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echantedtoon · 6 months

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A Bloom In Time Ch7 Discovery P1

The darkness of the cold building seemed to be finally getting to the fused together ghosts and the reality of being able to feel human things again began to settle in as the two suddenly realized how cold they were and began soon after shivering and rubbing their sides up and down with their still pretty jello feeling arms. It was a bit easier to move now but still not easy. I mean it's been over a thousand years after all, how were they supposed to get human movements down bout twenty to forty minutes after becoming alive again. Speaking of everyone being alive at the moment- With Thor and his pal's help, the two were able to dragged the very unconscious Vanessa into the bathroom and with the old but heavy duty lock Hattie had from a previously locked door, they were able to lock her in good, but JUST to be on the safe side(insistence from Moonjumper over and over. The guy was PETRIFIED of her which was well understandable) the giant pale red armchair from down the hall was moved and placed against the locked door as well to help keep it closed. It took Thor, Mr Timothy, and a mafia man to move the heavy wooden thing so there was little chance Vanessa in her current form would be able to get out easily. Not soon long after that the once-frozen-Subconite followed his bosses orders and with the giant group of men behind him, while still holding the none struggling Rough Patch, began leading the group away from them towards the second floor stairs. Snatcher re-yelling the rules behind them.

"Remember to follow his EVERY instruction! Stay OUT of the swamp because if you all die on the way there I CANT save you, and when you get to my home stay OUT of my things until I get there!! And you be careful with Rough Patch! Not a single leaf on his head hurt!! The long way isn't easy! And I DO NOT EVER want to see any of you in my forest again or else I'll let you freeze again!!" "OH!! Give our throat a rest already will you now?"

The still grumpy child sat on the floor away from the two who was still weakly rubbing their sides and examining each piece of glass carefully before putting it back down or attaching it back onto the shard. She decided to start with the biggest piece and carefully put the thing magically back together somehow, but paused and looked up at the retreating group...then up at them with a confused look. "There's a long way around to get here?"

"Well of course!", Snatcher's voice said annoyed, "You think everyone could've made that jump over the cold, slippery bridge like you did without falling to their doom? Some of those bumbling fools must've found the way around. How else did ya think my minions could get over here to remind you of the agreement you signed about not using hats? Float across?"

....She shrugged. "I dunno. You float all the time and they're dead like you."

"Ouch, Kid! That hurts!" "Uh! Beg pardon," Moonjumper politely asked before pointing to the still broken time piece, "But how long pretell do you think that'll take to fix, Dear?"

"It usually takes three hours if I hurry."

"THREE HOURS?! OH! YOU GOTTA BE PECKING ME?!" "SNATCHER SHUSH!!" Moonjumper turned their head to the baracated bathroom door where silence still rang through. "The VERY last thing we need you doing is waking her up! Won't that be fun you loud mouthed owl! And PLEASE stop using the P word in front of the child!" Snatcher grumbled but didn't say anything else as they continued to rub at their sides.

But Hattie noticed and pointed it out as she stuck a finger in their direction. "Why are you rubbing your sides like that?" She blinked. "Are you guys cold? I thought ghosts couldn't get cold?"

"Well, Sweetie. You're not wrong, but if you haven't noticed, your bumbling jack-o-lanturn friend and I aren't ghosts at the moment. So we can very much feel the cold right now. And quite frankly, I do not like it at all." They shivered. "T-T-Too many memories."

Hattie wordlessly didn't argue with that at all. She didn't like being cold and remembering Vanessa chase her throughout the house, but suddenly an idea came to her. One that made her put the slightly bigger down now and stand up, both ghosts looking at her confused as she tugged on their arm and pointed at a door close to them. "There's a bed in there! You can cover up in the blankets while you wait."

"A-A-And be where Vanessa SLEEPS?! Good heavens NO!!" "I think for once I agree with Moonshine over here. That is the VERY last thing I want to do right now. I think I'd rather take my chances with the cold again."

Hattie gave them a flat 'I'm too young for this stuff' look. "Oh come on! You really wanna freeze to death?....Again."

"Is laying on the cold floor an option?"

"No!" She marched on over to them and grabbed onto their arm, tugged them forward and them falling over onto their hands and knees with a yelp from Snatcher. "I'm doing all the hard work now! The least you can do is stay warm and do ONE thing for me! PLEASE!!"

....Snatcher sighed. "Kid. Even if I did, I doubt either of us can walk over there in this state."

"Then crawl!"

"Crawl? Like a drunken idiot? HA! I'd look ridiculous!"

"PLEASE!!" She made those puppy dog eyes at them and Snatcher knew immediately that Moonjumper already melted at the cute sight and gave in thanks to their currently shared brain, but he grumbled under his breath as he plainly stared at her sad eyes. "Pretty please, Dad." AH! Pulling his weakness.

"OH!....ALRIGHT!! But not a SINGLE word about this to anyone! You hear me? Or it's triple grounding time for you!...That goes for you too moonboy! Not a word about this to anyone ever!"

There was no complaints about that from Moonjumper so very clumsily and slowly, the two slowly started pace to the door on jello arms and knees. Wobbling so badly with every movement Snatcher was sure they would fall flat on their faces. ....And they did. Hattie had to use her foot and move away the glass shards carefully as they attempted to wobble-crawl around the pile and towards the bedroom do- THUMP!! Their left arm wobbly gave out which left the two smacking their face to the ground making the poor girl jump and have to grab her hat before it fell off. Before bounding over to them as Snatcher cursed more 'peck' under his breath and very weakly and wobbly pushed them back up into crawling position. HE. PECKING. HATED. THIS!! So, so much already. Gritting his teeth and muttering versions of 'peck' over and over under his breath, the two somehow managed to fall, wobbly crawl, and get a headache all the way to the door with Hattie beside them in case they fell over again. She opened the door for them into the bedroom and they froze...Well, Moonjumper froze upon seeing their old shared bedroom where they and Vanessa once inhabited. Memories flashed through their shared mind of her again and Snatcher growled and shook their head.

"Moonboy. I am NOT in the mood for a trip down memory lane right now especially with HER! And I am certainly NOT gonna stay right here on the cold floor just to hit my head again!"

Moonjumper didn't say anything and Snatcher took full control of their shared body and forced them to wobbly crawl forward as Hattie followed behind once they made their way past the door giving her plenty of room to hop in watching as Snatcher crawled them over to the red bed a few feet from the door. Red musty wall paper lined the walls with the red color themed bed, and a lot of furniture to match. A wardrobe stood by the bed and past that was a vanity, writing desk, chest, small dresser with a candle holder on it, and a long table with a worn tablecloth on it. The floor was always creaky, and it creaked all the way when they crawled into the room and over to the bed. The only light offered in the room was the few candles by the bed and on the wall that lit up with magical fire, enough light to see at least, but also enough to see the various claw marks scratched into the old walls staining the wallpaper with it's creepy aura. Moonjumper was still not responding or communicating through their shared head but SNatcher could still feel the petrified fear coming off of him and he was starting to find it annoying. Forcing them back onto their knees, Snatcher reached over and grabbed onto the foot of the bed.....before forcibly trying to get onto their feet. If it weren't for the fact that the two ghosts were forced like this and had no experience being human for over a thousand years, it might've made her laugh trying to see an adult stand up like a bird with new legs, but right now she was more concerned about the two falling over. With their noodle legs Snatcher violently wobbled and gripped the sheets tightly messing them up, and forcing most of their body onto the bed minus their legs. Hattie had to walk over and help, it was too painful and awkward to watch after a while, and grabbed their legs, one by one pushing them up to lay on the beg with them. Eventually making it where they were laying on their stomach with their head at the foot of the bed on top of the disleved old, musty sheets. .......They sneezed from the dust and snatcher once again forced them up to their knees on the bed. Grumbling from the dust before forcing them around and wobble crawling up the bed until he carefully maneuvered themself around and forced their knees out from under them to sit properly with their legs over the side of the bed near the small drawer with the lit candles. Still cold but it was a five star hotel compared to laying onthe hard wood floor.

"There! All better?,'' Hattie asked walking around the bed and smiling back up at them.

"Yeah, Kiddo. Better than the dum floor at least. But I still think you should get back there and rebuild that thing as fast I can. I'd rather live out this punishment then get back to not living it out, if you get what I mean."

She pouted. "Hey! Don't forget it's your fault you purple dummy!"

"Trust me. I know!!....*sigh*" He reached up to rub their face and groaned. "Can you just...finish fixing it and reverse this please? I promise I'll make it up to you, just help me please, Kid!"

Hattie tilted her head at him, "Anything?"

"Yes. But could you at least grab me a book from the mini library downstairs?"..He looked thoughtful for a moment thinking. "....Grab me the one with the title called The Sparrow and The Knight if it's still there. I haven't read that in years."

The child sighed and turned around. "Ok. I'll be right back! But you still OWE me big time!!"

"Yes, yes." He waved her off after her, "Just go."

He sat their and watched as she ran out the doorway, her fast footsteps making the floor creak loudly as she ran away and he stared at the door until those fast and creaking footsteps faded away. He could hear Moonjumper hope she didn't wake Vanessa with her loud footsteps but the only noise now was the wind and occasional lightning strike outside. He usually liked the silence of his home so he could read on hours on end or think of new contracts or traps to be made. But his forest and swamp usually had the chirping of frogs or the chitter chatter of his ghostly subjects in the background for that, or the giggles of little children. But right now he would gladly rather have the kids bug him for eternity than sit here in this dead silence with wind and lightning. Maybe it was just the many worries Moonjumper was thinking right now, or the fact he was vulnerable in this form, or the fact Vanessa was literally a hallway and room away. Locked up and unconscious, but still a few yards away. Or maybe it was all three, but he was starting to get tired of it really quick waiting for the kid to come back with the book he requested. Snatcher huffed and turned their eyes around the old room drinking in the details of the room, guess things didn't change much. Except for the claw marks and the ruined painting on the wall over there. Eventually his eyes glazed over the furniture near him including the writing desk with old yellowed paper on it, the old chest, and the lit candles with a book right next to I-......Snatcher blinked their eyes at the small green book. It was a very dull green with light tears here and there and even tho it was VERY faded, the dull black word 'Diary' was engraved on the cover with very pretty cursive writing......A....Diary?? In Vanessa's room? Wow. It didn't take too long to figure out who it probably belonged too. ....But all of a sudden his mind got a curious idea-

"D-D-Don't do it." Snatcher jumped at the sudden voice of the fearful Moonjumper finally managing to force itself through and scowled. "Look Moonboy. There isn't anyone here to stop us from looking and after all we've been through you can't say we don't at least have the right to 'invade on her privacy' after all the 'invading' she did to YOU!!....I mean me!...Us? AH!! I MEAN we can't get any kind of revenge on her now so Im taking what I can get! And if ol' blondie gets upset and throws a tantrum over her 'pwecious diary' being read, them Im not going to give into that pecking tantrum and coddle her like she always guilted us into!" ......"I-I still don't know. I d-don't think I want to see any thoughts she had." "EVEN if it means we'll get some power over a situation she laid out for once and get the teeniest revenge on her? If she also never knows it'll be better cuz we'd get to get away with it! Not that we wouldn't anyways." Moonjumper remained silent thinking over what Snatcher said carefully before sighing. "Alright. B-But that doesn't mean Im going to like it." "THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!"

