discworld dashboard simulator
❓ ankhmorporkpolls
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you
🔪 treefroghousealumni follow
*inhume
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
piss off you posh knob
🍴 priestessofanoia
tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...
#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site
10,435 notes
🪻watchofficial follow
ALL'S WELL!
🍴 priestessofanoia
nvm lmao 😭
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☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow
.
#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg
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unseenuniconfessions reblogged:
🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary
Ook
#SO TRUE KING
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Anonymous asked:
Is lord vetinari gay
🪄ramtopswitches answered:
Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this
50,432 notes
🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow
CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)
• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone
• apparently stole over 100k
• cringe
Read More
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Anonymous asked:
Blessings be upon this askbox
🌷queen-of-lancre answered:
I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out
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cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored
SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭
🏚️ throwingshades
Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!
💀 nojusticejustus
HAVE FUN
🏚️ throwingshades
Thanks man!
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✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow
🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar
is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead
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🧳 agateantravels follow
The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off
345 notes
💖 angelofmusic
It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST
#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(
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🐊 genuablogging
My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog
My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us
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Djungelskog - Oscar Piastri x Teacher! Reader
Summary: Summer break means forcing Oscar to help you get your classroom ready in time for upcoming school year.
Fluff. 2024 season. Pinterest pics
Requested: Yes by anon (here)
There's a little blurb halfway down
F1 Masterlist
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yn_ln just posted
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and others
yn_ln last day of term. last recess, last day of chalk drawings. i’ve had a lovely bunch this year and will miss them loads as they move on. looking forward to a much needed break
681 comments
bestfriend feet on the desk? empty classroom? looks like slacking to me
oscarpiastri can’t wait to spend summer break with you
→ yn_ln it’ll be nice to not have to share you with lando
→ landonorris what makes you think you can get away from me
→ georgerussel63 that sounds like a threat, mate
hattiepiastri does this mean you’ll have time to take me to the babymetal concert? ‘cause mum keeps trying to get out of it
→ yn_ln do i have to learn the all the lyrics?
→ hattiepiastri you’re a teacher, learning is in your blood
→ yn_ln osc, help
→ oscarpiastri no, you chose to befriend her
alexandrasaintmleux omg did the kids do those drawings? 🥹belle
→ yn_ln no, that was lando’s drawing
→ landonorris don’t be silly. i can’t draw that well
teacherfriend i’ll do my best to look after them next year but i know i can’t compete with the fabulous miss ln
nicolepiastri when can we see miss ln turn to mrs piastri?
→ oscarpiastri this is why i don’t come home
→ nicolepiastri no, you don’t come home because yn does your laundry now
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by yn_ln, danielricciardo and others
oscarpiastri first part of the season done. first GP victory. first broken bone. looking forward to a much needed break for the rib
4,811 comments
landonorris omg stop copying your girlfriend’s caption style
→ yn_ln he can’t help it. he’s obsessed with me
→ oscarpiastri true
→ user1 let us innnnn
user2 does a broken bone mean he’ll win the next race
→ yn_ln only if i'm there
charles_leclerc and what have you been doing to break a bone?
→ oscarpiastri helping my girlfriend empty a classroom. there’s a lot of books in there
mclaren enjoy the break. we can’t wait to have you back racing and refreshed
→ user3 he’s literally only just left the mtc, give him a minute of peace
→ yn_ln don’t worry. i’ll be putting them in a time out if they try and take him
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yn_ln just posted
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and others
yn_ln my happy place. quick lunch break. dragging my big strong man to carry stuff for me in ikea
814 comments
oscarpiastri before that bear, i was your big strong man :(
→ yn_ln you broke a rib. you’re only so useful. the bear can’t break
→ oscarpiastri it can if i pull it’s head off
→ yn_ln you were a biter, weren’t you?
