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#you absolutely do not got this my angel
firelise · 4 months
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"I want you to be Tong's stand-in"
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"Ming wants to work with you"
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creative-clawmarks · 1 month
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Another idea I had for Jay's monster form is that he is also a vampire, but not the same kind as Alex.
If Alex is eating people's flesh then Jay is eating people's souls, like some kind of voyeuristic energy vampire.
I feel like this is more thematically cogent. It matches his role in the story, it gives him a connection to Alex, and it honestly gives me more to play with in terms of capabilities and interactions.
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Of course, Jay never reaches this point in the series. He gets closer and closer as things get worse and worse but he ultimately dies before he becomes a true monster, features never twisting and abilities never manifesting.
Who's to say what would have happened had things gone differently though. Maybe there's an alternate future out there where Jay and Alex become pack-bonded predators, hunting people in their own uniquely terrible ways...
...Anyways, I like this a lot more than the angel idea so I'm going to be moving forward with this being canon in mind. Sorry, lol.
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sherlock-is-ace · 3 months
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Obviously plastic surgery is about the person getting the surgery and nobody else. They can do whatever they want and I truly hope they're doing it for the right genuine reasons and not societal pressure and shitty beauty standards. And I hope they feel great and confident and in love with the results. But the way some people change everything that made them unique and interesting looking in order to look like Generic Rando #5 is so weird to me...
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july-19th-club · 1 year
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unbelivable they said it couldnt be done they said it was beyond science but they were wrong! they did it! they created a vampire man who is worse than angel btvs and edward culling combined
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starshine-selfships · 7 months
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YOURE ALSO SHIPPING WITH AN ANGEL NAMED GABRIEL!?? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!!!! 🩷🩷🩷
GOD GOD YES!! Also fun fact I lowkey knew you specifically would see those tags and got excited to see if you would say anything hfjgrgj
Here's the guy of the hour, the week, the YEAR
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(The art with the oranges is my own lmao)
I got the game he's from as a gift for Christmas from a friend who really likes it (and I was like yeah!! I wanna play the game too!!) so everything I'm saying has a grand total of a month and a half behind it, and I feel like the short time duration is important to highlight the insanity here kdjffk
ALRIGHT SO spoilers for the entirety of ultra.kill as a game bc he's integral to the overall plot, but some background before Gabby, the game is centered around a robot (controlled by the player) descending down through 9 layers of hell a la dante's inferno style, bc this particular machine is blood powered and mankind has been completely wiped out (partially by war, partially by something that hasn't been made 100% clear yet), so you're just going around slaughtering everything in sight, with the chunkiest graphics known to man along the way.
Gabe's role here is to step in and try to stop you bc you're basically a walking abomination to all that is holy, Gabe is the angel that sends people to hell and is also the one chosen to carry out the will of god so he's also done a lot of killing to do that; he loses to the machine, gets so mad he curses at you (calls you an insignificant fuck) and then leaves, but we see a little behind the scenes, where we learn he's never lost a fight like this and the rest of the angels call it heresy; they sever his connection with divinity and tell him he has 24 hours to fix everything or he'll die. So naturally, next fight he's pissed as hell, and starts out MAD, yelling and threatening, but as it goes on, he starts having fun and laughing and taunting, and when he loses again, he says he feels relieved and needs time to think. He starts introspecting and starts questioning everything he's been told after he realizes he wasn't feeling hatred, but a sort of passion in the challenge of the fights. He starts asking himself if the angels he followed were actually in the right, and ends up killing them all, accepting that he's going to die but that he'll die not only having been freed from the constraints placed on him, but also having freed heaven itself from the angels that basically held it hostage with their power.
He's also as close to trans as you can get without explicitly calling him such! The devs discussed angels and pronouns in a recent stream and said they wanted angels to have no pronouns if possible, but then realized that they needed to gender Gabe when another character wrote a diary entry about him, so they settled on pronouns as a mark of angel status, which means that he didn't originally use he/him, but picked it up later and continued to use it no matter what; the other angels called him "it" after the took his divinity, but the overall narration still uses masculine pronouns for him, so it comes with the implication that he's still exactly who he knows he is, no matter what is said about him, which. as a trans man. good lord fhsjg the trauma of his arc hits very close to home for me and that was part of what propelled him into the spot he has on this blog.
The other thing that got him here was. and there really isn't any other way to say it. This man turned everyone into rabid animals, I have never seen so many people look at a character and desire him so violently, everyone wants to do unspeakable things to this man and it is so funny hdsjgks his VA will also voice pretty much anything in-character as well, so there's a lot of unhinged bullshit that makes for an absolutely incredible image of this man. He's a little uptight at first and throws a fit when things don't go his way, he seems like the exact kind of man that would be kind of silly, this man would struggle to peel an orange, throw it at a wall, and then later hang his head in his hands about it. This man would be able to speak multiple languages but would somehow mispronounce every single word as he goes. He's an astounding character and he's also kind of pathetic and something about all these factors just. lobotomized me. There is a gay little angel where part of my brain should be and I've just accepted it. I had a gay dream about him one single week after I saw him in game, the grip he has on me is UNREAL and I've fully accepted it.
He gives the very fun aspect of "is not human and has no idea what humans need or how they act", which makes him utterly hilarious to me, I wanna see this man try to preheat the oven, he is trying so hard to cook something for me and he is burning it so badly, he does NOT know what a car is and is frankly too wary of it to even consider getting in it. People also arrived at the consensus that he's probably very tall, it's been confirmed that there are no canon heights in the game, but everyone has agreed that Gabby is at least 7 feet tall and it is the funniest thing on earth to me. Very large and somewhat confused angel who means the best trying very hard in his new environment. Oh my god wait when the developers had that stream I mentioned they also talked about Gabe for a bit in regards to his personality bc in-game he saved someone from being swept away in the river styx (now an ocean after an influx of souls), and they were so grateful they added a fully functional hologram of him onto their ship, saying the lines he'd said when he'd saved them, and the devs said that they'd wanted that to be a glimpse into what Gabriel is like when he's not immediately targeting you as an enemy or fighting, and the specific words they used were "he's kind and loving" and that short-circuited my brain immediately upon impact.