Snatcher smiled evilly on their face and reached their wobbly arms out and grabbed the book......if it could even be called that!! The Book cover was obviously made for a thick book. A thousand pages at least, but it was barely filled with pages when he opened it, giving a confused frown and raised brow. What the-.... Only about two or three pages were in tact, very yellowed with chicken scratch writing like a dizzy blind person wrote the few faded words he saw. There was ends of many other pages where they were obviously ripped out and done away with, but that didn't stop his annoyance. Vanessa had a diary with three pages left minimum and ruined an entirely good book! Wasted potential and paper!! And just when he thought she couldn't get crazier!! Rolling their eyes, he latched onto the faded chicken scratch to see if he could make heads or tales of the horrible writing. He noticed on the bottom corner of the page was the very faded letter 13. Huh...So this must've been page 13 of the diary then. Alright. Let's see what nonsense Vanessa wrote.

"Why? What have I done wrong? In his letters he talks about her. A 'tutor'. He says he loves me. But SHE sees him. I get letters, and SHE gets his time. He is MINE. Once his studies are finished I will have him back. "

.........Both ghosts stared blankly at the what was scratched down and processed it in their heads. Snatcher catching onto the real meaning behind it rather quickly and almost dropped the book onto the floor in shocked. .....L-Letters??...His studies??..A TUTOR?! HOLY PECK!!! THIS WAS WRITTEN WHILE HE LEFT FOR A FULL YEAR OF LAW STUDIES!! Moonjumper was somewhere between confused and panicked in their mind but Snatcher reread the page to make sure he was reading it right, and looked around the other half of the page and turned it over, but the entire page was black except for those few sentences. But just by looking at those few lines he came to the hard conclusion that.......Vanessa...Was JEALOUS!! Of his old tutor....A lady that was old enough to be his great grandmother( at the time he was alive) and who had taught his father before him....VANESSA WAS JEALOUS OF A LITTLE OLD LADY THAT HAD ZERO CHANCE WITH HIM. And her referring to him in 'He is MINE.' just added to the whole creepy vibe he always had with her, dead or alive. Moonjumper made them shudder in disgust while Snatcher growled and flipped it over to the next page. Like before the entire page was wasted and left unused except for a few random chicken scratches in the middle and this time the faded number was 48. Page 48.

" Dear Diary, Today my prince left to begin his studies. He will be so far away, and for so long. He has promised to write. He won't forget me, will he? His beloved princess."

........Wait. What?

This.....This wasn't even written in the right order of events!! He left for his studies BEFORE he sent her any letters!! Which he always regretted, and wished he HAD forgotten her, and KNEW she was NEVER his let alone a 'beloved princess'. Snatcher only continued to grow more irritated and snarled at the book in his hands before flipping to the last in tact page in seemed with the faded number 73.

"He is coming back. Just one weekend. A short holiday, from HER. I will convince him to stay. I CANNOT let my love leave Again. Sounds a little melodramatic. "

Yeah...He remembered that. One week holiday before going back to his studies, their anniversary week too. Spent all his pons on a bracelet he used to trade for flowers .....from.....Snatcher actually growled. Guess he was still able to use THAT ghostly ability. And once again the 'HER' was a woman who he always saw as his GRANDMOTHER in a way!! If she read his letters truly she would've known that!! And not letting him leave? HA!! Guess what?! He DID and was now king of everything in their kingdoms!! A LITTLE MELDRAMATIC!? REALLY?! SHE HAD ONE SMALL BIT OF SENSE FOR A SECOND AND SHE SAYS IT WAS A LITTLE DRAMATIC?! SHE WAS CRAZY!! ABSOLUTELU BONKERS!! MAD!! INSANE!! OFF HER ROCKER!! BANANAS!! WHAT EVER YOU CALL IT!! She didn't even write the events in order. Page 48's events came BEFORE page 13's. Was she just flipping to a random page and crazily writing these down in no order?? He wouldn't be surprised if she did! Still hard scowling, Snatcher tossed the book away from him, but because their arm was still pretty weak it only landed two or three feet away with a soft thump as he glared daggers at it.

"Snatcher?" He jumped and turned around to see the little girl standing there in the doorway as she came in. Holding a small red cover book in her hands. She came around the bed and stopped glancing at the book on the floor before blinking and looking back up at them. "Were you reading the crazy lady's diary?"

"Yeah...Crazy is an understatement. More like peckin' owlpoop insane!!" "Again.. LANGUAGE!!" "Be quiet Moonshine!" He glanced back down to her hands and the book. "That's not the book I asked. It has a yellow cover."

She held it up to them anyways. "I couldn't find it so I got this one instead cuz I liked the moon pictures in it!"

Snatcher reached over and grabbed it from her. Glancing over the cover and reading 'Moon Phases and Star Constellations by Star S. Hine'. "....I suppose this would work just to wait a few hours." And It might help Moonboy calm down, he loved talking about the moon and stars like poetry.

"Uh huh!" She once again looked down to the green book on the floor. ".....Were you really reading this?"

Snatcher opened the book to the first page but stopped and looked at her. "Yeah. But why does it matter?"

"Did you read the other pages yet?"

He blanked for a second. ".............There's MORE?!"

She nodded. "Ill go get them!'' Before either could protest she had already turned around and ran off. Through the door into the old nursery and after a moment they could hear the other door attached to the other side of nursery.............After a few more moments, the same door opened, and then the door attaching the nursery to Vanessa's bedroom reopened and Hattie ran back in but not to them. Instead she ran over to the writing desk and grabbed the two yellowed papers on it. Adding them randomly to her small pile of now five pieces of paper and running back up to them smiling before presenting them up to them. "Here! I made sure to grab them all! They were all over the place!"

They both just stared at her for a moment, before snatcher once again made them move and grabbed them from the small child. They all had the same chicken scratch writing like in the diary with random faded numbers near the bottom, and the sides were torn. So these must've been some of the random pages that were ripped from the diary, and like the rest, all had just a few sentences wasting the rest of the space the paper provided. Annoyed all over again he read what the first page said.

"Im sorry about your hair, My Prince. I just wanted our lengths to match! ....and color...and curl ...you look wonderful! "

His....HIS HAIR!? He remembered that! He was taking a nap when he awoken to the feeling of something wet on his head, like he had just taken a shower. But instead woke to the sight of a mildly panicked Vanessa above him and a painful sensation to his head so he rushed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Only to discover his lovely brown hair had been very sloppily died yellow with obvious patches of his natural color here and there, and the painful sensation was a couple of curlers too tightly rolled into random spots on his head. He took them out and got into the shower immediately to wash it out to no avail. Of course Vanessa when asked about it cried and said she only wanted to practice doing hairstyles. Like the idiot he was, he forgave her not a few seconds after. And it turned out he couldn't wash it out. He was to wear it off which left him looking ridiculous!! Embarrassing him in front of everyone including....... Well...That didn't matter anymore. He did NOT look 'wonderful'. Snatcher's eyes narrowed and flipped to the next random page.

"Mother had a bit of an accident last week, so today I got crowned as queen. Now the prince can't call me his princess! Life isn't fair!"

He remembered the old sick Queen very well. She was a stern and cranky old lady, but very nice and professional when you got to know her. She was a lot like Vanessa in ways but much MUCH better if you asked him. She loved discussing his interests with him and thought it was very responsible of him to want to study law. Even though he was never able to attend her funeral or really found out how she died, he really did miss the old coot sometimes. Sometimes he even wondered if she could've done anything to stop Vanessa if only he brought it up...Oh well. That past is past. But seriously!? Her only mother had passed and she was upset over the fact he couldn't call her 'princess' anymore?! The entitlement of this woman! If she just asked politely to be called that as a nickname he wouldn't have minded, but peck!! He missed his parents more than anything and she doesn't even write down anything expressing the same thing!! His annoyance grew as did the usually calm Moonjumper's as he turned to the next page.

"Oh, I wish I could just keep him always! Locked up and in chains in the cellar! But you can't chain a man...can you?"

This-....

This actually made the two freeze up and for a moment a blank face fell upon them. .....Locks...Chains.....Celler.......That was....how he....they.....They never saw her agai- WAIT!! SHE HAD THIS IDEA IN MIND FROM THE VERY START!? THAT PECKING NO GOOD WITCH!! He swore he was gonna tear the papers from hold tight their hold became. Had she planned this?! And was only pushed over the edge of crazy with one little misunderstanding?! OOOOOOHHHH!! He wasn't sure when the last time he got THIS angry but Moonjumper forced him to look over at Hattie who currently was for some reason looking up at the ceiling with a curious look and he reluctantly stood down. No point getting mad over it now Moonjumper's thoughts were saying as they bounced around and instead of confronting him, Snatcher turned to the next page.

"My prince enjoys his breakfast far too much. I'm jealous of that darn bacon! No more bacon in this house!"

WHO. BANES. BACON. AND. GETS. JEALOUS. OVER. FOOD?!

Snatcher had about had it with all this terrible chicken scratch trip down terrible memory lane and flipped to the last page, wondering which event she wrote about on the last one. One of her tantrums? Or maybe him being 'unprincely'? But when he saw the fancy curvy cursive, he paused. .......This paper was yellowed like the rest of the others, but there was definitely NO chicken scratch to these neat and proper letters. Was this a page written before she went crazy and started squibbling nonsense? But...It was torn and shorter than the rest. Instead of there being any evidence of it being torn from the side, there was a tear right down the middle. As if it was never a part of a book at all-.......Realization suddenly dawned on him making their eyes go wide.

"M-...My letter," Moonjumper whispered out as they read over it.

"My Dearest Vanessa, It has been many days since I saw you last, but it feels like months. My time at the Acadmey is hard, but I am progressing quickly. There is so much to study when it comes to law, but the library here is well-stocked. Our tutors are the finest in the land, and I am thankful for their help. I have been attending private study with one, an experienced practitioner of law by the name of Lady-"

.....The .....Their letter ended off with the tear. Not knowing what the world happened to the other half other than is had to have been torn by Vanessa. When he...When he began writing her letters, he wasn't very happy to be writing to her to be honest, but he was still loyal to her and put effort into being polite in them. Telling her all about his favorite law books, and the garden, and his old tutor he adored so much.....But did she just see the word lady and assume she was the new love of his life?! Not reading WHO she was and tearing the thing to shreads in pure jealousy and craziness!? They bothe scowled down at the remains of the letter they sent to her all those years ago, Hattie not paying attention. She had taken a few steps still staring at the ceiling curiously but turned around behind her when she heard tearing. They were tearing the letter......Well that's not true. Moonjumper was. But Snatcher made no move or thought to stop him. The other papers he just let float to the floor in random places as the letter was torn and shreaded into tiny little pieces before released to the floor in old yellowed paper snow. Hattie watched as it all fell to the floor before saying something.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because my dear..." Moonjumper looked at her. "That might've been the only part of me left behind in this cursed place. The last part of me Vanessa had....I wouldn't want her to have a hold of any part of me. She doesn't deserve it."

