#yes this post is brought to you by my personal relationship to terminology

[deadhawke]

How about when it comes to normalizing talking about trans sex can we please keep in mind:

1) Not making assumptions about how a trans person would like their genitalia or other body parts referred to

2) Not making assumptions about if a trans person wants to use certain parts of their body when it comes to sex

Sex with trans people SHOULD be more normalized 100% but even some positivity posts make a lot of assumptions about how trans people as a whole want to have sex and it is getting a little exhausting.

[bijoumikhawal]

I've gotten tired of making a post like this every few months so let's just fire a few of these off, and feel free to add on! Tropes you should at minimum reconsider using when you write or talk about Julian Bashir:

Mentions of "harem" pants, "Arabian nights" aesthetics, etc. These are improper terminology (that feeds into racist ideas) for real things, and when using that terminology those things are often being misrepresented. For my part, if you would actually like to know about the material culture of the Middle East and North Africa, I'm a "hobby" researcher of that very topic and will readily answer asks about it- with the caveat that I mostly know about Egypt, and I'm not the best person to ask about Sudanese specific culture even though I know a little, and I don't know much about Indian or Pakistani fashion (mentioning because these seem to be the most common cultures brought up around Julian).

comparisons to monkeys, apes, the word "simian". This should be obvious but it happens a fair amount, and it's almost comedic given a common trope is to comment on how much Garak hates being compared to a lizard.

This is separate but the way some people use mammalian tips from writing xenofic and trying to understand how an alien would think and categorize things into something that feels very exoticifying. It's not a "full stop, do not do this" but it is something I've noticed

Jokes about how undesirable Julian is. He's the exception that proves the rule about fandom's obsession with white twinks and a rare example of a brown nerd who isn't pinned into the "Couldn't sleep with a woman if they were the last two people on earth" box. I'm not saying we can't make fun of how he flirts just- Stay clear of Raj BBT territory

Conversely: my most hated garashir trope is when the author makes Julian's libido a problem by making him inconsiderate, cruel, and outright manipulative in service of his dick, and the writing often makes it clear they're connecting this to his masculinity. Julian does do some really stupid shit when it comes to his relationships, but this particular way of trying to incorporate this into writing him is just OOC, and you need to not confuse writing Julian's canonical robust and healthy sex life with negative stereotypes about lecherous Black and brown men. There's fics that pull off Julian being a bit of a dick or manipulative well- such as Salt the Earth or the ageswap series (at least where I last left off on it).

making his eyes green or blue. I have the same eye color as Siddig, more or less, and while it's technically hazel (or olive, as some people call it) most people think it's brown and most lighting makes it look brown. If you look at screencaps of Julian, you'll notice it also most of the time, looks brown. This sounds minor if you haven't experienced it, but it has a real and very negative impact on people's self image.

Older one but to be clear: if you're writing Julian as explicitly Muslim, find and replacing "god" with "allah" in English text is not how Muslims (or Arabic speakers in general) use the word? It is really funny to read, but please...

Over focusing on Julian as British. There's a long, LONG conversation that could be had about the dynamics of assimilation and how European racism (ime) very specifically views it as progressive to strip people of their culture and thinks they're causing the problem if they don't go along with it that would need its own post and which I've had with white fans before and feel exhausted thinking about- but to put it simply, there is no such thing as "just British", even for white Englishmen.

Yes the inverse is also wrong but I really haven't read a fic newer than 2014 guilty of that lmao and I think some of the more recent complaints about it are overblown, given I've read only a few fics recently published that delve into Julian as a Brown/African Person and I enjoyed them

I would personally appreciate it if fic writers were a little more balanced about cultural discussions honestly. If you write a lot about Cardassian culture, it'd be nice if Julian’s background was discussed. I won't say that kind of research is easy (again, I do this as a "hobby" that's very important to me, it's actually really annoying and difficult sometimes), but it is possible. I recently talked about how not doing this kind of mentally slots Julian into a "white guy" role.

This is not a matter of me policing your "artistic expression". I have no control over what you do. I would just like for fandom, a hobby I do for fun, to be a place where people stop being racist in a way that directly impacts me.

[cautious-creation]

Human-dodie; Barry Allen fluff

Fandom & Character: DC; Flash (Grant Gustin)

Pairing(s): Flash/Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) x 1st person gender neutral reader

Word/page count: 1200ish words; 1,5 pages

CW/TW: fluff, little bit of insecurity &/or impostor syndrome

Summary: reader gets home from a tough day at work then sings a duet with his/her/their boyfriend, Barry Allen

Author’s note: I LOVE this song, I was listening to it as I was falling asleep one night and came up with this. I’ve been doing singing training for years so I thought I would use some of the terminology and describe techniques and such that I use. I can’t decide if I nailed what I was trying to do here or if it’s confusing and cringey. I’m being brave posting it though🤷  Also, is this a song fic? What makes a fic a song fic?

Music video of ‘Human’ by dodie

It had been a long day. Not necessarily rough, certainly not easy, but long. I'd given many deep sighs on the way home from work, through the kitchen making a mug of tea and grabbing a few biscuits, and heading up to my room. The mug sat on the bedside table, cooling to a drinkable temperature beside the biscuits, as I shed the clothes of the day in lieu of a pair of large, boxers and an unwashed baggy shirt from the floor, beside the laundry basket.

When I flopped onto the left side of the bed, I had my earphones in my hand -unfortunately in a matted tangle of cables and earbuds- with my phone -ready to be plugged in to charge on the bedside table. I'd figured out as a child the exact length of time to dip these biscuits into hot tea to not lose half of it to the drink and have it still crunchy enough. Just how I liked it. The warmth that spread down my throat from the tea almost made the throw blanket over my legs, below my waist, redundant.

I didn't have the mental energy, nor felt the need, to choose a playlist, so music drifted into my ears on shuffle -once I'd managed to negotiate the cables of my earphones apart. The pillows behind my back angled my head so I didn't have to hold my phone in the air to see my Instagram feed. 

It wasn't all that interesting. Some celebrity had said something inappropriate, prompting commentary and memes. One of my high school classmates was getting married, another was threatening to delete Instagram, again. My ex-bestfriend posted the setup of her desk as she studied for her PhD, it made me smile a little to myself, proud of the person she had become and what she'd achieved. A picture of a Canadian social media influencer's cat prompted me to 'aww' aloud.

Reaching the end of the new posts in my feed, I blanked the screen of my phone and set it by my mug on the side table to charge. I placed my hands over my belly, twisting the wooden beads of a bracelet that I kept on my wrist between my fingers. I stared at the ceiling for a while, then closed my eyes, resigning to the music and my own thoughts.

"She's a little ru-u-u-u-u-un away." I hummed along at times, occasionally whisper-singing some lyrics.

A familiar, rhythmic, guitar plucking sounded. It brought a soft smile to my face. I took in a deep sigh of breath. My fingers tapped against my torso with the chiming of a second instrument that I just couldn't quite identify.

‘I wanna pick you up and scoop you out’ I’d always admired Dodie’s cute British annunciation.

‘I want the secrets your secrets haven't found’

“Paint me in trust.” I sang softly with her, trying to mimic the gentleness in her tone.

‘I'll be your best friend. Call me the one.’ I heard shuffling near the door and peaked at Barry through a half open eyelid.

“This night just can't end.” He smiled at me with the same softness I smiled at the song with.

“Woah-oh.” He'd ditched his shoes and took a few long strides to lie in the bed beside me. He must've come from STARR labs with the sweatpants and t-shirt he wore.

“Will you share your soul with me?” He sang. The sound gave my skin a subtle warmth, I'd always loved to hear him sing.

“Unzip your skin and let me have a see.” I answered the line he sang.

‘Paint me in trust.’ The line muffled slightly as I handed the earbud that had been in my left ear to Barry.

“I'll be your best friend.” I sang

“Call me the one.” He joined

“This night just can't end.” I took a slow, deep breath, hearing him continue.

“Woah-oh.” I enjoyed the feeling of the notes vibrate through my chest.

“I'm…so,” I closed my eyes to truly hear the melodic chorus of the last word, “hu-u-man.”

Barry turned on his side to look at me. There seemed to be a brightness in his eyes.

“We're just,” I heard him take a breath to harmonise the title word with me, “hu-u-man.”

I looked at him. I could tell he liked how it had sounded.

“Lean for me and I'll fall back.” The fingers of his left hand danced along my right arm.

“You'll fit so nicely, you'll keep me in tact.” I joined my right hand in his left.

“Paint me in trust.” His eyebrows lifted slightly on the higher note

“I'll be your best friend.” I joined him, “Call me the one.”

“This night just can't end.” He let me sing alone.

“Woah-oh.” He seemed to enjoy that part too.

My smile faded slightly. My gaze flittered around his face, admiring him.

“I want to give you your grin.” To show I meant it, the tips of the fingers on my left hand danced against his cheekbone.

“So tell me you can bear a room that I'm not in.” His expression mimicked mine as he joined me

‘Paint me in trust.’ we both took a beat to emphasise our previous lines

"I'll be your best friend," Barry broke the brief silence, "Call me the one"

I grinned at the words, his enthusiasm for our relationship, "this night just can't end"

'Woah-oh.' 

Slowly, my smile fell and I looked away from Barry with an unfocused gaze, "I'm so hu-u-man." I don't know if I'd ever voiced to him my insecurity about me, an unremarkable non-meta, being unworthy of The Flash.

He caressed my jaw so softly, encouraging me to look back at the sympathetic, hopeful, loving expression on his kind face, "We're," he leaned his forehead against mine, ",just,"

His reassurance returned a subtle spark of contented happiness to my face. I breathed through my smile to join him in the final harmony, ", hu-u-man." 

The sweet tone in that final word was encouragement, our reminder to each other how much we care about each other and our relationship. I bit my lower lip, grinning. His own grin shone back at me.

At the final beat of the track we both started giggling.

"We're such dorks." He pulled my body close to his.

"Then you, Barry Allen, are adorkable." I booped him on the nose with the index finger of my hand that I'd freed from his grasp. He recaptured my hand in retaliation.

I let myself sigh into him.

"Most couples ask each other how their day was when they get home from work." His expression was mockingly accusatory.

"And we perfectly sing random, unprepared duets." I shrugged, "I think we're winning." He shook his head at me with a smile.

When he started shifting, I moved to lie on my side, facing him. My right hand held his left, between us, against the bed. His right arm draped over my torso. My left hand rested on his shoulder, fingers delicately tracing nonsense against his neck, jaw and cheek.

His face scrunched up a little when his hand drifted down my side, reaching the bottom hem of the shirt I wore, "Are you wearing my clothes?"

"The shirt: yes. But the boxers are mine." I became a little concerned at the subtle flash of horror that crossed his face.

"Have I been wearing your boxers?" It was a mere whisper.

I burst out laughing.

It may have been a long day before I got home from work, but being there-in bed with Barry, talking, watching videos on my phone, holding each other-made me wish that the rest of my day could've been a lot longer.

[prehistoricalcats]

I'm really interested in your Cats universe! It seems like you have them living like humans but humans also exist? Can you describe your universe a bit more, if you'd like to? :)

I'd love to!

I must warn you though, this is a very in-depth universe, and even focusing on specific points and trying to simplify things as much as I could, I still managed to make to this about a mile long. Damn I wish Tumblr mobile let me do a read more cut

First of all, yes the Cats are anthropomorphic, and yes humans also exist in this universe. Anthro Dogs, Rats, and Mice all definitely also exist, and I'm considering a few other anthro races like Hyenas and maybe like Rabbits and some others, but haven't put too much thought to that yet.

Just for reference, if it's capitalized (Dog, Cat, etc) it's the anthro race, if it's lower case (dog, cat, etc) it's the fourlegger

Some Basic Terminology:

Non-human beings/non-human people - collective term for all anthro races

NHP - non-human person(s)

Furfolk - common English slang for non-human beings, not politically correct but still pretty widely used. There is also a version of this word for each specific race, Catfolk, Ratfolk, etc. (Note: Mice and Rats often are collectively refered to as Rodents or Rodentfolk)

Fourlegger - regular dogs, cats, etc. Used mostly by NHPs to differentiate between them and NHPs

Bald-bodies - humans. Used by NHPs, considered derogatory by most (nearly everyone uses it anyway)

Kit - kid, child, teenager (for Cats). Short for kitten

Tom - you know this one, an adult or teenage male Cat

Mot - an adult or teenage female Cat, an alternative word for "queen"

License Name - once called the "family name" back when it was still quite common for Cats to work for a human family in a residential household. Essentially this is the name that humans assign to Cats because Particular Names are often "too hard" for humans to remember/pronounce. It's their "official" name that appears on most legal documents, including their "license" which is essentially a registration card and number that all Cats are required to have. Most Cats have a license, and a license name, by age three, some get theirs as infants. Sometimes the parents have a say in what the license name will be, sometimes not. Sometimes a Cat will prefer their license name, some prefer their Particular Name, others don't care and will respond to either.

The Junkyard - a slum, mostly populated by Cats, on the outskirts of the metropolitan area of an unnamed imaginary British city, comprised partly of makeshift shelters scattered throughout an actual dump/landfill/junkyard, and partly of several large shantytowns built on the unused land surrounding the dump

Some biology stuff:

Okay brief anatomy lesson before we begin

(For real though, please at least glance over that link before continuing, it is fairly brief and it makes what I'm about to try to explain a lot less complicated)

I've had to do some fantasy science to work out how Cats can have retractable claws without becoming less dextrous than humans (because I need them to be able to play instruments made for human hands). What I've essentially gone with so far is that Cats have extra bones in their hands/feet, which would make them unlike any other known tetrapod either living or in the fossil record, so the science side of me rebels at this, but the art side of me says it's a story about bipedal talking felines with mystical powers it's already science fiction they could have duckbills if I wanted them to (I don't), and so I think this is a decent compromise. I can go into further detail about the way the claws work later on if you like, but this post is already going to be pretty long so for now I'll just say that you can describe the claw as an extra joint attached to the end of the distal phalange.

Cats are super bendy, for the same reason that (fourlegger) cats are bendy. They have extra bones/joints in their spines. Cats have 7 cervical, 13 thoracic, 7 lumbar, 5 sacral, and 19-23 caudal. They have more sacral bones than fourleggers because they're bipedal.

Cats are habitual bipeds, like humans. But unlike humans, they are perfectly comfortable wandering around on their hands and knees. Though the bipedal stance is more comfortable and usually perfered by adults especially, most non-elderly Cats are still perfectly fine crawling on the ground on their hands and knees. You're generally more likely to see kits and young adults doing this, but older adults do it to. If they want to move fast or run, they use a bipedal stance. Beyond that it's just whatever feels right for the situation.

Some culture stuff

Cats and other NHPs (except Rats) don't need clothing to cover their privates. I'm not going to go into the anatomy of how that works. For now let's just imagine it's the fur that's hiding it. They do wear clothes, especially in winter, but it's not so much for modesty as it is for functionality and fashion. Basically clothes for Cats are for three purposes: to protect from the elements (cold, rain, sun, etc), to shut the outraged humans up, and to look good. It's pretty common in the summer to see Cats wearing nothing but some arm/leg warmers or other fashion accessory, and a belt/rope around their waist to store things on in the absence of pockets,(even if they also have a bag)

If you've ever owned or seen or been around a male rat you probably know why I say "except Rats" and I'm not going to get into it here, just know Rat men always where pants/trousers

Cats exist globally and have a variety of different cultures, often greatly influenced by the human culture of that region, but one of the most universal elements of Cat culture is the idea that "It's considerably dishonorable for a Cat to use anything but their own claws (and teeth in many cultures) in combat against another unarmed Cat." Translation: Cats generally frown on using weapons, though many recognize the need to know how to use them, because humans use weapons, and a claws against a machete or a cattle prod or a gun isn't fair. By the same line many modern Cats consider it okay to use weapons against a (dishonorable) Cat that pulled a weapon on you first, though many elders still frown upon this.

The relationship between Cats (and other NHPs) and humans isn't very good, and the relationship between different types of NHPs isn't much better. There's a social hierarchy that puts humans (especially white straight cis male humans) at the top. The hierarchy goes humans > Dogs > Cats > Rodents

About the Jellicles

The Jellicles are the name of a specific tribe that once was primarily a religious tribe. Back a really fuck long time ago when Deuteronomy was still a kitten, the Jellicles lived off the land and practiced their religion (still working out the details of that sorry but I do have a few things)

The Jellicle Choice is a real thing, though I haven't decided if it started with Deuteronomy or if he was the next in a line sorta kinda but not exactly like the Avatar. The Jellicle Ball is held every year and people used to come from all over hoping to be picked. The humans didn't like this mass gathering, and the space they had in their own territory couldn't quite handle it anyway, so the Jellicles had to start keeping the Ball's location a secret until the day of, to keep the attendance numbers down somewhat. A Choice isn't made every year, though there's always a chance one will be made, and they've had a dry spell for the past 20 or 30 or so years before Grizabella. They don't have to keep the locale a secret anymore, most people don't bother coming and some even think the Jellicle Choice is just a myth. Few people remember when the Jellicles were primarily religious

Deut was trained as a shaman from early childhood, and groomed to be the next leader since he was ten, but he's always been a performer at heart. At some point after taking over as lead, he met (a very very young) Gus and invited him into the tribe. With Gus's help he organized plays and small musical performances, slowly and gradually getting other members in on it as well, until putting on plays every now and then was just a part of Jellicle life. And it was a good thing too, because by this point the tribe had been forced to give up their land and had to move to an industrial slum in the nearest city. No longer able to live off the land, they turned to performance to make a living. This was all well before Skimble/Jenny/Jelly/Spara (Jr)/Griz were born. These days the Jellicles are known primarily as a tribe of performers. Every current member that was born into the tribe except Deut was brought up as a performer

The play we see is an actual play being put on by the Jellicles as a dramatization of the events of That One Particular Jellice Ball™ which happened three years prior to the current timeline.

I think that covers the basic rundown. You can also see this jumbled mess for my first attempt at explaining all this crap lol.

Oh yeah and before I forget, I haven't decided yet if "Peke" and especially "Pollicle" refer to a certain culture of Dog, a certain body type, or two specific gangs ("packs") that just happen to be mostly comprised of a certain culture and/or body type of Dog. But they do exist in this universe. At the very least they are fictional gangs made up for the Rumpus Cat comics (yeah he's a comic book hero in this), or else real gangs or cultures/types of Dog written into Munk's Rumpus Cat fanwork play.

There's also a very important event that I really need to go over at some point but it's a really heavy topic and this isn't the best time like politically to post it right now, or even for me emotionally to write it out. But I do need to get this out at some point...

