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sheacouleecametoslay · 2 years

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Season 10 (2018)

So Season 10 starts off like a 9/10.... I truly thought it was going to be one of the best. But, after The Vixen left, the last four episodes are like a 4/10, which drops the average down. The Werk Room/Untucked scenes become boring. "Breastworld" and "Evil Twins" are two of the worst challenges in the show's entire herstory. Especially the latter, which forced the queens to reveal their insecurities on TV, and were put in the bottom if they weren't cruel enough to themselves. Not to mention the cringe worthy editing to make it seem like the Good Twins and Evil Twins were on the stage at the same time. AND SHOWING THE GOOD TWINS WATCHING BACKSTAGE. Really...? Also, Ru is as high as kite during his walkthrough with the social media influencers in the Make Over episode, which is actually unintentionally funny. And then the finale has such disappointing lips syncs compared to Season 9, between Asia's dead butterflies, Aquaria's trip being edit out, and "Bang Bang" being a complete clusterfuck as the top 3 try to outdo each other with their stunts. The Vixen is responsible for like 90% of the drama this season. She had a major intense fight in 3 different Untucked episodes. First she battled Aquaria, then Eureka, and finally her friends. 9% of the drama comes from Aquaria being conceited and Asia going on random rants. The final 1% is Kalorie and Yuhua having an attitude, but it's minimal and they aren't around for long anyways. The premiere also sets up this pre-season feud between Aquaria and Cracker because they apparently look alike. We've already been there with Alyssa vs Coco, and this "rivalry" didn't amount to much after episode 2. As for the other challenges, PharmaRusical might be the worst Rusical. It was so disappointing they did a second Rusical to make up for it! - the Cher one, and it wasn't much better. The Snatch Game was mostly funny, but Asia and the Vixen playing Beyonce and Blue Ivy, respectively, was rough. Bossy Rossy was a solid challenge, but the adult babies creeped me out. The Last Ball on Earth had some good looks though. And the Drag Con panel was a nice new addition. Plus the mini-challenge where they had to sit on items and identify them was stupid enough to be funny. Season 10 continues this new trend of having a big name celebrity guest judge. This time it's Christina Aguilera, who walks the runway pretending to be Farrah Moan as a fake out. I'm not sure when the trauma stories during the make-up sessions became more prominent, but I definitely noticed them more in Season 10. Probably because Season 10 is when production switched the episode length to 60 minutes (90 with commercials). Say what you will about Season 15 episodes being too short, I never had an issue with Seasons 1-9 being only 40 minutes long. I never felt like I was missing anything important. I get exhausted when I try to binge watch these longer episodes, and there's definitely some filler towards the end of this season. Also, Season 10 has 6 main characters (Aquaria, Eureka, Asia, Monet, the Vixen, and Mo) plus Vanjie being iconic, and the other 7 queens don't stand out as much. The unofficial Lip Sync Assassin title kept changing hands - from Monet to Vixen to Kameron, which was pretty cool. I got sick of all the New York mentions though. And the Double Shantay was such obvious riggory in Eureka's favour. I imagine production planned for Kameron to leave at the final 6 instead, but she slayed the lip sync.

Queens Ranking: 14. Eureka A whole season of Eureka... including a sympathy edit, crying in front of the judges, and bringing up trauma stories when she flopped. Just look at everyone hugging her in episode 2. Furthermore, she acted like the Vixen was the problem, claiming that the Vixen verbally attacked her and disliked her for no reason, while Eureka did nothing wrong. Which was BS. Eureka admitted to Mayhem afterwards that she was testing Vixen's reaction. She then lied to the Vixen about the "y'all"/"you" thing and used abuse trauma to excuse her big personality. She also pressured Kameron to sing and accused Asia of overreacting. She took over in every team challenge. Her confessionals were extra ("...buttholes are clenched", "pussies on fleek"). She thought she was judged at a higher standard. She was oddly defensive about her Make Over. Her friendly supportive chats with everyone felt so phony. She walked off on Untucked because they didn't give her attention. Her comments that the Vixen wants power over others, that Asia was jealous of Cracker, that "[the girls] always second guess every time I'm doing well" rubbed me the wrong way. Eureka came off superior, smug, and condescending. The only time I agreed with her was when the Vixen criticized her Snatch Game. But good for her finding body positivity in the baby challenge. In the competition: Eureka flopped in week 2, when she looked "out of it" during PharmaRusical and didn't know the words. But she became a contender soon after. From the "yeah we know girl" line in the End of Days advert, to playing a baby in Bossy Rossy (whatever), to being the audience favourite in the Drag Con panel ("proportionizing!!"), to her Honey Boo Boo in Snatch Game (even if she kept repeating the drawing pictures joke). She's already done Drag Con so no wonder she won that. But then Eureka was tentative in the Cher Rusical, and the hairdryer bit in "Breastworld" fell flat. I didn't like her Best Drag, Silver Foxy and Good Twin runways either. Glitterific was probably her best one. Also, Eureka just did the splits and high kicks in every single lip sync. And so many outfit reveals in the finale. 13. Dusty Ray Bottoms I don't have much of an opinion on Dusty. She gave me Milk vibes. She always had this creepy smile/eyes. She labelled herself as "dark, glamorous and trashy" with a punk style, but I wasn't into her drag. She thought she would've won PharmaRusical if she wasn't on the losing team. But seemed reasonable when explaining her views on situations in Untucked. Like when she called Aquaria standoffish lol. She also had that gay conversation therapy story. Otherwise, Michelle didn't want Dusty doing the dots on her face all the time, which left her feeling torn about it because it was her signature look. In the competition: Well, I did NOT like the dots on Dusty's face. I didn't like her runways either. Dusty's Drag on a Dime Tin Man outfit looked scrappy. While her Martian outfit didn't follow the theme. Her episode 2 runway wasn't bad though. As for the performance challenges, I thought Dusty was fine in both of them. Not top 3 worthy though. 12. Kameron Michaels Kameron brought a unique aesthetic as a tattooed, masculine, muscled queen. But she's too dry and matter-of-fact for me to care about. She didn't have much screen time in the early episodes either; aside from being labelled "the trade of the season" and mumbling while brainstorming. She was a quiet queen, who was conditioned to not show emotion. Her later moments include: not celebrating prematurely, keeping her desire to win the challenge a secret, and saying being eliminated would've been easier than eliminating someone. Meanwhile Asia/Cracker/Monet acted like Kameron was crazy for saying she was terrible in "Breastworld"... when she clearly was. And they didn't understand why she walked off on Untucked. Kameron is an introvert, so just let her be? She also flipped out at the final 5 Untucked. Otherwise, Kameron was one of Eureka's besties. In the competition: Kameron was the unexpected Lip Sync Assassin, beating the production faves in the endgame. She won the Cher Rusical by focusing on the mannerisms, and she was one of the better ones in Bossy Rossy. But she was too exaggerated in PharmaRusical, she was a dry narrator in the Fibstr advert, and I didn't agree with her "high" placement in the Ball - I thought her Martian look was junky. Her "Breastworld" character had the most annoying whiny voice too. Her Make Over was basic. And I didn't like her Evil Twin outfit. My fave Kameron runways were the elaborate feather one and Silver Foxy. 11. Miz Cracker Cracker had a bigger edit than I remembered. Her confessionals came off too self-controlled - like every word was carefully planned out... or corny ("...not even a partridge in a pear tree!"; "Dr Dill is Jewish!"; "American Horror Story: Cher Edition"). Asia even called her robotic. It's because Cracker came from a sheltered, poor childhood with high expectations. She felt dread in challenges, even talking to herself during one of them. And she was vocal in group chats. She slammed her drink down at the Vixen. She gave a learn to love yourself speech and an appreciate what you have speech on Untucked. She built Monet and Mo up. She hard criticized Eureka's Make Over. She confronted Aquaria about her overconfidence in this very indirect way lol. And she disputed Asia's claims of being used. Also lol at Asia and Mo's reactions to Cracker's name in the premiere. As for the Aquaria copycat thing, I don't believe Cracker intended it. In the competition: Cracker's Pickle character in Bossy Rossy was her best moment, but she became a comedy queen who couldn't excel in comedy challenges. She sounded mean in the Drag Con panel and neutral toned in "Breastworld". Still, she tried something with her Ball looks. Her Make Over was beautiful (she waited so long for that win too). And both of her hair headpiece runways were cool. In the end, Cracker's Evil Twin outfits didn't match and she went soft in the self-critiques, but that challenge was stupid anyways. 10. Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams Kalorie was known as a "twerk queen", but her twerking fell into "one trick pony" territory. She didn't have a ton of content on the actual episodes either, aside from her story about being bullied for her weight. She was quite bitter on Untucked though. In the first one, she was upset that some of the safe girls didn't use as much stuff. She proceeded to criticize Monet and Aquaria's outfits, while throwing Blair under the bus. Then in the second Untucked, she took issue with the group not asking her about her critiques. But she had a sweet goodbye after that at least. In the competition: Kalorie's Drag on a Dime money outfit looked sloppily put together. While in PharmaRusical, her foot slipped off the chair lol. Her second runway was basic too. But she was fun in the first lip sync, where she twerked and pulled out dollar bills into the splits. 9. Mayhem Miller Mayhem was the timid and sensitive one. She waited so long to get on the show, and then she cried on the first Untucked because she finally felt validated. She comforted her bestie Eureka on Untucked. She played peacemaker between Vixen and Eureka after their massive fight. And in her final Untucked, she gave this big speech about being grateful for the opportunity. She was at peace with her growth. That said, I don't agree with Mayhem saying that her voice wasn't heard in the team discussion. Mo gave her an opportunity to claim the narrator role, but Mayhem didn't want to be seen as aggressive. I understand that, but this is a cutthroat competition and being passive won't get you far. Indeed, Kameron snatched that narrator role and Mayhem was left with one line. In the competition: Mayhem was solid with runways. She won the first challenge thanks to her black gloves outfit. I also thought she was the second-best overall in the Ball. Her pink cowgirl runway was cute too. But the acting challenges caused Mayhem's premature downfall. She didn't appear in the Fibstr advert until the very end, where her character was confusing. And she was the most forgettable in Bossy Rossy. But she slayed that "Celebrity Skin" lip sync - it was intense in the best way. 8. Yuhua Hamasaki Yuhua had fun responses during the entrances - "you’re not a real woman either!" Then she couldn't differentiate the black queens.💀In episode 3, she offered bad ideas while brainstorming with Monet, and didn't realize their ad already had a name. Then she snapped at Aquaria and Monet for not letting her use a fake nose, while saying "nobody asked for Aquaria's opinion" in confessional. Monet did sound bossy tbf. She also kept giving excuses to the judges - from saying she had something better during the second runway, to feeling rushed during the advert challenge. She still had one of my favourite entrance looks though. In the competition: Yuhua seemed like a strong competitor at first - with her yellow caution tape ankh and her underrated PharmaRusical performance. But she wasn't funny in the Butterface advert and she misunderstood how to be ugly for it. And then she had to go against Mayhem's impressive lip sync. 7. Blair St. Clair The twinkiest twink to ever twink on Drag Race. Blair had the most UTR edit of the Season 10 cast. She had the "so dot dot dot fill in the blank" confessional, she said "yeah I'm a little sneak attack" in this cute voice, and showed her stats notebook. But her personality was kinda... bland (no offence). She was just happy to be there. When Kalorie threw her under the bus, she avoided the drama and told Aquaria she loved the concept. She was sweet to Mayhem in Mayhem's last Untucked. And she missed her mom a lot, so it was nice when she got that video message. In Blair's final episode, she shared her sex abuse story to the judges. And again on Untucked, where she explained that she needed to be a happier person after that experience. I'm glad she was able to move on from it. In the competition: If PharmaRusical wasn't based on teams, I'd mark Blair as "safe" every single week except the round she left. She's a Broadway queen and can act... but she just wasn't funny. I did like her Drag on a Dime sun protector thing, her Ball looks, plus her Best Drag runway was pretty too. But ultimately, Blair's teammates overran her during the Drag Con panel, when she was trying to moderate. And then she had to lip sync after sharing personal trauma. 6. Monét X Change The narrator of Season 10. Monet had these "high horse" or unaware moments. Particularly in the first Untucked where she thought the judges loved her sponge dress, was surprised that the queens didn't get the concept, defended Cracker to Vixen, told Kalorie "mine looks good and yours doesn't", and said that Kalorie is just bitter. Even after that, she sounded bossy to Yuhua, she acted like Aquaria didn't deserve to win Snatch Game, and she called the Vixen immature and combative. But most of the time, Monet interjected with a congenial approach when there was conflict. Like saying she appreciated the Vixen's realness. And she had fun in confessionals, like she was just hanging out backstage. I also liked her "sweep up the competition" entrance. And she was there for Eureka and Cracker when they needed support. Her English accent story was funny too. In the competition: Monét was Lip Sync Assassin #1. The "nope" wave in "Pound The Alarm" and the hairspray cans and smoking in "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" were fun moments. She wasn't bad in "Good As Hell" either, even breaking a stage light. But, aside from the crossed-eye bit in PharmaRusical, Monét had a rough start. The sponge dress was not couture. The Martian outfit looked unprofessional (the cut; the black marker). That cake bit in Bossy Rossy was confusing. And her neon winter, Denim & Diamonds and Glitterific runways were a mess. She was read for her pussycat wigs too. The sagging boobs runway was creative though. But then Monét found Ru-demption. Her Maya Angelou in Snatch Game was good enough to win. And she had those ad libs in "Breastworld". But of course another design challenge ended her run, with that cheap-looking Make Over. 5. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo "MISS VANJIE... MISS VANJIE... MISS VANJIE" is the most iconic exit line in the show's herstory. It was repeated in practically every episode after. Even without the meme, Vanessa had protentional to be a great TV character. She had this very uhhh... vanjie... way of talking that came off as an authentic personality. She compared RuPaul to the Loch Ness Monster, she said "What the- bitch are we on Big Brother?" when they were de-dragging, and she made a "cleaning crew" comment about Monet's sponges. I loved listening to her talk. So I'm glad Vanjie was given a Shangela-style second chance, even though I haven't watched Season 11 yet. In the competition: Vanjie's Drag on a Dime Barbie doll outfit wasn't in my bottom 3, although her entrance look would be. I get it though - it was like her entire upper body was bloated into a clump of clutter. She held her own against Kalorie in the lip sync though. 4. The Vixen Polarizing but Season 10 is empty without the Vixen. Her entrance line "I'm just here to fight" was right. She immediately called people out, and didn't beat around the bush. She said Cracker "faked it to Season 10", and questioned Monet's pushback over that comment. She exposed Aquaria for acting different to Cracker's face. She clapped back at Aquaria for the borrowed wig remark and the "negative" label. While on Untucked, the Vixen raised an important point about the "angry black woman" stereotype, since Aquaria came for her first and now Aquaria's crying over it. Next, the Vixen tore Eureka to shreds after the "can I go smoke" comment ("you are exactly the girl I did not like on Season 9"); while Eureka made the Vixen look like the aggressor (ugh). Then the Vixen criticized Eureka's Snatch Game performance and called her unprofessional to the judges. But she went too far on Untucked, calling Asia and Mo fake and disloyal for saying she should go home, because friends don't do that. Since the Vixen named Eureka for personal reasons, she assumed everyone else made it personal. She also said she wouldn't let them take away her dream. Finally, in her last Untucked, she called out the non-glitter outfits. The Vixen was passionate about doing bold political drag, and that hurt and anger stayed with her on the show (as she said: "It is impossible being a black gay drag queen in America"). The Vixen refused to change for others; saying you should know how she is, so don't "poke the bear". Otherwise, she paired Eureka and Aquaria to sabotage them. She suggested playing Cracker/Aquaria in the challenge lol. She gave facial reactions at Eureka (the air violin lol). She didn't listen to what roles her teammates wanted in episode 2. And she was supportive to Blair after the sexual assault story. In the competition: The Vixen was Lip Sync Assassin #2. I enjoyed her stunts the first time, but it felt repetitive the second time. She was also the star of PharmaRusical; starting things off with that chair kick. But she really struggled during the middle. Her and Asia were a disastrous duo. She broke character during improv. Blue Ivy in Snatch Game was a bad idea. And she didn't emulate Cher in the second Rusical. Also, her 3 Ball looks could've been executed better. Same with the Drag on a Dime pool noodles. My fave Vixen runways were the peacock, the hats and the glitter construction paper. 3. Aquaria Conceited, self-absorbed, and poised in confessional, but in a non-serious way? "Not only am I great at being myself, but I can also do a stupid silly job of being another great celebrity... catch that?" She delivered some WTF quotes too: "keeping your lip-sync straight, your choreography gay, and your characterization bicurious", "I'm like Gandhi", "I'm the Joan of Arc of this challenge, I'm the martyr to Breastworld", "if you pee clear cheer", the "winning" sport response, and confusing seminary school with semen. And she struggled to form a coherent sentence in the Werk Room. Aquaria was off-putting at times. Like acting unbothered to Cracker's face after sharing the yellow dress story. Acting nasty towards the Vixen for interjecting. And her whole anti-Double Shantay rant because it was unfair to HER (lol at her minimizing the double splits though). Aquaria was portrayed as overconfident, and only caring about her own success. Asia called her unsportsmanlike at one point. But Aquaria made an effort to change after everyone confronted her in episode 3 Untucked. She took the last claimed role for "Breastworld". She had this respecting elders moment. She apologized for the Double Shantay rant. And she was sweet to Asia at the final 4 judging. In the competition: Aquaria delivered unique runways all season - the giant nose rings, the bleeding arrows, the bunny ears, the oil slick mermaid, the glittery angel, and her 3 Ball looks. Her final 4 dress was great too. But Aquaria wasn't just a fashion queen. She stole the scene on the losing team in PharmaRusical. She was underrated as the rival baby in Bossy Rossy. She kept delivering jokes as Melania Trump in Snatch Game. She was a believable robot in "Breastworld". And her Evil Twin sounded evil. Plus she was fierce in the "If" lip sync (from what we saw). The Make Over was the only challenge that Aquaria flopped imo. And Silver Foxy was the only other runway that was a miss, because it didn't match the theme. 2. Asia O'Hara The other narrator of Season 10. Asia's confessionals offered insightful observations on the other queens. She had some funny ones too: ie."And I'm not gonna be no part of it, my teeth were too expensive *smiles*"; "SHE DON'T KNOW THE WORDS"; "I'm not done *puts down drink*". Asia was the mom of the cast, but a brutally honest kind of mom. She clocked Aquaria's anti-Double Shantay rant. She called out Eureka for hounding Kameron to sing. And she had that meaningful conversation with the Vixen. Asia always spoke with this determined conviction. Which sounded harsh when she wasn't "wowed" by Mayhem or when she told the judges that Cracker wasn't a star. At least she apologized for the latter. But lol at her random rants - claiming her team had the harder number, feeling used for helping everyone during the Ball, that her Cher role was set up to fail, that she couldn't get through to Kameron, and hating glitter. Still, Asia threw fun shade ("and your talent is in the bottom 2", "you need to take your make-up up an octave"). I loved her reactions, like during Monet's sponge dress delusions or when Ru slapped her. And she had a sweet moment with Aquaria at the final 4. Also lol at "Girl we don't do that no more ain't you seen the Help?" In the competition: Asia had her highs and lows. Her Drag on a Dime outfit was too much, but she was a stand-out on the losing team in PharmaRusical, and she won the Butterface advert by making faces. But then her first two Ball looks weren't flattering, she was oblivious to the Vixen's cues in Bossy Rossy, she played a hostile Beyonce in Snatch Game, and she forgot her lines in the Cher Rusical. Fortunately Asia recovered in the endgame - playing "Parah Salin" in "Breastworld" and slaying the last two design challenges. She had some of my favourite runways too - the Tweety bird, dandelion, mermaid mask and the glitter clown. But then dead butterflies happened... 1. Mo(nique) Heart The bug eyes. The cartoonish laugh. The screaming whenever shade was thrown. The head/hand movements and voice shifts in confessional to give emphasis to everything. The odd confessionals: "She is gonna give you the ooh ah ah sensation honey", "the kind of trade that will throw you on the wall and you be like 'ohh I think I'm into it'", "America, my face is saying everything you need to know dot com", "Miss Aquafina", "Vixen handed Aquaria her ass in a gift bag gift wrapped there you go Merry Christmas", "RuPaul... thank you... but AHHHH", "I surely picked up them little chicken nuggets honey; dipping sauce; hot mustard", plus her reaction to Monet's English accent thing. She'd often address her confessionals to America too. She mistook giraffe print for brown cow. And she always spoke her mind on Untucked. I agreed with her on Mayhem needing to speak up, and it being fair to say Vixen should go home. Her suspicions of Mayhem throwing her under the bus were correct too! Her "pray the gay away" coming out story was memorable too. In the competition: I'm shocked at Mo having ONE high placement (for the wig snatching in Bossy Rossy). Her Drag on a Dime playing cards outfit was the best. She was funny in the Fibstr advert. She was only bottom 3 in PharmaRusical by default. And she was the funniest in the Drag Con panel. I'm not shocked at Mo's Ball outfits being basic though. She made all her outfits in the Werk Room due to lack of money. Her hats runway was also rough, but I liked the Cookie Monster one. Ultimately, Mo didn't have much depth as Maxine Waters in Snatch Game ("reclaiming my time!") and broke character. And then she forgot the words to the lip sync and took her wig off. Favourite entrance look: Aquaria Challenge ranking: 1. The Last Ball on Earth 2. Snatch Game 3. Drag on a Dime (Design) 4. The Bossy Rossy Show (Improv) 5. "American" Ru-mix (Asia > Aquaria > Kameron > Eureka) 6. Dating App Adverts 7. Drag Con Panel (Branding) 8. Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical 9. Social media kings Make Over 10. PharmaRusical 11. "Breastworld" (Acting) 12. Evil Twins Lip Sync ranking: 1. Monét X Change vs Dusty Ray Bottoms ("Pound The Alarm") 2. Mayhem Miller vs Yuhua Hamasaki ("Celebrity Skin") 3. Eureka vs Kameron Michaels ("New Attitude") (Kameron won this btw) 4. Kameron Michaels vs Monét X Change ("Good As Hell") (should've been the double shantay) 5. Blair St. Clair vs The Vixen ("I'm Coming Out") 6. Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams vs Vanessa Vanjie Mateo ("Ain't No Other Man") 7. Asia O'Hara vs The Vixen ("Groove Is In The Heart") 8. Mayhem Miller vs Monét X Change ("Man! I Feel Like a Woman") (I'd like this more if Monet left her outfit and wig on) 9. Aquaria vs Eureka ("If") 10. Eureka vs Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams ("Best Of My Love") 11. Aquaria vs Eureka vs Kameron Michaels ("Bang Bang") (so chaotic) 12. Top 4 Lip Sync ("Call Me Mother") 13. Kameron Michaels vs Miz Cracker ("Nasty Girl") (I remember nothing about it) 14. Mo(nique) Heart vs The Vixen ("Cut To The Feeling") (second-hand embarrassment part 1) 15. Asia O'Hara vs Kameron Michaels ("Nasty") (second-hand embarrassment part 2) Season ranking so far: 9 > 5 > 6 > AS2 > 4 > 10 > 2 > 7 > AS3 > 3 > 8 > 1 > AS1