"Oh." She stared at them and the destroyed letter by all the papers for a moment before resuming her odd behavior of looking up at the ceiling which caught Snatcher's attention and he looked up to the plain dusty ceiling for a couple seconds as well. ....Before raising a brow back to her.

"Kid. WHAT are you staring at? I know everything around her is pretty dead, but I think you could find another way to occupy your time. Like maybe gluing a magical hourglass back together. QUICKLY!"

She only continued to stare. "Don't you guys hear that?"

They looked up to the ceiling in silence. .....Nothing but the wind outside and occasional lightning- A small, weak creaking noise came from above them somewhere and Hattie pointed before looking at him like 'See! There it is!'. Making Snatcher roll his eyes and wave her off picking up their book again.

"It's just the old house settling or the wind. I should know. Im an expert on old haunted houses."

......She looked back up to the ceiling with a hum. "I don't know. I never heard that before when I was here.''

"Probably because you were a little busy running away from blondie."

"But...What if it's someone who got frozen? They might need help."

"Kid. You've been to the third floor before and so have I. I've never seen any frozen people up there did you?"

"No....But Im going to go look anyways." She bounded to the door with them following her.

"Up there? By yourself?!

"I can handle it!" She pulled her trusty umbrella out of no where and twirled it around. "I beat you didn't I?"

His eyes narrowed. "Kid. That's not the point. One being you NEED to reverse this as soon as possible. And second because you don't know what's up there and Im useless like this." "S-Sweetheart. I agree with the grape noodle on this. Y-You could get into trouble!"

"I'll be fine! Besides, there's no ice people statues up there. And it'll just be a quick check. Don't be such a peckneck!"

"Wha- HEY!! IM NOT A PECKNECK!!"

The small girl giggled like a maniac before running out of the room where they couldn't follow even if they tried. Grumbling Snatcher turned them back to the book In their lap and picked it up, turning to the first page.

'Chapter One What are the Moon and Stars made Of?'

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rmbaloncesto · 3 years

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#@swinginsportscutebasketball sent me this and im crying #look at them #soft boys!!!!!#and the hand size diference....#im crying #(jordan also wanted to hold hands you cant fool me reddit)#((nicolo sweetie you are blocking the view))#boban marjanovic #jordan poole #golden state warriors #dallas mavericks #gsw #mavs #boban #baby jordan

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all-hail-the-witcher · 3 years

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the absolute best quotes from bdylanhollis's vintage baking tiktoks

• "thought this was a joke. turns out im the joke."

• "you can use a mixer, i just do this to feel something"

• "fold in sauerkraut carefully. or what? im going to ruin your disaster?"

• "can a cake be tried for treason?"

• "either chocolate fixes everything or this is alchemy"

• *disgusted chewing noises* "DEMON BABY!!!"

• "before pumpkin pie became king people ate this....now they're dead."

• "combine all ingredients except for pie shell. were you rEALLY WORRIED I WAS GOING TO PUT A F U L L Y C O N S T R U C T E D PIE SHELL INTO THIS?"

• "im a fool, not an idiot."

• "its like reading directions to purgatory"

• "now we have carbonated mayonnaise lime water"

• "MARSHMALLOWS!! with the m a y o??"

• "chop up your dehydrated cow"

• "it tastes like it's insulting me"

• "and its not just a little bit. no. its a severe unauthorized CUP of mayonnaise."

• "honey you cant dilute a war crime"

• "you know its horrible now but i hope it turns out okay. like children."

• *beans boiling over in a pot* "ahhhhHH BEAN REBELLION!!"

• "eggie!! how many? i don't know. it just says EGGS."

• "did you just kill my blender?" *broken blender noises* "hello?" *insane maniacal laughter* "this is personal now. you swung first!!"

• "why are you good? yOU HAVE A BAG OF BEANS IN YOU!!"

• "one of the many questionable substances people experimented with in the 70s...pistachio pudding."

• "smells like a palm springs retirement home"

• "nixon wished it was this easy."

• "this was the cold war after all. fear of communist bananas was at an all time high."

• "the 70s. sponsored by the color beige."

• "its uncomfortably appetizing"

• "meat and desserts was quite common back then. so was botulism."

• "'honey would you like earl gray or pork?' 'ill take a divorce'"

• "sweet, bitter and meaty. like my ex."

• "don't say it dylan" *2 seconds later* "CIMMANIMM!!"

• "350 for two and a half hours! i suppose any less and it might gain consciousness."

• "its a little late in the century for war crimes."

• "are you just making things up? who are you??"

• *opening a can of spam* "you know ive never been particularly religious. but today might be the day."

• "a cup of evaporated milk?! have you lost the plot?!"

• "i feel like if i do this correctly im going to invoke the spirit of richard nixon"

• "this aint food honey this is a bioweapon"

• "sir your phone number is 4 digits"

• "well i don't have sorghum because i don't have a life expectancy of twelve"

• "thats the power of pine sol baby!"

• "bake to your liking. sweetie none of this is to my liking."

• "this is what id imagine a toilet brush to taste like"

• "this is why we don't perform lobotomies anymore."

• "should be a pale white." *holds butter up to arm for comparison*

• "i bet this recipe is just all the wrong answers on a baking test."

• "smells like dentures."

• "not bad dead people"

• "its incredible. and im mad about it."

• "sift your flour three times. lady your cake has tomato soup in it, this is thE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!"

• "'911 whats your emergency?' 'yeah that lady carol is at the barbecue again.'"

• "careful not to over mix. sorry im just trying to kill it."

• "now i know this is going to be awful because it calls for soured milk. not buttermilk, not milk and vinegar, no honey sOURED B A D MILK!"

• "disgusting wasnt enough for you?!"

• "call the U.N."

• "bake until done. you're a piece of work."

• *plays accordion on his kitchen floor*

• "tastes like a shower drain or a bunion"

• "this recipe was sent to me by herbert hoover feet pics. theres something for everybody"

• "are you nine inches yet?? said 14 year old me."

• "i suppose its better than eating your offspring"

• "oh betty crocker WHAT ARE YOU UP TO??"

• "you could just use canned pineapple. if you were a communist."

• "can you bake a pie with four ingredients? yes! i could also eat my mattress."

• "add three gils of water. was this written for a fish?"

• "i think this qualifies as a preexisting condition"

• "unconstitutional!"

• "its a breast implant"

• *clunking from the cabinets* "i think ive summoned something"

• "it seems to have collapsed. like the south."

• "the slogan for this cookbook is 'it's digestible'"

• "remember kids the main ingredient in pie pastry is self doubt"

• "fry in two tablespoons of crisco. on this episode of dead white people."

• "i didnt know tuberculosis had a color scheme"

• "ive baked a toilet."

• "how am i supposed to know how big your teacups are, ira?"

• "why do dead people like dates?"

• "easy does it. wouldn't want to ruin a disaster."

• "'ira honey i'm going to war.' 'over what?' 'your cooking'"

• "tastes like a boot. like a size 10 boot."

• "why just live in the great depression when you could also have chronic diarrhea"

• "it wants me to plumpen my prunes in water. well i won't be plumping my prunes in just anything. buy me dinner first."

• "it looks like a failed grave robbery"

• "walnuts aint gonna save this recipe sweetie"

• "you know its not bad it just vaguely tastes like a felony."

• "'where you goin with that tuna dylan?' 'oh you know just making jello"

• "this recipe is making me cry, not the onions"

• "are we sure this recipe wasnt written by a cat?"

• "it already looks like the great depression"

• "bake in a moderate oven. no need to get political"

•"don't tell gordon ramsey"

• "it tastes like a question mark. but a good question mark"

#bdylanhollis #b dylan hollis #tiktok #tiktok quotes #you're welcome #this took me over an hour and it was very worth it #memes

16K notes · View notes

asmo-ds · 3 years

Note

may i request to the demon brothers reacting to a teenage mc accidentally calling them “dad” since they never had a father figure in their life? i’d love to see that in action

React to Teen MC Calling them Dad

Warnings: Absence of father figure, abandonment issues

Summary: While talking to a younger MC the brothers get called “dad” by the human and this is how they act

- MC was lost at RAD and Lucifer had found them wandering around aimlessly

- After pointing them in the right direction they began to merrily skip away off to class

- “Thanks Dad!” They smiled wide and both parties stopped in their tracks

- “Excuse me?” Lucifer asked with a slight chuckle

- MC refused to face him but he could still see the tips of their ears turning red

- “I-um-I meant Sir, sorry- easy mistake! Gotta go bye!” they ran off

- Lucifer couldn’t help but want to give MC a hug and treat them as if they were his own kid

- May or may not discuss the adoption of a human by a demon with Diavolo immediately after that exchange

- Listen, this man has dad reflexes and you can’t tell me otherwise

- So when he saw MC suddenly trip, he is very quick to put his arm out and wrap it around them to stop the fall

- Once he scans over them for any injuries and they are once again steady on their feet they give him a smile and say, “Thanks, Dad!”

- He watches them freeze, mortified they had just called him that

- He gets very flustered and stutters out a few things along the lines of “no problem kiddo! Uh and I gotta go to class now uhm uh BYE”

- They feel like he’d upset with them but in reality he had to go find a closet to cry in to avoid making a fool of himself in front of the teen

- He starts to baby them a bit more from that day on, from teaching them life skills you’d need to scolding them like a dad would when they misbehave

- He basically turns out to be like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, y’know like reffering to himself as “daddy” and crying and fussing over MC

- He was teaching MC about aquatic demons and their powers to help study for a test

- Before leaving they said “Thanks Dad- LEVI OMG I MEANT LEVIATHAN” and Both were blushing messes

- MC couldn’t stop apologizing and Levi just sat there in shock, watching the flustered human try and come up with an excuse

- “D-d-don’t worry about it! If you want to think of me like that its cool! I-uhm- I just feel glad you’re comfortable around me and look up to me,”

- He cried the second they left

- he sees them as more of his child afterwards and makes the decision to fill that role for them if they so desired

- Is an anime type of dad, y’know like how they act in anime? I cant really explain it but there's just a characteristic that they have i can’t put my finger on

- He and MC were in the library when it happened

- They were struggling to reach a book from a high shelf so he got it for them

- “Thanks, Dad!” MC had said cheerily, not even noticing what they had called him until they heard him drop the book he was holding

- Both of them just stood there for a moment

- They both silently agree to never mention the incident

- But it is obvious to MC that Satan was becoming more nurturing to them after that

- He was in his room, but was feeling a bit hungry, his nails were wet though so he didn’t want to get up

- He asked MC to grab him something to eat and they stood up saying “okay, Dad!”

