#yet he up and does this within a year of MC being gone after mere weeks of searching

[yourqueenb]

Thank you for your answer, and thank you for putting so much thought into that 💞💞💞 mal and nia are my main LIs and at first I was really glad that at least two members of the party stayed with each other and mb even got closer but I can see how it would be annoying and/or sad for people who romance one of them exclusively. I think that I mostly just want to see eeal bonds between our party bc idk it just feels a bit hollow? In the first book they were just thrown together by chance but a whole year has passed and without MC there to hold them together it just shows how much less there is with exception of some banter and general sympathy towards one another. I also think that excluding Threep and other non-romancable characters from the main friend group makes most of the dynamic in choices hollow bc lmao all these people are here to try and fuck us and no one cares about each other beyond that. I don't really like TRR or TF but I feel like friendship was so much richer in previous books, like those two series, OH and TE - and in PM they managed to create a poly route where I could feel solid platonic bonds between people other than MC and LIs (Sloane and Hayden, Steve and Hayden or Damien and Nadia). Or mb I'm just a bit underwhelmed with the current plot course in blades lmao (sorry for rambling around the same three thoughts I just can't seem to gather my thoughts on this whole thing together 🫡)

I’m so sorry, I meant to respond to this sooner. But no, I completely get what you’re saying! You made some good points.

Even though all of these characters were kind of thrown together in book 1, personally I did feel like they were more like a family by the end of it. And I think that’s one of the reasons why everyone loved Blades so much. However, I do understand why the bonds aren’t as tight in this book. It makes sense for there to be some distance between everyone after what happened to MC and the apparent strife it caused. But I feel like they haven’t done enough to fully bring the group back together again and reform those poignant emotional bonds.

As you basically said with the exception of some banter and general sympathy towards one another, pretty much all of the focus is on each member’s relationship with MC alone. And even those relationships are very one sided with each person relying on MC for support, but not giving much in return. When the main cast is tied together by genuine relationships with each other rather than simply all waiting for their turns in MC’s bed, it’s really great to see and makes for a better book overall. That’s why the Pend Pals are still my personal favorite friend group to this day.

I will say that I actually don’t feel like the relationship dynamics in Blades specifically are hollow because everyone’s trying to sleep with MC though. And maybe that’s because I’m only romancing Mal (and flirting with Aerin on the side). But yeah, I think it’s because the writers have really been ignoring the opportunities to capitalize off of emotional beats (which I’ve said a few times before) rather than the characters just not having more to their relationships at all

[asmo-ds]

Hi, I really love your content which leads me to request a Satan soulmate fluff wherein Satan's internal voice is MC's voice and vice versa. So, when MC got summoned in Devildom, the moment they heard each other's voices, they already knew that they are meant for each other. I apologize if it's a bit confusing. 😔 Lastly, have a nice day and stay healthy! 🌺

Your Soulmate’s Voice 

Lil bit of angst, but mostly Fluff :)

A/N: I know you said fluff but my small brain started typing and completely forgot the genre and made the first half of this v angsty because Satan is such deep character it felt wrong to just have him immediately accept MC as his soulmate without an inner battle, so the fluff is more towards the last half of the fic. Also ily thank u for requesting <3

Description: A soulmate AU where your inner voice is your soulmate’s outer voice. Satan and MC have lived hearing each other’s voices for as long as they can remember, which is why they immediately recognize each other when MC is suddenly summoned to the Devildom

How, he often asked out loud, late at night when he ran out of books to read and was left to his own devices. How does a malicious, angry, demon like me have a soulmate with such an angelic voice? 

Since he had been born from the wrath of his eldest brother, he had been hearing this voice that spoke his thoughts to him. Why can’t I just hear my own voice, why do I have to hear someone else?

Lucifer had explained to him that the voice was his soulmate and one day he’d hear the voice through his ears rather than just in his head. That made Satan feel giddy, as a young child who couldn’t wait for the future.

Over the years, he began to feel guilty as the voice remained kind and careful, and his only grew angrier and rougher. He worried he’d hurt his soulmate with his wrath and he began to avoid going out, he didn’t want to hurt the voice’s owner like he’d hurt so many others. He didn’t want to have to see fear in their eyes whenever he’d lose his temper or even look at them with resting bitch face. So he decided he was best off just hearing it in his head for the rest of his immortal life. 

He read and read day and night, drinking in their speech patterns, from the soft graceful syllables to the occasional voice cracks, he relished in every word that wanders through his mind, not because of what it said but because he knew the voice saying them was the only person who would ever embrace him, wrath and all.

--------------------------

MC had always been a bit of a daydreamer, they’d known since they were quite young about soulmates and the voice in their head. 

They daydreamed about marriage, about the future, about who their soulmate could be and how they’d meet.

The voice was innocent enough at first, but then it matured and it became deeper and more rough. It failed to change the way MC thought of him though. They fell in love with his voice as a kid and they promised to love it for the rest of their life. 

As their friends grew and found their own soulmates, MC began to grow nervous. Perhaps whatever greater power controlled the events of their life had decided to single MC out and play a cruel joke of never letting them meet their soulmate, no matter how far they looked. 

They were constantly told “You’ll find him” or “If you hear his voice he’s gotta be somewhere on Earth, you’re bound to find each other eventually.”

But nothing anyone say could have prepared them for this. For the day they arrived in Hell and heard the familiar voice speak up,

“Hmph. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?” The blond owner of said voice responded to Asmodeus’s whining about the way Lucifer introduced him.

MC had yet to speak. They couldn’t bring themselves to, not trusting their own voice. They attempted to after a few moments only to let out a tiny squeak, audible to nobody but themselves.

Satan suddenly noticed their gaping mouth and tilted his head, “is there something wrong? I hope Lucifer here did not scare you, he is a pretty cruel man,” he smirked, knowing he was getting under Lucifer's skin with every condescending word that slipped past his lips. Hearing the voice speak AND seeing lips move in sync with the words was surreal.

‘‘Satan!” the raven haired man scolded. Satan. Their soulmate was Satan. All they could do was stare in his eyes, scared to speak up, scared of how he’d react to finding out his soulmate was but a mere human with a plain boring life. If the universe was going to pick a human for Satan himself, why would they chose them? Why someone so boring when there were royals in the human realm who would much better fit the role of a demon lord’s bride.

Suddenly their cheeks felt wet, and as they blinked their vision blurred with salty tears that ran down their cheeks. Happy tears, of course, but all the noble demon men that were surrounding them had no idea what had made them cry, leading to a panicked look between the prince and his right hand man, who seemed to them glare daggers to Satan for making the exchange student cry within the first fifteen minutes of their arrival.

Satan smiled a bit, angering Lucifer is what he does best and he’s proud of himself for making the lousy human cry so easily. He saw them close their eyes and take a deep breath, ready to finally speak up.

“Hi,” they started, opening an eye to watch as his widened, “I’m MC, it is an honor to meet you Satan, I-” they were cut off by the door slamming. They looked up and the blond was gone, everyone else staring at the door in shock.

“Well, I hoped that would go much better,” Diavolo said to Barbatos, who gave a sad nod in return.

“I apologize MC I do not know what got into him, he can be moody and I wouldn’t worry about him so much while you’re here,” Lucifer bowed as an apology to the human, humiliated by his brother’s lack of composure.

“Lucifer... I meant to mention this to you sooner, but I thought perhaps this would reveal their connection,” Diavolo started. “When I was looking at their file I noticed that the universe had assigned them a demon soulmate, curious I dug further and found it was Satan, which is why I gave them spot in our exchange program.”

As the men conversed, truths being revealed and shock evident on some of the others’ faces, MC stood staring at the door. 

I guess he really is humiliated to know his soulmate is an average human, they thought, I shouldn’t be so surprised I suppose. 

They began to walk, none of the others taking notice as they left the room, too focused on Diavolo who was explaining the circumstances. 

They walked and kept walking, ignoring the demons who were watching them in awe, a stray human brave enough to walk through the Devildom on their own.

But MC didn’t care. Their heart was broken and they didn’t care. They had waited so long to meet someone who would love them. They remained hopeful because of the voice in their head, reminding them their was someone out there that would love them and all their flaws.

“Well, aren’t you brave?” A strange demon asks, snapping MC out of their thoughts and causing the reality and fear of their location to set in. “A little human shouldn’t be walking around alone like this, especially looking so yummy,” he continues licking his lips as his eyes scan MC head to toe like they were a feast.

“I’m feeling a bit hungry, I’m sure you won’t mind me having a bite-” he reaches his clawed hands towards MC’s arm, but a stronger one with green claws pulls MC away and against their body, his other one having a vice grip on the creepy demon.

“Lay a finger on my human and I won’t hesitate to gut you and display your mutilated body to the whole Devildom,” the familiar voice said, leading MC to feel more relaxed in his grip, despite his violent words.

“A-ah my lord I’m so sorry! I had no idea this human belonged to you, please forgive me, I swear I’ll never even breathe in their direction again,” the lesser demon cowered, sinking to his knees, begging to be spared from the cruel fate Satan had promised him.

Without a word, Satan turned, tossing MC over his shoulder, ignoring their protests as he returned the house of lamentation with them.

He passes their room and goes straight to his, placing them gently on his bed.

“Satan I-” MC is interrupted by strong arms enveloping them in a warm comforting embrace.

“I can’t believe I’ve had you for an hour and already almost got you killed,” he sighs, burying his face in their hair, tears forming out of frustration.

MC suddenly pulls away from him, standing up in and walking towards the door, “Let’s start over,” they say before entering the hallway and closing the door behind them.

Confused Satan sits and stares at the door. He hears MC politely knock so he gets up to answer it.

When he opens the door he is greeted by a smiling human, “Hi! I’m MC I’m the new exchange student at RAD and will be living with you for a year! I hope we can get along in that time! Oh by the way I’m also your soulmate haha,” they laugh throughout trying to introduce themselves.

“Oh my Diavolo you are so cheesy,” Satan is barely able to contain his laughter as he pulls them into his room, twirling them around in a tight embrace, taking in their warmth and sighing happily.

“All jokes aside,” they quietly whisper as Satan sits back down with them still in his hold, “Why did you run? Is it because I’m a normal human and not special like you were probably expecting? If it is I’m sorry and I really do understand if you want me to leave you alone. I mean your one of the most powerful demons ever and I’m just... I’m just me!” MC looks down at their hands, which Satan now held in his own.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m the embodiment of wrath and all my life I’ve been afraid knowing that such a sweet and gentle voice could be ruined because of my temper.” 

“Satan...” they put a hand on his cheek, guiding his gaze back to their own. They open their mouth to speak but nothing comes out, so they opt to show what they’re thinking physically instead.

Their soft lips land on his own slightly chapped ones, a soft chaste kiss that leaves both parties with wide smiles.

“I’m so happy to have you in our home dear exchange student,” he chuckles before leaning into another kiss, more passionate and filled with love than the last.

Knowing they trusted him not to hurt them gave him the confidence he needed and he couldn’t be more thankful.

[kazuharem]

“Partners in Pleasure” ↠ Lucien x MC [SMUT]

AO3 Link: here

Pairing: Lucien x Female MC (Pre-Eternal Winter Lucien if you squint)

Part II of the “Forgive and Forget” Series. This is “Forget”

Part I: here (I strongly suggest reading this first if you haven’t)

Spoiler Warnings: CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM CHAPTERS 24 AND AFTER

SPOILERS CONTAINS/MENTIONS:

◦ CH. 21, 24, and after (?) ◦ Lucien’s “Dumbstruck Date,” “Hiking Date,” and “Gloomy Date” ◦ Lucien’s phone calls “Promise” and “Origami Class” ◦ Lucien’s Rumors & Secrets “Beneath the Iceberg”

Other Warnings: Rough/oral/unprotected s&x, fingering, edging, begging, jealous!Lucien

Genre: Angst, Smut

Description: Lucien gets jealous of...Lucien and proposes an addition to their cooperation

Summary: “Did 'he' touch you like this? Your 'Lucien?'"

Word Count: 8,500

Author’s Note: This has been inspired by my frustrations with “Gloomy Date” (I am not okay). Also, I heard Taylor Swift's "Illicit Affairs" and thought it sort of fit the setting for this. (I don't actually know anymore, this game has ruined me, ok). 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, plots, artwork. They belong to ELEX and Paper Games. Lyrics of “This Love” and "Illicit Affairs" belong to Taylor Swift. Like always, lines taken straight from the plot have "*" in front of it. Please enjoy (and cry with me)!

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

“Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times” 

Lucien gazed at his computer screen. After knowing that his research would come to fruition in three years, he had been throwing himself into work. Ever since the Queen had agreed to cooperate with him and get information together, Lucien had been working endlessly. Even though getting the Queen’s cooperation meant having access to a shortcut that many would absolutely kill to get their hands on, he had been hesitant about using the Queen’s genes. A part of him didn’t want her to become something of a lab rat in his research. He frowned slightly. Focus on work, he told himself sternly. Stop thinking about her. But it was useless. These past few weeks, she had been popping up unbidden in his thoughts. He would often wonder if she’s doing alright, whether she was safe or not. It was one of the reasons why Lucien hadn’t contacted her ever since they had gone hiking that day. That had been well over a month now. His fingers paused on his keyboard. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of déjà vu. Sighing, Lucien took off his glasses and pressed his fingertips to his eyelids.

A series of images appeared before his closed eyes. An elegant bar in a classy hotel suite. A small stage with a microphone. A text unanswered: *<Come to our team party in 3 days at the Petrichor. I want you to come, but I understand if you’re busy> A question asked: *“Who is most important to you and why?” A song shared between two lovers.

A groan broke the still, midnight air. These visions made no sense to Lucien. They weren’t concrete enough to be pieced together, but he guessed that it was from the other ‘him.’ That made absolutely no sense since they were in two completely different timelines. How could these memories appear in his head if the two timelines were independent of each other? Lucien shook his head and closed the graphs on his computer. He then opened the folder labeled “Memory.” It was still empty. Frowning, he typed a series of sequences and waited. An error message popped up and his head dropped into his hands with a sigh. He knew a lot of his questions would be answered if he could retrieve the lost Dream Test data. But for whatever reason, nothing he tried seemed to work.

Lucien gazed at the moonless night and his thoughts wandered back to that day she had purposefully lured him out to Ultima Bioresearch Center. He recalled the forlorn expression on her face as she stubbornly told him *she wanted to learn about the Queen’s existence, despite him telling her that the truth will bring nothing but destructive repercussions.

*“With truth always come pain and suffering. I will not run from it. Someone important to me told me this and that he would be with me along the way. I believe in him.”

His fist unknowingly curled into a tight fist. He still didn’t know why he had felt so angry hearing her speak about the important person in her life. Why should he care?

And then later, she had showed no regard for her own safety, but worried more about him being hurt.

*“My instincts led me here. Because someone once told me to trust my instincts when in danger.”

And then he remembered the way she had reached for him when he had slipped, causing both of them to tumble down the hill.

*“I couldn’t leave you injured alone.”

She’d rather both of them get hurt than Lucien getting hurt alone. Lucien’s lips curved up in a small smile, “Silly girl,” he mused aloud to the silent room, a hint of fondness creeping into his voice. He stared at his reflection off the dark computer screen, still displaying that error message. What’s gotten into him? It was like her innocent smile had taken root within his heart making him addicted and hopelessly so. The feelings stirred up the urge to protect her, to want to keep her safe.

“Fool.”

He didn’t know if the word uttered was directed to the girl or to himself.

His phone lit up, catching his attention, and he gazed at the screen. Lucien smiled unconsciously; it was like his thoughts about her had physically manifested into this text message.

*<Haven’t we agreed to cooperate? We should at least exchange information on a regular basis>

He chuckled at her aggressiveness and was about to reply when suddenly a sharp pain pierced through his chest, leaving him gasping for breath. Setting the phone down, he managed to grab a recording pen from his drawer before doubling over in pain. Responding to her would have to wait.