[perkwunos]

I agree with everything you said in that response to my message! I think that what you say about what makes something "self-aggrandizing" is intensely subjective and should be thrown out for the most part. I suppose I'm asserting, after thinking about it a bit more, that two things can be true at the same time. Yes I agree that there's an anti-intellectualism that exists on the web and in the broader world that worries me. I think that post regarding that is great! 1/

I also think that I have the perception (loosely cobbled together from approximately 20 or so passages I've seen you quote) that there may also be a backslide in the opposite direction in response to anti-intellectualism. I'm no luddite, I think there's a place in public consciousness and society for the highest order of scrutiny. I would say, at the same time, holding some of these philosophers accountable for obfuscating their writing behind circumstantial speech is inefficient. 2/3

I follow you for a reason, I like what you post. I think I was feeling kind of raw with academic writing after having had to do a lot of copy editing over the past week for work. I framed it as a sort of judgement on you, when I think my indictment is on the sometimes uncritical nature of philosopher's writing. The editing process (of which I'm all too familiar with) seems to be brushed of in the field, as if it sullies the extemporaneous nature of the original thought. 3/3

I agree it can be a legitimate problem that people who write philosophical texts--and also scientific texts in general really--have not honed their skills at being clear and concise as much as they could, and they can seem to recklessly disregard getting better at that. And I mean, I am not formally educated in philosophy, I am one of the people who would be more than happy for texts that are rendered more clear in this way. But I also would not be happy with texts that simply engage in less ideas, make more superficial arguments, are less bold in their terminology, less willing to explore rhetorical and poetic possibilities, don’t spark a desire in the reader that lures them to new possibilities, and avoid finding new ways to appeal to intuitions and data beyond the confines of easy common sense. These aren’t easy things to do well, I know personally they require a lot of continual work and practice, but isn’t that process of work and practice exactly what this all consists of, what these texts when not reified end up really being? I think you can end up with people in high positions in institutions who aren’t good at any of this and end up impeding others at getting better--but isn’t that a problem that’s more properly situated in a discussion on these institutions and the way their hierarchies function? I think maybe it could be more fruitful to have a discussion on how the institutional power of academia reifies this process into the appearance of accepted, authoritative “knowledge” losing the sense of our concrete relationships with one another in which we engage in and desire better theories (and thus better texts).

I’m sure you have read things that legitimately were flawed in these ways, but at the same time this sort of criticism can function as a way to dismiss those attempting to enact modes of thought that move beyond or outside what’s commonly accepted, those who criticize or expose what many do not want brought under scrutiny. So I think it doesn’t help to be vague in what we have a problem with, and we should be careful about becoming too comfortable and confident in our ability to judge these texts with full consideration of all the possible categories by which they could be of value, quickly dismissing things without giving them a more open, in depth and particular scrutiny in conversation with others (at the same time, we absolutely should have the confidence and feel comfortable scrutinizing particular texts and sharing that with others). So specifically, you reference passages I’ve posted you find problematic in these ways, but which passages were those and what were the problems? I don’t think that everyone I cite is faultless, but I’m not sure what are the specific faults you’re finding.

[tonyglowheart]

I genuinely don’t understand people who say aspecs are queer BUT NOT kinky people. If you’re into BDSM, if you’re polyamorous, if you’re celibate, if you’re hypersexual, if you’re in an interracial relationship. It’s all related. These are sexuality/relationship/lifestyles that don’t meet our society’s standards and are underrepresented or represented negatively and so i think they are all queer

Anon I am having thinky thoughts but also I lowkey don’t want to get into this too majorly bc I got into this several years back during said campaign I mentioned in the tags on that rb post lmfao and it resulted in a whole Thing and I like... don’t have the energy to get into internet arguments with people anymore because I’m old and tired and can’t deal with the back and forth of me making points, them ignoring the majority of my points in favor of some strawmen or appeal to extremes, me addressing that and also some points including maybe where they DO have a point about some facet I failed to consider but have now, them ignoring that and repeating their same talking points, me addressing their points again & pointing out their ad hominems that usually have come out at this point and other logical fallacies, them ignoring that to repeat- and ultimately, we’re kind of talking past each other and I’m mostly appealing to whatever audience might be around. (I think I might have priv’ed or deleted a bunch of posts from back then but some may still be up somewhere in my archive lmao.....). 

So on that kind of note I don’t... necessarily want to get into an argument or debate (not necessarily with you, possibly by some other anon passing through who is much more inclined to picking a fight with me about the Affront to Them Personally as well as the sanctity of the movement) on whether or not being kinky itself constitutes being “queer” per se bc I think the terminology is a sticking point and I do kind of see the perspective of “kink doesn’t make you automatically queer” **HOWEVER** yes I do also agree with that post I rbed that like kink/fur do rather constitute “queer subcultures” even though not every single person in there is LGBT+ in a more “traditional” sense - such as speaking more towards like sexual orientation & gender identity - and that these kinds of “alternative” lifestyles do present a “queering” (*a* queering) of ^ sexuality/relationships/lifestyles or whatever we might term that. And maybe that’s what I was struggling to articulate all those yrs ago lmao, when I was young and full of the energy of the Youthe and could get into internet arguments with ppl. The like respectability politics of trying to be sanitized enough to be “acceptable” to a hostile and rigid mainstream while alienating queer subcultures, which just results in the queer community at large cutting off parts of itself to try to be/remain “acceptable” but that just leads to self-harm to the community at large vs addressing more global/bigger picture issues.

Hrmmm okay I think what this whole issue of terminology and what gets to be called “queer” kind of gets to: they’re related, as you say, but that being varying shades or scopes of marginalized, but that doesn’t necessarily make it all “queer”? Because.... tbh I can see why the full-stop is a sticking point for people, and I do kind of think operationalized terms have more value when they ARE applied with scope instead of trying to generalize it too broadly, and queer does mean something quite specific (or.. maybe not specific, but rather that “queer” DOES have parameters, tho they may be more of like a soft-shaded parameter as opposed to some kind of hard fence)? 

But I do agree that usually a lot of the language people against various other kinds of marginalized identity aspects uses, mirrors, & parallels language used against other things, like language against queer people/queer relationships & interracial relationships, and that communities would be served better with solidarity rather than trying to excise or disavow other communities - ESPECIALLY communities which have a lot of overlap with the queer community and also are historical and current allies - in a futile attempt to be “respectable” enough for the hostile mainstream and its evermoving goalposts.

..But maybe I’m just quibbling a point here, because while I don’t know if I’d call kink/fur/etc “queer” and the term “queer subcultures” seems to fit better for me, this does point to “these subcultures have room within queer spaces and in fact were there at the inception of ‘queer spaces’ as we kind of conceive of it today in USmerica” (idk fur but the kink community was definitely there). And then this gets into a more philosophical question of “well if it belongs in queer spaces is it not then ‘queer.’” This may be a “this topic is complicated and multifaceted an these different arguments based on different needs and with different axes of foci can coexist.” Ultimately, I think it does come down to “exclusionary rhetoric against a marginalized identity/community - especially one that is aligned, if not overlapping or otherwise part of the “core community” at the heart of this issue - is more harmful than helpful because the goalposts of respectability will never stay put and the language used by the hegemony against one group often is reused/paralleled/mirrored in language against another marginalized group, and can very easily be turned again back against you.”

Speaking more towards the arguments re: the 'coming out' campaign backlash, like back then I was fairly active in the m/m romance GR community & more in touch with ppl who were part of kink communities who were part of the m/m GR comm, and like based on what they told me/we talked abt following the whole backlash against “coming out kinky,” is that ppl DO in fact lose their jobs get disowned get evicted etc if they're 'outed' as kinky. Which then directly parallels the vanilla queer experience. I think a sticking point back then was that 'born this way' rhetoric was more prevalent back then, and ppl see kink as more of a 'lifestyle choice' and less about something 'inherent', and also some ppl were just flat-out like 'um ew it's sexual harassment'. But I think if you look at various dynamics of kink there's like lifestyle kink which isn't necessarily inherently or always sexual so like I don't think it's automatically a sexual harassment thing, ig for me it's like... ppl reacting with SUCH backlash against the idea that kink could/should be allowed within the concept of queer spaces and that echoes that post about assassination of queer subcultures, and like coming out isn’t always “I fuck xx” or “I fuck in xx way,” like if you come out as gay you’re not necessarily describing in explicit detail to your mother the ways fuck, you know? I think for me the “coming out” thing also was kind of like... is it safe for you for people to find out x aspect about you? And I do rather think there’s greater hostility towards these kinds of subcultures, which would then perhaps elicit or illustrate a reason why we might want to normalize or educate people better on what exactly constitutes the precepts of the subculture, vs whatever popular idea of it is prevailing at the time?

..I think ultimately we go back again to “this topic is complicated because there’s many intersectional issues as well as competing needs so there’s not a one-size-fits-all ‘answer’ to the questions/issues brought up”

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

hi there! i really appreciate the resources on clobber claims, but something i still can't really explain is passages that refer to marriages as being husband and wife, for example ephesians 5:22-33 - if husband and wife is the only model of marriage that the bible talks about in this way, how could it be applicable to all marriages (ie. same gender marriages)? 1/2

(2/2) and by extension, if the way marriage is talked about is not inclusive of all marriages, wouldn’t it mean same gender marriages aren’t included/accepted? sorry if i’ve worded it in a rather strange way, i’m not sure how to frame my question and i’m just kind of confused about it all. thanks ever so much and God bless you!

____

Hey there, great questions! 

My quick response is: 

the Bible was written in cultures much older than and utterly different from our own. Our concept of marriage doesn’t directly translate into anything depicted in the Bible. Plus, some things that exist now didn’t exist back then (cars, phones, terminology like “LGBT” or like “Christianity”) – so just because the Bible never explicitly mentions a certain thing doesn’t mean it condemns that thing, you know? 

One thing that this means for me at least is that I need to constantly challenge my own assumptions about which kinds of relationships are “valid” or not in God’s eyes. What about polyamorous ones? Ones that involve sex without marriage? Marriages or other forms of committed partnership that don’t include sex? 

My longer answer is below!

__________

I’ve got a post that responds to the question: The Bible’s passages on marriage are only about man+woman couples – so does that mean it condemns same-sex marriage? In that post you’ll find….

a link to another post that discusses what sexuality and marriage were “like” in biblical times – for instance, the concept of marriage as we know it today did not really exist in the time of the Hebrew Bible (“Old Testament”)! The closest thing that did exist was more like an economic agreement in which the woman was like property – it wouldn’t have made much sense for a two-man or two-woman relationship. 

examples of stories in the Bible that actually do something somewhat like a marriage between two men, or between two women

Check out this post for even more – responding to the question “What does God consider marriage?”

________

Next, I said at the start of this post that just because something’s not mentioned in the Bible doesn’t mean it’s rejected by the Bible / by God. I want to note that the reverse is true as well: just because the Bible does discuss a thing doesn’t mean its authors and/or God affirms that thing – the Bible’s full of stories of attempted genocide, sexual violence, sexism, ableism, and more; but that doesn’t mean God condones those things! (If you’re interested in a book that delves into the various forms of violence in the Bible and what we should make of it, I recommend Inspired by Rachel Evans.)

The post I linked up above about biblical marriage describes how the closest thing to our concept of “marriage” in the Bible is more of a business transaction between men – usually the father of a woman and the man who wants to take her as his “wife" (or concubine, sex slave, etc. Yes, ew.) Just because that’s the model of marriage described in the Bible doesn’t mean God wants our partnerships to be like that! These things were just part of the “landscape” of the time and place the Bible was written. 

Even when the authors of scripture seem totally content with those models or concepts, or even affirm and build off them like Paul does for marriage in that Ephesians passage you mentioned, that’s not still not a reason in itself to conclude that God also affirms them. 

One can hold that the Bible is divinely inspired without concluding that that means that every viewpoint expressed in it is itself the “divine opinion” – human authors penned the Bible’s various books, and necessarily brought their human limitations and assumptions to that writing. Ephesians 5: 22-23, for instance, supports the marriage model that was normative in Paul’s day and that he therefore assumed was moral or “correct” – one in a marriage is necessarily between a man and a woman and contains a hierarchy, wherein wives are subject to / submit to their husbands. But is that really what God wills for our relationships? For explorations of that question, see this post on women in the Bible! And if you want even more to read, see this post too. 

________

With all of this in mind, you might be wondering – so, is there anything in the Bible that can helpfully inform our marital relationships today? I think so!

People who consider the relationship between Adam and Eve to be a sorta paradigm for marriage should know that Eve is Adam’s equal, any idea of her subordinate status comes only after the Fall corrupts human relationships 

As one of the linked posts above discusses, relationships between characters like Jonathan and David might could teach us some things about marriage

 My wife and I once made a video on the concept of “complementarianism” and how the way it’s usually taught is super sexist and homophobic but maybe it can be reworked into something more LGBT-affirming. 

…And honestly, if nothing else, some of the relationships we see in scripture might be examples of what not to do in a marriage (or any romantic/sexual relationship). We can study some of the relationships in the Bible and consider how they bear good or bad fruit, and take on or avoid characteristics of those biblical relationships in our own relationships. 

Finally, one more post that might help as you continue to explore this topic – how to we take cultural context and human authors’ limitations into account without simply using the Bible to justify our own views; and if God affirms LGBT persons why is it so hard to “prove” it?

Good luck, and please let me know if you have more questions! 

[petitrenard]

I can’t finish

Jessica stood outside the door and felt her heart beating in her chest. She was surprised she could feel anything. Chicago had been hit with another sub zero snowstorm and the short walk from her office to this front door was enough to make her reconsider her decision to move back home. Although, if she were being completely honest with herself, this was exactly where she wanted to be at this moment.

As she began taking off the layers of outerwear, she got a bit light headed and leaned her head against the wall of the entryway. Or was it a vestibule? Despite 3 years of design she always got those two confused. Proper terminology aside, she leaned her head on the wall of the area directly outside of the apartment door of the man she wanted to sleep with that wasn’t her husband. Jessica chuckled to herself, I’m not sure there’s an architectural term for this particular space.

As she was playing over the events of earlier in the day, the apartment door opened. Even though she wasn’t expecting it to open, she knew that it was going to open and although abrupt, she wasn’t startled. From the doorway Liam handed her a drink and grabbed her tote. “Jessica! You don’t have to stand in the entryway all night.”

She made a mental note, Entryway. Entryway. Check. This is an entryway. Check. Jessica took a moment to drink in the situation. Her hesitation must’ve telegraphed and Liam extended his hand out to her and said, “You can slam that whiskey in my entryway, I can hand you your Louis with my manuscript inside, you can walk out of here and you can never look back. But I’d be a real dick if I sent you out to the El platform without at least making sure you warmed up first.”

The thought of freezing while waiting for the El was not even remotely ideal. She considered for a moment, took her gloves off and walked inside.

As the door shut behind her, Jessica looked around at Liam’s place. It was a converted warehouse space, which wasn’t what she expected, and that definitely telegraphed. As Liam walked past her he remarked, “If you think the foyer is nice, you should see the rest of the place.”

She followed him into his living room. It was gorgeous. An original Pollock hung over the roaring fireplace, polished concrete floors, floor to ceiling windows with a large french door that led out to a lush indoor/outdoor terrace complete with a hot tub. Her bones ached to climb into the steaming hot tub. She also wondered how anything could be lush in the middle of a Chicago winter - making a mental note for small talk.

Jessica took a deep breath...this place, combined with this guy was trouble. She was at his place for a legitimate reason - his manuscript was about to be in production and they had to go over the copy editors queries. She knew better than to go to an authors home though - especially since her husband was out of the country and she didn’t plan on telling him about the visit when they talked tomorrow afternoon. The 100%, completely legitimate work visit between a new client and his editor was not going to be discussed.

In the 10 years she had been married, Jessica had never given another man a second look. She was happy, she was stable and it was a healthy relationship, but fuck was she bored. So this afternoon when Liam asked her to swing by after work to go over the edits, she leapt at the opportunity.

Liam Clark was a designer, writer, and noted post-disaster expert that had just finished a successful nationwide lecture tour. The big publishing houses had courted him, but he and Jessica hit it off instantly. Her independent publishing house was small, but well respected in the literary world and their arts focused content was second to none. Not to mention her robust multi platform approach to promotion and distribution. Liam signed during their first meeting.

She was thankful that he wanted to get right to business. His manuscript was splayed out across his coffee table and he sat right down. Instantly she felt silly for assuming that their rapport at her office earlier was anything more than a new client taking the opportunity to develop a relationship with his editor.

The two of them began pouring over the notes, drinking, eating and laughing. A few hours had easily passed and Liam got up to stir the fire. Jessica hadn’t looked at her phone or outside until the Weather Alert tone sounded. Significant Weather Advisory, Winter Storm with up to 8” of snow expected along with dangerously low wind chill. Fuck. For the first time all night, Jessica stood up and went to the front window.

The street was absolutely empty and the wind and snow was blowing with an almost comical ferocity. She shook her head. There would be no El tonight. Jessica opened the Uber app to try to get a car - No Cars Available. She would have to go back to her office and spend the night there. Perfect. A night on my couch. Love it. This is why you can’t have nice things Jessica.

Liam walked up to the window with another drink in his hand and handed it to Jessica. “Liam, I have to get going. I’ve got to get back to my office before it gets any worse out there and I can’t walk.”

“Jessica, you can’t go out there.”

��It’s fine. It’s only 2 blocks to the office. I’ve got a couch & a whole set up. I’ll be fine.” Jessica  was doing a really bad job at selling this scenario. She didn’t want to go spend the night in her stupid office. She wanted to stay here, with the charming, handsome, successful man and sink into his hot tub.

“No way. You’re wearing high heeled boots, those are all fashion no function. Let’s say I let you venture out into the blustery, freezing Chicago night. You become disoriented and never make it to your office. They find your chic but frozen body with my manuscript in your tote. Next thing I know the cops are looking at me for answers...and the literary world never forgives me for letting the beautiful and talented Jessica Simpson, no relation, walk out of my warm apartment.”

“You make a compelling point. It’s not a problem if I stay here?”

“If it was, I wouldn’t have offered.”

She glanced out at the street, back into the apartment and then back at Liam. “All right, I’ll stay. Thank you.”

Liam smiled, “Perfect! I’ll get dinner started.”

Jessica hated how much she loved this attention and felt a little bit guilty. Is a 100% completely legitimate business sleepover a thing? Yes. As long as I don’t sleep with him, it is absolutely a thing. She glanced over at Liam turning on the burner of his industrial stove and wondered what a 90% legitimate business sleepover looked like.

“How can I help?” she asked.

“Why don’t you turn on the hot tub and find a movie on Netflix! I know it’s pretty basic, but the hot tub is perfect for a bone chilling night like this.”

Fuck. The percentages on legitimacy were rapidly diminishing the longer she stayed. She looked back at the street one last time, saw a couple stagger through the snow down the street, fall into a snowbank and drew the shades. In for a penny in for a pound. Jessica admonished herself. In for a pound? A pound? Oh you dirty birdie. You ma’am are a bad person. She nearly sprinted to the hot tub and started the bubbles.

Dinner was lovely and lively. As Jessica cleaned up, her insistence, Liam went to grab another bottle of whiskey from his bar. The apartment was warm and had a lovely warm glow. The steam from the hot tub made the room feel almost tropical. She was glad that she hadn’t left.

Liam came back with a fresh bottle of whiskey and asked the million dollar question. “Want to jump in the tub?”

“I don’t have a swimsuit.”

“It’s ok. I have an oversized t-shirt if you want.”

Jessica was instantly glad that she had worn a matching bra and panty set. “Ok, if it’s not too weird. I’ve kind of been dying to get in.” And then she did something completely bold. Still unsure if it was the whiskey, the terminal fidelity or good old fashioned lust, Jessica began undressing in Liam’s kitchen...he didn’t stop her.

She stood in her bra and panties in his kitchen. Her clothes in a heap at her feet. She let her hair down. Liam had poured her another drink and placed it on the counter in front of him. Jessica grabbed it and as she walked past him she gently brushed his hand with her body. “Thanks Liam. I’m going to get into the tub now.”

Before she got past him, Liam grabbed her wrist. Jessica froze. She didn’t want to meet his eyes. She already knew exactly what he wanted. It was exactly what she wanted. Instead she looked at her wrist and his hand. He pulled her hand towards his cock and instinctively her body pressed against him.

She lifted his shirt up and pressed her belly to his. Liam groaned and pulled her body closer to him. Jessica pushed his shirt up further as she began kissing his belly on her way down to her knees. This was the moment that she knew in the war between all or nothing, she had chosen all. She ached for him. As she looked into his eyes, she knew he ached for her.

