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#like basically all of the ingredients and the recipe are there
nonranghaes · 3 days
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it's weird that you don't call out to jun when he comes into your apartment. jun knows that you know he was coming over at some point to spend time with you, and usually you greet him in some way when you hear the apartment door unlock. he's a little earlier than he planned, but you told him to 'come over whenever' and now he's a little worried that you didn't mean it. he quietly slips into the pair of slippers that stays here at your place, and makes his way further into your apartment to set down the bag of groceries he brought on your kitchen counter. your bedroom door is open, but the tiny room you use as a home office is open just a sliver.
he makes his way over, leaning in to listen for a moment... only to hear your voice. there's a little strain to it as you struggle through a sentence, and it clicks all at once: you're speaking chinese. albeit not very well (it's clear to jun that this is one-hundred percent new to you), but you're still trying. your pronunciation is a bit clumsy, but he can hear the way you try to use the right tone with what you're saying...
when did you start learning this much? jun had taught you little things in the past--the absolute basics, really, plus a few other little phrases that veer into his own cheesy need to hear you say sweet things--but this...? he steps back from the door. why hadn't you told him? you could have told him and he'd happily help you learn. but he trusts you: you must have your reasons to keep this a secret, so he won't push. he steps away, deciding to busy himself with getting ingredients put away--or set up for the two of you to cook together, in case you're hungry now.
then he knocks a cup into the sink, and immediately he hears you coming out of your office. relief crosses your face when you see it's just jun, and you lean against the open doorway.
"i didn't know you were here." you pause, and then he sees you get hit with realization. "... how long were you here?"
"i just got here," he says. it's technically the truth, isn't it? he's only been here for a few minutes. "were you working?"
you nod. "yeah. just had to answer a phone call," you lie to him, but he just nods and acts like he doesn't know that. you come up to his side, wrapping an arm around him. "is this for lunch?"
he leans over to you and presses a kiss against your cheek. "are you hungry?"
"mhm," you just snuggle in for a moment, enjoying his presence. "you should teach me more recipes you learned from your mom sometime."
jun finds himself smiling already. was that what this all was...? an attempt for you to understand him better? to show that you care for him so much that you want to know his culture, too? "i'd love to," he says softly, and wraps an arm around you to tug you closer to his side. "only if you teach me things you learned from your family, too."
then he'll make more efforts to understand you and your background, too. just to show you that he loves you as much as you love him.
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theoutcastrogue · 16 hours
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I need to share this. (@st-just : hearty gruel alert!)
Red lentils. Boil them in a pot all by themselves, with salt, until soft. Skim the Bad Foam (or first wash them many times, until the water's clear). Set them aside.
Take a big skillet, and sauté in medium heat garlic with cumin, coriander seeds, mustard seeds, and ginger. Grate a tomato in there (or however you add tomato in sauces), add fresh parsley or coriander, and stir.
Drop in the red lentils with water, tumeric, lemon juice, AND TAHINI. Mix them together, let them cook for a few minutes more, stir until done. Adjust texture to taste basically, it's up to you if you'll eat with a fork or with a spoon.
Now serve. In the middle of the gruel, plop a spoonful of strained yoghurt, and slice some raw red onion around it. Drizzle some olive oil/lemon on top. Ready? CHARGE.
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hot lentils (sans parsley, I was out) served in gruel form, a hearty meal for 1
Numbers (approximate), for 2 people
pot:
200 gr red lentils
7 minutes boiling
salt to taste
skillet:
2 cloves of garlic
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon mustard seeds
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger [I don't actually KNOW numbers for the spices, I'm eyeballing this; do what you will]
1 big tomato
salt and pepper to taste
+2 minutes stirring
skillet with the lentils:
~1/2 cup water (IF you've strained the lentils; I empty most but not all of the water from the pot, and then unceremoniously plop the whole thing in there)
1 teaspoon tumeric
4 tablespoons tahini
1/2 lemon
8 minutes cooking total
per serving:
1 hefty tablespoon yoghurt
1/2 small red onion
olive oil and lemon to taste
Feel free to play around with spices and seasoning. The only essential ingredients are the lentils, oil+tomato+cumin, and tahini+lemon.
It's completely feasible with brown lentils, except they take longer to boil. Basically this recipe combines the standard "brown lentils + tahini" with "red lentils + a bunch of spices".
If you have iron deficiency, the dairy will inhibit the iron absorption from the lentils, so either skip the yoghurt, or decide you're eating this because it's delicious, and not because it's good for your blood.
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cold lentils ~8 hours later, now in spread-ish form, kinda like hummus. reheating not necessary, fantastic mezze for 2. lasts in the fridge for 3-4 days (just let it out to acquire room temperature first, and serve with yoghurt and onions again).
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yourqueenb · 5 months
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Thank you for your answer, and thank you for putting so much thought into that 💞💞💞 mal and nia are my main LIs and at first I was really glad that at least two members of the party stayed with each other and mb even got closer but I can see how it would be annoying and/or sad for people who romance one of them exclusively. I think that I mostly just want to see eeal bonds between our party bc idk it just feels a bit hollow? In the first book they were just thrown together by chance but a whole year has passed and without MC there to hold them together it just shows how much less there is with exception of some banter and general sympathy towards one another. I also think that excluding Threep and other non-romancable characters from the main friend group makes most of the dynamic in choices hollow bc lmao all these people are here to try and fuck us and no one cares about each other beyond that. I don't really like TRR or TF but I feel like friendship was so much richer in previous books, like those two series, OH and TE - and in PM they managed to create a poly route where I could feel solid platonic bonds between people other than MC and LIs (Sloane and Hayden, Steve and Hayden or Damien and Nadia). Or mb I'm just a bit underwhelmed with the current plot course in blades lmao (sorry for rambling around the same three thoughts I just can't seem to gather my thoughts on this whole thing together 🫡)
I’m so sorry, I meant to respond to this sooner. But no, I completely get what you’re saying! You made some good points.
Even though all of these characters were kind of thrown together in book 1, personally I did feel like they were more like a family by the end of it. And I think that’s one of the reasons why everyone loved Blades so much. However, I do understand why the bonds aren’t as tight in this book. It makes sense for there to be some distance between everyone after what happened to MC and the apparent strife it caused. But I feel like they haven’t done enough to fully bring the group back together again and reform those poignant emotional bonds.
As you basically said with the exception of some banter and general sympathy towards one another, pretty much all of the focus is on each member’s relationship with MC alone. And even those relationships are very one sided with each person relying on MC for support, but not giving much in return. When the main cast is tied together by genuine relationships with each other rather than simply all waiting for their turns in MC’s bed, it’s really great to see and makes for a better book overall. That’s why the Pend Pals are still my personal favorite friend group to this day.