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kait16xo · 29 days

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Dance Moms: A New Era: Thoughts (Episode 8)

Trigger Warning for Jonbenet Ramsey’s story in this episode—I’m sure that’s necessary. As usual, spoilers under the cut (sorry y’all this one was in the notes for A MINUTE)

* Candy Sweets move over—Candy Joy is in the house

* Corrine didn’t even do anything last episode why are we still bitching about episode TWO

* Wow the drama clearly affects the children? Who could have guessed?

* Yay Ashlan’s in the high middle! Go girl

* I really expected Gina to be on the top but Audrey did SO good as the lead that I would’ve been pissed otherwise

* Wow Glo learned how to choreograph with 8 kids? Insanity

* Mina being the only one that didn’t clap at the group having everyone lmao

* JONBENET RAMSEY MENTIONED!!

* “A beauty dude” “She doesn’t have much brain cells” Mina’s dialogue takes me clean out

* If Lily gets cut from this team because of Corrine’s

* This juxtaposition of Lisa’s dialogue while teaching Ashlan the Jonbenet story is killing me and not in a good way

* “…they should’ve just locked the doors” STOP 😭

* “This solo is not for me” shhhh I would kill for this solo

* “Did god give you these?” *holds boobs* “no I paid for them!” honest queen

* Well…we had one nice episode of Ashlan not crying

* “God would be very concerned about you…gyrating in church” BAHAHAH

* Lisa…you should know not to bother your kid when she’s clearly stressed out. I can’t believe I’m saying this but let her breathe holy fuck

* These random ass clips of Kim are always exciting

* I’m begging Kim to take Mr. Planner out of his misery

* Oh so Mina’s piece is a subtle dig LOL

* Min is so cute yet intimidating I actually really like her lol

* Ashlan’s makeup 😭 I just know if Jonbenet lived she’d be like “what the fuck”

* “Confidence is amazing but that doesn’f fix technique” girl she doesn’t even have the confidence

* Ik Ashlan’s emotional control isn’t good but why are all these mothers so negative towards her

* “I hit your boob…ew” 😭 meanwhile I would just be beating my mom up for no reason when I was younger than Mina

* Gina getting corrections? 🤨 interesting

* “My daughter knows what she’s doing?” Does she though? It’s okay for her to not be perfect but girl

* Okay let’s not have Audrey do a trick off the bench especially if you have to grab her top every time she lands

* “This is me pageant waving my nerves away” werk

* Does Min realize this kid’s 8 or?? My god she isn’t a boot camp enrollee

* This juxtaposition of Ashlan dancing while Mina’s getting berated is so—

* Whoever uploaded this to Youtube needs to die because WHY ARE WE CUTTING SCENES + DANCES?! WHAT THE FUCK 😭 I can’t win

* Mina is BENDY go girl

* Lilliana should’ve done this solo concept ngl

* Idk why but I prefer Ashlan in the groups. I do think her acting was really good though :-)

* “I hope Glo is happy and doesn’t yell at me” *almost immediately* “I was disappointed”

* “I kinda know how Jonbenet felt” girl…

* She should be afraid…you have to grab her every time she does it because she can’t handle that landing 😐

* The group is actually kinda cute

* Audrey landed the tuck way better than I anticipated lol

* Momma Rachelle is back we cheer

* Yay Mina won!!

* “Please not me” it was in fact—her. Poor girl had her hopes sky high

* Ashlan’s eye roll when Glo said the energy was flat—me too girl

* “In Pennsylvania, that’s first place—” AH AH AH! you know how many AMAZING routines dominated the PA circuit? Shut the fuck up about my state hoe

* Domenica is really good with the kids. She may be annoying at times but she at least clearly gives a shit about these kids

* Them talking about their issues with Glo’s over-praise of Gina…in front of Gina…but why?

#dance moms #dance moms spoilers #dance moms a new era #dance moms a new era spoilers #studio bleu #gloria hampton #glo hampton #tw: death #tw: jonbenet ramsey #jonbenet ramsey

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niks-thoughts · 3 years

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I’m a month behind on dropping these reviews but it’s better late than never!

We’re here, season 14 of the global phenomenon RuPaul’s Drag Race. This week group 1 sashayed into the werk room and we were introduced to Kornbread “The Snack” Jete, Willow Pill, Kerri Colby, Orion Story, June Jambalaya, Bosco & Alyssa Hunter. Based off first impressions only, I instantly loved Kornbread and Kerri, the both of them had great entrance looks and have this energy around them that makes them a joy to watch. I’ll admit that I was not feeling the Willow Pill fantasy, it wasn’t that I didn’t like her look I just felt that it didn’t feel like it was Drag Race ready. Alyssa Hunter & Bosco looked great and they were probably in the middle for me. June Jambalaya seems like she’s a good queen but that entrance outfit was ugly, sorry June. Last to enter was Orion and I just need to know if I’m the only one that feels like Orion is never wearing enough makeup? I always feel like she’s wearing the bare minimum but I know nothing about makeup so who am I to judge.

I absolutely loved the mini challenge this week, I get so excited when week 1 opens with a photo shoot and this one did not disappoint! I was cackling when Kornbread was spinning the wheel herself without the help of the pit crew. As for the winner I do agree, Kerri looked beautiful in her photo. 10/10 mini challenge this week!

Now we get to the main challenge this week, which is an All Stars-esque Talent Show. This week I absolutely agreed with everyone’s placements, Kornbread deserved her win, Orion and June deserved to be bottom and everyone else was a good safe, with Kerri being high in my opinion although nobody was high or low this week. Kornbread’s original song was actually good and her performance was excellent and I have no idea what Michelle Visage was talking about when she said she couldn’t understand what Kornbread was saying.

The lip sync was okay, I agreed with Orion Story being eliminated and I’m more interested in seeing more from June Jambalaya.

What did you think of this week’s premiere?

#rupaul #rupaul's drag race #orion story #june jambalaya #kerri colby #kornbread jete #alyssa hunter #Bosco #willow pill #reality tv #vh1 #tv show review #tv review

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sunnymenagerie · 3 years

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RuPaul’s Drag Race: Enema of the Balls

What’s better than one ball? Two, of course!

With the two groups of queens finally coming together, it was only right that Ru throw a good ol’ fashion ball, but we got a few WTF moments before that went down. First, if you thought we’d seen the last of Orion Story and Daya Betty - think again, because they strolled right back into the Werk Room leaving certain queens highly upset *cough* June *cough* Then we found out that RuPaul wanted to market his chocolate bars - I mean give us an All-Star-like twist by having each of the queens take a confectionary, autograph it, and then well, toss a little Willy Wonka in the mix.

One of the queen’s bars will be golden - a golden ticket if you will - that they can use if they find themselves in the bottom and are told to shantay away. Tonight was not the night we got to see it, and I’m sure the remaining queens were relieved to see their chances of having that sugary saving grace was still high. Well, now they each have a 1 in 13 chance of having it instead of 1 in 14 since one of the LA queens was sent packing because…sewing was not their thing.

And in a ball, we’ve learned it better be your thing. So after the two eliminated queens come back and we’re introduced to the delicious twist, we find out that the two groups are sort of split again because the first batch of queens we met would have an animal print themed ball, and the second had to have red, white, and blue which I feel we’ve seen far too often on this show, right? Maybe it’s because Blue Jean Baby from the most recent All-Stars is fresh in my mind…

Anyways, other queens like Deja and Jasmine could not wait to get to this challenge because they proudly can and do make garments for themselves. I think Deja made everything we’ll be seeing her wear this season. Other queens like Kornbread and Kerri had to hope and pray whatever they pulled together managed to do what it had to do to get them through to next week’s episode - and they did just that. To me, Kerri came through with each and every look, and Kornbread - I loved her second look a lot but all in all - I just wasn’t a huge fan of the animal print side of things. There were some good looks but nothing in that group drove me…wild.

However, I wasn’t that thrilled on the other side too just because I personally hate how tacky red, white, and blue look together. I think that comes from what followed the 2016 election and how manic those colors became. Nonetheless, there were some queens that killed it like Angeria. Carson praised her white ensemble and rightfully so. The same with every look Willow Pill walked out in. Our favorite tub-thumper won this week’s challenge, and while I expected Willow to be high after I saw her second look - I thought Daya Betty was going to take the win just because her looks were sort of over the top and fun. She was just safe though along with many of the queens except Orion Story, Maddy, and June.

I had a feeling they didn’t want to just repeat the first episode so…Orion was going to be safe, but I was surprised that Maddy actually um, turned it up a bit in that lip-sync. June is such a great performer but I feel like when you start taking everything off, Ru immediately sees that as a last-ditch effort. Plus, Maddy made Ru laugh and we all know that’s the way to win with Ru 99.9% of the time. But what wasn’t making Ru laugh this week? That coffee enema she mentioned, um…weird.

In the end, Maddy lived to see another day and June’s candy bar was just chocolate.

Current Rankings Based on Performances So Far:

Tops:

Angeria: A win and a top placement, she’s on top of the leaderboard

Willow Pill: I can’t imagine her not in the final four

Kornbread: A win the first week and safe this week, she’s not fallen from the bunch

Jorgeous: The tiniest queen is making some big impacts on the runway

Middle of the Pack: It’s an even playing field so far for these queens…

Bosco: Thought her runways have been stellar and her makeup is a standout

Kerri Colby: Drop dead gorgeous, but needs to work on a win because it’s what she deserves

Alyssa Hunter: I’m hoping Alyssa surprises us

Jasmine: More, we want more

Lady Camden: She looked so beautiful tonight

Da Bottoms:

Deja: She landed in the bottom her first time out BUT killed it so…

Maddy: Rough around the edges a bit

Orion: Went home first and then didn’t fare too well when she came back…

#rupaul's drag race #drag race #tv review #kerri colby #kornbread jete #kornbread #alyssa hunter #bosco #june jambalaya #willow pill #orion story #angeria paris vanmicheals #daya betty #deja skye #lady camden #maddy morphosis #jasmine kennedie #jorgeous

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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His Hazel Eyes (Rosenali) - Hollie

Rating: G

Pairing: Denali Foxx/Rosé (m/m)

Summary: Rosé comforts Denali after Kahmora’s elimination.

AO3

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Feeling his heart break into pieces as he walked off the stage, Denali held back as the other queens sat around backstage waiting to de-drag. Leaning up against the cool wall, Denali took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, trying to pull himself together. Denali knew that he had put on a good show for RuPaul and the judges but going up against his Chicago sister, Kahmora, was something he didn’t want to do.

Taking another deep breath in, Denali closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He could feel the tears silently running down his face and he did everything he could to hold himself together until he got to leave the set and go back to his hotel room. Feeling a soft gentle hand on his arm, Denali knew that Rosé was standing in front of him, he could pick out that comforting touch anywhere.

Opening his brown eyes, Denali tried looking anywhere else than at Rosé because he knew that if he looked into Rosé’s soft hazel eyes he would break down and start sobbing.

“Are you okay?” Rosé quietly asked, making sure no one else could hear them, knowing that Denali didn’t want the extra attention.

“I think I’ll be alright, I just can’t right now, I honestly don’t know how to feel,” Denali replied, still feeling the warmth of Rosé’s hand on his arm.

“Tell me what’s going through your mind.” Moving his hand off Denali’s arm, Rosé reached out and held Denali’s hands in his own, gently caressing the back of his hands with his thumbs.

“All I can think is that I’m so happy I won the lip sync, I’m still here, I get to fight another day, but then I’m sad and heartbroken that I sent Kahmora home. She’s a Chicago queen like me and one of my best friends and it feels like there’s a weight in the bottom of my stomach. I just want to go back to my room and cry,” Denali replied, wiping a tear from his face.

“It’s okay to feel how you do, just remember that Kahmora will be proud that you’re still here in the competition and both Kahmora and I know you will be in the top three with me,” Rosé said, trying to reassure Denali as he reached up and gently wiped a stray tear from Denali’s face.

“I know I can make top three, I really do. I hope to do Kahmora and Chicago proud,” Denali replied, still not able to look up at Rosé.

“I know you will do them proud, you are such a wonderful queen and one of the most kind and genuine people I have ever met. You really are, you keep me sane and are the only reason I haven’t crashed and burned in the werk room,” Rosé replied, wiping another tear from Denali’s face.

Letting out the shaky breath he didn’t realise he was holding, Denali looked up and his brown eyes met Rosé’s hazel. Seeing nothing but calm, love, comfort, and support, Denali felt his bottom lip quiver as the tears came pouring out. How was he lucky enough to have someone like Rosé who cared about him so much after only knowing each other for a few short weeks.

Pulling Denali close to him, Rosé held him in his arms and gently rubbed his back. Noticing some of the other queens staring at them in concern, Rosé offered them all a small smile before she gently led Denali outside into the darkness of the night so they could get some privacy.

Feeling Denali’s arms wrap back around him, Rosé tried his best to soothe him by whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Feeling warm tears starting to seep through his blue jacket, Rosé rubbed Denali’s back and let him cry.

“I’m sorry, there are tears on your look,” Denali said, a little panicked.

“Don’t worry about it baby, it’ll wash out, the only thing I care about right now is you.” Lifting Denali’s chin up with his finger, Rosé wiped the tears from Denali’s face and offered him a warm smile. “How are you feeling now?”

“I’m feeling a little better, I think I needed that,” Denali replied, wiping a stray tear from his face as he noticed the moonlight shining down and illuminating Rosé’s eyes perfectly.

“Queens, you’re allowed to go de-drag, the mini bus will be here in half an hour, be ready please.”

Watching as the producer went back inside, Denali wiped at his face, making sure there were no more tears left. “How do I look, honestly?”

“Honestly, your make-up is a bit streaked and I thought that mascara was waterproof,” Rosé replied, grabbing a tissue out of his pocket and cleaning up Denali’s face as best he could.

“This mascara is waterproof, looks like I’m going to need to find a new one,” Denali replied, taking the tissue off Rosé and touching up the corners of his eyes. “Let’s head in.”

Heading back into the werk room, Denali watched as Rosé went back over to his station and started to de-drag. Taking his wig off, Denali set it aside and pulled his boy clothes over to him. Unbuttoning his look, he slipped it off and hung it on one of the coat hangers and got redressed. Listening to what the other queens were saying around him, most of it went in one ear and out the other. Grabbing his face wipes and mirror, Denali set it down on one of the tables away from everyone else and began to take his makeup off as quickly as he could. Rubbing the glue out of his eyebrows, he could make out Rosé coming over to him in his mirror.

“Are you almost done?” Rosé asked, sitting down on one of the stools.

“Almost, I just need to get a bit more glue out,” Denali replied, smiling in success as he got it out. “Can we head to the waiting area? I need a little quiet time for a bit.”

“Sure,” Rosé replied, taking hold of Denali’s hand and leading them to the area, the moon offering just enough light to make things out.

It only took a few minutes before the mini bus pulled up and the doors opened to allow them in. Getting onto the bus, Denali led them up the back and sat them in the back two seats. Feeling Rosé’s hand firmly in his own, he knew that Rosé was there for him and it gave him a sense of peace and some strength he didn’t know he had.

The bus quickly filled with the other queens before it took off and headed back to the hotel they were staying at. Looking out the window, Denali watched as buildings and trees went by. He could barely make out some of them out as it was very dark and they had had a long day of filming. Resting his head on Rosé’s shoulder for the rest of the drive, Denali jumped slightly as the bus came to a stop at the side entrance of the hotel.

Watching as they were escorted out and into the building two by two, it only took about ten minutes before the only people left in the bus was Denali and Rosé. Getting up, they both exited the bus and stood and waited for the guard to come back.

Noticing Rosé coming over to him, Denali felt a wave of relief rush over him once Rosé had pulled him into his arms and held him tight.

“Try to get some rest, goodnight ‘Nali,” Rosé softly said, placing a gentle kiss against Denali’s forehead.

“Goodnight Rosie,” Denali replied, giving Rosé one last quick hug before she was ushered inside of the building and to her room.

Climbing into bed, Denali softly pressed his fingers to his forehead where Rosé had kissed him and smiled. Pulling the blanket up high, he got comfortable and closed his eyes, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

#rpdr fanfiction #denali foxx #rosé #rosnali #s13 #canon compliant #on set fic #hurt/comfort #fluff #hollie

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33skeletons · 4 years

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This is a list of all the people currently available

If this blog gains any real traction, I’ll add more... but until then, I don’t want to get too carried away until I’m 100% sure that the effort is worth it. I hope y’all understand

Name: Deydra Age: 18 Likes: ice cream, yaoi, drawing, roleplay dislikes: rude people, coffee, people putting words in her mouth, XP, Punk Bio: She’s in an open relationship with Scruff. she’s mute, but doesn’t know sign language, so she communicates via charades. She’s a low key perv, but tends to feign innocence.

Name: Friday Age: 22 Likes: flirting, coffee, making people flustered Dislikes: tea.... that stuff’s too mild, spicy food..... are you fucking insane!?! Bio: This tall drink of water is not for the feint of heart. He knows all the right buttons to push to reduce you to a blushing puddle. He has a goofy sense of humor and will often make a complete fool of himself just to make people at least crack an amused smile.

Name: Manga Age: 24 Likes: being pampered, the finer things in life Dislikes: getting dirty, being treated like a commoner Bio: This Miss Priss is a purebred with a pedigree. She believes herself to be an aristocrat and deems those of lower standard to be “plebian filth” and below her. Quick witted with a sharp tongue to boot, she’s not the nicest person to be around unless you can meet her high standards.... or give her a bottle of fancy ketchup. She has a weakness for tough guys that can match her mental capacity and hold intricate conversation with her.

