#you get weird clothes AND they teach you to hate your very existence and to deny yourself any happiness

[cyborg-hydra-girl-thing]

i feel like being raised in a genocidal death cult where you’re explicitly forbidden from interacting with anyone outside of your cult may have been detrimental to my ability to develop social skills

[mugentakeda]

azula and lu ten things because i am insane

-lu ten does that shit where he appears at azulas door randomly with a bowl of fruit. he cuts them and peels them himself (<-frequent kitchen invader). he kinda floats in and drops it off at her desk silently while maintaining intense eye contact with her like a weird ghost

-they do a lot of “parallel play” together. azula didnt go to the fire nation academy for girls until after lu ten died, so while she still was being taught within the palace, theyd do their work together in the palace library. shed do her studies, lu ten would pour over his scrolls. when lu ten does this stuff with zuko there’s always chit chatting, but when its azula they just do their thing in each others company and in silence. lu ten likes to bring blankets and pillows and tea so they can do it on the floor instead of slouching over the tables

-when bad summer storms roll around the three like to sleep in lu tens room because his bed is the biggest. azula likes to whisper menacing shit like “cousin when youre firelord i will usurp you and make you and zuzu my court jesters” when zuko falls asleep. and lu tens just like Okay💯

-whenever they see each other with snacks they like to make it a goal to snatch it and run off as fast as possible. one time lu ten snatched a mooncake right out of azulas mouth and hauled ass through the courtyard. ursa and iroh were playing pai sho together and he kicked the whole table over just to slow azula down

-azula spontaneously appears in lu tens room to annoy him when shes bored and cant find zuko or if zukos busy. she stands outside his door complaining until he lets her in and then she just wanders around his room and messes with his stuff and stands there menacingly. And rhen she just leaves and lu ten will call after her like “and stay out WEIRDO” and azula will respond like “YOURE BALD”

-when azula was a baby and lu ten was still looking after her for ursa, he eventually had to teach her how to eat on her own. everytime azula ate shed have to bathe cus shed get food Everywhere. face, clothes, hair. under her clothes. eyelashes. up her nose. it was disastrous

-lu ten was always someone azula knew would be there for her but. he was only her cousin. and lu ten taking care of azula while ursa suffered from her ppd is a secret that lu ten kept to the grave for the sake of ursas pride, so while lu ten loved azula a great deal and to a very intense level that mixed and complicated the love and older sibling has and a parent has (complicated because lu ten was only 15 at the time lol), azula never knew. and unless ursa tells her in the future then she never will

-itll always be one of the things azula hates her uncle most for. what she finds most disgraceful and pathetic about him. she’ll have to spend more years remembering lu ten than she did knowing him, and its all her uncle’s fault. and all they have are ink portraits and paintings. so eventually, his features, his human face, will slowly ebb from her mind. and the minds of everyone that ever knew him.

her father never talks about him, never talks about any of the phantoms in their family. they don’t do anything for his birthday. so she just lets herself in his room, and messes with his stuff to find proof of his existence.

its dusty. clean but untouched, like he’s just left for a long vacation and tidied up a bit before going out the door. the robe he last wore is still slung over his desk chair. his sandals are still kicked across the floor with one flipped on its side. the lounge chair on his balcony has marks on its seat and back from how much he sat on it.

but theres no humming to nonsensical tunes just to fill the silence (because azula used to swear he liked to hear the sound of his own voice). there’s no scrolls and papers stacked madly on his desk. the scent of spiced saffron tea doesnt linger in the air anymore. it’s not strangely lived in. it makes sense where the servants tidied some areas up, when lu ten never made sense in how he did anything. it’s not right.

it doesnt feel haunted, though- the dread she feels when she goes into mother’s room doesn’t exist in lu ten’s. the sunshine from the always open drapes warms her. the dips in the mattress from when the three of them would cram together, where she and zuko would crawl all over him and dig their elbows and knees into his lanky limbs, they call to her welcomingly. like the silence after the whisper, like he’s under the covers telling her to quit standing at the doorway like a weirdo and to just come in already. like if she pulled the blanket back he’d be there to listen when she’d tell him about the horrible dream she had.

its not dread. its warm feelings and nostalgia lingering, but slowly becoming infected by her own bitterness. a gentle reminder of something she’ll never get back. a question wondering what she did to the universe for it to take away the one person that always corrected her, but never while also judging her or scolding her simultaneously.

and as she looks at the knick knacks on the shelves, she knows that lu ten wasn’t meant for a soldiers death. it’s not just because he was a prince. it wasn’t just because it was down in the trenches, among filthy barbarians in a far off city. it was because she just knew lu ten was meant for the long and simple life, and then a simple death. in his sleep. leaving happy memories like the ones azula has, with tons of kids and grand babies that he loved to pieces and helped raise. by the beach at sunset. leaving an imprint everyone forever, a fond memory brought up at every turn. he didn’t deserve to just be known by a family and a palace that liked to suffocate everything within it.

