#yet another build meme but listen. its true.

[chilipepperconverse]

*shaking you by the shoulders* do you see my vision

[needleandhammer]

Prism

Pairing: Robert Pronge x Reader; featuring Jake Jensen

Warnings: 18+ only, dark fic, non-con touch, kidnapping, it's Freezy so yeah

Notes: Happy spooky season! I cannot believe the writers I am following have led me onto the Freezy Train 😳

For a year, you worked alongside Jake. He came through your office suite to set up new computers one morning. Designated the unofficial tech responder, you reached out to him often, asked questions politely and endlessly until he resigned himself to visiting your office multiple times per week. Somehow, the two of you ended up having lunch together as he listened to you grumble about coworkers adverse to seeking technological solutions on their own. Then going to happy hour together. Then texting each other; Jake followed your lead until the two of you could speak in memes and emojis.

Your friend abruptly left his job a few months ago. With no response to your text messages, you swallowed down the disappointment of losing touch with a friend when adulting kept your circle so small already. You only hoped he was okay.

Now, after a late night at the office, your coworker Carter lies unconscious in your peripheral. The person responsible for knocking out Carter stalks toward you. You’re scrambling around your desk trying to keep distance between him and you, this stranger with scraggly hair hanging over a pair of thick spectacles.

You’re so startled, mind trying to salvage some kind of escape plan that you haven’t even tried yelling for help. You hurl a solid glass paperweight at him. Air rushes up your throat – a scream working its way out when you see him dodge and strike forward at you. His hands circle your wrist, you’re yanked against him and a painful blow to the base of your neck sends you sinking into blackness.

---

You wake with a start. Where are you?

Your hands roam, grasping lightly across your body in search of any new injuries while you breathe past the lingering pain at the back of your head. At least it wasn’t bleeding. Assured that you were able to stand and move with relative ease, you’re on your feet and tiptoeing to the door of the bedroom. Your shoes are gone, dammit.

You swallow hard, breathing deep against grogginess and the aching pulse at the base of your skull. That fucker isn’t here so you need to act.

Go out that door.

Wait. You need something. A weapon. Anything.

A shaky breath forces your stark fear at bay as you look around the room. You make it to the open closet door.

A pink color halts you physically and mentally. Pink. You collapse to your knees and grasp at the cotton fabric. The word printed on the pink shirt triggers a breathless sob that you can’t control.

Petunias

Oh gods, did this deranged man kidnap Jake too? What can he possibly want with you and your friend? Is Jake in some kind of trouble? Questions bombard your mind, tangling into nothing that makes sense. Your head aches. Your limbs feel weak. Has it been long enough that your body has weakened from lack of nourishment?

Beneath another shirt, you discover a scraggly object. It’s chestnut colored, wavy strands that sends a creeping shivering down your spine. You quickly drop the Petunias t-shirt over it, as if to hide some vile creature from sight, and peer around the room again.

Damn it. No light décor or metal objects you can arm yourself with. You’ll have to be quick.

The door gives a creak when you swing it open, revealing a small galley kitchen.

Your heart skips – dread douses you – you freeze when you see the figure standing opposite you at the far end of this small building. He turns, arms falling from the curtained window, to look at you.

You reel backward; your hands reach and claw for something, anything that might help you in this horrible circumstance.

Right back where you started. You made it barely a foot out of your prison.

Your captor descends upon you. You shriek, push and shove against him but his weight follows you, presses you down on the bed.

His palm stifles your cries while he easily restrains you.

“Awake are we?”

You shake your head. You don’t want to hear his voice. You close your eyes. You don’t want to look at him – afraid that your eyes are deceiving you.

He tsks. “Don’t be a brat. We can make this part quick.”

Growling, you shake his hand away and snap at him. “What the fuck are you talking about? Let me go.”

He scoffs at the additional impolite names you call him.

Panting, you glare at him. “What do you want?”

“You gonna play nice?”

You try to headbutt him.

He sighs in irritation.

Your wrists are snuggly wrapped and tied to one bed post. You lean away from him as much as possible where you sit on a corner of the mattress, cutting him with a glare.

He still hasn’t answered you. That cold dread weighs down in your gut as you force another question out.

“What did you do to Jake?”

“Jake?” His smile grows.

“Don’t play with me! That’s his shirt. He – he has a family. His sister and niece, they’re…” Your words die on your lips as he starts laughing.

“Oh, sugar,” he says with a fond look your way. “Time to break the bad news to you. Your buddy Jake is…Well, you wanna take a guess?”

“You hurt him?”

The cold smile does not waver. You swallow down the lump in your throat. You already know the answer.

“C’mon. Don’t leave me hanging,” he purrs at you, waiting for your next guess.

You’re not ready to accept it, despite the tangible evidence in front of you. Despite the bright t-shirt lying in the closet. Covering the brunette wig. It can’t be true.

This man’s face, his nose, his lips. You feel like you’re going mad as you keep being pulled back to those blue eyes. The glasses are gone; you can see his full brows, the aquamarine of his irises. That laugh that sounded wrong, even though the tenor flows through you in familiar waves.

His hair is now a natural deep brown. It's shorter, lacking the gel that previously held it up in blonde spikes. The wig must have just been a precaution for when he showed up at your office. And his facial hair is grown out more evenly and that alone could have transformed the man you thought you knew.

He disappeared months ago.

You study his eyes – you know their exact color – and recognize the mirth glinting beneath dark lashes. But your heart starts racing when his signature crooked smile doesn’t appear. Instead, a hard smirk twists his face into a stranger.

“Jake…” Maybe you hope invoking his name as you know it will make this all go away - will make the world make sense again. Maybe you want to cling to an impossible salvation.

He scoffs softly, a quiet murmur of your name on his lips, almost remorseful. Almost.

“The name’s Robert.”

Gone is the awkward, clumsy colleague you had grown close to. The man you formed a slow companionship with during late office hours sharing fast food while ranting about administration or complaining about the local asshole that stood at the corner of your block shouting right-wing rhetoric to people trying to get to work.

Gone is Jake Jensen, the cute nerd you called friend.

Robert Pronge closes in, looms before you. His fingers skim your jawline before he grips your face tight, deliberate.

“I couldn’t leave you behind,” he says, dipping even closer so his lips graze your cheek. You grow stiff at the gentle affection. His grip loosens enough that you can drop your gaze.

“I…d-don’t know you.” You don’t know this man. “I don’t.”

Robert watches as you press your forehead to your hands. He supposes it’s normal - you haven’t arrived at acceptance of reality yet. Your frame clenches with stress, the physiological response to danger. Robert has witnessed this countless times with countless hits.

A breathy chuckle tickles your skin. He knew you well enough at this point. “You’re a smart one, sugar.”

“No, no, no…”

“And you know now that ole Jake Jensen. Never existed.”

Faced with this man’s remorseless confession, you steel yourself for the inevitable.

“Are you – are you going to kill me?” You raise your eyes. You'll look at this man's face one last time, you won't be deceived in your final moments.

That dark chuckle returns.

“You think I risked showing up in town just for a quick kill?"

He cages you in, enclosing you between arms thick with muscle.

"No, sugar. Wouldn’t wanna waste a sweet thing like you.”

His mouth is on yours and for several seconds, the heated, hungry pressure stuns you. Confuses you. You squawk at the sensation of him probing for a deeper taste, and start twisting out of his hold.

Strong fingers tighten in your hair and make you whimper in pain, stilling enough for his tongue to delve into your mouth.

A quiet moan of satisfaction rumbles through Robert when he accesses the hot taste of you for the first time.

Robert decided long ago. Once his mask is peeled back – that blonde, chirpy mask – he’s taking you as his. And he’ll make sure you get to know the real him intimately.

------------------------------------------

A/N: Hurrah! I have been wanting to write a Jekyll and Hyde inspired fic for a while. Tis the season and all, so I present to you all: "Jensen and Pronge." muahahaha. I am trying to plan this out as a multipart fic. 😏 I'm gonna try to make this soft!dark bc that's the kind of shit I'm into.

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream Moments:

Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Monday 30th of November

Dream smp today!

(also I figured out the read more thing so the tags aren’t just my post anymore :D

Time to get more stacked today! (aka become absolutely op compared to the rest of the server lmao)

(with certain exceptions ofc but yknow)

1mil vid is on the way! Just thumbnail stuff left to finish!

Alerts are behind again rip (16k viewers before even playing yes!)

Scam train level 5 pog (although it crashed on his end)

little blade lives on!

“the entirety of l’manberg is covered in obsidian because tommy did an oopsy”

(if that’s what you want to call it lol)

FISHING STREAM (in the first five minutes lmao)

Phil called Ranboo being in the spider grinder lmao, he could tell from the lag

FIEST TRY GOD ROD WHAT

(LUCK OF THE SEA 3, LURE 3, UNBREAKING 3)

ONLY THING MISSING IS MENDING WHAT

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO ASHE FOR GIFTING SUBS I ACTUALLY GOT ONE WOW

ranboo just threatened puffy’s mushroom house, then went “idk what happened to it”

fishing stream and now hoping for a mending book!

Phil wants to take the sign down (yknow, ranboos pc background) bc it’s iconic but it ruins like, every clip/screenshot in the area

WILBUR WANTS (MAYBE) TO MAKE SOMETHING CANON REGARDING HIS MOTHER AND PHIL DOES NOT WANT THAT

It’s gonna be another fish isn’t it

WTF ITS NOT MENDING BUT IT IS LIKE, EVERYTHING ELSE FOR A SWORD

Also lol apparently ranboo moved into tommy’s house (build by phil) bc, and i quote, “the child doesn’t fucking use it”

rip the camera? it’s showing the menu lmao

also shoutout to the lesbian donating to beg her gf for some attention lmao

time to commit deforestation to the entire dream smp~~

i looked up bubble guppies for it, but yeah, i kinda get it

lmao phil started cutting down a tree and there was just a creeper chilling directly behind it

mic scuffed now oof

time to get a new pc ig

Somwhere else from Muzz is on and i’m having such terra swoop force vibes i can’t wait for the sequel

Phil had flashbacks going near his old retail store and i vibe with that tbh

Phil is suffering so much while chopping wood bc there’s like 3 people max who chop trees properly

lmao phil misspoke and called tommy fundy’s brother

then he corrected it and now chat is spamming “UNCLEINNIT”

phil’s absolute confusion at first noticing the trident pads, then going “thats 5head as F*” is a mood, i can’t wait for him to get a trident

420SUBS ALREADY WHAT ITS ONLY BEEN AN HOUR

SNOOP TIME

BLEND W SPEEDRUN

It’s the funniest thing to see the entire chat jamming to the song and then once every 50 messages or smth there’s this one confused newbie lmao

uhhh i think i just witnessed jack manifold finding out what happend to his home rip

back to bed bombing for ancient debris!

jschlatt on november 16th: “for personal reasons, i will be passing away”

Phil doesn’t know where flatty patty came from, he just knows it bothers quackity lmao

he just found out, apparently he thought it was a burger thing??? sometimes i pity this man what did he sign up for

the luck ran out apparently, not a single piece yet rip

Phil (and the others) just appreciate the art and the headcanons (and thus the debate continues on about which sibling is older)

hence they don’t confirm anything bc they don’t want to like,,, limit people?

phil likes the reaction meme of the person welcoming a really big wave (titled: me when i watch dream smp) and “angst” on the big wave lmao

also good to know chat has always had cults lmao some things don’t change

dono: “it’s CULTure” lmaoooo

(true tho)

rub it in that you get to listen to wilbur’s new song will you

TUBBO WHY DO YOU WANT PHIL TO GET DMCA’D

ANGST TIME BOTH TECHNO AND NIKI HAVENT SEEN GHOSTBUR YET

and now phil is suggesting that some people just cant see ghostbur

(that man knows exactly what he’s doing)

LMAO WILBUR CAME WITH A BS RUMOUR AND PHIL DIDNT NOTICE IT UNTIL CHAT TOLD HIM

is this wilbur’s new thing?

are we gonna get a “wilbur tells about weird rumours about phil he read on twitter” vid sand jesus style

WILBUR SAID HIS MOTHER IS A SAMGSUNG SMART FRIDGE

chat is spamming “SAPNAP?” now

Momza is shocked phil would do such things

TUBBO WATCHED THIS HAPPEN NO WHY

LMAO SOMEONE WITH SMART FRIDGE IN THEIR NAME JUST USED THEIR PRIME LMAOOOOO

Wilbur raises an interesting point: howtf did Phil find a smart fridge in 1971?

lol Ranboo donated bits just to beg phil to save him

ohh wilbur is going to tromso? that’s gonna be awesome (and really cold) this time of year!

also phil is only now learning that samsung smart fridge is sapnaps nickname rip

Tubbo is Suffering and so am I

SEVEN PIECES OF DEBRIS IN ONE BED WTF

so many cursed yet enlightened comments are being made but i cannot write down every single dono im sorry

Ranboo is finally being listened to poor boy

okay nvm

TUBBO JUST WHISPERED TO PHIL ASKING WHAT CUMZA IS NOOOO

Kristin is clarifying the ranboo thing to phil bless her

fundy has found flying striders?

I am havign flashbacks to techno getting kicked for his jumping horse how is fundy still online

Poor Phil he’s experiencing this fandom’s headcanon skills first hand

he thinks people are “reaching” this is nothing lmao

“kristin why you gotta do me like this”

the fanart is already coming why

it’s so cursed

WILBUR JUST PUBLICLY CALLED OUT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE THE SALMON AND THE FRIDGE ANYTHING BUT A SALMON AND A FRIDGE

Phil is seriously committed to the other side of that argument lmao

in an attempt to change the topic, phil is now gonna educate us on sharky and george

(tbh i know the tune but from the yogscast lmao)

Wilbur really just went and said “lemme just derail this stream and any that may follow where it gets even the slightest mention”

also yeah the striders are big scuffed, i’ll give it like 24hrs max before a) dream has to like, reset some parts of it or b) he just kills any and all stridersuntil he’s figured out a more permanent solution

Three generations at seeing the messed up striders: Fundy went “i could make money off of this somehow and immediately starts to fly them” Wilbur went “Cursed? let me just log on” and Phil is like, actually trying to figure out what happened lol

also the server is really lagging wow (probably related?)

Phil thinks the striders might be registered by the game as having elytra?

Wilbur says he might’ve found techno’s base and is now attempting to buy the broken strider from Fundy

Okay the spider farm might be the cause there’s like half a frame per second wtf

lol puffy had apparently forgotten she was standing there lmao almost killed the server

techno just logged on just to say “Technoblade” and left again lmao

also phil has been struggling for so long already, just to get a warped fungus so he can ride the scuffed striders

Lmao Phil called the iron door trap for dre ugly and fundy logged back on just to tell him it’s his

The striders are so scuffed it’s insane

fundy is just baby raging lol

STEALZA

Dauly reminder that Phil is just as chaotic as the rest of them: he just lauched a strider up to like, world limit or something lmao

lol i saw a clip pass by in chat called “strider goes nyoom” fitting

Fundy keeps logging back on to baby rage at phil lmao

“watch me bitch”

Screenshot time!

FUNDY SHOT IT NO WHY

“i’m gonna murder this child, im gonna fucking detroy-“

chat is spamming “KILLZA”, “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” and “KILL THE ORPHAN/FURRY”

so business as usual

Phil thinks that maaaaybe making a strider launcher would not be an “intended game mechanic” and he doesn’t want to get banned lol

“imagine an army, a faction of those flying striders in a war on the dream smp”

“the great lava strider war of dream smp”

we’re getting in dangerous attack on titan territory with this and the walls

phil just noticed the hole in the wall at pokimanes statue lol “the level of simps on this server”

To quench both his and chat’s bloodlust he’s gonna kill the strider fundy said was his lmao

“a soul for a soul”

D E A T H

d e t h

Second daily reminder that PHIL DOES WHATEVER HE WANTS the only thing chat can do is encourage him lmao

“Blood for the blood god’s dad” lmao

lmao jeff escaped and he’s now choosing every single workstation except for the one phil wants

annnd we’re back to replacing lecturns until phil gets the right book

“ranboo is still stuck, correct”

y o u c h

wtf is that book from vikk’s house lmao

“If tommy becomes too annoying you know what to do”???

Phil keeps entering the wrong house lmaoooo

Ranboo is finally gonna be saved!

Hbomb is here as well!

Ranboo gps lmao

Phil is fixing ranboos scuffed stip mine lmao

chat is spamming dadza again

They found ranboo!

Hbomb is donating fire res potions to ranboo lmao

“childproofing the mine”

“do what everybody else does on this server, steal”

HE LIVES

Phil refused to take ranboos diamonds lol

“I’m not gonna take the diamonds from someone who doesn’t have shoes”

it’s cute to like, watch adoption happen lmao

phil is gonna silk touch some diamonds for ranboo aww

“dadza come pick me up im scared” lmao

phil and ranboo talking about mining ya dirt only making sense when you have efficiency 4 diamond shovel like i didn’t find my first diamonds using my stone shovel on my survival world

Momza wants to know if ranboo likes lettuce lmao

he does!

