#you dont want to pay for netflix for whatever reason i can share where i watched it

[alchemiclee]

I watched the live action atla series and, looks like a very unpopular opinion in the sea of people whining and complaining about it, but I enjoyed it. I think they did a pretty good job with what they had and their limitations. the actors all did a good job and you can tell they enjoyed what they were doing and have a big respect for the show and their characters.

i'll let you in on the secret if how to enjoying something:

it's not setting high expectations or prejudging things. i'm a master of having low expectations and keeping an open mind so that I can enjoy things in life better. I went into this knowing for a fact that it would not match with the animated series. I knew there was no comparison at all. yes, there were some small bits I thought here and there that they shouldn't have cut out and could have fit if they tried,or things they could have done differently, which is natural to think when watching anything really, but I knew there's no point letting those overshadow the entire thing. if you care so much about little things, go produce your own series and make it perfect!

I went into it thinking of it as it's own thing. I asked myself is this enjoyable if I started watching without having seen the animation? without having the knowledge I do have? turns out it was enjoyable enough on its own. yes, seeing the animation helps fill in some of those gaps they skipped, and I understand why people are upset about things nit being added, but overall, it's a good stand alone if you dont sit and compare and nitpick the whole time.

if you don't go into it thinking "this is going to suck! i'm going to find every flaw! live actions always ruin things I love! I want it to match the animation 1:1! etc" then you'll be able to enjoy it. but if you insist on watching it with that mindset, then of course you will hate it. having an open mind and separating the two like I did makes it more enjoyable! I was pleasantly surprised by it.

I knew this mindset helped, because I did it with another series that had a remake. if you know eureka seven, you'll know that there are a few too many spinoffs. what us fans want is a proper remake and/or a continuation with the characters we know and love. instead we got several movies that retell the story in less appealing ways, the manga that has a few major differences, and a spin off series that's supposed to act as a sequel apparently, but it was kinda awful. because I loved eureka seven so much, I highly judged all these spinoffs and hated them all.

but when hi-evolution came out, I was really in the mood for new eureka seven. the first movie was mostly reused footage from the series. but they added some new stuff. I decided to start watching those as if they are their own stand-alone instead of trying to compare and fit them together. i think these spinoffs are supposed to be different universes that don't compare to the original, and I overly judged them because it's not what I wanted it expected as a kid. I watched hi-evolution with this more open mindset, and guess what? I enjoyed it! I thought it was actually a pretty good stand alone! if I never saw the anime series, I would have enjoyed these movies. I separated them in my mind and enjoyed them as their own thing! this is an extremely unpopular opinion and I haven't seen any eureka seven fans say they liked them. they got the sawn treatment as all the other releases. everyone just wants new content related to the original anime, so that's what they insist of judging by.

back to atla, it may also help that it's been several years since i've seen the animation. BUT it is one i've seen multiple times and have pretty good memory of it, I think, even if it's not so fresh in my mind anymore. I consider myself a pretty big fan as well. it's my second favorite series after fullmetal alchemist. nothing has compared to fullmetal alchemist for me, but atla is pretty damn close. you could say nothing has compared to atla either. solid second place and has never wavered. eureka seven being solidly 3rd. orphan black is 4th.....and I saw something about a new spinoff with all new different characters coming soon...so i'll have to try to apply this same technique to that as well.

conclusion: if you go into something being judgemental, nitpicky, comparing every little thing to something else, and overall having extremely high expectations, of course you're setting it up to fail you. you're basically purposely making yourself dislike it. you decided ahead of time you were going to hate it, so you do. if you have an open mind, low expectations, and let it be it's own thing separate from the original, it may not be your favorite thing ever, but you can at least get some enjoyment or entertainment out of it! appreciate it for what it is, rather than judge it for what it's not. this is for most things in life, not just a series on netflix.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 3

A/N - Thank you all for reading so far! This is more of a filler chapter just to move it along. More to come soon! Please like and share if your enjoying it 💕

When i came home with Frank yesterday i didn't expect him to stick around, but here i was waking up in a tangled naked mess with him...my body aching in the most amazing ways.

I stopped my alarm from going off so i didn't wake him and slipped out of bed to have a shower before Andy arrived to pick me up for work.