I will say that I actually don’t feel like the relationship dynamics in Blades specifically are hollow because everyone’s trying to sleep with MC though. And maybe that’s because I’m only romancing Mal (and flirting with Aerin on the side). But yeah, I think it’s because the writers have really been ignoring the opportunities to capitalize off of emotional beats (which I’ve said a few times before) rather than the characters just not having more to their relationships at all
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#choices stories you play#playchoices#like basically all of the ingredients and the recipe are there#but the writers are skipping over important steps to finish faster#and we all know that makes for a disappointing meal#also I wouldn’t be hurt if our friends had gotten closer while MC was gone and leaned on each other for support#regardless of who it was and who I’m romancing#it’s more so that I’m hurt because Mal’s been so distant already#and then on top of that he’s running this orphanage with Nia#which is a huge thing considering his background#and idk I guess I just thought that that was something he’d want to include MC in if you’re romancing him#and that it would be a little harder for him to move forward with it without her#yet he up and does this within a year of MC being gone after mere weeks of searching#but I guess the thought process was just life is short so you shouldn’t wait#since he thought she was dead and all#but it still hurts#so that’s why I think it would be even more hurtful for me personally if Mal was the one who knew Nia’s secret and kept it from everyone#especially after the ‘you slept through it’ comment#but yeah anyway I started typing up my response to this shortly after responding to your first ask#and then never got back to it 🤦🏽‍♀️#mostly because I didn’t know if I was gonna type a novel again and I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and do that lol#so it’s been sitting partially finished in my drafts for a minute 😭#but I’m glad it didn’t get crazy long again#choices#choices app#choices ask
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murcielagatito · 1 year
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fellas is it gay to be the manager of a superstar idol whos slowly falling out of trends bc the industry is evil and fucked up and hates when women show any signs of not being 20yo anymore and you can literally not say no to her even though its literally your job so you make sure she doesnt like accidentally hurt herself so yall go on this wild ass adventure to help her make a song that she doesnt even wanna make for december so her ass doesnt get dropped from the label and then you think shes falling in love with this dad but turns out she literally just was trying to write this song so you think like perhaps theres hope after all except you also think she only sees you as a manager bc yall kissed that one time years ago but never spoke about it again bc yall were both drunk but she literally loves you and when yall get drunk she carries you up the stairs and gets you in bed as best she can bc shes a twig of a woman but that didnt stop her from making sure you made it to bed and youre like basically her only friend and the lines blurred so long ago that you cant remember anymore when you stopped caring about her strictly as a manager/idol and now care about her as so much more?
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nomaishuttle · 5 months
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my worst trait in my life is that if there is any task i hsve to do st all either for seriousness or for funsies i will legit slways say Wellll i have to make s spreadsheet abt this. sighing looking st my apartment purchases spreadsheet and at the blank spreadsheet that will become my apartment hunting spreadsheet and ar my spreadsheet for every single game ive ever played
#idm to brag to you guys but my sdv spreadsheet is so spectacular. i havent played in a while but i slayed it kinda rly hard.#i should make a blank version of it 4 if anybody wants it... it consists of likee. oh it hss come to pass i have in fact made a blank sdv#spreadsheet...#at least i think i have. the checklist page might be missing some things but i dont wanna go through and check. the list. lol.#but anyways as i was saying it consists of 5 subsheets soo its got like a mods section for listing mods with links 2 their posts for easy#updates etc. and then a checklidt of all the items you need to complete every collection + all the bundles + i dont think ive added in the#ones for quests yet (like repairing the bridge or the boat or getting jodi a starfruit or whatever) but if i ever get bsck into sdv i may#add thise. but rn its just for every collection (including cooking so it has all the ingredients you need for each recipe)#n thenn theres a sheet to list all your animals with their names n everything n what coop/barn theyre in#n then one with every single event + requirements and how to access it bc sometimes#they r so specific and i will judt forget i havent seen them or whatever. n then i just have a calendar with every birthday and holiday on#it which i personslly use to track wedding anniversaries/kids birthdays.. since i play with the mod where you cn marry multiple ppl i like#to be able to plan my weddings in advance#basically its like a rly good sheet i kjnd of slayed eith it#some of it i do need 2 change bc it is specific to. the mods i play with just some of the like. smaller stuff#like i use a mod that renames the luau into the potluck and rethemes it to be less. Of the devil.. so on my calendar i list it as the#potluck etc which if i actually wanted to share it id have 2 edit that but also i think everybody should play with that mod bc its rly msde#wellmade i meant. originally the sheet was just to track all my mods bc i use umm. hold on#99 mods... but only 75 of those are actual fun mods the other 24 are just dependencies and stuff.
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i really want some cookies or muffins but even if i had the energy to make them i can't because we live in an actively hostile society where butter costs 7 bucks a stick if you dont want palm oil in it, so i have to make the one i have last until it goes on sale IF it goes on sale.
i cant even get premade stuff from the bakery because i live in a city and there are none outside of the grocery store that put who knows what in their recipes, all of which make me sick if i eat the quantity id really like to.
can i substitute ingredients? no because im fucking disabled and allergic to soy and sensitive to oils. the fact premade things are now cheaper (clothing, food, anything) than getting to supplies to make things yourself is pure ablelism and false scarcity and even if its not outright killing us it IS making life unpleasant and difficult. even if our diets and lifestyles arent an able persons definition of healthy, we arent even allowed to try to do better for ourselves and im speaking as someone whos mum pays for groceries since we live on the same property, i cant imagine how much worse people on disability income have it
#ableism#disabilities#disabled#ibs#fibromyalgia#dietary restrictions#ssi#odsp#disability support#palm oil isnt even a food grade oil and its in butter or fed to cows and fucking rips my insides out#and im already sensitive to dairy unless its butter due to the processes in making it#but i have to be so careful that it comes from a good clean farm with healthy animals#this brand is reletively local but its still so expensive because they dont feed any of that shit to the animals and the packages never say#anything about whats fed to the animals or if its bulked up with palm oil but you can feel it cause anything with palm oil feels more solid#and its disgusting it tastes different too. and all i want is some oatmeal muffins#im starving i dont have a full kitchen so i basically live on bread cereal which im also low on because theres a shortage and chicken#which is disgusting and just ..not real chicken cause the brand i like discontinued their best breaded chicken breasts years ago#and the bread i have to eat i either have to make with flour thats fucking expensive as hell and pray i dont run out of yeast#or my mum has to drive two cities over to an independent bakery that uses pretty much the same recipe i do#but even if i could afford the ingredients i dont always have the energy and rn i DEFINITELY dont have an oven unless i want to haul all#my stuff upstairs and hope the gas oven doesnt fuck up and catch fire because thats just my life#im starving all the time and i dont want to be and i dont even have to be if my gut isnt already shredded#but we live in a world that would rather kill us than help anyone at all let alone dosabled folks#i also live in the worst fucking province after nb and quebec#its the most expensive part of canada even compared to bc which.. ......its fucked up considering they USED to be the most costly#but anyway i wake up and go to sleep hungry because i cant drive so i have to make sure i dont run out of the food i DO have and CAN eat#if my mum isnt dping a grocery run that day#dont ask me when the last time i bought salt was#that box is getting real low#but yeah im sick of living here and this world already hated me before i got this sick and i hope it all burns itself to ash 😌
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imwritesometimes · 14 days
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waiting to see if my cake experiment turns out ok like dr Frankenstein waiting to see if his creature would come to life....
