#you can talk to me once and I’ll think about you forever but you’ll probably forget me.

[possiblyhumanbeing]

Does everyone have a certain point in every friendship where they’re convinced that their friends don’t actually care about them at all and are just being around them out of pity or is it just me?

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。yours, always yours

synopsis. satoru has always been yours—and he needs you to know you’ll also always be his

— word count. 2.4k (read the breakup fic first for better understanding, but can be read as a stand-alone)

— contents. fem! reader, college! au, rich boy! gojo, post-getting back together angst that gets a little heated <3, minors do not interact, fingering, unprotected sex, edging, satoru cumming too quick <3, creampie, tbh the smut is short and a lil rushed my b, it ends in fluff tho !! trust !! there is fluff !!

— notes. tbh this will probably get flagged rly fast but oh well u win some u lose some. anywayyyyy here is the make up sex bc yall nasties deserve it <3 jk love u guys

satoru falls first. and he falls hard. everyone knows it, it’s never been a secret.

“you want me to wash your hair?” you ask gently, kissing his shoulder as the water falls over his head. he hums, nodding absentmindedly as he stares blankly at the tiles of your shower wall.

“sure,” he mumbles, “don’t tug.”

“i never tug,” you roll your eyes, snorting. he huffs a small chuckle, but it’s not the usual laugh satoru gives you. it’s mechanic, almost—just there to fill the space. “baby?” you ask softly.

“yeah?” he asks, “oh, should i bend a little? sorry, i—”

“what’re you thinking about?” your hands cup his cheeks, gentle and warm from the hot water as it soaks his skin.

he shakes his head, trying to smile as he clears throat. “just how nice it is to be pampered. maybe i’ll let you break my heart every once in a while so i get my back scrubbed and hair washed like this.”

“satoru,” you insist. you know—and he knows it too. “tell me?”

“why’d you do it?” he mumbles, “why’d you listen to him?”

“toru, you know why,” you sigh, “you know i didn’t think there were any other options.”

“you could’ve talked to me,” he furrows his brows, “just because my stupid old man threatens you with my stupid inheritance doesn’t mean we have to break up.”

“i was afraid you’d choose me.” it comes out as a whisper, like a confession you can’t bear to admit.

“i would have chosen you,” he agrees, “why’s that bad? how’s that wrong—”

“you’re not thinking about the bigger picture,” you shake your head, “that company is yours. you’ve spent your whole life—”

“so what? was i supposed to give up the rest of my life for it too?” he asks tiredly—satoru’s defeated. he’s never been defeated, it’s the most magnetizing thing about him.

even before you date him. he asks and asks and asks no matter how many times you say no. because there’s always a chance you’ll say yes, and he’ll never stop as long as there’s a chance.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffle, lips wobbling, “i could have….i should have said something. i didn’t want you to make a choice young and then….and then regret it.”

“you think i’d regret you?” he’s wounded—absolutely wounded at the words.

satoru has always been careful, diligent and so, so meticulous to love you right, to love you how you need to be loved. hadn’t that proven enough? that he was in it for the long run—for forever? he’d been so sure you’d be his future, that the break up feels like waking up from a peaceful dream to a house fire—devastating, with smoke in his nose and lungs that he can’t breathe right, and everything gone within a moment before he can even register it.

he stares at the ashes in despair. nothing prepared him for the hollowness of not being yours—because satoru has never cared to make you his. all he’s ever wanted was to be yours.

you’re quick to remove him from everything, deleting pictures from your socials, untagging him from posts, removing him from your private stories and close friends list. he doesn’t understand how you could change your mind so quickly—and then he realizes you probably don’t. because he knows you—better than anyone ever has, satoru knows you.

so he’s comes to you, drenched from the rain, from standing outside your door even as the water pelts against his skin because he’s determined. he’s going to get an answer out of you, going to make you explain why you pulled him in so close, let him reside in your heart and fall asleep to the comforting rhythm of its beating—and then push him out like he’s nothing. what made you push him out?

and finally, when he does, when you let him be yours again and admit it’s never what you wanted, that it’s because it’s what his father wanted—well, satoru can’t keep his composure. don’t you know? hadn’t he always told you? hadn’t he poured his heart out and let you know every moment he’s always been stuck dangling from his father’s fingers? stuck somewhere between the sky and ground, too high to feel the floor under his feet but never high enough to feel the wind in his face.

you’ve always known, always listened—and fuck, you held him some nights too, let your fingers dip into his hair and soothe his sorrows of always being stuck.

satoru’s always been stuck, always had every choice made for him and every instruction carefully laid out on the table. and then you decided to make his choice for him too, walking away and choosing his future for him like he’s never had a say.

he’s always been stuck, but never with you—but now, he wonders if that’s changed.

“no,” you squeeze his cheeks, “no i don’t think you’d regret me….but satoru losing what you have is a big thing,” you mumble, “people work their whole lives not having a fraction of what you do. that’s a lot to let you lose.”

“i’ve never seen my dad kiss my mom,” he stares at you, hard and unwavering, his eyes stare into yours, “he’s never held her hand or made her laugh. and you know what she told me? that she would sell her share of everything to have what we do. why do you always look at me for what i have first?” he asks angrily, the water pouring over his shoulders as they shake, “why can’t you just look at me first for once?”

“i do look at you,” you insist, “toru, all i ever see is you—”

“then stop caring what he says,” he says louder, his voice echoing through the small bathroom of your small apartment.

everything about your home is small—smaller than satoru’s especially. but he loves it, thinks he’d rather be here than anywhere else.

because it’s yours. and as long as you’re here, the world fits into this tiny apartment, the galaxy too.

“okay,” you say shakily. and then you nod, looking him in the eye, “you’ll handle it?”

he nods, kissing between your brows, “yeah, i’ll handle it. who else is gonna take over that company anyway?”

“but what if he finds someone else? and then he—”

“he won’t. my grandpa will shred him.”

“but he’s old, and he stepped down, so what really can he do if your dad decides—”

“god, baby,” he groans, pushing your body against the wall gently, “i love your voice, but you talk so much. i’m wanna listen to something else.”

his lips find your neck, sucking gently at the skin, hand trailing to your tits before his thumb circles your nipple. it’s slow, deliberate, teasing as it rolls over the bud.

you whimper, clutching onto him as a breathy, “t-toru,” leaves your lips.

“yeah,” he nods, “that’s what i wanna listen to instead.” his lips are in a grin against your neck, kissing and biting until he reaches your collarbone. “anyone dm you after you took me out of your socials?” he asks bitterly.

“j-just one,” you admit through a stutter, “b-but i didn’t even open it! i wasn’t really—oh, toru,” you gasp as his finger finds your clit, spreading your legs as he lets out a soft growl at your words.

“what? just cause my face isn’t on your instagram suddenly you’re not mine?” he asks, thumb rubbing harsh circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves—you close your eyes, moaning as your arms wrap tightly around his neck. “you’re always mine,” he murmurs against your ear, low and careful so you hear him well, “yeah? got that?”

“got it,” you nod furiously.

“got what?”

“‘m al-always—oh, fuck,” you mewl as one finger prods at your entrance, gathering your slick before slowly sliding through your walls.

“c’mon, sweetheart,” he says firmly, “finish your sentences.”

“always yours, toru! always yours—please, please j-just…”

“just what?” he raises a brow.

“more,” you sob—it’s a broken plea as your hips thrust against his finger.

he’s quick to slide in a second, thrusting his digits mercilessly into your soaked cunt, his palm gliding over your clit as the slick sound of his fingers fucking you is almost drowned by the water in the back.

your water bill will be high this month. you decide it’s a sacrifice satoru deserves.

“you think someone could ever learn this body better than me? make you cum like i can? you think anyone will ever love you enough to learn you like i do?”

“n-no,” you pant, his fingers hitting that spot inside of you so perfectly, you feel that dull ache build up quickly. it’s good—everything with satoru is good. his other hand finds your chest to pinch a nipple, twisting and squeezing until your nails leave indents on his shoulders as you moan loudly. “no one—no one but you.”

“exactly,” he growls, “how could you leave me? how could you leave us?”

“‘m sorry,” you sniffle, whimpering when the tips of his fingers slam against that spongey spot of your walls, fluttering around him and squeezing him in. you’re close—so close that you almost don’t know what he’s saying anymore, too focused on the way your impending orgasm is approaching. fast. “i’m sorry, i’ll never—ever leave again.”

“say you love me,” he demands.

it sounds like he’s pleading, though, if you listen closely. there’s a small crack in his voice, a slight shakiness that makes you force your eyes open and stare at him and whisper, “i love you, satoru. i love you.”

and then he rips his fingers out—right before you’re about to cum. you gasp, pleading nonsense as you cling to him and buck your hips and search for something, anything to take you over the edge.

and then you hear a sniffle. is he crying? is that wet droplet on your shoulder a tear or the water? you’re too busy calming down from your orgasm dying before it ever came to focus.

satoru’s hard against your thigh, throbbing and painful to sink into you. he strokes himself a few times, whimpers as his thumb gathers the pre cum from the sensitive tip, smearing it along his length as he shakily lets out a quiet moan.

“f-fuck, i gotta feel you. please, can i? please—”

“yes,” you pull him closer, grinding your heat over his hard-on, “yes please, toru. more, need more.”

he’s sliding along your folds, dragging the tip of his cock along your entrance and smearing a mix of your arousal with his. and then slowly, ever so gently, he’s pushing into your after that, pushing past your walls and bullying into your soaked cunt, curving into you perfectly.

it’s only been a week—you feel like you haven’t felt him in years. but it’s familiar. you remember every part of him, including every vein that drags along your walls and makes your head spin. he remembers every part of you, including where that spot is that he needs to angle his hips to find.

he slams into you, hard and rough and fast—doesn’t even let you adjust your position to hold onto him tighter before he’s thrusting his hips and fucking into you desperately. you can feel him, every inch of his skin against you, every part of him that’s touching you. and you can feel the way his cock nudges past your folds, the friction burning pleasure through ever nerve.

satoru knows how to fuck you, just like he knows how to love you, he knows your body—every dip and ever curve, every place to touch and every part that has you gushing around him. it’s just the way he is, too good at giving you what you want, what you need.

when he moans, it’s breathy and he’s panting as he lets out those soft whimpers that make your head spin. “feel that? feel me?” he asks, grunting as you squeeze around his length.

“yeah,” you breathe, “‘m so full.”

“i need you. please, please,” he murmurs, “can’t lose you, baby. never you,” he chants, the quiver in his voice tearing you apart.

“i’m right here,” you gasp, lacing your fingers with his and squeezing his hand. he squeezes back, just to let you know he’s there too, “right here, baby. you got me.”

and then he cums, just as soon as you whisper that—he spills right into you with a broken cry, his hips rolling, needy and desperate and so, so lost on the pleasure. he’s too busy working himself through his high, trembling over your body to care he’s cum too quick—and you don’t have it in you to tease him. you can feel the hot ropes of cum filling you, painting your walls white, fucking deep into you as the blunt head of his cock slams into you without a second of hesitation.

but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t falter that brutal pace as his hips slam into you, perfectly kissing your sweet spot every time. and before long, you break—your head pushes back against the wall behind you, mouth parted as you wail his name and cum—hard. you’re quivering and spasming around his swollen cock, enough that he whimpers at the way you’re so tight.

it’s good, it’s always good. satoru makes you feel good. he’s the best you’ve ever had—the best you’ll ever find.

and then you hear it again, the sniffle into your neck as he clutches you tightly. you know for sure that wet droplet is a tear this time, and your fingers tangle into his hair as you stroke the wet strands.

“i love you, toru,” you murmur, “my sweet boy. i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry.”

“don’t do that again,” he huffs in between tears, “that was so mean. so mean.”

“i said i won’t,” you chuckle, fighting back your own tears, “how long are you gonna hold this against me?”

“how long do you plan on being mine?”

“well,” you pull him from your neck, cupping his cheeks as you wipe away tears and peck his lips softly, “i think….forever.”

“well, get ready, then,” he glares softly, “i’m gonna hold this against you forever too.”

“okay,” you nod, “that’s fair.”

“and i love you too,” he adds, “but block whoever dm’d you. it better not be that zenin boy.”

“block those girls who’s pictures you liked,” you shoot back, glaring at him with a pout of your own.

“don’t yell at me,” he mumbles, leaning into your touch as your thumb strokes his cheek, “i’ve had a rough week. you have to be nice.”

dabitee anon. are u seeing this. did u see the satoru who cums too fast. did u see it. report back if u saw this. i repeat, dabitee anon report back if you see this

[changingplumbob]

Pancakes Household: Chapter 9, Part 9

Are you ready?

Since the infant can't talk her thoughts will be in brackets

Fergus: She’s going to be here after school!

Onyx: *unenthusiastically* Yay

Fergus: I thought you wanted to have a sister

Onyx: I do, I’m just feeling sick

Fergus: You should stay home

Onyx: I don’t know

Fergus: Well I know if you go to school Emi is going to end up following you around screaming you’ve got the plague

Onyx sighs as they know their brother is probably right. Willing the swirls on their face to come through in their voice they call in that they’ll be homebound today.

Eliza: Honey you should be napping

Onyx: I was but I needed some juice

Eliza: Okay well please get back in bed after. If your dad wakes up before you go up tell him I’m walking Ginger before the social worker gets here

Onyx follows their mothers’ instructions and eventually Bob learns Eliza is out when he and Strawberry pass her and Ginger like ships in the night. Bob assures her he’ll be back home in time for their special delivery.

Here she is! Miss Tiana Pancakes, newest member of the stack. First up on the agenda once she’s dropped off is a feeding to stop her getting hungry. Then while Bob goes to set up the kitchen for the new addition Eliza plays with her daughter who may be intense but is no less adorable for it.

Eliza: You are so precious my little Tiana. Me and your daddy are going to love you forever and ever, I promise. Your older siblings will love you to, and we have two cute dogs, I’m sure you’ll like them. They’re fluffy

Tiana smiles as Eliza lifts her up for a kiss. Eliza then takes her to the playmat in the lounge for Bob to spend some time with her.

Bob: Hey there, oh you are cute as a button aren’t you? Can we have some tummy time with daddy, huh?

Very carefully he turns the infant on to her tummy and works on trying to get her to lift her head.

