#you can see a bunch more of these (and the last one uncensored) over on jff!

[bitsybunbun]

Busy bb Bee 💛🐝

[kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon]

Chapter 3 of Sins of Knowledge is up!

Chaptered fic (3/12?), WIP, posting every other week

Here Come the Man with a Look in His Eye

Rated Explicit

CW/TW and tags: sex pollen/dubcon, ethical concerns, coercion, blackmail, human AU, university AU, more tags and notes at AO3

Biggest thanks to the usual suspects, @cheeseplants and @gaiaseyes451 for the stellar and thoughtful beta! You two are fantastic ❤️ also thanks to the @goodomensafterdark writers for being all around super supports and the best goblins anywhere ❤️‍🔥

Chapter Summary:

When last we left them, Crowley and Aziraphale had been discovered in flagrante-ish, or least in somno (...after flagrante) by Shax and Hastur. (At least they had their pants on? Mostly?) They meet the man behind the lab. Extortion ensues. Aziraphale attends Crowley’s class and does science badly, Crowley experiences some odd perceptions, and the next formula is ready to be tested. Also we may have gone from the rapid-fire burn of last chapter to a bunch of cool coals. Oh, dear.

See AO3 for full work summary and tags!

Excerpt:

Something was welling up in Crowley like a giant balloon. Was it hope? Relief? It was heady and huge. He remembered the word angel burning in his mouth, and the glow of Aziraphale’s forehead. Could it be that once in his life Crowley had actually judged someone accurately? And that someone had also judged him and found him to be something other than treacherous? “I did bring you over to Ashbury in the first place,” he reminded Aziraphale.

A tiny smile flickered over Aziraphale’s face. “Are you trying to convince me of your guilt?”

“No. I just – no.”

“Fine. Good. I’m still going to audit your course. You can still audit mine as well, if you like. Not sure what to do with this independent study nonsense, though.” 

“I could help. I’ve set up loads for Bea, they have me work with masters’ students on it.”

“No, I’ll speak to Ana.” Aziraphale looked as though he were steeling himself, and then in a rush, he said: “I just want to be clear. I don’t want to do that again.”

And just like that, wheeeeee the balloon punctured. “Okay,” said Crowley. “That, meaning…”

“What we’ve been captured doing on live and uncensored late night camera. I mean. I’m not sure what will happen next with this absolute madman playing God and apparently no consequences, but I don’t want – “ Aziraphale sighed. “That wasn’t me. I don’t do that.”

“What,” Crowley said unkindly, “sleep with blokes? A little late in life for panic, eh? Maybe I’m the one who should be asking about STIs, you know studies have shown closeted gays are just as promiscuous if not more so — ”

“Oh fuck off, you know what I mean,” Aziraphale snapped. “I’m not in the closet. I meant I don’t sleep with people like that, like you.” 

Oooh, this just got better and better. Crowley couldn’t help smiling a bit even as his chest constricted. “Like me. What, sexy?”

Aziraphale put a hand to his temple. “Bloody hell. Yes, I despise giving head to sexy men.”

His lips still looked soft, as soft and warm and wet as they’d felt when he’d kissed Crowley’s belly, bent down and closed them over the head of Crowley’s cock. Crowley gulped. What had he been about to say? Something smart. Quick, say something smart. “Big apologies. I am what I am.”

“I forgive you,” Aziraphale said, with so much sarcasm that it practically deluged the quad. 

“Ahhhh. You’re one of those pining-for-ages types, then. In love from afar and all that.” Crowley couldn’t stop, his mouth had taken something smart and launched into the void. “Distance makes the cock grow harder. Wanking every night, wishing and hoping.”

Aziraphale flushed deeper at each word. Crowley stuck his knuckles between his teeth to shut himself up. He wanted to curl into Aziraphale, press his mouth against the heady warmth of that blood rising beneath the skin. He settled for scooting around on the bench, stretching his legs.

[orionlancasterr]

Oc interview

I was tagged by @adelaidedrubman !

Judas King and Mary Hart agreed to sit down with Lauren Westfield for a couple preemptive interviews with her podcast and YouTube series, Case Files.

name 

“Judas- oh you probably want the full thing, um, Judas King.”

nickname

“The Chosen One, Wrath, Sinner- I think Jacob called me the executioner once…”

Upon seeing Laurens growing discomfort Judas trails off, his face growing red

“Sorry that’s not what you meant. No I don’t really have any, Judas doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Skunk tried Jude once but it didn’t feel right.”

gender

“Male, mostly.”

star sign

“Aquarius I think? Mary talks about it a lot.

personality type

“I dont want to be a dick but I don’t really know what this has to do with Edens gate..”

Laura frowns a little, scratching at the back of her head. “We just want to get to know you a little better before we y’know get into the juicy stuff.”

“Oh right, you’re just gonna have to bear with me on some of these, my um, my whole world has been about this stuff uncensored for like five years.”

“Right, of course!” Lauren gives a sort of forced laugh.

height

“5’5 I think, they measured at the last doctors appointment.”

orientation:

“I’ve mostly been using gay but I’ve been reading a lot online and I think I like queer more- I don’t like specific labels.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“American, obviously but I think French? I have a second cousin twice removed something or other that lives over there but I’m not really sure.”

fave fruit 

“I love oranges- more than anyone should and I had one for the first time in years the other day and I gotta say even the best batch of bliss couldn’t beat that shit.”

Lauren, while still uncomfortable makes no move to change the subject this time.

fave season

“Early fall-late summer. The rain brings a chill and I think the mountains are best when it’s wet out.”

fave flower 

“I think bindweed flowers are really cute, unfortunely bindweed sucks.”

fave scent 

“There is this polish I use the interior of cars, mothers, it’s like a plastic restorer anyways that shit smells so good.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“I didn’t like coffee or tea for a while but I’ve recently gotten into iced coffee, I like caramel iced lattes apparently.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Good nights, 5-6 but I can easily go a night or two without sleeping. Night terrors. But the guys say I still flail around and shit on the good ones.”

Judas chuckled at this one.

dog or cat person

“Bears. I volunteered at a wildlife rehab center before the reapings and we had this bear, cheeseburger, a big old boy who was found by one of the senior members found him shoving trash in his face behind Chad’s old place. Burgers, fries, onion rings you name it Cheeseburger ate it. So he took him in anyways after everything went down Wade radioed in saying he had to release him because the Jacob wanted to experiment so I tracked him down. Found out he was diabetic and needed insulin so we became buddies. He’s in Yellowstone Wildlife Sanctuary now and I visit him every few days.”

It’s at this point Judas pulls out a phone and starts showing the staff pictures of a severely obese grizzly bear wearing a collar, at which they coo and awe. In newer photos he has lost a considerable amount weight.

dream trip 

“Climb every mountain range in North America. I met a guy when I was a kid on a hike that did that, his name was trinket and he was like 70 years old climbing the continental divide in colorado. Said he sold everything a few years ago to fund his mission. I’d like to start in the south, Saturn says the Appalachians are pretty.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but wouldn’t you be sick of mountains at this point I mean…after everything that happened in the whitetails?”

Judas laughs. “It’s not the mountains fault some lunatic decided to murder and maim a bunch of people.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Optimus Prime, they made like three more transformers movies and I made everyone promise to watch them with me when we get home.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“I have a weighted blanket and, okay don’t make fun of me, my baby blanket under that. It’s basically like a two foot square of worn out fabric at this point but we found it in the house after. Um. After.”

It’s at this point Judas begins to look upset for the first time during the interview. Lauren quickly asks the next question.

random fact:

“I thought it would be fun to teach boomer how to launch himself off my back but now he does it at random. It hurts, I’m sorry it’s been nice do you mind if I um. If I go sit outside for a little bit?”

“Of course not, take your time.”

————

name 

“Marilyn Ellen Hart, please don’t call me Marilyn.”

nickname

“Mary, it’s the preferred name.”

She smiles charmingly, directly at the camera.

gender

“Female.”

star sign

“Aries sun, Capricorn moon and Sagittarius rising. This should be a shock to no one.”

This draws a laugh out Lauren.

personality type

“ENFP, crowds really get me going, I love talking to people. It’s why I love playing shows. Yeah sure the music is the thing that keeps me going after everything but the people make me feel alive.”

height

“Five feet two inches exactly. I got my drivers licence a few days ago. It’s crazy how many rules there are to driving in the real world. Skunk and Nick had two rules. Don’t hit anyone and stay on the pavement.”

Another laugh bubbles out of the staff and is met with a brilliant smile from Mary.

orientation:

“Lesbian but Judas and Daisy keep reading articles too me and maybe I’m also asexual. I haven’t decided yet.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“Raised in America but I was adopted from Ukraine.”

fave fruit 

“Strawberries. Like good fresh sweet ones. The ones from the store aren’t nearly as good.”

fave season

“Summer. Hot, sunny days, as dry and bright as possible.”

fave flower 

“Daisy”

She winks at the camera

fave scent 

“BBQ, I love a good vinegar based sauce.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“Saturn got me hooked on sweet iced tea.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Recently I’ve been getting full nights sleep without smoking now that’s wild to me.”

dog or cat person

“Does peaches count as a cat?”

She looks past the camera and grins at someone. Laura asks who peaches is.

“Peaches, my dear, is this badass cougar we found eating so- I’m not allowed to say that am I? We found her in the Henbane.  Her owner just. Handed her to us, a trio of eighteen year old kids. She’s the sweetest thing…most of the time. She’s at Yellowstone with Cheeseburger. Apparently they tried to separate them but I imagine it didn’t go well because they were together again within like two days.”

Dream trip

“The ocean, we’re driving down California in a few weeks and I made them promise to take me to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Misa Amane, from death note. I was obsessed with her in middle school.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“Whatever is in the back of the van. Usually a throw and Judas’s weighted blanket.”

random fact:

“I had to learn how to whittle my own sticks because the ones we’d scavenge kept snapping on me. I still use my own at shows.”

I’ll tag @vault81 @bleumanouche @chaosintheavenue and anyone who wants to!

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #59: “President Evil” | September 28, 2008 - 11:30PM | S03E19

Man, I simply don’t care for this TV program. I’m also a little tired of the needlessly exhaustive way I cover it. Sure, I have the good taste to skip an inconsequential channel flip segment here and there, but me going sketch by sketch?? Just so I can briefly describe it and then be sassily dismissive of it? Who needs it! 

This one has Dig Dug, but real. This one has a sketch where a dad is mean to a doll. An Oceans movie but it’s more guys (some of them weird). And, I guess I’ll type slightly more about this one: A Tiger Woods sketch which I didn’t find funny until the end, when the reveal is that it’s a Nike-style ad and the slogan is “Tiger Woods: Mostly Chinese”.

The show does what it often does by having the final sketch contain a bunch of themed-sub-sketches. This time it’s nasty young people in a movie theater, shown very briefly between parodic movie trailers, but for some reason the Dig Dug sketch and the Oceans sketch isn’t part of it. Hell, they show ads in movie theaters, so the whole episode could’ve been this, and then they could have called it “Robot Chicken goes to the Cinema! Ah! What luck!”. 

The sketches in this are: A Michael Bay movie but it’s only explosions, a Gerald Ford movie that’s just him falling down the stairs in slow motion, A genre parody called “Young People on a Rythm Team”, one where Yogi Bear kills people and then Boo-Boo gets revenge called Ram-Boo-Boo, and they all fucking suck. The Yogi one is especially bad; it’s just Yogi killing people and then Boo-Boo as Rambo is basically tacked on to the end of it. 

The last trailer is 2001: A Space Odyssey but with boobs added to it, and this is accomplished by having a Playboy model named Robin Bain appear over the movie via greenscreen, with her shit out. This is pretty bird-brained, and even though I like almost any nude woman, I think Robot Chicken should stay in it’s lane when it comes to stuff like this. That being said: I checked the DVD to see if it was uncensored. It is. Huh! I suppose this is technically a first for Adult Swim, then, even though one had to wait until DVD before seeing them.

Anyway, I looked that woman up to see if she’s done any you-know-what with a you-know-what, causing it to you-know-what all over her you-know-why scenes, like the kind I like, but this cursory googling revealed that she is mostly a writer/director now, just like I'm not. Good for her.

EPHEMERA CORNER

MAIL BAG

I have a list somewhere of the weirder things turner S&P bleeped out on [AS]. My favorite one is "Bush Meat" from Black Dynamite. Stupidest one has to be a Loiter Squad episode where a character mouths a swear word in a silent film and they bleep it out even though there's no audio. Kinda related, I think pretty recently they cracked down on on-screen gun suicide, or at least when you actually see them pull the trigger. They cut it out of a Lupin VI episode. I could talk all day about S&P.

Those are both insane! I remember a showing of Back to the Future II (not on Adult Swim, obviously) that bleeped "butt-head" in a scene where Future Biff and 50s Biff say it to each other over and over, but later left in "ass". That stuff is so puzzling.

Kon writes:

Robot Chicken got cancelled because zoomers these days don't even know what action figures are, maybe they should bring it back with freaking IPADS, okay???

If they brought back Robot Chicken but it stared iPads and I could pick the shows that were playing on them??? I would be IN HEAVEN. If I could make Skibidi Toilet be on every screen, even better

it so funny to call robot chicken RC it make it sound like you are talking about the soda lol

If you like that you're going to love my soda-themed parody of the National Anthem, it goes like this:

♪ Oh Say Canned R.C.

That's all I got.

you omitted the best part of that final sketch which is the co-worker non-chalantly saying "hi larry" as he's about to gun mr. henderson and carol down.

Sorry, my friend Brayden, who probably wrote the last bag mail, is going to call me out for reusing my old "Oh Say Canned R.C." joke which I did on a message board with 5 people on it probably like ten years ago. He is probably testing to see if I will steal from myself. I just wanted to say right here and right now that it is my right and my prerogative to do whatever I want with all words. ALL. WORDS. Anyway, yes, that is funny, and it's a reference to McLean Stevenson's celebrated follow-up to M*A*S*H, Hello Larry.

the guy who plays Larry is a real star, sad he shot himself to death, removing himself from the canon.

I hope I mentioned this elsewhere, but Tim & Eric sung that guy's praises to high heaven on various commentaries (the Valentines Day Watchalong most recently). I don't know, I just like the idea of them finding a capably funny actor in the midst of all the eccentrics they cast. It is my favorite thing to think about.

[historyvewor]

Eroge game android

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If you enjoy Monster Girl Quest then check out the related titles of:Ĭompatible with Windows PCs, the game can be downloaded from sites like Game Fabrique or Eroge Download Rance Series

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In fact, it is both the gameplay itself and the NSFW scenes that makes this such a great title, there’s some strategy to the combat plus you get rewarded with decent fap content. The adult content is pretty graphic with some scenes of vore as well as plenty of hentai girl on boy action and some monster sex too. Spawning another successful sequel in Paradox and a number of other spin-offs, the game is all about the adventures of a boy called Luka who (surprise, surprise) has to defeat a series of female monsters in order to win the day.Īction is centered on turn-based combat and if you win you advance but if you lose you can often be rewarded with some XXX hentai animation/illustration it’s a win-win situation. We kick off with a classic that was released in 2011 and has its own pages on Fandom to help new players Monster Girl Quest is a hugely popular RPG/visual novel title. Play the Sakura Series on Nutaku Monster Girl Quest One of the best hentai games on the market today.

#Eroge game android for free#

Played in-browser, create your oversexed harem on Nutaku (see below) for free and see exactly why this game is so addictive. Teach them the basics of satisfaction and advance them to the next level and you will be rewarded with some pretty kinky adult anime scenes. The girls are wholly driven by sex and are a lusty bunch who don’t ever seem to be fully satisfied. The idea behind the gameplay is pretty straightforward and is an RPG action adventure game where you have to level up by completing sexual contests. It has a pretty big following online with its own community pages on Fandom. Harem HeroesĪn action-adventure game from Nutaku, Harem Heroes is one of the more popular free games to play on this hentai platform. Have we missed your favorite eroge game? Why not drop us a line in the comments section below to share your choice of best Japanese erotic game. You can also see which Eroge games are gaining popularity in the trending section of our adult sex games guide. There are thousands of eroge games on the market and if none of these take your fancy, why not hit one of the websites detailed below where you can find huge collections of some of the best adult games available online. We’ve selected a real mix of some of the best hentai games including some classic games as well as a couple of later releases. From puzzles to RPG, battle cards to sex sim, eroge games are an incredibly popular type of adult game with a huge following in the West as well as across Asia. This includes fantasy, adventure and sci-fi across a diverse range of styles of gaming. Over the last forty years, eroge has been developing alongside traditional gaming and has benefited from the global advances that the industry has seen and the genre now has a sophisticated sub-set of its own. If you want uncensored eroge then you have to buy it on the export only market. As a result, eroge in Japan is subject to the same pixilation across the rude bits that live action video is. The first eroge games were largely based on what we now know as a visual novel style games in which the player follows a narrative, often with multiple choices for which they are rewarded with animated clips or pics.īoth the storyline and graphics in most eroge titles are adult in content and, in some cases, regarded as pornography. The first title is thought to have been Lolita Yakyūken released in 1982, but there are some earlier examples of erotic content in video games before this date. The genre first cropped up at the beginning of the 1980s when Japanese game developers started slipping some more adult themes into their programs. Oh, and of course, it has to have originated in Japan if it’s authentic eroge. Eroge is simply the Japanese term for erotic (or NSFW) games and, due to its Japanese origins, is sometimes called hentai.Ĭovering a wide range of genres from visual novel and dating sims to turn-based strategy card games and even first-person shooters as long as the game includes some XXX storyline then its eroge.