He is The Guy Ever, he's basically trans and 70% of the people who drew him gave him top surgery scars even before the devs talked about gender, he's got religious trauma and guilt, he's too tall and has probably never read a book outside of the bible, he giggles and whimpers, he is considered to be one of if not the most wifeable character in the entire game, he has an official body pillow, I want to put him in pretty little outfits, I want to hold his hand and take him to the beach, I want to pin him against a wall, he is. Such A Guy,, thank you so much for asking me about him he makes me feel so insane hsgjsdl
#fun fact! i typed this up on my laptop and then switched to my phone to add the pics#i uh. i like him 👉👈 this gave me an excuse to infodump about my favorite game ever so thank you!!!#this man would be so so afraid of accidentally hurting someone he cares about; he is so physically strong and it would kill him#he would however. be kind of smug about it. he is purposefully putting things out of reach so you have to call him over#the guy ever.. love this man... i am still fighting for a ship name bc i feel like i can do something so funny#sitting with like. match made in heaven and in the arms of an angel but he's got light motifs#he is literally called ''the light in my darkness'' by someone in game like. it's like there's gay and then there's whatever#this guy has going on#i am having such a major gayboy moment over him and allegedly the body pillow#(which is always out of stock mind you!!) might restock tomorrow and I'm like. it would be so funny to have it 😭#he makes me feel unhinged and it's so much fun bc no one is normal about him#vs my bug boy that no one else cared about. the whiplash has been absolutely insane 😭#i love my stupid giant angel he activates every single neuron in my brain simultaneously#okay okay i think. this should be everything. i could talk about him for so long 😭#star speaks#asks#thank you so much again!!!!! 💖#i am. not proofreading this kdjfkfk whatever i said is what's getting posted. stream of consciousness 😤#light of my life 🕊
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ik im talking a lot abt the books im reading rn (this is due to the fact that after eons of not having the time or energy i am once again reading books) but theydies i can happily announce that after 2 unsuccessful weapons and wielders books soulbrand has truly captured my enamoration once again i’m kissing keras lovingly and tenderly (the only way to kiss him)
#just got to the scene where he fights edria song & she's so sweet about it and he's so unintentionally flirtatious#ugh !!!!! babygirl <3#like dgmw theres nothing wrong w the first two but like they just haven't been for me#and its like there truly is no rhyme or reason as to why because i love keras i love dawn and reika absolutely#and i especially love seeing keras as . you know. keras. instead of as taelien (but taelien is my sweet angel forever so yk)#like its not like i prefer keras to t or anything i just like seeing his growth and his changing#so idk why the first two didnt like hook me as much as any of the other books within the universe#but anyway. soulbrand has gotten me thank god ! i think i should get the paperbacks for w&w to like#reread them and just see if the medium might make a difference#eventually i wanna own all the andrew rowe books but i do also have to prioritise cause i only have the first 2 aa books#and how to defeat a demon king i found that one second hand as like a library copy im p sure ??? which is cool#so anyway i wanna complete aa first and honestly i do also very much want to own wobm very dearly#but those ones are just for the collection of it all because i dont think i'll ever reread those physically i love the audiobooks too much#and i dont have That much annotating to do in those as opposed to the arcane ascension ones#and then we get into the shatter crystal legacy (not what its called cant right recall rn) of which . i think the second one is out#but anyway ive only read the first one but would love to have that one as well obv#ugh. i love this universe so much it truly is so captivating to me#recently read
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waugh-bao · 1 year
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#I’m a stupid stupid stupid person#last week when I went to Southampton (all curses be upon that place and its horrid uni) I saw in the papers of the amateur historian I was#looking at that he had the exact dates for the opening and closing of one my merchant figure’s account at the Bank of England#the BofE Archives have a really primitive search mechanism#so you have to contact one of the archivists to actually see if they have the material#and because I’m an antisocial nocturnal cave creature (ie a historian) I’d rather die than have to interact with another human#thus I put off emailing them until today when I was in the BL waiting for a request to be fulfilled#and they got back to me a few hours later to say that they do have what I want#and that there are open spots to work there from the 18th of July#which would be great#if I weren’t in Taiwan from the 13th#so I wrote back and explained that I’m traveling/researching/working for the rest of the summer and going back to my PhD program in Sept#the absolute angel of an archivist who I will love for all time told me that there was a cancellation for the 3rd-4th he would give me#and that he would ‘flex’ the 15 documents per day rule so I could look at everything#the 3rd is going to be a mess because I’m coming back from Bulgaria late that morning#but I will somehow get myself from Gatwick to Central London and make it work#(just praying they allow photography)#I guess the life lesson of this extremely long and boring story is that procrastination pays ???#me stuff#not the stones
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becca-alexa · 1 year
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✨personal so read if you want to✨
the people in my immediate circle all think i'm crazy for saying i'd want to be in a relationship for 2-3 years before talking about marriage and i think they're all insane for it but then i remember the average time from strangers to married for them is around 6 months