Bob: Come on honey, lift that head

Tiana: *cries* (but my head is heavy)

Bob: Oh dear. Eliza! What do I do

Tiana: *cries* (I don’t like this, put me back on my back)

Eliza: Just keep trying Bob, she’ll learn eventually

Bob: But I feel like I’m torturing her when she cries

Tiana: *cries* (I hate this)

Eliza: It’s just because the others went straight to toddlers

Tiana: *cries* (why won’t he turn me over)

Bob: I don’t want to be the bad guy, can’t you do it

Eliza: *sighs* Okay I’ll try later, how about giving her a nap

Bob: Yes! Come here Tiana, Daddy’s got you, yes I do

Tiana: *sniffles*

Bob cradles Tiana and softly whispers while rocking her. It doesn’t take long for the infant to fall asleep, it’s been a big day for her to.

Eliza: There Bob, not so scary now is she

Bob: She’s perfect, our daughter

Strawberry: *yaps* New human! Pink bow! Oh we’re twins

Tiana: *panics and cries* (Loud noises! What the heck is that? Does it want to eat me)

Bob: Oh no, she’s awake

Eliza: Here, I’ll take her. Think you can handle being the bad guy with the dogs

Bob: *laughs* yes. Here Tiana, here’s your mother. You’ll be safe with mother, yes you will

Tiana: *grins* (It tickles)

In Eliza’s arms Tiana suddenly remembers the scary yapping dog and begins crying all over again.

Tiana: *cries* (I’ll be eaten, goodbye cruel world)

Eliza: *shushes* There there Tiana, its okay. Strawberry is a bit loud isn’t she, don’t worry she’s just saying hello because she likes you.  Do you see, she has matching bows

Tiana doesn’t understand any of this but Eliza’s voice begins to soothe her and she feels calmer.

Eliza: See now, isn’t it better when we’re not crying huh? We can find something to smile about, yes we can

Tiana beams up at Eliza happy again.

Eliza: Now I know you’ve had a very big day but can we try to practice lifting that beautiful head

Eliza rolls Tiana on to her tummy and begins encouraging her to try and lift herself up. A couple of times she comes close but before long the crying starts again.

Tiana: *cries* (I just want to be an infant forever)

Eliza: Oh honey, it’s okay, it’s okay

Gently Eliza rolls Tiana onto her back and makes some funny faces until the young one is smiling again.

Eliza prepares some formula and gives Tiana a feeding before bed. The little girl guzzles away happily until it gets to burping time. When Eliza pats her back Tiana sicks up some of the formula on her shirt.

Eliza: Uh oh, do we have a happy spitter

Tiana: *whimpers* (If I am why does my animation look sad)

Eliza: There there honey, are you ready for bed? Mother will get you to bed

Previous ... Next

[cameronspecial]

Before The Last Petal Falls (Part 4)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Substance and Alcohol Use, Talk about Addiction, Swearing and Toxic Relationship Signs.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: Y/N takes the first steps to move on and she finds Rafe in a compromising position.

Masterlist

The Outer Banks isn’t famous for their food selection, so Y/N decides to take Cole to The Wreck. “This place doesn’t look like much, but a family friend owns the place so it’s good,” she promises to Cole, walking through the door he holds open for her. He nods and places his hand on the small of her back, “It’s okay. I like the mom-and-pop vibe of the place. It’s cute.” Kiara spots Y/N easily and squeals. “Y/N, I heard you are back! I’m a little offended that you didn’t come sooner,” Kie tackles her in a hug then spots Cole. “Oh, he’s cute. I approve. I’ll give you the back seat near the window. It’s the most romantic one.” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. Y/N laughs at the girl’s comments. The couple is led toward the table and he lets her sit on the booth side facing the front door. “The hostess here is very friendly. I like her,” he jokes as he settles into his seat. Y/N roars with laughter, “Yeah, that’s Kiara. We’re friends. She can get a little excitable.’ Cole chuckles with her. “So what should I eat?”

Y/N smiles at him and points on the menu to her favourite meal. “I love the po’ boys. I normally go for the oyster one, but the shrimp one is good too. Fun fact, these were only supposed to be a special item for the summer menu, but I begged Kiara’s parents, who own this place, to keep it on the menu and I guess I am a very good negotiator.” Cole looks over the choices and nods, “Ohh, that does sound like it would taste good. And you are a very good negotiator, I heard the story about how you negotiated with the people at one of your Canadian venues to have a poutine bar at the signing.”

“Wow, you heard about that? I did do that because who wouldn’t want a poutine bar at their first Canadian signing? The poutine was good in case you were wondering. One of the best decisions I made on the tour. Right after giving out free devil horns and angel wings at each venue. It was so fun seeing everyone wearing them in person and on social media. So how’s work going?” 

“I’m slowly making my way to the top. I would do even better if I could get a certain OBX native to sign on with us.”

“Oh, so that’s the real reason why you wanted this date. I see how it is.”

“I’m joking. I’m joking. You know that. It really is going well, though. The fact that they trusted me to scope out this place is a good sign.”

“So if they do open up an office here, would you be the one to come here?”

“Uh, yeah. I would probably be the one to do that. Have you ever thought about moving back home?”

“Uh, I love this place, but I don’t think my forever home is here. My whole life I’ve dreamed of living in London. Ever since I went to London with my mom when I was younger to check on the publishing of one of her books. It was absolutely magical and plus, I’m already setting up shop there a little more permanently with my bookstore.”

“Right, I heard about your bookstore. I hope I’m going to be on the guest list for the grand opening.”

“Of course, you’ll be first on my list. I promise.”

The rest of the date is spent joking and talking about various things. She honestly had such a good time with him that she forgot that their first date so many years ago was not a great start. It made her forget that she once couldn’t get the idea of Rafe outside of her head. Maybe it really is time for her to move on. 

——

Why she keeps letting Mason drag her to different places is beyond her. She doesn’t want to be at Kelce’s party right now. She hasn’t had a chance to see him yet since she came back but this is not how she imagines their reunion. “Y/N, I was beginning to think you didn’t want to see me,” Kelce yells over the music, giving her a big hug. Y/N returns the hug, “It’s good to see you too, Kelce. Nice party.” “You don’t really mean that, but it means a lot that you are here. Even if I know Mace brought you here.” Y/N shakes her head and lets Kelce get back to greeting other people. She moves towards the kitchen to get some snacks and something to sip on. Mason ran off to talk to friends, so she makes small talk with people she knew, who passed through the kitchen. 

With all the sipping she does, nature starts to eventually call and she makes her way to the upstairs bathroom in Kelce’s room. She knows only his closest friends would dare to go up there. She enters the closed bathroom without knocking because she wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the bathroom. However, she is surprised to see Rafe in there already. She is outraged at the activities she finds him doing up here all by himself. Rafe is leaning over the counter with his nose dangerously close to a white powder substance. He quickly bolts upright and uses the back of his hand to wipe the powder residue around his nose. “What the fuck are you doing?” she yells with anger. The last time she had seen him, he had given up weed because he knew how she felt about drugs. She couldn’t believe he escalated to something stronger.

When she found out about Mason smoking weed, she wasn’t thrilled, but she did research to find out that there was a low risk of drying from a weed overdose. It gave her some peace of mind, but she made both Mason and Rafe, once she found out he picked up the habit too, promise her that they wouldn’t try anything else. They agreed because they knew how terrified she was of losing some after she went to a funeral for one of her mother’s friends, who had died of an overdose. Even though they broke up, she could not believe that Rafe would go against the promise he made fifteen-year-old her. “This is none of your business, Y/L/N,” he spits out, moving in front of the counter, subconsciously, to hide the drugs from her. 

“Rafe, you broke your promise. You and Mason both promised me that you wouldn’t do anything other than weed.”

“Don’t worry, Mace isn’t doing this shit too. He doesn’t know that I’m doing it either. I just needed something to make me forget.” 

“Right now, he is the last thing I’m worried about. What could you possibly need to forget about so much?” Her anger turns to concern as she can see the pain hidden in his eyes. She may not like that he is now doing the drug, but she is slowly piecing the puzzle together. The steps she takes forward are small, as though she is approaching a fawn, because she fears he is going to run from her. He lets her place her hand onto his bicep as he looks at her with blown pupils. “Like you need to ask that question,” he grumbles, moving out of her reach. “No, I guess you don’t. But you aren’t allowed to come back after all these years and pretend like you care.”

“Rafe, I’m not pretending. I really am concerned about you.”

“Don’t lie to me. You don’t care about my feelings. Because if you did, you never would’ve come back. You never would’ve stopped talking to me. And you never would’ve broken up with me.”

She begins to feel frustrated and attacked in this conversation, which causes tears to fall down her cheek. “Really? I broke up with you because I care about you. I sacrificed my future with you because I cared for YOU!” 

Rafe shakes his head and lets out a low chuckle. “No, you sacrificed our love so you can stop feeling guilty.” He doesn’t say another word as he pushes off the counter he was leaning on and storms out of the room. Y/N sits on the toilet and lets her tears stream down her face. 

—— 

She couldn’t stay at the party any longer, so she called Cole and asked him if he could pick her up. He was there about thirty minutes later in a rental car. She gets in without a hitch and he immediately notices her sadness. “Are you okay?” Y/N gives him a tight-lipped smile, “Can we go somewhere else first, please?” Cole nods and starts the car. He takes her to a McDonald’s parking lot. She feels a pain in her chest at the memory of the last time she went to an OBX McDonald’s with a boy. “Thought you might be hungry, so how about I get us something to eat and then you can pour your heart out to me after?” he promises, getting out of the car and into the establishment.

A few minutes later, he jogs out of the restaurant with a bag and tray in his hand. He puts the paper bag on the dashboard and hands over a McFlurry first. She gives him a questioning look, “Dessert first?” “As I like to say, it all ends up in the same place, so why does it matter what you eat first,” he says with a massive grin on his face. Y/N giggles and digs into the frozen treat. She eats some more of her ice cream before talking, “Rafe is doing cocaine.”

“Rafe… as in your ex, that Rafe?”

“Yeah, I saw him doing it at the party and we got into an argument. He knows how I feel about drugs. I can’t believe he would turn towards it.” 

“I can. I mean, I don’t condone it but I can understand why. When I was doing my A-levels, my brother died and I turned to alcohol. I know the pull he feels towards anything that could make him forget,” he begins to explain. “It isn’t healthy how we choose to forget about our problems, but I know how much he must have been hurting to decide to use the drug. You have to understand that he isn’t doing it to hurt you though, he’s doing it because a part of him is hurting.”

She can see the vulnerability in Cole’s eyes and reaches over the centre console to give him a hug, “Thank you. It made me feel better, but I just can’t help but feel guilty about being the one to cause him the pain.”

“I know, but I also know that you didn’t mean to hurt him. Whatever reason you have for breaking up with him, you thought you were doing the right thing. And this may come off as a little selfish, but if you didn’t break up with him, then we wouldn’t be in this car right now. So I am very grateful for that,” he whispers, bringing his face closer to her. She smiles at him and closes the gap between them. 

——

Rafe had made the poor choice of driving while he was high; all he was focused on was getting back home and away from her sad expression. His family was away for the weekend, so it was only Blythe waiting for him to get back. He enters the house with a loud bang coming from the front door. He stays at the front entrance and paces around the room. His hands run through his hair, tugging at the end of the strands. Blythe comes down the stairs wearing just his t-shirt, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” she asks, walking over to him. He turns at her with angry eyes, “Everything is fine, Blythe.” She places her hand on his bicep and rubs it soothingly. “Really? You don’t seem to be.” 

Rafe harshly yanks his arm out of her touch, “I said that I’m fine, Blythe. Geez, why do you have to be so nosy all the time?” His words hold so much venom that she doesn’t miss it. She goes up the stairs and turns back towards him halfway up. “I can see you are hurting right now, but it is no excuse for you to take it out on me. Come find me when you are done being so angry.” With that, she continues back upstairs to their bedroom. Rafe lets out a scream and punches the door near the archway that leads to the family room. He stares at the hole his fist left and makes another one beside it. 

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @f4ll-for-you @winterrrnight @maggiecc @magicwithaknife @loves0phelia @jiarapamuk

[spidergutz-writes]

Dear genius;; do you perhaps have more headcanons for Otis with Baby's best friend? Just anything!! ;;w;

-meadow! My dear friend hello again :D! I truly hope you enjoy these (givin me my favorite tropes, i see what your doin 😁)

anyways, I hope you enjoy these!! —

So. Much. FLIRTING.

and not just regular flirting, though. Oh No no no.

what? You thought OTIS could flirt normally? No. That man’s shoving a live human heart in your face, while telling you how nice and soft your precious skin looks.

lemmie tell you this, if your baby’s best friend, you’ve either been with her from the beginning, or your just a morbid person and they kept you around for that.

and if you’ve been with her from the beginning? You can at least tolerate morbid stuff.

so there’s a lot of…dark flirting.

example:

“I’d love to cut you up and make a masterpiece outta you, doll”

“I’d let you do it.”

definitely also makes you little gifts. Like, little portraits of you, figures made of bone or cartilage.

puts his hand on your shoulder a lot. Your his, and he needs others to know that. (you just don’t know it yet, and he probably doesn’t either)

otis is also a very blunt person, so he’s more than likely invited you to his bed more than once

”yknow sweetheart, my beds always open for you”

often uses you as his muse, blatantly telling you it’s because your hot/pretty as fuck.

you two probably have rant sessions too.Your mad about something, he’s mad about something, so you both just vent to eachother about it.

you laying on his bed, him pacing around. Your waiting for him to finish so you can console him, then go on with your own rant,

which you know he’d be there to listen to. After you listen to him ofc.

”can’t believe tiny almost let my muse escape! Do you know how long it took for me to get this detrimental wall of art block broken down? Fucking, forever!! If it wasn’t for me being there, just in time, that bitch would’ve ran away!”

so many late nights spent outside when neither of you can sleep, so you just talk.

talking about anything and everything, till eventually one of you falls asleep (typically you)

and by saying that, there’s been a few times where you woken up in Otis’s bed while he’s passed out on the very edge of the bed.

hes a sadistic, psychotic, homicidal maniac, but for some reason, you, baby’s best friend, the one person he’s NOT supposed to be kind, and all that gooey stuff with, makes him want to be nice to you.

doesn’t want to actually carve your face off

he wishes to keep it on your pretty/handsome face :((

lots of meaningless banter —

”your face is dumb”

”yeah? Well you have more wrinkles than my grandmother”

”oh really? Well- your probably not even a natural blond!”

*LE GASP*

HORROR MOVIE MARATHONS. y’all will stay up ALL night watching shitty old horror movies and criticizing it

saying how fake and un real it is

”the gore is so fake, I mean cmon!!”

“…idk, the gore is pretty good, but the acting is shit.”

“You think that’s real gore? Gimme a second sweetheart, LEMMIE go grab my muse. I’ll show you real gore!”

