#you cant even tell that i dont wanna do my homework

[absurdumsid]

Okay so imagine if killer leaned how to spell from color meaning he would spell stuff in uk English and dust learning how to spell in us English do you think they both would get into arguments about the way to spell stuff?

the concept of british colour sans is sending me

Killer! Sans belongs to rahafwabas Murder! Sans belongs to ask-dusttale

[hearties-circus]

Most uncomfortable extra maths support period of my life g-ddammit

[citrusitonit]

am i the asshole for just being uncomfy when my older sibling just has a whole sobfest and breakdown and walks around while doing it and i just i just wanna leave

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

What They Text You: Applies to any...cause they're all a bunch of dorky teens and i dont care what anyone says.

Leo:

• look at my new plant

• would you like to have tea tomorrow?

• you look so pretty 😍 leo you cant see me and? i bet you do

• am i really an old man???? 😭😭😭

• be honest, do you think raph can beat me in an arm wrestle? if you dont answer in 5 minutes, i will assume it's yes and i will prove you wrong.

• good morning honey. have a wonderful day today! ❤️

• are you still mad at me...? LEO YOU SET MY MICROWAVE ON FIRE. so is that a yes?

• have you eaten yet? you need to eat...and drink something other than (your favorite drink)

• i got benched because i can't stop throwing up. i'm fine! leo...you threw up blood literally 10 minutes ago. it was only a little 🙄

• i'm in desperate need of a kiss right now.

• check out my new katanas

• remember that i love you 🥰🥰❤️

• for the last time, i wont download tik tok. you know how bad i hyperfixate 😠

• stop playing candy crush and pay attention to me

• keep it up and you won't get the knots worked out of your shoulders.

• mikey just called me a boomer...i feel like i should be offended. you are a boomer. I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

• y/n, i love you, but for the love of god, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCKS.

• *drunk* im in a relationship why do i have your name as my love cause my girl/boyfriend/partner will definitely not like that and i dont know who you are but they will kick your ass and i dont even feel sorry cause you arent love leo...you're drunk. NO IM TAKEN

• call me cause i would like to hear about your day and i miss you

• i love you my love ❤️

Raph:

• come watch me bench im bored

• can you please come get mikey before i hit him?

• wear that giant sweatshirt to our date. ya look adorable in it

• why did you ask donnie to help you with your homework?? um...cause it's about neurons and receptors in the brain. i could've helped with google! 😒

• YOU NEED TO COME KILL THIS COCKROACH RIGHT NOW.

• hey babe. how was your day? ❤️

• have i ever told you how beautiful you are? what did you do. nothing...? i just think you're beautiful. raphael. fine..i broke casey's nose. AGAIN!?!

• i'm so tired...wanna come nap with me?

• facetime me so i can show you this cool trick spike can do

• remember how i said i was going to be more level headed? well donnie's new robot almost broke my arm and it's no more. you lasted 1 day more than the last time.

• *you sent a selfie* yeahhhh that's my baby 😍😍

• eat or im fighting you.

• jokes on you ive always been completely unhinged and it's bold of you to think i cant be worse.

• im sick. can you bring me some soup? 😣

• i miss you like a lot and i hate when you're gone

• i love you a whole lot 😘

• im just gonna start carrying you everywhere if you dont stop tripping over NOTHING. im just gonna trip harder. Y/N NO.

• mikey said we're his parents just an fyi. he's always been my son

• i made waffles. you better come eat some

• damn babe you're fine 🤤

Donnie:

• no i wont do your homework for you

• tell shelldon to stop talking back to me before i ground him for eternity

• im in a house of IDIOTS. technically it's a lair. not now y/n.

• you look like a pile of swans in that sweater 🥰

• i can't sleep. wanna play online scrabble?

• sweetie you need to eat more than a bag of gummy worms and a bag of doritos

• you need to come sit with me while i work because i need an extra set of eyes. you just miss me 😏 don't start.

• don't call a plumber! i know how to fix the sink. i got this 😎 donnie the pipe exploded the last time you "had" this.

• *you sent a selfie* you look nice

• im gonna blow up. a person, a thing, a place, all of the above? yes.

• you need to drink straight broth, it'll help soothe your stomach ache

• im dying. you have a cold.

• i love you but please stop trying to assemble ikea furniture on your own.

• good luck on your exams/work project! 😘

• TELL RAPH TO STOP PICKING ME UP TO MOVE ME.

• leo just called me an asparagus. i didn't know how to respond so his phone will self destuct in 5 minutes. DONNIE.

