. You make our family whole. I know you’re not into these sweet, romantic gestures especially coming from me…”

“Who said that?” Negan grunted and Joel shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not the same man I was when I was younger Joel. I just…I want you to do something before I make my decision.”

“What’s that?” Joel saw Negan looking over the wedding band.

“I want you to get on your knee,” Negan’s head cocked to the side and he made a dramatic motion with his head. “If you’re going to propose to me, you have to do it right.”

“Is this just to make fun of me?” Joel snorted and Negan snapped his fingers while he pointed down at the ground. Joel let out a heavy sigh and slowly lowered down to one knee. Negan let out an amused sound when he saw Joel before him.

“I never thought I would enjoy the sight of you on your knees more than when you are doing a certain sexual act,” Negan grunted with a long, drawn out laugh. Joel looked down toward the ground and when Negan snapped his fingers, it drew Joel’s eyes up to Negan’s. “Yeah. I mean if Y/N would be okay with it. I’d love being the other husband.”

Joel almost looked shocked when Negan stood up from the steps to move to Joel. Negan reached for the wedding band and looked at it, “This is why you measured my hands that one day? Here I was fucking believing you were actually making some kind of special pair of gloves…”

“Well I couldn’t tell you that I was looking for your ring size,” Joel pointed out and Negan surveyed the golden band.

“How are we doing this? Obviously I don’t think we can have a big ceremony at Arcadia because I’m not sure a lot of people would attend or understand,” Negan played out the idea in his head and he sighed heavily. Taking the ring, he slid it down over his finger on his right hand and let out a hesitant breath. It had been so long since he had been married. The idea of it scared him, but maybe this would be his chance to do something right. To get that second chance that he had always wanted in life, but didn’t think he deserved. Looking at his left hand, he knew the wedding band originally was supposed to go there, but since Joel and Y/N would have to have theirs on their right, he wanted his to be just like theirs.

“In my opinion you’ve already said yes, you’re already my husband. The world isn’t conventional anymore Negan. It’s not like we’re going to fill out paperwork. I just think you saying yes and you wearing the ring are enough for me. Unless it’s not enough for you,” Joel saw Negan spinning the ring over his finger and he swallowed down hard. After a moment, Negan stepped forward and reached for Joel’s hand. Joel accepted and stood slowly feeling Negan moving in closer to him. “I just think it’s good we made this whole thing official.”

“Give me yours…” Negan held his hand out and Joel reached into his other pocket to dig out the one that was supposed to be his. Negan took Joel’s wedding band Joel had made and smiled. “Twelve years ago if you would have told me that I would have been fucking thrilled to be both yours and Y/N’s husband, I would have laughed.”

“Twelve years ago we wouldn’t have been able to do it,” Joel reminded Negan with a crooked grin and Negan reached for Joel’s hand.

“You really love me?” Negan confirmed and Joel nodded.

“Sarcasm and all,” Joel established with a wink and Negan pushed the wedding band up Joel’s ring finger on his right hand since Joel already had his other wedding ring on the left. Joel could see that there was an emotion he couldn’t quite read behind Negan’s eyes and he reached out with his other hand to caress over Negan’s thick neck. “What is it?”

“I never thought I would ever be loved again, you know?” Negan’s bottom lip trembled and he leaned into Joel’s touch. “Just knowing that you would want to be married to me after everything I did, it blows my mind. Like I don’t fucking deserve you. You really want to be with me?”

“I do,” Joel hushed Negan, sliding his fingers up the back of Negan’s neck.

“I do,” Negan repeated Joel’s words, letting out a tight laugh knowing that it was like getting married in a way. Moving forward, his lips collided with Joel’s and he kissed the man he considered one of his lovers over and over again. “Part of me is jealous that you get to ask Y/N to marry you again with that third final ring. I always wondered what your wedding was like.”

Negan reached for Joel’s other hand where his original wedding band was. Joel urged Negan to look up at him and Negan let out a quivering exhale, “We just did something like this. Truthfully, she was in labor with Nolan and it was just the two of us in the cabin. I think she was very emotional and we were already engaged so it just felt like the right time to do it. We sealed it off with a kiss and I dos. Kind of like this.”

“Damn,” Negan could almost picture what Joel was saying inside of his head and he sighed heavily. “I wish I wouldn’t have given up looking for you both. I wish I was there to see Nolan born. Missing out on so much…”

“It’s not your fault Negan,” Joel silenced Negan and he reached his hand inside of his pocket to pull out the ring he had for Y/N. All three of them matched and Joel handed Negan over the ring. “You want to ask her to marry you and do it right? Now is your chance.”

“Really? Even though it’s your idea?” Negan stammered and Joel nodded, his eyes searching Negan’s for a long moment. Of course Negan wanted to do it, he just didn’t know if that was the right thing to do since all of this was Joel’s idea. “You’re okay with that?”

“Yes, I’m okay with that. I just want to see you do it,” Joel insisted and Negan pulled Joel in to kiss him again. “We should get back before the kids return from school so we can figure out what it is you want to do when you ask her.”

“I love you,” Negan hummed against Joel’s lips after he stole another kiss from Joel.

“I love you too,” Joel responded with a bright smile and Negan brushed his fingers through Joel’s hair. Cherishing the moment, Negan wanted to remember this whole scenario in his mind before they left. After they grabbed their supplies and locked up the cabin Negan began to follow Joel back toward town and he couldn’t help himself from playing with the ring that was over his finger. It felt so right, but so foreign at the same time. The more he thought about it, the more he started to think about how much he actually liked Joel. Their relationship started off in a very strange way, but the more he grew to know Joel, the more he had fallen in love with him. Joel was perfect. In every way imaginable and he was glad that Y/N brought Joel into their lives. Thinking for a long moment, he looked at Joel and shoved him back. A gasp fell from Joel’s throat when he felt his body slamming up against one of the large trees in the woods. “Negan?”

Negan’s fingers pulled apart Joel’s belt and he could hear Joel’s breathing get worried while Negan pulled apart the material. Fumbling with the belt, Negan managed to get it apart and then reached to open up Joel’s pants.

“What are you doing? Someone could see us,” Joel reminded Negan and Negan leaned forward to kiss over the side of Joel’s neck. His hand pushed beneath Joel’s pants and connected with Joel’s masculinity, working to get him hard against his caress. “Jesus.”

“You better be on watch then,” Negan growled, biting at the side of Joel’s neck and he dropped down to his knees in front of Joel. Pushing up the material of Joel’s plaid shirt that he was wearing, Negan deposited wet kisses over the area right below Joel’s navel. “Keep us safe.”

“Negan, you don’t have to do that,” Joel insisted feeling the firm tug of Negan’s palms to his jeans where they pooled at his ankles. Swallowing down hard, Joel felt Negan peppering kisses over his toned hips.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to,” Negan insisted, his hazel eyes staring up at Joel with mischief behind his beautiful gaze. “So just rest your head back and enjoy it.”

----

“This is so random,” Y/N announced as she walked hand in hand with Joel to the cabin that they would rarely visit these days with how busy they had been. “Are you sure that the kids and Negan will be okay without us there? Negan is still pretty new to the town and I don’t want to leave him vulnerable to the rest of the town.”

“Everything is okay. Roy and his wife are on backup for us with the kids, but I just really wanted to come out here today. I don’t know why, but I just wanted the two of us to be able to be together for a little while,” Joel informed her, nudging her playfully with his hip and he sighed.  Staring at her, Joel focused on how beautiful she was. There was a mixture of curiosity in her eyes and worry. Curiosity as to why he was taking her where he was and the worry was about their family. It was all very cute. “You know how much I love you, right?”

“Of course I do,” she stopped walking for a moment to turn in Joel’s arms and felt him loosely wrapping them around her. Stroking her hand in over the center of his chest, she tipped up on her toes and met him in a loving kiss. His short beard tickled against her flesh and it made her smile in the middle of the kiss. “You are everything to me.”

“And you’re everything to me,” Joel repeated her words, giving her a wink that made her let out a long sigh. Never in the twelve years she had been with Joel had she ever doubted that. Joel dedicated his life to her and their family. She admired Joel and loved him entirely so much. “I love you so much and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know that.”

“You are the best human being I’ve ever known,” she whispered, meeting his lips in another kiss and felt his grasp tightening around her waist. Stroking her fingers over the side of his face, she pushed her fingers up and into his hair. In his arms she would always feel safe. “You’re stunning.”

“And you are beautiful,” Joel gave a wink before peppering kisses over her lips. The playful kisses drew giggles to fall from her throat and she tipped back hearing the amusement in his breathing. “You are the best wife, the best mother and I’m so blessed to have you in my life. You were everything I could have hoped for and more.”

“God, just when I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do,” she hopped up in closer to him again to kiss him repeatedly. Joel groaned into her mouth when he felt her getting touchy with him. “We should probably get to that cabin, huh?”

Joel said nothing, just followed her as she eagerly tugged him toward the cabin. When they reached it, Joel dug his heels in and pulled her back toward him which confused her, “What is it?”

“It’s just beautiful out here tonight and I want to enjoy it with you in my arms for a few minutes,” Joel moved with her toward the water. The edge of the ground was a bit above the water and it was raised just enough so when the waves splashed it wouldn’t hit the cabin. Reaching the edge, she felt Joel’s arms hook around her waist from behind and he pulled her in closer to him. Cuddling back into his muscular chest, she enjoyed the warmth of him around her. The air around them was brisk and cool. Being near the water definitely made it feel colder. “My life is better because of you, you know that? All I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy.”

“You do. You always have,” she wrapped her arms around his and rest her head back against his collarbone. “I’d be lost without you.���

“You’ll never have to be without me,” Joel promised depositing a kiss over the side of her neck. Closing her eyes, she could tell that he was focusing on the area of her neck that he knew that she liked. Reaching her hand back, she brushed her fingers through his hair and shuddered against the motion of his lips. “I love you sweetheart. I hope you know I will always do what I think is best for you. What’s best for our family.”

“I have no doubts with that,” she opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder. Joel lowered in to kiss her and she hummed happily against his mouth while they kissed.

“Do me a favor and close your eyes baby. I have a surprise for you,” Joel nuzzled his nose against hers and it made her let out an amused sound.  

“Oh geez,” she chuckled, doing as she was instructed. Slowly his arms unwrapped from her and she heard the sound of movement behind her. Curiosity was getting the best of her, but she did what Joel asked of her and kept her eyes closed.

“You can open your eyes and turn around,” the voice was not Joel’s, but was that of Negan’s. Opening her eyes, she let out a confused breath and gradually turned on her heel to look behind her. When her eyes fell upon what was before her, she let out a surprised sound. Negan was down on his knee, holding a golden ring between his fingers. “I know this might be kind of strange, but what isn’t strange these days?”

Negan cracked a smile, his dimples showing twice as much when he took a moment to breathe, “I know I screwed up in the past and it made you question a lot of things over the last twelve years, but I am head over heels in love with you. I never thought I would ever know what it was like to love and be loved in return, but with you and Joel I know that I was wrong. You and this family have been my redemption in life. You’re everything to me. You’re beautiful, you’re strong, perfect and the most amazing woman I know. Having you in my life is everything I could have ever hoped for and more. I love you more than you will ever begin to know. I was hoping that maybe...you would like to be my wife as well and you would like to have me as your husband too?”

Lifting her gaze, Y/N saw Joel sitting on the steps of the cabin watching the two of them from where he was sitting. Joel knew about this? This was not something she was expecting. Truthfully, she never expected something like this. Shaking, she could feel her heart pounding inside of her chest. Her eyes were focused on Joel’s and he smirked when he noticed that she was staring out at him.

The soft grasp of Negan’s fingers grabbed a hold of hers and she gave him back her attention as his eyebrows bounced up, “You can say no if you want to. I understand that this is all rather fast, I just know…in this world you have to jump on your opportunities. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our family. I know what makes me happy and I never want to let it go. It’s you and that guy over my shoulder along with those two beautiful children.”