[sirfrogsworth]

First, we had FREEDOM fries and FREEDOM toast... because French people can suck it. They know what they did.

But now BIG TECH is censoring EVERYTHING. You can't say a damn thing if you are a conservative in the US. At this point, why even bother posting on social media?

I mean, look at top-performing link posts by U.S. Facebook pages in the last 24 hours...

1. Fox News 2. Ben Shapiro 3. VOA Burmese News 4. Dan Bongino 5. Peachy Sunday 6. Fox News 7. Diabetes Awareness by GreaterGood 8. Ben Shapiro 9. VOA Burmese News 10. Dan Bongino

FACEBOOK IS SILENCING RIGHT WING VOICES! AHHHHHH!

So we need another dose of freedom.

We need...

THE FREEDOM PHONE!

The Freedom Phone is a new business venture started by Eric Finmen—the world's "Youngest Bitcoin Millionaire."

Wasn't he adorkable?

You see, his folks gave him $1000 to invest when he was 12. He bought a bunch of Bitcoin. Naturally. And when he turned 18, it was worth over a million bucks. By 21 he had 2.3 million dollars and was the pride of capitalism.

So obviously that makes him a $BUSINESS GENIUS$

And not *INCREDIBLY LUCKY*

And because he is a business genius, he has decided to start a new chapter of his life as an entrepreneur. Because we definitely don't have enough of those.

His first entrepreneurial BIG BOY IDEA is selling the FREEDOM PHONE.

Let's check out the specs on this bad boy from the actual website.

Large storage, you say? 6 inches of screen??? GREAT CAMERA!!!

Well, with specificity like that, I'm sold.

People get way too caught up in the gigahertz and megapixels anyway. You don't need to know that stuff. He says it is "affordable, yet fast" and I choose to believe him.

I'm sure it is on par with every other $500 phone on the market—all while being made in the good old U.S. of A.

Because you wouldn't call it a *FREEDOM PHONE* if it weren't American-made.

That would be dumb.

"In fact, Freedom Phone appears to be a simple rebranding of a budget phone called the 'Umidigi A9 Pro,' made by the Chinese tech company Umdigi. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Finman confirmed that the Freedom Phone was manufactured by Umdigi, but couldn't say immediately which Umdigi phone it was based on.

The Freedom Phone's $500 price tag would represent a substantial markup on the A9 Pro. The phone is available on Chinese retail giant AliExpress for $120—less than one-quarter of the price of a Freedom Phone."

— The Daily Beast

Oh.

Ummmmmmmmmm...

Is there anyone out there who can put a positive spin on this? Because I'm failing to think of anything at the moment.

EXACTLY! The OS is chockfull of FREEDOM and that's what really matters.

Real AMERICAN developers toiled over the FreedomOS to make sure it was as free as humanly possible. I'm sure this OS is built from the ground up and that extra $400 expense is due to the extensive R&D needed to create this marvel of digital liberty.

SEE! IT'S BASED ON FREE SPEECH!

Annnnd... it is BASED on something called GrapheneOS, apparently.

Okay, so full disclosure.

The FreedomOS developers may have used an already developed Android fork and skinned it to look more... Freedom-y. You saw the cool flag wallpaper, right?

Truthfully, licensing that wallpaper was the bulk of the development cost. They may not have done much beyond aesthetic tweaks.

That is... except for the UNCENSORABLE APP STORE!!

*patriotic fanfare*

*eagle caws in the distance*

*someone is shot in a hunting accident*

This is where that extra $400 of value comes in. No apps will be censored. EVER. You can get your Gab and your Parler and your Gettr. And you never have to worry about those apps being unavailable because Zuckerdumb said NO.

Okay, full disclosure again.

99% of the apps banned in the iPhone and Google Play stores are due to things like malware, viruses, and illegal activity. So for every Parler that goes uncensored—so does the app that looks just like Parler but is titled "Parler Totally the Real One" and is full of viruses ready to steal your banking information. And an app store without restrictions could also end up being a haven for child pornography and illegal drug sales.

But hey... PARLER, AMIRITE?

Soooo... what happens if you don't like this incredible $500 phone worth $120?

Good news! There is a *stellar* return policy.

You get the box. You stare at the box. You DO NOT open the box.

And if that experience is unsatisfying, you can return that box within 30 days.

If you get the box. Cut a hole in that box. Stick your freedom in that box.

Well... hopefully you like it.

In conclusion, it's hard to put a price on freedom.

Sure, this is probably a giant grift.

And this conservative Bitcoin douche doesn't seem to mind grifting his own political brethren.

Because capitalism is his mistress and loyalty is fleeting in the whitest rightest of wings.

But if you want FREEDOM in your smartphone, you should definitely pay this clearly trustworthy bleach blonde, scruffy chinned lottery winner $500 for a cheap Chinese Android phone that will fill up with viruses faster than you can boot up the phone (because it is made with inferior hardware and booting probably takes a while).

[nature-and-music]

Without You, I’d Be Lost

I would like to dedicate this story to my friend @lady-jane3

Author’s note - This is a story written by @nature-and-music involving current day Nikki and a young adult female reader.  Reader has been feeling very blue lately, yet she doesn’t have the heart to tell Nikki.  One morning Nikki heads over to check up on her and finds her wrapped up in a blanket.  He does what he can to help his angel.

Please keep in mind that this is a fictitious scenario and this story is written purely as fluff.

Please let me know what you think and what can be improved.  Thank you and I hope you enjoy this story.

It was one of those mornings where everything seemed so gray.  Even as the rays of sunlight beamed through the shutters and colored the room with golden light, it all appeared so dreary.  My head felt heavy, as my eyes stared at nothing but the paint on the bedroom wall. The color was the same as it was when we first moved in about a year ago.  Nikki recommended that we would paint it my favorite color, but the time didn’t feel right. The days turned to weeks and then pretty soon months.  Nikki would write and practice, while I worked; he told me that I wouldn’t have to anymore.  Anyone would have jumped at that opportunity, but I didn’t; I wanted to keep working despite his protests.  However the press was starting to hound me as they did with him and the other members.  My boss had to let me go and as much as I was going to miss working there, it was better for the safety of everyone there, including myself.

The band were still just as loved as they were back then. Even more so thanks to their books, social media presence, and their biopic that re-introduced themselves to more people than ever.  In the past, Mötley Crüe were everywhere from television interviews, newspapers, and their music videos being played on a loop through MTV.  In fact, the network would only play the uncensored videos very late at night.  Of course nowadays anyone can see them online, they pale in comparison to what was being shown nowadays, but that’s a given.  The raunchier videos may seem tame by today’s standards, yet they gave me a few ideas as to how we would engage in the bedroom.  To describe what the two of us would do together would certainly cause anyone in the moral majority to simultaneously have a stroke and a heart attack.  

Regardless of what a bunch of repressed zealots thought of us, we enjoyed each other’s company very much.  In the beginning, I remember watching them perform from the wings, cheering them on as they rocked every audience that traveled near and far to see them.  It was incredible witnessing how their fans practically worshiped them through their manner of dress, makeup, and singing along to their songs.  It all felt like an incredible dream that would never end. 

Yet something felt off about today.  Well more than one day actually. I felt tired. More than tired.  Almost as if any previous motivation to do anything was suddenly gone.  I had spent days in our bedroom, coming out once in a while to gather food, drinks, and use the bathroom.  The place was so quiet, the only sound I would get would be from the tv playing old reruns of scripted reality shows.  Even on the days when Nikki was home, the man would lock himself up and work. I didn’t want to say anything, the last thing I wanted to do was to seem ungrateful; but my god did I miss him dearly.  He would come by once in a while to ask if I needed anything, but I told him that I was fine. 

“Hey… hey babe.  Are you up?” Nikki asked on the morning that he found me staring at the wall.  He sat beside me, moving aside the blanket that covered a part of my face. “Hey come on, get up.”

I looked at him for a moment, only to turn back at the wall. He got down to my eye level, pushing back a lock of my hair as he studied my face.  His thumb brushed across my cheek, stopping to feel the dried trails along my skin.  He looked into my eyes, puffy and exhausted.  

He sounded slightly annoyed, yet concerned, “Babe, what’s the matter? Come on, you haven’t come out in days.”  He lightly shook my shoulder, “Babe?”

I turned over and faced his side of the bed, bunching up the blanket even more like a caterpillar refusing to leave its cocoon.  A much younger Sixx would have scoffed and made his way towards the door, slamming it loudly.  My darling Nikki proceeded to the other side of the bed to lay by my side.  His aged, tattooed fingers caressing my cheeks. His strong arms kept me close to his form, pressing kisses to my forehead as his facial hair lightly scratched my skin.  

Voice gently whispering, “I love you.  I care about you, and I’ll be there for you no matter what.”  A kiss on the nose, then one on my cheek. “I’m here for you.”  One on my chin, and then a loving smile.

My eyes averted his gaze, but once I felt his warm pecks my sights were on him.  I could feel a little pull at my lips, but my attempts to hide my face had failed.  Nikki continued to shower me with love, wrapping his legs around me and managing to get my covered body upon his chest.  I tried to hold back my smirk, but my vision was clouded with more of his kisses and the tickling of his beard. 

I could feel my face growing hot, “N-Nikki… oh god…”

“Who’s my little burrito?” He teased with a chuckle.  “Come on.”

I began to giggle, “Shut up Sixx.”  My smile grew across my face, “I am not a burrito.”

“Yes you are, you’re my breakfast burrito.  And I just wanna take a bite out of you.”  

Before I could give a response, Nikki nuzzled his face into mine. His hands worked hard to free me of my cushiony cylinder.  My laughter heightened as I felt his hands begin to squeeze me, his mouth nibbling at every new inch of skin.  Fingers brushing along my sides, causing me to giggle uncontrollably.  He knew exactly where my tickle spots were and he absolutely loved it when I cackled.  Thankfully the joyous torture ended as soon as it began.  There I was sitting upon his stomach, wearing my loose tank top and an old pair of shorts.  

His green eyes examined me thoroughly, his smile still present, “How do you feel now?”

I sighed quietly, “A little better Nikki.”  My hand cradled his cheek, his skin felt warm.  Each little wrinkle that was painted on his face had a story to tell, some good and some bad.  My thumb traced the shape of his lips. 

He kissed the pad of my thumb, “Do you feel like talking?”

I shook my head, “Later, I want to enjoy this a little more. It’s nothing… really.”

His brows rose as his head tilted a bit, he knew that I was lying. “Well, if you say ‘it’s nothing’, then it’s nothing.”  His hands held onto my thighs, “But I’m still here for you.”  

My vision blurred with my tears, “Thank you Nikki.”  

His hand came up to brush away the waterworks, followed by another series of kisses.  He brought me down, cradling me in his arms once more.  His ever beating heart drummed softly against my ear, as his fingers stroked through my locks.  His quiet breathing was steady like his heartbeat. I felt safe with him, and I was happy knowing that we were together.

“Daddy?”

Nikki chuckled, he loves that particular nickname, “Yes?”

“I love you.”

One more kiss to the forehead, “I love you too, angel.”

[the-fiction-witch]

SAA P1

TV SHOW PISTOL  COUPLE MALCOLM X READER  RATING SMUTTY

I sighed, I didn't want to be here but my therapist insisted on it she said I had to start going or else. the night was cold so much once I turned off my car's engine I could see my breath the darkness already looming over the beige building the lights on sometimes you'd catch a cleaner behind the windows, the other cars parking up and heading inside I sighed grabbing a cigarette lighting it up and taking a long take of it. I finished it up and got my handbag throwing it over my shoulder as I got out of the car walking in hearing my heels on the stone steps into the building. I went and got a coffee trying to avoid the actual goings-on and the reason all these people

"Everyone can we come to sit down please so we can get started?" the man with his dull brown jumper said sitting on his chair I rolled my eyes and went over sitting on a chair with a bunch of other people most unable to look up from the floor "Now who would like to share?" he asked but not a soul spoke no-one even looked up "I see we have a couple of new faces mixed in with our regulars," he said "Anyone going to break the ice?" still not a soul spoke up I shifted a little on my plastic seat trying not to draw attention to myself. "How about we break it with one of our regulars malcolm? Want to start us off?"

"Alright" he spoke up I looked over and saw this man sat on a chair ciggertte in hand he had leather pants, a t-shirt so faded it was impossible to read, a blue or black jacket laid across the chair back "evening," he nodded as he saw me looking at him

"Can you uhh tell us about how your dealing with everything?"

"Like shit. Frankly having to drag my ass all the way out here once a week is a pain in the ass" he says "but shits been fine"

"How long has it been since your last incident?"

"Wouldn't you like to know" he smirked having another take of his ciggertte

"Malcolm I've told you enough times you can't smoke in here"

"Fine. No smoking." He rolled his eyes putting his ciggertte out I chuckled a little at him

"Lisa how about you share?" The lead man spoke up

"His uhh Lisa. It's been six weeks since my last. And I feel uhhhh okay I guess" the young girl said on her long jumper dress

"I'll uncensor that for you, Lisa is sitting there in her long jumper dress like she's her own wollen blanket, trying to hide that the last two meetings she's had a pair of jiggle balls hanging out her pussy because it's been six weeks since she last got fucked due to your stupid program and she's frustrated as fuck not being help by captain turtle neck across the circle who's been eye fucking her the last two months." Malcolm explained making me giggle like crazy but I was the only one who laughed so I shut up "see great tits, six inch heels gets it" he laughs winking at me

"Malcolm you speak out again. I'll have to ask you to leave this session"

"Fine by me"

"And I'll have to make a call." He warned begrudgingly malcolm was quiet for a few more people to speak all with the same sorts of lame things "miss it's your turn to speak" the leader spoke up to me

"Ohh me?"

"Yes of course in your own time"

"I uhhh I'm y/n, I'm sorry I don't really think I uhh I don't think I need to be here"

"Now now miss y/n the first step is admitting you have a problem"

"I don't think I have a problem. I think I'm fine"

"They why are you here?"

"My therapist insisted on it"

"Tell us about your last incident"

"I'm sorry incident?"

"When did you last cave into these sinful dark feelings" 

"well the last time I did was last week"

"Tell us about it"

"Okay. well, it was late I'd got back from work so I ran myself a hot bubble bath, had some nice muscle soak and a bath bomb" I smirked noticing how tense everyone else was "and while I was scrubbing the nice soap across my warm body I couldn't help but look at the battery-powered shoulder massager I have beside my tub," I explained watching everyone shift and move in their seats not wanting to listen to me but not being able to stop themselves "But I didn't. I got out and instead, I got dressed into... my boots, fishnets, miniskirt, bright red lace bra, black sheer shirt, did my hair, heading out and going to a local spot I know had a drink or two ended up a few hours later" I smirked noticing now much that Malcolm was watching me as he saw me looking me smirked and licked across his bottom lip "In the bathroom leant over some office boy riding him raw while also working the glory hole for my friend Ella sucking on this thick boy-"

"That's enough miss y/n"

"Ohh but you see after I got done with those two I had to help out this girl who just got dumped so I ate er out for about half-hour or so, then I went outside to get a cigarette but everyone was holding out on me, and one guy said he'd buy me a pack so long as I blew him so you know one vodka shot later I had my cigarettes." I shrug 

"You are a right little slut aren't you?" Malcolm smirked at me 

"We don't use language like that!" he yelled "okay. both of you. out." he ordered 

"With pleasure" Malcolm smirked grabbing his jacket I smiled and got my stuff to head out to the car park to get a cigarette but my lighter wouldn't light "Let me" he smiled coming up behind me lighting his own and then offering me the lighter so I happily lit my cigarette on the flame 

"Malcolm what exactly?" I asked

"That defeats the point of anon meetings doesn't it?" He laughs 

"Sorry"

"Mclaren. Malcolm Mclaren" he smiled offering his hand 

"Y/n y/l/n" I smiled letting him take my hand and he happily gave it a little kiss "My therapist is gonna be so pissed I got kicked out the first session" 

"Fuck her"

"what?"

"Fuck her. what is she really gonna do?" 

"Sit in her little chair patronising me like a fucking toddler" I sighed "sorry. what are you here for?"

"Ex-wife insisted on it. she says I have to go... part of the custody deal with the kids" 

"sorry I-"

"No it's fine. talking like adults about it is way better then that bullshit" He says "its fine I don't worry about it that much, greedy little witch can keep them all I fucking care" 

“Good way to put it I guess” I smiled 

“Well as we are kicked out. I’m gonna head home I’ll see you next week” He winked heading off to his car 

“Yeah see ya”I waved  

[nightklok]

Title: 'Cause I've been hurt so many times, I need someone who will try to soothe me, and not use me Pairing: Abigail Remeltindtdrinc/Pickles the Drummer Rating: E (For one future smut scene but chapter one is T-rated) Tags: Fake dating, Additional tags on AO3 Summary: Abigail considers herself great at her job; she knows how to make a successful album and her track record shows it. Dethklok proved to be the biggest challenge yet but she learned to overcome any hurdle thrown her way. However, what she didn’t anticipate was Seth’s second wedding. Specifically, Pickles’ mother getting on his case about finding a date to the wedding. Logically, she decides to be his fake date for the wedding. Just fake a relationship for a few months until the wedding then 'mutually' break it off; should be easy enough. It’s just the most renowned music producer and most popular musician fake dating. Surely no feelings or trouble will rise out of this.