He undid his pants, she pulled them down and welcomed his hard cock into her mouth. She groaned and took him in her mouth with an eagerness to please him that neither she nor Liam had ever experienced. She wanted to know every single inch of his body, by mastering what was before her.

As the tip of Liam’s cock slid down the back of Jessica’s throat, he whimpered. His pleasure only made her want to please him more. She looked up at him, grasped his cock with her hand and said, “I want to please you Liam. I want to give you everything you want. Please let me please you.”

He looked down at her open mouth and pushed his cock back onto her warm, waiting tongue. “I want you to suck my cock until my balls are empty.” And with a single thrust he was deep in her mouth. Jessica took it all and Liam grabbed her hair in his hand, “That’s a very good girl. You’re making me very happy Jessica.” Liam’s encouragement made her work harder to please him. She brought him close to climax multiple times and as she edged him down she said, “Will you please put your cock inside of me?”

Liam took a moment as his cock rested on her tongue. “Jessica. My cock is already inside of you. It’s inside your mouth. Where else could possibly you want my cock?”

Jessica let go of him and slowly stood up. As she did she slid her panties down to her knees. As she pulled them down there was a long string of precum from her pussy to her panties. She grabbed Liam’s cock and pushed it against her wet pussy. “I want it here.”

Liam took a deep breath, put his fingers between her legs, spread her pussy and pushed his cock inside of her. 

[thewoesofyaoi]

What's up with glum shoe?

OH MAN

Ok well I’m sure people have made like Actual Callout Posts about this person so I’m not gonna like add screenshots to this post or anything (they have a discourse tag on their blog, you can just check for yourself tbh) but here’s the gist:

Basically for a long time GS identified themselves as like sexuality-ambiguous transmasc— iirc they claimed to not be straight but it was clear they were attracted to women, but like a lot of transmascs are bi, so nbd, nobody thought anything of it. The fuckery started when GS made a post that was like “when you find out a cute girl is straight: 😕 when you find out a cute girl is gay: 😕” and everyone was like “yo dude, not cool, complaining about women being lesbians isn’t cool... this is also really fetishistic of bi women...”

GS FLIPPED out. Most people assumed this was like, a case of a het transmasc lamenting that str8 women wouldn’t find them attractive due to being trans (which is a genuine problem het trans people face, cishet people’s transphobia), and that they just did it in a gross and insensitive way where they also brought lesbians into the realm of complaint for no good reason (which I still think is what was at the root of the issue here tbh, a lot of het trans people “forget” that they can’t just complain about people being gay and be absolved from homophobia bc they’re trans or used to ID as gay before transition). But GS insisted that no, this isn’t about them hating lesbians, for you see, they ARE a lesbian! Checkmate atheists!

So, everyone was understandably confused by this. If you’ve been IDing as transmasc for years, and have talked about being stealth as a male camp counselor, they said, how are you a lesbian? You can’t be a lesbian and transmasc. GS explained (after much arguing with lesbians and telling them to shut up and stop overreacting) that they actually never really were transmasc, they’re a nb lesbian, but they felt they didn’t need to explain this to a bunch of yahoos on tumblr because they OBVIOUSLY overestimated our ability to grasp gender complexity 😤.

Understandably, people found it suspicious that this lesbianism revelation only came to light after wlw started calling them out for being lesbophobic and fetishizing bi women, especially given how gung-ho they were about being transmasc and being stealth and whatnot. There had been NO indication of this distance from maleness before (worth noting that up until all this happened they used he/him pronouns; after this incident they switched to they/them). But, many still trying to keep an open mind, said “ok GS, so you’re a cis-aligned lesbian who wanted to medically transition. No big deal, lots of lesbians do that. And maybe you found it easier to let people think you were a man than explain your reasons for wanting to medically transition. But why would you then be complaining about other women being lesbians? If you’re a lesbian, would other lesbians not be a large portion of your dating pool?”

This is where the fuckery gets real thick. GS explained that, you see, they have this NEED to pass as a man. It goes beyond safety or ease of access to medical transition, this is Part Of Their Gender, that they’re a lesbian who needs to be read as a man by most people. Given this, they say, most lesbians who express attraction to them irl would be doing so even though they KNEW that GS wanted to be seen as a man, and thus those lesbians would probably be terfs. And GS doesn’t want to date terfs. So you see, the only viable partners for them are bi women, because str8 women wouldn’t be interested in them as a lesbian, and lesbians would either not be interested bc they’d see GS as a trans man or would only be interested bc they didn’t take GS’s transition seriously. And even if a lesbian by some miracle, with their puny lesbian brain, understood this Gender Complexity©️, all the people GS interacts with irl who think they’re a man would get suspicious at the fact that they were dating a lesbian and thus this hypothetical lesbian gf would ruin the facade of maleness that GS feels compelled to put up in their day to day life.

So, of course everyone was like “🤔 for a lesbian you sure seem awful lesbophobic and disparaging of other lesbians’ understanding of gender. Why would you assume you’re the only lesbian who has a complex relationship to both maleness and femaleness? And beyond that, it really sounds like when you say ‘lesbian’ you’re only thinking about AFAB lesbians.” It’s also confusing that GS seemed intent on positioning themselves in society as a man— to the point of only wanting to date women who are interested in men, because apparently a lesbian simply lying and being like “ah yes, this Man is my Boyfriend” (a thing that lesbian friends of mine who needed to be read as men for safety in certain situations have asked their female-reading lesbian gfs to do without issue) is like not sufficient— but still insists they’re a lesbian at heart. And the way they frame this insistence is “I don’t need to explain my gender complexity to you, tumblr riffraff. But you shouldn’t assume being a lesbian makes me a woman or even woman-aligned, for I Reject Alignment Terminology.”

It seems clear that GS has simply no interest in confronting the material reality of their situation. Like, personally, as a gay transmasc person, this to me reeks of a het transmasc not wanting to accept their (highly context-dependent) ability to access straight and male privilege. Of a het transmasc feeling estranged from the cis norm of straightness and maleness, and thus concluding that they are neither straight nor male, rather than acknowledging that these identities can be complex too. It’s the kind of thing that doesn’t really seem insidious unless you actually ARE both trans and gay or both trans and a woman (or all 3), in which case all you see is yet another example of someone who holds power over you coopting your identity to make themselves feel better about this power.

[bbs-backlog-challenge]

BB’s Games Of 2019

2019 as a year felt like it lasted two years, and a lot happened in my personal life. Got a new job, learned to drive, got my first car, moved out of the in-laws’ basement into our first real apartment, started my first long-term game of DnD (which in itself has involved a new relationship and an emotional breakdown)- and between it all I somehow managed to play 77 games. Backlog’s down to 35 titles, lads- at this rate, I’ll be down to zero by July 2020. (Not gonna happen.) In 2020, I’d like to explore the SNES catalogue a little more, but before that happens we have to review everything 2019 brought me, in a somewhat chronological order.

- Near A Tomato Carry-over from last year’s post since I was in the middle of playing it at the time. I definitely never quite got a handle on the combat and I think some of the themes went over my head, but I still had fun here, and the 9S hacking minigame never got old. It was a gift from an old friend who I miss. Was nice to reconnect. - SSBU With my new main Zelda, I cleared all of WoL and got every spirit on the Spirit Board. I never really used her before but she’s cute now! Really liked the attention to detail in the spirit encounters. Unfortunately, Cloud is still in the game. - Mega Mans 1 2 and 3 I actually spoke about my experiences with the Mega Men in my BBLC post for Mega Man Eggs, so you should read that right now. - Metroid Samus Returns It’s Good. Like, a solid Good. Never Great, never Bad, just Good. It’s nice to see one of the least accessible games in the series get a remaster, but it feels very disposable, if that makes sense. Like they just needed a Metroid to keep people busy while they reboot Prime 4 development. AM2R is vastly superior, go play that. One point of amusement- the game tells its story without narration, and also seems to pre-suppose you know Metroid lore. I was entertained by the thought of a newcomer to the series being completely mystified by the sudden space-dragon that comes out of nowhere to wreck you at the end of the game. - Khimera: Destroy All Monster Girls You can click here to download it, ‘cos it’s free, which is almost criminal. This is one of the higher tier games I’ve played this year. A little bit Mega Man, a bit Metroid, with hints of Touhou and Undertale, it’s pretty tough at times but never to ‘precision platformer’ levels. It’s a lot of fun and the dev deserves your support. - Steve And Ollie RPG Oh, I made this one. Making something else next year? Question mark? - Prof Layton 3 Feels like these are getting weaker as they go along. The story has always been absolute boohockey, but the puzzles feel like they’re degrading in quality too. With over 200 in each game, that’s not super surprising, and I’m glad they didn’t bulk it out with a load of the awful block-slider puzzles. Still, it’s Layton, if you liked any of the other games you’ll like this cos it’s the exact same thing. - Fault Milestone Two Yo, there ain’t a damned thing I can say about Fault, so go play the first one and then play this and you’ll understand. - Full Throttle I never bothered to finish it. The obtuse old Sierra puzzlers were hard enough to deal with back in the day, and just feel kind of inexcusable now. I don’t have the patience for it. - eXceed 3rd Slick and fun bullet hell with a nigh-incomprehensible story and great music. Touhou fans will like it. Music by SSH who is relatively well known in doujin circles. - ASAMU Finished it before writing my BBLC post! - Eternal Senia Everything I said in my post rings true- do your best to look past the wonky translation, because there’s a heartfelt story underneath it. Very accessible gameplay, by design. - Inivisble Inc You have never before been, nor will you ever again be, so aware of having left a door open. I fully expected to hate Invisible, but I got hooked pretty hard. Quite tempted to do another run of it once the backlog is clear. - Pyre GOTY. Supergiant’s best game so far, and that’s not an easy thing to say for this Bastion veteran. I sobbed by the end. I’m not being dramatic- literally sobbed. Please play it. Music and writing and, just, heart, are all top tier. All the Nightwings are the best, but Hedwyn is the best best. - Ellipsis Finished it before writing my BBLC post! - Just Cause 2 I found myself getting bored very quickly. The main missions are all identical (really, they are) and the side missions are very uninspired. Blitzing around in a jet or grappling around a mission target is a lot of fun but it feels very shallow. There’s a lot to do but not really any reason to do any of it. I dunno, it’s a kind of hollow experience, that I nonetheless had fun with. - LiEat It went over my head a little, but that’s more on me I think. These horror-esque, eccentric japanese RPG Maker games usually do. But, it’s neat, and short. If this sort of thing usually sticks on you, I think this is a good title. - Shantae Pirates Curse These games always felt non-essential to me; I’m not sure why they never stuck. They never really go below or above Good. Entirely enjoyable but I don’t feel like I’d have really missed anything if I hadn’t played them. It is, however, absolutely worth investing in for the utterly superb sprite work. That doesn’t sell a game by itself, I know, but Shantae is a pixel art masterclass. - FF5 I’d more or less finished it by the time I wrote my BBLC post, so I don’t have much to add. It’s a refreshingly goofy entry in a series known for taking itself too seriously, even compared to its predecessor. Look forward to my entry for this game in my Games Of 2020 post, having played the Four Job Fiesta! - Touhou 17 It’s mid-tier in the touhou hierarchy, IMO. Didn’t set my soul alight but I did enjoy it. Playing as Wolf Marisa makes the final boss too chaotic to really enjoy, but playing through again with Reimu made it more fun. I beat Extra on my third run through, which gave me false confidence that after 10 years I might actually be good at these games- to then be quickly humbled by attempting Th11’s Extra. Final Boss’ theme song has one of the greatest lead-ins of all time, especially given you start the fight by running away from her! Also really loved the Stage 4 theme as you barrel head-first into Hell (the real one this time), and the haunting, calm-before-the-storm serenity of Stage 5, overlooking the City Of Beasts. - HackNet + Labyrinths GOTY. (Yes, I know I already said Pyre was GOTY; it’s my post, I can have two GOTYs. Make your own damned post!) It’s hard to say what I loved about these games without spoiling too much- just know that they play very much like investigation games, and figuring out the puzzles feels great. Labyrinths technically takes place during the events of Hacknet, with a somewhat more Black Hat approach to things- despite this, play all of Hacknet first, and then play Labyrinths. The expansion introduces a lot of new stuff and much trickier challenges, such that going back to the base game afterwards to finish that would leave it a little hollow- a disservice to how great the ending is. - Mega Man X I said everything I wanted to say in my BBLC post, and anything I didn’t cover was better said by Egoraptor. - Octodad Finished it before my BBLC post! - Chroma Squad The final mission is disappointingly poor, but everything up to that point was pretty good. Huge variance and creativity in the bosses. However, the most fun I got from it was when I realised the game allowed me to customise my team name, transformation name, and other such terminology. Dave, Dayve, Davy, Davina, and Dehve shouting “It’s time to Chromatise, Chroma Squad!” very quickly became “It’s time to shit, you bunch of fucks!” and it was funny every single time. (Personal favourite bit of dialogue- “I tried to shit! It worked!”) - Pyrite Heart Finished it before my BBLC post! - Starfox 2 Finished it before my BBLC post! - Burly Men At Sea Finished it before my BBLC post! - Disc Room Finished it before my BBLC post! - Kokurase Finished it before my BBLC post! Should have broken these ones up a bit! - Metroid Rogue Dawn Very, very impressive romhack let down by a distinctly un-fun final section. They managed to fix so many of OG Metroid’s problems, I’m surprised the gauntlet of terribleness that is Tourian escaped with only a cosmetic change. Nonetheless, it’s free, and the other 95% of the game is superb, even from a purely technical standpoint. - Wuppo I dunno what happened here! I was full of praise for Wuppo when I played it, but somehow I just couldn’t stick with it and just never felt like playing it. It’s a very aimless game, and I wonder if that might be why? It’s a shame, I feel disappointed in myself for not seeing it through, but ultimately I play games to have fun and I just wasn’t quite there with Wuppo. - Super Mario Odyssey I loved it, obviously. I wrote my BBLC post towards the end of my time with Odyssey so most of that stands- I do want to add that the controls always felt a little loose, like I wasn’t quite as in-control as I was in Galaxy. Also Mario prioritises walljumping over ledge-grabbing and it’s super-hard to unlearn that instinct after 20 years. Finally- Long Journey’s End is just bullshit. - Secret Of Mana Dropped it pretty soon after Finning it. There’s some logic to the way the game works, some kind of hidden turn-order system, that I could not at all figure out. My AI companions (useless, btw) would hit an enemy which meant I couldn’t, except sometimes the hit would still register but only actually go through 3 seconds later, without any way to tell which way it was going to go. It takes like 7 months for your character to get back up after taking a hit. It’s just, wonky, and I couldn’t solve the puzzle of how to make the game do what I wanted to do. - Pokemon Shield Still working my way through it. It’s- yeah, it’s pokemon. Get a similar vibe to Sun/Moon with it that it’s kind of unfinished- lots of small (and some not so small) parts of the game just feel like there were bigger plans that couldn’t be realised in time. I’m still enjoying it! They did a great job of making the gym battles, and the whole process of 8-badges-then-champion, feel like a spectacle. I think only the anime has managed it to this degree before. - Earthbound Man, I really, really want to like this game, but the battle system is terrible. I need to play through the game again buffing my party up with cheats or something, because it’s so unbalanced and cheap. Everything else about the game is wonderful, but I got so frustrated with the fights! - Mario Kart 8 Didn’t play any of the single player this time, it was midgi’s christmas present so I just joined a couple of multiplayer games. Absolutely baffled that the game features F-Zero style anti-gravity courses, has Mute City and Big Blue, and even has the Blue Falcon as a selectable vehicle, but they haven’t put Captain Falcon in it. Like he’s ever going to get another game of his own? Let him have this! - Carmageddon 2 It’s pretty clunky by now, being 20 years old, but still plays well enough. The physics are super loose so you slide around like your tires have been buttered. It was more fun when they were zombies instead of just normal people. Missions are brutally hard and should be skipped with cheats. - Neopets After 15 years of playing, I finally got a Ghostkersword. The site as a whole has gone through a lot, and certainly its heyday is long gone, but there’s no other game quite like it. I’m playing the Food Club every day, still. - SIF New phone can’t run the actual gameplay section well enough, so I just log in occasionally to grab free scouts. Here’s another one whose golden years are behind it, sadly, but I certainly still have a lot of affection for SIF. - FF1 Mobile version, which fixes a lot of the bugs with the NES original. This year I completed a solo run with 1 Red Mage, a 4-black belts run, a low-level run, and a 4 White Mages run (which ended up being a lower-level run than the low-level run). I’m fairly comfortable in calling myself an expert in FF1, now. There’s still not really any other games like it- build a party as balanced or imbalanced as you like, and see how they fare. I’d like to build my own game in a similar style, one day. - Re: Live Gacha games and RPG just don’t mix! Both gacha and events do not gel with core RPG mechanics of your character(s) developing in strength as the game goes. It seems impossible to balance the game well- do you cater to the whales who spend and spend until they have the strongest teams possible, meaning the free players or the terminally unlucky can’t stand a chance, or do you cater to those players and give them no reason to spend for the more powerful characters? It’s a shame, because the anime was baffling but in that enjoyable way where you just kind of go with whatever it throws at you, and exploring that in a non-freemium game with a solid beginning middle and end would be really interesting. - Tiny Thief Mobile game that’s not available any more, I think my BBLC post covered it well enough. - F-Zero One of the criticisms most commonly levied against F-Zero is that it wont hold your attention for long. While that’s true, it’s not like you have to make a purchasing decision about it any more- it comes bundled in with the other games you’re buying, so the only investment is time. Ignoring that, it’s still fun to burn around the tracks, and the sense of speed hasn’t ever diminished. The music, too, is underappreciated, with Port Town being my personal fave. - F-Zero GX I can’t believe Nintendo hasn’t done anything with this ridiculous universe for 15 years now. The cutscenes are so hilariously overwrought, and the cast of characters is huge! It could so seamlessly intersect with the Starfox universe, too. There were rumours of a Starfox Racing title some time ago, and I really hope that’s the case. It’d work so well (by which I mean, a particularly enjoyable kind of awful). Anyway, the game still plays great, Story Mode is WAY too hard, Dr Stewart’s theme is a Tune. - Stratosphere This game is from 1998! Build a flying fortress, deck it out with fortifications and weapons and power supplies, then use it to destroy other fortresses. I only ever played the demo as a kid, never got the full game. Took some cajoling to get it to work on modern hardware, but eventually I got in and it wasn’t worth it at all. Wow, that performance, apparently it was designed to run at a terrible frame rate and it wasn’t just a result of my 1998 PC not being up to the task! A shame, but I guess it put one of my ghosts to rest. - DKC 2 The best of the three SNES games, despite the inclusion (and protagonism) of Diddy Kong. Lots to love here, but the OST is top notch. - DKC 3 Not as good as 2, but IMO better than 1. There was a much heavier emphasis on gimmick levels in 3, not all of which hit their target, but does provide a great deal of variety. Consensus is that 2 is better, but if someone claimed 3 was the best DKC, I’d let them get away with it. - King Arthur’s World (SNES) Speaking of putting ghosts to rest… We somehow always managed to get this game whenever we got a SNES, and kid!Beebs most certainly didn’t have the patience for it. Adult!Beebs barely does, either. It’s a very ambitious attempt at some sort of RTS/Puzzle hybrid, somewhat comparable to Lemmings? King Arthur must make his way from his starting position to the throne elsewhere in the map to claim it as his own, using the myriad abilities of his soldiers to get him there in one piece. I decided this year that I was finally going to play through the whole damn thing, start to finish, for the first time ever. With copious use of save states and rewinds, I was finally able to slay this demon. For as fiddly and frustrating as it is, I would still say people should check it out if they have the tools to do so- there’s not really anything else like it, on SNES or otherwise; you’re guaranteed a unique experience, if nothing else. - Oscar (SNES) Terrible. - Spanky’s Quest (SNES) With a name like that, how could I refuse? It’s a weird little puzzler, aping (wahey!) Bubble Bobble and Parasol Stars a little. You’re a monkey who can blow bubbles that stun enemies, but if you bounce the bubble on your head it gets progressively larger and can be burst to send a barrage of similarly-sized sports balls at your opponents to knock them out. You know, just like real life. - Addam’s Family (SNES) This easily-dismissible movie tie-in is actually a very competent platformer with some very, very light metroidvania exploration involved. Gomez has to go through Addams Mansion and rescue the members of his family who have been kidnapped by… something. There’s hidden secrets everywhere and the family can be rescued in any order you like. Genuine recommendation. - Panel DePon/Tetris Attack The only vs puzzler I enjoy (yep. Not even puyo puyo. I know.) I played the HECK out of this in my teenage years, and got crazy good at it. Tendonitis says I’m not allowed to do that any more, but once I shook the rust off I was still pretty strong! It was released as Panel DePon in Japan and was fairy themed, but for the western release they replaced all the fairies with Yoshi characters and renamed it Tetris Attack despite having nothing to do with Tetris at all. Up to you which you prefer- language isn't too much of a barrier here. Soundtrack is killer. - Subsurface Circular Finished it before my BBLC post. Still not decided if I liked the way it ended. - Master Of Orion 2 C’mon. After playing three other pretenders to MoO2’s throne, I had to give the real deal a couple of spins too. It’s Civ 5 in space. Customisable race builds. A whole galaxy to bring peace to, by whichever means you prefer. Would love for someone else to get into it. - Touhou 8 Last minute entry I just played yesterday ‘cos I wanted some Touhou and I haven’t played this entry in a long while. A Solo Marisa Normal Final B run, if you’re interested. Kaguya beast-mode tearing apart the Spell Of Imperishable Night at the end of the game is still an awesome moment, but it’s a shame you can miss the last couple of spells if you take some unlucky hits. - And here’s the list of Bins, which are all covered in their BBLC post: No Time To Explain MoO Skyborn Jumpjet Rex StH 4 Ballistick Munch’s Oddysee Outland Project CARS RiME Magicka Waking Mars Urban Chaos Divinity: Dragon Commander Strike Suit Zero Hell Yeah! Lambda Wars Beta Stranger’s Wrath MoO 3 XCOM Lots more Fins than Bins this year! Good to see!