“And you’re okay with this?” she confirmed with Negan seeing the way he eagerly nodded before she lifted her gaze to Joel to make sure he was okay with it too. This wasn’t even something that she had talked about with Joel. Joel was her husband. Negan was just part of their relationship. Thinking of adding him as her husband didn’t seem like something that even would come to her mind. Yet, here she was and she wasn’t exactly turned off by the idea. “Joel, would you be okay with this?”

“It’d be kind of strange if I wasn’t,” Joel raised the hand where the ring he shared with Negan was. Releasing a shocked sound, seeing that made her cheeks flush over, “Considering he’s kind of already my husband.”

“What?” she laughed looking between the two boys and Negan raised his hand to show that he was wearing a matching golden ring. “You married him first, huh?”

“To be fair, it was his idea,” Negan cracked a smile and she lowered her head into her palm letting out a laugh. The idea that Negan and Joel were married already kind of amused her. It was nice to know that the two of them loved each other too. There was always that fear that they would be jealous of each other. Yet, hearing that they were already ‘married’ made her feel so much better about everything. They definitely did love each other and she admired that too. When she lowered her hands from her face, her eyes connected with Negan’s and she could see that he was nervous about asking her. “He just let me do this because I said I was jealous and wished I could have done it. I want the three of us to be able to be together to be happy. I love you so much and I want to be able to spend the rest of my proving it to you. So…what do you say? Will you marry me?”

There was a silence that filled the air and it drove Negan to panic without her actually answering him. A gasp fell from his throat when he felt her swiftly moving across the area to lower herself enough to wrap her arms around his shoulders and her lips immediately came crashing over his. After kissing her a few times, Negan pulled away and let out a surprised breath, “Does that mean yes?”

“That means yes,” she chuckled now that she was on her knees with Negan and he eagerly reached for her opposite hand that she didn’t have her original wedding ring to put it on her finger. “So it’s official now, huh?”

“It is,” Negan snickered, picking her up off the ground and spinning her around in his arms. When he set her down, he saw her wave Joel on and Joel carefully got up from the steps. When he got close to them, she eagerly jumped into Joel’s arms and Joel caught her. His arms were hooked under her bottom while she kissed him over and over again. When he lowered her down to the ground Negan let out a laugh and shrugged his shoulders. “I feel a little left out. I want to jump into your arms.”

“Bring it on handsome,” Joel waved Negan on and Negan rolled his eyes, but Joel stepped before Negan and picked him up in his arms making Negan burst out with laughter. “Hey Y/N, should I carry my husband over the threshold.”

“Absolutely,” she laughed watching Joel moving up the steps. Negan’s boisterous laughter filled the air and he was absolutely amused with Joel carrying him. It was hard not giggling herself at the two men in her life being silly while she followed them toward the cabin. When Joel got Negan into the cabin, he carefully set Negan back onto his feet. Almost immediately Negan reached out to curl his fingers around the back of Joel’s neck to pull him into a lingering kiss.

“Never act like I’m not capable of carrying your ass around,” Joel laughed against Negan’s lips before nodding toward the door where he still saw Y/N on the steps. “Now it’s her turn.”

Negan turned on his heel and saw that Y/N was at the door. Grabbing a hold of her, Negan picked her up in his arms and carried her into the cabin, kicking the door closed with his foot before moving over toward the bed to drop her on top of it. The movement made him fall in over her and his lips collided with hers but their laughs interrupted their kisses. Joel sat on the edge of the bed and before he could even make another sound Negan reached for the back of Joel’s shirt to pull him back on the bed with them.

“So we all just made this a bit more complicated, huh?” Negan lifted his hand to look at the golden band on his hand and Y/N lifted hers to press her hand against his. Nodding her head toward theirs, Joel lifted his hand as well and grabbed a hold of theirs. “I can’t think of two people I would rather share this life with. I love you both so very much.”

----

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[itsclydebitches]

Hi Clyde! I know this might be a bit late to the conversation but I just wanted to ask if you think M&K are writing Yang through a male lens? Not in the sense she's hyper-sexualised, but in the sense she lashes out at her allies without consequences (Fiona), has little empathy for female survivors of abuse (Salem and Blake) and gives her loved ones the cold shoulder when she doesn't agree with them rather than trying to reach an understanding (Blake and Ren).

Hi there, anon! No one is ever late to the conversation around here, not when I'm forever answering months-old asks lol

On the whole I would say no, simply because - as many others have pointed out in regards to other posts - this behavior is by no means seen solely in Yang. Ruby is out there lashing out in Volume 6, Jaune was giving Ren the same cold shoulder, no one else has expressed any empathy for the abuse survivors lately (though Yang might actually have a point in her favor there, given her talk with Weiss in Volume 5, when she learns about her mom's drinking). My point being, pretty much everyone is written with this classic masculine lens right now, where being angry, violent, and dismissive are framed as the correct way to approach problems, whether we're talking about Weiss shoving her weapon in Whitley's face, or Nora coolly brushing aside Ren's concerns. The exceptions being, to my mind, Ren - who learned this season that considering a kinder, more strategic approach is wrong - and Oscar who is embodying the archetype of the innocent child so fully that it allows him to forgive/grant absolution outside of the bounds of the story's internal logic and gendered expectations. Him reaching out to Hazel, Emerald, and even Ozpin is less a commentary on gender and more an extreme upholding of his status as the youngest and, comparatively, most innocent (which, as said previously, bumps up against Ruby's same, former status). Think Harry Potter, destroying evil with the love in his skin as an 11yo by merely touching Quirrel's face, not an older teenager hurling a dark curse at Malfoy while overflowing with rage. Oscar is still very much in that initial stage of being the young, baby-faced character who is not yet jaded and is thus able to overcome evil purely by wishing it so. Yet everyone else, including Yang, gets by on lies, secrets, violence, and anger - no matter how much the story wants to dress it up as heroics. So Yang is by no means alone in that.

What does interest me regarding Yang characterization right now is not, strictly speaking, about Yang. Rather, it’s about the presumed relationship with Blake and how changes to Blake’s character have reflected back on Yang. I won’t go into a full, eight season analysis of it here, but suffice to say, Blake’s personality has taken a sharp dive lately, most notably in the most recent volume. She used to be an opinionated, outspoken woman, the kind of person who marched up to Weiss in the middle of the street to denounce her family’s slavery, fighting for her people with as much intensity in a conversation as she gave on the battlefield. This is the woman who stormed off in anger at Weiss’ racism, demanded a solemn oath from Yang if she was going to believe her about the Mercury fight, rallied an army to defend Haven, set her own house on fire to defend her parents... I could go on. Blake used to only be quiet when it came to settling down with a good book. Now she’s far more meek and submissive. She’s been reduced to blushing prettily at Yang’s praise, begging Ruby to save her, going along with Yang’s plans for betrayal because she’s scared about killing again, clasping Ruby’s hands to assure her that she’ll save them all, etc. I use the term “reduced” intentionally because, on their own, there’s nothing wrong with any of these traits. If anything, Blake should be a more well-rounded character for being able to collapse crying over Adam, or go tongue-tied at a compliment. The problem lies in replacing her original personality with this new one: softer, less confrontational, less skilled, no longer as determined, no longer as angry, keeping to the background to play at comic relief or the damsel in distress. I bring all this up because - within the comparatively slim queer rep we’ve gotten in media - there’s a long history of writing them so that one is clearly the “man” in the relationship and the other is clearly the “woman.” This extends from visual markers like dividing them between assumed masculine and feminine clothing preferences - who wears dresses and who can pass for a boy in a baseball hat and sweats? - to caching in on equally assumed personality traits - who is the calm and compassionate individual; who has the temper and is constantly itching for a fight? To use two examples, think of couples like Sapphire and Ruby, or Kurt and Blaine. One is a cool blue in flowy dresses, always working to be sensible, while the other is an angry red in a sensible shirt and pants, easily pissed off. One is practicing a version of Beyoncé's “Single Ladies” in a sequined leotard, framed as the lady, whereas the other sings “Teenage Dream” in a suit at the piano, a song meant to appeal to the teenage girls watching, no matter the character’s sexuality. I’m simplifying a LOT here, including the context for the times (Glee) and the ways in which this divide is sometimes flipped (Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding), but my point is that whether authors realize it or not, they often force their queer characters into the gender binary, even while they’re supposedly meant to be challenging those norms. Blake and Yang, to get to a long-winded point, are becoming a part of that trend, wherein the closer they get to becoming a canonical couple, the more classically feminized Blake becomes. That, in turn, positions Yang as the “man” of the relationship. Already embodying some of those assumptions with her tough personality and brawl fight style, Blake’s regression into someone in need of rescue, someone less likely to speak up, someone who is visually positioned as less confident and in need of emotional care (think of her drooped ears and inability to make eye contact in “Ultimatum)” only increases that reading, especially given arcs like Yang’s insistence that she doesn’t need anyone protecting her, morphing into her becoming Blake’s protector instead. Yes, the dialogue states that they protect each other, but we all know RWBY struggles to show what the characters claim. Scenes like Yang arriving on a badass motorcycle to fight the majority of the battle against Adam, ending with her cradling a sobbing Blake who promises to never leave her side, or confidently taking Blake’s cheek in hand to comfort her after their not-fight, a moment of confidence and (unneeded) forgiveness... this all speaks volumes of something RWBY doesn’t think is there. So I don’t believe it’s intentional and, as said, there are a lot of complexities to take into account here, but I nevertheless don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’ve lost so much of Blake’s original personality right around the time the show got more serious about their relationship. As a presumed queer couple, there’s an instinctual desire to figure out which is the “guy” and which is the “girl” in the relationship, with Yang being positioned as the former the more Blake changes to fit the latter. 

[stormra]

For Osomatsu-san: How would the brothers treat their S/O, who’s a popular musician but has to travel around all the time (tours, concerts, etc)? Would they come with their S/O? Or stay and support them from afar because they don’t want to get in their way?

❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐒/𝐎

— type : headcanons

— characters : the matsuno brothers

     

𝙊𝙎𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐  : 

❧     While he’d support you and love you unconditionally regardless of what you want from him, he’d definitely want to leech off of your successes. You can expect him to instantly say yes upon being asked to travel with you. Staying home wouldn’t even be a consideration for an array of arguably stupid reasons that read as follows:

❧     “It’s no big deal! What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, baby~”

❧     However, if you’re into being a less-official version of a sugar Mommy/Daddy/Parent, you might not care about him tagging along and using you for your money/fame. At least he loves you? Just look at it that way! Osomatsu isn’t all that bad.

❧     Sure, he’s greedy, but he’s not extremely selfish. He’d recognize that you have feelings that deserve to be acknowledged. Besides, we all know he doesn’t think very highly of himself in the first place. 

❧     He’d love to listen to you play/sing for him and would often go out of his way to watch you perform. While he might not know much about music, he’d value your dedication, as he has exactly 0 ounces of that mystical concept. Knowing that the people he loves are successful is euphoric.

❧     If you show him off to the public or so much as walk around with him in public, expect him to die. He wouldn’t be focused on suddenly gaining fame and popularity like some others would. Instead, he’d be stuck on the fact that you, a popular musician, chose to show the world that you belong to him and that he belongs to you... just a lowly NEET dating someone exponentially more successful. Something about that would warm his heart and make him feel valued for once.

❧     Did someone say he’d finally accept his identity? He’s constantly having internal crises. Your presence would only solidify his existence.

❧     While he wouldn’t be much of a comforting boyfriend, he’d pose as a great distraction. The celebrity life can get rather tiresome; Osomatsu would recognize this without a problem. Instead of coddling or comforting you, he’d use his childish nature to distract you from the stresses of the music industry, influencing you to take breaks and lazy days with him.

❧     He’d constantly ask to be in any sort of photo shoots you may have. He just wants to pose in funny positions with you! 

𝙆𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     While Karamatsu wouldn’t exactly want to stay home in order to keep himself from making things harder for you, he’d do so if you asked or made it clear that you’d prefer such an option. If you’d expect him to ask, no. He’s far too polite to do that. 