• you're so pretty 🥺

• i made you something and you have to come get it right now. im literally about to have my wisdom teeth out. reschedule it

• listen to the playlist i made you or else im disabling your pirated tv show service

• thanks for listening to me 💜

Mikey:

• babe come snuggle with me

• i made you brownies so come eat them with me while we watch crognard

• i haven't seen you in so long 😭 you saw me this morning. BUT THAT WAS HOURS AGO

• angelcakessssss i love you

• look at this cat video i found

• FACETIME ME THERES A PUPPY

• are you awake? mikey it's 3 am. good, so would you still love me if i was a worm? go to sleep.

• i bet you look like a cuddly bear today 🥰

• im so hungry. can you bring me ice cream?

• raph wont stop being mean to me. can you beat him up? cause a (your height) tall human can beat a 6ft turtle's ass 😑 i believe in you.

• im coming over with my new call of duty game and we're having a game a thon!

• i found a cat. mikey no. his name is gerald. MIKEY WE ALREADY HAVE 10 OF THEM. HALF ARE NAMED GERALD.

• i made you a mixtape i cant wait for you to hear it

• how mad would you be if i crashed the shell razor in a derby and broke my arm? very. then i did not do that.

• im sick. come help me feel better 😭

• call me cause april just told me something about casey that's wild

• i found this cool rock that i think you'll like

• it's so cool i can date you. you're for real the coolest. you broke my coffee table again didn't you? no...maybe.

• im bringing you lunch cause my baby needs to eat!

• this song reminds me of you 💕

[akaakeis]

hi sav !! 2, 15 and 21 for your ask game !! i wanna make sure you’re drinking enough water AND eating enough!! make sure to eat and take care of yourself <33333 i hope your day was great(and you can totally talk about it to me if you’d like!!)

aaa hi dear!! so happy to see u in my inbox <3 i think u double sent this ask so ill just reply to this one !!

2 - Show or talk about your most recent work of art? (Does not have to be a drawing or painting. Anything counts.)

ooo i would say my most recent work of art is this oikawa oneshot !! im definitely proud of it :) i was gonna talk about and show a recent drawing but since anything counts.. this is the most recent <3

15 - Have you drank a liquid recently? (If not, find something to drink!)

YES I HAVE!! i have a drink from the airport its a kiwi strawberry vitamin water thingy and ITS SO GOOD I LOVE IT SM??? DONT FORGET TO DRINK SOMETHING AS WELL SAE

21 - Something you are excited for?

aaa i don't have anything that im particularly excited for at the moment! OH im excited for this hoodie that i ordered to arrive tho!! it's a tour hoodie for niki- shes one of my fav music artists! <3

...also since u offered 😼 my day was really weird idk? let me give u a rundown!! so picture me staying up until like 4 am for my cousin's bday party screaming karaoke, dancing, having pillow fights, giving a speech... all that... i was so so so tired bro omg. when i gave my speech i cried so yeah and i also lost my voice during karaoke since we were singing bruno mars a lot 😭 BUT THAT WAS ALL YESTERDAY FOR ME ONTO TODAY!! when i wake up im exhausted im dazed and confused fr AND MY THROAT HURTS!!!

so i get out of bed and we have guests over (i was sleeping over at my cousins house btw) and theres this one woman w a daughter my age- she's super friendly and she really likes me idk 😭 she sees me and she keeps lightly pushing and tapping my shoulders and like... putting a hand on my knee? as she talks to me? one thing about me, im not the fondest of physical touch unless i initiate it so that was super duper uncomfortable blergh

BUT AFTER THAT I HEADED TO MY AUNTS HOUSE BC WE HELD THE PARTY LAST NIGJT THERE so we went over to clean up!! it was pretty smooth and i was listening to an audiobook as i cleaned bc i had to read some chapters for homework!! so that was kinda nice!! and then after cleaning up i had to go to the airport

AND AT THE AIRPORT IT WAS SO BAD SAE IT WAS SO BAD IM NOT JOKING so as u already know im 15, a MINOR!! so im flying w my mom and we go to the security checkpoints and the officers keep telling me to go ON MY OWN through a checkpoint (which i cant do, because i dont own an identification badge?? idk why they were trying to make me) so my mom had to go through arguing w an officer who was saying i could do it even though im a minor... but we got through fine after that!! THEN AFTER THAT WE WERE WAITING TO BOARD BUT THEY NEVER ANNOUNCED BOARDING?? anyway we were last call and this one flight attendant was pretty rude to us (presumably bc we were last) and was just generally giving us a hard time so that was annoying... BUT IM BACK HOME NOW!! yap session over

[crumboat]

tw venting n sh

Haha yeah anyway

Tfw youve been clean for like... a year. Cold turkey. And then you relapse..... like what do i even do at thia point

I kinda dont wanna tell my therapist... because i really like her n i want her to be proud of me n shit.... itd be the fun game it used to be..... but then again.... shes like the only trusted adult i have and i dont know what id do if i forced myself to lie to her

Im already super depressed. I told her last session that i was concerned about the levels of depression

But like.. the root problem is school. And i donteven know how to fix that. I dont think i can fix that. Its fucking high school. I cant just drop out. I want to go to college.