Chapter One on Ao3 Here! Chapter one is also under the cut

Abigail had learned quickly that working with Dethklok was oftentimes like walking through those Halloween hay mazes blindfolded. Years upon years of working with pretentious celebrities, tight deadlines, and challenges that were thrown her way would never prepare her for working with them. For a group of five who lived together and knew each other the best, it didn’t always mean that they thought the same way and one would think they finally learned what worked best for them after years of working. But for some reason, they continuously went with the same method that never worked out because it seemed like the best to them. And clearly, it wasn’t.

She was no stranger to challenges so when Dethklok proved to be one, she did her usual process of breaking through to them. And that was asking questions to the right people. Charles stated it was just how they were. Knubbler said they were a bunch of dumb jackoffs so she had to hold the least amount of expectations for them...and lower it. Melmord had offered her weed because it would be the only way she could ever handle working with them. Twinkletits had suggested unresolved trauma and perhaps banana stickers would solve it.

She would find soon enough that everyone was right in their own suggestions but it didn’t mean she followed through with any of them. It didn’t take long to figure out that scheduling private sessions with each individual band member was a lot better compared to them being together only to yell at each other. Within a few days of the focus being more on private sessions, the difference being made was incredible. They seemed to thrive better under one-on-one time and having the group meetings at the end of the day so they could go over their progress had helped incredibly.

The only problem that she couldn’t solve was their old habits. Most of the time the sessions were either forgotten or recordings had to take a week or longer just to make sure the sound was perfect. They were still five people with different ideas of how the album could be better; it would be hard to find common ground and even harder to get them to be responsible under her schedule.

It didn’t mean every member was a thorn in her side though. Pickles and Skwisgaar were some of the more responsible ones compared to the rest. They’d sometimes forget to show up but that was expected.

Skwisgaar did have a certain way of speaking about music she couldn’t quite understand but she found herself slowly understanding him the more they recorded his sessions. It became like learning a new language but less on the fun part. Luckily, he was never one to speak much regardless; music did the talking for him and that was a good enough language for them to understand.

And Pickles, despite his years of experience under the spotlight, wasn’t the pretentious celebrity she expected him to be when they recorded together. He did his work without much complaint, left when she was satisfied and his first-week recording for a song would be the last as there generally wasn’t much left for him to retake. He normally trusted her judgment and any criticisms offered were never given for the sake of belittling her. It came from a place of experience and knowledge and it became something she quickly respected him for. He still occasionally missed his recordings, however, but with how time felt so rapid in getting things in order, she didn’t notice he actually began showing up more often.

He couldn’t show up one day due to a last-minute scheduling conflict that day and since he had a valid excuse, she didn’t expect him to show up at all. Deciding to not let those hours go to waste, she spent it contacting Knubbler for a quick meeting. He sent her the tracks he finished for her to listen to and she offered her critique. They were tossing track after track at one another to see what sticks and eventually something did. After sending him the latest track to fix-up by the end of their meeting, she checked her email to go more into the boring parts of her job.

She loved her job without a doubt but it didn’t mean there were some parts she actually dreaded doing. Emails were one of them; business language, having to wait up to a day for a response, and everything else just to show she was a professional despite her name being tied to so many influential things. Maybe she was famous enough to sign off her emails with a ‘k thx’ but didn't quite know if it was even worth the impending backlash soon after. She was known for her professionalism, not lack of.

But the album wouldn’t be finished for quite a while so she simply had to make do with what she could. Regardless, the marketing director wanted to listen to one of the demo songs. The day was winding down, she just had to spend an extra hour or two in the recording studio, then she could grab food, take a long bath and watch a movie until she fell asleep.

The motivation of food and a chance to relax was enough to look through her emails once more as she played the finished track. She didn’t hear the knock on the door but she did hear the door opening but didn’t turn around. She had expected it to be a klokateer doing some late cleaning.

“Abigail?” A voice all too familiar filled the silence. As she turned around, Pickles closed the door behind him quietly as if to not disturb her (even though he already did). He seemed a bit sheepish as he put his hands in his pockets to play off a calm attitude, “I just wanted to know if you still needed me.”

“Well, it’s not the first time you didn’t show up to a session, Pickles.” She answered a little too bluntly. It came off harsher and she had almost expected him to be offended by it but he shrugged instead, “Charles told me you wouldn’t have been able to come today, anyway.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s true I have bailed out on a few sessions, but I was planning on showing up to today’s session. I promise.”

She folded her arms, leaning back against the chair. It was new territory having Pickles actually show up when he wasn’t meant to. It didn’t seem like he was there for anything else too, “And you really mean that?”

He casually held up his right hand in a three-finger salute, “Scout’s honor...if I was a Boy Scout, that is.  But I’m here now. That should be enough proof, right?” He grinned at her before he walked to the recording booth, “I got this beat stuck in my head I wanna get out of my system. Won’t take too much of your time.”

She glanced at the clock; it was still early enough to record a few takes and he did seem excited to record. Might as well give some time to humor him, “Alright, you get one hour to impress me.”

“I’ll make it count,” He finished her sentence as he closed the door. Taking the drumsticks and headphones, he took a seat in front of the drum kit and quickly prepared, “This is for uhhh...what did we call 8?”

“ Uncensor My Songs On The Radio You Fucking Tool. ”

“Yeah, that’s it! Anyway, I think I figured out why it doesn’t fit on my end. Can you play from the beginning?”

“Sure, get ready in five seconds” It took just a few clicks to get to the song he wanted. She let the metronome play for just a few seconds for him to get the beat before hitting the record button as soon as the song played.

As soon as the song played, Pickles began without hesitation. The sound was much different compared to his other takes...and it fit perfectly as he had said. She waited though; listened to every hit and snare intensely for a mistake to come and screw his take over. But that moment never happened and before she knew it the song was over.

“How did I do?” He grinned at her as he wiped his sweaty forehead with his arm, “Not bad for one take, right?”

Impressive. “Not bad at all. I think this might be just the parts we needed to get the song to be finally done,” She answered as she hit the record button to pause the recording. She made sure to save the file and backed up the file into her work email. (Charles had requested she make backup copies of each recording without the boys’ knowledge when she began working. Just in case).

She watched as Pickles removed his headphones but quickly stopped him, “It’s great but I think another take would be good to have, right?”

“Oh C’mon! Isn’t it great as it is?!” He pleaded. He was foolish to think he could impress her with just one take.

“I’m not denying that it’s great but I’m sure you would be able to do another take if you got it all memorized, right?” She answered. The tone of her voice just shifted slightly enough to indicate a challenge and that’s all that Pickles needed to hear from her.

“Don’t think I can do it, huh?” He smiled back at her as he put the headphones back on.  It was a challenge he could easily win, after all, but she was never one to even let him believe it would be easy. The rush of it and the feeling of adrenaline starting to kick in made it all the more tempting,  “Well get the song playing again. I won’t stop until you’re satisfied.”

“You’re gonna end up tiring yourself out, Pickles.”

“You can let me off the hook then if you’re so worried about me.” He answered with the signature lopsided grin he gave out as freely as sweets, “I think there are some restaurants around that we can go to if you still haven’t eaten yet.”

Bargaining and banter had become something that they learned to communicate with. If there was anyone else in the room, there was no way she would be talking so loosely with him. They were alone however and would be for a long time so it became easier to shake off the layer of professionalism she had to keep up with all day. However, the remaining part of her brain that was still in work mode rejected his offer despite the temptation being far too great, “Not a chance; you walked yourself into this one...But if you wow me just early enough, I might take you up on your offer.”

“Get the song playing again and tell me when to stop.”

The truth was she was already satisfied by the third take but she did let him keep going at least two more times for good measure. By the time she said he was finished, Pickles’ legs were sore but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. Five takes weren’t bad at all and he found himself confident in the progress.

“Not bad, Pickles. I think there’s something there I can take for the recording.” Abigail answered with a grin that he tiredly returned.

“Hm, not satisfied yet, or just wanna keep my ego down?”

“Maybe.” She watched him put the headphones and drumsticks away before exiting the recording studio.

“I wanna hear it though. Play the best track.” He went to the mini-fridge and offered her a beer which she declined.

“Just get me a coke. The drink, I mean. I’ll play the best track in a second,” She had already labeled the track files by a number scale and taken notes so she didn’t need to relisten. He set the can of coke beside her as he watched her take a few moments to look through the notes before finally deciding on the best track. She quickly spliced it in with the demo and hit play.

Pickles already flopped on the couch, on his second can of beer already somehow (She didn’t know if it was impressive or horrifying). He didn’t say anything while the song played, leaned back against the couch. When it ended he asked, “Is that the best one?”

“Well, I think it is. It’s the one that doesn’t even need much editing. The others are just as great too, in all honesty,” She answered as she checked her notes briefly. She could go into great detail over the tracks, maybe even explain why the tracks were a perfect fit for a song but she didn’t want to ramble. And besides, he seemed a little bit bothered, “But what do you think?”

“Hm. Not as good as I thought it would be,” He said a little sullenly, “Nate’s gonna wanna delete it. I just know it.”

“Are you sure?  I don’t think he’d want you to delete them especially when he knows you’re having a hard time with this song. They’re all pretty good but if you want to talk with Knubbler since he’ll be doing most of the editing, just give him a call tomorrow.”

“Do you even think it’s good?”

“Of course. If I wasn’t satisfied enough, I would’ve had you still record a few more takes.”

That was an answer that seemed to satisfy him at least as he didn’t say anything else in retaliation. He only asked to play the track again, and finished his second can of beer, “I guess if you think it’s fine, I’ll take your word for it. It’s probably getting late isn’t it?”

“Come in tomorrow and you can listen to it again. If you really aren’t satisfied with it, you can try again,” She offered. She checked at her watch briefly; 10:45 PM. How has it been almost two hours already?

“Yeah, I think that sounds like a plan. We can put a stop to it for now. But uh, sorry for wasting your time.”

She shrugged, “You’re not, Pickles. Don’t worry about it. I would’ve left around this time anyway.”

“Okay, if you say so.” With a shrug, he shifted his mood and stood up. He didn’t seem to sulk longer than he usually did, probably because it was already late and they were both tired, “Did you still wanna eat?”

“Don’t you usually eat with your bandmates?” Usually, mealtimes were the quickest and easiest ways to find them if she needed to. Having memorized that schedule, she knew that dinner was about a few hours ago...or a few hours from now depending on what they did that day.

“Yeah but not today; Offdensen really had us doing interviews all fuckin’ day. I don’t think I’ve eaten lunch yet and I guess you didn’t get dinner either?”

“Nope. I was planning to, anyway.” A late dinner invitation was not rare to get but it was rarer to get one by someone she wouldn’t mind having dinner with. Their relationship with each other was always professional, and he also had years of experience in the music business outside Dethklok. It always felt refreshing to talk to someone who shared the same interests as her. She put her laptop away in her briefcase once she saved all her files; her night was officially done, “Is there someone even able to make dinner at this time?”

“There should be. If not, there are probably leftovers in the fridge. Or we can order pizza, it’s completely your call.”

She slung the briefcase over her shoulder, following him to the hallway. After shutting and locking the door to the recording studio (Charles gave the only keys to her and Knubbler), she walked with him to the kitchen where the conversation of dinner slowly shifted to music and almost anything they could cram in the next two hours.

And by the end of that night, the late dinner invitations became frequent and she had accepted every single one. He always hung around by her last hour of work, even if it meant staying up late. It only meant ordering food to be delivered to them as Pickles convinced her to watch a film she hadn’t seen in years or her convincing him to watch one of her favorite guilty pleasure sitcoms.

For the most part, it was assumed she was just working with him on the album. No one really needed to know about the breaks where they shared a beer and gossiped about the celebrities they had interacted with before. As far as Knubbler and everyone knew, she was using most of the two hours to perfect his recording.

But just a few months later, the hangouts and late-night dinner invitations stopped in their tracks with no warning whatsoever.

She wondered at first if it was something she had done. But then it began affecting his work and it was clear he was distracted about something. She knew and learned enough about him that he was a perfectionist when it came to the drums; he was always a person who wanted to do his job correctly when it came to something he really did care about at the end of the day. Music was his passion, after all. And if he didn’t have passion for the things he cared about the most, then something was going on.

“Do you want to take a break, Pickles?” She asked. It was currently her fifth time asking the same question that week alone.

“No, it’s fine. Let’s keep going.” He answered as he picked up his drums and waited for her to press record.

She didn’t say anything else after that and she let him leave after a few hours. He left before she could get a word out and she would be met with the rising feeling that something bad was about to happen and recordings that not even Knubbler could salvage.

A few days later, she figured out what happened. It took a text from the staff group chat and an email that contained a video to piece the puzzle together.

“Hey, Neon Genesis Evan gail ion. It’s me, your coworker, Seth.”

She did not watch the rest of the video (sober) and instead asked about the video in the group chat. Seth was never invited to the chat for the same reason Melmord was not invited to the second wedding of Seth and whatever poor woman he got roped up with.

Just by that video and conversation, she had connected why Pickles might be upset. It had something to do with the wedding, sure, but what specifically about it? Was it that he had known the girl Seth planned to marry? She wanted to ask so many questions but limited herself to three. But even those three questions were quickly narrowed down to one, then none at all when she realized it would be harder to pry anything out of him.

But, as advised by Knubbler, it was best to keep going. He’d probably breakthrough midway through a recording session. Being someone who knew to listen to others, she listened to his advice for at least a few more days.

She waited those few days and then two more. It was clear whatever was bothering him was still going to continue bothering him until the end of time probably. She had to talk to him against their better judgments; it felt like the only option available to her.

It was a session that lasted over seven hours and she was sure both of them were getting frustrated on their own ends. No amount of coffee or whiskey could even cure the boredom and annoyance that was of a session that would lead to nowhere. It was better to just cut things short and talk about it. If not even the drums could help him feel better, how serious was the situation?

She pressed the intercom button when the song finished and she immediately hit delete. There was no way to salvage the song, “Pickles, would you mind if we talk?”

His expression was perplexed for a moment before he resigned to his fate, not giving much of a protest, “Alright,” he answered with a sigh. He set his drumsticks down as he walked out of the booth, taking a seat by the couch.

She was never all that good at talking to people about feelings in all honesty. And he seemed like a rather emotional guy, to begin with. There were a few moments of awkward silence between them as she tried to find what a good way to start the conversation would be, “I think we know that you seem distracted lately. What’s been bothering you?”

And despite all her mental preparations that he would find it hard to pry open, he actually opened up quite honestly, “Well you know about the wedding right?”

“Yeah, he invited me too.” She answered as she thought back to the weird video message Seth had sent her. She wondered if she should even make a comment about that but decided against it, “You don’t want him to get married or something?”

“I don’t care about that. He could get married as many times as he wants; He’s still getting a fucking Vitamix.  But it’s not about that,” He answered, “It’s my mom. She’s been blowing up my phone all week asking about who I’m bringing with me to Seth’s wedding. Keeps talking about how I should settle down, find someone to marry, or whatever. But I don’t have the time to date!”

She stared at him and didn’t say a single word until he caved in.

“Okay, time’s not the problem but dating while you’re this famous is fucking hard. You must’ve seen that public divorce in ‘89 right?”

She definitely remembered. She was on college radio at the time and had taken over someone’s show. It was either some debate or public opinion show and that was probably one of the more shows she had ever experienced. Did it help that she was a fan of his music back in the day? No, but she would not admit that “I kind of knew about it. It sounded like it was an awful divorce for you. But you were only nineteen, weren’t you? You shouldn't stop yourself from dating for something that happened when you were just a teen.”

“Nineteen, thirty-five, ninety, does it matter? It was as awful behind the scenes as it was in public. I’m not gonna bore you with that but basically, I’m done with dating. And she won’t see that!”

“Well...maybe one of your bandmates can be your date?” She offered.

“Nah, been there, done that, it didn’t work out. And plus, would you even fake date any of them?”

She thought for a moment, “Yeah, smart choice.”

“It’s gotta be someone she has never met before to make it more believable.”

“I see,” Abigail paused. She had waited, expecting almost, for Pickles to look at her, drop the ‘except…’, and plead for her to be his fake date but he didn’t. He only reached into the mini-fridge to pull out a beer, offering one to Abigail who accepted. She didn’t like the beer and had to hide her disgusted look as she took a sip and tried to set it down casually.

The conversation had died out like that. She kept on sipping the beer and hoping he would say something. But he didn’t and it became clear that she had to be the one to speak up. There was only one possible solution to it and it felt like the most obvious., “If you can’t find anyone else, I can be your date.” She offered.

Pickles looked at her like she had asked him to play the drums with his mouth, “I respect you too much to get you involved with my family. They’re like...leeches that suck the fuckin’ life out of you! This is a me problem, you don’t need to fix that. ”

“Well...it’s affecting your drumming too.” she pointed out as she looked at him, “And trust me, I know what I’m getting into. I can handle it, Pickles. I work for Dethklok and I’ve certainly been through a lot more than just a wedding party. I appreciate your concern, but let me help.”

“Abigail...” He almost pleaded.

“I owe you, remember?”

He clearly did remember, “but-”

“He invited me anyway, Pickles. I’m still going out of work obligations; I promise this won’t bother me at all.”

“But you know it’s gonna have to be a lot more than just going to my brother’s wedding right? My mom will want to meet you and who knows what other folks are gonna try and meet you too.”