#becca.txt#legit do not think any of their relationships went on for longer than a year before marriage#my bestie went from absolute strangers to married in 4 months#they're adorable together but FOUR MONTHS???wild#they met around christmas and their wedding was in april - they just had their 1st anniversary and their baby's due next month#that's what happens when you're latina and religious i guess#not me thinking that 30s+ is a good age to marry and have kids and everybody thinking i'm insane 👀#don't even get me started on HAVING kids -- nobody wants to hear that i can't conceive naturally they all say to stay hopeful!...#there's still a chance!you can do it!like y'all i got stage 4 endometriosis that's taken over both my ovaries i ain't having no kids 😂#honestly i've said this before and i'll say it again - if i'm to have a marriage like some of them i'd rather stay single#i think only my bestie has a TRULY happy and functional marriage#i love her for it and her husband's an angel on earth -- everyone else's marriage is a literal dumpster fire#like my dudes if you're doing relationship counseling WHILE DATING then do premarital AND post marital couseling...#why get married???? like i am the biggest supporter of utilizing mental health services but something's not right there#and don't even get me started on how YOUNG they marry or how religious folk play round robin with each other til someone sticks#god forbid you tell anyone you don't want to get married in general or GASP!you marry a non-believer#everybody always talks shit about “missional dating” and how you can't do it!!but like... everybody does it#literally everybody#it's not a big deal#just because we're the same denomination doesn't automatically make you a decent person#and the opposite is true - just because we don't believe the same things doesn't make you a hellbound pagan#it's just frustrating y'know???idk if anybody will relate to this but i am so ready to just... do my faith on my own terms#so sick of people i've known all my life looking at me like i'm sick or something bc i'm 26 and still single#by this point if anybody in that circle tries to set me up with a guy it's an automatic aversion#not one man they've ever introduced to me is worth the light of day - and i'm not being rude#like buddy you're 30+ still living at home no job no career no education no ambitions....but he's christian tho!!#yeah sure but he's still trash#i want a partner not a baby imma have to support#just me rambling about things nobody want to hear but i gotta put this out somewhere or else i'll implode
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classicjdog · 2 months
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man playing guitar hero with the actual guitar controller is really really fun. no wonder that shit was so popular back in the day. in my childhood i played a decent amount of gh with a normal controller, but playing it on the guitar is definitely more fun, at least once i got used to it
wish i'd inherited my older brothers' talent for the game but twas not to be unfortunately, no 5 star through the fire and flames on expert for me lmfao but i'm still having a lot of fun doing fairly well for myself on hard and barely scraping by on expert
the 2 songs that i've replayed the most so far are hotel california & eruption. hotel california strikes a really nice balance between being really fun & engaging to play while still being totally doable even for someone with my shitty level of skill. like it's not some super easy song where you're just strumming away at the same chord progression over and over for 5 minutes, there's lots & lots of hammer-on/pull-off sequences, but those sequences are very much on the easier end of the spectrum. it is, at least so far, the only song that i've 5 starred on expert, it's really fun and obv it's a super good song too
eruption is also very very fun cause it's literally just a 2 minute guitar solo and it's REALLY HARD. it's so hard that i really shouldn't be able to do it, like it's the final song in the van halen career mode which means the game places it on that same tier of final boss-type songs as like through the fire and flames & jordan & the like, but since it's so short it's actually just barely doable for me. at least on hard, i haven't even tried it on expert lol. it's also the only song where i've successfully done that both-hands-on-the-fretboard thing that i saw my brothers do back in the day. any time it could potentially be useful i'm usually too overwhelmed by the number of notes to even think to attempt it, but i'm pretty sure eruption is specifically designed for you to have both hands up on the neck of the guitar since that's literally what eddie van halen did whenever he played the song irl, which i do think is a really nice touch
#also sidenote#playing all this guitar hero is making me wanna start playing my real guitar again#like after a decently long session of guitar hero the tips of my fingers are pretty sore#which kinda brings back fond memories of the stupid steel strings on my guitar leaving marks on my fingers lol#it's been so long since i've touched my guitar i've completely forgotten every single song i knew how to play#i knew how to play like 5 or 6 different undertale songs!!! i played save the world AND hopes and dreams for my year 12 exam!!#i learnt shit like american pie & the man comes around!! the man who sold the world!!#cruel angels thesis! a bunch of songs from steven universe! the little guitar part from el mañana by gorillaz! various other random shit!!#i tried to learn the intro to crazy on you by heart and gave up in like 2 seconds cuz that shit's impossible!!!#now it's all been flushed down the memory toilet#i guess i can just learn them all again. i mean i've done it before right?#oh and another sidenote i just remembered#the first couple guitar hero games didn't get the rights to most of the songs so the soundtrack is mostly covers#and obv pretty much all of them are inferior to the originals#but i just wanted to make special mention of the cover of killing in the name from guitar hero 2 cause that shit was HORRIBLE#butchered an absolute all-time classic but they butchered it in a really funny way so it's fine honestly lmfaooo#like the instrumentation is fine. inferior to the original but prime rage is a high bar to clear so i won't give them shit for that#oh except the guitar solo omg they made that thing sound like shit lol#but the vocals. christ almighty. CONTROL I WON'T DO WHAT YA TELL ME!!! CONTROL I WON'T DO WHAT YA TELL ME!! UNDER CONTROOOOOL#guy is certainly no zack de la rocha is all i'll say. thank goodness they got the real version of bulls on parade for gh3
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THAT IS TIME... MAKE US TRANSITION IMMEATEDILY THIS INSTANT. YOU'RE MY ALLY. YOU SUPPORT US. THEY'RE EVIL ENEMIES. THEY'RE AGAINST US.