[intheuthanhbinh]

Korean language Girls Have Many Qualities

The Woods of Life and The Tree of Knowledge and Malignant mentioned in the Book of Genesis are actually referring to knowing what is awful from precisely what is wrong. I was confused, disappointed, and disappointed. They absolutely adore alcohol and party.

Green Peril, Stereotypes, Ads, And Hope For The near future

Dreams from an early age of the fairytale wedding ceremony regularly centre upon getting the ideally suited dress. Potentially then it was no surprise to anyone when some years later, I was again thrilled by the testimonies of adventure and ideals of patriotism a further man in uniform brought into my life. Nevertheless despite my personal initial fascination with the military, when a relationship license and a Budget Pick up truck found me personally halfway across the nation as a fresh bride of Uncle Sam, I used to be less than charmed. Also, my husband nonetheless looked just like handsome in his high and small and Gown Blues, and I was still feeling blissful regarding being a newlywed, however it did not take very long until Choice the Maritime Corps and I were just not going to go along.

I have simply no drawback stating this. Southern Korean women are probably a number of the most shallow persons I have referred to and satisfied. You would quite possibly assume that Americans can be extra obsessed with external magnificence and material Korean Girls prosperity since it’s the most richest nation. Koreans usually takes the American shallowness (is that a term? ) to a new degree. We am talking primarily about Koreans FROM South Korea who have grew up in South Korea. Sure I just am generalizing, NOT ALL SOUTHERN KOREAN WOMEN OF ALL AGES ARE LIKE THIS KIND OF.

When applying, you need to write information about your self, some standards that would express you as a person. Korean girls as well furnish information about themselves before enrollment. But in addition for this, they pass a emotional test, which will show the genuine intentions with the girls and also provide identification documents. So Korean language mail-order brides’ profiles happen to be real.

Simple https://findmailorderbride.com/korean-brides/ and shiny scalp. Sizzling hot Southern Korean terminology girls connect a great time period for your frizzy hair. It must have a look best. Curiously, hair that is naturally ugly is not considered gorgeous, but curls which might be designed are among the list of nice advantages of Korean magnificence. Small facial region and little head, unneeded round serenidad, V-shaped, brief, nevertheless scarcely aimed chin is normally standard Korean check.

I love this webpage. We beleive it assists a lot of people in needs around the world. I was an cookware single female. Currently dating an igbo man in my house land. He persue his master level in my country. He is hitched and got partner back home. This individual proposed myself to marry him. Sad to say his wife cannot provided birth as a result of age factors. We have meet up with once and stay having lots of fun mutually. In fact you’re both completely happy in a way that we cheerish the other person so well. We have come to a conclusion that something should be done. With both party contract. I was a lady and i also can simply understand his partner feelings as good. I dont like to be treated this sort of and i dont beleive in divorcee also. I are willing to end up being the second better half, whom are living in foreign land and be having my family ere, i can simply visit his homeland regularly. And i beleive i can have the ability to take it that way. I really like him and still have faith inside our relationship. Please guys i just need some type here. Could god assist.

Part two Biblical Origin Of Far east People

Couples in the United States think of white wedding dresses as “traditional, ” but the white wedding dress is actually a fairly recent personalized. There are also great Filipina women who know their families are taking advantage of her (their daughter) married into a “rich” American (the common mindset there may be that we’re all rich) yet she will be sure to let them do so because she has recently been engrained as birth to feel responsible to her main if your woman doesn’t support support these people at anything level they tell her is appropriate. We have a friend with that difficulty and the woman just can’t let herself find that her mom is a greedy bitch getting back together stories to get additional money delivered to her to get wasting and Papa’s and brother’s alcoholic beverages – perhaps even use the same lame report more than once. Our friend and her man argue regarding it regularly yet he delivers a reasonable amount and will not send precisely what is requested because he understands what’s going on. Your sweetheart cries a whole lot because of getting torn among allegiance to them and also to her partner.

For a solitary factor, females are actually great at Englishand additionally allowing them match along witheveryone. Pretty Korean language girls consider that if you wish to always keep a members of the family you should listen to guys and because of this they very commonly compromise. If you respect and adore your spouse, she will undoubtedly turn out to be your best wife also, you will favorably never ever would want to depart her.

They blazed through a 114-page basics-of-Korea book. Nguyen explained so why young people should sit in priority seating on the Seoul subway. She told them that new Korean language mothers take in seaweed soup, high in nutrients. And the girl said Korean language wives generally, always condicion on their granparents.

They have limited schedules. It’s the WORST place for women to work (in comparison to first-world countries), and if you reside in this region, your Korean language bride probably will spend 52 hours every week on function (which is far more than 20 hours a day). Certainly feel depressed at times, and you’ll have to deal with it.

Korean language brides are not slaves, nor could they be the women that will want being leaders inside your family. Korean women will be in the middle, making them very interesting and mystical for men by various other countries. Unusual not only in appearance but likewise in other features make them unique brides.

Is he intelligent? If yes, as to what level because sometimes it things. Even if I are not looking to mean that non-educated people are not-marriageable, of course I will be a liar to state that because many extremely educated couples today will be filing with regards to divorce upon daily basis all over the world.

Chinese suppliers has the major varieties of racial types on the globe. You can find Black and Negroid type of races within China and tiawan coexisting with the dominant Mongoloid people. In the beginning ancient China and tiawan was a burning pot of diverse competitions migrated from outside. This is the reason early Oriental people referred to as their area “Middle Kingdom”, the center land of the world.

Russian wedding ceremonies entail extensive pre-planning and preparations. Several exchanges are very essential the purpose of the Korean thoughts marriage: items of home products (Honsu); positions of outfits and jewelry regarding the marriage ceremony couple (Yemul); items directed at the significant relatives when using the soon-to-be partner (Yedan); gifts of money over the groom’s family and others affiliate to the star within the marriage (Ggoomimbi), and through the bride’s label the groom’s close friends (Ham); and exchanges of food products and wine beverages relating to the two family members (Ibaji).

Traditions require kids to expand up in a great atmosphere of love and patience. Consequently , Korean spouses are stressed about rearing children and creating a good family atmosphere. Demonstrate the qualities of an future supportive and care father and stay sure that this will substantially increase your likelihood of being well-liked by a Korean male order bride.

Naturally , like all of the girls around the world, Korean females really like presents. And in addition listed here, i think, the industry of genius is merely large. Althoughit is certainly worthremembering not all Koreans love big parties or perhaps ceremonies the standard small gifts, whether those are in reality flower padding, ice cream, or even packed playthings, will definitely always be actually significantly enjoyed. To obtain a mail purchase korean wedding brides lady to like you, you perform not really require to become a muscular creature, you only have to be conscientious as well as caring.

Courting Korean Females

For a traditional bride who desires an Oriental wedding dress it can be a daunting process to find 1; you may have to order online and then find a seamstress to finish that to your personal specifications. But you, Mr. Delancey, have no clue about these stuff of the spiritual side of life mainly because you are far outside the kingdom of Goodness – stuffed with bitterness and hatred in case you have happiness and success is obviously. And every period you write a pile of crap as if you posted in this article to damage people, you take yourself one more step away from that kingdom.

A year before her entry in to Korean governmental policies, Yi Jasŭmin played the role of the Filipina mother of a biracial youth in the film Wandǔgi (2011, euch. Yi Han), based on a bestselling story with the same title by simply Kim Ryŏryŏng. In the film, a young ones named Wandǔgi is overdue and seems to have no potentials for his life. Wandǔgi, his humpbacked father, great adopted uncle, who has a developmental handicap, live in a poverty-stricken area inhabited by many migrant individuals from Southeast Asia and South Asia. Wandǔgi does not have any memory of his Filipina mother as she remaining him if he was still an infant. The disappearance of Wandǔgi’s mother is due to his dad’s decision to “let her go” because he could not tolerate the discrimination his better half faced. Wandǔgi, however , has the capacity to meet her through his teacher’s help. After spending some difficult time going to terms with her quick re-appearance, Wandǔgi and his family members decide to live together again.

If you choose to match the perfect Korean bride, then you can do it incredibly easily because you just have to adhere to some dating restrictions. You possess the unique possibility to obtain familiarized withthe very best Korean language female and utilize the best present day method to do this. Korean women are in reality really modern day and possess no problem generating a merchant account on one with their international outdating websites. Korean females own good usages as well as this can be a lot better for them to conform witha man online than to seek him where it happens to be unfamiliar. The bridegrooms in the same way make an effort to conserve their chance and look to internet dating. Korean Dating online has its own benefits, presented you decide on the very best matrimonial company. Below you can easily learn the main benefits of these kinds of global dating websites.

Regrettably, most of the aforementioned class of Nigerians would rather prefer to go back home to check out a wife, you know how come? Because the cultural and traditional ideals are different, better and as such, facilitates marriage better. For instance, when a typical Nigerian couple is certainly going through relationship crises, they would frequently hardly ever throw in the towel like it is generally done in the western countries. Remember, marriage in Nigeria can be described as union of two families- the mans and the women’s family, and therefore the households would step in in cases where things are getting out of hand they usually would perform whatever they can to settle the matter amicably within the family level. Nigerians typically, have undeniable respect for his or her parents and would hear and pay attention to them at any point in time.

There are a few of my brother’s friends which are single, never been wedded before, which were born in the uk, grew up in the uk but yet these men ended up exploring back home to watch out for wives and yes certainly, they hitched these Nigerian women being a first option and these types of Nigerian females are well lifted. And right now there husbands helped bring them back to England, not like most Nigeria men which will marry a Nigerian females and keep them back home like a second option just in case the bright white wives disappoints them. Thank you JESUS that any of us still have black men that wont have at this time there own girls as a second option.

Tham khảo bài viết gốc tại: Korean language Girls Have Many Qualities

source https://intheuthanhbinh.com/korean-language-girls-have-many-qualities/

[hopefulfestivaltastemaker]

June 14, 2020

My weekly blog post. Topics include Nikola’s hydrogen trucking, returns to civilization scale, progress urbanism, the rhetoric of crisis, and woke culture in the Bay Area.

Nikola and Hydrogen Trucking

Last week the well-hyped trucking company Nikola had their IPO. As of Tuesday, the company was valued at $26 billion despite not having pulled any revenue yet.

I have long been a skeptic of hydrogen for transportation but have been gradually revising my views in a more bullish direction. The release of the Toyota Mirai is another event that surprised me, showing that hydrogen was at least technologically ready for the mass market in a way that I hadn’t expected.

As a transportation fuel, hydrogen suffers from several major drawbacks. It is much less efficient than battery electric vehicles. Fuel cells are expensive (moreso than lithium ion batteries). Hydrogen presents all sorts of logistical challenges, which are much easier with electricity and hydrocarbon fuels. The main advantage of hydrogen over electricity is range, but for passenger cars that is becoming less relevant.

Over the road trucking is another matter, and it is unclear if battery electric trucks will ever be feasible. Hence hydrogen emerges as a plausible low emission alternative to diesel trucking.

I do try to pay attention to market conditions and take them into account in my own analysis. Investors can be wrong, of course, and it is impossible for anyone, including investors, to forecast technology trends with great precision. But Nikola’s valuation represents a kind of collective wisdom that should be paid attention to.

I will now go back to wondering why dimethyl ether hasn’t taken off.

Returns to Civilization Scale

Last summer, I spent two weeks at the Santa Fe Institute. I have long been interested in SFI’s work, especially the scaling work of Geoffrey West and Luis Bettencort and how it applies to cities. Indeed, Bettencort’s The Origin of Scaling in Cities is one of my most important influences in how I think about the topic.

While at SFI, I drafted a survey of how the urban scaling laws might apply to world civilization as a whole. At the time I did not attract much interest from SFI staff or other program participants. I link it here, without a clear sense of what I am hoping to find from doing so. There are a number of points that I might discuss further at a later time. Several points in the paper have not aged well or otherwise no longer reflect my current thinking, but I am posting it in its form as of last August.

I don’t claim the paper is well-written, but I do think it raises some important and under-explored questions. Unfortunately the project stalled out last summer and I have been uncertain whether and how to move it forward.

Progress Urbanism

Last week, I posed a question in the Progress Studies Slack group about whether there could be such a thing as progress urbanism, and if so, what it might look like. My basic premise was understanding and designing cities as engines of progress.

One reply was this.

I’m interested in understanding what factors contributing to urban progress can be decoupled from cities. That could be critical in fostering progress in other environments, like rural areas, online communities, or even space colonies.

I found it quite interesting. It hints at an understanding of urbanism (which may no longer be the right word) that takes as the defining characteristic the interpersonal interaction that it fosters and abstracts out the rest. Under this conception, a city is a physical manifestation of the urban process, and there are potentially many other manifestations.

The Politics of Crisis

Palladium Magazine ran a piece this week on the political rhetoric of crisis. Like most Palladium articles, it is worth a read.

A few years ago, there was apparently a collective decision among climate activists that, henceforth, climate change was to be referred to as “the climate crisis”, or some other comparably dramatic term such as climate emergency or climate catastrophe. Even though I consider climate change to be a serious issue that demands a serious response, I have avoided the change in terminology.

The word “crisis” is meant to connote a state of affairs that is far enough outside of normal operating conditions as to call for a suspension of ordinary ways of doing politics and business. In the case of environmental politics, the ordinary way is to build coalitions around solutions that fit into the current socioeconomic milieu, such as carbon pricing, clean energy R&D, energy efficiency standards, and so forth.

“Climate crisis” is the favored phrasing among a cluster of activists who see the proper response as to overturn the current socioeconomic milieu and replace it with a highly socialized system that greatly restricts individual consumption. Such changes are to be accompanied with equally dramatic rearrangements in the distribution of wealth and race and gender relations.

I suppose I am fundamentally conservative in the sense that I see the current system as working reasonably well, and where it is not, the proper response being reform rather than revolution. One could accuse me of small-bore thinking. I prefer to think of it as remaining grounded in reality.

Woke Culture: What is Happening?

The last few weeks have, among many other things, brought a spotlight on what, for lack of a better term, can be called “wokism” and its destructive effects on national discourse. I have neither the ability nor the inclination to keep up with everything that is happening. Just two recent examples of things I observed are Matt Taibbi’s review of “newsroom revolts” and other institutional purges, and Sam Harris’s recent podcast attempting to bring some reality-based thinking into discussions of policing and criminal justice. Both come from points left of center politically and expose a growing fissure between the hard activist left and the old guard left with its traditional commitment to open discourse.

I have never had a position of great influence or any formal training in political science, but I did spend two years (2016-18) in the Bay Area hanging around the periphery of the nation’s social elite, such as it is, and one thing I would like to do someday, before it recedes too far into the past, is write a detailed account of my experiences there. Part of what has held me back is that my experience was not generally good, and it would be difficult to present a complete and honest account without burning some bridges that I would like to remain standing. Still, the experience was important in shaping how I see the world now. And I think that more ordinary person observations of a situation can shed some light into aspects of a culture that professional pundits and academics will fail to see.

Anyway, I have seen quite a few commentaries likening today’s social justice drama to McCarthyism, the Maoist Cultural Revolution, or the Reign of Terror. These comparisons have some merit, reinforced by numerous stories circulating on social media of academics and other professionals being forced out of their jobs for alleged wrongthink, but much like images of police brutality, they tell a highly skewed story at best. If anything, Versailles court etiquette is a more appropriate historical analogy.

Among what Richard Florida terms the “creative class”--people in media, arts, politics, software, academia, etc.--in the Bay Area, insecurity is a defining aspect of life. Rents are a major financial burden, home ownership or raising a family is out of the question for most young people, job security is rare, and most business relationships are strictly transactional. There is a culture of near perpetual side hustling and job networking, because you know the current job won’t last long and even if it does, it will not offer a path toward advancement.

Wokism enters this milieu as a set of rules for social protocol and status competition, and it serves several important functions. In an environment where social standing is a scarce good for which there is fierce competition, commitment to social justice doctrine is a price of admission into polite society, not unlike the way a college degree is required for professions that will never use the knowledge learned in college.

The conception of the social justice warrior as a fanatic is large wrong. The social justice warrior is a striver, fighting in a highly competitive environment for the status needed for tenure, a promotion, invitation to the right parties, etc. The state of affairs could perhaps be likened to an intellectual Malthusian catastrophe among an overcredentialed population.

As will be obvious to anyone with passing familiarity of urban progressive politics, the ubiquity of social justice doctrine does not translate in any meaningful way into policy. Yes, Bay Area cities have their diversity, equity, and inclusion boards, proclamations, and so forth. But the make no progress toward reducing poverty and homelessness, and the ordinary business of municipal government--passing out goodies to homeowners, unions, and legacy businesses--continues unimpeded. The paranoia of some commentators in conservative media, that the Democratic Party is radicalized and will implement some grand socialist vision if elected, is laughable to anyone who has seen it govern up close.

One of these days, I would like to fill in the story with some names and dates. We’ll see if that ever happens.

