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skamamoroma · 4 years

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WTFOCK Season 3 Analysis- Touch and Distance - (Sander focused)

First of all, this will be long. As in, VERY long. If you know me and you followed me at ALL for Skam Italia or WTFOCK ‘analysis’ posts (which I WILL finish) then you’ll know the length to expect… so if you get even half way, you deserve a medal.

So, I have been promising this for a LONG time. I think I first said I’d write this when the reunion clip was released and I just… haven’t but seeing as we’re all in quarantine and I’m doing anything and everything to stay sane in my flat alone and we could all do with stuff to cheer us up, I’m offering this to fandom and I hope it makes you smile.

I think the reason I fell in love with Skam, the format and the intense character focus is because I love just that. I have always had an obsession with strong character driven TV shows/movies and even when I was tiny, I wrote an essay about Mary Poppins because I found her so mysterious and amazing. Shows like Skam and its remakes, when they’re GOOD they’re really really bloody amazing, mainly because they hone in on character detail and really use it for that perfect Skam-esque “show not tell” format. I’ve always found that kind of stuff so interesting and over the years have held this little collection of couples/characters/friendships from allsorts of shows/movies/theatre dear because they celebrate nuance… and Skam just spoils me!!

I have been MASSIVELY impressed with WTFOCK have done with Sander. He feels so fleshed out and dynamic as a character and in SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS too. I think one of the things I was so giddy about was the way they still managed to keep the mystery there while also making it seem like we knew him so well. And we do. But I think that’s the reason it’s so cool because a lot of the things we know about Sander, he hasn’t really TOLD us. We’ve learned it through his actions or from reading into his words, from his reactions to people and the way he lives his life. That, to me, is like crack hahaha. I live for that stuff and for analysing a character and so I became a bit fixated on the way they used touch in season 3.

Now, it’s not just with Sander but with Robbe too. Touch was an ENORMOUS part of the season and we never really EVER had either of them talk about it. Robbe never really expressed verbal discomfort with touch early on but we saw it and Sander never expressed how important touch was to him but we witnessed it...and now we’re watching wtfockdown with Sander specifically struggling with lack of touch. Safe to say, I knew I had to write this eventually and after quite a few messages (you lovely lot), I am doing this for you. Enjoy!

SANDER FIRST...

SANDER.

When it comes to Sander, I feel like I have SO MUCH TO SAY but I think, the most important thing, is that touch is a cornerstone of character in terms of what calms him, what makes him happy, what makes him feel connected, what soothes him, how he expresses love, how he wants to show love, how he flirts… ALL OF IT, and distance is what plagues him.

I re-watched each clip in turn and I’m still obsessed with how they layered his character with this idea. No other Even and not even Even himself has this element so strongly emphasised. Yes, they all like touch and some of the parallels have specific things that form part of their character like Eliott and Lucas and the whole touch of skin thing and Cris/Joana with the hair/cheeks thing and Even always loved to ground himself in touching Isak ETC… but with Sander, it’s such a narrative and it’s woven in so beautifully. ABOVE ALL, what makes me smile and what is so meaningful is that as Robbe grows and opens up and learns about touch himself (see my Robbe post to come), we see that Sander is gifted this really sweet boy who LOVES to touch and who is incredibly affectionate and finds himself learning that he is INCREDIBLY good at providing comfort. So their love story also becomes a story of touch and navigating distance from those perspectives.

I guess writing it out helps to see it so I’ll go chronologically.

The first time we see Sander use touch is when he’s in the kitchen with Robbe. The entire scene is practically choreographed it’s so fluid but the lack of space, the shuffling around each other and the general ‘oh my god this person makes me feel things’ vibe makes the fact that when Sander purposefully touches Robbe for the first time, it’s a THING… that hand on his back. They do kind of brush up against each other a few times but that little linger of the camera on Sander’s hand on Robbe’s back makes me GIDDY because it’s all so intentional. It’s Robbe’s face that does me in. You don’t need his words because he does this sort of glance behind him and a bashful sort of dazed stumble… it’s so obvious that being touched like that by Sander got to him in an overwhelming way. It’s all electricity and that kind of giddy new love thing in the kitchen but that moment KILLS me because it’s touch that Robbe WANTS but doesn’t feel able to have… but Sander gives it because he’s SANDER. He’s demonstrable and purposeful (I will use that word a lot!) with touch.

Sander does stuff in a way that’s bold and purposeful (told you) and touch is part of that. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY - right? So many times, you can see Sander decide and then act immediately. SO MANY TIMES. In the supermarket, feeding Robbe, in the bar when he decides to take Robbe off on an adventure, at the swimming pool ETC. SO MANY. And touch is a thing all wrapped up in that sense of purpose and spontaneity. His actions are mostly not overbearing or unwanted though which is so key. People seem to feel comfortable with him even if he is a little forward and NOBODY more than Robbe. Robbe doesn’t recoil, he lets it happen and not in the passive way we see him do early on but in the OH WOW HE TOUCHED ME way that can only come with attraction and early feelings. BUT THEY HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER HOURS. Hours, and Robbe was fine with it.

Sander and flirting... HE IS SO OBVIOUS and touch is part of it every single time. That whole ‘oops I rolled into you in the sand’ is just textbook, man! Hahaha. I laugh at him early on because he is genuinely adorable with how obvious he is. Same can be said for the “oops I just need to grab this bottle that just happens to be right next to you which means I need to stand so close to you and wrap my arms around you’ - hahahaha. Not to mention the ‘oh let me teach you to turn on the oven and lightly touch our fingers’. Purposeful.

Then you get the first time they’re together alone for their bike ride. I mean, we all know Sander is giddy. It’s what makes it so sweet to watch because he’s just SO HAPPY to have Robbe by himself and to go off on this adventure together. I LOVE the way he holds Robbe’s hand after they high five…. BOY. He takes advantage of stuff while he can. But when they get to the pool, it’s obviously an Even move and we all know how it goes but the first time he touches Robbe is to kiss him. We know it’s all he wanted, we know it was his plan, we know he’s been wanting to do it a long time but I LOVE that they kept in the recoil from Robbe because it is absolutely NOT a gradual progression for Robbe when it comes to Sander… it’s ALL IN and scary and overwhelming and Robbe’s instincts kick in but the second Robbe kisses Sander back, we get the start of seeing Sander and touch being a HUGE DEAL. Robbe is still learning and faced with the way Sander acts first, thinks later, the differences between them in this moment are STARK. It’s why it all goes so catastrophically wrong afterwards but why I understood what Robbe did even if it was so very wrong.

Sander is SUCH an Even and I’ve always said he reminds me of Even the most of all the parallels but especially when he kisses. He’s a passionate dude! He kisses with meaning and with all he has and it’s little wonder Robbe described it as his head exploding… poor guy! You get that first glimpse of Sander acting on his feelings and he’s overwhelming. In that pool, he grasps and holds on and Robbe’s hair becomes a total THING for him.

For me, I get most interested in touch from Chernobyl onwards. THAT CLIP. The stuff in it that’s so subtle but AMAZING when it comes to Sander makes me roll around in it, in the way it MEANS so much and says a lot about who he is. The DISTANCE he keeps from Robbe is not something we’ve seen from him yet. It’s clearly not comfortable for him but he deserves to keep it until he feels comfortable and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he only moves closer but DOESN’T touch Robbe yet. And this next moment is what sparked my obsession…. The “i’m going to nearly kiss you and then not kiss you” moment. He uses touch to make a point. Purposeful. He stands close but they don’t touch and then he teases with it… tests Robbe’s response with it to see what he’d do. Robbe doesn’t move and allows it. He then clarifies how Robbe feels about stuff now and the second he gets his answer … fuck all of that noise and fuck all the issues I had in my head (a sentiment we KNOW Sander understands and grasps onto eventually - Chernobyl being the way he himself describes the effects of his bipolar disorder) he goes all in and closes the distance. KILLS ME. That use of touch to make a point is Sander ALLOVER. Never without purpose.

They don’t STOP touching AT ALL… until it’s used AGAIN. This time, this huge focus on pulling apart. It’s gradual. They disconnect from their bodies then they disconnect from lips and then that lingering shot on their hands and the whole holding on until the very last second…COME ON. It’s so perfect. So intentional and so meaningful. The fact that Sander holds on purposefully for so long until he absolutely can’t anymore, it makes him STUMBLE…. If that’s not a whole metaphor for who he is as a character then I don’t know what is! He WON’T allow that distance until he absolutely has to… and that fact characterises their ENTIRE story right up until wtfockdown!

Onto the cuddle scene and again, from Chernobyl, it’s full of poignant moments. It’s an overload in terms of seeing Sander respond to touch. There’s a lot of touching in this clip, a lot of playful stuff and kisses and cuddles but I think there are a few specifics that are in there for a reason that say so much. The first is the hair stroking. Now, we know Robbe and Sander LOVE touching each other’s hair and there’s a fair amount of pulling involved too… haha… but it’s so telling the way that Sander relaxes under Robbe’s touch. He spends most of that scene with his eyes closed. It relaxes him, makes him sleepy and comfortable and Robbe clearly realises it because when Sander seems distressed, Robbe goes straight to do it again. It’s all part of Robbe’s journey wrapped up in there too, learning how his touch can be soothing.I love that Sander barely moves from his position upside down on the bed. He allows Robbe the ability to do ANYTHING. He lets Robbs move around him, lets Robbe touch him and climb on top of him. He just basks in it and please go rewatch it and watch his eyes even when Robbe is talking… he closes them constantly like it’s making him fall asleep. He’s so comforted by it. When Robbe climbs on him, his eyes are even closed! He’s just VERY VERY happy allowing Robbe anything when it comes to moving around him and in his space. He lets Robbe koala himself on his back without a flinch, is so comfortable with the affection and clearly soaking it all in. I think the other moment is when Sander realises Robbe’s jealousy/upset and goes to very purposefully lie down against him to tuck his head under Robbe’s chin. The purpose in it, at the time, seemed kinda sheepish but we know better now. We KNOW Sander had tried to distance himself from Britt but she wasn’t allowing it and this is Sander purposefully closing that distance, taking it back and seeking Robbe’s touch again. It’s like he’s had that comforting touch now and, without it, it doesn’t feel right so he closes the distance the VERY SECOND he can. He does this a few times from here on out too… that lack of ability to stay apart from Robbe, the wish to keep that comfort coming.

There’s this struggle we see from him AGAIN and AGAIN. When stuff with Robbe suffers because Sander’s truth gets in the way (with Britt texting in the cuddle scene, with their distance before the reunion where Sander tried to leave Robbe behind etc)... he CANNOT wait to remove the distance as quickly as he possibly can. The only exception is when they’ve been apart post hotel and Sander is unwell… but we know he’s frightened, embarrassed, worried about hurting Robbe and we know that he’s trying to keep Robbe at arm’s length to protect him but… and I’ll get onto it later but it’s PERFECT to me that the second he has touch back, the second Robbe kisses him, he crumbles. It means THAT MUCH to him. It’s such a pattern with him and it starts here, with Sander crawling across the bed, not allowing Robbe to be too far away while he still has him.

For me, it epitomises that idea of “i don’t know if I’ll find someone like that, at least not someone who loves me”. Because, for Sander, he WANTS so badly. He wants to be in love and to find someone special and be able to show love but he’s terrified. For such a purposeful person, someone who acts on instinct, that is clearly so hard for him. He WANTS but he has to force himself NOT TO for all of the reasons he gives and for all of the reasons we can read from his behaviour. Those moments he stays away - aka post assault, post hotel - are all for a good reason and yet the second he realises that the worries that lead to his belief that he can’t HAVE are unfounded or resolved, he closes any and all distance and holds on for dear life. “I’m never ever letting go of you”. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY. He either allows himself everything and that ‘all in’ sense of falling head over heels and clinging on for dear life or he cuts and runs… and the cutting/running part honestly must have hurt so badly for him. We know how much Robbe means to him and how much touch and comfort he gets from their relationship… to leave that behind when he can’t remain over the other side of the bed from Robbe normally must have been so hard for him.

ANYWAY. The date. I’ve talked about this endlessly but the first minute or so of this clip is some of the best chemistry I’ve seen in the SCU and, in general, to be honest. It hit me like a freight train when I first saw it. For LGBT+ folks, seeing stuff like this is impactful. Mainly because it’s shown as so natural and normal and given the same respect and focus on desire and sweetness and simplicity as hetero love stories have been given for millenia!

They touch constantly throughout this clip but I just LOVE the focus on it. The camera lingers. Every shot is there for a reason. Sander’s touch goes from playful to casually affectionate to passionate to suggestive within seconds and he drowns in it! It’s mesmerising to watch. Again, it almost feels choreographed. The moment that kills me is Sander just running one finger across Robbe’s collar bone. WHOEVER decided to include that --- director or writer or even actor --- it’s just perfect. It’s so Sander. He doesn’t stop touching and that little focus on the fact that he always wants to show how he feels through touching Robbe...the fact that it is on his skin when Robbe is wearing a full on sweatshirt shows how much Sander seeks intimacy out. It’s so purposeful once again and yet so simple… but the main thing is that Sander uses touch to keep that connection going. The music change at that exact moment is what does it for me. It’s dream-like, swoony and mesmerising. You can feel the dazed sense of love and adoration, the intimacy of the fact that Sander can’t help but hold onto Robbe’s hair again and even when he’s whispering to him, can’t help but chase it with kisses. Sander uses every thought and feeling he has inside and translates it directly into touch. He communicates with it!

Which leads pretty nicely onto the reunion… because the next time we have Sander able to reach out physically is SO MUCH LATER. The assault, the distance Robbe enforces (for good reason because of what he believes happened at the party) and then the confusion about the mural creates SO MUCH DISTANCE.

The start of the reunion clip is one of my all time favourite SCU moments from any remake. The acting is near perfection. I’ve posted tons about it before but GOD. I love that, to this point, after that intense, hazy kind of love they were starting in the bar… everything was torn away from them. As I said before, Sander is either ALL IN or not at all. When he’s in, he’s REALLY in and touch is fundamental.

So it KILLLLLLSSSSSS MEEEEEEE (Yes, I am being dramatic but GOD) that the first thing he does when he walks in the foyer of Robbe’s building, without explanation and after so long apart and so much mess existing between them is… close the distance between them physically.

This scene reminds me of the La Grotta scene from Skam It s2. Every touch and movement in that scene with Marti and Nico is a form of communication and it’s the same here. I guess it’s why I love both scenes so much because ‘show not tell’ is precious and intelligent and so so much more meaningful for a viewer. The way Sander just stands there and then without words, kisses Robbe and tries to do what he can normally do so easily and communicate through his touches is heartbreaking. But too much has gone on. It’s not possible to communicate that way after so much hurt and confusion.

Then that forehead touch. GOD. I remember watching it and being so bowled over without how much was SAID by both of them. The way that Sander leans into it like he KNOWS he can’t use kisses to sort it all out but just NEEDS comfort and Robbe’s touch… and the way Robbe lets himself have it for a moment but then makes genuine crying noises of frustration to get Sander to stop. The “I want this so much but stop, it’s not fair what you’re doing” is so obvious in his actions. It’s all because it’s how they communicate. BECAUSE touch is their love language, the fact that they can’t give into it is PHYSICALLY painful for them both. They both just stand there with their eyes closed. Sander looks exhausted, devastated but also so deeply comforted by Robbe’s presence and the fact that he can be close to him again in equal measure. Robbe lets out this big sigh and it screams “I know, I feel the same, this feels so right and I miss you so much but I can’t let you forget everything that happened” - YET THEY DON’T STOP TOUCHING. I love that regardless, they stay connected and cannot physically part themselves. It’s written all over Sander’s face how much it means to have Robbe so close and Robbe’s little nose rub is plain adorable. They are literally standing there comforting each other while at the same time trying to communicate through nothing but touch… and the RELIEF in those touches too.

It’s little wonder that what happens next happens in the way it does. Those few words from Sander and the touches between them are enough for them to just KNOW. Their connection is so fundamental that it’s worth fighting through and relying on that gut instinct for them.

Sander is then able to do what he’s good at and be purposeful, firm and to throw himself into it. ALL THE WAY. Once he knows he is ok again, that he has permission and is allowed to let his heart go, he just falls into it and it’s ALL TOUCHING from then on. Every kiss is so meaningful and there are a few specific moments that are really meaningful to me.

The first one is Sander’s smile when he lands on the bed. He is never happier than when he’s able to be free like this. He revels in the ability to throw himself into his feelings. He’s ridiculously enviable tbh. The next moment is the whole clawing, clinging thing he does. Yet again, poor Robbe’s hair gets yanked every which way but I love that we get that glimpse of ‘never letting you go’ mentality he has to keep Robbe as close as physically possible and the way he closes his eyes, smiles and loses himself in those moments. They’re so close to Sander POV it’s crazy. It reminds me of during the cuddle scene when he closed his eyes. Touch grounds him in the most astounding way! I LOVE that the lyrics during this as “take it how you want it, take all my love”. PERFECT, man. That idea of give and take is SO IMPORTANT for them, for Sander especially. The ALL THE WAY mentality he has means that he could only EVER fall in love with someone who is able to counter it, someone who is able to GIVE IN to Sander the way he needs and lose themself too the way he likes. He could only ever fall in love with someone as willing to give and take the way that he is with comfort… and Robbe fits the bill, which is obviously as much of a surprise to him too! I think that’s where their connection comes in. That spark between them and the way they feel for each other is one of contentment so they’re quite happy taking what they need from the other person because the other is SO GIVING. Robbe is so affectionate which is what Sander craves and Sander is so purposeful and bold in his ways which is what Robbe needs. The last moment is the hand holding. Again, Sander is grounded by that physical connection. He clings and holds on and receives so much comfort from it. The knowledge that they’re in something together is clearly huge for them both.

