#yikes.txt

[permafrown]

you know if I got into it I'd probably be an inspector gadget self-shipper but I'm at work rn so we dont have time to unpack all of that.

[heebiecreepies]

all my friends go to bed so gotdamn early and I'm stuck awake at like 6 am because I have these Gotdam Sleeping Issues

[behlamy]

wtf is this update i hate it

[xkravyn]

6”1 conventionally attractive man: hi

me: 🥱

6”0 scruffy dude who is at least 20 years older than me and won’t text me back: hi

me:

[sgt-spank]

Poll:

Who the fuck feels NORMAL??????

[eltigreus]

i blame capitalism for this

[acehardys]

💫

[yikescomma]

oops, i said i would do weekly nano updates and then i didn’t!

(because i stopped doing nano after day 3)

here’s the thing: nano is not for me. not only do i have adhd but i’m also chronically ill. i will not be able to write everyday, or even most days, if i put myself into a position where i'm forcing myself to.

but that’s okay! in those three days i got a killer 10k in that i feel really good about, and i’m finally in a space now, on the 25th of november, that i can write a bit more. you’re not going to reach every goal you set. you’re not going to smash nano out of the park every single year. hell, i don’t smash nano out of the park any year! i never have, and i probably never will.

am i going to stop doing nano and both camp nanos every year? of course not! it’s fun and i love engaging with the community. but if you don’t want to or can’t do nano? fuck it! write when and how you want to. i believe in you.

p.s. as an apology for going back on my posting promises (again) heres a little preview at most of act 1 of teeth marks, outlined.

p.p.s. i turned 18 about 5 days ago!

[permafrown]

y'all think I should put a picture of deimos in the bouncy by ateez themed toploader I got from a fan event

[heebiecreepies]

chemical spill is a beautiful name for a baby girl. and also something that Happened to Me

[behlamy]

moved out of my parents today ,, am i a big girl now?

[astrofilmed]

Not being able to physically cry fucking suuuucks, cause I know I’d feel 10000% times better if I could and I end up feeling worse when I need to cry bc then I get a bad headache. Anyway, guess who needs to cry 😬

[ineffable-writer]

I just got this PM on reddit and

y  i  k  e  s

(transcript below the break if you want to freak out with me but don’t want to kill your eyes on this wall of nonsense)

Context:

1. Bi person was asking if their plot on a writing subreddit was queerbaiting or not, I said I didn’t think so but there were a couple other bits (the “being gay as a choice” thing) they might want to be careful of, OP gave me the bisexual thumbs up and we all moved on. (OP was not the one who messaged me.)

2. No one in the thread was “exploring” their sexuality. Character was canonically bi.

3. Hannibal was not at any point mentioned in ANY part of this interaction?

4. Nor was battle, war, or in fact any violence???

5. Nor was the even SLIGHTEST mention that gay men are... more prone to violence??? Which is not an argument I’ve ever heard ANYONE use???

6. ????????????????????

Transcript: 

Hi. Saw your comment re "queerbaiting". I was unfamiliar with that term. I would post this publicly, but I have zero faith in a Reddit community not making this (or any query) unnecessarily combative. So I'm just reaching out privately to the person who prompted my query... You mentioned the notion of "being gay is as choice" as something (A) negative, and (B) untrue.

I'm wondering how that's possible. (and, for the record, I am aware of, and in disagreement with, the religious angle on this, that if you allow the notion of gay sexuality to be a choice, you open the door to "conversion" talk.

Again, I disagree with that; yet, I'm not big on topical avoidance just because misuse and misinterpretation is possible).

So yes, QUESTION: If in fact gay sexuality or gay expression or even gay acts and/or gay experiences, are NOT a choice... then how is it possible that there is a preponderance, an HISTORIC preponderance of men who, in times of both imprisonment and in times of war, readily engage in queer or homosexual activity... only to, upon said war or imprisonment ending, leave the situation (and those confined circumstances) and never look back on their queer exploits ever again?

This same question can be aimed at women, who, again, with an historic preponderance, tend to engage in queer exploration -- even full-fledged queer/lesbian coupling -- only to leave college and dive headfirst into a traditionally straight, cis-gender nuclear relationship with a man.

In addition, what further complicates this from the male side of things, is that if one DISAGREES with the idea that incarcerated men, despite being straight, are capable of "choosing" to explore homosexual ideation and expression (and instant believe that these men are in fact either gay or bisexual)... ...then, to me, this broaches a much more pernicious and, well, hurtful, harmful and slightly absurd argument: That gay and bisexual men are more prone to criminality than straight men.

I don't believe that's true. And as mentioned I think that's dangerous, but it's sort of the hole someone such as yourself backs themselves into, by too forcefully adhering to the argument that "being queer is NOT a choice." Then there's the television series, "Hannibal," which, despite being 7 or 8 years old, is currently enjoying a resurgence on Netflix.

By this (again, new to me) definition of "queerbaiting", one could argue that the entire series (read: all three seasons, quite possibly every episode) epitomizes "queerbaiting." And if that IS your take, how unfortunate.

Because "Hannibal" to me explores an almost transcendent love and connection to another human being; indeed, the connection between the two leading (and by all accounts, "straight") male characters (Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham), is, to me, one of the "gayest" things I've ever seen, yet it happens to also be one of the most beautiful and enduring relationships ever depicted on any screen, big or small. 4

It's not so much that you're rooting for them to "be together", as there is a longing to experience the full consummation of their intertwining souls. But if you would see that series as "queerbaiting" simply because there is no chance of these two male characters "being together", and by extension naysay the deeply aesthetic and artistic (even spiritual) connection that I, as a straight man, am able to walk away with (saying nothing of what I imagine it must be like as a gay man watching this)...

...then it is indeed unfortunate, and once again we as a society have allowed shortsighted terminology (in the presumed quest for equity) to get in the way of true beauty and art.

[namrehtims]

remember when the 100 was good and hadn't broken my heart

sophie

[icannotseemyself]

Here’s the first chapter of my Criminal Minds fanfic! This is my first time posting to AO3, but I really like it. Enjoy!

[biggerlicker]

Shane is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my dog.