Name: Punk Age: 32 Likes: What’s it to ya? Dislikes: Like you’d like ta know! Bio: he’s quite stand-off-ish and likes to keep people at arms length as much as he possibly can. He gets along with very few people and likes to shroud himself in mystery, the less you know, the better for him. He’s a wild card that enjoys throwing people for a loop at every turn.

Name: Scruff Age: 19 Likes: protecting Deydra, spicy food, tea, cuddles Dislikes: sushi, bone broth Bio: he and Deydra are in an open relationship. He cares more about Deydra than his own life. He’s a tad stand-off-ish towards anyone he doesn’t know. He tends to act as a translator for Deydra when someone doesn’t understand what she’s trying to say. All the scars on his face and his gold fangs are all from fighting to keep Deydra out of harm’s way. Wherever Deydra goes, Scruff is never very far.

Name: XP Age:15 Likes: destruction, being an asshole, getting what he wants Dislikes: being told no, having to be nice, things he destroys being fixed Bio: This edgy teen just wants the world to burn. He strives to hurt people any way he can and often ends up getting beaten senseless by Scruff when he targets Deydra. Being an Error Nightmare, he can use both Error strings and Nightmare tentacles to bring about destruction and pain, though he normally keeps the tentacles hidden as not to instantly rouse suspicion from his targets seeing as most actively avoid Nightmares, but are okay with Errors, though he can’t hide the goop that covers his right eye, which gives away his other half if anyone’s attentive enough to put two and two together in time

Name: Hokori Age: 23 Likes: food, blood, peanuts Dislikes:..... meh Bio: With his hood up, he appears to be a Dust Sans, but with his hood down it reveals a large gash in his skull and allows him to pass as your average Horror Sans. He’s volatile and unpredictable, but the fastest way to this skeleton’s proverbial heart is lots of food. He’s a bottomless pit with an insatiable apatite. If he’s out on a killing spree and has decided to target you, your best bet at escaping is to toss a handful of some kind of small, easily scattered snack such as peanuts. He’ll stop and start picking up and eating whatever you threw like James Woods from Family Guy. He’s also a bit of a perv once he’s deemed you not worth the energy of killing.

Name: Calibri (left) Age: 21 Likes: shredding sick riffs on her guitar, rapping, beating the snot out of assholes that need a checkup with karma Dislikes: Assholes, people calling her fat... I’m a queen with more curves than you know how to handle!!! get it right, fuckers!!! Bio: This badass, bodacious babe is one of Gears’s twin daughters. She’s got a sailor’s mouth with an alcohol tolerance to match. She’s hot-headed, but also mediates when her sister Chiller is too angry to see straight and starts edging too close to the line when putting her foot down. Calibri is sexy and she knows it with a ride or die attitude. She don’t need no man to take care of her, no sir! She’s perfectly capable of paying her own tab and fighting off a group of thugs that don’t know how to take no for an answer! She, her sister, and her mom can play Through The Fire And Flames on their guitars. Name: Chiller (right) Age: 21 Likes: playing guitar with her sister Calibri and mother Gears, reading Dungeons and Dragons books Dislikes: movie adaptations of books, live action adaptations of animations, assholes, being angry Bio: Chiller’s a badass babe in her own right. She survived being hooked up to a car battery and has the scars to prove it. She’s a lesbian and proud, and prefers taking on the dominant role in a relationship. Her pain tolerance is incredibly high. She enjoys hip hop, interpretive and break dancing, and is one heck of an archer with nearly dead shot aim. She’s normally stoic and very blunt with her words, preferring to only speak when necessary. She’s a natural born pack alpha.

Name: Sparkle Age: 41 Likes: anything sweet, bright colors, J-pop, K-pop Dislikes: anything bitter, having to get violent, seeing others get hurt Bio: she may look all sunshine and rainbows, but she can punch like a freight train and sometimes forgets her own strength. She suffers from hypoglycemia and has to keep sweets and candy on her person if she leaves the house, though she will gladly share them if you ask. She enjoys baking, and can often times be found doing just that out of boredom, not that anyone has been complaining. She may appear frail, but she can tank hits like a champ so long as said hits don’t come from a sharp object or gunshot. Her twin sister is Shade. She has a problem with producing more magic than her body can handle, so her sister comes in handy for that issue.

Name: Shade Age: 41 Likes: star gazing, dark colors, bitter and robust flavors, Evanescence (she knows all of their songs by heart) Dislikes: sweets, bright light, satanists Bio: Miss Doom And Gloom here is a wiccan highly skilled in her practice. She has the ability to leech magic from other monsters because she has no magic of her own to use, so she uses the magic of others, though mostly the excess magic her sister overproduces. She doesn’t enjoy getting her hands dirty in a fight,.... good thing she wears gloves! She’s rather soft spoken, but make no mistake, she has an outside voice and will not hesitate to use it if someone’s getting on her nerves. She mostly uses defensive magic to protect others, though she knows attack spells purely for the defense of herself and others should it be absolutely necessary. She also knows basic healing magic, though she can only heal minor injuries.

Name: Aiden Age: 40 Likes: pain, meat, grunge and screamo Dislikes: pop music, allergy season, Bio: This sharp toothed masochist ADORES pain, both receiving and inflicting. She got so mad once, she ruined her voice, so now she sounds like she smokes a pack a day. She’s very fast, agile, and super flexible since she’s double jointed EVERYWHERE!!! She has three rows of those razor teeth and a tongue which is so long it can act as an extra limb, which she enjoys showing off to freak people out via picking up objects such as cups, keys, pencils, and even going so far as to balance on it. She has very bad allergies, so she smells by flicking her tongue out like a reptile. Her spit and other bodily fluids are highly acidic. She’s normally chill, but it’s still obvious she’s a bit unhinged.

Name: Gears Age: 40 Likes: hot sauce, children, playing his acoustic guitar, working on cars, blacksmithing, learning new things Dislikes: sitting still for too long, sweets, water, cold, rude people, being alone Bio: Gears is a country boy that enjoys staying in top physical shape and keeping his hands and mind busy at every chance he gets. He’s just as strong as Sparkle, but slower. He has fire magic that when not fighting to keep others safe, he uses to forge metal as a freelance blacksmith. He carries a ridiculously enormous wrench forged from the hardest metal known to man that he uses as a melee weapon. Fire doesn’t harm him, but water sure as heck does (but he can drink things like koolaid and soda and be perfectly fine... just no water on it’s own or saline solution)!!! He bleeds ferrofluid, which he can manipulate, harden, and liquify at will as a last resort in a fight or to keep his injuries from deterring him too badly. He’s a bit of a himbo, but not as dumb... he just has his moments where “me brain am no werk so gud” and it’s evident when he starts having Freudian Slips in whatever he’s trying to say or his response to a question is “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhm...... wait one...... run that by me again?”. Gears was around during the great human monster war, which in his AU the humans sealed them in the mountain, but chased them till they were backed against the barrier, but the monsters hit a massive stroke of good luck and managed to take back the underground with the help of Frisk. Being a war veteran that has seen things no one should ever have to, he suffers from PTSD. Gears has a soft spot for children, and will often babysit for others if they ask.

Name: Sketch Age: 40 Likes: drawing, painting, coloring, blood, sketching,..... what? Dislikes: ......... what were we talkin bout? Bio: Sketch is an unhinged scatterbrained clutz of an aspiring artist.... with a dark side. She’s a low-key sadist that’s developed a taste for blood. Once you piss her off, stopping her is like trying to stop the Doom Guy.... just... stay out of her warpath and pray to whoever you pray to that you’re not the one she’s storming towards. She’s a MASSIVE perv and will openly stare at whatever she sees that she likes a little too much, even known to get handsy when the person doesn’t take the hint. She often loses track of important things like her phone, keys, ect and loses her train of though every now and then or feigns it to skillfully dodge questions and conversations she’d rather not be having.

Name: Rave Age: 42 Likes: singing, dancing, fashion and most importantly BOOOOOOOYYYYYS~ Dislikes: ..... depends on the situation, really~ Bio: A flamboyantly gay vigilante is also a medic with powerful healing magic. Rave is fleet of foot and deathly quiet when sneaking up on someone and with enough stamina to outrun most of his targets. His weapon of choice is a glowstick staff. Wanna hear what he sounds like? Go to youtube and look up any nightcore male version of any Ke$ha song and that’s what he sounds like. Rave likes looking hot AF and can frequently be found rocking women’s punk, pop and grunge style clothing and looking damn good in it and some eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. He prides himself in keeping himself as healthy and fit as he possibly can at all times. He unironically likes pumpkin spice anything, peppermint bark lattes, and kale chips.

Name: Dante Age: 42 Likes: children, Italian food, guns, cigars, wine, bourbon, being a wise guy mobster, Helping others.... so long as they help someone else in return that is.... sorta like.... paying for the person behind you in a drive thru where it starts a chain reaction of people paying for the next person’s meal..... little acts of kindness make the world go round, y’know.... and I’m a charitable man. Dislikes: rude people, having to go “Melancholy”, Bio: This Mafiatale Ganz (GZTale Sans) is the don of his own mafia that deal in guns, alcohol, and providing protection to those who come to him on the day of his sister's daughter's son's niece's nephew's grandmother's sister's wedding-..... pffffft hahaha!!! Just kidding! He has no blood relatives besides his brother Leon, but this group of people (everyone in the two pictures above this) are like.... illegitimate family.... adoptive you could say. Dante’s great with kids. He and Gears are the best at babysitting and often work together to help lost children find their families again when they’re out and about. Dante enjoys giving back to the community as much as he possibly can, even spending his free time doing volunteer work and donating funds to the city. When Dante gets a custom order on a gun, he has Gears forge it for him and focuses on the fine details, dip dying, engraving and making custom bullets to match.

Name: Anomaly Age: immortal, frozen at age 23 Likes: helping others, traveling to other AUs, fruity alcohol, karaoke, JAPANESE FOOD!!! Dislikes: spicy food, beer, celery, mushrooms, country music Bio: Anomaly has ben around for god knows how long. They are bigender. They have wings and horns (cause They’re a fallen angel) but prefers to hide them away. 40 years ago, they decided to create their own AU as a safe haven for anyone trying to escape danger, though danger seems to find their little safe haven more than they’d like to admit. It was around this time they discovered forgotten AUs and ones being destroyed or deleted and decided to try to rescue as many people from them as they could, bringing them back to populate their AU Crossroads, aptly named due to it being a meltingpot of the multiverse and still growing in size and population to this day. The 9 skeletons listed above were the first 9 they ever rescued and they became like their own kids. They’re a goofball, but make Them mad and you’ll feel their wrath! Skilled in a multitude of weapons and fighting styles, they’re a formidable force of nature. They can shift between male and female at will, though they prefer their female form due to them being able to fit in smaller spaces, being lighter weight, and being able to doe eye and bat their eyelashes out of most situations.... plus free drinks at the local bar on Thursdays.

Name: Eros Age: 19 Likes: long walks on the beach, cuddles, his family, oreos Dislikes: rainy days, confrontation (cause it makes people afraid of him) Bio: This 10ft tall, frightening behemoth is actually Aiden’s son! Out of all the second generation, he’s the youngest of the adults, but the most responsible of the four boys, often being the voice of reason amongst them, especially when it comes to the well being of children around his idiotic cousins Etch and Scribble and often being the one to get little ZJ to listen to what he’s told by telling him going to bed on time and eating vegetables will make him grow up big and strong like him. He’s actually a little on the shy side and very humble, only hamming things up around ZJ and other small children present. He suffers from early onset arthritis and has to take medication for it to keep his joints from locking up and grinding together, but he doesn’t let it hold him down. He and his uncle Gears work out together because it helps his aching bones and because Gears turns it into fun little challenges for him to keep him going with it instead of giving up.

Name: Etch Age: 21 (but a few months younger than Chiller and Calibri) Likes: mEmEs!!!, weed, being annoying, prank wars Dislikes: being forgotten, being ignored, pain (has a very low pain tolerance) Bio: One of Sketch’s sons and Scribble’s twin brother. He’s just very lonely and wants people to pay attention to him to stave off being alone for as long as he can... whether said attention is positive or negative. When no one pays attention to him or there’s no one to keep his thoughts from wandering to dark places, he steals his brother’s weed stash and gets high... which his brother hates because Etch could easily go to a doctor and get his own prescribed to him, but Etch fears the doctor’s office more than death and adamantly refuses to go, even hiding or running away at the mere mention of it. Etch tried to get a tattoo once.... he went into it screaming like a badass Viking, but before they could even roll up his sleeve to start, he ran out blubbering like a baby. He’s the most irresponsible one in the entire family and is always the one to cause major problems because of a bad idea he thought was good at the time. He ends up in bad situations a lot and finds himself with the wrong crowd more often than not, but lucky for him he has a family full of badasses that come to bail him out of any situation before he ends up hurt too badly.

Name: Scribble Age: 21 (but a few months younger than Chiller and Calibri) Likes: memes, weed, hanging around Etch, Eros and ZJ, cuddles Dislikes: when Etch steals his weed, when Etch gets into trouble, pain (another with very low pain tolerance, looky there! But he has literally no tolerance for pain.... he screamed when he got those piercings) Bio: Scribble suffers from anxiety and clinical depression and was prescribed marijuana to treat it. He and his brother were home schooled after freshman year of high school due to Etch pissing off the entire football team and them all ambushing the brothers in the locker room after gym class and um... let’s just say Etch got over it and Scribble still fears .....backdoor intimacy after what the football team did to them. Scribble is unable to protect himself and is a firm believer in pacifism. In times of battle, Scribble acts as a messenger, able to write notes in magic ink that can only be seen by it’s intended recipients. He normally just rolls with whatever Etch is doing or does what he’s told to avoid a conflict.

Name: Spritle Age: 20 Likes: Cheesy romance, dark humor and morbid jokes, rainy days Dislikes: removing her death touch nullifying necklace, people sexualizing her right off the bat, people underestimating her because of her appearance Bio: This brightly colored reaper girl is one of Sparkle’s daughters. She prefers to blend into the background and not be the center of attention if she can help it. Yes, her freckles are rainbow colors. She’s more on the proper side like her aunt Shade and enjoys a relationship if it’s not centered around perversion. She’d rather spend the day cuddled up on the couch watching disney movies, eating pizza and sharing a drink with two straws. She really likes nostalgic and retro things like 50′s diners and drive in movies. If you’re with her and intend on asking her out, doing old school gestures like laying your jacket over a puddle so she won’t step in it is the quickest way to win her over.

Name: Pixie Age: 19 Likes: when any guy is interested in her, when soon to be reaped souls try to run from her sister (It gives her something to do), sushi Dislikes: When people think she’s a child because of her nearly flat chest and high pitches voice, How her big sister has a bigger bust than her (Sprilte: Hey, if I could switch with you, I would! These things hurt my back!) Bio: Sparkle’s youngest daughter. Her father was an ErrorFellSwap Papyrus. She works with her sister as a chaser. Her job is to chase after, disarm and detain souls that refuse to be reaped when their time comes via trying to fight death or outrun it and thus trying to fight/run away from Spritle. Pixie is the first ever chaser on record and was the one who proposed the idea to the reaper council to keep reapers from tearing their bodies up to do their job. Chasers can be identified by a little white cross on their clothing or accessories and are required to be fast runners and ferocious fighters. Pixie has the speed and ferocity of a FellSwap Papyrus and is able to use her error strings to easily take weapons from your hands and tie you up to await the cold bite of Spritle’s scythe or claw blades. Pixie enjoys puzzles, her favorite being rubix cubes.

Name: ZJ Age: 4 Likes: coloring, playing outside, hanging out with the older boys, spending time with uncle Gears and uncle Dante, when his momma reads to him, hide and seek, COOKIES, CAKE AND CANDY!!! Dislikes: When people are mean and hurt others, vegetables, bed time Bio: Shade’s adopted son. ZJ is shy, yet a hyperactive ball of energy that likes to hang around with Etch, Scribble, and Eros. He has wisdom beyond his years thanks to his mother reading college level literature as his bedtime stories, but he has trouble articulating his words from the first three years of his life being spent with everyone baby talking him. When he doesn’t know how to respond to something, he just reacts by screaming “I DUNNO WHAT’S GOIN ON!!!” the same happens when he gets overwhelmed, but it’s accompanied by him hiding behind the nearest trusted adult.

FEEL FREE TO START SENDING ASKS AND RP STARTERS!!!

#ask blog #undertale ocs #undertale original characters #undertale skeletons #my sona #character list #character lineup #ask box open #rp friendly

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bonesgadh · 4 years

Text

Each finalist’s pros, cons and key to winning the crown according to yours trully:

Jaida Essence Hall

Pros:

Talent

Jaida is an amazing performer, she dances, she sells her act, she is a very good designer and seamstress, she is polished, funny and overall a very complete queen. Most pageant queens who have been on the show are one-note queens, which is not Jaida’s case. Her looks are always on fucking point and she is simply gorgeous. There’s nothing else I can say about Jaida that hasn’t been said already.

Record

Only Gigi had a better track record than Jaida. She won three challenges and although she was in the bottom two once, she was always a good and strong contender.

Consistency

Gigi had a strong start but fell flat and Crystal woke up during the second half of the season, but Jaida was always a good queen (except for the second-to-last challenge). She didn’t really get a chance to put herself in the frontrunner position during the first half of the season because Gigi was dominating the competition, but she was patient and it paid off. It’s true that she failed at the one-woman show, but she quickly recovered and she proved it had been nothing but a slip. Ru likes stability, which can help Jaida’s chances.

Public image

Jaida is a very popular queen amongst her fellow queens and fans. She is charismatic, she has a likeable persona, she is an activist, she stands for diferent causes, and an altruistic queen is always a very good choice for a winner.

Cons:

Uniqueness

Although Jaida is a very talented queen her main style is something we have seen before, and one of the things Ru looks after in her winners is uniqueness, so that could play against her.

Relatively slow start

Jaida won episode two, and after that she kind of fell into the background. Sh*rry P*e and Gigi won the next five challenges and Gigi’s domain of the competition didn’t allow for anybody else to shine, including Jaida. Her presence didn’t feel that much until after episode 8, when she started to win again.

Age

Ru is known for choosing young queens as winners. Raja and Bianca are the only queens above 30 to have won the competition, and that was because they were something else. Jaida is 32, which statistically speaking can affect her.

Snatch game performance

With the exception of Bebe (there was no Snatch Game in S1), Tyra (who had inmunity), Yvie (who was in the bottom two) and Violet (who was safe), every other winner has placed either high (Raja, Sharon, Bianca and Sasha) or has won the Snatch Game (Jinkx, Bob and Aquaria). Jaida’s impersonation wasn’t bad but it wasn’t memorable either.

Gigi Goode (honestly I don’t think Gigi stands a chance after her fuck up from yesterday. Not a single one. Even if her performance is flawless there’s no way Ru will crown her)

Pros:

Strong start

From the moment she entered the werk room you could see there was something special with her and with three main challenge wins by episode 8 she was the obvious frontrunner. At that point, you didn’t imagine any other queen taking the crown away from her.

Versatility

Gigi is a very versatile queen, which is not very common. She is a skilled seamstress, she serves looks, she sings, she acts, she dances and she is an amazing performer. Her win in the Snatch Game proved she is quick-thinking and can be goofy, her win in the Ball challenge showed she is creative and skilled and she also did very well during the improv/acting challenges (World’s Worst and Gay’s Anatomy), which proves she is not a one-trick dog.

Challenges won

She won the Snatch Game which usually serves as the turning point of the season; it can either propel you to a frontrunner position or send you straight to the bottom. Like I mentioned above with Jaida, winners historically do good at the SG. She also won the Ball, another challenge winners have won (Bebe, Tyra, Sharon, Violet and Aquaria all won the Ball and, if you ask me, Bianca should have won it too).

On the other hand, no winner has ever won the Rusical/Lip sync extravaganza.

Performance skills

Although she didn’t have to lip-sync for her life she could benefit from the lip-sync for the crown format because she won two Rusicals and came very close to winning a third one, which proves she knows how to sell an act. Also she has already performed at the Werq The World Tour so she has an advantage when it comes to lip-syncing from her home.