The morning after scene is most meaningful in terms of touch when they get into Robbe’s room. I LOVE how natural it all is. Sander is very happy letting Robbe do what he wants again and it’s almost seamless for Robbe just to sit on his lap. But he’s completely incapable of reigning himself in. The purposeful side of Sander comes out in full distraction mode with Sander genuinely incapable of keeping his hands to himself. The whole playful kind of sexy “I’ll throw you around” thing is not only them at peak comfort with each other but Sander’s way of physically showing he’s not going anywhere, of reminding Robbe that he’s all Sander’s attention is on and all he cares about and that he can DO this now, just toss Robbe onto the bed and crawl all over him - hahahaha. He treats Robbe like he’s precious and completely focused on but also treats Robbe perhaps the way HE wants to be treated… those promises followed by touching with a little possessiveness, that reminder that he won’t be left alone. He gives it all to Robbe and in true Sander style, tries to communicate through touch as much as he possibly can because words mean honesty and they mean a risk of losing it all.

The next notable moment is YET AGAIN, Sander playing with touch when he arrives at the flat. The “nope, Robbe, you’re not getting what you want until we do this fun thing I want to do with you to create a tradition”. He does it twice, playing with denying Robbe touch and physical contact. He has a task to do and he needs Robbe focused on it so he uses touch to keep that focus sharp… and then the fact that the VERY SECOND that task is done, Sander literally walks straight into Robbe’s arms and kinda carries him off towards Robbe’s room makes me laugh. He’s like “ok touching is allowed right this instant” … he knows himself. If he’d have allowed them to touch before he did his task, there’d have been ABSOLUTELY NO SHOE PUT OUT! He’s self aware ;)

Then the hotel… and oh my heart breaks and is soothed in equal measure because this evening was HANDS DOWN one of my most favourite Skam watching experiences. It is gut wrenching in real time and so beautifully acted, I can’t handle it, especially from Willem DS. That kid can act rings around most professional Hollywood actors. They both can. Yet another Skam remake showcasing young talent at its most special and honest. Anyway, I digress!

The shower scene has to be talked about. The show runners etc explained why they included it where the original didn’t (although planned to!) and I get why some found it a little too much but, for them, it worked. I mean, I’m not the person to talk about sex scenes but I definitely CAN talk tons about them when they’re MEANINGFUL and layered and this one is. It’s complete and utter trust. I love so much of the camera work here because you can see they tried to be as respectful as possible while also getting the meaning across and it worked so well… especially as the stuff that clicks for me is Sander’s behaviour. He’s so lost in it. Again, he’s someone who acts on instinct and needs someone who will respond to him with understanding. If someone’s not on the same page then he’s THROWN (and this is why the whole cyber sex things is killing me with its meaning for him!). Again with Robbe’s hair being pulled all over the place but Sander allows himself take and be taken and it’s so important to who he is that it’s ALL THE WAY kind of love and that he’s allowed to be both in control and also completely vulnerable.

The way they segue into the shot of the bed and sander is completely wrapped up in Robbe’s arms kills me. There’s no one right way for them. Touch comes to Sander in his ability to be DEMONSTRABLE and also to RECEIVE. In these moments, he just snuggles into Robbe and takes and takes and takes and takes… but only because Robbe is so perfectly willing to provide. It’s why they work. That balance is what is so key about their relationship. Sander feels ok to suddenly go from firm and handsy to extremely vulnerable and the shot when the camera closes in on his face so serene and at ease, happy to be kissed repeatedly on the forehead by Robbe is just incredibly meaningful and emotional. He is allowed to be himself and to fall into it without worry even when he’s at his most vulnerable. He basks in it and it’s so comforting to watch. I love that he plays with Robbe’s necklace because not only is it him looking at a guardian angel around Robbe’s neck but it’s like a tick to ground him and comfort him right back. A touch to something so fundamentally Robbe.

The segue into the second clip where Sander is even MORE wrapped up in Robbe’s arms breaks my heart. I remember seeing the og Skam cuddle clip all those years back and realising that my god, I’d never seen affection from an LGBT+ couple before in that innocent, gentle, normal way! It’s sad that this was the case but it’s why Skam got under my skin and why the s3 storyline is always so precious to me. This is yet another example but throw in the respect shown to mental illness in a really human and raw way and I’m gone. I love that Sander is able to be so cuddly and open without worry. He’s going through it, struggling and when this clip aired I remember almost every post in the tag was about his eyes, the frantic eyes showing that so much is going on inside his head while he lies there still, soaking up the comfort Robbe is willing to provide. The antithesis is insane but works so well. Robbe has no idea that he’s effectively holding Sander together. He’s clinging on. He’s doing what he always said he would and never letting Robbe go.

The night time switch into Sander’s struggles hurts because he’s still trying so hard not to let go but his brain is struggling, he’s panicking, he’s not in control of himself and he’s scared. You can see it all over his face, in his eyes and body language that he WANTS to stay with Robbe and when Robbe asks him to come back, tries to pull him back to cuddle, Sander goes because he ALWAYS DOES. He tries so so hard till he can’t try anymore and that distance is forced upon him. It was devastating to watch in real time because we all KNEW what was going to happen (we’d seen it all before) but, for some reason, the way Sander was and what we’d learned about him made him being separated from Robbe in this vulnerable state really upsetting. He was so happy in Robbe’s arms, so comforted and then all of sudden it was gone.

The fact that the cycle happens again to lead us into the next time we see Sander physically WITH Robbe is just crazy meaningful because this time, Sander’s truth is not able to be hidden. He can’t use touch to distract and to ignore his thoughts and reality. Everything about the way he acts is out of shame and embarrassment and fear of not being loved for who he is - flaws and all. When I eventually finish my analysis posts, I have SO MUCH to say about this but my goodness, Sander is the only Even aside from Eliott who doesn’t reach out and they both have that same feeling of shame in common. The difference is that Sander actively tries to hide away, to push Robbe away and ACTS on what the other Evens said aka I’ll hurt you, it won’t work, I should leave… he physically does that. The thing that makes me a little misty eyed is the fact that he also provides Robbe with information to help find him. He desperately wants Robbe to be the only one to find him while also simultaneously wanting him as far away from him as possible. He’s done it before with the mural, that “I love you and I need to show you but I can’t be with you”. It’s that desperate pull they have that just ends in mess but at the core has such love and comfort. Sander has run away from everyone, hasn’t reached out to any of them except Robbe and it’s his way of closing that distance even if he’s so sure Robbe is better off without him. Why else would he send Robbe that message, effectively using their history and experience to suggest where he is. Robbe was all he wanted, was all that comforted him (hence the drawings all over the walls) and the fact that when Sander is found, he kept pushing and pushing and pushing and resisting and falling apart through grief and pain and shame and every other negative feeling that overwhelms him… but STILL follows when Robbe asks. He’s trying so hard for the NO WAY of it all but it was never going to work. The fact that when Robbe properly touches him, he falls apart is just about the most obvious thing for me. Robbe is comfort and safety. He may not have all of the answers but just being close is so clearly and viscerally affecting for Sander that he collapses and lets Robbe take the weight of him both literally and metaphorically. That touch is all he needs to fall back into ALL THE WAY and let himself believe.

The fact that the next scene starts with Sander, completely wrapped around Robbe, their skin touching and Robbe stroking Sander’s hand just goes to show how much he allowed himself to use that touch again not only as comfort but as belief that he doesn’t need to mask things anymore. He doesn’t need to pretend and hide his reality, he can be open and vulnerable and also have the ALL THE WAY too. Robbe is that solid warm weight and reassurance. The purposeful Sander is still buried there, it’s just the vulnerability is too overwhelming and so he relies so much on Robbe here to provide what he needs. And god BLESS Robbe’s enormous affectionate heart because he’s perfect with him. Sander clearly meant the words from the day before, signifying he really expected Robbe to change his mind in the morning...those really quiet questions in the dark to Robbe are just heartbreaking because he needs reassurance. Robbe closes the distance to him, gets so close, kisses him multiple times, presses their foreheads together and doesn’t judge… and Sander is completely comforted enough to be able to fall asleep.

THEN… one of my ultimate favourite moments of Sander and touch. It’s like a culmination of EVERYTHING we’ve learned about Sander (and also it’s the same for Robbe but I’ll leave that for my Robbe post!!). He’s still vulnerable but getting back to his usual self a little playing games with Milan and you can see the spark in his eyes, the way he uses his words again to assert how he feels but, above all, it’s that contrast between him asking for a kiss and leaning back into Robbe in this purposeful way that’s perfectly softened by the fact it’s him receiving and seeking comfort too. It’s then that both sides of Sander come together and the fact he’s found what he seeks it in one person is so special. Robbe is EVERYWHERE. He’s all hands in Sander’s hair, legs either side of him, resting his chest against Sander’s back, holding his head gently, kissing everything he can get his lips on (mouth, nose, head, hair) and then settling with his arms around Sander’s neck. It’s EVERYTHING. Sander has shown from the start in most things he does how much touch is important in terms of asserting himself, seeking comfort and showing love and in this tiny little scene it has ALL THREE and is why they are both so dear to me as a pair. It’s INCREDIBLY romantic and very reassuring for anyone who has ever struggled in the way Robbe or Sander has… because it confirms that it is possible for people with specific needs and people who have been shaped by their experiences and come out of it with certain needs and vulnerabilities are able to be loved completely without judgement.

“In good time, you’ll come to know, when you release, when you let go, you can find yourself where you belong”

The best thing though is the way that Sander responds in this moment. He shakes his head and smiles to himself like he’s coming out of a trance. That little ‘yeah’ is adorable. That moment is enough to say all there is about what touch means to Sander as a human being and a partner. For a moment, Robbe helps him forget, sends him a little dizzy with love, gives Sander overwhelming comfort that Sander disappears into it and, as cheesy as it sounds, they fit. It’s exactly what all of the Even and Isak parallels had, that ‘i save you, you save me right back’ love story. They all did it in different ways but with these two, I was stunned with how much they put into the unspoken, especially with Sander. We don’t see him as much, we don’t get inside his head like Robbe’s but we still understand him, possibly more than any other Even parallel by the end of season 3 and this is the season closest to the original for unanswered questions! It’s why I don’t at all mind questions left unanswered and a lack of exposition and clean cut resolution because if the emotion is there and the nuance is there then it does half of it for you.

I love that the final scene of the season, for Sander purposes, is him wrapped in Robbe’s arms! It’s kinda poetic.

I love his character so much. He’s insanely expressive and complex and he’s fascinating to me and to have WTFOCKDOWN is a total gift...because not only does it give us insights we’d never have gotten otherwise, we get this continuation of Robbe and Sander’s relationship and what is it about…. TOUCH. Hahaha. I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect topic for exploration of who they are together as a starter for ten, not to mention it’s so Sander focused too!

When it comes to Wtfockdown, we get to see Sander operating in enforced distance. We KNOW that when distance has been a thing in the past, he has tried everything he can to make up for it (murals, drawings, reaching out to Robbe cryptically). That compensation for the distance never ever worked. It always made it so that when Sander eventually had Robbe close again, he threw himself back in head first and touch was HUGE when it came to that. Now, Sander has Robbe completely and vice versa and no doubt knows fully what it is like to have that comfort and touch all of the time… but now it has been taken away. For Robbe, he’s an affectionate koala of a human but his relationship with touch has been a journey of discovery and of self but he doesn’t depend on it like Sander does. He communicates with it but, for Sander, it’s a vital part of who he is. I love that the first clip has Sander asking to meet up… hahaha. I remember being so giddy reading that because OF COURSE. He’s trying everything he can again. Then he broke my heart because this time, his form of compensation is to take Robbe with him on his walks. It’s yet ANOTHER form of compensation to try to fill that void where touch once was!

Clip 2 starts their face to face journey and GUYS. I mean, Sander flat out saying that the thing he misses most about Robbe is his touch just about broke my heart and made me giddy once again! They really did that. He’s so happy to see Robbe, to spend time with him but over and over again he’s repeating ways to stop the distance like swapping places with Robbe’s mamma…! Bless his heart. The fact that he says “there’s nothing better than you”, he REALLY does mean it. We’ve seen a whole season of why that’s the truth! We’ve seen him reach that conclusion! Also, that compensation once again on dreams and daydreaming… ANY WAY HE CAN to stop the distance. He breaks my heart.

Clip 3...ONCE AGAIN. “The endlessness of this tunnel symbolises the physical distance between them”. He cannot cope with it. This one made me a bit emotional when I first saw it. They’re not just words for his fairytale; he means them. The distance is DIFFICULT for him. You can see it on his face when he says those words, he frowns. He’s speaking the truth even if he’s making it seem a little light hearted. Then that little private moment where it says he just wants to be with Robbe. It’s genuinely incredibly hard for him to not have Robbe nearby. For someone who thrives and depends so much on touch, the distance is painful and a genuine loss. It’s not just ‘i miss my boyfriend’ because there’s a real nuance there, a real part of who Sander is that prioritises touch and closeness so significantly.

Clip 4. It took me FAR too long to get through this clip the first time around because I SHOULD NOT BE SEEING THIS but hey ho. I watched it again for you, dudes. Sander’s on the quest for compensation for the distance again, this time trying something new and yea, it’s a risk but he means it. It’s something he wants to try because it’s Robbe and it’s fun and he loves him and misses him and feels like it’s another way to feel like the distance isn’t so vast. The moment Robbe tells him he’s not into it, Sander looks a little crushed but immediately understands and lies down. Now, for me, I might be reading so much into it but because we have seen what touch means, as a stand in for it, and Sander now feeling so comfortable with Robbe, that moment of ‘I’ve gone too far’, ‘we’re not on the same page’ is huge for them. Sander can’t find what he’s looking for during the distance and you can see he feels so embarrassed but the moment he laughs at himself, tells Robbe that just lying together is enough and respects Robbe, you can see him trying to get back on that even plane. He loves Robbe so much and would never want to make him feel uncomfortable but for that split second, the comfort they have built wavered and Sander’s ability to be completely vulnerable was questioned… until it wasn’t and all was well for the moment because they talk and love and try. I love that they did that. I love that Sander’s inherent need for closeness was brought to light and Robbe’s need to GIVE affection was shown to be so true… only in person. Robbe thrives off that honest touch whereas Sander is grounded by it, comforted by it and finds it necessary...so without it is left floundering. THE LAYERS, guys. Rolling around in them!!!!

Clip 5 and we see Sander questioning himself. Sander still hasn’t quite felt ok since the other night and he’s letting it affect him. That questioning himself is the same stuff we saw pre-final reunion where he allows his issues to cloud his judgement and he spirals a little when left to his own devices. It’s that insecurity that Robbe managed to settle in him, that push and pull they have but Sander is human and he’s struggling and Robbe’s not there to provide that settlement. He doesn’t RELY on Robbe so much as WANT him because he makes things better. The fact that all the while, Robbe is learning how far his own ability to provide affection and closeness from afar is able to go by seeking advice from Milan makes me want to weep… because the writing is perfect! Of course he is. Everything we know about him tells us he’d do this!

So we’re in present day and I can’t wait to see what they do next. The way they write these two separately and together shows so much understanding of who the characters are, what they mean to each other and this great respect for honouring what they’ve created with so much gentle nuance and emotion. If the past 50000000000 words didn’t suggest it clearly enough - I love what they’re doing so much!

If you’re still awake after all that, you’re super human. Thank you for reading and this post is LONG overdue but it’s here and as rambly as you’d expect. Robbe’s specific post will be along soon! <3

#wtfock

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spnreactions · 4 years

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BTS: Inside: Unity

Hey all!

I have a lot for to react to and catch up on today! From Behind-the-Scenes, to Featurettes, to Promotional Material, there’s a lot for us to look at.

So let’s get started with the BTS of “Unity”.

Link

Haha that line still makes me laugh. XD

“We got one Jack.” And that still makes me cry-laugh-screech. XD <3

ALEX!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Yep, I am still laughing at Adam. XD XD

WHY DO ALL THE THINGS FROM THAT EPISODE KEEP REMINDING ME THAT DEAN SAID THAT??!!! STOOOOOOP!!!

Although, side note from that: I’ve decided I’m not really mad at Dean anymore. After thinking about my own analysis and the analyses I’ve read from other people, I really do believe that he didn’t mean it, especially after remembering that Dean ran all worried to Jack at the end. I mean, between Dean’s own desperation and emptiness, and between Chuck’s manipulation of their actions to get them to the point they were at, I feel like the Dean that said that isn’t really the Dean I love so much, because he’s just so broken right now. That’s why he needed Sam to pull him back. While I don’t necessarily forgive him all the way--and I won’t until he does apologize to Jack for real, not just with a “thank you”--I understand why he said what he said, and as much as it hurts my heart, I know he didn’t really mean it. Not after everything that the two of them and their whole family have been through.