❧     It’s important to note that he considers himself to be a bit of a musician as well. Therefore, he’d be even more compelled to go with you, but, again, he’d never ask. You’d have to ask him and express a trillion times that you actually want him to tag along. 

❧     This might sound like a stretch, but that grandiose act he loves so much? It would disappear rapidly with the knowledge that so many people could learn of his existence just by dating you. Without even being the celebrity in the relationship, he’d crack under pressure, reverting back into the timid, people-pleasing man he truly is. Get ready to have some fun teasing him and/or helping him establish true confidence. 

❧     Expect a lot of praise to fall from his lips. He would admire your successes without being overbearing. In fact, you’d inspire him. A lot. You can also expect a lot of his own songs to center around your success and beauty.

❧     Honestly? Give him musical advice! He’d accept it wholeheartedly; especially if it comes from someone like you. Your career would influence him to grow and learn from his mistakes in the field. You might have a model singer as a boyfriend before the end of the tour! While giving him critique, be sure to praise him just as much. He loves you endlessly, but lots of critique with little praise will leave him feeling a bit insecure. However, I’m sure you know this, as this aspect of his character is far from unnoticeable. Be gentle with him. He deserves it!

❧     If you imagine playing/singing duets with him, you’re on the right track. He’d love to sing for you and hear you sing with him in return. The same can be said for any instrument you may happen to play. He’d eat it right up! You’re his everything, after all.

❧     Will wear your merch—especially merch with your face on it. Please wear his tank top with his face out of respect.

𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧      Although some would assume he’d want to stay home for your sake, as he calls himself the most “responsible” brother, I know it wouldn’t be anything like that. Have you seen the way he acts around Nyaa-chan? This guy would ask you daily, disguising his motives with innocent claims. He’s a tricky bastard who should never be underestimated.

❧     “I only want to make sure everything goes smoothly for you!”

❧     “Don’t you need an assistant? Emotional support?”

❧     “If you don’t want me to come, I understand, but I think this could be a learning experience for the both of us!”

❧     While he would be more than willing to be your crutch and sense of normalcy, for he isn’t heartless, we all know he has a weird thing for idols and that would primarily spawn his desire to travel on tour with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re nothing like the idol he praises. You’re close enough and that’s undeniably attractive to him. 

❧     The fact that he’s even dating a musician is enough to scare him. Can you imagine how he’d act traveling with one? Pushy and controlling, you’d hardly catch a break, as he’d be riding your ass to get things done and to take care of yourself. If you like that sort of thing, good for you. If you don’t, then you’d need to talk to him about it. Although executed with good intentions, his overbearingness can be... well, overbearing. 

❧     Please keep him humble. As we know his ego is the size of the sun, he’d willingly or unwillingly use your existence as his partner to set himself apart from his brothers. Again, we know he already thinks very highly of himself, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he started using your relationship as a boost to get ahead of his “worthless” siblings. 

❧     “I’m dating a musician and you five can’t even get jobs!” 

❧     However, he’d never you to show him off to the public.

❧     On a more wholesome note, as I feel bad for giving him mostly negative headcanons, his doting-ness would be welcomed as well as detested. On your bad days, he’d be there to comfort you and offer objective solutions. Albeit uncharismatic, he’s rather skilled at speaking and getting his words across when they need to be conveyed properly.

❧     He buys all of your merch and wears the shirts everywhere. Really. 

𝙄𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     It would take a lot of convincing on your behalf if you desperately want this man to travel with you.

❧     The threat of exposing himself to the public is a deep-rooted fear that keeps him from doing simple things within his mundane life—so one can only imagine the stress that would sit on his shoulders in an environment such as the celebrity one. He’d constantly find himself within ruts and deep pits, trying to stay out of the spotlight. 

❧     In that case, he’d be staying home. Let him stay home. However, the problems wouldn’t end there, so you best be on your toes.

❧     Jealousy can overrun the best of us. Ichimatsu couldn’t stomach the idea of going with you in the first place, but that wouldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts telling him that you’d end up leaving him for another musician who is leagues more talented and better looking. This obviously wouldn’t be your fault; he’s always been disgustingly insecure. A lot of communication would need to be reached: such as phone calls and texts. Although he wouldn’t be clingy, he’d need some frequent reassurance that you, in fact, love him. Praise him for being so sweet for you. Call him handsome as you FaceTime. Hell, write a short song for him. 

❧     On another note, you as a musician would literally be his northern star. As a man so shrouded in negativity, seeing you, a person who can communicate feelings through fingers or a voice, shining like the sun whilst on a stage surrounded by thousands, would leave his soul feeling all light and fuzzy. The mere thought that his partner is someone so ethereal would bring him some form of internal peace.

❧     He’d listen to your music every night. It’s how he’d fall asleep. 

❧     Surprisingly, he’d be the best at comforting you and helping you stay grounded. He knows what it feels like to feel hopeless. 

❧     Sing him to sleep over the phone! If you play an instrument, play for him! Oddly enough, he’d have one of the most prominent adorations for your musical skill out of his brothers. Something about it just warms his heart. You’d impress him to no end and inspire him to try and do something with his life. 

❧     He’d name one of his cats after a song of yours! 

𝙅𝙔𝙐𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Undoubtedly, he’d be the most eager to travel out of his brothers. He’d ask you daily, jumping up and down like a hyper puppy. He’d hardly have a reason as to why he’d like to go, but something about it would forever and always appeal to him for some unspoken reason. He might just crave adventure and some excitement. 

❧     Are we really surprised?

❧     Identical to a dog, he’d beg. He’d ask with various bone-crushing hugs and weird stares that are hard to deny. He’s not exactly the brightest, but he’s cute and knows it. No, he’s not manipulative, but if he wants to go, he’ll sure try his best to convince you to take him with you. 

❧     He compares you to Karamatsu a lot. In good ways, of course. 

❧     Upon letting him travel with you, he’d be one of the best distractions on a bad day. Of course you can’t silence discomfort by just “being happy”, but Jyushimatsu sure likes to make you laugh even on your darkest days. He’d be a great listener that lets you spill all of your darkest worries as an artist. He wouldn’t give the best advice, but his presence would be an award in it of itself. Like Osomatsu, his childish nature is a breath of fresh air. He’d also be remarkably skilled at reading how you feel. 

❧     Undoubtedly the loudest supporter at your performances. Will go out of his way to make sure his voice is the one you hear screaming over a sea of thousands. Also, I can’t promise he won’t tackle-hug you after performances, let that be offstage or onstage. Be ready! 

❧     He’d love wearing your merch—specifically oversized t-shirts with your face on them! Much like Karamatsu, he thinks that’s all sorts of romantic and cute. He could care less about being viewed as weird. 

❧     There’s no way you can keep Jyushimatsu out of the public eye. He loves you and he loves having fun! The poor guy would probably have a hard time understanding why he shouldn’t tackle you in front of your fans. Your best bet is to establish some boundaries and come to a conclusion that works best. If I’m being honest, he’d be a harmless public partner. He’s just all smiles and laughter... mostly. (:

𝙏𝙊𝘿𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Ultimately, this little bastard is hard to read. He can either be the sweetest man to ever grace the Earth or the most devilish and selfish.

❧     He’d tell you he doesn’t need to go on tour with you, but the answer he’s looking for is a yes. He enjoys playing “hard to get” and wants to come off as responsible and kind. Much like Choromatsu, he knows how to play his social cards and will do what he can to seem like a perfectly indecisive partner who is “totally okay with whatever you want.” That’s a lie. If you wouldn’t allow him to travel with you, he’d try to give you reasons as to why you should let him go. He’s complicated and I won’t sugarcoat that. You’ll find that I try to be realistic with these heavily romanticized NEETs. 

❧     Regardless, if and when he goes on tour with you, except to have yet another mini assistant. He’d always try to offer fashion tips and elements of which you should include in your songs to appeal to the public. Although a NEET, he’d have a strong idea of what the fans are looking for and what you could do to be more appealing. However, he’d understand if you’d like to keep up with your own thing and stray from conforming. He’d be fine with whatever you want, but that wouldn’t stop his opinions and tips. Maybe he should become a musician. 

❧     He’d get fussy over not having enough of your attention. His degree of fussiness wouldn’t become overbearing, but it’s always important to acknowledge the feelings of your partners to reach a conclusion. Remind him that you love him and he’ll eventually come around. 

❧     Easily the best advice-giver. Can both solve your problems or be the shoulder you cry on. He’d be fantastic at helping you through the trials and tribulations that come from being a musician. While he might seem apathetic, he really isn’t and understands just how pressuring expectations can be. This star of hope has seen some things.

❧     Although it may seem easy to assume he’d only be there for the fame, that wouldn’t be his only motivator. He’d truly want to see his beloved grow beyond others. His confidence will skyrocket whilst on tour with you.

❧     He’d design most of your merch: very minimalist designs that fit in with almost all aesthetics. When all is said and done, he’d wear the clothes with pride. What a dork.

❧     Likes to post pictures of you with him on his social medias. 

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[ejzah]

Can u a story about an alternate version of Densi’s wedding where Kirkin’s actual goal all along was to kidnap the groom aka DEEKS. XD

A/N: I know I have others stories waiting, but this one spoke to me. The events of the episode are a little altered to fit the prompt and I’ve excluded the guys that came after Kirkin.

***

“I cannot believe Kirkin actually tried to kidnap me on my wedding day,” Deeks said, shaking his head. He rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. As if he needed the additional stress.

Callen patted him on the shoulder, consolingly and with surprising sincerity.

“Well, hopefully he got the message,” he said. On the other side of him, Sam shook his head, looking equally amused and annoyed.

“Only you would have a Russian criminal who’s obsessed with you and won’t take no for an answer.” Deeks glared at him.

“I’m glad you find this funny, Sam.”

“Hey, you woke me up in the middle of the night after you broke into my boat. You’re lucky I’m in such a good mood,” Sam said, looking pointedly at Deeks.

“Point taken.” Deeks sighed and scratched at his head, already feeling exhausted. This day was already 20 times more stressful than he’d been expecting. “Well, I’m gonna go to the mission and see if I can find my box.”

“Good luck,” Callen offered, clapping him on the shoulder again. “We’ll meet you at the venue.” As they headed to their cars, Deeks prayed that the excitement was over for the day. He didn’t think his nerves could take anymore.

***

Deeks stared at the ring and letter Kensi had given him, completely overwhelmed. Kensi was somewhere in the building, presumably getting ready with her bridesmaids, and it was taking all his effort not to find her and say to hell with tradition.

He glanced down at his watch and swore under his breath. The guests would be arriving soon and he hadn’t even started to get changed. He grabbed the garment bag with his suit and stripped off his jacket and shirt. There was a slight noise behind him, followed by a horribly familiar voice.

“I see I’ve come at the perfect time.” Deeks yelped and spun around, automatically reaching for his gun, which he belatedly remembered he’d left at work, and covering half his chest with the other.

“Kirkin, jesus, how the hell did you get in here?” he hissed. “And-and more importantly, what are you doing here? Again.” Kirkin just stared for a moment, glancing at his bare chest with a small smirk.

“Maaarty, you must know I will always come for you,” he answered with disturbing sincerity. He sighed deeply, eyes straying back to Deeks chest. “It has been too long since we’ve been together like this.” Deeks took a step back.

“Ok, first of all, that is probably one of the most creepy things you have ever said, which is saying something,” Deeks said, ticking off points on his finger. Callen and Sam would never let him live this down. “Secondly, I specifically told you that I did not need, or want, you to rescue me or whatever the hell you think you’re doing right now. And let me reiterate, this is super creepy.”

Kirkin’s expression turned to one of sympathy, which was even more disconcerting. If that was possible.

“I know, Martin. But it occurred to me that the two of us have never been given a fair chance. Ever since that day we met, there has been something undeniable between us, but we’ve never been given the opportunity to fully explore it.”

“If you’re referring to your complete insanity, then yes, that it definitely between us.” Kirkin tilted his head, reaching out to touch Deeks’ arm with the top of his finger.