Track record

Gigi has one of the finest records in Drag Race herstory. She won four challenges, a remarkable feature since she is only the third queen to achieve it (after Sharon Needles and Shea Couleé). However, contrary to Sharon and Shea, Gigi never placed in the bottom two—and Shea shared two of her wins with Sasha—. Tyra, Bianca, Violet, Sasha and Aquaria won their season without having to lip sync for their lives.

She rises up to the challenge

Gigi admitted she was not a particularly good dancer and struggled whenever she had to perform in a dancing challenge, but she delivered and excelled at them. Also during the Madonna Rusical she wanted to be cone bra Madonna but she gave up the part and still won the motherfucking challenge. I hate it when queens who don’t get their way just complain and throw tantrums and come up with excuses to justify why they did bad in the challenge, but she simply trusted herself and did and excellent job.

Age

When picking the season’s winner, Ru leans towards younger queens. Except for Raja (36) and Bianca (38) every single winner won their season when they were less than 30 years old, and Tyra (21), Jinkx (25), Violet (21), Aquaria (21) and Yvie (25) were 25 or younger. Gigi is 22, which gives her a slight advantage against Crystal (29) and Jaida (32).

Cons:

That tweet and the controversy that came with it

For those of you who didn’t hear, yesterday relatively early in the morning Gigi tweeted about her excitement for the season 12 finale and she literally used the words: “I can’t breathe”, which was a horrible thing given the murder of George Floyd.

Now here’s the thing: Gigi did what she did because she clearly had no idea of what had happened, which is worse than the tweet itself if you ask me. But then she comes with a long-ass statement to adress the issue and she only digged herself into a deeper hole. As a mexican woman I have experienced racism and I hate it when people just look the other way because they are acting from their own privilege, the privilege of knowing that the decision made by those in power won’t affect them, but the rest of us can’t afford to shut everything out or to blame it on our anxiety.

Political issues were a big thing this season and the truth is you can’t aspire to become America’s Next Drag Superstar, a title that demands you to be politically and socially aware, and come up with excuses like: “oh, I don’t get into politics because I find them awful.” Gurl, when Aquaria came to Mexico a day after being crowned and I was lucky enough to see her, she adressed the presidential election that was happening the next day and threw shade at her own country. She had no reason to know there was going to be an election but she encouraged us all to vote because we needed our voice to be heard. She was the same age Gigi is today and she was never in the need to use the anxiety card to justify her political ignorance, and although she has also screwed up many times before she has tried to educate herself because she is aware of her privilege, and I respect her for that.

I’m very sorry for Gigi, I’m pretty sure she ruined her chances of winning which is a shame because I don’t think she is either a racist or the devil with human form, she made a terrible mistake and I hope she learns from this and bounces back. She owes it to her fans and to herself to do better next time.

Lost momentum

By episode 8 she had won three challenges but things went south for her after that, which allowed other queens to rise (especially Crystal and Jaida). She went from a 10 to a 6.5 in three episodes and it was painful to watch, and although she bounced back to win the final challenge the truth is she lost a ton of momentum, which can really hurt you during a competition as tough as Drag Race. You can’t allow yourself to lower your guard.

Uniqueness

Just like Jaida she is not a particularly unique queen, and one of the things Ru looks after in her winners is uniqueness. Although she is very versatile, her main style is something we have seen before. Personally she reminds me of Aquaria, although if you ask me—and here’s where a probably unpopular opinion quicks in—Gigi has a wider range than her. There are also traces of Raja and Violet, so that could play against her.

Self-sabotage

Gigi showed she can laugh at herself and be goofy, and given her good performances at the improv challenges and the snatch game I was surprised to see her fail the way she did at the commercial and debate challenges. Her performance at the one-woman show was “fine” and her make over challenge was mediocre, which is kind of unforgivable for a look queen because you expect them to excel. Sometimes it seemed as if she was trying too hard, but my guess is after performing so well she thought Ru and the judges wanted more, and her fear of failing is what brought her to fail. She chose to put her silly side aside, completely forgetting Ru likes it when queens just let go and have a good time.

Crystal Methyd: She needs to bring her A+ game to the lip syncs. If she manages to channelize her charm and uniqueness into friday’s performance then watch out, because it won’t matter if she is not as polished as Gigi and Jaida. Ru will choose a queen with a heart over a pretty face, as long as said queen gives her all.

Pros:

Uniqueness

Although her style is similar to other queens, she injects her performances with her own sense of humor and fashion. It is always amazing when a “different” queen does good in the competition and it makes you root for her.

Attitude

Crystal is one of the most kindhearted queens to have ever been on the show. She is likable and has a heart the size of the world and she won over all of us. If there’s one thing I like about Crystal is she enjoys what she is doing and she is obviously having so. much. fun. It is not common for queens to have this approach to the competition.

Growth

No queen grew during the season as much as Crystal did. Period. The glow up she had was just impressive and extremely pleasing to look at and it makes you feel proud of her. She listened to the judge’s critiques without altering what made her unique and Ru likes that. No choice but to stan.

Storyline

I don’t really like it when fans talk about queens getting the “villain edit” or the “winner edit”, what I do think is queens have a storyline because Drag Race is a tv show after all, so you have to be able to see the queens’ journey from start to finish. Having said that, out of the three finalists Crystal has the best storyline. She is the underdog, the queen you thought was going to leave first, and she fought her way to the top against all odds.

Age

Just like I said with Gigi, when picking the season’s winner Ru leans towards younger queens. Crystal is 29, and although she is older than Gigi she is the same age Bebe, Sharon, Bob and Sasha were when they won (okay Bebe was 28 but in order for this to work I’m gonna say they were all the same age).

Cons:

Talent

Like Ru said, charisma and uniqueness can only take you so far. Obviously Crystal is a talented queen (she wouldn’t have reached the top if she weren’t), but objectively speaking I think Jaida and Gigi are on a different level than her. She grew a lot, yes, but with her there’s still room for improvement while both Jaida and Gigi are already excellent. I see her more as the lovely runner-up than as America’s Next Drag Superstar.

Record

In terms of record Crystal is the weakest out of the three queens. She came close to being in the bottom a couple of times, she had to lip sync for her life once and it took her a while to warm up, but once she did she stayed in the top. However, her weak start could play against her.

Odd queen

I doubt Ru will have odd queens winning back-to-back seasons, especially since I think Yvie was a better queen than Crystal.

Snatch Game performance

Tyra and Yvie are the only queens who went on to win their season despite performing poorly at the Snatch Game, and although Crystal didn’t have to lip sync for her life she was in the bottom three.

#team jaida #team gigi #team crystal #jaida essence hall #gigi goode #crystal methyd #rupaul's drag race #rpdr #drag race #rupaul season 12 #rupauls drag race

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justkeeptrekkin · 5 years

Text

The Library Is Open- a drag queen AU

This is a little present for my boo @ladycakepops, with whom i have discussed 100000 Drag Race headcannons!! Luv u m8.

000

“Girl, you know she’s been using that same wig all week, yo, there’s flies comin’ outta that shit it’s so stanky.” “Oh no, here she comes, Miss Thing, lookin’ like she think she about to slay the runway but she left her fashion sense at home next to her ratchet-ass 100 Yen fake-lash kit. Oh no, sweetie.”

“And- oh, ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, you know the house gonna come down when Miss Kamui Woods strut on stage acting like she own the damn place, bitch looks like Groot, motherfucker.”

Club Hero erupts into joyous applause and roof raising laughter. It may be dark, the audiences’ faces obscured by the low lights, but Hizashi knows that they’re all smiling. Present Mic knows how to work a crowd. He can always count on his drag persona to keep the customers coming back with her witty one liners.

“And here she is- it’s Best Jeanist, girl, you know what I’m boutta say. Denim? Again? Where’s the variety? That doesn’t mean she don’t look good, though- whew, that waist is cinched to the gods henny. You’d. Betta. Work.”

At this point their careers, all the queens know that Mic will roast them till the cows come home. None of them take it personally. Any more, at least. At first, the obnoxious delivery didn’t exactly make Present Mic a very popular queen. But it didn’t take long for them to see the kind heart and smarts behind the overbearing facade.

They’re family, now.

“Here she is, Miss Tiger is here, hide your boyfriends, people, she comin’ for yo man- oh, nah, rewind, too late, she already run into him in the gym and snatched him at the weights section. Damn, you seen those muscles on that queen? Girl, she could lift me and through me out the window, I swear to Gawd.”

The laughter ripples through the place, a backdrop to the music that makes the floor vibrate a little, the queens strutting to the beat on stage in their runway looks. Mic sits backstage, watching with her microphone and peering at them over her sunglasses like she’s judging horses at the Kentucky races.

It all started out with presenting. That is how Present Mic found her drag name, after all. One night, Hizashi had come to visit Nemuri at Club Hero, having no clue how much it took to run a place like this. And, having never stepped foot in drag. He’d watched the runway behind stage with Nemuri, found a running commentary pouring out as the queens worked. The team backstage had loved it, and so had Nemuri. And Hizashi had been addicted to their attention, their laughter and encouragement to keep going. It lit a fire in him and gave him a purpose- entertaining. The last thing he’d expected was to find such a thing through drag.

“Mm Miss Shigaraki walkin’ on stage with that weird, spooky drag I know y’all love but come on, girl, I said it last week and I’ll say it again, put on some mothafuckin’ chapstick, yo.”

The audience screams at the burn. Mic grins.

“Mic.” He looks up from his seat to see Nemuri watching with a proud smile. She loves this place just as much as the rest of them. At the end of the day, if they really were to become a family, it’d be her family. House of Kayama.

“What’s up.” “They’re really rowdy tonight.” “You know I always give them what they want.”

The two of them watch as the queens step into formation for a dance routine. So very much not Mic’s thing. She has two left feet and could probably take someone’s eye out with her hair, styled the way it is.

Mic’s gaze drifts to the audience. And although it’s usually impossible to their expressions, there’s a small group of salary-men at the front, in the light of the stage, that draws Mic’s attention.

There’s a big guy. A big guy with red hair and a grizzly face, looks like he’d give Tiger or Vlad a run for their money. A mean looking fucker with a mean looking smile to match. The guy next to him, who looks, impossibly, even bigger, but more the gentle giant type- blonde and dopey and excited to be there. And then there’s the third guy. The third guy who’s shorter and less stocky but still broad shouldered. His tie is undone and his hair is slicked back, there’s stubble across his chin and a wicked looking scar on his cheek that makes Mic a little hot under the collar.

What troubles her most isn’t the big mean guy’s sneer as he laughs at the queens on stage- superior and mocking and all the things Mic hates. No, the thing that distresses her most is the look of utter indifference on the third guy’s face.

Bored? Here? Present Mic doesn’t settle for bored.

“Those assholes at the front,” Nemuri mutters, hands on her hips and a deathly look in her eyes.

Mic stares at them. The mean guy is shouting something, probably nothing worth getting kicked out over, but it’s getting the queens riled up. Nothing abnormal in a place like this- plenty come in just to laugh at them. But what they don’t know is that this place is protected. This is Club Hero. Every queen in here has her power, her own little quirk.

Mic’s about to show this dickhead her quirk.

“Don’t you worry, baby,” Mic assures with a grin and wild, wide eyes that she knows freaks people out. She lays a gentle hand on Nemuri’s arm. “I’mma get him, yo. I’mma get him.”

When Mic stands, leather creaks. Diamante studs shine from the disco ball above her head and her heels take her to six foot seven. With the hair- almost seven foot tall. And as she walks towards the stage, thigh-high boots squeaking and leather mini-dress riding up just the right amount, Mic feels as if she could take over the world.

It’s the confidence she needs to do this job. And do what comes next.

The place smells like hot stage lights and booze. The backstage crew sense her approaching quickly- a seven foot tall, leather and diamante clad drag queen is hard to miss. They all step aside and let Mic pass, business-like but hiding smiles, knowing what’s about to go down. Mic passes through, deadly and determined.

One of the crew speaks into the microphone. “Settle down ladies- the cockatoo is flying to the stage now.” As code names go, Mic supposes it’s pretty accurate. The wig is kind of bird like.

The sound of her heels click-clocking against the floor gives her the momentum she needs to step into the stage lighting and take a stand besides her sisters. They turn to measure Mic’s arrival, expressions mixed- some relieved, some just outright pissed at the fact that their dance routine has stopped. The red haired guy is drunk, it’s obvious- he’s shouting some bullshit that isn’t all that offensive, but it’s annoying. The blonde guy is trying to shut him up, looking just as angry as the queens. And the third guy- he looks downright threatening. The look of disgust and disdain that he’s throwing at the red haired guy is impressive. That’s some shade right there. And he’s saying something that the dude can’t hear, but Mic can guess is biting.

The queens hang around on stage, deflated- they’ve stopped the dance routine in anticipation, and look at Mic. The audience have noticed Mic appear, too, and applause and encouragement seeps through the sewage of heckling from red-haired guy.

“Read him, Mic!” “Slaaayyyy!”

“Yas, come through!”

Gunhead is the first to walk up to her, removing her mask to look her in the eye. “You’d better get out there fast. You know our security team won’t throw him out yet.” “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”

“You always do,” she smiles. So gentle despite that badass drag she’s got going.

The queens flow off stage. Jeanist stops her for a moment with a hand on her arm. She looks like she can barely breath in that corset. Why it gotta be denim, though? Mic thinks. “Don’t go too hard, Mic. I think this one could blow up in your face. This is one angry bastard.”

The grin that spreads across Mic’s face is evil. Jeanist doesn’t recoil from the expression- she’s used to it by now.

“I’mma have to try not to pop off too hard. Hold onto your wig, girl, I’m comin’ for him.” Jeanist rolls her eyes and huffs a laugh, before removing her hand and walking off stage.

Mic turns to the microphone that’s been quickly set up in the middle of the stage for her. She slowly steps towards it, painfully slowly with a cruel smirk, teasing the audience who know that she’s about to read this motherfucker so hard he’ll run out crying. The heeled boots click against the floor. And Mic is no pageant queen, or a pretty queen- especially not with the highly controversial moustache that she refuses to shave off- but she’s got legs for days. People whoop throughout the room as she stalks to the end of the runway.

She slowly wraps each individual finger, nails painted black, around the neck of the microphone. It’s particularly suggestive and earns a few more whoops.

The three salary-men are sat directly below her. The red haired one tch-ing like he doesn’t know what’s coming. The blonde one equally oblivious. And the third one- the third one is staring up at her, entirely transfixed. Looking like he’s already impressed, and Mic hasn’t even opened her mouth, yet.

Ooh. She likes this one.

“Yo yo yo, how’s everyone doin’ tonight, peeps?”

The crowd explodes with cheers and werks and slays and yas queens. Mic removes the microphone from the stand and twirls the cable around her index finger as she effortlessly steps across the stage in seven inch heels. Looks into the dark of the crowd through red tinted sunglasses.

“There are some ugly motherfuckers in here tonoit.” There’s sporadic of applause and laughter. No one is safe from roasting when Mic’s on stage. “You know I don’t like coming out here.” Some aaws, some boos. “Ok, I’m lying, I love it, I love reading y’all to filth.” Laughter. “I just know that whenever I come out on stage like this, it’s because some asshole is getting in the way of my sisters’ show, and you that ain’t cool, yo.” Some people clap. “Nah. That’ ain’t cool. We show respect in Club Hero, am I right or am I right?”

A chorus of whoops and cheers and yaaassssses. She feels all eyes on her, and whilst she feels more confident commentating backstage- she’s always half-joked that she’s got a face for radio, not TV- she knows that she owns the room right now. She just has to remind herself of that when the nerves kick in.

Her eyes fall on that handsome stranger again. He doesn’t look bored anymore.

“I need some help now, people, I need some help.” She walks up and down the stage, dragging the microphone cable with her as she paces. “Now I just- I just don’t know what to do this weekend, you feel? I need recommendations. I got a whole-ass day free tomorrow and I wanna do something nice, do something special, and I thought about getting out of the city for a bit, but I’m not about hiking in the mountains or some shit- I know some people have arbor ardor but I'm more of a city kitty ya dig? Nah, I wanna do something relaxing. Something super chill. Maybe I’ll go see a movie. Or. You know. Maybe I’ll take out a book from the library.” The crowd bursts into cheers. Mic grins, looking down at the table of highly confused straight boys. That red haired bastard is talking loud, angry nonsense to the big blonde guy, who’s glaring at him. Redhead isn’t paying any attention at all.

“Now, for those of you who need educating on drag lingo- when the library is open, and it’ll open real soon-” More whooping. “- it means that I’m gonna pick one person in this room and roast them so hard the smell of them burning makes everyone hungry, you feel me?”

Redhead continues to have a one way argument with the blonde guy, who’s now noticed Mic watching them. One hand on her hip and one hand on the microphone. Waiting.

“This bitch. This bitch doesn’t even know what’s coming, he ain’t even noticed that I’m staring at him yet, the disrespect, you know what I’m saying?”

Handsome stranger battles against a smirk, peers over at the two other salarymen. Blonde guy nudges red haired guy. And he finally notices Mic. He looks her up and down with a disdainful frown. Mic just stands there, seven foot tall and plastering on her most terrifying, shit-eating grin.

“What’s your name, sweetie.”

Some people applaud in excitement, the rest of the room hushes in anticipation. Red haired guy just stares at her, frowning and apparently unable to believe that he’s being addressed like this. Blonde guy is covering his mouth- he’s shaking with laughter.

“Sorry I- I couldn’t hear you, what’s that?” Mic stoops forward with a hand on his ear to listen to nothing. Red haired guy won’t open his mouth. “Right, right, right. I see what this is, you got some pride to withhold, haven’t you. I get it. He likes being centre of attention only until someone calls him out, huh.”

“His name’s Todoroki.”

Mic looks down at the dark handsome stranger who’s shouted out this name. He’s looking smug, not deigning to give his colleague any eye contact as he warns him to keep your mouth shut.

Mic steps to the edge of the stage and sits down, legs hanging off the edge and continuing to twirl the microphone cable flirtatiously.

Those dark eyes fixed on her. It almost makes her shiver. “And what’s your name, sugar?”

A grin. A grin, just as terrifying as Mic’s. “Aizawa.”

“Aizawa?” She says the name with a responding smile and blonde guy nudges Aizawa conspiratorially. “Aizawa, I think you and me gonna be friends. Can you help me read this son of a bitch right now?” He nods. Mic barks a laugh, loud and abrasive just like the rest of her. “Oh he don’t even care, he’s betraying his friend just like that-”

“He’s not my friend. He’s my boss.”

“Oh my- holy shit, yo, my boy’s shameless. You got more balls than I do, honey, that’s for sure. Shit, I like this one.”

People are calling out suggestive noises and laughing, and Mic has to admit she wasn’t expecting it to go this way. Flirting with audience members is fairly normal, but this is the first time that it’s been so reciprocated. This Aizawa man could snatch all of her attention if she isn’t too careful.

She looks out into the crowd and spots red haired dude, Todoroki, sneering with his chin jutting out.

Mic turns towards him, shuffling in her seat. “Oh shit, sorry girl, I totally forgot about you.” That sneer only increases. Ah, there it is- she could tell from the start. It’s always so, so easy to tell when a guy thinks he’s the most important and deserves all the attention.

This guy’s problem is ego, and egos are easy to deflate.

“I was just flirting with this nice man over here,” Mic continues. “What’s your name again? Todoroki, wasn’t it? Yo, you should move seats. For real, you shouldn’t be sitting next to your friend Captain America, he makes you look like his smaller, bitchier, less impressive version of him, you know what I’m saying?” That earns some cackles and cheers. Captain America’s eyes widen in shock and he continues to hide his face. Aizawa purses his lips against a smile. Eyes still fixed on Mic.

Todoroki goes rigid in his seat, squares his jaw, tenses his shoulders and clenches his fists on the table, beside the empty glasses.

“The library is officially open, people. Oh, shit, I knew that would piss you off- you’re a big man. Big important man who likes to be in charge and wants to be the best. Yeah, I’ve seen you before.” Mic pauses. “Bet you got a small dick.”

It’s not clever comment, but it’s an effective one, one that always gets laughs, and one that always, always works with a man like this- who looks the other way, fist clenching so hard his arm muscles are twitching.