I could look into getting a 504 plan but what the fuck would even be changed?? Getting homework less???? Being allowed on my phone???? Like.

And i dont even get to see her again for two fucking weeks. God. This shit sucks assss...

[simp4konig]

Hii! So I’m new in the Call of Duty fandom but I don’t play the games like on the ps5, etc… I only play Call of Duty on my phone and I got addicted and began digging deeper so here I am! Since I don’t/can’t play the different games of cod do you recommend any channels on youtube that does an amazing walkthrough of the games? I really really want to watch some walkthroughs but I don’t know whats the order of watching each game?? Does each game connect to each other? I’m still kind of confused since I’m still new😅😅. I’m sorry to disturb you though but I hope you can help me😭

To summarise before I go on a useless tangent and ramble needlessly, here are short answers for your questions:

Yes, the games are related. Modern Warfare 1+2+3 are chronological, and are the same story with the same characters. Similarly, it is widely believed that the Black Ops series + Cold War take place in the same timeline as Modern Warfare. I know for certain that Cold War is connected to MWI+II+III because Captain Price is a playable character in multiplayer, and the Black Ops series mention the same villains.

There is no particular chronological order in terms of a greater narrative, however, if you want to understand the story of Modern Warfare, watch walkthroughs of MWI, MWII, and finally MWIII. Black Ops has its own series so if you want to watch those too, you can, however you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare if you choose not to. Cold War is in the same timeline as Modern Warfare, but you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare either if you choose not to.

My advice: Watch game walkthroughs (I would recommend at least once, even in 2x speed, just so you know the general gist of the lore).

Watch COD compilations (trust me, there's LOADS) that are 10–20 mins long, and feature the most iconic scenes in the game back-to-back so you aren't missing anything

Dont resd this if you dont want to!!!vvv it's long and its just me sympathising with you becsude im in the same situation 💀💀... Vvvvvvv

... LMAO IM THE WORWT PERWON TO ASK BECUASE I CANT PLAY THE GAMES EITHER DJDJDJDJDJSJSJSJSJJSJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Played MW and MWII, theold versions only💔And i DONT hsve a PS5 EITHER so i csnt play the remasyers/reimagines, neithet can my parents justify buying the games just to hage a 100gb game on our PS4😫😫 were in this together anon,... 😓

I mostly have been going on youtube and tyoing out "MW 2019 walkthrough" and "MW2 2022 walkthrough" to see wheyher the plot has chsnged so i can keep up to daye and understand whay the fandom is on about !! Since ive plaued the older remasters , i watch these in like 1.75 speed or even just skip parts bc i already kniw what's gonna haooen mostly 😙✌️ but any scenes that im like "WOAH wtf is this i dint rmeebrt this happening🤨" I watch them 10–20min compilations of certain charwcyer moments 😌 Because i honestlu do NOT hsve the time to watch a whole ass 9–12h video in multiple sittings, i have homework and studyijg to be doing‼️‼️

And fir my headcannond/fanfictions , "[insert character here] voicelines" so i can understand the characyer thru their voicelines (like König and Krueger), as well as seeing their skins and backstories on theit respevtive wikis, googling their respectivr countries, ajd builfing my vision of these by also reading OTHER people's headcannons/fanfictions !! If you were to resd my oldest works, youd see thay my König was the fanon König, but as ivr gotten more used to writing him and changing my perception of his character+personality, you can tell how how i write for him has slowly developed 🙌

i feel like a hypocritetelling u to watch MWIII tho because neitjer have i plaued it NOR watched a walkthru bc my fav characters DIE and i dont wanna put myself thru that just yet😇 obviously, with MWIII remaster here, i think ill hage to soon ....

Im honoufed u chode yo ask ME of sll people !!☺️❤️❤️❤️... So im sorfy i couldnt be more useful ☹️💔💔💔