I am hyped as hell for 1.17

(i also really want to know if you could make traps using the wardens,,, imagine)

Phil is teaching Ranboo about optifine dynamic lighting i love life

Ranboo told phil about his first encounter with techno lmao

I am living for these phil ranboo interactions and just,,,,, phil teaching ranboo about minecraft?

also kristin wants to know if he likes burnt lettuce?

lmao phil blocked in ranboo with the ores he needs to fortune

Fake signs (or are they?)

Stream is ending soon bc phil is recording something with tommy!

Probably hardcore on wednesday, but phil is just doing what he feels like every stream!

(the hunger for getting absolutely stacked on the smp is back lmao)

GaRbAgE dAy

[jurijurijurious]

How about 22, 25, 26 for the meme? Your choice of fandom(s)! <3

Cool, thanks!

22.Ship that you immediately fall in love with after one scene despite not considering it before.

I found this one quite hard but I'm gonna plump for John of Gaunt/Katherine Swynford in Anya Seton's famous historical novel, "Katherine". Now I know the whole premise of the book is Katherine's relationship with John - plus their relationship is historically true - so it should not be a surprising ship. But I'm sure everyone understands it when I say I don't expect to ship the obvious relationships until I see how they're handled - sometimes I read a novel, histfic or not, and the romance is bleh, rubbish, no chemistry or bad premise or poorly handled, etc...

I have listened to Seton's book more than I've actually read it and even though it is a bit dated, and the narrator of my audiobook isn't the best, I think I knew from the first scene where they share dialogue that yes, I will ship these two, there is fire and desire there, and there are lots of elements of the forbidden which, guh, give it to me, it's my thing!!

(I have no idea why this book has never been turned into a film or tv series, it's so well known, but seeing how a lot of history is handled in tv and film adaptations , maybe it's for the best? And who the devil would play John?? They'd need a perfect John.)

25. Favourite foe yay ship

This is my territory, literally most of my past ships are "bad guy" led and generally close to crack, really. So bloody unethical. I'll go for Megabyte/Dot from the 1990s CG animated TV show "ReBoot" which I'm revisiting at the moment. They are literally two sides of the same coin: entrepreneurs, businessmen, heads of intelligence networks, organised, quick-witted, well-spoken (particularly him, my God, Tony Jay's voieover is perfect!). They're also each at times de facto "leaders" of Mainframe (or "Megaframe" when it's the egotistical villain in charge, ofc). If their differences weren't so large, they would make an insane partnership. And yet the show even gives you an excuse to 'ship them when Megabyte returns disguised as Dot's true love Bob in what is one of the most controversial and even a bit silly storylines ever in the final series of the show. Poor ol' Dot very nearly marries him under the impression he is someone else. How... problematic. I ofc used to love it. And he is a villain after all.

There's a visual parallel between a scene in the first episode (where he does consequently drop her, which is hilarious) and then a scene in the final season (where there is possibly actual desire there from him? Who knows?). Foreboding indeed:

But anyway, problematic nature of the final season plot aside, I think with some rather intricate and slightly implausible leaps of the imagination, you could get them together. And what a formidable couple they would be.

26. Characters that you like in every dynamic (lovers,friends,enemies)

I will go for Captain Barbossa and Elizabeth Swann from "Pirates of the Caribbean" for this one to look at a different pairing. Them being "enemies" and then "friends" is already canon - you start with them as enemies in the "Curse of the Black Pearl", and its a spicy, fun, combative relationship, and then they build to a wonderfully endearing mentor-apprentice kinda relationship by "At World's End" where she literally absorbs all his guile, his wisdom, his wits, even his very words. It wouldn't take a great leap to envision them as lovers in an alternate reality somewhere; they have a great camaraderie and chemistry. Another formidable team!

Thanks for the asks!

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[alex-seity]

Ironically, I’m still thinking about what you said that day.

For the past year, I’ve been getting myself into knowing people. The internet is full of wonders and there’s a place for everyone, even me, who was never good at this whole socializing… thing. Six years ago, I wouldn’t think I would have more relationships than I could count with my fingers. I didn’t even have a phone, and I was sixteen. But now I worry I’m not going to be able to keep up with my socials. That sounds so stupid, and it is completely beyond my understanding how I came to sound like a popular person… which begs the question: do I have lots of friends or am I just having multiple superficial, short term relationships? Or alternatively: how do time, space, shyness and sincerity work on the internet.

Time works very differently in virtual spaces. You already know the running gag of a meme or a trend dying a week after it becomes viral, but I’m not writing about that. I’m writing about the vertiginous speed at which you might be forgotten; not as a trend or as an influencer, but as a person. As a face. The weather changes quite fast in online chats, and people come and go as they please. And on that note, having a deep conversation with an anonymous account in a public forum is a strange experience, you feel both naked and accepted, both vulnerable and understood. That’s a friend you make and miss at the blink of an eye. Once, a person on those forums told me the most comforting words I needed to hear at that time: write who you are. Doing that made me able to self-reflect and find myself when I was deeply lost. I could never thank them, because, as I said, the rain is heavy and the sound is muffled. You never know when the other has left, or if they ever heard you in the first place.

It can also pull the strings of space, both closer and further away. I remember the spring of 2018. I went to Sweden and made three friends who all liked Homestuck; now, for the past years, I’ve managed to still talk to them through my phone. Isn’t that awesome.

And cliché.

So far yet so close, so close yet so far. And even then, there’s an impossible distance that eludes every metric. I’m talking about coldness. You see, even if we have everyone at the palm of our hand, we might not be able to talk to them sometimes. We have places to be and other people to meet, not to mention activities we like to do alone. Meanwhile, an ice wall seems to be rising between you and the other. Relationships get cold quickly. Or maybe that’s just me. “It would be too weird to call them now” “Does he even remember me?” “What do I talk about?” I have these questions because I worry I’ll be rejected. Fear of rejection: one of the most present on the internet, because fictional space means distance is made up too, which is a good thing since you can block anyone that hurts you, but a bad thing since anyone can marginalize you as well. Conclusively, we have full agency in what near and far mean; that’s both empowering and frightening.

Following the last train of thought, I see anonymity as a boundary in public space very few communication media have. Anonymity; this monster that seems to have shadowed all internet discussion. Let’s get this out of the way first, anonymity only exists as a concept. Even if you can fake an identity, there are parts of your true self that are impossible to hide. If you choose not to show your face, your voice still expresses who you are. If you express yourself only by text, your writing style informs of a surprising number of distinguishable features that make you up. Secondly, I’ve learned that being anonymous isn’t necessarily harmful. By one side, there’s those who use it to shield themselves for real-life consequences of spreading hate. By the other, however, and since you choose what is known of you, there’s the more general population that use it to be themselves while also being safe—they can be hurt psychologically, but never physically.

As expected of a place where people have control over the boundaries between the private and the public, people here show more honesty than elsewhere. No one can judge your body, your voice, or even your nationality if you don’t let them. Your personality alone may speak without fear.

Even then, coldness is still unavoidable.

Aristotle—sorry to pull this guy out of his grave, I’m a philosophy student and can’t help to do constant parallels—Aristotle wrote about friendship in terms of a space that surpasses another. That means you and I are not friends because we go to the same school, but because we want to meet later at the park. This, in online relationships, translates to “we are not friends because we play the same game or talk in the same forum, but because we call each other in Discord later”. Although there’s a joy in playing games with certain people, they aren’t always our authentic friends; the ground between gaming-buddies and friends is misty. This is why I met so many people, but not as many friends along the way. Most people I discussed this with had the same experience of finding interesting folk while playing a game, growing emotional investment toward them, and abruptly seeing them disappear like they never existed. So coldness is unavoidable, because when you face the uncertainty of the future, when fear of loss crawls by your back, it’s really hard not to build a shelter made of the thickest ice around your heart; not to escape having hopes, so you can’t have them crushed either.

I got myself into knowing people on the internet thinking it would be easier, but ultimately friendship is the same wherever you find it. Time seems to fly faster, but people come and go, so have fun while you can and cry when it’s over. Distance is fictional, but you don’t need to stay anywhere, be it here or in real life, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. And sure, this conception of virtuality comes in part from exploring it, and in part out of my own biases. There are things you might relate to that are ultimately subjective: this place is immense, its people, diverse... its "weather", strange. Everyone follows a different path. And ironically, I’m still thinking about what you, apparently a stranger, said that day.

You told me about the snow in Finland and the solitude of snowflakes, about friends long-lost and the impossibility of time. About cookies, both in a browser and in the oven; about humans, both stupid and wishful. Morning routines, favorite candy, nail ideas, the sun in Australia, the cliffs of Norway. We shared poems and songs, and I listened to your troubles and you listened to mine. All of these voices I’ll remember and consider my friends. Even if I lose them in the digital space, my arms will always be open to them, and to any kind stranger.

[burnedbyshoto]

Of Love and Flowers

word count: 4,006

warnings: sfw

a/n: this was supposed to come out a few days ago, but i’m trash lmao and didn’t have it ready at all until this morning!!!! if you follow me, I told you the theme about this post through an ask meme yesterday ;) enjoy

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.” - Johann Wolfgang von

There are 20,182,852 words in the world.

There are over 2,000 used kanji in the Japanese language.

There are over 100 different words of expressing that you love someone.

There is only one way to say ‘I love you.’

There is only one Todoroki Shouto.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Flower shops are some of the most peaceful places in the world. The air smells heavily of the perfume from the plants. The toasty environment of the room, the way that rain or shine it was always bright in the shop.

The flowers sitting in each of their own little packages call and entrance strangers. Making people fish out a few yen to buy someone they loved a flower. Most always grabbed a simple red rose, the most iconic sign of love.

Love.

Your fingers ghosted over the flowers before you. The waxy softness of the petal running smoothly under your fingertip. The frosty coldness of February winter clung to your face as you stared at the carnations on display.

“Are you getting any flowers today, brat?” The small flower shop owner barks at you. Her wrinkled hands go to sit on her waist in a sassy pose, her eyes squinted as she looked up at you. “All you do is come to stare at my flowers, touch them with your oily fingers, and scare off my customers!”

The stance she is taking should be one of reprimanding, but your face warms in love for her. “Sorry, Ami-sama, these carnations were just calling my name today.” You laugh pulling at the white carnation that you had been admiring.

“What’s so good about getting yourself flowers?! Why don’t you get that handsome boyfriend of yours to get you some flowers? Tch, you bring him around once and now I never see him again! Who do you take me for?” She scolds you, her arms folded as she thinks about who you brought.

“Ami-sama, you know—” Your eyes widen at her judgment, but she continues on.

“He was such a handsome boy, tall and strong looking, too! He could do something about that scar… tell him I know someone with a quirk who can remove all scars! Just because of you I’ll give him her number, and she’ll do it for free!”

The groan that leaves your lips is joined with a wispy trail of air that leaves your mouth.

Deciding not to fight her, you smile politely. “As much as Shouto would appreciate the number, I don’t think he wants to get rid of his scar.”

“Bah,” Ami humphs as she takes the white carnation and places it within your fingers. “Using his first name though? I didn’t realize you young lovers were that deep in your relationship!”

Your face flushes as you take the flower. You and Shouto that deep in your relationship? No, he just asked you to call him that and who were you to say no? After all—

“Aren’t you going back to school, brat? You’re going to be late! Don’t you dare make me take that flower back!” Ami harasses you shooing you away as you laugh loudly.

“I’ll be back after classes to pick up flowers for my friend’s birthday!” You call out as you take off running.

“Bring back your handsome boyfriend, he makes me want to be young again!” She yells out after to you.

You don’t really hear her as you continue running. You had gone home on Saturday night to spend Sunday with your family because you had to go to visit the doctor. It was now Monday morning. As it was the end of your second year in U.A., you were running down the old familiar streets to get to the school’s campus. The white carnation in your hand a hopeful prayer for the rest of the week.

This was going to be a good week.

This was going to be the best week.

“Y/n?” A voice called for you as you crashed through the front gates.

Out of breath, you snapped your head to your left to see Shouto standing there. Backpack slung on his shoulder, eyes light in amusement as you waved.

“You just got back, too?” Shouto asks as he waits for you to come and walk with him. You nod your head, unable to speak still, it was just so hard to breathe. “How was your visit?”

“Oh… ya know…” You pant as you drag your heels over to where Shouto is waiting for you. “Went to the doctor’s appointment and my mom made me so much food.”

“How was the doctor’s appointment?” Shouto asks out of concern. His eyebrows raised as the two of you begin walking towards the school building. Other students were also making their way into the glass building.

“Well,” You sigh looking away from him. “I was told that they don’t know why I’m having issues with my breathing? Just to keep monitoring it and I’ll be going back in to get more testing done.”

Shouto nods his head as he opens the door for you, letting you step through before himself. “You’ll let me know right away what’s wrong, right?”

“You’ll be the first to know.” You giggle softly as the two of you make your way to the lockers. “Shouto, do you want this flower?” You ask handing him carnation with a soft smile.

Looking at it, Shouto’s face contorts slightly. “Depends, what does it mean?”

“Sweet and lovely, women’s good luck gift, and innocence.” You hum looking back at him with a grin. “I think it’s a perfect flower. Don’t you think?”

Shouto smiles softly, one that knocks your breath from your lungs as he takes it from your fingers. Chills run down your arms as his warm hands brush against yours. Your eyes flutter closed as his warm and soft lips come to press against your cheeks. Electricity flowing through your being as he pulls away.

“Thank you, y/n,” Shouto whispers to you.

Unable to speak, your body and mind so convoluted with only the mere thought of Shouto, you nod.

“Are you ready to walk to class?” He asks looking down at the pristine flower. How incredibly fit for a man like Shouto.

The tightness in your chest increases at the sound of his voice as you shake your head. “I need to use t-the restroom really quick? You can go on without me, I’ll catch up?”

Shouto sighs, but agrees as he waves and leaves you as you quickly rush towards the restroom.

Oh, how he made you feel so warm and safe.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Daisy chains were so beautiful.

A true statement of floral beauty, yet so irritating to make.

The stems of the daisies crinkled under your hold. Your eyebrows scrunching as you concentrated on the logistics of this small task. You were nearly done with the crown, but your fingers shook as if this was loop one.

“What are you making?” A voice asks from behind you.

Having long ago sensed them, you don’t flinch as you secure the daisy onto the chain.

“Ami-sama had asked for me to make her… three daisy chains…” You mumble concentrating on the task at hand. “I don’t know why either. But, she did request I bring you with me when I drop it off.”

Shouto shifts from behind you to come and sit down on the couch beside you. “I think Ami really likes me?” He remarks as if unsure if that was correct.

“Ami-sama is obsessed with you,” You mumble as you look at the half-and-half boy.

Placing down the daisy chain you grinned at Shouto. Shouo was now admiring the already finished chains. The warm air of May weather filled the common room, as you pulled your hair from its ponytail. Shouto’s fingers gently trace around the crown until he finally places it down.

Your chin was tucked between your knees, your feet resting on the couch. You continued to gaze at Shouto as he looks at you.

“Would you mind teaching me?” Shouto asked with a small smile.

A small smile with the power to steal your breath away. Your own small smile overcomes your features as you shift closer to Shouto, “Here!” You say grabbing the other group of daisies.

With your shoulder pressed against Shouto’s arm, you explained to him how to make the daisy chain. Your instructions clear, concise, and soft. Shouto listened to every single word willingly, intensely, and carefully. Your smaller hands sat on top of his as you showed him how to make the chain. The tremor in your fingers is now gone as you guided him. His warm hands following your every action. The two of you moving without instruction, without words. Your breathing stills as he suddenly looks at you. His eyes softly opened, his lips inviting you in, and his aroma stilling your pounding chest.

Why did he have this effect on you?

“Do you think this is something my girlfriend would appreciate if I made her one?” He asks you, a small and goofy smile on his face.

“She would.” You grin back, your cheeks hurting as you giggled softly.

“What do daisies mean?” Shouto asks as he begins making the daisy chain without your assistance.

“Innocence, I’ll never tell, and purity.” You inform him as you grab your own chain.

“You really know your flowers.” Shouto murmurs as he reaches for another daisy.

He was much better at this than you were, but you didn’t mind at all. Seeing him making these chains here with you was enough to keep your competitive spirit down.

“It’s my secret talent,” You tease with a grin. “My grandma has a flower-based quirk, super weird. Whenever she has emotions flowers will sprout on her body, so I learned them all just in case she was ever sad.”

Shouto hums as he nods, his eyes flickering over to you again.

“I don’t know anything except red roses and white lilies.”

“Love, I love you.” You say as you focus back onto the daisies, your face burning as you felt Shouto whip his head towards you. “Purity and majesty.”