"Where are you going?" i heard Frank mumble as i pulled on clean underwear, i turned to look at him with a huge smile, the man truly was beautiful.

"I gotta go to work"

"Call in sick, stay in bed with me all day"

"As tempting as that offer is.... i cant, Andy is picking me up in 10 minutes"

"Oh.... i could have taken you"

"I didn't know you'd still be here" i said honestly.

"I can go if its a problem...."

"Its not, i'm glad you stayed" i smiled leaning over to kiss him, his hands gripped my hips and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling his waist.

"Frank! I dont have time for this..." i moaned feeling his hard length pressing against me as he kissed my neck.

"We can be quick...."

"Im gonna be late....." i laughed using all my will power to crawl off his lap, i was just at the end of the bed when he dived at me and we fell to the floor laughing.

"Call your boss and tell him you don't need a ride, i'll take you"

"I can't his probably already outside" i reached down and quickly kissed him again before getting up and rushing to my wardrobe, i pulled on a black polkadot dress and some black pumps before quickly tying my hair up.

When i came back into the bedroom Frank was still laying on my bedroom floor only wearing his tight black boxers that didnt hide anything.

"Well damn.... you make it so hard to leave"

"Im staying right here til you get back"

"I'll be back at 5:30" i knelt down and kissed him "you can stay if you like?"

I got up grabbing my purse and a jacket before making my escape. If i didn't leave now i'd be calling in sick!

As i thought, Andy was already parked outside waiting for me in his black Audi.....Im not sure how long he had been there but the engine wasn't running.

"Morning" i greeted him with a smile which he returned.

"Morning"

"Sorry to keep you waiting"

"its fine i was a little early anyway"

"Thanks again for coming to pick me up, i get my car back later today"

"They sorted that quick" he said as he started the car and began the drive to the office.

"Yeah something to do with a cracked cylinder head or something? I have no clue" i chuckled "i'm completely hopeless when it comes to cars"

"Me too!" He admitted smiling over at me. The rest of the journey was spent with idle chit chat just to fill the silence.

Frank: Ur music selection sucks BTW!

Frank texted me around 11am, i couldn't help but laugh quietly to myself.

Y/N: don't listen to it then lol 🤣

Frank: But im bored!

Y/N: Find something to watch on Netflix, its all signed in.

Frank: Just come home, you'll keep me busy 😜

Y/N: ....

My desk phone rang i looked at the display to see it was Andy calling.

"Hello" i answered on the second ring.

"Hey, could you come to my office real quick please?"

"Sure, i'm on my way" i got up grabbing my notebook and a pen incase he needed me to take some notes down.

"Come on in" he smiled as i reached his office door.

"What can i do for you?"

"I have to head up to Vermont, an old friend of mine called in a favour"

"Okay, what do you need?"

"I need you to come with me" he said looking at me with an apologetic grimace on his face.

"What?.... why?"

"Honestly? im gonna be swamped, i need you to be there to help keep my diary updated, grab me coffee and lunch.... i know it sounds boring as hell but i'll pay you double. I usually take Susan on these kinda things but as you know she's home sick with the flu"

Susan was the older woman who had been Andy's PA for years before i started working here, she was about to retire and i was her replacement.

"When?"

"Tomorrow, should be for a day, two at the most. I'll book a hotel and cover expenses"

"Sure, if you need me to...."

"It would be a huge help"

"Okay" i nodded but couldnt help but think it was strange that he wanted me to go with him.

"Thank you Y/N, i owe you! I'll pick you up at 7am i like to get on the road early"

"Sure, not a problem" i smiled and went back to my desk, missing the smug smile that quickly crossed Andy's face.

I left work a little early so i could go collect my car that was now fixed and headed home. I was surprised to walk in to the smell of cooking!

"Whats all this?" I asked Frank raising my eyebrows in question when i walked into the kitchen to find him at the stove wearing my apron.

"Oh hey! Your home!" He smiled turning to me and kissing me quickly "how was work?"

"Strange...... seems to be the theme of today"

"Sorry, is this weird? I just.... i was bored so i thought id cook you dinner" Frank said scratching his jaw looking a little nervous.

"Its not weird" i chuckled "more unexpected"

"Well see, its completely selfish on my part really...." he said sliding me a glass of white wine.

"How so?"