”OTIS NO WHAT ABOUT THE MOVI-“

yeah. You’ll have to clean up all the blood btw.

man is caked in layers of blood, and constantly smells of Pennys and nickels.

ITS SO LATE RN BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE IVE POURED SO MANY HUMAN EMOTIONS INTO THIS-

[rattlyglitch]

Birthday of Surprises (Peso's Birthday) Part 1

When Peso woke up in the med bay he woke up tired and hearing his octowatch going off during was still night most likely. Peso looked down at his wrist confused and pressed the accept button to see who had called him so early in the morning “HAPPY BIRTHDAY PESO!” Pinto yelled into the octowatch. The yell was loud enough to startle Peso out of any sleep he might have had left. “Thanks, Pinto,” Peso replied sleepily, smiling while looking at his watch. “You look really tired. Were you asleep?” Pinto asked with a questioning look. Peso nodded.

“Yeah I was but I’m awake now.” Pinto smiled. “Good then that means I can talk to you for the next bit and I can tell Pogo and Mamá that you were already awake.” Peso was confused. “I thought they already knew you called?” Pinto shook his head no. “Nope neither did. I’m pretty sure Pogo and Mamá are still asleep.” Peso sat up. “Wait what time is it where you guys are?” Pinto hummed. The noise of the penguin leaving shuffling to a clock and then back from his bed was noticeable. “It’s two a.m. but in two minutes it’ll be one so it’s fine. I mean the time is probably near the same and besides it’s the beginning of your birthday anyway so does it really matter?” Peso nodded. 

“It does matter because you're supposed to be in bed. But thanks for calling me.” Pinto nodded. “Of course. Besides, aren't you headed this way? You’ll be here to celebrate your birthday right?” Peso hummed. “We’re most likely close but still, you need to go back to sleep. You wouldn’t want me to get there and you can’t stay awake to see me right?” Pinto groaned. “Yeah yeah. I wanted to stay up more and talk with you though. We haven’t talked in forever.” Peso chuckled. “It hasn’t been forever. We talked yesterday about how school was going and how you got a pirate flag for your room.” Peso could hear and see the overly dramatic sigh come from Pinto and stifled a laugh. “Either way hurry up. I’m really excited to see you. I even got you a present I think you’ll really like.” Peso nodded sleepily, becoming tired once again.

“I’ll see you as soon as I can. We both need to go to sleep though. It wouldn’t be good if neither of us had energy for the party now would it?” Pinto hummed. “I guess it would.” Peso sighed and was going to end the call before Pinto stopped him. “Do you think we could stay on call still? The octowatches turn off if no talking is heard for thirty minutes.” Peso smiled at his younger brother. “Sure hermano. We can stay on call.” The way Pinto’s face lit up made Peso feel how happy his brother was. “Night Pinto,” Peso replied. He didn’t hear anything and looked at the octowatch. Pinto had fallen asleep as soon as he laid his head down on his pillow. Peso guessed that he must have been very persistent then to stay awake. He didn’t think much about it though and laid down himself, sleep soon following Peso after he laid down.

When Peso woke up the next morning he wasn’t sure what he should expect. He knew there was an audible noise that sounded like someone or someones were walking past his door. Peso decided to let them go bye and not move. He didn’t want to interrupt whatever they were doing but he had a few guesses as to what it could be. Peso looked at his octo-watch wondering if the call from the night before had ended like Pinto said and it appeared it did. Peso would be able to put to use the knowledge he knew now if there had to be silence for a mission and it had to be a quick conversation. Peso thought about testing to see if the watch could translate sign language into text messages but that was a later thing. At the moment Peso wanted to leave and go out into the main part of the ship.

The faster he left his room the faster he would be able to spend time with his friends and family. Getting up and out of bed wasn’t too hard and neither was walking to the door. Peso even noticed outside his door though was a basket with fish biscuits and peppermint kelp cakes in it. When he got to the main room though it seemed as if no one was in there.”Guys, where are you?” Peso called out confused. “Amigos? Kwazii? Dashi? Tweak?” No one answered his call out for their names. A message came through to Peso’s octowatch. “Go to the launch bay.” Peso nodded to himself and set off determinedly to the launch bay. The bay seemed to also have no signs of movement within it though once Peso approached it.  It was confusing as to where they had all gone at first until he noticed a crab scurrying around the octopod.  Peso went over to the crab and gently picked him up.

“I am sorry Mr.Crab but you can’t go any further into the octopod. You must have accidentally wandered into here. Don’t worry I’ll get you back outside.” The crab only shrugged and held up a piece of paper that was in its claw up to Peso. Peso gently took the letter and walked outside the octopod making sure to securely close the door before looking down at the note. “A surprise is planned. A party is held. Come to your favorite igloo, we are waiting for you.” Peso chuckled. He wondered if it was going to lead to a treasure hunt but a part of him felt that even if it did. Someone would be joining him to help find his way to the party. Peso looked over the note one last time and saw “P.S. good morning Peso” in a handwriting he was very familiar with. It was Pinto’s. 

[rubyreduji]

eat your young | the games pt 3

tags: hunger games!au, fake dating, angst warnings: death, violence, blood, gore, probably inaccurate medical stuff (its fiction shut up) wc: 4.4k an: you are legally obligated to NOT be mad at me

m.list

That’s two more gone. Ten remain. Half of them are careers. You stare at the fire blankly.

You don’t want to be on this island anymore. You don’t want to think about how Wonwoo died less than thirty feet away, but you know on this island you can get fresh water and a good supply of food, so you don’t dare move the boys.

“Y/N-ah.” Jihoon’s voice is soft as he approaches you. He sits down next to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. You slightly melt into his arms, enjoying the safety of his arms locked around you, just for a moment.

“I’m okay Ji, I just need a minute.”

“I know, I know. I just wanted to tell you that Hansol and I are going to sleep soon. Please don’t stay up all night. Wake one of us up to take watch, okay?”

You nod. “Let Hansol-ah into the sleeping bag tonight, okay?”

“Okay. Don’t forget to put the fire out soon.” Jihoon presses a kiss to your forehead. It’s the first time either of you have shown any physical affection other than hand holding or cuddling at night. The feeling lingers there even after Jihoon gets up.

You huff. That’s another problem that you don’t want to worry about. The stupid crush you have on your fake boyfriend. You think you may have had a crush on him even before either of you were reaped, but now it’s real. It’s not just a passing crush on the idea of someone. No, now he’s here and real and holding your hand and kissing your forehead and making your heart go crazy.

You don’t think it’s healthy to feel this many emotions at once. Being in the Hunger Games is not for the faint of heart, you will say that.

You grieve for Wonwoo. He was your friend and your ally and he saved your life. By morning though, you will be back to good and ready to assess the next problem that arises. You have to be if you want to keep Jihoon and Hansol safe. You have to push all personal emotions aside so you can think properly and just get through the next challenge.

It’s late when you put the fire out. It’s way past the nightly recap. You didn’t bother watching tonight. You sit in the silent dark and stare at the moon. It’s not real, just another thing made by the Gamemakers, but it still brings you some comfort.

You think about your family. You hope your sister is sleeping right now. You hope your father isn’t worrying too much about you. Joshua is probably up right now. He’s always been a night owl.

“Hey Shua,” you whisper into the night. You use your old nickname for him. The one you gave him when you two were in elementary school. You’ve graduated to calling him ‘Josh’, especially in public, but every once in a while you’ll revert back to the old nickname. It helps remind you both of your past together and how far you have come.

You’re not sure if he’s going to be watching. He was never someone who would watch intently. Neither were you, but you kept more tabs on things than he did. Maybe he’s watching just because it’s you. Maybe he’s not watching for that exact reason.

“I miss you. I miss you a lot. You know after thirteen years of friendship you’d think we’d be tired of each other, yet it’s only been a week away from you and it’s like I’m going crazy. It’s hard not having you here. It’s like a part of me is missing. Well, not like. A part of me is missing. You.

“Remember when you used to accompany me during work and you’d complain about it the whole time while I chopped down tree after tree, but you stayed because it meant we could spend more time together? I wish we could go back to doing that. Jihoon and Hansol are good company, but they’re not you. I’ll love you forever, my Shua-yah.”

You’re pretty sure the Capitol isn’t going to air your little speech. You don’t care though. It makes you feel better being able to talk to Joshua in some way.

The rest of the night you wonder what District 7 has been up to. When the sunrises you look over and smile softly at the sight of Jihoon and Hansol in the sleeping bag. They’re adorable smushed together with their sleeping faces.

You stand up and all of your bones crack from sitting in the same place the whole night. You stretch your body out and grab the bag. You find the tap and put it in a tree before collecting water for the day.

You hear rustling coming from behind you and soon arms are wrapping around your waist, a sleepy face pressed to your back. “You didn’t sleep last night.”

“I’ll sleep later, after Sol wakes up.” You lean back into Jihoon’s embrace. “I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyways.”

“Remember, you have to take care of yourself too.”

Jihoon’s words make your mind flash back to your final conversation with Soonyoung.

Promise me one more thing? Take care of yourself as well, yeah? I know your new focus is on Jihoon, but you’re important too.

You know that if you don’t care for yourself, you won’t be much help to Jihoon either. It doesn’t matter if you actually take care of yourself to take care of yourself, it won’t matter in the end. You need to be at your best for Jihoon though.

You turn around so you can face him. His hair is a mess and you reach up to fix it. “Let’s go to the shore today. I wanna wash in the water.”

Jihoon nods, though you have a feeling he’s only half listening. You lean down and kiss his forehead, as payment for the one he gave you last night. As you and Jihoon are in your own little world, you can hear Hansol starting to wake up as well.

Jihoon squeezes you once more. “Go sleep. We’ll go to the shore later.”

You nod. With a yawn you climb into the sleeping bag, and let sleep overtake you.

When you wake up, it’s way past noon. The sun shines bright in your eyes and you crawl out of the sleeping bag. Hansol and Jihoon are both lounging about and both perk up when they see you’re awake.

You three walk down to the shore where you get into the water. You clean your body off from all of the dirt and grime and blood from the last few days. The salt water still doesn’t leave you feel completely clean, but it’s something.

Hansol and Jihoon do the same and you’re all feeling slightly better afterwards. You stand on the sand, waiting for them to finish up. You glance over at the island in the middle of everything. You can see the glint of the metal Cornucopia in the distance. The place where all the careers reside.

“Y/N-ah,” Jihoon pulls you from your thoughts. “Ready to go back?”

“Yeah.” You pull your eyes away from the Cornucopia and grab Jihoon’s hand.

Another canon goes off later that evening. You guys are sitting around the fire, eating roasted nuts that Hansol found. The sound of the cannon doesn’t make you jump anymore, but it still caches your attention.

There are only two other non-career tributes out there. You wonder if it was one of them. You don’t have to wonder for too long because the nightly recap starts. When you look up at the sky you’re not expecting to see a career.

The picture of the District 4 boy you attacked on the very first day sits high in the sky. Hyunwoo? Something like that. You wonder if his leg injury got to him, or something else did. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is there are now only four careers left.

The night is peaceful. The next morning is as well.

You find a hunk of wood and grab a knife. You’re not sure who’s knife it is anymore, but it doesn’t really matter. You’re glad one of your hobbies can be done with even the simplest tools you have available to you.

The Capitol citizens have to be finding this funny right now. People are dying and you’re sitting here carving wood.

“Hey, that’s my song,” Jihoon says. Your concentration is broken and you look up at him.

“What?”

“You were humming,” Jihoon explains.

“Oh, sorry. Force of habit.” Whenever you’re working you end up humming a song. You don’t know many songs though, so you always go back to the same two or three you’ve heard Jihoon singing.

“Don’t apologize, I like hearing it.” Jihoon looks a bit shy and you think it’s adorable.

“You two are gross,” Hansol says, breaking the moment. “It was better when Wonwoo was here, so I had something to focus on that wasn’t you two.”

You laugh lightly. “Sorry Sollie, we’ll tone it down.”

You don’t want to tone it down though. You want to keep it going. You want to do more and have more and be more.

The rest of the afternoon is quiet. Then evening comes.

While everyone is sitting around, you sit up from where you’re leaning against one of the trees. There’s a rustling of leaves and in an instant you’re up on your feet. There’s a flash of something and suddenly you’re pulling both Jihoon and Hansol up, pushing them ahead of you.

“Mutts!” You yell out and start to take off at a full running pace. You glance behind you and quickly look away. It looks to be a mutation between a rhino and a large feline. It has the horn and build of a rhino, but the coat, teeth, and paws of a jungle cat. There’s only one, but it’s large and fast and you’re doing your best just to get through the thick foliage of the jungle.

The only thing that makes you feel even a sliver better about this situation is that you can clearly see Jihoon and Hansol in front of you. As long as you’re between them and the mutt, everything will be okay.

You’re a bit too focused on the boys though, because you trip. You land with a hard thud on the ground and you can barely even think before the mutt’s on you. You let out a scream as it tears sinks it’s claws into your arm.

It doesn’t let up and you’re sure you’re going to die. You feel something digging into your side and you remember your axe is on your belt. You struggle to detach it from your belt. As you do so, the mutt moves and grabs right onto your leg with it’s teeth. You’re sure if it wasn’t for the sheer panicked state of adrenaline you’re in right now you’d be dead.

With a cry you lift your axe and slam the blade down into the skull of the mutt. The mutt’s teeth loosen up on you and falls dead. Your arms fall limp as well and you do your best to remember to breathe.

Your ears are ringing and you can hear the faint sounds of Hansol and Jihoon but your vision is starting to go and you’re scared. You’re so, so scared.

Jihoon can’t breathe. There’s a lump in his throat and a stab in his heart and you’re going to die and Jihoon can’t breathe.

He sinks down next to you and cradles your head in his lap. There’s fear in your eyes and that scares Jihoon the most, because he doesn’t think he’s seen you scared a day in his life.

“J-Ji,” you call out to him.

“Shhh, shh, I’m here. Hi, baby, I’m here.”

A tear rolls down your eyes and Jihoon quickly moves to brush it away. He doesn’t feel too far away from crying himself. There’s so much blood. So much blood and your leg doesn’t even look like a leg anymore and you’re breathing is slowing and you’re gasping for air.

“Ji, Ji,” you sob, tear freely falling now, “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die anymore. Please Jihoon.” Your fingers dig into Jihoon’s arm, pleading for his help in some way.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay, it’s okay, you’re not going to die. I- you’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.” Jihoon tries to keep the panic out of his voice as he comforts you, but he knows he’s failing. “I- Soonyoung please help.”