“Yes,” Shouto laughs a little as he shakes his head. After all, you had never once told him those words. It would be a pretty lame confession to say it right now. “Maybe I didn’t know lilies after all?”

Your returned your sights on the boy who held your heart. “What did you think it meant?”

“You’ve made my life complete.” Shouto sighs, his eyes locking with yours.

A blush overcomes your cheeks as you shake your head. What an idiot throwing meanings like that around. “That is the meaning behind lily of the valley.” You correct with a shake of your head. “Those flowers you have to be careful with, they’re—”

“Invasive and toxic,” Shouto says with you.

A gleaming smile overcomes your face as you nod, “You do know something about flowers.”

“You made me slightly interested in them, y/n,” Shouto confesses with a small shove to your shoulder. Confusion fills you as you stare at Shouto, his eyes locking with yours as his head slightly tilts. Clearing his throat, a soft pink hue spreads on his cheeks. “You’re so passionate about flowers that I had to learn something about it.”

Without asking, as you were overcome with your love for the boy sitting next to you, your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him into a hug.

“The daisies!” Shouto reminds you, but you don’t let go as you feel Shouto move the flowers around for him to finally hug you back.

His arms are safe, warm, and you want nothing more than to melt in his embrace and never again come out.

It takes a few moments more, but you pull away, your cheeks burning as Shouto tells you that it’s okay. There is no reason to be embarrassed.

“Well,” Shouto stands finally, the daisy chains now completed. “I have a date to prepare for.” His smile is warm as it is loving.

You roll your eyes playfully as you nudge him, “Go get ready. I’ll see you later?”

“Of course.”

As you watch him leave, you cough. Your chest feels tight as you stand up, going to use the restroom. There wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do for that boy.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

The tarnished flowers in front of you made you tremble.

Broken flowers on the floor dead, ruined, forever unloved.

You weren’t able to stand up, your stance had you on your knees staring at the colored mess before you.

This couldn’t be happening.

Your fingers trembled as you tried to gather the flowers. The sticky substance from their broken stems is thick against your fingers as you tried to hold them.

Soft and quiet sobs wretched through your body. The desperation in your actions unbecoming as you pulled the flowers to your chest.

“Y/n?” Shouto asks from before you. Your head snaps up to see Shouto kneeling down, gathering the ruined flowers in his hands. “What happened? Who did this to you?” He asks you intently, curiously, and almost angrily.

“I-I wasn’t watching where I was going!” You stammer embarrassed. “I crashed into someone and I ruined your flowers.”

Shouto’s eyebrows relaxed, his eyes widening as he stares at you. “My flowers?”

You hesitate not daring to look up at him just yet, “Y-Yeah.” You whisper. “It’s been a hard few past months, you know that.”

Shouto nods his head, he did know that. Your breathing was still causing you issues and no one knew why.

“You’ve been amazing and sweet, and always there for me!” You explain further, the flowers now in your arms and in his. “I just… I just wanted to show you in a way that made sense to me that I appreciated everything you’ve been doing. I’m not good with words, but I’m great with flowers, so I just wanted to express that in a way that made me happy.”

Shouto’s eyes soften as he chuckles.

“I would have been okay with a simple thank you text.”

“But you’ve been doing too much for a text.” You laugh as he helps you stand up. “I don’t know how to cook cold soba, I also can’t really afford to buy anything expensive, so I figured you’d like some flowers! I mean, I know most don’t but I figured maybe because you like flowers a bit more it could be like… like an inside joke?”

Shouto nods his head as he softly rearranges your hair. His strong fingers pushing your hair into place, careful not to tangle your locks. Your heart rate is high as his fingers stroke your face.

“Well, even though it’s ruined, can I try to see if I understand the message?” He asks you staring at the different arrangements of flowers in the two of your arms.

“Have at it.” You mumble drunk off of his touch.

Shouto stares intently at the different flowers. His cheeks puffing out as the two of you stare at each flower.

“If I’m being honest,” Shouto chuckles. “I don’t actually know how these flowers look like.”

The grin that overcomes your features at that confession makes you forget that you had once been sad.

“Yellow tulip?” You say presenting the flower.

“There’s sunshine in your smile.” Shouto chuckles.

“Sweet pea’s?”

“Thank you for your time.”

“Bells of Ireland?”

“Good luck.”

“You got them!” You praise with a grin. Shouto’s cheeks burn red as he rubs the back of his neck.

“I told you I was…” He mumbles. “I’m glad that I was able to remember all those. There are so many flowers?”

“Oh, I know!” You laugh clutching the flowers closer to you.

“But what about those two flowers you didn’t mention?”

Your eyes fall on the flowers you had been trying to hide.

“Oh, those were put by accident into the bouquet!” You laugh.

“I want to try to give you their meanings though.”

You shake your head insistently. The center of your world paused, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Another day then?”

You nod your head, looking away.

“Can… can I give you a hug right now?” Shouto askes you. “You look like you need one.”

A weak nod is all you can offer Shouto as his arms wrap around you. The different scents of the flowers between you have suddenly stopped smelling. All you can breathe in was the cologne that Shouto uses. Overwhelming and invading, you feel yourself collapsing into his hold as the two of you stand in the middle of the school’s hallway.

“You ready to go?” Shouto asks.

With tears brimming at your eyes you nod your head. “P-Please?”

But he doesn’t notice when you pick a flower petal out of your mouth.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

You were feeling dizzy today. Your body curled into the couch as you watched your classmates struggle to make you feel better.

“You’re a fucking idiot for letting things get this far!” Bakugou yells at you as he slams a tray of food over your lap.

“Don’t yell at her!” Kirishima intervenes, pushing the hot head away from you as he hands you a cup of juice. “You’re fine, y/l/n-chan, but… I think you need to tell him.”

“I can’t tell Shouto…” You mumble as you stare at the food. It looked so delicious, but you knew better than to eat like this. Everything you had been consuming had been immediately thrown up.

Mina shakes her head from beside you, she had a bag for any throw-up, and a box of tissues ready. “Telling Todoroki isn’t going to do anything for her…”

“You don’t know that!” Uraraka interjects. Her face screaming her concern, her permanent blush seemed to be a bit weaker today.

Your hands tremble as you push the tray away from you. “He’s right…” You mutter as you stand up. “I need to tell him…”

“That is not happening.” Came four different voices.

Your chest is tight and heavy and you’re on your feet.

There is so much happening around you, hands grabbing onto your body, trying to get you to stay. There is nothing happening within you, just a power telling you that you needed to talk to Shouto. The reality was that you shouldn’t have won your seven classmates trying to keep you down in the common space. But somehow you persevered pushing through and getting to the top floor.

Your heart hammered in your head, your body feeling weak and shaky as you knocked on his door.

It took only ten seconds until the door was opened, and there stood Shouto.

A white button-down, navy blue slacks, and a black-tie around his neck.

“Y/n?” He asks taken aback, his eyes wide at your physical appearance.

“W-What are you doing?” You ask, your cheeks hot with your sickness.

“I’m finishing getting ready to go out.” He says as he pushes his hair back. “Are you feeling okay?”

Your breathing stopped as you stared at him, what you needed to tell him no longer there as your mouth opened.

“I lied to you.”

Shouto’s eyes narrowed in confusion, “About what?”

“The flowers.”

“What—?”

“White carnations… from the day you caught me coming back from home. T-They also mean pure love. Daisies they also mean loyal love! And the two flowers you saw just l-last week… those are… they’re—”

“Todoroki-kun, are you — oh! Y/l/n-chan I didn’t see you!”

Your body stiffens as you turn to see Momo dressed up in one of her prettiest outfits. A navy blue formal dress that somehow accentuated her curves and made her even more beautiful.

“Yaomomo.” You greeted with a smile. You felt ugly, out of place, a weak girl crying to a man who wasn’t hers. Seeking attention and comfort from a man who would never be hers. “Are you guys going out on a date tonight?”

“Yes! My family is hosting a lavish dinner, and I figured it was time Todoroki-kun met my family!”

Your heart shattered as you pretended to be happy. “C-Congratulations! This is a really big step!” You try to express your elation, but it feels flat.

“I’m ready though, Momo,” Shouto says softly to his girlfriend. “Y/n was just telling me the actual meanings to the flowers.”

“Oh yes, Shouto told me all about how you’ve been helping him with the flowers! You have amazing taste!” Momo gushes as you shake your head looking down.

“I-It’s nothing…” You glance back at Shouto who looked at you, waiting for the rest of the information. “Um, I’ll tell you when you get back? I don’t want to make you late…”

“You sure?”

“Positive…”

“Okay…”

You watched as they walked away, Shouto’s arm wrapping around Momo’s waist as he brings her in close. His lips pressing against hers.

It’s no use.

Your heart hurts too much.

Your lungs giving out as you take off running. You rushed past them, their concerned voices unheard as you slam into your room.

Your head is over the toilet as you pant heavily, a thick wad of something traveling up your throat. Heave after heave, until something splatters into the toilet.

The first flower: a red carnation.

My heart aches for you.

Admiration.

Whimpering cries escape your lips as red petals fly from your mouth. The clear toilet water turning red as blood splattered from your mouth.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It burns.

You admire Shouto, your heart aches for him, but he isn’t yours to have.

Another flower is stuck in your throat before it too tumbles out into the toilet before you.

The second flower: a striped carnation.

No.

Refusal.

Sorry, I can’t be with you.

I wish I could be with you.

Shouto didn’t love you. He denied you long before, a wordless rejection when he told you he had asked Momo out that one night. His eyes told you he was sorry he couldn’t be with you as he had been fighting his own feelings for you, but Momo was safe. Momo made him happy. You wished you had gathered the courage to tell him of your own feelings. You wished you could be with you, you wanted to be with him.

Your body would not stop shaking as striped petals fell mockingly slow into the toilet. Breezing and sweet.

A mockery to the love you held for him.

The one-sided feelings that were to never be reciprocated.

Then the third flower was beginning to make it’s way up, and you stilled.

The doctors said months ago that by the time the third unique flower had come it would be too late.

You didn’t want surgery.

You didn’t want to lose your emotions or memories of Shouto. Not when he made your heart soar. Not when he was everything.

You didn’t want to die.

But nothing was working.

The banging on your door started as soon as you began heaving it up.

The flower strangling you as you tried to breathe.

The flower you had wondered about for the past seven months almost refusing to come out. It stayed until your door was exploded from the hinges.

It expelled from your mouth as you stopped breathing. Your body collapsing as blood streamed from your mouth. Yells falling deaf in your ears as some screamed to call the ambulance. But your eyes focused on the flower that laid mockingly on your chest.

Beautiful, pristine, and unaffected.

A primrose.

The world was quickly turning dark as you mumbled Shouto’s name. Strong arms lifting your dying body as your eyes drifted to the heterochromia eyed boy who now held you. His neck strained as he yelled orders, his eyes snapping back down to yours as he began moving.

His eyes were wide, shocked, scared.

“I love you…” You whisper as your body felt light. “I can’t live without you… and I’m so so sorry Shouto...”

“Y/N!”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #348

“nothing will be free  /  nothing will be done  /  black out the sun”

Do you have any famous relatives? My third or so cousin is the author of Not Without My Daughter, but she's not like a smash hit or anything that most people know. I really do recommend the book, though. It's a long read, but a beautiful, true story. Do you care about celebrity gossip? Nah. Have you ever failed a science course in high school? No; I was very good at science. What’s your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Does your house have a basement? No. No house I've ever lived in has had one. Do you like Hot Topic? Well duh. Do you think imagination is valuable? VERY! Just imagine how many incredible things wouldn't exist without it. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? Unspeakably happy, and I felt like I was building a future with someone. I felt like I had purpose, which I should mention to anyone reading is a mindset to NEVER adopt. No one gives you purpose; you're born with it. How much weight can you lift at once? Ha, not a lot. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want a black one with faux snow on the branches, then maybe red ornaments. Kinda look like blood dripping off. Sounds metal. Name three YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. Lately, John Wolfe, The Dark Den, and Aim To Head Mix. Have you ever bought a designer purse? No. Do you wear jewelry often? No. What color was your senior prom dress? Black. Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors, but idr which. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I'd love to. What was your first favorite color? Red. What do you think about horror movies? I love them. If you love them, what’s your favorite? I really enjoy The Crazies and both The Blair Witch Project movies. Oh, and of course Silent Hill. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I don't have the money to get anyone presents... and while I sometimes get ideas about something I could make someone, then it wouldn't be fair to the rest of my family if I don't make them something, too. What’s your favorite word and why? I really like the sound of "serendipity," as well as its meaning. It's just a pretty, nice word. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Not really... I think the coolest thing I made was when I put the clay heart I made in Art into a shadowbox, and a poem I wrote was in the background. It was a gift for Jason. I remember working really hard on the whole process and being really happy with it. I don't want to know what he's done with it since. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? I don't know. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Everyone knows about Venus' terrarium by now... Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? No. Tell me one of your worst habits. Catastrophizing. I take a tiny seed of something potentially bad, and in seconds it's a damn redwood tree. And I do mean "in seconds." What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I don't know, I don't have any particularly unique ones, I think. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just use earbuds. Do you think you would be a good therapist? You know, it's funny, I've actually pictured myself as one a few times, given my level of understanding and empathy for people, as well as how deeply I want to see others succeed and spread the word that recovery from things like depression is very possible. I've never truly entertained the thought, though, given I'm quite sure I legally couldn't be given my suicidal past and mental illnesses. There is also NO way I could listen to so many people's suffering and manage to stay healthy myself, so, no therapist position for me, thanks. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, 100%. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Roman has an adorable navy one with a bowtie. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? Old friends, sure. What is something you want to begin learning? I want to improve my ability to perform what in therapy is called "opposite action," where you do the opposite of what your depression (or other conditions) make you want to do. It always helps me feel good, like when I draw even when I don't initially feel like it, but it's rough to really force yourself to do it. What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? Ice cream is my comfort food. What is a quote you find comfort in? There are really a lot, but none come to mind immediately, gah. What is one Tumblr blog you really appreciate? I actually haven't been on my main Tumblr in months, but oh my god there is a Markiplier blog called "lady-raziel" and she is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. The meme quality is A+. What is a comfort movie/show for you? When I actually liked watching movies, I enjoyed watching Silent Hill when I was down. That whole franchise just makes me so happy. What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? That I'm PROUD of, idk. I'm not that happy with the last drawing I made, and I haven't done any serious writing lately that I find noteworthy. What is a video game that you find comforting? Shadow of the Colossus is probably #1. I find it so relaxing while equally epic as fuck. The soundtrack is to die for, and after playing it a billion times, it's pretty easy for me to kinda breeze through and just enjoy myself. Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently? No. Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? THE MOUNTAINS!!! Particularly in the woods IN the mountains! Are you closer to your mother’s or father’s side of the family? Mom's. I don't even remember anyone from Dad's. Have you ever been in a “perfect relationship”? I thought so. Have you ever lost a fingernail or toenail? No. Were you a Disney or Nickelodeon kid? I preferred Disney. Have you ever been inside a jail/prison? No, and I don't plan on it. Have you ever dated a guy with a beard, mustache, or goatee? Jason had a goatee usually. He'd go clean-shaven sometimes. Did you ever name your stuffed animals? I named every single one I got as a kid. Now I don't, really, unless they're really special. What’s the name of the person who cuts your hair? I'd rather not share, given her name is very unique. Do you like cheeseburgers? Yes, they're one of my favorite foods. Do you have a Flickr? Yes, but I don't use it anymore. Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? No. Do you drink milk? Yeah, I love milk. Where was your FB display pic taken? My room. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yeah; white rice. My dumb ass didn't realize it had JUST come off the stove. My tongue hurt literally for weeks. Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No. Do you own any CLOTHES from Victoria’s Secret? Er, are undergarments not clothes? But I know what you mean. No. What are your grandfathers’ names? William and... I can't remember Dad's dad's name. Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Well yeah. Are you against seances? I don't know if I believe in them being effective, but either way, they seem like a bad idea. Even risking luring a negative energy/spirit to you is something I'd stay away from. Do you own any superhero shirts? No, just Harley Quinn ones, some with the Joker on them, too. I need to toss 'em though because I am like, violently against romanticizing their abusive relationship. I used to just like them as a story character couple, but I got to a place where it just seemed... wrong to "glorify" it by wearing merch and stuff. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica, durrrr. Who is the biggest jerk you’ve ever met? Can you believe that would be my former best friend? Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never had an animal in my path. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you like kissing in public? If you're my serious s/o, I could care less, so long as it's a simple peck. I'm not making out in front of people. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't know. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I don't know. I'm lonely and love feels amazing, but I need to get my life on track before I can be a good partner to someone and not just dead weight. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Huh, funny, he's the one that walked away. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Uhhh that would depend on how serious we are, where we are, and just what mood I'm in. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? ugh What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? also ugh What’s your dirtiest secret? TMI AHEAD. Probably receiving oral while bare-ass naked on the chaise in the living room while we were home alone. Or having sex in my sister’s bed. Oops. Would you ever get lyrics tattooed on yourself? Yeah. I already do, anyway, and I plan on getting another. Can you photoshop images well? I'm decent at it. Where did you last drive to? Mom and I went to go get our Covid vaccines today. What’s the first verse of the last song you listened to? "I don't know what we're supposed to be, but I know we lost it along the way to something better, something so much more than pleasure that we seek, so blind inside to fill these holes left by these lies that we tell to ourselves as we manufacture our own hell." What do you hear right now? The aforementioned song: "BLACKOUT" by 3TEETH. What was the last thing you laughed about? This is so fucking immature lmao but when we were driving earlier, we passed a gas station that had a sign that was advertising Coke, but due to space limitations, it abbreviated to "2 liter Cok" and I cackled like a child. Mom laughed harder than I did. Do you know any gay people personally? Ye. What was the last thing that startled you? I think it was a car hoonking at somebody the other day. What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad? Today's been a kind of rough PTSD day thanks to Facebook. My old high school friend had her beautiful daughter, a childhood friend just got married the other day, another friend is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks... It's just weird but even more painful to know it was the life I once fantasized about with a guy that just dropped me and made a break for it. I hate admitting that there's this deep, deep bitterness in me about it, like he took my life away from me, even though that's of course very unfair to say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, so moving on with my day.