That was one thing more terrifying than the branding ceremony. Was it even worth it to complete the album?, “Then basically we’d just be faking a relationship until the ceremony?”

“I guess yeah...and that’s...three months from now? You really don’t-”

“As I said, I know what I’m getting into. I want to help you and if we have to do this for a week, months, or a year, it’s okay with me.”

Pickles said nothing for the longest time. He held the half-empty can of beer, nulling over his options that probably didn’t help with him being slightly intoxicated, “You won’t hate me right?”

It caught her off guard almost but she remained on track, “Of course not. I promise,” If she hated him, that would mean there would be no more all-nighters together but she wouldn’t admit that.

“Okay. Just so you know you can back out of this anytime, I won’t be offended if you do.” He said finally and that had sealed the deal, “But we need to keep this a secret which I know is probably obvious enough. If the guys find out, they’ll never stop teasing us about it.”

“But if all we really need to do is just please your parents, I don’t think that will be a problem. Don’t worry about me, Pickles; it’ll be fine. I promise that I will back out if I don’t want to do this anymore.”

It was clear he was unsure still and she didn’t know how much more convincing he would really need. But perhaps that was something to let sit and process; and hopefully, in time, he’d warm up to the idea enough to feel like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

There was nothing else she could really do at this point she knew. It was a quick resolution but a slow payoff and she had done what she could for the day, "How about you take the rest of the day off? If you wanna give recording the song a shot tomorrow, we can."

“Alright,” He threw out the half-finished beer can, beer spilled from the can, some of it splashing into the sides of the trash can and leaving a potent smell of beer. She made a reminder to herself to have a klokateer replace the trash can later. But it would be quickly forgotten when he spoke up again, “I uh, appreciate it, Abigail. I really do."

"It's not a problem at all. I hope you know that you can always turn to me if you need anything?"

"I do, yeah, and uh the same right back," He paused for a moment, "I'll take you out to dinner sometime if you want. It's the least I can do."

"That would be nice but I don't need a big fancy dinner. I'm fine eating here, and watching a movie." She answered. She wanted to speak more but her phone began ringing and she saw that it was from Charles, "I should probably take this."

"Oh yeah, go ahead. And uh, if you wanna grab some dinner again you know where to find me. I'm sorry I bailed out on you this week, I'll make it up to you." He quickly left before she could speak.

All alone in the studio, she took a moment to compose herself. Refusing to give herself even more time to let what she had gotten herself into sink in, she answered the phone.

It was only three months but somehow this new task felt like it would end up being the hardest task yet. But, she had an album to finish. It was just part of the job, right?

[kusunogatari]

[ ObiRyū October | Day Eighteen | Cheating ] [ @abyssaldespair ] [ Uchiha Obito, Suigin Ryū, Fubuki ] [ Verse: Into the Abyss ]

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Retirement, as he likes to call it, has been far too kind to him.

Sure, working for Konoha for a pittance of pay isn’t easy. In the literal sense, sure. He’s accomplished far more with far less. He’s Uchiha Obito, near-conqueror of the world. But it’s still tenuous, time-consuming, boring, and a blow to his pride. To go from a major warlord pulling the strings of multiple nations to a village errand boy is a difficult pill to swallow.

But he does it for two reasons. One is a genuine guilt for his actions, and a wish to make up as much as he can before he perishes. A want to better a world he had so much hand in harming.

And the second, well…

“Obito!”

He’s currently baking in the Autumn sun on an oddly warm day. With a want to remain as covered as he can to keep his zetsu half hidden, he hasn’t consented to even rolling up his sleeves despite the heat, and his labor. The leaves are falling in Konoha, and...well, he’s been tasked with helping to clean them up.

In the village’s largest park.

Which has more trees than he can count of no small size.

He’s already gone through the canteen of water he took with him, skin shining with sweat. Ugh, he’s so horribly out of shape...the months in prison and then house arrest with Kakashi have not been kind to him. Let alone all his time recovering from the bijū being ripped from him. Regaining his lost mass and strength is taking time he didn’t know he’d need.

All in all...he’s miserable.

But that one word - that name, those three syllables - pronounced by that tongue immediately lifts his spirits.

Brightening, he turns, rake still in hand, to see Ryū crossing to him. Unlike him, she has a day off today, free of the hospital until her next shift tomorrow. But instead, it seems she’s decided to check on him.

“Kakashi told me where to find you,” she offers as she approaches, a bag slung over her shoulder. “You poor thing, you must be so warm…!”

Obito finds himself a bit bashful at her fussing. “I’m all right.”

The look she gives him makes it clear: she knows he’s fibbing. “Well...either way, I brought you something. Come sit down.”

“But -?”

“If the ANBU watching you have a problem, they can take it up with me,” she sniffs. “You clearly need a break or you’re going to pass out. There’s a bench right here. Sit.” Grinning, she adds, “Doctor's orders, ne?”

That earns a breathy chuckle. “All right, all right…” He takes the tool with him, leaning it nearby and sitting with a sigh. From here, he can see all the piles he’s raked, yet to be moved to the community compost heap for the farms outside the village walls.

...he’s raked a lot of leaves today.

“Okay first...here…” She pulls a new canteen out, and Obito unabashedly snatches it, unscrewing the cap and chugging. “Slow down, you’ll give yourself a bellyache!”

His Adam’s apple bobs a few more times before surfacing for a breath. “Sorry...I really needed that.”

Her eyes give a gentle roll. “Well...that’s why I brought two. Make the other one last, okay?”

“I will.”

Next, she pulls out a bento box, and Obito flushes red as his stomach gurgles.

Giggling behind a palm, she hands it over. “Here. I knew you’d be hungry.”

“You’re a literal angel.”

It’s her turn to go pink. “Well...I wanted to make sure you were prepared for today. It’s so darn hot, and this isn’t exactly a quick task…”

“Kakashi says I just need to go until sundown. If there’s stuff left, others are going to be hired for it. I just need to get the bulk of it done.”

As usual, the notion makes her scowl. But given they’ve had this conversation before, she withholds her reaction. “...well, I’ll have dinner ready by then, too. Just be sure to keep hydrated, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

That earns him a look: mildly chastising, a bit weary, but mostly affectionate.

He loves that look.

He loves everything about her.

“Just take care of yourself, ne? I worry about you enough.”

“I know, I know...I’ll be careful.” But she’s not always around to keep the ANBU at bay and let him take a breather. Being stared at by a bunch of top-tier shinobi without access to his chakra or Sharingan makes him...uncomfortable. So he doesn’t try anything.

She gives him a once-over, looking for anything else to say before her eyes catch sight of his hands. They’re raw and blistered. “Obito!”

“What?”

“Why aren’t you wearing gloves?!”

“I...don’t have -?”

Scowling again, she takes his hands (firmly, but gently) and starts healing them despite his protests. “I’m going to get you some gloves. Don’t rake another leaf until I get back.”

“Ryū -”

“And if any ANBU tell you otherwise, you tell them to talk to me.”

“Ryū, you -”

“Kakashi is going to get an earful for sending you out here without proper equipment.”

“Ryū!” He wants to grab her shoulders to stifle her, but...she’s got a very proper hold of his hands. “It’s fine. It’s my responsibility.”

“It’s not fine! It’s bad enough you’re doing these tasks, let alone that they’re hurting you.”

He sighs. “You’re babying me.”

“I am not.”

“...yes you are. I’m a grown man. Some hard work and blisters aren’t going to kill me.”

As the last of the marks fade, she doesn’t release his hands. A silence blooms, and he nearly breaks it. But then she speaks.

“...I don’t like seeing you hurt,” is her quiet reply. “...not after seeing what they did to you in prison. It drags up all those memories, and I just…”

With a sigh, Obito softens. “...I can say the same. It always makes me think of what Root did to you. But really, Ryū...I’m fine.”

Her lowered gaze lifts to his face. There’s still a trace of the soft, uncensored look she had when they first met. But it’s edged with the hardness she’s gained since then. “...I’m still getting you the gloves. You can get back to work in the meantime, but...I’ll be right back.”

“All right.”

He eats his bento, Ryū accepting the empty dish once he’s finished, and the drained canteens. But before she leaves, she lifts up to her toes and gives his forehead a gentle press of her lips.

“I’ll be right back.”

Not needing to reply, Obito watches her go. She’s fussy, and overprotective, and maybe a little immature at times.

But gods, he could never love anyone else the way he loves her.

Aware of the eyes on him, he gets back to raking, a scant few minutes passing before Ryū returns with a fine pair of soft leather gloves. They look expensive...but when he voices as much, she brushes the concern aside.

“They’re well-made, so they’ll last. You’re surely going to need them again after today. Consider it an investment, ne?”

He just nods, already thinking of ways to repay her.

“...now, I’ll leave you to it. See you when you get home.”

As it has since he deemed it safe to move in with her, his heart does a little flutter at the phrase. Home. It’s so odd. He hasn’t had a true, proper home in nearly two decades. But now he has not only that, but someone to come home to.

After losing Rin, he never would have imagined that.

“See you.” Watching her go, he feels a surge of motivation. Get this done...go home...have dinner with his beautiful partner...and get to sleep by her side.

It’s what keeps him going.

The day wanes slowly, sun slowly sinking toward the horizon as he powers through. Pile after pile after pile of leaves build up, and for the last hour, he starts hauling them, wheelbarrowful by wheelbarrowful, to the dumping grounds.

“Gee, sure would be a lot faster if I could make a few clones and had a few more wheelbarrows,” he muses aloud as he dumps another load of leaves, just to annoy the ANBU. “Think of how much more efficient I could be! I could have raked the whole park by now!”

He knows they’re glowering at him, but messing with them in any small ways he can is part of the fun. Obito is well aware he can’t use chakra, as are they.

But oh, the things he could do if he could…

While he and Kakashi both know he’s not about to go ballistic in the middle of Konoha now, there’s little convincing anyone else. So, he’s forced to deal with it. The Rokudaime had hinted there was a possibility of, after a great deal of good behavior, being given slow access to more and more of his ability. But it would be a long time before then, if ever.

So, Obito goes on about his duties as patiently as he can, awaiting a day he might regain just a sliver of his freedom.

Turning in his tools once the day is done, the park manager signs off on his paperwork and bids him goodbye. Turning in said paperwork to Kakashi, Obito receives the details for tomorrow’s assignment: repainting an old farmer’s barn outside the village walls. Wonderful. He’ll be outside Konoha, so even more ANBU than usual.

But...that’s for tomorrow’s Obito to deal with. Today’s Obito has a warm meal and an evening to look forward to first.

Ryū, as it so happens, is a wonderful cook. And an excellent baker. Ever since his release from prison, she’s been combining that knowledge with medical dietary expertise to help him regain his lost weight and muscle mass from then, and the last battle of the war. Supercharged meals with just the right nutrients to nurse him back from his weakened state.

...but there have been...temptations.

Obito, you see, has a devilishly strong sweet tooth. And as it so happens, Ryū does as well. Every so often she’ll make sweet little goodies, and despite his strict diet, she’ll allow him a bit to tide him over until he’s back to full health.

But the urge to cheat that diet is strong. It’s nutritious and delicious, but...well, a man can’t deny his fickle urges.

Arriving at the proper house, already filled with good memories and bad, Obito steps in with a quick, “Tadaima”, removing his shoes with a sigh.

“Okaeri! Still in the kitchen - almost done!”

“Sure smells good,” he offers in reply, stepping up into the house and inhaling deeply. Hearty, savory smells fill the air...as well as something sweet.

Oh no.

Carrying a dish, Ryū enters the dining room and sets it down. “Want to help me?”

“Of course.” He too ferries things from room to room until they’re ready to sit and eat. Seafood, vegetables, rice, and even some other meats are piled high onto his plate.

“So, how were your gloves?” Ryū asks, taking a bite.

“Good. A little stiff at first, but they broke right in. You’re right, they seem sturdy.”

“They’ll last a long time so long as you take care of them!”

He nods, trying to eat without just shoveling it into his mouth. He can’t help it with her cooking, let alone that he’s so damn hungry!

Ryū, able to tell as much, just watches him with a hint of amusement, fighting (and losing) against a smile. “So...did the rest of the day go okay?”

“Yeah. Hauled everything to compost. Made a good dent. Manager seemed happy with it.”

“Good! And tomorrow?”

“Painting an old barn for some older guy outside the wall. Won’t be difficult.”

“It’s not supposed to be nearly as hot tomorrow, so that will help.” Ryū heaves a small sigh. “Konoha’s just so darn warm…”

“It is...but you think you’d be used to it by now.”

At that, she snorts. “I was born and bred in the mountains! I’m not meant for a hot climate, ne?”

The rest of the meal passes before they tidy up, working together to do up the dishes and get everything put away...and then Ryū reveals what’s been tickling his nose with that sweet smell.

A batch of chocolate cookies.

“I figured you deserved a treat after today, ne? One for now, and I’ll put one in your bento for tomorrow.”

Obito stares at them rather intensely. Just one…? But he worked so hard today! Well...one is better than none. He looks them over before picking what he determines to be the largest one, even if they’re likely all the same size. And to make it last, he takes tiny nibbles while Ryū takes one for herself.

From there, it’s time to wind down for the evening. Obito bathes, Ryū also taking a turn before they snuggle up on the couch. By now, Obito’s day is starting to catch up with him, an ache forming in his shoulders and low back.

Ryū, ever vigilant, notices his wincing posture and starts easing at the muscles with her hands.

Immediately, Obito gives a satisfied groan, head bowing at her attentions.

“Poor thing,” she sympathizes. “We’ll get you feeling better, then we better go to bed. You’ve had a long day.”

“Mhm…” He’s only half listening, too focused on the feeling of her hands on his back.

A few last tasks before bed - brushing teeth, braiding hair - before they head up to the bedroom and change for the night. As soon as Ryū joins him beneath the covers, Obito snuggles right back up to her. After his stint in Konoha’s prison, intimacy is...difficult. But he’s still more than happy to touch as much of her with him that he can.

And Ryū is just as content with it as he is. “Mm...goodnight, koi. Get some rest.”

“Will do,” is his muffled reply, already starting to doze. Bed is so comfy, Ryū is so comfy...he’s full of good food, and tomorrow’s job shouldn’t be too difficult, so long as the old man isn’t ornery.

But after Ryū falls asleep, breath slow and steady, Obito is still awake.

He has a craving.

Glancing to her to ensure she really is out for the night, he then carefully disentangles himself, slipping out from under the blankets and tiptoeing toward the door. Down the stairs, around the corner, and into the kitchen where a porcelain jar sits.

Within...are the cookies.

Just one more won’t hurt. Just one! Sure, he’s still recovering, but...surely this isn’t going to hurt anyone, least of all him! It’s a reward for all his hard work today. Lifting the lid, he takes in the blooming scent of chocolate. Immediately, his mouth waters. Okay...eat a cookie, brush his teeth (again), and then slip back into bed without Ryū noticing.

It’s genius.

Plucking a treat from the pile inside the jar, he gives it an appreciative sniff. Then a bite crunches into the cookie, a hum of satisfaction quiet in the silence of the kitchen.

...and then he hears something.

Freezing, Obito listens to a very subtle click-clack, click-clack. What is that…? Turning, he looks through the door of the kitchen, but...doesn’t see anything. What is -?

“Did Ryū-sama give you permission for seconds?”

Half-choking on the cookie still in his mouth as he gasps, Obito tries to stifle a cough. Only once he can breathe does he spin back around to spy...Fubuki. Ryū’s haughty owl summon. “Gods, you scared the crap out of me!”

The sooty-spotted white owl just blinks at him, clearly not amused. “Did she not warn you about overindulging in sweets?”

He pouts back at her. “It’s just one cookie -”

“And she puts hours of effort into your meals to ensure you are meeting your dietary requirements...let alone the cost of all this fresh food for your sake.”

...is she guilt tripping him right now?

Feathers ruffle. “Do not usurp her efforts again.”

Obito just squints at her, watching her go, talons click-clacking along the floor. Why does this bird hate him so much?!

But...now he does feel guilty. He could put it back, but...he already took a bite. Ryū will know! He could hide it somewhere, but then what?

Frustrated, he puts it in a little container for her to use for his bento. She’ll know, but...at least he’ll be honest about it. Swishing out his mouth, he returns to bed, somehow not waking her.

Come morning, it’s Ryū who rises first. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she moves downstairs to get ready for work, and to prepare what Obito will need. There’s a pause as she spots the munched cookie.

“You were right. He came in.”

Turning, Ryū lets her summon alight upon her shoulder with a snort. “Did he, now?”

“But it seems my lecture was effective. He quickly gave up.”

“Well...thank you for your diligence, Fubuki. Ready to go out?” As the owl nods, Ryū takes her to the front door, letting her alight into the first sun of morning. Then onto her own business she goes, including putting together Obito’s bento. She puts in the cookie...and then after a moment of thought, puts in another.

He’s right. One cookie won’t hurt anyone.

     A healthy does of fluff! I’m...not keen on romantic cheating as a subject for personal reasons, so...Meg suggested this instead. And I loved it xD Poor Obito...just let the man have his darn cookie! He’s earned it!      Anyway, it’s...very late and I’m very tired so that’ll do it for tonight! Thanks for reading~

[breanime]

Tiny Little Increments (Part Four)

Warning: some slight steam! And this one’s a little longer to make up for the shortness of Part Three. I hope you enjoy!