Jihoon cups your face with his hands, and brushes his thumb over your cheek, hoping to calm you some. Jihoon leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. The taste of salt and dirt linger on his lips.

Ding.

A parachute falls down next to Hansol. He quickly picks it up and opens it. Inside is a plethora of medical supplies and Hansol quickly gets to work. Death may work quick, but Kwon Soonyoung works quicker.

“My mom’s a medic,” Hansol explains quickly as he feeds you a couple pills. “I don’t know as much as she does, but I can do this.” His hands are shaking, but Jihoon doesn’t have a doubt in his mind that he can save you.

Hansol takes a piece of cloth and ties it around your thigh and uses a stick to twist until it’s tight. Jihoon’s never seen a medical procedure like it before but he assumes it’s to cut off blood so you don’t lose even more than you already have.

He then moves on to your arm. He takes some of your water reserves and cleans off your arm before grabbing the needle and thread that was already in your first aid kit grabbed from the Cornucopia. His fingers are still a bit shaky as is his breath as he stabs into your arm the first time. It seems like he’s also trying to keep himself from crying, the only thing stopping him is having to stitch you up. It’s clearly a novice job, but Hansol eventually patches up your whole arm.

Despite your arm being taken care of, your leg is still mangled. Jihoon can’t look at it for too long or he’ll actually throw up. He can see a bit of bone though and it’s all meaty and bloody and slightly bent out of shape.

Even Hansol looks disgusted as he looks down at it. Inside the container that Soonyoung sent is some ointment, but Jihoon isn’t sure how much that can help when you have a literal chunk of your leg gone. Still Hansol rubs it onto your skin where he can and then wraps and splints your leg.

You’ve calmed down and your breathing is soft, but steady, and Jihoon thinks it has to do with the medicine Hansol fed you at the start. Jihoon has been petting your hair the whole time, watching Hansol meticulously. There’s a tight feeling in his chest and it doesn’t go away until your body shifts just the slightest bit.

You weakly reach out for Hansol and he helps you by grabbing your hand in his. “Th-thank you.”

Jihoon’s thankful for Hansol and Soonyoung as well, but he also knows that if you don’t real help soon, you won’t make it much longer. The suffocating fear that you’re going to die creeps up Jihoon’s throat and he does his best to swallow is back down.

From that start, it was clear you were going to die. You were going to lay down your life to say Jihoon’s. It was something he had to come to terms with. Now that he’s faced with the reality of it though, he can’t accept it. Not yet. He’s not ready to let you go yet. He needs more time.

So maybe he likes you. Maybe he’s always been a little interested in you. The strong, reliable woodsman from District 7. Now you two are here together and he has you but he’s about to lose you and he can’t handle it.

Hansol gets up and leaves to go back for the supplies. Jihoon’s took shaken to do anything other than pet your hair. Hansol comes back soon and Jihoon finally gets up.

Together they make a shelter. They tie the tarp to a couple trees like a lean-to and put branches and leaves over it so it’s more hidden.

Your face isn’t in the sky when night falls though, and that’s all that matters right now.

The night is long and Jihoon doesn’t sleep a wink. He can’t, too busy monitoring you. When morning comes Jihoon finally gets a good look at you in full light. Your skin looks dull and sickly and Hansol’s stitching on your arm looks even worse in the broad daylight.

Jihoon takes a peek down at your leg. It’s still all bandaged up and Jihoon can’t even imagine the monstrosities that lay under the coverings. Jihoon can only hope that more medicine will be sent soon.

You’re sleeping right now and Jihoon keeps a hold on your hand, but only so he can keep his fingers pressed to your pulse. It’s slow and faint, but it’s there.

Soonyoung sent the group a good portion size of soup and Jihoon must think the sponsors feel bad for them. Jihoon doesn’t really care, as long as it helps you stay alive.

The next few days are slow. Other killings happen, but to other tributes, and Jihoon doesn’t really care as long as it’s not you. None of it’s okay, this whole situation is fucked up, but deep down Jihoon knows that every canon that fires gets you and him closer to winning. To surviving.

You spent most of your time sleeping. Jihoon doesn’t care though, because it seems little by little your strength is coming back. Especially with the extra healing cream Soonyoung sent. It came with a note to Jihoon to keep it up and Jihoon thinks it relates to the fake dating act they’re putting on.

Jihoon’s cried multiple times since you got attacked and he spends all of his time coddling you. Soonyoung must think Jihoon is putting on an act for the camera and the Capitol is eating it up, but little does Soonyoung know that Jihoon is genuine in everything he does. Every forehead kiss, every hand squeeze, every sweet word, he means it.

The cream is doing its job though and you’re slowly starting to recover. Your arm has healed nicely and you’re able to stand and even walk a little bit, but your leg is still messed up and it bothers you if you use it too long. Capitol technology is a wonder, but it’s still not perfect. But you’re alive, and that’s all that matters right now.

It’s down to seven tributes. You think about how that means there’s going to be family interviews. Your dad and your sister and Joshua. You miss Joshua. You’re glad the leg that got fucked up isn’t the one that has your bracelet on it because you’d honestly be more upset about the bracelet than your leg.

You’ve been dying lately though. Jihoon keeps coddling you, and it’s not that you don’t like it, but you so desperately hate being a sitting duck. You made Hansol find you a large stick that you’ve carved into a walking stick for you.

You force yourself to get up and walk every once and while. It’s been four days since you got attacked and you’ve been doing nothing for too long. Another island has sunk since then and two tributes have died, one being the other District 1 girl. Nayeon, maybe? That means it’s just three careers, your group of three, and one more tribute left.

The three careers left are the ones you like the least. Seungcheol and Jeonghan from District 2, and Mingyu from District 4. Not only do they have disgusting personalities, but they also pose a large threat to your group, especially now that you’re injured. If you don’t get your leg back in working shape soon, your whole group is in a lot of danger.

It’s the next day when you realize that you’re just about out of food. Your leg has been screaming at you since you woke up and even with the painkillers Hansol keeps feeding you, your leg is still killing you.

“We need stuff,” you groan.

“We’ll go get it, you rest,” Jihoon tells you.

“No,” you protest. “My leg is so stiff, I need to move it. Please. It’ll be okay.”

“No. Remember, you need to take care of yourself. I’m not kidding this time Y/N. Hansol and I will be back soon with food. If I found out you’ve moved from this spot, I’m not going to be a happy boyfriend.” Jihoon’s commanding voice and the use of the word boyfriend has you shutting up.

Jihoon drops a kiss on your forehead before he and Hansol head out in different directions. Just a week ago you were roaming these woods with Jihoon and killing a hog together. Wonwoo was still with you guys and he and Hansol were out finding you guys nuts and fruits. So much has changed since then.

You sigh and reach for the bag. You can luckily grab it without much effort and you grab your piece of wood and your knife out of the bag. If you can’t do anything, the least you can do is go back to your carving.

The sun is starting to move and you’re wondering where the boys are when you hear a blood curdling scream. It sounded like Hansol.

“Sol?” You call out experimentally. No response. He didn’t sound that far away. Dread starts to fill you. Something isn’t right. “Sol?” You struggle to your feet and look around frantically. Where is he?

"Y/N! Y/N!" The voice is panicked and high pitched and it makes your older sibling mode kick into gear. As quickly as you can, you start to race through the trees. Pain shoots up your leg, but you keep going. You’re not sure where you’re going but you need to find him.

"Sol-ah? Hansol!”

You nearly miss it. Nearly miss him while running, but a glint catches your eye and you sprint over. Lying on the ground is Hansol’s body, blood soaks his jumpsuit and his eyes are barely staying open. The glint you caught was his knife, still in his hand. His leg is tangled up in some jungle vines.

“Y/N?” Hansol reaches his hand up and you drop to your knees and grab onto his hand and pull it to your chest.

“What happened? Who did this?”

“The District 2 boy. I got caught in the vines. He found me and I tried to fight him off with the knife but he overpowered me.” His voice is soft, and his breathing is unsteady, his words taking a while to come out.

“I can save you. Like you saved me. I can fix this, just-”

Hansol clutches your hand tighter. “No Y/N, you can’t. You can’t save us all, it’s okay. Jihoon should win.”

You can’t save him. Hansol is going to die and you couldn’t protect him. You grab your axe and start to cut the vines away from his leg. When he’s finally free, you scoop him up and start to walk towards the edge of the island. Your leg is screaming at you, begging you to stop, but you can’t pay attention to it. You can’t when you have to focus on Hansol.

You set Hansol down on the sand and cradle his head in your lap. You don’t care if it’s fake, if it’s just made by the Gamemakers, Hansol deserves to have this. The sky is a myriad of colors over the ocean and you pet Hansol’s hair, trying not to drop tears on him.

It isn’t fair.

“It’s okay Y/N.” Hansol’s hands reach up to grab your face. He uses his last bit of strength to pull you face down to kiss your cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.” He pats around his jacket pocket before pressing something into your hand.

You press your hands over Hansol’s as his eyes go blank and his arms go limp. You close his eyes and hold his body tight to yours. A cannon goes off. You don’t move until you hear a hovercraft coming to take Hansol. You gently lay his body down and back away as he’s lifted into the air. Your own outfit is now dirty with his blood and your leg is now even worse than earlier, but you don’t care.

You look down at your hand and sitting in your palm are two matching bracelets. Faded, worn leather braided together. District tokens. You clutch them close to your chest. One belonged to Hansol, the other to Chan, his district partner.

“Y/N? Hansol? I heard yelling.” Jihoon pushes through the trees but stops when he sees you on the sand. “Y/N…?”

“He- he- I didn’t even know they were on the island. I don’t know where they came from or where they went but I couldn’t save him and now he’s-,” you can’t continue, your words getting caught in your throat. You wonder if the pain in your chest will be enough to kill you.

“Oh, oh. Oh no.” Jihoon quickly moves to you, sinking down to his knees as well. You bury your face in his chest and sob. Jihoon cries too. Soft, silent tears, his chest taking shaky breaths every once in a while.

You cry and you cry and you cry until it’s it dark out and then you eventually just…stop crying. You’re too dehydrated and your head hurts and you know that crying won’t do anything. It won’t bring Hansol back, and at it sure as well won’t help you avenge his death.

Jihoon helps you back to the shelter and you basically fall to the ground as soon as you get back. Pain is overtaking your whole body and as soon as you hit the ground your eyes white out and the world goes black. Your last thought before you pass out is that there’s only six people left now, and District 2 is going to get it.

taglist: @hotricewoozi @embrace-themagic @066hc @biromogeulworld @cinnamoroxie @hoeforcheol @milkyruins @famouspoetrydinosaur @bigtittycommitte @parkchaeyoungsbish @wooahao8 @wongyu-reads @anothershorthuman @belladaises @candidupped @justwonus-recs @im-gemmy @bumbleboxwrites

join the eat your young taglist: here!

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Re. Autism meltdown

I wasn’t diagnosed until my late 30s. Meltdowns were always perceived as negative or indulgent behaviour, and therefore punishable. Had no choice but to train myself not to demonstrate them in an outward fashion, if that makes sense. What I do however, when I’m feeling utterly overwhelmed, is more like a complete shut down. I’ll just become catatonic for hours… locked away somewhere deep inside my subconscious. Somebody knock the lights off and dump a weighted blanket on me for the love of Christ! Entirely non verbal, typically I’ll sit on my hands to prevent stimming. Feels like I’m imploding in excruciating slow motion - rage in part, but mostly shame - unfortunately I cannot project the feeling outside of myself. Even though I am not actively doing anything, I emerge from these “shut downs” exhausted and tearful… often desperate to go pee, as I’ve held it for hours. I am not reprimanded for these episodes, but neither am I commended for sparing people the “observer discomfort” that an outward meltdown would. Honestly, I feel as though I might enjoy a good scream and maybe launching a stuffed toy across the room… I just have no idea how to go about it.

Hi there,

I’ll do my best to help. I found an article going over shutdowns. It gives some tips that might help:

Sleep, sleep, sleep. A long rest is preferred but any bit of sleep helps.

As you’re coming out of the shutdown, you might experience an “emotional hangover.” In this case go easy on yourself and do recharging things like watching a movie or playing your favorite game.

Lean into the shutdown, it won’t last forever and you’ll feel better once it’s done

Watch out for what Samantha Craft, an Autistic blogger, refers to as “Implosive Thoughts” before and after the shutdown. It is similar to the shame spiral described in our Meltdown article.

Get to a safe space where you can lay down, preferably a sensory friendly place where you can be alone or with a person you trust.

Take the time you need before re-engaging. Practice some Neurodivergent affirming self care.

For Partners, Friends, Family, Bosses, Teachers, etc.

Leave the Autistic person alone. If you’re worried about them, check in gently every once in a while. Bring them food and water.

Give them time. After a shutdown, Autistics will probably need a lot of time and space to recover. It can take up to a few days. It’s nothing personal.

Understand why the shutdown happened and try to reduce any triggers you may be responsible for.

Do not push them to “snap out of it.” Doing so may harm them.

Don’t touch the person unless they give their express permission. Ask before touching.

Educate yourself on Autistic processes and traits. Understand the signs of Autistic shutdowns and meltdowns.

I’ll leave the article below in case you’d like to read through it.

I also found an personal article a person wrote about their own experience:

“We don’t talk about shutdowns as often, I think, because they are often a bit more invisible than a meltdown would be, because it’s not so much of an inconvenience on other people.

I am sitting very, still sitting, very quiet, not speaking, probably staring at the floor, at something, or out a window, and I’m just going to freeze up for a while, and I won’t be bothering anybody. Depending on the situation, or the circumstance, an Autistic shutdown could potentially go completely unnoticed.

The other thing about shutdowns is, because they often, for me, will happen when I am in very intense, emotional situations, me just shutting down and going blank all of a sudden… something I have very little control over, is sometimes taken as intentionally “shutting down a conversation” or “stonewalling” or “refusing to engage”.

“That’s because people who don’t shut down don’t understand what it’s like to suddenly become locked in on yourself like that.”

This will also be below if you want to read more:

I hope these sources can help. I’ll also tag @autistic-af and @krisrisk to see if they can provide more information/advice.

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[alwritey-aphrodite]

ten

Chapter 10 of I’ll Be Back Again To Stay

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Santiago Garcia x single mom!reader

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 2.4k

Author’s Note: this is the last chapter, but… an epilogue will be coming!!

The next day is a whirlwind.

You drop Inez off with Sofia and Frankie so she can spend as much time as possible with Maria before you leave, while you spend the day scurrying around, trying to organize and pack everything. While your flight isn’t super early the next morning, you know you’re going to be grateful that past-you had everything taken care of.