"Because i plan to keep you busy for the rest of the night soooo, its only fair i feed you first" he grinned making me roll my eyes at him.

"Okay Romeo" i shook my head laughing at him, he really was something! "How long til its ready?"

"10 minutes tops?"

"Great, i've just gotta go throw an overnight bag together real quick then i'm all yours" i pressed a quick kiss to Franks lips and headed to my bedroom.

As i packed a few change of clothes and toiletries i couldnt help but think about how easy it was having Frank here....Id only known him a day for christ sake!

"Y/N, foods ready" he called as i zipped up the bag.

"Okay i'll be right there".

Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs and it was honestly the best id had, it was his grandma's recipe apparently.

"So how come your packing an overnight bag?" Frank asked halfway through dinner.

"Oh, i've gotta go to Vermont with Andy for a day or two. He asked me to go with him this afternoon" i shrugged

"Isn't that a little odd?"

"I don't know, he said Susan used to go with him"

"Who's Susan?"

"His PA i'm replacing"

"The old chick?"

"Yeah"

"But he didn't have a thing for Susan"

"Frank don't start that again...."

"I bet his wife doesn't know his asked his sexy as hell PA to accompany him on his little business trip" he shook his head.

"You jealous?" I smirked trying to make a joke of it before it got to serious.

"What if i am?"

"I thought this was just fun?" I motioned between the two of us.

"So did i..... but i cant stop thinking about you...."

"You have no reason to be jealous, Andy is my boss nothing more. I like this with us, whatever it is...."

"So i can see you again when you get back from Vermont?"

"I think that can be arranged".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[sunflowerstache]

A Happy Man (Part 2)

A/N: Hello beauties! This is the sequel to my first ever angst piece “You’ll Be Okay” and I really love it! It’s loosely based off the song Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett! As always, if you enjoyed/have questions/comments/suggestions/all of the above, please let me know! I love hearing from y'all so much and I love you all to bits!

Word Count: 3.1k

Masterlist            Part 1

“Have a nice Saturday love.”

Your phone buzzed on the end table next to your spot on the couch, indicating another incoming message from Harry. And just like every other day, you left the message unanswered. For the past 4 days, like clockwork, he had sent you a text at exactly 8:15am, wishing you a good day, and another at 9:30pm reminding you that he loves you. After walking out of yours and Harry’s hotel’s room 4 days ago, you had immediately flown home and showed up a sobbing mess at your parent’s doorstep. Upon the door opening, you found your father raising a baseball bat and your mother hidden on the staircase, in fear of an intruder – as it was the early hours of the morning – a sight you would laugh at if it were any other circumstance. Once your parents realized it was just you, and that you were a wreck, they quickly ushered you inside and to the couch, so you could explain what was wrong. That was days ago, and here you were, still seated in the same spot, staring off into space while your parents watched from the entryway.

“She’s going to start growing into the couch if she doesn’t move Y/M/N.” your dad whispered, or at least whispered as much as a dad was capable.

There was a small thud, and you knew your mom had gently smacked your father’s chest, “He meant a lot to her. She just needs some time.”

“And she can hear you both.” You turned your head to look at the two of them huddled together. “I appreciate you letting me crash here, but you don’t have to dote over me. I’m a big girl. Go to the Christmas Tree Shop or whatever it is you retired folk do.” You tried to crack a smile, but you knew it looked more like grimace.

“Oh hunny, you don’t have to thank us. You’re our baby, of course you are always welcome here.” Your mom cooed as she scuttled across the room to sit next to you and run her fingers through your hair, “Everything’s going to work itself out. I promise.”

“My offer still stands monkey. You let me know where he is, and I’ll go have a nice little chat with Harold.” Your dad smiled, still standing at the entryway.