“You have always had such a wonderful sense of humor,” he gushed. Deeks rolled his eyes and reached into the pocket of his jeans.

“M’kay, I’m texting my team. You better hope Kensi doesn’t get in on this, because she will pulverize you. And then there’s her five bridesmaids and mom, who have been looking forward to this day for years,” Deeks said, typing as he spoke. Kirkin cleared his throat, slipping his hand beneath his suit jacket to pull out a gun.

“I wouldn’t do that Martin. You are coming with me. Now.”

***

“Hey, have you seen Deeks?” Callen asked, as Nell passed him in the hall, likely on the way to start directing guests.

“Um, no, why?” She turned around, clearly sensing that something else was going on.

“We were supposed to run through his vows with him 20 minutes ago, but he never showed. And now we can’t find him.” Nell’s brows furrowed and she grabbed her phone.

“We’ve already tried calling him,” Sam said. “He didn’t pick up.”

“That’s not a good sign,” she murmured. “But I was actually going to check the security cameras. I can tap into a few and see where he’s been.” She tapped at her phone a bit more, staring at the screen and then after a few minutes, frowned again. “What is Kirkin doing here?”

Sam and Callen immediately crowded on either side of her, watching over her shoulder.

“Oh, that is not good,” Callen muttered, glancing at Sam.

“Ok, you guys need to tell me what’s going on. Like right now,” Nell said, lowering the phone for a moment.

“Kirkin showed up earlier today and tried to “rescue” Deeks,” Sam explained.

“You’re joking.”

“I wish was.” Nell sighed and resumed watching the surveillance feed.

“Well, let’s see where he went. He better not mess this up for Kensi and Deeks or I will kill him. I do not have the patience to wait around while they plan a second wedding,” she said and Callen smirked at Sam over her head.

“Hm, it looks like he went into Deeks’ dressing room. That’s a little creepy.”

“Uh guys,” Eric interrupted, appearing in the hallway with a harried expression. “What’s going on? Guests are starting to arrive, the bridal party is almost ready and they’re wondering where everyone else is at.”

“We think Anatoli Kirkin might have kidnapped Deeks,” Sam explained shortly.

“Are you serious? Why aren’t we doing anything about it?”

“Because you’re still talking.” Sam gestured to Nell’s phone. “Did they come out?”

“Yes...and Kirkin took him, by gun point, to what looks like a lounge at the other end of the building,” Nell said. “So far they’re still in there unless they left through one of the windows.

“Ok, we’ll go retrieve Deeks. And you guys are in charge of making sure that Kensi doesn’t find out anything about this. Got it?” Callen instructed. They both nodded and scurried off.

“C’mon partner, let’s save Deeks from his crazy Russian boyfriend.”

***

“So what exactly is your plan, Kirkin?” Deeks asked, the skepticism clear in his voice. After Kirkin had pulled the gun on him, he’d lead him to a small room, ensuring Deeks’ compliance with the threat of violence if necessary. Part of Deeks thought he was probably bluffing, but he also didn’t want to underestimate him.

“I have my men waiting outside. When the time is right, we will make our escape,” Kirkin replied, clearly pleased with himself.

“Yeah, that’s not going to work. You know that, right? Even if you make it out the door, my team will take you down. There’s no way they haven’t missed me by now.” Kirkin patted him on the shoulder consolingly.

He hadn’t let Deeks put his shirt back on and he was feeling distinctly exposed and...nipply. He retreated to other side of the room and sat down in a small love seat. He’d known something would go wrong and boy had he been right. He felt a grim sense of satisfaction that his intuition had been so on point.

“Don’t worry, Marty, my men will protect us. And then we will be free to be together.”

The door to the room burst open, smacking off the wall as Callen and Sam appeared in the doorway. They were both armed and dressed in their tuxes.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Sam said darkly. Kirkin reached for Deeks again and Sam moved in on him, pointing his gun directly at his head. “Don’t even think about it.”

Kirkin wisely took a few steps back and dropped his weapon on the ground. Sam kicked it away.

“You ok, Deeks?” Callen asked, frowning as he took in Deeks’ bare chest.

“Well, I was almost kidnapped on my wedding day, we have about 300 guests waiting for me and Kensi to get married and I think I’m on the verge of a panic attack,” he summed up and then blew out a long breath. “No, I’m not doing great.”

“Put your hands behind your back, Kirkin,” Sam ordered.

“Gentleman, I’m sure we can all overlook this small understanding and just go about our business,” Kirkin said in what was apparently supposed to be a charming tone. Sam just shook his head and gestured for Callen to cuff him.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Sam asked Deeks eventually.

“Don’t ask,” Deeks told him firmly. Kirkin shot him an appealing look and then sighed.

“I will never forget the first time we met, frolicking naked together,” he said reminiscently. Deeks frowned, wondering what fantasy world the man was living in.

“Ok, that’s not what happened. I was undercover at a Russian bathhouse and I’m sorry to break your heart there, Kirkin, but I was not frolicking because I don’t frolick. I have never frolicked,” he clarified firmly.

“You are a frolicker and you know it,” Kirkin said in what Deeks assumed was supposed to be a seductive tone, leaning towards him.

“This is the worst wedding ever,” Deeks retorted, sitting down again and crossing his arms.

“Guys, what the hell is going on? The ceremony is supposed to start in five minutes,” Kensi said, running through the door, closely followed by a harried looking Eric and Nell. It took her approximately 10 seconds to notice Kirkin. “What the are you doing here?”

“You had one job,” Sam said to Nell and Eric. Nell shrugged, gesturing to Kensi.

“What can I say, she threatened to hurt us if we didn’t tell her where you were,” she explained. Somehow Deeks didn’t think Nell had put up that much of a fight.

Kensi glanced at Deeks and then back at Kirkin, who raised his hands defensively as she descended on him. Dressed in her wedding dress, and with a look of pure fury on her face, she had never looked more beautiful to Deeks. Even though she was unarmed, she was frightening.

“Kensi, you look lovely,” Kirkin tried.

“Kirkin, did you try to kidnap my fiancé?” she asked in a dangerous voice. He took another step backwards.

“Please, you must understand, Kensi. You know how irresistible Martin is. His hair, his muscles. I could not help myself.” Kensi made an incredulous sound and shook her head and shoved Kirkin into a chair.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered. That seemed to be the general consensus.

Callen had moved over to the side and was on his phone. From the sound of it, he was calling in reinforcements. Apparently he and Sam had taken out a Kirkin’s cronies before making their grand entrance.

Kensi sat down next to Deeks and ran her fingers through his hair, looking concerned.

“Are you ok, baby?” she asked, checking him over. He laid a hand over hers, holding it in place and nodded.

“Yeah. I may be about to have a nervous break down, or possibly a stroke, but otherwise, I’m fine.”

“I love you,” she whispered, leaning her head against his. He sighed, leaning into her touch. “Let’s get married.” He grinned at that, feeling content for the first time in hours.

“Let’s get married,” he agreed.

“You should probably put some more clothes on,” Callen suggested with just a hint of a smirk.

“I’ll go help him change,” Eric offered. Kensi linked their fingers as she tugged him up. As they left the room, Kirkin reached towards Kensi with a desperate expression.

“Kensi, don’t hurt him,” he begged. “You know, we could always work something out between the three of us!” Sam jerked him back, not being particularly gentle.

“I’m gonna need a lot of champagne,” Deeks sighed as they left the room, Kirkin being led by Nell and Callen, while Sam brought up the rear.

“Or vodka.” Kensi added.

***

A/N: As creepy as he is, I have so much fun writing Kirkin. Sadly, Hetty didn’t quite fit into this one with the changes to the plot. Some dialogue is pulled directly from “Till Death Do Us Part”.

Thanks for the prompt!

[jemej3m]

Yoooooooooo I love romcoms like no other bitch jem, what’re ur thoughts on Isn’t it Romantic? AU with andriel 🙀

no,,,,,,,,,,,,this is a terrible idea,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

*

Andrew knows this isn’t real. 

Why? Because Neil just flirted with him, and Neil does not flirt with him. Neil barely knows how to function as a member of society, let alone understand romantic relationships, or be able to prompt one. 

Nevertheless: Andrew had walked into work, and Neil had leaned into his cubicle with a dozy smile, before complimenting his slacks, winking, and walking away. 

Another strong contender for this being a distorted version of reality: Kevin now hated his guts. His assistant - the gooey-eyed, exy-obsessive, tall-ass freak was now waltzing around with Jeremy on one arm and Jean on the other, his once-employers, berating the shit out of people and purposefully spilling his coffee on Andrew before asking for him to get a new one.

Then he was in the bathroom, ringing out his coffee-stained shirt when his cousin, Nicky, who worked in marketing, waltzed in whilst flamboyantly spreading his arms and proclaiming “Shopping trip! Let’s go!” And whilst Nicky did sometimes act like that stereotypical hyper-feminine gay guy, he wasn’t this one-dimensional. 

After work had finished - or, rather, after Andrew had been whisked away, forced on a shopping spree, and then sent back to work with an hour to spare only to have Kevin demote him - he stumbled out of the building, ready to catch a bus home, just as a car came careening around the corner and almost catching Andrew’s hip. He stumbled, almost dropping all his shit to the ground, just as the person driving the car got out. He put his hands on Andrew’s shoulders to steady him. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He shoved the man’s hands away, repulsed.

“I can’t believe I almost just killed the hottest guy I’ve ever seen,” The man said, in a terribly breathless voice. Andrew looked up, seeing six-feet on tanned skin and expensive silk suit stretched across his shoulders. He was no Neil, but he was certainly easy on the damned eyes. “I’m Roland. Who are you?”

“Uh…” 

“Doesn’t matter! Go on a date with me.” He tucked a business card into Andrew’s pocket, before blowing a kiss and sliding back into his priceless ride. Andrew was left, stunned, on the street corner.  

Then he realised. 

Best friend at work turned enemy? Overly-gay supporting character? Strange, handsome man almost killing him and then asking him on a date? Long-standing work-crush suddenly showing obvious interest?

Andrew was in a rom-com. 

Shit. 

*

“Neil,” He snapped his fingers in front of Neil’s face. “Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil. Earth to Neil?”

“Hm?” Neil looked up at him with those dreamy eyes, before smiling. “Oh, ‘Drew. Are you alright?”

“No.” Andrew snapped, fishing into his pocket for a cigarette. “Smoke break?”

“Sure.” He stood up from his desk and walked just ahead of Andrew, letting him appreciate how well-dressed he’d been as of late. Must have been Allison. 

Not real, Andrew reminded himself. Neil had worn ratty jeans to work before (and gotten away with it because everyone loves him): His sense of fashion was beyond deplorable at best. This wasn’t real. None of this was real. 

Andrew blinked: He’d just wanted to go out in front of their building to smoke, but suddenly, they were walking through a lush green park, where men and women laughed as they rode pastel bikes, whilst families picnicked on the little grassy knolls. Andrew was losing his damn mind. 

“So,” Neil said, around his cigarette, smiling effortlessly. Another lie. Neil didn’t smile, albeit in a rare flash when Andrew said something particularly crude under his breath at work parties. Now he was grinning like a mad idiot, his scars much paler against his skin than they should be. 

It made Andrew irrationally mad. Neil was gorgeous with his scars, but this dystopian hell-space had to wash him out and make him more appealing to a wider audience, like this was a real rom-com people were watching. Fucking gross. 

“Roland, hm?”

“What?” Andrew echoed, blinking. “Who?”

“He almost hit you with his car, yesterday. He’s Kevin’s newest client for a new hotel on the south-side. Asked after your work because it’s the best. He also said he asked you out on a date but you hadn’t called him yet. What’s the hold-up?”

“No - I - well - what?”

Neil looked at the ground with an obviously disappointed pout. “I’m sure you’ll have a marvellous time with him.”

“No, Neil, I -” Not real, not real, not real. He eyed an escape in the form of a small flower stall that’d mysteriously popped up as they walked. This was ridiculous. Absurd. “I’ll be back. I just gotta go to the bathroom.” 

“Okay,” Neil said, smiling again. “I’ll be right here.”