- Time stopped for half a second before he tackled them with a big squeal

- “AWWW THAT WAS SO CUTE SWEETIE,”

- He teases them until the end of time because he likes seeing them so flustered

- But he also insists on babying them constantly

- He had thanked MC after they made him breakfast

- “No problem, Dad”

- He started crying happy tears and hugged them so hard that they could barely breathe

- He was blubbering about how he’d guide MC and raise them to be a good person and MC was just like OKAYYYYY

- Gets adoption papers and constantly helps them with everything ever that they could possibly need

- They were trying to wake him up and nearly gave him a heart attack when his half asleep ass just hears someone shaking him and saying “wake up dad”

- He shoots up and bumps heads with MC, and they both just stare at each other like o.O

- As soon as he processes what’s happened he gets a shit eating grin on his face

- He will tease them relentlessly and when they are like “i diDNT MEAN TO YOU JERK”

- he is just like, “Sure ya didn’t :)”

- Is overall just a cocky asshole over the whole ordeal

719 notes · View notes

virtubri · 3 years

Text

TSUKISHIMA & IWAIZUMI BEING CALLED PRETTY

a/n;; i cant explain how good corn flakes are omg

TSUKISHIMA-

ok this mf is so big on his pride and doesn’t want anyone to know that the pet name “pretty boy” affects SO MUCH but you’re not fooling anyone kei babe

like you both two were both on his bed snuggled close to each other and sharing earbuds with each other listening to music

Before you were able to cuddle with him it took soo much convincing ugh

“kei you know you want to be next to me just as much as i do”

this tsundere tried to deny that he wasn’t THAT DESPERATE (he was)

anyways back to the present

you smirked as you turned to face Kei, knowing that your teasing was about to begin

kei sensed your stare on him and turned to face you wondering what all your staring was about

you cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes and softly smiled “kei, my pretty boy”

He gasped and turned away from you the tip of his ears turning crimson red

“you are such a teasing brat..”

let's just say that your way of flustering kei every time

a round of applause to you sweetie

IWAIZUMI-

ughh my fav haji <3

you were in between hajime’s thighs and he was patting your head while talking to you

you were nestled between Hajime's thighs, and he was talking to you about a new action movie that is soon to come out while stroking your head

you were staring up at him, carefully listening to what he was saying, and telling him that you two should go see the movie when it comes out

you were holding his other free hand while rubbing your thumb along his rough skin

you pulled on his tie to signal to come closer to you

him chuckling on your gesture he leaned down to look at you

and you whispered to his ear “you are my pretty boy, haji”

he drew back and said, "is that so?"

161 notes · View notes

jadedxrealityw · 3 years

Text

-Amortentia- Blaise Zabini x Female Reader

☼-☪-☼

Kody: BLAISEEEEEEE DADDY- im sorry. yeah yeah i’m changing the canonical storyline- cry about it. I’m also fully aware Amortentia does not work like this lmao.

Request: you can make the summary short and less revealing for more fun hehe. Also it's totally up to you, dear! Only if you feel comfortable with it and no pressure! I hope you had a great weekend and drink more water ily <3 - 💐

House: Hufflepuff

Possible Triggers / Warnings: Slight slut shaming in the beginning, Draco being a little shit,

☼-☪-☼

you had been alone most of your life with your parents being on constant business trips from the ministry that would last for months on end. You were practically raised by your nanny, but she couldn’t teach you everything. You became socially awkward.

you never had any friends back at home which meant you had no experience communicating with people your age. You were walking awkwardness basically. It came at no surprise when you were sorted into Hufflepuff, even though both your parents were Slytherins- they weren’t disappointed in you though.

you had just managed to scramble by through your first four years of school. Four long years without any friends, but you didn’t mind. You could get by just by yourself. You were a strong independent woman and knew how to get yourself out of sticky situations.

unless it was stuck up Hufflepuff’s- then you were screwed

one fine day in your fourth year you were heading to the quidditch field so you could go watch the game. Slytherin against Hufflepuff. They were both tied at two wins against each other so you were eager to see who would win. You wore a brown buttoned sweater with a nice pear of tan overalls.

the fallen leaves under your foot made a satisfying crack noise as you walked along the field. The cheers and other various sounds of students were definitely drawing nearer. You popped another flavour bean into your mouth when a harsh push came to your shoulder, causing the box of flavour beans to fall.

you watched as they spilled out onto the grass with a look of solemn in your eyes “Dang- that was my last box” you mumble before a couple of snickers were heard in front of you. You look up to see three students wearing their regular Hufflepuff robes with there own casual clothes underneath.

“Drop something?” one asked. A girl with light brown bobbed hair and green eyes spoke. You nod once “Uh yeah, just my flavour beans. I- uh i can just buy new ones” you spoke, already starting to clam up “Your a hufflepuff aren’t you? Why aren’t you wearing yellow?” the girl asked somewhat accusingly.

alert alert. Confrontation detected. Activate escape protocol 17B

you didn’t answer and went to walk past them when another one of the three, a blond boy with blue eyes pushed you back to where you were standing. Shit. You fold your arms over your chest, looking at the ground “Your one of those Slytherin groupies are you, a house traitor?” the brown haired girl accused.

you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. This made the two Hufflepuffs more annoyed “What? Cant speak? Let me guess, your like those Draco fangirls. Sweetie. Your def not pretty enough for him” she adds, making the boy aside her laugh.

did she just say def? Have you ever even talked to Draco Malfoy? Not the time to be thinking about that. “I uh-” before you could speak anymore the girl held up her hand “Don’t even try to defend yourself, Slut” you went wide eyed. No one has ever been so nasty to you.

“I’ve never seen two Hufflepuffs go at one of their own, before” a girls laugh came from behind you. She had black shoulder length hair and bangs with brown eyes. Pansy Parkinson. In front of her was two boys dressed in Slytherin Quidditch uniforms.

You quickly identify the platinum blond boy with pale skin as Draco Malfoy. The hair was always a dead give away and the other boy was slightly taller then him with dark skin. He was very handsome for a boy your age. What was his name again? Oh! Blaise- Blaise Zabini.

“For Hufflepuff’s you two are quite nasty” Draco spoke, a grin playing on his lips. The boy Hufflepuff rolled his eyes “Yeah whatever Malfoy, what’re you going to do. Tell your father?” that struck a nerve in the young Malfoy as he went to lunge at them until Blaise put a arm out, blocking Draco.

“Now, Now. Let’s not get physical. You see, me and my fellow housemates overheard your very deplorable conversation with this what seems like sweet girl. Honestly, how can you bully someone who can’t even get a word in?” Blaise spoke in such a proper way that you almost couldn’t tell he was insulting them.

the girl and boy were silent as he spoke for a while until the girl spoke up once more “Oh so she’s one of your play things, Zabini?” she questions with a smug look. Blaise’s neutral expression switched into a disgusted one “I don’t have play things. I actually have respect for other woman”

Blaise didn’t let them get another word in before he stepped in front of you “Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?” he asked, using his hand to lift your chin and inspect your face. Touching- “No” you say in a meek voice. He nods once with a small smile “Good, now let’s go”

you tilt your head sto side. Go? “Um- go where?” you ask. Blaise gestures towards the quidditch field “The game of course. Me and Malfoy here have to get ready and you and Pansy will meet Theo in the Slytherin bleachers to watch the game of course.” as he spoke, Pansy skipped to your side, linking arms.

“Yeah! We can watch them make fools of themselves. Now lets go new friend!” Pansy said excitedly before practically dragged you towards the bleachers, leaving Draco and Blaise alone. The young Malfoy turned towards Blaise with a puzzled look “Since when did you involve yourself with Hufflepuffs?”

Blaise rolled his eyes before walking off, not answering his housemate

☼-☪-☼

7th year

after that day you became part of Blaise’s friend group. He’d talk to you as much as he talked to Theo, Pans, or Draco. Ask you how your day was, invite you to sit with him at lunch and even sneak you into the Slytherin house at times.

some people found it strange. A slytherin spending so much time with a Hufflepuff, but as stated Blaise didn’t care much of opinions hat didn’t come from his friends, but all his friends adored you. Case closed. It was around the end of sixth year is when your feelings changed from platonic to romantic.

you no longer saw him as your best friend that saved you from a bunch of nasty Hufflepuff’s all those years ago. You now saw him as someone you wanted to be with, all the time. To hold his hand, have him hold you, for him to just call you his. You fell hard.

but there was this fear, this fear that it would ruin everything you had with him. It was too great a risk, so like any normal person. You kept quiet as mouse and refused to let anyone know your feelings. Except for Pansy of course, but she found out on her own. Then told Draco, who told Theo.

everyone knew except Blaise actually

it was lunch and the Slytherins were waiting for you to arrive, Draco cleared his throat, getting the attention of the rest of them “I have a terribly good idea” he says, making Blaise look at him curiously “And that is?” he asked, leaning in to here what his housemate had to say.

Draco reaches into robe and pulls out a pink heart shaped bottle. “What in the hell? Why do you have a love potion?” Pansy asked with a amused chuckle. “Well- Y/n confessed to me that she had a crush on someone, but was too afraid to tell them. So i’m going to slip this into her drink to move her along”

Pansy and Theo both look at each other knowingly. They know full well that little ferret was lying. Y/n told Pansy first. What was he playing at? “That is so wrong on so many levels, Malfoy” Blaise spoke up first, looking at him in distaste.

“Hey! She told me that she wished she was more confident so she could tell this person there feelings. I’m being a good friend!” Draco retorted, another lie. Blaise face drops a little “Who even is this person she’s confessing to. It better not be some low life Gryffindor” Blaise grumbles.

Pansy’s eyebrow wiggles “Is that jealousy i here, Zabini?” she teases. Blaise rolls his eyes before looking back at his plate “Y/n can like whoever she want’s” he grumbles. “Really? ‘Cause your stabbing your steak” Pansy asked, leaning over across the table.

Blaise was indeed repeating jabbing at his food with his fork “I will use the slug-vomiting charm on you” he spoke, gritting his teeth. Pansy just smiled innocently “Cursing Pan’s i see” a voice came from behind him. Blaise turned his head around to see you, holding a textbook “Sorry i was late, got caught up”

you take a seat next to Blaise, seeing a full plate and water put out for you “Thanks for saving me some food?” you say with a small smile. “I did actually, because i’m your favorite” Draco gives you a sweet smile, one that you laugh nervously at “Uh- sure?” you reply.

☼-☪-☼

once finished your food, you reached for the cup of water and took a sip. As you go and place it down you notice that they were all staring at you? “What?” you ask and Theo gives you a smile “Feel any different?” he asked. You purse your lips together and slowly shake your head “No, i feel alright”

Draco huffs and places his head in his hand. You look over at Blaise who had went back to eating his food. You notice something on the corner of his mouth and grab the napkin on your table. Reaching up you wipe away the food on the corner of his mouth.

Blaise flinches and grabs your hand “What’re you doing?” he asked, gazing down at you. You snicker a bit at his reaction and gently tug your arm out of his grip “You had something on your mouth, didn’t want it to mess up your handsome face” you reply.