[mommypieck]

hi im sorry but i really wanted to rant and my best friend has been rlly weird lately.. my finals are going on rn and im usually not struggling this much to study yk.. like- im smart. i understand everything and its rlly easy. i cud be topping in everything if i wanted. but im so burnt out from 2019.. everyday id go directly to more classes after school and id reach home at 8pm where my mom wud force me to do homework and study more.. i was the fat kid until 2 years ago and i never had friends bcuz of it.. i developed anorexia and suddenly got people talking to me once i lost weight.. but ive also been depressed with adhd and ocd.. my therapist thinks im doing fine even though my antidepressants dont make me feel fine.. my adhd meds stopped affecting me too.. i REALLY wanna study, like i really do. tomorrow i have an exam for a subject i really like. but im unprepared. and i simply can't get myself to study.. i really dont know whats wrong with me.😭😭😭 i know these are my finals and i shud be serious cuz this will determine my life!! but i cant bring myself to sit and actually study.. for the previous tests this year, i managed to study the day before and the morning of the exam.. but this time, even though im waking up at 3:30 to study for the tests, i simply cant make myself do it.. I really do wanna study, i never hated it.. but idk why i cant.. pls some advice </3

i usually just make myself like the topic i am studying. even if it's the stupidest most boring shit, i just tell myself that it's actually interesting. and it works. also im really bad at chemistry and i hate it, but lately i always study a day before the exam. i just can't study anytime else because my brain doesn't work. but I don't think i have any advice to give you if you don't feel like studying. i had to study so i study and i don't think about not studying most of the time. only with chemistry. i know i didn't help u but im seriously not the type to ask for advice.

[roseychains]

Since when do you make the rules on who can and can’t write? Writing is for everyone, fuck off lmao. If it bothered you sm then block me and move on. How entitled are YOU to think that no one else is allowed to write things?? Minors read “young adult” type smut all the time? If it bothers you so much, if I’m “invading” your space, then block me. Christ.

Im the fucking adult here. So are all the other adults here. And you know what the law says too? Children cant participate in adult activities.

Sure writing is for everyone. In general.

So we are just allowed to show kids explicit works in school now? Should teachers have students write smut for homework? No?

There are some things that are only meant to be shared between adults. Nsfw spaces and related topics are only for adults.

I never said "no one else is allowed to write things" i said you aren't. Because you are a fucking minor. You are a child. I said you are not welcome in an adult community thats not meant for you because you are the child.

You wanna practice writing smut? Go a fucking head. In private. You arent just invading my space. You are invading every adult space.

Adult spaces aren't just blogs. The topic as a whole is only for adults to discuss. You are not an adult. You do not have a say in the matter. You do not get to decide you are special and deserve to have a spot in our discussions.

You dont get to tell me to fuck off. Im an adult in a space meant for me to be in. It is common knowledge that children aren't allowed in nsfw communities. Its not being entitled to tell you to leave. I have every right to tell you that you dont belong here. You /know/ you don't belong here uet you came here anyway.

You lack self control and common decency. Even as an adult this would get you kicked out of nearly every adult space. Whether its online or in person this kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Its selfish and dangerous not only to yourself but also those around you.

The fact that you either cant understand that or just dont care speaks volumes of the fact that you are not ready to speak on this subject let alone participate in the activities.

Block me then fucking dumbass

[kin-the-muffin]

haha soooo many things happening rn and i feel like i have so much time to do nothing like i used to but when i take a step back sure i have less but i still have a lot but then i remember that theres homework im already ignoring in my classes and new friends to know and be known by and old friends to either dump cuz theyre toxic and i never realized or try in vain to keep ahold of a slipping relationship and im in my senior year now hahahaaaaa

vent below

i auditioned for my school’s musical and i finally got a speaking part and im also technically a lead and that rly cool but it also means im going to have to stay at school for twelve hours almost every day until the second week of march when the play ends

im in my school’s honor choir and its a zero hour so i have to wake up at unheavenly times to get there and sing for two and a half hours

i get to be in a rly big state choir too and thats coming up in february and i havent looked at the music yet and i cant get the remind to work and all the emails are so long-winded and badly-formatted and confusing

and my english class is nearly full of students so thats fun and my school has zero, count em, Z E R O good senior english teachers but im pretty sure i have the better of two devils and i had her last semester so i know her and she knows me but i also know the kinda bs shes gonna throw at us and i just have to hope that she wasnt lying when she said that this semester would be easier because we’re not working on senior papers this time (mine was about mental health in schools not that anyone asked lolll)

i also have the same government teacher as last semester which is both a blessing and a curse because i know what to expect but like none of it is good and he makes us do these stupid unnecessary tiny group projects and why tf cant i just work alone i only know one person in the class and his lectures are so pointless and please just let me take all the tests and be done with this heaven-forsaken class already

then im in studio art which is basically the highest level art class at my school and you have to get permission from an art teacher to be in one of their hours then you work on one huge independent project the whole semester and my art teacher knows i draw on my ipad and said i could make a comic so now i have to figure out what its about then i can hopefully start the ball rolling from there but i have too many ideas and not enough at the same time and none of them are developed enough to make a 22-page, fully edited-and-colored comic

and my choir director is so incredibly passive aggressive but not really on purpose, he just knows he has a rbf and so he overcompensates to make himself more friendly but then when his patience runs thin he yells and i wanna cry and die and quit high school and cry some more