when she takes ba sing se in her fist, she still knows that. and knows this is probably not even what he wanted, because her cousin was gentle and fair. but he’s also dead forever. he’s her gentle and fair, dead forever cousin. she’ll never stop thinking about how happy he would’ve been to be surpassed by her with lightning, because winning never mattered to him. he’ll never be older than twenty three.

so she will do what she wants in his memory rather than doing what he would’ve wanted. she will do everything shes wanted to do since she knew he was crushed out of existence like a dying star. she will find her uncle and make a wound in the shape of her bitterness, right in his chest, and twist the dagger until he howls like a dog. she’ll rip his arm off for his disgrace, for coming home with only a limb of her cousin’s, and no rage to show for. no want for anything.

[cyberphuck]

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part Three

Part One Part Two (My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposts about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn’t want to have to read the books, so I’m summarizing the trilogy for them starting with Assassin’s Apprentice!) When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, he was being stared at by a mysterious woman in the kitchens... - There's a woman staring at Fitz so hard that he can feel his clothes smoking. "This lady is creepy," he thinks as he puts a bucket on her head to keep her from seeing him steal 39 wheels of cheese. "Hello," says FItz.

"O_O" says the woman.

"...alright then," says Fitz, and leaves.

A few weeks later, while staggering drunkenly through a garden that features "seven varieties of thyme," which is five more varieties than I knew existed (regular thyme and hammer thyme), Fitz sees the woman again.

"Are you drunk?" she demands.

"Ayyyyyy lmao," Fitz replies, giving her double finger guns before stumbling back to the stables and falling asleep in a pile of horse manure.

Soon after that, Burrich comes back from the Probably Gay Stablemasters Convention (Ponycon 2023) and sees a very old horse in his stables. "Hey, I know that horse," he says. "Oh. Oh shit. Lady Patience is here."

The Fool's head pops out of a nearby hay bale. "The Lady Patience is Prince Chivalry's widow," he reminds us helpfully, then ducks back down.

"Oh good," Fitz mutters. "I have made a GREAT impression on her so far."

"It's fine, she's fucking weird anyway," Burrich says. "Go take a shower. You smell like teenaged boy."

But before Fitz can douse himself in Axe body spray, Patience accosts him in the hallway. "Do you know how to sing, play an instrument, speak French, write poetry, dance, or subjugate  minorities?" she asks.

"No," Fitz says, "that's for royalty."

"Surely you've been instructed to watch  Game of Thrones," Patience presses.

"No."

"Merlin?"

"Nah."

"The Princess Bride?" Patience asks desperately.

"Again," Fitz sighs, "I'm a bastard."

"I will be," Patience snarls, "RIGHT BACK."

Fitz takes a shower.

When he gets out, Chade is there. "Boy, m'boy!" he cries. "They're going to teach you the Skill!"

"I already know how to kill," Fitz protests.

"No, boy, SKILL. The innate Farseer royal magic that enables you to..." Chade checks his notes. "Well, by the end of the series it's easier to list the things the Skill CAN'T do-- but in this first trilogy it's mostly a Professor X type psychic ability that lets you telepathically talk to people in italics."

"Oh. Neat."

"Patience heard that you weren't getting a Prince's education and threw a bitch fit," Chade beams. "You'll start your Skill lessons next month. In the meantime you have to go and spend time with Patience so she can teach you Prince things."

"Like what it's like when doves cry?" Fitz asks.

"Stop dating yourself with old as fuck references," Chade snaps, and shoos him off.

Early the next morning Fitz reports to Patience's room, which is full of all her most recent ADHD hyperfixations, Lacy the servingwoman, and a dog with some puppies. "Hello!" Patience says. "I've decided to name you Tom. Here's a puppy."

Fitz loves the puppy and, with the Fool's random help, names him Smithy. He loves Smithy so much that he makes some macaroni art of him and brings it proudly back to Patience.

Patience hugs him, screams, then runs into her room and slams the door.

"She gets like that," Lacy explains, not looking up from her knitting.

Fitz has a great couple of weeks spending time with Smithy, Patience, and Molly, who he still has a giant crush on. Burrich notices that he hasn't yelled at Fitz for being witted in a while and calls him up to his apartment."Listen, Lil Accident," Burrich says, "Galen, the Skillmaster, loved your father and absolutely hates you."

"So, a Severus Snape situation," Fitz says.

"Yes. But he is not going to secretly keep you safe. If he finds out you talk to animals he's going to kill you. And I'll let him do it, because I don't want you to talk to animals either."

"Okay," says Fitz, who is right at this moment talking to his dog Smithy.

"Chade and I are not allowed to talk to you while you're being trained in Skilling. So no matter what awful thing Galen does to you, you just have to take it. Be careful, Lil Accident."

"Whatever," Fitz scoffs. "How bad can it be?"