*gif by @bilyrusso* (I think? I had it saved in my computer for this chapter, I hope it’s yours!)

Your heart stopped. Logan got out of his car—a cherry red Ferrari that purred like a fucking kitten—wearing a white button-up and black slacks, hair impeccably styled, and a grin on his face. Frank’s back was to you as you stood behind him on the porch, but you could practically feel him pricing Logan up.

“Hey Y/N!” Logan greeted you cheerfully. “You look great!” He stopped when he approached the gate. “You must be…”

“Frank,” your father said, thrusting his hand out for Logan to shake, “Y/N’s father.”

“Barely,” you interjected drily. You turned away, partly to tell the kids you were leaving, and partly to avoid having to see Logan shake hands with your father. “Kids, I’m leaving!” You called out, slamming the door shut before any of them could rush out, though you did see Cam, Emma, and Ethan in the window watching you. “Come on,” you said, taking Logan’s arm and trying to lead him away.

“Well, hold on, now,” Frank said, coming to stand beside you and peering over at Logan. “Just what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?” He asked.

Logan opened his mouth to answer with what you could only assume was a colorful and fully uncensored response, but you spoke before he could. “I’ll be back in an hour,” you lied, “so go get drunk somewhere else, and don’t bother the kids.”

“They’re my kids,” Frank pouted.

 “Only by blood,” you muttered, “Just go, Frank, please.”

“Hold on a minute,” Frank said, coming to stand in front of you and sticking his finger in your face, “I think it’s my right, as your father, to make sure you’re safe and that this guy knows how to treat you. So,” he turned to Logan now, “Logan, that come with a last name?”

  “Frank…” you began.

  “Delos,” Logan answered, “Logan Delos.”

Frank’s red eyes widened, and you knew that meant he knew that name. “Of the Delos Corporation?” He asked, practically salivating. “The multi-millionaire company with all that stock in robots and A.I?”

 “That’s the one,” Logan nodded.

 Frank turned to you. “Do anything he wants, Y/N,” he ordered seriously.

You felt Logan stiffen beside you, and you felt a wave of mortification go through you. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, your father wouldn’t do for cash—for drugs, which included selling you out when the opportunity arose, apparently—and you wanted to sock him right in his wrinkled, greasy face, but that wasn’t a good way to start a date.

“You’re kind of a piece of shit, aren’t you?” Logan asked, breaking the silence. He didn’t seem offended or incensed; he was just stating a simple fact. He seemed curious, actually.

Frank only grinned. “Where do you think she gets it from?”

“Okay,” you said with yet another eyeroll “Come by tomorrow and I’ll think about letting you take a shower,” you compromised, putting your hand on Frank’s back to move him forward and out of the yard, “You smell like a brewery in a zoo.”

He muttered a few things as he walked away, turning back every few seconds to glance back at Logan and the car.

“I see where you get your looks from,” Logan joked, opening the car door for you.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back a laugh, “My looks, my pre-disposition to addiction, my general distrust of the human race,” you shrugged, “My genetics are the gift that keeps on givin’.”

“Hey, I’m a fan of your fucked-up genetics,” Logan said back, leaning over and kissing you.

“So,” you smiled, “Where are you taking me tonight?”

He revved the engine, and you felt the soft vibration underneath your thighs. “To Pound Town,” he answered, flashing you a pleased grin when you rolled your eyes at him. Laughing, he put a hand on your leg, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the simple gesture. “And also to a hotel suite where we can be as loud as we want. Oh—and they have room service, so we won’t even have to leave the room all night.” He glanced over at you; dark eyes gleaming. “You are staying the night, aren’t you?”

You leaned back, smiling. “I haven’t decided yet,” you teased, “I guess it kinds of depends on how many orgasms you give me.”

“That’s all I have to offer, sweetheart,” Logan said back, “Smiles and orgasms.”

You laughed—Logan was definitely a good time. You talked as he drove you; he asked you what the kids were up to tonight, and he told you about the guy he had to do business with the other day. Things were going well…

…and then you pulled up to the hotel.

It was easily the most expensive building in the city, and your jaw dropped at the sight of it. A valet opened your door for you, and Logan led you inside, grinning all the while. The lobby looked like something out of a dream, all bright lights and soft golden decorations. It was huge, full of people dressed to the nines, and you felt a little out of place.

Logan put his arm around your waist, leading you to the elevator. “I rented a suite on the top floor, we’ve got a private pool, twenty-four hour staff, and soundproof walls.” He leaned down, mouth on your ear as the elevator doors closed, “But I’m thinking it’d be wise for us to…” His arm slid down to your ass, “…test that.”

You turned to him, moving so that your mouth was on his. “Before or after dinner?” You asked. “Because I can wait on food if I get to eat you, first.”

Logan sighed before leaning over and kissing you. “Fuck,” he whispered, “I’m trying to wine and dine you, here. You’re making it hard for me.”

You pushed up against him, pressing your front against his growing hard-on. “That’s the point,” you grinned back. The elevator dinged, and you stepped back with a chuckle, hearing Logan’s soft “fuck” behind you as you stepped out. He took your hand—another soft gesture that you weren’t quite sure how you felt about—and led you down the hall to your room.

“Here we are,” he said, opening the door for you.

Once again, your jaw dropped. It wasn’t so much a room as much as a fucking apartment, fully furnished with a set table in the middle of the room, a bottle of champagne resting in a bucket of ice.

“Jesus,” you said, dropping your purse to the ground and walking around, “This place is ridiculous.” You went to the table and picked up a plate. “How much does this cost? It looks like it’s more than I spend on food in a month—and I have five kids to feed!”

Logan laughed, taking the plate and putting it back down. He pulled you back by the waist before pulling your chair out. “Have a seat,” he instructed you softly, kissing you on the top of the head, “Get whatever you want from the menu,” he said as he moved to sit across from you.

You looked down at the menu laid out in front of you. Several of the dishes sounded disgusting, another handful had names you couldn’t even pronounce, but some sounded delicious. “Can I take whatever I want from the hotel?” You blurted out.

Logan laughed again. “Or I could just buy you your own set of plates.”

“I don’t take charity,” you answered back easily, “Just plates. And silverware,” you looked around, “and maybe some of the glassware. Definitely the shampoo and soap and toilet paper.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Now seems like a good time to ask you about your parents.”

“Pop the champagne,” you said, “and I will.”

Logan did, then he took your order, and put it in with the front desk. He sat down across from you once he got off of the phone and smiled. “So… Frank?”

You sipped your champagne, and it tasted expensive. “Frank’s an alcoholic, drug addict, compulsive liar, narcissist… The whole package.”

“How’d you end up taking care of the kids? And the house?”

You shrugged. “My mom was always in and out, she’d stick around long enough to get pregnant and have the babies, and when she left, it was up to me to take care of them.” You licked your lips; you usually didn’t talk about your family life with the guys you hook up with, but… Logan was genuinely asking, genuinely curious. “She’s an addict, too, so even when she was around…she wasn’t. And Frank,” you took another sip, “he’s always been in love with himself, the bottle, and the needle, and not exactly in that order. He used to go on these long drug binges with no warning, and me and Jeremy would have to watch over the house and kids.”

Logan leaned forward. “How’d you do it?” He asked.

“Do what?”

“Do…this.” He gestured over at you. “Raise five kids and take care of the house and manage your dad.”

“I dunno,” you put your glass down, “It had to be done. It’s no big deal.”

“But it is,” he said, “I don’t… I don’t get how you could do all of that. I mean… You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, resourceful—”

“—How do you know I’m smart?” You laughed. “We just met.”

“Well, you’d have to be to raise five kids on the budget that you have,” he answered, honest as ever, “But also… I looked you up.”

You shook your head, thrown off. “You—you looked me up? How? Like, you Googled me?”

“No,” he took another drink, smirking now, “My company has a new, more intricate search engine—it’s coming out next year, it’s gonna blow Google out of the water.” He put his glass down. “I found a bunch of articles about your grades and how smart you were and how everyone in your neighborhood was rooting for you. I also read you got a few scholarships to go to college…”  He went on, and you took a breath as you listened to him detail your life. “But you didn’t go.”

You took your drink and swallowed as much of it as you could. “Yeah,” you said simply.

“Why not?”

You shrugged one-shoulder. “No time.”

“Because of the kids?” He pressed. “Or your Dad?” He sat back. “Because if it were me, I’d take my chances at college.”

“Yeah,” you said back, “but it’s not you.” You put your hands on the table to keep from moving them too much as you spoke. “I couldn’t do college and take care of the kids, leave them to the dogs—to Frank. Liam’s only a baby, and Emma and Cam need someone stable. I would do anything for them,” you said, meaning it with every fiber of your being, “So the decision wasn’t hard. If I have to choose between me and them, I’d choose them every time.” You reached over and grabbed the bottle, pouring yourself another drink. “Those kids are my life, Logan.”

“See, I just don’t get that,” he said, “The way things work in my family, you’re on your own. You do what’s best for you—or at least what’s more fun for you, and that’s it.”

“Yeah? What’s your family like?” You raised an eyebrow when he made a face. “You told me you’d tell me about them.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, shaking his head, “I did… My Mom’s been on every prescription pill ever made—which I get, she’s married to my Dad and those opioids make you feel fucking fantastic. My Dad’s an ass; he’s hated me since the womb, I’m sure. He says I’m a perpetual fuck-up.” Logan shrugged. “He’s not exactly wrong.”

“It looks like you’re doing pretty well for yourself to me,” you said, looking around the hotel.

He laughed. “I’m good with people, what can I say?” He took another sip. “But the addict apple doesn’t fall far from the addict tree,” he confessed easily, “I’m two years sober—heroin was my drug of choice—but every time I speak to my father, he never misses a chance to tell me that it won’t last.”

You frowned. Here he was, in a posh ass hotel suite after spending at least three figures on groceries for a girl he’d just met, being casually open and honest, and his Dad treats him like that? That wasn’t right. “Your Dad sounds like a piece of shit.”

Logan’s eyes grew wide before he let out a laugh. He raised his glass. “I completely agree, and may I say… So is yours.”

You held up your glass. “To shitty fathers and absent mothers,” you toasted.

“Cheers,” Logan said, clinking his glass with yours. There was a knock on the door, and he got up to answer it. He led two waiters in, and you watched, mouthwatering, as they placed your food in front of you.

“Oh my God,” you said as the waiters walked out and Logan sat in front of you, “This smells amazing.”

“The head chef here is from France,” Logan said, leaning back with a smile, “He’s a much better cook than a lay.”

“The opposite of me,” you grinned, licking your lips. You looked up at Logan. “I’m warning you now, the way I’m about to eat this… I won’t look like a lady.”

He laughed, and gestured to your plate. “Have at it.”

You dug in, your mouth watering as the delicious mix of flavors and spices hit your tongue. You closed your eyes and moaned at the first swallow, and Logan was watching you when you opened them again.

“Shit,” he said, eyes burning your skin with how intensely he was watching you, “You’re so goddamn sexy.”

“If you think that was sexy,” you grinned, “Wait until you see me eat dessert.”

By the time you two had eaten, sent the dirty dishes to the kitchen, and had dessert, you were feeling buzzed and full and unexpectedly comfortable in a way that was simultaneously scary and intoxicating. You were sitting on the L-couch now, with your head on Logan’s shoulder and his arm around you. His other arm was on your thigh, fingers lazily caressing the exposed skin as the two of you talked.

“So,” you said, snuggling closer to him—a move that was foreign to you, but felt natural, “You saw Ethan at a gay club?”

He chuckled. “He said we had to keep that between us,” he answered, “but I guess he caved faster than I thought.”

You shrugged. “I cornered him. Ethan’s the easiest one to break, you want a challenge, try to get a secret out of Jeremy or Emma.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Nah. I knew he was gay. I just didn’t know he was going to gay clubs,” you bit your lip as you looked up at Logan. “What are those places like?”

“The one Ethan was going to was way too old for him,” Logan said, “Cocktails are good, but it’s mostly older guys trying to trap a younger kid. The place I recommended for Ethan is mostly guys his age with fake IDs. It’s run by this old queen and his husband, and they don’t let older guys in at all. I used to go there whenever we were in Chicago when I was a teenager.”

Huh… “Thanks,” you said.

Now it was Logan who shrugged. “No problem. He’s a good kid. I don’t want him to have to go through what I had to go through when I was his age.” He looked down at you. “I meant what I said earlier: I like your siblings.”

There it was again, that spark of electricity in your spine that only happened when you were with Logan, or thinking about Logan, or around Logan… “And… You like me.” You said, voice a little unsure.

Logan pulled back, an eyebrow cocked. “I thought that was obvious.”

“Yeah, but…” You shook your head. “But you didn’t have to do all this,” you gestured around you, “And you didn’t have to get groceries for the house or let the kids take your car, or…”

“I did that stuff because I like you,” he answered easily, “I like the way being around you makes me feel,” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I like how you don’t take shit from anyone,” he kissed your nose, “I like how you take care of your brothers and sister,” his mouth was hovering over yours now, “I like how your pussy curves around my dick…”

You didn’t need to hear anymore. You leaned forward and kissed him, hard. Logan kissed you back, wrapping you in his arms and flipping you so he was on top of you. Your hands went under his shirt, scratching at his bare back as his tongue slipped in and out of your mouth. Kissing Logan was unlike anything you’d known before; it was breathtaking and heart stopping and exhilarating all at once. He fit against you like a puzzle piece, he moved against you as if he’d been doing it his entire life, his body rolling and moving with yours as if you were in a dance. He was the perfect partner.

Wordlessly, because what else need to be said, Logan picked you up and carried you to the bed. You vaguely registered how soft it was; it was like lying on a cloud, but your mind couldn’t even spare more than a second to recognize its softness because Logan was kissing and caressing you and taking your clothes off and it was all too much. You closed your eyes and let yourself melt into Logan, because even if this couldn’t last—and it couldn’t—you could at least enjoy it in the moment, and deal with reality in the morning. Until then, you enjoyed the feel of Logan on top of you, his mouth on yours, the groans and sighs coming from his mouth as he pushed inside of you, the stretch of him, the way he filled you to the brim and had your toes curling. His mouth was against your ear now, and you could hear every moan and whimper that came from his sweet lips as he rocked against you. Your nails were digging into his skin; if this was your last hurrah with him, you were going to leave a mark.

“Fuck,” he groaned, hips slamming into yours with delicious fervor, “sweetheart, I… Jesus…”

“Don’t stop,” you panted, kissing the side of his face, “don’t stop, don’t stop…”

Logan growled in your ear, and the noise alone (and the rhythmic slamming of his hips) was enough to put you over the edge. You came with his names on your lips, and Logan followed closely behind you, spilling into you with a shout.

He kissed you, slowly, as he pulled out. “How are you real?” He whispered.

You grinned, one hand going into his hair, playing with the thick strands. “How are you?” You asked back. You giggled when he answered you with a kiss. You were still short of breath, but you weren’t ready to sleep yet. “So…” You said, smiling up at Logan, “You said something about a pool…?”

“Did you bring a bathing suit?” He asked.

Your smile only widened. “Nope.”

“Perfect,” he grinned back, jumping up and grabbing a blanket. “Let’s go.”

“What are you—” You laughed in the middle of your sentence as Logan wrapped you up in the blanket. What kind of man had that kind of energy after an orgasm? Your—this kind of man, apparently. You let Logan lead you out of the suite and down the hall to the pool, only stopping to giggle at each other, shush each other, and make out along the way. It was, as Logan had previously said, a private pool, so no one else was there. It was huge, and the sound of the moving water echoed in the large space.

Logan dropped the blanket that had been wrapped around the both of you, showing how hard and ready he was. “Can you swim, superstar?”

You answered by jumping into the pool. Of course you could swim; your father had thrown you into the lake when you were a kid to win a bet with some of his friends. You’d had to swim or drown, so… You came up and grinned at Logan. He was staring down at you like you hung the sun. “Come on in,” you said, waving him in, “The water’s fine.”

“Not finer than you,” he grinned back before jumping in after you.

You giggled as he swam to you, his perfect hair and toned body dripping with water. He lifted you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You kissed him, your body molding against his, and you could feel his hands gripping your ass.

The two of you moved in tandem, hips rolling together in perfect sync as he carried you over to the wall of the pool. The brick felt warm against your back—or maybe that was just Logan. Your body felt hot and tingly every place he touched you, and you sighed, head leaned back as Logan kissed your neck. He was so close to you, but you wanted—needed—him closer. You didn’t say a word, but Logan heard you all the same. He slid into you, confident in the very correct fact that you were still wet from before, and you both moaned at the contact. Neither of you spoke, once again dissolving into sighs and moans as you moved together. Never had you had a lover like Logan, a man who could read you the way he did, who could make your toes curl with one thrust of his hips or flick of his wrists. He took his time with you, taking you to the heights of your pleasure before bringing you back down with kisses and soft touches along your body. The only thing you said were “yes” and “Logan”, and the only things he said were “so good”, “so perfect”, “baby, my baby”, and you closed your eyes, feeling Logan inside you and the water around you, and you, for a series of moments, forgot about all your problems: the bills, your shitty parents, the stress of running a household and raising five kids. You put all your focus on Logan, on making him feel as good as he made you feel, determined to show him how much his presence in your life meant to you—not just the suite and the cars and the nice food, but just… him.

You liked him.

And that was dangerous.

“Baby,” he whispered, voice echoing in the open pool, “I’m gonna cum, you feel so good…”

“Cum for me,” you growled, rocking your hips against his.

