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#you dont get over that sort of thing
p4nishers · 5 months
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one of the most important things terry pratchett has taught me is that it's okay to be angry. no one has ever said that to me before. he taught me that anger was an engine. that you can use that anger. that it goes hand in hand with love. he taught me to never underestimate my anger, because it's one of my strongest points. he taught me genuine anger was one of the world’s great creative forces. he taught me i shouldn't be fighting my anger, but what caused it. he himself said rage underlines everything he wrote. i never heard anger talked about so openly like that before and it's freeing, i suppose, to realize you are truly, truly not alone in your rage at the world. you never were.
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lucalicatteart · 2 months
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A few silly little small sculptures that I made with some of the leftover clay from the main one I did recently
#sculpture#birds#neopets#sparkly little aishas my beloved.....#Though I actually kind of liked them with a matte finish more?? I wanted to try out making them sparkly and shiny..but#I think they might have looked better before adding all the shine. BUT I kind of like both. Maybe I should make two more that aren't shiny#just to have variation lol... an entire army of tiny aishas.....#The little house is so bad lol I hada headache at that point and kind of just wanted to get everything over with#(I bake the clay all at once so I had to get the smaller ones done to go with the main one)#and was like.. zero effort into making things line up or measuring at all. one window on one side is like twice as big as on the other lol#but I think from afar ifnot examined too closely it's still kind of cute. The birds were also just random like 'what can I shape out of thi#s small blob of clay I have leftover' etc. I did actually put irridescent eyeshaow on the pigeon but it just doesnt show up in photos ToT#The other bird is not anything in specific... some sort of random fantasy creature bird with slight purple on it's wings or something#The strawberry is exclusively just a quickly done accessory for the birds.. I wanted them to have a little meal to share#even though I dont know if birds eat strawberries#the last picture in the set is them all sitting on a shelf (the most well lit place I could find) but looks weird#since it has all of my avocado pit eyes in the background......... ominous backdrop for such peaceful little creachures..#you kind of cant tell what they are from that angle though i guess lol
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lokh · 10 days
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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bunnieswithknives · 1 year
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As an avid D&D player and DM, I love this magic system you've created so much- bc it means that necromancy exists like it does in D&D, but because David is David (TM), he just goes "yeah, but yk what would make this better? Puppets." and just is flying by the seat of his pants trying to create a fusion of DIY crafts and reanimation. he even could be inadvertendly creating an entirely new form of magic while messing around with the Book and his puppetry, but no one will ever know bc he just wants to play around with his little flesh puppets instead of, idk, sitting down and writing an actual grimoire/codex on it and i love him so much for that <3
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Really tho!! This is the closest anyone has ever come come to actual reanimation in this universe, not just souless zombies or possessed lamps, real breathing creatures with the souls of people and working innards to back it up! And he's not even writing it down!
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prototypelq · 5 months
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The Most Unreliable Narrator I Have Ever Seen
soooooo I had a Cyberpunk-obsessed phase pass recently, and this time Johhny Silverhand's character caught my eye. His story, more specifically, and how... inconsistent he seems, depending on each source.
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In the game, Johhny acts like a bastard for most of the game. He panic-rages on his first meeting with V, throws many threats around, but is later beaten into the background with the blocker pills Misty gave to V. Even Johnny's friends' are well, they react Loudly to his return. Y'know, make it known his presence alone provokes a lot of anger from them.
Even during his first appearance, when V gets thrown into Silverhand's memories of his SAMURAI concert, the only real thing V recalls is the all-consuming rage that he felt, which he tried to shout out through the microphone, but it never felt like enough.
And doesn't this sound weird then, that the only thing Johnny does throughout the game after that first meeting is help V out? He learns about the Smasher guy hideout at the docks (he does that through dubious means but that's Johnny for you), he helps V out when the seizures become worse, he calmly agrees to Any decision V makes, despite V clearly Not being in any real state to oppose him in the finale of the game, he plans the whole thing with "Alt" so V can get his body back at Johnny's own expense, from the beginning, and he doubles down on that claim at the end of the game.
Do you see the dissonance? The egoist rockerboy that admitted to using his friends to getting what he wants, and the downright self-sacrificing hero and a friend that is Johnny at the end of the game? People change, sure, but this divide is very massive and too sudden, so I wanted to dig into that. And what I've stumbled upon, with the help of canon Cyberpunk materials like the Red sourcebook (or, more specifically, LayedBackGamers' reading of the canon books and his lore videos on different topics), is that
Johhny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2077 is the Most Unreliable Narrator I've Ever Seen.