"There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class," Galen says imperiously as he strides onto the tower top where he's holding Skill lessons. "I am going to teach you THE SKILL, which is super badass and sick and so amazing. Only the most favorite-- er, most talented students will be able to learn it. You! What's your name?"

"Fitz," Fitz replies.

"One thousand points from Gryffindor! Now everyone strip naked and start doing push-ups until I tell you you can stop!"

Fitz is still doing pushups a few weeks later when Galen walks up and kicks him in the ribs. "You've been stealing food when I explicitly ordered you to do a juice cleanse!"

"That food was for my dog--"

"Silence! Get out of my sight and don't let me catch you cheating on your diet again!"

That night, the Fool comes to Fitz's room with a bowl of dog food. "I'll feed and walk your dog for you," he says, "but I'm not putting a bag on my hand and picking up his business. That's YOUR business. Also, you should stop going to Skill lessons. You might die."

"I'm not gonna die, it's fine," Fitz says, drinking his juice.

Despite all odds, Fitz does sort of start to learn the Skill. In fact he gets pretty good at the basics, much to Galen's disgust. Then Galen tells the class that he's going to touch each of them with a little bit of true Skill, to show them how awesome it is."But don't lean into it," Galen warns, "or your mind will get sucked out of your body Byford Dolphin style."

He touches Fitz with the Skill.

"Stop leaning into it!" Galen snaps, repeatedly punching Fitz in the face.

"Ow! I'm not, I swear!"

"You totally are, you're the absolute worst and you don't deserve to know how to Skill!"

"I'm the absolute worst and I don't deserve to know how to Skill," Fitz says, without any prompting from anyone.

"You're bad at the Skill, you'll always be bad at the Skill, and you should kill yourself!"

"I'm bad at the Skill, I'll always be bad at the Skill, and I should kill myself," Fitz decides, all on his own.

"Class dismissed," Galen says, dusting off his hands. "Everyone spit on Fitz on the way out."

Having independently decided to unalive himself, Fitz slowly crawls to the edge of the very high tower and prepares to launch himself off of it into the sweet embrace of death, which he totally deserves because he's a bastard and no one likes him. But then Smithy reaches for him through their Wit-bond and says "Nooooo don't kill yourself you're so hott haha."

With the power of love from, honestly, the greatest dog of all time, Fitz decides not to commit breathn't.

When he next wakes up, he's in bed, and Burrich is sitting next to him. "I wrapped you in bandages," Burrich says soothingly. "Go back to sleep."

Fitz spends the next few weeks slowly recovering from being curbstomped by Galen. He sweeps out the stables, feeds horses, endures angry glares from Burrich because he had a secret wit-bond puppy, and thinks all about how he's bad at the Skill and will always be bad at the Skill.

"Alright, Lil Accident," Burrich says after a while, "it's time to go back to your Skill lessons."

"But I've missed too many classes," Fitz protests.

"There haven't been any classes. Go back to your lessons."

"Why not?"

"Haven't you heard?" The Fool says, popping out of a hay bale again. "Burrich beat the absolute shit out of Galen at the Witness Stones. He said, 'Gods, if I win this very one-sided fight, then Galen sucks,' and then just jumped up and down on that skinny motherfucker until he stopped moving." "Oh," Fitz says dumbly. The Fool retreats into the hay once more.

Later, on a beach date, Molly says, "Have you heard Prince Verity is going to get married?"

"Since when?" Fitz boggles.

"Oh, I know all the hot goss," Molly laughs. "Yeah, he agreed to get political-married to some foreign lady, but he's got no time to go looking for one, so Prince Regal is going to find one for him."

"Huh," Fitz says, then, "Miss Molly, I sure think you're just the swellest girl I ever did meet."

"How swell?" Molly asks.

But before Fitz can say "really really swell, the bee's knees," Smithy comes charging up to them to tell Fitz it's time to go back to the castle and start his Skill lessons again.

Fitz goes to the tower-top classroom along with the other students, all of whom pretty much hate him for being bad at the Skill and because his adopted dad beat up their teacher. Galen limps in. "I have an announcement," he says. "First of all, Jaydee mixed up the order of events just now: Fitz's first lesson back took place before he found out that Verity was going to be married. Second, Molly is hanging out with a handsome sailor named Jade. And thirdly, your training is almost complete. I will send you all on one final test-- even you, bastard that I hate and that I hope dies-- and then present you as a Skill Coterie to the King on Fantasy Easter."

"Murmur, murmur," all the students murmur.

"I'm going to send each of you to a faraway place," Galen goes on. "And then I will Skill a message of how to come home."

"That sounds fun, I bet nothing bad'll happen to me," Fitz says.

Galen smiles. "Do you think I don't know that you and Burrich are fucking? Because I do. And you won't be able to use him for Skill strength on this test."

"I don't understand any of the words that just came out of your mouth," Fitz smiles back.