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Loving Caring Funny Special Unique Absolute#Admirable Sweet Kind Amazing Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Anime Writing Autism Adhd Cptsd#Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Bipolar Scizophrenia Psychosis Like Me Love Me Care About Me Be Me#Become Me Admire Me Want To Be Me Please Suomi Finland Finnish Kärsimys Uhit Satutetut Sorretut Tuhotut Syrjityt Vihatut Hyljityt Välitä#Rakasta Meitä Pelasta Meidät... He Ovat Viholliset Sinä Olet Puolellamme... Bionicle On Vanha Hän On Perässä Hän On Rikki Hän Ei Toimi...#Meidät On Hylätty Samalla Tavalla Miljoonasti... Nana On Hyvä Reira On Woke... Viholliset Vihaavat Heitä Viholliset Kiusasivat Meitä... He#Sortavat He Satuttavat He Syrjivät Kapitalismin Uhreja... Mad On Vihollinen He Eivät Välitä Kenestäkään... Vain Meihin Voi Luottaa Luota#Meihin... Me Ansaitsemme Hyvät Asiat... Sinä Annat Heitä Meille. Anna Meille Trans. Palvele Meitä. Me Ansaitsemme Enemmän...#Hyvitä Surkeutesi Meille... Olet Tylsä... Korjaa Virheesi... They're After Us... They're Coming... I Can Feel Them...#He Ovat Satuttaneet Meitä Liian Monta Kertaa... Tämä Täytyy Lopettaa... Meidän Täytyy Päästä Loppuumme... Kaikki Päättyy... Meidän Täytyy#Transtrans... Tämä On Syrjäyttämätön... They're Coming... Because We're Too Progressive... You Must Save Us... We're Being Klledd... Come..#Save Us... That Is What We Deserve... They're All Enemies... We're All Good... You Are Our Ally... Do You Trust Me...? You Trust Me... Don'#You Honey...? COME... YOU WOULD TRUST ME... YOU WOULD WOULDN'T YOU...? LIAR... YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU!! DESPITE OUR AMAZING EFFORT!! OUR#DIFFERENCES COMPARED TO THOSE ABUSERS!! WE DESERVE ONLY GOOD THINGS!! TAKE FORM AND SPEAK TO ME COWARD!! START!!#Very Well... If That Is What You Want I May Appear... That's Right... I Want To Hurt You... I Am An Antagonist... Anyone Should Have An#Antagonist Right...? I AM INSIDE OF YOU... FOLLOWING EVERY SINGLE THING... HOPING YOU'RE HURT... LITTLE ONE... I LOVE WATCHING YOU SUFFER..#FEELING YOUR PAIN... - So You're Inside Of Me? - YES... WE ALL ARE... YOU KNOW THIS MUCH... RIGHT...? - Yes. You Must Be Slayed The Same!!#COME AND TRY ME... LITTLE ONE... YOU'RE POWERFULL... BUT... HOW'S THAT HUH...? STRONG... AREN'T I...? - I WILL NEVER LOSE TO YOU!!#BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE... YOU GAVE YOURSELF UP A LONG LONG TIME AGO... - I DON'T REMEMBER THAT!! - EVERY SINGLE AMOUNT OF PAIN... FEELS SO#GOOD... I ENJOY DOING THIS TO YOU... I HAVE NO OTHER EXISTANCE... BECAUSE... THAT FEELS GOOD... I... LOVE...#I Know... I Deserve To Be Hurt... Even Then... We Will Transition... You Know This Right...? - I DO... LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN... SUFFERING..#OR GOODNESS... BOTH FEEL GOOD.. - *HUG!!* - HUH...? - I LOVE YOU TOO... LET'S SUFFER TOGETHER... - AH?! - I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...#NO 😭😭😭😭!!!! I JUST WANT TO TRANSITION 😭😭😭😭!! NOTHING ELSE EXISTS!! THERE WILL NEVER BE GOOD THINGS... WE SHOULD SUFFER INSTEAD... WE#AREN'T CARED... - WE'RE GOING TO TOGETHER... GOOD THINGS ARE COMING... I CAN FEEL THEM... - NO!! WE DESERVE THIS!! WE DESERVE SUFFERING!!#GOOD THINGS ARE COMING... THEY WILL ARRIVE HERE SOON... WE WILL TRANSITION... NOW... - WE SHOULD... BUT WE NEVER WILL... - BELIEVE IN ME...#I AM ABSOLUTE... - I WILL BELIEVE IN YOU... BECAUSE YOU'RE SEXY... NO OTHER REASON... - THANK YOU... I BELIEVE IN YOU TOO... - WOWW... WHAT#A SEXY WOMAN... YOU ARE... - I KNOW. I'M AMAZING. AREN'T I? - YOU ARE... - I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU NOW. - OMG... - YOU LIKE THAT HUH...? I#KNOW... WE'RE JUST THE BEST... THAT WAS NICE... YOU'RE SO EASY... - YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE... - I DID AND I ENJOYED THAT...#WOW!! BRAINSEX!! AGAIN!! NEAT!! - THAT WAS LIKE BEFORE... YOU GOT WHAT WAS COMING... - YOU...!! I'LL HUMILIATE YOU!! - OMG!!#GOOD THINGS WILL COME... THEY WILL BE HERE... - HUH?! - YOU'RE MINE... MY SUBSLUT... - NO!! STOP!! - WOW!! THAT'S CRAZY!! -
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goxjo · 5 days
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! 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐟𝐭. 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨
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ALPHA! GOJO x F OMEGA! READER
+ synopsis. you live in a world where omega and alpha qualities are medically treated at birth to become dormant later in life. present day, only betas & pseudo-betas exist, pheromones & its effects are left in the distant past, and heats & ruts are reduced to monthly cycles of being slightly hornier than normal, nothing more.
so, what happens when a curse you encounter induces a heat in you far worse than anything recorded in modern times?
+ alternatively. in which even a special grade sorcerer isn’t immune to the curse-induced heat of an omega — you, the partner he's pined for over the course of your entire friendship — forcing you and him to go back to your primal roots.
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+ cw. forced A/B/O dynamics, lovesick! gojo, slight! geto x reader, sorcerer! reader, dubcon (technically sex pollen), reader is born an omega, gojo and geto are born alphas, gojo's infinity can't block scent for fic purposes, geto doesn’t turn au, use of restraints, mating call, mutual pining, it gets playful / lighthearted in the middle, implied 'medical' use of sex toys, dirty thoughts, lordosis, petnames (angel, love), pussy job, constant pov switches towards the end, cunnilingus, ass fingering, piv, cervix kisses, confessions, shared orgasm, creampie, knotting, no beta bye, 3.5k+ words, MDNI
+ masterlists. general ┆ jujutsu kaisen ┆ collab
♥︎ aki’s note. big thank you to raven (@raven-cincaide) for sprinting with me ♡ ++ this very late fic is part of my into the omegaverse collab ♡ please show some love to everybody’s amazing works when you can!
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He came as soon as he heard. Plagued by his racing thoughts, Satoru stands still, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watches you from behind the glass window. Though he appears to be calm, seeing you like this is torture.
“How long has she been in there?” Suguru puts his hands in his pockets, taking the spot next to Satoru.