The next morning, Lucien invited her to a bookstore near her home. She was right. They should exchange information on a regular basis. One month had been far too long and Lucien could hardly admit to himself that he did missed her.

He hesitated and added: *<It’s okay if you’re not. I’m going to spend the whole day there anyway. You can come look for me anytime you have time>

Glancing at the clock, Lucien sipped his coffee and flipped through the pages of the book he was holding. He had no doubt that she would come.

After an hour or so, he sensed her presence and lifted his head. And there she was, throwing the world into faint colors. There was a nervous look on her face, but that steadfast determination was always present. She looked tired, but Lucien had never felt such sudden happiness at the mere sight of her. Lucien watched her approach and saw the image of him and only him reflected in her beautiful eyes. That observation filled Lucien with some sort of pride and his heart swelled. He was the only one in her eyes. As she was for him.

He smiled at her as she pulled out a chair and sat down across from him. They made small talk before a waiter brought over the food he had ordered.

*“Have something to eat first,” Lucien invited, nodding at the waffle and ice cream.

Her face tightened, *“I’m not hungry.”

Still so stubborn. Lucien wanted to laugh. Instead, he started cutting the waffle for her. *“It’s okay to be angry at me, but don’t starve yourself,” he said, handing her the cutlery. Lucien could see the hesitation in her eyes as she gazed apprehensively at him. He chuckled. *“I won’t know how to share these interesting stories with you if you keep starving yourself. Before you came, I was reading a very interesting fairytale about a…” He intentionally trailed off.

That did it. Her eyes widened in interest. *“A what?” She asked curiously despite her reservations.

Lucien smiled again and pushed the plate closer to her as an answer. Resigned, she began eating quietly as he watched her. He enjoyed watching her, seeing her eat drew up inexplicable emotions within him. How domestic. He wanted to laugh at himself. Moments where he felt entirely content were rare and they only occurred in her presence. He was never one to enjoy such simple pleasures. Silly girl, what did you do to me?

She finished and looked up at him. He smiled approvingly and was about to say something when he felt that familiar sharp pain in his chest.

No! Not now! Of all the times, why does it have to be now?

His fists clenched as he tried hard to hide the pain that was threatening to bow him over.

Her eyebrows drew together anxiously. *“Are you okay?” He should’ve known that nothing would escape her gaze.

Struggling to keep the pain down and reassure her at the same time, Lucien sucked in a shuddering breath as he gave her some stupid excuse. She didn’t need to see this. And he didn’t want her to see him like this, didn’t want her to worry about him. Lucien was also afraid that if his EVOL were to go out of control, he could hurt her. He needed to leave before that could happen. *“I’m afraid I can’t accompany you today.” He stood up to leave when she grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back into his seat. His eyes narrowed as his body trembled. *“You want me to stay?”

*“I just want to take you to the hospital,” she bit her lip, worry evident in those eyes.

*“You’re putting yourself in danger for stopping me like this,” Lucien could barely hold himself up as he grit out those words. It was getting harder and harder to breathe by the second.

Silly girl, have you no sense for your own safety?

She stared defiantly at him, *“If the danger is from you, I think I can handle it.” She reached out to grab his arm. “Don’t underestimate me. I am Queen.” Determination blazed in her eyes. It was the first time Lucien had heard her state her title with such fierceness. “I’m not going to sit here and ignore what’s happening to my partner.” Lucien staggered to his feet as sweat poured down his back. She steadied him. *“Come back with me if you don’t want to go to the hospital. You need a safe place to rest. I’ve helped you twice, so can you at least trust me once?”

Lucien wanted to chuckle at her words. She always had her guard up around him, always appeared so reserved. It was her who didn’t trust him, yet she was blatantly asking that he trust her. Very well, he would place his trust in this silly girl. He nodded slowly as he carefully gathered the books.

*“Since I’ve promised to share with you some interesting stories... I can’t go back on my word,” he answered her questioning glance and handed her some of the books. “On the way back, you can see if any of these books interest you.” She appeared indifferent, but the turmoil in her eyes proved otherwise. Lucien frowned slightly but had no time to dwell on that matter as he lurched forward, the pain becoming more and more intense.

*She allowed him to lean on her shoulders as she dragged them to her apartment. The moment she opened her apartment door, Lucien stumbled over to the couch, loosening his tie. He tried to take in breaths as he shuddered, nearly bowed over with pain. Seeing how worried the girl looked, Lucien grabbed her wrist and tried to reassure her.

*“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked, thick concern lacing her voice.

*“…I never thought…I’d become the one who always needs protection…when I’m with you,” Lucien gasped out, still holding tightly onto her wrist. And it was true. It was she who had saved him from getting stabbed by Hades. It was she who had tumbled down a hill together with him for fear of him getting hurt. And now, it was she who had brought him back to her apartment so that he could be in a safe place.

She bit her lip anxiously, not knowing what to do or say as her hands clenched nervously.

*When Lucien felt the pain subsiding, he reached out to pat her head. “I’m alright now,” he tried to console her. Silly girl, don’t worry so much about me.

She stood up shakily and exhaled. “Let me get you some water,” she murmured.

*“Thank you,” Lucien said softly when she came back. Her forehead was still creased with worry and Lucien felt a different pang in his chest. It seemed that he always managed to put her in some kind of pain. *“I’m alright now. But you still look quite nervous.” He sat up slowly.

*“Do you…need anything? I have some painkillers,” she offered, still watching him with concern. “Or…Let me take you inside to get some rest?” She added hesitantly.

Lucien stood up slowly and she grabbed him to lead him to her bedroom. He held on tight to her.

*“Rest here. I’ll be reading outside,” she said quietly and turned to leave, but Lucien didn’t let go of her.

Much too trusting.

The feelings of wanting to protect her overwhelmed him and he tugged her hand, pulling her onto the bed.

Shocked, she gaped up at him.

*“I’m really worried about how you react in the face of danger,” Lucien spoke up, his voice was low. “You shouldn’t let your guard down in front of a new partner you just met.”

So naïve. So innocent.

She struggled to free her hands, *“Let go of me,” she glared up at him.

Ignoring her futile attempts to escape, Lucien continued, *“What makes you so sure that you can handle it?”

The girl didn’t answer and glared angrily at him.

Sudden movement near the window caught Lucien’s eyes. A flock of paper origami butterflies hanging in strands above the bed fluttered in the wind, almost as if they were taking flight. Lucien loosened his hold on the girl underneath him, letting her go. He quickly moved away from her. There was the tiniest bit of shock that passed across his gaze before it was steeled away behind stormy eyes.

*“Sorry,” Lucien muttered, his voice was solemn and tinged with regret. He had almost lost control. How did that happen? *“What happened to me was completely unexpected,” he began hesitatingly. Trying to compose himself, he continued, *“I feel that I should formally apologize to you, in all aspects… And I’m also thankful for your trust and for you taking care of me.” She wasn’t looking at him. Lucien swallowed. *“Did I…scare you?”

*“Just a little,” she replied quietly, finally turning to meet his gaze. He couldn’t read her expression. It was closed off, but within her eyes, there were swirling emotions which looked like they might break through the surface if Lucien pushed her just a bit.

*“When did I scare you? Was it when I wasn’t feeling well…or just now when I…” he trailed off.

*“When you weren’t feeling well,” she cut in. Her gaze turned sharp, *“Before today, I thought you were at least capable of taking care of yourself.” Lucien could sense disappointment in her voice.

He smiled wryly, “I see that I have let you down.”

She eyed him cautiously, but her expression still contained traces of worry. *“So, you have no intention of telling me what happened to you exactly?”

*“As a matter of fact, I never intended to hide anything from you since the beginning,” Lucien answered honestly, *“Before I handed you the key to the Black Cabin, I tried to explore its secrets. As a result, there were some effects.” He saw her brows crease and spoke up hastily, *“But don’t worry, they are gradually fading away. Their frequency and duration are both decreasing. I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few days.”

There were still worry between her brows. Lucien had an urge to press it out, but he didn’t. “This one month you’ve disappeared for…” she began slowly.

What a strange girl. She knew he was dangerous and yet she was constantly worried about him.

*“I had other matters to attend to besides dealing with the side effects,” Lucien interjected smoothly. A breeze blew in, sending the paper butterflies flying again. Lucien moved off the bed and finally turned his attention to them. *“Did you fold them?” He asked quietly, fingers brushing across the delicate creatures. “So pretty,” the words slipped out of his mouth of their own accord.

And suddenly Lucien had a vision of paper cranes hanging in strings, just like these butterflies, against a window in which gray rain beat down upon.

“Why are you being gentle to me again?”

*“A very interesting question. But, before answering you, I also want to clear something up. Each time I push you away, why do you keep coming back to me?”

A singular paper crane came into mind, with a tearstain blot mottling its wings.

*“That’s my answer. But the process of achieving this takes time and patience.”

As fast as the vision had appeared, it was gone the moment Lucien tried to grasp onto it. His eyes widened imperceptibly. Where did that come from? The voices that had whispered the words…It was no doubt his voice and hers. But Lucien did not recall those words ever leaving his mouth. And yet, just like the dream he had, he felt an intimate familiarity. Is this…could this be the missing data from the Dream Test?

Not noticing his confusion, the girl stood up and closed the window. Silently, she began untangling the strings next to him.

*“Can you teach me how to fold them when you’re free?” The question slipped out of his mouth before he could even think about it.

*Her fingers froze. “No…” her voice was hushed, shaky with unshed tears. “I don’t think you’d be interested in such meaningless stuff right now.”

Did she used to fold these with the other ‘him’?

Lucien paused, “Right now?” He asked, smiling as he reached out to help her. *“If it’s something ‘he’ likes, I’ll probably be interested too.” Lucien’s voice hardened. There was emphasis on the “he.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he had meant.

This was entirely ridiculous. Why was he feeling this way? There was no need for him to feel like this. After all, this was him from another time, another dimension.

She looked at him in shock, speechless.

Lucien chose his next words carefully, *“You are the Queen, so maybe you can stand on a higher dimension and see the truth that I can’t,” he smiled wryly, “So I believe that you have your reasons for every word that you say and every choice that you make.” He finished untangling the butterflies for her, but a certain one caught his eye. “Something seems to be hidden in this origami butterfly?” His fingers caressed the extra thick butterfly. “But I suppose I’ll find out when the time is right,” he said resignedly.

Lucien pulled away and reached to button his shirt before her soft voice stopped him.

*“Do you…do you like paper cranes?” She asked, staring at the butterfly that contained her note.

Lucien froze. Did she know about his vision?

Before he could reply however, that same tearstained paper crane appeared in his mind’s eye. This time with some faint writing on its wings.

*“I wish Lucien and I forever…”

*”For every forever that you wished for, I’ll be there. I promise.”

*“Paper cranes?” Lucien heard himself asking. “Yes, they also have a beautiful design,” he answered distractedly.

“*Maybe we can start with them. I’ll teach you,” her eyes met his squarely for the first time. There was the usual pain in her eyes. The pain of being forgotten by everyone. By the ‘him’ from a different time. But this time, there was something else.

Hope.

And it was beautiful.

For the first time, Lucien could see golden sunlight filtering lazily through the window. Vibrant and warm.

And somewhere, at the back of his mind, he wondered, was this how the other ‘him’ felt as well? Was he able to see these indescribable colors that lit up the world so brilliantly?

He also wondered if the other ‘him’ had let her go. The lone butterfly that had brought color into his world.

Lucien smiled when he processed her words. “Did I hear that right? So you will teach me how to fold origami?”

*“I’m sure you’ll master it soon. Maybe you can even teach me afterwards. After all, you look like a renaissance man,” she allowed herself to crack a tiny smile.

Lucien chuckled, *“Although I’m glad to have given you that impression, I probably don’t have as many areas of expertise as you think. If you’re interested, you have plenty of opportunities to slowly discover them,” he offered.

She hesitated, “As partners, maybe we can…”

*“Get to know each other more and build a stronger relationship?” Lucien finished for her. “Well, I’m glad to do so,” he smirked.

She eyed him, *“I find it hard to imagine that you’d want to learn origami seriously,” she admitted after a beat.

*“That’s why I said we should get to know each other better,” Lucien replied steadily, smiling. He finished buttoning his shirt when suddenly a thought ran across his mind.

How well did the other ‘him’ know her? Did she, perhaps…love ‘him’?

He paused, his fingers stopping on his tie and he frowned. He did not like the sharp stab of jealousy that ran through him. Love? Lucien wanted to scoff at himself. When did love exist for him? But he couldn’t deny that there was a certain yearning that pulled him to this strange girl. It wanted-he wanted to get to know her, wanted to know how she was able to spill her colors upon his monochrome world, wanted to know every little thing that made her, her. He wanted to experience the things she had done so with ‘him’.

“I have a proposition, if you don’t mind,” he was speaking before he knew it. She looked at him with clear questions written across her face. “Since you expect me to take care of myself, I would think the same expectation should apply to you. And lately, you haven’t looked well. I can only imagine that on top of dealing with everything that has happened so far, you haven’t had the time to take care of yourself. And I think that the events that has happened took quite a heavy toll on you, mentally and physically. After all, the responsibility of safeguarding precious memories is quite a task on its own. So I would like to offer a proposal, an addition to our cooperation.”

Lucien could hardly believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. They had been brought upon directly from the intense yearning.

She was watching him curiously and Lucien sighed internally. He had already started…

“Once we’ve gotten to know each other better, I’d like to offer the presence of my company to you,” Lucien continued. She tilted her head, a confused look in her eyes. He smiled at that and explained, “What I mean by that is because the ‘Lucien’ that you knew must have provided you with a lot of comfort and I’d like to do the same for you. He may have existed in a different time and dimension, but he is still me. I can’t promise that ‘he’ and I will be exactly the same, nor can I promise to do exactly what ‘he’ did. How far things go, how physical, how intimate, will be entirely up to you.”

Her eyes widened and there was a faint pink blushing her cheeks, “Wh-why?” She stammered and fidgeted nervously, eyes skipping away from his gaze.

“Since you are the Queen, you have certain powers. You’re able to access the Black Cabin, which allows you the ability to see across time and space. You have the power to see the different worlds that I can’t. Maybe by utilizing this power, you can bring some parts of the ‘Lucien’ that you know,” Lucien said thoughtfully, tapping his chin. “I’ve been having some strange dreams, as of late. Ones in which the contents are unfamiliar to me and I have no recollection of. However the characters in my dreams are very clearly ‘my’ memories. Tell me, how is it possible for me to have memories of events I don’t recall happening? These dreams and visions have occurred more frequently in your presence. I believe it to be a manifestation of your powers. As Queen, you have the power to connect timelines. So maybe, you have the power to bring ‘him’ back, the ‘Lucien’ from the time and space that you knew.” Lucien concluded.

She looked shocked with his revelations and he could see the glimmer of hope shine ever so brightly in her eyes. “What’s in it for you? What do you get out of this?” She asked hesitantly.

“Me?” Lucien’s smile widened, “Since my plan involve the Queen, I believe understanding all of the Queen’s powers and abilities is absolutely crucial. After all, I need to account for all possible outcomes. If I can witness this power, it will be very helpful indeed.” Seeing how she was still speechless, Lucien finished fastening his tie. “You’re welcome to give my proposal some thought,” he added gently. *“The story I promised you will have to wait until next time. After all, I’ve bothered you enough today.” *He headed for the door when suddenly he felt a tug at the hem of his shirt.

*“I don’t want my partner to fall for no reason,” her voice was soft, but there was a firm warning behind her words.

Lucien understood immediately. *“Okay,”

She nodded, but still not letting go of him. He tilted his head in question. “And about your proposal…” she began, cheeks coloring slightly.

“I told you that you are welcome to have some time to think-”

“I accept,” she cut him off, squaring her jaw and staring him in the eye.

Lucien stilled. “Alright,” he said after some time. *“From now on, I’ll start to think about ways to keep the promise between us. Fulfilling your wishes will always be my top priority.”

“There’s one more thing,” her grasp on his shirt tightened, “I’d like to put it into effect. Your proposal. Starting now.”