(There's an aside here about Fitz undergoing his Man Ceremony, a strange and ancient Bar mitzvah where dudes in masks come to his room in the dead of night and bestow upon him a new Man Name. The Man Ceremony is literally never mentioned ever again in the entire series, but Fitz's Man Name is-- Changer.)

Fitz is blindfolded, put in his Test Carriage, and taken to the faraway place where he'll wait for his Skill message. The Test Carriage pulls to the side of the road, throws Fitz out, then screeches off. Fitz stands up and takes off his blindfold. Hey, this place looks kind of famil-- oh, it's Forge, where all the zombies live.

Neat.

Fitz sits down to prepare himself to receive his Skill message.Then he falls asleep.

Burrich is being attacked! Someone pushes him down the stairs! Smithy comes to the rescue, biting the attacker's leg!! But then--

["I MUST GO, MY PLANET NEEDS ME," SMITHY SAID AS HE SHOT INTO THE SKY. "I AM A GOOD DOG AND I HAVE EARNED MY TIME CHASING SPACE SQUIRRELS ON MY HOMEWORLD. FAREWELL!]

Fitz bolts upright. He's got to get home to help Burrich! Smithy's fine, he flew away before anyone could hurt him. But Burrich! He starts on the road home. Fuck the Skill message, he probably couldn't hear it anyway because he's bad at the Skill and always will be. But he's NOT bad at helping Burrich and writing a letter to Smithy who, again, went back to his home planet and is safe and sound.

He fights his way back through groups of zombies at Forge (and sees Vikings still hanging out in the ruins of the town) and hurries back toward Buckkeep.

Burrich is still alive, convalescing in the hospital with a wicked bump on the head. "I'm not dead," Fitz tells him. "I came back to help you."

"Smithy went back to his home planet," Burrich says.

"I know. He contacted me via our awesome wit-bond to say he was fine and nothing bad had happened to him."

"I can't believe you were talking to your dog instead of listening for your Skill message!"

"I wasn't going to hear a Skill message," Fitz explains. "I'm bad at the Skill. But I'm good at talking to animals."

"That's gross," Burrich says. "Never talk to me, ever again."

"This is the worst day of my life," Fitz moans.

"It's the worst day of your life SO FAR," The Fool clarifies from his hay bale.

[candied-boys]

Long Hot Summer

Luke Randolph x fem! Reader

Part one

Themes: small town country life, cowboys & ranching, childhood friends to lovers, separation and reunion, modern AU

Warnings: Mentions of car accidents, death, childhood neglect, and smoking. This story follows the themes of Luke's route. If you haven't read it this could spoil it and or be very upsetting.

From Luke's POV

You were a problem child.

Your mother hated you. You never knew why. You stopped wondering by the time you had to start stealing bread from the store and eggs from the farm down the road to feed yourself at six years old.

After your mom remarried and moved to that small town you were left to fend for yourself. She didn't make your servings at meals anymore. She didn't wash your clothes or buy you new shoes when you grew out of them. She had always avoided you, but after your sister was born that year she acted like you didn't exist at all.

So it was weird to you that the girl next door kept pestering you to talk every morning. You hadn't talked much to anyone before. What was even stranger was that after a few weeks of you ignoring her entirely, she started shoving brown bags in your backpack before she'd hop on the bus.

Every day you'd open the crinkled paper and find the same thing — an apple and a peanut butter honey sandwich.

Years later you would find out that this was the only food she knew how to make and could whip up without anyone noticing ingredients were going missing.

Yet despite her kindness you didn't become friends right away.

Only after your baby sister took a liking to you did your heart start to soften. Leyla gave you something you didn't even know existed — unconditional love — no judgement, no pity, just pure affection.

The way she crawled to you without coaxing, the hugs she gave back when you picked her up, your name mispronounced in her sweet baby voice. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes. She became your everything in one short year.

You started working harder in class so you could read books to her. You spent all your time after school playing with her in the yard. When her first birthday rolled around you wanted to get Leyla a gift. Something you didn't have to steal. You couldn't figure out how you were going to do this until they started teaching you sewing in school.

What they were teaching you wasn't enough to make what you wanted though. That's how you found yourself grabbing the sleeve of that girl's jacket as she got off the bus one day. She had shown off a doll she had sewn at show-and-tell that month, so you knew she could help.

When you finally worked up the courage to explain what you wanted she promptly dragged you inside. Sitting you down on the floor of her room she pulled out a treasure trove of craft supplies from under her bed. A teddy bear was beyond your skill level with such a short deadline, so she suggested finger puppets instead.

She was patient and kind. She taught you how to sew little faces so there wouldn't be any buttons to choke on. You made a sleepy bear, a grumpy bear, a happy bear, a winking bear, and a bear with one yellow paw and a honey pot attached to the other. She was right that your one year old sister would adore them.