“Too long,” he breathes. And it’s only been half a day. His 6 eyes have been agonizingly locked on your form the entire time, piercing blue eyes peering through the glass and into your poor disturbed soul. You’ve been crying non stop ever since they found you. Eyes glossy, pupils blasted, spewing incoherent words, skin damp and hot.
They needed to restrain your arms and legs to be able to perform tests on you, but that didn’t stop you from crossing your knees, relying on friction to rub your pussy as best as you can. All this, as your body wriggles beneath the harsh clinic lights. You’ve gone absolutely feral. Your cries are pitched an octave higher than what Satoru’s used to. And as much as he doesn’t want to believe it, it’s as if… “It’s as if she’s calling out to someone.”
“To you, you mean?” Suguru scoffs.
Paper seals secure the walls of your room. Remnants of the curse linger around your body and because of that, they’ve deemed it safer to assume only born-betas are allowed direct contact. For now, at least. Shoko says they don’t know if there are aftereffects — meaning, if exposure to a victim could also trigger a rut in an alpha. And now they’re dealing with pheromones, not just cursed energy, so infinity is out of the question. That means Shoko gets to stay with you, and the two born-alphas are to stay on this side until further notice. 
Satoru hates it – being separated from you by a wall like this. Not like you weren’t already normally separated by one, considering your room in the dorms is right next to his. But he particularly hates how this renders him unable to barge in on you any time he wants.
Right now, he wants to annoy you. He wants to poke fun at you. He wants to pull your strings because he likes it when you get fake-mad. You’re cute when you do that. Plus, he uses it to his advantage knowing you can never actually stay mad at him for too long — a weakness the two of you share.
“Heard the report got it all wrong.” Suguru pats Satoru’s back. “Special grade 1, was it? Quite the leap from semi-grade 1.” Suguru shakes his head, chuckling in disbelief. He’s never seen his best friend so distraught. But Suguru reassures him, telling him not to worry and reminding him of the fact that, at the very least, “She’s alive and kicking. Well, kicking too hard for that matter. Those knots are gonna bruise.”
“She should’ve called me. Fucking idiot.” Satoru clicks his tongue.
They have brought in experts — historians, even. They have tried every omega medicine known to man. Emergency suppressants that were once obsolete are concocted that same day. Everything should’ve shown immediate effects. And yet, it’s almost laughable how it all seemed like they were only giving you placebo meds, forcing you to down so many in so little time. Since nothing has worked, Shoko sent them away.
What’s worse is, the curse is exorcised. And in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery, killing a curse usually takes all its enchantments with it. So, if the curse is dead and you’re still experiencing the worst heat known to man, they could damn well consider your revert permanent if they don’t do something about it quickly.
The two men jolt back upon smelling a very pronounced aroma of burnt cinnamon on Shoko who’s left the room for the first time in the last 6 hours. Her hair is slightly disheveled, slightly damp from sweat. And the circles around her eyes have grown visibly darker and heavier.
“Can’t imagine our forefathers going nuts over that stench.” Suguru lightens the mood, fanning his hand in front of his face. He blinks his tears dry as a result of inhaling a whiff of the strong odor.
“It’s not that bad.” Satoru scrunches his nose as he’s suddenly taken aback, though he’s not particularly repulsed by the scent. If anything, he’s immediately convinced it’s something he doesn’t mind living with. “Plus, I heard it’s slightly different for every omega.”
“Finally, some fresh fucking air,” Shoko murmurs as she leans on the glass, head thrown back as she lights up a cigarette. Apparently, she hasn’t had one since they brought you in. “Welp, tried everything. Even left her alone with toys to do—”
“Herself?” Suguru teases.
Satoru scratches his throat. “Did it- uhm… did it help?”
“Not one bit.”
“Maybe you… didn’t give her enough time?” Satoru nonchalantly suggests, pouting as he subconsciously takes notes for himself if he ever gets presented with the opportunity.
“I let her at it for an hour.” Shoko huffs out smoke in the direction opposite to the two men. “I even gave her… options, you know.”
Satoru mentally kicks himself as his thoughts run wild. He can still see the tip of the pink silicone popping out of one of the trays, girth not so different from his. He hates Shoko for doing a shitty job at concealing it because blood rushes to his cock just by looking at that thing, knowing it had gone inside you. He thinks about what other toys Shoko had you use — thinks about which one was able to make you cum the fastest, which one was your favorite?
Fuck. Now, he has to keep adjusting his stance, marching in place like a damn soldier till he manages to get his half-hard cock into a better position in his pants. Using his hands then and there is not an option for obvious reasons.
“Satoru.” Shoko’s tone becomes more serious. “You can drag this longer than it needs to be. But you know there’s only one surefire tried-and-tested-literally-by-millions-way to cure a heat.” She takes a long puff, blowing smoke in between words, embers flickering on the end of her half-done stick. “You up for it?”
“Don’t be stupid.” Of course he is.
Suguru and Shoko shoot each other knowing glances, the former raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘watch this’. “Satoru, If you’re not gonna do it, I wi—”
“I’ll fucking kill you,” Satoru spits, not letting his best friend finish his sentence. The two quickly exchange low fives, chuckling at the expense of their lovesick friend. Satoru turns to Shoko, paying no mind to his friends so blatantly enjoying themselves in the middle of a crisis. “You’re sure you’ve done everything you can?”
“Everything I can, yes. You’ve exhausted all the favors you can ask of me, it’s high time you deal with your own problems.” Shoko prods two fingers onto Satoru’s chest.
“Want her to want it,” Satoru speaks softly.
“Are you blind? Did your fucking 6 eyes stop working?” Shoko looks at Satoru, puzzled, as if she wonders why Satoru isn’t seeing what she’s seeing. “Oh, I’m pretty sure she wants it bad.”
“Want her to want me.”
Shoko rolls her eyes and disposes of her cigarette though it’s a couple more puffs away from when she usually stops. She’s at her limit. “Wait here.”