“He about to hulk out, I can tell.” And Mic’s playing a dangerous game, but she knows what she’s doing. She slips off the stage, the spotlight following her as she steps towards the table. There’s a round of oooos as she makes her way with flamboyant purpose towards Todoroki. She pauses in front of him, looming above him, merely staring him down. It’s a testament to his pride that he plays that game, stare locked on her with his chin jutting out.

And then, Mic perches on Todoroki’s knee, legs draped over him and an arm around his shoulder. The audience scream in delight.

“I’ve got some nerve, don’t I?” Mic smirks. Todoroki looks both horrified and furious, in amusing measure. Mic bats her eyelids, puts on her best Betty Boop voice. “Am I making you uncomfortable, Mr Todoroki, sir?” Todoroki stares in the other direction, and he growls the following through his teeth. “Get yourself off of me.”

“He speaks!” Mic proclaims, and the room cheers. “Your voice, oh man, you’re sounding like the shitty porno version of Batman right now.”

She feels Todoroki tense under his arm. She hastily complies, though, removing herself and peering at him over her sunglasses. “Yo, he’s about to kill me just now. Well, maybe I’ll just resort to the safety of my friend Aizawa over here-”

She takes herself to Aizawa’s lap instead, settling on his knees with a feigned bashful expression. And Aizawa looks at her with a mixture of amusement and interest. There’s a furious blush on that face.

“Oh, yes, this seat’s much more comfortable. Shit, when I came on stage I thought this boy right here was straight, I was wrong.” Aizawa smirks, watching her as she speaks, eyes full of interest. “That’s a joke, right? Look at him now, he’s feeling right at home with a seven foot drag queen in his lap. Almost as funny as the joke that people are spreading around saying I’m a top.” Wow. This is one handsome bastard. And not only is he unfazed, he seems to be enjoying Mic’s performance substantially.

Mic likes the attention.

She leans forward a little, resting a hand on the back of Aizawa’s chair. Aizawa doesn’t lean away, eyes on her. “You a top, baby?”

The crowd is going insane, and she hasn’t even started properly roasting this guy Todoroki yet.

Oh shit, yeah, she’s meant to be reading that asshole right now.

This Aizawa guy is way too distracting.

“Oh, honey-” she says in realisation, turning to Todoroki, waving a dismissively apologetic hand. “-Shit, sorry girl, I totally forgot about you again. You’re just that forgettable.” And behind the joyous applause, she hears Todoroki say something. She can read his lips, and that’s the only reason she can pick up what he said: Fucking freak.

Captain America looks furious on her behalf, but sort of like he wants to stay to see how this pans out, rather than drag Todoroki out. And Aizawa doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to Todoroki at all.

That possibly makes her a little smug.

Mic’s had a lot worse before, though. People have called her all sorts of names. People have called Hizashi all sorts of names, even out of drag. But they’re resilient.

A hand flies to her chest theatrically and she makes a motherly gasp. “He called me a fucking freak, ladies and gentlemen!” They boo and jeer. “Mr Todoroki, , how rude. You eat asshole with that mouth?” Even the implication that he might be anything other than straight makes him shift angrily in his seat. The only reason he hasn’t got up to leave, like some people do when they’re being read, is because of his pride. Mic assumes, anyway. That makes it so much more enjoyable.

“No, no, no- I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Mic adds, waving another apologetic hand and crossing her legs, still settled nicely in Aizawa’s lap. “I shouldn’t be so mean to you right now, you didn't know what was coming. I should tone it down, huh. OK, let’s get to know you a little better- what brings a boy like you to a place like this?” Todoroki, predictably, doesn’t reply, just looks stoically the other way. Captain America takes this question, leaning towards Mic so she can hear over the rapturous audience. “My friend recommended it, she’s a drag queen too.” Mic’s mouth falls open. “These boys are full of surprises- what’s her name?”

“Nighteye.”

“Nighteye? Holy shit, you friends with Miss Nighteye? I didn’t think anybody was friends with Nighteye, the skinny, shady bitch.”

Captain America laughs knowingly. Mic drapes an arm around Aizawa’s shoulders, and is momentarily captivated by that look he’s giving her. Like he just wants to eat her up.

She stares back.

And then shakes her head, trying to snap out of it. “I’m gonna have to remove myself, yo, you distracting me too much,” she announces with a nervous laugh. This isn’t usually how this routine goes. Aizawa looks a little disappointed, but no less interested in her as she steps away, little leather mini-dress squeaking as she returns to sit on the edge of the stage.

Todoroki glares at her.

“OK, OK, so Mr Todoroki, you got family?” No answer, of course. Mic swings her thigh high boots off the edge of the stage happily. She gesticulates with her free hand as she talks, Todoroki looking at her like he’s willing her to burst into flames on stage, Carrie style. “He ain’t best pleased, ladies and gentlemen, he ain’t best pleased. Girl why you look so pissed? It’s just a game. And that’s what you get for disrespecting my sisters on stage, you know what I’m sayin’?”

Applause fills the room, and Mic smiles down at Todoroki’s fuming expression. He won’t last much longer. She can see the security team stepping through the crowd.

“Oof. Look at that angry face. He’s so pissed. What’s the tea, sweetie? What’s the tea?” Mic leans forward, elbow on her knee and staring Todoroki down. “I wanna know, what’s the matter baby? Did someone steal that red sharpie pen you colour your hair with?”

And then he snaps. Todoroki finally stands up, but before he can get anywhere he has three security guards on him, pulling him away. There’s always that short moment when Mic is genuinely frightened. But she knows she’s safe. And she knows what game she’s playing when she’s reading men like this. She takes the risk because, in her mind, it’s worth it. And so she calmly watches Todoroki being escorted away, the audience exploding with applause and booing.

Meanwhile, Captain America picks up his stuff and confidently walks towards Mic, brows knit together anxiously. He leans forward so that only she can hear, and she removes the microphone so it doesn’t pick up his words.

“I’m sorry for my colleague. He’s a bully. Aizawa and I loved your show.” Even through all the hate in the world, little rays of sunshine like this man peek through. Mic smiles, heart genuinely warmed. “Thank you. Mr?” “Yagi. Yagi Toshinori.” She nods, committing the name to memory. “You’re a good man Mr Yagi Toshinori.” Yagi smiles apologetically and turns away, broad shoulders practically bursting out of the suit. And Mic is about to stand up and get back on stage, call the queens back out- but here comes Aizawa, a calm look of purpose on his face. He stretches out his hand, passing her something she can’t see in the dark of the audience. She reaches to take it.

There’s butterflies in her chest. Christ, it’s like she’s a thirteen year old girl.

It’s a card. Aizawa turns back into the crowd, walks lazily out of the club with his suit jacket over his arm. Mic looks down at the card.

His business card. With his mobile number.

She can’t help but laugh out loud in disbelief.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,” she announces with no small amount of excitement. There’s fireworks going off in her chest. Combined with the adrenaline of her reading, this is almost too much. “This is a Club Hero first. I just that nice man’s number.”

The crowd explodes. She turns to look behind her, where the queens are catwalking back on stage and waiting for their cue to being their routine again. Some of them applauding her and cheering her on. Nemuri peers from behind the stage curtain, giving a giant thumbs up. She’s never going to let Mic live this down.

Mic stands up on stage, looks into the crowd, who are still cheering. She laughs again.

“I’m clearly not doing this reading thing properly if I’m coming away with a date.”

#my writing #bnha #erasermic #drag au #fic prompt

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lipsyncforyourlife · 3 years

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Kerri Colby Is Living For The Fantasy + "Snatch Game" Recap (Issue #10)

The RuPaul's Drag Race Official Newsletter

In this week’s Drag Race newsletter, we recap an awkward “Snatch Game,” count down the funniest moments from the challenge, and share an exclusive interview with Kerri Colby. Don’t forget to subscribe so you can stay tuned for all of the latest Drag Race updates!

A signature of Drag Race, Snatch Game is a challenge that’s both revered and feared by the queens. It’s a demanding test of intuitive character work and quick-witted improv skills, but it’s also seen as something of a “make or break” moment of the season, regularly arriving when about half the cast remains and exhaustion starts to set in. We often hear just how difficult Snatch Game is, but Season 14 might be one of the first times we actually see that as this talented group hits a wall as soon as the challenge starts. My name’s Cameron Scheetz, and it’s time to re-open Michelle Visage’s investigation…

The Mini

The mood was ecstatic after Jorgeous and Jasmine’s spirited Lip Sync, their double shantay seen as another sign that this cast is operating at a high level. Is there any challenge they can’t conquer? Well, stay tuned. Daya and Angeria both admitted to a twinge of disappointment that another week’s gone by and they still have just as many competitors, while DeJa was at a loss, having narrowly missed yet another win and wondering what she can possibly do to stand out.

The next day, Jasmine was interrupted by a clue-laden video message from RuPaul, leaving the girls curious about what awaits them. But first: A Mini Challenge! With nothing but colorful bubble wrap and a whole lot of tape, the queens needed to create “wearable pop art,” which lead to “hellish ASMR” as they snap-crackle-popped their outfits together in short time. Even if tape couldn’t hold everything up, it was fun to see everyone’s personal styles shine through, and Bosco—becoming quite the Mini Challenge maestro—snagged the win for a look that screamed Bosco (by which I mean, her butt cheeks were on full display).

The Set-Up

And then Ru announced what they’ve all been eagerly/nervously anticipating: It’s time for Snatch Game! Jasmine put it bluntly: “This is the challenge of Drag Race. It is the challenge that shows who’s going to be in the top of the season, and who’s not really going to make it too far.” In other words, the pressure is on.

After some excited tittering among the girls, Ru returned to the Werk Room for Walk Throughs, a.k.a. Snatch Game pep talks. As per usual, MamaRu took the opportunity to help the queens really hone in on their characters and find some sort of fresh angle. I thought the assertion that Lady Camden infuse her William Shakespeare with a little bit of Absolutely Fabulous’ Joanna Lumley (Lady’s backup character) was particularly interesting, as was the advice for Daya to channel her love of Ozzy Osbourne into her performance, the same way she does for Crystal Methyd. If there was any cause for concern, it was with Jorgeous, who was feeling anxious about yet another comedic acting challenge. She certainly wasn’t ready to drop her Aubrey Plaza impression on the spot, but she was more confident in her Ilana Glazer, and Ru reminded the queen to view herself from the inside—not the outside—so that she could be more present and in the moment. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it seemed like these queens were ready to smash the Snatch Game!

The Best Snatch Game Moments

First things first: This edition of Snatch Game was given a welcome double-dose of glam thanks to contestants Raven and Dove Cameron (if the bird name pun didn’t land for you until the bird photos showed up on screen, this is a safe space—that one flew over my head, too. Pun intended). They both had sharp answers to every question and nailed the back-and-forth banter with Ru, an essential component of the challenge. As DeJa would later note, Raven—a return contestant from both Season 13 and All Stars 2—might have been the funniest part of the whole thing.

When it came time to meet the panel, things got off to a fine enough start. We met Lady Camden’s randy Shakespeare, Jasmine’s clueless Betsy DeVos (a role once played by Scarlet Envy in Season 11’s “Trump: The Rusical”), Angeria’s extra kooky Tammie Brown, Jorgeous’ studied Ilana Glazer, Willow’s hippy-dippy Drew Barrymore (who forgot she worked with Ru on The World’s Best talent show), DeJa’s boisterous Lil Jon, Bosco’s husky-voiced Droop-touting Gwyneth Paltrow, and Daya’s spirited Ozzy Osbourne. But after the introductions, the rest of Snatch Game played out like one long “it’s chocolate” sad trombone sound. About halfway through, the girls felt it too, and it was clear the energy in the room was just off. That being said, I wanted to take a moment to count down my (completely subjective) list of Snatch Game’s five funniest moments:

5. Jasmine’s Accent Work: Like her performance in “The Daytona Wind,” Jasmine delivered a hilariously inconsistent accent. She may not have had any jokes, but her Midwestern vocal fry still got some giggles out of me.

4. Angeria’s “Nutbush”: I will admit I don’t even know what was going on here, but Angeria channeling Tammie channeling Tina Turner was just the right amount of absurd for my tastes.

3. Camden’s Toothy Grins: Lady Camden made the most of her screen time with a constantly wobbling head and a curling upper-lip, showcasing some great characterization even if her jokes didn’t always land.

2. Everything DeJa Did: DeJa’s Lil Jon was truly the life of the party, certainly looking the part and scoring laughs with every “YEAH!” and “OKAY!” But most importantly, it was clear DeJa had really thought this one through, with comedic answers that had a real effortlessness to them. She was having a ball, and I had a ball watching her.

1. Jorgeous’ Confusion: But my biggest laugh of the whole challenge wasn’t even part of the Snatch Game—it was during a confessional when Jorgeous wondered allowed, “Miss Lady Camden, she is… who—Beethoven, right?” Never change, Jorgeous.

The Looks

On the runway, the divas were absolutely divine in Holy Couture, which proved to be a category up for some creative interpretation. First out was DeJa, looking to the Skyes as Joan Of Arc by-way-of Zendaya at the 2018 Met Gala. Jasmine’s inspiration was astrological with a split-tone gown that gave way to a sparkling galaxy dress—two looks in one like a true Gemini. Angeria nailed every detail of her Church Lady get-up, while Bosco couldn’t kick the burlesque habit in her devilish nod to nuns (that hooved footwear is everything). Willow’s wild Bleeding Tooth Fungus piece was a true standout, a whimsical tribute to her spiritual relationship with psychedelics. Jorgeous worshipped a different kind of drug, serving Holy Smokes in her most conceptual runway yet. Lady Camden sang the praises of The Spice Girls with a party-ready look that was a clever melange of all five spices, and Daya took an unplanned tumble in her Bride-of-Judas gown but saved it with some badass bravado.

The Critiques

With all eight girls on stage, Michelle kicked things off by saying, “I’m just kind of speechless with this Snatch Game. I don’t know where everybody went.” Thus began Detective Visage’s investigation into the mystery of “Who Killed Snatch Game?” DeJa was removed from the suspect list rather quickly, with the judges noting that she was the one that was successfully funny in the challenge. As the only queen to get roundly positive critiques, it was clear DeJa Skye was this week’s top queen, finally scoring her much deserved point on the leader board.

As for everyone else, well, they seemed pretty aware that any of them could be on the chopping block. Despite that, the critiques weren’t all doom and gloom—there was a surprising amount of levity (Carson’s joke that Jasmine took Betsy DeVos’ job more seriously than Betsy got a huge laugh), and Dove Cameron proved herself to be an incredible addition to the Judge’s Panel with insightful observations and fantastic constructive feedback. After deliberations, the queens were brought back for a shocker: All seven of them were up for elimination and would need to Lip Sync For Their Lives… but not now. Ominously, Ru invited them all to a Lip Sync LaLaPaRuZa Smackdown to determine who would sashay away. To be continued!

Burning Questions

Copy-Snatch

After Gwyneth and Ozzy matched with two Snatch Game answers in a row, Bosco wondered if Daya was looking over her shoulder, which felt like a tease of some drama to come, but the thread is just left dangling. Honestly, if Daya was copying answers as an in-character bit, then props to her for finding a funny way into the challenge, though that was certainly not clear in the episode. I don’t see Bosco as one to hold grudges, but could this thread get picked up in the coming week? Or will the impending LaLaPaRuZa mean it gets brushed aside?

Next Week: Let’s Get Ready To Rumble

We’ve seen a LaLaPaRuZa before (when All Stars 4 gave its eliminated queens a chance to Lip Sync their way back into the competition), but that doesn’t mean we know what format to expect for this “Extra Special Episode.” What’s in store for us??? There’s a chance all seven queens could be asked to lip sync at once—with DeJa watching from the sidelines—although that certainly wouldn’t fill up an entire episode, so I’m anticipating a tournament-style event with random pairs of queens going head to head until we’re left with the bottom two. As the teaser shows, assassins Jasmine and Jorgeous feel pretty confident, but it’s worth noting that we’ve yet to see three of these queens (Angie, Bosco, Willow) compete in a traditional lip sync. Anything can happen, and I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about the possibilities.

The Other Half Of The Story

You know the drill: If you’re not watching Untucked, well, you’re missing out, babe! Let’s shout out a few of the most notable moments form this week’s episode.

Backstage, the girls were rattled, but they still took the time to toast DeJa on her win, whose big moment was somewhat undercut but the gag at the end of the episode. Still, it was nice to see the hard-working queen get her shine—even if Jasmine did try to jump in to talk about herself.

Not knowing what was to come, Jorgeous shared her exhaustion, as she was certain she was in the bottom two for the week. Just in the nick of time, a video message came through and it was from the queen’s entire family (including her (hot) brother), who were so lovely and supportive, clearly proud of their little star. The whole thing had Jorgeous in tears, but it was a much needed confidence booster, also reminding her that she has the enthusiastic support for her Season 14 sisterhood.

Willow recalled her joke from a few episodes back: “Just you watch, there’s going to be a challenge we all bomb”—very ironic in retrospect. Sometimes it sucks to be right! Do all of those psychedelic mushrooms give Willow a glimpse into the future?

I’m all in on Dove Cameron after this week. The actor/singer/former Disney Channel star was a blast on Snatch Game, a thoughtful guest judge, and a really warm presence among the girls in Untucked, sharing a wisdom beyond her years. She knew she didn’t see these queens at their best, so she reassured them that good things can come from failure (and that delusion is helpful… sometimes). What do Dove stans call themselves? I want to be part of the flock!

The Serve-ey w/ Kerri Colby

Each week, we’ll get to learn more about one of the queens of season 14 when they take our brief questionnaire, a.k.a. The Serve-ey. They’ll all get the same six questions, and then we’ll throw in one final “wildcard” question just for fun. This week: It’s everyone’s favorite auntie, Kerri Colby!

1. In keeping with the season promo’s board game theme: What was your favorite game growing up and why?

Well, I have like 3000 answers for you. I’m going to sound so weird here, but I’ve always been obsessed with games that are basically like simulations, which is kind of how I taught myself how to be the person that I wanted. This is probably going to get so deep, I apologize. But, for me, I was raised so constricted, that I didn’t have access to really explore and find the type of person that I wanted to be. So I literally would use games like The Game Of Life. I loved that game, because it kind of mapped out—in my little weird head—how I wanted things to go. Because you could either go to college or not go to college, then you’d get a better spin at life, and then if you get the $100,000 car, you can keep winning and you can retire at Millionaire Estates or Countryside Acres. So I would literally play Life all the time because I wanted to understand how life works.

And then, in a digital sense, I kind of graduated from that board-game mindset over towards things like—oh my god, I would spend hours playing Zoo Tycoon. I was obsessed because I was like, “I want to build the world!” And from my mom, I would get “screened” every time I would play games because I’d be gone for hours, so then my mom would do an inventory check of me to make sure I wasn’t misbehaving or watching porn or whatever the fuck. She’d be like, “What are you doing? What have you done on this computer? Let me see; pull up everything!” And when she would see the zoos that I would make, she sometimes would just cry because I would literally build these intricate zoos. I had all the expansion packs, so I would work on, like, restoring the endangered species and trying to find new ways make the park the best with a 100% satisfactory rating. These were the things I was obsessed with from, like, 8 to 10 years old.

And then I think I graduated from that into The Sims, and I lost my shit playing The Sims. But honestly, I tell people this: I turned the way that I played The Sims literally into the blueprint of how I live my life as Kerri. Because Kerri literally is a Sim character from the gods that I created, because I always was so obsessed with this fantasy.

Right! These games actually provide a space to explore options for yourself, even if you don’t realize it at the time.

Oh my god, yeah. And, for me, it was a projection thing because I was raised, as I’ve said, so conservative, and I felt so trapped. And I wasn’t really a rebellious person, I wasn’t like, “Fuck the system! Break everything!” I was more like, “Okay, well, I’m really unhappy. So I’m going to almost astral project through a game and try to see if I can find a life that would make me happy.” And I always knew, like, “Okay, I could actually work really hard and make this a reality.” The video game world, for the earlier parts of my life, was huge because it was my outlet, my escape.

2. How would you say the city you’re from helped define your drag?

Pretty much everything about my aesthetic—if you do your research—it comes straight out of Texas’s armpit, or asshole. I literally took that everyday bimbo, housewife, trophy wife-type vibe because—let me tell you something about Dallas, Texas: They are covered in them. You know, I couldn’t play with Barbies, but who needs those when you’re walking around malls in Texas. [Laughs.] I was obsessed with the big, blonde bombshell, and back in the time when I was being raised, the girls were wearing, you know, six-and-a-half-inch stilettos, they had all their little kids in matching outfits, getting into their all-black Chevy Suburban with black rims on the lift kit, okurrr.