That was how you started spending most of your afternoons with her and Leyla. At least until you got kicked out of high school in first year and started working full-time.

She was the only one who ever cared enough about you to get mad about that — or anything else. Only she chewed you out for stealing stuff when there wasn't enough at home instead of just asking her.

You still remember that hot summer day she pitched a hissy fit with a tail on it when you were fourteen or fifteen. You and her were sitting by the watering hole under the shade of a tall pine when you took out a tin of tobacco to roll. You'd started smoking at work on breaks. The adults didn't give a shit. Hell, they were the ones giving you the cigarettes.

As soon as she realized what you were doing she snatched your tin, dumped the whole damn thing in the water, then drop-kicked the empty metal box halfway into the lake. If she weren't so much smaller, you bet she would've throttled you too from the look in her eyes when she turned round.

You acted mad that she'd wasted good money and threw her over your shoulder when you got tired of her screeching about wrecking your health and your future. Holding her out over the edge of the dock you threatened to drop her in the water if she didn't say sorry. It was really just an excuse to go swimming with her though because as soon as she relented you canon balled off the pier with her in your arms anyway.

“Luke!!!! I'm wearing a white dress!!!” she shrieked when you finally let her come up for air.

“Mmm, that sundress looks real nice on y’ too, sugar.”

You couldn't help but eye the neon coloured bra beneath the now see-through material.

“You creep!!! Quit looking!!” she squealed and tried to tackle you in the water.

In the end she clung to your back like a turtle shell so you couldn't see anything while you swam out to the floating dock.

That was the summer you decided you'd ask her out after you got a better job. A truck and more independence. When you became a real man. That's when you'd ask her to stay with you forever.

And maybe you would've lived happily ever after if it weren't for that horrific car accident.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

A thousand memories wash through you in that split second. The next thing you know the pot of coffee has crashed to the floor and tears are spilling down her round cheeks. Shattered lay both the glass and her heart at your feet.

Over her shoulder you catch sight of every other man in the room jumping from their seats to fix you with a look like you just shot their prize horse.

A hand reaches out. You wince in anticipation of what you know you deserve. There is no sting to her touch though. No bite of palm on your cheek. Only the warmth of her fingertips caressing your smooth-shaven skin for a moment before she collapses into you wailing.

Her frame is limp as you pick her up in one arm like a cabbage patch doll to keep her from sinking into the glass. Cradling her against your chest, you tuck her head into your shoulder. The only strength she has is in her hands where she fists your pearl-snap shirt and sobs your name.

Every eye in the room is on you as you wordlessly carry her from the dining hall up to your bedroom. It's a long while sitting there on the bed holding her tight before she settles down enough to talk.

“They… they told me… told me you were… you were dead, Luke. What… what happened?” she eventually finds the strength to ask through ragged breaths and more tears.

You don't wipe them away. You don't have any right to comfort her when you're the cause of her agony.

“Pert’ near did,” you begin to recount slowly. “Collapsed lung, broken ribs, fractured femur, and a concussion bad ‘nough to cause swelling in the brain. Was in a coma a couple a weeks at a hospital across the state line.”

Her glossy eyes search yours anxiously as if she might find some visible injury she could tend to herself.

“By the time I got outta rehab it’d been six months or sommin’. I didn't have no insurance or nothin’, so the guy who rescued me paid all my bills. Turns out I was never registered as my mother's child. Couldn't claim the inheritance to pay ‘em off either, so I stayed to work on his ranch until last week…”

The question you knew she would ask, the question you've been asking yourself for years falls from her lips next.

“Why didn't you ever come back? Why didn't you call me? I don't understand…”

Hanging your head you avoid her gaze as you try to answer.

“I reckoned y'd hate me… for leavin’ y’ like that… Tellin' y’ I wanted to get hitched one day then dead the next…”

She gently tugs you up by the chin to face her when you explain, “I didn't wanna hurt y’ again, sugar. Y’ know I'm nothin’ but trouble. Reckoned y’d be better off with somebody else… With a man who could look after y’…”

“What are you talkin’ ‘bout, Luke? I never wanted nobody but you…”

Try as you might you can't stop the tears when you finally choke out, “Naw. Y’ always deserved better. Not a useless nobody like me… not some good-for-nothin' who can't even protect his own sister…”

This time she holds you tight, pulling you into the crook of her neck and wrapping her little arms over your broad shoulders. The grip you have on her back is vicious as hot tears soak her collar and years of pent-up anger shake your body.

“Luke, you ain't never done nothin’ wrong. I know you were treated like you were worthless by your parents, but that don't make it true. You were a wonderful brother and my best friend. No matter what happened, it ain't your fault…”

“But she died in my arms! I couldn't do nothin’ for her!” you cry, voice cracking with emotion.

“You did the thing that mattered most to her — you loved her right to the very end. She wouldn't blame you for nothin’, Luke. You know how much Leyla loved you.”