[bisiji3]

【筆記】佛教是什麼

How to Preserve Social Values

What is Buddhism?(Part I.) Translated by Silent Voices

Anchor ：

Hello everybody! Many people deeply feel that in today’s society, as life becomes more materialistic, the more empty we feel inside and the more isolated we are from others. This is why so many people try to find spiritual refuge in religion. Many people are interested in Buddhism, but due to their lack of the proper understanding of Buddhism they do not get the result they expect; instead they go astray. Today, we are honored to have Venerable Master Chin Kung on our program to talk to us about the true meaning of Buddhism so that we can have a correct understanding of the original form of Buddhism. The Master first learned philosophy from Mr. Fang Dongmei. Then he studied Buddhism with Zhangjia Living Buddha and with Mr. Li Bingnan. He started learning Buddhism at age 26 and became a monk at 32. He has been lecturing on the Dharma for over 40 years, and he has lectured around the world. The Master’s Dharma talks have been well received, particularly in Singapore, the United States, Malaysia, and China. The Master is conversant with the teachings of all Buddhist schools. His talks are easy to understand and suit the level of each audience. He has mastered the art of lecturing. In recent years, he has been focusing on practicing and propagating Pure Land teachings, and promoting the establishment of learning centers for the propagation and cultivation of Pure Land teachings. Hello, Master Chin Kung.

Master Chin Kung：Hello.

Anchor ：First, I would like to ask you what exactly is Buddhism? Is it a religion? How is it different from other religions?

Master Chin Kung：

The answer to this question is very long. When Sakyamuni Buddha was alive, his life was very similar to that of the Chinese philosopher, Confucius. The difference was that Confucius wanted a governmental post so that he could put his knowledge into practice, whereas the Buddha was born a prince but choose to leave his throne to devote himself to teaching. Clearly, education is a major issue for any country or society. In one of the Chinese classics, the _Book of Rites_, it is stated “Education is essential in building a country and in guiding its people.” In establishing a regime and leading a country, the most important factor is education. Therefore, Confucius devoted his life to teaching. He became a great educator. Similarity, the Buddha was also a great educator. Buddhism is a teaching, not a religion. This is an obvious fact, something we can see from the titles used in the Buddhist community. For example, we call the Buddha our “Original Teacher.” Original Teacher is the founder, he is the founding teacher. We usually address a monk as _Khotan_. Khotan is a Sanskrit word that means personal mentor. That is, the Khotan acts as a personal mentor to a practitioner. A Khotan is not necessarily a monastic; a Khotan could be a layperson who teaches us. For instance, it is widely known that I studied Buddhism with Mr. Li Bingnan for ten years. He was a lay practitioner; to me, he was my Khotan. I called him Khotan because he personally taught me. From this, we can see that Khotan is a title that can be given to anyone regardless of age or gender, monastic or layperson. “Dharma master” is also a general title. Bhiksu, Bhiksuni, Sramanera, and Sramanerika are titles for monastics. This is common knowledge. So you are saying that a Khotan does not have to be a monastic.

Master Chin Kung：Yes.

Anchor ：A lay practitioner can also be called a Khotan or a personal mentor.

Master Chin Kung：Yes. Khotan is the title that a student uses to address his mentor.

Anchor ：Is that a respectful title for a student to address his teacher?

Master Chin Kung：

Yes, it is a respectful title. A Khotan is similar to a supervising professor at a university who personally guides a student. If a monk does not personally teach us, we usually address him as Dharma master, not Khotan.

Anchor ：Then calling someone Khotan denotes a very close relationship.

Master Chin Kung：Yes, a very close relationship.

Anchor ：

Master, you said that Buddhism is not a religion but a teaching. If it is a teaching, then what does it teach? And what is the objective of its teaching?

Master Chin Kung：

The scope of Buddhism is very extensive and broad. We already consider Confucian teaching to be very extensive. It ranges from prenatal influences to the veneration of ancestors. Thus, it is a complete teaching that covers all aspects of one’s life. But the Buddha’s teaching is even broader than Confucianism. The Dharma covers the past and future lives of all sentient beings. The past has no beginning, and the future has no end. Time is without boundary. As for space, Buddhism acknowledges the universe is very vast; it is not just this earth or a galaxy. The Buddha often said in the sutras that, in the universe, the number of planets and galaxies like ours is infinite. Therefore, what the Buddha taught covers the whole universe. The Buddha told us that our knowledge and wisdom should contain a thorough understanding of the whole universe. Not only should we know the present but we should also be clear about the past and the future. Can we achieve this? In particular, can we understand the past and the future? The Buddha said that we can. Why? Because this ability is innate within us; it is not something that we get from without. We need to be clear about the origin of all lives in this universe. The Buddha told us that everything is manifested from our true nature. So, the focus of his teaching was to see one’s true nature, as taught in Zen. Achieving this, you will naturally understand all the principles and phenomena. Therefore, seeing one’s true nature is the focus of the Buddhist practice. Be it sutra-study or Zen schools, Exoteric or Esoteric teachings, seeing one’s true nature is the focus of Mahayana Buddhism. Although each school uses different terminology, these terms refer to the same thing. For example, the Zen school calls it _seeing one’s true nature_. The sutra-study schools call it _perfect understanding_. The Esoteric school calls it the Three Mysteries in Unity. The Pure Land school calls it One Mind Undisturbed. These terms are different, but they all refer to the same thing. This is the focus of the Buddha’s teaching.

Anchor ：

Yes. My next question is, is it true that there are traditional, religious, academic, and unorthodox forms of Buddhism? Are there such classifications?

Master Chin Kung：

These forms of Buddhism came about not long ago. Traditional Buddhism is a teaching. Sakyamuni Buddha founded Buddhism. It was introduced into China about a thousand years later. According to official records, it was during the 10

th

year of Emperor Ming’s reign of the Later Han dynasty, or 67 CE, that the Chinese imperial court formally invited [Buddhist monks] to China. When they came to China, they brought images of the Buddha as well as sutras with them. After the government and the people of China were introduced to Buddhism, they found it to be the right teaching for their needs and thus gladly welcomed it. It is because Confucianism and this teaching share the same basis. Traditional Chinese teaching is based on filial piety, and so is the Buddha’s teaching. Both share many fundamental values. While Confucianism focuses on principles, Buddhism is very thorough and detailed. It complements both Confucianism and Taoism. That is why the government and people of China warmly welcomed it. Thus, Buddhism took root in China. The way it grew, flourished, and bore fruit in China far surpassed the way it did in India. Today, we call it traditional teaching. By the Tang dynasty, it had become a formal education taught in a _conglin_. A conglin, which is equivalent to today’s university, is where Buddhism was taught in a systematized way. Therefore, the conglin is a distinctive feature of Chinese Buddhism. That is, Chinese Buddhist universities were formally established. The organization of a conglin is the same as that of a university. An abbot is the equivalent of a university dean. A _shouzuo_ is the equivalent of a dean of studies. A _weinuo_ is the equivalent of a dean of discipline. A _jianyuan_ is the equivalent of a dean of general affairs. The responsibilities are the same as those in today’s schools; only the titles are different. The nature of these responsibilities is the same. Therefore, a conglin is a complete academic institute and has nothing to do with _zongjiao_, or religion. We see the word zongjiao in the sutras and writings. This term, zongjiao, exists in Buddhism, but it is different from today’s understanding of its meaning as religion.

Zong in Buddhism refers to the Zen school. The various Buddhist schools are like departments in a college. There are ten Buddhists schools, or ten departments. All schools other than the Zen school are called Jiao. Therefore, the word zongjiao refers to all of Buddhism. This is the meaning of zongjiao in Buddhism, different from its meaning as religion in today’s usage.

Anchor：

Today, [In Asia] people often link Buddhism with some forms of superstition. Would Master be kind enough to clarify this misunderstanding?

Master Chin Kung：

The aim of Buddhism is to end delusion and attain enlightenment so that people can leave suffering behind and attain happiness. The Buddha said that all beings suffer. We have many, many sufferings. Where do these sufferings come from? From delusion! What delusion? Our delusion of the truth of life and the universe. The universe refers to our living environment, and life to ourselves. In other words, you are deluded about yourself and about the reality of your environment. Hence, your thoughts and views are erroneous. Erroneous thoughts and views result in wrongdoings. Wrongdoings will bring about retributions, retributions that you must face. The retributions are not inflicted by others, but are caused by yourself. If we want to leave suffering and attain happiness, we must end delusion and attain enlightenment. We must truly know ourselves and our living environment, and then we can completely solve our problems.

Anchor：

Yes. Of course, it is very, very difficult to reach this state. Master, you just said that Buddhism is actually a teaching. It is the same as a formal education system and has departments of discipline, administration, and general affairs. If a person wants to learn Buddhism, where should he start?

Master Chin Kung：

The starting point of learning Buddhism is exactly the same as that of receiving the ancient Chinese teaching. One must start by following a good teacher. In Buddhism, we learn from a good spiritual teacher. The Buddha clearly told us in the sutras that if one wants to learn Buddhism and to receive the Buddha’s teaching, one must follow a good teacher. This teacher does not have to be well known, but he must be truly virtuous and learned. Then, you will really learn the Buddha’s teaching through him.

Anchor：

When you say follow a good teacher; is it the same as talking refuge? Are those two related?

Master Chin Kung：

They are not exactly related. Taking refuge is a necessary step in learning Buddhism. In taking refuge, we must follow a good teacher who will teach us the general guidelines and principles of learning and practicing Buddhism. This is called “taking refuge.” Taking refuge means “returning to and relying upon.” How do we return? We have been deluded and have held erroneous views. We have been heavily polluted, both physically and mentally. Taking refuge teaches us to turn away from delusion. And to rely on our awakened state of mind; to turn away from erroneous views and rely on proper understanding; and to turn away from all pollutions and to rely on the pure mind. Taking refuge is the basic requirement of learning Buddhism. One must turn away from delusion, wrong views, and a polluted mind. They are us. And rely on awakening, proper views, and the pure mind. They are also us. So taking true refuge is taking refuge in the Three Jewels of True Nature: awakening, proper understanding, and purity of mind.

Anchor：

Also, many people are confused about this. Should they take refuge with and follow one Dharma master? Or should they take refuge with as many Dharma masters as possible?

Master Chin Kung：

This is a misconception. It is completely wrong. You do not take refuge with one or many Dharma masters. In conferring the refuge, the Dharma master simply teaches the general guidelines and principles of learning Buddhism. So you take refuge in the Three Jewels of True Nature, not in other people. You do not even take refuge in Sakyamuni Buddha. It is very wrong to say, “I take refuge in Sakyamuni Buddha.” There is no such thing. The Buddha did not tell others to take refuge in him. He did not say this. Instead, he taught that one should take refuge in one’s innate awakened state. “Awakening” is the Jewel of Buddha. The word Buddha means “awakening.” Taking refuge in the Buddha means to rely on awakening. Simply put, your behavior should be based on rationality, not emotions. Rationality is awakening, and emotions are delusion. Taking refuge in the Buddha teaches you to be rational and not be impetuous in your interactions with people and handling of matters. This is true refuge. How does a person’s rationality or emotions relate to [taking refuge in] the Buddha? Or to Dharma masters? There is no connection! It is definitely wrong to say that you take refuge in a certain person. When conferring the Three Refuges on you, this Dharma master represents the Sangha. You take refuge in the entire Sangha, and every Dharma master in the Sangha is your teacher, not just one particular individual. Knowing this, you will be broad-minded and be able to break through your discriminations, and attachments. And therefore gain true benefits. However, a beginner must learn Buddhism from [only] one teacher. If you learn from one teacher, you walk one path. Two teachers mean you will have two different paths, and you will be confused. With three teachers, it is like a three-way junction, and you will not know which way to go. Therefore, Confucianism and Buddhism teach that one should follow only one teacher in the beginning. When can you learn from many teachers? When your wisdom is uncovered. That is, when you have the ability to tell true from false, right from wrong, and good from bad. Then your teacher will be delighted. When you uncover wisdom, your teacher will allow you to learn from other teachers to extend and broaden your knowledge. But if you do not have this ability to judge right from wrong, you will be confused when you try to learn from many teachers because you do not know whom you should listen to. During this time, your teacher will shield you from other teachings to help you to nurture this ability. It is the teacher’s responsibility and obligation. We know that the scope of Buddhism is very broad and extensive.

Anchor：

Would you explain to us the subjects we learn in Buddhism?

Master Chin Kung：

The Buddha’s teaching is divided into five stages. Like secular education, it progresses from the easy to the difficult. According to the sutras, the Buddha’s earliest teaching was the _Avatamsaka Sutra_, which he taught while in meditation. Attendees of this assembly were all great bodhisattvas, not ordinary people. In this assembly, the Buddha revealed the entire reality of life and the universe. The content is, of course, very broad and extensive. It was not until 600 years after the Buddha passed away that Nagarjuna Bodhisattva saw the complete set of the Avatamsaka Sutra at the dragon king’s palace. This complete version was incredibly voluminous. When Nagarjuna saw it, he knew that ordinary people could not comprehend it because it was so voluminous. He saw the complete version, the abridged version, and then the summary. Because the complete sutra is so voluminous, there is an abridged version. However, as the abridged version is still very long, there is a summary of the abridged version. When Nagarjuna saw the simplest version, the summary, he thought that ordinary people could study and understand it, so he brought the summary back to this world. This was the version that was introduced to China, where it was translated into Chinese. This is the version of the _Avatamsaka Sutra_ we see today. Frankly speaking, it is only a summary. Take the Chinese classic _Siku Quanshu_ as an example. [With over 1500 volumes,] the _Siku Quanshu_is extensive. But _Siku’s_ list of books with a brief summary of each book is much shorter. The _Avatamsaka Sutra_ we see today is like this list and the book summaries of the _Siku_ as compared to the entire collection of the _Siku_. The _Avatamsaka Sutra_ is only a summary, not the complete sutra. And even this[Chinese] summary is not complete; it is only half of the original complete version. It is very unfortunate that the other half is lost. The original Sanskrit text cannot be found. Now, the most complete _Avatamsaka Sutra_ is the Chinese version. So it is invaluable. After the Buddha came out of meditation, that is, after he revealed the entire enlightened state he had attained, he adapted his teaching to the level of understanding of those he met. He taught the Agamas, which is akin to a primary school education. The teaching in the Vaipulya period is akin to secondary school education. Then it was the Prajna [Wisdom] period, the teaching of which is akin to a college education. The Prajna period lasted twenty-two years, the longest period. We know that the Buddha spent forty-nine years of his life teaching. Of the forty-nine years, he spent twenty-two years teaching the wisdom sutras. Therefore, we know that Prajna is the focus of the Buddha’s teachings. Prajna is his main teaching. In the Chinese Buddhist Canon, the 600-fascicle _Wisdom Sutra_ is the most voluminous. Finally, the eight-year Nirvana period—graduate education—was a return to the level of the _Avatamsaka Sutra_. We can see that there are stages in the Buddha’s teaching, and that he used many expedient ways to teach.

Anchor：

Master, we know that in learning Buddhism, there are five major guidelines: the Three Conditions, the Six Harmonies, the Threefold Learning, the Six Perfections, and the Ten Great Vows. We are not too clear about them. Would you please explain each of them to us?

Master Chin Kung：

These guidelines are for individual practice. We were saying that the Buddha’s teaching is divided into five stages, and at each stage, the sutras he spoke were all rich in content. As to individual practice, the Buddha gave us very clear instructions. Where do we start? We start from the Three Conditions, which are stated in the _Visualization Sutra_. They are very important and coincidentally agree with Confucian teaching. Practicing the First Condition results in the good fortune of humans and deities. In other words, if you want to become a Buddha or a Bodhisattva… By the way, you must understand that becoming a Buddha or a Bodhisattva means becoming an enlightened person, one who understands the reality of life and the universe. Therefore, to become a Buddha or Bodhisattva is not to become one with immense powers. You must be clear on this. A person who understands the reality of life and the universe is called a Buddha or a Bodhisattva. A Buddha has thorough understanding; a Bodhisattva, partial understanding. A Bodhisattva’s wisdom is not as perfect as that of a Buddha, but a Bodhisattva is still an enlightened person. [When we truly understand what Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are,] we can then truly understand the Buddha’s teachings, and we will not have any misunderstanding. To become a Buddha or Bodhisattva is what we should aspire to. We should aspire to become an enlightened person and not be a deluded person. Ordinary people are deluded; Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are enlightened. When I put it this way it is easier for you to understand. Where do we start[to become a Buddha]? We start with filial piety. This is the same as Confucian teaching. Practicing the First Condition results in the good fortune of humans and deities. We must be a good person first before we can learn to become a Buddha. The First Condition has four principles: First, be filial to parents. Second, respect teachers and elders. Third, be compassionate and do not kill. Fourth, cultivate the Ten Virtuous Conducts. These principles are the standard for being a good person and the very foundation of learning to become a Buddha. The scope of filial piety is infinitely profound. You can see this profoundness in the Chinese ideogram孝[xiao]. There is nothing else in the world like Chinese ideograms. We should respect and be proud of them. Our ancient ancestors planned for the welfare of their decedents with meticulous care. They gave careful consideration as to how to pass on their wisdom and experience to their decedents and what kind of medium they should use for purpose. The Chinese ideogram is the medium that they used to pass on their wisdom and experience. Such a medium, which reflects an abundance of wisdom, is not found in other languages. The character 孝belongs to the category called “joined meaning.” There are six principles in the creation of Chinese ideograms. These are called the “Six Categories.” One of the six categories is “joined meaning.” When you see the ideogram, you will grasp its meanings. The top part 耂 means old; the bottom part 子 means children. It shows us that past generations and future generations are one entity. The spirit of xiao, or filial piety, is based on this concept. Today, there is a generation gap between parents and children. A generation gap means that there is no xiao. When past and future generations are disconnected, there is no xiao. There was always a generation before any past generation, and there will always be a generation after any future generation. The pat has no beginning; the future has no end. It is one entity. You can see how profound and broad the meaning of xiao is! That is why the Chinese memorialize their ancestors. Many people cannot understand why we still memorialize our ancestors who lived thousands of years ago. Many people do not have this concept or understand the principle of xiao. So, both Buddhism and Confucianism are founded on filial piety. In other words, to attain Buddhahood is nothing but to practice filial piety to perfection. All that Buddhism teaches is filial piety.

Anchor：

Yes! After the Master’s explanation, we now understand that Buddhism is all about filial piety. Filial piety is very, very important in Buddhism. Master, we know that the Six Harmonies are also important in Buddhism. Would you please also talk about them?

Master Chin Kung：

The Six Harmonies are the Buddha’s teaching on how to conduct ourselves when in a group. The principles on how to interact with others are called the Six Harmonies. The first is harmony in having the same viewpoints. In other words, all group members must establish a consensus. I think that we can all understand the importance of this harmony. It is said, “When there is harmony in a family, all undertakings will be successful.” If all family members living together share common ideas, common viewpoints, and common goals, then this family will surely become prosperous. The same goes with a country. Today, groups generally seek to establish group consensus. The second is harmony in observing the same precepts. This harmony means to abide by the law. Precepts are laws and regulations. Everyone has to abide by the law. A country has its laws, a family has its rules, and a company also has its policies. If everyone can abide by the law and do his or her duty, then the business will be prosperous. The next three, harmony in living together, harmony in speaking without conflict, and harmony in experiencing the Dharma bliss are about getting along harmoniously. Finally, harmony in sharing benefits is also important. That is, material benefits should be shared fairly, without disparity. This harmony is very important. Frankly, a communal system is an ideal that is hard to achieve. The harmony is sharing benefits that the Buddha taught three thousand years ago is a communal system. Therefore, in Buddhism one finds true democracy, freedom, openness, and sharing. This combination is humanity’s highest aspiration.