He dropped his head down, biting into your neck as he came, and you clenched around him, mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure as you came with him, eyes squeezed shut as the sensations hit you over and over again.

Logan sighed, putting his forehead on yours, and kissed you softly. He’d been kissing you like that for most of the night, soft and slow and careful and sweet. You liked it a lot, but you couldn’t let yourself get used to it. However, for one night, you could at least enjoy it. “Jesus, Y/N,” he said between kisses, “You keep doing shit like this, I might have to move you out to New York.”

You laughed. “My family in New York? Cameron would set the city on fire.”

“Hm…” Logan was staring at you now, dark eyes boring into yours with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead, he leaned over and kissed you again. “Let’s go shower all this chlorine off,” he said, kissing your neck, “and then after I fuck you there, I can fuck you in the bed…” He pulled back, eyes twinkling. “…Cause you’re spending the night, right?”

You put a finger on your chin and pretended to think. Logan kissed up your neck and across your face, making you laugh. “Okay, okay,” you giggled, “Yes—I’m spending the night!”

“Yay!” Logan cheered, bouncing up and down with you still in his arms, splashing water everywhere. “I knew my amazing cock would convince you!”

You laughed all the way back to the suite.

After your joint-shower, you spent the night in Logan’s arms, kissing and fucking and whispering to each other. The bed was huge, with an unbelievably soft mattress, feather-stuffed pillows, and silky sheets.

“So,” Logan had one hand behind his head, and the other on your back, rubbing up and down as you laid half-on top of him, “You don’t ever want to leave Chicago?”

“Nah,” your eyes were closed, and you got closer to sleep as Logan’s warm fingers caressed you, “This is my home.”

“Yeah, but… You’ve lived here your whole life, right?” He asked. You nodded against him. “Don’t you want to try something new?”

You frowned. Honestly, you hadn’t thought about leaving the city since you were a kid, and even then, it wasn’t so much about Chicago as it was your parents—and getting the hell away from them. “I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind trying something new…”

“When you were in high school,” Logan turned, one of his hands going to your waist to keep you close, “and you were getting all those scholarships and stuff and thinking about going to college, what did you want to study?”

You shrugged. “I knew I wasn’t going to be able to go…”

“Yeah, but if you had,” he prompted.

“I guess I would have studied business,” you answered, “I used to love my econ classes and business courses and stuff in high school…”

“New York has some of the best business programs in the world,” Logan said back.

“Mm hmm,” you snuggled closer to him, kissing his chest as he wrapped you up in his arms.

“You could still do it, y’know.”

“Do what?”

“Go to school, get a job in business…”

“And take care of the kids?” You would have rolled your eyes if they weren’t closed. “And the house? And Frank?”

“It’d be easier if you left Chicago…” Logan’s voice was starting to sound low and far away. “…There’s a lot more opportunities in New York, you could intern at Delos…”

You giggled. “Okay,” you said, “that’s nice, but I’m gonna pass out now, okay?” You felt Logan kiss the top of your head, and you sighed contently into his chest.

“Just think about it,” he said, rubbing your back again.

You wanted to ask ‘think about what’, but you were too tired and happily worn-out to speak anymore, so instead, you just let Logan’s soft touch lull you to sleep.

Tomorrow, you’d go back to reality, but tonight… You’d enjoy Logan and what you had with him while you had him. All this talk about families and jobs and New York made you realize something…

…Logan would only be in town for a few more weeks, what time you had left with him was already running out. He’d finish up his business in Chicago and then… He’d be gone.

*******************************************************************************************

Let me know what you guys think! I got a lot of inspiration for this one from Season 1 Fiona/Steve.... ah, the good ol days. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Taglist: @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily @suchatinyinfinity@fanfictionrecommendations-com  @maxslime-blog @elanor-of-imladris @songforhema @lucielandss @fandomlifeandeverythingelse @themadhatter92@realduckvader @the-blind-assassin-12 @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @littlemermaidprobz @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @teacuplotus @iaintnofurry @thesumofmychoices @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @whovianayesha @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear@king4thesirens @starkrobb @marauderskeeper @charlylama I also realized I haven’t been tagging @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor @binbons-is-theloml Sorry guys!

TLI Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed from this list): @blamebritney @absentmindeduniverse @songtoyou @haslett627@saltyshaggymeme @traeumerinwitzhelden

[ask-mingle]

A little something for @ask-star-singer Uncensored version here: https://inkbunny.net/s/1969558 https://twitter.com/AskMingle/status/1170716311628013569 Since we were talking about a possible scenarios in Dark Souls 3 me, and him could go through (but never did, for technical reasons XP ), and that was very inspiring. As a bonus, I decided to exercise my writing skills, and made a little erotic fanfic. You can read it, if You want, and let me know, should I do things like that from time to time, or should I never, ever do it again X3 But beware, if You never played any of the Dark Souls games (especially the third one), You may get very lost and confused, as I’m using in-game vocabulary, and terms. Mingle was getting a bit irritated. She died trice already, always waking up near this one bonfire of the Central Irithyll. Once by the hands of the burning-stake witch, surprising her with a tower of flame, rising from underneath her. Once she got overwhelmed by a bunch of some sort of undead slaves, surrounding her, and striking her with several greatswords. But the last time was the worst. She got past the beautiful, snowy square with the fountain, just to be invaded by some asshole with a fat-looking, covered partially with fur armor. He was clearly stronger than her, toying with her, making insulting gestures, and throwing knives at her. He finally finished her with a backstab, but not before groping her in a disgusting manner, squeezing her breast, and pressing her butt against his legs.

She took a moment to calm herself down after this unpleasant incident. The worst thing was – a part of her actually welcomed this erotic touch. She was traveling alone for such a long time, without taking breaks to… please herself, and her body just missed any caress at all. She collected her thoughts, determined and motivated. She can do it now. She will press forward, kill all the enemies, and find another bonfire. Mingle was sure of that. She just needed a little boost of health, so she stood up, and cracked an Ember in her hands. She felt strength flowing through her, and little burning flames started to dance on her elegant dress. She was ready to pick her sword, and march on, but then something caught her attention. A name written in glowing gold, right next to a bonfire. She was curious. That was not a typical placement for a summon sign. She just defeated an enormous skeleton engulfed in darkness, and a giant, wild beast defending the bridge. She did not expected another big adversary so soon. This would mean whoever left this sign, just wanted to help others, by guiding them through this place, and she found it very admirable, and sort of cute. She got on her knees, and gently stroked glowing letters, with her fingertips. The inscription read: “StarSinger”.

The flash of light came out of the sign, and she stared in awe, as from it, a well-built warrior with an angelic wings on his back arose, standing up, hands outstretched to the sky. When the glow disappeared, she immediately realized, that he was not enveloped in the golden aura, and she could see his features clearly. He must have been wearing an Untrue Dark Ring, which was yet another courtesy from him. In case they were invaded by anyone, he can act as a decoy, so their adversary will stay unsure, which one of them is a host – a much more rewarding pray, and which is the summon. This warrior already impressed her with his kindness, even if she saw him for just a few seconds, and they didn’t even set off yet. The face of the stranger was also very handsome, and he had a warm, welcoming smile.

They looked at each other for a longer moment, her mouth slightly opened in awe, and his eyes set on her face. They shifted a bit, presumably to get a better look at her, and then she saw his expression changing to the one, of a slight timidness, and a delicate blush popping on his cheek. She suddenly realized that she’s still on her knees, right in front of him, with her face almost at his crotch, staring with her lips half opened. And even worse than that, when she lowered her gaze in shame, she noticed that her nipples – erected from the cold of this snowy land, and a recent touch, were clearly visible from underneath her black, not fitted to accommodate the size of her breasts, blouse. She suddenly felt naked in front of this magnificent Warrior of Sunlight, and that excited, and aroused her even more. There was no denying it. She was horny, and wanted this stallion. Mingle opened her mouth wide, and let out a weak plea: - Take me! But seeing confusion on Star’s face, she remembered that voice does not travel across the different worlds, and she can’t communicate like that with her summon. So she closed her eyes, and started unbuttoning her shirt. For a moment a knight before her looked very abashed, and reached out with one hand, trying to stop her, but before he could, her blouse opened wide, letting her large breasts out, swaying slightly, and gracefully. That stopped him, and he retreated his arm, smiling. She dropped her eyes, below his waist, and saw a bulge, suggesting that the view was very pleasant to him. Mingle was really fascinated by this bulge. She tried to trace it down his leg, with her eyes, but it never seemed to end. At least not above the knee. She reached out with her hands touching it, which made it even stiffer. She couldn’t hold it any longer, grabbed his pants with both her hands, and slid them down. His stallionhood jumped up slapping her in her breast, on the way up to stop right in front of her surprised face. Star looked down a bit embarrassed, but then she took his cock in her both hands, starting to kiss, and lick it. She was quick, and passionate, while drawing circles with her tongue on his shaft, and he felt that pleasure is weakening his posture, so he swiftly drove his weapon into the stone floor they were standing on, and leaned on the giant shield, he carried with him, relaxing. It was a signal for Mingle to do whatever she wanted, so she opened her mouth wide, and put the end of his stallionhood inside, sucking, and moving her head back and forth. She was now so aroused, that she started playing with her own breasts. Star couldn’t see it, but she got all wet kneeling down, and pleasuring him. So much, that her juices started dripping on the cold stone tiles below her. She was out of control, and unable to stop. Star felt the pleasure building up, so he tried to slow her down, aware, that she can’t hear his moans, but then she pushed her head towards his body in one, strong move, forcing his entire shaft down her throat. He couldn’t bear this any longer, and came. Mingle felt her entire throat, and mouth being filled with warm, viscous substance. She tried to swallow whole, but there was just so much, that she pulled back, and a serving of sticky, white stuff landed on her lips, boobs, and dress.

She stood up, and bowed, thankful, and satisfied for just being able to serve this noble knight. But he noticed a wet stain on her skirt, and a small pool she left on the ground. He smiled. This warrior will not let her go, without making her come too. He approached her, placed a small kiss on her cheek, and then took a step backward, his cock still hard (apparently his journey was as long, and lonely as Mingle’s), and pointed his finger. Down at the stained floor first, and then moved it up, to her private parts. Her eyes widen, and a strong blush flooded her face, but she obediently reached down, and lifted her skirt up, exposing her naked marehood. It’s juices were dripping, and flowing down her legs. Star got even more excited, and so he got down on her, and started licking her. If he could hear her, he would know, how much pleasure he gave her. Mingle let out loud moans, but he didn’t stopped, until her legs started shaking, unable to support her anymore. He stood up, and turned her over, lifting her skirt up, and rubbing his stallionhood, against her buttcheeks. She quickly grabbed his Zwihander, sticking out of the ground, since she knew, she would not be able to support herself any longer. She barely did it, when she felt a long, warm shaft entering her marehood. She was so wet it went in quite easily, and the pleasure filled her entire body. She could barely maintain consciousness, when Star was pounding her from behind, holding her waist tightly, and thrusting his cock deeply into her. The never-ending Irithyll’s night bore witness as this warrior of the Sun mingled with the knightess of the DarkMoon, for a longer time, until they both were satisfied with an united, powerful orgasm, which filled air of Mingle’s world with a loud moan, and heavy panting.

This night later saw them setting off, carving their way through this abandoned city’s streets with their blades. Their worked well together, slashing enemies gracefully, and in unison, almost as if they were dancing together. His greatshield, and wings, always covered her, when she needed to take a sip of her Estus flask, and she always protected his back, with wide, frosty sweeps of her blade, whenever surrounding them adversaries got too close. He showed her the path, and all the secrets he knew of, leading right up, to the massive, beautiful church. She followed him, and from the stairs, she could already see the warm, orange glow of the bonfire – a goal, she was set on reaching. When entering through the main door, she saw inside another unkindled knight, her acquaintance, she met along the way, leaning against the wall. It seemed like a safe place to part ways. She looked back at Star, longingly, a bit sad, that their adventure is coming to an end. He probably read her thought, and possibly felt the same way, but it was time for them to part. So he took her hand, and kissed it, as it was the most fitting farewell for a noble knight, to give to a lady like her. But before he left he discretely pointed on stone statues that were stocked in the corner of the room, and rotated his hand, to give it a thumb down. A clear warning. He outstretched his body, and once again, lifted his arms way up, to the skies, praising the Sun, that was unable to reach this place, and disappeared in black, smoky swirl of the separation crystal, returning to his own world. Mingle looked at the corner of the room, squeezing a handle of her sword tight. She was ready to venture forth, alone again, and face whatever comes her way. But in her heart, she hoped, that maybe, even thought it was unlikely, she one day will once again come across a golden summon sign with a name, she will not forget, as long as she won’t turn hollow.

[theonyxpath]

Art for Book of the Fallen by Vincent Locke

The title may say “Monday Meeting Notes” because, well, it’s Monday and that’s what we do!

But it’s a lie.

There was no Monday Meeting this week.

Now that I’ve established myself as an unreliable narrator, what will you do? How can you trust that the information I’m bringing you is accurate? I’m even questioning myself at this point! It probably should have said “Monday Musings by Dixie” or something. I honestly have no idea how Rich does one of these every week.

Anyway…

Book of the Fallen art by Drew Tucker

Hi, this is Dixie! As I said, there was no Monday meeting this week because Gen Con just wrapped up and everyone is either traveling, on vacation, or didn’t volunteer to have a 2-4 person meeting in which we couldn’t do much without the rest of the team (a wise choice, no? We’re rather wise). Rich will be back next week with a full update, much as we did for UK Games Expo a few months back, but until then they’ve (unwisely, probably) left me in charge with no oversight. I say this week is “aberrant” because many folks were out of the office, but also because of the Aberrant Kickstarter funding! More on that later.

As most of you know from previous blogs, we didn’t have a booth at Gen Con this year, but that was a very intentional choice, and shouldn’t be seen as a negative indicator of anything. We did have books for sale at both Studio 2 and IPR, and we did some panels! The members of the team who did go had a chance to attend more meetings and panels, as well as roam the floor a bit more to reach out to folks. (I didn’t go, but I bought a t-shirt and buttons in D.C., played some video games, did a cool playtest with some friends, and didn’t have to walk around in Indianapolis in the summer, so…)

Matt McElroy (sorry, Rich, I can’t bring myself to do the nicknames. I just can’t. That’s your thing.) sent along some photos from the show, so here’s a little slice of Gen Con

A display of Onyx Path books at Studio 2! Look at all the Scion! Those banners! Cats and dogs living together! Changeling: The Lost and Scarred Lands! So much!

The Wrecking Crew running some demos!

They also saw a few of our Onyx Path artists!

Hello, Priscilla! (I have a print of that Scarlet Empress piece from Exalted and it’s divine. (No pun intended until after I typed it.)

It’s Steve Ellis! He’s worked on a few lines for us, including Scion: Hero! (No one gave me a list! I’m trying!)

Claudio Pozas has also worked on quite a few things for us, including the terrifying goat-thing piece from Adventures for Curious Cats, the first book I developed! Thanks for being so talented, Claudio!

Darker Days Radio recorded our What’s Up With Onyx Path? panel and you can listen to it here:

The other super-cool thing that happened last week aside from Gen Con was that Trinity Continuum: Aberrant funded! We ended at $125,098, or 312% of our funding target! Once we get BackerKit set up we’ll be posting links here, I’m sure, but until then here are some of the stretch goals we unlocked via the campaign:

N!WE N!TERNATIONAL WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT – A new PDF product discussing the N!WE, the performers and industry personnel, and various elements of professional wrestling in the world of Aberrant.

PROTEUS NOVA COMPENDIUM SECTIONS 1-3 – A new PDF product, with stat blocks for many characters featured in bio write-ups in the Trinity Continuum: Aberrant book. All backers receiving the PDF version of Trinity Continuum: Aberrant will have this automatically added to their rewards list. 

ABERRANT NOVELLA – A short story set in the world of Aberrant, highlighting the world and characters.

ART BUDGET INCREASE – Additional funds will be allocated to the art budget, adding more amazing and incredible art to the Trinity Continuum: Aberrant  book.

NOVAS WORLDWIDE 1-3 – Introductory scenarios, designed to jumpstart a longer chronicle.

IN-GAME FICTION –  Duke Rollo, direct and uncensored journalist of the world of Aberrant is back with more irreverent insights into the ironies of life in a nova-loving world. A new essay will be released as a PDF.

Not final design!

That’s SO MUCH, and that’s only a few of them. I can’t wait to see what all we do with Aberrant. Congratulations to Steve Kenson, Ian A. A. Watson, Eddy Webb, and the rest of the amazing Aberrant team! If you are unfamiliar with the world, here is an actual play we did over the past couple of weeks:

Additionally, if you like that sort of thing, we are streaming more and more via Twitch at https://ift.tt/2YeJZ07. Come say hi! We’ve been doing actual plays, interviews, and even a live Pathcast! Hit that follow button so you get notified whenever we go live.

Art by Alex Sheikman for Dark Eras 2!

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

I already talked about Aberrant‘s amazing wrap up above, but keep an eye out for the Deviant: The Renegades Kickstarter when it launches! (I’m personally very excited for that one, for obvious reasons: It’s a brand-new line launched with me as the Chronicles of Darkness in-house developer! Also Eric and Dave have done amazing work, along with all the writers. I’m waiting with bated breath for the art to start rolling in.)

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is all about our good and bad experiences in games, as well as stumbles and misses we may have had here or there.