So, again, it was kind of a projection thing. I would be out and about in Texas, and I would see someone who was giving what I was obsessed with, and I was like, “Can I ever like be that? I would love to be that!” I’m definitely inspired by trophy wives around the world. I love a good pageant mug, I love a good puss, just glamour-puss is forever my favorite go-to. Because you can play with glamour-puss; you can make glamour-puss a superhero, a supervillain, a supermodel, a super-slut—it’s always super though. And so I’ve always been obsessed with that aesthetic when it comes to Texas for sure.

3. With this season’s candy bar twist, I’m curious: If you were a piece of candy, what kind would you be?

Ugh, people are going to say I’m so ugly if I use this one. I mean, personally, I’m obsessed with Heath Bars, because I love anything that is like chocolate that’s wrapped around something else, that is embedded in something—that you have to, like, either suck on for a while and get every flavor, or you can just chew through it really quickly and you get hit with just a freaking umami of like, “Whoa, there’s salty, sweet, there’s nuts, there’s caramel, there’s toffee, and there’s chocolate.”

To be very honest with you—and this is not me being corny—I actually am obsessed with RuPaul’s chocolate bar. Because, when I first ate it, I was like, “What the actual fuck is in my mouth right now?” [Laughs.] Because I was like, “I taste cinnamon. I taste a sugar, I taste a little bit of caramel, I taste peanut butter.” I was like, “Wait, okay, am I crazy? Or am I tasting all these things?” And then I read the back and I was like, “Oh Miss Thing says she’s going to just mix every flavor and put it in chocolate.” I live. [Laughs.]

4. What can you tell us about your “confessional” interview look? How did you decide what to wear? What do you think it says about your style out of drag?

It’s funny because I think, to me, the confessional look was the one that I personally was the most invested in. It just meant the most to me because I’ve watched the show for years—my first introduction to Drag Race, ever, was season five. And I remember: The runway was where you got to see the queen, the Werk Room was where you got to meet the queen, and the confessional was where you got to know the queen. And, throughout my life, people have always thought so many things about me—people just have always assumed so much. I don’t I really overshare, so I usually am someone that I kind presents myself with what you see, and then you kind of think what you want about me. And then, if it’s true, I’ll tell you, and if it’s not, we’ll go with it and keep it a fantasy.

So, the confessional look, for me, was so personal because I’m far from the first trans woman to be on the show, but this was a unique opportunity where I was able to walk into the franchise being completely me. And I asked them, "Is it okay if I kind of embody a more ultra-femme spirit for my confessionals?” It wasn’t even about the drama of like, “Can you do that on Drag Race?” It’s more of a consideration thing because, you’ve got to remember, a lot of these girls put a little powder over their face, they tap their forehead with a tissue paper, and they put on a t-shirt, and then they go. So it’s a lot quicker. Versus me, being in glam, you have to make sure that you set your time aside. If we had interviews in the morning, you had to wake up extra early because you had to put on a little mug, then get my hair pressed and all this stuff. So I knew I was taking on a lot.

And this is just to any future trans girls if they want to be on the show: If you want to be glam in your interviews, prepare yourself because it’s a lot of extra work. But, for me, it was so rewarding because I want to be able to watch this back and see the person that I always hoped to see growing up watching Drag Race. So, being able to embody that—whether it’s extra, silly, funny, auntie, whatever it is—it just made me feel so much more at home, personally, because now I see someone on my screen that I identified with, and I wasn’t afraid to be extra and be that bad bitch.

5. What’s a fun fact you can share about one of your season 14 sisters that might surprise the fans?

Ooh, I have like a couple. Yes, Angeria really is shaped like the letter “P” in drag. Two, Jasmine does actually talk that much, that’s why we call her "Mouth Almighty.” Three, Daya Betty is that tall—that bitch is gigantic, especially in some of them heels. Four, Jorgeous really is that tiny; she is so small. [Laughs.] And then five is that, yes, Bosco is actually is that observant. She was so observant the whole season that I was like, “Low-key, this girl hates me.” And then especially afterwards, once the anxiety of the show was over, and with her owning her truth and coming out as Trans, I realized it wasn’t even about a negative type of observing. It was more like—with me and her the whole season—she was processing a reality that was literally just screaming and squawking and dipping and acting a fool right in front of her. And I feel like, once we left the show, it was just so amazing to see her come into herself and own her truth. I was just with her in Seattle, and we had the best time. I was giving me very, “Alexa, play Katy Perry ‘I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It.’” [Laughs.]

6. Here’s a chance to shout out another drag performer, designer, hair & makeup artist, etc… who really helped inspire you or prepare you for your journey on Drag Race.

There’s a couple people here. My number one “thank you” forever will go to my two aunties, Kylie Sonique Love and Brooke Lynn Hytes. They got me the most prepared I ever could have been to give the best of what I could have given. Brooke Lynn is, hands down, a professional and an amazing, absolute lunatic, and I love her. She’s an OCD queen as well, so she was very much telling me tips and tricks about where your headspace should be when you’re on the floor, because that headspace is going to be what keeps you and what pushes you through.

And Kylie broke down where my heart-space should be. Because she had the best insight, I think, for any of the girls who do go into this experience as a Trans woman, because she’s done the original, she found her truth, and then she came back on All Stars. And it’s not easy, but she made it look so beautiful, so graceful, and she soared through her competition and won. And so she was telling me all these little things like, when you wake up in the morning, try to do a little yoga. You’re going to be by yourself for a lot of time, so talk to yourself, but don’t be crazy about it. Literally walk yourself through each new day in the Werk Room. What can I do right now to get me in the best headspace, to be the most successful? When you’re waking up in the morning, actually take time to make your bed, lay your toothbrush out, have your favorite soap ready.

Love the experience and the experience will end up loving you back. I remember being a little stressed or freaked out so many times, you know, and it’s natural! But replaying Kylie’s kind, kind words in my head just made me feel like, “Okay, Kerri, you got this. You can wake up today—yes, you’re up super early, but you’re gonna slay it. And you’re going to enjoy this and you’re going to have fun.”

7. Wildcard: Over the course of the season, we’ve really seen you blossom into this mother figure, this support system, not only to your Trans sisters in the cast, but also to the fans online, on Twitter—

I knew you were going to bring Twitter into this because they are acting a fool right now. [Laughs.]

Well it’s because we miss seeing you on the show! We need to get our Kerri fix somewhere.

Aw, I love that so much. It makes me like pinch myself a lot because I can’t believe people actually care about my bullshit.

Let’s put a pin in the fans just for a second, because I wanted to ask: Who are some of the women—throughout your life—that have really helped lift you up and been your support system?

Oh my goodness. There are many from different stages and times, But I would say the most consistent one—when I when I look back through the journey of my of my life, there is one person who stands out to me as always being an inspiration, a goddess, a blueprint, and a mother to me, and that would be Sasha Colby. It’s funny because I guess it kind of runs in the genes, because we’re both Leos, so it’s really interesting to see how parallel a lot of our lives are. It’s insane. She is one of those people who has such an impact on people without even knowing it, without even realizing it. And, from before I met her, she inspired. She enthralled me with inspiration.

You know how normally people say, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Because, if you do, it might break your fantasy, it might shatter your world. Well, I would say with her it’s the opposite. Meeting her, she’s even more than you would have envisioned her to be. If she meets someone and she’s out and about, she’s actually going to treat you like a best friend—she’s not gonna treat you like a like a fan. If you’re in a show with her, she will actually get you in the right headspace and gets you together to make sure that you go out and you give your best, no matter what it is. It could be a show at a bar at one o'clock in the morning, or it could be a gigantic competition and pageant where she’s competing against you—she will still pour her soul out to make sure that you’re in your best headspace. Because that’s all that we can be. That’s all we can give.

My other little mother—I like to call her—out there is Mariah Carey. And she has a famous saying that she’s going to do the best she can with what she’s got. When you actually take it back home with you, it’s not saying, “I’m going to do the best always,” but “with whatever I’ve got—if I’ve got one penny, I’m going to do the best I can with it.” And both those ladies—one says it and sings it out, which we see on TV, but the other one, I have had the pleasure to actually live through that it with them, being in their truth. So it’s definitely a full circle moment.

And speaking of full circle moments, you really have become this source of inspiration for so many people Have you been surprised by the reaction since the season started airing?

Absolutely. I never thought that being called “Tranos” would be such a compliment. [Laughs.] It’s funny because some people, when they see me act a fool like that, they’re like, “Oh, there she goes, girl, it’s all going to her head.” And what’s funny is, I think that we always take things at face value, but it’s about the intention. And what is so interesting about the love that I get like—yes, it’s a little eccentric, it’s a little crazy, but I think that the kids are stir-crazy. I think they wanted a Trans Barbie doll to play with for years. And now that they have it, they kind of just have—it’s almost like someone saying, “I want a pony for Christmas,” and then someone’s like, “Well, I bought you a whole horse farm!” You know? The kids kind of lost their mind a little bit, but it’s because they are so just overwhelmed by it, by that moment.

I made a tweet—which some people have opinions about it, and it’s fine—where I was like, “Who’s ready to transition?” And people were like, “Oh my god, this girl is crazy. She is just riding the wave with this whole Trans thing.” And, well, a little bit, but I used my platform to ask a question to make people more comfortable to share. And, if you go through those comments, there are a lot of sweet angels. You can tell where their headspace is because you can see it you can feel tweets—Twitter has a weird sixth sense, and you can feel if someone’s being honest or shady, or if someone’s almost giving you a cry for help through a keyboard. You can see that there are these sweet angels that are out there like, “Oh my god, I think I’m ready. Oh my god, what is my next step?” And that is what the purpose of the tweet was. It’s not about the 10,000 people who like it and laugh at it, it’s about those 5 to 10 real people who probably never felt comfortable to talk about their truth, who never felt okay to share who they are on the inside with the public. But because of a silly girl—who acted a fool on TV and shared her truth and helped others own their truth on a show—is asking on Twitter, in an almost anonymous way, "Who’s ready to transition?” Now we have people coming forward and saying like, “Oh, you know what? I am! What are those steps?”

And that’s where I personally I take that liberty to be like, “Well, reach out to your local LGBTQ health providers—they actually can get you on hormones, they can help with access to your surgeries, or things that you might want to achieve as a woman.” But now they have the knowledge to go and seek that out. They’re not just here with a dream and no blueprint. We’re here to give the girls a little bit of what they need, or even a confidence boost, you know? Sometimes a simple gesture can go so, so, so, so far. And that’s literally what we do.

All that craziness on Twitter, that’s literally what it’s about. Because, if you look at Jesus, what did he do in the reality of the world? He walked into the absolute hottest messes of places, and he said, “I just want to be present, I just want to touch you, I just want to love you, and I just want to build you up to be something better than you were when you walked in.” And I can’t say I am Jesus, at all, in that respect. But, being raised in the church, I understand that fellowship spirit of “Let me just give you a hand, a shoulder, and a genuine heart for a moment in time. And let’s see what you do with it.” Because I guarantee you’re going to do something better than you would have done without that. You know, that’s what it’s about. And it’s a blessing.

The Looks You Didn't See

It’s practically tradition that eliminated queens will take to social media to show off the stunning looks they didn’t use on the runway. Every week, we’ll reserve this space to shout out our favorite “unseen looks.“

Kornbread “The Ankle” Jeté

@kornbreadTMFS

Walk into the room LOAF FIRST Photo: @dmvrtinez https://t.co/1l3u6rCQXk

6:46 PM - 12 Mar 2022

For the first time this season, Kornbread has graced us with a peek at the look she would’ve worn for the Holy Couture runway—and it’s a gag! Ms. Bread is our own personal Jesus, complete with a beard and the ‘ole water-into-wine trick. Praise her!! Also don’t miss: Alyssa Hunter praising pageantry, Orion Story serving flower power, plus glimpses at Kerri Colby and Kornbread’s unused Snatch Game characters.

Gagatrondra! It's The Tweets Of The Week

We wrap up every newsletter with a rundown of some of our favorite reaction tweets of the week, so use #DragRace and you may find yourself here!

Contra Versial

@VersialContra

Deja Skye on stage whilst every single queen gets dragged by all 4 judges back to back #DragRace https://t.co/Az7MBUOeBM

9:54 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Frank Costa

@feistyfrank

not Lady Camden serving Lord Farquaad 💀 #DragRace https://t.co/517keFyza3

8:37 PM - 11 Mar 2022

momo 💫

@reecie_pc

The girls in Untucked trying to figure out who’s going home this week #DragRace https://t.co/CoCLtAuUgH

9:23 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Jaime Lizardo

@jaimlizardo

#DragRace those were the days, here we go, Top 8 3 weeks in a row LET’S GO!! https://t.co/uEaAwIdf1H

11:16 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Want More?

This week on The Pit Stop, Monét X Change is joined by comedy queen Bianca Del Rio to dig into where and when this Snatch Game went so, so wrong. “Choices!,” Bianca says. Check it out below:

The Pit Stop S14 E10 | Monét X Change & Bianca Del Rio Sip N’ Snatch | RuPaul’s Drag Race

#RuPaul's Drag Race #Newsletter #Kerri Colby #Snatch Game S14 #The Sims #Zoo Tycoon

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gaysianthirdspace · 6 years

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Follower Friday: oh-it-toshi

Follower Fridays is a series of profiles highlighting members of Gaysian Third Space to showcase the diversity of gaysians in the Community. This week’s featured member is @oh-it-toshi.

Who are you?

Hello! I'm toshi. Sassy, vain, insane, and a whole lotta brain~ My life offline and on social media are not mirror images. I'm also 1/4 Japanese, 1/4 Korean, 1/4 Chinese, and 1/4 Vietnamese. I werk 24 hours a day, researcher by day and drag queen by night.

Where are you from?

Born and raised in Richmond, Virginia but living in Berkeley, California now finishing up school and looking for work! But I've lived all over including Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Thailand, England, Canada, and in North Carolina for school.

What do you do?

I'm currently finishing up my last semester at UC Berkeley where I was a PhD student in Performance Studies. I work part-time at a restaurant and am working on improving my drag and acting skills for work in theater/film.

What are you passionate about?

Sex. Seriously. I research sexual behavior and practice within queer Asian & Asian American communities. I interview porn stars, go-go dancers, and drag queens. I analyze data from Tinder, Jack'd, Grindr, and Chaturbate. I am constantly watching and reading about sex, for business and for pleasure. Ask me for more details ;D

What is your dream job (real or fantasy)?

Honestly, I love performing and would love to be a drag queen that can actually support herself and these damn high rent prices in the Bay. I also wanted to be a porn actor at one point. Go-go dancing is also on the bucket list.

If you could change the world with one idea, what would it be?

Sex is amazing and natural and should be talked about so that people of all genders, races, body types, sexual orientations, etc. can understand it and be better educated about it!!

#gaysianthirdspace #followerfriday #gaysian

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thotyssey · 6 years

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On Point With: Megami

If ComicCon and DragCon had a baby, she’d grow up to be this new queen! And in a modern queer pop culture where drag and genre cosplay are increasingly melding together, it will be goddesses like Brooklyn native Megami D.Vil (better known simply as Megami) who will be leading the freaky masses to a new horizon of performance entertainment.

Thotyssey: Hello Megami, seasons greetings! The heat just came on in my apartment today. This is great drag weather, isn't it?

Megami: It really is! Gür! I’m a Thicc Woman. I sweat walking to the train!

Oh me too, it's tragic! So, what were you more excited about these past few months: DragCon or ComicCon?

Ugh! That’s so hard! It’s like choosing between my children! Do I choose the pretty one, or the fun one!? I was really looking forward to both for different reasons. At DragCon, I got to see all my fav NY girls (from on Drag Race and off), buy their merch, feel beautiful! And this has been my 10th year going to NY ComicCon, so it’s been my yearly geek pilgrimage since I was 19.

I mean, for both Cons it’s so great to just be in a place where my weird hobbies and interests are celebrated; as both a Queen and a Geeky Cosplayer. Although, I did get to dress as Sailor Moon Darth Vader for NY ComicCon... so I suppose that edges out DragCon by a hair. Haha!

Understood! It actually feels like the worlds of drag and sci-fi fangeekery blend a little more each year, don't they?

They do! Crazy characters, stunning looks... they’re highly compatible. And I certainly try my best to make them blend as much as I can.

I started doing drag about two years ago when I won the Gay Geeks of New York cosplay lip sync show GeekSync (which I’m hosting at the West End Lounge for the second time this October), but I’ve always loved to do cosplay drag looks, even before I performed.

It’s always been my goal to merge gay culture with geek culture as much as I can--to let all the queer geeks out there know, like, “Hey! It’s not weird at all to geek out about Star Wars and Game of Thrones as much as Drag Race, or...” ugh...I don’t know what gays like...”the gym!” Like the things you like with your full heart. Your geeky passions are what make you unique!

Werk! I was in the judge’s panel for Miss Nerd at Rockbar in June... your Bowie / Labyrinth look and number was a crowd pleaser!

Yeah. And I mean, I won Miss Fan favorite, so the crowd definitely responded to my geekery! I’m not much of a pageant girl, but I definitely already have some highly ambitious gags planned for next June. I’m coming for that crown! Haha!

You’ll be the queen to beat! “Megami,” by the way, is a video game reference, right?

Yes! Megami actually means “Goddess” in Japanese. I took [Japanese] for two years in college ‘cause I’m a super anime loving Otaku Weeaboo and thought I could learn enough to not need subtitles! (Spoiler: I did NOT. Japanese has three alphabets, and is one of the hardest languages in the world to learn).

But yeah, Megami D.Vil was inspired by the video game Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga ‘cause I’m a Goddess and a Devil. I know. Incredibly convoluted. Nobody understands my name. I have to spell it out all the time. But like I say at all my shows: I’m a Puerto Rican man pretending to be a Japanese woman who acts like a white girl who thinks she’s a black girl... so eat your heart out Rachel Dolezal! Step your pussy up!

And Megami is actually my old cat’s name. So every time I go visit my parents and someone calls “Megami!” It’s very confusing for the both of us.

Are you, like, a JPop and KPop fan, also?

Oh I love KPop and Jpop! Koda Kumi, Twice!, Girls Generation, of course Utada Hikaru... there’s not a single self-respecting weeb out there who doesn’t know every single word to Utada’s “Simple and Clean.” It’s the weeb anthem! And I’ve performed songs in Japanese and Korean before. And in Spanish too, while I’m at it.

I draw my inspirations from all aspects of my life. If it’s my own Latin culture or gay culture or geekery or music... I will never be shy about saying “Hey everyone! This is an awesome thing I love and that inspires me! Love it, too!”

Side Geek Question: lots of fans seem unhappy with the casting of Ruby Rose as a lesbian Batwoman... even LGBT fans. What are your thoughts?

Okay, real talk. I wasn’t gonna watch even if, I don’t know, Ellen was Batwoman. Haha ...Maybe if it was like... Meryl... or Gaga... or Cher... Cher Batwoman would be AMAZING! I have two X-Men / Dark Phoenix tattoos on my arm, so I’m staunchly on the Marvel side of the fence in these kinda fights. I’m more upset that the godawful-looking Dark Phoenix movie is getting released than about Ruby being Batwoman. Like, Sophie Turner apparently graduated from the Kristen Stewart school of Non-Acting, with all 2.5 facial expressions she’s capable of emoting. I really, really wanted Disney to give X-Men the MCU overhaul.

But at the end of the day, fans (LGBT or not) will always get their panties in a twist about EVERYTHING! EVERY SINGLE THING! (Hey, myself included, proven by my previous statements). Across all fandoms, these stories and characters are sooo precious to us Geeks. They were our friends, and reasons to keep going on and be brave when the world told us we were too weird, or too weak, or too queer. We all have deep connections with our fandoms. So it’s hard sometimes when a story or character that’s precious and personal fells like they’re being mishandled by greedy corporations. Art is personal.

You’ve been hosting Thirsty Thursdays at Mom’s Kitchen & Bar in Hell’s Kitchen for a few months now. There are certainly no shortage of queens in that neighborhood, but your show seems to be a hit! What’s Thirsty’s winning formula, and how did you land that gig in the first place?