Once you’ve given up on trying to shove all of Inez’s new toys into your suitcase, you get ready to make your way to the Morales household, deciding that whatever packing you still need to do can get done when you return to Syd’s or tomorrow morning. Now, though, you need to soak up as much time as possible with all of the people you’ve met.

When you arrive, the girls are off playing in the living room and Frankie is finishing dinner, Sofia seated at the kitchen table and Benny hovering near the stove, just waiting for Frankie to scold him and shoo him away. Santiago is nowhere to be found.

You try not to let it get to you, instead letting yourself get enveloped in a hug from Benny, his strong arms squeezing you tight. When he finally releases you, you make your way over to Sofia and have a seat next to her. Inez and Maria are too engrossed in their game to even notice you’re here.

Everything’s a little too loud, the air buzzing with the noise and thrum of energy, but you’ve never felt more at home, more at peace. You didn’t think you’d be this happy here, leaving you absolutely devastated to think about saying goodbye tomorrow. You wish you could stay forever, but you know that’s not possible.

Maybe the reason why everything’s felt so magical is because of how fleeting your time is here. You have so little time to spend with Sydney, with all of the new people you’ve met, with Santi. You can’t let yourself get sad yet, not until you’re on the plane, so instead you focus on how lucky you are to have such wonderful people in your life.

Even though you’ve only just met them, you can tell they’re in it for the long haul. You already know you’ll be texting and calling Sofia as much as possible, and you’ve already made a groupchat with her and Syd so you can all talk and gossip together, even when you’re miles and miles apart.

After you've settled in, embraced the slight chaos of everything around you and accepted that Santiago probably wouldn’t show up, the door opens.

“You fucker,” Santi says, closing the door and stepping into the kitchen, pointing a finger at Benny, “you told me 7 o’clock.” Benny looks all too pleased with himself, you can tell he did it on purpose. Why, you don’t know, but you can’t help but to grin at these antics.

It feels like a weight has been lifted from your chest. Here you were, trying not to wallow in self pity at the fact that Santi didn’t want to see you one last time when really it was just Ben being the little brother of the group.

“No cursing around the kids!” Benny shouts when Santi lunges for him, even though Ben dodged him easily. Everyone’s laughing, and the atmosphere is bursting with joy, despite the look that Sofia gives Santi when he comes over to greet her.

“C’mon, we all know the girls have heard curse words before,” he says as he wraps Sofia in a one-armed hug, even as she shakes her head in admonishment. Still, she hugs him back, and he breaks away to greet you.

When you stand from your chair to get a proper hug, he wraps his arms around you, nestling your face against his neck. All you want is to stay tucked against him forever, but with one final squeeze he lets you go and steps back, so you sit down again. Santi leans against the counter, and even though there’s only a few feet between you, it feels like a cavern.

“You and Shortstack all packed up?” He asks you when there’s a lull in the conversation.

“Almost,” you respond, and then the conversation is transforming, mutating from discussions of packing tips to best vacations to dream travel destinations. You’re going to miss how easy everything feels with the group, how naturally everyone fits it.

Soon, Frankie’s calling everyone to the kitchen to come get their food, and then you have to corral Inez and Maria into the dining room to eat, because all they want to do is continue whatever make believe game they had been playing.

There’s a small part of you that wants to let the girls keep playing, wants to let them soak up as much time as possible together because you know they’ll miss each other. But, the more logical part of you knows they need to eat at the table, and you and Sofia already have plans for keeping the girls in touch.

It seems like everyone takes their time eating, drawing out the minutes spent together at the dining table, but you don’t mind at all, you’ll take any extra second you can get with your friends. It’s nice to know that you’re not the only one who’s craving more time together, not the only one trying to come up with some plan to keep everyone together for just a little longer.

When dinner’s done, you volunteer to help Sofia with the dishes, and Sydney joins you, though she does more observing with a glass of wine than actually helping. Still, it takes you twice as long than it should to get all of the dishes put away, you keep getting distracted with stories and memories and fits of giggles.

In the living room, the guys entertain Inez and Maria, letting the girls beat them in arm wrestling and thumb wars over and over again. For a while, you just sit in the kitchen and watch, unable to keep a smile off your face at the look of pure joy on your daughter’s face.

Eventually, though, you need to leave, need to finish packing and get to sleep early so you, and Inez, won’t be cranky when it comes time to leave for the airport. It takes at least a half an hour to say goodbye to everyone, an endless cycle of hugs and subtly wiped tears and shouted goodbyes until you finally exit the Morales house, making your way to Will’s car.

During your short ride back, Inez tells you everything about what she and Maria played and what they talked about and all of their plans for the future and how they’ll be best friends forever. It simultaneously warms and breaks your heart, but you just smile and nod along like you know Inez wants you to do.

When you finally return to Syd’s house, much later than you originally had planned, you give Inez a quick bath before you send her downstairs to hang out with Will and Syd for a little while so you can wrap up your packing, attempting to complete everything except for the things you’ll need in the morning.

Once you’ve reached a point in packing where you feel like you won’t be too rushed in the morning, you take a shower yourself before pulling on your pajamas and heading downstairs to soak up as much time as possible with Sydney. You can’t believe how much you took for granted during your trip, like sharing breakfast or watching TV in the evenings with your best friend, and now you don’t know when you’ll be able to see her in person again.

You take Inez upstairs a little while later, hoping that she’ll get some extra sleep and you can avoid spending all day traveling with a crabby kindergartner. She struggles to fall asleep, demanding book after book, song after song, until you finally settle Blob the Monkey into her arms and slip out of the room when you notice her eyes drooping closed.

After you creep back downstairs, you spend far too long laughing and chatting and soaking up as much time as possible with Sydney. At some point, Will leaves the two of you and heads to bed. By the time you’re sneaking back into the guest bedroom, Inez has been asleep for hours and it’s closer to the time you need to wake up than the time you should have gone to bed. Still, you’d rather be a little tired than regret not taking advantage of seeing your best friend in person.

Unsurprisingly, you hit snooze a few times before eventually dragging yourself out of bed, silently thanking yourself for the time you spent packing yesterday. Inez is already seated in front of the TV when you make your way downstairs, with Syd busy making breakfast for everyone.

After kissing your daughter on the forehead, you make your way into the kitchen, both to find some coffee and to keep Sydney company. You wish you could extend your trip, even for just a few more days, but you know leaving then would be just as, if not more, difficult. So, instead, you take advantage of the remaining time you have and lean against the kitchen counter with your coffee in hand while Syd finishes breakfast.

A few hours later, you’re hugging her goodbye at the check in desk, and trying to keep your tears in check.

“Call me as soon as you land, ok?” Syd asks you, holding you tightly by the shoulders after she’s released you from her hug.

“Of course I will,” you tell her, pulling her into one last hug and squeezing her tightly before letting her go.

Sydney hoists up Inez, holding her as tightly as possible while she giggles and tries to hug Syd back. Will pulls you into a friendly hug, telling you to take care of yourself and let him know when you get home safely.

“Alright, we’re leaving before I start crying,” Syd says as she places Inez safely on the ground, giving you one last squeeze before waving goodbye. With your bags checked and your boarding passes in hand, there’s nothing left for you to do except head towards security. But, there’s something pulling you back.

You’re not sure why, but you stand at the entrance of security for a few seconds before getting in line, as if you’re waiting for someone, as if you’re expecting someone to run towards you, bad knees be damned, to see you one last time. You know no one’s coming, so you turn and get in line for security, nodding along to all of Inez’s stories.

Security passes quickly, and Inez charms everyone working, just like last time. Soon, you’re sitting at your gate, feeling as if you’re missing something, even though you double and triple checked all of your luggage, as well as your boarding passes. Stil, the feeling presses at the back of your brain, even though you do your best to ignore it.

With your extra time, you wander around the concourse, looking for snacks and a potential lunch for you and Inez. She seems to only want the most outlandish, extravagant snacks, but you’re just trying your best to avoid a meltdown so you buy them anyway. You make sure you’re stocked up for the flight and the drive home before returning to wait at the gate.

It seems as if you’d just gotten settled when they called your group for boarding, and before you know it, the plane’s in the air. Inez is much chattier, has much more energy on your flight out that you’re grateful for all the planning past-you did, trying your best to keep her occupied with coloring books and her smaller stuffies and the movies you’d downloaded for her on your phone.

She seems content enough for the whole flight, not shedding a single tear. You, on the other hand, feel close to tears yourself.

Leaving behind all of your friends was harder than you thought it’d be, and you thought it would be pretty fucking hard. Saying goodbye to your new friends, to your best friend, to Santiago, was one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done. Sure, there’s technology to keep you all connected, but it would never be the same as seeing them in person, as just getting to sit in the same room as them, take up the same space as them.

You try not to think about it, try to push it away until you’re home and alone, where you can cry as hard as you want. For now, though, you ignore the feelings rising up in you and turn all of your attention onto Inez, making sure she’s as happy and comfortable as possible.

By trying to keep Inez occupied, you don’t get a chance to check your phone or take advantage of that in-flight free wifi. So, as soon as you land, you’re turning off airplane mode and checking your notifications while you wait for your turn to get off the plane.

You have a text from Sofia, hoping that you get home safely, and a text from Benny that says he’s going to miss hanging out with you and the kid. After responding to those, you send a message to Sydney and Will, telling them that you’ve landed safely and you’ll let them know once you’re inside your actual house.

Before you can check the rest of the notifications you’d missed during the flight, it’s your turn to get off the plane, causing you to scramble for your carry ons and Inez’s hand. Your home airport is easier to navigate, leading you to baggage claim within a few minutes, and then back to your car a few minutes after that.

You hand Inez a snack after getting her buckled, and then you head home, desperate to spend some time in your own space, especially to sleep in your own bed. The time passes quickly, with Inez recounting all of her favorite things from your trip, and soon you’re shuttling luggage into the house after setting Inez up in front of the TV.

After all the luggage is safely in the house and in the right bedroom, you flop down onto the couch beside Inez, ready to do nothing but relax for the foreseeable future. Before you can do that, though, you pull out your phone to let Syd and Will know you’re at home, and then you notice a text you didn’t check on the plane.

Wanted to let you know - I’ll come visit whenever you want me to

Tags: @zoriis @andr0medafallen @campingwiththecharmings @itspdameronthings @stevenngrant @loonymagizoologist @welcometostayingawake @outmodead @pakhiya @wand-erer5

[thelastofharrington]

you're the one that i want (pt 3)

an: hi!! thank you guys for the conistent love on the first two parts! i just write for fun but it's great that people are liking this, even if it's just a few of you out there :) i'm back with a same-day update with just a little something! i promise we're getting somewhere good lol

warnings/tags: slow burn, friends to strangers to lovers, steve is a flirt and everyone is in love with him, king!steve

wc: 976

pt 1 pt 2

“We’ll talk later”? That’s it? You couldn’t believe your ears, even three hours later at lunch. You push your food-colored mush around the tray, not feeling very up to eating after the stressful morning you’ve had. You agreed with him that you had a lot to catch up on, but for whatever reason you didn’t trust his intentions. You were finding it hard to believe that he wanted to pick up where you left off like you did. 

“Y/N please, you’re being all mopey over Steve Harrington it’s embarrassing,” Nancy remarks as she takes a bite out of whatever it is the school was calling lunch today. “There are so many cuter, smarter, nicer guys out there to mope over. You’re way better off without him.”

You sigh and look up to her, “It’s not that I want to be with him in any way! It’s just…” You trail off before continuing, “When I thought he didn’t recognize me, it’s like my entire childhood died right then and there. And then when he did recognize me but barely cared, it’s like I died right along with it. It’s just so humiliating. I’ve been thinking about him for nine years, wondering what he was like and what he was doing, just for him to barely care that I’m there at all.”

Nancy sighs before setting her fork down and looking you straight in the eye, “Look, I don’t know what kind of magical connection you guys had as nine year olds but, face it, people change. Sometimes they change for the better, other times they change for the worst. It’s just unlucky that he changed in the way that he changed and you changed in the way that you changed. Not everyone can be compatible forever.”

You take in what she’s saying and nod. Maybe she’s right, maybe you can get through this with your ego relatively unscathed. Sometimes people just change, it’s a fact of life and perhaps you were being delusional thinking that he would be waiting for you like some lost puppy after all this time. You have a midterm project to do and that’s what matters, everything else is manageable or straight-up ignorable. He wasn’t your Stevie anymore and that was that. 

“Thanks, Nance. You’re probably right. I’ll forget about him as much as I can while we do this stupid project together.

Nancy starts back on her food, “What’s your project on anyway? Mine last year was on the digestive system.”

You were so caught up in the Steve of it all that you hadn’t even looked at the paper Mr. Kaminsky had handed out detailing your assignment details. Digging through your backpack through the million syllabi and textbooks, you finally found it. You take one look at it before groaning and slamming it on the table for Nancy to read herself.

She busts out laughing, “You can’t be serious?”

“The reproductive system! Of all things!” You hide your head in your hands and groan once more. 

Nancy tries to stop herself from laughing but fails, “No, no it will be fine. I mean, to be honest, Steve will probably pay you big bucks to do it alone and slap his name on it anyway. But, God, that is funny.”

“This is going to add a whole other layer of awkwardness to it all.”

“You’ll be fine, just don’t let him try and trick you into hands on learning.” She takes a bite of her apple while you make a scrunched up, disgusted face at her. “What! We all know he gets around, and you two have a history! He’s bound to try something.”

You roll your eyes, “Trust me, he does not see me that way. He barely sees me, period.”

You wait for Nancy to respond but she does is widen her eyes and grow pale. “What, have you seen a ghost or something, Nance?”

Suddenly, an all too familiar voice pipes up from behind you, “Or something.”

You whip around to see none other than Steve The King Harrington resting his hand on the table beside you, other hand on his hip, feet crossed. Nonchalance in a stance.

He spares you the awkwardness of trying to cover your tracks by moving on and saying, “So I was thinking about our project and how it might be nice to plan out who was going to do what.”

You stutter out, “That, uh, that sounds–”

“Great? Awesome, glad to hear it. My house? 7 o’clock? You remember the address, don’t you, sweetheart?” He winks at you and turns to Nancy dropping his tone a little and drawling, “Hey Wheeler, nice sweater you got there today.”

She feebly waves back while brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. You almost swear she bats her eyes at him, and if you weren’t so shocked by his presence, you would have rolled your eyes at her. She really lost some credibility as the “forget him!” friend with that shocking display of subordinance. 