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kai-wanted-doa · 6 months
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I made apple scones with sliced apple in them and mixed in biscoff for that extra special sweetness and OMGGGGGGGGGG ITS SOOOOOO GOOOOOOD but it's not just my recipe, I bought some apple butter from a farm called Boa Vista in Apple Hill AND THIS SHIT IS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I spread this on my warmed up apple scone and ✨️🍂 🍁🍂✨️🍁🍂✨️
It's too good it's too good it's too good
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magz · 3 months
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[ Original Twitter Thread by @/beelektra ] - Not by Magz, am not Palestinian
Palestinian Foods. (long post)
Quote:
"🧵 Thread of Palestinian desserts I've grown up around and seen A thing I'd like to add is that I just like to share my culture! I do not want to spread the narrative that our culture is dying, I only want people to see our foods and traditions 🇵🇸
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"As mentioned in the last post, we have knafeh (or kunafa), a buttery dessert made with shredded pastry layers such as cheese and other ingredients like pistacho or cream!"
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"Burbara; which comes from Saint Barbara, fun fact! It's a soup dessert that mainly consists of barley, licorice spices, anise, cinnamon, and fennel powder This is a dessert usually many Christian families have to celebrate Saint Barbara, which is December 4th!"
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"Malban, which resembles a fruit jelly! Made from starch and sugar Specifically, it's made with grape molasses, thickened with starch and flavored with rose water, and stuffed with almonds (or other nuts including walnuts, treenuts, and peanuts)"
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"Khabeesa is simply just a pudding made with grapes, but you prepare it by mixing the grape juice with semolina and nuts + seeds."
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"Mtabbak or mtabba, a crispy dough stuffed with crushed walnuts. It also contains cinnamon, sugar, and syrup. Photo credits go to Bartek Kieżun on Instagram"
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"Tamriyeh, a fried pastry filled with semolina pudding, scenter with mastic and orange blossom water, and topped off with powdered sugar"
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"Ka'ak bi Tamer, which are date paste filled cookies with cinnamon! A dessert made for Eid-Alfitr. It's topped with nigella seeds, and the cinnamon-spiced date paste is the most important part of it all– you can eat it on its own or have it with coffee"
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"+ Ka'ak Asawer, another dessert that can be prepared for Eid-Alfitr. It's translated to bracelet cookies, and they use date paste, flour, anise seeds, sugar, ground cinnamon, and olive oil"
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"Muhallebi or mahalabia, a milk pudding that's made with sugar, corn starch, and fragrant flavorings! It's topped off with nuts, pistachos, and almonds and sprinkled with ground cinnamon or shredded coconut"
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"Rice pudding, which is a common dessert in Palestine, and it's your choice to top it off with nuts or not"
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"Stuffed dates, using medjool dates and cracking them open to be stuffed with goat cheese and pistachios– but you're free to add anything else"
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"Ma'amoul, a buttery crisp cookie primarily made of farina and can be stuffed with (spiced) dates, walnuts, or pistachios. This is another Christian dessert made by Palestinian mothers during the week of Easter Sunday."
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"Halawit Smid, a farina based dessert with added sugar and unsalted cheese. It's preferably served fresh"
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"Namoura cake, aka harissa dessert! It's made with semolina or farina flour, and then topped off with syrup once baked"
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"Qatayef, which is eaten during the month of Ramadan. It's made of farina, flour, water, and yeast blended together– the process is pretty similiar to making pancakes, but only one side is cooked"
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"Since I've mentioned using zaatar for a lot of things, I recently just discovered this but– there's also things such as zaatar cookies!! It's just as implied that the cookies are filled with zaatar, I'd be so willing to make this on my own"
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"Baklava, made from phyllo pastry dough, butter, nuts, basil, and a sweet honey syrup"
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"Aish el saraya, arabic version of a bread pudding. It's basically a layered bread, where it starts from the bottom, then covered with a sweet syrup, cream, and crumbled pistachios."
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"Awwami, it's defined as "crisp donut ball" in English. It's a deep fried dough ball coated with sesame seeds, and dipped in cold syrup water."
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"Halawet el Jibn, a sweet cheese dessert rolled with custard, heavy cream, drizzled rose water + syrup, and garnished with nuts."
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"Lastly, I'd like to add watermelon and cheese– for me, it's like,,,, bittersweet!!! You should totally try it and we also have this during Ramadan"
"Well, that's all I can think of for Palestinian desserts! Here's the first part for general foods, I know I did make a promise for part two
I hope you guys liked this thread, and if you have any opinions please feel free to quote tweet anything on here if I made a mistake, feel free to correct me, it's always appreciated P.S if you're a zionist commenting here I really don't care, just scroll, I'm sharing my culture
One LAST thing. if you want any of the recipes from here, check out this website, the creator (Wafa) shares so many wonderful traditional Palestinian dishes."
[End Quote]
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headspace-hotel · 5 months
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I will write this thought about Veganism and Classism in the USA in another post so as to not derail the other thread:
There are comments in the notes that say meat is only cheaper than plant based foods because of subsidies artificially lowering the price of meat in the United States. This is...part of the story but not all of it.
For my animal agriculture lab we went to a butcher shop and watched the butcher cut up a pig into various cuts of meat. I have had to study quite a bit about the meat industry in that class. This has been the first time I fully realized how strongly the meat on a single animal is divided up by socioeconomic class.
Like yes, meat cumulatively takes more natural resources to create and thus should be more expensive, but once that animal is cut apart, it is divided up between rich and poor based on how good to eat the parts are. I was really shocked at watching this process and seeing just how clean and crisp an indicator of class this is.
Specifically, the types of meat I'm most familiar with are traditionally "waste" parts left over once the desirable parts are gone. For example, beef brisket is the dangly, floppy bit on the front of a cow's neck. Pork spareribs are the part of the ribcage that's barely got anything on it.
And that stuff is a tier above the "meat" that is most of what poor people eat: sausage, hot dogs, bologna, other heavily processed meat products that are essentially made up of all the scraps from the carcass that can't go into the "cuts" of meat. Where my mom comes from in North Carolina, you can buy "livermush" which is a processed meat product made up of a mixture of liver and a bunch of random body parts ground up and congealed together. There's also "head cheese" (made of parts of the pig's head) and pickled pigs' feet and chitlin's (that's made of intestines iirc) and cracklin's (basically crispy fried pig skin) and probably a bunch of stuff i'm forgetting. A lot of traditional Southern cooking uses basically scraps of animal ingredients to stretch across multiple meals, like putting pork fat in beans or saving bacon grease for gravy or the like.
So another dysfunctional thing about our food system, is that instead of people of each socioeconomic class eating a certain number of animals, every individual animal is basically divided up along class lines, with the poorest people eating the scraps no one else will eat (oftentimes heavily processed in a way that makes it incredibly unhealthy).