“No dad. The last thing I want is for you to talk to him right now. It would only make things worse. I mean, I didn’t break up with him. I just told him I needed time. So that’s what I’m doing. Taking some time.” You took a deep breath, talking more to yourself than to your parents now, “Not broken up.”

~~~

“She broke up with me, mum.” Harry’s groan was muffled by the thick white duvet as he laid face down on his hotel bed, still in yesterday’s clothes. “I’ve tried to talk to her every day, and there’s no reply.” Similarly to Y/N, Harry had spent the last 4 days in the same position; wallowing in self-pity and crying to his mother.

“She didn’t my dear. You told me what she said, and she just needs some time.” Anne was seated next to her son, running her hands through his short curls, “You have to understand where she’s coming from. The two of you have been strong for two years, this is just a small bump. Everyone goes through them.”

“Not us, mum. We don’t do this. We never fight, and we never walk away from each other. We’re best friends. Or, we were at least.”

“The two of you are two peas in a pod, don’t doubt that Harry. You have a very busy life, and I mean this with every ounce of love I have for you,” Harry turned his head to peak out from under the blanket to look at Anne, “but you do tend to put quite a lot on your plate. And you never were one for clearing your plate. You’ve been so focused on finding things to keep you busy during this time off, that you’ve put some things to the back burner. Some important things.”

It was like Harry was transported back in time, listening to the bustling streets below while everyone carried on with their lives. Like he wasn’t losing his mind 14 floors above their heads. He knew his mum was right. He always wanted to have a plan a, and a plan b, and plan c, but there was never a risk for that lifestyle before. Never the chance for his precisely planned life to cause such an uproar. But here he was, a weeping, snotty, mess because he planned for everything except his love leaving him.

“Let me ask you, Harry. All of the money, the designer clothes, the followers, notoriety, is it all what’s most important to you? Would you be the happiest with only that?”

His head was shaking before Anne could even finish her questions. There was no doubt in his mind that everything he has, everything his unprecedented luck has been able to provide him, meant nothing if he had no one to share it with. No one to come home to laugh about cute fan encounters with. Nothing without anyone to call up when the silence of empty hotel rooms becomes too much.  “Absolutely not.”

“Then in your heart, you know what to do.” She nodded and patted Harry’s back before getting up and disappearing through the front door.

~~~

“Alright, look munchkin. I love you, you know that. But the ass that’s supposed to be making a dent in the couch is mine. I didn’t retire for you to beat me to it.” Your dad plopped down on the couch next to you. “You have a bed upstairs for that.”

“Can’t dad. ‘ve got pictures of him up there. Don’t wanna look at them right now.” You paused, hearing your mother on the phone, for the 4thtime today, “Who she keep talking to?”

You heard him huff next to you, “Who knows. She’s always got something new to gossip about these days. This week, it’s been about Martha leaving the office to go to the company upstairs.”

You were thankful for your dad. While your mother was always the one to sit you down and talk some sense into you when something was going awry, your dad was the comedic relief you needed. He always knew how to take your mind off of the seriousness of life. Which Is exactly what you needed right now.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, ya know, because of the reason you’re here and all, but you smell kid. I don’t know how it works across the pond, but over here we have these things called showers. It’s real neat, you go in and wash you-“

“Oh my god, shut up dad. We have showers for fucks sake.” You laughed, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the soft murmur of Netflix and your soft breathing filled the air.

“Everything’s going to work out darling. Everyone goes through a rough patch, and it was about time the two of you had yours.” He stopped for a moment, “You know, your mother and I separated for a couple of months.”

Your head shot up at that and looked wide eyed at your father. For your entire life, you idolized your parent’s relationship and wished for nothing more than to achieve what they have. You never would have imagined that they went through any sort of issues. “No you didn’t! When?”

“You were about a year old. I was working double shifts every week while she stayed home with you. She wanted to be able to be there for you every day, watch you grow, and I would have loved nothing more, but someone had to pay for all the diapers you shit in.” you both chuckled, “Me not being home was too much for her and she told me she needed time. Sound familiar?”

“How’d you get past it?”

“I had been staying with your uncle for a couple months, and then woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and told myself I was an idiot for walking away so easily. So, I went back to the house, sat her down, told her how much I loved her and that I was working so hard so that the two of you could have the best lives possible. That’s all I want – the two of you to be happy and not worry about anything.”

The tears were starting to form in your eyes, thinking about how similar your situation is to what your parents went through. Not wanting to sit and cry in front of your dad, again, you patted his knee and stood up.

“About time I go shower, yeah? Wash this stink off.” you smiled and made your way to the staircase, leading to the second floor of your childhood home.

“I love you kiddo.” Your dad called after you, making some warmth spread through your relatively cold body.