[onlynight-onlylight]

Encounter

Words: 2,6K

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slice of life, Stranger to lover (?)

Summary: You will never know when and where love comes to you. Moreover when it comes from a perfect man that everyone adores.

Note: I’m surprised myself when writing this short fic of Jin. I didn’t expect the story to be like this haha. I write this for Jin’s birthday which is next week!!! And this is my first time to write after a looooong time so I hope it’s not too awkward.

Dani: Are you free today?

The very first message I check in the morning comes from my best friend. I make sure that today is Saturday before I send a reply.

Me: Yeah. Why?

Dani: I bet you haven’t check the group chat yet. Seonho asks us to meet today, reunion with hidden agenda I guess.

I open an active group chat consists of my high school friends. We actually don’t talk often but we always give each others’ updates to maintain good relationship. I scroll a little bit because everyone is sending message. When I see a picture, I finally understand the hidden agenda Dani’s told me just now. Seonho is getting married. Seonho, my biggest crush during high school.

**

“Are you coming?” Seokyung & Dani are on the way to the café. Some of friends will meet today, for the sake of reunion, and for early celebration of Seonho’s wedding. These girls have been my up and down when trying my best to keep my secret crush hidden. I’ve said to them many times that the silly crush is gone now, but I can’t lie that something does feel strange. And now they unnecessary worry about me.

“Of course. Call me again when you arrive, I’m at the nearby park.”

“Going out with your camera again?”

“Yes. I don’t want to waste a good day like this”

“Okay. Don’t stay under the sun too long”

I walk around the park, following the line of trees. It’s getting warmer as welcoming spring season but sometime the wind is still too cold for me. I take some pictures when find something that catch my eyes. It’s always entertaining to watch people’s interaction. I often sit alone and enjoy the breeze. It helps me clearing my mind when days feel too rough. Sometimes, I get bonus to see beautiful faces for my camera to catch. Just like that one particular man who just walks out from the café. He must be model or actor to have that gorgeous face and perfect proportion.

 I take few pictures of him. I know they will turn out good even though I don’t take its properly. It’s surely not because I’m a good photographer but the object. It makes me smile. It will be nice to get this kind of pictures every time I shoot.

*Dani calling*

It’s time to be back to reality.

 I make a promise earlier that whatever happened today it won’t break me down, not again. I might like him in the past but it’s all in the past. He will forever see me as a friend and I know that from the very start. I know it well. But it’s just I get a closure that I needed today when I get his wedding invitation. I can hold it well in front of him and my friends. But somehow, a tear escapes from my eye.

I look at the film camera I bring today. I want to make memories with them, with Seonho too, using his camera so I cannot have second thought after the photo taken and delete it. This should be one of ways for me to toughen myself and be true to my own words. I’ve done liking Seonho and only see him as a friend.

I still have 5 frames to go. I take a deep breath and snap a shot of the upper part of the building together with the clear sky. Long sigh comes out, I really don’t want to cry but it keeps falling.

“Are you okay?” asks a man from a bench away. It startles me and surprisingly stops me from crying.

“I know it’s not my business but I think you need this” says the man who is standing a step away. I look at him while wiping the tear stain.

“I’m fine”

“I just purchase it from the vending machine if you don’t believe me. I don’t have any bad intention. I just feel bad to see you sad and this sweet drink should make you a little bit better”

He is very good looking. No, extremely handsome. He surely has his way with words but I still keep my guard up. These days, many criminals disguise as kind looking or educated person.

“You can take a picture of me as proof later on, if I really do something bad to you”

He, once again, push the cold drink to me and back to his bench again. He opens his bottle and drink it like a commercial. I can’t help a small smile when see him do that. He is surely a weird guy.

“I’m ready to pose if you really want to take a picture though”

“Okay, just in case”

I bring my film camera to my eyes and capture a very clear shape of his face.

“One more with your phone. You can send it to your friend ‘just in case’ I steal your phone later” he says while striking another pose. I shake my head. I do not expect laughing at the very moment.

I fulfill his request to take his picture with my phone camera and show him the result. I really hope he is not a bad guy because it will be a shame for his beautiful face and such a wit.

“Thank you” I say to him before drinking. My heart feels a little bit lighter than earlier.

“Will you post you pictures online? Hmm maybe on instagram?”

“I don’t know”

“I give a permission to post my pictures on your page then, no need to thank me”

I laugh for the second time. This time he laughs with me. Why someone bother to stop, spend his time for a poor looking stranger and make her laugh? I mean, we are strangers, we don’t know each other, less care for each other.

He, now, moves to my bench and sit on the other edge.

“I’m Seokjin, you can call me Jin. You can to not tell me your name now, but do me a favor”

“What is it?”

“When I find you, I mean my picture on your SNS, you cannot decline my offer for coffee or dinner if you don’t drink coffee”

“Okay”

“Be prepare for our second date” he says before leaving me all smiley on the park.

When he’s far enough from my sight, I just realize. He’s the man I saw this afternoon. The living sculpture that makes my pictures look better. I shake my head in disbelief. I’m expecting our next meeting to come.

10/10

This is the last picture of my happiness project. A pleasant encounter. Thank you.

 seonho__kim Oh? Who’s this? You hide your new boyfriend from me?

kyungie_SK YOU MEET HANDSOME MAN IN SECRET!? WHATTA BESTFRIEND!!

DDDani is he… Jin sunbae? You two ...?

KSJin92 I cant tell which one is better, the photographer or the model, should we discuss it over a coffee? Or dinner? Your call.

 The minute after I post Seokjin picture, everyone’s being wild. My bestfriends are being so loud on our private group chat. Sending all text in capital letters, sending all threating meme stocks they have on their phone. They demand me to explain in details how, when, why regarding Seokjin. I have to ignore those texts as I have to back to work. I know once I start replying them, they will never let me to stop until they satisfied. I receive DM notification from the source of this phenomenon right before I out it back to my pocket.

Jin: I know I offer coffee or dinner, but I wait for a long time just for coffee.. I know this Japanese restaurant that has superb menu and deserves all those Michelin star, so… will you be free on tomorrow?

Me: That sounds very promising and I have no reason to refuse, don’t I?

Jin: Great. 010 XXX XXXX This is my number, text me your office address and I’ll pick you up. See you soon ;)

 Right after works, Seokyung and Dani ask me to meet them in chicken restaurant near our highschool. It’s our favorite restaurant to go whenever we want to fulfill our stomach while gossiping.

“I don’t believe how small this world is. How can you and Jin sunbae meet? He is ‘the sunbae’ I told you guys before” Dani seems excited and amazed at the same time. Dani works at the finance consulting company for 2 years now and Seokjin is his senior in different department.

“The famous sunbae?” ask Seokyung. Dani nods quickly. Me and Seokyung remember how Dani describe this man to us the first week she got the job. The idol of her company, who has many admirers from intern to senior staffs.

“I met him at the park last time, we talked a little and he asked me to take his picture”

“But how? And why?”

That’s exactly my questions too. Compared to him, I’m just an average looking woman, and a stranger. He must have work with many beautiful women in daily. I shrug my shoulder to answer them.

“It just happened”

“Is he a weirdo? I know he is handsome, but it doesn’t mean he is a good guy” Seokyung states her opinion with doubtful face.

“He. Is. The. Perfect. Guy” Dani says.

“He is very kind to others, well-mannered and smart. He is professional at work, no matter how friendly he is, he will be strict to those who make mistakes. During our company’s dinner, he can make everyone’s laugh with his dad jokes. I don’t think you can fake that one, no?”

“So… it will be fine if I meet him again, right?” ask me to both of my bestfriends.

“Totally fine”

“I think so”

They answer at the same time. They look at each other and laugh.

“That’s the fastest answer I ever heard from you too”

“I wish you to have boyfriend for what.. 2 years? It’s the perfect time to start again, you know” said Dani with a smile.

I’ve tried to have romantic relationship with other men before this but it never stays long. I was happy with them, everything goes smoothly. However, at some points, we both know that I cannot love them like they love me.

“Do you think it will work out this time, with Seokjin?”

“We won’t know for sure, but we wish you to be happy”

I also wish myself to be happy, happier.

Spending time with Jin is always entertaining. He knows his choice of words will lighten up the mood between us whenever we’re going out. He never seems out of topic or makes me losing interest. When I talk, he will attentively listen. Most of times he introduces me to all of his favorite restaurants in the city. Sometimes, he will accompany me taking pictures for my new projects. We just feel very comfortable to have each other around.

“Have you tried the new ice cream parlor near your home?”

“I haven’t tried it yet but I heard it’s good. They also have opening promos this week, if I’m not mistaken”

“Then should we go there before I drop you?”

“Hmm… are you making me join your morning jogging tomorrow?”

“You can read my mind so well. I need to make an excuse so I can meet you tomorrow morning”

I hold my smile and turn my face to the window.

“Who’s taking a woman eating ice cream nearly 9 pm”

Seokjin laughs a loud. He puts the ice cream parlor’s address to his car’s GPS despite of my comment because he knows I won’t survive the temptation.

“I will let you eat the mint-choco flavor this time. How about that?”

I pretend to think for a while. We both know Jin will get what he wants, but I just want to make it looks like not too easy. I don’t want to look I like him more than I should. Considering he let me to buy mint-choco flavor after countless dates for ice cream, he must really want us to go there. He always stops me when I want to pick that particular flavor and suggest me all of other flavors before.

“Bonus. How about dinner at my place next week? I’ll show you how good I am in kitchen”

I know he doesn’t have hidden meaning in his words but I can’t help to blush. He shouldn’t know how many times I imagining to hug him. He has wide shoulder and tiny waist, deep soothing smell and a good amounts sweet talks. We always an inch away to kiss. It makes me somewhat impatient and wondering how it feels like.

“O..okay”

“Cute”

 We don’t label our relationship but we are no longer stopping ourselves to touch each other with affection months ago. This time feels different from the other relationships I have before. I trust Jin from the beginning and I think I fall in love with him sooner than I expected. He, himself, is very different from men I met before but I never thought we will match very well. To be honest, I thought he’ll only play around with me. But he always proves me wrong with his actions.

Dinner at his place become a routine. He doesn’t cook every time I come over, but never let me disappointed by his chosen take-out menu. Sometimes he just wants us to watch movies with snacks. The first three dinners, he will drive me home even it’s late. But after that, he will pretend too sleepy and persuade me to sleep over. It’s not I don’t like it, but he just tortures me more than before. These days, he will just hug me once I step inside his place and won’t even let me go for more than 5 minutes. It feels like we put ourselves in internal battle, to see who stands longer in this sexual tension.

 “You’re not going home tonight” he said.

“I know” I answer without looking at him.

I give up to try right after the first night I fail to force him getting up while pretend to be sleepy. I remember how cheerful he sounds when I agree to sleep over. He even let me wear his favorite green pajamas.

He pulls me closer to him till my back fully leans to his chest.

“Should I tell you my plan tonight or you already know too?”

“Hmm? What plan?”

“I call it ‘Making You Mine’ plan?”

“Making me yours?” I ask. I turn my face to see him and find him already looking at me.

We just stare to each other’s eyes for some good seconds until his eyes start to travel down. He stops at my lips and wetting his own lips. I can’t help to notice how his tongue move slowly.

“Yes. I’ll make you mine tonight” he whispers while looking back at my eyes.

My mind blanks. I can’t think other things than his lips, his body, just himself in front of me. His face comes closer and I close my eyes when I feel his soft thick lips on mine. I hold onto his arm that circles my waist.

“I forget to tell you. You’re not going to sleep either”

The perks of having best photographer in the world as your girlfriend ;)

By @.Y/N

 Y/N OMG. WHY DO YOU POST THIS?!

KSJin92 @.Y/N you’re the only one who can capture my beauty, honey, I have to show it to the world

Y/N @.KSJin92 tell me why I agree being your gf again

KSJin92 @.Y/N oh you know why… should I list all of them here? ;)

DDDani @.kyungie_SK this is why she was busy for the weekend ;)

kyungie_SK @.DDDani totally understand lol

Y/N @.DDDani @.kyungie_SK shut up you two!!!

[volzaannir]

The 30 LDB questionnaire

So there was that 30 LDB questions ask meme floating around, and I decided to answer them all for the sake of character building and reference for myself skjfhksdjhf

Questionnaire below!

1. What is their background and backstory?

Signe was born in a small home in the Rift on the 9th of Evening Star, 4E 173, to Ragnar and Freyja, two Nords who abandoned their lives to be with each other and start a family. Ragnar (aka ‘Ragnar the Berserkir’) was an infamous mercenary in Skyrim, who would be hired through out the land and even some places beyond for his battle prowness and seemingly inability to fucking die. Freyja was an assassin for the Dark Brotherhood, an archer/mage type who was going to be chosen as the next Listener until she dropped all connections after meeting Ragnar.

She was raised a warrior and avid hunter by her father, and a novice mage and singer by her mother. Unfortunately, at the age of 6, a fire engulfed her home one night after sneaking out to climb trees. It killed both her parents and left a nasty scar on her face after some debris sliced it while trying to free the two. Signe was taken to Honorhall, where she was bullied most of the time by other kids and of course Grelod, some accusing her of starting the fire - even though she swears it was a dragon that had started it. They say grief can make a child believe many things.

At age 17, with only a few more months to go before getting kicked out of the orphanage, she encounters Brynjolf. He’s a few years older than her, and is on his own mission to prove that he’s a valuable asset to the Guild at such an age. She assists him in his little heist, and runs away to join the Guild.

At age 28, after a small mistake during a heist near the border to Cyrodiil, she attempts to cross the border to escape being caught. Of course this doesn’t work, and thus brings us to the events of the game!

2. What “class” do they follow (i.e. warrior, archer, mage, thief, etc.)?

She’s a warrior, archer, and thief! 

3. How do they feel about being Dragonborn- does the identity feel right for them and did they embrace it immediately? Do they consider themselves a true dragon?

At first, Signe took to it slowly, still rattled from the suddenness of it all. First Helgen, then needing to tell the Jarl, then fighting a dragon and absorbing its soul, then being yelled at by four old men at the top of a mountain, and being thrown into quests here and there for so many reasons. She takes to it easily and enjoys the bouts of praise here and there during the events of Dawnguard, but it’s not until after defeating Alduin that she realized how much of a toll it takes on her mentally. While the authority is nice, she’s still too humble to go about bragging about it to those who don’t know her off the bat. She wished she could have earned her reputation like her father, rather than becoming a legend overnight. 

4. At present, how are they perceived by the people of Skyrim? By the general population, and by different factions?

By the general public, she’s of course seen as a hero, but a hero that causes a little too much damage for what’s needed. Not to mention she’s chaotic, loud, disrespectful, sleeps around, and takes no shit. But they know she’s necessary.

She’s a constant contract by the Dark Brotherhood and Morag Tong, competition to fractions like the Comonna Tong and Summerset Shadows, and always pressured into joining the Companions. (She would, but they don’t offer a big enough thrill for her- not to mention the whole werewolf thing)  

5. How were they perceived before their Dragonborn identity became widely known?

She was a Thieves Guild member and Nightingale, so within the ranks she was looked up to and respected. Outside of the ratways, though, she was just any other Nord citizen; only few knew of her amorous adventures though, as she makes sure it’s kept under wraps.

6. How are they perceived by the major villains- Alduin, Harkon, Miraak, etc.?

Alduin: He sees her as he sees the LDB in game; an obstacle and threat he needs to eradicate.

Harkon: An asset that immediately turns into a threat when she refuses to help them.