Even the 70% lean ground beef is made by injecting extra leftover fat back into the ground-up meat because the extra fat is undesirable on the "better" cuts. (Gross!)
I've made, or eaten, many a recipe where the only thing that makes it non-vegan is the chicken broth. Chicken broth, just leftover chicken bones and cartilage rendered and boiled down in water? How much is that "driving demand" for meat, when it's basically a byproduct?
That class really made me twist my brain around about the idea of abstaining from animal products as a way to deprive the industry of profits. Nobody eats "X number of cows, pigs, chickens in a lifetime" because depending on the socioeconomic class, they're eating different parts of the animal, splitting it with someone richer or poorer than they are. If a bunch of people who only ate processed meats anyway abstained, that wouldn't equal "saving" X number of animals, it would just mean the scraps and byproducts from a bunch of people's steaks or pork chops would have something different happen to them.
The other major relevant conclusion I got from that class, was that animal agriculture is so dominant because of monoculture. People think it's animal agriculture vs. plant agriculture (or plants used for human consumption vs. using them to feed livestock), but from capitalism's point of view, feeding animals corn is just another way to use corn to generate profits.
People think we could feed the world by using the grain fed to animals to feed humans, but...the grain fed to animals, is not actually a viable diet for the human population, because it's literally just corn and soybean. Like animal agriculture is used to give some semblance of variety to the consumer's diet in a system that is almost totally dominated by like 3 monocrops.
Do y'all have any idea how much of the American diet is just corn?!?! Corn starch, corn syrup, corn this, corn that, processed into the appearance of variety. And chickens and pigs are just another way to process corn. That's basically why we have them, because they can eat our corn. It's a total disaster.
And it's even worse because almost all the USA's plant foods that aren't the giant industrial monocrops maintained by pesticides and machines, are harvested and cared for by undocumented migrant workers that get abused and mistreated and can't say anything because their boss will tattle on them to ICE.
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rabbitrah · 1 year
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A continuation on my post about unloved foods, specifically this is my in-depth defense of root beer.
Root Beer isn't inherently gross, it's just one of those weird local flavors that's off-putting to people who didn't grow up with it. We all like different things and also we all tend to like flavors that are similar to what we grew up with. That's okay! But honestly root beer is pretty unique and, in my opinion, delicious.
One of the main complaints against root beer is that it tastes like medicine. Funnily enough, it was originally marketed as medicinal! This is true for most OG sodas actually. Pretty much as soon as carbonated water was invented, people were drinking it to soothe various ailments. A lot of the original soft drinks were actually invented by pharmacists. I just think that root beer is especially cool because the main flavor came from the root bark of sassafras, a common North American shrub. Because it's so widespread and aromatic, all parts of the sassafras plant have been used in food and medicine by many different Native American tribes throughout history and was subsequently picked up and used by European colonists. In the 1960s, some studies indicated that that safrole oil, which is produced by the plant, can cause liver damage. Whether or not this would actually remain true after it had been boiled and added to root beer is unclear, but it was really easy to replicate the flavor, so the sassafras in commercial root beer these days is artificial. Another fun fact about safrole is that it's a precursor in the synthesis of MDMA. None of this information has stopped my childhood habit of eating sassfras leaves right off the shrub whenever I walk past it on a hike. I'm like 85% sure it's safe and also mmmm yummy leafs go crunch.
Another root beer complaint is that it tastes like toothpaste. I think this is probably because another key flavor in most root beer recipes is wintergreen. I'm assuming that the people who think this are the same people who think mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste. I can understand and even respect that some people don't like mint and associate it only with brushing their teeth, but like. Mint is a pretty common flavor. I mean I think it's safe to say that humans have been eating mint flavored stuff for longer than toothpaste has existed... anyway!
Other common flavors in root beer (real or artificial) are caramel, vanilla, black cherry bark, sarsaparilla root, ginger, and many more! There's not one official recipe, and root beer enthusiasts often have strong opinions about different brands. Some root beer is sharper, with more strong aromatic flavors, and others are mild and creamier.
Another thing I think is cool about root beer is that it's foamier than most sodas. This was originally because sassafras is a natural surfactant (and why sassafras is also a common thickening agent in Louisiana Creole cooking.) These days, other plant starches or similar ingredients are added to keep the distinctive foam. Root beer foam > all other soft drink foams. That's why root beer floats kick more ass than like, coke floats.
If you've never had root beer before, imagine if a sweetened herbal tea was turned into a soda, because that's basically what it is. If your first response to that is a cringe, fair enough. That's why lots of people don't like it. If your first response to that is "interesting... I might actually like it, though" then I encourage you to track down a can of root beer today, hard as that might be outside the US and Canada. Next time you see an "ew, root beer tastes like medicine/tooth paste" take, know that there's a reason for that, but also the same could be said for literally any herbal or minty food/drink.
My final take on root beer is that it would be the soda of choice for gnomes. Thank you and good night.
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kcrossvine-art · 12 days
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haiiii dungeon delvers! This is a quick one, gratefully both the materials and the dish-type are very close to their real life inspiration :D
As we speak, my favorite catgirl bestfolk is getting introduced to the anime and you haven no idea how much self control its taken to not immediately jump forward to be in sync with her, but theres SO many good recipes before we get there!!!
We will be making a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet today!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes into a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet?” YOU MIGHT ASKIts made from the egg of a basilisk, which isnt a large chicken egg but instead a large snake egg. Oblong shape, soft leather texture, and no eggwhites just yolk.
A large daikon
½ lbs fatty bacon
Shallots
Garlic
Chicken eggs
Salt
Pepper
Arugula (for garnishing)
OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)
You could try cooking this using actual snake eggs, but theyre hard to come by and reportedly quite bland compared to chicken eggs. I tried getting my hands on an ostrich egg for the pizzaz of it all. The zoo lady was kind in her dismissal.
AND, “what does a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKOmelettes are standard fair but here we cook them like a french omelette and wrap it up like a burrito at the end.
Wetter eggs than im used to ( <- american)
Daikon and bacon r very tasty together
They end up having the same texture almost
Intensely savory. Heavy on the tummy
Chopped green onions would bring more levity to the filling
Ketchup pairs well
(but i prefer medium hot sauce)
Dark coffee pairs well
The acidity of the above 3 is what makes them work with this nutrient Dense dish
. In the show, decapitated mandrakes are more bitter than mandrakes left 'whole'. If you want that difference, using sweet/sour sauce on some of the daikon while it cooks will make the non-sauced daikon seem bitter by comparison. . Maybe ferment daikon too? . Adding a small amount of water with the bacon transfers the heat evenly, a small amount as to cook off before the fat/grease renders. Could also try cooking in the oven.
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"Consisting of a fluffy Basilisk egg omelet filled with minced Basilisk bacon and mandrake.If the mandrake used was killed with its 'head' still attached, it will be less bitter and more mellow" This dish is important as it marks the beginning of Senshi and Marcilles bonding, and the lead-up gives us our first glance into the school Falin and Marcille met at. Objectively the recipe is basic but it was challenging to write out.