Pansy chokes on her water, which turns into a coughing fit. Blaise stared at you blankly, just blinking mindlessly while Draco punched the air.

☼-☪-☼

now, mind you. A typical love potion last up to 24 hours, but Draco being the idiot he was accidently poured half the bottle into your drink. So it was safe to say it was going to last more than a day. “Your a bloody fool, Malfoy!” Blaise exclaims.

“I didn’t mean to pour half of it! Someone bumped into me!” Draco retorts while both Theo and Pansy eat a box of flavour beans they were sharing, just casually watching the chaos unfold. “That my be true, but you still served it to her! You took advantage of her vulnerability!” Blaise shouts back.

Draco’s face fell, yeah could be a little prick sometimes, but he also cared about you deeply. He couldn’t tell Blaise he was your crush, but he could try to make it right. “I’ll make the antidote, but it will be a couple days” Blaise nods “Sorry for shouting” he says. Draco nods once before leaving the hallway.

“Hey guys” jeez- you just snuck up on people. Blaise steps towards you “Shouldn’t you be heading to charms class?” he asked, crossing his arms “What? Do you have her schedule memorized?” Pansy questions with a small laugh.

Blaise exhales deeply “I have a copy of it actually. Anyway-” he says and turns his attention back to you. “What do you need?” he asks, his tone changing to a more calm one. “Can you walk me to class?” you ask. Blaise raises a brow “Why?” he asked, not that he would have a problem.

“I want to spend more time with you” you spoke very nonchalantly. You almost wondered how you even spoke those words yourself. Blaise looks stunned for a moment, before a smile made a way to his face. This was just the potion talking, you were spewing nonsense he thought “As do i? Let’s get going shall we”

you smile brightly and grab his a=hand, interlocking your fingers. Blaise gives you a small nod before covering his mouth with his hands. Both Pansy and Theo watch them walk away “5 galleons Blaise confesses to Y/n by the end of this whole ordeal” Pansy points, chewing on a flavour bean.

Theo watched along her and nods “Your on, 10 galleons they both end up being friends again”

☼-☪-☼

it has been TWO days and Draco still hasn’t made the antidote. He claimed it was because he had to gather all the supplies without Snape around, which was probably true. Blaise had started to kind of- sort of- maybe- like the attention you were giving him.

oh yeah- surprise! Blaise had had a crush on you even longer then you did, he just knew how to keep his composure around you. It was easy for him, but it didn’t make him any less terrified of what would happen if those feelings were revealed.

currently, you were both sitting in the courtyard, studying on a bench, your choice. “I think that’s enough for the day. I’m surprised you asked me for my help. You usually never ask me for any academic advice” Blaise spoke, knowing full well why she asked him. The love potion.

you look up at him, closing the textbook in your hands “Well, you and Draco are the smartest people i know, but i prefer your company more” you smile lightly as you begin to cram the textbook into your bag. Blaise feels his heartbeat pick up once again.

It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. Think rationally Zabini! “I’m glad to hear that” he nods once. You both stand up from the bench and the curiosity gets the better of him. “So, what people have you’ve been talking too the past couple days?”

he wanted to know if you had actually been talking to your crush. So he could murder them talk to them man to man/woman. You shrug your shoulders “Just you guys, who else would i be talking to?” you spoke “Oh! i have an exam to take in potions! i’ll see you at dinner!”

you spoke with haste before leaning up to kiss his cheek “Bye Blaise!” and with that you ran off towards the entrance. Blaise held up his hand for a moment before exhaling “She’s- been only- talking to us? Who the hell is her crush then?” he thought aloud before picking up his things and walking away.

both Pansy and Theo pop up from behind the bushes “For a genius student, he sure is a idiot” Pansy spoke, eating the last bit of her cauldron cake. Theo nods “I thought Draco would be done with the antidote already?” he says. Pansy grinned evilly.

“Yeah...he should, but i keep hiding the ingredients. Blaise needs more time to realize she’s into him” she spoke, wiping her mouth off. Theo gasps and wacks her shoulder “That’s cheating! and you ate my last cauldron cake!” he sighs, crossing his arms.

“Yeah? Cry about it Nott”

☼-☪-☼

“It’s done!” a loud shout came from the dorm hallways of the Slytherin house towards the common room. Draco came running towards them, panting like a dog. “What’s done?” Pansy asked, sitting next to Theo eating a bowl of popcorn. No- they don’t know where she got it either.

“The antidote for Y/n’s love potion. It took so long because i kept misplacing everything. All we need to do is sneak it into her drink at dinner tonight” he explains. Blaise shot up from the loveseat he was sat on reading a book and snatched the vile from Draco. “Hey! What the hell?!”

“I’m not lying to Y/n anymore then i have to. I’ll catch up with you guys later” Blaise said before walking out the portrait door. “Alright that’s our cue!” Pansy and Theo stood up “What’re you guys doing?” Draco asked with a confused expression on his face.

“Spying on Blaise and Y/n to make sure they confess to each other” Theo explains, walking away with Pansy. Draco blinked a couple times before shaking his head “Guys that is such an invasion of there privacy and trust, they are our friends and we should be respectful......i’m coming with you”

bestie things i guess

☼-☪-☼

Blaise had just made it out the dungeons when he bumped into someone “Watch where your- oh Y/n. Why are you down here?” he asked. You chuckle and push away from him “I was going to see if Pansy wanted to have another sleepover, why are you out here? Dinner hasn’t started yet”

Blaise thinks of his next words before holding up the vile “I need you to drink this Y/n”

“What why?”

“Just do it”

“But-”

“If you trust me you will. I would never harm you”

“...Okay”

you grab the vile from his hand and pop the cork off. You look at the vile then Blaise who nods once. Exhaling, you pour the strange liquid down your throat, twinging at the unfamiliar taste. You feel almost a swirl around your chest before you look at Blaise again “What was that?”

Blaise places his hands on your shoulders, your face heating up slightly. Once again you were back being unnerved by this guy, but you didn’t notice “How do you feel about me Y/n?” he asked, making your E/c eyes widen a bit. “I’m sorry- come again?”

he sighs deeply and looks you in the eye. Ooo eye contact, scary. “the same i did yesterday?” you say vaguely. because who the hell asks that kind of question. Blaise lets go of your shoulders and rubs his face with his his hands. He was frustrated. “Y/n, how do you feel about me?”

you shrink at his gaze. The first thought that ran through your mind was that Pansy had snitched to him that you were in love with him “I’m so sorry- i didn’t want to tell you because i thought you would think i was weird!” you spurt out, confusing Blaise just a tad more.

“What are you talking about!?”

“Pansy told you about my crush on you didn’t she!?”

“Your what!?”

oh if the world could swallow you whole now “Oh merlin- i thought that’s what she told you!” you shout before trying to activate escape protocol 17B again and walk away. Blaise almost thought about letting you leave but you liked him! he was terrified you didn’t! but you do! So, why would he let you leave!?

he reaches back and grabs your arm, stopping you from walking any further “I get it. You don’t want to be friends anymore” you spoke sadly. Blaise stepped towards you, but you looked down at your feet instead of him “Your right, i don’t want to be friends anymore Y/n”

you felt your heart shatter. That was until one of his long arms wrapped around your waist and other pointed your chin up to look at him “I want you to be mine and i, yours” he spoke, a slight grin on his lips. Say what now? did Blaise Zabini just confess to you?

“Oh...”

“Is that all you have to say to that? I just spilled my heart out to you”

“What- what should i say?”

“Yes?...No?”

“Oh! yes- yes. Definitely yes! ”

“That’s a relief. I thought i had just made a full of myself”

“You are no fool Blaise Zabini”

Blaise gave you a small smile before leaning down. Oh shit. He stops midway, lips centimeters from yours “It is okay if i kiss you, correct?” he asks. We love a consent king. You nod slowly, making his smile grow wide before he presses his lips to yours.

“5 galleons you little shit, hand it over!” you both pull apart as three idiots come falling out a nearby broom closet. Pansy spilled her popcorn all over the hallway floor in the process. “Screw you Pansy, you cheated you pig!” Theo snaps back, Pansy hitting the back of his head “I am no pig!”

Draco was just lying face first on the floor, hoping no one would notice his presence. “Oh right pug-face!” Theo smirks. Pansy gasps before pulling out her wand “You are dead you queer!” she shouts. Theo pulled out his wand as well “You have a girlfriend, homo!” he shouts.

Pansy sputters for a moment “That’s besides the point!” they both circle each other as Draco picks himself off the floor “I shouldn’t have come” he mumbles, dusting off his robes. Both you and Blaise look at each other before bursting into laughter.

☼-☪-☼

Taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @pxroxide-prinxcesss

☼-☪-☼

Kody- I have no words for this other then- what the fuck did i just write? Anyways, peace!

269 notes · View notes

warmau · 3 years

Text

love languages x day6

*this post was commissioned | commissioner asked for something loving + warm.....so here is something overly cheesy indulgent and hopefully warm

sungjin

acts of service

doesn’t think twice about peeling all of the tangerines himself and sharing the halves with you without a word - just one slice for you, one slice for him

can’t leave you alone when you’re cooking or cleaning.

you tell him he’s busy from all of the bands schedules and he should just let you do it for once but a moment later

he’s standing beside you and chopping vegetables or he’s snatching the broom from you before you can even get started

you don’t complain too much though, he does look really cute in the kitchen apron

a man of little words he literally does all of this because he wants to say he loves and appreciates you but the words don’t come out easy like they might for other members

so when you’re alone and you tell him you love him you cant really get worked up over the fact that he barely mumbles something into your hair

because he’s shy about it - but he’s not shy about getting up first and bringing the cup of coffee to you in bed

people don’t give him as much credit as they should, which frustrates you, because sungjin is the kind of boyfriend and just the kind of friend who will bend over backwards for the people he cares for

from lugging all the instruments around, helping members with suitcases, or volunteering himself for the short end of the stick in bad situations

sometimes it gets so bad you have to put your hands on his face and steady him and be like sungjin, no. the boys can handle it without you.

and he’s like but im the leader-

and youre like shhhhhhhh before i kiss you so hard you cant breath for the next five minutes

and sungjin stares at you with those big brown eyes and hes kinda like well now im just gonna say something so you do tha-oH

you and him get like an hour alone before he has to leave on tour and it is supposed to be full of sweet words and i miss yous

and sungjin just comes in with a bag full of groceries and you’re like is that for your tour

and he’s like oh no this is some stuff that i noticed you needed from last time

and you’re like babe you’re leaving in like thirty minutes stop thinking about things to do for me

and he just looks at you and says; “i can’t stop, im always going to be thinking about what i can do for you.”

just another way of saying ill miss you and i love you suppose LOL

jae

words of affirmation

will never admit it out loud but if someone isn’t telling him he’s doing a good job. he will die.

and guess who gets that job? you - the second jae fell in love with you (and he do so very clumsily) you have been hired

jae does this kind of little look over his shoulder at you whenever he does something he thinks is cool or fun and you have dated for a while so immediately you’re like