Anchor：

As to the Threefold Learning of precepts, meditative concentration, and wisdom, you said that precepts are laws. How do you explain meditative concentration and wisdom?

Master Chin Kung：

The Threefold Learning is the focus of the Buddha’s teaching. That is, thought there are many subjects in Buddhism, the sutras being the text books, there is a main guideline from which these subjects do not deviate. This guideline is the Threefold Learning of precepts, meditative concentration, and wisdom. In other words, when you open any sutra, be it short or long, it will contain the Threefold Learning. But the emphasis will differ. Some sutras emphasize the precepts; some, meditative concentration; and others, wisdom. A sutra may emphasize one certain learning but it mentions all three. In a broad sense, precept observation refers to following methods. Whatever you do, there is a method or a procedure that you must follow. Otherwise, you will not achieve good results. Precept observation is abiding by the law. Only by abiding by the law can one achieve meditative concentration. Meditative concentration means that you will not be affected by the environment and will not blindly follow others. You are the master of your mind. Being so means that you have meditative concentration. From meditative concentration, wisdom arises. When you are the master of your mind, you will see reality clearly and perfectly. Therefore, precepts, meditative concentration, and wisdom are the general guidelines of the Buddha’s teaching, and are called the Threefold Learning.

Anchor：So, they are closely knit.

Master Chin Kung：Yes, they are closely knit.

Anchor：Master, what about the Six Perfections?

Master Chin Kung：

The Six Perfections are the Buddha’s teaching on how to conduct ourselves in life. Simply put, they are principles to follow. One must follow these six principles. Regardless of one’s status, lifestyle, or work, or profession, and whether one is a monastic or a layperson, one must follow these principles. This is called the Bodhisattva’s path. To become a Bodhisattva, you must follow these six principles. If you abide by these six principles, you are a true Bodhisattva. The first is the perfection of giving. Giving means letting go. It does not mean letting go of your work. It means letting go of your worries, concerns, and afflictions. This is true giving. Nowadays many people have a misconception. When they hear the word “giving,” they think it means going to temples to donate money and thus doing a good deed. This is a misunderstanding. Of course, it is also giving, but it is not the true meaning of giving. Giving teaches you to let go of your worries, wandering thoughts, discriminations and attachments. This is the true meaning. The second is the perfection of precept observation. We just said that precept observation means abiding by the law. Whatever you do, you must properly follow the rules in the prescribed order. The third is the perfection of patience. Whatever one does, one needs patience to achieve success. The greater the undertaking, the more patience one needs to achieve success. The fourth is the perfection of diligence. Today, we call it seeking improvement and progress. One should not be complacent or be content with just a little achievement. One must not. We know that in today’s society, technology advances daily. If you do not make progress, you will be weeded out. Therefore, Buddhism stresses diligence. One must keep improving one’s virtues, wisdom, skills, and even one’s life. Therefore, Buddhism is not outdated or old-fashioned; it keeps moving forward. The fifth is the perfection of meditative concentration. Having meditative concentration means that you are the master of your mind and you will not be easily affected by the environment. The last is the perfection of wisdom. If you do not have great wisdom, you will not achieve perfection in what you do. These six principles must be followed, especially by Bodhisattvas.

Anchor：

Master, what you just said corrected our idea of giving. One is not practicing giving when one simply donates some money or helps the needy. Giving is letting go of our worries and our wandering thoughts. But master, this is difficult for us ordinary people. Most people cannot control their many worries and wandering thoughts. Would you please give us some advice on how to achieve this?

Master Chin Kung：

Indeed, it is difficult for beginners. Why can’t they let go? Because they have not seen through things yet. And they do not understand the reality of life and the universe. If they thoroughly understand, they will naturally let go. That is why Sakyamuni Buddha spent 22 years of his life teaching the wisdom sutras. The wisdom sutras talk about the reality of life and the universe. What he taught in 22 years can be summed up into the 260-character _Heart Sutra_. Or, a sutra with a little more detail is a _Diamond Sutra_, which the Chinese like to read. The _Diamond Sutra_ covers the essence of the Buddha’s 22 years of teaching. The most important point in this sutra that the Buddha taught us is that the following three minds cannot be had: the mind of the past, the mind of the present, and the mind of the future. We think that we can own something, but this concept is illusory. It is not real. We cannot own anything. The Buddha said that the things we think we own, whether physical or mental, are in actuality formed by causal conditions. It is the principle of dependent origination. Many causal conditions combine to form a phenomenon that has no substance or self. Therefore, [all phenomena] are empty and cannot be attained. All phenomena are illusory. The Buddha concluded “All phenomena are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, and a shadow.” This statement means that not one phenomenon in the universe is real. Today’s scientists have also discovered this. They did so by analysis. They divided matter into molecule, then into atoms, and then into electrons. They realized this reality after analysis. The Buddha already explained this in detail 3000 years ago. The Buddha said that these illusory phenomena are very short-lived. They do not exist forever. They are “like a dewdrop or a flash of lightning.” We see that a phenomenon exists for a length of time, but what exists during this period is its mark of continuity, not the phenomenon itself. The reality is that a phenomenon is born and destroyed in an instant. An instant is so short a period of time that we cannot detect a phenomenon’s arising and ceasing. However, the Buddha can see it clearly. A phenomenon’s arising and ceasing is [in essence] its non-arising and non-ceasing because its existence is too brief. Its arising is the same time as its ceasing; its ceasing is the same time as its arising. The boundary between arising and ceasing cannot be found. Therefore, the Buddha taught that phenomena neither arise nor cease. “Neither arising nor ceasing” is the reality of arising and ceasing. When we know this reality, we can let go and relax, knowing that nothing can be held on to. And then we will be able to accord with conditions and thus be at ease. We will not actively seek conditions; in other words, to keep thinking about what to do and how to do it. Actively seeking conditions is asking for trouble. If we can accord with conditions, we will be truly at ease. Then, we will live a truly happy, carefree life.

Anchor：

In other words, when we understand reality, we will naturally let go of our wandering thoughts and worries. Also, you mentioned meditative concentration when you talked about the Six Perfections. I think that many people would like to attain meditative concentration but find it hard to achieve. Would you please give us some advice on this too?

Master Chin Kung：

Master Huineng, the sixth patriarch of the Zen school, explained meditative concentration very clearly in the _Platform Sutra_. What is meditation? What is concentration? Simply put, meditation means not to be affected by the external environment. And concentration means to maintain an undisturbed mind. The mind must remain pure, with no discriminations, no worries, and no attachments. This is concentration. Master Huineng attained awakening by listening to the _Diamond Sutra_, so his explanation is based on this sutra. The Buddha said in the _Diamond Sutra_: “Do not cling to [illusory] phenomena; maintain an undisturbed mind.” The first part is meditation, and the second part is concentration. We can clearly see that practicing meditative concentration does not mean meditating facing the wall every day. This is only one of the many forms of practice. In actuality, in your everyday activities, you are practicing meditative concentration when you remain undisturbed and unattached. In the _Avatamsaka Sutra_, where did the Bodhisattvas practice meditative concentration? At the market! The sutra mentions _sichan_, which means a bustling bazaar. The Bodhisattvas went “window-shopping” to practice meditative concentration. You should understand that when they were window-shopping, they saw everything clearly. That is wisdom. They saw and understood everything clearly, and none of these things could tempt them. To remain untempted is “meditation.” To maintain an undisturbed mind is “concentration.” What did they cultivate when they went window-shopping? They cultivated meditative concentration and wisdom, unlike ordinary people who, attracted by everything they see, desire everything. When one is affected, there is no meditative concentration. We should know that meditative concentration is true enjoyment. Meditative concentration and wisdom are the utmost enjoyments in life.

Anchor：

Meditative concentration means not to cling to phenomena and to maintain an undisturbed mind.

Master Chin Kung：

Yes, that is correct. Not clinging to phenomena is to be untempted. This is meditation. Maintaining an undisturbed mind is concentration.

Anchor：We need to practice this diligently.

Master Chin Kung：So, one practices meditative concentration in daily life.

Anchor：

Talking about daily life, we know that Buddhism concerns our daily life. In the five guidelines, there are Ten Great Vows. Master, what are the Ten Great Vows? And how do they concern our lives?

Master Chin Kung：

These Ten Great Vows are advanced cultivation methods; they are not ordinary methods. We would do very well if we can truly practice the Six Perfections. However, only after we have perfected the Six Perfections can we progress to the Ten Great Vows. The distinctive feature of the Ten Great Vows is a pure, nondiscriminatory mind. In other words, if your mind is impure and discriminates, you cannot succeed in practicing the Ten Great Vows. Of Samantabhadra’s Ten Great Vows, the first is to respect all Buddhas. This is to cultivate respect. To whom do “All Buddhas” refer? They refer to all beings, not just those who have attained Buddhahood. There are past Buddhas, present Buddhas, and future Buddhas. Future Buddhas refer to all beings. Not only sentient beings, but plants and minerals are also Buddhas-to-be. This is the level [of teaching] in the _Avatamsaka Sutra_, which says “Sentient and non-sentient beings all have the same Buddha-wisdom.” Not only sentient beings—that is, animals—but plants and minerals can also attain Buddhahood. Therefore, we have to be sincere and respectful to people, to things, and to objects. This is the practice of Samantabhadra. If you still have any discriminations or wandering thoughts, then you do not have sincerity and respect. Cultivating the Six Perfections with sincerity, purity, and nondiscrimination is indeed cultivating the Ten Great Vows. If we still have [some degree of] discrimination and attachment, then we are cultivating the Six Perfections, not the Ten Great Vows. So the difference between the Ten Great Vows and the Six Perfections is the degree of purity. In cultivating the Ten Great Vows, the practitioner’s mind is truly pure and non discriminatory. This is the difference.

Summary: Buddhism is a teaching, not a religion, nor a philosophy.

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How to Preserve Social Values

What is Buddhism?(Part II.) Translated by Silent Voices

Anchor：

Master, you have talked a lot about meditative concentration. You said that one could practice meditative concentration while shopping or watching television. In other words, we can practice meditative concentration anytime and anywhere in daily life. Is that correct?

Master Chin Kung：Yes.

Anchor：In other words, when we see disturbances and discontent in society, we should not be irritated or angry.

Master Chin Kung：Yes.

Anchor：Is there any method that can help us achieve this state of mind?

Master Chin Kung：

Actually, you should not find it hard to understand. When you see such disturbances, your getting angry cannot solve it. If getting angry can solve the problem, then it is okay to get angry. Then it is worth you getting angry. If getting angry cannot solve the problem, isn’t getting angry futile? It is better to calm your mind. When one is calm, wisdom will arise from the calm mind. Only wisdom can solve problems. Anger and liking are emotional impulses. Being emotional cannot solve problems. Thus, meditative concentration and wisdom are very important. We must keep a pure mind in all circumstances. When our mind is calm, we can deal with problems. A calm mind will have wisdom. So, meditative concentration is very important.

Anchor：

So practicing meditative concentration is not being passive. And not getting angry is not being passive either. Concentration and calmness enable you to have wisdom. Wisdom arising from calmness can solve problems. This is the proactive effect.

Master Chin Kung：Yes!

Anchor：

Great! You also talked about giving. Master, you said that giving was letting go of worries and wandering thoughts. These sounds like only we ourselves would benefit. Are there other forms of giving that benefit others?

Master Chin Kung：

In helping others, there are (1) the giving of wealth, (2) the giving of teachings, and (3) the giving of fearlessness. Giving is categorized into these three major forms. Wealth refers to money we can spare. Frankly, living a good life.—a natural life, a carefree life, that is, a life of high quality—does not necessarily mean living a luxurious life. If your life is natural, carefree, and happy, then it is a perfect life. So long as we have enough food and clothing, we are free of worries. Why do we need extra things? If we have enough food to eat and clothing to wear, and a house that shelters us from harsh weather, we are fine physically and mentally. If we have extra, we can help others. Helping others is a source of happiness. So, we should enthusiastically and voluntarily provide material resources to all those who need them. This is the giving of wealth. We should give without attachment. We should not keep thinking about how many good deeds we have done, or else the rewards will just be mundane rewards, and wisdom will not arise. After we have given, our minds should be pure, without any attachment. Do not think about the giving. Then we will have true merit, which will help us achieve meditative concentration and wisdom. A reward that helps us achieve concentration and wisdom is a merit. A reward that does not is not a merit. The giving of teachings means that we teach others our knowledge or skills. This is the giving of teaching. For example, I engage in the teaching of Buddhism. Every day, I explain the Buddhist principles to people so that they can understand Buddhism and awaken. In this form of giving, there is absolutely no monetary payment. Many fellow practitioners know that our cassette tapes, video tapes, CDs, and all our publications are not copyrighted. Not copyrighting is an act of giving. It does not matter who reprints or circulates them, as long as society benefits. If there is a copyright, it is not giving. This is called business. This is not giving. As long as we can do something that will benefit society, we should do so enthusiastically. In doing these things, our minds should be pure and free. We should not think about what we have given. Thinking about what we have given opens us to suffering. The giving of fearlessness is resolving the difficulties of others. When others are fearful or feel uncomfortable physically or mentally, we help them so that they can feel calm and secure. This is the giving of fearlessness. The Buddha said that the giving of fearlessness brings the giver health and longevity, the giving of teaching brings the giver intelligence and wisdom, and the giving of wealth brings wealth. People want all of these: Wealth, intelligence, and longevity. But they do not know that they should plant causes. Their wants become wishful thinking. They ask Buddhas and bodhisattvas for blessings, but they will not get them.

Anchor：

If one does not give anything but instead only asks bodhisattvas for blessings, one will never get anything. Dear friends, please remember this. In truth, everyone can practice giving. It is not just the rich or the talented who have the ability to practice giving. Everyone has the ability to give. Is that correct?

Master Chin Kung：Yes!

Anchor：

Master, when we were talking about the Three Conditions, you mentioned filial piety, which is in the First Condition. Would you please elaborate on it a little more?

Master Chin Kung：

Successful learning requires respect for teachers. Respect for teachers is based on filia; piety. So, filial piety is the foundation. If one wants to be successful, to become a good person, and to contribute to society, one must receive a good education. A good education is a result of close cooperation between parents and schools. For example, in teaching filial piety, parents will find it hard to say to their children, “You are my son. You should be filial to me.” Then the son will ask “Why should I be filial?” Teaching filial piety to one’s children is difficult. Therefore, teachers have the responsibility to teach filial piety to students and to explain why they should be filial to and provide for parents. Similarity, parents should teach children to respect teachers. A teacher will also find it hard to say to the student, “I am your teacher. You should respect me.” Both the parents and the school must cooperate to teach this student. Therefore, “being filial to and providing for parents, and respecting teachers”

is the true foundation of education. From here, we advance to compassion. We should care about society and love all beings. This is compassion. The most important aspect of compassion is no killing. By not killing, we will not harm any person or any animal. After we nurture compassion, we next practice the Ten Virtuous Conducts. The Ten Virtuous Conducts are the basis for being a decent person. [The first five conducts are] no killing, no stealing, no sexual misconduct, no lying, and no divisive speech. Divisive speech sows discord among people, which we should not do.

Anchor：

Master, when you said no killing, does it mean that we should be vegetarians when we learn Buddhism?

Master Chin Kung：

Not necessarily. It is not necessary. However, a vegetarian diet is healthy. Nobody told me to become a vegetarian when I first studied Buddhism. But I became a vegetarian after six months. I was inspired to do so. When I was younger, some of my classmates were devout Muslims. I learned some Islamic teachings at a mosque. Muslims are very particular about what they eat because they care about more than just hygiene. Generally, when people talk about hygiene, they are referring to maintaining good physical health. Muslims also known that they should maintain a good temperament. Everyone has a temperament. Whether one’s temperament is good or bad is partially due to one’s diet. I appreciate this principle. They do not eat things that will affect their temperament adversely. Later on, I started to learn Buddhism. Buddhists advocate a vegetarian diet because it will prevent one’s compassion from wearing away. This diet fosters a healthy body, a good temperament, and a good mind. It covers everything. I was thus inspired and became a vegetarian at the age of 26. It has been more than forty years. My physical condition gets better and better. People usually cannot tell my age. Two years ago when I had a blood test in a hospital, the doctor said, “Master, the purity and color of your blood are like those of someone in his thirties.” He concluded that it must have been the benefit of a vegetarian diet. Therefore, a vegetarian diet is absolutely good for one’s health. In addition, one should keep one’s mind pure, with no contamination. It is better to be detached from all worldly things. Therefore, I do not watch television or listen to the radio. Nor do I read newspapers. If you ask me, I say that the world is at peace every day. I lead an easy life. When you see how chaotic the world is, then you will feel unbearably miserable. Why should I lead that kind of life? So I detach myself from all of those. I read sutras every day to be in the company of Buddhas, bodhisattvas, and ancient people. Wouldn’t you say this kind of life is very free and happy?

Anchor：

Yes, I believe that the mater’ looks are sufficient proof for the audience. His face glows with health, and there is no sign of aging. I really cannot tell his age, and it is not necessary for me to mention his age. When we learned Buddhism, we often hear_yezhang_(karmic obstacle) mentioned. It is said that there is yezhang in everyone’s life. What is yezhang? How does it affect us?

Master Chin Kung：

_Ye_ is karma, the result of activity. The consequence of whatever you do is called ye. When a student go to school, he or she has _zuoye_, or homework. The end of a semester is called _jieye_. Graduation is called _biye_. So, ye is the result of activity. Each one of our thoughts is an activity. Therefore, we have many, many activities. The Buddha summed them into three major categories. What you think is mental activity. What you say is verbal activity. What you do is physical activity. Physical, verbal and mental activities make up all your activities. All your activities will generate results. These results are called _ye_. Ye creates _zhang_[obstacles]. What do they obstruct? They obstruct our meditative concentration and wisdom. As we were saying, why can’t we achieve meditative concentration? Why do we yield to temptation when we go out? It is our own doing when we yield to temptation. When we yield to temptation we do not have meditative concentration or wisdom. Yielding to temptation becomes an obstacle, so it is called yezhang, or karmic obstacle. Our good actions can also be obstacles. Why? Because we may become happy [and get attached] to our good actions. In sum, our mind discriminates. The mind should be quiescent, but our mind is stirred, both when we are happy and when we are worried. These are all karmic obstacles. A good ye is an obstacle; so is a bad ye. Ye brings about karmic retribution. Good ye results in rebirth in the Three Good Paths, and bad ye results in rebirth in the Three Evil Paths. In other words, we still cannot transcend samsara. We have karmic obstacles; we do not have meditative concentration and wisdom. Only meditative concentration and wisdom can help us to transcend samsara. So the Buddha taught us to practice pure ye. That is, we should not do bad ye. We should do good ye. And when we do good ye and are not attached to the action, it is pure ye. Then there will be no obstacles. In sum, please remember that, from the time we wake up in the morning, we must accord with precepts, meditative concentration, and wisdom in all our daily activities like dressing, eating, working, and socializing. If you find the terms precepts, meditative concentration, and wisdom hard to understand, let me put it another way. You must maintain a pure mind. Is your mind pure? You must maintain a nondiscriminatory mind. A nondiscriminatory mind does not differentiate. A pure mind does not attach to anything. We should not discriminate or be attached to anything. To understand everything clearly is wisdom. To not discriminate and not attach is meditative concentration. When you accord with meditative concentration, and wisdom, you will have a perfectly happy life. You will have a smooth career. You will perform better then others. Why will you perform better? Because you have meditative concentration, and wisdom.