Lucien’s eyes widened with shock. There were rarely, if any, instances where he was rendered speechless. He searched her eyes to try to gauge her thoughts only to find a steadfast determination. And something else. Desperation, perhaps. His brow creased, “But my proposal only entails that once we’ve gotten to know each other better,” he said finally.

Her jaw clenched and the fire in her eyes seemed to blaze, “I think I’ve gotten a pretty good idea of what you’re like. And apparently you already seem to know every one of my thoughts. I’d consider that to be ‘we’ve gotten to know each other better,’” her voice was hard.

“Are you sure? Just to let you know, I’m not a gentle lover like your ‘Lucien,’” a wry smirk was playing about his lips.

“You weren’t-” she stopped herself and shook her head, “Gentleness is not what I need right now,” she said instead. Her face reddened at her words, but she didn’t loosen her grasp on his shirt.

“Oh?” Lucien was undoubtedly amused, “I’m not one to hold back though.”

“Good,” the word was a hiss out of her clenched teeth as she reached up to grab Lucien’s tie.

“Don’t hold back,” was all Lucien heard before she pulled.

The kiss was not gentle. Their lips crashed harshly, and their teeth knocked together as she pressed herself desperately to him. Her hands fisted his shirt and Lucien responded in kind, biting down on her lips. He drew blood and she moaned breathlessly into his mouth when the metallic taste spread around their battling tongues. She wrapped her arms around his neck, anchoring herself to him. Lucien’s hands settled on her waist to steady them. Her knees trembled against the onslaught of Lucien’s relentless tongue and Lucien picked her up effortlessly as he walked them over to her bed. She bounced slightly on the bed when he threw her down and turned to look up at him, breath catching in her throat. His eyes were dark and unfathomably cold, like twin pools of violet onyx that could swallow her if she weren’t careful. But she didn’t want to be careful. She wanted to fall, wanted to lose herself in those eyes that were so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. Reaching for him, her fingers impatiently fumbling at the tie he had fastened earlier, she slammed her lips against his once more.

And it was like a rubber band had snapped.

She tore at his shirt, not bothering with the buttons. Once his chest was bared to her, she broke away with a harsh gasp before raking her nails over his skin. He shuddered at her touch, breath coming out in a sharp hiss. He shed his shirt and his hand caressed the nape of her neck before tugging on her hair, exposing the smooth expanse of her neck.

“My turn,” Lucien murmured, his breath ghosting over her throat. His tongue washed over where he could feel her pulse beating erratically and he bit down. Smirking against her skin when he heard her whimper, he sucked hard on the bite. His fingers danced teasingly along the hem of her blouse before yanking it over her head. He ripped off her bra and skirt before she could even blink and began mapping out the contours of her body with his lips.

Blood pulsed through her ears, drowning out all other sounds. It felt like she was drowning. But she didn’t want a life preserver, no she didn’t need one.

Ever since she had come into this winter world, ever since discovering she had been forgotten by the world, she had felt so lost. Even after Shaw had warned her what was to come, she was still not prepared to lose the very things that had brought light into her world. She could handle Victor, could handle Kiro, and could even handle Gavin not knowing who she was. But when she had walked through the doors of the research institute to peer into the ever familiar eyes, only to be met with cool eyes that had gazed upon her with the expression of meeting a stranger, something within her had broken. He didn’t remember her. Lucien didn’t remember her.

And since then, every meeting they had together, she had tried to reclaim the broken pieces of her within him. She had held onto the hope that somewhere in this time and in this dimension, maybe, just maybe she could find whatever it was she was searching for.

Lucien, upon noticing that she looked distracted, took one of her nipples into his mouth, and bit down. She jerked in shock. “Lu-” she clapped her hands against her mouth before the name can slip out.

No. This was Ares, this was a Lucien who had never met her, never shared all those memories with her.

The man in question paused his ministrations. She watched as his eyes narrow into hungry slits, violet eyes nearly dark as the night. The expression on his face was cold and calculating.

“Hm,” there was a noise of discontent and she held her breath as he crept closer to her, lithe like a panther, and just as dangerous. She fell against her pillow as he caged her in, large hand encircling her wrists to pull her arms above her head. “I wonder,” he started conversationally, but there was an edge underlying his words, “If ‘he’ kissed you like this?” He didn’t give her time to answer, however, as he dove in and attacked her lips mercilessly. With his other hand, his fingers circled her breast, tugging, pinching. She moaned helplessly against his urgent mouth. “Tell me. Did ‘he’ touch you like this? Your ‘Lucien?’” He snarled the name. There was a sudden ripping sound before he plunged his long, tapered digits into her. She arched against him with a broken whimper. “My, my, you’re already so wet,” the man whispered silkily, as if making a mere observation, “And I’ve barely started.” There was a dark promise behind his words, and she squirmed at the thought. He smirked, letting go of her wrists while curling his fingers inside her.

Her mouth fell open with a gasp, “Oh!” His lips attached themselves to the hollow of her neck as his fingers continued to move inside her. There was a fire starting in her, blazing slow and hot deep in her belly, and it was spreading along her limbs. She clung to him, hanging on for dear life, her nails leaving red crescents in his back, when he hit that spot. “Please,” the word left her mouth in a cracked whimper.

The fire grew hot and intense and the noise in her ears crescendoed into a roar.

She was so close. Almost there. Yes. Yes. YE-

And suddenly, nothing.

All sensations stopped.

She opened her eyes to see him sitting back on his heels, serenely licking his slick fingers.

“You-” her voice was hoarse.

“Yes?” He raised a casual eyebrow as he popped his fingers into his mouth slowly.

“Wh-why did you stop?” She blushed, her voice had never sounded so needy.

Taking his fingers out with a light pop! sound, he smirked at her, “I’d like to take my time, you see,” he leaned down and whispered lowly. “It’s more fun that way,” there was that same cruel grin and he moved out of reach before she could pull him in. She scowled and heard him chuckle. The sheets rustled and there was the tell-tale clink of a belt being undone. She slowly sat up and raised her head to watch him free himself from the confines of his pants.

Her breath caught. His cock was standing proudly at attention, curving upwards towards his stomach. There was a shiny bead of white at the tip. Just how she remembered.

The minute he kicked away his pants, she leaned over and slotted her lips over his engorged, leaking tip.

“Ungh!” his hips jerked forward in surprise before he regained control of himself. She raised her eyes to look at him and when she did, she slowly took him in her mouth, little by little until he hit the back of her throat. He threw his head back with a low groan. She bobbed her head, hollowing her cheeks. Her hands came to stroke him where her mouth couldn’t reach. “Ah,” he croaked, his breathing was labored. Spurred on by this, she began to suck him with relish. She continued this for several minutes, gradually increasing her speed when he suddenly wrenched her away, pressing her down with his weight. “Enough,” he hissed as he bit down on her lip. She swallowed into their kiss, his eyes were nearly black. The look on his face was almost feral. “Shall I have a taste as well?”

Before she could respond, he had already slipped between her legs, looking up at her.

“Did ‘he’ taste you like this?” He whispered, puffs of hot air hitting her aching core. A wet tongue ran across her folds, hot and heavy. He watched with a satisfied smirk as she arched off the bed with a needy sigh, fingers digging into the sheets. Her thighs clamped around his head as he traced blazing patterns with his tongue. “So sweet,” he breathed, before delving his tongue inside her.

She could feel the familiar fire build up again, the pressure threatening to knock her over. She wanted to fall off the edge, wanted to see stars burst across her vision, wanted to lose herself.

Her pulsed quickened, her body tightened. So close. Just a little bit more…

And suddenly that wicked tongue was gone.

Her head fell back onto her pillow with a tortured groan, jaw slack. Her fingers fisted the sheets. There were actual tears of frustration in the corner of her eyes.

She heard that familiar, cruel chuckle before a long finger slid into her. She almost sighed with relief, but he didn’t move.

“Please,” she couldn’t recognize her voice, tinged with such desperation.

“Please, what?” His voice sent electrifying tingles throughout her entire body and she trembled. Squeezing her thighs together, she tried to get some form of relief. A large hand forced her legs apart before she could. “You need to be more clear with your requests,” he whispered, tongue swiping lazily across her inner thighs. “What do you want?”

“I…I want to come,” her voice was hoarse, close to tears. “Please. Let me come.”

“Hm,” there was a musing sigh, “I don’t know if I can allow that,” he moved his finger slowly out of her, chuckling when she tried to push her hips upward to meet him. “You see, this was supposed to be your punishment.”

Slack-jawed, she stared at him. This Lucien-no Ares-was indeed ruthless. “Wha-what?” She moaned breathlessly as his finger dipped inside her excruciatingly slow.

He kissed her wet folds gently and her head fell back again with a whimper. “You have invaded my dreams ever since we met,” he growled. “Not only that, but my thoughts as well. I always wondered, if a certain silly girl was staying out of trouble, if she was safe, if she was doing well,” as he spoke, he rocked his finger into her, stoking the flames within her once more.

She struggled to breathe. Between his words and his damn finger, she couldn’t even think straight.

“Don’t you think that requires some sort of punishment?” He asked and slipped another finger into her. “Making me worry about you, silly girl.” With those words, he curled his fingers and his tongue washed over her sensitive nub.

OH!

Her body was instantly ablaze.

He increased his speed as his tongue circled her nub, sending her head spinning. “Please,” she whimpered as she ground her hips against his face. “Please…”

“That does sound tempting,” his voice sent delicious vibrations throughout her, “Shall I let you come?”

She nodded vigorously, “Please,” she pleaded, feeling that ever familiar tightening sensation in her gut, like a tightly coiled spring, ready to snap any time.

“I think I prefer that you come when I’m inside of you,” he smirked and removed his finger. Her head thrashed about in pure frustration. “Patience,” he spoke softly as he came up, pinning her underneath him. “It’s more fun this way. You’ll see.”

She gasped when she could feel his cock pulsing against her entrance. “Please…”

His lips attached themselves to her neck. “What do you want, silly girl?”

“I want you!” She screeched, trying to grind her hips against him. “Take me! Please! Fuck me!”

“Did ‘he’ fuck you like this?” He growled against her ear before slamming into her without warning, finally pushing her off the precipice that he had been mercilessly teasing her on.

All of a sudden, she was flying, weightless. Mere atoms floating in the vast galaxy not tethered to anything. Sweet release filled every crevice, every inch of her. The waves of pleasure that crested and crashed upon her robbed her of any conscious thought except for Lucien, Lucien, Lucien.

She was whole again. Complete. No longer broken.

For a moment, she could believe that it was the Lucien who had woken her up on the lazy mornings in which by some stroke of rare luck, both of them were not busy. The Lucien who had smiled so tenderly at her before whispering a “Good morning, butterfly,” leaning in to kiss her and pressing her gently against the satin sheets. The Lucien who had mischievously grabbed her when she went to his office to drop off some lunch and then later, had bent her over his desk with a “Be a good girl and try not to make any noise,” ghosting over her ear. The Lucien who had slammed her into the wall with a dangerous “Tell me,” hissed angrily through clenched teeth when she was asked about the most important person in her life. The Lucien who had tortured her so ardently that very night as he grit out a “You don’t want to make me jealous again, kitten,” before thoroughly ravaging her. That the Lucien who had looked at her and held her like she was his entire world had come back. And for a singular moment, as she came back down to earth, she allowed herself to believe it. 

“Lucien-” she cried out, reality merging with the man in her dreams. 

He froze. That had been the first time since they met that she had uttered his name. He had been observing her, watching her unravel with pure pleasure, pupils blown out with bliss. Filled with great satisfaction, he had struggled hard to keep his hips still, a monumental task with him still buried deep within her. He knew she was still searching for pieces of the other ‘him’. And as she climaxed around him, her walls fluttering and clenching him (so much that it physically pained Lucien), he hoped that he was able to give her a little bit of comfort.

He hoped that she could find whatever it was she had lost. Or at the very least, he hoped that she could find a little bit of the person she missed so much within him.

There appeared to be another image of her superimposed onto the panting body in front of him. “Ares is not completely Lucien, nor is Lucien completely Ares,” her image seemed to be saying to him. “As long as you’re Lucien or the part that is ‘Lucien’ exists, I will love you. I love you, Lucien.”

A guttural groan escaped from him and the last remaining strands of his self-control, as well as his sanity, snapped. He grabbed her hips, fingers pressing down hard enough to leave bruises. His hips pulled back and slammed into her, making her shriek, her eyes rolling back from pleasure. “Say it again,” he growled, throwing her leg over his shoulder so he could go deeper. “Call my name. Tell me who is making you feel good like this. Say it. Say. My. Name.” Each word gritted out through tightly clenched teeth was accompanied by a savage snap of unforgiving hips.

“Lucien!”

“Good girl,” he panted as he reached between her legs to stroke her roughly in time with his thrusts. “Let me hear how good I make you feel.”

He was going to erase any other traces, any other thoughts of other men from her. Even if his rival was himself from another time. But at least, in this time and space, in this moment, she was his.

Her hands came to grip his shoulders, her grip vicelike as he drove without abandon into her. Coming from her mouth were breathless permutations of his name punctuated by the sweetest moans. She held on tight, nails leaving scarlet furrows in his back as his thrusts drove her closer and closer to the edge. She could feel it. Her impending destruction.

“Please, please, please,” she chanted as if offering a prayer to whatever deity that will bring about her absolute ruin. “Lucien, please.” Her leg slipped from his shoulder and she wrapped them around his waist, pushing him deeper within her.

“Come for me,” he snarled, hellbent on his mission to completely annihilate her. Obscene wet sounds of skin meeting skin filled the air.

Suddenly the coil in her stomach sprung free, fire and electricity mixing in a deadly cocktail across her skin. Every single synapse in her body was firing mini fireworks. She was blown apart into a thousand pieces, only to be put back together by the man furiously pounding into her.

Stars. She could see stars. Streaking white across her vision, blurring out everything.

There was a ragged groan and Lucien’s hands dug into her hips, spilling hot and heavy into her. He panted as he stilled. And then his eyes widened in shock.

For the world was painted in brilliant colors that he had never seen before. The gorgeous faint pink flushing her entire body. The gilded yellow of the afternoon light that spilled into the room. The soft blue of the clear sky. The verdant green of the tree standing guard just outside her window. It was like someone had put on a filter on the world, the saturation of hues he had never known about thrown into vibrant clarity. His breath caught in his throat; his eyes thoroughly dazzled. He gazed down at the utterly wrecked girl underneath him. She had made all this happen. Whatever divine power she possessed was able to bring light into his forsaken, dismal world. Or maybe it was just because it was her.

He was not going to let her go now. The only color in his world.

Trembling as her body started its descent, she opened her eyes to find everything hazy. There were tears on her cheeks. Whether it was from the mind blowing explosion or because she missed Lucien so much, she didn’t know.

But there was Lucien right in front of her, smiling down at her in that familiar, tender way. “Silly girl,” he mused fondly, thumbs brushing her wet cheeks. A hand landed on her head gently, patting her in a way that only Lucien could. “Don’t cry.”

“Lucien, don’t-don’t go!”

She heard a sigh of mild exasperation. “My little fool,” the familiar affectionate nickname pricked at her eyes and she closed them to hide the tears. “I won’t go anywhere. I’m always here.” Light kisses rained down on her eyelids, her cheeks like the delicate flutter of butterfly wings.

Something extracted itself gently from her body and she opened her eyes again to look into the familiar violet eyes. Only this time, there was no warm tenderness within them.

“Lu-Lucien?” she croaked.

“Sorry,” he murmured, a hint of regret in his voice when he noticed how she seized up after he had pulled away. He looked down at the mess of red and purple blotches blossoming across her skin. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head silently. “You said you weren’t gentle, and I believe I told you to not hold back,” she said finally, turning her head to look at him as he began to get dressed.

A small grin unfurled, “Indeed. Can I assume that we will be continuing our…’cooperation?’” He buttoned what he could of his ruined shirt and waited.

“Yes,” she said as calmly as she could, but her cheeks betrayed her, blushing bright. Maybe she shouldn’t have tore his shirt like that.