“that was amazing come here” and he trots over with literal hearts spinning around his head (youngk gagging in the distance)

but if you miss the little beat then jae just looks like a puppy that got left out in the rain until you rush over to do damage control LOL

with work or anything like that it’s this sort of playful thing between you two

where you’re like jae you are the best at skateboarding. singing. playing guitar. all of it. and he’s like am i the best? really? and you’re like YES THE BEST

but the real affirmation he chases from you is the guarantee that you ........ love him

some people like to be close without words, some people can talk with their hands or gestures

but jae wants it said - and you are happy to oblige

kiss him all you want and not like he’s gonna not enjoy it but when you say something about how he makes you the happiest person on earth well some things are just better you know?

when you say this stuff to him while you’re ontop of him and jae just - eyes rolling back but let’s move on

when days are really bad or jae is not in a good mood everyone has learned that the cure for him is your voice

so sungjin calls you and even if jae tries to be like IM FINE sungjin puts you on speaker and is like “please cheer him up and be as gushy as possible in front of all of us”

you: “jae you know i adore you and you’re my pumpkin pie sweeti-”

jae skidding across the table to take you off speaker: “I WILL TALK TO THEM IN THE OTHER ROOM-”

he scurries out to listen to you coo to him privately and the rest of day6 is like waiting

and jae comes back, shining like a sunbeam until dowoon is like

“so pumpkin pie sweetie are you feeling ok?”

jae about to fling the phone at dowoon before sungjin is like HEY-

youngk

quality time

seems like a total homebody hermit who is like leave me be im ok living in solitude like a monk on a mountain

but the reality is that if he loves someone, and he loves you, if you two cant have that time together - he just feels wrong

like the gravity around everything else he is doing is just off centered

and everyone can tell because it is like a raincloud just starts following him around

and also - he gets very grumpy

jae teases him and is like awwwwwww do you miss your s/o are you getting all saaaaaaaad

and youngk is like shuttup no im not im fine

sungjin (who has a brain) is like no he’s literally going through withdrawal and then hits your number on the speed dial

he’s ok with group dates and being around the band and your other friends but there is really nothing like one on one intimacy to him

and that could literally be as innocent as sitting in the back of an empty bus, holding hands and sharing each other as pillows

to locking the bedroom door and falling over onto his sheets

tries to be slick about it though and texts you like “wanna come over?” and you’re like “oh ;)” and he’s like “........jae will be in the other room don’t lose your mind in the gutter”

but plot twist jae is not in the other room actually youngk has bribed everyone to be gone for an hour or two and you well

you pretend not to notice for your easily flustered boyfriends sake

gets the softest when you are alone ........ he puts up a front around others but if it is just you

running your fingers through his hair and listening to him sigh happily in your neck

that’s when the tender words like “i can’t live without you” come out

funnily enough he’ll say something so beautiful just for you to hear and when you kinda hear a similar sound lyric in day6s next album you’re like oh? was i inspiration?

youngk getting red down to his neck: NO?

wonpil begs you guys to do more PDA or something because he’s a sucker for love and sometimes he feels like you guys hold back

and youngk is like if you want to live another day-

jkjk

you just hold youngk’s hand and tell wonpil not to worry, once everyone is gone and it’s just you two, it is actually quite romantic

everyone is like we cant imagine youngk being sweet

but he really is, he cherishes you so much and he needs you to himself far away from the world and all its stress

what im saying is yes he seems like he’d be like leave me alone but like dont leave the room im in and actually just stay right here in his lap

wonpil

receiving gifts

and not in a materialistic kind of way but in a “im always thinking about you” way

there is no feeling like seeing wonpil after a long time and the first thing you do after running into his arms is going “i got you something while you were away!”

and as nice as big, expensive, frilly gifts on holidays are - what wonpil really loves the most is when you drop something in his hands and tell him you noticed he needed it

“oh, i remember you said you didn’t have anymore bandaids at the studio” “you should take sunscreen with you - here i got you some” “you’ve had that old jacket for so long, let’s go get you a new one for the winter.”

everytime you say something so casually to him, it just makes the inside of his heart burst because

you are always listening to him, observing him, thinking about his needs

and if that’s not love then. well.

you staring at a bunch of tickets and receipts in a box in wonpils room: what is this.........

wonpil: it’s from all our dates! they’re the gifts of the good memories!

you trying not to cry because he’s the cutest person on earth: o-oh

lmao jae will sometimes have to stop wonpil if they’re packing for a tour because wonpil could fit a suitcase full of stuff you’ve either given him or he got with you like

wonpil: im taking the blender. me and my love bought it at ikea three months ago

jae: im sure the hotels will have blenders...........

he attributes sentimental value to anything you touch really and wonpil can be overwhelming in all aspects of love

he likes touching you, he likes giving you uplifting words, he likes doing things for and he of course wants to spend every second with you

but something about having things that are shared

or just his because you gave it to him ............ another level

but don’t be fooled. he showers you in twice as much because he wants you to feel that same thing he feels everytime

dowoon

physical touch

hand is on you. on your shoulder. on your waist. on the top of your head if need be.

he will try to inch down from your waist when he thinks no one is looking before sungjin is grabbing him by the ear like boy - i taught you better

you: it’s fine i dont mind

dowoon: *:P intensifies*

but really he is like an overactive puppy when it comes to you because wow you are tangible and you love him and he loves you why cant he touch you every. second. of. the. day.

the funny thing is when you first started dating it was nothing like this - dowoon can be shyer than most and so it took him close to two weeks to gather the courage to hold your hand first

but now that it is comfortable and established it’s like he cannot live without it

kisses? gotta have them, before the set. after the set. when you wake up together in the morning. before you go to sleep.

you pushing his face away like you have morning breath and he’s like i will kiss you if my life depends on it

you also have noticed that if you are in a situation together where touching would be super inappropriate or something

dowoon will find a way to make contact. he will either play with the fabric of something you’re wearing or he’ll bump your hands together when you reach for something

part of you assumes he’s just being cheeky, but the reality is that touching for dowoon does so more than any words or gifts or anything

because you cannot lie through a touch - he either feels your warmth or he doesn’t

and when he doesn’t, life just sucks plain and simple

youngk: “jesus you’re on each other like a bad rash”

jae: “you sound jealous”

dowoon and you: “true youngk you do sound jealous.”

youngk grumbling: “young people....................”

there probably hasn’t ever been a moment where you’re ordering something at a fastfood place and dowoon is like order for me too and youre like do it yourself and hes like im busy and youre like busy doing what and hes hugging you from behind and hes like idk im busy holding my entire world now can you tell them i dont want pickles

#day6 scenarios #day6 au #day6 #jae au #youngk au #dowoon au #wonpil au #sungjin au #writing commissions

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mrkis · 2 years

Note

WARNINGS//SPOILERS FROM PARTS 1 AND 2 (although im deadass sure everybody read those two chapters)

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.

ISTFG. M. IM SCREAMING OVER HERE

I JUST READ PARTS 1 AND 2 OF TWLG (skipped the nsfw, im mildly clean) (the kiss scene in part 1 felt like a whole smut scene tho like holy fuck that was fucking HOT) AND IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGG HOLY SHIT

FIRST OF ALL. MC. I LOVE HER!? THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN HER AND ALL OF THE GUYS IS SO GOOD TO SEE, ISTFG IM KINDA PUSHING FOR MC AND YANGYANG OVER HERE BUT LIKEEEEEEE!!???!?! FDHSJKFAHKDA I LOVE YANGYANG TOO MUCH

MIWOO!???! OKAY. OKAY- MIWOO IS A BITCH, BUT SHE'S MY BITCH. SHE'S MY TYPE OF BITCH AND IM TOTALLY LIVING FOR IT BECAUSE SHE IS JUST A GODDAMN MOOD- ISTG I AM MIWOO IRL. I DONT THINK THINGS THROUGH AND I DEF JUST SCREAM THINGS OUT AND FEEL CRAPPY ABOUT IT LATER AND APOLOGIZE FHSDJKDLSAFD I LOVE MIWOO SO GODDAMN MUCH AND MY HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

haru. girlie. i love haru so much. she is like the therapist i never knew i needed until she like, HAPPENED. istfg... haru is such a nice friend and im living for it like whY CANT I HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT!???!? haru is so SWEET and haru + renjun moments just make my heart go mushy i love it so much (oMG WHEN HARU AND RENJUN SAID THEY WEREN'T DATING I WAS LIKEEEEEEEE BISHHHHHHHH STOP THE CAP WE ALL KNOW YALL ARE DATING LIKE BISH WHO YOU TRYING TO FOOL RN)

the boys. STOP. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SHOTARO!??!?!??! TARO IS SUCH A SWEETIE AND LIKE OH MY GOD HE IS ABSOLUTELY SO GODDAMN CUTE ISTG FHDSJFKDSLYEWROR I BUST SUCH A BIG UWU THINKING ABOUT HIM

istg YANGYANG IS PROLLY MY BIAS IN THIS FIC AND LIKE FDHSJFLYWEREWRNEW,UIOWREW YANGYANG IS SO YES. LIKE. IDFC ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY BUT YES. YANGYANG IS YES.

donghyuck honestly makes me laugh like LOUD like that man is a fucking walking sitcom like him trying to go for aisha and failing is probably the best thing i read in those two chapters (jk. EVERYTHING MIWOO DID WAS ICONIC AND DEF THE BEST PART IN THOSE TWO CHAPTERS <3333333333) like that rejection just made me laugh so damn much it was so goddamn funny

i feel like there was very little jeno action in the two chapters i read but like whenever jeno comes out he just honestly is kind of iconic.... like this man kinda just pops in here or there and he drops a comment about something and im in my seat (on the floor actually) wheezing my ass off istg

finally. na fucking jaemin. istfg.... im gonna cry. OMG. I SWEAR I STARTED SCREAMING AT THE END OF CHAPTER ONE WHEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO STAY SO BADLY?!?? LIKE ISTG I REMEMBER THAT PIECE OF DIALOGUE CLEARLY IN MY HEAD IT WAS SO NOT OKAY LIKE SIR WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL ISTFG WNEIDUWVWJSWOUEEVD

i gotta enter this universe and become miwoo's toilet seat with 🦦 anon goddammit

- 🎡

oh my fucking god this ask LMAOOO your freakout on discord made me laugh but this.. BAHAHAH

#🎡

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pandasized-crevice · 2 years

Text

MY FRESH JUST WATCHED KINNPORSCHE EP8 THOUGHTS

I PROBABLY FORGOT SOME STUFF I NORMALLY TYPE THIS ON MY LAPTOP WHILE I WATCH THE EP BUT RN I JUST HAVE MY PHONE SO ONWARDS WE SCOOT

THEY ARE SO FUCKKMG CUTE PLEAAE LOOK AT THEM

Last night was incredible😏😏

Porsche kissing kinns forehead?YES PLEAse

Me watching them:🥺🥺💖

Oh lord someone’s here

Kinn you asshole!

Pete sweetie…….