In any other situation, you would be disgusted with yourself that this was your first shower in 4 days. But showering was the last thing on your mind recently. As you stood under the searing water, you thought over everything your father had said. Everything he spoke about, you knew is how Harry felt. He told you every chance he got that he loved providing for you, loved being able to make you smile. And it didn’t take much. You got so much joy just by watching in achieve the things he dreamed of and standing behind the scenes to see just how much the love of your life has achieved. But that wasn’t what caused your departure. You had watched Harry make room in his busy life for countless people, so why couldn’t he do that for someone he loved? You thought back to your trip to Italy and hung your head. In his own way, you realized, he did.  After canceling your museum tour, he had the two of your sit in bed all night and watch a Italian historical documentary. Brought you to the private hotel pool with a bottle of wine after not being able to go to the beach and left you a note the morning of your cancelled breakfast date. You realized these were all ways he showed you he cared and wasn’t trying to put work ahead of you. And here you were, standing in your parent’s shower, ignoring all his loving messages every day, just so you could justify your leaving. Quickly shutting off the water, you grabbed a towel and made a beeline to your old room, needing to get dressed and find your phone. You had apologizing to do.

You ran down the stairs, after throwing on some old black sweats and a white t-shirt, your hair still dripping from the shower and leaving a trail of water in your path. Getting to the space you were occupying on the couch, you noticed that your phone was no longer on the charger, “Mom! Where did you move my phone?”

No response.

“Seriously mom! I need to use my phone.”

Again, not response, just the sound of glasses clinking in the kitchen.

“I can hear you in the kitchen. If you’re ignoring me because you’re on the phone with someone from the office, talking about Martha again, I swear I’m gon-“ you choked on your sentence upon entering the kitchen, where you expected to find your mother.

The two of you stared at each other like deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do or say. A wine glass was gently set down, and the room was so silent that you could hear the silent ringing it made when making contact with the marble countertop. You could feel your breathing start to pick up when he licked his lips and whisper a soft “Hi.”

“He – wha – what are you – how did?”

“I called your mom earlier. Told her I wanted to come. See you.”

You nodded, biting the inside of your lip, not knowing how to get past the awkward tension in the air. You had never experienced this with Harry, this foggy unknown feeling. And you hated it.

“Why.”

“Why what?” lines formed on his forehead

“Why – why would you want to see me?

He continued to just stare at you, like you just asked him the meaning of life, with his mouth agape and hands on now resting on top of the counter. “Because I love you. And I’m not letting this be over. I’m not.” He shrugged, “I know you sai-“

“I’m sorry.” You exclaimed, interrupting whatever he was about to say, “I’m sorry for assuming you cared more about work. I’m sorry for blaming you for cancelling things. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

Before you knew what was happening, he had raced around the kitchen island and scooped you into his arms before your knees could buckled beneath you. Muffled gasps were coming from between your lips as Harry ran his hands over the back of your head.

“Shhh, hey none of that. It’s alright. You’re okay. I’m here.”

The two of you stayed locked in one another’s arms for what seemed like hours, making up for missing the feel of each other. Missing the way you could feel Harry’s heartbeat on your temple when hugging him. Him missing the feeling of your hands wound around his torso, toying with his back-belt loops. The two of you missing the comforting smell of the other. Slowly, once your crying subsided, Harry backed away slightly so that he could look at you.

“I think we have some stuff to talk about, yeah?” you nodded simultaneously and moved to sit down, facing each other, on the kitchen island stools. He gently picked up both your hands in his own, “Before you say anything, I need you to know I love you. I am so fucking in love with you that it makes my head spin. And when you walked out of that hotel room, I felt like I was drowning.” You moved to apologize again, but he quickly cut you off, “I don’t want to hear another apology out of you. Don’t ever apologize for your feelings. The hurt you’re feeling is yours to feel however you see fit.”

“I just, I don’t want you to think I’m asking you to choose, H. I would never. I know how much your career means to you, it means everything to me too. Watching you succeed and do what you love means the world to me.” You sniffled, trying make sure he understood that you support him in everything he does.

“But I would. I would choose. Because as much as I love the traveling and picking up new projects, and always being busy, I love you more. I love you more than all the sushi I could stomach in Japan. More than the packages Gucci sends me with new clothes. More than there are stars in the sky. So, I’mthe sorry one. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that, m‘love.” His eyes started to glaze over, accent getting thicker, as the threat of tears grew closer and closer.