“Very well,” he seemed to be oblivious to her internal struggle, “I’ll look forward to our next cooperation. I do believe I have troubled you enough for today,” his gaze swept across her still naked body and he smirked. “After all, you must be tired.”

She coughed and quickly covered herself. Lucien chuckled as he threw on his black overcoat, pausing before the paper butterflies. A long finger touched one gently. “I hope you can teach me all the beautiful things,” he finally said quietly. “And all these beautiful memories that you shared with the other ‘me’…” there was a touch of sorrow in his voice. “I hope you are willing to share them with me as well.”

Her eyes widened. “You said you only cared about the Queen,” her voice trembled. “So, why…why would you be interested in past memories?”

“Yes, it’s true that I care about the Queen’s powers and potential,” Lucien nodded, finally turning to meet her eyes, “But currently, I’m far more intrigued by you.”

“Wh-why?”

“Why?” He repeated thoughtfully, “I guess you can say… I once believed the world to be rather bleak, if you will. I thought the world only consisted of black and white, and that the other colors didn’t exist. Somehow, you were able to change my mind and showed me that the world contained far more colors than I previously have believed. I am very interested in how you were able to accomplish that.”

There was a sharp intake of breath as she stared at him. She remembered a certain story Lucien had told her in what seemed like ages ago. A story about an artist and a butterfly. It couldn’t possibly be coincidence. But did she dare to hope?

Lucien smiled wryly, “But like I previously mentioned, there will be plenty of opportunities for us to get to know each other, so there’s no rush for me to find out the reason. And if one day…you find that the burden of shouldering these memories alone becomes too much to bear…” his voice became impossibly soft. There was the slightest pause of hesitation. “I hope…that we can create new memories together. And I hope that these new memories will be beautiful ones as well. *Maybe…we can start over…as long as you’re willing to. A fresh start.”

She gazed at him. This man had destroyed her in more ways than she could count. But if she had a choice, she would let him do it again. The pain of being forgotten faded into the dark recesses of her mind. If she could still love Lucien after his betrayal, maybe she could also love this new Lucien in this time as well. She was willing to believe that their love could transcend time and space. That their love was bound by fate. She wanted to believe that she didn’t imagine the flash of panic in his eyes that day at the Ultima Bioresearch Center when she had blocked a shard for him. She wanted to believe that the warmth she had felt when they had gone hiking wasn’t meaningless. She wanted to believe that the little bit of hesitation she had seen just then revealed that Lucien, this Lucien, wanted to create new memories with her. The beautiful memories that they had shared…would be precious keepsakes of the past, and nothing more. She would hold these close to her heart, but maybe…it was time for new ones to come in. After all, the man had burrowed himself so far deep in her heart that there wasn’t room for anyone else. Deep inside, she knew that *as long as the person before her was still Lucien, she was destined to be attracted to him, destined to fall for him-no matter what timeline, no matter what world. As long as there was ‘Lucien.’

“I’d like that,” she finally murmured, her voice hoarse.

She watched as he smiled, and she could believe that the faint tenderness suffusing his violet pupils was there. She could believe that she didn’t imagine the bit of relief in his next words.

*“Okay. Next time, I’ll set aside a whole day to learn origami from you.”

“Tossing, turning, struggle through the night for someone new And I could go on and on, on and on Lanterns burning, flickered in the mind only you But you were still gone, gone, gone Been losing grip, on sinking ships You showed up, just in time

This love is good This love is bad This love is a life back from the dead

This love left a permanent mark This love is glowing in the dark These hands had to let it go free And this love came back to me”

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Fanfic art drawn by: @kwella-kw​

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

For more of my work: 📖

[tartagilicious]

when we die, where do we go? [gavin]

+ this fic is for an anon that wanted an angsty Gavin fic, and also @queenvking​ and their request of a halloween karma inspired imagine! They don’t really figure out what Gavin’s circumstances are, but his shift still plays a big part! In addition, it was inspired by this call, gained from the evolution of Gavin’s card ‘fierce battle’. And because i took so long to write this, it’s also a semi-christmas themed one too~

→ pairing | gavin x reader (mlqc)

→ genre |vampire!au, angst w/ happy ending (ish 😳), someone’s heart is broken the usual, the mc actually trying to put her emotions aside for once in her goddamn life

→ word count | 8294 (22 pages of blood sweat and tears with a 30 minute-average reading time lol)

→ song rec | talking to the moon by bruno mars

→ note | it’s your local gavin stan here again with some hearty angst 🤠 also, originally gavin was supposed to die and then come back as a vampire (ikevamp style), but then I changed it to a coma because i’m a baby. and to make it better I did absolutely zero editing because I’ve been writing this for 2 months and just didn’t want to look at this doc any longer!! so, I’m sorry if there are any mistakes or inconsistencies~

“What are you up to?”

Gavin’s voice comes through the speaker with pressed difficulty, but his words still send relief flooding through you. From the moment you pick up the call, it marks almost a week since you’ve said even a word to him. He had left quite suddenly then, after all, and only with a vague warning that he could possibly be gone for longer than usual.

“Gavin! You finally called! Is the mission over?” You can barely describe the emotions in your chest upon hearing your boyfriend’s voice again, your smile widening as you hear him chuckle on the other end.

“It’s over.” His laugh morphs into something greater frighteningly quickly, as if he’s sighing, or even groaning.

Your brows go taut as your smile begins to falters. “You sound kind of off…”

“It’s just because I’m coming off a mission.” There’s still at least a smile hiding in his voice, but it does little to ease your arising gut feeling. “I’m tired.”

“...Am I the first person you called?”

“It’s getting really late, you’re probably anxious. So I thought, I’d call you to-”

Gavin’s voice cuts off over the line with a sharp static noise that indicates a harsh cough. The reception is bad enough that the already unclear audio is painfully fuzzy, and the combined roadblocks have worry settling deep in your stomach before you can catch it.

You bite your lip. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

His gentle laugh is tired, but portrays all the emotions he can’t voice just yet. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. Really wanna sleep all of the sudden.”

“If you’re tired, tell me where you are and I can go there right away.” You say, your worries suddenly besting you before you can even think about the words that escape your mouth.

“No, dummy.” He laughs with a familiar adoration lining the gentle sound. “It’s classified, I can’t tell you where.”

Your expression twists slightly, worry settling firmly within your chest again. “..What are you going to do?”

“My partner is close. Relax. So just, talk with me awhile. I wanna hear your voice.”

“O-ok,” Your voice falters slightly, and you try your best to cover it with a cough. “What do you want to talk about?”

The line goes quiet for a few moments, but the stillness carries a silent meaning you aren’t yet sure that you want to decipher. There’s something you aren’t picking up, you’re sure, but you have nothing but the worry of a concerned girlfriend to back your thoughts up. You quickly tell yourself it’s only natural to be nervous for Gavin, so it’s completely possible you’re just imagining things after all.

“I was wondering, are you worried about me?” He asks, earning a small and very stupefied quirk of your brow.

“On a dangerous mission like this?” You whisper, sighing softly before continuing, “Of course.”

“You know…” He pauses, the faintest sound of a grunt filling the speaker before he continues. “Ah — forget it.”

“…Forget what? Why do you always stop halfway through? Don’t you know that worries me even more?”

A moment of silence ensures before he begins again, more hesitantly. You strain your ears trying to decipher if it’s for you or for himself, but begrudgingly give up when his voice returns to normal.

“This is the first time I actually… got afraid. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? When a bullet whizzed by my ear, all I could think of was... I haven’t returned your calls yet.”

Tears pool at your lash at your boyfriend’s confession. “Oh, Gavin…”

“Are you crying..? Don’t cry. I’ll be back soon.”

You wipe away your warm tears before they can fall, but they still peek through in your voice as you say, “I’ll be waiting. We’ve still got a lot of things to do together.”

“I’ll take you to the movies, or maybe even karaoke.” He pushes out a strained snicker, admitting more of his condition than he has since you picked up the call. “I bet you’re dying to find out how tone deaf I am.”

You laugh along through your tears. “Nonsense! You’re obviously a good singer!”

Gavin is silent yet again for a few painstaking moments before he begins to whisper, his voice cracking slightly under change as he says your name. “___, I might not say it often, but I just want you to know that you matter so much to me. I’m so glad to have met you again. ``I love you.”

Looking back on that call, you don’t know why you refused to believe what you already knew was true. Maybe if you had, things would have gone differently. But even in the end, it seems that he was only trying to keep you from worrying, granted that this time, it may have almost cost him his life in return.

Gavin goes quiet a mere few minutes later, his phone slipping straight out of his hands to hit the ground hard. And yet, even as you already know what’s probably become of him by then, you still can’t bring yourself to hang up. His shallow breaths have almost completely ceased, and there’s barely an intelligible sound coming from the other side of the line save for the quiet echo of the blowing wind.

You let out a shaky breath as you continue to strain your ear for even the littlest signs of life, but can’t even find relief in his slight breath in and out.

He’s close to death and it kills you that you can’t do anything about it.

You soon hear footsteps rushing over on his side, and quite suddenly, you’re put to the ear of Gavin’s partner and good friend, Eli. You’d only met him briefly before, having barely managed to share even a single conversation back then because of your business with the STF. And because Gavin has never particularly been one to put you in any unnecessary danger, that was the last time you talked to him.

It’s depressing that your second meeting has to be in such gruesome circumstances.

“Sir, it’s still on.”

A voice you don’t recognise says these words faintly, and after a few seconds of radio silence, they wordlessly pick Gavin’s phone up and hand it over to Eli.

Eli mumbles briefly and unidentifiably before putting his mouth to the phone’s speaker

“___. I probably shouldn’t have expected anyone else but you to be the person he’d call in a time like this.”

You appreciate his attempt to lighten the atmosphere, but that’s far from what you need right now. You just go quiet in response, trying your best to gather yourself before speaking. “...Is this Eli?”

“It is.” You hear him swallow tighty as shuffling presumes in the background. “I’m so sorry, ___.”

Nothing but meaningless background noises fill the room, and your attention mixes with it. You can’t help but zone out of Eli’s consoling words and rather go to focus intently on keeping your sporadic heartbeat still.

“Please help him, Eli. He’s still alive, I know --”

“Ok.” He interrupts, inferably for your sake as words freeze in your throat. “I’ll try my best, ___.”

Your breathing is laboured and tears are streaming down your cheeks, but you don’t dare to try and stop them altogether. There’s only one thing — one person — that could manage to make you feel better right now, and that’s hardly yourself.

But for the time being, it’s impossible.

Gavin’s unit almost immediately decides to bring him into intensive care for fear of the possibility of his evol losing control under his fragile state of comatose. It’s rare for such things to occur in those stages, but everyone is in a silent agreement that it isn’t necessarily wrong to take precautions; especially since Gavin isn’t exactly typical. After all, his long years of being an evol agent have made his powers finely developed and too powerful to run freely when he’s in no place to control them.

You’re allowed to see him again around a week later.

You’d been given no specific date for the event upon your chat with Eli that day, but the time still comes faster than you thought it would. The organisation is a complicated web that you still don’t completely understand, so for all you know, those complications could have very well taken much longer.

Eli is the first to greet you when you go to the STF that day, and only silently leads you to the medical ward Gavin is being supervised in. There isn’t much for him to say, but it’s not like you necessarily have the capacity to ask about the details of your boyfriend’s death yet anyway.

“Be careful with him, okay? I know it’s a given, but we’re trying to make sure he’s stable before we make any other moves. So, just make sure not to touch the equipment.”

You give him your best smile in response. “Okay, I won’t. Thank you for everything.”

He nods, opting to give you some space as he retreats in the opposite direction. You aren’t sure that it would matter either way, though, as you stand there long after Eli had rounded the corner. It’s not like you can help your hesitation — your fear — but you still feel tense ignoring the very thing you’ve been pining after for days when it’s right in front of you.

You have no idea what to expect beyond that door.

Are his signs of stupor visible even after such a short amount of time? You hope to god that isn’t the case, praying that you’ll be able to look at your boyfriend again as someone who only looks as though they’re in a deeper sleep than usual.

But you’re afraid that you’ll open the door and find his body to be like the movies: pale, cold, and utterly lifeless without a shadow of a doubt. This the real world — your prayers certainly don’t have to be answered, and your fears won’t always be catered to. That’s what scares you the most.

And the very moment you finally gather enough courage to grip the door handle with your clammy palms and push it open, you know the world is too unforgiving.

The steady beeping from the heart monitor is barely noticeable over the heavy silence of the room, only a select few devices working actively to keep your lover alive. He is indefinitely stuck in a place of stagnicity, but there’s not even so much as an audible sound from the unit to tell you so. There’s only a slight buzz from the machinery aiding him, because sadly, there is so little left of Gavin to aid.

Your footsteps are heavy and rushed as you make your way over to him, but you still hesitate to touch him for a few fleeting moments. His skin is indeed frigid on the eye, yet it feels much colder to your warm touch.

Gripping his hand tightly as tears threaten to spill, you reach out to gingerly brush the bangs out of his eyes. You find that usually, due to the stress of his never-ending list of responsibilities, Gavin’s brows are usually slightly pinched. And yet, he looks uncharacteristically calm in the absence of consciousness.

You sweep a thumb lightly over his brow, swallowing harshly as you breathe back hot tears.

Gavin’s lying in front of you once again, yet, you still felt helpless. That didn’t change — it never had.

He’s alive in your memory, taking leaps and bounds into the past that only pushes the despair deeper into your stomach. You touch over every aspect of him in your head: every time he protected you, every time he sacrificed something for you, every time he kissed you—

It takes a lot to shake away the memories as your tears finally begin to spill.

You would do anything to rewind time. Anything to see him smile again, anything to have him next to you, alive and well again. Because that night he had called you, he was right: there really was so much you hadn’t experienced together.

Your eyes flit up to his face again, and you bite your quivering lip hard. The sobs that leave you aren’t languid nor graceful, and rather show the depth of your grief much better than any action does.

The reality of the situation is harsh, and unlike the movies, it doesn’t help you grow; it’s not a moment of staggering realisation. Instead, it’s despair clawing at your chest like a caged animal, and your headache blooming into a thorny flower that can hardly be called touching.

“Gavin,” You whisper this gently, your hand falling down to his cheek to tenderly brush your fingers over his cold skin. Placing a final kiss on your forehead with blurry eyes, you whisper to him.

“I love you.”

When we die, where do we go?

It’s certainly an abstract thought, one you’re not even quite sure you want to delve into, but continue to anyway upon the striking memory of Gavin’s cold skin under your fingertips. Though there’s hope for him to wake, of course, the awful possibility of death still looms over your head as a constant grim reminder.

Some describe the place after death as a paradise, where you’re gifted a golden halo and luxuries on the condition you lived an innocent life. While on the complete opposite side, it’s depicted as an inhumane switch over to a ghastly figure: ghosts, demons, put it how you will, all are perceived the same.

But you don’t want to think about what you believe, because to you, there’s no reason to.

Months go by where your angel is still absent, stuck in the dreadful place beyond life and yet still below complete death. His indefinite state of stagnicity continues to keep him well under surveillance at that time by not only the STF but also yourself -- all in hopes of a miracle bringing him back to you all.

His evol aiding him, his body finally healing, even a deity in the sky deciding that they’d made the wrong choice in taking him away: every single possibility is counted by you. And foolishly, it gives you hope.

To lean on the power of prayer alone is half witted and you’ve been made aware of that many times, but sadly, it’s the only chance you have, so you won’t let it slip through your fingers for small reasons like that.

You’ve been through so much with Gavin — from the time you’d reconnected to the last day you’d talked to him, you would take little of it back. He’s your partner partner in life that you feel proud to stand beside, and maybe it’s selfish, but you wish for his return more than anything else in the world.

Only, you know that you’ll have to prepare for the inevitable fate of the world turning a blind eye to your wishes once again.