Andrew bought a rose, because that’s all the flower-vendor seemed to be selling, and turned around to return to Neil. If this was all gonna end when he woke up, he might as well make the most of it, shouldn’t he? 

Walking back over to where he’d left Neil standing, he watched in dismay as a woman he’d never seen before leaned over and planted a kiss on Neil’s cheek. He gave her those doe-eyes that he’d been giving Andrew all day, holding her hands. She really was stunning, in a tight skirt and a floral shirt, with hair that was perfectly curled.

The rose fell from Andrew’s hand. What the fuck?

“Andrew!” Neil called out, waving enthusiastically. “Marissa just accidently almost hit me with her bike. Isn’t she gorgeous?” The girl laughed, leaning into his shoulder. “I’m going to head back to work later, alright? We’re going out on a date!”

“Sure,” Andrew muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets as Neil and Marissa giggled at one another, whispering into each other’s ears. “See you later.” 

*

Roland wouldn’t leave him alone. Neil was waxing poetry about Marissa, wondering if it was too early to propose. Kevin sneered at him at every given moment, and Nicky wouldn’t shut up about being in debt because he bought a Gucci belt that he was dying for and had to have. 

He hit his head against his desk over and over and over, just wishing it’d end. For the love of God, just fucking let this torture end.

“Andrew, what are you doing?” Roland’s nerve-grating voice called. “You’re so silly. I love that about you. Should we grab lunch and talk about this project?” He batted his eyelashes. “I’d love to get to know more about your ideas.”

Andrew sat up slowly. How did rom-coms end? 

By ending up with the person. 

An idea formed. He looked Roland dead between the eyes and said “Sure. Why not?” 

Roland took him out to a glass-walled restaurant in a penthouse apartment, miles above the ground. Andrew felt sick the entire time and could barely eat: He even resorted to talking about work and plans to avoid looking at the sheer drop to the ground below him. They were up so high. 

“Are you alriight, cutie?” Roland teased. “You don’t look too good.” 

“I wanna get out of here.” Andrew stood, shoving the chair back. “I had a good time.” Not. “Thanks.” 

“My pleasure.” Roland winked. “Let me drop you home.”

Andrew didn’t protest, so long as he was on the ground once more and not dangling in the clouds. When he clambered into Roland’s car he let himself breath, unclenching his fists. 

Neil knew he was scared of heights. Neil would have never taken him to a restaurant like that. 

“Buckle up!” Roland insisted in his regrettably sing-song like voice, revving the car’s engine. 

Andrew did not buckle-up, embracing the risk. Roland tried to hold his hand over the gearstick and he almost pulled a knife on the man, before remembering he was a client and Kevin would never let him live it down. 

The last thing he remembered was wishing he could have given Neil a chance whilst he still had one, before another car came careening towards them with the lights glazing, head nose-first into Andrew’s side of the car - 

*

“Andrew?” A distant voice called. “You’re moving your fingers. Can you hear me at all?”

His eyes peeled open: They felt glue-lined, crusted over with time. The face hovering near him looked relieved, settling back into the chair and reaching for a cup of water. The glass was held to Andrew’s lips who took a few hesitant sips, making sure it didn’t spill. 

Andrew’s head throbbed. 

“You were out cold for a few days. Your family will be back soon, but right now, it’s just me.” 

Andrew focussed his eyes. Neil sat in front of him, not smiling, wearing an old t-shirt and jeans. His hair was a mess, and he looked like he hadn’t slept. 

“Neil,” He muttered, waving heavy arms around. “What happened?”

“You were driving home from work.” Neil explained. “Kevin got the call from your brother who’d been working a shift when they wheeled you in, who told Nicky and I. We came here as soon as we could.”

“Kevin?”

“Yes, your assistant? Dark-haired giant, acts like a pathetic teddy-bear? He was crying a little when you came out of surgery.” Neil snorted, a hint of his tiny smile at the corner of his lips. “How are you feeling?”

He was back in reality. Thank fuck. “Fantastic.”

“Morphine does that to you.” 

“Come here.”

“What?” 

Andrew could still remember sitting next to Roland as they drove, wishing he’d just fucking taken the chance whilst Neil was available. Now he had the chance again. “I said come here.”

Neil shuffled closer, mildly confused. 

“I want to kiss you.”

“Seriously?” Neil remarked, baffled. “Since when?”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Since forever ago. You’re an oblivious idiot.”

Neil shrugged. “Can’t discredit you on that one.” He looked nervously down at his own hands, fingers wound together and knuckles white. “Maybe when you’re not stuck in a hospital bed. I’m not really sure. I would like to figure it out with you.” 

“Yes or no,” Andrew admonished. “I’m concussed. Don’t make this any harder than it already is, junkie.” 

Neil’s tiny smile, the one Andrew had fallen for in the first place, came out. “Okay.” 

Andrew closed his eyes, hoping this was his reality. Neil’s fingers gently wove together with his own and squeezed. Andrew’s heart fluttered: He was pretty sure he couldn’t imagine that.  

And then they lived happily ever after.

*

what a ridiculous and fluffy au. i’ll have to compensate for that in my next fic ;DDDD 

[exosmuttytalk]

Exo’s DO MV hairstyle rating: a comprehensive list

What is Love, 2012. 

Probably the longuest DO’s hair ever been. Surprisingly, I don’t mind it. For some reason, the demarcation between the super long and super short hairs isn’t that stark. I like that. It looks super dated, tho. 

Final rating: 5/10 KS

History, 2012. 

A different version of the previous hairstyle but leaving the waves aside. I like it because it seems more achievable in his (probably) pin straight hair. Looks soft and fluffy :D

Final rating: 6/10 KS

Mama, 2012

Eh, no. He looks like a fluffy rhyno. What are those spikes on the sideburns? I bet all that fringe hair without gel to hold it flings straight into his eyes. 

Final rating: 2/10 KS

Wolf, 2013

Let’s agree that everybody looked horrendous in Wolf. Like ma boy here who could be strutting the best catwalks in Syberia but the moment he stopped walking he’d freeze to death because he’s not wearing a coat. He looks like a fluffy mushroom and I wouldn’t eat one of those.

Final rating: 0/10 KS (Shame)

Growl, 2013

This must have been the “wildest” color KS’s ever wore, right? I don’t really know about this one. I can appreciate the attempt to change the color, as it’s very obvious he’s not one to experiment much with that sort of stuff. So A for effort. Now, that fringe is all messed up. When his hair falls down naturally without being gelled up he probably has strands sticking out in different directions and all different lengths. 

Also, the more I stare at this picture, the more I can sense Uncanny Valley creeping from my toes up and I don’t like that. 

Final rating: 3/10 KS

Miracles in December, 2013

Here KS has what in my language is called a bowl cut. I don’t even know if that’s the term in English and I don’t really feel like looking it up. 

Either way, from what I’ve seen in the Korean media I’ve had access to is that this hairstyle seems to be super common among teens and young adults. That surprised me because where I am it’s a hairstyle reserved to little kids. 

I understand the appeal, tho. He looks soft and cuddly despite having been ghosted. He’s not menacing (because you can’t see his brows). Makes you want to give him hot cocoa and bundle him up inside a big, soft, fluffy white blanket.

Final Rating: 8/10 KS

Overdose, 2014

So baaaad... I mean so gooooooooood. 

I really like this one. It’s longer, but it’s longer in an unniform manner. Also, this looks like he’s woken up in the morning with each strand of hair in a different possition. He’s then washed his face and making sure he’s wetting his hair as well. He’s us’ed a comb to make a very precise parting but then hasn’t combed through the rest of the hair, so now that’s getting dry, all the strands are starting to stick up again. 

That’s very relatable.

Final rating: 8/10 KS

Call me Baby, 2015

This is one of KS’s best looks and I will die on this hill. 

It’s rather short. Blunt. Structured. Has a little flair but the flair is not too long that it sticks into his eyes. The color is natural and dark but has subtle golden and redish highlights. Looks very effortless. NOICE.

Also, filled in, strong eyebrows.

Final rating: 9.5/10 KS (Because there’s always room for improvement)

Love me Right, 2015

Ohh, yes. This is the second main contender to the first position, Again, to me this looks effortless, which is exactly the type of lifestyle I can see KS having. Chill, easy, no fuss, manageable. I woke up like this and I think I last brushed my hair two days ago. A natural man.

I love the styling too.

Bonus Chanyeol happily vibing in the brackground.

Final rating: 9,5/10 KS 

Sing for you, 2015

KS is barely visible in this MV. You know he’s there; you can feel him looming ominously around the borders of every scene. You can hear his voice. But you can’t really see him. The natural darkness of a B&W video shot in a supposed snowstorm grants a shadow for him to disguise himself into. 

That’s the reason why I’ve had to take those screenshots directly on the mv and why we can barely see his hair. But we can imagine. Looks shot and functional. Not so short and functional as it’s military counterpart. Seems like it would be nice to stroke it. It’s not flashy or attention grabbing. Discreet, but with a little room to play, represented as the spikiness of the fringe area. 

Imma give this one a lower rating because I feel there’s another hairstyle that unites all those characteristics and that both KS and I like better.

Final rating: 8/10 KS

Lucky one, 2016

This is just a shorter version of the Sing for you supposed hairstyle. It’s alright. Although it’s a little bit lazy, I feel it fits the aesthetic of the video quite well. Clean and neat. I like how his perplexed expression during the beginning of this mirrors my own façade so well every time I rewatch this MV.

Final rating: 7/10 KS

Monster, 2016

The styling of the hair may be the exact same as in Lucky One, but I don’t really care. My eyes dart directly to the bruise on his cheeks and the scar on his eyebrow. The holes and burns on his clothes. There’s something really special in a rugged man for me. 

Final rating: 8.5/10 KS

Lotto, 2016

This is a problem, because there’s two main stylings of which I hate the first one and really like the second one. In the first one, they obviously wanted him to look like he actually jumps into the cages with the roosters and physically trains them on fight. The second one looks pretty standard, soft and floofy. It’s shiny too and it looks healthy. Also I like the pirate like clothes styling here.

I’m conflicted.

Final rating: 4/10 KS

Dancing King, 2016

He doesn’t have a lot of screen time in this MV. Most of the time, he’s either on rehearsals or performing. He wears a lot of caps. I never really understand the purpose of a cap if you’re not out in the sun (or scaping fans and papparazzi). Seems easy to knock off accidentally, a gust of wind could suddenly come by and snatch it off your head. You are going to make it all sweaty because all that dancing and then you’re gonna have to stick it into the washing machine. Can you put a cap on the washing machine? Does it lose its shape or smth?

I digress. The cap is, despite all the previous reticence, one of the few accessories he seems to wear irl. So Imma going to give him a good rating for realism and for giving us a little more BTS content. 

Final rating: 7/10 KS

Coming over, 2016

It was impossible to find still of the video but he wore the same styling as in this card, We have to set things straight. 2016 was a hell of a year. They released six different MVs, one of them a collaboration and one of them in japanese. There’s just not enough time for drastic hair changes. Hair doesn’t grow that fast. And it’s easier to leave the more lowkey members in a simple style so you have more time for the not that lowkey members. I get it. Imma a bit bored but I get it.

Final rating: 6.5/10 KS

Kokobop, 2017

Yeeeeees, the change we’d all been waiting for. Aaaaand I hate it. I dislike that his hair matches his jacket. I dislike the fact that even his eyebrows look color coordinated. If it wasn’t for the blue shirt, he’d look as if he had been passed through a sepia filter. Not into it.

Final rating: 3.5/10 KS.

Power, 2017

I love this whole look. Almost everybody’s looks, in fact. It seems like it was a very fun video shooting. We hadn’t seen a KS smile since love me right. He looks so young and playful, so boyish. 

There’s not much to say about the hair. It’s all carelessly hidden under a crownless cap? and some other accessories, but we can appreciate he’s gone back to his natural color. Praise the stylist noonas. 

Final rating: 7.5/10

Universe, 2017

Ahhh, my white whale in the shape of a head. You were short and fleeting, but at least there’s a MV and a whole film to remember you. 