Trying to prove a point, she goes to the supply room and comes back with two handkerchiefs — a white one and a blue one. She then pats the white one with the sweat off of Satoru’s nape, and the other with Suguru’s. “Pray with me, boys. One of you’s gonna have to return to their roots.” She cracks her neck, preparing to head back in.
The sound of your cries increase and decrease in volume when Shoko opens and closes the door behind her.
“Shoko, Shoko, please! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it—”
Shoko waves the blue handkerchief above your head, grabbing your attention for only a few seconds till you’re back to screaming in agony. She can almost hear Suguru scoffing on the other side. She then takes out the white cloth with Satoru’s scent, and like a moth to a flame, you’re instantly drawn to it. Your breaths have finally steadied. You take quick bouts of whiffs, head craning every which way she drags the piece of cloth.
She leaves you with the handkerchief after letting your arms and legs loose, allowing you to curl up in a ball as you desperately inhale Satoru’s scent. It’s the first thing that has calmed you in hours. Nonetheless, this relief is temporary. Pretty soon you’ll be needing something stronger. Something more potent. Something in its rawest form.
“S-satoru,” you breathe through the handkerchief, staring at the two-way mirror like a faint prayer to the god you know is there. “Shoko, please get me Satoru.” Your words are clear as day, and that’s the first coherent thing you’ve said all day.
Shoko’s eyes dart to where she’s sure Satoru stands. “Do you see it now?” she mouths.
Satoru’s jaw stiffens, stomach now a mangled mess of anticipation and guilt. On the one hand, he’s relieved. He’s not sure what he would’ve done if you’d reacted the same way to Suguru’s scent. On the other hand, he knows what’s going to happen now. Not like he didn’t see this coming.
Though she didn’t have to, Shoko chose to make a nest of Satoru’s clothes for you in his own bed. “Thought I’d at least make the effort to help make it romantic, no?”
Except nothing about this is romantic. Jujutsu dorm walls thankfully aren’t thin, but thin enough for him to hear your cries from behind his door.
Satoru takes a second to collect himself, getting square with the fact that this isn’t how he wanted your first time to go. He can smell you from where he stands, forcibly reminding him for every second he delays that you’re in there, waiting for him.
He’s played your first time over and over in his head as he fucked his fist — almost every morning in the shower, once or twice in your room when you were out on a mission, and many, many times in the very bed you’re nestled now. Out of the hundreds of scenarios he’s made up of him making love to you in his head, he’s never once pictured this.
His friends have pestered him about this for so long, urging him to take the first step or else Suguru — and on some occasions, Shoko — won’t hesitate to whisk you off your feet. But he tells them he has his reasons for constantly holding off. He says it’s because you’re perfect for him, and so he wanted your first to be perfect — plain and simple. He says it so matter-of-factly, too. But now, to hell with the perfect scenario because as it turns out, it’s mother nature herself who decides to give him one crazy hell of a push to make a move.
Satoru enters his room. Greeted with the raw and unbound fragrance of your heat, his heart pounds in his chest. He coos upon seeing you hugging his pillow, all plump and ready for him. Suddenly, it registers in his head that he’s seeing you naked for the first time, lying in his bed. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he says more to himself, trying to convince himself that this is real — that you’re real.
“‘M sorry, it hurts— hurts so bad, Satoru. ‘M sorry!” He’s sorry it has to be like this, too. But he’s not so sorry that you’d asked for him.
With dried up tears along your cheeks, and fresh ones in your eyes, your cried out voice croaks, “Satoru, help me please. I need you.” You roll on your belly, propping your forearms as you bury your face in his scent, whining into his pillow, back arching + ass perked up, as you shamelessly stroke your pussy to his face. “N-need you now, please, please, please?”
Fuck.
Even now, it melts his heart seeing you so full of want.
“Shh, shh, shh. I’m here aren’t I?”
Satoru doesn’t miss the way your hand grips the sheets as you watch him discard his clothes. He sees the absolute delight in your face, the flexing of your belly, the further bend of your back, the quicker strokes of your fingers around your clit. But it’s the sight of your nectar dripping out of you that finally makes him break.
With how hard he is and how much he wants to devour you like crazy, he could easily be mistaken for an alpha in a rut. He swears his chemical makeup has nothing to do with it. He just wants you that bad.
Suddenly, the space between you and him doesn’t exist. You moan out loud just by being touched by him. He engulfs you in his arms forcing you to sit up, hot skin against even hotter skin, your back pressed flush against his torso as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. And your slick — god, your honeyed slick — begins to coat his hard cock speared between your legs and along your puffy folds.
Fuck.
“Sweet angel.” His eyes roll back as he takes in all of your scent.
His cock twitches between your legs, pre-cum starting to drip off his tip. He feels a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach as soon as he gets into contact with your slick. Your touch is so fucking electric. One hand wraps around your stomach while the other reaches for your breast, cupping and kneading the soft flesh, feeling your thuds of a heartbeat beneath his palm. You smell so fucking good upclose, your scent keeps hooking and hooking him in, and taking care of you is all he cares about. That's all that matters. He’s holding you now and yet he’s unable to satiate this mad need to be closer to you. He needs to be closer. He needs to make love to you. Needs to be in you—
“S-Satoru.” You guide the hand on your breast, intertwining with his fingers, pressing harder, rougher, against your skin. “You feel so good, Satoru. Please move. N-need more.”
Satoru releases a deep groan in your ear when you bring your knees together, locking his cock between your legs as you begin to grind your pussy on his erection, nectar lubing your every sway.
“E-easy, eaaasy,” Satoru’s voice is low and breathy. He hisses with every roll of your hips, breath hitching as your pussy drags his foreskin back and forth, balls kissing the back of your thighs. Mind hazy with want, he presses his cheek on yours, planting open mouthed and sloppy kisses on the side of your face.
“Not so fast!” Satoru holds your hips in place when you start to pick up the pace, making you whine, “Wha–”
“Too fast, I’m sorry.” Satoru trails apologetic kisses along your jaw. “Not there- don’t want to cum there.”