Before you can say anything else, he’s gone as soon as he had arrived. Immediately once he’s out of your line of sight you turn back to Nancy, “What the hell was that!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me! He has secret powers or something. I felt totally under a spell.”

“You’re pathetic.” You tease as she covers her face to hide the blushing. “Looks like no one is truly immune to ‘The King’.”

“You’re going to have to be if you’re going over there tonight at 7. That’s a date time.”

You scoff, “It’s a Monday.”

“The King takes no days off.”

Your incredulous laughter is cut short by the bell ringing, signaling that you had the rest of your day to get to. It was going to be a long six hours until 7 pm.

[n0madsbase]

Imagine late night drives with Doy, holding hands and talking about the future>>>

Late Nights

Pairing: Doy x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: established relationship, kissing 😱

W/C: 520

A/N: requested by anon, you can send any request you want and i’ll try write it for you

Late nights like these were my favourite, just driving around with Doy, enjoying the peace and quiet of the evening. The streets were mostly filled with college students probably enjoying a night out drinking with friends, and the air was cool with the scent of summer. It's just the two of you, no distractions, and no rush to get anywhere...

It's the perfect environment to spend time together, to talk and to truly appreciate each other's presence. Doy is driving, but he still has one hand on my leg, and he's not afraid to gently squeeze when he wants to get my attention

I reach for his hand on my thigh and intertwine our hands together, Doy then brings my hand up to his lips delicately placing a kiss on the back of my hand

“I just love this” I speak up while looking towards doy admiring him silently

He turns his head to look at me before turning his head back towards the road. “Love what?”

“Just this feeling- you know what i’m trying to say doy?” I stifle the giggle that wants to come out

“I can, just teasing you pup” The car comes to a halt at a red light and Doy turns his head to look to me and I can see the look of pure love in his eyes

“I could just do this forever” I relax my head on the headrest of the passenger seat and close my eyes and hear some rustling, I then feel a quick peck to my cheek before I reopen my eyes to look at Doy

“What, driving on the road or?” I give him a look to stop playing because he knew what I meant “Just kidding pup I know what you mean I could see us still doing this in the future, do you think you’ll still not be sick of me by then?”

“I could never be sick of you hong doeui”

“Well I hope your not, we won’t want our kids to think that you don’t like their dad” Doy says smiling teasingly

“Our kids?!” I questioned him, “Yea our kids we’re gonna have 10 kids, 5 sons and 5 dau-“, “TEN!!?”

“Yea ten kids” he begins to laugh, “You know i'm just teasing you pup”

“You’re sooo funny that I forgot to laugh hong doeui” I reply back sarcastically

“Ouch pup, the full government name” he raises his hand that’s still holding mine to his heart

There’s a few beats of a comforting silence before he starts talking again

“But in all seriousness, if you’re not in my future I don’t know what I would do”

“You’re so down bad Doy-“, “And I don’t care at all if I am- at least I embrace that I’m down bad for you pup” we both lightly laugh before calming down

Doy turns his head and smiles at me once more before he turns his head back to the road again and we return to our peaceful atmosphere we have through our quiet moments during our car rides

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter II: Like A Lover, Not A Dancer

masterlist | playlist | chapter I

summary: Your album release show goes off without a hitch. For you, at least.

tags/warnings: rockstar!reader x rockstar!gn!afab!reader, mention of reader having boobs (feel free to skip that), slow burn, pining, angst, steve is impartial and the bestest best friend forever. mentions of blood/bruises/injury (non specific)

a/n: please don’t hate me i swore i’d make this one a Real slow burn but idk how imma do that without taunting us all. Please reblog to support the author!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

Eddie’s POV

Pacing the length of his living room, Eddie talks aloud, mostly to himself, while his band mates sit along the couch, unsure how to help him out of his spiral.

“How am I supposed to mentally prepare for this? This is the biggest tour of our lives, and it’s with the one person capable of throwing me off my game. The one person that knows all of my weaknesses, everything that makes me tick. How am I supposed to be the person everyone thinks I am? They’re gonna see right through that shit.” He pivots to face his friends, and none of them can make eye contact. “Suggestions would be super appreciated right now!”

Gareth speaks then, timidly, “Ed, man, they probably feel the same way. You know all there is to know about Y/n. You’re both gonna go to extreme lengths to avoid each other just to realize neither of you have anything to worry about.”

“Yeah, my bet is you’ll be talkin’ like old friends within the first week.” Jeff chimes in. The two chuckle, until they see the expression on Eddie’s face. His lips are pressed together in a thin line, his eye twitching slightly as he attempts to keep his composure. “It’s true!” Jeff throws his hands above his head in surrender.

“Don’t get my hopes up like that, man. They broke up with me, ‘member? ‘Course ya do, I slept on your couch for a month when it happened.” His words wipe the smile from his friends’ faces. “I can’t walk around hoping and praying they’ll want anything to do with me. That can’t be who I am.” Eddie flops into the recliner across from them, defeated.

-

Your POV

You land in LA at 2:00PM, and are immediately rushed into a rental car, courtesy of Elektra Records. You’d been to California only once before, when you and Eddie had hit a restless phase and took a road trip to visit Will and El.

Now, though, instead of a big, dirty van, you’re in a sleek town car, on your way to The fucking Roxy to attend your band’s album release party. It feels like every sacrifice you’d made in the last two years finally makes sense! The planets have aligned, and you’re on the right path, or whatever the fuck. So why does your heart still hurt?

Robin grabs your hand, yanking you from your inner monologue. “We’re in LA, baby!” She’s hand in hand with Lilith, and Sylvie’s tucked into your left side. Steve pivots from the front seat to address you. “The party starts at ten tonight, be ready by seven. Call my room if you guys need anything, I’ll call when you have an hour left.”

You have to commend him, he’s got the mom thing down. “Yessir.” You all nod in unison, stifling the very laughter that kids would bite back after a mother’s lecture. But you appreciate him, there’s a reason you wanted him taking care of you. “Your performance is scheduled for ten thirty, we probably have fifteen, twenty minutes of leeway there though.”

Your smile is practically smacked from your face. “Our what?”

Steve looks up from his itinerary, matching your expression. “Did- did no one tell you?”

“I figured you told them!” Sylvie accuses, and Robin nods. You can perform on a whim, far over your stage fright after the hell you’d gone through. Performing has become cathartic, and you love a big audience. But Eddie was going to be in that crowd, and for some reason that scared the shit out of you.

“You’ll be fine! It’s not a full set, just three from the new album, bing bang boom you’re cutting a cake with your face on it.” He slaps his hands together to emphasize his point. As if on cue, the car pulls up to the hotel you’ll be staying at, and the doorman approaches to help with your bags.

-

You and Robin are sharing a room, spending the afternoon letting all your stress out as you prepare for the night.

“I just don’t get it!” You say for what feels like the hundredth time that day. “Why wouldn’t they tell us sooner?”

“My only theory,” Robin begins before blowing on her freshly painted nails, “Is that they know your history, and knew you’d try to back out if they told you. But how would they?”

They wouldn’t, you think, not to your knowledge. You never mention Hawkins, but you know Eddie does. Has he brought you up? You shake your head, shooing the thought away. “Whatever, nothing we can do now!” You pick a few clothing articles out of your suitcase, turning to Robin. “Which one?”

She smirks. “You know Eddie’s gonna be there, right?”

You shrug. “So?”

“So!” She catapults herself off the bed, taking the tight black dress between her fingers. “These will drive him fucking nuts! And I know you know that.”

You feign ignorance. Of course you’d thought about that, but why should it matter? “We’re broken up, Robin. This isn’t about him. Now which one am I gonna ruin tonight?” You hold each one up to you in the full length mirror. “The red one seems like a little too much,” You mumble, “But the black one is super nice on the melons.” You gesture to your chest, snickering.

It pulls a giggle out of Robin. “Definitely the black one, then.” She nods feverishly, and you mimic her movements, a grin stretching your mouth open.

-

Eddie’s POV

The joint burns in his fingers, dangerously close to singeing his hair before he snuffs it out in the ashtray. The California breeze is warm, inviting, but Eddie’s mood can’t be lifted even by the nice weather. He reluctantly returns from the patio, slamming the screen door behind him, causing Gareth to wince. “You alright, man?”

Eddie glares at his friend, who huffs a response. “You gotta get over it, Ed. Be professional, all that shit.” Gareth shrugs his jacket over a red and black flannel. “It’s not a big deal. You’re coworkers.”

“I guess,” Eddie sighs, pulling his boots on, tying the laces tightly. He swipes his hotel key from the bedside table, and follows Gareth to the elevator.

When he reaches the lobby, he stops dead in his tracks. Ten feet in front of him, behind his band mates, you stand with your own. You’re wearing a black dress with a denim jacket layered over it, and heavy black boots. Your hair falls to your shoulders, the color bright and impossible to miss. It takes all of his strength not to turn and run, but somehow he manages to stay put.

Jeff approaches him slowly, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’re good, man.” His voice is tired, and it’s only the first night of a very long three months ahead. Eddie nods, ripping his eyes from the back of your head. You don’t turn around, but the tensing of your shoulders tells him you know he’s behind you. He follows behind his bandmates, stalking out of the hotel room and into the car behind the one you enter.

-

Your POV

You can feel his eyes on you even after you get in the car. Sylvie puts a comforting hand on your shoulder as Robin grasps your free hand. You’re so grateful for your support system, you just wish you didn’t need it so much.

You zone out for the drive, trying your best not to think about the events lined up for tonight. More so, you’re trying not to think about how you’ll avoid Eddie all night. At your own party. That he’s attending.

Your legs start to bounce as the driver pulls around the back of The Roxy. The stage manager greets you at the door as Corroded Coffin pulls up behind you. You don’t dare glance over your shoulder, ignoring every urge to look at Eddie, and immediately let your guard down.

Instead, you part ways to your separate green rooms. Even though CC isn’t performing tonight, you assume they need the space to get away from rabid fans. It makes you slightly bitter, watching them get special treatment on a night that’s supposed to belong to you.

Lilith throws herself onto the couch in the corner. “So, I took the liberty of inspecting Eddie’s demeanor so you didn’t have to.” She taunts, crossing one stockinged leg over the other.

You pivot to face your drummer, a look of what you hope is confusion written on your face. “What?” She asks innocently. “You know I’m nosey! Anyway, he was doing everything in his power not to look at you. He caught me once.”

You chuckle. “Maybe he’ll think you’re into him and move on.” You turn back to the mirror, reapplying your blood red lipstick.

“Oh, shut up!” Lilith chucks a bottle cap at you, but it lands short. “I know you’re still into him.”

“I am not!” You really aren’t sure. You haven’t spoken in two years, mostly to make sure you didn’t give back in to him. You didn’t trust your own willpower.

“Five minutes, ladies!” A stagehand peeks her head through the doorway. You and Sylvie exchange an eye roll at her assumption. It doesn’t shake you, or even offend you, being called a lady, or a woman. You know it’s not meant as an insult, but if people would just listen to your music, it’s not that hard to understand.

The DJ set ends, and he plays Sonic Youth’s Kool Thing as your walk out music, and you relish in the way the lyrics resonate: Kool Thing sittin' with a kitty / Now you know you're sure lookin' pretty / Like a lover not a dancer / Superboy take a little chance here / I don't want to, I don't think so / I don't want to, I don't think so. You peek around the corner from backstage, into a crowd of teens and young adults, some wearing your shirts, most of them already sweating.

When the song ends, the house lights dim, and the crowd gets impossibly louder. Robin throws her bass over her head, and gives your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Ready to knock ‘em dead?”

You smile at her, and extend it to the rest of your band. The four of you huddle together.

“Okay, guys. This is it. How we do tonight is an indication of how the tour is gonna go. Now, WHO ARE WE?”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

“I SAID, ‘WHO ARE WE?!’”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

You chant together, hyping yourselves up, building to an excited babble of voices overlapping. You grab your own guitar from a stagehand, and the four of you walk on to the stage to greet a screaming crowd.

-

Eddie’s POV

His eyes don’t leave you as you make your walk to your microphone. Your dress hugs every dip and curve of your body, leaving nothing to the imagination, not that Eddie has to imagine any of it. Your lips are dark, blood red, and your hair glows under the colorful lights. Your boots are thick, platform heels that lift you an extra three inches off the ground, giving the impression that you’d stomp out anyone that crosses you. Your skin is littered with tattoos, plenty more than the last time he saw you. They cover your arms and legs, heavy lines and bright colors. You look like an art piece, one Eddie could spend the rest of his life admiring.

He doesn’t recognize the song you open with, knowing it’s a new one off the album due to be released at midnight. Your voice hooks him in anyway; raspy, sounding angry, hurt, and like you’re singing right to him. Every fight you’d ever had with him, every night you’d wept in his arms, it’s all expelling from you on that stage, and he can’t help swimming in the pain it causes him.

Eddie gets it, the way a show can calm him in an instant, he can get every piece of aggression out of him without hurting anyone else. Watching you perform for the first time since breaking up is hypnotic, making his heart skip around erratically. He turns to the bartender. “Make it a double,” he calls over the music.

“What the fuck is up, LA?!” You scream when you finish your first song, and the crowd responds with shrieks. “We are Death Dance Approximately, and it’s lovely to meet you. Welcome to our album release show!” They scream again. “Please feel free to stick around until we unveil it. This is our first single, it came out last month. It’s called Pretty Boy.”

Eddie’s eyes widen. He never expected you to play the song again, let alone make it a single, but Pretty Boy had become such a staple song for both avid fans and casual listeners. Usually he can’t listen to it, but right now Eddie can’t bring himself to look away from you as you sing the song you wrote for him.

I hadn’t slept in several days, / I hadn’t been warm in weeks, / But after you had met my gaze, / I let my body breathe. / It felt less like a heart attack, / and more like coming home. / I let your body keep me warm, / so I don’t have to sleep alone. / Pretty boy, my heart is yours, / and I hope you’ll say the same, / Cause after all these lonely nights, / I just want to hear you say my name.

It’s crazy to hear the crowd sing with you, adding ambiance to your already angelic voice. Eddie feels his breath catch in his throat, and gulps his whiskey down to suffocate it. As you move into the third song, and Eddie’s about to call it a night, he’s approached by a group of what looks to be twenty somethings, girls about Dustin’s age now.

“Holy shit,” the short girl with spiky, purple hair squeaks, shouting over the music. “You’re Eddie Munson!” She covers her mouth, as if she’s spoken something forbidden.

Eddie scratches the back of his head and laughs. “Yeah, that’s me.” It’s a welcome distraction from the self torture of watching you.