Miraak: Similar to Alduin, but grows more and more frustrated with how skilled she is in her young, young age. 

7. How much do they utilize the power of Thu'um? Do they actively try to expand their inborn abilities through research and exploration? Or are they less invested?

Signe uses Aura Whisper like how we need to breathe to live. She uses it to see where she should either avoid or take caution of, as well as alert her followers where enemies may be! It helps for when she’s looting too, as she need to plan how to knock them out first. Signe doesn’t like to kill innocent folk. As for others, she uses Unrelenting Force mainly when she’s annoyed by something in her way, Dragon Aspect when the enemy is insanely powerful, and Storm Call when she needs a distraction! The Thu’um is useful, but she’s not heavily invested in it, until way later on in her journey after the events of Dragonborn.

8. If they were to invent a shout, what shout would they create? Bonus if you can come up with the words of the shout in dragon language.

It works similar or such to Dragon Aspect, but could like, literally turn you into a dragon for a short time. I thought since the DB has the blood and soul of a dragon, then with some effort surely they can call forth their soul to turn their flesh to match, right?

It would be a Shout containing some from of these words: Ofan (Bestow), Dov (Dragon), Slen (Flesh), Sil (Soul), Rii (Essence), Gron (Bind); I haven’t found an order that really ‘rings’ yet. 

Otherwise, it would be the name given to their dragon soul, like how you call to Odahviing. In Signe’s case, it would be ‘Volzaannir’: Vol (Horror), Zaan (Shout [as in yell, shriek, etc.]), and Nir (Hunt). All three words are reference to a barn owl, which is her pet/familiar, since they’re known for their horrific shrieking and astounding hunting skills.

9. Whether they are magical or not- if they were to invent a spell for their own uses, that does not already exist in Skyrim, what kind of spell would they come up with?

Conjure dragon familiar! A spectral dragon will appear to fight for you for 90 - 300 seconds.

10. Which factions are they aligned with? Including civil war sides, Thalmor, guilds etc.

Thieves Guild, Dawnguard (not active), and TECHNICALLY the Imperials even though she considers herself a neutral force who just wants this shit to end.

11. If they had a pet or magical familiar as in ESO (excluding the dogs in Skyrim) what creature would it be?

She actually already has one! It’s a barn owl named Hyl (Danish for ‘shriek’).

12. Which standing stone have they used for the longest and why?

Thief stone, since it levels up sneak and such easily. 

13. Dungeon delving- are they a fan? Do they do it for fun, or money, or just because of circumstance? Do they prefer Dwemer or Nordic ruins?

Signe did it in the past for the loot, and still kinda does, though after becoming Dragonborn it’s kinda become her daily tasks lmao. She’s more familiar with Nordic ruins, but Dwemer ruins are unique and fun to explore.

14. What is their personal favorite place in Skyrim- a town, hold, home, dungeon, or just a natural spot they happen to have a fondness for?

One is an area just above the Twilight Sepulcher, where you go to defeat the Guardian Bear in Kyne’s Sacred Trials; there’s a fairy ring and a shrine to Akatosh here, as well as a beautiful view!

Another one is where I also envision her old home being, before it was burnt down, as there are remains of a possible building there. It’s a little Northeast of Ivarstead, on top of a hill where you would meet a Whispmother.

15. What is their personal LEAST favorite place in Skyrim- somewhere that annoys them, or comes with bad memories, or otherwise?

Windhelm. It’s a beautiful city, of course, but the PEOPLE…. They’re just so awful and rude (Not including the Grey Quarter). Every time she’s there she always finds herself getting into a fistfight with some racist Nord asshole.

16. Where did they choose to live and what drew them there? Does it really feel like home?

She chooses to settle in Lakeview Manor, as it’s close to Riverwood - one of the only places Teldryn finds habitable, and she can agree. Although, she always finds herself missing the beautiful golden and red birch of the Rift. If she could have one of the homes from ESO in the Rift, she’d absolutely choose one of those. 

17. What’s their style- do they tend to wear armor and if so, what sort? Otherwise what’s their average day-to-day clothing?

Signe’s armor is an alteration of Nordic carved steel mixed with dragon scales/bones, and has a variety of rune engravings and patterns befitting a walking prophecy. Before being Dragonborn, she normally wore the usual Thieves Guild attire, or her Nightingale uniform. Her day to day wear is typically a comfy fitting tunic and pants with well worn boots, and her sleepwear is similar to a miner shirt, but longer and only the shirt.

18. Your Dragonborn is now an actual dragon- what do they look like? Do they possess any unique features or abilities?

OHHH YES I WAS HOPING FOR THIS KIND OF QUESTION.

Signe actually has a dragon form! But she doesn’t harness it till way later in the game, after all the main quests. Her Dragon Aspect form reflects some of it, however.

Her dragon form is called Volzaannir [see question 8 for details], and she’s what I would call a Crested Dragon; a dragon that is partially feathers, the end of their muzzle is beaked, and is a tad thinner to allow more fluid aerodynamics. She utilizes shouts that call upon more natural forces, or invoke fear/frenzy, or conjure a variety of types of thralls. (Storm Call is a common one, Animal Allegiance, Cyclone, Dismay, Drain Vitality, Marked for Death, Soul Tear, and sometimes Frost Breath if fighting head-on).

19. Which NPC have they killed and regretted it?

Signe doesn’t like to kill, at all. It stems far before she even joined the Thieve’s Guild, and was thankful that they valued that rule as well. But, just because she doesn’t like to, doesn’t mean she won’t; she has to survive after all, and that means killing when justified. 

She hasn’t regretted any of her intentional kills; however, she does mourn the loss of lives when they have become collateral damage. After a dragon attack, or rescuing travelers being attacked by bears, anything like that, there’s always lives she could not save in the pursuit of rescue. She often times feels survivors guilt - terribly so after Helgen, especially.

20. Which NPC have they killed and absolutely NOT regretted it (excluding the major villains)?

Ulfric and Mercer Frey.

Mercer was the first person she ever intentionally killed, driven near mad at the hurt from his betrayal. She squeezed his throat and held him under the water of Irkngthand, effectively drowning him slowly, eyes locked on his water-distorted face. The pure bloodlust she felt frightened her afterward, leaving her shaken and vowing to keep whatever that was under check.

She did not personally kill Ulfric, but she was the one who decided his fate in the end. When the Civil War is won, she summons Ulfric to death by Blood Eagle, and remains face-to-face with him until he dies - making sure her disappointment is the last thing he ever sees.

21. Do they worship any of the Divines, and if so, which do they have the strongest affinity for?

Kyne and Akatosh! (Or any name they go by in each culture). She mainly worships Kyne, feeling the strongest connection to her through culture, history, and soul.

22. Which Daedric Prince(s) do they end up most aligned to, if any? Which artifacts do they own and which do they actively make use of?

She aligns to Nocturnal majorly, thanks to being a Nightingale, and finds her to be surprisingly well-tempered and benevolent sometimes. Signe also finds herself more familiar with Azura, thanks to traveling with Teldryn most of the time - but she holds no judgement, and encourages worship if it brings others comfort or clearance.

While Nocturnal’s artifact, the Skeleton Key, is in its rightful place, she still holds the powers of Nocturnal’s Agents; typically switching between the Agent of Shadow and Subterfuge. 

23. Which non-Daedric artifacts/magical items do they make regular use of?

A Stahlrim bow, dragonbone arrows, dragonbone swords (dual wield, one has electrical damage and the other traps souls), and two Stahlrim daggers affectionately named Frostbite (frost damage) and Freezer Burn (fire damage).

24. How did they respond to Miraak and what do they feel about him? Do they regret killing him? Did they spare him?

She saw Miraak as a threat at first, obviously, but there is of course that melancholy feeling of wishing he wasn’t so power-obsessed… He is the only other Dragonborn she (or anyone, in the 4th Era) has ever met, and he could have helped her in her quests, in defeating Alduin, in teaching her how to live with these powers and their consequences - being a mentor. Signe had planned on sparing him, attempting to convince him to escape Apocrypha with her, to live a new life on Nirn… But in battle, when his mask falls off, she finally gets a solid glimpse at his soul through his eyes, and realizes his mind is too far gone to save. Too tortured, too desperate, too power-hungry. Death is the kindest thing she could give him, while still keeping Nirn safe.

25. Which of the Dragon Priest masks do they favor and wear the most? If the answer is Konahrik, pick the second favorite too.

Signe doesn’t wear the masks, as she feels there’s too much evil floating around in them, no matter how fuckin’ cool they look. She’s not against the Dragon Priests themselves, just that the history and power held within the specific masks makes her anxious and uncomfortable. If she were to create her own (and she does), then she would wear it.

26. Which follower(s) would they never go anywhere without? On a personal level, what is their relationship with the follower(s) in question like and why do they stick with them?

TELDRYN. SERO. He’s her partner in crime, the only one brave enough to be her damage control, and who's always been at her side at the worst of times… and still willingly chooses to be. Signe met him when she was delivering a letter to Glover from Delvin (well before the main quest, but after Dawnguard), and decided to rest a bit in the Retching Netch overnight before heading back to Skyrim. His stupid charm and humor was enough to convince her to let him tag along, and she’ll never regret it.

Not only does she find out later on that he used to be good - if not best - friends with her father, the two of them being infamous mercenaries for hire in their respective countries. They slowly fall in love, cliche I know, but trust me - after the shit they’ve been through and bond over, how could they not?

27. If your Dragonborn were an in-game boss fight, what would their lair be like? What enemies would help them in the fight (if any) and what quest might lead to another hero having to fight them?

Ohhhohohoo boy, this one’s a fun one. 

First off, her lair would be similar to ruins like Skuldafn, or the Blades headquarters, somewhere difficult to get to and holding this ancient aesthetic to it. Either that, or her very own plane of Oblivion, a pocket containing a strange mix of both Apocrypha, the Evergloom, and the Quagmire. A place of knowledge and wisdom and history that still holds unimaginable terror and secrets and madness. 

What could lead to battling her perhaps is due to how she devotes her life after the events of Skyrim; seeking to bring forth her dragon blood and soul forth to not only give her a dragon form, but extend her life as well, as she has an underlying fear of death. If she cannot go to Sovngarde and be with her parents due to her soul being promised to Daedric Princes, then the afterlife is not something she looks forward to. However, she did not anticipate the toll an extended life would take on her human mind. Perhaps Teldryn and Ondolemar passed away somehow and she can’t bring herself to take another lover, she can’t make friends because she knows she’ll see them die too, and dragon companions to not hold the same kind of compassion or humor or affection her fellow mortals could. 

She becomes reckless, often times falling into episodes of paranoia and madness, and people have noticed. Some worship her like the Dragon Priests in ancient times, but the others fear what she may be capable of. Signe may have holed herself away in that lair of hers, but the public still fears her power, and knows she was not meant to live as long as she has. Soldiers and mages and wizards and heroes alike are sent to grant her death, but are never successful, as her insanity and fear has brought her to sending dragons of all kinds after anyone who dares try and approach her with malice-intent. If your aura holds no hostility, however, you could be lucky and hold a conversation with a possible demi-god such as her; beware, as her dragons watch over your every move from the stone arcs and towers above.

She is the Last Dragonborn, and you WILL show her respect, even if it means getting on your knees and praying to her as if she were a god. And perhaps she is.

28. What are their greatest assets, both in terms of in-game skills and otherwise? What gave them the upper hand that allowed them to defeat Alduin?

Archery, dual-wielding, sneak, lock-picking, pick-pocketing, charisma/speech, and smithing have been the most helpful throughout her life thus far. As for defeating Alduin and Miraak and Harkon, though, it would have to be her resilience and determination to protect the life amongst Nirn. Without such personal strength and wit, she would have given up for sure.

29. What do they do post-Skyrim, once all the main quests are finished? What happens to them in the aftermath?

It’s tough for Signe to come to terms with the thought that technically, everything is over. The journey’s have made her an adrenaline junky, they’ve brought new nightmares, and there are fractions up the wazoo who still want her dead despite doing nothing to harm them. The Black Books and Herma Mora haunting her have caused her to act relatively ‘insane’ at some points; she’s gained too much of a reputation as a hero to really return to her Nightingale days; and being a mercenary isn't up her alley. 

Her overall dream in life was to just settle in a cottage somewhere in the Rift and carve wood and bones for a living, take up smithing and open an armor and weapons shop called “Helm of Awe”. But of course after having her life altered so intensely in such a short time, it’s taken its toll on her, and left her too restless to fully settle down. 

So, she takes her band of Merry Mer (Teldryn and Ondolemar lmao) and they travel all over, looting burrows and taking high-risk jobs. 

She also takes up researching and meditating on Words of Power, aiming to create a Shout that allows her to harness the entirety of her dragon soul - all the way to flesh. Signe also looks into ways to bring her dragon blood and soul more forward, less buried in her spirit, to lengthen her life more; purely for the sake of her Mer lovers, though there’s an underlying fear there too. [See question 27]

30. Are they proud of themselves? Do they see themselves as a hero?

She is proud, deep down, because she knows in the end it’s for the betterment and safety of the world. A hero? Absolutely. Signe may be humble in the present about her position, but not even the kindest person on Nirn could pass up the chance to brag about saving the world thrice over.

VERY IMPORTANT BONUS QUESTION: In their opinion, who is the best dog in all Skyrim?

MEEKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rapeculturerealities]

Jalaiah Harmon is coming up in a dance world completely reshaped by the internet.

She trains in all the traditional ways, taking classes in hip-hop, ballet, lyrical, jazz, tumbling and tap after school at a dance studio near her home in the Atlanta suburbs. She is also building a career online, studying viral dances, collaborating with peers and posting original choreography.

Recently, a sequence of hers turned into one of the most viral dances online: the Renegade.

There’s basically nothing bigger right now. Teenagers are doing the dance in the halls of high schools, at pep rallies and across the internet. Lizzo, Kourtney Kardashian, David Dobrik and members of the K-pop band Stray Kids have all performed it. Charli D’Amelio, TikTok’s biggest homegrown star, with nearly 26 million followers on the platform, has been affectionately deemed the dance’s “C.E.O.” for popularizing it.

But the one person who hasn’t been able to capitalize on the attention is Jalaiah, the Renegade’s 14-year-old creator.

“I was happy when I saw my dance all over,” she said. “But I wanted credit for it.”

TikTok, one of the biggest video apps in the world, has become synonymous with dance culture. Yet many of its most popular dances, including the Renegade, Holy Moly Donut Shop, the Mmmxneil and Cookie Shop have come from young black creators on myriad smaller apps.

Most of these dancers identify as Dubsmashers. This means, in essence, that they use the Dubsmash app and other short-form social video apps, like Funimate, ‎Likee and Triller, to document choreography to songs they love. They then post (or cross-post) the videos to Instagram, where they can reach a wider audience. If it’s popular there, it’s only a matter of time before the dance is co-opted by the TikTok masses.

“TikTok is like a mainstream Dubsmash,” said Kayla Nicole Jones, 18, a YouTube star and music artist. “They take from Dubsmash and they run off with the sauce.”

Polow da Don, a producer, songwriter and rapper who has worked with Usher and Missy Elliott, said: “Dubsmash catches things at the roots when they’re culturally relevant. TikTok is the suburban kids that take things on when it’s already the style and bring it to their community.”

Though Jalaiah is very much a suburban kid herself — she lives in a picturesque home on a quiet street outside of Atlanta — she is part of the young, cutting-edge dance community online that more mainstream influencers co-opt.

The Renegade dance followed this exact path. On Sept. 25, 2019, Jalaiah came home from school and asked a friend she had met through Instagram, Kaliyah Davis, 12, if she wanted to create a post together. Jalaiah listened to the beats in the song “Lottery” by the Atlanta rapper K-Camp and then choreographed a difficult sequence to its chorus, incorporating other viral moves like the wave and the whoa.

She filmed herself and posted it, first to Funimate (where she has more than 1,700 followers) and then to her more than 20,000 followers on Instagram (with a side-by-side shot of Kaliyah and her performing it together).

“I posted on Instagram and it got about 13,000 views, and people started doing it over and over again,” Jalaiah said. In October, a user named @global.jones brought it to TikTok, changing up some of the moves at the end, and the dance spread like wildfire. Before long, Charli D’Amelio had posted a video of herself doing it, as did many other TikTok influencers. None gave Jalaiah credit.

After long days in the ninth grade and between dance classes, Jalaiah tried to get the word out. She hopped in the comments of several videos, asking influencers to tag her. For the most part she was ridiculed or ignored.

She even set up her own TikTok account and created a video of herself in front of a green screen, Googling the question “who created the Renegade dance?” in an attempt to set the record straight. “I was upset,” she said. “It wasn’t fair.”

To be robbed of credit on TikTok is to be robbed of real opportunities. In 2020, virality means income: Creators of popular dances, like the Backpack Kid or Shiggy, often amass large online followings and become influencers themselves. That, in turn, opens the door to brand deals, media opportunities and, most important for Jalaiah, introductions to those in the professional dance and choreography community.