A whole thing of bread?nice not obvious product placement yall💀

THE THUMBS UP AHAHA

kinn…..beckoning Porsche….with his finger…..?I’m going to be totally normal about this (this is a lie)

THERE HE GOES

Side note;who eats plain bread for breakfast?not even toasted?!NO JELLY

Bread eating should not be hot…

And yet here we are…..

Kinn and Porsche wearing the others sock can be something so personal

Oh okay so it’s like showing them as days go by

THE FOOT SCENE WE WIN!!!!!!!

Jesus CHRIST ON THE LITTLE TABLE YOU GUYS!?

Punishment….sir ken that’s what’s going on….

Big rn “god I wish that was me”

NOT THE BUTTONS LORD

TO THE WINDOOOOOW TO THE WALL!!!!!!

They are so horny for each other

And I don’t blame them

Jom and Tem!!YOK HELLO QUEEN

Aw Porsche is unsure since kinns his first boyfriend 🥺valid valid

Heartbroken you say??i fucking wonder why🤨⏱🕰⏰

Look at him wanting to go on a date with kinn!!!HE IS TRYING SO HARD

so those aren’t Porsches clothes??!?

Both of them being unused to their relationship is so fucking SCRUMPTIOUS im glad they’re showing it

Me watching kinnporsche be cute:🥰🥺🥰

Me knowing they’re giving us so much fluff cuz angst is coming:🕴🏻😶☹️

Ik they’re a hot ass couple but cafe patrons MIND YALLS BUSSNIES

Aw Porsche don’t let go☹️

Kinn grabbing Porsches hand again YES GOOD

there’s a pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nice

Porsche is so dedicated to making this date perfect please

Porsche being the so that takes pictures before eating and kinn being the so who goes along with it is so fuxking true

Where tf did porsche have that camera?up his ass?

THE FUCKING PHOTO MONTAGE P L E A S E MY HEART

Kinn is so fuxking cute kissing on Porsche?I CANNOT HANDLE

KINN GIVING PORSCHE A PHONE JUST FOR CALLING HIM? W O W

TAWAN🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🚨🚨🚨

Bro why is tawan literally this 🕴🏻🧍🏻

THIS SCENE TOO OMG

Them running around the place is so fucking precious

Kinn just looking at Porsche like THAT my heart has melted

UNDERWATER KISS YALL SEE THAT😮

Quitting smoking you say?

Pete pete pete pete pete💖💖💖

KINN PORSCHE CANT SEXT YOU RN HES ON THE CLOCK

PORSCHE LOOK OUT🚨🧍🏻🗣

well no one said Porsche was an artist…..

These fools sneaking into kinns room please dumb and dumber

Why is Porsche ostrich😭💀

Which celebrity did kinn sleep with LET US SEE PORSCHE 👁👁

ITA THE PICTURE 🗣🗣🗣🧍🏻

Porsche is giving Wei wuxian after he makes wen Ning leave YALL KNOW YALL SEE IT

“If it’s this guy I need the other gun” HELLO?HELLO H E. L L O

Porsche is so cute apo you god amongst men🙌👏👏

DAMN KINN HOWS MY BOY SUPPOSED TO HIDE THESE HICKIES

oh pete….never change

Oh we giving merit i see

Aw Porsche thinks tawan is a ghost 💀😭we know he’s scared of that shit

TANKHUN BELOVED YAY

always with the kdramas he’s just like me

THE MAKEUP💀 That seems so fun actually I wanna do that with my friends

POL PLEASE JESUS CHRIST

tankhun kicking Porsche out 💀harsh but had to be done hes so jumpy

Not Porsche calling kinn cuz he’s scared💀

kinn heard No clothes and he said SAY LESS🏃🏃🏃

WHYD KINN CATXH IT IN HIS MOUTH SIR💀

Oh we talking about 🧍🏻🕴🏻

Anytime porsche says love,in love with kinn,I gain eyebrows

Fuck tawan fr🗣🗣

Kinns face when Porsche pulls out the picture 💀

Tell him porsche tf you still have it sir🤨porsche is JIST LIKE ME FR

Aw they’re doing the merit thing together love that

NO SIR WE DONT NEED A BIGGER ONE THANKS

UM fuck yall🚨🧍🏻🗣

So tawan was just wondering around like that for days?you couldn’t changed or something?

I JUST REMEMBERED THE KIMCHAY STUFF SHIT

so Kim thinks Porsches parents were killed alright same

Kim please no jokes 💀

wasted too much time🤨CHAY IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME YOU WHORE

ANSWER THE PHONE KIM😶👊👊

BABY CHAY!!!

Since Kim showed up to Chays house uninvited it’s only fair that chay do it as well

I.love.chay.SO.MUCH

THE LOVE SONG PLEQAW CHAY😭😭

Kim get ready for me to rock your shit sir it’s coming I AM COMING🕴🏻🚨

Okay the preview,I hate that they’re putting it at the very freaking end damn: YAY THEY PUT HIM IN THE CELL!!! That’d better not be kinn going to see tawan while he’s in the bath…(predicting it now that it’s vegas PLEASE DONT LET IT BE KINN) (SHIT I REWATXHED IT AND I THINK ITS KINN I SEE A RING😭TF YOU DOING THERE KINN)tawan if you don’t shut the fuck up😶👊👊

Y’all I watched this whole ep in a car with my family I need to pterodactyl screech about it so bad😭😭

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #thai bl series #this is so long sorry not sorry #thai series #kinn x porsche #kinnporsche ep8 #cellulars FJWKPT #I wanted to screech so many times yall😭#but I held it in like a winner

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eitelle · 3 years

Note

hey hi, elle ✨ it’s been a while since i popped by, oopsie 😭 anywho, i wanted to say congratulations on the 200! very well-deserved for sure. (also, your blog’s theme is immaculate, no clue if i’ve said anything about it yet) and, if it’s alright, i do have a little order to place for your event ✨ (we’re going to ignore how awkward i am smh)

you know i’ve gotta ask for that romantic bokuto because i am nothing more than a simp for that man 😩💙 my heart needs a little fluff in its life right about now. i’ve got some brief info for you; we’re a chaotic duo—the type that goes on random adventures at any time of day/night. cuddly and clingy. pretty competitive with one another. however, sometimes i get overwhelmed by not having enough space and that’s a cause for trouble some days 😭 i don’t exactly have a set trope but i do like domestic type tropes (if that’s a thing)—love your writing style and any song is fine by me 💙

thank you and congratulations again, lovely! 💙💙

BESTIE HI I MISSED U HOWVE U BEEN <33 also i think this is rly funny but the meme was like not shown by tumblr bc it was like graphic or smt 😭😭 IT WAS SO FUNNY

hehe dw babe im probably more awk

EHEHEHE I HAVE SUCH A GOOD SONG FOR THIS I LOVE THE DOMESTIC TROPE (yes it is a thing) (i think) (i hope this fit your satisfaction)

the song of the day is: cant help falling in love by elvis presley (aka my fav song sjdhdiux)

im so sorry this is late 😭😭

(cw: teen pregnancy, timeskip!bokuto, baby girl named chisana (baby owl kinda))

“ Wise men say / Only fools rush in ,,

the way bokuto and you got together was, unconventional to say the least. some may say you two were irresponsible and yes, you were.

“ But I can't help falling in love with you ,,

but to you and bokuto, anything was worth it for your baby girl chisana.

“ Shall I stay? ,,

you two werent dumb or naive. in fact the two of you were quite educated and enlightened. he acted quite childish, but you knew it was because kou was just empathetic and sensitive. but that didn’t mean you two were dumb. thats why it was a shock to everyone at your pregnancy, and a shock to you when he got down on one knee.

“ Would it be a sin / If I can't help falling in love with you? ,,

of course you said no. but that didnt mean you refused, or broke up with him.

“ Like a river flows / Surely to the sea ,,

actually you started crying, nodded your head but said, “not right now. i want to wait until after our little chisana fukurō is born and we’re stable enough to get married.” he respected your decision and the two of you carried on with a baby by your side.

“ Darling, so it goes / Some things are meant to be ,,

but even before chisana was born, you knew koutaro and you were meant to be. and so, you two got married on may 16th, 2018, the half birthday of your daughter 4 years after she was born.

“ Take my hand ,,

“KOU!” you squeal as he hugs you from behind as you cook dinner. “wheres ‘sana?”

“shes playing but you wanna know what im playing?” he asks while reaching to turn off the stove and spin you, the food already being done anyways. “our song.”

“ Take my whole life too ,,

as the two of you dance and laugh in your dining room, your daughter chisana or affectionately referred to as ‘sana, comes out for dinner.

“ For I can't help falling in love with you ,,

as you two sway, sana waddles over and sways to your calf. “mommy, daddy,” she says.

“yes sweetie?” you respond.

“im so glad i know what love looks like when i see you and daddy.”

“arent you cute,” koutaro says while picking her up and spinning her. as he sets her down you pinch her cheeks. “but i think its time to eat the yummy dinner mommy made, hm?”

“ok!” she exclaims with enthusiasm, as you whisper, “youre doing the laundry today,” to your husband on your way to the table a snicker escapibg your lips.

#I HOPE U LIKE!!#reis anime musical collection

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worstloki · 4 years

Text

Part 1

--[official naming and legal rights ceremony for Morgan]--

Tony: you know what would be really funny? Pepper: Tony... Tony: THINK about it Pep- how can you say no to this once in a lifetime opportunity? Pepper: Rhodey and Steve. We already decided. Tony: ok fine. FINE! I'll just give up the chance for our daughter to have two literal powerhouses watching over her Pepper: one of them isn't even alive! Tony, signing the paperwork: he was the dodgy one anyways! Pepper: oh g*d tell me you didn't Tony: too late. our daughter's got 1 thunderer and 1 deceased trickster listed as her ~*godparents*~ and no punishment you come up with will ruin this moment for me Pepper: its fine, this is fine, it wont even be legally binding since you can't have two male godparents listed so its invalid anyways, haha this is fine, everything is fine,,, Tony: i actually heard from Thor that Loki could be female if they wanted... Pepper: ... Pepper: TONY!! -- [later] -- Rhodey: dude did you seriously put LOKI down as a legal guardian for your kid instead of me Tony: well I wanted Thor but he insisted that I put Loki down too... something about honouring Asgardian tradition...? Rhodey: tradition is fine but isn't he DEAD? Tony: sure Thor thought he was dead 5 years ago, then again 4 years ago, and then again 2 years ago... but if he was alive he would have already, statistically speaking, shown up by now Rhodey shaking his head fondly: okay i forgive you for replacing me with Thor and his deceased brother, but the next kid has my name on it. I've already called dibs with no takebacks, okay? Tony: one kid is already keeping me busy enough, honeybear...