and im trying so hard not to stress over college because i know im gonna take a gap year so i can think about it then but two of my sisters have offered their homes to me and i love them both so much and ive been thinking about just getting an apartment and a roommate but i have to tell them that because one of them is going to renovate their basement with my potential living there in mind and then i end up stressing about college anyways like what major and what minor and what school and what even is my endgoal???? i dont know?!?!??!?!! i dont know what i want to do with my life, not specifically! my biggest dream rn is to be an mc streamer and thats just cuz im back in my mcyt phase and the old pipe dream from my childhood has returned but i know it cant actually work out btu the dreamer in me says it can but i know it realistically has like a .000002% chance of actually happening

and thats all i have the energy to say rn

sorry for the rant

sorry for not posting

ty and goodnight

[chirpsloth]

its been like 17 minutes since i told myself id do homework i need to do it but i just spent all that time reading through all my tumblr post...

god i hate myself

not bc of the homework thing ill get it done but because of just reading the posts

not really i dont think

i just hate myself

but not actually

just a little

maybe i feel bad for myself...

no self pity is lame

god do i hate myself?

when i read the posts i know edxactly what ii was refering to at the time... but i dont think i make my psots easy to decipher all the time

like when i saw the posts that said "im so nervous" and "nervous nancy" followed by the psot a few hours later saying wtf why do i actully have rizz" and then "wtf is wrong with me" im like: oh my god!! i know why i was posting that at the time!! like wowowowow thats how i was feeling thats wild!

i really do feel for myself.. why am i this way???? everyone probably pities themself sometimes.

idk i didnt deserve that... and i shouldnt do that.. wouldnt trade it for anything though. i wont stop though

im not evil im just human

im just learning

im scared for when i reach the age where i cant say that anymore...

is everything gonna be okay?

everything IS okay. i get GREAT grades, i have a good home life, i have 2 close friends, i get to walk and listen to music all the time...

i think that part of it is jealousy but theres always a wishing to get worse you know?

i don't think i'll ever be fejwlfjew but i think thats okay... im happy. i think. edcept for when i think about things too much

i pity myself

i guess i pray to the future me. you know? i wonder if i typed all my old posts knowing that the future me would read them and be like a therapist from another time...telling msyelf not to worry. i think i just did it because i need to say things and i dont have anyone that i call spew all my dumb stuff to without annoying them or making them think im mentally ill which i am not.

plus i need a place to be self centered. i guess this is that... some place hwere i only talk about me. im okay with no one listening irl because i dont want to portray myself as insane. there are some things that can only be written too. i wouldnt want to talk to my therapist about a lot of things because i dont want him thinking im insane. i know thats a therapists job but im saying like theres stuff that i really shouldnt say.. scared maybe. i wanna educate myself on law or soemhitng so i know what my therapist can tell my mother or can get me admitted for.

do i even want help? i seriously dont think so. the better i get the worse i want to get. right now im in a good middle ground. im happy, i dont cause conflict in the house too much, im not exhausting myself, i get things done, life is pretty okay. sometimes i will participate in some efwljfkwel activities though. maybe thats just my way to cope. its not harming anyone,, and i really dont believe its harming the present me too much.

maybe itll harm the future me like how my past decisions currently hurt me. not out of regret but out of pity. it just hurts that i did that... you know?

i really should do my homework but i have time (Not really)

im thinking of doing the bare minimum rn and waking up extra early to finish everytihng up. probably what i wanna do.

i know its only been a week of school since the weekend (weird way to phrase it??) but i need a break. im fine with school its not tiring or anything but god i need a break from life. not like life life but i mean hanging out with people, having things i need to do, etc. i need a week where im all alone. i love my friends but god i need alone time. i always feel so guilty when i dont hang out with them though because i dont wanna be lonely or lose friendships so i find myself hanging out with my friends mainly to "maintain friendships". i love them so much but please i need time.

this post is making me sound so mentally unwell but im doing so fine i promise (who am i promising?)

god

why is my heart rate so fast

lemme count it rq

okay its actually pretty normal its 80-ish bpm but it feels fast

i feel so shaky

i wonder if its the sugar i had earlier... i know some foods or larger amounts of fodos always make my heart feel fast and make me shaky but i havent really discovered what foods those are.

im always so nervous posting on here because what if i say something that makes this all tracable to me. i dont wanna lose opportunities beause of some dumb tumblr posts.