Her fingers thread through your long hair over and over while you sob uncontrollably, petting you with the most tender of concern. She was always good to you. Too good for you.

“It just hurts too much… I don't wanna go on no more… I don't know why I had to live and she had to die… I can't take the guilt… I can't keep goin’ like this… I got nothin’ to live for without you ‘n her…”

“Luke,” she whispers, hugging you tighter. “I'm right here. You ain't alone no more.”

“I can't… Y’ belong with somebody who's good for y’, not a broken shadow of a man walkin’ ‘round dead inside…”

Even as you say this, your body betrays your true desires and clings fiercely to her small form.

“I won't let you take yourself from me twice, Luke,” she pulls back to make you look her in the eye and answers sternly. “I chose to make friends with you when we were kids and I'll be the one who chooses what's right for me now too. So unless you don't want me no more, I'm not lettin’ you go no matter how low you think of yourself.”

Shoulders shaking with every strained inhale you bury your face in her neck again, a mix of self-hatred and relief drawing out unbridled tears.

“M’sry, m’sry sugar,” you slur through hitched breaths. “M’sry I'm no good, but please… Please don't let go o’ me…”

As hard as you worked to forget the tenderness from that night five years ago, every touch, every sensation, every emotion comes rushing back with a single kiss as if each fibre of your being has been holding onto the visceral memory of her lips against yours this whole time.

As slow and gentle as dawn's first light, she soothes the heartache that has wracked your muscles with tension for so long. You let yourself give in to all those years you've yearned for her, bound to worship her like the moon exists to revere the sun. Each kiss a promise to devote your life to her love.

[kangamommynow]

It's been a day

Nothing major. Just small accumulating annoyances. Being tired and too warm (it got to nearly 80 degrees today, which is insane). Trying to channel the wildness of 10 year olds.

at one point I put my head down on my table and my group was concerned. "I don't feel like you are hearing anything I'm trying to teach" "I'm listening to you" "But you are also watching X and talking to your neighbor and spinning on the stool, so if you are listening it is with the 'yes I hear you' and not with the 'I'm trying to understand you'".

I have a new kiddo in my reading group. His reading is very, very low, but not because of disability. He is a refugee, an immigrant. His reading is low because he just doesn't know much English yet. My other students have the benefit that they know English letter sounds and he doesn't. His brain has to work a lot harder. He'll get there, but it's so freaking hard for him. He has ESL services, but that's not nearly enough.

We have another student who is moving away at the end of the week and I have to admit I'm glad. The class will be so much calmer without her drama. So much drama. She spends most of her time flitting from one person to another spreading rumors and stirring up trouble and provoking other people and frankly it's on everyone's last nerve. When my student M gets in a fight, it's almost always involving this girl either directly or indirectly. She is also the primary bully of one of my other students. So. I'm glad she will be gone.

After school I took J over to REI to try to find travel clothes for the cruise. We found some pants, shirts, and socks for him, and a few shirts for me. Alas, despite all my hunting, not a damn pair of pants in my size anywhere in the store. Yes, I'm short. That doesn't mean I'm tiny. They had petite sizes 0-8 and regular sizes (much too long) 10-16, but not a 14 or 16 petite to be found. So I had to order on Amazon and pray that something fits. I fucking hate clothes shopping. It's the most dispiriting activity. Especially when you know precisely what it is you need and it just doesn't seem to exist.

They are moving our school to a late start, mostly due to bus issues. We are nearly 7 weeks into school and we still have busses running 1-2 hours behind because they just can't get enough drivers. Many of the drivers were retirees and they all left with Covid. It's a sucky job with weird ass hours and rambunctious, often disrespectful kids and I wouldn't want to do it either. So they are shifting our start/end time to try to accommodate that. God knows what they are going to do as more and more teachers leave. Squish more kids in a classroom and pretend more testing will solve the problem, I assume.

I'm cranky, obviously. I am too warm, too sore, and I miss my ... whatever he is. My guy. The person I'm attached to. It's just . sigh.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

🌟 10 Characthers, 10 Fandons, 10 Tags 🌟

I was tagged by @ven10 (thank you soo much for the tag it was rly fun) and spended a long time questioning if I should do the challenge a second time, because tecnically I had already done. But I found really fun the first time, so I decided let's go.

But beforehand I stabelished ONE rule:

No repeat characthers, even if it is different iterations of the charachter (yes this rule exists so I won't reuse Ed, sue me).

Just like the first time the characthers and fandons are in non particular order.

1. Carter Kane - The Kane Chronicles

I though a lot if I would bar all Riordanverse characthers from this second play or not, but I just coudn't. I'm already banning Ed. I can't do both. So only MCAGA is baned.

Now there are a lot of Riordaverse characthers I though about using: Percy, Thalia, Meg, Apolo, Leo, ma boi Frank but in the end I choose Carter. He is baby who deserves more atention from the fandom (the whole Kane's Chronicles deserve it).