“Would you sign my tits?!” a taller girl speaks, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders and her barely covered chest.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. It’s not the first time he’s been asked, but it never ceases to weird him out a little. “Uh, sure, got a marker?”

She hands Eddie a sharpie, and he signs her skin, leaning as far away from her as he can while doing so. They shout their thanks, and walk away squealing to each other. When he pivots back to the stage, you’re on your knees, singing right into the faces of the front row. What he’d do to have you that close to him again.

-

Your POV

You finish your third and final song of the night, leaving every ounce of your soul on the floor of The Roxy. When you’ve finished, you’re sweaty, smelly, and covered in glitter. Your makeup is smudged and running down your face, and your hair is tangled and sticking out every which way, but you’ve never felt better.

In the green room, Sylvie pops a bottle of celebratory champagne. “To our first sold out show!” You hold your glass up, and everyone clinks theirs together.

“Fucking awesome, you guys.” Steve praises, sipping his own bubbly. “I’m so proud of you guys.”

“Aw, you big sap.” Robin wraps an arm around his waist. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

You join the hug, and your bandmates follow. “Thank you, Steve.” You say, quietly enough that only he hears you.

“Any fuckin’ time.” He breaks the hug with some minor objections. “Feel free to relax before making an appearance.” He checks his watch. “Just be ready before midnight, you gotta be in there for the cover reveal.”

You feel your heart speed up. The cover. Shit.

-

December 1985

“Whoa, dude, lemme see!” Jonathan and Eddie are examining his wounded hand. Jonathan brings his camera to his face, pointing the lense at Eddie’s clenched fist. “I’ll definitely be sure to get you this pic, might make a sick album cover.”

-

Eddie never did, in fact, get a copy of that picture. You did, though, and you’d made it the album cover of your debut: Tighten Up. And now you had to unveil that album in front of the man whose hand is plastered on it. Fuck.

-

The Roxy is thumping with loud music, now playing Mind Riot from the overhead speakers as fans mingle with each other, drinks in hand. You walk to the long table set up in front of the stage, where plenty of DDA fans grip their tour posters, waiting for you to sign. You’re still not used to the sheer amount of people in front of you, all there because of your music, your words.

“Okay, everyone!” Steve grabs the mic and makes his “I’m In Charge” announcements. “The band will be doing some signings, and copies of the albums are available to purchase. Please, don’t take too much time, I know it’s all very exciting but we have a lot of people to get to. Patience is key! Now, I know Y/n wants to address you before revealing the cover, so lemme pass the mic.” He hands you the mic, and you take a step toward your audience.

“Hey, guys!” You greet, and they respond with their loud, disorganized whoops. “Thank you so much for coming out. We hope we see you again tomorrow for our show with the CORRODED COFFIN!” The name drop gets its own applause, and you’re satisfied with the taunting. “But right now, without further adieu,” You grab the sheet that covers the canvas holding a blown up picture of the album. “TIGHTEN UP IS OUT!” You shout, and yank the cloth. There, in all its glory, is Eddie’s bloodied hand, rings and all, with the album title plastered over it in your chicken scratch. The crowd screams, and you have no time to wonder what Eddie must be thinking right now.

-

Eddie’s POV

What the fuck. He’s not sure if he’s seeing it right. His own hand, clenched in a fist, covered in some jock’s blood, on the cover of your debut album. He catches Gareth’s eyes, and makes an “I don’t know” face, that Gareth only returns with confusion. Eddie isn’t sure how to feel. Will people recognize his rings? Are their fans that crazy?

Before his brain can stop him, he’s walking further into the crowd, towards you. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, if he’ll even say anything. Instead, he watches you for awhile, talking to your fans like they’re your closest friends as you scribble on their posters and CDs, and pose for pictures. You look comfortable, at peace, and there’s no way he’d want to ruin that. He takes a gulp of his new drink, feeling the effects of the alcohol in his bloodstream.

“Hey,” It’s Steve, with a beer in his hand. “Sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t think it was my place. And to be fair, Y/n had no inkling you’d ever see it, especially like this.” He takes a sip, waiting for Eddie’s response.

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the clenching in his gut. “Nah, it’s cool. Really cool, actually. Didn’t know they still thought about me that much.”

Steve hands him a copy of the album. “See for yourself.”

Eddie grips the jewel case in his hands, and opens the album. The disc has the same picture printed on it, and the jacket unfolds to reveal the other picture taken that night, the one of his hand on your throat, covered with lyrics to songs titled Indiana, and Underneath Hell. He can make decent guesses as to what they’re about.

“Go say hi.” Steve shoves him a little, more playful than aggressive.

“Are you serious? I don’t wanna ruin their night.”

“You won’t,” He takes another swig, “I think it might make you both feel better. Cut the shit, get it over with. You’re gonna be stuck with each other all spring, might as well.”

Eddie downs the rest of his whiskey, letting the liquid burn his throat as the buzz takes over. Steve offers his hand, and Eddie gives him the glass. “Here goes nothin.’” He huffs, and disappears into the mob of fans. Many turn their heads, giving double takes when they realize who he is. He ignores the shouts to get his attention, not wanting to draw it away from you. Steve is only steps behind, guarding him from being grabbed at as he snakes to the front. Steve reaches the mic stand, and announces that the band is going to take a break, and to enjoy the refreshments. Eddie watches as you look from your manager, to your bandmates, and then to him.

-

Your POV

Eddie doesn’t look away when you meet his eyes. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his jeans, and he’s chewing on his lip nervously. You look to Steve again. “What’s happening right now?”

“Would you just go say hi? Act like you know the guy a little.” He shoulders you, causing you to stumble slightly. “C’mon, the rest of you,” Steve addresses the band, “Go take a break, sit down, have some water.” Steve looks back over his shoulder, and waves Eddie over. “You two, go catch up in the green room or something. I’m not letting you both be fucking weird this entire tour. Mingle.” He’s being serious. He ushers you backstage, and finally separates himself to join your friends, leaving you alone with the only person you probably shouldn’t be alone with.

You crack open a beer and take a large gulp. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

-

chapter III

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills | send a message to be added🫶

[softerhaze]

apparently, you can’t ask the moonwood mill townies questions that prompt special answers once they join your household. so, i decided to grab all of lou’s responses from the string table :) i’m gonna post them here for future reference and in case anyone else wants to see what he says!

"Kristopher's a pretty cool Werewolf to have taken in everyone he has. Of course, he didn't take me in... so he kind of missed taking in the coolest wolf, but hey, he does an adequate job."

"I love me some PowerSip MIDNIGHT! I'm glad they're always fighting the legal battles to make their next big flavor. Who wouldn't want to taste MIDNIGHT? Seriously, they must have some spellcaster brewers making the stuff. How else do you harness the essence of night?"

"So I've snatched a few things over the years. A future cube, a few paintings, some children's toys—which I donated, so don't look at me like that! The best thing I ever took was a piano. Don't ask me how I did it. That's a secret."

"How did I end up in Moonwood Mill? Well, I stole a few things I probably shouldn't have, and I was on the run. I figured nobody would find me way out here in the middle of the wilderness. Guess I was right."

"Who doesn't want to be an immortal wolf? I hear you need to be pretty powerful to pull it off. Don't worry, I'll get there soon."

"Not sure how I feel about the concept of fated mates. Like, ONE Werewolf? FOREVER?? That's a lot of commitment."

"So I asked Celene out on a date, yeah. We were going for a walk over that bridge, when I heard a helpless kid or something crying for help. I'm a pretty nice guy, so I was like, ‘Hey Celene, we gotta go help the kid.’ We braved going past those signs and all that, and we ran into Greg. Well, I had to try and protect Celene. She was pretty scared! So I ran up to him and suggested Greg leave us alone. No taunting or anything, just a stern suggestion. He didn't take kindly to that, and well... here we are. That's the truth of it all!"

"I'm not sure I like the idea of Vampires. I guess most Werewolves don't... Spellcasters on the other hand? They sound pretty cool. I'd get together with one."

"Greg is kind of a problem. We all know it. I don't know why he came here in the first place if he doesn't want to join a pack and live like the rest of us."

"The Moonwood Collective isn't really my scene. They're too into nature. Have you seen them leaning on that old tree? No fire anywhere? BORING."

"Rory was a lone Alpha until I joined her pack. It just felt right to me. We're a good fit as a pack and I like how she encourages me to explore being a Werewolf."

"Who knows if I'd take a cure or not. I mean, right now? No. My pack is pretty cool. I'm still figuring out everything I can do. Why would I want to give that up?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll admit that I feel kind of bad about what happened to Celene. I know she was pretty traumatized by it all. She, well... we were both pretty scared. I don't know, I don't think I want to talk about it, even with you."

"When you're the new wolf on the block, you'll notice that you certainly have less control than the others. Give it time, it gets better."

"I'm always getting asked why I didn't take the antidote after our encounter, like Celene did. Well, I figured I was strong enough to ride it out. It was just a small bite! I guess I was wrong... "

"Just because I'm all about embracing the inner beast doesn't mean I'm opposed to someone seeking a cure. Be true to you. That's what's important. Just don't try to make me take it!"

"If I wasn't a Werewolf, I think I'd want to be a Mermaid. Surprised? Eh, don't be. They also have a connection to the moon, you know? With the tides and all that. Did you know mermaids can stay out of the water longer during a Full Moon?"

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Shin Maniac [05]

ー The scene starts in the guest room at the Tsukinami manor

Shin: ( ...I haven’t heard anything back from Nii-san. )

( He’s never been this late to give out his orders... )

( Don’t tell me he’s hesitating on what to do...? )

( Or alternatively, Eindzeit hasーー )

ー Yui walks up to him

Yui: ...Shin-kun?

Shin: ...Yes?

Yui: Your tea will go cold. Could it be...Would you have preferred another flavor?

Shin: Aahーー My bad. I was just a bit lost in thought, that’s all.

Yui: ( Shin-kun...He seems kind of down. )

*Groooowl*

Shin: Hm? ...Could it be Nii-san?

*Flip*

Shin: Aahーー It’s this one, huh?

Yui: ...? It’s not from Carla-san?

Shin: Yeah, seems like it. ...

*Flip* 

Shin: ーー Go pack your things at once. We’re heading back to the Demon World.

Yui: Eh...?

Shin: No buts. We’re short on time so get to it.

Yui: ( I can’t believe he suddenly decided to go back to the Demon World...What could have happened? )

Selection

→ Ask why

Yui: Hey, Shin-kun. Why are we going back to the Demon World all of a sudden?

Carla-san hasn’t given you any orders yet, has he?

Shin: Haah...So what? I’ll make sure to do as he says as soon as I get a message from him. 

But I have a plan too. I hope you realize that.

Yui: ( R-Right... )

→ Don’t ask anything (❦)

Yui: ( I’m sure Shin-kun has a plan. )

( I’m sure he has a good reason for not telling me why. )

( I probably shouldn’t try to pry into it, huh? )

Shin: Heeh...So you won’t ask any questions? 

Yui: Eh...?

Shin: ...Nah. I figured you’d understand. 

Shin: Come on, I’ll leave you behind if you dawdle. 

Yui: ...!! One secーー

ー Kino suddenly walks into the room

Kino: ーー Hey there. Sorry, am I interrupting something?

Yui: ...!

Shin: ...Aah, you’re finally here.

Kino: Ahaha, did you miss me that much? I feel honored...

Shin: You wish.

Kino: ...Ouch. Hey, you didn’t forget to ask your beloved brother his answer to the thing we discussed the other day, did you? 

Yui: ( His answer, to the thing from the other day...? Does that mean Shin-kun went to see Kino-kun...? )

Shin: We can call the whole thing off if you can’t wait.

Kino: Eeh? So you haven’t heard back from him yet. ...What a shame.

...Oh well. But I don’t have forever, so hit me up as soon as possible.

Also...If you end up rejecting my offer, I believe it should go without saying that you’ll make it onto my hit list as well.

Yui: Hit list...?

Kino: They’ll become prey. In this Demon hunt.

Yui: ...!

Kino: Okay, see you later. Make sure...to keep what I said in mind.

ー Kino leaves again

Shin: ...

ー The scene shifts to the outside of the Tsukinami manor

Kino: Hm...This kind of smells fishy. I wonder what that idiot is thinking...?

Hey, Yuuri. What do you think?

ー Yuuri walks up to him

Yuuri: ...I believe it would be best to wait and see for now.

Kino: I think so as well. In that case...I want you to follow them once they’ve left.

Yuuri: Roger.

Monologue

Since I was completely unaware,

that the two of them met up to discuss something,

I could not hide my bewilderment (動揺),

when the words ‘Demon hunt’ fell from Kino-kun’s lips.

What exactly did they talk about...?

And what are Kino-kun and his comrades,

hoping to achieve (目的) by hunting down Demons?

Amidst a state of confusion,

I tried my best to make sense of everything...

For now, I did as Shin-kun told me to,

and packed my stuff.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[zaenaris]

What would you like for your birthday?

🎂it’s Inupi’s birthday!🎂

🎁Kokonui/Inukoko 🎈Words: 2350 🎉 feat. Akane (alive, for once) as special guest and nr. 1 inuneko supporter🫶

Just something short set in the final timeline for Inupi's birthday.

“And enlighten me, Inupi, why should I waste all that money on your birthday gift?” “Because-” Seishu stopped himself just in time. Probably saying because you love me would have been a little too much, considering that, while they have been dancing around the topic for a while, and they even almost kissed once, before being inadvertently interrupted some of their Toman’s subordinates, they never really talked about their feelings for each other. “Because I’m your best friend and you care about me”

Read more under the cut or on AO3

After Toman’s disbanding, days passed by quietly for the two of them.

Seishu knew that day would have come, just like it happened with Shinichiro’s Black Dragon. He was just happy he lived those days and they would have been forever in his heart. So he accepted it, but it also meant that they were all growing up, and sooner or later, they’d have to choose their path.

It was inevitable, that’s why, even without the gang, he just wanted to enjoy those days. He was excited for the future but he also knew he and Koko wanted to do different things. Koko wanted to go to university while Seishu wanted to become a mechanic and he already convinced Shin to make him work for him a couple of days a week starting from the next year. So in the end, he cared even less about school and studying. The only reason why he kept showing up at school (besides his nagging parents) was that he just wanted to be with Koko as much as possible. He never admitted it out loud, but he knew that was the reason. Which was the same reason why Koko decided to join a bike gang all those years ago when he never showed any interest in bosozoku nor motorcycles. They just wanted to be together, and while it was clear to anyone, neither of them ever dared to speak clearly to the other.