Well, landing the gig was partially luck, partially just impressing the right people. Mom’s was looking for a newer queen to spearhead a Thursday show. They’ve never done anything like this, so they wanted someone they could grow with and establish something fun in a relatively new establishment. So I stepped in with a game plan and a few good recommendations, and we’ve just gone from there.

I think the formula that works for me has been choosing a different theme every week to build each night around. It forces me to come up with fresh material and numbers consistently. I’ve done themes like “Geeks & Gaga” (for the week of NY ComicCon and the A Star is Born premiere), “Ladies of the 80s,” “Extra Divas,” “Ladies Who Rock,” and many others. “Latina Night” and “Halloqween Spooktacular” are coming up very soon.

I think above all, I just like people. Aside from drag, I volunteer with the LGBT organization GGNY (Gay Geeks of NY) as their VP and Art Director. So I’m very used to talking to people, running events, and just letting my terrible personality shine!

Well, it seems like you’re doing great work! And speaking of new gigs, tell us about The Creek & The Cave in Long Island City, where you will be premiering a new monthly drag revue, Gender Blender, on Sunday the 28th!

Yeah! The Creek and the Cave is a well-known comedy club that’s hosted a TON of the world’s best comedians. But they’ve been looking to expand and have different kinds of acts. So I’m bringing the Queer to Long Island City! I have a lineup of cosplayers and queens to kick of this monthly show with a geeky bang!

Wonderful! anything else to report as far as gigs or projects?

Well, on top of hosting Thirsty Thursday every Thursday at Mom’s Kitchen in Hell’s Kitchen from 9-11, I will be hosting GGNY’s Third Annual Geek Sync (the cosplay lip sync competition) Saturday, October 20th at the West End Lounge, from 6-8pm...

... premiering Gender Blender: A Monthly Drag Show, Sunday October 28th at Creek & the Cave, and in the near future doing a Miss Nerd 2018 Miss Fan Favorite show at Rockbar. And of course, whatever other little gigs I can wiggle my size 10 rainbows pumps into.

Excellent, have fun with everything! Last question: best video game ever?

This is a hard question!!! Again, cruelty to animals. I’m calling PETA!

Final Fantasy X. I have it on PS2/ PS3/ PS4 and soon the Switch. I’ve played through it a million times, and I still cry at the end every time. And the sequel X-2 is the SINGLE gayest piece of media that has ever existed. The Sailor Moon costume transformations, High Summoner Yuna becoming the Pop Star sensation, Leblanc the Drag Queen. Gay gay gay!

Though I do plan on getting married to my imaginary boyfriend on November 7th because of Mass Effect... so it’s Sophie’s Choice... or Shepard’s Choice, actually.

Play on, Megami! Thank you!

Megami hosts “Thirsty Thursdays” every week at Mom’s (8pm), and “Gender Blender” monthly last Sundays at The Creek & The Cave (7pm). Check Thotyssey’s calendar for all her scheduled gigs, and follow Megami on Facebook and Instagram.

On Point Archives

#onpointwith #megami #shin megami tensei

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deathsteel · 3 years

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This Ain't a Scene Its a God Damn Drag Race

~Part Four~

“Woof,” Dianne remarked under her breath from her place on Holly’s left.

And as the mini-challenge’s guest judge came in through the workroom’s main entrance, well Holly’s long neglected libido couldn’t help but agree. Though Holly’s type was usually more along the lines of otter than a full on muscle bear it was clear that the man decked out in a grey Marine Corps t-shirt and snug fitting camo pants taking his place at Gabby’s side had clearly worked to earn his very accurate nickname.

The queens engaged in some polite applause for the sergeant, causing the newcomer to smile widely at them revealing endearing little forehead wrinkles and crinkles at the corners of his eyes that gave away the fact that the drill instructor probably smiled quite a lot.

“Ladies,” The guest acknowledged, not even faltering with the title or blinking at the little sigh that came out of Kim when the queen on Holly’s other side heard the legitimate deep Southern drawl of the judge’s voice. “I’m here today to make you sweat.”

“Yes, please,” Tasha said loud enough to earn a bark of laughter turned cough from Sam who was standing with Zeke off to the side.

“Sergeant Lafitte,” Gabby began, putting a hand on the other man’s bicep only to pause for a moment to squeeze the muscle with an appreciative little moue. “May I call you The Bear?”

“You can call me Benny, sugar,” the drill instructor replied with a wink, earning a laugh/cough from Zeke this time and a scowl from Sam.

“Ooh, well Benny then,” Gabby continued, fanning himself dramatically with his free hand as he turned back to the queens. “Will be putting you through your paces at booty camp and the rules for this challenge are simple, last queen standing wins a special advantage for this week’s runway.”

There were excited titters amongst the queens, again all for the cameras because by this point all of the contestants knew what the stakes of the mini-challenges were, but half of drag was acting so they made it look good.

“Well, alrighty-then,” Gabby bubbled for the camera. “Have at ‘em, Benny-Bear.”

The sergeant smiled again at the host before doing a crisp turn on his heel to face the contestants. Gabby started to swan over towards Sam and Zeke, off camera but close enough to get reaction shots should something outrageous happen.

“Ten-Hut, ladies!” Benny shouted, crossing his arms over his chest as he inspected the queens in front of him for a long moment. “We’re starting with jumping jacks girls, assume the position.”

“I’ll assume your position,” Dianne offered with a flirty wink at the drill sergeant.

“You’d probably assume right,” Benny fired back with a wink of his own as he paced in front of the row of contestants. “Now start jumping.”

Now Holly had a lot of experience dancing and struttin’ and shaking her ass off in heels, but she’d never bothered trying to do a jumping jack and it was honestly much harder than she’d thought it would be. Within a minute she was sweating and desperately wishing she had swiped some anti-perspirant across her hairline before starting.

“I don’t know but I been told,” Benny sing-songed in time to the queens’ measured pace, gesturing for them to repeat it when they just kept jumping and panting. “But drag queen shade is mighty cold.”

Kim laughed as they all repeated the sergeant's words and Holly resented the younger queen for having caught her breath enough to do that.

“Okay, now switch to push ups,” Benny instructed, stopping to demonstrate the exercise when Dianne claimed to not know what it was. Holly took the opportunity to mop up her face with the neckline of her tank top while the other queens admired Benny’s….*ahem* form.

“Got it, sweetheart?” Benny asked Dianne who was fanning herself as she watched the other man get back on his feet and earning an enthusiastic nod in reply. “Great, now drop and give me fifty!”

“Fucking fifty?” Holly heard Tasha mutter under her breath and Holly really couldn’t agree more.

They were about twenty push ups in when Benny’s combat boots stomped quickly out of Holly’s eyeline to the other end of the workroom.

“Eva Destruction, you’re out,” Benny’s voice declared to the room at large.

“Whatever,” Holly heard Eva reply bitterly. “I’m too old for this shit.”

Pull ups knocked out Tasha Salad (“I ain’t winning nothing with these skinny chicken arms, baby.”) and Dianne Tawank kicked off her heels during high-knee running in place (“I’d rather just watch the show, darling.”) which just left Holly Cummunion and Kim Chi battling it out once Benny instructed the queens to start doing sit ups.

“Alright ladies,” Gabby called from across the workroom. “This will decide who gets this week’s special advantage so you better werk!”

Holly let out a sigh of relief as her overheated skin hit the cool surface of the workroom’s concrete floor; in fact she was pretty sure she had never been more satisfied with being on her back than at that very moment.

“We're doing sit ups till one of you cries uncle, ladies,” Benny declared, planting himself firmly in front of the spot that Holly and Kim had lain down to do their sit ups. Which was conveniently right where the cameras could get a wide shot of almost the entire workroom.

“Well I’d prefer to call you daddy, but uncle works too I guess,” Kim quipped brightly, surprising a laugh out of Holly even as they started in on their sit ups with Benny counting them off. The younger queen really had the whole pretty and charmingly dumb act down pat.

It didn’t take long before Holly’s abs started burning. Like, she’d already been sweaty and out of breath before she and Kim had started their showdown, but now her arms were trembling and she was genuinely struggling to keep pace with the other queen as she plowed through sit ups like it was nothing. Holly started making what she was sure were supremely unattractive little grunts every time she reached the apex of a sit up and her sweat band wasn’t doing much to keep her eyes from burning; probably melting her eyeliner right off her face.

Holly could feel herself starting to slow down even before she saw Benny’s focus shift towards her faltering sit ups and it wasn’t less than five reps later that the drill sergeant was barking out that Kim Chi was the winner of the week’s mini-challenge.

“I’d say ‘fuck me’,” Holly drawled as one of the cameras zoomed in to catch the panting puddle she had collapsed back into on the floor while Kim popped up and did a little victory shimmy. “But I don’t think I’d survive it at this point.”

Holly heard a familiar chuckle above her and looked up to see Sam offering her a hand up off the floor while the cameras trickled away to get shots from the other queens as they mopped themselves up before Gabby gave them further instructions for tomorrow’s runway challenge.

“You did good, man,” Sam said quietly, giving Holly a slap on the back once the queen had been hauled to her feet by the taller man. “I probably couldn’t have done all of that in heels.”

“Sure you could’ve,” Holly replied, taking a hand towel offered to her by one of the PAs, Naomi. (Christ, she must look a sight if Naomi was being nice.) “We just would’ve had to glue them to your feet, it's the only way to learn.”

Sam laughed again and shook a finger at Holly before starting back to his spot next to Gabby that the Pit Crew usually occupied anytime the host was in the workroom. “You remember you said that, Cas.”

Holly frowned in confusion, but shrugged off Sam’s comment quickly; she had to, Gabby was gently shooing the other queens into a straight line and Holly had to rush over to join them.

“Okay, my lovelies,” Gabby said, smiling beatifically as he addressed the assembled queens. “Now that you’ve all thoroughly stretched, it's time to talk about this week’s runway challenge. And Kimmie dear since you won this week's mini-challenge you get an extra scrumptious advantage.”

Kim gave an excited little bounce from her place in line and even Holly’s heart melted a little bit. America was going to love that brilliant little twit when this shit aired.

“Now, Sergeant Lafitte--oh! I’m sorry, Benny,” Gabby continued, winking slyly at the sergeant who was standing at his side in parade rest. “Has brought some friends with him to help you girls with the runway challenge this week. You want to call them in, Benny-bear?”

“Sure, darling,” Benny replied with a dazzling grin at the host that caused Sam to roll his eyes; Holly was pretty sure the cameras didn’t catch that little drama though. The drill sergeant raised his voice and directed it towards the workroom’s double door. “Gentlemen! Forward march!”

The queens all jumped at Benny’s first barked order and Tasha even started to take a hesitant step forward before the double doors swung open to admit a line of five men marching sharply in sync to stand in a mirroring line across from the queens. The men were all wearing t-shirts that sported the names of the different branches of the military, camouflage pants, and combat boots.

And honestly, in Holly’s opinion, they were a pretty tragic looking bunch.

Two of them were at least her age if not older, one looked like he had just come down out of the mountains for the first time in years, and the remaining two looked like they were barely out of high school. The former three men had severe expressions on their faces and the latter two looked disgustingly eager to please. Holly did know which would be worse to work with.

She also had the slightly disturbing thought that if these men really were military like Gabby was obviously hinting then America was in trouble for sure.

However, she couldn’t dwell on it for too long because Gabby was addressing the room again and if she didn’t want to be in the bottom three again this week then she better pay attention.

“Ladies, our guests this week are all either former or current members of the United States Armed Forces. As you can see from their shirts they represent every branch of military service and they also represent the LGBTQ+ community.” Gabby explained. “That’s right, all of these men are hella gay and this week you will be transforming them into the fabulous, kick-ass drag queens they never knew they were meant to be.”

Holly felt her stomach drop. They were supposed to turn these burly, boot-stepping bros in to drag queens? No. No way. The beardy one probably had more hair on his face than all of the competing queens had on their entire bodies! There was not enough NAIR or enough Ms. Manners lessons in the world to smooth out the rough edges on these soldiers. These men had actively volunteered to go to war, hell, they might have even killed people. You could not make a light-hearted, campy drag queen out of an army grunt. It was just impossible.

God, maybe she should have tried a little harder to win the advantage this week.

“Ms. Kim Chi,” Gabby continued, oblivious to Holly’s inner turmoil. “Since you kicked ass at drag booty camp you get to assign which soulja boy will work with each of your fellow queens.”

Kim gave a little squeal of delight before immediately darting over to the youngest of the soldiers and doing a dramatic jump into his arms; forcing the poor boy to catch her to keep them both from falling over.

“Dibs on the cute one!” Kim cried, earning laughter from the Pit Crew and Gabby while the rest of the queens forced smiles and panicked on the inside.

This week’s runway was essentially in the hands of an excitable 20-year old manic-pixie-ladyboy with an addiction to Red Bulls and candy necklaces. Holly wasn’t totally freaking out because Kim generally liked her so she’d probably give her the next youngest soldier even if that kid was a bit of a bean pole, but Tasha Salad...yea, that bitch should be worried. The other queen had been ragging on Kim about being the youngest contestant since day one and Holly knew for a fact that Kim was very very over it.

“Today, dumpling,” Gabby prompted once the laughter had died down.

“Wellllll,” Kim drawled, getting her feet back under her so that she could meander through the line of soldiers; reaching out to squeeze a bicep or ruffle some hair here and there. “I think the only fair way to do this is to pair you boys up with a girl you might have something in common with, some shared life experience. So uh….get in order of oldest to youngest. Girls, you too.”

Holly raised an eyebrow as the queens and soldiers exchanged doubtful looks before everyone began rearranging themselves per Kim’s instructions and oh...oh, tiny infant Jesus, no.

Across from her stood the hairiest, most disheveled soldier (his grey shirt proclaimed him a Marine) that Holly had ever seen in her life. She was pretty sure there were regulations for things like facial hair and stuff in the military, right? Benny and all of the other soldiers were clean shaven except for a few very neat mustaches. Was this guy undercover or something? Trying to infiltrate a particularly militant bunch of Appalachian mountain men?

If so, then this dude’s cover was going to be seriously blown when this episode aired.

“Uh…” Kim said, eyeing the line up, biting her lip before casting an apologetic look in Holly’s direction. “This’ll work. Cute one, you’re with me.”

The young, blonde guy at the end of the row of soldiers smiled winningly at Kim as she bounded back over to the line of drag queens revealing deep set dimples because of course. Holly could only be thankful that she wasn’t Eva because her Navy guy looked like he had never seen a bottle of moisturizer in his life.

“Fantastic,” Gabby gushed. “Now that that is settled, what we’re looking for this week, ladies, is for you to turn your individual star-spangled man with a plan into an all-American beauty queen. The judges are going to be looking for a strong family resemblance and we would also like each duo to perform a patriotic baton routine to honor this wonderful country. You’ve got a lot to do this week ladies so start your engines. And may the best woman win!”

Holly bared her teeth in a smile as Gabby swanned out of the workroom, taking Sam and Zeke with him as he went.

“And we’re clear!” Dorothy, one of the production assistants, shouted once the workroom door had shut behind the show’s name sake. “Gentlemen, feel free to borrow from the vault for your army guy’s runway routine. Baton routine outfits will be provided. You will have two days to prepare for your runway walk and baton routine. Each pair will get one hour of consultation with the choreographer to get their input on your routine, but you are each responsible for creating a unique baton routine on your own. Any questions?”

The vague af instructions were par for the course for the queens so none of the remaining contestants raised their hands, but the tall, lanky boy that Raphael had been paired with raised his hand innocently.

Dorothy just raised her eyebrow and suppressed a sigh, “Yes, you in the camo?”

There were barely concealed giggles and barks of laughter from the rest of the assorted men as the boy (because he was a boy, really how old was this kid?) blushed beet red before he managed to stammer out an answer for Dorothy.

“Are we going to get a break for lunch?” the boy forced out, earning another round of laughter from the queens and a quickly stifled grin from Dorothy as well.

“Maybe this was a good pairing after all,” Raphael announced pointedly in Kevin’s direction, looping his arm through the boy’s before he started pulling him out of the workroom. “C’mon baby, let momma show you where craft services are.”

“Any other questions?” the production assistant prompted again, earning a bevy of head shakes from the remaining men. “Great, well you can use the rest of today to get to know your partner. Your two days of preparation officially starts tomorrow.”

Meaning they could unofficially start prepping today, wonderful. Castiel sighed in relief at being given even an extra half day to try to whip and wax his partner into shape. And with that…

Castiel turned back to his Marine, trying and failing to not be slightly intimidated by the rough exterior of the other man. Who knew maybe he was a softy under that bushy beard?

#fic writing #spn fanfiction #destiel fanfiction #fanfiction #gd drag race #rpdr au

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Cruising for a bruising, Part 5 (Branjie) - Q-Tip & TheDane

Authors note: Thank you everyone for your patience, and for keeping up with this crazy story that Q-tip and I are having so much fun writing!

“We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list”

Brooke was a master at damage control, and Vanjie thanked the gods for it. It had saved their asses countless times, mostly because both of them had a problem keeping their hands to themselves in public places.

Vanjie had barely even recovered from her orgasm, still clinging to her boyfriend, before Brooke had pulled up her sweats and detangled them. She calmed Detox down, the other queen relaxing the moment Brooke had explained that they hadn’t touched anyone’s stuff, Brooke effortlessly standing like a shield between Vanjie and everyone else, the tension in the room officially lifting when Silky made a joke about how someone’s stuff had been touched, everyone erupting into laughter.

Vanjie managed to escape somewhat unnoticed, throwing on her caftans and getting back to her makeup table, everyone else still chatting with Brooke on the other end of the room. Everyone except A’keria who was watching her with a smirk, Vanjie seeing the reason the moment she spotted herself in the mirror. Her mouth was a war zone of red and purple, Brooke really going in on the kiss without a care in the world, but most of it was salvageable, her eyes and brows still in place, though her contour had been halfway destroyed by Brooke’s hands on her face.

“Hey.”

Vanjie was blending her foundation as she peeked over her shoulder, spotting Brooke who was standing with a sheepish grin on her face, a disaster of lipstick matching her own, Brooke’s cheeks still dusted with pink. She had changed too, the lilac color of her caftan just as gorgeous as the first time Vanjie had seen it.

“Do you have room for one more?”

Everyone else was hustling out the doors, all ready and finished. Brooke held up her makeup bag and her mirror, and Vanjie realised that Brooke was asking if they could redo their faces together.

“You sure you’re gonna keep your mess to yourself miss thing?” Vanjie smiled.

“I’ll do my best?”

Vanjie pretended to consider it, gently tapping her brush against her chin. It was a true rarity that she had the upper hand in moments like this. Usually the roles were reversed, Vanjie running around like the confused but enthusiastic puppy needing Brooke’s attention more than she needed air, but if there was one person she could never say no to, it was Brooke.

“Good, cause I don’t want you messing up my shit.”

Brooke laughed, and Vanjie moved aside, Brooke sitting down next to her, instantly moving right up against her, their thighs touching. Brooke caught Vanjie’s foot under the table, hooking their feet together, her hand resting on Vanjie’s hip. They never got ready together, their original unspoken pact of keeping a professional distance in the werk room carrying into their lives off the show so naturally they had never discussed it. In their L.A apartment they each had a drag room, the fact that they needed that space as high on their list as room for Brooke’s cats. Vanjie hoped they could possible get a dog too, though they hadn’t found the perfect one just yet, both of them still traveling so much Brooke was sometimes scared Henry and Apollo would forget who she was all together.

Vanjie drew an invisible line down the center of their table, Brooke’s eyes following her finger.

“That’s your side Mami.”

Brooke snorted. “Sure.”

“Here.” Vanjie handed Brooke a makeup wipe, her boyfriend taking it and wiping her chin, Brooke’s palm covered in red from holding her face in place, Vanjie’s cock twitching.

She talked about it loud and proud, Vanjie happily proclaiming to the world how strong Brooke was, sometimes even semi stalking Brooke at the gym to take video of her to brag online, but few knew how fucking hot she found it that Brooke was stronger than her. Vanjie almost lost her breath sometimes at how easily Brooke could pick her up and throw her around, hold her above her head or press her against a wall.

Vanjie grabbed an extra wipe, taking Brooke’s hand and rubbing the lipstick off. She rarely got to be so close at this stage in the process, Brooke peeking into Vanjie’s mirror to make sure the last of her ruined makeup was gone before she plugged her own in, the light turning on. Vanjie picked up her beautyblender, quickly going in with her heaviest duty dermablend, the high temperatures on the cruise making it even more of a struggle to make sure a mug stayed on. Brooke was painting too, her boyfriend touching up with Krylon instead.