Obtaining credit isn’t easy, though. As the writer Rebecca Jennings noted in Vox in an article about the online dance world’s thorny ethics: “Dances are virtually impossible to legally claim as one’s own.”

But credit and attention are valuable even without legal ownership. “I think I could have gotten money for it, promos for it, I could have gotten famous off it, get noticed,” Jalaiah said. “I don’t think any of that stuff has happened for me because no one knows I made the dance.”

Cross-platform sharing — of dances, of memes, of information — is how things are made on the internet. Popular tweets go viral on Instagram, videos made on Instagram make their way onto YouTube. But in recent years, several large Instagram meme accounts have faced backlash for sharing jokes that went viral without crediting the creator.

TikTok was introduced in the United States only a year and a half ago. Norms, particularly around credit, are still being established. But for Dubsmashers and those in the Instagram dance community, it’s common courtesy to tag the handles of dance creators and musicians, and use hashtags to track the evolution of a dance.

It has set up a culture clash between the two influencer communities. “On TikTok they don’t give people credit,” said Raemoni Johnson, a 15-year-old Dubsmasher. “They just do the video and they don’t tag us.” (This acrimony is exacerbated by the fact that TikTok does not make it easy to find the creator of a dance.)

On Jan. 17, tensions boiled over after Barrie Segal, the head of content at Dubsmash, posted a series of videos asking Charli D’Amelio to give a dance credit to D1 Nayah, a popular Dubsmash dancer with more than one million followers on Instagram, for her Donut Shop dance. TikTok Room, a gossip account on Instagram, picked up the controversy, and spurred a sea of comments.

“Why is it so hard to give black creators their credit,” said one Instagram commenter, referring to the mostly white TikTokers who have taken dances from Dubsmashers and posted them without credit. “Instead of using dubsmash, use tiktok and then ppl would credit you maybe,” a TikToker fan said.

“I’m not an argumentative person on social media — I don’t want beef or anything like that,” said Jhacari Blunt, an 18-year-old Dubsmasher who has had some of his dances co-opted by TikTokers. “But it’s like, we all know where that dance came from.”

At this point, if a TikToker doesn’t initially know who did a dance, commenters will usually tag the original creator’s handle. Charli D’Amelio and other stars have started giving dance credits and tagging creators in their captions.

And the creators who are flooding into TikTok from Instagram and Dubsmash are leading the way by example. “We have 1.7 million followers and we always give credit whether the person has zero followers or not,” said Yoni Wicker, 14, one half of the TheWickerTwinz. “We know how important it is. That person who made that dance, they might be a fan of ours. Us tagging them makes their day.”

Onward and Upward

Stefanie Harmon, Jalaiah’s mother, learned the true extent of Jalaiah’s online success only recently. “She told me, ‘Mommy, I made a dance and it went viral,’” Ms. Harmon said.

“She wasn’t kicking and screaming about the fact that she wasn’t getting credit,” she added, “but I could tell it had affected her. I said, ‘Why do you care whether you’re not getting credit? Just make another one.’”

Jalaiah continues to post a steady stream of dance videos to Funimate, Dubsmash, and Instagram. She said she doesn’t harbor any hard feelings against Charli D’Amelio for popularizing the Renegade without naming her. Instead, she hopes she can collaborate with her one day.

Charli D’Amelio, through a publicist, said that she was “so glad to know” who created the dance. “I know it’s so associated with me,” she said, “but I’m so happy to give Jalaiah credit and I’d love to collaborate with her.”

“We’re all inspired by other people,” Jalaiah said. “We make up a dance and it grows.”

Off the internet, she continues to compete in dance competitions with her studio and hopes to one day take classes at Dance 411, a prestigious dance school in Atlanta. Ultimately, it’s the art form that she loves. “It makes me happy to dance,” she said.

[unibrowzz]

My 2020 reviews

All the cool kids were doing these so now I finally dragged my ass into doing them too lmao. 

Albania- Fall from the Sky

A song I swear cursed this whole contest from the moment it won Festivali i Këngës. Like with the shitshow this song caused I just knew the whole year was fucked. With half the fandom whining they didn’t get their first club song of the year to the other half smugly shoving it as their winner despite no other songs being around to compare it to, the whole fiasco just left me knowing that 2020 would end in tears, just hopefully not my own. As for the song, it’s lame. It’s a standard ballad with OBSCENE amounts of autotune, which is weird because the girl can actually sing pretty decently without it, so why they decided to make her sound like a damn computer is beyond me. And WHY did they translate it, haven't the past few years proven that Albania's better off leaving their songs in Albanian? 

Armenia- Chains on You

A bootleg Ariana Grande song, and a really shit one at that. The kind of song only people who think being young, gay and mean counts as having a personality would say is good.

Australia- Don’t Break Me

One of the few decent Australian entries (but that REALLY isn’t saying much coming from me, I barely care they’re in the contest by this point) but marred by a horribly untidy performance and lacklustre lyrics. At least it’s not fucking pop-opera, that’s all I can say. I’d rather listen to the sound of my face being dragged down the runway at Heathrow airport than be subjected to another Zero Gravity.

Austria- Alive

One of those pseudo-jazz dance songs, á la Olly Murs or Bruno Mars (I swear there’s a song like this in every recent contest). I mean, it’s good, but it’s just kinda meh since I’m kinda getting tired of this genre rearing its fedora-wearing head every time a new lineup rolls in.

Azerbaijan- Cleopatra

One of the “better” trashy entries this year, comprised of about five different musical genres, six ancient cultures being appropriated and absolutely zero class. Probably sounds at least 50% better when you’re absolutely steaming drunk and face down on the floor in the middle of a gay bar.

Belarus- Da Vidna

Somehow, this song sounds both very unique and original yet trite and average at the same time. I couldn’t decide whether listening to it was a new experience or if I’d heard it a million times before.

Belgium- Release Me

A song which just drones on till it ends. I would say it’s ripping off the song that won last year, but it forgot that having a chorus stops your song from being three minutes of snooze.

Bulgaria- Tears Getting Sober

A typical breathy mumble-girl song, AKA a genre I can’t fucking stand. Really don’t see the hype with this one, the melody is pretty but the vocals are out for lunch and it’s otherwise completely and utterly boring.

Croatia- Divlji Vjetre

One of the token big dramatic ballads you listen to once, enjoy, then forget about until Darius in the Discord server plays it one night whilst you’re hitting up the radio bot with requests. You’ll find that “nice, but forgettable” is a common theme for this year.

Cyprus- Running

Ironically Cyprus didn’t send a crappy Fuego knockoff for 2020, and I say ironically because a crappy Fuego knockoff would’ve actually stood out this year, and I say crappy because honestly Fuego wasn’t even all that great to begin with. "Running” itself is just one of those edgy tortured soul pop songs which, let’s be honest, would have been paired with an impressive performance which would’ve overshadowed how bland it is. Kind of like “You’re the Only One”. Or even Fuego for that matter.

Czech Republic- Kemama

Standard Afro-pop, a genre we don't often see at the contest so I'll let it pass. I feel like this is the kind of song that’s infinitely better live, and that it would’ve been one of those songs that suddenly became a frontrunner after the semi finals, but I guess we’ll never know eh?

Denmark- Yes 

The quintessential mid-10s Eurovision song. It's got guitars, happy people, Scandinavian origins… it’s just a typical radio guitar song, nothing special.

Estonia- What Love Is

I mean it's better than La Forza. Granted, the sound of someone pissing directly onto a microphone installed in the bowl of a toilet would sound better than La Forza but still. Going back to this song, it’s just... a standard Eastern-ballad with some very desperate lyrics. It feels kind of outdated, if I’m honest. Like something about this just reeks of 2011.

Finland- Looking Back

Yet another dreary, forgettable ballad. It comes to something when the best song they COULD have sent was a party song which sounded like it was from the mid 90s. At least that song was memorable. That said, this one at least has some decent lyrics. Bravo for that I guess.

France- Mon Alliée

France decides to say “fuck it” to being an underground fan-favourite and takes a leaf out of the UKs book by sending the same rent-a-Swede schlock they’ve been sending since 2015. I’m just confused as to why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the UKs example but you do you France.

Germany- Violent Thing

A rehash of Sweden's entry from two years ago, but this time sung by Justin Bieber circa 2008. Kind of alright if you can stomach the singer's whiny voice, but otherwise pretty dull and kinda forgettable.

Greece- Superg!rl

Hello fellow kidz, we are hearing you like the girl power? The super heroes? The t3xt $p3ech? We made you song, please give us the votes *dabs*

Georgia- Take me as I Am

I mean… this sure is a choice. This feels like one of those songs that everyone memes on because the lyrics are kinda janky and the singer’s voice (and accent) take a bit of getting used to, but other than that it’s just one of those NQ songs for hipster fans to declare as their unironic winner at a later date. All in all this just feels like the male equivalent of one of those mid-10s fat acceptance women’s songs, only a lot shoutier and this time he has more flaws than not being skinny.

Iceland- Think About Things 

A bootleg George Ezra song, performed by a load of disinterested tumblr users in their pyjamas. Because if there’s one thing that sells me on a song, it’s being given the evils by a bunch of nerds who look like they’ll send me death threats for not agreeing with their Pokémon headcanons. To be fair, the song is kind of groovy since it sounds so 70s, but the performance is very off-putting to people who aren’t in the Eurovision loop. And also people who are, because I sure as Hell don’t see the appeal in this myself and this whole performance just feels like Save Your Kisses for Me without the charm. I feel like this would’ve come second or third, definitely with a lot of televotes but either the jury would’ve dragged it down or it wouldn’t have scored enough televotes to win.

Ireland- Story of my Life

A song that’s at LEAST ten years out of date by this point, think like an early Katy Perry, Jessie J or Avril Lavigne song. I’ll forgive it because even though it sounds like it should’ve been entered in 2013 (at the latest), it at least evokes some nostalgic memories of shitty school discos and holiday parks.

Israel- Feker Libi

The female equivalent of the Czech song. Unsurprisingly, people went wild for it when it was released. I guess only women are allowed to sing Afro-pop at this contest. Like with the Czech song, I’ll forgive it since Afro-pop is a cool genre anyway, and even though this is just another club song I can at least see myself dancing to it.

Italy- Fai Rumore

Well, at least my wish of “Italy sends a typical power ballad devoid of anything the mainstream fandom likes” finally came true. It was pretty refreshing to have a year where people weren’t shoving Italy’s entry up my nose left right and centre. In terms of my actual thoughts I can’t deny that the guy has a tremendous voice, but for some reason the song just doesn’t… click with me. I guess I like my male Italian singers a little more gruff and raspy, if you know what I mean. They gotta sound like they smoke at LEAST five packets of cigarettes a day for me to take notice.

Malta- All of my Love

Listen I am 100% rooting for Destiny Chukunyere to win this contest some day but man was this song a disappointment. It feels so… un-special and generic, like it gets the job done and that’s it. It’s not the stand-up-and-belt-it-out soul anthem I’d hoped for, it’s just… there.

Moldova- Prison

All I remember about this song is that it vaguely reminds me of that one Meccano song about the gypsy who makes a deal with the moon or something. And I’ve TRIED to remember more about what it sounds like, trust me.

Latvia- Still Breathing

The one horrible weird song you get every year which overuses strobe effects to the point it comes with an epilepsy warning. Would be bearable if it wasn't for the singer’s insistence that this is actually some feminist masterpiece when it's really just a self-empowerment club song about the singer fingerbanging herself over the fact she writes music.

Lithuania- On Fire

One of the songs everyone thought was going to win at one point, even though it seems like a surefire non-qualifier to me. It’s one of those weird entries, but not the kind of over the top, batshit insane, you’d-have-to-be-drunk-to-enjoy-it weird, the kind of subdued surreal weird. Like this is weed instead of LSD or cocaine weird. Granted my mom, who I consider to be a "typical" Eurofan, actually really liked this song when she saw it in the recaps, so who knows maybe this would have done well with televoters after all.

Netherlands- Grow

I appreciate this song for how artsy and clever it is with its structure, since it starts off acapella and the instrumental builds up with the song until it stops suddenly, symbolising a person’s growth from a child into an adult, and ending suddenly with their death (Geddit? The song’s called “Grow”). But it feels like the kind of song that would be lost on a Eurovision audience. The juries would have taken note, for sure, but the televote… let’s be honest, they’d have been too busy drunk voting for Russia to care about anything else.

North Macedonia- You

Well, it's better than the miserable dirge they sent last year, but given how I'd rather pleasure myself with a steak knife than listen to that song, that really isn't saying much. Going back to “You”, it really just feels like a diet version of Switzerland’s entry from last year, combined with Sweden’s song from 2018. What I’m saying is it’s your average “I’m a man in a club and I want to dance with and probably fuck this hot girl I just met” song, which I a new genre I just made up. You’re welcome.

Norway- Attention 

One of those songs you appreciate because it sounds nice and the singer has a good voice, but instantly forget because it’s really not all that interesting. If I sound like I'm repeating myself, welcome to Eurovision 2020.

Poland- Empires

“Rise Like a Phoenix” but sung by a wannabe Adele and not a mascara-wearing Jesus in a dress. Like a lot of other songs on this list, it’s just average across the board, likeable when it’s on, but instantly forgettable as soon as the next song comes on.

Portugal: Medo de Sentir

Pretty, but also similar to their ill-fated 2018 entry, only with a bit more energy and less pink hair. What I’m saying is this would have been another NQ unless the crowd who enjoy subtle ambience music come in to save it like they did with Slovenia's entry last year.

Romania- Alcohol You

See Bulgaria, because this is practically the same song. It’s just as dreary, just as badly sung (if not worse because holy shit this girl sounds like she’s being suffocated), and I suppose you COULD excuse that by saying she’s drunk or hungover… but I don’t want to listen to someone ungracefully mumble into a microphone for three minutes.

Russia- Uno

A classic big camp party song, the kind of song people who haven’t watched Eurovision since 2003 think wins on the regular. I can see why people would like it (especially in this boring year lmao, I applaud Russia for taking the opportunity to loosen their corset and just send a complete mess instead of their usual clinical vote grabs), but it’s just not something I enjoy. It's the song that plays into the misconception that Eurovision is just a clown show for drunk people, like this is just here to be that one flash-in-the-pan meme song that only entertains people who don’t really care about Eurovision until the day before it airs. Kind of like the old ladies they sent in 2012 (remember them?).

San Marino- Freaky!

San Marino, in true Sammarinese fashion, have yet again sent a decade-ambiguous song which sounds like it was either released in 1978 or 2003. I feel like this would have been one of those songs which could have surprised us if it had a really wacky, creative performance (think like Moldova in 2018), but this is San Marino so you know that would never happen.

Serbia- Hasta la Vista

Insert unoriginal joke about a decade wanting their shitty trend back right here. Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh, especially considering how this song is actually, yanno, unique in comparison to the rest of this year. But it still feels weirdly dated, in a way where I can’t decide whether it sounds like it belongs in 1998 or 2018. I suppose girl power ages a song regardless of when it was released.

Slovenia- Voda

Yet another standard Balkan-European power ballad which you appreciate because it’s well sung, but forget the moment it ends because it’s kinda boring. … Does anyone else have a bit of deja vu?

Spain- Universo

For some reason I feel like this song is shilling itself out to someone but I have no idea who. Aside from the horny people voting solely because the singer is moderately attractive even with that wretched Jedward haircut.

Sweden- Move

Imagine soul but… boring.

Switzerland- Répondez Moi

Imagine Arcade but… in French.

United Kingdom- My last Breath

Not the best the UK could have done, but it’s at least a modern offering unlike the residual dregs of the mid-90s that we sent throughout the 2010s. It’s definitely a bit too generic to have done any better than maybe 15th, but hey at least the cancellation means we won’t have to see it not do as well as the BBC thinks it’s entitled to do, prompting a billion clickbait articles about how Brexit somehow affected our performance.

Ukraine- Solovey

At long last we come to something you probably weren't expecting: a song I actually really like. Which is weird because I usually don't care for or don't like whatever Ukraine vomits into the contest, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a song I liked from them in such a weak year. This song isn’t for everyone, it’s white noise singing which is a very acquired taste, but this is honestly the only 2020 song I find myself coming back to over and over. And it’s in Ukrainian too, so you don’t have to put up with their usual mangled English offerings.