Anchor：

Yes! In other words, ye are the consequences of what you once did and what you once said. Good deeds bring good rewards. Bad deeds bring bad retributions. So we should do more good deeds. Master, does this have something to do with the law of causality that Buddhism talks about?

Master Chin Kung：Yes, they are closely connected.

Anchor：Would you please talk about the law of causality?

Master Chin Kung：

The mundane laws, or the worldly laws, and the supramundane laws, or the Dharma, all adhere to the law of causality. The Dharma is also based on the law of causality. If you do not have the causes, how can you have the results? For example, when we go to school, studying hard is the cause, and getting a degree is the result. Working hard is the cause, and receiving a good income is the result. Therefore, this world and the worlds beyond are one immense causality. This causality is continuous and cyclical. We must know this reality. Knowing that causality is continuous and cyclical, we will naturally cultivate virtues and refrain from wrongdoings. Because we ourselves plant the causes, we know that we will have the results. We plant a good cause, and we will get a good result. We plant a bad cause, and we will get a bad result. It is not possible that a good cause will have bad results, and a bad cause will have good results. The law of causality is immutable.

Anchor：

In regards to causality, I am a little curious. We can say that throughout our lives we do good deeds for the sake of the next generation. Say the generation before us committed bad deeds, but we have not. We do not know about the bad deeds but we have to face the bad results. What should we do?

Master Chin Kung：

It is extremely complex. Strictly speaking, in causality, one reaps what one sows. [The action of] generation will impact the following generations. It is indirect, not direct. Therefore, even if the previous generation did no good deeds, we can still work hard to change the impact of the consequences of the bad deeds upon us. If you cannot change the impact it is because you do not know the reality of causality. You are changed by the environment and thus suffer. In other words, you are affected by the environment. We were saying that if you are affected by the environment, then you do not have meditative concentration and wisdom. If you can follow the usual principles, then you are observing the precepts. If you cultivate a pure mind and attain wisdom, then you can change the environment, no matter how bad it is. It depends on your effort. We call this great wisdom. Great wisdom must rely on profound meditative concentration and appropriate methods. No matter how serious society’s problems are, or how bad our environment is, everything can be changed. _Liaofan’s Four Lessons_ gives us the best example.

Anchor：

In other words, although the generation before you committed some bad deeds that affect your generation, if you can achieve meditative concentration and wisdom from your practice of Buddhism, you can still neutralize the negative impact. Yes, you can! That is right. Therefore, it all depends on us. Master, I know that people generally think “It is enough to be a good person. Why must I learn Buddhism? How will Buddhism benefit me personally? Why must I learn Buddhism?”

Master Chin Kung：

This idea [of just being a good person] is a misconception. From what I just said, you should understand that learning Buddhism is learning to be an enlightened person. [Let me rephrase their thought:] it is enough to be a [good] person. Why does one have to be an enlightened person? Why does one have to know the reality of life and the universe? Isn’t it enough to be a good person! When I put it this way, you should have your answers. To be a perfectly good person, you must be enlightened. You may be a good person, but your goodness is not perfect. You still have many missing qualities. If you have meditative concentration and wisdom and become an enlightened person, then you are a perfectly good person. This is the reason [Why you need to learn Buddhism] .

Anchor：Generally, a good person is only an ordinary good person.

Master Chin Kung：Right! Not perfect.

Anchor：

Not perfect! Not a perfectly good person. Therefore, to become a perfectly good person, we must learn Buddhism. Also, if we want to have any accomplishment in learning Buddhism, must we become monastics? Can we succeed as lay practitioners?

Master Chin Kung：

It is not necessary to be a monastic to learn Buddhism. That is a misconception. Being a monastic is like having an occupation. If you like this occupation, you can choose it. A person of any occupation can learn Buddhism and become a bodhisattva, become a Buddha. It is not necessary to be a monastic. It is only one of many occupations. Choosing to be a monastic is like choosing an occupation. Say I like teaching, so I choose to attend a teachers college. When I graduate in the future, I will become a teacher. This is personal aspiration. We must know that Buddhism is perfect wisdom. Perfect wisdom can be expressed regardless of how one lives one’s life, whether at work or in any other situation. This is truly learning Buddhism. To have true accomplishment in learning Buddhism, one does not need to become a monastic. But if you become a monastic and do not teach, that will be a great mistake. For example, [In Taiwan] you attend a teachers college and are hired to teach, but you do not teach. It is absurd! This is a fault. No matter what your occupation, you should do your job well and be the model for everyone in that occupation. Then you are a bodhisattva or a Buddha. Buddhas and bodhisattvas are the best models for all beings.

Anchor：

Yes. You also said that learning Buddhism helps us to leave suffering behind and attain happiness. This is also a goal that we Buddhist practitioners wish to reach. Talking about ending suffering and attaining happiness, we can say that every person has afflictions. I wander if there are specific methods in Buddhism that can help us eliminate these afflictions? The sutras say that afflictions arise from one’s delusion regarding oneself and one’s delusion regarding the reality of one’s living environment. Because you do not know the reality, you have deluded thoughts every day. As both your thoughts and views are wrong, your actions are thus wrong. We know that thoughts guide one’s actions. Wrong thoughts will lead to wrong actions. Wrong actions will naturally result in afflictions. To end the afflictions of all beings, the Buddha must first help them to awaken and truly understand life. Frankly, in this regard, today’s generations cannot compare with people of the past. They were able to be content while in poverty. They were happy. People today have endless desires. They are really asking for suffering! Try to think calmly. You work so hard every day. What kind of life are you leading? What do you get in return? Think calmly, and you will awaken. Don’t lead a wrong life! In my early years of learning Buddhism, an old monk told me a true story that happened when he was a child. In Taizhou, Jiangsu Province, there was a beggar. It is very pitiable to be a beggar. The beggar’s son became a successful businessman. Relatives and friends reprimanded the son, “You have so much money and enjoy a good life, but your father is begging for food out there. Don’t you know that?” The son naturally felt very bad. He sent out many people to find his father and to bring him home. When the father was home, the son gave him new clothes and had servants wait on him. After a month, the father sneaked out and became a beggar again. People asked him why. The father said, “I cannot stand having so many people wait on me!” They kept bringing me food that I did not want and make me eat it. They gave me clothes that I did not want to wear. When I am a beggar, I traveled around every day. When I am hungry, I just beg for a bowl of food. I sleep wherever I happen to be. I am truly living. I am leading a life that I want to live—a happy, carefree life.” This was an extraordinary person. His thinking was totally different from how we usually think. This person was not exposed to Buddhism. Had he learned Buddhism, he would have attained Buddhahood. In actuality, he was a bodhisattva. He was a beggar bodhisattva, a beggar who had awakened. His behavior showed that he was free of worldly desires. He led a life close to nature. Nature was his companion. Who has this state of mind? When he thought of his son doing business, he was scornful. [He felt that] his son was leading a subhuman life. Consider “leaving suffering and attaining happiness” from this view.

Anchor：

How profound! There are some people who are the complete opposite of the father in that story. They really do not know how fortunate they are. Actually, everything is good around them but they are just not happy, because they remember only unpleasant things and non of the happy things. Master, would you please say something to this people?

Master Chin Kung：

It is said in a sutra that all phenomena are illusory. People and things that you encounter are transient. Why keep them in your mind and give yourself a hard time? This is quite foolish! If you want to be truly happy, you should completely forget all the unhappy things and all the people you feel animosity towards. Always remember others’ good points and do not think of their faults. Then you will be happy. If you constantly think of others’ faults, not their good points, you are asking for suffering. Is your suffering inflicted by others? No. You are the one who suffers, not they. Such people are foolish. The sutras call this delusion. Carefully consider what the Buddha said. We should seek happiness within. We should constantly think of the virtues of others, not their faults. Even if a person has faults or is a bad person, we should still keep this mindset and interact with him with a good attitude. This way we can turn him into a good person. The merit [from doing this] is boundless. It is a very good thing. We must not contribute to others’ bad behavior. We should help others achieve their goals. Then we will truly attain happiness.

Anchor：

Master, for those who cannot control their thoughts, are there methods, such as studying sutras that can help these people to develop themselves? And what sutras can they study?

Master Chin Kung：

It is quite common not being able to control your thoughts. We see a lot of this in Taiwan and abroad. From the perspective of Buddhism, the reason is that these people have deep-rooted habits and too many afflictions. Even though they know the principles, sometimes they still cannot control themselves when faced with certain situations. They cannot change their actions. There are many methods in Buddhism. You can read a sutra. If you have worries, and your mind is not calm, try to compose yourself, and then open a sutra and concentrate on your reading. Your emotions will gradually calm down. Therefore, you can read a sutra, or chant a mantra, or mindfully chant a Buddha’s name. There are many methods. Or you do not have to use these methods. You can use worldly methods instead. If you like music, you can listen to classical music, and your mind will calm down. There is no specific method. You can use any method that works best for you. In sum, it is most important to end one’s discriminations and wandering thoughts. This is the core concept of cultivation.

Anchor：Master, can you advise us as what sutras we should study to help us practice at home?

Master Chin Kung：

A beginner must start with being a good person. In recent years, I have been advocating “Four Goodnesses,” which are to maintain a good heart, do good deeds, say good words and be a good person. “Good” means to benefit society, not oneself. If people seek only to benefit themselves and put aside benefiting society, it is not good. Our every thought should be for society. I am also a member of society. If everyone is doing well, naturally I will also do well. If I am the only one who is doing well I will still have adversities that I cannot avoid. Therefore, the criteria of goodis whether society will benefit. This is the minimum requirement for being a good person. Where do we start? Master Yin Guang[13

th

Pure Land patriarch], promoted _Liaofan���s Four Lessons_ throughout his life. We can emulate Yuan Liaofan, who lived in the Ming dynasty. His book is widely circulated in Taiwan. I have lectured extensively on this book. There are tapes and books in circulation that you can listen to or read. We start with diligently learning to be a good person. It is the foundation. Then when we study sutras, we will benefit from our study. If you have not read any sutras, the _Infinite Life Sutra_ is a good sutra to start with. This sutra is not too lengthy. It is very suitable for people today. It is complete with principles, methods, and states [of cultivation]. All aspects are covered. It is a very good book.

Anchor：The _Infinite Life Sutra_?

Master Chin Kung：The_Infinite Life Sutra_.

Anchor：Master, before, during, or after reading a sutra, are there any rules or taboos?

Master Chin Kung：

None. Buddhism is a teaching, not a religion. The Buddha will not get offended if we do not observe rules. There is no such things. If Buddha gets offended, it means his mind is not quiescent and he therefore becomes an ordinary person! There is no such thing.

Anchor：No taboos?

Master Chin Kung：Absolutely none.

Anchor：You can read sutras any place and any time?

Master Chin Kung：Yes! Yes!

Anchor：As long as we quiet down and keep the mind focused?

Master Chin Kung：

Yes! Yes! But when everyone practices together, there must be rules, otherwise there will be chaos. Why is [the musical instrument] the wood fish used for group chanting? It provides the rhythm so that everyone can chant in unison. The chanting will sound unified, not chaotic. Therefore, rules are for group practice. When you practice alone, you do whatever is comfortable.

Anchor：

Also, in our living environment we can see disharmony everywhere. For example, more and more couples are in discord. The divorce rate is increasing. There are many stories of unfilial children. Discord among neighbors can be seen everywhere. They all reflect a disharmonies society. Master, would you please say something in regard to this disharmony?

Master Chin Kung：

We must find the causes of this disharmony and eliminate these causes. Then we can truly solve the problems. The causes lie in education. Why was society stable in the past? Because of education, society was stable for a long time. The focus of education in the past was to teach one how to be a decent person. You can read about the old education in _Sanli_ abd about Buddhist teaching in the sutras and their commentaries. They teach people how to interact properly with one another: between husband and wife, between parents and children, among siblings, among friends, and between leaders and subordinates. They teach us how to behave within these relationships, called the Five Cardinal Relationships and Eight Virtues. This is what the teaching focuses on. When Confucius taught, virtues— a person’s foundation —was top priority. Then he taught how to talk appropriately with others, how to engage in tasks, and how to make a living. When the student had these qualities, Confucius would then teach him literature and art to enhance his culture levels. There is a rationale for this progression. It is the same in Buddhism. There is an aberration in the objective of education today. This aberration is the main cause for disharmony: We emphasize technology instead of the humanities. So we do not understand human relationships. Even if we are wealthy, wealth alone will not enable us to resolve problems in human relationships. This is the difficult part. If we want to remedy the situation, it is too late to use education to resolve today’s social crises because it will take too long. It is too late to use the Mahayana teachings. The most effective method is the teaching of causality. It is the truth. If everyone knows that good causes bring about good effects and bad causes bring bad effects, then people will restrain their thoughts and actions. The world will be a safer place. [Understanding the need for teachings on causality] Master Yin Guang propagated _Liaofan’s Four Lessons_ and _Accounts of Response and Retribution_ , instead of lecturing on sutras or propagating the Dharma. These books talk about causality and urge people to be virtuous. What he did made a lot of sense. He was truly wise and compassionate. He tried to help society. We know the principles and methods, and so we to wholeheartedly propagate them.

Anchor：

Master, people generally fear the future, death, and rebirth. Would you please talk about life and death?

Master Chin Kung：

We fear death because we do not understand the reality at all. When we understand, we will have no fear. The Buddha told us that life is eternal. In other words, there is no death. The concept of death is a wandering thought. The physical body is not “I.” Everybody takes the body as “I,” so people have fear. If a person knows that the body is not “I,” why would this person be afraid? Take clothes for an example. We know our clothes are not who we are, just something we possess. When the clothes are dirty, we take them off and put on new ones. The body is also a possession of ours, not who we are. When the body is worn out after decades of use, we discard it and get a new one. If you think this way, won’t you be free or fear? This is the reality. Therefore, the Buddha said that the body is not “I,” but something I possess, just like clothing. When you look at death this way, you will not be afraid.

Anchor：Then what is “I”?

Master Chin Kung：In Buddhism, “I” refers to the true nature. A philosopher had said “I think, therefore I am.”

Anchor：“I think, therefore I am.”

Master Chin Kung：The part that can think is you.

Anchor：Formless?

Master Chin Kung：

Formless. We call it spirit or mind. But is that the true “I”? No, it is still not! The true “I” is a level above that. Actually, the philosopher who realized “I think, therefore I am” was already more perceptive than most people. In Buddhism, this concept is consciousness. What is consciousness? It is the mind’s activity. What the philosopher observed was the mind’s activity, not the nature of the mind. The nature of the mind is the level above consciousness. It is the true “I.” Therefore, the body is not “I.” In the Six Paths, we keep acquiring and discarding bodies and are thus encumbered by them. The body is not a good thing. Therefore, we should not pamper it. But we should not abuse it either. It is wrong to pamper or to abuse it. Just let everything that happens to the body take its due course. Then we have a perfect life. We call this according with nature. The body has to return to nature and accord with nature. This is most healthful way to live.

Anchor：Master, where do we go after death?

Master Chin Kung：

In scientific terms, we just go to another dimension. Buddhism talks about the Ten Dharma Realms, the Six Paths, the twenty-eight levels of heavens, and Buddha Lands. From the scientific perspective, they are just different dimensions. We live in a three- or four-dimension world, and other beings live in five- or six-dimension space. The Buddhas’ state is the highest, perfect dimension. Frankly, it is just the changing of dimension. If you cannot quite understand, just think about the switching of television channels. You may find it easier to understand. Has the television changed? No! Only the channel is changed. It is still the same television. There is a Buddhist saying about rebirth: “One definitely attains rebirth but one does not actually go.” Why does one not go? Because it is still the same television. Why does one defiantly attain rebirth? Because one is now on a different channel. It is indeed a different channel. We can explain death and rebirth with scientific methods. This is the reality.

Anchor：So there is no delusion in Buddhism.

Master Chin Kung：None!

Anchor：It is very scientific.

Master Chin Kung：Yes.

Anchor：

I am curious about the Buddhist ritual that helps the deceased to leave the Three Evil Paths. What is the purpose of this ritual?

Master Chin Kung：

This ritual allows us to pay our respect to the deceased. We sincerely try to help the deceased. The deceased committed many bad karmas when alive, so he or she will face bad retributions. This Buddhist ritual helps the deceased to suffer less. The principle is well explained in the _Ksitigarbha Sutra_. The deceased will not get merit when we simply recite a sutra! It is clearly explained in the sutra. You must understand how the service helps the deceased. We have to cultivate a pure mind, that is, a mind without wandering thoughts. When we chant with a pure mind, the deceased will get merits. Let’s say, I want to bring honor to my family and ancestors. I would need to work hard to become an outstanding person in the future. My parents would then be honored. Wherever they go, they would be introduced as so-and-so’s parents. Thus, they would be respected and receive special attention. The same principle applies [to help the deceased]. Without achieving true cultivation yourself, it would be futile to chant any sutra. To sum up, when you study sutras, you must understand their meanings and practice accordingly. If you can elevate yourself from the level of an ordinary person to that of a sage, you will bring honor to your parents, and people will respect them. This is the true meaning of the Buddhist ritual for the deceased.

Anchor：So the ritual does not really help in the deceased’s rebirth?

Master Chin Kung：

It helps. The deceased will be respected wherever he or she is reborn, be it heaven or any other path. If the deceased’s child is a sage or a bodhisattva, the deceased will be greatly honored. The ritual works this way. If you cannot succeed in cultivation, it is futile to chant any sutra.

Anchor：

Master, you just mentioned the _Ksitigarbha Sutra_. In Buddhism, it is a very important sutra. Could you spend some time to give us an in-depth explanation of it?

Master Chin Kung：

Learning and practicing Buddhism is clearly divided into four stages in China. The first stage is learning from Ksitigarbha. _Ksiti_ means the mind, and garbha means stored treasure. Innate in our minds are infinite wisdom, infinite skills, and infinite virtues and capabilities. The Buddha said: “Every being has the wisdom and abilities of a Buddha.” So our wisdom and abilities are the same. No one is better than another. But why does it appear that some are better than others? Why is everyone different? The difference is due to the karmic obstacles that we mentioned earlier. When a person has more karmic obstacles, little wisdom will surface. When a person has less karmic obstacles, more wisdom will surface. The difference is due to the quantity of karmic obstacles. If everyone totally removes their karmic obstacles, the wisdom and capabilities that surface will be the same. Therefore, we start with our mind treasure. How do we uncover our mind treasure? With filial piety and respect! Therefore, the _ Ksitigarbha Sutra_ is the Buddhist version of the _Classic of Filial Piety_. We must start our learning with Ksitigarbha. From Ksitigarbha, we advance to Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, who symbolizes great compassion. Great compassion arises from filial piety and respect. Say I am filial to my parents and my family members, and then I apply this filial piety and respect to all beings. I thus become Avalokitesavara. This is advancing to the next higher level. The next is Manjusri Bodhisattva, who represents wisdom. To be truly compassionate towards all beings and to care about and to take care of them, you should be rational, not emotional. Manjusri represents reason. Finally, Samantabhadra Bodhisattva symbolizes nondiscrimination. Your wisdom, compassion, filial piety, and respect should be the same towards all beings. Therefore, Samantabhadra truly achieves perfection in practice.