I love bald KS. I definitely don’t appreciate Eggsoo, but what’s not to love about a shaved head? Especially, his bald head. He’s extremelly symmetric and looks so uniform all around. It probably feels like a stroking a very dense but soft brush. He’s said himself he like this hairstyle. It’s strong. Durable. Reliable. Pragmatic. Still, soft, aesthetically pleasing. All KS really is. 

I also love the lighting and the clothe styling in this MV, it’s like a honey and caramel wet dream.

Final rating: 9,5/10 KS

Electric Kiss, 2018

There’s not much to say about this either because it’s not easily visible. Looke like he has his sides shaven. The top is definitely longer but not a lot. Unceremoniously passes.

Final rating: 6/10 KS

Tempo, 2018

I think he looks specially good in tempo. Boyish but not too much. Longer hair, which is a change. The worst part is that he doesn’t have a lot of parts and even less screen time. I love how his lipstick matches the background.

Final rating: 7.5/10 KS

Love Shot, 2018

I love this. Men driving are a kink for me. Black hair, yes. Aviator jacket, yes. Strands of hair loosely framing your face, yes. You usual stoic expression, yes.

Final rating: 7.5/10

His final MV pre-enlistment was a success. Let’s hope for more good looks when he returns.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Appeal to Unreason

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

You know, I recently realized that the stories for this AU are not being released in chronological at all. Honestly I’m just filling out this timeline as events occur to me. So here’s a thing that happened fairly early on. Anti’s feelings toward Chase have always been...well. It’s a bit complicated.

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids​ @awkward-bullshit​ @watermelonsinmyattic​ @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske​ @odysseus-is-best-boi​ @acuriousquail @beerecordings @elizabethnordwell

“Hey bud, there’s a guy who’s been staring at you for the last half an hour.”

Chase looked up at the bartender who’d addressed him. It was a little after ten-thirty, early in the night, so he was sure he wasn’t drunk enough to be hallucinating this guy saying something that obviously couldn’t be true. “Are you sure?” he asked doubtfully.

The bartender made a discreet gesture to the corner of the room. “See for yourself. He looks a little like you, he your brother or something?”

Chase turned in his seat, doing his best to make it seem natural. There were tables around the edges of the room in this bar. The one in the corner was dimly lit, naturally, but he could see the outline of a guy with brown hair, wearing a green scarf and a black T-shirt. He couldn’t see his face from here, but he could barely make out something on his eye. Chase had never seen him before, but Jackie had given him a distinct description. There was no mistaking who it was.

“No, he’s not my brother,” Chase said, turning back. “We’ve never even met, but I’ve heard of him.”

The bartender shrugged. “Alright. It’s none of my business. But if there’s gonna be a fight in here, I ask that you take it outside.”

“Yeah, fine,” Chase grumbled. Instinctively, his hand strayed to his hip, where his gun was dangling. It was currently hidden by the hoodie he’d wrapped around his waist, though there was always a chance it would slip out. And he didn’t feel like fighting his way through the police that someone would definitely call. “But I dunno if anything will happen.”

“Well, now he’s standing up and walking over here.”

Chase choked on the sip of whiskey he’d just drank. After a moment of coughing, he turned in his seat again to see his doppelganger walking toward him. He tensed, carefully setting down his glass. Anti stopped only a few feet away from Chase, staring with unblinking eye. The resemblance to the others, Jack especially, was uncanny, but there was still something...off about him. Maybe in the way he stood, or the way he moved. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “Somewhere private.”

“Why?” Chase asked, suspicious.

“Why do I need to talk to you, or why somewhere private?” He rolled his shoulders in something that looked close to a shrug. “Well, I can’t tell you that out here, that would violate the idea of privacy. But I’ll say that it’s about a...friend we both have.”

Chase considered this for one moment before deciding to fuck it all. “Fine,” he grumbled, standing up. “There’s a back area here with bathrooms and private rooms and shit. Follow me, we’ll talk in the hall there.” He didn’t even bother to look behind him, but he knew that he would be following.

The back hall was smaller than he’d remembered it being from the last time he came to this place, but it would do. He turned around and gave Anti a once-over. He didn’t have any of that weird “glitching” that Jackie had described, but then again Jackie had said that Anti looked normal at first, too. “So,” Chase said simply. “Jackie told us you were looking for Jack. And Jack told Marvin that you were in his dreams a few nights ago, and asked him to strengthen the wards. Is that what this is about? You’re mad that we blocked you out from mind-talking to Jack?”

“There are a lot of things I’m mad about,” Anti stated. “But I’m not here to throw a hissy fit. I’m here to...talk.”

“So you keep saying,” Chase muttered. “Look, just cut to the chase.” He realized what he said, and smiled a bit, though it quickly faded away. “I’m not...feeling up to any sort of games right now.”

“Alright, then, fine.” Anti folded his arms. “Here I am, getting to the point. You always seemed like the most...reasonable, out of your little group here. So I’m going to try and convince you to do one simple thing: let Jack go.”

This...was not what he was expecting at all. First, he couldn’t remember ever being called ‘reasonable’ before. And second, there was no way it was something that simple. “That’s it? You just want Jack to...what, leave?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Anti said, a note of exasperation in his voice. “I want him to go back to the way things were, when he was actually happy, and had friends who weren’t criminals.”

“But...he is happy,” Chase said, confused.

“Oh my fucking god, I take back what I said about you being reasonable.” Anti shook his head. “He’s only happy because you made him be that way. I know about that little hypnotist you brought in. He’s good, I couldn’t even make a dent in whatever false memories he’s planted. But guess what? Coerced contentment via magickal mind tricks is not the same thing as being h̨ap̕ṕỳ .”

Okay, clearly this Anti didn’t understand the situation. “Okay, fine, I’ll agree with you on that. But that’s really only there to make sure he doesn’t remember what’s going on in the house. Can you imagine how much he’d flip if he found everything out? You think he’d be okay then?” Chase gave a small smile. “Look, it’s fine. I’m with him. And the two of us are friends. If he gets upset, I’ll be there for him.”

Anti took a step backward, giving Chase a strange look. “You are nǫt̴ his f̨r̸i͞e̶nd,” he hissed.

“Of course I am,” Chase insisted. “We’ve known each other since college—”

“Yes, I know,” Anti interrupted. “And maybe you were friends then, but you’re not anymore. Because guess what? Friends don’t br̵a̵inw̨a̢s̴h́ each other.”

“It’s not—”

“Friends don’t keep one another locked up in the same house day after day. Friends don’t limit how much time the other spends on the Internet and then monitor every search and site visited. Friends don’t do their best to make sure the other can’t remember big parts of their past that makes them who they are.” Anti shook his head. “If you r͝e̡a͞ll̨y wanted what was best for Jack, you would listen to me.”

Chase was stunned for a moment, scrambling to think up a response to that tirade and trying to ignore the lurking darkness in the back of his mind that agreed with everything the glitch was saying. “I...I do want what’s best for him,” he said quietly.

Anti laughed humorously. “You know? I actually believe that. But your version of best doesn’t match up with the rest of society’s.” He took a few steps closer to Chase, causing him to back up. “What are you going to do if he finds out? If the spell breaks? Just put another one on him, possibly damaging his mental state? Hmm? Or are you going to decide that if you can’t have Jack be your friend, you’re gonna make sure no̢b́ody el͏śe̶ can͟? Because I doubt you’re just gonna let him go.”

“I...” Chase can’t come up with an answer for that. The idea of Jack finding out, of Jack leaving, filled him with cold dread. But he really, truly, didn’t want to hurt Jack. He pushed back the part of his mind that reminded him that the hypnotism was a form of hurt already. “I don’t...know.”

Anti nodded, like he wasn’t expecting anything different. “Well, there’s a way you can avoid all that. Tell your fucking hypno-friend to fix all his memories, except the ones pertaining to you and the rest of your little Jack fanclub. Stop convincing him that he needs to stay with you. When he wants to leave, let him. If...when he tries to talk to me again, let him. You’ll still be able to see him, he’ll just have a life outside of you and that channel.”

It was tempting. Really, it was. Chase even opened his mouth to agree, but no words would come out. Because there was the chance—the slimmest chance—that everything could go wrong. That Anti was lying. That Jack wouldn’t really want to keep in contact if he decided to move out. He’d almost lost him before. When Jack moved to a new apartment, they began meeting up less and less. There’d never been any indication that Jack wasn’t going to just up and leave like everyone else had. So, in desperation, he’d approached their newest housemate, Marvin, and practically begged for help. Nobody in the house had gone against Chase’s idea to get Jack to join them. Jackie had put up a fuss, but he’d agreed in the end. And then, they discovered Jack had this—this guardian demon constantly watching over his shoulder. And who looked like he wanted Jack to never see Chase again.

“No,” Chase said, the word lifting a weight of worry from his shoulders. “No, no deal.”

Anti seemed genuinely surprised at the answer, eye widening. “...fine. Fi̵ǹe. Guess I underestimated the depth of your obsession.”

“I’m not—”

“Oh, I bet you know you are. I bet you know how w̛r͠o͏n͝g this whole thing is. But you just don’̧t c͡ar͞e, do you?” Anti sighed. “I’ll see you again, Brody. Maybe one day, you’ll finally give up on this scheme.” And with that, he pulled apart into pixels and vanished, leaving Chase alone.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, staring at the spot where Anti disappeared. He...wasn’t obsessed, was he? He wasn’t like that. He let Jack have friends outside of him, he didn’t have any problem with that. He didn’t force Jack to stay in the house...except it was sort of implied in some of the things he said to him. No. No, he and Jack were friends, they—they needed to be. He needed someone who didn’t stick around because of guilt or obligation, but because he genuinely liked Chase as a person.

Except...Jack was obligated. He made it an obligation the moment he decided to go the mind magic route to make sure he didn’t ever leave him. It’s...it’s not exactly staying with someone willingly if there’s mental tricks in the equation, was there?

Chase finally managed to pull himself out of his daze, and started back toward the main area of the bar. Great. He just reaffirmed what a shitty person he was. He couldn’t even be a friend to the one person who, at least to start out with once upon a time, wanted to be friends with him. God, why couldn’t the ground just break open and sent him to hell? Why couldn’t he have actually gone through with what he told Stacy he was going to do?

When he came back out into the main area, the first thing he noticed was that the spot he had been previously sitting in was taken by a woman now. Tall, pretty well-built. But he didn’t care. He walked straight up to her and said, “Uh, you’re sitting in my seat.”

The woman gave him a once-over, casually swirling her drink. “I don’t see your name on it,” she said.

“Very clever,” Chase snapped. “You’re a real life of the party. But I was sitting there before, and my drink is still there, so it would be nice of you to give me my seat back.”

“Hmm...” The woman took a long sip. “Nah. You can take your drink and sit somewhere else.”

Chase’s temper flared. He didn’t care at this point. “Or, you can take your drink and sit somewhere else.” And with a single motion, he pulled his gun free of the holster where it had been kept and pointed it at the woman.

Everything went silent. Chase was suddenly aware that this had been a busy night at the bar, as his eyes darted back and forth between the woman and the surrounding customers. They were all staring at him now. A few were probably going for their phones. Whatever.

“Whoa, okay, no need to be so-so-so hostile.” She set her drink on the bar and raised her hands, standing up. “See? Look, it’s yours now. I’ll just get out of your way, that’s it.” Her voice had been drained of its bravado, and was trembling without it.

Chase thought. He didn’t think much, but he thought. And what crossed his thoughts was that he really wouldn’t mind if the police showed up and dragged him away. He was already a terrible waste of a human being, might as well go down blazing. He shifted his aim so the barrel of the gun was pointing at the woman’s heart, and he squeezed the trigger.

Bang!

Something yanked his arm out of the way at the last minute, wrenching it sideways. The bullet still hit the woman, but in the arm instead. She screamed, clutching the area of injury, and ran. The crowd parted to allow her to run straight out the door.