[cantillat-moved]

@more-than-a-princess​ Kid meme: Sonia and Emiya (Or rather, what Sonia would prefer not to think about)

Iғ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ

Nᴀᴍᴇ: Olympia Nevermind Gᴇɴᴅᴇʀ: Female Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ Aᴘᴘᴇᴀʀᴀɴᴄᴇ: Pale blond hair like wheat in the sunlit fields, usually tied in braids, caramel gaze complimenting her delicate features and thin lips. Often wearing discreet outfits on either her favorite colors – deep forest green and crimson, she favors practical outfits that are appropriate for the occasion but tends to hover a little on the frugal side of things and is rather self-conscious about the hardships her country faces, saving more elaborate getups for formal meetings. Olympia is also physically fit. Pᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ: A reserved and kind girl, with steadfast resolve to restore the Kingdom of Novoselic to its former glory – no, even better. A fair kingdom, where people can be happy and live without fear, learning from the mistakes of the past to build a better future. She is an idealist who admires her mother deeply, acknowledging the events during the Tragedy and believing it is her duty to be the best ruler as she can be. Soft-spoken most of the time, her eyes burn with determination and won’t relent until doing the right thing for her people. Her father often worries about her naiveté and idealism, doing his best to keep her grounded. Olympia is also inspiring and protective of those close to her. Sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ Tᴀʟᴇɴᴛs: Along with all the things expected from Novosonian nobility -- from learning thirty languages, politics, philosophy, administration and everything in between – she also loves training with her father. Soon as she was old enough the girl joined him during his morning practice before leaving for school and other studies in general, keeping the habit even when studying abroad. The one thing that her father didn’t encourage was, of course, magecraft. Yet, he did taught her some basics of strengthening spells so she could use during fights – this is one princess that can kick anyone’s ass. Olympia also learned how to cook by watching Shirou, and as a kid she’d make snacks to bring to her mother at the office.  Another of her favorite hobbies is riding on horseback, bounding with a mare that comes from a bloodline that served Sonia and her family for a very long time. Wʜᴏ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ: She is very close to both her parents, as a young girl she’d stay more often with her father and loved listening to the stories of his adventures – but growing very worried any time he’d leave to do his things, especially after one occasion Emiya came home very hurt. As Olympia grew older, she started joining her mother in official affairs and events, eventually finding a new passion in organizing charities and helping out, proving to be a very observant girl. Wʜᴏ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ: She has characteristics of both, but takes more after her mother over time. Pᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ Hᴇᴀᴅ ᴄᴀɴᴏɴ: Olympia wanted to learn about magecraft, but Shirou wouldn’t for a number of reasons: first, because magi education is usually very hard and demanding and she already had a lot on her plate as the heir apparent; second, Shirou himself isn’t a proper mage, only qualifies as a ‘spellcaster’; and third, he can’t and isn’t allowed to pass down the true nature of his magecraft, that is a huge taboo among the Mages Association. With some insistence, Shirou allowed her to have some basic magecraft classes so she knows how to use heal spells along with some useful things, such as creating boundaries fields to warn of incoming danger, but nothing too complicated. Sometimes, when the Tohsaka heir shows around, the two childhood friends like to spar. Olympia, with her mixed style based on her father’s techniques; whilst the boy uses a variation of Chinese martial arts. It devolves into a chaotic and a visual spectacle as it sounds. At some point, someone suggested to name the girl after Arthurian legends and Shirou veto’ed immediately. When the girl was born, the Einzbern sent a gift to the royal family and good wishes, which surprised her father. And yes, Uncle Hajime spoils the girl whenever he comes to visit, that’s non-negotiable.

[bangtann-bangdamn]

Dating... Kim Taehyung

Warnings: Little bit of angst, a little bit of smut. 

Master list

Kim Seokjin ♥ Min Yoongi ♥ Jung Hoseok ♥ Kim Namjoon ♥ Park Jimin ♥ Kim Taehyung ♥ Jeon Jungkook ♥ 

~♥~

Meet cute

You were scrolling through Tinder when you came across his profile

He was far too good looking

With his glasses and beret

You knew immediately he was the kind of guy who left a trail of broken hearts in his wake

But you swiped right anyway

Because there was no way he’d swipe right on you

Right?

Wrong

You matched with him immediately 

You threw your phone across the room

(Like that was going to stop him from getting the notification)

You stayed still as you tried to calm your racing heart

Had just about convinced yourself that he’d be just another one of the long list of guys you matched with that you never spoke to

When your notification goes off

You can’t get to your phone quick enough

You expect some fuck boy response

Maybe even a dick pic

Instead, he sends you a picture of a sunset

‘Some times I like to just take a moment to admire the beauty in the world’

It’s random

But also, kind of, incredibly cute?

You’re in the middle of crafting a response when

‘I guess that’s why I can’t stop looking at you’

You’re floored

The boy has G A M E

You’re stuck for what to say

So you end up sending a meme

Specifically the one of a cat in a box that says ‘Oh hai, you’re cute’

You immediately cringe

Expecting him to unmatch with you

Instead, he sends you a meme back

Which quickly escalates into a full-on meme off

Until you run out of memes and admit defeat

Then he starts asking you questions about yourself

And you forget to be nervous

You talk for a few days pretty consistently

He then confesses that his phone doesn’t alert him to notifications and he keeps worrying that he’s going to miss your message

So you give him your number

You talk daily for weeks

He doesn’t ask about meeting you in real life

You don’t think anything of it until you tell a friend who thinks it’s weird

So you ask if he wants to meet for a coffee sometime

‘But I like talking to you like this’

You feel your heart sink

‘It’s like you’re trying to avoid meeting me in real life. Just tell me you’re a catfish so I can move on’

He facetime’s you immediately

He’s even more beautiful with his bed head and easy smile

You end up talking to him for a couple hours

Then calling each other becomes a part of your nightly routine

Eventually, you gather the courage to ask

‘Why don’t you want to meet in person?’

He’s uncomfortable

You don’t think he’s going to answer you

Then

‘I don’t really... date’

Oh

He apologises for leading you on

He just likes getting to know new people

But it’s okay

Because you enjoy talking to him

But you tell him that you’re going to start seeing other guys

Taehyung nods, not really bothered

He doesn’t own you

Until you tell him about your date a few weeks later

Your successful date

He finds himself getting annoyed at you

He doesn’t tell you, obviously

It’s only when you hang up for the night that he reflects

Because maybe he did want to go on a date with you

And hold your hand

And stare into your beautiful eyes

He calls you back 5 minutes later and asks you to go on a date with him

You’re lost for words as you try to ask what changed his mind

And he replies

‘I don’t want to lose my sunshine’

So you agree to meet for coffee a few days later

Your first date

What starts off as an early morning coffee date turns into an all-day adventure

You quickly fall into a comfortable rhythm with Taehyung

Maybe it’s because of how long you’ve been talking

But you want to believe that its because you’re in sync with each other

In your head, you already know that you’re in love with him

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest every time he smiles at you

Or when he does his little dance when he’s excited

Or when his hand grazes yours

You know you’re in too deep

That he doesn’t date

Yet you can’t help but hope he’ll kiss you when he walks you home

But he doesn’t

You try to tell yourself that it’s okay

That you and Taehyung are friends

But then he doesn’t call you for a few days

Or respond to your texts

You wonder what you did wrong...

You replay your date constantly, trying to figure out what weird thing you did

But you realise how big of an idiot you are when you stop by the same coffee shop and see him

Sitting at the same coffee table you had the week before

With a new date

He catches your eye and has the decency to at least look sheepish

But he doesn’t walk over to you to explain

You leave without buying your coffee and delete his number

You knew it was too good to be true

Your first argument

You’re already drunk when you see him at your friend Jimin’s party

You’d never been to one of his parties before, but this time you had felt like you needed some fun

So, of course, you weren’t aware that he was also friends with Taehyung

You do your best to avoid him

Especially when you realise that he’s trying to talk to you

But when you step out onto the balcony to get some fresh air

Taehyungs already there

He doesn’t say anything when he faces you

Just smiles before turning to lean against the rail

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but suddenly you’re angry

‘If you weren’t interested in me, why did you insist we go on a date?’

Taehyung tenses, closing his eyes because he knows

Knows that he has to tell you the truth

‘I like first dates’

He explains that he enjoys the thrill of meeting someone new for the first time, but that feeling often disappears after the second date

So he doesn’t go on second dates

He won’t meet your eyes as he talks

Which frustrates you more than his words

You thought you were at least friends

‘Then why did you lead me on?’

Your voice cracks

You’re already crying

God damn it

Why do you have to be so emotional when you drink?

But all the pain you’ve been suppressing since that day in the coffee shop resurfaces

What you don’t see is the tears Taehyung sheds

Because he doesn’t know how to tell you

Tell you that he didn’t mean to lead you on

That he planned to take you on a second date

And a third

All the dates really

Because he had never been happier than he was whenever you smiled at him

But he was scared

Scared of it all going wrong

Of you breaking his heart

Because he’d only just put it back together again

Instead, he tells you that he didn’t enjoy the date

You know that’s a lie

But it doesn’t stop you from feeling like he stabbed you

You’re about to call him an ass and leave

Then you notice the way his shoulders shudder

The hand pressed to his face

And you realise that he’s crying

‘Tell me the truth, Taehyung,’ you say softly

You place a hand on his shoulder

That’s when the damn breaks

He lets the sound of his sobs fill the silence between you

He explains everything that went down

Everything that he’s bottled up

Jimin told him that Tinder was great for building confidence

For meeting women who expected nothing more than a one night stand

And you were the first woman he spoke to

And you floored him with a fucking meme

He got scared of meeting you

Of seeing your smile in person

Because he was already pretty certain that he liked you

Like, a lot

You’re quiet as you listen to him

His cries slowly disappear until it’s just silence between you

He watches you, waiting for your rejection

Instead, you cup his face

And you call him stupid

He goes to step away from you, thinking that he really had blown his chance

When...

Your first kiss

You kiss him

Maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through your veins

Because you don’t overthink it

You press your lips to his for a moment

Then move away when you realise what you’ve done

Taehyung’s shocked

You start stuttering your apology

But Taehyung shuts you up with another kiss

Which quickly becomes a heated make-out session

Your hands exploring each other’s bodies

You’re pretty sure you could have spent the rest of the night outside in his arms

But Jimin steps outside and you spring apart like two naughty children

Jimin says nothing as he steps back inside

But his face says everything

Taehyung asks if he can have a second chance

And you tell him not to break your heart 

‘Only if you promise not to break mine’

Your first time

Taehyung ends up walking you home

It’s late and you don’t feel comfortable with him being out alone

So you make him come up

He tells you he’s okay with the couch

But you take his hand and lead him to your bedroom

Normally you wouldn’t be so straight forward

But you’re still hot and bothered

You don’t set out to do anything other than cuddle

But then you’re in his arms

His chest pressed against your back

Kissing your neck softly

Hands caressing your hip

The saying ‘less is more’ comes to mind

Because he’s barely touching you and you’re wet

The moment you turn to face him, he kisses you

There’s no Jimin to interrupt this time

And things escalate real quick

One minute you’re fully clothed and kissing innocently

The next, he’s pulling down your underwear and devouring you

You’re moaning his name so loudly

You don’t care if you’re neighbours hear

You can’t think further than his tongue licking you out

He’ll make you cum and continue to lavish your clit with attention

He wouldn’t stop until you beg him to

He’d be so hard when he finally enters you

All your moaning going straight to his cock

And he thinks he’ll blow the moment he’s inside

Because you feel so good around him

He’ll rest his head on your shoulder as he tries to collect himself

You don’t help when you start wiggling beneath him wanting to feel him pound into you

He’ll growl at you, biting your neck gently

But he’ll get the hint and he’ll mercilessly start fucking you

You’re almost crying when you cum again

Because he feels so good

And hearing you moan his name

So quiet

So gentle

Is enough for Taehyung to reach his climax

He’ll stay inside you as he calms down

Not wanting to lose your warmth

Eventually, he’ll have to pull out

But he’ll kisses you continuously

He’ll even go grab a towel from your bathroom to clean you up

And kiss you as he climbs back in bed beside you

You’ll lie face to face

Arms around each other

Just staring 

You don’t remember falling asleep

But your dreams are filled with him

Saying ‘I love you’

You have been together for a little while

You thought about saying it

But every time it’s on the tip of your tongue, you stop yourself

It’s too embarrassing

So you wait until you go away for a few days

You won’t see him whilst visiting your parents

So you slip it in whilst texting him

‘Hey, I got something to say to you’

‘What?’

‘I love you’

He calls you immediately to complain that you texted it to him

‘Nah, not good enough’

He wants to hear you say it

Shyly you do

Of course, he overreacts; acting like you just shot him through the heart

You can almost imagine him falling back in his seat, clutching his heart

The image makes you laugh

‘Hey,’ he says seriously

‘What?’

‘I love you’

You smile and tell him you can’t wait to come home and say it to his face

And he tells you he can’t wait to spank you for texting it first

When he proposes

It’s no secret that Taehyung loves kids

But having children never really crossed your mind until your sister gives birth

You take Taehyung with you to go meet your nephew

Just the sight of the baby in his arms makes your heart swell

Especially when he starts cooing at the baby

When you get home that night, you climb into bed first and watch him as he gets ready to join you

He stops when he notices you staring, frowning at you as he takes off his shirt

You just smile

Until he asks you what’s wrong

It’s one thing to admit you love a guy, quite another to tell him you want his babies

So you tell him ‘nothing’ and sink further into the bed

But Taehyung knows you better than that

So he climbs on top of you

Peppering your face with kisses until you laugh and tell him to stop

Then he asks again

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’

But Taehyung won’t stop until he knows

So you sigh as you try to think of the best way to say it without frightening him off

‘I was just... thinking’

‘About what?’ He lies down beside you, so you turn on your side to face him

‘The future’

You don’t expect his smile

But it makes your heart stop when he does

‘I’ve been thinking about it too,’ he confesses

‘Oh yeah?’

He turns to lie on his back, smiling dreamily up at the ceiling

‘Yeah. You, me, our four kids and our little farm in Daegu’

You move closer to him, propping your head up with one hand whilst the other gently grazes the skin of his chest.

‘Four kids, huh?’

He looks at you and for the first time you see the worry in his eyes

‘Does that... scare you?’

‘No,’ you admit immediately with a smile

You feel him relax with a sigh

‘I did imagine being married first, though’

You lie your head on his chest

You’re only there for a second before Taehyung’s loudly groaning, rolling you off him as he climbs out of bed

You stare at him in concern as he walks over to the wardrobe

You turn to climb out of bed but stop when he comes back out

With a little red box

‘Ah, jagi, you couldn’t wait a week, could you?’

He’s smiling playfully as he sits down beside you and opens the box

It’s beautiful

Amethyst cut onto a simple silver band

He offers it to you but you shake your head

‘I want to hear you say it’

He gets down on both knees in front of you

‘Will you make me the happiest man in the world?’

You pretend to consider it before smiling

‘Only because you make me the happiest woman in the world’

He places the ring on your finger before kissing you

You end up falling backwards with Taehyung straddling your thighs

‘So about those children?’ you enquire when he starts kissing your neck. ‘Tell me more’

He pulls away to smile down at you

‘It’d be better if I showed you’

You laugh as he continues to shower you with nips and kisses

It shouldn’t be this easy to love

But it always is with Taehyung

[blackbeerandcoffeemovies]

Spartan

Ahoy there! Up ahead, SPOILERS be there and they be minor, matey!

Rule # 13:

“When lying in ambush, wait for the enemy to get close enough that your fire will be doubly frightening, and after firing, the enemy can be rushed with hatchets.”

The 28 Rules of Ranging (Modern Version)

Maj. Robert Rogers

1757

Such surreal conditions we’re living in these days: in the middle of a global pandemic and citizens are mandated to be in “cordon sanitaire” confined to their homes with minimal outside exposure and contact. Perfect time to binge-watch on movies old and new!

The question thus becomes: which one do I watch first? 

While working my way through a mental roster of movies, I was listening to Louise Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World”. It’s basically the anthem of all that is warm and fuzzy in this universe. It’s comforting, easy listening and evokes images of what makes life worth living. Yep, what a wonderful world indeed. . . until a brutal international kidnapping and white slavery ring snatches a US President’s daughter who will be shipped abroad half-way around the world and mercilessly passed around and abused by filthy men. Suddenly, the world isn’t so “wonderful” anymore, am I right, Mr. Armstrong? That is until a rogue and salty special forces operative has to track her down in a grand rescue narrative.  

Sounds good!

So what triggered me to re-watch this “rough” (I will expand on this description later) David Mamet film from 2004? I just recently heard President Trump of the US tell his avid fanatics in a press conference about a successful clandestine operation to rescue an American girl being held in a South American country. Got the squeaky wheels turning in my head about a movie with a similar theme which was NOT Liam Neeson talking menacingly over the phone about his “particular set of skills”.

But first, let’s talk about the director, David Mamet. As I’ve often written in these online scrawlings of mine, a director’s story-telling ability is my main concern, the rest just being technicalities and pedantry judged on another level (I keep it simple). Mamet I believe is very capable of being so, as his storied work spans the decades, ranging from writing to directing in various genres. These include personal favorites of mine such as the survival-themed “The Edge”, the action TV series “The Unit”, and the magnificent, epic-like “The Untouchables” with an ensemble of so many notable actors, it’s like a mini-galaxy all its own!    