Anyways.

God why is Alex so cute? Like, he’s in his home, totally natural and just chilling, and god he’s adorable.

But, like, he’s also hot, and I don’t understand how that combination could possibly make sense, but it does okay??

ANYWAYS. (Wow I’m really getting sidetracked this team. Sorry peeps. XD)

Yeah except he’s not gonna do it because no.

And also because Chuck sucks.

YES! They do! We all do! I mean, I’m a little less hopeful after that episode, BUT I STILL HAVE FAITH IN MY BOYS!

Okay, so I don’t think I need to do too much ending analysis here, since I kind of accidentally put all of my analysis in the actual reactions this time, but that’s okay!

One thing I do want to share though:

As much as this episode broke me, and as shaken and upset as I was after I watched it, I’m ranking this episode as #5 on my list of favorite episodes. Because yes, it hurt and it tore at my heartstrings, but d**n was it beautifully done, and it was a great fourth-to-last episode in our final season. Everything is building up, tensions are high, and I’m really looking forward to seeing what happens next. (Also, in case you were wondering, my top five, in order, are Fan Fiction, The French Mistake, Swan Song, Baby, and, now, Unity).

I think that’s all I have for that one! Let’s move on!

P.S. Have I mentioned that I love him?

#spn #supernatural #spn season 15 #season 15 #15x17 #unity #bts #behind the scenes #featurettes #alexander calvert #jack kline #spn spoilers #my reactions #my opinions #my thoughts #my theories #spn reactions

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lifedxbt · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?

I use canon as a base to grow from. Ofc a lot of my characterisation is HC based, or taking tiny bits of canon and twisting it a little. I try to follow canon where I can on Tseng -- but a lot of that is trying to analyse lines and mannerisms that might mean absolutely nothing.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He has so much depth and detail -- His entire character is based around two ideas; Nothing is more precious than a life AND Anything to complete a mission. The mental conflict is so fun to write and play with, its so fun to pick him apart

He cares so much about the people he deems worthy. He would kill for you, if you make yourself special for him.

Really dark content

Beautifully composed and controlled asshole

He’s so fucking pretty like look at this man???? He’s so pretty hes so hot

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

He’s very much an asshole and can be quite aggressive

Hes really hard to ship with in a romantic sense if you’re writing anyone other than like... three muses. Even then??

Really dark content

It’s can be really hard to write with him considering he’s quite... Uncontactable? I suppose. It’s hard to put him in certain situations

Because he’s an important character in the lives of other characters(in particular; Aerith, Zack, the Turks), my Tseng might absolutely conflict with the Tsengs people write into their backstories and thats so valid

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I really wanted to write a Turk. I really wanted to write someone within ShinRa because there are so many wonderful ShinRa blogs and I wanted to interact with them from the same side, not as Cloud. And Lazard and Angeal weren’t giving me that so... A new muse. Reno was out because my partner is going to write him eventually -- even if I have to bully them into it. And then Tseng wasn’t going to be my choice either because I know a friend had mentioned writing him once? And i didnt want to step on toes. But Rude isn’t my type and I kept getting drawn back to Tseng.

So I made a blog for a character I barely knew and fell in love with him entirely

What keeps your inspiration going?

I really love meta. I love having a character I can deconstruct and pick apart and just completely unravel. Tseng is really good for that and.. It’s not overdone? I started getting really self conscious about my Cloud because there are so many Clouds. With Tseng I feel a little less lost in a sea of duplicates. -- I don’t follow any duplicates on this blog because Tseng was such a new muse and I was terrified of accidentally stealing HCs and ideas.

So yeah deconstructing canon is really fun for me. But so is talking to people, plotting with people and building characters relationships.

And honestly, people keep praising my dialogue and I cannot put into words how much that inspires me to keep writing. Dialogue is one of my favourite things to write and I’m so so glad people think it’s good.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. - I actually think I do and I’m proud of myself for that

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. - Bully me into writing more

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

Not really. Mostly because the things I write tend to be based off layers of unseen headcanons and thoughts. I feel like, if I got criticism that I didn’t request, I’d end up rambling and trying to justify myself and then feeling very off. I don’t write for anyone besides myself and my writing partners. There are other Tsengs you can write with if you don’t like mine.

What I do accept tho, is suggestions. More from people I write with but like ‘hey instead of X have you considered Y’.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

Yes please give them please please

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Theyre welcome to disagree with me but i dont see the point of making that known. I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I write - but I don’t necessarily need them to tell me.

The exception here is backstory. Personally, I have headcanons around Tseng being the one to teach Rufus to shoot. Thats not blog canon because I don’t put people in weird positions. If its headcanon based on other muses and the muns of said muses dont agree, im more interested in that discussion.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I truly dont mind. I write Tseng how I want to write him and thats that. Though people dont need to tell me they dont like my content. I dont know why people feel so entitled to that. just unfollow me and move on

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

I don’t care? People are allowed to hate characters. Just dont like, aggressively hate my muse @ me?

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

Yeah but preferably whoever im writing with

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

Yeah I’m just... chill. Im very low maintenance as a friend too, you dont need to talk to me a lot or anything to keep me interested.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @gyahahahaha this was v fun thank Tagging: for once im gonna tag someone cause @unattainabledreams is back and i wanna bully them

#god this was long #[Dash meme]

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emeraldtawny · 5 years

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[Sex Worker AU] Kenshin x MC: What Is Love? (Pt 1/3)

Welp...you guys wanted him so he’s up first~! Of course you guys HAD to choose the boi I’m the least confident in writing for, but hey I can only improve, right? ;3

Who knows when the next part will be out, but hopefully this sets everything up nicely for you all. Hope you enjoy~! ^w^

Gigolo. It wasn’t a title he could honestly say he hated; it was more the connotations that came with it.

Everyone automatically assumes his work involves sexual favours, sexual appeasement - everything sex. But that isn’t Kenshin. The beauty of his work means he doesn’t have to deal with the bother of appeasing women in that way, something he purposefully distances himself from. He saw no benefit in physical attachments, his past a canvas awash with heartache and discord, hues of reds staining and seeping in to leave him tattered and saturated in the mistakes of his past.

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring himself to throw away the ruined canvas, the constant reminder of his distress is his self-destroying way to make sure never to go back - never to let anyone get that close to him again.

But then, there was her.

…

The day is mild as she readjusts the scarf wrapped snugly around her neck to banish the chill. She clicks her phone to life to check the time, the photo background of her and her friends never failing to bring a smile to her face: Sasuke’s insistence on flashing a peace sign, Yukimura’s confused expression pointed at him, Shingen’s playful wink as he plays up to the camera. And Kenshin’s stoic, uninterested stare, his eyes piercing her every time she meets them, the effect his stare has on her still strong even without his physical presence.

(Where is Kenshin? The guys have said he’s been busy lately, but work for a whole week without a break?)

She frowns slightly at her phone, letting her gaze linger on her lock screen before pocketing it. In the short couple of months since she first met them in the cafe on that fateful day, she likes to think that they’ve all grown pretty close. Sasuke was right - despite their taboo work, they are all wonderful people she has come to truly care about. The nature of their work still makes her uncomfortable despite herself, but it’s a hurdle she knows she can overcome.

The streets are relatively sparse as she continues on her way, her eyes naturally wandering to glance at the shop windows and their immaculate displays. The stagnant thought of Kenshin’s absence remains idle in her mind, and she lets her mind drift back to an earlier conversation.

[ “Hey, Sasuke? Kenshin said he was a gigolo, right? Do you...happen to know what that entails?”

“Hmm, I myself haven’t asked about details, but from what I gather he acts more like an escort than as a traditional male prostitute. He has mentioned that despite working in the sex industry, he personally stays away from anything of the sort.”

“Huh? But then, why is he in the industry if he doesn’t even like it?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know, ___. That would be something you would have to ask him yourself.” ]

(An escort, huh? Like, arm candy for women? I can’t imagine Kenshin being like that.)

So lost in her thoughts, she barely registers the person in front of her until after she bumps into their shoulder. Blinking in shock and stumbling slightly to regain her balance, she whirls around.

“I’m sorr--oh!”

Her apology dies on her lips and her eyes widen as hues of the sea and forest meet hers, his own gaze flickering with shock in return.

The shoulder she bumped into belonged to none other than the very man on her mind. Dressed in a royal blue button-up shirt with a black blazer and jeans, he looks like a contemporary model, the way his blonde hair perfectly sculpts the unfairly chiselled line of his jaw only strengthening the case.

A small cough purposefully made to draw one’s attention does just that, her eyes meeting those a woman, her arm looped comfortably - and in a very showboating way - around Kenshin’s bicep. She is an older woman - around her mid-40s - and dressed to the nines. Her hair is pulled to the side in an elegant bun, the cut of her dress showcasing her slender collarbone and fitting her shape beautifully; one wouldn’t guess she was an older woman from afar, only up close could the subtle crow’s feet etched into the corners of her eyes be noticed, giving an indication of her experience in life.

“I understand he’s handsome, my dear, but you should at least finish the apology before letting your eyes wander.”

Her lightly reprimanding teasing tone makes her blink, a wave of embarrassment rushing through her.

“Uh, sorry. I wasn’t stuttering because of that. I--”

“Oh?” She cuts her off, her eyes crinkling as they narrow, analysing her closely.

She sinks back under her scrutinising gaze, unsure of where to direct her own.

“I would ask you not to intimidate her, Madame.”

Kenshin, who has remained silent, finally speaks, tugging his arm softly to draw the woman’s eyes up to him.

“She’s...a friend. We met outside of work and she knows nothing of my work except in name.”

The woman’s lips purse. Meanwhile, she lets out a silent breath at Kenshin’s saving words, scared she was about to be death-stared into the ground by a woman she had never met. After a moment, the older woman’s lips curl into a refined yet jovial smile, a small reserved chuckle leaving her.

“Ah, what was I thinking? Of course you’re not a client of his. I could have easily guessed that from your appearance alone, but professional jealousy got the better of me.”

Both she and Kenshin blink at the woman’s words, unsure if they heard her correctly.

“Excuse me?”

She meets her gaze, her rouge lips maintaining a kind smile but her eyes dance like a snake’s, taunting and circling its defenceless prey, “Oh, I mean no offence, my dear. It’s just that this man is quite highly sought after by the elites of this city. Someone of your...calibre wouldn’t be lucky or rich enough to afford his services.”

Her aimed jab is precise as it sinks into her heart, piercing in and letting her emotions loose to consume her being. Sadistically predatory eyes crinkle her crow’s feet further as she watches the young girl drop her gaze to the ground.

Her arm around Kenshin’s tightens as she pulls him with an authoritative air, “Come now, Kenshin. We have more to do.”

The clicking of her heels against the pavement echo for one step, then two. Then they stop, the additional two clicks less graceful as her feet stumble to keep herself upright. Kenshin stands steadfast, his form refusing to budge as the woman tried to walk away, his eyes trained on the younger woman still staring at her feet.

“Kenshin. Don’t forget what I’m paying you for your services and the conditions in place.” The silent threat in her tone has Kenshin looking over his shoulder to meet her eyes, his heterochromatic gaze as contrasting as the icy burn of his glare aimed at the woman.

“That gives you no reason to insult ___ so callously. I already told you she has no place in my work life, so leave your petty jealousy aside when you speak to her.”

The woman baulks, eyebrows shooting up in clear shock. “You...you used her name. You--”

Her stuttering halts at his hand resting atop hers to re-secure her grip on him, “Enough of this pointless chatter. You had more to do, didn’t you Madame?”

“Y-Yes, I did.” The woman clears her throat to compose herself, but the shock dilating her pupils still remains, “Let’s go, then.”

“Of course, Madame.”

Kenshin casts one more cursory glance at his friend, her face still cast down yet her eyes peek up at him through the veil of her hair. His eyes narrow, his facial expression complex and just before he turns his back and walks away--

“I’m sorry, ___.”

She blinks, her face frozen in shock. The softness of his voice, she wasn’t sure if it was the same man she has known with how frail his words fell from his mouth. Compared to the robotic monotone of his voice as he addressed the other woman, she wasn’t sure if what she just heard was something her confused brain conjured up just to toy with her more. Left gobsmacked and confused, the only thing she can do is watch him walk away.

(He...apologised?)

Kenshin wasn’t one for the flowery language of compliments and apologies, so having those words - words seemingly unheard of in Kenshin’s vocabulary - leave his lips, she knew he was genuinely sorry for what happened.

She wills her legs to turn around and carry her home, determined to put the entire incident behind her. Yet the encounter plays like a broken record on repeat in her mind and she reaches up to tug the scarf tighter still around her neck, hoping in vain that this will somehow cut off the thoughts from crawling into her mind and infesting her every thought.

Unbeknownst to her, he was hoping for the same, his sculpted lips pursed together in both thought and irritation as he grasps at reason to keep his attention on the woman he adorns for the day. The words she speaks go mostly missed by Kenshin, as they so often do, but this time his focus is infinitely more clouded; his mind is back with her, her downcast expression, the glimmer of shock highlighting the bright hues of her eyes. He can’t get her out of his head.

The two will never know how perfectly they share their turmoil, nor how both of them reach the same conclusion:

(I need to know more.) (She needs to know more.)

#ikesen #ikesen fanfic #ikesen kenshin #sex worker AU #is this gonna be a more convoluted plot than it needs to be?#HECK YEAH IT IS!!!

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effxrvescentrose-blog · 5 years

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ℝ𝕀ℂℍ𝔼ℝ 𝕋ℍ𝔸ℕ 𝔻𝕀𝔸𝕄𝕆ℕ𝔻𝕊 𝕆ℝ 𝕁𝕌𝕊𝕋 𝔸 𝕃𝕀𝕋𝕋𝕃𝔼 ℂℍ𝔼𝔸ℙ𝔼ℝ 𝕋ℍ𝔸ℕ 𝕊ℙ𝕀𝕋 ? 𝕒 𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕒 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕟𝕫𝕒 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

i humbly entitle this aesthetic ‘ laziness ‘. i dislike making graphics, and am exhausted, and therefore mashed together images in my photo folder. anyway, i did put a lot of work in the playlist though, which is below, which hopefully makes up for shoddy graphics.

ℕ𝕆 𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝔼𝕃𝕊𝔼- 𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕒, 𝕡𝕚𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕖, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟-𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕧𝕖

i have selected ‘ no one else ‘ for the reason as to how excellent it suits the softer & romantic side of rosana. it is undeniable to say that there is a fire and spark within rosana, lips flirtatious naturally, and hardly minding of the rules that correlate to her status- but despite that, rosana truly holds a softer romantic side within her. she wants something real in her life, she wants love, the sort that angels sing of, and that make her feel so blissfully happy. she’s currently undertaking an affair, but even in that, she earnestly views there to be something deeper within. it isn’t to anyone specific, this song, but it proves more as a lyrical representation of the hopes and dreams within rosana, and how she visualises love to truly be. also, i would be speaking false if i didn’t say i was injecting Some natasha rostova into rosana. the great comet / war and peace ? loves of my life !

𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℂ𝕆𝕌ℕ𝕋𝔼𝕊𝕊 𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℂ𝕆𝕄𝕄𝕆ℕ 𝕄𝔸ℕ- 𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕒

another musical song ! because that is all this glorious disaster shall be. anyway, i chose this one, for the fact it pertains to a specific relationship in the life of rosana. she is currently engaged in an affair with the count of orem, and considering this song speaks on an affair...yeah ! rosana however, viewed in the position of how lily is in this song. the most exquisite rose! it’s rosana, all! rosana is complicated in terms of how she is torn between viewing herself with a high self worth, and a low self worth, but this speaks to her higher self worth. i feel this song sums up a royal affair well enough, even if it isn’t including someone of a common level.

𝔻𝕆ℕ'𝕋 𝔻𝕆 𝕊𝔸𝔻ℕ𝔼𝕊𝕊/𝔹𝕃𝕌𝔼 𝕎𝕀ℕ𝔻- 𝕤𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘

i was torn upon including this song, but upon analysing the genius lyrics analysis, i settled upon it as rather fitting. this song speaks to the sadder side of rosana. she tries to make her skin steel, but there is a waterfall threatening to break from her, and there is a true sadness brewing beneath her, a volatile mess of a girl. she wants to be a force ignorant to sadness, a cool summer wind, light and free, without any of the burdens she inwardly carries within. she cannot handle her pain, and she tries to say that she does not do sadness, that she does not experience, but everything burns at her from the inside. life...it has better days, the summer and spring that intertwine with the blues, and she’s thankful to see them, and act that way, but it doesn’t hide the sadness she tries to not do.

ℍ𝔸𝕌𝕊 𝕆𝔽 ℍ𝕆𝕃𝔹𝔼𝕀ℕ- 𝕤𝕚𝕩

c’mon, i had to have a six song on here! now, whilst haus of holbein speaks on surface level as being a humorous, maddening, neon ruff german rave, there is more to it if you look onto a deeper level. i mean, the standards aren’t good. what they put themselves through to look perfect. and rosana highly places a value on her looks, and her outward appearance, taking a pride in that, believing it to be a crowning glory of hers. politics? not her thing. and she isn’t the heir. so she views some high value on how she looks, even if she must push herself through pressures to get there. alongside that, the very nature of haus of holbein is tudor tinder. she knows she needs to make a good match, maybe these qualities will aid her.