i know i should use like my journal or something but its comforting knowing that this can be viewed by someone for some reason. i mean id be mortified if someone told me they read all my posts but idk. maybe also its nice because i can always lose a physical notebook or lose the passord to my google docs but tumblr is public and i can always look at this tomfoolery from another account. plus this feels less formal. in my actual physical journal im very messy and i get sucked in when i write but its so messy its unreadable, it cramps my hand, and sometimes feels inconvenient. on my actual online journal i established it as something more formal... for life and mental updates for myself. im scared

i dont know why but im so scared

im so so so scared

god why did i just feel like i was about to cry

i want to curl up and cry so loudly in my moms lap while she tells me its okay but i cant i cant i cant. if i did she would think im mentally unwell which im not and id be such an inconvience to her.

last time i cried in her arms she told me that i gotta "say everything" to my therapist and that he can help me. help me with what?? she said that i deserve someone good that can help me? i told her that im normal.. she told me that she didnt want a normal daughter she wanted a happy daughter. i am happy. i just repeated that im normal because i know she sees me as different in some way. i see her as different in soem way too. i think i'd see my sister different than everyone else if i didn't judge her so much. i feel so insensitive but i always invalidate my sisters issues/struggles because i feel like i had it worse and that she has it so well. i konw its so bad and i need to remind myself that... she is a human being, she will struggle, and i should be happy that what i was so used to makes her suffer... im glad she's not used to badness like i was. that makes me sound so emo but you know. i just invalidate her so much.

anways. i think that seeing someone so closely..knowing them almost better than you know yourself will make you see them as less normal. or something. i dont know. i know my mom sees me as different. i doubt she sees my sister as so different than society. maybe its because im socially a little odd. she thinks i try to push people away/unsettle them. i dont. im just awkward around a lot of people. i like telling myself that im not everyones cup of tea. maybe thats just a way to excuse my social stupidity. my best freind always asks me how can i find myself socially stupid if im friends with like everyone. maybe shes right, but i dont think os. im not friends with anyone. weve just been conditioned to be nice to everyone and people are nice to me. yes people trust me, yes i have inside jokes/ get alogn with a lot of people... but do you seriously think i hang out with them outside of school? we use the word freind too loosely. if i never text someone, we only talk in school, and never hang out outside of school... no matter how much we know about each other, no matter if we've seen each other cry, no matter how long we've been "friends," we are NOT friends and thats okay. i try to be agreeable. people think im funny at least.

i need my mom to hug me and let me cry into her arms but i dont want her judging me or worrying about me i just need my mom. god im about to cry. why do i make myself feel this way? this was just supposed to be a post about not doing my homework.. now im writing like a multiparagraph essay. i need to say things. i guess i need to organize my thoughts. speak to the void.

you know i think i write in this because i know that future me will read it... emaning that future me will be alive. meanign that i'll be alive in the future. meaning that everything will be okay. if future me is alive, it means she overcame things, and shes now smarter, and as she's reading these paragraphs, she remembers how she used to feel, and pities her old self once again. and then maybe writes more to the future future me. and the cycle continues. until im dead i guess. maybe someone else.. a child? will work as a future future future x1000 me.. i doubt it. i dont think someone will ever care about me as a person so much as to read everyting ive thought. im currently pretty much just writing my thougts. nothing is organized. im just rambling. i would film a video but i dont have space in my camera roll, and even if i did, i would never want a video of myself saying stuff. some things are better kept written. anwyays. hello future me. and the future me after that. etc. i wonder if im laughing at this in the future. probably... in some time in the future. i bet ill laugh while also pitying my current self. self pity is so lame.

speaking of children. honestly.

door is opening. my moms home. ive been writing for like an hour. homework for tomorrow i guess. ill maintain a convorsation with her while i write. actually maybe ill close my laptop and return to this later. i mean i could use the excuse that this is homework...

[over-on-the-bench]

Hi!! If you get this, then it's your excuse to infodump, ramble, rant, vent, or whatever about whatever the hell you want!! Save this till u have something u really wanna talk about, or answer it right now, then send it onto people u think are bursting with stuff to say!!!