It’s hard to continue on when such a huge piece of your life is suddenly missing, and in those months, you find yourself struggling more than you thought possible. But you’re grateful for the people that have chosen to stay by your side throughout the hard times, even if someone in particular was largely unprecedented.

But Victor’s help still means a lot to you.

In a way, he doesn’t change much from his usual self. He softens under your difficulties still, but continues to be his usual demanding and headstrong self for as long as it’s good for him. Yet Victor’s normally irritating traits are still surprisingly easy to repurpose to get you back on your feet, and they effectively act as a healthy buffer between you and reality for as long as he’ll allow it.

And with his help, you find yourself slowly clawing your way out of the hole you’ve been buried in for months. Slowly but surely, every hand he offers you eases you out of your pain with more success each time.

Winter rolls around and you’re feeling the best you have in a long time. Granted, it’s not amazing, but it’s still progress. You’re noticeably healthier, looser, even — and yet you still can’t help but hide the sadness and regret you feel. Because no matter what, you know that the one who’s given you so much will never live up to the person you’ve lost.

The upcoming holiday season is only another reminder of that, your nerves spiking at the thought of your first Christmas without Gavin. Though Victor is there to help, of course, you’re afraid that you’ll end up taking the change too hard.

After all, your hope for Gavin to wake is just as bright as the day you had shared that short call with him, but even more so now upon the timing. Because along with the season, it’s also been almost an entire year since then. Your longing for your boyfriend’s healing is stronger than ever as a result, and even beside others, you find yourself to be as lonely as can be without him.

Being healthier, being happier on the outside, all of it only hides what you can’t help but feel on the inside. The depressing situation leaves a bitter taste on your tongue that only grows with each passing day — and your grief turns into a monster you find yourself battling every single day.

Truly, you continue to believe that you’re at your limit every single day.

But then something changes. Something in the heavens, something in the deity that you’d pictured giving Gavin everything he wanted in the afterlife, something in fate. And slowly, the course of life starts to change, too.

The days have always tended to go by faster when you’re afraid of something. You’ve known that for a long time after being nervous for school presentations, job interviews, and even plain-old events throughout the years. But you think that nothing you’ve ever been through compares to now, when Christmas is suddenly only a few days away and there’s not even a single word from Eli on Gavin’s condition changing.

The sight of festivities is enough to make you nauseous with so much as even a glance. Yet still, that doesn’t stop your oh-so gracious caregiver from decorating his house on his own, stringing every light and hanging every ornament by his hands alone.

Tapping your fingers on the mahogany of Victor’s dining table one night he invites you over, you’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by a loud sigh.

“You know, you’re going to wear a hole in the table if you keep doing that, and it’s coming right out of your paycheck.”

Maybe you would have normally laughed, but his joke only harmlessly bounces off of you as you retract your hand and let it fall to your lap. “Oh. Sorry.”

SIlence ensues before Victor sighs again.

“...Is there something wrong, ___?”

His voice is a gentler one, the same he’d used when he’d found you trying to piece a glass back together with bloody hands all that time ago. It’s the voice that once gave you comfort, but now only offers guilt.

Your eyes shoot over to where he’s sitting on the couch across the room, slowly taking in the way he’s shut his laptop and now directs his full attention to you.

“It’s almost Christmas.” You say vaguely, forcing a smile as Victor’s brows go slightly taut. Thankfully, you don’t have to explain any more than that.

“I’m sorry, ___. It’ll be hard, but I know you can get through it.”

“Maybe,” You pick up your head as your smile drops. “But that’s not what I want to hear anymore.”

Victor returns your gaze, and under that action, you helplessly avert your eyes. Even with his limitless kindness over the past few months, you still can’t help the inexplicable wall between the two of you. Maybe it’s your own fault, or maybe it’s just a difference in viewpoints -- but whatever the case, your methods of fixation almost always seem to differ.

His voice goes uncharacteristically soft as he busies his hands with the computer sitting in his lap. “I’m sorry that I can’t help you as much. If there’s anything else I can do—“

He trails off when you blink in response, your adam’s apple bobbing as you fold your arms on the table in front of you.

“No, whatever I do in this situation is up to me. I’m grateful for your help, but you have nothing to do with what happens to me.” You sigh. “I can’t rely on you forever.”

You can’t see his eyes, but in a fleeting moment you do, you swear that they almost beg for your opinion to differ. It’s a kind gesture, you think, yet it’s unfortunately not something that’s very realistic.

Victor doesn’t push it, just standing up and nonchalantly walking past you to the sink. He’s never been very persistent to you, and though that might’ve bothered you before, you’ve never been happier about his weird quirk than you have in that moment.

“Dummy,” he mumbles, his quiet words lost to you above the sound of the faucet running. You sit there in comfortable silence as he washes off his dish, and almost jerk in surprise when he starts speaking again a few minutes later.

“Celebrate Christmas with me this year.”

It’s blunt, and the wording doesn’t make it sound like an offer as much as it does a demand. But only because you’ve come to know Victor, you know his words are as genuine as they come.

“...I couldn’t impose on something like that.” You shake your head.

“You wouldn’t be imposing on anything,” He says, reaching casually for the towel next to him as he dries his plate off. “I have a function to go to that day, and though I was originally going to go alone, I thought it sounded like something you might like.”

You process his words for a few moments. He thought it sounded like something I’d like? Is Victor not feeling well?

“Are you sure…?”

“If I wasn’t sure, would I have asked?”

Ah, there he is.

The days after that seem to tick down faster and faster until before you know it, you’re waking up alone in bed on Christmas morning with an entirely new sensation running through your chest. As you force your eyes open to meet the forenoon sun, the change in atmosphere the occasion has warranted suddenly makes you hyper-aware of the empty space next to you.

Sorry Victor, you think tiredly, but now begins the start of what will probably be the most awful day ever.

You drag yourself out of bed after a few minutes and walk through your sparsely decorated apartment to the kitchen in favour of caffeine over anything else. But unfortunately, even when partaking in such a mundane action, Gavin manages to be everywhere. The hand you reach blindly into the cabinet comes out with a pretty cerulean mug -- only one of the many things he had gifted you last christmas.

The mug almost seems to mock you in your hand, but you mentally push it away and just put it beneath the coffee machine’s filter without another thought. You’ve gotten horridly good at ignoring your emotions over the period of time you’ve been left alone, and though you’re certain it’s not a good thing, at times it proves to be one of your greatest assets.

Because the more you can ignore the sinking feeling in your chest, the more you’re used to being without it.

You know undoubtedly that Christmas morning for most is a happy occasion -- children rush downstairs to a heartily decorated tree with their parents in wait, screams of delight from people of all ages when receiving a desired gift, and especially gatherings for family, friends, and lovers alike. But for the first time, Christmas means something horribly new to you.

Sipping your coffee and trying your best to ignore the scorching feeling of it, you sit on your couch and imagine yourself sinking back into the cushions. Maybe if you did, the day would pass by unnoticed. But then again, that would also mean that you would miss Victor’s invitation, and you were admittedly curious of the man’s vague offer.

Along with the upcoming holidays, a large part of your attention in the past weeks has been on what Victor said that night at his house. He had refused to tell you specifically what it was, only choosing to disclose that it seemed like something you would like and dismissing the conversation from there. It was a very characteristic thing of him to do -- and if you weren’t already up to your knees in his antics, maybe you would have dived a bit deeper into it.

You sigh out a breath of warm air at the thought, the coffee’s previously sweet aroma coming out half-baked. But the strange smell doesn’t even so much as vex you anymore as you cradle the warm mug between your knees, pulling your phone out of your pyjama pocket in hopes to distract yourself in the few hours you have until Victor comes around.

“You’ll be cold if you only wear that. Put on a hat or a scarf, if you have one.”

You shake your head and put on a smile as you shrug on your jacket later in the day. “No, I don’t need to. I’m used to the cold, don't worry.”

A small sound of discontent escapes Victor’s lips.

“You know, it doesn’t matter how used to it you think you are,” He says firmly, his hands instinctively going up to grip the lapels of his own coat. “You’re still going to be cold where we’re headed.”

You give him a suspicious look as you reach for a hat hanging on the hook by the door in your apartment, not breaking eye contact even as you pull it over your head as far as it can go.

When your eyes are momentarily covered, you swear you hear him chuckle.

“Is this good?” You ask.

“No, too much,” he mumbles, not caring to hide the laughter lining his voice as he reaches out and softly tugs it above your eyes.

The moment the soft fabric comes up into its rightful place, you’re met with Victor’s eyes awfully close to your own. And though you can’t fight the embarrassing heat that rushes to your cheeks, you just smile as if unaware of it.

“Fine, Mr I Know Everything, is that suitable for you?”

Something begins to shift in his eyes. but it’s barely for even a second, so you have a hard time catching it before it goes away again.

“You can let yourself think that,” he answers vaguely, a small smile curving on his lips as he turns back towards the door. “But we’ll know for sure later.”

You swallow back any thoughts daring to jump out and just nod, plastering on the same smile that you’ve been refining for months.

“I swear I won’t be cold! Now let’s go, we’ll be late if we don’t leave now.”

Going ahead of him to reopen your apartment’s door, you take a quick look behind you again and usher him forwards. Victor gives you a slightly scrutinising look, but well accustomed to it, you only stare back as he ignores you and goes past you.

Where you’re going -- the very place he’d so dutifully refused to tell you -- is a mystery to you up until the moment he gets started on the route.

“Wait, you’re taking me there?” You blurt out as soon as you put what you think are the pieces together, looking over at him from the passenger seat. Victor gives no response but the slight twitch of his lips, but that’s answer enough for you.

LFG is almost notorious for hosting elaborate Christmas parties each year: events that are raved about by the men and the women who attend, though still second only to the CEO’s judgment. You don’t know the specifics, but Victor has never particularly seemed to enjoy the holiday season, even when you tended to be more enthusiastic about it in the past.

But even if the yearly Christmas event had been one of your guesses when Victor originally mentioned his offer back then, it was still impossible to guess any further as the event tends to vary drastically per year. And since that’s still the best your guess can do, you opt to stare out the window and try to clear your head instead. Because right now, at least you’re in a suitable headspace to distract yourself from strong sense of loneliness that’s taken great care in hiding itself.

Gavin has been off your mind since this morning, but you know that the sensation will be short-lived. It always is.

Victor catches your attention again by turning the key in the ignition, effectively tearing you away from your thoughts as you go to look out the window. And you can’t help your jaw dropping at the sight in front of you.

This year, LFG has revamped the entire park to look like some kind of winter wonderland. Festive decorations make the scene merry, booths look like they’re filled to the brim with goods, and not to mention the main feature -- the beautiful frozen lake designated specifically for ice-skating. It’s wonderful, and for a few moments, an overwhelming sense of joy comes over you.

“Victor!” The pitch of your voice goes slightly higher when you turn around to look at him. “Your company did all this?”

Victor only stares at you for a few moments, as if not anticipating your reaction, and just chuckles.

“Of course, dummy. Who else would’ve?”

You ignore his snide comment and turn towards the window again, sighing slowly in relief as you take in the scenery yet again. You thought that having a good time today would be impossible, but now looking at everything from a different perspective, you think that maybe it’s your duty to have as much fun as you usually do -- if not for yourself, for Gavin.

“Are you ready or what?”

“Yes!”

On Victor’s cue, you get out of the car and walk ahead of him, peering inside booths and sizing everything up as you go. Just as you first predicted, the booths are overflowing with everything ranging from traditional ornaments to steaming baked goods, only, they seem to have everything in between in addition.

“You really prepared this well,” You say, phrasing it as a compliment as you lean slightly in front of a booth to pick up a small stuffed polar bear. “Everything is so nice.”

He’s quiet from behind you, but you can almost see his small content nod in your mind’s eye.

“Good. See anything you like? Consider it a present.”

You whip around at his offer, brow quirked.

“And it won’t come out of my wage this time?”

His mouth curls up, his expression almost sour. “What do you mean this time? You think I’d do that? Or in case you didn’t realise, it’s Christmas, ___.

“I know, I’m sorry!” You can’t help but laugh at his reaction. “It was only a joke.”

Victor grumbles about it but doesn’t look unhappy.

“But, Victor, I think I know what I want.” You say, gripping the little polar bear in your hands and turning around to him. His eyes don’t meet the stuffed toy right away, but when they do, he doesn’t look very surprised.

“Are you sure?” He asks. “It’s only been a few minutes.”

You nod, looking down into the toy’s familiarly amber eyes with a small smile twitching on your lips.  

“I’m sure.”

You hand it over to Victor, but as the cashier notices him walking up, she freezes. Her face heats up as recognition flashes through her eyes, but he promptly ignores her and goes to reach into his coat pocket.

“Sir,” She sputters, shaking her head as a nervous laugh escapes her throat. “There’s no need for you to pay.”

He ignores her yet again, pulling out a leather-bound wallet.

“No matter who I am,” He begins, his voice dropping into a brusque tone. It’s oddly chilly compared to his voice only moments before, but why, you don’t know and don’t ask. “It’s irresponsible to assume I don’t have to pay.”

Her face gets redder as the presumably kind thing to do blows up in her face. And after she apologises, they continue the process in painful silence that’s hurtful to even you, someone who’s not inherently in the conversation.

“Thank you for the offer,” You say this from beside Victor, smiling in what you hope is reassurance. “It wasn’t wrong of you to do that, and I appreciate your thought a lot.”

The young woman seems grateful for your interruption, and nods before bowing her head slightly. But, you don’t catch the curious look in Victor’s eyes as she says, “Please have a good rest of your night.”

Victor leads you away from the booth in what would look like a normal saunter to any onlookers, but knowing him as you do, you see the things no one else does. It’s definitely not something you see from him often, but that only means that you have the sight of it deeper engraved in your memory:

Something has just surprised him.

“Victor?” You reach over and put a hand on his arm as you walk, quirking a brow when he looks over at you with a slightly conflicted gaze. “Are you okay?”

You both stop near the middle of the makeshift square, and seeing your expression clearly under the lights now, Victor only sighs.

“I’m fine.”

And that’s about all you get out of him, but you know not to push it any further.

Soon enough, his mood swings are the least of your concern anyway. Because as you go around with the bag over your arm for the rest of the night, you feel a sudden yet horrible sense of nostalgia washing over you. It’s the same issue every year during the holidays, good memories calling up deja vu that still lead forth fulfilling nights, but this year, it’s different.

Your nostalgia is a constant cycle instead of a straight feeling, wherein the twisting memories are replaced by sadness further on. But for what feels like the first time, that same melancholic feeling is being accompanied by an out of place rush of happiness.

And for the first time, genuinely, since you were told that Gavin might not wake, you feel happy.

You feel nothing but triumph as Victor is dumbfounded by your laugh, like the sound itself is foreign to him. You enjoy things that you couldn’t before because of pressing memories, and like that you’re able to see everything with a clearer gaze again. You don’t have such a foreboding force crushing down on you, and it feels amazing to live without as much grief, even if it might only be for one night.

But then, going later and later into the night and finally having to acknowledge that it’s all good as over -- well, that’s a different story. There’s the same kind of purpose in each step that you’d been gifted hours before, but they come with less strength now. They’re dull, almost as if because the night is coming to an end, the effects of everything are suddenly beginning to wear off, too.

It’s a shame, you think, because you really could get used to a feeling like that.

You and Victor are some of the only people left in the park when you look at your watch, but you don’t mind much. Actually, even if you have to be here alone, you’d probably still choose to stay a bit longer. Because, maybe it’s selfish, but you don’t want to be sad again.

Surprise jolts through you as a hand comes down to land on your shoulder, effectively breaking your thoughts,but you relax again when your eyes shoot up to meet Victor’s.

“Stay here for a minute. I have to discuss something with a park manager.”

Not able to find the words to respond, you just nod.

And soon enough, you’re alone just as you wished. It’s not exactly what you’d imagined, and if anything, you only feel desolate standing in what’s supposed to be such a happy place by yourself.