𝕃𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝕆𝔽 𝕐𝔼𝕊𝕋𝔼ℝ𝔻𝔸𝕐- 𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕒

wow, i told myself, i wouldn’t put more than one song from any musical on here, otherwise this playlist would be entitled ‘natasha, pierre, and the great comet of eighteen-twelve’, but honestly? we’re getting another anastasia song on here! if this song doesn’t speak to the more hedonistic side of rosana, i don’t know what does. she dares to live, and she lives as the royalty she is, an indulgent and vivacious sort. life is hers for the taking, and hers to live.

𝕎ℍ𝔸𝕋 𝕀𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝕀𝕊 𝔽𝔼𝔼𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔾- 𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕕

this song speaks to the relationship that rosana feels towards her sister. loathing, unadulterated loathing! alright, some parts of her truly care for her sister, but at the same time, they are so contrasting, and rosana cannot help but want to battle against her, naturally feeling a distance between them, grudging the slight age difference between them. she certainly feels a martyr for putting up with her, for accepting the second place. she tries to make herself more different, and the more lighter and partying side of glinda compared to the serious, yet fiery nature of elphaba, suits the dynamic well.

𝕐𝕆𝕌 ℂ𝕆𝕌𝕃𝔻 𝔻ℝ𝕀𝕍𝔼 𝔸 ℙ𝔼ℝ𝕊𝕆ℕ ℂℝ𝔸ℤ𝕐- 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕪 𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪-𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟

okay, so, i’m specifically going for the gorgeously wonderful london revival of this song, because london company revival is the company i like. rosana for sure views herself as someone who could drive a person crazy, driving a person frantic, making them feel all romantic. but she’s elusive, an enigma, and there is a battle between her cynical and hopeful nature. she’s ready, ready for love, ready for marriage, or so she views herself, but at the same time, she is cynical, and she is scared, and she runs away, finding it easier to put on a flirtatious mirth and merriment, than truly give herself away, even if she naively loves the idea of love. dirty flirt! elusive you! she’s a truly troubled person.

ℕ𝕆 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ- 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕝𝕖𝕛𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕖

i feel that the simplest way to explain this is to say that rosana holds the viewpoints of both delia, and lydia in this. this is her inner dichotomy, which is something i try to explore well as a core part of rosana. she tries to be a light in the world, and tries to act positive, though she will never be spiritual or godly, she tries to believe the universe holds a beautiful path for her, and that she can live and wait for it to come. but at the same time? she is a cynical girl. despite her rose-tinted glasses, she holds somewhat a cynical nature. good people die. there is famine and war. life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows, and she cannot just try and hide away negative thinking with a brightness.

𝔸𝕃𝕃 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕊𝕆ℕ𝔾𝕊, 𝔹𝔸𝕊𝕀ℂ𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕐- 𝕓𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝

i’m literally putting All the Songs because this is one of those cast recordings that speaks so vividly in so many different ways! i feel it holds the whole spectrum of emotions within it, speaking to her sadness, speaking to her passion, and there is so much. so damn much within it, that i physically could not choose one or two singular songs to place upon here.

𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕃𝕃- 𝕒��𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕓𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥

once more, i feel that in a way, this speaks to rosana from both perspectives being sung. she goes too fast, she blitzes through life, without pausing for a breath, she wants to further the story, as time chases her, not knowing how long she has, she is a star that is about to burn out too fast, so she wants to make the most of life she can. however, in that respect, in a way, she is also singing from the perspective of alice, along with that of alfred. she uses the world and the act she puts on, to immersive herself away from the darker thoughts, akin to how alice uses escaping into the book of wonderland, to escape from the darker truth on the outside. in some ways, she wants to pause her story also, and live in the rosy afternoons, rather than going to confront the darker world, wanting to confront things through rose-tinted glasses. stop the world! why can things not be still for a moment?

𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝℂℍ𝕀𝕃𝔻- 𝕘𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕥

i am infected with disbelief and blasphemy. i will never have a holy land. i am a ghost in the eyes of my god. oh, such a rosana mood! a part of her is exploring her own views on religion, and though she outwardly keeps up the needed pretence, due to her country being catholic, she views herself with some lack of religion, she finds herself becoming so infected with disbelief. so, yes, i feel this part of the song speaks so beautifully to her, as she explores her growing lack of faith. and then the rest of this song. i will vomit this loser out of me! it’s time to get out of bed, and be the starchild i can be. as i’ve mentioned before. rosana does hold a fair lack of self-worth, but she tries to combat that. she is going to burn brighter than any man, even if starlight burns away, a ghost. it is dead when we see it, even though it seems so effervescent still.

#crhs.challenge #( * rosana braganza & musings * )

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justrae2010 · 7 years

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For @yoi-career-week representing the wonderful world of finance!

“Um, Victor? S-sorry to disturb you but, um-”

“What do you need me to sign?”

The Finance Director didn’t even look up from his desk, cheek propped up against his fist and silver bangs fluttered over his left eye. His right was glued to his computer screen, tiny frown marring his forehead as he analysed a spreadsheet with sharp cerulean blue eyes. They served him well - he had a reputation for being ruthlessly meticulous.

Maybe that was why he was cutting to the chase with Yuuri - after all, not many people came over to Victor’s part of the office except to ask for something. Usually his signature to release a payment.

Yuuri fumbled with the papers in his hands. “Um, this.”

He held the papers out with trembling hands, glad that at least they didn’t rustle traitorously with his shakes. Victor glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.

“They’re warranty credits for India. They, um, didn’t want to offset-”

The papers tugged out of Yuuri’s hands.

Whatever else Yuuri might have said died in his throat as Victor flipped the lid off his exquisite fountain pen with a pop and slapped the papers down on the desktop, eyes scouring over the cover sheet all the while. He turned the page with a flick of his fingers. Then the other. Then back to the cover sheet, scanning over the bank details one more time, nib of his pen resting by the dotted line above his typed name.

Yuuri’s heart was in his mouth.

Everybody knew about the Finance Director. Youngest director in the company’s history, ruthless and shrewd, absolutely brilliant… and devastatingly handsome. That silver hair and those crystal blue eyes had Yuuri all but melting into a puddle at his feet, the pale complexion of his skin looking so beautiful it was hard not to stare. But if he didn’t stare at Victor’s face, then his body was just as distracting. His suits were always perfectly crafted for his body, always the best colours and styles, emphasising the sleek lines of his slim torso and the all too perfect curve of his ass-

“Here.”

The paper waved under Yuuri’s nose with a flap.

Yuuri’s face flushed red.

Victor’s swirly elegant signature danced on the cover sheet in sleek black ink, still glinting in the lights as it dried. Yuuri just stared at it, mesmerised. It was beautiful.

The paper rustled, bobbing once.

Yuuri didn’t get the hint.

Not until a bored - almost glaring - gaze cast in his direction, reluctantly dragged away from the computer screen. It caught Yuuri’s eye instantly. He all but gasped, heat flooding his face with embarrassment. Pure disdain bled through the Director’s gaze, dark through the silvery lashes fanned over it, the dull boredom stark and sharp as he flickered away from the spreadsheet.

Yuuri felt his heart drop into his stomach, throat running dry. His mouth hung open gormlessly, face glowing red with humiliation.

Now, he got the hint.

His gaze dropped down to his shoes in a heartbeat and he gripped the papers just a little too hard as he took them back, fingers crinkling the pages ever so slightly.

He should go, he thought. He should go, and run, and hide under his desk for the rest of his life for being the most awkward AP Clerk in the history of the world who couldn’t even talk to the director to release a payment without screwing up -

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught Victor do a double take.

Those brilliant blue eyes had just started to swivel back to the computer screen after what must have been less than a second of a glare - though to Yuuri it had felt like a lifetime! - when the director’s neck whipped back to Yuuri, his gaze blinking wide. Yuuri glanced up through his lashes, hardly daring to look.

What he saw made his breath catch all over again - but for completely different reasons this time.

The glare was gone. Instead, Victor’s eyes sparkled and shimmered, blinked wide with surprise and delight instead of hooded with a glare. His thick silver eyelashes fluttered. His fringe had flicked out of his face, pretty pink lips parted and the tiniest of gasps passing through them, so quiet that Yuuri more saw than heard it. A blush stained the Director’s usually perfect porcelain cheeks. A blush!

Yuuri shuffled on his feet, feeling his own face darken. What had he done now? Did he have something on his face?

Then he blinked.

And - oh God, Victor was rising to his feet.

“Hi,” he smiled. Smiled. “I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Victor.”

Yuuri didn’t see the hand outstretched to him until the last minute, jostling the papers around to free up his suddenly very clammy right hand. A page fluttered to the floor. Damn it.

He wanted to leave it, forget it, find it in a second… only he desperately needed those documents that he’d put himself through such humiliation to get signed and he couldn’t afford to lose them now. All it would take would be a gust from a window, a door shutting too hard, somebody walking by just a little fast and the air could catch under the page, carry it away, lose it forever…

“I, um, sorry, I’ll just-”

“Here, let me-”

They both crouched.

They both reached for the paper.

They both paused, catching the other do the same - but not before their fingers had already bumped over the page, fingertips frozen. Their eyes linked, blinking up in the same moment. Neither one of them moved.

Victor was the first to smile. “You work in Celestino’s department, right?”

“Yeah, um, that’s right.”

“Are you the one that’s doing such beautiful work reconciling the control accounts?”

“I, um…” Yuuri cleared his throat. “Beautiful?” He’d never heard anybody call accounting beautiful before.

“Beautiful.” Victor reaffirmed. “The way you really understand the numbers, work out their secrets … you really tell a story with how you connect with the transactions instead of just trying to write off the balances. I admire that.”

Yuuri’s blush darkened, eyes dipping down to the fallen page on the floor. Victor hadn’t moved his hand, fingers still draped casually over his. Yuuri felt every millimetre of their contact, Victor’s skin cool to the touch and lifting the tiny hairs on the back of Yuuri’s hand to stand on end, sending shivers down his spine. He hoped Victor didn’t notice – that brilliant beam and those sharp blue eyes looked like they noticed everything though.

“Um, thanks.”

If he moved his hand now and pulled the page away, would Victor be offended? Would he take it personally? Yuuri didn’t dare move just in case, running through each possible escape scenario in his head and envisioning how badly it could go.

His thighs were starting to ache from crouching in such an awkward position, pinned under Victor’s gaze like it was a physical weight around his neck, holding him down from leaving.

“Are you studying?”

Yuuri internally groaned. Another question – another minute balanced on the floor, with his hand under Victor’s, when all he wanted to do was crawl into the bathroom and scream into his jumper-

“Y-yes,” was all he said aloud, instead of his internal monologue. “AAT Level 2 Accounting.”

“Going well?”

“So far, yes.”

Victor’s eyes shone, his smile widening a fraction. It looked genuine. “I’m glad.”

Sea green streaked through the director’s gaze at the upturn in the corner of his mouth, the colour warm and inviting compared to the ice chipped blue it swirled through. It fluttered butterflies in Yuuri’s stomach. The colours were dancing in the poor lights of the office, giving off a shine of their own. It was so pretty. Yuuri couldn’t stop staring and - oh God, now he couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty the rest of the director was too!

He barely noticed Victor’s hand shift beneath his, the smooth slither of skin on skin not enough to jolt Yuuri out of his coma. The loud click from his knees was though.

“Ow,” he winced, blinking down.

It was only then he realised they weren’t crouching anymore.

“Well, if you ever need any help-” Victor went on as if nothing had happened, stood in front of Yuuri with the stray paper in hand. “Or have any questions-” His fingers glided along the page - grazing over Yuuri’s. His eyes shone gloriously. “I’m always happy to help.”

Victor winked.

Yuuri felt the floor give out beneath him, heat flooding his face.

There was no mistaking that, not by anybody’s standards. A wink - the director was flirting with him! With him, a lowly clerk, who-

“You never told me your name.”

Yuuri gasped - he really needed to get out of his head and start concentrating on what Victor was saying, and doing, and-

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Victor tilt his head ever so slightly to the side, frown starting to furrow his brow and bright eyes marring with a touch of confusion. Yuuri swore silently in his head. He was doing it again, and Victor was noticing.

What had the question been again?

“Y-Yuuri,” he said, when he remembered. “Yuuri Katsuki.”

He tried to ignore the heat quickly gathering on his cheeks, but it wasn’t an easy feat when his blush only darkened more with every passing second, feeling Victor’s gaze look right through him. Like he could see what Yuuri was thinking, judging him. Maybe he could see it in Yuuri’s face or in his eyes, in the way Yuuri caught his lower lip in his teeth just to stop himself from accidentally blabbing even though he just couldn’t stop the words in his head-

But then Victor was smiling again and Yuuri just forgot how words worked entirely in that moment, Victor’s face lighting up beautifully.

“Yuuri….” he toyed with the name, stretching out the syllables. Yuuri wanted to hear it again, watch it roll off Victor’s tongue, see the flash of delight in his gaze spark off all over again. “I look forward to seeing you again soon, Yuuri.”

There it was again!

Yuuri’s heartbeat was pounding in his fingertips as he felt his arm thud to his side, paper rustling. Victor had let go of the page.

Right - Yuuri was done.

Still, he got one more look at that glorious smile and those heart melting eyes, committing them to memory. He felt himself start to smile back - crooked and awkward compared to Victor’s smooth grin.

He didn’t care.

“You too … Victor.”

The papers wrinkled against his chest as he turned and clutched them tight, focusing on each crease he was bending into the pages rather than the eyes he could feel still watching him as he slowly walked away. The smile on his face stretched wider, something warm blooming pleasantly behind his ribcage.

He couldn’t wait for the next payment run.

#yoicareerweek #Yuri on ice #yoi #fanfic #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #victuuri #accountants #finance #numbers are good #yay numbers #mine

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misscrawfords · 7 years

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The Force Awakens Rewatch: Part 1

So I’ve watched the first half of The Force Awakens through shippers’ goggles and it’s really interesting seeing it again after reading so much meta.

Thoughts, many thoughts, under the cut:

- Seems really obvious to me from the beginning that Kylo Ren is not being set up as an obvious villain. His first appearance talking to Lor San Tekka establishes him as someone who shouldn’t be in the position he’s in, that he’s come from somewhere different. Whatever he is, it’s not a 2D villain. The fact that Poe bandies wit with him is also significant. Obviously it shows Poe to be brave to the point of recklessness, but it also undermines Kylo’s authority because neither of the two people he’s confronted are overwhelmed by obvious fear. One stands up to him and claims they basically knew him before he was Kylo Ren (not what he wants to hear) and the other is all, “Yeah, your mask is stupid”. So generally undermining him. He’s violent and filled with the paraphernalia of the dark side - and don’t get me wrong, that still makes him very, very dangerous - but he is no Vader, right from his first appearance. His lack of professionalism continues when he hacks the control panel to pieces after hearing about the droid. Kylo Ren sucks at, well, being Kylo Ren. Do we fear him? Yes. Do we feel that he’s unstable and out of control and ineffectual? Also yes. Is he on any kind of level with Vader? Absolutely not. And this is before we see him without his helmet on or know who his father is.

- Lor San Tekka. I still don’t get him. And I feel like he’s met Kylo before. What’s the history here? And how does he link in to Rey’s abandonment and Luke’s whereabouts?

- Moving onto Rey’s abandonment, this is much more of a “thing” than I remember it being having come down so much on the side of Rey Nobody myself. Like, this is a big mystery! And I feel like that both Rey Solo and Rey Skywalker are being flirted with. The Jakku link between Luke and Rey is tantalising as is the scene with Maz where Anakin’s lightsaber calls to Rey. Then there’s Han and Rey’s instant connection over the Falcon - they finish each other’s sentences, she can fly the ship, Chewie likes her... So both these possibilities are being dangled over the viewer but I’m inclined to think neither correct. I’ve been scrutinising facial expressions and I just cannot on any level believe Han would forget he had a daughter. I’ve not got to Leia yet but she even more would remember the fact! Rey Solo makes literally no sense. The connections between Rey and Han on the other hand work on a meta-narrative level: Han is Rey’s father figure (not her father) and therefore she naturally has things in common with him and quickly bonds with him - he relates to her much as Obi-Wan does to Luke. And of course she is being set up as the future pilot of the Falcon and paving the way to Han leaving the series, so naturally she’s being presented as a worthy pilot and someone Chewie will trust. Rey Skywalker is tougher to disprove expect that Han and Leia would probably remember if Luke had a daughter unless we’re expected to believe Luke had a secret relationship, unexpected child and then abandoned her or didn’t even know? Luke Skywalker, intergalactic player? I don’t think so. We’re meant to think she could potentially be Rey Skywalker... because she isn’t.