Count with me here:
Johhny's personality in general. No matter what your interpretation of him his, it's impossible to ignore that Johhny is very much a people person and he exploits that knowledge and charisma to suit his own goals. If you choose to trust him, then you might have already been played.
2) Johhny has been alone, only his lovely self for 50+ years inside the Arasaka chip. Don't ask me how he is still even remotely sane, I haven't got a clue (hopefully the time as a construct without outside stimulation flies differently and he hasn't felt those 50 years in real time). The thing to mention here, however, is that, being alone with your thoughts and emotions for a long time, having nothing else for entertainment, is a great opportunity to rewrite your own memory of events or emotions you've felt.
3) Lack of a body. The aforementioned constant rage, that was the dominant emotion is Johnny's life (before Alt, at least, if Never Fade Away is anything to go by, and I mean, that's literally a love ballad), is a symptom of his PTSD from his too-young years serving in the corpo war, same as his signature silver hand. I'm not a specialist here, but I do know PTSD, especially for war veterans, is a physiological illness just as much as it is a mental one. Johnny's body literally had trouble living normally after that experience, and knowing this bastard - he never managed to treat that. Existing as a personality construct frees him from the many bonuses of being corporeal, but it also free him from the physiological side of PTSD. His day-to-day existence is fundamentally different from that of the Johnny Silverhand that the world knew 50 years ago, so yes, as a 'time traveler' or a source of information and comparison about the 70's and 20's of cyberpunk world Johhny is not a good source.
4) The chip with Johnny is literary inside the head of another person. The characters in game question, multiple times, just which decisions is V making on his own, and which of them might be Johnny's doing. Not consciously, no, but V and Johnny are clearly not your simple neighbours. They are not your 'close friends that start subconsciously copying each other' too. It is quite possible that the chip with Johhny is adapting to the 'hardware' it is running on, so it is specifically implementing parts of V's personality into Johnny, to minimize the 'friction' between the personality and the body it is supposed to inhabit. Everyone say hi to existential horror)
5) How does Soulkiller ever work? Is there data on how much the resulting engram actually resembles the person it tried to copy? How did the process of copying Johnny go? I can answer the last one - very badly.
Death of Johnny is told in excruciating detail in the Cyberpunk sourcebooks. Johnny died on the floor of Arasaka tower, torn in two by a shotgun blast from Smasher. There is no information on how much time it takes Soulkiller to create the engram from the brain, but it better have finished doing that before Johnny's brain started dying from a lack of blood and oxygen, and he clearly didn't have much time either, considering bisection is not the best for bodily fluid preservation, so it's a wonder the engram even works properly. Plus, during the initial heist to steal the chip with Johnny, the chip was damaged further before the idiots decided to stick an unknown harddrive into their heads to preserve it. Basically, it's nothing short of a miracle, that engram-Johnny is actually a whole damn person, that he can function, think and feel properly (well, as much as Johnny can do those things)
It is very sad that V can't talk to Johnny about this, as the man does blame himself over things he hasn't even done, and he had done enough emotional damage to himself and people around him without that kind of burden on top of it.
6) Johnny's memories are literally false. The attentive reader had to pick this up in my previous point - didn't Johnny die in the hands of Arasaka after they interrogated him? Nope. Nope, and I can say that confidently because,
(drumroll please)
Cyberpunk tabletop sourcebooks! Mike Pondsmith, the creator of the Cyberpunk universe and the TTRP series of games, has worked closely with CDPR writers during the production of the 2077. He oversaw everything, and he says that 2077 is in the same cyberpunk universe too, it's not an 'alternate reality' or anything.
Johnny Silverhand died while trying to buy time for his friends to escape, from a shotgun shot from Adam Smasher. That's it, he died on that floor, there was noone to interrogate, no rooftop helicopter he ran for.
The sequence of 'memories' we see from Johnny's POV in the game is a mishmash of two different assaults on the Arasaka towers, yes towers there were two of them. There is a great video explaining all the small and Major details Johnny's version of events got wrong, because we have the sourcebooks and the text inside. You may accuse me of holding a 'holy canon' argument ... and well, yeah, this is kind of holy knowledge, as it was written for gamemasters.