Omelette making is muscle-memory, so having to learn the french variation and slow down felt like trying to ride a bike side-saddled.
It took about an hour and a half from laying out the ingredients, to eating the finished thing. I had to take a break in the middle of cutting veggies as my wrists are flaring up, so you could probably go faster unimpeded.
What would you rate this recipe out of 10?(with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
1 large daikon, chopped
½ lbs fatty bacon, chopped
2 shallots
3 cloves of garlic
3 Eggs
Salt
Pepper
Some arugula (for garnishing)
OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)
Method:
Chop your bacon into roughly ½ inch squares. Cut off the ends of your daikon and cube the rest. Thinly dice your shallots and crush your garlic cloves.
Bring a cast iron skillet to medium-high heat. Once at temp, carefully add your chopped bacon to the pan with a very small amount of water.
Add your chopped bacon and stir-fry until almost cooked.
Add your shallots and garlic. Cook for about a minute or until the shallots have softened.
Transfer the bacon, shallot, and garlic mix to a bowl. Set aside. Lower the cast iron skillet to medium heat.
Place your daikon cubes in the cast iron skillet, you should still have enough bacon grease. Add salt and cook until lightly browned on each side.
Add roughly 1 tablespoon of water. Lower heat and cover. Simmer for 2 minutes.
Once your daikon are softened, transfer to same bowl containing your bacon, shallots, and garlic.
Crack your eggs into a seperate bowl and whisk for 2 minutes until 'frothy' with no egg whites visible.
Bring the cast iron skillet back up to medium heat. There might not be enough bacon grease left, so feel free to add butter! If the butter browns you've gone too hot.
Pour your eggs into the skillet. Use a spatula to spread the eggs, scraping down the sides of the pan. Sprinkle salt and pepper in, to taste.
Once your eggs are mostly solid, pour the bacon, shallot, garlic, and daikon filling into the center. If it starts to separate- stop touching and let it rest. Gently fold the edges of the omelette overtop the filling.
Lay a few pieces of arugula on a plate, and flip your omelette onto it :) enjoy!
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hells-wasabii · 1 month
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How would each of the Hell characters(Hotel group, Lucifer, Overlords, Vees) do while cooking entirely on their own? Can be platonic or romantic, whichever you want
A/N: So I know I said 2, but the other one isn’t ready yet I’m still writing it. It’s gonna be pretty big too since it’s that velvette part 2. But I had to get my cat spayed today so I’ve been super busy all day keeping her out of trouble and from hurting herself :/ but anywho, enjoy!
Characters: All that I write for
Type: Hesdcanons (hazbin cast cooking headcanons)
Charlie
With Charlie, I’m a little torn. On the one hand, she’s a princess, so cooking would likely be more of a novelty considering she likely had staff to do it for her. But this is Charlie we’re talking about. She would go out of her way to learn how to cook. Wouldn’t give up either, not until she could do it on her own. I would imagine that she started learning from Vaggie and reading cookbooks.
Vaggie
When it comes to Vaggie, she can cook some, but she’s definitely super humble about it, brushing off any compliments because it’s ‘just food’. If the issue is pressed I can see her getting a little embarrassed about it. It’s mostly dishes that she had been taught while she was growing up, along with basic dishes that don’t necessarily require a honed skill to make.
Angel
Angel can cook, though he doesn’t exactly put much effort into it. I can definitely see him just throwing something together so he can eat and move on with whatever else he has going. Baking is a different story. I can really imagine while he was growing up he would sneak his way into the kitchen while his mother and Molly were baking. He picked it up pretty easily. And as someone who enjoys baking let me just say that his extra set of arms would be so helpful.
Husk
Husk was an entertainer in life, growing up in a casino, learning the trades in the house. That also includes the kitchens. Sure he likely didn’t spend a whole lot of time there but he still picked up a thing or two. So he’d be able to hold his own fairly well when it comes to making a homecooked meal.
Alastor
While it’s canon that the radio demon can cook, I feel like he specifically likes to cook recipes his mother left behind. Cooking recipes from his youth reminds him of joining his mother in the kitchen whipping something up for lunch and helping her prep for dinner. He’s not all that adventurous in the kitchen, though. He likes to stick with what he knows and what he grew up with.
Niffty
Having died in the 50s as a young housewife, I genuinely believe that she at least knows some fad recipes, like those salads and casserole recipes. Jello molds too. But that’s not to say that she wouldn’t know some basic stuff. I can definitely see Niffty being the type to try to create whole new recipes with varying, mostly horrifying results.
Sir Pentious
Sir Pentious is a genius, there’s no doubt about that, but the man can’t cook. At all. He’d burn water honestly. But baking? Oh yeah, he can bake with out a doubt(but not necessarily the decorating part), it’s basically science, but not cook. He’d quite honestly have the Egg Bois help, but let’s be honest here, that’d be a disaster too.
Cherri Bomb
I’ll admit, I wasn’t to sure about Cherri. She just doesn’t seem like the type to cook. Nah. Cherri is the queen of takeout. She can boil water but that’s really about it. Honestly, she’s only really a couple of steps above Sir Pentious, but she can’t bake either. Sometimes though, before Angel went off to the hotel, she would go out and buy ingredients and stuff and go to his apartment and they (he) would make something.
Vox
This man absolutely can cook, and he’s pretty damn good at it too. Considering he’s the television demon, he’s going to have several cooking shows. Hell, he even stars in a couple of them. That being said, he’s not one to do things half-assed. Sure, a lot of cooking shows have stuff that was prepared beforehand, but with Vox’s he goes out of his way to actually make the dishes in real time.
Valentino
I stand by my headcanons from my Valentino posts. He can cook, but it’s honestly a solid 50-50 on whether or not it’s burnt or edible. He’s pretty easily distracted, whether it’s a phone call or something else entirely, so if it's a dish that you have to pay close attention to, it’s likely to not turn out right.
Velvette
Velvette can do some light cooking, but nothing too extravagant. She’s got more important things to do, such as keeping Vox and Valentino on track. With a schedule as busy as hers, I don’t think she would cook often, preferring either Vox’s cooking or takeout. Oh but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t take a picture and post it, because it’s Velvette, of course she does. Oh! But She’s probably been on Vox’s show as some sort of celeb guest type deal, the dish they made definitely stuck with her, so she might make it from time to time.
Zestial
Considering how long Zestial has been around, I would be more surprised if he couldn’t cook. You can’t convince me that after a while he at one point went through hobbies like a revolving door. Cooking absolutely would have been one of them. This man would absolutely try making the craziest things. He’d be up to date on all of the cooking fads, know recipes and cooking methods from several time periods and cultures. With him, there’s no telling what he might cook up next.
Carmilla
While I don’t think that she would really set aside time to cook often, she’s pretty skilled in the kitchen. Carmilla would likely have a couple of nights out of the month set aside to cook a meal with/for her and the girls, a tradition that carried on from their life before hell. She’d even take the opportunity to try new things while cooking.