okay fuck it here i go ramble about issues time my dudes

sometimes i really want to cry and i have no fucking clue why. whenever i talk to people i feel like im being too much and being to annoying. i hate teen titans go, who the fuck lets a show air and lets it give out stereotypical villains/characters about people from different countries? hm? i forget vol. 333 of tmc exists and ill openly say that. i listen to problematic singers and im clueless about it. i hate everything about myself, i look to feminine and am an ass. my ex was right on me using people to my own advantage, i do that, a lot. im 99.9% sure im mentally unstable and might have the tism but i cant say anything. im also 99.9% sure my parents are abusive but thats not the problem in my life right now. everyone i know is getting annoyed or sick of me i dont like it. anyways. i hate my name, have i ever mentioned that? i hate it. anyways uh. i suppose that its all stupid, life in general. who in the hell said ‘hey lets make a species and give it endless pain and suffering’ WHO THE HELL SAID THAT??? anyways i love the song ex-wives, no word can describe how much i love that song. uh. i wanna cry half the time? thats normal uh. sometimes i fantasise about murdering people, thats normal. whenever a spotlight flashes down on me or near me, death just comes up in my mind, like: ‘is this what death is like’ or ‘i wonder what comes after death’ and its honestly fucking funky. i am a horrible person, really but then everyone says im cool/not an asshole/nice and i just agree. i have no gut to tell people theyre using the wrong pronouns or name for fear they turn on me and make me seem like the bad guy. im treated like a monster for my anger issues. i hate children sometimes, i kick them a LOT. reading over this i think i need pshyciatric help. my parents neglect me for my siblings because hey im the oldest and i can look after myself!! no i cant im literally distracted every five seconds i cant even do my homework. i want to pelt my art teacher into the endless abyss along with my gym/pe teacher like jesus christ i hate those two more than i hate children and thats saying something. i self reflect on every single character i roleplay as or create so thats also saying something. uh, ive broken many bones, not my own, others’ bones and thats funny. i threaten to bash people’s heads into the ground when im annoyed and thats worrying. i also threaten to cut off their dicks.

[aethlingg]

theres this one character in pokemon journeys that just. really fucking bothers me. koharu (or chloe, her english name) is a character who i both love and hate. first few episodes i fucking hated her guts. she was a shitty friend, she told gou his rants on pokemon are the reason he has no friends, she calls his dream and passion "nonsense," tells him that homework is more important than doing what makes him happy while also invalidating him trying to tell her about something cool that happened that he was obviously very passionate about.

as someone who has dealt with people like that all my life and has been brushed off when trying to talk about what im happy about more times than i can count, that shit fucks with a person. ive seen how gou's mind works a little bit and ive noticed that hes the kind of person that you would tell everything to and then realize you dont know anything about them. cuz he just doesn't talk about himself. the most he actually shows ash his struggles is when hes doubting his capabilities to make his pokemon happy. ash doesnt know about tokio or that he was always alone as a kid. he doesnt know about gou's mistrust in people saying they're his friend (when they fight in ep 2 and ash moves on and assumes gou does too, but then gou asks ash to be his friend but ash is like "wdym we are friends??").

my point is that gou doesnt talk about himself. ash has let him get comfortable getting excited about pokemon, but thats about all he actually lets himself talk about. and yknow as someone who is very similar. i cant help but think koharu is at least partially to blame. i kinda wanna know how they met and why they stayed friends cuz i cannot figure out why they would still be friends if koharu really believes that gou's dreams and passions are nonsense. and if she has never even tried to support him instead of trying to force him to be a good student. its one thing having a cold personality, but its a whole other thing to completely invalidate your best friends dreams and the only thing they care about.

i also dont really like that she kinda gets forced into enjoying pokemon. like her whole thing in her first focus episode was that she doesnt like that people assume she loves pokemon just because her dad is a pokemon professor and i think it would have been an amazing line in her story if she never got a pokemon and found passion in something completely unrelated to pokemon. it would be a little strange to some people for a pokemon show but it is a kids show and i think it would be an amazing thing to represent. not everyone needs to enjoy pokemon. some people just dont like them and thats ok. they dont need to be forced into things they dont enjoy. idk her character just doesnt have very much meaning to it. shes a cool girlboss character who is forced to battle sometimes even though she doesnt like to. idk man. i dont like it. she could have been a much better character and i would have loved her.

[a9saga]

diana and i turn 21 tomorrow and my dad’s gettin all sappy cause he wants to make us strawberry daquiris and i appreciate it. but i’m thinkin like. all i do in quarantine is calc 2 homework. i wanna get just a little fuzzy and see if i can still integrate the square root of one plus the derivative of f(x) squared from 0 to pi over four or whatever.

[chrisbangs]

i’m so tired but i gotta get a lot of stuff done so 😌✨🔪 if you could so kindly kick my ass i’d really appreciate it 🖤🌱✨

[threepointseven]

A bimbo s/o

Type-HC’s 🌷 (modern highschool au!)

Flowers included!🌼= scaramouche x fem!reader, diluc x fem!reader, xiao x fem!reader

Note🍀= im experimenting with modern au’s rn hehehe, also i forgot how nice it is to write stuff you actually wanna write <333 this is also super self indulgent btw because idk my friend called me a bimbo the other day and i had to search up what it was, idk why ppl think its an insult who doesnt wanna be called the equivalent to karen smith??🤨

A himbo boyfriend

Genshin masterlist

Xiao

- So confused. So so confused..