Quite fed up with all the twists and turns the emotions in your chest are doing in those moments, you stuff your frozen hands into your coat pocket with enough force to send a small shiver through you. But while doing so, you remember your phone, still remaining dutifully in the same pocket you’d put it in at the beginning of the day. The surface is fairly cold, having been off for so long, but you still feel some sort of silly peace when the screen flashes to tell you it’s powering on again anyway.

You lose that sense fairly quickly.

The phone screen turns on almost immediately, signified with a small vibrate at the palm of your hand. And when it does, you’re met with a sight you never thought you’d see. The lock-screen, which would normally be a cute picture you’d taken while in the mediterranean with Gavin, was now completely covered by a mass of missed calls and texts from Eli.

Your breath freezes in your throat as your eyes take in the contents of the screen, and for a moment, it seems like all of your senses are gone. You want to assume the best, you want to assume the worst -- but at the least, you want to assume that everything is okay. It’s only been a couple hours since everything was made, and you hold on tightly to the belief that whatever happened, Eli handled it.

With trembling fingers and an equally trembling heart, you call him back.

“___!”

He picks up on the first ring, and you feel horrible immediately thinking that you have to prepare yourself for the worst. You’ve only been conditioned to feel that way, after all, and it’s admittedly a hard habit to break.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, a little more frantically than you’d meant to. “My phone’s been off all day.”

Eli only sends a breathy laugh coming through the speaker, leaving your nerves to hang for a few more seconds before delivering the final blow.

“___, I’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, but he’s awake. Gavin’s really back for real this time.”

Your heart stops.

Turning the words over and over in your head, you can’t help but feel surprised when you come up without a single clear explanation. There’s an indescribable type of joy that clouds your thoughts, but even so, you still know bright as day -- your prayers, albeit late, have finally been answered.

“...Are you okay?”

You snap out of the haze you’re in to Eli’s curious voice over the speaker, and quickly apologise as you wipe the tears from your eyes.

“I’m fine.” You croak, sniffing as you try and wipe the embarrassed tint from your cheeks. “Thank you so much, Eli. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Able to hear the man’s bashfulness in his response, you find it hard to hold back a smile.

“Would it be okay for me to come and see him? I know there’s probably still complications--”

Eli interrupts you before you can so much as get the meat of your sentence out. “No, yes! Please do! The guy’s been asking about you since the moment he could form complete sentences!”

You pull your lips together in an attempt to stop the noise raising in your throat, although it doesn’t work very well. So, you just nod and nod silently in hopes that will convey your emotion enough, and then inevitably realise how much of an extreme sport it is to keep from crying when you really, really want to.

“___?”

Another voice calls your name from behind you, effectively startling you out of your thoughts. So, you quickly finish your conversation with Eli and try to at least make yourself presentable before turning around.

Once you do, you’re met with Victor, who stands there patiently with his arms crossed over his chest. But his calm expression melts into one of confusion once he glimpses at your face.

“Are you okay?” He quickly walks over to you as you curse yourself inside your head for not doing a better job of cleaning up. “Why are you crying?”

You stumble over your words, looking up at him with teary eyes and a wide smile you can’t seem to wipe off your face. “Victor--”

He puts a hand on your shoulder, still hesitating slightly after all these months.

“Yes?” He whispers quietly, prompting you on.

“He’s finally awake.” You laugh through tears, sniffing as you wipe your eyes. “Gavin’s finally awake.”

You feel as if he’s happy for you, but because of your hands obstructing your eyes, you don’t see the depressingly blank look on his face.

But, he thinks, maybe it’s better that she doesn’t.

“If he’s awake,” Victor hesitates again before taking his hand off your shoulder and stepping past you. “Then let’s go. I’ll bring you home so you can change and go wherever you need to.”

Nodding gratefully, you go after him and decide that you’re ready to face whatever comes your way from then on.

“Thank you so much, Victor. For everything” You offer a smile to him as you walk back to his car, but yet again, don’t notice the pain in eyes as he smiles back.

“Anything.”

Eli runs up to you the moment you set foot in the STF around an hour later. A healthy time, you think, but not nearly quick enough for your racing thoughts.

Things like ‘what if something happens before I can get there?’ or ‘what if he goes under again while I’m stuck in traffic?’ rush through your head, but luckily, Eli’s there to cajole you otherwise.

“How is he?”

You ask this tentatively as Eli punches in a passcode for the medical ward. He doesn’t so much as look up from what he’s doing, but you still see his eyes soften with your words.

“He’s fine, apart from the obvious.” Eli laughs at his own dry joke, and  “It’s just strange, how he’s awake all of the sudden. I guess I’m not really supposed to be talking about it, but it’s only you.”

You try to push him along with your eyes, and catching your gaze, he does.  

“When he woke up…” Eli trails off as his finger hovers in the air, as if just over the last needed number in the keypad. “His injuries were almost completely healed.”

Your brows knit. “What? Healed?”

Eli shakes his head as the door gives an affirmative beep and slides open.

“Yeah. It’s weird, isn’t it? He was still wrapped up in those awful bandages and hanging onto life support a few days ago, and now he’s awake with barely any side effects.”

You don’t know whether to be curious or concerned at the information.

“What side effects does he have, then?”

Assuming the worst, you can’t help but be surprised when Eli just shrugs, talking as he turns a corner. You follow in haste, but are stopped almost as quickly at the sight in front of you.

It’s not like you haven’t been in the medical ward before, but the sight of various officers unconscious makes you slightly sick to your stomach. Some are having their last days, some their worst -- it all stirs something in you. You can only be glad your boyfriend isn’t one of them.

“He’s a little drowsy, so we can’t get much more than that.” Eli gets your attention again, to where you realise that he stopped to wait for you. “But for right now, it’s only a matter of expecting the worst so nothing else happens.”

Quickly apologising, you pick up walking next to him again, where he calmly and understandingly resumes.

“Whether it has something to do with his evol or another thing entirely, at least he’s making progress.” He muses, his lips twisting slightly in thought.

You can only nod in silent agreement.

Something doesn’t sound right to you, but it wouldn’t do any good to point out what everyone already knows. Gavin is awake, and maybe Eli’s right: perhaps that’s all that should matter for now.

Eli stops before you even realise it, and in mere moments, you’re staring up at the door to the very room that months ago you never wanted to set foot in again. But noticing your repetitious reluctance, Eli vouches to say one last thing before walking off.

“He’s been really stressed out, asking if you were okay like that. Treat him well, ___.”

Your insides melt at his soft words, and with tears blooming, you nod and turn back to the door. You’re alone in the hall again, almost as if you had travelled back 8 months in time, but this time it’s different. You’re here to see your lover alive.

So, for a change, you push the door open without a second thought.

“Be careful when eating, it seems your teeth have shifted a bit more.” A nurse chastises Gavin while she replaces an IV. “We don’t want any long-term side effects.”

You try not to draw attention to yourself, but the natural human instinct for eyes to be drawn towards motion sells you out first.

Gavin is frozen where he sits, but the nurse standing above him only sends you a patient smile. She’s an older woman close to what looks like salt and pepper hair, with faint lines decorating her face to show years of passing emotions.

The nurse hums. “Miss ___? I was told to wait for someone.”

You can only nod, forcing your eyes away from Gavin to acknowledge the woman for even just a second.

She gives you a once-over and smiles again, as if silently sharing a secret with you. But, you’re not nearly paying enough attention to give it much thought. Still, you hope it’s in good graces as she whispers her wishes for you to have a good holiday when walking past you to the door.

“...Gavin?”

You can only force out his name as the door clicks shut behind you.

“___.”

He sounds breathless, almost yearning, and the sound of his voice alone brings lost tears crashing over your cheeks.

Gavin isn’t one to show many emotions unabashed, but in that moment, you swear he doesn’t hold anything back any longer. Unsaid words flood from his eyes just as easily as tears come from yours, and in a moment, you’re next to him again.

Touching him again is rejuvenating.

It feels silly to think, but you swear that you can feel everything falling back into place again when he wraps his arms around your waist. It’s as if his touch is somehow forcing bad memories away: the bad memories of crying yourself to sleep; the bad memories of missing him so badly that your chest would hurt; and the horrible sinking realisation that you might not ever see him breathing again -- it all pacifies when you felt his breath on your skin.

“Are you okay?” He asks this softly, his voice slightly muffled by your jacket. You can’t do anything but shake your head.

“Always worrying about me,” You try to click your tongue through your whispers, although the action is just sad. “Even until what I thought was the end. Worry about yourself first, would you?”

It should be a joke, but neither of you laugh. He only sighs into your chest in a silent apology as you pull him closer, and you try to find pride in the possibility that just maybe, you’re giving him the same feeling he’s giving you.

“What about you?” Your teary mumble is lost along with your fingers in the tendrils of his hair, but the words still manage to reach him perfectly anyway. “Eli told me that you’re quite the superhuman.”

He doesn’t answer you with words, only nodding in confirmation. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to talk about it, but even if that is the case, you still understand. It’s likely that he knows just as much as everyone else does about his condition, but that doesn’t make it any less of a touchy subject.

“I hope everything is cleared up soon.” You say this softly in retraction. “It might be selfish, but I really, really want you to come back.”

“It’s not selfish,” You can feel his quiet laugh as he speaks, and it’s almost as if the heavy atmosphere from only a few seconds ago dissipated with his smile alone. “I missed you, a lot more than I should have been able to while I was like that.”

You finally pull back to look him in the eye, and he takes your hand in his with a such a swift motion that it shouldn’t even be possible for a man that was on the brink of death not even days ago.

But you don’t dwell on it. You don’t want to dwell on it. It might be strange, supernatural, even, but all that matters to you in that moment is that your lover is finally awake in your arms again.

And you hope with all your heart that it will stay that way.

[rvnclwrites]

Romania 1999 Pt 2 (Charlie Weasley x Female MC)

Summary: AU where MC is an American who attended the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry instead of Hogwarts. Set eight years post graduation (1999) when she finally gets the nerve to travel abroad and follow her dream to be a Dragonologist in Romania. Check out my master list for part 1.

Word Count: ~4000

"Watch out!" Dave shouted, giving (Y/N) and Charlie just enough time to duck behind the nearest boulder.

A burst of fire filled the air as Aro the Hungarian Horntail roared in disapproval at the swarm of people closing in on him. (Y/N) crouched closer to the dirt, shielding her face from the blaze. Once the heat and smoke died away, she peered over at Charlie who looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Having fun yet?" he asked over another booming roar from Aro.

She returned his grin. "Best time I've had in awhile."

(Y/N) had only been at the Sanctuary for two weeks and could already see why Charlie Weasley was considered the best Dragonologist there. He effortlessly maneuvered around the boulder, staying low to the ground to appear less threatening to Aro, and crawled toward the blazing flames ahead, determined and unafraid. It sparked a memory inside (Y/N) of stories her mom used to tell about (Y/N)'s no-maj grandpa who was a firefighter. (Y/N)'s young mind was mystified by what no-majs managed to do without the help of magic, but as her gaze followed Charlie with his outstretched wand, she couldn't help but think maybe wizards were just as crazy.

"Stupify!" Charlie, along with three other wizards shouted at once. The remaining four, including (Y/N), followed in suit, sending red sparks soaring toward the dragon. At last, the beast collapsed onto the platform, successfully stunned.

"Nice work!" Felix boasted, slapping Charlie on the back. "You too, (Y/N). Quick reaction time and impressive stunning spell."

(Y/N) nodded appreciatively, feeling the last of her adrenaline pulse through her as she helped Dave, Hank and Charlie finish boarding up the dragon so it could be transported to a different area of the Sanctuary. She caught a glimpse of Charlie petting the dragon's tail through the crate and smiled. The most distinguishing factor that separated Charlie from the rest of the team was that he didn't just do this for the thrill or the hard work. He genuinely cared for these creatures and wanted the best for them.

(Y/N) slid her wand into her jacket and turned to ask Charlie a question but reconsidered as the redhead strolled past her.

"Good work today," he said with a nod before continuing down the hill. Something about his long strides and demeanor prevented her from trying to catch up with him.

Despite how hard she tried to ignore it, (Y/N)'s heart sank. The other thing (Y/N) had noticed about Charlie was that he had some sort of indistinguishable pretense up most of the time. She had caught glimpses of what she assumed was the real Charlie- like his excitement moments ago when they were crouched behind that boulder, or his teasing grin on (Y/N)'s first day when he thought Norberta would roast her alive. But the rest of the time it was like he was holding back, keeping to himself and letting others do the talking.

"Don't take it personally," Hank muttered, snapping (Y/N) out of her reverie. "He's like that with everyone."

Not with you or Scott, (Y/N) wanted to point out, but she shrugged instead, not wanting Hank to know that she cared. Because she didn't. She didn't have to be best friends with her mentor. "So who's going to move Aro to the south wing?"

"The night crew takes care of that. Someone oversees on a broom and directs the other workers the safest route."

This peaked (Y/N)'s interest. She had seen a handful of wizards use brooms around the Sanctuary when rounding up or feeding dragons, but her team hadn't gotten the chance to yet. "Do you ever ride a broom here?"

"Lord no. I was never a good flyer. Charlie does the flying in our group."

(Y/N) felt an unexpected wave of annoyance hit her. "I bet I'd be better," she mumbled uncharacteristically, catching even herself off guard.

"Oh really?"

Despite the fact that she wasn't usually that competitive, (Y/N) didn't take it back. She was a good flyer. "Mhmm."

"Do you like Quidditch?"

"Who doesn't?"

Hank laughed. "Guess I should have asked if you play Quidditch."

A pang of nostalgia reverberated in (Y/N)'s chest. "Yeah, I played Beater for four years at Ilvermorny."

A concerning, lopsided grin tugged at the corner of Hank's mouth. "Charlie was the Gryffindor Seeker for five at Hogwarts."

(Y/N) shook her head, resisting an eye roll. "He wouldn't catch a thing if I was playing against him."

"Is that so?" They came to a stop at the bottom of the hill where the other Dragonologists were socializing. "Did you hear that, Scott? (L/N) here thinks she can beat our boy at Quidditch."

All three heads to Hank's left jerked up and stared at (Y/N) as if she had just sprouted multiple heads.

"Come off it, Weasley could have gone pro if he wanted to."

Not wanting to sound pretentious, (Y/N) decided not to mention the two offers she received to play professionally after she graduated. "Guess I'll just have to play him one day and see."

"Darlin', I'd buy you Butterbeer for a month if you won," Hank said, reaching for a drink before plopping down into a chair beside the other three. The men soon began bickering about which Quidditch team was the best this year, and (Y/N) took that as her chance to sneak back to her place and get some rest.

The one major con about her and Charlie not being close was the age gap between (Y/N) and the rest of the team. She got along great with Hank and Scott, but it was different than the dynamic she had with the Magizoologists back home. It would take some getting used to.

-

It was drizzling as (Y/N) began her trek back up the hill to meet Charlie the following morning. They had agreed to start with Ventus, a Welsh Green dragon, and (Y/N) wasn't surprised to find Charlie already at the landing as she approached. She was surprised, however, to find him swearing and clutching his left arm.

"Everything okay?" (Y/N) asked, jogging over to meet him. "Oh man."

A fresh gash stretched across Charlie’s freckled forearm. “I’m fine. Ventus' claw was lodged beneath that boulder and he lashed out once I got it free. I would have waited if it was any of the others, but he's always been so tame. He must have been in pain all night."

(Y/N) turned around to make sure Ventus had calmed down. Luckily, the Common Welsh Green was curled into a ball, seemingly able to rest now that his claw was free. Charlie was lucky this was the breed that had been in pain- any other would have most likely scorched his entire arm.

"I'll go down to Madam Rosetta to get this cleaned up," he said, wincing as he raised his arm to help stop the bleeding. "You can wait here if you want. Just don't approach him until I get back in case his claw still hurts."

"I can fix that for you," (Y/N) said automatically, instinctively reaching for Charlie's arm with one hand and withdrawing her wand with the other.

Charlie flinched as (Y/N)'s fingers closed around his wrist. Whether it was from anticipating pain or the mere physical contact, (Y/N) wasn't sure. Maybe both.