Rosie
Oh, Rosie can absolutely cook, it’s canon that its a hobby of hers. She’s very well versed in a multitude of cooking methods, and while she may not entirely like a whole lot of new-age gadgets in the kitchen, she can’t really deny the fact that they can be quite useful. I’m willing to bet that she would have an Instapot (they’re great I have two and one of them has an air fryer attachment)
Adam
Adam would never openly admit it, but he knows how to cook. He was the first man, he would have had to learn eventually, even if it was something as simple as preparing meats. That being said, he can grill. I’d be willing to bet that he’d host a little barbeque after the annual exterminations for the exorcists, maybe even enter into grilling competitions.
Lute
Lute’s honestly a bit of a wildcard when it comes to cooking. She might have been able to cook while she had been alive, but nowadays not so much. It had been a long time since she actively made anything, so she’d be pretty rusty. But other than the basics, I don’t really see her being able to be too creative in terms of cooking either. She’d honestly probably stick to what she knows and wouldn’t stray too far away from that.
Emily
I don’t necessarily think that seraphim would really need to eat, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t or don’t. In Emily’s case, I would imagine it as a scenario where she wanted to do something to get closer to humanity. They were her charge after all, or rather their state of happiness. But all humans eat and many find joy in doing so and even in the act of cooking, so she absolutely would be thrilled to learn! She’s getting better at it by the day.
Sera
Sera had likely done the same as Emily when she was a young angel, though I don’t see her sticking with it. I definitely think that she taught Emily to start her on her little culinary journey. She can cook, she just… doesn’t. I’d even go as far as to say it’s been centuries since she’s actually cooked a meal of any kind. That being said, if she were to jump into the kitchen nowadays, she probably wouldn’t have a very easy time finding her way around.
Lucifer
Lucifer is a man of many talents. He can absolutely cook, possibly even Michelin level, he just chooses not to. He likely just considers it a novelty of sorts, considering he has the power to simply poof food right in front of him. Honestly, it’s pretty helpful whenever he’s depressed and doesn’t feel like making anything. But, when it comes to his family and friends, he’s more than happy to whip something up.
Lilith
Another one who would likely consider cooking to be a novelty. Considering how she’s the second most powerful being in hell, and fiercely independent with more important things to worry about. Lilith wouldn’t concern herself with cooking unless it was with her family, and even then it likely didn’t happen that often after Charlie grew up.
Bonus:
Alastor Cat
Would wind up burning what ever building its in down. Was it intentional? Was it an accident? The world may never know
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mediaevalmusereads · 5 months
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Baking Yesteryear. By B. Dylan Hollis. DK, 2023.
Rating: 4/5 stars
Genre: cookbook
Series: N/A
Summary: A decade-by-decade cookbook that highlights the best (and a few of the worst) baking recipes from the 20th century
Friends of baking, are you sick and tired of making the same recipes again and again? Then look no further than this baking blast from the past, as B. Dylan Hollis highlights the most unique tasty treats of yesteryear.
Travel back in time on a delicious decade-by-decade jaunt as Dylan shows you how to bake vintage forgotten greats. With a big pinch of fun and a full cup of humor, you’ll be baking everything from Chocolate Potato Cake from the 1910s to Avocado Pie from the 1960s.
Dylan has baked hundreds of recipes from countless antique cookbooks and selected only the best for this bakebook, sharing the shining stars from each decade. And because some of the recipes Dylan shares on his wildly popular social media channels are spectacular failures, he’s thrown in a few of the most disastrously strange recipes for you to try if you dare.
***Full review below.***
Since this book is non-fiction, my review will be structured a little different from normal.
I've had this book for a while, but I didn't want to post a review before making a few of the recipes myself. I was already a fan of Hollis from his TikToks, so that might introduce some bias into my review - just so you're all aware.
Overall, I found this book to be quirky, easy to follow, and fun. I loved the bright colors and retro-feel to the photo shoots, and I appreciated that almost all of the recipes were accompanied by a picture of the thing you're supposed to be making. I also liked the blurbs written by Hollis himself; they very much felt like his voice, with his characteristic sense of humor balanced by his genuine love for baking and "old things."
Perhaps the most valuable part of this book, however, was the emphasis on lowering barriers to entry. I've read my fair share of baking guides that call for special ingredients or equipment, and there are a lot of recipes out there that are finicky and sure ton dissuade new bakers. Hollis's book, however, emphasizes that most (if not all) of these recipes can be done with basic tools - one does not even need an electric mixer (though it does make some recipes easier). There also aren't many fancy ingredients that aren't readily available at most grocery stores, so that also helps.
I do, however, have some minor criticisms which relate to the usability of this book. For one, the organization makes it rather difficult to find a specific recipe (or even category), particularly if you're like me and don't recall what decade it came from. While organizing the recipes by decade makes sense given the book's premise, it does make it more functionally difficult - you can't flip to the cake section, for example, and browse or put yourself within the general vicinity of the recipe you're looking for. Thus, readers will have to rely on either the TOC or the index a lot more, but this is a minor inconvenience rather than a huge drawback.
I also don't think the majority of the recipes are blow-your-mind good, but honestly, given this book's premise, I don't think that's the worst thing. The recipes are largely taken from sources aimed at home bakers, so you're not going to get professional-level pastries out of them. You will, however, get things that are fun and relatively simple to make, and they taste good enough to me that I'd consider making them multiple times.
TL;DR: Baking Yesteryear is a fine book for fans of Hollis's TikTok, but it goes beyond being mere merch. It not only provides historical recipes that are easy to replicate, but it also does a good job of lowering barriers to entry for new bakers. Experienced bakers might not be overly impressed by the recipes, but engaging with food history is a treat in and of itself, and it's delightful to see someone like Hollis engaging with the past with such enthusiasm and adoration.
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kwnnys · 4 months
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BAKING WITH BLLK BOYS !
cw ; a bit suggestive/established relationship w the first one, I have no idea how to bake so don't!! sue me!!!, swearing, inconsistent writing style
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THE FLIRTY ONES !
he's somewhat innocent at the beginning, reading out the recipe and grinning as he watches you confidently put on your apron. woah, he didn't realise how hot you could look in such a simple piece of clothing.
he doesn't try to hide the fact that he's shamelessly flirting and trying to coax you. purposely smudging icing and powdered sugar on the corners of your lips, letting out a chuckle when you shoot him an annoyed glare.
hes standing behind you and peeking over your shoulder as you mix the batter. he shakes his head, saying that you're doing it all wrong and he places his hand over yours, 'demonstrating' on how to properly mix it. he shrugs in denial when you call him out for just wanting an excuse to hold you, whistling and glancing to the side.
you know those creepy thirst traps of men baking and they just completely violate the food? he probably does that in front of you for the shits and giggles. pouting and whining that you're 'no fun' when you scold him to stop.
he can't keep his hands off you. playfully slapping your ass the moment you bend over to put the tray into the oven. he ignores your little scoldings, and he cuts you off by scooping you up and placing you on the kitchen counter, caressing your waist as he presses his lips on yours.
the cute baking date you had planned quickly turns into a steamy makeout session as his hands run through the back of your head and he pushes you closer, exploring your mouth with his tongue before— wait, did the smoke alarm just go off?