The first time I read the books I will admit child me was very neutral towards Carter, I vastly pefered Sadie as she was the cool kid I wanted to be. But the second time I read I saw myself in that weird kid with a lot of book smart and no social skill who liked order and wanted to do the right thing and as an older brother myself I started to get his annoyance with Sadie as my own brother got closer to her in age. In sumary Carter is baby and a great characther and I love him very much. This boy is my son and if you hurt him I'll hunt you for sport.

2. Toph - Avatar The Last Airbender

The only reason AITA wasn't on the first list was because I could not for the life of me choose what characther to put. This show has too much great ones. But I mean look at this little hellion. She is great! She is strong and funny and complex and I love her soo much. She deserves everyting.

3. Oswald Cooblepot - Gotham

The only show where Ed Nygma exist, is a proeminent characther and is not my fave by far. Instead we have this awesome gay murderer and his amazing fashion sense and his knifes, he is babygirl material and you know it!

Also he is the characther with more potential for emotional development bar Bruce and that is a huuge plus for me.

4. Edward Teach, Captain Blackbeard - Our Flag Means Death

Well I had to put an Ed.

It was really hard to choose one favorite characther from this show and I was very close to putting both Lucius and Oluwande (or even Stede himself). But after a long delibaration, I choose Ed. His arc is just very interesting for me and I love the way he speaks. Also I love his clothing style.

5. Seu Edson - Irmão do Jorel

Edson is from one of the best brazilian cartoons ever. Irmão do Jorel captures the feeling of being a brazilian kid in the 90's/early 00's while still being relatable to it's audience of modern kids and Edson himself is great. First he is a dilf. Second he is a jornalist. Third he is very funny. Between his hate for the elites, his dedication and love for his family, his love for rock and the amazing sentence "son when I was your age I was eight years old" this man is everything for me. He is the type of weird brazilian dad I hope to be if I ever have kids.

6. Aziraphale - Good Omens

It was really hard to choose between him and Crowley, but between his fantasticly weird vocabulary, his love for books and his very relatable family issues I just had to pick the angel this time. I love both soo much though.

Azi is baby, Azi is life.

7. Yuu Kashima - Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun

I almost choose Mikoshiba, but this girl is too much my queen. She is gender non-conforming, canonically atracted for both man and woman and a theather nerd. She is also a bit of a troublemaker, a huge flirt and always late. I love her soo much.

8. Magali - Turma da Mônica

As any brazilian I love Turma da Mônica and Magali is just great, she is always hungry but she is also a cat person, a great friend, a lil sarcastic baby and her aunt is a witch (and as a teen so is her). She is the best.

9. Vó - Historietas Assombradas Para Crianças Mal-Criadas

I regreted a lot not putting her in the first list and I'm not one for making the same mistake twice. Tecnically she doesn't have a name since Vó is just grandma in portuguese and she is the protagonist grandma. Anyway she is great. Her whole cartoon is a great child cartoon with a lot of gothic and horror elements. Vó is a very badass old woman and a very powerfull witch, she has a lot of cats who help her with her potion making, is extremely sarcastic (more than Oswald) and a tad mean but she cares for her grandson a lot even if she doesn't always shows it. She is the older sister of Death and she is the ex-girlfriend of the Devil (who is a sad divorced captalist and it's implied to have created that universe version of Pokemon). She is super cool and I really love her. She also totaly has a body count.

10. Misroch - Brimstone Valley Mail

Again my last entrance is from a podcast, but what can I do? Misroch is great. They are just very fun and possibly the impulse control of their whole friend group. I love them. And what isn't in it to love in a sassy non-binary rocker demon who sells human hot-dogs? I also gave them the biggest honor of headcannoing them as autistic.

Tags:

I already tagged ten people the first time, this time I will tag a bit less. Anyway, no presure, do it if you think you'll have fun: @empresspengwin, @allaboardthecolumboat, @krkringle

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I've seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker… ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

Kagami has no idea why her mother suddenly has an interest in Marinette but she wont complain about having more time with her very cute designer friend. And all the outfits Tomeo is paying Marinette to make for Kagami is giving the young fencer plenty of up-close and personal moments with Marinette. And okay Marinette is VERY cute and Kagami wont question why she suddenly has all this tine with Marinette, eating ice cream with the girl and having brunch. But she knows shes absolutely head over heels when Marinette shows up at her fencing tournament gives her a luck charm and cheers her on wearing HER colors. Obviously Kagami wiped the floor with all the competition she cant be seen hesitating in front of Marinette!