→ hattiepiastri yes
landonorris why wasn’t i invited
landonorris sushi 🤢
→ yn_ln this is why you weren’t invited
→ landonorris stop trying to push me out
→ oscarpiastri i see you practically 10 months out of the year. she can have me for one afternoon
charles_leclerc oh i love ikea furniture! can i help?
→ yn_ln of course you can. we have snacks as well
→ landonorris blatant favouritism
→ yn_ln yes
danielricciardo omg the djungelskog. when can i meet him?
→ oscarpiastri he’s called skoggie for short
→ nicolepiastri the closest i’ll get to grandkids
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Oscar grinned at the face filling up the front of his phone, sliding the button across to answer it.
“He-”
“Babe, I need more glue.” You exploded, cutting him off before he could even greet you properly. “Oh, and paper.”
“-And I broke the scissors. But the good news is, Lan said he could come and help so could you actually pick up 3 pairs of scissors, please?”
“Sweetheart, breathe.” Oscar reminded you, a soft laugh echoing down the phone. “I’ve literally only been gone for 10 minutes. All we needed was milk. How did you manage to rope Lando into this?”
“Rope? He was practically hanging by the phone waiting for one of us to call. I asked if he could spare a few minutes - just to give you a hand moving the desk - and he was already in the car on his way.”
“At least he’s preparing us for our own children one day,” joked Oscar.
“How have you got paint in your curls? I didn’t ask you to paint because I knew you couldn't be trusted to paint,” the exasperated voice of his girlfriend echoed down the empty school hallways. Light radiated from a singular doorway at the end of the hallway, beckoning him forward.
“Every year, I deal with a class of 30 five year olds, experiencing freedom from their parents for the first time. And yet I feel like I need to watch you more than I do them.”
“But it was just sat on the side, with the lid off!.”
“So you felt the need to somehow stick your entire hand in it?”
Oscar leant against the doorframe, watching affectionately as you used a wet wipe to get the paint off of Lando as best as possible. Despite the curly-haired Brit being old than you, it didn’t stop the caring instinct that came with being a first-year teacher.
One wall was painted a soft lilac whilst the other three had been given fresh coats of white. The chairs and tables had been organised into little groups to help you see each child’s face from the front of the class, and the drawers were freshly stocked with stationery. A little rug and some bean bags were set up in the corner for the story nook, and all that was left to do was start hanging up the wall deco.
“There?”
“Little higher,” you remarked, after faking a contemplative pause.
“Now?”
“Little higher,” you leaned back to really take in the view. “Oh, yeah, that’s good.”
The white t-shirt sat snugly on his strained biceps as he held the board up over his head. The hem rode up as he stretched, revealing a nice sliver of tan, muscular back. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you sighed deeply at the sight before you. How easy would it be to reach and smack-
“Babe!” Oscar called again, turning around to check on you. “I can’t hold this- Are you checking me out? You’re supposed to be telling me where this goes.”
“You shouldn’t look that good then.”
Clambering down from the ladder, he placed the thick board down on the nearest table and sauntered over to you. Placing his hands on your hips, he pulled you flush against him. Pressing a kiss to your nose, he trailed his lips down to your jaw and then under your ear.
“How about we call it a night? This’ll all be here tomorrow, and you can appreciate the view without the t-shirt.”
When you didn’t smile at his enticing offer, Oscar pulled down to look at you. Brushing a strand of hair back from your face, he frowned at the furrow between your brows.
“What’s up, sweetheart?”
“I’m just worried that it’s not enough, you know…”
Oscar turned his head slightly, drinking in all the work you had put together. The butterflies made out of patterned cards that you had spent hours scouring stores for. The paper flowers decorating the whiteboard that you had spent days stressing about. The stack of drawers with each student's name labelled across the front. The days of work that had gone into ensuring that each little person that crossed your threshold was as happy as they could be. A teacher that cared.
“I know they’re only five, and they’ve never had another classroom to go off but- I don’t know. I just want them to feel comfortable and safe, and happy. I don’t want them to feel like they’re in an institution designed to make them sit in a seat for six hours.”