Then there’s what Rey herself says. She says her identity is “classified”, “big secret”. I’d forgotten that. Is she just being facetious because she doesn’t really believe BB-8? Or is that true? Does Rey actually know more about her own identity than she lets on to anyone? Is she keeping this secret not only from everyone else in the film but also from the viewers? It’s an intriguing idea. And if that is the case, her parents are certainly not Skywalkers. Her response to meeting Han and hearing about Luke seems really genuine. I don’t like the Rey-the-secret-princess theory because I would like to be genuinely Rey Nobody, an example of someone being special simply because they are not because of a legacy or their blood - a real contrast to Kylo - but there’s something intriguing about it. And so many questions about Rey’s past are raised in the first part of the film that it makes me mistrust Maz saying that the belonging she seeks is not behind her. I mean, I don’t mistrust that - it absolutely is ahead of her - but rather I disagree with the interpretation that that means we shouldn’t enquire after Rey’s heritage. I think the series would really drop the ball if that wasn’t dealt with and it didn’t have some meaning. What that meaning is, I don’t know. Rey Kenobi is a popular theory; I quite like it, and it would fit the evidence. But we shall see!

- Coming back to Kylo and Finn this time. Finn is such a wonderful cinnamon roll! He is absolutely playing the hero roll here. “Because it’s the right thing to do”. In a series that is already skirting uneasily around the nature of the villains, Finn is a shining light of the initially reluctant but good-natured, truly good and morally upright hero. If Rey is going to be more morally ambiguous, the trilogy absolutely needs Finn. He’s an interesting parallel to Kylo too. Both start off wearing masks and Finn removes his mask, decides to do the right thing and proves the viewer wrong about stormtroopers. He immediately puts the viewer off-kilter for what to expect from a SW film. The stormtroopers aren’t uncharacterised bad guys! They’re human beings! They have thoughts and feelings! And faces! And make decisions! And one is going to be our hero! Is Finn’s initial journey where his defection and struggle is pretty quickly over going to set the viewer up for the much trickier journey of Kylo Ren back to the light over the course of the entire trilogy? Something to consider in more details somewhere, perhaps.

- Finn and Poe have the most adorable meet-cute and banter. I really want to ship them! Finn and Rey however seem to have much more a sibling vibe on this viewing. Their bickering seems much more “ew get off me!” type sibling stuff and Finn climbing over her in the Falcon and Rey grimacing really had that feel about it. That changes slightly as they get to know each other. It’s a really lovely relationship because neither of them has ever had anyone of their own before. Both of them were abandoned children, neither have friends, both have wrenched themselves out of the only life they know, both are desperately seeking belonging and have found each other. And I think their feelings grow - but that doesn’t make it a romantic/sexual connection, though I think Finn does have an unexpressed interest. Rey has no interest in that - she is very single-minded. And why would she want a boyfriend who wants to hold her hand when she needs to get the map to the Resistance and all she wants is a friend?

- One thing that comes across particularly when Finn and Rey meet Han is how young and naive they are and I think it’s intentional. I’ve seen Kylo Ren derogatorily called a villain for Millenials, but that’s kind of true. Finn, Rey and Kylo are all presented as very young. (Their actual ages don’t matter. This is a fantasy world. No1 curr what high school year you would be in.) Because the audience knows and loves Han Solo - he is suddenly the familiar face on the screen, we suddenly see Finn and Rey through his eyes. They’re blundering around in the Falcon, desperately insecure (”I can do this!”), filled with wide-eyed interest in the myths of the previous generation and a naive but earnest heroism and desire to do the right thing. Han is thinking - and so is the audience in a way - “They’re so much younger than I ever was” and “This is the next generation”. It’s really beautifully done actually. And Kylo is part of that too. He’s said explicitly that he’s like an adolescent, full of that rage. He too is struggling in his own way to find his place in the world. I don’t think this is limited to the Millenial generation by any means, but it does speak to a very current outlook on the world.

- Not the first to say this, but Kylo, Finn and Rey all start wearing masks and over the course of the film, these masks are to a greater and lesser extent removed. All conceal their true nature and it’s not at all certain that at least for Rey and Kylo we have seen their true selves by the end of it. Kylo is concealing Ben Solo still and we don’t know who Rey is. Does she? I don’t think the new trio is Rey, Finn and Poe. I think it’s Rey, Finn and Kylo. Awesome as Poe is, he’s not a major character in the mythology of the new trilogy. There’s very little to analyse about him.

- Rey is such a great character. SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER. She’s so domineering and bossy and crabby and utterly single-minded and sees everything as black and white. But at the same time, she has her flower and she doesn’t sell BB-8 and she is excited by a legend of Luke Skywalker and weirdly trusting of everyone who comes her way. She’s managed to survive in this awful, hostile environment of Jakku and it’s just made her determinedly good. In some ways, more good than Finn, who doesn’t want to be a hero - initially he just wants to escape and he lies about it, though of course, he grows from that, as Han did in the OT.

- At the beginning of the film, Finn and Rey are both on the same hero’s journey. But at Maz’s, their paths diverge. Finn is more heroic in the traditional sense - he wants to protect the girl, he does “the right thing”. Finn is the archetypal knight with a code of chivalry. Rey is... it’s hard to explain. She sees everything so clearly and that there is only one way to act - she’s so certain the rightness of the light that the only way her story can go is to challenge that certainty and tempt her to the dark. Rey changes when she hears the call of Anakin’s lightsaber.

- As the film builds up, the intrigue about who Rey is - both her origins and her importance/abilities - parallels the intrigue about who Kylo is. They are both being set up as characters with a mysterious background who have some connection. (Yes, I know this is obvious.) Why does Rey have visions of him? What is this awakening that Kylo perceives before Rey has touched the lightsaber? Why does her vision segue from Kylo to her abandonment flashback? Who says “Rey”? (It sounded kind of like Obi-Wan but???) Equally, Kylo’s background is being drip-fed to the audience over several conversations which it really takes a repeat viewing to piece together.

- The idea that Kylo and what has happened to him and what will happen to him isn’t the central story in the trilogy is laughable. Like, he is the Skywalker! And he has the most complicated backstory and psyche and link to previous characters. It’s kind of a genius move, making the Skywalker on whom the plot of the trilogy depends into the villain. And I love the theory that the ST will do a reverse of the prequels and Kylo will be a reverse Anakin. He starts where Anakin ended. Will the trilogy see him fall to the light side? This is heavily suggested by his monologue to Vader’s helmet when he says he hears the “pull to the light”. He is undergoing the exact opposite of the hero’s temptation to the dark side. It’s a really interesting and quite novel idea to explore - the villain’s temptation to the light side. Certainly the TLJ trailer suggests this will happen. Also “by the grace of your training, I will not be seduced”. Uh, honey, that’s an interesting verb you chose to use... Nobody talks about being seduced unless a part of them wants to be... And again, a phrase normally used of temptation to sin.

- Incidentally, how effing tragic is that scene when Kylo is talking to Vader’s mask? By this point, we know that he’s Han and Leia’s son and have established that if Han and Leia haven’t had some major falling out, at least are not together in a good place. We may have connected the dots to realise that Kylo is the boy who destroyed Luke’s school. And we’ve seen him bowing before the terrified Snoke. And we’ve seen his temper tantrums. And possibly put him in parallel with Finn and Rey, two other young lost souls searching for meaning and family/friends and belonging. Kylo is trying to find it by pleasing a dead grandfather, the one family member who has had no expectations of him, the only one who has never been disappointed in him. Like, it makes complete sense he’d turn to Vader - but how tragic to see him trying to prove himself to a twisted mask!

Anyway, I’ve watched as far as Rey running off into the woods at Takodama so I’m excited to finish it tomorrow! :)

Go to Part 2.

#Star Wars #Rey #Kylo Ren #Finn #Reylo #meta #I'm so excited about everything

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eleganttravelerlady-blog · 7 years

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The struggle of independence

It has been a while since I’ve taken some time out to put some words to my thoughts. I have been plenty busy and my life has pretty much flown by - fast enough.

What got me back was actually pretty simple. Last night before bedtime I was lying in my bed with headphones on, listening to music. I sometimes do that to distract my thoughts from the busy mess in my head and then re-find focus in the lyrics of the songs. Listening to music has always been an escape for me, both in the hard struggling times but also just when I needed to space out and feel nothing and everything.

Last night a new song sneaked onto my playlist - James Arthur’s “I am”. The song made an impact - it has such a strong message and his voice and expression in the song tells a story of its own. The song made my thoughts go crazy.. I interpreted and analysed - tried to see parallels and comparisons. It made me feel like I had to write again. Not that it has ever been an expertise of mine, not at all a talent. I’d more say that it is a way to express myself when the topic is too heavy for anyone to listen. This way, you can all choose whether or not you want to keep reading, or just go back to what you were doing before. I won’t be offended ;-) I have always liked playing with words, both in my native tongue, which is Danish should any of you wonder, but also English which is oddly enough where I feel the most comfortable. I get to “attack” som topics that take up a lot of space in my mind and you can all either agree or disagree. It is the freedom of speech - a tiny way of feeling like someone is actually listening.

As the headline shows I want to get around the subject “Independence”, at least how it is affecting me and how I feel about it. You might not care, and it is perfectly fine.

To lay down some basics. I am turning 24 next month, I have already seen and experienced a lot in my short life and for that I count myself lucky. I have been through a crazy development on a personal level. As long I can remember and up until maybe 4 years ago I was extremely shy and introverted. I had lived my life in a kind of shadow. I was the “little sister” which both means I was living in the shadow of my sister, which is just natural (I think!) as you look up to your older sibling and wanna be like them because you can see the pride in your parents, but also spoiled (yes I admit it).

I was, and still am, Daddy’s girl. He would do anything for both me and my sister, and so would my mom of course. I was scared of trying new things, I loved what I knew and felt comfortable with. I never did anything out of the ordinary - just lived my life in the arena playing handball (best memories I have). I tried my best to do what I thought people wanted me to and I was certain I was gonna live my whole life in my home town and going through all “the right” stages of growing up. I wish someone would have told me sooner that there isn’t really a “right” or “wrong” way - not if you ask me.. If there should be a right way it is as simple as this “live your life the way you want to - do what makes you happy”.

As mentioned I have undergone a big development on a personal level. After struggling through the last bit of school I stood graduated and “ready for life” but with no clue at all as to what should happen. But personally I felt like I had had enough. Enough of myself and everyone around me. Tired of feeling like I had to do the right thing all the time. Study, work and study some more. Get a job, a husband, a house and a kid and settle. That the is best pattern to follow. I needed to get away - I needed to find out that I could take care of myself - alone - in the world. That I could be extrovert, meet new people and just get my on my own.

I have travelled far. European capitals but also Istanbul, Costa Rica, Mexico and best of all Australia. I dropped out of physio school as I refused to do something I didn’t want to. Which was a big jaw dropper in the family. Every trip, every decision taught me a new thing, opened my eyes in a new way and just made me grow so much as a person. I learned that I could easily get by on my own and I started feeling a bit proud of myself (very rare!) Doing something for me, and ignoring all the “nay-sayers” have been the best thing I have ever done. Because I have met a lot of people saying “Mia that is not wise - shouldn’t you think about it - do the right thing - study? - get a job?” My sister did it all. Graduated school beautifully - got an education - got a job - a husband, a house and a kid. Even in our home town. The perfect example. My parents can see their first born daughter and granddaughter everyday if they wanted to - whereas I chose to travel as far away as possible and live my own life. When I got back I moved to a bigger city just 40 minutes away got a trainee position in a big international company and I love it. I am happy for where I am in my life right now. Turning 24, single - living by myself and working my ass off to show that I am the best at what I am doing. I should be engaged and ready to get married now, should I follow my sister’s example. I am not. Not even close. And I dont’ want to. I will follow my own example.

I am not done travelling - I am definitely not done seeing the world. I am 100% in touch with myself and who I am when I am out seeing the world - I am HAPPY. Why would I give that feeling up already?

I will tell you all, it has taken me a hell of time getting here. And by “here” I mean in my mind. I have struggled so hard with the fact that I didn’t do what my sister did, why I didn’t have a boyfriend by now or a wedding coming up. Why could I easily live in Australia and get by on my own - when my sister was living in our home town, close to our parents and seeing them several times a week. Of course I missed my parents, they have helped me so much throughout my life and I wouldn’t be without them! But still I don’t feel like I should or could rely on them too much. What I need now is knowing they will always be there (which I know) - that if I live in another country, that the door always will be open when I come home. That they understand that I am not loving them any less just because I don’t need them every second of the day. I am aware that it is hard for them. I relied on them a lot as a kid and teenager + I am the last child - so suddenly being so independent as I am and not needing them all the time must be hard. I am not like my sister - not in anyway - we are so different. And now I think that it is a good thing. I am finally at piece with that fact, and my god can I tell you how amazing that is! The fact that I am so different, from my entire family in fact, is at times difficult - I can feel alienated or alone - but not in a bad way anymore. I am content with who I am. And you can’t change people and the way things are. So it is better to just accept it - and this is really said in the most positive way there is. I love my family - wouldn’t be without them - but I love my life as it is right now, I am happy with the way things are, and I am FINALLY happy with who I am! It only took me 24 years… ;-)

To any boy or girl out there doubting if you are ever good enough. You are. Trust me! Life will throw challenges at you, it will make it a living hell from time to time. But you will always rise if you just keep believing that it will be better. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t belong - that you are not right - or tell you what to do with your life - you are you for a reason, be happy with who you are and show people what a wonderful person you are! Live the life you dream of - and don’t be afraid to dream big!

“oh I am… forevermore I’ll be” - James Arthur

#iam #james arthur #beyou #accept #life #inspiration

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angstywritten-blog · 7 years

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My view on Wonder Woman (It was amazing)

I just watched Wonder Woman yesterday and I’m still trying to put my thoughts into words. It’s simply indescribable. I’ve never seen a movie where I laughed, smiled and cried so much. When I walked out of the cinema I felt so strong so empowered, so inspired. Patty did an amazing job out of this movie. Superhero movies are often meant to show or continue a character’s story usually along with a moral to the movie. Wonder Woman not only told Wonder Woman or Diana’s story beautifully, it truly brought a message across to the audience which was love. And its not just love for one person, its love for for humanity, for the world as a whole.

Wonder Woman gave me idols to look up to.

Diana who knew what she wanted and didn’t let a battlefield get in her way of saving others. That scene of her marching through the battlefield with her shield held in front of her, unafraid and confident. She was selfless, she had so much love in her heart. She respected Steve as an equal. She had empathy, kindness, optimism especially when she forgave Dr Poison at the end. She showed both vulnerability and strength, she was naive yet commanding. She wore her armor, sword and shield with confidence and that scene where she walks through the gala. She was beautiful, gorgeous not just because of her physical looks but mostly because she walked through the gala with determination and confidence. Even in the scene where she asked tons of questions in London, in the cave, on the boat about men about their society, even though the answers seemed obvious, it never made her look degraded as a person, it showed her charm as being unafraid to ask questions and willing to learn more (and she learns fast too). Plus, I loved that Diana was not shown to be slim or having a showy body, she was fit and muscular which was what amazons were supposed to be. Her geddup was not scandalous, she was proud to wear it not because it showed off her body but because she proud of her strength and that it was practical. It’s all this that adds up to her attractiveness. Diana has really inspired me and motivated me, she showed me the value of strength as well as showing your vulnerabilities. She showed me how to love how to sympathise with others. She showed me that just because I am a girl doesn’t mean that I can’t do spectacular things, like fight a war or save the world. She showed me how to believe in myself in in everything I do.

Steve Trevor was charming and not in an arrogant, egotistic, sexist sort of way. Steve embraced vulnerability. Having fought in the war for a long time and having seen the effects of war and the people behind it, he hadn’t had much faith in humanity. He started off being only focused on his mission but after meeting Diana, he sees humanity in a different light and gains hope in humanity. He respected Diana and encouraged her, he relied on her and helped her as well. He was never a lesser character alongside Diana, he wasn’t a higher character either, he was her equal. He was never depicted as a mere sidekick for Wonder Woman, he was depicted as a friend. The scene where Steve remembered the way the Amazons fight and used a metal sheet as a shield for Diana, that struck out to me. He believed in self-sacrifice and he was simple and smart which added to his charm. He was open-minded and he loved above all. His love for Diana didn’t make him weaker, t made both of them stronger. It was an amazing love story that was never forced and never toxic and just went gradually. It was Steve’s love for Diana that pushed Diana to believe in love. All in all, I learnt from Steve that its okay to be scared and to show it and the power of love. He stood for equality and acceptance, and he was so open to diversity. This shows his strength as a character because strength is not defined by how many strengths and how little weaknesses flaws and vulnerabilities you have but through courage in standing for what you believe in and the values that you hold.

Gal Gadot herself is Wonder Woman. She is genuine, honest, down to earth, and portrays Wonder Woman in such a respectful way. She owns the character with confidence and holds all of Wonder Woman’s values of selflessness, empathy, kindness, positivity/optimism and strength. She radiated the screen and was humorous and so invested in all of Wonder Woman’s vulnerability too. She pulled off her costume really well too. She is so passionate, so loving, so kind, so strong. She filmed parts of the movie whilst pregnant and let’s not forget she stood up for a boy who was being bullied for wearing a wonder woman shirt. She understands the value of love and acceptance in our society and she brings that out really well in the movie. She is definitely my favourite actor/actress as of yet.