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

Our Twitch channel has been alive with content over the last week, and you can find it right here:  https://www.twitch.tv/theonyxpath So many of our fans and customers have been engaging with the livestreams we’ve been running through the channel, and we’re so grateful for your involvement in everything we’ve been doing. If you missed any of the episodes of Collateral Damage, the interviews with Dixie Cochran, Matthew Dawkins, Eddy Webb, or the live Onyx Pathcast, or indeed any of the other videos we’ve put up, do not despair! Those videos have all been migrated to YouTube so you can watch them again. Again, our channel is here: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheOnyxPath

You can also find the latest episode of the Onyx Path News on our channel right here: https://youtu.be/V3X1qt3qSoU

And here’s part three of our Wraith: The Oblivion chronicle prologue: https://youtu.be/8q88qC39IhI

In other news, here’s the Story Told Podcast continuing with their Exalted actual play: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-episode-11

And for the love of all that is Exalted, check out Beanduck‘s show right here: https://www.twitch.tv/beanduck

Occultists Anonymous will soon be going up on our channel, but until then, here’s episodes 32 and 33 of their Mage: The Awakening chronicle.

Episode 32: Speaking With Graves – Who is this young woman at the bar? Where is Mr. Johnson?! Is this Demesne going to be a problem?!? All will be answered…maybe. https://youtu.be/_jE9fM2O2PA

Episode 33: Trigger Pull – Mammon picks up Beck from the airport and tries to make up for lost time together. Songbird reaches out to an Obrimos mentor to compare notes. Atratus tries to look after Wyrd the Seer, but Wyrd has other ideas… https://youtu.be/_DEJ6XZdGfk

Twin Cities by Night continues with their Chronicles of Darkness actual play and a whole bunch of other non-Onyx-Path games you might want to check out: https://twincitiebynight.podbean.com/

Don’t forget Caffeinated Conquests is running The Sacrifice from Chicago by Night using V20 rules over here: https://www.youtube.com/user/CafConIsOn/videos

Drop Matthew a message via the contact button on matthewdawkins.com if you have actual plays, reviews, or game overviews you want us to profile on the blog!

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And NOW Scion Origin and Scion Hero are available to order!

Running RIGHT NOW until August 11 is the Dog Days Of Summer Sale! 50% many of our Deluxe Editions!

As always, you can find most of Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’re putting the PDF of Heroes for the World on sale, which is the collection of ready-made characters for Scion Second Edition!

Conventions!

Save Against Fear: October 12th – 14th GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

W20 Art Book (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad (Scarred Lands)

Vigil Watch (Scarred Lands)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Development

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Manuscript Approval

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Geist 2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Editing

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

TC: Aeon Ready-Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Post-Editing Development

Memento Mori (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e Companion)

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Indexing

ART DIRECTION FROM MIKE CHANEY!

In Art Direction

Contagion Chronicle – Art buy configured. Notes getting configured.

VtR Spilled Blood – All the art that is in is approved. Felipe is working on stuff.

Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds

Trinity Continuum Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Ex3 Lunars

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Contracted

TCfBtS!: Heroic Land Dwellers

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties – Gonna just get Michele to do this one

DR:E Jumpstart – Sam Denmark is doing this.

Deviant for KS – Contracted.

In Layout

M20 Book of the Fallen – Files with Josh

CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel

Dark Eras 2 – Files with Aileen

Proofing

Shunned By the Moon – Errata gathering.

Aeon Aexpansion

C20 Cup of Dreams

V5: Chicago – Backer PDF sent, errata coming in

Geist 2e

Signs of Sorcery – Inputting errata.

At Press

Dragon Blooded – Deluxe at Studio2, shipping after Gen Con.

Dragon-Blooded Cloth Map – At Studio2, shipping after Gen Con.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – Shipped to Studio2, shipping after Gen Con.

Trinity Core Screen – At Studio2.

TC Aeon Screen – At Studio2.

Book of Oblivion – PoD proofs coming.

Trinity: In Media Res – PoD proofs coming.

Scion Ready-Made Characters – PoD proofs coming, out this week in PDF.

Trinity Core – Files uploaded to printer, waiting for proofs.

Trinity Aeon – Files uploaded to printer, waiting for proofs.

DR: E – final PDF off for approval

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

The stress and excitement of Gen Con is over for the time being and we can start working on PAX Unplugged, Save Against Fear, and all the rest! Also Gen Con looks as if it was a great success for us, our fans, and our freelancers. (Additionally, Rich and Eddy are on vacation, and I hope they’re having a grand time! That said, Eddy needs to come back so I can ping him with ridiculous things on Skype throughout the day.)

If you went to Gen Con this year, what was your favorite thing there? If you didn’t go, what announcements did you enjoy or what do you hope to do there in the future? Tell us in the comments!

[wrestlingisfake]

Double or Nothing preview

Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho - The winner of this match will face the winner of the Casino Battle Royale at a later date to determine the first AEW world champion.  Interestingly, Jericho is scheduled to challenge for the IWGP heavyweight championship on June 9, and this match may indirectly affect that one.

This is a rematch from Wrestle Kingdom 12, where Jericho began his sudden shift from “I’ll never wrestle anywhere besides WWE” to “I can be the Brock Lesnar of New Japan.”  Neither man has had a match since Wrestle Kingdom 13 earlier this year, where Omega lost the IWGP heavyweight title in the main event, and Jericho lost the IWGP intercontinental title in the semi-main. 

Jericho’s character outside of WWE has been a leathery weirdo brawler, whose services are highly valued by promoters even though he’s totally uncontrollable.  He’s randomly ambushed several top names in New Japan, and he seems to be gunning for Cody Rhodes down the line, but his recurring nemesis is Omega.  The general idea is that Omega entered the “greatest of all time” conversation with his six-star performances in 2017, and that puts a target on him for legends like Jericho that want to make a statement.  Omega defeated Jericho at Wrestle Kingdom 12, then Jericho shockingly attacked him at All In, then Omega’s team defeated Jericho’s team during Jericho’s wrestling cruise, and then Jericho attacked Omega again at AEW’s February 7 media event.

This is basically the biggest match AEW can present at this point.  It’s a rematch from the Tokyo Dome, featuring the biggest current star who’s never been to WWE and the biggest ex-WWE star they could sign.  In some ways it’s a coup they could put this together in a US show, but in other ways I’m disappointed that AEW couldn’t come up with something hotter.  18 months after his first NJPW vignette, the challenge for AEW is to prove Jericho still has mileage as a 48-year-old resident legend, and not just as an occasional special attraction.  Luckily, Jericho is keenly aware of this stuff and pretty good at finding ways to keep himself over, so hopefully this match will set up a good direction for him.

I tend to think Omega should win here, but Jericho is coming in with a pretty shitty win-loss record, considering he’s been set up as the top heel in the company.  A win for Jericho would add momentum to the angle that he thinks he’s singlehandedly put AEW on the map, and set up more matches down the line.  Then again, Omega is the actual ace of the promotion, and needs to be protected as such.  So I’m expecting a creative finish, but I don’t know which guy will win.

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Penta El 0M & Rey Fenix - The Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) are defending the AAA tag team championship.  This feud started with the Lucha Bros. showing up at an AEW press conference, taking exception to the Bucks calling themselves the greatest tag team.  This led to the Bucks flying all over the place to ambush the Lucha Bros. at various indie shows.  Finally, when the Lucha Bros. won the AAA tag title at Rey de Reyes, the Bucks suddenly showed up for an impromptu title match and won the belts.

It’s worth noting that a rematch for the title has already been booked for AAA’s Verano de Escándalo on June 16.  So the outcome of this match won’t have much impact on which team ends up with the belts in the long run.  With that in mind, the logical outcome is for the Bucks to win to establish them as the benchmark for the strong tag team division they’ve been promising.  Penta and Fenix aren’t enhancement talent by any means, though, so I could see them scoring a win on the Bucks’ turf.  But until the Lucha Bros. put a ring on it and sign with AEW, it would be risky to put them over.  I’m leaning towards the Bucks retaining.

Cody Rhodes vs. Dustin Rhodes - Dustin, 50, is the son of wrestling legend Dusty Rhodes and his first wife, Sandra; Cody, 33, is Dusty’s son by his second wife, Michelle.  This is virtually a direct follow-up to their match at WWE Fast Lane 2015 (as Stardust and Goldust), which had been the closest they’d come to their dream of doing the match at a Wrestlemania.  A year later, Cody left WWE to begin a meteoric rise in the non-WWE scene, leading to his leadership role in AEW.  Once it became clear Dustin was leaving WWE, it was obvious he would end up here.

Dustin delivered a strong video package about needing to prove he’s still got it, and wanting to settle old scores with Cody.  Cody cut an intense promo likening Dustin and his era with Old Yeller, suggesting he has to put Dustin down because he loves him.  You can debate the wisdom of indulging in this storyline at a pivotal point in AEW’s beginnings, but you cannot argue that both men as fully committed to proving it can work.  Hopefully that results in some killer storytelling and a good match.  I have to think Cody wins here, and the brothers hug and Dustin ends up with a backstage job or something.

PAC vs. Hangman Page - ...already happened, so I guess you can watch that here.  The match on this card had to be cancelled.  The angle is that Page was so hype to fight Pac that he went to an indie show in England to do the match a week early.  Pac intentionally got disqualified and then pillmanized Page’s knee; he claimed he only wanted the Double or Nothing match to injure Page, but since he’d already succeeded with that he wouldn’t be coming to this show.  I suspect this match was intended to determine a participant in the match to crown the first AEW world champion, since Page has been talking about wanting that spot for months. 

As of this writing, AEW hasn’t announced what Page will be doing on this show, or even if he’s kayfabe recovered enough from the knee attack to have a match  This could be trouble, because it leaves fans to imagine all sorts of crazy surprise opponents that the company may not be able to deliver.  Already people have been actively speculating about CM Punk (the Dave Chappelle of wrestling), Jon Moxley (formerly WWE’s Dean Ambrose), and Joey Ryan (who had a farcical feud with Page last year).  How AEW handles this mess will leave a lasting first impression with fans, particularly fans like me who’ve seen all the stupid things WWE would do in this situation.

Britt Baker vs. Nyla Rose vs. Kylie Rae - This is a three-way match, so the first woman to score a fall over either opponent will be declared the winner.  Baker is probably best known as the wrestling dentist from the four-way match at All In last year.  Rose made headlines as the first trans woman signed to a major wrestling company, and I’ve just learned she starred in a Canadian sitcom a few years ago, playing a computer programmer, which is an interesting contrast from her “Native Beast” wrestling persona.  Rae is relatively less known, but she’s a smiley happy character in the vein of Bayley, and she’s from Chicago so I know who I’m rooting for.

Unfortunately I think the big story in this match is whether the live audience will accept Nyla, or if a bunch of jerks try to start transphobic chants or something.  I think the hardcore AEW audience is cool about it, but there’s just no way to know until she goes through the curtain.

Of these three, Baker seems to be the one they’re pushing as the face of the division, which may make her the favorite.  But the fact it’s a three-way with nothing tangible at stake makes this one hard to call.

Christopher Daniels & Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian vs. CIMA & T-Hawk & El Lindaman - Daniels’s team is SoCal Uncensored, which has become something of an underground sensation via their sing-along catchphrases and Being the Elite skits.  Cima’s team represents a faction called Strong Hearts, consisting of the wrestlers who joined him in leaving Dragon Gate to found Oriental Wrestling Entertainment in Shanghai. 

OWE is one of several attempts to expand the wrestling industry into the lucrative Chinese market--AEW is clearly partnering with them to cultivate Chinese talent and a Chinese audience.  Note, however, that Cima, T-Hawk, and Lindaman are Japanese, not Chinese; the Chinese wrestlers they’ve been training will presumably appear in the future.  This match seems to be less about China than about getting OWE over with the AEW audience, and acknowledging the influence Cima has had in the careers of wrestlers like Daniels and the Young Bucks.

If you weren’t paying attention to ROH last year, you might be surprised how hot SCU has become with the kind of fans that’ll be at this show.  When I went to All In I was prepared for the sea of Bullet Club shirts and constant Elite chants, but the response to anything SCU did was far more intense.  They really should win here, although there may be a plan to use them to establish the Strong Hearts as a force to be reckoned with.  It’ll really depend on how often Cima and the OWE guys are planning on flying out to do these shows.

Aja Kong & Yuka Sakazaki & Emi Sakura vs. Hikaru Shida & Riho & Ryo Mizunami - Kong is legendary monster heel, whose career goes back over 30 years.  As for the others, I don’t have much info on them.  My impression is that this match is designed to help introduce joshi (Japanese women’s wrestling) to the west, which would suggest the younger participants in this match (Sakazaki, Shida, Riho, and Mizunami) will be groomed for long-term roles in the company.  From what I’ve heard, Kenny Omega wants AEW to spotlight Japanese women as a unique attraction, similar to how WCW used cruiserweights and luchadors back in the day.  It’s a clever move, since the other US promotions have male Japanese stars, but joshi is still rather obscure in the west.  On Being the Elite they’ve played up Kenny Omega’s history with Riho, so I guess I have to pick her team to win.

Chuck Taylor & Trent Beretta vs. Jack Evans & Angelico - Chuck and Trent are the Best Friends, who were on the verge of breaking up when we last saw them in New Japan.  Evans is one of the original big names from the super-indy days in the early 2000s.  Angelico has been teaming with Evans in AAA, Lucha Underground, PWG, and elsewhere.  The Young Bucks have talked a big game about making the tag team division more important in AEW than in other promotions, but matches like this one will determine if they’re really serious about any tag teams but themselves.  I can’t decide which team should win, but I’ve got a soft spot for the Best Friends so I’m rooting for ‘em.

Casino Battle Royale - This is a 21-person gauntlet battle royal match, scheduled for the pre-show, where the winner will qualify to for a future match to determine the first AEW world champion.  Typically this kind of match starts with two participants in the ring, and each additional participant enters every 90 seconds or so.  The twist here is that five participants will start, and every three minutes another five enter the match.  The final entrant, being “lucky 21,” gets to enter alone, meaning only one person will have that “freshest person in the match” advantage.

The rules for elimination have not been specified, so I assume it’ll be the standard rules for most battle royales.  After entering the match, a participant will be eliminated if they exit the ring over the top rope and both of their feet touch the floor.  Participants can avoid elimination by stalling their entry into the ring, or by exiting the ring under the top rope, or by going over the top and keeping one foot off the floor until they can re-enter.  Eliminations can occur at any point in the match, before and after the last participant has entered.  The last person left in the match after everyone else has been eliminated is declared the winner.

Confirmed entrants for the match include:

Ace Romero (the big fat dude from MLW)

Billy Gunn (he’s an ass man, womp womp)

Brandon Cutler (the Young Bucks’ old buddy from PWG)

Brian Pillman, Jr. (the son of the “loose cannon” from WCW/WWF)

Dustin Thomas (a guy with no legs who impressed everyone at Joey Janela’s Spring Break recently)

Glacier (the Mortal Kombat guy from WCW...yes, that Glacier)

Isiah Kassidy (one half of the tag team Private Party)

Jimmy Havoc (an edgelord from the British indie scene)

Joey Janela (sleazy guy from GCW that does the Spring Break shows)

Jungle Boy (Luke Perry’s son doing a Tarzan gimmick) 

Luchasaurus (a guy who seems to be neither a luchador nor a dinosaur)

Marq Quen (the other half of Private Party)

Michael Nakazawa (Kenny Omega’s old buddy from DDT)

MJF (obnoxious preppie douchebag from MLW)

Shawn Spears (WWE’s Tye Dillinger/Cody’s old buddy from OVW)

Sonny Kiss (formerly XO Lishus in Lucha Underground)

Sunny Daze (scary weird guy that makes Bray Wyatt look like Mr. Rogers...okay, I’ll admit that’s not a very helpful comparison right now, but you get the drift)

???

???

???

???

That leaves four spots remaining as of this writing.  Knowing AEW, those spots could go to some of the guys who are signed but not booked (like Darby Allin or Peter Avalon) or to total unknowns, or to giant surprise stars.  It is entirely possible some women could be added to the match.

Obviously that “lucky 21” spot is perfectly suited for a big surprise entrant to shockingly debut, run wild, and win the whole thing.  However, since this match is for the pre-show, I don’t see them blowing their wad on a really big surprise.  On the other hand, the winner of this match has to be a credible contender for their world championship, so they can’t just give it to Joey Ryan or whoever.  This is where you really start wondering if Jon Moxley is available.

Sammy Guevera vs. Kip Sabian - The opening match, to air on the pre-show.  Guevera is a former AAA crusierweight champion.  Sabian has held the IPW:UK championship, and based on the limited data I can find for that title, he may well still be the champion.  Considering how much of this card consists of wrestlers I literally never heard of until they were booked for this show, it says something that these two are so obscure they’re in the opener.  But that’s to be expected when starting a promotion from scratch.  Hopefully they both give us a reason to care who they are.

[gaudeixcc]

Peloton news. G20 – the Pyrenees

A much more reasonable start to this year’s tour. No crazy-early alarm clocks, just a nice trip to the airport with only hand-luggage and a gently grumbling Macca.

Our favourite plane man had unbeknownst to me fired a very early warning shot regarding our mode of transfer on arrival in France.

At 5.50am, whilst shooting the breeze on my couch, McEvoy had enquired as to whom I’d booked the hire car with. The one which would take us to resort.