“Look at all the effort you’ve put in so far. Without all the lesson planning and actual caring you’ll do when those kids come under your care. Did you ever have a classroom like this growing up? No. Neither did I. You know why, because nobody cares as much as you do.”
Straightening, he swung you up into his arms, bridal style. A cheeky grin pulled at the corners of his mouth when you shrieked in laughter.
“Now, let’s go home, Skoggie is waiting for us. We'll grab some dinner and take a bath together. What do you say?”
“Okay, Piastri. Take me home or lose me forever.”
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by mclaren, arthur_leclerc and others
oscarpiastri dating a teacher means spending summer break painting, cutting, glueing and then being told “it’s quiet time” whilst she decompresses from watching you do all the work
3,381 comments
yn_ln you wouldn’t stop talking and i was trying to refresh my barbie knowledge
→ user1 princess and the pauper?
→ yn_ln absolutely
→ landonorris i’m the erika to her annalise
→ oscarpiastri whoa, you help with one classroom and think you can take my coveted spot?
yn_ln plus it was hard work taking in the view
→ oscarpiastri i had a pretty good view afterwards 🛁🫧
user2 idk why but the paint hands make me wanna scream
→ user3 omg i wonder if they made the little hand canvas things loads of couples have done
→ oscarpiastri we did! they’re now hung up over our bed
maxverstappen1 think you can make some more of those flowers for P’s room?
→ oscarpiastri i’ve got paper cuts on top of paper cuts. don't ask me to do more
→ yn_ln i’ve got loads left over. she can pick the ones she likes best
user4 the matching pjs 🥰 this couple has my whole heart
→ yn_ln he also has mine!
user5 i love when oscar’s insta has something other than racing on it
→ user6 i want yn to let us onto hers so bad. i would sell my soul for the couples content on there
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yn_ln just posted
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others
yn_ln and it’s done. one week of relaxation left before the new term starts. i can’t wait to meet my new bunch of kids. a huge thank you to my constant kid @/landonorris for his help and mess. and an even bigger gratitude to osc. without you, this never would’ve been finished. you helped not only physically but mentally. my rock 💕
1,681 comments
user7 omg am i seeing things? is this actually oscar’s yn?
oscarpiastri you did an amazing job 🤍 enjoy your last week off
→ yn_ln you better not win any more races without me
→ mclaren you know he can’t promise that
landonorris maybe if you had been my teacher, i would’ve stayed in school
→ carlossainz55 doubtful
maxverstappen1 P can’t wait to be in your class
→ yn_ln and i’m looking forward to being her teacher. although it might be hard to fight the urge to show favouritism
hattiepiastri ew, don’t be cute online
→ oscarpiastri you're just mad that i'm her favourite piastri
→ hattiepiastri we both know that's a lie
→ nicolepiastri it's me
user8 um, can she be my teacher, please?
charles_leclerc i think this is a sign that i need to have children so that you can become their teacher
→ alexandrasaintmleux let’s stick with leo for now
→ nicolepiastri i keep trying to convince oscar and yn. you’ll be next, don’t worry
→ oscarpiastri you have Skoggie. you don’t need any other grandkids
user9 we’re in! everyone say thank you oscar for making her come off priv
→ user10 their couple content is healing my soul
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Request for F1 fics are open.
A/N: Apologies for the delay in getting these out. I've been super busy making jumpers for my upcoming family Disney trip
Tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic
Simon Riley / female reader - request: angst 2/3 - tw trauma
"How bad?"
You're trying to keep pace with Kyle, who's clocking a break neck speed at your side, mind still reeling, trying to turn everything over, make sense of it all, Orion heavy in your arms, nearly asleep again after you pulled him from his dreams to bring him with you... here.
To the hospital.
Kyle says your name. He says it softly, kindly, and there's sadness in his eyes. "He's tough, he's never not made it through... but he did go to surgery when we landed." Oh god. Your stomach roils.