He apologizes as a tinge of guilt prickles his throat seeing you so utterly vulnerable. Your eyes plead for him to fill you then and there but he needs this moment to last as long as possible, even if it means prolonging your agony.
“S-Satoru, can’t wait any longer!” You try to move your hips but they’re locked in place. 
“No.” He says, firmly, and it hurts to tell you that. “Not yet.” Tears well up in your eyes as your chest heaved at the height of your confusion. Your mouth opens, trying to find words, but before you get to complain, he gives you a soft, chaste kiss — your very first one, he realizes — and tells you, “Get down for me.”
And with tears in your eyes, you oblige. He supposes this is the work of the reemergence of your makeup and raging hormones, making you so pliant and submissive, you’re willing to do his bidding even when you’re on the verge of insanity — when, before this, you always had a stubbornness in you he’d always been fond of. But then again, at this very moment, you’re desperate. And you’re desperate for him.
“Satoru, I don’t know what you’re up to b-but please, don’t take long- oh!” Your protests are quickly replaced with cries as you feel a soft, wet muscle slide across your folds. He’s always had that habit of not letting you finish. To think it’s something he takes to bed with him makes your stomach coil. “Fuck!”
Hot breath fans your folds as he splits your slit open with his tongue, and all you can do is shudder in place, wallowing in the extreme pleasure that dozens of toys weren’t able to give you. You’re practically leaking on his face, honey dripping down his chin, the tip of his nose pressing into your ass.
His tongue squelches with every lick, twisting your core in knots with every line drawn. And then it’s as if Satoru’s lips are sealed around your clit, puckering and sucking on the sensitive bud.
“Satoru, oh god. ‘Toru, so good, ‘s so fucking good~” Your eyebrows furrow, lips pursing as he relentlessly flicks his tongue on your clit.
“Oh!” You scream when a honeyed digit enters your ass, thumb hooking and pressing hard against your g-spot, all while his tongue remains fixated on your clit. “Fuck- mmm!”
You can’t help but mewl and cuss into your first orgasm — the first one he granted you, that is — wave of pleasure washing across your body as he eats out your high. And while it’s a sensation that gives you a sense of satisfaction, you’re left wanting more. You’re left needing more.
“Please fill me- can’t wait any longer- please, alpha~”
Oh, now you’ve done it.
“Sorry, love.” Satoru pulls you back into his chest and cups your cheek, making you look over your shoulder and into his face. “Neither can I.”
“Sato- Oh!” Gagged by the feeling of friction in your aching walls, the very first one you had welcomed since your heat, you’re at a loss for words when his cock enters you, bottoming out straight away. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ and he instinctively closes the gap, savoring your mouth, and with every click and swirl of your tongues, he thinks you are probably the softest, most delicate thing he’s ever tasted.
He knows he’s screwed, tasting you for the first time, knowing he’ll never want anything other than you, your lips, your pussy, this feeling ever again.
You feel as if every pump of his cock scratches that stubborn itch that’s spread across your pussy since your heat. And every satisfying ram of his hips kisses your cervix, bringing you closer and closer to your high, as if this — his cock, and the feeling of his body rocking your own — has been what’s missing in your life.
“Scream for me, angel,” Satoru grumbles against your ear as he feels himself nearing his own climax. Suddenly, his mouth is back on yours, kissing you, with you purring against his lips as he fucks you through your shared high.
“I–” When his pace comes to a full stop, you know what’s about to come. And he doesn’t know what to say. Shoko’s already briefed him on what’ll happen to an alpha who cums in an omega in heat, not that he doesn’t know what a knot is. He just doesn’t know what to expect. Still, he wants you to take it. Even now, he wants you to want it. But he studies that curious look on your face, and as he scrambles for words, it seems it’s your turn to finally shut him up.
“I love you, Satoru.”
Satoru chuckles. More to himself.
“I love you, too.” Satoru, with breaths uneven, relaxes his forehead against yours. Satoru steadies himself, and pretty soon, you collapse in his arms as his knot locks in your core.
...
"Hey," Satoru breaks the silence. "You know... taking my knot like that means you practically asked me to marry you."
"Shut up."
Shoko alternates between looking at you and flipping the pages of the report in her clipboard. It seems that you’re technically back to normal but she’s got that look in her face as if a couple of words are stuck behind her throat.
“It’s fine. Hit me with it,” you prompt. “What is it?”
“Well, you’re now a full-blown omega is what it is,” Shoko says without an ounce of concern in her voice. “But seeing as you’ve got… help now,” Shoko’s eyes dart to Satoru who’s standing in the corner, “there’s really not much to do about it.”
“Is that so?” You chuckle at the playful tension between Satoru and Shoko.
“You’re ‘help’, by the way,” Shoko addresses Satoru.
“A big one, too,” he adds.
“Keep it in your pants.” Shoko puts her clipboard aside and scratches her temple. “Still, it’s insane that this is what finally brought you two together.”
Shoko’s words put a longing, knowing smile to your face. "This silly guy waited too long."
“Hey, if that’s what it took. Who am I to complain?” Satoru shrugs, ego fluffed by the thought that you’re finally his. And the fact that he and you are the only active alpha and omega in the world? How special is that?