Still, some of the things in Johnny's version are Major, and while the media certainly covered the whole story extensively with corpo propaganda (oh, btw, Johnny didn't bomb anything, he probably didn't even know there was a nuke involved, he is literally just a scapegoat), there are some holes that a citizen of this world might know and wish to poke. The aforementioned Two Arasaka towers, or the absence of the legendary solo Morgan Blackhand from Johnny's story. Interestingly enough, there is a radiostation of Maximum Mike in-game, who is actually just pretty much Mike Pondsmith, and he does propose a couple of questions the 'official' version of the attack doesn't cover (like, where would a rockerboy even get a nuke, he might have been popular, but that's not just something you find without military contracts, and that means corporations). Another thing is that since Arasaka owns Soulkiller and has had the engram for a couple of decades, it is quite possible they are the ones responsible for messing with Johnny's memories.
So uh, yeah, Johnny is the Most Unrealible Narrator I have ever seen. Johnny of 2077 is most certainly not the Johnny of 2020's, but this might be a good thing. Maybe the 'real' 2020's Silverhand could never have made the progress the engram did, or become such a good friend and companion for V, or maybe he could have done those things too. We'll never know. I really love this story anyway.
#thanks for reading#johnny totally deserves a second chance at life after this why cant he and johnny show alt the finger and delta out of there#so v could live out his days and then johnny would take over#on the other hand johnny is a great example that being an engram is not the end so maybe v could come back in some sort of form later#after giving alt the finger#btw thats not alt either that's probably just an ai that caught little wind of actual alt and just calls itself her#also alt herself might be alive but that story is WEIRD so no idea#cyberpunk lore is great i had an amazing time listening to it and discovering new things#mike pondsmith is also amazing heard a cyberpunk red campaign he mastered and listening to him has been a blast he is a true storyteller#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk red#legends of night city#mike pondsmith#johnny silverhand#phantom liberty#this is the first and last time I praise cdpr after that back to hate for the ps4 version of the game i go#and for refusing to update the game for that platform and for not releasing the dlc for it and for upping the system reqs even higher#ill live to see actual 2077 before I get access to hardware that can run that shit#btw existential horror enjoyers I sure do hope you have heard of SOMA )))#oh i also dont think johnny was that bad in life either like he was bad but rogue and kerry are clearly happy to have him back so the game#must've shown just a very low time for him he had to be a good friend to earn that kind of loyalty still could behave like a bastard tho
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Sorry for not posting much depression is hittin me hard rn
I really wanna make the next part of the comic or some cute doodles or even just answer asks or talk to my moots and reblogg their super cool stuff but everything is so hard for me rn nd i am so very exhausted and thats so frustrating
I wanna have fun with all of you right now but i just cant >:( sanch
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rubrumacai · 12 days
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This site needs a better block system for tags
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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More updates on the whole job sitchuation this morning including a hurried whispered talk with a coworker while my boss was out for lunch and I am in some respects heartened and in other respects my worst fears about this have been validated
#the duality of fran#anyway it's like#coworker who has solid grasp and insider knowledge of situation#bc shes sort of a coworker but technically part of a different related org#anyway shes like. youd be perfect for it. asked a bunch of info about the position#passed said info on to me without prompting#suggested i get in contact with one of the ppl there who k already know#not the direct boss but another archivist i know already#without explicitly saying go for it she was like. well it's up to you. but then. gave me tons of advice#but she also basically confirmed my boss would be SOOOO pissy about it#like all the off vibes ive been picking up abt mt boss#i thought maybe they were one offs#but apparently she has quite a repuation at our office for being like that#and given convos and actions of ppl from other departments towards me lately#im uh. inclined to believe it#esp after last week's fiasco#but coworker wise sage was also like#dont not pursue an opportunity closer to what you want to be doing#just bc of the fear of this one thing#even when i expressed fear over shooting myself in the foot by earning my boss' professional emnity#she even volunteered as a reference (ive done some work with her) and just#i am going to throw UP#this is after my boss first thing this morning was like. lets get u business cards#im like. MAAM. she keeps making plans on the assumption im gonna be here forever#but better pay and opportunities elsewhere where i WANT to be#im going to. cry my eyes out#ive started skin picking in nervousness this is BAD#i guess i gotta. go email that other person to be like. hey can i drop by and can we chat sometime this week/next week#or barring that could we chat digitally but outside of normal hours when im in office bc boss is around#my ambition did this to me (but also shitty commute and cost of living ans my guilt complex)
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catboyfurina · 8 months
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focalette / neuvalors whatever the ship name is orz