"Mrs. Riley?" You blink. Nothing in this moment feels real, not the white hallway, the antiseptic smell, the hustle and bustle flowing around you like a rock in a river. The woman in scrubs smiles kindly, and you try to focus on her teeth. Straight. Perfect. "Would you like to see your husband?"
"Yeah..." Orion gurgles in his sleep, and you throw Kyle a desperate look.
"Here," he reaches, pulling him into his chest, "I"ll hang out with big man for a bit. You go on." The tightness in your chest loosens, only a fraction.
"Thank you."
The doctor explains the extent of the damage. Surgery. Broken ribs. His limbs are intact, but he 'rung his bell' pretty hard, resulting in an awful concussion. She stops at the doorway with a sympathetic smile. "He's been out of surgery for a few hours, but is fairly groggy. He was asleep the last time the nurse was in. There's a call button on the wall, ring us if you need anything, okay?" You nod, dumbly. Barely processing. Heart squeezing in your chest.
"Simon, it's okay, it's me, just me." He pulls at the oxygen tubing under his nose, and you tug on his wrist, trying to prevent him from yanking it free. "Hey, hey. You're okay, you're in the hospital." You try to soothe him, calm him, but his eyes are blank, lungs raspy and stuttering, full of panic. It's agony to know he's suffering, he's scared, and you can't fix it. "Simon," you try again, placing a hand on his neck, trying to steer his focus onto yourself, but his lip trembles. The monitors beep wildly, too fast, and you try to settle him.
"No, please." Tears spring to your eyes. Your heart breaks. "Stop, stop, please." His voice fractures, tears shining on his cheeks.
"I'm here." Your fingers find his. "I'm here, you're okay, you're in the hospital." You lean over him, gently pressing your lips to his forehead-
and his arm swings wildly at your chest, shoving you away so forcefully you stumble backwards with a gasp, nearly falling.
The door opens, Price and Soap sprinting into the room, the captain holding Simon by the shoulders as Soap slams the call button.
The next moments pass in a blur. A team files in and sedates him, forces something into his IV as he moans, slurring words together you don't understand.
Your sobs come easily.
Your nose keeps skimming across the top of Orion's head.
He didn't mean it. He wasn't in his right mind.
You repeat it over and over again, trying to engrain it in your soul. It's easy to imagine, where he was in his mind. Pleading not to be touched, something in the moment, you didn't understand. It's so obvious looking back.
"He's awake now." Soap eases himself into the chair next to you, the one you've been in for five hours, eyes wide, free hand gripping a lukewarm tea like a lifeline. "Askin' if ye're here."
"He doesn't remember." It's not a question, but Soap still nods.
"We hav'nae told him yet. Wanted to talk ye first." You take a deep breath.
"Will you... will you take the baby? I don't want..." Soap's gaze softens, deep with sympathy.
"O'course."
"There you are." He's desperately relieved, head turned towards you, eyes wide and eager. You long for him, but your body refuses to budge, feet unable to carry you to his side. "It's okay, mama. It's not as bad as it looks. I'm okay."
"S-Simon." You're on the verge, spiraling, and his head tilts, confused, brows creased.
"C'mere, sweetheart. It's okay. I'm alright." Your heart screams. Wails, pleads and begs, move, step forward, go go go... but your body does not budge. You're frozen. "Hey. What's wrong?" Everything. You should be comforting him, helping him, holding him, but fight or flight is slowly poisoning your mind. He struggles to sit up in the bed, monitors sounding off, faster and faster, same pace as before, worry starting to seize his muscles. "What is it? What... are you okay? Is it the baby?"
"N-no... I-" You want to tell him, but the words evaporate. The only thing you can do is press yourself against the wall. Your knees go weak. Your heart is beating too fast, and you turn dizzy, hands splayed behind you for support.
He says your name. When it fails to get your attention, he says it again, louder, hoarse with worry.
It's all too much.
He's still calling for you as you run out the door.
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