- He’s a really studious person. He scores 100% in almost all subjects and his knowledge is impeccable, so how surprising do you think it is when you see the dude thats famous in your school for being an absolute drag and always getting gold medals in academic competitions dating the girl who literally fails 3 subjects each semester..?

- He doesnt think its funny or worrying hes just lost.

- Your pretty, pink, and dumb. Thats your thing but he cant help but force you to study-

“….love, what is this?”

“Hm? Math and science? Yeah what about it?”

“How did you get an F on both of them..”

- he loves you to pieces but your gonna need some hella tutoring from this guy

- He will not admit it but he finds it sort of cute watching you get all dolled up for literal tutoring and crying halfway through cause your nail polish is chipped

- It always cheers him up for some reason, watching you be as carefree as you want, not worrying about grades at all

“Xiaooooo!!!! Can you do my math homework?” You bat you pretty eyelashes and pout at your boyfriend thats currently studying. “Do it yourself.” “I need to get my nails done though!”

You dramatically sigh and you frown, twirling your hair while staring at him with your doe eyes. “.. fine.” (He was gonna do it anyways-)

- If anyone calls you dumb he’ll beat them up <3

- There was this one time where a group of girls commented on how you were always dressed up and how idiotic you are and he ruined their life(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Diluc

- Worried, confused, sick of it.

- Every time you do something dumb he just facepalms and sighs loudly. He’s strict and very smart, a teacher favorite if you must. He’s apart of a well known very wealthy family, everyone expected diluc to go out with an elegant and serious woman, but nope!

- He chose the girl that forgets how to pronounce numbers sometimes!

- He finds you so adorable and he loves you more than anything in the world but sometimes it worries him when he sees you so oblivious to everything around you.

- If he finds you too annoying he’ll give you a stack of cash and tell you to go shopping or something !!!

- From anyones perspective it literally looks like he’s your sugar daddy-

- Despite how he is hes so soft for you, even more since your so goddamn oblivious and gullible. It lights a fire in him and he becomes extra possessive whenever someone is around you, even more than xiao tbh-

- Your dumb and he doesnt exactly care but he cant help but feel so defeated when he hears you ask dumbass questions

“DILUCC!!!!! THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION!!”

“Hm? Yes? Whats wrong dear?”

“WHATS A TRIANGLE?”

- he stares at you like 🙁

- Dont get me wrong he’ll answer every question you ask him. He actually becomes way more studious and pays more attention to class because he knows you wont. So whenever you ask him a question regarding class or a subject he’ll know straight away and answer you!

- Its so cute—you can catch him in the library going through books and writing down notes on a separate notebook so he can give it to you

Scaramouche

- hes so sick of your shit—sweetie he adores you, your the only person he genuinely loves but he is so done with your shit.

- He’s a very intimidating person, especially in school. He competitive, aggressive and has this violent aura to him. No one really approaches him, so it was surprising even to him when he fell head over heels inlove with the dumbest girl in the entire school. He’s super reserved to everyone who isnt you

- The guy acts so annoyed when you ask stupid questions or complain about your hair and or outfits, but he actually really likes it-

- He feels so smart and superior whenever you ask him a question regarding school and he’ll ignore you for a day if he catches you asking anyone else about the homework

- He teases you and picks on you about how stupid you are but if it genuinely hurts your feelings he’ll stop and shout at himself in the mirror for the rest of the day 😆

- He knows your beautiful and it angers him so much when random creeps think they can take advantage of you simply cause your not as smart, he beats them up immediately btw <3

- If anyone is bothering you or saying your dumb he’ll tear into them. Physically and mentally— only he’s allowed to tell you you’re a dumbass

- All jokes aside he genuinely cares about if you pass your grade or not and tries his best to tutor you. He knows you wont listen to class so he has a separate notebook filled with notes specifically for you to understand, he’ll brush it off as backup notes but he really spent all night making sure he worded calculus in the simplest way possible for you.

- He’s also extremely possessive, hand is always around your waist, or if hes around people he dislikes, like childe and or signora he’ll be extra touchy, he has some kind of thought in the back of his mind that childe would definitely try to flirt with you if he was gone, and tbh he would probably manage to succeed since your so oblivious

“Scara! Its an emergency!” Your heels clack on the marble floor and your boyfriend drops his pen and immediately stares at you in slight worry. Your terrified face worries him as you writhe

“Huh?! Whats wrong?” He stays on chair, raising an eyebrow as you race to him on the verge of tears.

“M-my nails broke! And they were so expensive too!!!” You cling to him on the verge of tears as he stared into space blankly.

“Ugh.. i’ll give you some money to fix them tomorrow… just sit on my lap and be quiet for a second— you scared me..” he muttered the last part as he pulled you onto his lap, deadpanning at your broken pink nail.