And its not just the characters that are so in depth and well developed (the exploration of Charlie’s PTSD, Sameer who was a good actor but couldn’t be one because of his race and Chief who had everything taken away from him because of the white people), I found the depiction of war to be rather accurate and beautifully done. The landscapes, its effect on people (how they suffered from it), the weapons used (the mustard gas being noticeably used in World War I and depicted in Wonder Woman) and the complexity of the war itself. It shows us that war is not all black and white. The movie was beautifully written with the romance sub-plot and jokes not being forced at all. The side characters although they did not have as much screen time as Diana or Steve, all played very important roles in the movie. I was actually surprised with the twist in the villain, I actually did not see that coming but more emphasis was put on Diana and Steve in the movie which I think was good after all the villain (Ares) was not the main focus of the movie or the conflict. The focus was still on Diana and Steve, how they changed their perspective on humanity as well as humanity not being totally black and white.

I think above all what made this an amazing film was the messages Wonder Woman gave. Most superhero movies focus on the big difference between good and bad, bad and evil. Wonder Woman shows that there’s always more than one side to the story. Not everything is good and bad, black and white. There’s always the grey areas. In Wonder Woman, it was showed to us that we can’t blame everything bad that’s going on on one bad guy. Every side has their right and their wrong. It shows us not to assume that everything is necessarily good and despite that, there’s always going to be good in the world no matter how dark a time. It shows us the different sides of humanity, of us as people and opens our eyes to the world around us. Yes it tells us that there is some bad in the world but it also gives us hope that no matter what you can always find goodness and that really opened my eyes to new perspectives, to see things in a different light.

And of course Wonder Woman is about love. And its not just the strength of love between two characters (Diana and Steve which actually strengthen both of them and did not make them any weaker), its the power of love for others, not just our loved-ones or significant others but for everyone, even if they have done terrible things. Its about peace and accepting everyone no matter their background or their diversity. Diana said “Its not about what they deserve it’s about what you believe… and I believe in love”. It shows us that the power of love can save everything that hate has no use in the world. Love can bring us together, love can bring peace.

Both the message on love and the world being not totally black and white gives a good anti-war story. It tells us that when we look at war, we can choose sides but neither side is good nor evil and that we should always consider the different perspectives. It shows us that in the end, people, humanity, are not necessarily evil but have good sides to them to and filled with love. It tells us that because of this love we should never give up faith and hope and that war is totally unnecessary. All we need to do is to learn to love. It tells us that war and hate is not the solution to anything and that only love can bring about peace. As gal gadot herself says that she wishes no country had the need for an army.

But Wonder Woman is not all about war or giving an anti-war message.

Wonder Woman taught me how to love others. They taught me how to view situations from other people’s perspectives and that they are not necessarily wrong or right. By analysing a situation from different perspectives, we get to know the reasons and motivations of another party which is one step forward to accepting them and loving them for we can never really love others until we understand what they are going through. But “not everything is black and white” and “love” is not only about viewing other perspectives and standing in the shoes of others, it’s also about optimism, hope and faith. After watching Wonder Woman I felt a new hope for the future that the word wasn’t necessarily bad with everyone trying to create terror or killing everyone. It has opened me up to good in the world which I had never seen. I see Ariana Grande bringing people together with the power of music. I see people of different colours, genders, sexual orientation coming together to celebrate diversity. I see a whole movie about a female superhero bring people together to talk about feminism, peace and love teaching kids about how to believe in themselves, the power of strength and vulnerability that will probably be remembered for years to come. Wonder Woman has taught me both how to see love and how to feel love and give love.

And one of my favourite things about Wonder Woman is the feminism. As a girl and a feminist I can say that I feel empowered. Wonder Woman has got me to feel proud about my body about my sex and gender. It showed me that even girls can fight, be badass or save the world. The scene where the Amazons were fighting together on the beach. Women, who were not slim or sexualised in anyway but fit and muscular, were fighting side by side together. Diana herself was not sexualised in anyway even in the choreographed battles. That scene where Diana saw a corset and was told that it was meant for hiding your belly but Diana herself who came from an island of women with good physiques couldn’t see the need for why anyone would hide any part of their body will be one of my favourite scenes ever. And when Diana told Steve that men are necessary for procreation but not necessarily needed for pleasure, was amazing. All without degrading men at all. Steve was still portrayed as being smart (and riding on motorcycles) but beside Diana, he along with Sameer, Charlie and Chief were not seen to be degraded. Diana may have been an all star but they were never useless and always seemed to be equal to her. Furthermore it showed us that men were allowed to feel vulnerable and to be scared to. Chief had everything taken away from him, Charlie suffered from mental illness, Steve had not much faith in humanity but they were still strong and carried on with their mission. It showed us that our vulnerabilities do not make us weaker but in fact can make us stronger too. There was even a switching of gender roles with the Amazons being muscular instead of petite and Steve being the one who sacrificed himself instead of a woman. Wonder Woman especially had a very diverse cast of different colours and races. It really empowers me that for once the women can be strong respected individuals with their own flaws but it doesn’t bring them down and don’t need men to rely on and that men can be vulnerable but strong. This movie was so open minded and accepting to differences. It really adds on to the message of love showing us that our differences don’t matter as long as we love and accept as well as to love ourselves too.

Wonder Woman has showed me that to be human is to love and that if we all learn to see love, feel love and give love, the world would be a much better place, after all “Only love will truly save the world”.

I just wrote a 3 page long essay on Wonder Woman (or at least its 3 pages long on google docs) and feel even more empowered. I hope people enjoyed Wonder Woman as much as I do and know that its only just a good movie with a good plot and well developed characters but also a movie with a strong message that has impacted my life forever. I see life and humanity so differently right now, in a new light. And definitely a brighter light. Wonder Woman has and will change my life and my viewpoints in many ways and I hope it did for you too. Patty Jenkins I applaud you, you have made a simply beautiful work of art and I personally think it should win an award especially for the message that it gives. I felt that the whole cast and crew were amazing. I love Gal Gadot she is amazing and Wonder Woman is now my hero. Continue to spreading the love everyone!

#wonder woman #dc comics #gal gadot #diana prince #chris pine #steve trevor #patty jenkins #wonder woman movie #love #themyscira #superhero

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thedancingwoodpecker · 7 years

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Inspiration of the month

Last week I had the honour and privilege of participating in LDIF2017 Festival run by Serendipity. Asha, Guille and I performed CLAY at the Attenborough Arts Centre. One of the few times I’ve come off stage saying that felt quite right! Probably a first for me! Amazing how long it takes for things to start settling! I feel like only now is the piece really making sense to me! We got a great audience response and the brilliant questions after the piece seemed to indicate that it really resonated with audience members. [I will be writing properly about CLAY soon!]. The day after the performance the festival screened Gurumbé: Canciones de tu memoria Negra, by Miguel Angel Rosales. The two are connected in so many ways, it’s great that the programers reflected that, I also want to write about Gurumbé properly! So many amazing things have been happening and as someone who processes things slowly, I’ve got a huge backlog of stuff I want to say!!!

What I wanted to write about today was day 3 of the festival (for me, the festival launches annually on International day of dance, 29th of April). Day 3 for me was the conference. This year’s edition centred around Identity and Choreographic Practice, I took part in the Colonial past, New Aesthetics panel. I didn’t end up saying any of what I prepared in my paper, but just the preparation for the talk, got me all excited and reminded me of my uni days (I secretly love ideas and thought and libraries!), it allowed me to analyse and think about my journey so far in a way that I never do. It also helped me realise how much I’ve come to know, over the years, about the unspoken politics of identity and heritage in flamenco!!! Yet again another topic for another day!! So let me get to the point!

I need to shout out loud about the buzz I’m still feeling from the conference! The whole day was a sharing of experiences and ideas from practitioners of African decent from the continent to across the diaspora although mainly the UK and US! Not only did I learn loads about key players in “Black”dance (if there is such a thing but for us to be clear) in the UK and US past and present but I got to meet all these trailblazers and inspiring dancers! Pinch me please! I would like to list everyone that spoke because it was such a pleasure hearing these different perspectives and experiences and then I’d like to focus on a few that have just blown me away! Delia Barker and Sandie Bourne spoke about the continued struggle for visibility for Black dancers in ballet. Sheron Wray, Terry Ofosu, Francis Angol and Kendrik Sandy spoke about recognising the critical place of improvisation as performance in re-inscribing Africa’s multi-dimensional aesthetic, this panel really resonated with me. I had the privilege of sharing the panel with H Patten, Nora Chipaumire and David Hamilton!

Starting off the day was the incredible Joan Myers Brown. As soon as she started talking the inspiration began! I cannot begin to say how before even finding out about her incredible legacy as Founder and Artistic Director or Philadanco, amongst many other amazing accomplishments, her whit, elegance and poise were quite overwhelming, it felt like being in the presence of real royalty!! Then added to her determination, business mindedness and vision as someone who saw a need to create a nurturing space of excellence for black dancers, and so did, I was awe struck! I also have to add that Joan seemingly effortlessly continues to travel and tour with her company at the age of 84 and doesn’t look a day over 60. Impressed no lo siguiente!!

Here is a little videography of Mrs Myers Brown.

vimeo

Somewhere during Mrs Myers talk I turned to look through the audience and I spotted Kristina and Sadé Allenye! Another pinch me please moment! I had seen them perform in Akram Khan’s Kaash when it came to The Teatro Central in Seville last year. They are both exquisite and powerful dancers of amazing skill, versed in so many different styles including African dance, hip-hop, contemporary and kathak! It was so heart warming to see them present at this conference, before heading off to their own rehearsals of their duet A Night’s Game which I can’t wait to see!

By the first break I was already enthused and so grateful to Pawlet Brookes the Founder and Artistic director of Serendipity for creating this space for this discussion, or just for bringing all theses amazing people together!

The panel on improvisation was opened by Dr Sheron Way, this is when I almost started jumping in my seat!! She gave us a little introduction into her work around Embodiology: 'A West African-informed theory of improvisation-as-performance’. Everything Sheron went on to describe about the relationship between music and ‘dancer’ ‘audience’ and ‘spectator’, rhythm and repetition was screaming Flamenco out to me!!! WHEN THE DOTS JOIN!!! I will say this, what Gurumbé ultimately suggests is that Flamenco is directly connected to West Africa not so much in its use of specific steps or even specific rhythms, which is what the study of Flamencology so often searches for to construct the history of Flamenco, but in the very construct and expressivity of the form. Here in Dr Way’s work is the actual breakdown, an almost scientific approach to how improvisation works in specific West African cultures such as the Ewe and Yoruba. I have goosebumps! Yes I have intuitively know this, but to sit and hear someone describe it so well was ground breaking for me! Thank you Sheron for this incredible work!

Here is a video of some of Sheron’s work, amazing to see her trajectory and how it has come together in her latests research on Embodiology:

youtube

Last and certainly not least I have to mention the incredible Nora Chipaumire, we were on the same panel, but before seeing her work, just from some of her comments and a brief talk we had over lunch, I could tell she was a badass boss! What I found most inspiring was Nora’s expansive energy and poignant reflections. One of the only practitioners on the panels who was born on the African continent, Zimbabwe to be specific, she seemed to be coming from a place of assertion and working from the idea of being present, whereas I sensed that much of our discussion for those of us from the diaspora was centred around asking to be seen, or somehow looking for validation and to a certain extent inclusion. For me meeting Nora felt like a glimpse at what we should all be looking for: unapologetic dialogue. You come to my side for a minute, why do I always have to come to yours? Yes yes yes!!!

I don’t want to put any words in anyone’s mouth though, Nora speaks beautifully about her work in this recent CNN interview. (click to see)

I am also very excited because next week I will be attending a series of workshops she will be giving as part of Africa Moment created by Aida Colmenero Diaz which opens with a screening of Gurumbé: Canciones de tu memoria negra. Not to be missed!! Details for the full festival programme can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/AidaColmeneroDiaz/

Serendipity it is!

Here Nora Chipaumire captured by Andrew Boyle.

I am eternally grateful to people like Pawlet Brookes in her work through Serendipity, and Aida C Gomez for creating spaces, platforms and events where the work of these wonderful artists can be seen and experienced. I left feeling like had learnt so much. I am starved of these sorts of encounters so this was real nourishment!!

#LDIF17 #serendipity #dance #CLAY #kendrick sandy #joan myers brown #Philadanco #Allenye dance #Dr Sheron Wray #embodiology #Pawlet Brookes #Nora Chipaumire #africa moment #Aida C Diaz #Gurumbe: canciones de tu memoria negra

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zutaraverse · 7 years

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Chapter 7 Part 1: Springing From the Earth

MATURE audiences only.. In both good and bad ways. R rated ok. Trigger warnings for torture, rape, murder, swearing, sex.

Although the days following the now-famous Agni Kai had been quiet and somber, both teenagers felt much closer to one another. Zuko had a newfound respect for Katara’s strength and control - how she had managed to pull herself out of the darkest chapter of her life on her own, and yet did not give in to her instincts of revenge enough to kill the captain. Katara similarly saw Zuko in an entirely new light; He had done what she had asked him, he had respected her need for closure and hadn’t tried to interfere. She felt proud that he believed in her skills enough to let her take care of herself. It was something Aang had ever trusted her with. But Zuko… Zuko understood and believed - even though she didn’t miss his unwavering concentration, ready to intervene should anything go wrong. And that, in itself, made her heart swell in gratitude.

Katara started considering whether the trip they had taken years before to find her mother’s killer had been more genuine on his part than she had originally thought. Perhaps it was motivated more by understanding and support than guilt for the betrayal under Ba Sing Se. The thought of it made her smile.

Slowly, things started returning to something like normality. They trained in the mornings, and there were no more protests when Katara walked into meetings. In fact, the counsellors eventually had to begrudgingly admit she was an important addition to their discussions, since she had most recently visited many of the areas they were analysing and she was the only one to have a firm grasp of Water Tribe traditions.

Zuko did notice, though, how every day the dark shadow that had inhabited Katara’s features since she had returned was being slowly lifted. She smiled more - really smiled, up to her eyes - and her laughs were more genuine. There was a distinct bounce in her step as she walked around the palace, and in training sessions she was much lighter on her feet. It was as if an enormous weight had been literally lifted from her shoulders.

It was rare that the Fire Prince’s schedule remained empty for any considerable period of time now that he was acting as Fire Lord. Rare - but not unheard of, he told Katara when he realised he had one of these precious days coming up.

The sun had awakened the earth by the time they finished training, having taken it slow instead of trying to cram as much as possible in a short amount of time. They tried to throw one another their own elements, so that they switched continuously between fire and water. It turned out beautifully when Katara conjured an intricate ship out of mist and Zuko managed to take it over seamlessly as it continued its journey across the room. Zuko then created a dragon out of fire, leaving it shimmering in front of them, containing a burning wisdom behind its amber eyes.

Katara grinned. The dragon was the creature from which fire was learned, so she would create her own counterpart. According to her text, it was the dolphins from which her people learned water - but Katara had seen very few in her life. Instead she gave a shape to the ocean, letting it free-form and become clouds and rain as the dragon and the sea danced around one another.

They ended the dance, painfully aware of how close they had become, chests heaving as they tried to breathe in enough air to fill their lungs once again. Their eyes met, continuing the dance of their elements, although there seemed to be fire in the depths of her blueness and a calm, growing tide behind his golden ones.

Katara was the first to look away and step backwards, breaking the spell they had fallen under.

“Maybe we should take a breath of fresh air?” she asked awkwardly. Zuko sighed quietly to himself, then nodded and they headed outside to the sun.

The light hit them in full force as soon as they stepped out of the door. Usually, the dim lighting inside was not far off from the early morning sun by the time they finished their training. However, since they had taken things easy today, the contrast was striking. They blinked away the first impact and appreciated how the golden autumnal light caressed the gardens. There weren’t really extreme seasons in the Fire Nation, just slight accents to the warmth of the sun and the colour of the trees; a half-hearted impersonation of the outside world. In the most sparse islands, which included some of the colonies, there was no difference at all - merely more or less rain at different times of year. The gentle climate had allowed the Fire Nation to expand as much as it had, since it did not need to worry about the winter months - although the drier seasons meant that certain food was hard to come by.

Now, at the beginning of this pseudo-autumn, the sun had mellowed and the trees turned yellow and shed their leaves within a week in order to fertilise the ground at their feet. Shortly afterwards, they would grow some more, not needing to wait out the winter frost. The air was slightly more biting that usual, although still humid, with a cooler breeze ruffling the messy hair of the two teenagers.

They headed for the grassy slope that lead to their training area, and threw themselves down on the lawn to gaze at the clouds meandering through the blue.

There was silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts and enjoying the welcome cool of the wind.

“Zuko?” attempted Katara, breaking the enchanting quiet.

“Mmmm” he replied, not taking his eyes off the sky.

“I wanted to say thank you. For… the way you treated me when everything… happened.”

“You’ve already thanked me Katara. And besides, there’s no need. You would have done the same for me.” Katara allowed herself a smile. Yes, she would have. It was something new that she held the same perspective as somebody else.

“No, I mean in the Agni Kai. You didn’t hold me back or force me to stop. You just… believed in me I guess and let me do what I felt I had to do,” she trailed off, returning her gaze to the clouds.