“And I was j̧ust ͡fe̴e̷l̸inģ s͢o̷rr̢y ͞fór y̕o͢u̷.” Chase’s head whipped to the side, seeing none other than Anti. The glitching effect Jackie had tried to describe had appeared, shimmering waves of pixels and broken static running throughout his body, though not quite as intense as Jackie had said.

“Feeling sorry for me?” Chase repeated disbelievingly.

“Yes, fèèli̧ng ͏b͡ad̶ that you were so d̀ès̡pe̸rat̢e to keep Jack as your friend that you r͞esor͡ted̴ ̀t͡ò mea͏s̨u̸res ̧like t̨h̸is s͟iţua͏t͟i̢on͡!” Anti growled. “And then you go and s̵h̕oo̷t ̕som͟eo̢ne̵ like you don’t even know how f̷uck̴e̛d̡ ̶u͝p that is!”

“Well, we’re not all shining examples of purity!” Chase screamed. “Some of us are fucked up! Now let go of my arm!”

“Uh, n̷o̴. In fact...” The hand that wasn’t currently holding Chase’s arm in place reached toward his hand and started trying to pry his fingers away from the handgun. “I should probably t́ake t̸hi̕s͢.”

“No! It’s mine!” Chase’s other arm joined the fray as it tried to yank the gun away from Anti’s attempts at stealing the gun.

“Why are you so d͟i͝ff͢i̕cult̴?” Anti shouted, shifting both hands to the gun.

They fought for only a moment, each doing their best to take the gun or hold on to it. A sort of mad, dangerous tug-of war, with the barrel being wrenched about and pointing every which way. A lot of the crowd left, or tried to hide, but a surprising number seemed rooted to their spots on the floor. Chase felt the gun slipping. Anti was strong, why was he so strong? He was a bony, wiry sort of person. In a last desperate attempt, Chase swiveled the gun and pulled the trigger again.

Bang!

Anti’s head flew backward, scarlet blood spraying in an arc and splattering everything behind him. Seemingly in shock, he let go of the gun. His hand went to his face. “Ýóu̷ f̧uck̡ing͡ ba̢s̀t͝ard̢!̢” he screeched, voice breaking and shifting in tone. He wasn’t hurt, just angry. A miracle considering Chase’s wild shot had improbably hit him in the other eye, the one not covered by the patch. Blood was leaking furiously from the socket. Yet, Chase still felt like he was glaring at him.

The crowd began screaming once they realized what had happened. Most sprinted for the doors or ducked under tables, but a few rushed Chase. He didn’t even stop to think, just pulled the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow, not bothering to aim. Most of them just stumbled back, but one man dropped to the ground like a stone.

“Get out of my way!” Chase yelled,pushing through the crowd toward the doors leading outside. They all gave him a wide barrier, and he burst out into the cool night air, gasping. Without hesitation, he took the left and started running down the street.

And Anti materialized in front of him.

Chase screeched to a halt. Anti was still missing the other eye, but that didn’t stop Chase from feeling like he was on the receiving end of the world’s most fatal death-stare. “What is wr͠o̶n̡g̵ with you?!” Anti demanded.

Chase laughed. “Oh, a lot of things. My brain’s fucked, I drive everyone away, I try so hard to keep my friends close that I’ll end up suffocating them in the end, I just shot multiple people and felt fucking awful but I kept doing it anyway, and I’m just in general a massive piece of shit. How’s your day been going?”

Anti tilted his head. There was a burst of pixels around his eye, and suddenly it was back to normal, like it had never been shot at all. He held up his hand, clenched in a fist. “Here, catch.”

Only Chase’s training to catch things for YouTube videos allowed him to stop gaping at the repaired eye and catch the tiny object Anti tossed toward him. He stared at it. A bullet. Bloody and broken, but recognizable.

“Technically, that shot was a through-and-through,” Anti said. “But I’m sure the owner of the bar won’t mind that I just took it.”

“When did you take...?”

“Just now.” Anti shrugged. “Listen, Chase, I’m not going to lie and tell you you’re a good person. Good people don’t shoot strangers that steal their seats. But, at least you know this, and that’s a hell of a lot more than what your friends got. So, I want you to just think about my offer. It’s the best thing I’m gonna give you.”

Chase was already shaking his head. “No, I can’t. I can’t. It’s just—Jack, I...I can’t risk it. I can’t.”

Anti rolled his eye. “If you insist. I’ll still show up later to make sure you haven’t changed your mind, but that may be the last time you’ll get this, so keep that in mind. And meanwhile, I want you to think about something else...” Anti started fading out, becoming a hologram before disappearing entirely, leaving only his words floating in the air. “What will you do when Jack does find out?”

Chase was alone. No surprise there. He stared down at the bullet Anti had given him. He was sorely tempted to throw it away, but just in case...he put it in his jeans pocket, then re-holstered his gun. Guess he wouldn’t be able to go to that bar again. And maybe they’d have to find a way to get the police off his back, they were sure to have been called by now. They had a magic mentalist in the house now, that was sure to help.

After standing there a moment longer, Chase shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking home. This had been an...unusual night. But he wished he’d had more time to get a few drinks in before everything went south.

[noahcdaily]

Noah Centineo, Shameless Heartthrob

My date with the best thirst architect the internet’s ever seen.

Now, I put my hand here,” Noah Centineo instructs as he slides his hand in the back pocket of my jeans. “And then we walk a little, like this.” He leads me around the Coney Island Aquarium like that: hip to hip, smiling at each other, his hand, to reiterate, in the back pocket of my jeans. I’ve just shamelessly asked him to re-create his signature move from Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, an adaptation of Jenny Han’s YA novel, in which he plays Peter Kavinsky, the high-school jock at the center of the film’s romantic plotline. I watched the movie and mentally flagged this scene — where he’s trying to convince a cafeteria full of students he’s dating the protagonist, Lara Jean Covey (Lana Condor) — as the one that made me wonder, Who is that guy? It’s a moment that belongs in a clip reel of classic, chemistry-laden movie moments, and I, a journalist, wondered if it could inspire the same feelings when executed in real life.

Centineo tells me how he totally improvised the move during filming. It was a thing he used to do with his ex-girlfriend. They’d be walking around, like we are now, and he’d realized he could sort of dance her around by the pocket and turn her, “just like this,” and boom, propelled by just a tug on my pocket, I’m suddenly facing him. We’re pelvis to pelvis. He’s smiling, comfortably, and I’m confronted with his hazel eyes, the scent of clean laundry, and pure pheromones. I sort of squeal, I think? Who can say, because I definitely black out for a second.

If I seem thirsty, well, isn’t that the point? At 22, Centineo is the most effective, addictive sort of heartthrob: the kind who absolutely loves being one, the kind who does everything in his power to make us thirst harder than we’ve ever thirsted before — and, yeah, it works. When the movie came out in August, Noah Centineo was immediately, breathlessly given the title of Internet’s Boyfriend. Now, with his second Netflix rom-com, Sierra Burgess Is a Loser, in which he plays yet another lovable, evolved jock, Centineo has graduated to full-on cultural obsession.

In less than a month his Instagram followers went from just under 800,000 to 9.5 million. In the movie, his character drives crosstown to buy his love interest her favorite Korean yogurt drinks — and no joke — Yakult stock has been going up. This man’s floppy hair is actually driving the market. He’s been stalked by fans and now employs an omnipresent security guard named Dave. He’s been the subject of a leaked nude scandal (“I understand why you have to ask that question,” he demurred when I asked him about a certain video that’s been making the rounds. “I just hope you understand why I’m not gonna answer it.”). His Twitter mentions are an anthology of fantasies — some chaste and some really not — written by women of all ages. “Tell them all to hit my line,” he says with a laugh.

We decide to tour the aquarium, where I’m idly waiting for him in the lobby when he walks in shirtless. Shirtless. Without a shirt. Holding his black T-shirt in his hand, instead of wearing it on his torso, which I can see right now. With my eyes. He has a real reason. He’s just been outside, taking pictures on a boardwalk in nearly 100-degree weather. But even with a rational explanation as to why he has no shirt on, the entrance is so on the nose it’s almost ridiculous: a smoking-hot leading man, walking into a room sweaty and half-naked. It’s like there should be a slowed-down frame rate, a treacly indie-pop song playing, a zoom-in of my pupils turning into those hunga hunga hearts. He hands his ticket to the woman at the front desk and apologizes, for some reason, for his bare chest. She makes him put his shirt back on, and greets me with a smile so huge, I can assure you he has zero cavities.

Even offscreen, Centineo, I observe immediately, has that whole thing. It wasn’t just good directing or the right song cued at the right moment that created the effect. He has all the qualities deemed necessary by early-in-life fans of Teen Bop and Devon Sawa at the end of Casper: white sneakers (Vans, of course), an easy charm, and a tendency to play it fast and loose with knowing, meaningful eye contact that says “I see you.” He knows the right way to lean against a wall, how to twirl a specific clump of hair so it slouches over one eye. He’s even got an imperfection you can moon over: this tiny scar on his chin from where his dog tried to rip his face off when he was a kid. When he greets me with a hug, it’s the kind of genuine, intentional, full-body contact that makes me feel like he’d write me a letter every day and build me a house.

“I’ve always played the love interest,” Centineo says. “I’ve trained for it for a while. These roles are just molds I can pour myself into.” He grew up in Miami, with a few years’ interlude in Park City, which he hated because he never felt like he fit in. He started acting as a preteen when he attended a general casting call sort of on a lark, but he enjoyed it so much he eventually dropped out of his Boca Raton high school sophomore year and moved to Los Angeles with his mom to pursue it full-time. Since then Centineo’s been playing graduating levels of “crush”: first on a tween-friendly Disney show Austin & Ally, then on a teen-friendly Freeform show, The Fosters, and now for admiring audiences of all ages on Netflix rom-coms (To All the Boys, Sierra Burgess, and one deep cut for the algorithm-determined real fans, SPF 18.)

“I like this rowboat. Do you want to sit in this rowboat,” he asks, upon discovering a fake rowboat stuck in the corner of an exhibition about ponds. (Fake rowboat, a move.) Ever the leading man, he gets in first to steady the fake boat, and helps me in. Then, he directs yet another adorable moment for us, and starts rocking the boat back and forth, like we’re on a real pond, laughing this huge, full-throated laugh like the only thing he’s ever wanted to do was crouch in a plastic rowboat with me. And even though we both know the answer to the question, I ask, “Why do you think everyone is going nuts over you right now?”

“People love love,” he says, and begins to explain how both of his recent movies “empower” people. “I think these are just great examples of feel-good films, how could you not like something that makes you feel good?”

He stops talking and looks at me, a little concerned. “If you’re still warm, we should move,” he suggests, perhaps noticing the sweat pouring from my forehead and rolling down to my chin. It’s such a hot day, even the AC inside has given up. “I just want you to feel comfortable,” he says thoughtfully, adding, “Don’t worry, I also sweat like a motherfucker.”

It’s now his mission to find the coolest spot in the aquarium. He leads me down some stairs, back up the same stairs once he realizes they lead to a bathroom. We go around all the exhibits, while he looks up at the ceiling, in the corners, searching for an air vent, determined to find the perfect spot to get the full blast. We finally do. “Can you feel it?” he asks, one last time, before he seems satisfied, parked in front of a manmade reef. It’s a specific sort of gallantry I recognize from his roles, the ones he describes as manly and masculine, but also “sensitive, emotionally intelligent, loving, nurturing, and protective.”

“That’s just what a great man is in life and in general,” he shrugs. In his two most well-known parts (both of which occurred in the past month) he plays an updated version of a familiar type of crush. In To All the Boys, a lacrosse player who loves Fight Club but drinks kombucha and falls for the film��s Korean-American protagonist. In the other, Sierra Burgess, a quarterback who thinks the cheerleader is way hot, but instead falls for the brainy girl who catfishes him. In both, he displays a preference for the unexpected love interest. In both, he drives a Jeep Wrangler, the preeminent car of teen crushes. He’s not the mysterious, brooding type à la Robert Pattinson in Twilight, he doesn’t have the cold, intellectual appeal of Timothée Chalamet’s character in Lady Bird. He’s not pure Zac Efron dumb-hot-frat boy or even the misunderstood, sexually experienced bad boy like the ones Adam Driver plays. What Centineo does well — and what nobody has really done with such conviction since Freddie Prinze Jr. — is play a simple, suburban-mall kind of crush with Stanislavski dedication. That’s it. He’s just fully nice and hot at a time that feels like “nice and hot” is a rare resource. He’s a throwback to a more classic sort of wish fulfillment.