SHIDOU, REO, BACHIRA, AIKU, KARASU !
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THE LAZY ONES !
he wasn't too fond of the idea of baking. couldn't you two just place an order from your local pastry shop?
you end up having to drag him by force to the kitchen, where he's standing boredly and watching as you do basically everything. it's his presence that counts.
he does help out every once in awhile, passing you the ingredients required or the utensils that you needed. his brows furrow when he sees you pour 3 cups of sugar into the mix. isn't that too much?
all of a sudden he's backseating and pointing out your little mistakes. your inaccurate measurements, or your poor decorating skills. it drives you crazy, to the point where you just shove the bowl into his hands and tell him to do it himself if he's so bothered.
he quickly shuts up at that, and the two of you finally finish baking the pastries! and what do you know, they taste delicious.
NAGI, KAISER, OTOYA, CHIGIRI !
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THE GRUMPY ONES !
he's reluctant at first, but eventually agrees. he is very strict when it comes to recipes, and he makes sure that everything goes perfectly according to what the article says. its hard to take him seriously though, not when he's wearing a pretty pink apron with that stoic look on his face.
it's a bit suffocating. he's bossing you around, and he always has his eye on you. oh, you're trying to sneak some sprinkles into the batter? not on his watch, sprinkles weren't included in the recipe.
he's uptight, but it's just the perfectionist in him. he needs everything to be flawless, it's like he was baking for the minister of Japan himself.
he also makes sure not to make a mess, scolding you when you even let a drop of icing drip onto the counter. he's washing the utensils every 5 minutes. you're sure your water bill is going to suffer.
though, it's somewhat worth it in the end, because these taste like the best sweets you've ever had in your life! the texture is perfect, and the cute decorations on top make it all the better. even so, you might have to think twice before inviting him over for another baking session...
BAROU, RIN, SAE, (WILD CARD) KUNIGAMI !
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THE 'HES TRYING HIS BEST..' ONES !
he's not too experienced when it comes to the art of baking. sure, he's made christmas cookies with his parents every once in awhile— but he's amateur level at best.
he's squinting his eyes trying to read the instructions, tilting his head in confusion. what was the difference between baking soda and powder again..? was there even a difference? what would be the consequence if he accidentally mixes them up?
but no worries, you're there to guide him! or, he hopes. turns out, you know just as little as he does. and the two of you look like clueless puppies in the kitchen.
you end up having to bring in a third party, someone that has much more experience. he tries to help as much as he can, offering to do the more simple tasks like washing bowls and preheating the oven.
the end results isn't too bad. it's slightly more burnt than he expected. oh well, nothing a bit of frosting can't hide fix.
ISAGI, KURONA, YUKIMIYA, NANASE !
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THE SURPRISINGLY EXPERT ONES !
he had told you he wasn't much experienced when you brought it up, to which you said was completely fine! you had been wanting to brag about your newfound skills from the classes you've been taking, after all.
so then why.. is he doing everything? you're confused. he said he wasn't experienced, and yet he was far better at this than you. he didn't even need to look at a recipe, he's doing everything by feel and instinct.
he's even giving you tips. not in a taunting or teasing way, but in a genuinely trying to help way. you want to be mad at him, to call him out for lying but— he's smiling so sweetly, and he seems to genuinely be having fun.
you ended up missing the chance to show off to him. but it was worth the joyful and fun memories you made that day.
HIORI, NESS !
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justporo · 6 months
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A Night of Staying In
After all the doom and gloom in other writing I really needed some cutesy fluff to feel myself again - and also to give Astarion and Tav a break.
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Summary: So have Tav and Astarion just enjoying a cozy night in - also Astarion gets a carrot hurled at his face.
Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav Warnings: Mention of sex, a carrot gets thrown and then murdered Wordcount: 2,2k
Delicious smells of slowly cooking meats and vegetables, spices and a forgotten mint tea were wafting through the kitchen of your cozy little townhouse.
You were bustling around the well-equipped kitchen. The apron you were wearing was full of stains and its pockets full of cooking utensils – even a half-full spoon absent-mindedly tugged away in one of them. It was slowly leaking through the linen with something on it that looked like blood – but was simply a tomatoey sauce. Your hair was messily put up in a bun, but several strands of hair had fallen out of it and you looked only so far from a mental breakdown.
At the kitchen table Astarion was sitting with a lantern, bowing over an embroidery project. He had the very bright lantern you’d gifted him specifically for this purpose directly next to him, but he was still squinting at his work and holding it so close his nose was almost touching the fabric. He looked a lot less demented than you but still very absent-minded.
Fabrics and threads were strewn all about the wooden table. Different needles were glinting everywhere on it too. One could only hope that those would be remembered at some point – preferably before someone stuck them in their fingers.
Next to him were also laying some loose papers, a feather and an ink pot with lots of writing that was then crossed out again and also some small little doodles on the corners – one for whatever reason happened to be a goose with a knife in its beak.
You had several pots on the iron stove and something about to go in the oven as well. Critically you were moving around between all of these things, clattering with copper pot lids, jars of ingredients and spoons to try the food (always in the same pattern: grabbing a new spoon, trying something, putting the spoon in the dish bowl full of dirty water – then having to grab a new spoon). You had some potatoes boiling and in another pot you had been cooking a mixture of vegetables and beef for quite some time. You wanted to recreate a recipe of cottage pie that you had once tried many years ago in a tavern and had kept reappearing in your dreams. And now you finally had the kitchen and the tools to try and cook it yourself!
But it seemed impossible to get it right, this already being your fourth attempt this week. The vampire had already been moaning that you had basically force-fed him the meal because you had no way of eating that much pie on your own. It was not, that the finished pies hadn’t tasted well, but they just weren’t like you remembered. But you started to think that it might be your memory that was tricking you and not your cooking skills.
You went to try the pie filling again after adding some more spices and dash more red wine (directly from your goblet because you didn’t seem to remember where you put the bottle).
As soon as the spoonful hit your tongue you knew you had done it – finally.
You shrieked and immediately heard another shriek behind you in reply. You turned around to Astarion with glee and saw how the vampire was staring at you angrily and shaking his hand. It didn’t take a genius to figure out your sudden excitement had caused him to stab himself with his needle.
“Darling, can you maybe not scream like a dying goblin, I was concentrating!”, he hissed at you. Your joy evaporated at his flare of anger – so you turned around again, grabbed a left over half of carrot and threw it at Astarion – and maybe a bit more forceful than would have been necessary.
But he was still a rogue and dodged the vegetable easily. It flew against one of the cabinets and then to the ground. There it stayed until Scratch came into the kitchen, drawn there by the sudden noises. The dog sniffed at the piece of vegetable, then grabbed it and went off again.