So that’s how they ended up wandering for the city, on a lazy Saturday, a few days before Seishu’s birthday.

“So Inupi, is there anything you want for your birthday?”

“The red pair of Louboutin we saw earlier”

“Something that doesn't cost an arm and a leg?”

“The black and gold Versace outfit”.

“You think you’re funny, right?”

“Very much”.

“Well, unfortunately I’m still not rich enough to afford any of that, and we’re not in a gang anymore, so I guess stealing your gift is out of question; sorry Inupi, I guess you’ll have to settle for my birthday wishes” Koko stuck out his tongue, grinning at his friend.

“That’s okay, one day when you’ll be rich with your big company, you’ll buy me all those things, I can wait”. Seishu smiled back, jokingly.

“And enlighten me, Inupi, why should I waste all that money on your birthday gift?”

“Because-” Seishu stopped himself just in time. Probably saying because you love me would have been a little bit too much, considering that, while they have been dancing around the topic for a while, and they even almost kissed once, before being inadvertently interrupted some of their Toman’s subordinates, they never really talked about their feelings for each other.

“Because I’m your best friend and you care about me”

“You really have high hopes, right?” Koko smirked. “No but seriously, is there anything you’d like?”

Seishu just shrugged.

“Koko, you know I don’t care about that stuff. I guess Mom, Dad and Akane are thinking about something, just join them and that’s it”.

“Whatever, I’ll think about it”.

The weather was still nice, and the city was tinged with the warm fall colors, but it was starting to get chilly in the late afternoon especially after the sunset. They walked side by side to reach the subway to come back home. Hajime sometimes couldn’t help but stare at Inupi, who apparently was a human radiator and was perfectly fine going around without any jacket nor scarf, while he wished he had something warmer on. Hajime noticed Seishu was letting his hair grow since their delinquent days were over. He remembered how pretty he was, with his hair longer. Inupi was always pretty of course, it was just he would have been even more ethereal… he needed to stop thinking about that.

“Anyway, it’s kinda weird now without Toman, right Inupi?”

“Yeah, we almost have too much time…” a small nostalgic smile appeared on his friend’s face. “But it was nice, while it lasted; I’m happy one day when we’ll be adults we’ll think about those days fondly. It’s just annoying that we never decided who had to be vice-captain between the two of us. I think Mikey, or at least Taiju should have had decided in the end.”

“You’re lucky, because it should have been me, obviously,” Koko teased.

“And why? You never cared about joining a gang, you just followed me. You don’t even have a bike”.

“Because I’m smart, and obviously the more qualified”.

“Being an honor student is not a requirement to be in a gang, and I’m a better leader than you, subordinates need to see the passion in their leader’s eyes!”

“I am passionate! And I can also fight”.

“You’re half blind”.

“You never beat me”.

“We never had a real fight!”

“Well, I could take you”. Hajime realized, one second later, that his last line could have been easily misunderstood. He felt himself flushing when they both turned around, hearing a crystalline laughter.

“It’s always good to see you guys getting along”. Akane just joined them, greeting them with her usual warm smile; she was probably coming back home too.

“Yo”.

“Good evening Akane-san”.

“Is it me or is it starting to get cold?” She started walking arm in arm with her little brother, to fight the crisp evening air. Hajime would have wanted to imitate her, Inupi’s left arm was just there, almost an invitation.

Seishu shrugged. “Don’t know, I’m okay”. He tried to get closer to Koko, making him understand that it was okay to grab his arm, but now that his annoying big sister joined them, Koko would have never dared. Seishu would have definitely preferred walking arm in arm with Koko, especially since there was no one around except them.

“What were you talking about?” she asked curiously.

“About how unfair it is that neither of us was declared vice captain of our Toman’s division before its disbanding,” Koko summarized.

“Wait, Toman disbanded?? Seishu, you didn’t tell me!”, Akane exclaimed.

“Do I have to tell you everything?” he sighted, annoyed.

“Of course not, but I’m your sister, and the gang was so important to you! You don’t talk to me anymore” she pretended to wipe a tear. “He was so cute when he was younger and used to tell me everything, right, Hajime-kun?”

Hajime found himself being stared at by two pairs of identical green eyes, waiting for his answer.

Devils.

Devils with angel faces, that’s what the Inui siblings were.

At that point of his life, Hajime had the intellectual honesty to admit that his childhood friends really won the genetic lottery, it was a fact; when he was younger and used to have an honestly embarrassing crush on Akane that lasted for a few months, he fooled himself believing that Akane looked like Seishu, but she was pretty, when it was obvious he was trying to avoid the implications of his own reasoning. Now he was self aware enough to know that, while they both were objectively stunning, the one he had a crush on, since he was thirteen, was Inupi. But he knew better, answering Akane's trick question would be foolish, she just loved to affectionately tease them endlessly. He just hoped Inupi wasn't in the mood to join her in that little game.

“Everything I say can and will be used against me, I’m not answering without my lawyer” Koko declared, knowing when it was the right moment to give up the fight. Akane just laughed, while Inupi, with a deadpan expression simply commented “Boring”.

Koko sneaked a glance to Seishu.

He was cute, of course, and he wanted to be able to say it to him.

He though about that day, still very vivid in his mind, when they almost kiss; that would have made things easier, because now they were in a limbo, incapable of talking, but knowing they had to clarify what they were. And Koko was afraid because he knew it wouldn’t have been easy openly saying it to anyone, starting from their friends, then at school, and in the future, in university and at job, let alone his family, that he had a boyfriend; he suffered because of that, realizing he liked a boy and not only some random boy, his best friend; but if it was for Seishu, he wanted to try his best, even if there were moments were he felt wrong to be like that. He had the impression Akane already knew what was going on and she seemed supporting. Maybe it was just his impression, but he hoped that at least Akane would have been on their side.

They finally reached the subway, looking for a not too crowded wagon. Their stop was one of the last ones, so at some point they found a seat, where they could finally relax. Hajime and Seishu roamed around the city the whole day, spending some quality time together, and while it was fun, they definitely needed to rest. Akane too apparently, since she fell asleep a few moments after taking a seat. Seishu followed her example. As people got off, Akane, Seishu and Hajime were the only people on the wagon.

Hajime sighted. Sometimes he envied Seishu’s and Akane’s ability to just fall asleep anywhere at any time. But at least, that gave him an excuse to stare at Inupi. He was sleeping peacefully, his head against the window, with his head tilted toward Koko.

“Inupi… It was something unplanned, Koko barely recognized what he was doing. He got closer and closer to Inupi, he could have counted his eyelashes. He could feel his regular and deep breath against his lips. He closed his eyes. He was so close…

“Koko” He stopped immediately, when he realized Inupi's green eyes were staring at him.

Seishu was awake and was staring at his friend with an expression that would have appeared neutral to many people, but Koko could recognize his surprise and… something else? Koko’s heart was beating fast. He didn’t know what to do? Did he make a mistake? Of course he did, what was he thinking?? Maybe Inupi changed his mind?

“Inupi, I’m-” “Do it”.

It took all of Seishu’s resolution to say those two little words. He knew he was flushed and he probably looked pathetic, but he didn’t care. He wanted Koko, he’d known it for years; he was afraid because he knew it wouldn’t have been easy but he didn’t care about anything nor no one else, besides what Koko wanted. And if Koko wanted him just like he did, there was no reason to keep waiting.

"Are you sure?” Koko asked, faltering.

Seishu nodded, his turn to get closer to Koko’s lips.

Their first kiss was shy, their lips moving hesitantly without really knowing what to do, but it was full of the love they were finally able to express. When they separated, they smiled, content.

“At least I was awake”, joked Seishu.

“That’s so embarrassing, I’m so sorry Inupi, I had no idea what I was doing”. Koko was genuinely mortified.

He cupped Seishu’s face, still flushed.

“May I try again?” He wanted to make things right.

Seishu nodded, closing his eyes. Their kiss was possibly even sweeter than the first one, more languid and less scared. They lost in each other’s taste, in each other’s breath. They were in their own world. It was just the two of them, and it was perfect.

***

It wasn’t her intention to eavesdrop, but they were literally sitting next to Akane and clearly they weren’t paying attention to what was going on. She tried to pretend to be asleep, hoping they wouldn't notice her smile. She was happy for them; after all those years, they finally realized their feelings for each other.

***

Akane stretched out her arms when the train approached their stop, pretending to wake up at that precise moment, making some noise and yawning on purpose. Luckily Seishu and Hajime got the hint and when she opened her eyes, they were acting nonchalantly.

When they got off the train, Akane waved them goodbye. She had a sleepover with some friends that were waiting for her.

So Seishu and Hajime walked back home together. It was awkward but exciting at the same time and, tentatively, Seishu tried to reach Hajime’s hand. They intertwined their fingers and walked around their quiet and empty neighborhood hand in hand.

They were approaching Koko’s house, but Seishu didn’t want to leave him, not yet.

“Inupi?”

“Koko?”

“Sorry”

“No, no, tell me!”

Seishu took courage to speak. “Do you want to stay for dinner?” It was a simple request and Koko had dinner together with the Inui family so many times it shouldn’t have been that awkward, but something big had just changed n their relationship. For the better, but it felt so new and different.

“Of course” And then Koko remembered. “My parents aren’t at home, Inupi, so, if later you want to, we can go back at mine, watch a movie, play some video games, you can sleep at my place” he asked, hoping it wasn’t too much.

“I’m glad you asked, I don’t think I’d be able to think of anything else besides you even if we were separated,” confessed Seishu with a smile on his face.

“Same for me, I just hoped I wasn’t imposing”. Koko joined him with a laugh.

“No, you’re not”.

They passed Koko’s house, approaching Seishu’s.

“So… I guess now we’re officially together, right?”

“I sure hope so Inupi, I usually don’t kiss people randomly” Koko smirked, meeting Seishu’s equally smiling face.

“I think this is the best gift I could ask for. The only one I really wanted to be honest”.

Seishu hugged Koko, just happy to be with his best friend, now also boyfriend. Koko hugged him back.

“Good to know I picked the right one in the end. Is it a problem that you got your gift a few days earlier?” Koko asked playfully, sticking his tongue out.

“Not at all.”

They kissed again. That night was only theirs.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

MAC don't throw h/c at me and leave!!

I need more!

I need more of rin thinking he never escaped his father, he's still a young boy and his father will get angry because he's sick. Ron will never find the strength to leave, he will probably be dead in a couple of years if he's lucky, never meet Chris, the man he obviously dreamed because he's too good for him. He will never be that close to his tommy, he wants to, but he'll never get old enough for that.

But it was a good dream, a nice one, he would like to stay in that dream a little longer if he could. It would mean not waking up in the not dream life, and Tommy would be sad, but he likes the dream, and Tommy's there. tom and Chris are so terrified they don't know how to make him see that it's not a dream, they saw him feverish, but never like that. Never to the point he can't separate dream and reality

You know I’m always happy to write…

Tw! implied abuse/ some darker thoughts coming from Ron.

It’s only time until his dad forces him up. He guesses he might as well just stay in this dream. He’s warm in a way he never normally is.

Ron looks grown up when he looks around. There’s cowboy hats on the posts of the bed. Huh. Cool. He always did think cowboys were hot.

He keeps looking until he catches sight of a man. He flings himself backwards to escape. He assumes it’s his dad just waiting for him.

“Woah! Ronnie it’s okay baby! Tom will be back in a second.”

Ron starts to cry. Why does this angel sound so worried about him. Did he finally escape? Is he free?

There’s a bang from farther in the house. It makes him jump. Not free. Never free.

A taller blond man walks in with a mug. “Hey hon.”

Ron blinks at him. He knows that accent. “Tommy?”

The man grins at him. “Hey! You back with us?”

Ron stares at the man- no. Tommy. Looks at fake Tommy.

“I’m dreaming huh. Guess this is good as any. But please don’t make me go back I’m sorry.”

The sitting man smacks Tom’s shoulder. “What is he talking about.” Tom shrugs. “Back where Ron?” “Why are you sorry?”

Ron can feel the tears go down his face. “Home. Back to him. I can’t. I won’t. I’ll run. Try to come back here even if it kills me.” Fake Tom slides onto the bed to touch his head. It feels so close to being real.

“I’m sorry because I got sick. Not supposed to be sick. Weak. Can’t be weak. Wasting good time. Miserable disappointing kid.”

He gets a kiss brushed across his head. Ron grabs Tom before he can leave. Figures it might be his only chance to tell Tommy he loves him. “I love you. Always have. If staying here means I won’t see you again though I want to go back. I need my Tommy.”

“Baby you don’t ever have to be sorry.”

Ron turns his head to look at the other man. “You’re an Angel right? Sent to watch me?” The man laughs. “My name is Chris but sure okay.”

Ron nods. Good name. Cute guy for him to imagine up. “You’ll take care of this Tommy right? I’ve gotta go take care of mine. Even if dad might kill me.”

Chris smiles. It’s such a forced smile. The tears are streaming down his face. “Course I’ll take care of him. You’ll be back to help take care of him. Don’t you worry about it. Go to sleep yeah?”

Ron makes a grabby hand at him. “Wanna Go back with you two holding me. Sounds safer.”

Chris slides on the other side of the bed and presses a kiss to Ron’s head. “It’ll be okay. You end up living through it.”

Ron drifts off again. He fears the wake up he’ll get next but knows he’ll treasure this one forever.

—

Once Ron falls back asleep Tom sits up. He scrubs his hands across his eyes to get rid of the tears. He feels a hand brush over his shoulders. “Is he gonna be okay?”

Tom laughs. He can’t help it. “I don’t know. He’s not dreamed of his dad in years. The last time was probably when we were 20.”

Chris nods. He brushes a hand through Ron’s hair. “He’ll be okay. He’s got us.” Tom can only nod. He can’t shake the image of 13 year old Ron covered in bruises.

14 year old Ron almost dying.

17 year old Ron falling into the lake and crying because he wanted his grandmother.

20 year old Ron begging Tom to not take him back to his father.

Tom shudders. Chris pulls him over Ron’s lap. Tom puts his face into Chris’s neck.

“It’ll be fine. If the fever doesn’t drop by tomorrow night we’ll go to the hospital.”

Tom kisses the side of Chris’s neck. “Thank you for taking care of this.” Chris shrugs. “I don’t have the memories y’all are both having during this. It’s easier.”

-

They drift off like that. Ron’s fever breaks in the morning and he’s very excited to find that it wasn’t a dream. He actually doesn’t really remember thinking it was a dream. Knows they talked the night before but can’t remember what about.

Tom and Chris decide to not bring it up. They’ll protect him from his memory.