Anchor：

Master, you mentioned mindfully chanting a Buddha’s name earlier. On many occasions, we can hear the chanting of Buddhas’ names. For example, the most common are “Namo Amituofo” and “Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa.” Master, what is the purpose of chanting these names

Master Chin Kung：

In Buddhism, there are many methods of cultivation. There are 84,000 methods—countless methods. Buddha-name chanting is only one of the countless methods. The advantage of this method is its simplicity and ease. Everyone can practice this. Its principles are very profound. The Pure Land school advocates chanting “Amituofo” and vowing to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Of course, it takes more than a few words to explain Pure Land clearly. Although, its sutras are not long, they hold an abundance of principles. Take the _ Amitabha Sutra_, whicj everyone is familiar with, as an example. We used to think that this sutra is very simple. I lectured on this sutra twice. There is a set of 335 cassette tapes of my second lecture series. We can see that this sutra is not simple at all! I spent so much time, almost one year, lecturing on this sutra. Did I cover all the meanings? No! I only managed to cover a little. We can see that there is an inconceivable abundance of Pure Land principles! However, the method is simple. Anyone can practice it, regardless of whether one understands the principles or not. If one does not understand the principles, the foremost thing is to practice sincerely. “Sincerely” means to truly believe and to make one’s vow. This person can also succeed. The result is truly wondrous. We can even say that it is unparalleled. One can transcend not only the Six Paths but also the Ten Dharma Realms. The merit achieved by other methods cannot compare with it in wondrousness. That is why all Buddhas praise this method. Since ancient times, the patriarchs of other schools also advocated this method. We can see that this method is truly wondrous.

Anchor：

Among the many methods of practicing Buddhism, such as the Zen school, the Esoteric school, and the Pure Land school, some people emphasize the simultaneous practice of Zen and Esoteric methods or the simultaneous practice of Zen, Esoteric, and Pure Land methods. Master, please tell us how we should practice.

Master Chin Kung：

Frankly, if we want to attain the most wondrous achievement in our practice in this short life, we must concentrate on one method because it is easier for us to maintain a calm mind with one method. If you learn two or three method, your achievement cannot compare with that of the person who concentrates on one. For example, in a battle, it is easier to win if the army attacks one spot. If the army is split and attacks three different spots, its power is weakened, and the army may not win. The same principle applies. When some advocate the simultaneous practice of two or three methods, you should listen carefully to what they say and to whom they say it. They have their reasons. For example, if one says to practice both Zen and Pure Land methods, one must have said this to a Zen practitioner who could not succeed in his practice but who was unwilling to give up. So one advises the practice of both Zen and Pure Land methods. In other words, if you do not succeed in one method, there is still hope for you to succeed in another. That is why some advocate the simultaneous practice of two or three methods. Thus, we understand that the person who says this has his reasons. In actuality, if the student truly listens to the teacher, the teacher will definitely yell him to concentrate on one method. That one method is the Pure Land method. It is the easiest to succeed in. the Zen and Esoteric methods are not as easy.

Anchor：

Today, Master Chin Kung has talked to us for almost two hours. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have been watching our show today, you must now feel that you have benefited greatly. After the master has given us such an in-depth talk, I believe that you now have a very clear understanding of Buddhism. Buddhism is not a religion but a perfect teaching of utmost virtuousness. And it is definitely not something for us to worship. Buddha’s teaching and our lives are closely knit together. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you want to understand more about Buddhism, let me introduce the book: _Buddhism: The Awakening of Compassion and Wisdom._ This is the Dharma talk that Master Chin Kung gave in Miami, USA, a few years ago. This book is widely circulated. I think you can find one to read. Today, our show will end here. I would like to thank Master Chin Kung for his talk. And thank you for watching.

Summary: Buddhism is a teaching, not a religion, nor a philosophy.

[dinosaursindisarray]

I haven’t posted anything recently, partially because I was a little overwhelmed by simultaneously the best and worst week two weeks ago, and also because I got transferred from the short-term care team to a long term one.

TW/CW: hospital mention, self harm mention, cuts mention, scars mention, flashback mention, trauma mention, school mention, depersonalization, suicidal ideation, mother mention, nephew mention, negative thoughts, false thinking.

After being in the hospital, I was referred to a couple of programs that were supposed to help me - two of my diagnosis's on the discharge papers were ‘Family problems’ and ‘Financial problems’. I had no idea what to expect or what I was going to be offered. I vaguely remember having a social worker before, during my teen years, but only because she shared the name of my sister. I don’t remember anything she did, but I feel like I didn’t see her very often.

So when the team I was referred to said that I’d be going into a short-term program, as they didn’t want me to have to wait for the long term one in order to receive care, it felt kind of nice. Like, oh, someone wants to help. And, weeks ago, the first meeting with the woman from the short-term care team, W, went really well! She was really kind, and despite me dissociating, I was able to explain things fairly well and go through with the meeting.

W listened to what was wrong with my life and offered solutions, everything from housing, education, income, even cooking classes and a way to get discounted bus fare. It was unbelievable, I was ecstatic! Where had all these things been all these years I’d needed them? All these years I’d been stuck? I left the meeting with paperwork to fill out and the beginning of hope.

The next meeting was a week or so later. I went to sit with W and try and fill out the form for housing, and plan some things. During it, a child began co-fronting, and I kept slipping in and out, coming back to my chest being tight and tears in my eyes and on my cheeks, forgetting where I was, a small, panicked voice in my head. W didn’t seem to notice; when I grounded myself enough, we began talking about plans for her to go with me to apply for SSI and what sort of support I’d need. She asked about triggers, I think, asked what had caused me to go into the hospital before.

I tried to explain that flashbacks had lead to switching, which had lead to a child alter harming the body in a warped survival method, but I didn’t get past mentioning the child alter. She rejected it, somehow, saying that she didn’t want to hear about alters or anything like that, she just wanted to know what happened with me. I tried again to explain that it wasn’t me - I lost an entire week of time before it came to that flashback and switch, and I had no control over it. She didn’t listen, cutting me off and insisting that ‘So, you hurt yourself?’

Confused and still dissociated, I agreed. I woke up with more parts of my life gone and dozens of injuries that scarred on my body that I had no say in, but sure, I ‘hurt myself’. She went on to say something about well, her job was to make sure that didn’t happen again, so that if I felt bad while we were out, I needed to let her know. I tried one last time to explain that it doesn’t work like that, but she didn’t listen then either. Looking back, every time I tried to bring up DID or alters, she refused to listen, not wanting to hear anything about it - how to help me, how to handle it, nothing. She gave me a paper that was an outline of my ‘treatment’ with her and that team, and under my ‘problems’ she’d typed “Disassociate Identity Disorder.”

I pointed that not only was the terminology incorrect, but that it was also misspelled, and she laughed, chiding me not to judge her spelling mistakes. Looking back, it really feels like she didn’t care about what was actually wrong with me. Maybe it wasn’t allowed for her to actually say that she didn’t believe in DID, but that’s the message that came across. I didn’t realize it at the time, because I was so enamored with the idea of someone actually wanting to help me and maybe even being able to.

There was only one meeting after that, and if was very short. I was supposed to bring in some documents that she’d told me to bring the last meeting. Because of the child rapid switching with me before, I’d only remembered her telling me to bring one thing, forgetting the other 4 that were needed. I left, after we made plans to go to social security later that week, and I had her write down what things I would need for that.

At home, I went through a few huge stacks of files that dated back to pre-preschool, in order to try and get a timeline of treatment that W wanted for social security. I found report cards from kindergarten, state test reports, old exams, hospitalization records, medical records... I sorted through all of it, despite how it destabilized me. Too many reminders of childhood, and of school; several previously dormant alters began fronting as I obsessed over the little bits of trauma I had accidentally recalled from school, all of it painting a worse picture than I’d thought. I got the paperwork I needed though, so that W could take me to social security.

The day came and I called her office in the morning, because she was supposed to come pick me up and I wanted to make sure she came to the right place. The person in the office told me that she wasn’t in, she wasn’t supposed to work that day. I had her cell phone and called, asked her about our meeting. ‘Was that today?’ She asked. I answered yes, and she apologized, saying that we’d do it next week instead.

Already for this meeting, she hadn’t been clear about what the time meant; was it when she was going to pick me up, or when we were going to go to SS? And now all I had was ‘next week’. Did that mean a week from that day? Any day next week? What time? Would she call me and let me know? Would I have to call her again? Considering I have severe anxiety about talking on the phone and also missing appointments, the whole things was unnecessarily stressful.

The next week, 6 days later, she called me and said that I’d been accepted into the long term care group and was being transferred over to them. She said that they were trying to get ahold of me and couldn’t, and after a lot of nonsense in which I got the wrong number, then the right number, called and got no answer, and finally called W back, I asked if there was any way she could just set up the meeting between me and the new group. She said yes, and I asked if she would be there too, as she said that she would during our first meeting and she’d made it clear that I’d be transferred eventually. She said yes.

She didn’t show up.

My meeting with the new group went even better than the meeting with W. I was horrifically anxious at first, but after signing about 30 papers, I sat down in a meeting room with 3 other people. J, who was the leader of my new care group, L, who was part of the team that advocated for me that I was referred to from the hospital that made it so I got this care group, and another member of the care group.

After everyone introduced themselves, J asked me about myself and why I was there; they let me talk, and everyone took notes. I explained my troubles, what brought me to the hospital, that I had DID, and a brief history of my mental health issues. The whole time, they paid attention to me and didn’t interrupt or rush me at all; I actually felt fairly comfortable talking. I explained what I need - a different living situation, income, education, support, etc. I explained my social phobia, agoraphobia, difficulties and problems very briefly.

J explained the care team - it’s 10 people, each of which I’ll interact with, and each of which specialize in different things. J is the leader of the team, and all of them are there to help me. She said that they’d be meeting with me 3 times a week, and I thought I’d misheard. 3 time a week?? Not like, every month? Not, they check in on me every so often to make sure I’m not dead, and they’re there for me to call if I need to, like a suicide helpline, but when I call I’m made to feel like they’re already overworked and stretched thin and I lie to them to stop feeling bad about bothering them until I eventually just slip through the cracks? That’s what I was expecting, or, at best, something like with W.

J said that, well, for me, giving my social anxiety and things, they’d introduce the team to me little by little, so I could adjust without getting overwhelmed. I’d be able to form a relationship with 1 or 2 of them at a time before meeting someone new. And, she said, they’d probably start with less than 3 times a week and ease into it for me for the same reason. It was honestly so considerate to me as an individual that I cried in the car on the way home. I cried at home. They were actually tailoring this program to try and fit me better, fit my needs better?

And that’s not the only reason I cried. J let me ask questions, as many as I wanted, made sure I had time to. I asked what all of them knew about DID, and how much I was supposed to share or not share. I was thinking of W, honestly, because it wasn’t until writing this that I thought that it wasn’t just how things worked, rather than her just being against DID or something. J said that this group had been chosen for my case, and that she’d known about it for a few months, even if he hadn’t known my name yet. It had been heavily talked about who would get my case so that I got the best people to help, and J was the best for it. She said that she’d done some research into DID, but that it was going to be working with me and my therapist, learning from me, and building a relationship, that would help her learn more.

L said that someone else had actually been assigned my file, but that she had volunteered for it, because she’d worked with clients with DID before. She had a few years of experience and wanted to help. It felt good to know that I wasn’t just constantly dumped on people. J made an appointment with me to come to my house a week later on Friday, in order to get to know e better and find out more about my alters, triggers, trauma, and things like that.

I left feeling exuberant and excited; the weekend was actually hard, because I had nothing to do during the next three days. I decided to make up a more detailed alter list than the one I have on the system page, listing what triggers I know for everyone and more about their personalities, as well as signs that they’re out. That helped, helped me feel productive, but it was hard to think; I didn’t know how to handle good news. I kept waiting for it to turn sour or explode, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I guess I’m just really really used to disappointment and broken promises - aftereffect of trauma.

Therapy helped me get through the week as well, and then it was Friday, last Friday. J was supposed to get there at 12:30; I was ready early, and called her to try and double check things. No answer, but I left a message, then spent some time trying to figure out how to use the printer to print out the document I’d written up. Most of the cats were corralled back into a bedroom, and my mom left me in the living room.

12:30 came and went. Around 1pm, I wondered if I’d gotten the time wrong and she’d be there at 1:30 instead; I texted her, remembering her saying at the meeting that her number was call or text, 24/7. At 1:30, I tried calling her again. At 2, she texted back, asking who I was, and I said who I was and that we’d had a meeting. At 2:50, I texted again, asking her to call me, and at 3:30, I tried calling her again. 

This time, she answered, and I said who I was and that we’d been supposed to meet at 12:30. She said that she was sorry, she’d been at the hospital with emergencies all day; she was about 15 minutes away from her office, could she call me back when she got there? I said yes, of course, and thanked her, and hung up.

She never called. I sat in the same spot for 5 hours, blendy and weird and dissociated. I know I was there at some points, but I don’t know who else was. A child discovered a new online game and almost everyone around got really into it. There was too many emotions though, and everything stayed staticky and numb and distorted, to the point we didn’t know if the reactions we were having to various things were warranted or if they were skewed perceptions.

To top things off, my nephew came over for the night. My mom was supposed to watch him, but asked if it’d be fine if I watched him for an hour once they got here, as he’d been talking about me nonstop and also she was tired and needed a break. The mishmash of people out agreed, and an hour an a half passed before she came out again; she didn’t take over though, she went right back to her room and we were left with the nephew the rest of the night, until we got her to put him to bed finally. Like. That’s the same kind of broken promises, let down, betrayal, disappointments, etc that we’re used to. It just kinda happens everywhere it seems. We got the closest we’ve been to feeling suicidal in a long time.

It feels really stupid to get upset over not having the meeting when there was an emergency. J couldn’t help that. She probably didn’t think to call or text me because she was busy helping someone. She probably forgot to call me back when she got to the office because I’m new or something, slipped through the cracks. I shouldn’t have called her at all, programs like this are for other people that really need it, not people like me that are just bothersome. She didn’t call today because she’s still busy; I’m not her only client that she helps and I need to not be selfish.

It still hurts though. Like, it feels like the other shoe fell. I’m hoping not, but, as corny as it sounds, hoping is really hard after a while.

[pumastuffs]

The 30 Day Non-Human Challenge (but all at once and slightly modified)

1. What is your species? I am a puma!

2. Have you told anyone?  Who? I've briefly brought it up with my younger sister, and I've also told my husband.

3. How old were you when you realized you were not human?  What made you realize it? My "official" awakening was a couple years back, sometime around 2012 or 2013.  I've always felt like a cat, and that was when I finally learned a word to briefly summarize my identity.

4. Do you identify as a part of the otherkin or therian community?  What communities do you identify with? When I first discovered the communities, I lurked mainly in the otherkin tags and used 'kin terminology.  With the recent influx of fictionkin in the otherkin community and tags, I've shifted more towards therian spaces.  Nothing against 'em, I just feel more comfortable with the therian crowd.

5. Tell the story of the first person you told. I think the first person I told was my little sister.  I don't remember it all that well, but I think it started as me talking about the concept and then admitting that yeah, I am one.  We're close and she's cool, so it went well.  Basically a "yeah, that makes sense," kind of thing.

6. Have you faced any abuse because of identifying as nonhuman? Nope!  I'm not very vocal about it irl or on my main blog, and I don't tag my personal posts here with the relevant tags, so I have no audience that could turn on me, haha.

7. Do you have a favorite nonhuman character? Judy Hopps!  When the movie came out, I was the same age as her, and I just really loved her personality.  She's a very relatable character and I love her.  I have a lot of "favorite" characters, but she's the first one who came to mind, and also the most recent.

8. Do you believe there should be nonhuman pride?  What do you imagine it being like? It'd be nice to be able to be a bit more open about it in public without fear of being made fun of, but I don't think "pride" is appropriate.  More just general acceptance.

9. What does being nonhuman mean to you? It means experiencing the world as an animal and a human.  It's kind of a best of both worlds situation.  I'm a feline at my core, but I get to do all these fun things that are inherently human experiences.

10. What have other people said about your nonhuman nature? Nothing, really.  The two people I've told have been supportive, but it's not a thing that we actively talk about because it doesn't *need* to be talked about.

11. Nope.

12. Your favorite nonhuman Tumblr site. Kinfood is probably still my favorite, even if they are inactive.  Lots of good recipes, and it was one of the first kin blogs I followed.

13. Your favorite nonhuman website. Buddy, I have no idea.  I know it's a faux pas, but 99% of my online consumption of therian stuff is tumblr.

14. Tell us about a time you met another nonhuman, whether in real life or online. I don't really actively socialize with other people in the community aside from the occasional reply, and I've not met anyone irl, so I don't think I can really say I've met someone.  Encountered, yes; met, no.

15. Your favorite nonhuman celebrity/person. I've forgotten how to spell it, but I did enjoy watching Kaniishta Njaiuk's videos.  Doggrin was also a favorite.  I loved those little rambling videos while they cooked.  Genuineferalswagger was another blog that I enjoyed going through, although they've since deactivated.  I hope all of 'em are doing well.

16. Your favorite nonhuman book (as in, nonhuman characters are the main focus). Anything with cats as the lead, haha.  Redwall is a classic series.  Watership Down is a good one.  I recently remembered The Grand Escape, but I haven't read that since elementary school.

17. Your favorite nonhuman movie. The Lion King is up there.  Zootopia and Brother Bear are also candidates.  I'm really bad at picking favorites.

18. Tell us a funny joke about being nonhuman. Otherkin don’t real.  A classic joke.

19. Is being nonhuman spiritual for you? A complicated question!  I believe that I'm a purposefully misplaced soul that was nurtured by my close relationship with my childhood cat and dogs.  So basically a mix of spiritual and psychological stuff (the latter being some kind of imprinting).  However you spin it, I believe my nonhuman identity was intentional on behalf of a higher power to help me get through life.  It sounds super cheesy, but it's the easiest way to describe it.

20. Tell us a few thoughts about what it's like being your species. Being feline is so innate that it's sometimes hard to pick out feline behavior from normal human traits.  It's comfy, though.  The worst part is being weirdly territorial  on some things; I don't like people touching my things, and I get this weird, uncomfortable feeling when people come over for the first little bit, like they shouldn't be there.

21. Your favorite nonhuman quote. I can't think of any off the top of my head, sorry!

22. What do you believe causes nonhuman identity? It depends on the person, honestly.  For some it's spiritual, for others it's psychological, and it can even be a mixture of both!  All I know is my vague, wishy-washy views based on my own experience.

23. What is your favorite nonhuman pride image? Uh, the theta-delta?  It's a nice little symbol, and it's a little more subtle than shouting "HEY I'M A CAT" from the rooftops, lol.

24. Write something or post a picture about nonhumans that upsets you. I'm a little bothered by the Tumblrkin(tm) taking over and warping the terms and everything.  I'm also weirded out by how fast it went from a small community on this site to literally everyone on tumblr is fictionkin.  I'm not losing sleep over anything, but like, how did this happen?

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against being nonhuman? They're all a little tired at this point, but the "your body is human" is an obvious one.  Like, yeah, of course.  You sure showed me, buddy.

26. Who is your biggest ally? I'm gonna be cheesy and say my husband.  He's not a spiritual person at all, but he accepts my views and gives me scritches and pets and calls me a cat sometimes.  It's nice.

27. What is your favorite type(s) of cake? Ice cream cake is my jam.  Red Velvet is good, too, followed by confetti cake.

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Alternately, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) Pumpkin pie and buttermilk pie are both so good.  I used to think French silk was amazing back in the day, but it's probably a little too rich for me now.  Pie is definitely an acceptable replacement for cake.

29. Where did you first learn about being nonhuman? Here on good ol' tumblr.  I first saw the word on a post someone made about otherkin going into their ask box to complain about their interpretation of a character.  That lead me to looking in the tags to see what it was about, delving into the blogs (of which Tsu's was one of the first), and deciding "hey, this fits."  All of this was shortly before Tsu went off the deep end.

30. Tell us anything about being nonhuman that you want to end with. I did this all in one go so my mind is pretty tapped for comments or good advice or whatever.