The movie’s plot is simple: a maverick on a rescue mission with unforeseen complications making his task a “bit” of a challenge. Nothing complicated about it. Yet, when something is “simple”, that’s often where the flaws become obvious. Because of the lack of complexity, you are able to dissect the story more readily and the parts where it is deficient will become obvious. On the whole, this movie was a good immersion of the senses.  

Then there’s Val Kilmer, the lead character who is an elite operator for the military. As I’ve known Kilmer’s body of work, it’s obvious the guy isn’t a talentless hack. My favorite characters were him playing a mix-blood FBI agent in 1992’s “Thunderheart”, an undercover drug addict in 2002’s sublime “The Salton Sea” and his epic, almost comical, a meme-worthy portrayal of Doc Holliday in “Tombstone”.  For this film though, I am two-ways about him. I mean there are moments where you do feel the muted intensity of a veteran commando on a covert mission. Then there are times when you see this look on his face as if muttering to himself: “Must. . . NOT. . . fart!” 

Though not much screen time allotted to him, the equally (if not more so) talented William H. Macy “commands” a scene. He is not a physically tall or imposing man by any means, but the way his voice, his presence, and acting chops blend together, he’s got the stuff of elementary school principals who leave children with trauma!

Ed O’Neill (who can forget Al Bundy in “Married. . . with Children”) also has minimal screen time but convincingly plays a menacing and cunning political bigwig who are the real ones pulling the strings of public officials. Don’t expect to see these kinds of men in the light; scum festers in the dark.   

Finally, a young Kristen Bell playing the damsel to be rescued while both Tia Texada and Derek Luke give serviceable performances as young officers and proteges of sorts.

So why did I deem this film of the esteemed Mamet “rough” in the beginning? I feel there could have been more character-building and a deeper sense of personal motivations could have been explored. While it may be true that the focus should be on the “chase” as the trope of the movie demands, I think I expected more from Mamet. Hence, my uncharitable description above.  

However, don’t let my minor quibbling dissuade you though. This is a nicely-paced, story-driven action flick that will keep you entertained despite a globe-stopping virus of plague-sized proportions!

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 4

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 3,122 for this chapter (15,775 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

i want to die

Aw, what happened? Did you give SugarScape spoilers?

Despite Dan's horrible mood, that makes him snort. no you buffoon 1 sugarscape has been dead for yrs, much like how i would like to be 2 i don't say spoilers ever 3 it's WORSE

I may be a little out of the loop. You gonna make me guess? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

phil, Dan sends on its own for emphasis. i touched my coworkers tit on live telly and now i can't look her in the fucking eye

Jaime hadn't actually cared much. She'd laughed at him, made some jokes about how Dan's spatial awareness hadn't developed yet, and then moved on with grace. Meanwhile, Dan had been having a mild panic attack on his side of the sofa because all he'd meant to do was brush a distracting piece of lint off Jaime's shoulder and, somehow, drastically missed.

It was all of ten seconds of his life, and Dan is still freaking out about it. He's been pacing his hotel room since they got back, hasn't even bothered changing out of the nice shirt he'd worn for the interview.

Like accidentally? Phil finally replies on Dan's third lap of the room.

no phil i need to grope people on camera to finish. what kind of person do you think i am. YES ACCIDENTALLY.

I dunno what you're into. I'm sure she knew it was an accident?

Yes, Jaime knows it was an accident, but that's not the point. there will be gifs phil

Phil sends him some emojis, only some of which make any sense in context. Dan isn't sure why that calms him down so much. He sits on the edge of his bed and sighs, waiting for Phil to stop typing. It takes a while, but eventually Phil says, Then you'll deal with them. It honestly can't be worse than you falling off the Jimmy Kimmel stage? I swear I saw that gif for months before I knew who you were. And if you're worried about people saying you did it on purpose, tell Jaime. You can talk about it like adults.

It's all laid out very clearly, and while it does make Dan feel better, he doesn't think he's finished being dramatic yet. He checks the time and sighs heavily.

dont suppose you'd be up for a late lunch/early dinner to distract me??

Sure! :), Phil responds immediately. The quickness of his agreement makes that part of Dan's brain start shouting again. I'm actually filming today though. I'll be done in like half an hour if you want to meet me here? Then we can either get takeaway or go out?

It's truly fascinating to Dan how practiced Phil seems to be at giving someone options and pretending like either one is fine rather than just offering his own opinion on the matter.

After assuring Phil that he'll be there, Dan considers getting changed. He's only got fifteen if he wants to get to Phil's place on time, and he isn't exactly known for his quick wardrobe decisions.

In the end, Dan just swaps his nice shoes for some sneakers and rolls his sleeves up. He's a little overdressed still, a McQueen button-down maybe a little too fancy for just hanging out with a new friend, but. He doesn't want to be late. Besides, he looks good. Maybe he likes the idea of Phil being surprised, looking him up and down, having the interview as an excuse to be so dressed up.

The part of Dan's brain that exists to remind him that men are attractive has been so, so loud this week. It's been impossible to ignore.

Dan messes with his straightened fringe until his phone beeps, telling him his Uber is outside. He remembers where Phil lives, in the very vaguest sense, but has to get the exact address from Phil.

He's glad that Phil's front door is painted a specific sort of blue. It would be just Dan's luck to knock on the wrong narrow brick building.

Thor barks, somewhere inside, and Dan shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he waits for Phil to answer the door.

"Hey!" Phil greets him before he's even fully opened the door, beaming. To the great pleasure of Dan's ego, Phil's eyebrows raise as he looks Dan over. "Y'know, you could have changed. I wouldn't have minded waiting a bit."

"Feeling underdressed?" Dan teases.

"A little," says Phil. He pushes his glasses up and gestures at his own graphic tee and slippered feet. "If I'd known there was a dress code, I'd have put on a sports coat."

"You look fine, I was just impatient," says Dan. He waits for another beat. "Uh, can I... come in?"

Phil is giving him a smile, the one with deep eye crinkles and his tongue trapped in his teeth, but it drops as he realises that they've just been standing in his doorway. "Oh! Yeah, sorry, come in. I'm actually not done filming just yet, Thor distracted me. Shouldn't take long."

"What are you filming?" Dan asks curiously, his heart pounding a bit as he follows Phil inside and then, surprisingly, downstairs. "Wait, you're the basement flat? Your video lighting is so good, though!"

"Mostly artificial," says Phil. He sounds wistful. "Someday I'll have a place with a glass window, just you wait."

"What are your windows made of now?"

"What? They're made of glass."

"Then why would you need to wait for one?"

"What did I say?"

"Glass window," says Dan, fighting back giggles. They reach the basement door and Phil lets them in, giving Dan a sheepish sort of smile over his shoulder.

"I meant a glass wall. Like a wall of windows, y'know? That's the dream."

"Yeah, it is," Dan agrees, but he's distracted by the fact that he's in Phil's flat. He kicks his shoes off among the pile next to the door and looks around. "It feels super weird to be seeing this place in 3D."

"Oh, probably," Phil laughs. "You want some slippers? My feet get so cold down here, I've got like a dozen pairs."

"I'm alright."

Phil's flat has less natural light than Dan had expected - or, evidently, than Phil would prefer - but the sheer number of lamps, string lights, and scented candles scattered around the place give it a soft glow that Dan is a big fan of. There are bright colours on every surface and every wall, and the overall effect isn't as overwhelming as it could be. Dan still thinks it could be edited down, but. It's very Phil.

To his vague surprise, he sees Phil's bed pushed against the far wall, a backless bookshelf the only divider from the open living space. Box lights and camera are all set up at the side of his bed.

"If I didn't know what you did for a living," says Dan, gesturing at the setup.

Phil grins at him. "Yeah. My landlord still doesn't believe that I don't make porn. You want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're having," says Dan. He spots Thor, curled up on a fluffy dog bed in the corner, and immediately starts cooing. "Oh, there you are! Hello!"

Thor perks up, cocking his head to the side, and Dan gets on the floor to call him over. Within seconds, he ends up on his back with an armful of happy puppy, and he giggles helplessly as Thor licks all over his face.

"Thor, down," Phil says from somewhere above them, sounding amused. Thor backs off, winding through Phil's legs a couple of times before he trots back to his bed.

"I love him," Dan informs Phil, still flat on his back. It's not the most flattering angle to look up at Phil, but he can deal.

"So do I," says Phil. He holds up a glass. "Ribena?"

"Please," says Dan, standing back up to accept the drink. He suddenly feels very weird, standing in the middle of Phil's lounge slash dining area slash kitchen slash bedroom. "Er, you've still got to finish filming, yeah? I can just... sit."

With a small grin, Phil waves at his sofa. "Make yourself at home. Just try not to rile Thor up too much? He's already made my blooper reel longer than the video itself."

"I think I can handle that."

Dan cannot, in fact, handle it. He brings his Ribena to the floor so he can sit next to the dog bed and scratch all of Thor's favourite spots. He finds one of Thor's toys as he listens to Phil wrap up a story that sounds maybe ten percent true, and then - well. It progresses to a tug of war before Dan can even entertain the idea that this might be distracting to Phil.

"Dan," Phil says, in this tone like he's trying to sound stern but can't stop smiling. "Are you growling at Thor?"

Yes. "Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm literally filming right now."

"He's just so cute," Dan whines.

"I know he is," says Phil. "I deal with this struggle every day of my life."

Dan sighs and lets Thor have the rope, watching wistfully as he zooms off with it. "Sorry, I'm really not trying to be a dick. I know this is your job."

"Hey, no," says Phil, suddenly sounding much closer. Dan looks up from corgi-watching to see Phil leaning against one side of his shelves, hands in his pockets and a soft smile playing around his lips. Butterflies erupt somewhere in Dan's belly. "I'm not bothered, really. I think it's cute. I just also, y'know, would like to eat sometime today."

"Why don't I just order something?" Dan suggests.

"Alright," Phil hums. "I'm lactose intolerant and hate mushrooms, but the intolerance can be ignored for pizza if that's what you want."

If that's what Dan wants. "What do you want?"

Phil blinks. "Oh, whatever."

"No," Dan presses. He knows it isn't very good manners, but he wants to see if Phil will actually offer an opinion of his own instead of walking that thin line of indifference. "I will quite literally eat anything. You pick."

It's quiet for a moment while Phil thinks it over, only the hum of the refrigerator and Thor's little huffs of breath for background noise. Dan has to admit that the small basement windows have an upside - less traffic din is able to get through. Coupled with the way Phil has lit his flat, the atmosphere makes Dan feel comfortable, like he could curl up here and just stay.

The rug under Dan is soft, the Ribena is perfectly watered down, and he's got a cute dog and a cute boy to stare at. He really could sit here forever and be content.

"I feel like Chinese," Phil says eventually. He's chewing on his lip, and Dan realises he hasn't seen Phil look so... anxious.

"Chinese sounds great," says Dan. "I'll order."

Phil seems relieved that he hasn't accidentally made a horrible choice or something, and he goes back to filming while Dan fucks around on different apps to find the best Chinese place in Phil's area.

--

"You never actually told me how you managed to grope someone."

Dan, who had gotten all wrapped up in chow mein and MasterChef and had forgotten his hellish morning by this point, chokes on air.

"Oh my god, nooooo," he groans, covering his face with both hands and sinking further into the sofa. He hears Phil laugh. "She just! Had some fucking, like, fluff on her shoulder. Like lint. I was gonna brush it off."

"How did you fuck that up so hard?" Phil asks. He sounds so amused that Dan wants to keep hiding, but the curse has him peeking out between his fingers curiously.

"I've never heard you swear," says Dan.

"I don't," says Phil, "on YouTube."

Unfortunately for Dan, the sound of Phil swearing is very hot. He groans again, overdramatic to cover up his very real blush, and gesticulates wildly. "My limbs are not friends with my brain, okay, I've got very big hands and I misjudged where I was putting one of them."

"Yeah, you do." Phil's eyes track Dan's hands with an intensity that makes Dan's gut constrict. Then he blinks, meets Dan's eye again, and the look is gone. "That sucks. I get it, though, my body and brain are not on the same frequency at all."

Dan thinks, a little hysterically, that this is a very good reason not to try and have sex with AmazingPhil - he doesn't want to end up in A&E.

There are roughly a hundred other reasons, too. Dan's uncertainty about his own identity, the fact that he's only in the UK for another two weeks, and the very real bond that they've been forming as friends are all at the forefront of his mind. Even so, it helps to make a joke to himself about it.

"Have you ever touched a tit accidentally?" Dan asks dryly.

"I've never touched a tit at all," says Phil. He's drinking coffee despite the hour hurtling into evening quickly, and Dan has to wonder if he ever sleeps. "Not really my wheelhouse."

"They're fine," Dan says, with much less enthusiasm than he normally would. He can't sit here and talk about his boob opinions with Phil, though, because that way lies madness. So he changes the subject, talks loudly about the episode of MasterChef they're on.

He's not ready to come out properly to himself, let alone to someone he barely knows.

Well, okay. It would be more accurate to say 'just met', because Dan feels like he does know Phil fairly well at this point. At least as well as he knows Jaime or Patrick. And maybe that's more of a commentary on how shit a coworker he is, how bad at making friends he is, but whatever. The point is that he likes spending time with Phil a lot, and he wants to do it more, but he can't have that conversation yet.

Dan knows he's attracted to guys. When he was younger and had an even worse handle on himself, that attraction would either lead to fumbling, fearing for his safety, or both.

Right now, specifically, he is attracted to Phil. This feels different, because he's got no reason to fear Phil or to immediately jump him, he's just comfortable sitting next to Phil in the dim light and letting the warmth of the feelings settle in his chest.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to tell Phil that he likes guys. Maybe that'll even go somewhere. For now, Dan is going to trash talk the chefs like he knows what he's talking about and settle into Phil's sofa and laugh like he belongs there.

Dan gets a little too comfortable. He has no idea what time it is when his eyes start to droop, but he's sure it's unreasonably early for someone who goes to sleep in the wee hours of morning most of the time.

A hand on his shoulder jerks him back into full awareness, and Dan blinks over at Phil. "Whuh?"

"Hey," says Phil. He's smiling and his voice is low. Dan can feel the slight chill of Phil's palm through the thin material of his dress shirt.

It's overwhelming, suddenly, how much Dan wants to lean in to Phil. The itch under his skin that he would feel ten years or so ago, the restless, guilty want that had him falling into bed with whatever bloke would let him, is thrumming through him with an intensity he hasn't prepared for. Dan's tongue feels heavy, and his gaze drops to Phil's mouth before he can stop it.

"Hey," echoes Dan, a beat or two late.

"You're falling asleep," Phil says. There's something about his tone that Dan can't quite place, so focused on his own emotions as he is. "You wanna stay over?"

Dan really, really does. But he really, really, really shouldn't.

"I can't," he says, not bothering to hide how regretful it makes him to turn the offer down. "Breakfast telly or whatever in the morning."

The loss of Phil's hand on Dan is one that he thinks he'll be feeling until Phil touches him again. "Of course. You probably have to wake up ridiculously early for that, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

Dan orders himself an Uber and slides to the floor with Thor in order to stop himself from giving his body what it wants in the short amount of time before it arrives. Thor likes the attention, and when Dan glances up to see the soft, unguarded look in Phil's eye, he thinks that Phil probably doesn't mind being ditched for his dog.

They chat about MasterChef and Dan's upcoming interview for a few minutes, safe topics, and Dan is disappointed when his phone beeps with the notification that his driver is close. He doesn't actually want to leave, he just knows he has to.

"We have to do this again before you head up to Edinburgh," says Phil. He walks Dan to the door, which is a little pointless - it's a total of eight steps away.

"How'd you know we're going to Edinburgh this weekend?" Dan asks, distracted from the process of getting his shoes on.

"Been in the business a while, lucky guess."

"Right. Well, then, I'll have to see what I'm doing on Friday."

"Yeah, just message me," says Phil.

There's a moment after Dan gets his shoes on where they're both just standing there looking at each other, and Dan's heart starts pounding like he's getting chased.

"I'll see you Friday," Dan says quietly, even though he isn't sure that he's free. He just needs to say something. His phone beeps again, probably telling him the driver is outside, and Dan is both relieved and annoyed.

Phil opens his mouth to say something, but Dan's racing heart and anxious mind doesn't want to hear whatever it is. He steps forward and wraps his arms around Phil's waist in a tight goodbye hug. It's the sort of embrace he'd give any of his friends, nothing overly intimate, but he knows he'll be thinking about it later anyway.

When Phil's arms drape over Dan's shoulders and his thumb brushes deliberate circles over the back of Dan's neck, it hits Dan very suddenly that if he were to try and kiss Phil right now, Phil would let him. That kind of knowledge is intoxicating, the surety of it making Dan's head swim.

But. He still doesn't know for sure what he wants, and his Uber is waiting. So he just pulls away, says goodnight, leaves.