Zuko frowned.

“I’m not really sure what you expected. I took you to find your mother’s killer and stood by you as you decided whether to spare him his life or not. This isn’t really very different, is it?” Katara chewed her lip.

“This is going to sound really horrible but I thought when we went on that trip it was just because you felt guilty and wanted to be part of the group. I’m thinking that maybe I underestimated you, and that you may have done it not only for selfish reasons. So I guess, thank you for that too…”

Zuko’s face fell. He had tried so hard to dispel the bad opinions people held about him and the idea that she still thought that about him until now was not a nice feeling. It brought back too many memories.

“Katara, I did want to make it up to you. I wanted to show you that I could be as supportive of you as you were being of everybody else. I felt dreadful about what happened under Ba Sing Se - you were so kind to me, you offered to heal this monstrosity,” he indicated the burned side of his face, “and I could see that you needed some peace from the things that were tormenting you. I did hope it would heal the wound between us but I wanted to go with you even if it didn’t help me…”

Katara felt tears spring to her eyes at the sadness in his tone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think about you like that anymore. I haven’t for a while but this… well… thank you… again.” They fell into silence once more, their minds drifting back to the times when first one, then the other, was so filled with hate and rage that they couldn’t even be in the same room together. Now a day felt sad and empty if they didn’t see one another.

“Hey Katara? Can I ask you something?” started Zuko screwing up his courage.

“Sure.”

“Well… you know that night we were going over trade and military… uh… things in my study?” Katara stiffened. She had a very bad feeling of where this conversation was going.

“Yes, I remember,” she said slowly.

“Well you kissed me…”

“You kissed me back!” she quipped immediately. Zuko was confused.

“Yes, I did. But you were the one who started it… and ended it. And I wanted to know, well, why?” The question hung in the air as Katara took a deep breath.

“Why what? Why did I start it or why did I end it?” her voice was steady. She owed it to him to be honest, after everything he had done for her.

“Uh… both?”

“I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.” Zuko couldn’t conceal a small smile at that. Even though it was obvious; why would she kiss him if she hadn’t wanted to kiss him?, it still made his heart flutter. He wondered how much emphasis she was putting on the fact that it was him.

“And you stopped because…? Am I a bad kisser or something?” Zuko regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. He was just trying to relieve the tension that had suddenly formed between them. Katara avoided eye contact, fixating a very wispy, non-descript cloud.

“No, Zuko, you are not a bad kisser,” she started carefully. Despite himself, this made him smile again. “You put your hand behind my head to… pull me closer I think. But I… have not been good with physical contact… as you know. I was scared that I would break down so I left quickly,” she glanced at him to gauge his reaction. “For what its worth, it triggered nothing bad. I didn’t associate it with what… happened… at all.”

Zuko stared at her in shock as he processed this. Of course! Obviously! He hadn’t thought of it because he didn’t know what had happened to her at the time.

“I’m so sorry Katara, I didn’t know…”

“No, its alright. As I said, I enjoyed it. But don’t worry, it won’t happen again.” Zuko inexplicably felt light headed at her words. Did that mean she regretted it? Maybe she was promised to somebody else after all!

“So… you regret it? Because I liked it you know…” Oh yes Zuko he thought that is definitely the way to sweet-talk the ladies! Zuko seriously needed to address the fact that his mind seemed to lack a filter when he was around Katara like this. He wasn’t sure if the conversation could have been any more painfully awkward.

“Wait what? Regret it? No, of course not! But… wait… Zuko can you just be straightforward about things? Do you want something like that to happen again?” She had sat up, hugging her knees to her chest and looking down at Zuko who was rigidly lying on the ground trying to control the fierce blush that was taking over his features.

“I… well… yes. I thought that was pretty obvious?” he said, avoiding her gaze. Then quickly added “but you know, if you don’t -uh- see me in that way thats fine too!”

Katara rested her head on her knees, squeezing her eyes shut.

“But don’t you think of me as disgusting after what happened to me? I told you what he did to me…”

Zuko’s eyes widened in disbelief. Katara thought that he found her repulsive! He sat up to face her.

“How could you even think something like that! Katara I think you are the bravest, kindest, strongest, most intelligent, most talented and … and most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I could never find you disgusting - not when we were mortal enemies and most definitely not now that you’ve proved how strong you can be!” The filter problem really needs to be addressed, he thought distantly.

“So… you… don’t mind the scars?” her voice was quiet, and she turned to him with wide blue eyes filled to the brim in tears. He gaped at her.

“What the HELL Katara!” he said angrily, moving towards her and pointing to his face, “have you forgotten that I have a scar that has fucking deformed my face? Given to me by my father? Or one decorating my chest given to me by my sister? What the hell is wrong with you?!” Now he was angry. If she thought he could dislike her because of a few scars when he himself was covered in wounds then she was thicker than he thought.

However, she shrank back a little and shook her head frantically.

“No, you don’t understand,” she choked out, “your scars, they add to your character; you got them by being kind and brave; they’re a reminder of how … how … amazing you are! Mine, I had no choice in mine. Its not like I was on some grand mission to save anybody, or help anybody - it was an accident that I was put in that situation. It is a physical representation of my own stupidity and my own weakness. I… I can’t even look at myself with them anymore!” By this point tears were streaming down her face, her eyes searching him imploring him to understand.

Zuko’s expression softened. He shuffled over to where she was sitting and put his arms around her. She stiffened momentarily before relaxing in his hold.

“Don’t tell yourself that Katara. That’s what Ozai told me about mine, and that is more of a scar than anything physical. I didn’t choose my scars either. I didn’t know he was going to destroy my face, and I didn’t know what Azula had in mind. Yes, I got mine having done, retrospectively, good things… but you got yours on a search for knowledge! You’re the first person in … well … Yue knows how long to command more than one element! You have translated ancient texts and become the most powerful healer the world has to offer. A journey you easily could have ended with Hama by following in her footsteps, but you chose not to. To me, scars are just reminders of the times we have been through; and yours show how any obstacle can be overcome.” He was stroking her hair and he felt his own throat close up at the words that were coming out of his mouth. He hadn’t even planned to say them but as soon as he heard his own voice utter them he knew it to be true. He sniffed, holding back whatever emotion was threatening to overflow.

“Besides,” he continued into her hair, “unlike some of us at least you have the looks to pull them off,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Katara stirred from his arms and fixed him with an angry glare.

“Oh please Zuko, you are extremely attractive and don’t even think of pretending you don’t know that!”

Zuko looked at her as if she were crazy, and let her wriggle out of his arms. They felt slightly empty, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

“Oh, yeah, because you can see all the girls who are throwing themselves at me - and I’m not talking about the ones that want my position and money. I mean my last relationship ended up with her going off with another girl! Look, I don’t need your sympathy Katara, I know what I look like,” he grumbled bitterly looking away. Alright, bringing up looks was a bad idea. What was he thinking? She was far too pretty to be with him!

“ZUKO! Look at me!” she sounded mad. “I have travelled around the world. Twice. And I have seen fine men from all nations and all walks of life. From kings to chiefs to warriors to traders and shoeshiners. I can tell you that, honestly, hand over heart, you top them all,” she reached out to squeeze his hand. Well she looks genuine, he thought, maybe she hit her head very hard at some point. Regardless, not something to complain about!

“Especially,” she added with a weak smirk, “now that you’ve got rid of that weird bald-pony-tail-thing. That was not a good look for you!” He laughed in spite of himself.

They both seemed to realise they were still holding hands at about the same time. Katara blushed.

“Well, I guess if … we both … you know …”

Zuko rolled his eyes and leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and planted a soft kiss of Katara’s lips. She was taken by surprise, but as he pulled away she followed him and captured his lips against hers, savouring the feeling and the shivers that involuntarily made their way up her spine.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #blood chi and full moons #zuko #katara #zutaraverse

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ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[SP] Quantum Toilet

The bathroom had turned back into a kitchen again. That was the problem with this new fancy-schmancy superpositional plumbing, Sarah reflected. It was all great and space-saving and efficient (a pipe is a pipe after all, regardless what’s going through it) until it all malfunctioned. That’s when you ended up with – best case scenario – someone suddenly finding themselves pooping in the sink in front of a terrified cereal-eating shipmate and – worse case scenario – finding themselves body-horrored halfway into a porcelain bowl, with a cistern where their vital organs were supposed to be. Sarah had just given up flicking the manual override switch on the wall, which only seemed to make the kitchen flicker a bit, like a cheap hologram. She squinted and yes, there it was: the beautifully utilitarian military-grade shower-toilet combo, somehow occupying the same space as the kitchen and yet also not, messing with Sarah’s depth perception and causing her stomach to lurch, as though it wanted to leave not only her body but the strange doubleroom itself. But Sarah had priorities. She closed one eye completely and started moving slowly around the room. The existence of the kitchen and bathroom both seemed to wax and wane periodically as she moved about, trying to find the ideal spot. Aaaand... there. She opened both eyes and found herself standing in what was unquestionably a bathroom. She breathed a sigh of relief, before the question hit her. The question of how she was supposed to use the toilet from two metres away.

She was distracted from her thoughtful contemplations on non-Euclidean bladder voidance and context-sensitive geometry by a great wailing siren rose up from the ether. She swore loudly as the bathken was bathed in amber light. Biological functions be damned, her ship was in trouble.

Captain Sarah Li of the Starship Centauri strode out of the room with what she hoped was an air of composed gravitas. She then, with all the dignity that her high ranking position granted her, struggled to remove some of the kitchen-roll/toilet-paper that was stuck to her heel with her other boot (one thing that did not change with the room was the paper, which was equally coarse and sandpapery in each of its purposes). She marched down the corridor, sirens still crying all about, with bodies bustling and voices barking. The corridor widened to present a massive door that slid open before her. She entered the command room. Here the panic was even greater, the orange flashing all the more dramatic, throwing bold shadows of the various ship officers moving and yelling and commanding and sweating. Various control desks and monitors all circled a hologram in the centre of the room showed a wireframe schematic of their ship slowly rotating, dire red text arrowing out of it all over. The ship model then exploded, and not in the schematic sense.

Sarah did her best to appear assertive, commanding and in control, which is difficult to do when you A) have absolutely no idea what is going on and B) you’re absolutely bursting for a piss. But if she was one thing, it was professional.

‘Attention!’ she bellowed out. The din quietened down. ‘Someone, gimme a sit-rep.’ This was captain for ‘I’m confused and scared and human, but I really need you to not know that right now’.

‘We’re under attack, Captain,’ the little ratty-faced Rep Officer Branley piped up from behind a display twice his size. ‘One assailant, about naught three GUs behind us. Must be a stealth ship, popped right up on our tail withou-’

‘What’s the issue?’ Sarah interrupted. ‘Have they not tried to open communications with us?’

‘No Captain. They’ve opened fire.’ His voice crackled a little from fear. ‘A 85 quad-megaton warhead.’

‘Christ. Can our defences handle it?’

‘No, Captain. It’s a military grade KL6, same as ours. Can turn a planet to dust, and it’s way too fast for our anti-missile missiles. We have maybe twenty seconds until we’re-’

‘Dust, got it.’ Think, Sarah, think. They couldn’t take it down and they certainly couldn’t outrun it. She scoured her brain for a course of action. There was only one, and she knew it, but she really, really didn’t want to go there.

‘Captain?’

‘Shut it, Branley. I’m thinking.’

‘It’s just th-’

‘Complete destruction, I’m aware.’ Sarah did her best not to sigh out loud. It wasn’t very captainly. ‘Janowski, listen up.’

Chief Tech Officer Janowski attempted to snap a salute at Sarah, but mostly achieved launching a rivulet of sweat off her hand at one of her crewmates.

‘Y-y-yes Captain!’

‘Stop quivering and listen up, Janowski. We’re gonna hit the T-Drive and get the fuck out of here.’

‘Captain? The... T-Drive?!’

‘You’re making a puddle, Janowski. Yes, the T-Drive. I know, I know. But right now we don’t have much choice. We warp or we die.’

‘There’s no chance we can get a safe route that fast!’

‘Then get us a half safe one. Now, Janowski!’ Sarah looked around the room. The sirens still wailed, but the terrified hubbub had died. All eyes were on their Captain. ‘Anyone have a better idea? No? Then do what you’re told.’

Janowski was struggling, typing furiously at her station, eyes shooting from monitor to monitor, sweating profusely. Other tech officers were checking calculations and running simulations, making rapid guesses and heuristic analyses and just plain old shots in the dark. The hubbub was rising again, the fearful intensity boiling up higher than ever. Some crew members were even crying, praying, saying their last goodbyes. If we somehow get through this, Sarah thought, those lot are getting fired.

‘In the meantime: computer, open a broadcast channel. Unencrypted, on all frequencies. Begin transmission. To whomever just opened fire on a military vessel: congrats. You’re already dead. End transmission.’

‘Ten seconds to impact!’ yelled Branley.

Even Sarah could feel a trickle of cold sweat down her back. Janowski meanwhile was nearly hyperventilating when she finally blurted out ‘Warp systems ready! Well, I mean...’

‘It’ll do. Hit it.’

Kowlaski’s finger hovered over the big red button. Sarah wondered would she have to be the one to do it. K was a good tech, but wasn’t exactly spectacular under pressure.

‘Five seconds to impact!’

Janowski closed her eyes and pushed the button. Everything got weird.

For centuries and centuries reputable physicists the world over declared time travel impossible. Many won important prizes for proving how impossible it really was. The only issue was that the more prizes they won, the more futurefolk that showed up at these scientists’ homes to make fun of them.

The first person to prove that time travel was definitively doable was Jreel Dartull. Dartull was walking to work one icy morning, when he suddenly slipped and somehow fell into the moment of his own birth. Shortly after the hospital staff had powerhosed Jreel’s mother off the maternity ward walls work began on reverse engineering the event. The resulting method was an odd one, furtively ignoring the laws of physics in the hope that nobody important noticed. This tech was the basis of the T-Drive, capable of warping a cruise vessel to any given point in space-time, provided the drive was given a few minutes to calculate a safe path and it was feeling nice that day. If it wasn’t – well, the vessel coming in contact with even a single unaccounted-for molecule would cause instant and violent annihilation. Even at its safest (i.e. not very safe at all) warping through space-time felt a lot like getting forced through a straw with the gentle encouragement of a sledgehammer. At it’s worst it felt more like-

More like her skin was tightening inwards, crushing and suffocating her organs. Her muscles tensed and ached and her bones felt as though they’d be ground into powder. The lights became overbright, scorching her retinas, but her eyelids were pulled back so hard she couldn’t close them. All around her Sarah saw more and more warnings flash on screens, scrolling sidewards and backwards. In that slow orange strobe she could have sworn she saw Janowski rapidly de-age into a baby (not that it made a huge difference). Sarah’s body pumped out all the adrenaline it had and in a fraction of a second a million regrets went through her mind. She regretted not taking the time to open her heart, to make real friends, to find love. To be do more than just work and climb her way up that ladder. Above all else she regretted not having a personal toilet installed in her office.

And then it was over. The siren had changed, taking on an even more urgent tone. Red text flashed on every screen in the room. The orange strobe had turned a deep brick-red. And yet, somehow, they were all still alive.

‘Janowski,’ Sarah croaked out, rubbing her rapidly decompressing throat. ‘Where are we? When?’

‘Eh... exactly where we were, maybe thirty, thirty-five seconds ago?’

Sarah looked around. People were crying tears of joy, hugging, breathing sighs of relief. Do these people do any actual work?, Sarah thought bitterly. Like most discerning sci-fi readers she hated time-travel. Plus, they still had an unknown assailant to deal with. ‘That siren isn’t sounding so good.’

‘No, no it’s not,’ piped up Bramley. ‘Every system on board is screaming. Multiple catastrophic errors. Oxygen and main engine are still online though, so we might be alright. Also, I don’t think the calendar is fit to deal with rapid jumps.’ He pointed at the right-hand wall where the display claimed it was ERRORth day of a month whose name appeared to be rendered as a small cocker spaniel.

‘No, but we got bigger fish. Where’s our little friends?’

‘We got a lock-on on their ship. Naught-three out. And they haven’t fired yet.’

‘Perfect. We got these pricks with their pants down. Open fire.’

‘But-’

‘Branley, how many times do I have to tell you to shut up? I don’t know who these cuddlefucks are, but they’re trying to kill us. So we gotta kill them first. Open. Fire.’

Munitions Officer Kotei yes Captained and pushed the big red button (you’d be surprised how many big red buttons there are on the average spaceship). That’s what Sarah liked about Kotei. That’s why he was the munitions head. He didn’t fuck about, he just did as he was told.

‘Missile out and inbound on our target. Impact in T minus twenty.’

‘Thank you, Officer.’ Sarah smiled over at Branley. She couldn’t wait to fire him. Into the nearest sun, preferably.

But Branley was busy manipulating the ship’s status display, intensely examining where they were, where they had been (or would be; logic and tenses are the first out the window when time travel comes knocking). Then he looked at his captain. Something was dawning behind those beady little rodent eyes. His jaw very slowly dropped and his eyes very slowly widened. It was only then that it hit Sarah. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

‘INCOMING BROADCAST’, the intercom announced.