“My career has given me more than I could ever ask for. This life I live gives me opportunities I never in a million years could have wished for. But absolutely none of it means anything if you’re not there to share it with me.” The smile that graced Harry’s face was brighter than anything you’ve ever seen on him. His dimples were prominent on his hair covered jaw, small crow’s feet loitered around the corners of his eyes, and his hands tightened in yours.

“But you should be able to do those things without worrying about me. About making sure I’m alright. You’re so young and so successful Harry! You shouldn’t have to worry about how I’m feeling 24/7. You should be able to do what you want, when you want it.  To be your own person.” You argued, knowing that this argument was slowly fleeting, as your love for the man in front of you was overpowering any doubts you had.

“I know who I am, doll. But I also know that I’m better with you. I’m better when I wake up to see your hair sprawled all over the bed. Better when I see you in that black dress that makes it hard for me to breathe. Better when you’re around. So, if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower again, or drive a new sports car, that’s okay.”  he shrugged, seeing your inner turmoil in your eyes, “Because if the only thing that I have in life is your hand in mine, then I could die a happy man.”

You took your hand out of his hold to brush away the tears that had made their way down your puffy cheeks. Guilt flooded through your veins for ever thinking that Harry loved you any less than how he described. So, you leaned forward to place a kiss to his lips, needing him to know you loved him just the same.

“I quite like the Eiffel tower.” You whispered once your lips disconnected from his, and a small chuckle left his lips,

“I know petal. I just want you to know that I don’t need a fancy destination because you’re my great escape. My sense of normalcy in this crazy life. You’re the one I want to repaint the living room while listening to Sinatra radio and dance around the fireplace with.”

You knew when starting this relationship that things would get difficult, what with being in the public eye and all the moving around. But you also knew that it was all worth it. It was worth it when you got to see Harry after walking off stage, after his morning jog, with his tongue sticking out between his lips while jotting things down in his journal. All the scrutiny was worth it when you got to slow dance in the kitchen or lounge all day with Evie. And no amount of rescheduling or cancellations would change that.

“Did you really just try to flex your Gucci deliveries to me?”

Taglist: @theasstour @emotionally-imbruised @harryspirate @swayingnoodlelove

[greenishbucket]

this is from that ask meme thing and no one asked me to do Ford/Lardo because I didn’t even reblog it but I’m here to create Fordo content and be indulgent so here we go

big spoon/little spoon: alternating! the occasional it’s-too-hot-get-the-fuck-off spoon.

favorite non-sexual activity: just getting to hang out and talk! kinda boring, but they’re always Doing so much and having to Be A Particular Kind of Person with the rest of the world, it’s really chill to just be able to hang out and be just themselves and share space while doing things. other than that, going to the park to feed the ducks.

who uses all the hot water: Ford!!! she really doesn’t mean to but somehow always does :/ 

most trivial thing they fight over: shoes being left where people!! walk!! like in front of the fucking front door!! at the bottom of the stairs!! there’s a shoe rack for a reason and why are there so many slippers everywhere there is no need for 6 pairs of house slippers for two people!!

who does most of the cleaning: Lardo, tbh. Ford’s standards for how long she can leave low-level clutter/dust/etc are different to Lardo’s bc once Lardo notices that kind of thing it irritates her til it’s cleaned

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: ok this is what they actually argue over most. Ford is a Theatre Kid (enough said) and Lardo likes some of that but sometimes she wants to get high and into her Angsty Art Kid Groove (which Ford can watch and appreciate but doesn’t enjoy) so they have separate accounts under the same payment, then they agree as and when to watch comedies/documentaries/more general stuff on either account bc they share taste there. it gets confusing because they watch series across their accounts so it’s always a struggle to figure out what ep they got up to

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: either of them can get their I’m the Manager Don’t Fuck Around voice on easy enough

who steals the blankets: Lardo. she likes to be cosy!