‘I dunno….it’s on the App’ sayeth I.

I had a quick look. Whoever the third party was, they had a stunning 6.5 out of 10 rating. Not quite M&S levels of service, granted, but still it’s on a trusted App, we are only using it to transfer, I’ve got insurance, it’s France for fucks sake. It’ll be quiet and I’m a capable and experienced driver…. Well, we’ll come back to that last bit shortly.

We get to Gatwick with ColMac and Drip in tow and await the arrival of HRH.

The first of many 2019 tour errors soon became massively apparent.

We’ve got two gingers on the trip. Fuck. How on earth did that get through the vetting process? I sent my beloved co-chair a text

‘JT, I’m at LGW. We’ve got problems…..’

Before too long Drip and HRH are bonded in conversation which carried over onto the flight. By the time we were at 30,000 feet they were each answering the others questions before they had even been asked. It was like listening to 2 people taking it in turn to read out just the answers on a bunch of Trivial pursuit cards.

Macca whispered to me whilst transfixed by this sight. ‘What’s happening over there?’

‘They are becoming one Macca, they are becoming one’.

By the time we had landed things had progressed further. They were now communicating with eyes closed with just index fingers lightly touching. Silence. Occasionally dripping would meow.

When we got to Toulouse we started the hunt for the hire car counter. The twin gingers (Twinge?) followed gently behind in a glowing orange aura.

Whilst all this was going on, I’d failed to notice that Macca had entered a worrying (and just about controlled) mental meltdown.

‘Where’s the hire car counter…? It’s off-site isn’t it… remote.. we’ll need to get a bus… not even in the terminal…what were they called again?’ he blurted out in staccato perfection.

‘er…. Gold cars’… sounded good to me. What could go wrong when you’ve got Gold in your company name?

Within minutes we were at the Gold counter waiting to be served.

Macca had moved to DefCon level ‘Blind-Frenzy’.

He’d got straight onto his iPhone and had a full list of every negative customer review for Gold cars. I’m in the queue and he’s jabbing the phone at me and saying ‘look’ in a high-pitched squeal, ‘Maureen from Romford….. she’s 97… and this is how they treat our British citizens..!!’

‘They’re going to sell us extra insurance and then steal all our money’.

At this point I was starting to lose my legendary zen-like calm.

Macca connected with his iPhone again and dialled up a quote for a Hertz rental car equivalent.

‘Look, we could have had this one’… and with that, he was gone. Off to the Hertz counter.

I queued quietly on my own. Drip had temporarily disconnected from the Twinge umbilical cord and was trying to locate Macca to gently nudge him toward the exit.

Right, I thought… time to get this car booked and get the hell out of dodge.

My turn came and I presented myself at the counter with my usual finesse. My mouth opened to speak and just as I was about to wish the nice lady a very good morning Macca arrived on my shoulder, phone gripped in fist and launches a barked question at the unsuspecting clerk.

‘WHY DOES YOUR COMPANY HAVE SO MANY BAD REVIEWS?’

‘WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAREEN!?’

Macca was metaphorically wrestled to the ground by airport security and tied to the nearest pillar using clingfilm and then gently tasered… (this was how my mind was dealing with the situation at any rate).

The rest of the mini-peloton looked onward in apathetic bemusement. None of them gave a flying fuck about the arrangements on the basis that if it all went wrong, I’d be the one getting all the shit and would subsequently have to get us out of the hole I’d dug.

3 pairs of peloton eyes would say ‘your name on the form, your fucking problem sunshine’.

Anyhoo… after the drama of the hire car counter (which went perfectly smoothly), we picked up the car (which went perfectly smoothly), and got ourselves in and ready to go (smooth… perfectly).

I then started to drive. Dear fucking god where the hell has my driving ability gone?

I tried to change gear twice with the door handle and got completely befuddled with the clutch before a near impalement with a coach at the very first roundabout.

There was a flurry of uncensored ginger telepathic communication in the back seat which I am sure ended with Drip saying to HRH ‘if he kills us now, I want you to know I love you’.

At one point early on in the journey, I drifted the car toward the right (something I’d done subconsciously, I suspect in an attempt to place my body in the middle of the road).

I had started to edge us toward an 18-wheeler in the next lane. I could see HRH in the rear-view mirror edging in to the middle of the car whilst breathlessly mouthing ‘watch out’.

White-knuckled hands gripped the wheel as I steadied myself. Drip, after further telepathic liaison with HRH suggested we listen to some music. No sooner thought than done, HRH racked up some impressive tune-age on the multi-media and we settled in to our journey to the Pyrenees.

Now this particular hire car was blessed with a behemoth-like engine of 1.0 litres of petrol frugality. Barely enough power to progress much past a standstill. With 70 stone of Peloton meat and gravy aboard, the thing struggled. The useless fucking clutch had zero feel and as the engine generated the mechanical momentum of a spinning 5p piece, so stalling was a regular occurrence.

4 of the 5 car inhabitants saw stalling not as a consequence of a shit car and 5 fat blokes, but more as an aching lack of talent on my part.

Worst was yet to come.

We entered resort and got to within 25 yards of destination when a tricky hill-start was required. Handbrake on, gentle rise of revs, I’ve got this. I’ve got this…..I didn’t have this.

I was about as far from having this as you can get whilst remaining in the same country.

The engine squealed, the clutch slipped, massively. NWA was turned down on Spotify and all we were left with was the stench of burning clutch.

I had a sinking feeling that I’d properly fucked the hire car.

Anyway, announcing your arrival in a plume of melted friction plates is how we rolled in team Gold car.

Greetings aside, quick sit down and then to the job of bicycling.

And so we return to the annual highlights list. A snap-shot of the rides and the riding from this year’s Grande Tour. But before we get to that, some stats.

The Rides

• Day 1. Lac d’estainge. Shortest ride at 32k but 3rd for overall ride gradient. • Day 2. Col des Tentes. A punchy 96k but a bit bleak on arrival at top • Day 3. Tourmalet. 101k. Great ending with really steep gradient for the last few hundred meters. You can see why it’s used on the tour so often. Fairly bleak riding through the town halfway up. Unrelenting 2 hours of climbing at over 8%. Brutal. Sensational ride home though through some beautiful countryside though • Day 4. Col d’Aubisque via Col du Soulor. Probably the ride of the tour in terms of utterly breath-taking scenery. Beautifully ribboned and freshly tarmacked road on the ascent, which I spent all my time on just thinking about the future descent. And then a jaw-dropping ride along a precipitous drop all the way to the top of Aubisque. A hard slog. Particularly on Soulor when a mid-teens ramp halfway up punches you right in the kidneys and jabs you in the eye for good measure. 2nd for overall ride gradient with 2.62% average for the total ride. Ouch • Day 5. Hautacam. Short out and back. 38k. God, that was one punchy climb. Kilometers click past and are either 8,9 or 10%. Felt unending. Overall ride average gradient of 3.1% made this the most climbiest rider per K we did.

The experience and the stories

• Good accommodation at the Pyrenees cycling lodge. Although Mark, our host, was somewhat perturbed to find Twinge v1.0 curled up and asleep at the foot of the front door on day 1. Twinge v2.0 preferred the comfort of the nest • Formal police notices issued for a range of offences including; the leaving of new tour top on the back of the chair overnight….shocking. The public dissing of one of the team whilst he was out on the hill. Police notice issued following a ‘whistleblower’ incident. • Yellow cap went to HRH on his maiden tour, but he was run very close by the impeccably dressed ColMac who, in my view, nailed the best single day performance with his well-judged blue accents matching the tour top perfectly. There was no suggestion of Twinge vote irregularities. Well, none were verbalised at any rate • JT won orange on the fact that he pulled his thumb out of his arse a couple of weeks before tour and did 2 or 3 turbo sessions. Everyone agreed that this sullied the good name of the Orange cap and that perhaps we should remember last year’s benchmark winner when awarding in the future. General shock and disappointment all round. At least one person cried. • The group as a whole consumed 18 complimentary fun-sized Mars each and every day. • I accounted for 17 of the above • Perfect weather • I’m not saying that sharing a room with Macca is like drawing the sleep equivalent of the short straw…….. this year’s tour saw ear-plugs land. At last we can now embrace our favourite  flyer like a long-lost brother..snore onward little one, snore onward • Biggest tour disappointment was the e-bike not running out of juice. At least 8 people prayed daily for this to come to pass • I only fell asleep twice this year at the various lunch stops… once in a deck chair next to ColMac whilst holding a pint (which I subsequently spilled on myself)…oddly enough, this incident went completely unobserved. Second time was at the top of Aubisque and lasted a nano-second. Not only was this observed but it was also filmed. Cat-like reflexes of the Pittock

….and so much more besides.

G19, a Grande Tour and huge success. My thanks go to JT for wrangling the accommodation with usual Teutonic efficiency and a huge shout out to Damo for driving all the bikes over there, complaining decidedly little and pandering to many a disorganised cyclist.

However in drawing to a close this year, I’d like to highlight 2 particular tour performances.

Firstly Dripping. The lad has had most of the bones in his body removed and replaced with man-made replicas. He has the back of a 90-year old and the combination of the 2 have meant that any sort of reasonable training regime was nigh-on impossible. He wasn’t ready to perform. At times he could barely walk straight let alone ride. To top it all off he’d had an epidural to release the muscles in his lower back, an injection which effectively puts your muscles to sleep, a consequence of which must undoubtedly seep into the legs one way or another.

Early on Tourmalet, and I mean really early, first 15 mins I reckon, I passed Dripping who was panting and out of the saddle, wrestling his bike reluctantly up an unrelenting climb.

It took me 2 hours. Drip spent an hour on top of that defeating his foe. 3 hours of climbing at over 8% in that condition. I don’t think there was anyone present on this tour who would have had the mental strength to achieve what Dripping achieved. I would have thrown my bike off a cliff having doused it in petrol and set fire to it long before the summit. Amesy wouldn’t have even boarded the plane. Clemo wouldn’t have left the bower.

As pink cap performances go, Dripping knocked it out of the park with gritted determination and practically zero complaining (apart from when our host effectively called him a vagrant for dossing in the hall).

The biggest problem Dripping now faces is going to be awarding the cap next year. He has shocking form in this particular decision-making department. Last time he did the honours he overlooked Damo’s stellar tour and gave it to James, who had pulled his thumb out of his arse and had done 2 or 3 turbo sessions. I swear to god I think I’ve seen JT do the old Obi Wan Kanobi Jedi mind tricks on awards night more than once…’there’s nothing to see here… move along’

In a bold future prediction, the G20 pink cap odds are currently, Damo 3/1 (patience and service of Drip’s woefully cleaned bike), JT 2/1 (Jedi), HRH evens (blood is blood).

Before we finish, time to look at things through a slightly different lens.

A coupla months back, I accompanied JT and his chum Neil (inventor of the petrol engine) on a wee trip to Austria. This was prior to JT putting in his incredible 2-3 turbo sessions I might add.  

As the wee-man and and I snuffled and puffed our way up Großglockner we both discussed the possibility of e-bikes on future tours. We saw families of all ages out on bike, often with the older generation right in the mix on their leccy MTB’s.

We loved being out on the bike but could feel the pain of the combination of hurt from lack of preparation, weight and age.

In a universe which sees entropy rule, moving order and structure slowly but inevitably into chaos, time is our enemy. We can fight and push but this ride is one-way only. It’s a big step to make decisions to tackle a harder path just to be able to enjoy the journey, but by chosing to go on tour with an e-bike this year, this is the path Moley chose. And he bloody loved every second of G20. Always smiling. Riding every mile. The e-bike enabled him to continue and properly enjoy the love of cycling in the big country with the boys.

He took a lot of shit for that decision. And indeed, can rightly expect to continue to do so. In fact, we are all still praying the fucker will run out of juice one day! But taking the piss is one thing, I actually think more than one of us looked negatively on the decision to do these rides on an e-bike. Almost as if it were cheating.

Now Moley may have had some assistance enjoying the trip, but he still had to put a shift in. And what else was he to do..? Not go, because he didn’t want to suffer and at some point, or even worse, fail over the 5 days?

Moley is the first person to take an e-bike on tour.

He will not be the last.

I want to ride as long as possible on a normal bike, but fuck me I’ll be e-biking it all the way if it’s a choice between doing or not doing.

Dripping aced pink on G19 with grit and utter determination.

Internally he said ‘fuck this, I’m going no matter what’.

Moley knew he would get a lot of stick for the e-bike choice.

Internally he said ‘fuck this, I’m going no matter what’.

That’s the spirit fellas.

G20, the summit, beckons. Majorca. The weekend of 25th April is looking likely. Gentlemen, clear your diaries. Gaudeix press release and invite to follow shortly.

Do 2 or 3 turbo sessions and a cap is more or less guaranteed.

Ride safely my lil fuckerinos….

Hoppo

[daleisgreat]

Man vs. Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler

I am a huge fan of the classic 2007 documentary, King of Kong, that saw two arcade players vying for the all-time Donkey Kong high score. Last year I was visiting a bunch of friends at a retro gaming convention and while hanging out after the con, one of them suggested to throw on today’s entry, 2015’s Man vs. Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler (trailer) on in the background. I had no idea what it was and immediately focused all attention upon it once I realized it focused on the same premise of two old-school arcade players chasing down the top score for another 80’s arcade game, Nibbler. It is not from the same directorial crew of King of Kong, but is shot in a similar style and shares a few supporting cast interviewees from King of Kong such as videogame high-score gatekeeper Walter Day and the controversial Billy Mitchell. Being a huge fan of King of Kong I was stunned Man vs. Snake went three years going off my radar. I listen to several videogame podcasts and keep up with the gaming press online and on social media seemingly daily and somehow this one slipped by me for three years. Upon getting minutes into the documentary I was doubly stunned that I had never once heard of or seen footage before of the 1982 arcade game, Nibbler this documentary is centering its high score chase on. The two creators of Nibbler, Joseph Ulowetz & John Jaugilas, are interviewed and explained how the game essentially came and went with middling sales and no real lasting power in the arcade scene at the time. If you are in my age range in your 30s you likely first experienced a variant of Nibbler more commonly known as Snake in the late 90s on either flash-based gaming websites, TI graphic calculators or simple black-and-green Nokia cell phones of that timeframe. I never recalled once seeing this in arcades and much-appreciated the history lesson. The two creators are only shown briefly in several excerpts, but they have an uncut 15 minute interview in the bonus material worth seeing because both of them go in-depth about how Nibbler came to be, crazy office stories and revealing the reason behind some of its gameplay secrets.

The two high score-chasers Man vs. Snake is centered around is Tim McVey (no, not the one you are thinking of) and Dwayne Richard. The documentary kicks off with exquisite animation sequences reminiscent of the style in Bob’s Burgers detailing how McVey originally posted the first official billion point game in Nibbler and procured the world record. Billy Mitchell is interviewed here elucidating the story because he is a real-life friend of Tim’s and witnessed him post that original record score. McVey was dethroned not too long later by an Italian, Enrico Zanetti, who is also interviewed and has his own unique tale on how his record stood for over 25 years. The animation featured in the opening and in a handful of other sporadic scenes throughout the film is incredibly impressive and is a worthy substitute for a lack of TV footage from that time. Flash forward to the late 2000s and the doc does a great job at detailing the impetus for what drove Tim and Dwayne to start competing against each other to set a new world record. A standout scene is showing clips and recapping how Dwayne & Tim compete against each other at MAGfest one year and the highs and lows of that public event. Later the focus switches to Dwayne & Tim’s own personal livestream attempts to try and break the world record and the stress of being filmed throughout the whole ordeal. McVey is featured more prominently throughout along with his wife and the film reeled me in for the agony of defeat as Tim went through all kinds of failed attempts due to several different type of circumstances. Both McVey and Richard have their feel good moments, and like King of Kong their successes did not go without controversy. Walter Day is the ever-present authoritative figure throughout with his trademark referee shirt just like we remember him from King of Kong. For fans of that documentary, you may recall it shares a couple glimpses of Walter’s unique personal life, and just some forewarning that Man vs. Snake dives a little deeper into Day’s lifestyle in a couple of scenes and it goes places I did not expect.

Also worth noting is that the DVD has both a censored and uncensored version available. I watched the uncensored version and what stood out from that is a couple of interview subjects being unfiltered at times and a couple graphic blister scenes due to playing Nibbler nonstop for over a day. For other extra features there are a total of 50 minutes of bonus scenes and that is where you can find the aforementioned interview with the two creators of the game. Other recommended cutting room floor scenes are more in-depth recaps of a couple of McVey’s failed attempts that did not get highlighted in the feature and a interview with another arcade score-chaser, Rick Carter, on his memories of trying to dethrone the Nibbler world record. There is also an audio commentary with directors Andrew Seklir and Tim Kinzy which is worth checking out because they have nonstop insight and facts on tracking down interview subjects, acquiring archival footage and discovering which interviewees they have fond and/or disdainful memories of throughout the production process. Man vs. Snake reminded a lot of why I loved King of Kong. I would rank it a notch or two under King of Kong because Man vs. Snake does not have the convenient hero/villain dynamic of Wiebe and Mitchell as McVey and Richard are both affable and positive figures to root for throughout. It also does not helps that King of Kong is based on one of the most popular arcade games of that era while Man vs. Snake focuses on one that I had no idea existed until I saw the film. Do not let that sway you from avoiding Man vs. Snake because it is still a vastly fascinating and entertaining documentary worth going out of your way to see. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past