Sarah closed her eyes and remembered the good old days, when this job was straightforward. Before time travel. When she could go to the bathroom in relative peace. The past, she reflected, isn’t what it used to be.

The broadcast began:

‘To whomever just opened fire on a military vessel: congrats. You’re already dead.’

submitted by /u/LJRoddy [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2YEdCn8

#Blogger #Story

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swelldomains · 7 years

Text

Content marketers - a smaller audience has sweeter results

Are you human?

I can not be sure, as there's no CAPTCHA to watch this post. However, in the meantime, I'm mosting likely to think yes.

Do you speak to humans?

If you're a human - however, yes. As well as if you're in the marketing organisation, definitely yes.

Does your content show that?

…

Maybe not. Surprisingly.

Despite that we're all human beings right here, and involve with humans daily - it's odd just how often I see digital material that does not truly show typical, human conversation.

Stop talking with the whole internet.

Keep your voice down. Yelling to everyone is getting you nowhere - as well as your beautifully curated content (tragically) lost in white sound. To safeguard genuine effect (by which I imply reach, engagement as well as ROI), you have to speak to an unique core: that gold nugget we call your target market - and only them. Your all-important follower base is fundamental to your content's success and, as an outcome, everything you develop requirements to be for them - and, when you market it, has to be routed at them, as well - utilizing your quiet, inside voice.

This isn't really limiting - rather the opposite. If you get the dedicated focus of a select market, they're even more most likely to provide your material the attention it is worthy of - involving with it, sharing it amongst their following (that are most likely to locate your content pertinent, also) and perhaps growing some pleasant conversions.

So… how's it done?

In human terms, 'loyalty' is cultivated where relationship lives - or at least, a common financial investment in each various other is established.

Digital material is the very same. Talk to your demographic as if you really know them. The closer you could obtain to your readership's rate of interests and feelings, as well as the even more you include it in your web content, the closer they'll feel to it (and also your brand, by organization).

Of program, for brand names, this can be a slightly challenging job - besides, it's not like you can analyse your reader's sort, dislikes, age, area and also even more without having fulfilled them.

Oh wait. Yes you can.

Analysing your core audience has actually never ever been easier, many thanks to the expanding variety of fab devices at our disposal - every one of which have the ability to offer excellent understandings into what your viewers resemble, as well as what they're chatting concerning - an incredible springboard where your content could summon the power to fly. From Twitter Analytics to large, data-crunchy beasts like Crimson Hexagon, you could 'be familiar with' your target market no matter what stage your brand is at.

Which brings us nicely to our next point ...

Research your individuals, before you in fact try to speak to them.

Anybody with a shred of social understanding recognizes that when you participate in on a conversation at a celebration (a truly enjoyable, wild celebration), you do not simply press your method as well as begin chatting over everyone regarding your solid feelings on salad.

Internet social decorum - you guessed it - coincides. You're not talking with everyone concerning anything (also known as, dealing with the entire net concerning general topics) - you're talking with a pick few regarding something particular, as well as are resultantly consisted of in the conversation and took note of as a result of the top quality as well as importance of your contribution.

The ethical? Learn more about your target market, and also check the online conversational floor, prior to you throw in your two cents.

Don' t fail to remember - your smaller target market also consists of individuals.

We've damaged down the entire net to find your core audience - but that's not sufficient if you desire your content to really hit the wonderful spot. Currently, you need to damage your core audience down even additional as well as develop 'identities' - a much more specific analysis of your readership which will certainly help maximise your material's chances of being relevant.

Personas are very important in distinguishing the distinctions between your following. In your study stage, you might discover that a huge sector of your readership are middle-aged guys interested in horticulture, but an additional big sector are young females that mostly enjoy Gilmore Girls - this does not indicate your content needs to try as well as attend to a middle-aged Gilmore Girls-obsessive garden enthusiast. That would be like speaking with two individuals at the same time at the very same (really enjoyable) rhubarb falls apart celebration concerning rhubarb as well as pastry respectively, as opposed to offering one or the various other your committed interest. So, attend to the members of your core group separately and also at the same time to get them invested in the discussion you're curating - as well as avoid speaking to every person at once.

Be human.

You understand your audience, you know the people within it and also you recognize your subject inside-out - currently the conversation can normally move, and your electronic popularity start to grow. The floor is yours.

Looking for even more content advertising and marketing juju? Drop us a line on our contact type and we'll remain in touch.

#marketing #social media #social media strategy

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anonarat · 7 years

Text

Chapter 3 - Sights and Splendour

There was a knock on the side of Aym’s palanquin. Masquerade had gotten used to the guards doing this, so drew back the light curtain shielding her from view.

“What is it,” asked Aym, feigning irritation.

“We are approaching The Rose Court and the city of Ertafye milady, if you wish to witness its splendor,” said the guard.

“One moment. I must compose myself,” replied Aym, drawing the curtain back across the palanquin. Now she just had to hope that her client was telling the truth. Digging into a pocket within her top, Aym withdrew a small vial filled with pills. An astute observer might note that there were enough pills in that vial for a few weeks at most, if one was to take them daily. Said observer would be right. Aym had enough of these pills to last her a month, and not a day longer.

Tipping out one of the innocuous white pills, Aym studied it for a moment, trying to determine anything more about it than what she had been told. No answers were forthcoming, so she threw it into her mouth and swallowed it.

Unlike most human medications and drugs, the pill worked near instantly. Faster still from Aym’s ability to consume glam. Immediately Aym felt a pressure to experience every emotion at once. The grief that she had been using to make her performance more convincing skyrocketed and she choked out a sob. It felt like the world was sharp and keen and tearing at her. She couldn’t keep her emotions in check even if she wanted to. It was a wholly unusual feeling for someone who had kept a tight reign on her emotions since birth.

Tentatively Aym tried to feel something besides grief. Drive, purpose, ambition. It was almost a relief as her emotions balanced out. Now more focussed, Aym began to bring her emotions up and down. As each one went up, she could lower the others. As one went down, the others necessarily rose. It was most disconcerting for her. Yet she had little time to master the vagaries of what the pill had unleashed.

“Open the curtains,” said Aym, the hitch in her voice an unintentional consequence of the sadness welled up inside of her. It felt almost as if she were undone, her body trembled slightly, and tears started drawing tracks down her cheeks. Beyond it all, her mind analysed, trying to balance her emotions so that she might be fit, and trying to understand what had happened to her.

Oh, her client had said that the drug would allow her to blend in with the other sparks, but they hadn’t specified how. The thought of having to consume that riotous cocktail day in and day out was listed quite high on Aym’s opinion of negative sensations. Not surprising really, it was baby’s first taste of always experiencing emotions. Unfortunately for her, it was the only thing that Aym knew about that would keep her from coming under scrutiny. She works it out later, don’t worry. The guards pulled back the light curtains of the palanquin. Ahead stood Ertafye and the Rose Court. Ertafye was a squat, stumbling, haphazard creation of a city, abutting the desert on three sides and the mountains of Ruination on the last. It was grossly impractical as a city location. Much commerce could travel around without needing to go through it. The only water could be gained from deep wells. There was little in the way of natural resources. Yet it was here that the fae of The Rose Court settled. By necessity, humans were gathered to serve.

The Rose Court was entirely and beautifully distinct. High walls grew tall over Ertafye. Graceful spires and curves were hinted at above the elegant crenellations of those walls. Glittering marble, silver, gold and ruby made up the walls, making the court gleam in the sun. It was a demonstration of power beyond mortal hands.

Such a sight allowed Aym to bleed off her grief to wonder without it seeming too out of place, and she relished such an opportunity. The metaphorical weight on her chest began to lift.

“It’s beautiful,” said Aym, almost to herself, yet also because that was what was expected of her.

And so on and so forth. I mean seeing the people of the town might have stirred up some measure of pity in a spark or ordinary human being. Instead Aym used that time to better acquaint herself with the effects of the pill. Mostly that involved spreading her emotions over as wide a range as possible. Even then, everything still felt much more than any humans in her experience could ever really feel. She thought that maintaining this level of emotion must be deeply exhausting day in and day out.

Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret dear listener, her emotions were being boosted to the same level as one might expect from a spark. Where most humans naturally have a fairly dim resting point for emotion, beaten down by the world, sparks are like a bonfire. Why, one spark generates enough emotion, and by extension glam, to be the equivalent of near a thousand humans. Naturally a spark can’t feel all of that emotion, so it all overflows, making it into a much easier to consume substance for the fae.

The palanquin finished its journey for the time, bringing Aym to stand before the grand gates of The Rose Court. Vast doors, made from a wood that Aym could not recognise, were decorated with yet more precious metals. The theme was obvious though, it was a door of roses and thorns, beautiful, deadly and impenetrable. It made a good excuse to shift more emotion to wonder.

Internally, Aym had begun wracking her brains for a way past this wall and gate when the time came to leave. It quickly became apparent that she would likely need another way out. Probably killing a servant and exfiltrating with their body.

A much smaller door opened within the gate, the join where it had met the rest of the wood was seamless. Because the door had glam infused, so yes, I’m being literal here.

In fact, it’s probably better to take a lot of these descriptions at face value, because the fae do so like using glam in their constructions. I’d say they take a perverse pleasure in doing things that mortals can’t do, but that really isn’t the case. Rather, the courts are especially designed to evoke wonder. Emotions fuel glam, and it far nicer to experience wonder than fear, though it does leave one more vulnerable.

A group of what Aym could only assume were servants, who were clad in mostly white, with the design of a red rose wrapping around the body, before flowering over the heart. Such a design was a not so subtle reminder of these human’s place, though time has worn the meaning of the reminder away from human thoughts. Now it was simply the uniform of the servants.

“Greetings Lady Aym, and welcome to The Rose Court. One of the masters is waiting for you, so please step this way,” said the servant at the head of the group.

Aym rose from the bed that had been her transport for the past week, and walked towards the group. She infused herself with some haughtiness, wonder and left some lingering amounts of grief and dread, presuming that this would be what the fae would expect to see. Well not so much see as experience, but you get the idea.

Assuming that the court guards, the bearers and her luggage would be dealt with by the squad of servants awaiting her, Aym simply crossed over to the lead servant.

“I thank you for your welcome. Please, lead the way,” said Aym. At once she realised she may have made something of a gaff, perhaps striding past the servants imperiously would have been more appropriate, but her course was committed now. The lead servant led her into The Rose Court.

***

Aym was led to a large receiving room, domed with a great, stained glass window. Whilst the room should have been in the shade of the wall, it was as if the light streamed through unimpeded. The room had a couple of small water channels that fed lush greenery on either side of the path, and the central circle where one of the fae waited.

Seeing a fae for the first time should fill anyone with dread, or at least, any human. From the outside, they are fickle, capricious things. Powerful, with only unworked iron as a weakness.

Alright, I’ll call it cold iron, I can tell that calling unworked just vexes you. To most folk, there isn’t much of a difference, but the distinction is important. After all, cold iron can mean a number of things, but unworked has a nice specificity to it.

Aym wasn’t just anyone, and she certainly wasn’t human, but she knew well enough to play her part. Dread was allowed to seep into the emotional composite, and Aym’s steps slowed, despite logically knowing that it shouldn’t be an issue.

The fae before her had unnaturally pale skin, near as white as any of the northern barbarians. Rich purple hair flowed down in waves from her head, just barely scraping the floor, and granting the creature modesty. Emerald eyes regarded Aym, the facets of the pupils reflecting the light oddly.

Yes, I am once again being somewhat literal, there was a slight change in hue between the pupil and the iris to differentiate them, but they were emerald. More accurately, I suppose, they looked entirely indistinguishable to emeralds to all natural eyes. Being fae, the creature’s actual shape was rather hidden by this glam that it projected to the world.

Aym took to one knee, and bowed before the fae on one knee as she had been taught by her client.

The fae walked towards her soundlessly, even lacking in the sound of breathing or the displacement of air. It stopped a couple of paces in front of Aym, and she could feel it looming over her. At the edge of her senses she could feel the faintest hint of emotion coming from the fae, trying to invade her with yet more dread and reverence. Remarkably prudently, or perhaps with part of her survival instinct kicking in, Aym let herself be dragged into the currents of emotion that started flooding her for a short while.

“Greetings Aym, formerly of The Court of Heights. I am Ythna, Queen, Sister to the king, and his consort. Be welcome in The Rose Court.”

“Your majesty, I do not deserve your presence,” replied Aym, replying as she had been taught. A high pitched laugh cut the air between the two.

“You need not worry so much about titles here, Courtier of the Heights. We are not so strictly delineated as your court is, we are not in constant competition with each other. We regularly mingle amongst the courtiers, instead of having them seek our approval,” said Ythna, her voice like silk, though silk with a viper beneath it, “We are a court of love and romance. Though your heart may ache at the absence of your lover, perhaps you can find another here who can soothe that ache.”

“I hope it to be as your majesty says,” said Aym in response, with no other option seeming particularly viable.

“Oh, lighten up Aym,” said Ythna gently, “I feel that we shall become the very best of friends, if not something more.”

Then, Ythna leaned down to whisper in Aym’s ear, “after all, I am the one to whom you shall be reporting your findings.”

Aym shivered involuntarily as Ythna drew a finger down her bare arm, pleasure radiating out from the touch. Ythna spoke again.

“What was lost, shall be found. What was old, shall be new again.”

To Aym, this sounded worryingly like a sign, so she had to put her faith in the fact that there was no countersign. Given that she was the only person coming from the Court of Heights; it seemed possible that there wasn’t one.

“As you say my lady,” replied Aym, weighing up possible escapes, and discarding them. The original Aym had kept rather tight-lipped about who her contacts would be, and what communication methods she would use with them once in The Rose Court. There was a near insufferable pause, almost as if Ythna was weighing up whether or not to kill Aym.

“Good,” said Ythna eventually, sounding pleased, though whether she actually was or not wasn’t clear. Ythna once again drew herself up to her full, impressive, height, and then extended a hand to Aym.

“Come. I shall introduce you to some of the other fae of the court and to the other courtiers,” Ythna’s tone brooked no refusal.

***

Ythna led Aym out of the receiving room that she had been in and out into the court proper. It was filled with wonders, both large and small. Plants grew, water burbled and the whole place was pleasantly warm. Statues of surpassing beauty were placed in small plazas. Light streamed through the walls, though no sun could be seen at present due to their height. Near to the walls was many a building, though one dominated the view.

It was a cross between a giant manor and a wizard’s tower. Not that wizards actually exist, but it gives the right sort of image. Many smaller towers branched off from it, making the top seem like a forest of spires. The whole thing was in green marble, accentuated with a bit of red.

There seemed to be a reasonable number of humans and things that were probably not human milling around near where Aym was being led. Given how barren the parts of the court that were further away were, Aym suspected that they had all come to view her, and now were acting nonchalantly.

Ythna raised the arm that was not currently holding Aym’s hand, and pointed to the impressive building.

“That is The Rose Court proper Aym. Do not enter it unsupervised by one of the Lords or Ladies of the court. If you do… unfortunate things shall happen to you, and I would prefer to prevent that.”

Aym nodded in agreement. Despite the fact that it was probably a bad idea in terms of thoughts, Aym had added befuddlement into the mix of her emotions. If she was supposed to be feeling things in greater excess, it seemed safer to have apparently natural reactions, even if logically it hurt her.

As Ythna led Aym through the general courtyard, Aym noted that the hedges and plants had been carefully cultivated to provide a number of hidden nooks and crannies. Based on what her client had told her of The Rose Court, these were no doubt for secret liaisons and trysts. Further, based on the numbers of people and fae she had already seen, there would always be a slight risk of being seen. It was possible this was to add a frisson of danger, but also provide fuel for any rumour mills within the court.

Whilst Ythna didn’t fully understand why this would be desirable, she had so far gotten the impression that whilst the fae seemed to do a number of things on whimsy, there was something calculating behind that. The exact nature of what the fae wanted was mysterious to Aym, but given her experiences so far, they likely wanted people to be emotional. She reasoned through the problem quickly deducing that there was some link between emotion and glam, though what that link was, was still open. Aym was right, of course. Given my emphasis on such things, no doubt you have also deduced this fact as well, but here is some out and out proof. That is, if you believe that I am telling you the whole truth.

“Over here is the recreation building,” said Ythna indicating a large, squat building with a ring of packed dirt around it, “Inside you may find playing areas for various games. I realise that it won’t be on quite the scale you are used to, but we don’t play for rank, only pride. No doubt you will be able to find others to give you game… provided you give them a suitable handicap. There are some others originally from the Court of Heights, and we try to encourage all our courtiers to do at least some exercise. A word to the wise though, sometimes it is more politick to lose a match.”

“Thank you, my lady. I shall make certain to take advantage of this kind provision.”

“Think nothing of it my dear,” said Ythna, running another tantalising finger down Aym’s arm, causing her to shiver slightly as her nerves went into overdrive, “whilst not so much as our… friends… in the Court of Heights, we do still love a good game of skill and athleticism.”

“Come now, I shall show you to your quarters. I think you will find them nicer than the barracks where you lived. I understand that you were mid-tier in your former court. Here, everyone is treated equally, and well,” said Ythna as she led Aym further into the court.

#The Rose Court #nanowrimo #I'm so far behind on my word count ;_;

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