who leaves their stuff around: they’re both immensely guilty of this, though Ford doesn’t leave her shoes in the way of where people walk, Lardo

who remembers to buy the milk: Ford. Remembers that they’ve got a little bit left in the old container is another question, as is remembering to take the now-old-and-gross milk out of the fridge for recycling

who remembers anniversaries: they both do :) but Ford is more comfortable saying something embarrassing like ‘hey it’s our 16.5 month anniversary!’ totes casual over breakfast and while Lardo did notice that when she checked the calendar today, she was hardly gonna be unchill and say it

who cooks normally?: they share! Ford is the better cook in broad terms, but Lardo knows what the fuck she’s doing with a select few dishes and makes sure she can do lots to an adequate standard so Ford won’t get burnt out

how often do they fight?: not often for real, but neither of them are that good at like... Bringing Actual Stuff Up so little things build up and then blow up when it’s been a bad day, then it’s all aired out until it’s building up again and the cycle continues. they’re working on it!

what do they do when they’re away from each other?: use things like snapchat/generally send small pics and snippets - if they’re away from each other either one or both of them is probs busy so there’s not much time to videocall, and Lardo loves things like snapchat bc you dont have to words

nicknames for each other: other than Lardo being Lardo I don’t think they use nicknames really?? lots of ‘babe’ and ‘bro’ though.

who is more likely to pay for dinner?: they never shook the habit of splitting the bill along you pay for what you ate, but whoever is the most financially stable at that time will pay and get paid back at a later date

who steals the covers at night?: Lardo. she just likes!! to be cosy!!

what would they get each other for gifts?: small stuff that means a lot because of what it signifies (a special occasion, or remembering a specific detail, that kind of thing)

who kissed who first?: mmmmmm I’m pretty flexible on this and the next one but let’s say Ford kissed Lardo 

who made the first move?: Lardo, which is why she didn’t kiss Ford first because oh god what if Ford’s reading these Making A Move signs wrong and it’s just friends is this a date?? are we dating??? fuck.

who remembers things?: Ford remembers important things, Lardo remembers those too but less well and additionally remembers the most weird precise irrelevant things. she’s like ‘remember when u planted that strawberry plant on the 12th of April two years ago [or whenever u should plant these things] and it was drizzling slightly and now it’s finally growing fruit’ and Ford is like ‘the fuck’ but also ‘im gonna cry u remembered that? and cared? i love u and my strawberry plant’

who started the relationship?: it was a mutual agreement of dating after some grey-area time of both being like ‘uhhhh so are we a Thing or like are u seeing other people’ but not wanting to demand answers of each other

who cusses more?: hmmmmmmm Lardo generally, Ford when things are going wrong

what would they do if the other was hurt? im going to assume not seriously because that’s sad! Lardo (always): yikes lol u good? .... for real though let me get a bandage/a tissue/an icepack/whatever. Ford (for physical): woooow omg you really managed to do that. that was impressive. im so impressed im going to get you a bandage/an icepack/whatever without u even asking. Ford (for emotional): a hug and a shoulder to cry on

[funkymbtifiction]

Arohi: INFP. Sent further thoughts / explanations to the e-mail you submitted this through. (Since you did not answer me, I’m posting this so you will see it / be reminded to check your e-mail and to get it out of my inbox.)

Have a nice day. :)

Original post: Hi Charity, I filled this questionnaire from personality cafe. What do you think of it and infer from it? I know somethings are very stupid. Please dont mind it.