---[3 years later]---

Tony: And. I. Am. Iron Man... *snaps* Thanos' army: *disintegrates* Tony: *taking his last breathes* Pepper: you can rest now... Loki: *shoves Pepper aside and pulls the gauntlet off Tony* Pepper and Rhodey and Peter who were standing around tony: LOKI ?!? Dr Strange: no SToP you cant juST do THAT- Loki, taking out the time stone: why not Dr Strange: if you change anything now it'll ruin the timelines!!! Loki, reversing time on Tony and bringing him back to life: that's not how time works, Dr. Supreme Dr Strange: It’s Strange, and- Loki: Yes, I agree, it is strange that you decided to let Earth's best hero die when literally every infinity stone is rigHT HERE Dr Strange: but its wrong to misuse their pow- Loki: Then it’s a good thing I'm evil and don't care Dr Strange: buT- Loki: no need to worry, I'm only helping you heroes out this one time because apparently while I was stardust Tony chose to give me partial ownership over his child so now i am bound to care for it Pepper, remembering that Loki is legally Morgan’s godparent: oh my g*d Rhodey: well, I bet Tony didn't expect this Tony, speaking in his sleep: frickity frackity Loki, looking at Tony disapprovingly: I agree. --[a week later]-- Tony: okay, so like, i don't want to seem ungrateful for you saving my life, but i only wrote your name down to get Thor - Loki, annoyed: Yes I figured as much Tony: -yes but if you've saved my life I was wondering exactly how bound you are to help and how far you're willing to go to watch over her Loki: does this have anything to do with the 18+ end-of-the-world-celebration party at the end of the week? Tony: maybe Loki: *stares at him* Tony: ...okay, yES… do you think you could make sure Morgan is alive and well and safe while I go? It’s clear you don't appreciate being forced to be her godparent so if you do it I'll even get your name off the legal documentation by the end of the week and you can leave after Loki: If you so much as try to remove my name when it is THOR that has been neglectful of his duty and has been ignoring the implications of having a child under their name then I will have no choice but to hit you over the head with stormbreaker Tony: oh. okay. no name removing then that's cool i guess just please don't smite me or i'll dob to thor that you're going to try touching his shiny axe and have are regressing on your journey to goodness Loki, pulling stormbreaker out of his pocket dimension: I’m afraid you’re too late to warn him about the potential theft of his favourite beer opener. I will, however, watch Morgan over both days of the party, IF I also get put in charge of the spider child and Wakanda's princess Tony, doing his best to ignore the huge axe: how do you even know about them, weren't you snapped for the past 5 years?? Loki: I understand that they're not allowed to attend the party either and will not have any parents or guardians available to care for them at the time... Tony: you're not going to try any funny business right...? even if you wont hurt Morgan how do i know you wont lay a hand on the others?? I cant just trust you to watch over a bunch of kids no matter how much bruce and thor vouch for your sanity Loki: you can trust I wouldn't risk scarring Morgan like that if you don't trust i wouldn't intentionally attack a bunch of literal children Tony: hmm okay I guess I’ll just cross my fingers and hope you don't relapse into villainy Loki: wonderful. inform the children that I will pick them up 2 hours before the time of the party. Tony: need me to get you a ride? Peter lives close but Shuri lives just a tad bit out of walking range Loki: no thanks I'll be fine

---[at the party]---

Pepper: YOU LEFT HIM ALONE TO CARE FOR MORGAN?! Tony: he’s been doing a fine job of it while we’re around, and besides, it’s not like I left her with him alone or anything! Pepper: No, of course not Tony, that would be too simple, no, you left LOKI in charge of not JUST our child but also Peter, and the PRINCESS of Wakanda too Pepper: do you have any idea how badly this could work out?! putting aside the political disaster that would occur if something happened to Shuri the ethical considerations alone make strangling you very tempting right now Rhodey: Pepper, Tony would never do anything to put Morgan or Peter or even Shuri in danger... he knows they're kids, right Tony? Tony: Peter can benchpress a mag-lev and Shuri can design one in 60 seconds flat. I’m not concerned because they'll be fine even if he does try to pull off anything even 2% evil! Pepper: *not impressed* Tony: some sort of Asgardian binding magic was involved so he literally cant try to inflict any harm on Morgan, and that includes emotional distress just for the record, believe me, i checked Rhodey: what do you mean 'i checked', what did you do man Tony: Morgan wanted ice pops the other day so i told her to ask Loki Pepper: TONY he's a WAR CRIMINAL Tony: so anyways Morgan went up to the ally we’re kindly hosting - who literally takes residence on whichever couch is closest to Morgan by the way and it’s super funny to watch him move between couches every time she leaves the room - and he's reading when she asks if he'll get an ice pop with her Tony: and I've tried talking to him when he's reading and it does NOT end well Pepper: and you sent MORGAN to do it anyways?? Tony: and he said no at first, which was predictable, right? but then Morgan got sad and a bit teary-eyed and she asked again and when he saw she was sad he literally jolted in pain and he put the book aside and got up so fast to immediately lead her to the freezer to get some Rhodey: so, what? he physically cant say no to Morgan or some wacky voodoo thing compels him? Tony: That is the conclusion I have come to with my findings, yes. It seems he can’t intentionally do anything to hurt her in any way. So Morgan and her new friends are completely safe, sweetie. Pepper: I'm leaving to make sure she's doing okay... Tony: I also installed cameras just to make sure no one gets murdered without thorough evidence to convict him, if that helps? Pepper: If you can get the live feed to go to my phone I'll consider staying Tony: deal.

--meanwhile, in Tony's house--

[Peter Shuri Morgan and Loki are wrapped up in blankets and watching The Hobbit. Loki is doing some paperwork and Morgan is drinking orange juice while Peter and Shuri share some popcorn] Peter: so are we going to talk about how we're watching a movie with the person who attacked New York with an alien army a few years ago or not Shuri: he was not acting of his own volition so i thought we were excusing that Loki, looking up: you are literally the first person to have mentioned that Peter: but Mr. Stark said that-- Shuri: footage of the 2012 attack conclusively showed that his eye colour changed before and after he had been subdued the final time, which was a phenomenon associated only with being under the influence of the sceptre containing the mind stone Peter: he does magic though! it could be a trick or the cameras could've been too grainy to tell Shuri: They weren't. But the changes in his behaviour and speech patterns also indicate that he was being controlled or at least coerced to some extent. He's also sitting next to us doing paperwork and watching Bilbo sneak around a dragon. Loki: Congratulations, you are officially the only person from this planet for whom I can confidently vouch is not a- *covers Morgan’s ears* -complete imbecile. Shuri: Thank you. Peter: well, she is a genius Shuri: Yes I am, in fact I'm a genius that has the approval of Loki, which is even better, because I'm assuming he'll have some neat ideas on how to make a fool of T'Challa in my lab on camera more often Loki: I may have some experience in the making-a-fool-out-of-my-brother department Shuri: wonderful! we can brainstorm after the movie :) Peter: I don't have a brother to prank :( Loki: I can fix that Peter: ...what Shuri: yeah, what?? Loki: oh I meant that if you wanted I could legally become your godparent and then you'd have Harley and Morgan as prankable siblings Peter: you know what? I'm actually considering it Shuri: how angry do you think T'challa would be if I made Loki an official Wakandan by saying he's my godfather because I think that would get a hilarious reaction out of him Loki, nodding: According to Asgardian tradition claiming a godchild forms an irrevocable bond and he would have to accept that his sister has someone who pulls off legendary pranks keeping her safe from any attempts at his retaliation Peter: that’s so cool and i'm definitely accepting your offer Shuri: and I'm joining in because i have a folder filled with evidence that Loki was mostly innocent of the New York attack but some videos of us together pulling off harmless pranks would make fine contributions to it Loki: wonderful! Loki, holding out documents and a pen: just sign here, there, and there, Peter: wait you've been sitting next to us filling out godchild adoption forms this whole time??? Loki: well actually I started out filling out the godparent-removal forms because Thor is an irresponsible buffoon and i refuse to share custody with him Peter: do you think i could get ~*Thor*~ to adopt me- Loki: Nopity nope. Too late. You've already signed the forms so you're stuck with me, and I refuse to share any of my friends with him Peter: aww you called us your friends Loki: you have no proof i said that Shuri, pointing to the camera in the corner of the room: but that hackable camera does >:) [peter jumps over the sofa and is going to retrieve the camera for shuri to get the blackmail material when he gets hit by a pillow. shuri says 'hey that was not nice' as she hits loki with her pillow. peter throws the pillow he has at loki. morgan yells 'PILLOW FIGHT!!' before joining in, and by the time they settle down again all of them have missed the ending of the film and have to rewatch the last 20 minutes before drifting off to sleep together on the floor in a patchwork of all their blankets]

---[later at the party]---

Tony: sorry pal, I'm a certified genius and even I don't know how she managed to carry around and slip Morgan’s papers to you when that dress has no pockets and her purse is barely large enough to fit a small-to-medium-sized wrench Rhodey: it was probably the same way she switched your drink for Thor's godchild renouncement forms when you weren't looking Tony, whispering: I think she has CEO paperwork powers Rhodey whispering back: you're only noticing now?

[pepper and tony get home the next day]

Pepper: i still cant believe you left Loki near the kids Tony: and i still cant believe you didn't know how to check the live feed and decided to ignore me the entire night instead of bothering to ask. clearly deep down you trusted my judgement and the decision to leave the kids in Loki's capable, mischiefy, slightly-insane but apparently reformed hands.

[yelling is heard from the living room and Tony and Pepper run in to find Loki Peter Shuri and Morgan sitting around wrapped in blankets and playing Mario Kart and exclaiming their thoughts very vocally. when they are noticed all the kids freeze and stare at Tony. Loki mumbles something about telling Tony he lost the bet since he did in fact manage to keep everyone alive and at that point even Pepper is staring (glaring) at Tony.]

Tony, realising the kids have bonded™: oh no. what have i done.

#part 1 of my modern AU where tony has to deal with his batch of kinda-kids being monopolised by loki #the same loki who refuses to say he's ''reformed'' or ''better than he used to be'' because he's ''always been like this''#the thing is that he's not TELLING anyone about the mind control so everyone assumes the worst #he goes around doing harmless pranks and flambouyantly messing with people and is listed as their Number 1 enemy #despite never harming anyone in the avengers get called in to deal with him all the time but he's not even close to evil?#good luck to tony who has to explain that to people when they see him having a regular conversation with loki #he's not evil he just likes causing mischief and if you're not running away and screaming like crazy the things he does are actually funny #no one gets hurt or anything they're all harmless and he's only a criminal because it counts as 'terrorising civilians' to make trees dance #shuri peter and morgan end up bonding with loki 2 weeks after thanos is gone #before that tony was just kind of hanging around tony's house anyways because ''morgan is here''#spoiler alert: there is no magic binding him to the kids he just values the fact that someone would honour him with responsibility #why did thor ask for loki's name to also be put down? because he DIDNT WANT to be morgan's godfather #he was depressed and knew he was in no mental state to take on that role and didnt think he deserved it anyways #he asked for loki to be written down too because he thought tony would never do that and he would get out of it but that obvsly didnt work #i'm tagging this under: LokiAdoptsAU #LokiAdoptsAU #this is part 1 and I'll post part 2 tomorrow but there isnt going to be a storyline or anything its just everyone existing

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