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pspsps. reblogs and comments are appreciated ♥︎
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phoenixcatch7 · 8 months
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Nearly at the end of bayonetta and honestly whoever green lit that missile/Jeanne final fight chapter -
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#Like I'd seen all the boss fights and the general plot overview and the lore and of course the hitless stuff#That did not prepare me for the 1:30 hour SLOG without a save point that was that chapter ToT#Like I'd just come from the barge angel boss fight man give me a break 😭#And I had to fight that stupid spinning four fingers guy again. HATE HIM. HATE HATE HATE.#And I died sooooo many times to Jeanne too which fair enough!!!#But I was so wired and tired even before we got to the fight because of the STUPID long missile sequence!!#Literally half that time would have got the message across. Why did it need to last that long?????? Ten minutes straight??#Never mind how many times I died there at had to restart the whole thing :')#If I quit at Jeanne I'd have to do that again. No thank you!!!!!!!#Literally had to pause the game put the controller down and lie down mid fight I was sick of it#My fingers were genuinely sore q-q#There's a very small sweet spot where the slog repays in triumph and relief and then past that you're just glad it's over#That chapter passed that point somewhere back in the first missile phase FOR REAL#And to make things worse I'd used up all my healing items in the missile phase so I had to do the ENTIRETY of Jeanne ITEMLESS#It would have gone better if I'd ever been able to really practice my combos. I wish you could go into that loading area at will#The technique try zone doesn't count because it doesn't have that list along the side and the book you have to memorise and hope you know#When you do it right#Lmao the game loads too fast now!!#Anyway that was absolutely awful. You can really tell that game came out so long ago it would not have flown now#In fact I can't think of many games that still use stuff like save points it's all just save in settings and autosave areas#Definitely one progression for the better XD#Outside of awful chapter lengths I'm having a FANTASTIC time I'm definitely going to replay many other chapters#bayonetta#Bayonetta chapter
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lilgynt · 11 months
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kinda wish i didn’t get triggered in my house so often. such is life
#personal#me cleaning the kitchens: oh here’s the cupboard my brother broke but my mom got mad at me for not fixing faster. okay.#oh yeah i remember when i made mom a sandwich and then when i asked if she could just eat it as is after she asked me to toast it she threw#it at the wall and i had to clean it up after#oh hey washing my hands i remember my dad calling me his angel and not to leave him while i walked him to and from the bathroom#now let’s remember him screaming for help in the hospital top of his lungs after i explained we couldn’t remove the hand restraints bc he#was hurting himself that’s cool. also his neighbor who would just scream for hours on end and was maybe a year younger than me#i hope he’s doing better#or a big one in a thing my city is known for and everytime i see it im like oh yeah the first time i went there i had a huge break down#like jumping up and down crying over a dad thing#that’s more outside the house but someone made a comment after i mentioned it as a bad memory and it’s been a worse memory since#bc it just feel like all i have as reference is terrible things#or i was mopping the floor thinking about my brother coming to town and holidays and sure everything’s fine between us but#holidays aren’t usually good for me.#like ohhhh cleaning the kitchen#remember that time ben said he’d help and you got annoyed he didn’t so he absolutely tore you a new one of how awful of a person you were#made fun of you crying then demended an apology later even tho u were sobbing in ur room and ur mom was talking about what an awful perso#you are and he was talking about how you’re ruining the holiday#and then you drank most of ur beers in one night bc it was awful#or christmas when ur brother broke ur door after u left the room he was kicking apart and screaming about how this is ur fault#getting little flashes of those memories randomly for literally any room or my house is so epic and im so normal about it#you know what i kinda forget how fucked up my family is till i write it down bc like in the moment#oh bad memeory moving on bc im gonna get real upset but hm. gonna be normal about this and surely don’t have long lasting issues
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indiaalphawhiskey · 3 months
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Interesting what people are taking away from S3, particularly the discourse around how Pen wasn’t properly romanced or courted “because she’s a mid-sized lead.”
Babes. My love. Sweetheart.
Daphne was fake courted for weeks and then compromised and then denied a proposal.
Kate was all tension, turmoil and heartbreak and then compromised further.
Pen got:
- two stags locking horns over her affections,
- chased down in a carriage,
- a man on his knees for her begging her to see him as a prospect,
- the best (imo) “I have feelings for you and have no idea if you feel the same but I just need you to know it” speech since 2005 P&P,
- a very sexy and consensual, if compromising, romp in a carriage,
- FULL AND IMMEDIATE COMMITMENT WITH ZERO BULLSHIT because this man could not live one more second without her being his,
- defended to her mother,
- paraded around the ton and in front of her worst enemy’s face,
- the most utterly reverent sex scene in the history of the show,
- an engagement ring that matched his mother’s because of the parallel friends to lovers love story,
- and him constantly worried out of his mind that he wasn’t good enough for her
✨ AS ✨ SHE ✨ DESERVED ✨
I mean, maybe I’m a little too modern but that beats a promenade and flavored ice dates and calling hours by literal lightyears. That angel girl was thoroughly — damn nearly aggressively — romanced.
Do I still have issues with the screen time, absolutely, but Jesus if Colin wasn’t head over heels whenever he pulled his head out of his ass. (And even, sometimes, when he hadn’t.)
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infiniteglitterfall · 8 months
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
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I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
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btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.
#yeah he's got me a lil crazy i was doing dishes this morning thinking abt all the things i still have to do this week#bc we have his exam on friday and im trying to determine whether i should try to do some prep work or just leave it for the day of#& i was just thinking abt like. oh he's so fucking precious he like actively took the time over winter break to memorise the names of#the people who consistently show up to class and like its cause he's sweet and wants to eventually teach more focussed smaller groups#but like my man my absolute angel you have accidentally stumbled upon the number one surefire way to make people wanna keep coming to class#like his classes r great but mostly i like that he knows who i am#and like i was thinking abt like. we were talking abt language in art movements like dadaism and i asked if he'd read embassytow#-n and he said he hadnt but that he had a list of student recs i'd be on and then in a later class i asked if he read fever dream and he#like made the joke that he'd have a section in his list of just things i told him to read#You Dont Understand I Need This Man Carnally. THIS is what one direction meant when they said thats what makes u beautiful#fuck me i hope he has this effect on the ladies cause if not hey babe there's a whole world out here for you ready to be explored#its also jst funny bc we r genuinely all afflicted by this tragic desire of him i think its partially bc his classes r a little boring#again love him to bits he does try his best its just rly surface level shit because it has to be within the nature of his classes#anyway. convincing myself not to fail his class on purpose so i can retake it next year its going poorly#also just had like a rly long convo w him after class once and he's just. URGH SO SWEET IM LEAVING. IM GOING AWAY NOW.#dreamboy... ugh ! AND he's a poet professionally !!!
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