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type? That I am a paradox. Also, the confusion springs more from the MBTI stereotypes than the personality itself. 2) What do you yearn for in life? Why? The thing that i want most out of life is for my life to be extraordinary. I want my life to have meaning. I want to live it in a way that makes me happy. I believe that there is a blank canvas of life in front of me and i have to paint it beautifully. I want to create my life story as meaningful and unconventional. I yearn to live a life that contents my soul to its core. I want my story to engraved in the he I yearn for such a life but am unable to take any action to make it so. Just hope that one day I’ll be able to. 3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way. I am unable recall any such moment. 4) What makes you feel inferior? A lot of things (incidences) and people (especially the popular kids who get whatever they want because they have connections) make me feel inferior. People who are able to charm their way into this world, those who are really good at things that i want to be good at but am not makes me feel inferior and sends me on a self critical mood. I am very conscious about what others think of me and if their opinion is not favorable than i feel inferior. 5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.) Mostly I do what I want to do. But sometimes my mom really gets into my mind whilst making decision. She makes me believe that my decisions are immature and inadequate and that what she is saying is right. There’s something in her that compels my decisions to work on her whims and wishes. And if i am able to fight her compulsions then too there lingers a feeling of doubt in my head and i really hate it. In short, some people do intermingle with my decision making process by making me feel my decisions are stupid. And this irritates me a lot. Also my opinions bounces a lot based on external factors. 6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome? See I truly want to work on projects and make it the best I can but I procrastinate a lot and so my projects are always the last minute deal. This leaves me with very little emphasis on its creativity and material and leads me to focus more on the limited time frame. Thus the outcome is very different from what i imagine it to be (when we get the project). 7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?  I don’t really have a specific time as fun and boredom are part and parcel of life but yeah my time in 8th grade was the the most fun I ever had in my life. My memory of that time consists of the particular incidences that made that time epic (comically speaking). My friends and our group was the best thing that happened to me that year. Also, i made one true friend for life in the mentioned class so that year means a lot to me. 8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc) Well, I want to learn a lot of new things but as soon as I start them , I loose my interest and then leave them. It’s only under pressure that I am able to complete tasks or when I am VERY determined to do it. I don’t know about my approach to learning something new. Usually it’s a mix of many approaches. 9) How organized do you to think of yourself as? Well, I have heard I was very organized as a child but since I have grown up, I have become very lazy . Very few things remain organized in my life. 10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it? Well new ideas are interesting. It offers innovative ways of looking at things. But i experience difficulty in accepting new ideas that threaten to complex or change the way I look at things. e.g. I was quite interested when I got to know about MBTI It was fun. But then I came across cognitive functions and thought why are they making it so complicated, “I am not going to get any further into it”. But then I read more and more about it and realized that it was necessary to make it complex for better understanding. To summarize, my first reaction is “This is insane” but then I try to know more about it a deeper my understanding of it and then I am like “ Actually, It’s not that insane”. 11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself? Well the answer to this might be biased so I won’t answer this. 12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions? I always think before speaking. But sometimes i speak utter nonsense and then realize what i said and feel embarrassed about it.  One on one conversation- Always and Forever. 13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words? I would say i react impulsively on things but don’t really jump into actions. But when I do, I have to know exactly where to land. Well some of it also depends on situation. In my case, neither the action nor the words speak any better. I believe that every person has his own way to contribute but just blabbing about what you can contribute is not enough, you have to take action to give your words meaning. 14) It’s Saturday. You’re at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do? Well if they are my closest friends then i will be torn apart between the show and the night out. I think I’ll go for the night out because you know there’s always netflix. But it is not very easy for me to miss on the things i hold dear. 15) How do you act when you’re stressed out? I start to freak out if what’s happening around me is real or not. I’ll give you an example, I had to give my very first board examinations and i knew that my examination center was my school only but the moment i reached there i started freaking out that i have not confirmed it with anyone and what if i am wrong. I knew that it was my center but still harbored doubts against this knowledge for no reason. And that doubt prevailed until i was seated in the examination hall. 

Also i start to feel starved and want more food especially tasty food to get me going. I become very nervous and start experiencing shortness of breath. During my exams, i keep looking at the clock and start worrying if i’ll be able to complete my syllabus within the stipulated time but the time keeps flying off.  16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people? I dislike whosoever offends me no matter what personality type they have. 17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people? As long as I am with someone who has a special place in my heart and who I want to talk to incessantly , the topic of the conversation does not matter. And to those i dislike, i also dislike having any conversation with regardless of the topic. 18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life I don't like reading newspapers and listening to the news. My G.K. is very weak because i am not really interested in those stuff. I hate discussions about business and countries’ growth rates and census, share markets, etc. because i have no idea what these terms mean and don’t understand discussions about these topics. So my least interested area of attention is anything related to commerce. (19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ? My friends perceive me as kind, thoughtful, sweet, simple, loving but at the same time boring, too serious, melancholic and withdrawn. They are not wrong in their perceptions as I am like that infront of them but there’s a lot deeper and sometimes darker traits of my personality that I keep hidden from them. They would never say that I am sociable even for the sake of being social. 20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing? Well, I can spend the entire day just listening to music and creating fragments of stories in my mind relating to what has been going in my life mixed with what i want to happen in my life and the music gives it a background effect. Also it depends a lot on what I want to do at that particular time.