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#beeep#gi#query#i am a trans guy furina truther and i think a lot of fanon neuvalors is really focused on a sort of. somewhat misogynistic (imo) stereotype#idk a lot of fanon seems to really like Big Strong Protector Man and Hysterical Little Emotional Woman#and thaaats not up my alley BUT I SHALL ELABORATE ON WHAT IS !#first of all. i think both of them have feelings and emotions and shit. when fanon is like here are fontaines crybabies that fanon is like#yea. you get it this time#i think furina is really invested in pretending to be who he thinks fontaine wants as an archon#and i think part of that is pretending to be a cis woman. and i think that is also why he's so dramatic and over the top in part#fontaine wants a spectacle so he gives them a spectacle but (as seen by the fountain) does hide the less entertaining side#(or the side that he can't bear to let become entertainment)#and i think he doesn't and or can't hide as much of that from neuvillette#i think when theyre both tired and alone furina can drop the exaggeration . and that. that specifically is soooooo#and tying into the trans headcanon i think nvl is the only one who knows#i still dont think furina has said everything but like. neuvillette being the only one past that first incredibly high wall. yeag#and neuvillette is imo one of those people that likes ppl that are annoying (cough cough just like me fr fr rn)#buuuuut ngl i havent thought as hard about neuvis end of it#...i dont think theyd be together currently in canon tho this is one of those slowburn bait things#also. i don't think furinas a kid pensive emoji. i know its popular on like half the fandom but nnnot my headcanon#i dont think hes acting childish in a child way i think hes acting childish in a clown way#.....hopefully this isnt my sinister!baizhu headcanon moment that ages soooo poorly ahdsjfjshsgh
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abby might genuinely be one of the most poorly written sympathetic/grey characters ive ever encountered im forever thinking about how they tried to make her some sort of parallel to joel, an actual well written sympathetic/grey character, and fucked it up so badly
#muscles dont make a character interesting lol#she fr did so many ugly things got all her friends killed relished in murder and torture of friends and foes#doesn’t show any remorse doesn’t show at all how years of dreaming of revenge#and then getting it fuck her up like she’s fine lol#her relationship with lev is rushed and it’s 2 days and they want you to believe she’s earned some sort of redemption through him#and beyond all that she’s so bland lol#the writing fucked her over too like she could a) not been the top soldier in her FASCIST militia#and b) they could have spent more time with her and built her an interesting arc that did work as a parallel to joel#if they’d just kept her story separate#neil’s issue was he wanted to do an abby story but he also wanted to make sure ppl who loved ellie and joel bought the game Lmao#so he lied and he tried to ham fist them into the same story and it was a mess#imagine if abby had encountered lev on her way to joel and helped him and through that realised she didn’t need revenge#it wasn’t gonna help#and it could have helped her understand joel’s choice#that could have broken that cycle of violence in a much more interesting way#rather than them completely breaking ellie and taking everything away from her and she still having to be the bigger person lol#abby continues the cycle of violence and is rewarded and redeemed through the narrative#and the person who actually breaks the cycle is the one who loses everything#make it make sense#the last of us spoilers
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dapperrokyuu · 7 months
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My feelings on VnC and PH being connected have fluctuated, but currently, Id be hype to have an allusion/reference to PH but Id dislike an establishment that every Mochijun series will then have to fit into the structure PH created.
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lucalicatteart · 2 months
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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mildmayfoxe · 8 months
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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nmzuka · 10 months
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I 100% get tumblrs need to grow their userbase to continue. Fully support that
But literally @staff any changes to the dashboard or adding an algorithm HAS to be able to be opt out or you will completely kill the use of this site by longtime users who have been VERY vocal about not wanting an algorithm
Tumblr's advantage over other sites is that you can control what content you see and taking that away from your users is downright stupid
I get new users arent use to that and can understand it benefiting them to have an algorithm to help get the hang of the site but again one should be able to opt out of it
That way long time users can continue to use Tumblr the way they enjoy it and if new users get the hang of things and want to turn off the algorithm they can
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where im taking the doctor for a date tbh
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thatstroubling · 1 year
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when your favorite character makes it to the finale
As a fellow Danganronpa fan, I'd like to imagine that if Pre-game Shuichi wasn't, you know, gone forever because he'd given up his life to become an anime character like a dumbass and could somehow witness our Shuichi kick So Much Ass in Trial 6, he would be the one cheering him on the loudest. After all, Shuichi is his perfect little detective guy and the person he once hoped he could become. That's why I can hear the "You tell them!" in his voice in my head so very clearly. And in spite of being responsible for ending Pre-game Shuichi's favorite TV show in the world, at the core of it, Shuichi was ultimately fighting on behalf of his friends for what was right all the way to the end.
And who wouldn't want to get behind that?
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