“This is nice.”

“Real nice.”

Vanjie pushed one of Brooke’s lipsticks back, her things already migrating past the invisible line.

Brooke had been nominated as the messiest queen with a unanimous vote from the season 11 sisters, and Vanjie would have to agree, though Brooke would defend herself all the way to her grave. Brock was normally fine, her boyfriend never bringing enough stuff to truly get messy, but Brooke had a way of exploding everywhere.

They had brickered about what makeup belonged to who more times than Vanjie could count whenever they were forced to share space to get into drag. It was the reality of a drag queen’s life that you sometimes get ready in sketchy bathrooms or half broken toilets, which was also why they always tried to avoid working with each other on individual bookings. Vanjie more often than not feeling like she was playing some sick form of memory cards when she was once again sat with two almost identical bottles of pros-aide, trying to decipher from the washed out labels if it belonged to Brooke or to her.

“Just don’t make a habit of coming here.” Vanjie looked at Brooke, a smile playing on her face as she pushed Brooke’s makeup with her hand, Brooke’s stuff already inching her side of the table. “I ain’t got time for your messy ass on the regular.”

Brooke laughed, pressing a quick kiss against Vanjie’s temple. “I love you too.”

Detox was sure she was going to crack a rib, everyone singing along to “Drag is magic”, Nina somehow managing to make a show with kids music not only entertaining but straight up hilarious as she pranced around on the stage, wearing a giant dinosaur costume and shaking her tail to the chorus.

Brooke was dancing too, her movements most of all looking like a noodle that was waved around in the air. Detox hadn’t expected to have anywhere near this much fun on the cruise, yesterday’s water fight and today’s wardrobe spectacle something she had tucked away in the most secret parts of her heart for a rainy day and when drag wasn’t fun at all.

Detox had known Brooke for years, and considered her a friend, a fierce and formidable but also incredibly uptight friend. Detox used to see it as her duty to loosen Brooke up, to introduce her to the fun sides of life, to make sure Brooke also remembered that life was more than competitions and being the best.

Normally Detox would be doing her all to get Brooke drunk and find her some trade, to make sure she was having fun, but as she watched Brooke hoist Vanjie up, settling the smaller queen on her shoulders so Vanjie could see everything, Detox realised Brooke didn’t need her for that anymore. She had Vanjie now, and probably a dinosaur costume in her near future, if the screams of delight coming from Vanjie were anything to believe.

“You ready for the stage?”

Brooke looked at Vanjie one last time, his boyfriend a vision in gold. They were sitting backstage, Vanjie going over her cue cards one last time. They had eaten a late lunch, Brooke hitting the gym with Kameron while Vanjie had just taken a short nap in full face. Brooke coming back to their room, gently waking Vanjie with a can of red bull, his boyfriend already bouncing off the walls once again.

“I was born ready.”

Brooke had to agree. He had never met anyone so effortlessly fun, and though Brooke would rather dance an entire performance en pointe without toe nails, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Vanjie would kill the afternoons entertainment. There were only minutes until the clock struck 10, and one of the most anticipated events of the cruise was about to take off. The Vanessa Vanjie Mateo quiz sold out in minutes the moment the tickets went online. Originally, Brooke had not believed his ears when Vanjie had pitched him the idea, her Silky and A’keria jotting down the outline of it in a single afternoon filled with wine and Chinese food while Brooke had been in Toronto.

“You look it.” Brooke smirked, grabbing Vanjie’s hips and pulling her in. “You always look like perfection.”

“Awh.” Vanjie smiled, running her cards down Brooke’s face. “I think you’re full of it Mama.”

“But is it working?”

“A little too well bitch.” Vanjie leaned down, kissing Brooke, her hand twisted into Brooke’s leather jacket. “You better be keeping those ears open cause I expect you to be the winner of tonight, you hear?”

“We’ll see.”

“Vanjie!” They both looked up, Brooke blushing as one of the stage techs showed their face. There had to be something in the water, or maybe it was just the climate, but Brooke felt unable to keep his hands to himself. “You’re needed!”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanjie threw a thumbs up in the direction of the sound guy, a last smile playing on her lips as she looked at Brooke.

“Gimme kiss?”

Brooke tugged on the gold tassels of Vanjie’s dress, the two of them kissing one last time. “Can’t wait to watch you.”

“You better.” Vanjie laughed, and Brooke released her, the crowds cheer filling his ears before he even truly realised that she was gone.

“Holla’ in the house!” Vanjie slapped her microphone, laughing loudly when the audience jumped. “It’s Miss Vanjie Vanjie Vanjie bitch and tonight, TONIGHT, we’re playing a little game. Y’all always creeping and peeping up in my DM’s and my Twitter, but not today Mary, oh no today I!-” Vanjie pointed at herself. “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo gets something!” Vanjie smiled brightly. “In my hand I have a stack of super secret crazy kooky ninja level questions about me and Brooke Lynn’s personal business.”

The crowd cheered, and Vanjie would have stopped, but she was already on a role.

“The rules are real fucking simple. You guys get it right, I take a shot! B-U-T, if you hos get it wrong, y’all have to drink and pay me a dollar. Why you ask? Cause it takes a lot of money to look this expensive, and I wanna take my boo on a proper resort vacation experience, okay? We talking little umbrellas in the drinks and a private beach so I can oogle his junk like I damn well please. We all comprende?! Good! Cause here comes the first question!”

Watching Vanjie on stage was an experience like no other, and Brooke always enjoyed it more than he could put into words. He had tried to explain to once, to explain how brilliant Vanjie was, but even then it had come off jumbled and crooked, not at all justifying the intense pride, warmth and love Brooke felt in his chest whenever he saw Vanjie in her element.

Tonight however, he saw a Vanjie who was rapidly getting more and more drunk as she tossed back shot after shot, her estimation of the stalking capacities of the gays aboard the ship clearly not calculated correctly. Brooke had originally sat on the edge of the front row, laughing along and waving when it was required, making sure that Vanjie could easily spot him if needed, but right now it seemed like Vanjie needed a water, more than she needed anything else.

The crowd laughed, Vanjie taking another shot and Brooke stood up, making a quick line for the bar, brushing past Nina, Raja and Cracker who had all volunteered to distribute shots to the guests.

“Can I have a water?” Brooke grabbed his phone, quickly filming Vanjie who was loudly quizzing a fan on the lyrics to her track “I’m Vanjie.”

“Sure thing stranger.“ Brooke looked up, the voice weirdly familiar, and that’s when he realised that he knew the bartender, the blonde hair and striped t-shirt giving it away at once.

“Justin? Hi!”

“Woop!” Vanjie drank her shot. “I didn’t expect y’all hos to be so goddamned clever. This whole thing is blowing up in my face in record speed!” Vanjie laughed.

Vanjie had no idea why she had never done this before, the firing back and forth with the audience making her feel like a regular Alex fucking Trebek. She was losing miserably, but this was still easily the most fun she had had at a gig in a long time when she wasn’t dancing.

Vanjie switched to her next card, a giant smile breaking out on her face. “Alright homos, here comes a hard one.” The room spinning slightly but this was one of her favorite questions of the night, a bonus round she had spent extra time on to make sure she would earn at least a few coins. “What’s the original name, and yes you heard me correctly, of the ballet where my boo thang himself, Brooke Lynn Hytes, was cast as the part of death at the Cape Town City Ballet?”

Vanjie’s eyes swept the room. She couldn’t see Brooke, but she knew she had to be out there somewhere.

“I’m real proud cause I went to the trouble of googling this shit myself. Full Nancy Drew mama, I even got myself a reddit profile and shit so y’all can hit me up on there too, and I did it all on pacific ocean wifi, so you KNOW it’s true love.”

There wasn’t not exactly silence at the question, but there certainly wasn’t any correct answers either. Vanjie heard Coppélia and even Dance Macabre, that fairly enough did show up if you googled ballets with death.

“Still no correct guesses?” Vanjie smiled. “I thought you freaks were all up in his life story, creeping and shit.”

“Is it La Bayadére?”

“Wrong! Also that ain’t dutch my dude, that’s a french name if I ever heard one, but dotcha’ all worry, I’mma be a good judy and let you name the english version!”

Someone shouted Swan Lake from the bar and Vanjie was getting ready to enjoy her victory rain of dollars, when she noticed who else was sitting at the bar, Brooke not even looking at her, his back turned to the stage as he talked to the bartender. The same bartender that he spoke to the day before, fucking Justin smiling at Brooke like he was the most amazing thing that had ever ordered a drink.

“Anyone here knows the english version?!” Vanjie yelled, raising her voice but Brooke didn’t even flinch, didn’t even move . He just stood there, the back of his head looking like he was having the time of his life.

“It’s fucking Vier Litl…” Vanjie looked at her card. “Vier Letzte Lieder! Everybody! Fill your glass and take a shot.

Everyone was raising their glasses, but all Vanjie could see was Brooke not paying attention to her.

“Yo! Brooke Lynn Hytes!” Vanjie was nearly screaming, but Brooke finally finally turned around, his eyes wide, her microphone nearly redundant at this point. “You know I’m the greatest good you ever gonna get, so you best pay attention boy!”

Brooke lifted his beer, a smile on his face like Vanjie wasn’t funny, like it was all a joke, and Vanjie was burning, anger swirling with the tequila in her stomach. Brooke’s face was not at all like she had imagined when she had written the question, the affection and admiration she had so hoped for now amusement like she was some animal in the zoo Brooke found fun to have around.

Usually when Brooke attended her shows, he was all but rolling on the floor in genuine laughter, and here he was, smiling like she was merely amusing. Despite the churning in her gut and her fingers tightening around the poor, abused microphone, Vanjie kept a brave face on, quickly moving along because if there was one thing she was, it was professional above all else.

“Alright bitch, I’m ready to leave!” Getting off stage was always the greatest relief, the last of the guests herded out the door by the staff that was now walking around, mopping up the floor and putting chairs back in place. Vanjie had taken a lot longer to get off stage than she normally would, her world spinning, taking her lashes off taking three entire tries, and she had every intention of forcing Brooke to shower with her the moment they got back to their room, her chest already rumbling a little at the pure delight of the idea of Brooke soaping up her body and easing away the pains of corset and heels and way way too many shots.

“Brock! Where you at?” Vanjie stepped out of her shoes, picking them up and putting them in the gym bag she had stolen from Brooke earlier in the day.

“One second!” Vanjie looked for the voice, her stomach dropping completely when she realised Brooke was still sitting at the bar, her boyfriend’s jacket laid over a chair, the beer bottles multiplied from the day before. “I can’t find any paper.”

“Paper? Why the fuck you looking for paper?” Vanjie walked over, her feet hurting with each step she took.

“I just need a moment baby.”

“I have an idea.” Justin smiled, completely ignoring Vanjie as he wrapped his fingers around Brooke’s arm, quickly pushing Brooke’s jacket up, like it was something he was allowed to do, Justin putting the pen in his hand to Brooke’s skin and very clearly writing down a phone number. “There, now you can call me. I’d love to see-”

“Oh, FUCK, no!”

It all happened so fast. Vanjie grabbing Brooke’s half empty drink and throwing it in Justin’s face, the liquid splashing everywhere, some of it hitting Brooke as well.

“You think you can look at my man like that?! I’m not some dumb ass ho that can’t see shit!”

Vanjie voice was so loud Brooke swore the entire ship was looking at them, every staff member still presents stopping dead in their tracks.

“You wanna play games?!” Vanjie threw the glass down, the entire thing shattering against the bar top. “Well let’s fucking play!”

“What the-” Justin wiped his face, the man looking completely shocked, his shirt soaked.

Brooke had seen Vanjie fight before, his boyfriend a ball of emotions, a firecracker that was always ready to go off, but it had never exploded because of him before, and Brooke had a sinking feeling this was all somehow his fault.

“Oh bitch, don’t you try! You’ve been flirting since the moment you saw him! You think we some package deal where you can fuck one of us and we cool? Well guess again! We’re exclusive, bitch! We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list cause guess what? I can go twice!”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m insane?!” Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s arm, throwing it down on the bar. “Then what the fuck is this?! A number? You don’t do shit like that to another man’s man!! And you!” Vanjie turned to Brooke. “I never should have trusted you.” Vanjie released Brooke, turning on her heels, rushing out of the room before Brooke even had the chance to collect his composure.

“Jose!” Brooke stood up, ready to run after Vanjie. “I- oh fuck!”

Justin looked down, a thick piece of glass peeking out the top of Brooke’s palm, from where he had planted it flat on the counter.

“Shit!” Brooke grabbed his hand, blood already pouring everywhere.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #angst #cruising for a bruising #q tip #thedane #tw blood #s11 #canon compliant

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mangaproone-a-aurita · 7 years

Text

Drag Race Thailand EP. 3 RuCap

• Synopsis •

Mini Challenge: ’My own fucking fairy tale’ puppet show Main Challenge: Curtain to Couture a.k.a Gone With the Window Lip Sync Song: Katreeya English’s “OK นะคะ”

• Spoilers below •

A clique has seemingly formed! B Ella, Dearis Doll and Petchara enteres the werkroom as a group together being all bright and cheerful. Amadiva rolls her eyes at them though.

Bunny B Fly went home in the previous episode. Queens react sympathetically, though they made a bit of fun of her drawing on the wall being more beautiful than her.

Queens discussed about ‘The Curse of Annee Maywong’. Person that sit by her right, by far, seemed to be sent to bottom two and went home.

Mini challenge was ‘My own fucking fairy tale’. Queens were tasked to decorate their puppets and narrate their fairy tale. It was overall pretty boring, though the material picking has some funny shade from Amadiva. Seriously, she is shaping up to be Shangela-Katya hybrid of this series!

Natalia throwing Jaja some shade, criticize her promiscuous way of being all over the pit crew. ‘She would makes LGBTQ in Thailand looks cheaper’, she said, all high and conserved like an old queen.

Dearis Doll being shady is funny as fuck. If there were a fellow queen roast challenge, she could win it.

Mini Challenge Winner: Dearis Doll, with her Evil Queen reveal puppet and apathetic magic mirror.

The main challenge was to create a nightgown from curtain fabric. Dearis Doll was the challenge winner, and got to choose the fabric first. She then chose the next queen, which chose the next and the next and etc. Amadiva was the last of the line, and she criticized Jaja for choosing Morrigan over her, though Jaja (in the confession cam though) reasoned that she chose Morrigan because Morrigan was pretty much in a disadvantage, being young and inexperienced, so she thought she should give Morrigan some lift.

There’s not much in the werkroom. Annee admitted that Natalia was her biggest competition. Amadiva revealed she hot-glued her couture and afraid it could fall apart at any minute. Morrigan expressed her difficulties working with one heavy fabric and one tulle.

Before the runway, there was an interesting incident. Remember ‘The Curse of Annee Maywong?’. B Ella, who would sit by her right, came to the room late and got her make up moved to the other side of the desk. The person who was sitting by Annee’s right was Dearis Doll.

Well, it’s just some silly make up thing, right? Curses are not real.

Let’s skip to the runway.

Jaja

Serving Manila Luzon got thrown in Thai dirtiest canal and left to die realness.

The real gag was that it has a cup holder! (Amadiva joked to her beforehand that her upside-down dress looked like it could hold a cup of coffee, and she proceed to do just that!)

My opinion is that her idea was good, but her execution was bad. It’s the clash of colors and, while fun, lack elegance of the theme.

Morrigan

Crying second place pageant realness. Look at how fishy she is!

She got read harshly due to her dress’ similarity with a design of a famous brand in Thailand. it being super super boring, her walk lacked strength and posture, her hair being messy and her make up being unfitted for her pageant theme. ‘No pageant would wear glitter on her face!’ the co-host Pangina said.

My opinion is that it is pretty basic. A safe pretty choice which ultimately feels boring compared to other girls’.

Annee Maywong

Fall collection next door crazy aunt couture realness. Her runway game is very strong.

The ruveal, because bitch I got these hand-sewn pleated flowers and you should appreciate them!

My opinion is that WERK BITCH WERK. The judges were 10 across the board. By the way if there ever will be a comedy challenge I wonder if she would fare well. They were 3 consecutive runway/look challenge at this point.

Dearis Doll

(Just realized I’ve been capturing pic in 480p, i’m sorry guys! From this point onward it’s gonna look better probably)

Serving your president secret lover cocktail party realness

She said she planned to be simple, but looked at the other girls and realized they were going full fancy gown, so she did a last-minute step up and put many pearls on her.

Still, she got read for her basic look, it still convey curtain-ness, and pretty much no judge would want to wear it. Those pearl did nothing to alleviate the situation, even worsened it because judges didn’t get why it was there and made the look even more confusing.

Natalia Pliacam

Cinderella rummage sale with her mice friend realness

While the judges praised her way of adapting those curtain hanging hoops into the look and knowing what works for her, she was criticized for using the same silhouette AGAIN, being another ball gown. She was also read for her diamond top clashing with the dress.

Let’s see whether she would be Honey Mahogany or Bianca del Rio.

Amadiva

Sulfuric origami geisha realness

She was praised for her creativity and the ability to make it not look like a curtain, but was read for playing safe and being not very exciting. Still, Amadiva admitted that her sewing skill was not good and managed to hot glue this couture out of yellow curtains, and I personally find this to be my favorite

You dressed to school VS You dressed to your friend’s

B Ella

Queen of Heart’s Rise Like a Pheonix at Eurovision realness

While her attitude was praised, her look was read for being ‘a piece of fabric wrapped around a corset’. Feathers and fabric pattern were also rather unfitting for what she was trying to narrate. It was a mess and not a hot one.

Petchara

AS3 Flower Power realness

It was beautiful but very clunky and confusing, and was another ‘a piece of fabric wrapped around a corset’ style. She was criticized that, while her dressmaking skill was great and her dress was gorgeous, her overall style was lacking and all over the place.

There was a rather nasty tirade from a guest judge, declaring that the girls were not stepping up their game and that she was disappointed.

So, who would be in the top and the bottom?

In the untuck room, they discussed about who would be in the top. They pretty much agreed that Annee and Natalia would be on top. B Ella prepared to lip sync confidently, pocketing a scissors to cut her corset. She was rather sure to be the bottom. Dearis said that, if she would to go lip sync, that pretty much confirmed ‘The Curse of Annee Maywong’

Main Challenge Winner: Annee Maywong she-can-do-no-wrong High: Jaja and Amadiva Low: B Ella Bottom 2: Morrigan and Dearis Doll

Jaja got possessed by Shannel and expressed her frustration of being only high but not winning. Amadiva, in contrast, was absolutely happy she was safe.

The Lip Sync

FINALLY, after a rather lackluster two lipsync, we got the gem we deserve!

‘Fuck these pearls got me in the bottom!’

Dearis channels her fierceness and will to survive is my aesthetic

Morrigan went for cute, but can she compete with Dearis’ energy?

*actual dialogue, paraphrased*

Dearis: “I want to elegantly lip syncing on my heels, with my flowing dress”

She tripped, but since when did that stop anyone?

Trend Alert: Lip syncing while unbuckle your shoes realness

FUCK THESE DRESS TOO!

B Ella said from the side ‘Bitch do the cartwheel!’, so

But Morrigan would not go out so easily. She had her plan.

Caption this

MORRIGAN’s SLIDE

The visual representation of my two faces

Morrigan foreshadowed her fate

THE FIRST DEATH DROP OF DRAG RACE THAILAND!

End pose: ‘All the creation, give me strength!’ realness

It was very intense, but Dearis pretty much killed it.

And our youngest contestant had to be sashay’d after her 2nd bottom 2

But wait! It’s actually Morrigan’s birthday (that day of filming)! So she got a surprise happy birthday, and it was very warm and emotional, even though being eliminated on your birthday would be the worst present ever

She promised she would improve and never stop growing!

And that’s conclude this episode. Tune in next week for the next episode of Drag Race Thailand. Tell me whether you’d like me to do the previous two episode as well! i’m gonna go back to rigging and contemplate my life, bye!

#drag race thailand #rucap #rupauls drag race #meannie minaj #bunny b fly #morrigan #petchara #dearis doll #b ella #jaja #amadiva #natalia pliacam #annee maywong

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