“Oh really, are we at the ‘I throw stuff at my lover’ point of our relationship now, love?”, Astarion replied to your responsive outburst of anger with a raised eyebrow. “Am I going to have to sleep on the sofa next?”, he continued sassily.
Your hand itched to grab more produce – there were some potatoes still laying around and they made for excellent improvised throwing weapons. But you saw the smirk that played around the vampire’s lips. So you settled for a verbal rebuttal.
“Don’t be such a prick and you can keep sleeping inside”, you said and flipped him off. Then you turned around again to your cooking and grabbed – yet another – spoon and scooped up some of the filling. The vampire mumbled something under his breath about he wouldn’t have to be a prick if you didn’t make him prick himself.
“Oh, that would be so gracious of you, my dear lady, if I was still allowed in your shining presence”, Astarion then said loudly as you were busy with the pots. The tone still very sassy but you heard the playfulness in it now and knew he was now only teasing.
You went over to him, with one hand under the spoon full of hot goodness that immediately started dripping and burning your hand. You winced but kept going.
“Here, try this – I think I got it now”, you said as you stood in front of Astarion who had put down his needlework for the time being. He threw you a pained look: “Love, if you keep feeding me this I think I might actually start to get a pot belly.”
You snorted at him and eyed what you could see of his upper body. “Pretty sure, you will never have to worry about this kind of thing. Now. Try. It”, you answered and insistingly came closer with the spoon.
Astarion sighed, gave you another suffering look and then let himself be fed. His doubtful expression quickly changed to what you interpreted as pleasantly surprised.
“Alright, I take everything back, that was well worth the scream of enlightenment, my sweet. That tastes wonderful”, the vampire said and grinned at you.
“See, wasn’t so hard, was it”, you said and gave him a quick peck on the lips as you could see his face changing to annoyance once more at your petty remark.
You threw the spoon in the dish bowl and rubbed your hands on your apron and started to get everything ready for the final step of the recipe. Meanwhile you said to Astarion: “So, darling, could you write down the following: one and a half cups of red wine and three instead of two sprigs of thyme and just loads of black pepper.”
“Of course, my darling chef”, Astarion replied cheerfully and grabbed the feather and papers laying next to him to write it down. “Any other changes?”
“No, this will be it”, you responded and happily clapped your hands before you put your filling in a cast iron pan, mashed and seasoned the potatoes and then put them down as the topping of your pie. The final touch was some hearty cheese sprinkled on top. Then you put it all in the oven.
In the meantime, you heard the feather scratching over the paper.
“What are you doing, Astarion?”, you asked as you took off the oven mitts from pushing the pan in to cook.
“Just putting the recipe in clean writing for you, my heart”, the vampire replied as he kept looking through older versions and notes on the papers. Brows furrowed as he was concentrating on it.
“That’s sweet, love, thank you”, you said to him but he didn’t reply and probably hadn’t even noticed. Of course – if you said something actually nice you fell on deaf ears.
So you decided to thank him with another gesture. You grabbed another goblet to pour your vampire a cup of wine but as you looked around to find the opened bottle you saw that it had been next to Astarion with an already filled cup all along.
You gave up and sat down across the table with your own cup of wine as Astarion finished up writing. You put one leg up on the bench and hugged it to your chest, head on top of the knee and watched the pale elf.
“Here you go, my sweet”, the vampire exclaimed cheerfully after a few more moments and handed you the finished recipe that was now written cleanly in his neat and beautiful handwriting. ‘Tav’s specialty cottage pie’ stood atop the page and next to it was a little doodle of some steaming hot pie.
You smiled broadly at Astarion: “Thank you, darling.” Then you shortly leaned on the table, almost climbing over it to give him a kiss while carefully trying to avoid the needles.
“Do you sometimes wonder how we ended up like this?”, you softly asked him after you had read through the finished recipe.
“Like what?”
“Well, like this – all domestic. I’m cooking, you’re embroidering, we’re bickering like an old married couple, drinking wine and just enjoying a cozy night in instead of wreaking havoc somewhere out there”, you said and waved vaguely in the direction of the city beyond the walls of your home. Then you took another sip of wine.
“Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’ve been bickering like that from the moment we met”, Astarion answered and looked at you sternly. You shrugged in agreement.
“As for the rest – well, are you enjoying the way we spend our nights like this sometimes? Because if you’re bored-“
“No no, I’m enjoying this an awful lot. It’s just – this is somehow the most unlike turn of events don’t you think? Like, I sometimes can’t believe we actually ended up in the version where we’ll live happily ever after”, you said and cradled your face in your hand not currently holding a cup of wine.
At your words a warm and adoring smile crept onto Astarion’s face.
“Are you though?”, you asked then.
“Hm?”
“Are you enjoying these kinds of nights?”, you asked Astarion again and lifted your head up to look straight at him.
The vampire looked at you, smile still playing around his lips: “Well, my love, after two hundred years full of godsdamned shit I am enjoying this sort of mundanity quite a lot. And I enjoy it even more because I get to spend it with you. I might even enjoy doing the dishes with you later on – unless you don’t splash me like last time.”
You smiled at him too now, broadly – feeling incredibly lucky that you had indeed taken all the right turns that had led you here, to this: sitting at this kitchen table with the love of your life, talking about doing the dishes.
“But if we ever get bored, my sweet, I have quite a lot of ideas on how to spice things up”, Astarion continued afterwards. The smile morphed into a lewd smirk and his red eyes sparkled mischievously: “For example, I could dramatically throw everything on this table to the ground, rip all your clothes off and have my way with you on this table until you forget your own name.”
His voice had suddenly become deep and smooth like dark molten chocolate. You bit your bottom lip as the mental image of his words set in and you just stared into his eyes point blank. Astarion still looked at you, not breaking eye contact, and his teasing smirk only growing.
“Nah”, you made after some more moments, “not tonight. My cottage pie would burn.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and you drank some more of your wine while still looking into the vampire’s eyes.
Then you both broke down laughing. So much so that you had to wipe tears from your eyes by the end and Astarion had his face buried in one of his hands while silent fits of laughter still shook through him.
“Alright”, he said and bit his lip, one of his fangs showing adorably as if he was a cat, “I’ll write it down for another date night then.” You broke out laughing again.
Until you could actually smell your food burning. With an “oh shit” you jumped up and pulled the pan out of the oven – you had saved it just in time.
You got out some plates and forks, and put some generous servings onto them. As you turned around your gaze fell onto the table full of Astarion’s embroidery supplies. Astarion saw your look, then waved it off, dismissing it.
He grabbed one of the filled plates from you and grabbed your then free hand to lead you to the living room. Scratch was there laying on his designated blanket, chewing on his favourite ball. Some telltale orange spots telling the tale of the fallen carrot.
You settled down on your sofa with your food – you swinging your legs over Astarion’s and getting cozy.
And this is where you stayed: eating until you felt like your belly might burst, joking until you were crying again, talking until you got so tired you almost drifted off into dreaming right then and there. And when you had went to bed: holding each other until you woke up in the other’s arms again.
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