She looked up at him with concern, still holding onto his arm but loosening her grip in case he wanted to pull away. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "I mean, I can if you want me to." She attempted a smile. "Promise I won't make it any worse."

Charlie stared at her for a long moment, as if weighing options inside his head, and she felt his rigid posture ease the tiniest bit. "Okay."

(Y/N) cleared her throat and directed her ebony wand at the wound. “Episkey.” Within seconds, the open skin sealed itself shut, leaving but a faint trace of the injury. Charlie began to pull his arm away, but (Y/N) held it in place and muttered, “Ferula.” A white bandage sprang from the tip of her wand and coiled around Charlie's pale skin. "That will help with pain and prevent scarring."

(Y/N) could tell the spell worked because she saw the tension release in Charlie's shoulders as the bandage fastened around his arm. The redhead looked at her with curious brown eyes and she quickly released her grip on him now that the wound was taken care of.

"I didn't know you were a Healer."

"I'm not, I'm a Dragonologist," she corrected, a teasing smile tugging at the corner of her lips, and she was surprised when Charlie returned it. He raised an eyebrow at her, and (Y/N) shrugged her shoulders. "You never asked."

Charlie frowned and turned toward Ventus. "Can you heal creatures too?"

(Y/N) nodded. The process of healing creatures was remarkably different from healing wizards, but that encompassed the majority of her work back home. "Can't say I've worked on all of them, but I've helped a fair share." (Y/N) felt a sudden tightness creep into her throat at the thought of the Reserve back home and attempted to clear it. "You?"

Charlie shook his head. "I've tried but can never seem to get it right. Rosier and Dave’s buddy Logan do most of the healing around here. Must have been one of the reasons Felix was so excited to bring you on."

At first, (Y/N) was relieved to know there was finally something this man wasn’t good at, but then she felt a twinge sympathy at the look on Charlie's face. "You can't be good at everything you know."

He laughed a little. "When you have as many siblings as I do, competitiveness becomes almost innate."

(Y/N)'s attention sparked at Charlie's admission. Everything she had learned about the redhead so far, from his age to his house at Hogwarts to how many years he’d been at the Sanctuary, had been from Hank. That was the first time Charlie himself had told her something about his personal life. Maybe he would come around after all.

Unfortunately, the elation died away as fast as it came when (Y/N) realized she couldn't press him further. If she asked how many siblings he had, Charlie would likely ask if she had any and (Y/N) was hardly in the mood to address that question. So instead, she tried a different approach at friendship. "Want me to show you how to fix Ventus' claw?"

Charlie hesitated. "Aren't I supposed to be the mentor here?"

(Y/N) laughed. "I won't tell."

To her astonishment, he agreed. (Y/N) explained the process thoroughly; the best way to approach, how to distract, tips to ease the pain, the correct wand motion for the spell. Within an hour, Charlie had cast his first successful healing spell on Ventus.

"I can't believe that worked," he said, staring down at Ventus' unscathed hind leg resting comfortably on the grass.

(Y/N) nudged his shoulder with her elbow. "Told ya you could do it."

Charlie turned to look at her, and (Y/N) was horrified to feel a flutter in her stomach as their eyes met. She stepped away from the dragon and from Charlie, abruptly disregarding whatever fluke feeling that was.

"We should probably go feed Norberta before she gets too hungry."

Charlie nodded, and the two started down the path towards the Norwegian Ridgeback. "Thanks," he said after a moment. "I really appreciate the help back there."

"Anytime," (Y/N) said with a smile. She really hoped he would take her up on that offer sometime.

-

A couple weeks turned into a month faster than (Y/N) anticipated. The summer leaves were turning orange and the temperature was dropping to a comfortable breeze in the evening. Most importantly, she had succeeded at nearly every task Charlie or Felix handed her and was starting to feel more apart of the team everyday.

Her and Charlie's relationship had improved a little after that day with Ventus, but she still wouldn't go as far as to say they were friends. (Y/N) had continued giving him occasional lessons on healing and Charlie talked more when she was around, but there was still some sort of a barrier that (Y/N) couldn't figure out. She still tried to convince herself she didn't care, but as (Y/N) waited for her friends' responses to her letters, she couldn't help but feel the weight of loneliness creep up on her more and more.

"So, what's this I hear about you being better than me at Quidditch?" Charlie asked as he sat across from (Y/N) at the team's picnic table.

(Y/N) choked on her porridge, feeling heat crawl up her neck as everyone at the table turned to look at her. "I didn't necessarily say I was better," (Y/N) clarified after swallowing her food. "I just said you wouldn't catch the Snitch if I was playing against you."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at an uncharacteristically bashful Hank, who added, "You did say you'd be a better flyer though."

(Y/N) smiled and continued eating her breakfast, feeling no regret or need to deny that accusation.

"Ha!" Hank shouted, slapping the table. "Look at that smirk. I have all the faith in the world that this gem right here will be your downfall, Weasley."

"Well, we can't find out who's the better Quidditch player on the grounds," Scott said, making a point to pause and glare at Hank. "Because someone has horrible aim. But we can easily find out who the best flyer is."

That caught (Y/N)'s attention. She wasn't able to bring her broom from home and would give just about anything to ride on one.

"They would have to ride the same broom so it's fair," Hank said.

"I'll ride any broom you give me," (Y/N) said, feeling excitement bubble up in her stomach. Even though it had been less than two months, it felt like it had been ages since (Y/N) and her friend Rowan had soared around the Khanna family's farm on (Y/N)'s last day in America. The nostalgic knot hurled it's way back into (Y/N)'s stomach at the thought of Rowan, and she prayed someone would get her a broom. Flying was definitely what she needed.

"I believe we've got a coupl'a Nimbus 2008s up in the storage shed by Aro."

"Well, what are we waiting for then," Scott said, seizing Hank by the arm and lifting him to his feet. "We'll find the brooms and meet you kids by the entrance gate."

As Scott and Hank raced up the hill, (Y/N) and Charlie got to their feet, starting toward the entrance to the Sanctuary.

"Sure you wanna do this?"

(Y/N) grinned. "I just hope you're better at flying than you are at healing Norberta's tail." After a half hour explanation, Charlie still somehow managed to shrink the poor beast's tail instead of mending the wound, which made resizing it without enlarging the injury incredibly difficult.

Charlie's mouth dropped open, but (Y/N) could tell he wasn't actually offended. In fact, that playful grin she had only managed to glimpse once so far made an unexpected return. "Oh, you're going to regret that."

"Whatever you say, dragon boy."

Charlie's fiery red brows raised, and (Y/N) didn’t exactly know where that nickname came from, but she decided she liked it.

Scott and Hank took longer than expected, and (Y/N) found out why when Scott began explaining the rules.

“No, they have to go under that tree branch first and then over the pine tree with the red marker on it. Then they’ll go into the extreme dive, pull up no sooner than this blue marker right here, which gives them a straight shot to the landing up there where they have to loop-the-loop before dismounting. First to touch down wins. Sound good?”

(Y/N) nodded, taking a moment to observe the area the way she would a Quidditch pitch. She knew Charlie would likely be better at the extreme dive and pull up since he was a Seeker, but she had the under-and-over and loop-the-loop mastered from years of chasing after Bludgers.

“Ready?” Charlie asked as they each mounted their broomstick.

(Y/N) gripped the handle, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment and a slow exhale fall from her lips as she relaxed onto the broom. Boy was she ready. She glanced from the branch, to the pine tree, to the marker near the ground, to the landing and nodded. “Whenever you are.”

“On the count of three,” Scott announced, taking the job way more seriously than anyone else would have. “One… two… THREE!”

Charlie and (Y/N) kicked off the ground and shot into the air as cheers erupted behind them. Apparently Hank and Scott weren’t the only people wanting to see someone beat Charlie.

But (Y/N)’s mind was far from the crowd as fresh air filled her lungs and her hair whipped behind her. She felt like she was on cloud nine as she and Charlie swooped down to fly beneath the first branch, each switching off for the lead every second. One advantage (Y/N) had as a Beater was she was used to distractions. Seekers were primarily solo players, focused on catching the Snitch while the rest of the team watched their back. The two Beaters, on the other hand, not only protected their team but also created chaos for the other.

So (Y/N) attempted to fluster Charlie, mimicking every move he made within a mere foot of him. She could tell he wasn’t used to sharing his personal space on the broom when his eyes caught hers as they reached the top of the pine tree. Neither hesitated as they launched into the extreme dive, the only part (Y/N) felt less comfortable with. As she expected, Charlie executed the pull up flawlessly, showing off a little by how close to the ground he was willing to go. (Y/N)’s dive wasn’t as deep or graceful, but it was enough to hit the marker, sending her heart thudding in excitement as she began the loop-the-loop. While several wizards became dizzy and disoriented from the move, (Y/N) loved the drop in her stomach and the freeing effect it had. She had performed the tightest continuous loop of her Ilvermorny class and set out to do the same right now. She whipped passed Charlie on the final loop, flying out of it and dismounting on the landing effortlessly, touching down less than five seconds before Charlie did.

Once she was steady on her feet, (Y/N) exhaled again, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt as she stared down at the breathtaking scenery below.

“Bloody hell,” Charlie breathed, stepping beside her and brushing his ruffled hair from his face. “That was- I mean you were-”

(Y/N) laughed. Apparently flying could be added to the list of things that made Charlie’s guard slip. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

The corner of Charlie's mouth twitched and he looked as if he was about to say something else, but unfortunately their moment was cut short by the thunderous shouts approaching from Hank and Scott in the background.

“That was incredible,” Hank howled, coming up to clap (Y/N) on the back. “We’re all going to the pub tonight.

"Yeah," Scott chimed in. "Anything you want is on me.”

(Y/N) laughed again, keeping a firm grip on the broomstick in her hands. “The only thing I want is this broom."

“Sweetheart, I’m sure Felix will let you fly that broom anytime you want after a ride like that,” Hank reassured her.

(Y/N) suddenly wasn’t as fond of all the attention when she realized nearly every team had been watching her and Charlie- even the research team had decided to join them at the pub. (Y/N) felt overwhelmed from the excitement and chatter as everyone sat down and ordered drinks. She appreciated everyone’s compliments, but all she really wanted was to be back up on that landing, looking out at the Sanctuary.

Thinking of the landing sent (Y/N)’s gaze searching across the table for Charlie’s freckled face. He always sat across from her at the Sanctuary, so she was surprised to not find him there but rather in the seat right beside her. Her stomach did a loop-the-loop of its own as he smiled at her.

"Bet you didn’t thinking beating me would be this big of a deal," he said, leaning over to ensure (Y/N) could hear over the crowd.

A shiver trailed down (Y/N)’s neck, and she forced a laugh. “No, not quite.”

The redhead chuckled before taking a sip of his Butterbeer and clinking his glass against hers. “Well you deserve it. You were awesome out there.”

(Y/N) was grateful for the dim lighting as she felt her whole body grow hot. She took a final swig from her glass, giving her an excuse to get up for a minute. “I’m going to get another drink. Anyone need anything?”

(Y/N) was beyond surprised when Sydney stood up, a smile coating her smooth, tan face. “I’ll go with you. Dave and I need a refill too.”

Leaning against the bar, (Y/N) ordered another Butterbeer while Sydney ordered a shot of fire whiskey and some Pumpkin Juice.

“You were really amazing today,” Sydney said, picking up the tall glass of Pumpkin Juice the bartender set in front of her. “But can I give you some advice?”

(Y/N) stiffened, instantly uncomfortable by the tone of Sydney's voice. Confrontation was not one of (Y/N)’s strong suits. “Sure?”

The beautiful blond swirled her straw around the glass and looked down at the floor. She seemed nervous. “I just thought you should know you’re wasting your time.”

(Y/N) blinked at her, completely lost. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

Sydney frowned. “What I mean is we get it. I mean look at him. He’s attractive, successful. We’ve practically all had a crush on him at some point, but I just thought I should warn you before you get hurt. Charlie doesn’t date anyone. Like ever. Hell, at this point I think there would be more of a chance of finding him with a dragon than a woman.”

(Y/N) nearly knocked over the freshly filled glass of Butterbeer the bartender placed in front of her. "Excuse me?"

Sydney slid a tip across the table before turning back to (Y/N). "I just wanted to spare you some heartache because Charlie is obtuse and doesn't know when he's leading people on."

A spark of protectiveness for the redhead flared through (Y/N) so unexpectedly, she couldn't stop herself from saying, "I hardly think it's Charlie's fault if someone else can't take a hint."

The innocent glow in Sydney's blue eyes vanished faster than (Y/N) could say Nox. She straightened and grabbed the whiskey from the counter. “Suit yourself then. Don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.”

(Y/N) waited until Sydney walked away to return to her seat between Charlie and Hank. Her mind was attempting to organize a million thoughts at once and she suddenly felt exhausted.

What irked (Y/N) the most though was the gnawing thought at the back of her head asking why hadn't she just corrected Sydney? She should have brushed it off with a laugh and said she wasn't interested in anyone here like that.

“Everything alright?” Charlie asked, and as those brown eyes stared down at her, (Y/N) was not okay with the answer that voice in her head gave.

“Oh yeah,” (Y/N) said, rubbing a hand over her face. "Just ready to get some sleep soon."

"You're gonna need it because tomorrow we're getting three new rescues shipped in."

(Y/N) felt her thoughts untangle the slightest bit at this. Dragons. That's why she was here. And that was it.

[starlight-drive-in]

All My Life, for You - Ch. 1 - The Good Life

This chapter: Saeyoung Choi/MC (named), Saeyoung Choi/OC Later Chapters: Saeran Choi/OC, Saeran Choi/MC

Fic Description: Mi-Cha and Saeyoung have been happily married for 5 years and their lives have never been happier. The same could be said for Saeran who is now in a much healthier place than he was a few years ago. The twins are close once again, their lives are healthy and normal for the most part. It would seem the picture perfect happily ever after, if it weren't for the fact that someone who has been looking for them for a long time is about to make an unwelcome appearance.

Saeyoung has two things in this world he has sworn to protect, and nothing is going to stop him from keeping his promise this time.

Chapter Description: MC and the twin's are on vacation, enjoying some much needed time off. MC's name is Mi-Cha, Saeyoung calls her "MC" as a nick name because he's a huge dork. This first chapter is sickeningly sweet and definitely cheesy (don't worry things will get serious later) - but this is Seven and MC we are talking about. Also Saeran's a troll this chapter, but he's a soft boy inside.  AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19773562/chapters/46809151

In all his wildest dreams Saeyoung Choi never thought his life would be like this. Relaxing at the beach with the two people he cared the most about in the world? He was pretty sure he would never achieve something so amazing yet so simple as this.

If he was being honest with himself he never really thought about where his life would end up. Surely dead by the age of 25, either by the hands of the agency or by his father if he had ever answered the question honestly.

But that was before. Before her. Before the real truth came out. Before he found out about all the lies. Before he found out the one thing he was positive in accomplishing just seemed like an elaborate scheme out of some type of angsty day time drama made to make women swoon at all the tragic boys in it.

Well, that was all in the past now. He and Mi-Cha were about to celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary. He and Saeran were close again. Something hadn't thought was possible to ever achieve again. He wasn't involved in the agency anymore, they'd all but disappeared shortly after his and Vanderwood’s departure. Which was, of course, no fault of his own. No, not at all.

Everything was good now. More than just good he thought, watching Mi-Cha's hips roll back and forth as she waded into the ocean. Oh yea, God had blessed him indeed. He loses himself for a moment just admiring her shape, and the waves lapping at her skin. He bites his lip absentmindedly as he suddenly has a great urge to get back to the hotel.

“Isn’t it a sin or whatever to ogle a woman like that” He hears Saeran say through his fantasies, approaching from behind and plopping down on the towel next to Saeyoung.

Saeyoung’s mouth slacks in embarrassment at getting caught by his twin for just a moment before he retaliates. “Not when that woman is my wife. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it when you’re older”

“Ya know I was going to give you the other half of this ice cream but now, I don't think I will” It’s then that Saeyoung even notices said ice cream, just in time for Saeran to take a huge bite of the aforementioned other half.