In fact, Centineo can see a whole career based around this: being good at love. He imagines all the potential types of roles he can explore: romantic dramas, other types of rom-coms, action romantic comedies, edgier, more toxic and dangerous types of love. “There’s so many degrees to love. I think I have a lot more to offer the space,” he says. He’s got a few projects lined up already, most notably a movie coming out in 2019 called The Stand-In. He plays a post-grad who launches a start-up, which requires him to loan himself out as a fake boyfriend.

“Whoa whoa! That motherfucker just came through so quick! He ran up on us with his boy.”

Centineo jumps back and marvels at some large fish that just came swimming right at his head. He makes a kissy-fish face back at the fish. What a lovely time we’re having. Looking at fish! Then he points to a placard and carefully reads out the description for Slippery Dick, a type of fish native to this particular tank, and chuckles. Then I read one about the French Grunt. I have no idea what’s going on. I point to a particularly fascinating fish, and he leans in to see, angling his head so his hair brushes my hand. Our arms accidentally touch.

“How’d you get so good at flirting,” I’m compelled to ask.

“Am I flirting?” he laughs and leans and looks down at the floor. “I don’t know — I’m fucking so romantic. Like, such a romantic — it’s not even funny. I can’t help it. I swear to God, like, every day, the majority of my day is sentimental. You know, I’m thinking about past relationships I’ve been in, how I miss them so much or what I would do different, or why I wanna be with them again, or just moments I’d like to go back to or I know why I shouldn’t go back, and then you know, it’s just constantly love, love, love.”

He’s a Taurus, ruled by Venus, he offers by way of explanation. “That means a couple things: one, like I need a lot of nurturing, and two, Venus is love, I’m ruled by love.” His favorite movie is Gaspar Noe’s Love, his favorite feeling is being in love (which he has been, twice). I bet if you could cook Love and serve it over pasta, it would be his favorite meal. He lives, breathes, and expels love. His Instagram is a steady stream of soul-baring, puppy-dog-eyed selfies — “I’m pretty vain,” he jokes. His Twitter alternates between sort of yoga studio platitudes and vague flirtations like “Fuck…you’re so cute,” or, more in line with my personal interests, “THE BLACKER THE BERRY.”The messages are to nobody specific, he says — he’s single right now — they could be to somebody he just met, or he met before, or he saw across the room, or just to everybody.

Dating is going to be hard for him from now on, he suspects, even though he really doesn’t want to change how he pursues someone he likes (open-heartedly, passionately, purely) but he’s started worrying about the reasons people want to date him. Is it just because he’s more famous now? Do they just want to date Peter Kavinksy? But are Kavinsky and Centineo really so different?  “I’m definitely not as innocent—” he says, with a gaze, because why say anything if you aren’t going to commit.

Centineo continues to list the differences, both philosophical and material: He’s more apt to jump out of a plane or just sit in nature than his characters. He doesn’t live in the suburbs, he lives in Los Angeles with his older sister and her boyfriend. He likes yoga and martial arts. He parties with friends. He starts every day at 6 a.m. with oatmeal, the recipe for which he begins detail, slowly: “I do Irish steel-cut oats, I do almond butter, coconut butter uh, coconut oil, honey, uh, chopped bananas, and, and, uh, like, hemp granola,” and I’m struck with this familiar feeling of being completely entranced by a man saying absolutely nothing interesting to me, which, oh right, yes, is infatuation.

[bbparker]

Little Red (Thor Odinson x Reader)

A/N: This is just a little short one for a request! I have major Thor feels right now though!

Requested by: @ladydork

I ran into that door on purpose!

Stop being so attractive

Warnings: Just dorky Thor

Pairing: Thor x Reader (ft. Steve, Natasha, Tony, Clint)

Gif credit to @theavengersfans

Clint and Steve were talking in the kitchen about their latest mission when Tony’s loud voice echoed through the room. “Hurry, (y/n)! We don’t have all day!” Tony entered and a shy looking woman entered behind him in giant heels.

Steve crossed his arms and frowned, seeing the uncomfortable look on the woman face. “Tony, who’s this?” Steve asked, smiling lightly when she looked up, causing her to blush.

Tony turned and held out his hand to present her, “this is (y/n), my new personal assistant. Now Peppers running the company, I wanted to hire someone else.”

(Y/n)’s ankle gave out and with a yelp, she hit the floor. “Okay, so the heels aren’t working out for you…”

Steve was by her side instantly, “Tony, tell me you didn’t force her to wear these things for the job!” He turned to look over his shoulder at Tony who was looking everywhere but at him. “We better get you to medical, seems like a sprain.”

Once in medical, Steve was called away. Giving a small smile and a ‘get better’, he left (y/n) alone in the quiet med bay. A sudden thunder of footsteps came from the hall before a thud sounded from the other side of the door. Opening it a long blonde haired man stepped through rubbing his forehead.

He looked up and saw (y/n), instantly moving his hand away from his head and standing straight. “I ran into that door on purpose.” Patting the door as It closed awkwardly, “just testing the uh… the durability of it…” (Y/n) knew him as Thor the god of thunder, avenger and a great warrior. However, she had just witnessed him running into a door and try to lie about it. The giggles started small but a boisterous laughter left (y/n).

Thor’s head shot up and he began to smile and being able to get the beautiful maiden to laugh, even if it was at his expense.

When her laughter died down (y/n) looked back over to Thor. “You’re Thor?” She held her hand out and smiled in a peace offering, “I’m (y/n).” Walking over to her Thor took her smaller hand in his large one. “Yes, that’s me and… I.. lied. I ran into the door. I thought it would open like Tony’s many other doors.” (Y/n) giggled. “I know.”

——

Months later and (y/n) had been doing a great job of being Tony’s P.A (or so she thought anyway.) and Tony had given up on trying to get her to basically dress like Pepper. (Y/n) was now free to dress in her floral dresses and occasionally her jeans and band shirts.

(Y/N) had also made great friends with Thor and she was the one he spent most of his time with while on Earth. During this time he’d also managed to gain her trust and confidence, her shy demeanour almost always dropping around Thor.

Tonight, however, was a special event she planned at Tony’s request. He wanted to hold a small (Large) gathering (party) for the Avengers success in gaining Loki’s sceptre back. Standing above the stairs to enter (y/n) was nervous, her feelings for Thor had exponentially grown in the last month or two. No guy had ever been so kind and fun-loving towards her, given she was really awkward and she warded off guys easy because of it.

Her red dress was fitting and fell to the ground in layers. Her figure being show off and may not be the most amazing body to everyone, but to her, it was her own. She was alive and looked stunning. Taking a breath (y/n) began to descend the stairs. Multiple eyes stopped to look her up and down, the beauty gracing the room shocked most. (Y/n) glanced around the room for Thor, or just any of the Avengers and managed to spot a few but not yet Thor.  

Spotting him, she almost blushed at the sight of his hair tied back and the fitted red suit adorning his figure. Steve was already looking at (y/n) but a tap to Tony’s shoulder had him spitting out his drink at the sight of her. A stumbling Tony, tapped Thor in the shoulder turning him and as he followed his eyeliner, Thor couldn’t help but almost spit out his drink as well. His gaze made (y/n)’s body feel on fire.

Breaking the eye contact as she got to the bottom of the stairs, (y/n) made a beeline for the bar, where a mysterious Natasha Romanoff scanned the crowd. Signalling to the barmen, she turned to Natasha. “Natalia.”  Groaning, Nat laughed. “I wish I never told you the Russian version of my name!” (Y/N) Laughed, “you look good Natalia.” “You don’t look so awful yourself ангельское лицо”

“Nice touch, Russian.” Nat gave her a wink and continued drinking until she spotted Bruce Banner. (Y/n) motioned to Nat to go as she clearly wanted to go to her little lover. Nat quickly whispered, however, “Don’t think I didn’t notice your lingering gaze on a certain Norse God.” (Y/n) gasped in mock horror, “Well I never!” Laughing Nat moved over to Banner, leaving her by herself drinking some weird alcohol.

“Hello honey, care to have a dance with me?” (Y/n) looked around to see if he was talking to her. The man stood tall and proud and a black set of short hair graced his head. “M-me?” (Y/n) didn’t know this man and her shyness was overtaking her. Not only shyness but she was uncomfortable, the way this man was looking at her was like a meal.

“I-i-“ “C’mon,” he had a hand around her waist, bringing her into him, “just one dance…”

His face was too close to her and her level of anxiety rose through the roof that her natural instincts began to play a part. Putting her hands on his chest, (y/n) glided her hands up his chest, his smile growing before she gripped his collar and all but threw him into the bar.

Holding his collar to the point where it was difficult to breathe, (y/n) got right in his face. “Touch me again and I’ll have the Avengers on your ass you fast, you’ll wish you never glanced at this ангельское лицо.” Releasing him she moved to drink the rest of her drink when she realised it was empty. Liquid courage, huh?

“Listen, lady, I don’t know who you think-“ The guy had begun to reach for (y/n) again when a large hand caught it. “I believe the lady said not to touch her.” Thor’s eyebrows scrunched and a smile graced his godly face. Grabbing the man’s throat, (Y/n) couldn’t help but admire as he kept the man at bay with one hand while the other still had his drink within it. Slightly tilting his head like a puppy, he continued while the man struggled.

“What is it about you mortals that you don’t understand no means no?… Also, personal space.” Thor shrugged as an afterthought.  Releasing the man from his grip he scrambled away. Barely anyone was paying attention as it was the Avengers, things like them fighting wasn’t exactly uncommon.

“Are you okay, Lady (y/n)?” She giggled. “Yes, Thor I’m okay. Thought I had him on that one” “Yes, you were a good warrior in that battle.” His language caused her to giggle once again. (Y/n) looked at the dance floor and suddenly an idea popped into her head. “Join me for a dance?”

Thor looked down at (y/n) as she held out her palm, she looked nervous. Thor smiled a toothy smile and put his drink down before gently grabbing her hand. Warmth bread throughout her body as he pulled her lightly onto the dance floor.

Thor pulled her into him and held her close. On Asgard dancing was seen as an important skill, especially for a prince, so Thor had no problem in leading her. (Y/n) put her hands on his chest as he held her on the waist. (Y/n) couldn’t look up, not when he was so close. “(Y/n)…” His hand came up to raise her face, seeing him unclose was something else entirely.

(Y/n) could see all the lines and the individual hairs in his stubble. But his eyes… They were more gorgeous up close. “Could you please stop being so attractive…” (y/n) let slip, instantly blushing. Thor laughed heartily, “I’m glad my physical appearance appeals to you Lady (y/n). But I must say, you do look rather beautiful tonight. Though I was starting to gain a liking to your musical shirts.”

“My band shirts?” (Y/n) laughed. Realising Thor was staring, she gulped. Slowly she moved her hands upwards and around Thor’s neck, his eyes coming to hers and taking them in.  Carefully she tugged on the whips of hair under his ponytail,  “May I..?” He didn’t even get to ask as she had cut him off. “Shut up.” And then his lips were on hers. His hands tightened around her body, pulling her ever closer. 

It was like literal heaven touched her lips as they moved against hers. His tongue slightly prodding her lips teasingly.They slowly pulled away but their foreheads still touched, they’d waited so long for this moment.

“You won’t believe how long I’ve wanted to do that, little red…” Smiling at the little remark about her dress, (y/n) gave him a quick kiss again. Shocking him into silence from her boldness; there was a small pause before “Wait, did you just insinuate I’m short?”

“Well…” 

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