“Aw maaaan you know that’s my favorite.”

“What a coincidence it’s mine too!” Searan gives a devilish grin, taunting his brother.

Saeyoung rolls onto his side “Waah you’re so mean, how could you leave your only brother to starve like that!

“Payback’s a bitch Saeyoung” Saeran responds, finishing off his snack.

Saeyoung immediately seises his dramatics and sits back up placing a hand on his brother's shoulder “Shit, Saeran I’m sorry.”

Saeran lets out a cackle. “You should see your face! Holy shit.” Quickly turning to hysterics in rolling laughter, assuming a similar position on the ground that his brother previously displayed. “I’m just fucking with you!”

Saeyoung’s mouth slacks again, this time in disbelief at Saeran’s dig at him. “You got me good that time.” He admits with a smile.

The two of them had been through a lot together, and not together. They had suffered enough hardships for multiple lifetimes. There were things Saeyoung would never forgive himself for. Some part of him hoped that Saeran would never fully forgive him either. But after drug withdrawals, suicide attempts, explanations upon explanations, written letters, failed joke attempts and enough ‘I'm sorries’ Saeyoung had quickly lost count, Saeran had finally warmed back up to him.

He started smiling again. The first time he laughed at one of Mi-Cha's jokes he almost cried. The first time he laughed at one of Saeyoung’s jokes he did cry. At first, Saeran had found Saeyoung’s jokes annoying, and no doubt still does but when the resentment for him had faded he discovered they had more in common than not. They both had a sort of dark sense of humor that the other one understood so deeply due to the fact that even after their separation they had still spent more than half their lives together.

Since then it's only gotten better. Saeran will dig at him like this every now and then but honestly? It doesn't bother Saeyoung in the slightest, it's nice to see his brother coping and recovering, and if that was how he wanted to do it then it was more than ok with him.

“Are you trying to kill your brother again?” Mi-Cha says, returning from her swim in the ocean and ringing out her hair.

“Sorry Mi-Cha, it’s a beloved pastime of mine.” Saeran shrugs, lying back on his towel, arms folded under his head.

“Nooooo, MC not you too!” Saeyoung latches onto her leg, pleading.

“I'm sorry babe, it was just too easy. You know Saeran loves you vewy much and would never try to hurt you.” then adds “again” through a muffled cough.

Saeran nods. “She’s got me there”

Saeyoung laughs despite the truth in their statements. “I love you guys,” he says earnestly “thank you for coming with me.” He says to his brother.

“You think I’d say ‘No’ to a week off of work? You know Jumin always gives me off if it involves spending time with you right?” Saeran answers.

“I'm sure it helped you got him his own room” Mi-Cha adds moving to sit next to Saeyoung.

“What, you think he doesn't want to hear what I'm going to do to you when that bikini comes off?” Saeyoung with a sly smile.

“Yup, time for more ice cream.” Saeran hops up on his feet to leave the couple to their own devices.

“Poor Saeran” Mi-Cha laments.

“Poor Saeran?! Poor Saeyoung! I'm the one that has to try to control myself around you, looking like” he paused gesturing to her body. “This, with all these people around.”

“Oh please!” She tickles him teasingly for just a fraction of a second causing his body to twist in reaction “You seem to fare well enough most of the time.” Mi-Cha teases.

“That's what you think, but God Seven is simply a master of self-control. Lesser men would have succumbed in mere seconds to your immense beauty.”

She giggles brightly, lightly bumping him with her shoulder. Saeyoung always had the most unique ways of making her feel special. “All Hail God Seven!” she says enthusiastically

“Now you’re getting it Babe!” he excitedly exclaims, throwing his arms around her shoulders and pulling her close.

“All Hail God Seven” they shout together before sharing a string of quick kisses in between fits of giggling. They remain oblivious as people around them look on curiously.

A few meters away Saeran rolls his eyes but smiles despite himself. His brother and sister-in-law are strange, but it’s hard not to find their love endearing.

--

A little while later the couple is back at the hotel alone, Saeran having gone on a hike to a nearby mountain summit to watch the sunset. Mi-Cha stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom attempting to brush the salt water tangles out of her hair. Saeyoung has taken post behind her lightly rubbing his hands down her sides, ‘admiring’ the way her dress hugs the curve of her hips. Mi-Cha pulls her hair to one side of her head and continues brushing. Saeyoung takes this as an opening and immediately begins placing kisses to her now exposed neck and shoulder.

Mi-Cha giggles “Sae, I’m going to end up smacking you with this brush on accident with you so close.”

“Then be done! Your hair looks good the way it is.” He says resting his head on her shoulder and looking at her in the mirror.

“It's still so tangled though. I just want to look good for our dinner tonight.” She huffs.

“Mission accomplished, you look beautiful as always.” He beams at her in the mirror again and squeezes her tightly from behind. “Here let me see” He offers, holding his hand out toward the brush. She hands it over. Within a few minutes, he has her hair all brushed out and even manages to get it into a loose side braid for her.

“I know it’s not great but-” he starts before being interrupted by her lips on his.

“It’s perfect, thank you Saeyoung” She smiles and wraps her arms around his waist. “I was getting really frustrated so that was a big help.”

He blushes, happy to help her and glad she liked his handiwork. "Anytime baby." He says swiftly leaning down to plant a kiss on her shoulder once more before holding her at arm's length and assessing her. "My beautiful wife, how on earth did I get so lucky?"

She smiles bashfully at him, even after all these years simple comments like that still make her feel like she's on the moon. "Pleasures all mine, Handsome." She replies, inching closer to him once again until their lips meet. It doesn't take long before Saeyoung is begging entrance to her mouth with a light swipe of his tongue, which she allows. A slight moan escapes him as their tongues dance together. His hands roam lower on her torso before grabbing at her backside softy, prompting her to break their kiss.

"Sae we can't, we have a dinner reservation remember?" She says, knowing what he was thinking.

"Let's cancel it" he pouts. "Oooo I know! I could hack the restaurant's system to swap our reservation with a later one!"

"And ruin some poor couples night?" She challenges him teasingly.

"Hmm ok, good point. I really do want to take you out. It's been a while since we've gone on a date, and you deserve it. Plus I think you'll really like this place."

She smiles up at him and ruffles his hair before kissing him one last time. "I'm going to get my shoes on and then we can head out?"

"Sound good." He nods.

She exits the bathroom and walks back into the room proper, going to find her shoes.

A few minutes later Saeyoung exits the bathroom, his bright red hair now side-parted and gelled. Despite his jokes earlier in the week that he’d wear “Hawian print dad shirts” all week, he dons a grey button up and pastel yellow bow tie with black slacks and suspenders.

Mi-Cha raises her eyebrow as her mouth drops open. “Whoa.” She says simply.

“Glasses?” Saeyoung says before removing his frames “Or no glasses?”

“Glasses or course, or do you not want to see me that badly?” She laughs.

“You know I have contacts, silly girl! I just don't wear them a lot because I stare at screens all day.”

“Doesn't seem to bother your brother.”

“I don't know how. And he says I’m the crazy one” He chuckles still pondering how Saeran can stand wearing contacts as much as he does, and colored ones at that.

Mi-Cha approaches her husband, taking his glasses from him and placing them back on his face. “Glasses.” she says decidedly “I’ve always loved your glasses. Besides, they match your outfit too well not to wear them.”

“And so it is decided! My brilliant wife has once again bestowed upon me her infinite wisdom and flattery!” he says dramatically.

She laughs. “Come, my most dapper husband, let us go to the place of dining!" Responding just as ridiculously, as she opens the door to their room so that they can leave.

-----

Thank you for reading! This will be my first multi chapter fic and I have big plans for it.

[onestowatch]

OTW Staff Picks: Our Favorite Songs of 2018 (So Far)

Throughout all of 2018’s faults, one thing remained true. Good music prevailed through all the murk and dejection of the year. After all, what is music’s purpose beyond providing a moment of escape, a respite from the world around us? It’s for this reason that we here at Ones To Watch wanted to share with you the songs that have affected us the most this year (so far). And in doing so we hope that you can find a moment of musical respite, as well as a new musical discovery. Here is to all the amazing music that 2018 has brought with it so far. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Still Woozy & ODIE – “Lucy”

When I think of 2018 in music, the emergence of “anti-pop” and continued growth of the urban sphere are two trends that immediately come to mind. This song not only combines the two, with Still Woozy’s groovy cuts and ODIE’s worldly rhymes, but it also does so in the most sonically pleasant, feel-good manner. It’s simply impossible not to bob your head and sing along to “Lucy” – highly recommended keeping this one high on the summer road trips, barbeques, and beach party playlists.  

-Yasmin Damoui (Content Editor, Ones To Watch)

Turnstile - "Moon"

Since I'm not quite sure I could pick my "favorite" song of 2018, because there are about 30 different songs I could pick here, I went ahead and chose a song I have probably listened to the most. Turnstile's "Moon" is perfect in so many ways. It's fast but not too fast. Heavy but not too over the top. It's catchy and, well, that might be it. The song is so damn infectious it just crawls into your head until you're singing ''Now there's nothing I can dooooo, Man up on the moooooon" for hours on end. Plus the video is pretty rad too!  

-Jimmy Smith (Content Editor, The Noise)

BROCKHAMPTON – “Tonya”

Following the recent removal of Ameer Vann after sexual misconduct allegations, a delayed album, and a canceled tour, the future of BROCKHAMPTON was looking uncertain, to say the least. The internet’s first boy band made a grand return with their late-night television debut on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, where they debuted “Tonya.” The somber track and captivating performance, featuring guest performances by serpentwithfeet, Ryan Beaty, and Jazmine Sullivan, signaled more than just an announcement of their forthcoming album, the best days of our lives. “Tonya” was a reaffirmation that through it all, BROCKHAMPTON remains one of the world’s most inventive and brilliant boy bands.

-Maxamillion Polo (Lead Writer, Ones To Watch)

Jorja Smith – “Lost & Found”

I’m old enough to call someone a generational talent and Jorja is just that, a throwback chanteuse with all the coaxing credentials of her predecessors. “Lost & Found” would hold up against any love-gone-delinquent song since the summer of ’79, and it’s an appropriate midyear benchmark for a year deep in songwriting excellence.

-David O’Connor (VP Artist Development, Live Nation)

Omar Apollo – “Erase”

Omar Apollo is getting ready to hit the spotlight. He’s a young multi-instrumentalist with a natural knack for soul and melody. In addition to his relatable lyrics on songs like “Erase", he’s going to be on everyone’s radar in a couple of months.

-Malcolm Gray (Social Media Manager, Live Nation; Writer, Ones To Watch)

Jay Prince – “In The Morning”

I want to start off by saying that I initially chose “Big Bank” by YG but figured that it wasn’t very Ones to Watch of me, so I’m going to go with Jay Prince’s “In The Morning.” The East London MC really lets his versatility shine on this groovy summer track, and I can’t help but sway my shoulders side to side and activate my trap arms whenever the beat kicks in. Everything just blends perfectly with Prince’s rapping and infectiously catchy hook over the afrobeat-inspired production. Ah, I can picture the beaches and pool parties. I can already taste the Modelo! OOOH WHEE!

-Green Lee (Social Media Coordinator, Ones To Watch)

Cloves – “Wasted Time”

Old habits die hard–and putting down the proverbial bottle is easier said than done, whatever that bottle is for each of us. “Wasted Time” is a poignant look at the pain of going back to a bad habit again and again. The rawness of her voice and stripped-down production mirror the sheer honesty of the song and her simple, unaffected lyrics. Feels.

-Alexa Schoenfeld (Junior Booker, Live Nation)

Mallrat – “Groceries”

There is an innate and profound simplicity in Mallrat’s “Groceries.” The melody, which sways between a delicate sense of ease and full-out dance-inducing jam, embodies the overarching feeling of effortless joy the song gives off. As the Brisbane artist sings about such seemingly modest things as grabbing groceries, spending time together, being in love, ensuing heartbreak, it’s hard not feel a sense of universality to it all. It’s a humbling and beautiful track, perfect for the summer.

-Jenna Singer (Artist Development Coordinator, Live Nation)

Rainbow Kitten Surprise – “Painkillers”

How To: Friend, Love, Freefall, the third and most recent album from indie rock outfit Rainbow Kitten Surprise, is occupied with an undeniable spirit and boldness, largely thanks to its impressive lyricism and genre-defying approach. While singles “Fever Pitch” and “Holy War” are terrific displays of that declaration, the true highlight comes in the form of the track, “Painkillers.” While melancholy and disheartenment resonate within this mellow tempo driven effort, it’s not merely a straightforward downer by any means. Frontman Sam Melo coos with an inviting and favorable gentleness throughout the course of the song. Moreover, the stunning sonic configuration and poignant yet browbeaten lyrics really stir the soul, no matter what state one may be in.

-Sean Kayden (Writer, Ones To Watch)

FRENSHIP – “Mi Amore”

Eighties pop meets seventies funk in FRENSHIP’s “MI Amore,” a bitingly honest homage to pursuing a dream in a cutthroat industry. A deliciously groovy bass line underscores the electronic fuzz and vibrant synth as the electropop duo sing, “Don’t come between mi amore,” for a sound that is altogether irresistible. The positively sizzling chorus is preceded by a flash of bitterness with the lyrics, “There’s a high price to pay for fame / Put the shame on you for your hollow ways.” This unyielding emotional honesty paired with refreshing sonic creativity is exactly what FRENSHIP does best, and why “MI Amore” deserves a spot on your summer playlist.

-Dana Jacobs (Writer, Ones To Watch)

The Night Game - “American Nights” 

My favorite song of the year so far is "American Nights" by The Night Game. I have a major soft spot for things that sound like ‘80s classic rock and The Eagles, plus Martin Johnson's song structures could not be more perfect. I can't wait for his forthcoming album, which comes out in September. "American Nights" is super reminiscent of "Born in the USA." It sounds magical, but the lyrics are a contrast to the actual struggles of American life, which makes it super relevant lyrically.

-Angie Piccirillo (Writer, Ones To Watch)

Chloe x Halle - “Everywhere”

Chloe x Halle are goddesses with their new album The Kids Are Alright. "Everywhere," a clear standout on the album, shows what the duo is capable of when they’re completely unrestrained. It is an anthem for boss ass bitches who work hard and do not let the haters get them down. The track is an excellent showcase of Chloe’s knack for production and demonstrates their versatility for a wide range of musical styles. Chloe X Halle proves that they’re more just their impressively gorgeous vocal harmonies."

-Jordan Grace (Writer, Ones To Watch)

What So Not – “Be Ok Again”

My favorite song from this year so far is probably What So Not’s “Be Ok Again.” Being one of my favorite producers, it’s really hard for me to choose a favorite song, but I loved the entire album that this song came from–Not All The Beautiful Things. I had seen him shortly before this album came out and had the chance to see a lot of the new music live, including this song. After hearing it live, it will always have a special place in my heart.

-Eden Kraus (Writer, Ones To Watch)

Joy Oladokun – “Sober”

My favorite song of the year, thus far, would have to be Joy Oladokun’s “Sober.” Ever since its release, I have not been able to get this brilliant gospel-soul infused tune out of my head. This track has everything I look for in a song–an infectious melody, relatable lyrics, and a unique lead vocalist. “Sober” marks the first release for Oladokun since 2016, and it is well worth the wait. The song is a soulful anthem for anyone who has gone through an addiction-fueled, unhealthy relationship and came out the other end with a clearer head. The repeated line, “Now that I'm sober my temperature's a little colder / I see it clearly now, I only fell for you ‘cause I was young, dumb and broken” is overwhelmingly real, and perfectly expresses the overall sentiment of the song. The lyrics and music are both sanguine in nature, reflecting the hope and revelations that come with time and personal growth. The musical elements of the song in combination with Oldaokun’s enticing sound makes “Sober” an instant add to any 2018 playlist.

-Jessica Thomas (Writer, Ones To Watch)