On Tomeo’s side of things she makes sure that the paparazzi still lurking around after Kagami and Adrien’s breakup catch photos of what could easily be interpreted as dates between the girls. After all this is a revenge ploy but also Marinette is fantastic so Tomeo is 300% down with Kagami ‘bringing her into the family’ something she tells Kagami after the first paparazzi ‘date photos’ leak into the news. Kagami still has no idea this was an orchestrated affair and just thinks her mothers caught on to her feelings and is overjoyed that Marinette is approved of because after the cheek kiss Marinette gave her for winning the fencing tournament Kagami was preparing to fight her mother for the right to pursue the young designer seriously. After all she never hesitates! 

But Tomeo never realized Gabriel isnt the only one interested in Marinette. Audrey Bourgeouis has been keeping an eye on Marinette trying to find a way to get Marinette on to her side and away from Gabriel. So when she sees the photos of Kagami and Marinette she sees an opportunity. After all if Marinette isnt exclusively into men (and those photos of her flushed cheeks as Kagami cleans ice cream off her bottom lip are a clear indication shes not) then Audrey smells opportunity. After all Marinette was Chloe’s first crush! How cute would that be! The next day Marinette is being offered yet another opportunity to intern under Audrey this time with much looser restrictions. When Marinette accepts she suddenly finds herself working with Chloe… A LOT. The pair are modeling together, often paired together for shoots in perfect complementary clothes that screams ‘opposites attract’. Chloe is also helping manage Marinette’s brand and the two start to get along very well. The model photos and their business lunches are soon plastered alongside the Kagami and Marinette outings with parisian gossip blogs finding their interest picked by this potential love triangle.

Chloe for one, was confused at first. Sure she knew her mom was interested in Marinette but she never thought SHE would be working so closely with her first crush. And Chloe tries to ignore it, after all those are dead feelings! And Marinette woud never forgive her anyway so why even- Wait. Is that Marinette in a downright gorgeous golden dress? A-and she will be posing right next to Chloe for their shared shoot? Well… Chloe always thought herself deserving of royalty and damn if Marinette aint the princess of her dreams. Sorry Adriken’s you had your chance to get the girl, but now its winner keeps all and Marinette is the only prize shes interested in. For the record Alya is freaked out by Chloe being nice, but shes more weirded out by Chloe being protective and handsy and downright shamelessly flirty with Marinette. Audrey is pleased when she hears the news and is quick to give her daughter encouragement acting as if none of this was premeditated at ALL.

Oh but they have no idea that this is just the beginning. Because guess who's moved back into town. Adrien’s favorite cousin and aunty. And Felix’s mom is quite the busybody and dammit Felix needs friends! And maybe a cute girlfriend! And oh whos that pretty girl on the magazine cover? Marinette? The one her celebrity connections have nothing but praise for? Perfect! Shes invited to lunch with Felix and herself on friday to discuss movie costumes! And oh Audrey dear dont you think Marinette would look fabulous sandwiched between TWO blondes! Felix hasnt modeled in a while but come now. So suddenly Marinette is being spotted with Felix guiding him about paris and modeling with him AND Chloe under AUDREY’s brand NOT Gabriels.

Felix thought hed really hate Marinette; he tried to ignore her he really did. But shes funny, witty and sweet. Not to mention trustworthy, so a good candidate for a business partner. And thats it, but then he has to admit hes impressed when he rolls up to a photoshoot and Chloe! The definition of brat personified is acting… Bearable. Yes, somehow Marinette has done the impossible! She has tamed the beast known as Chloe. And yes fine he will admit shes drop dead gorgeous and how intelligent of her to learn all sides of the fashion industry and boost her rep with modelling! Soon hes spending more time with her, he tries to argue he needs a guide, that shes the most bearable person to be with! That she is just a friend- Oh god. No it cant be! He sounds like-! Like ADRIEN! And Chloe already told him about THAT mess! No! Absolutely not! He will not lead on Marinette like his idiot cousin! Marinette is a rare and beautiful woman! She could be his queen! And god he has to admit it much as he loathes too Marinette’s smile is enough to make him thank every non-existent god. He will win her heart, show her that she deserves better than his brain dead cousin! Felix is sure mother will approve of his decision to pursue the girl, now he just needs to do more shoots with Marinette...

And that's what finally gets Gabriel to snap. Because REALLY Felix!? Is there no loyalty to FAMILY. Not to mention he was totally drafting a potential contract for Marinette when Audrey snapped her up the witch! But its fine! Marinette has always been interested in Adrien! Surely she still is? Surely she's not been swayed by any of her new suitors! Right? Gabriel knows he can't mess with Audrey’s contract so he goes through Adrien, freeing up his sons schedule and telling him to spend time with Marinette to help her ‘adapt’ to the harsh world of fashion and modeling. He uses Adrien’s heroic nature to make it sound like hed be saving her from Chloe and Felix. And sure enough Adrien bites, using his friendship with Chloe to worm into fittings, meetings, and photo shoots. At first hes just there to make sure Chloe and Felix arent hurting sweet Marinette. But when he sees the blondes fighting for her attention, flirting with her, posing with her in some rather romantic settings. Suddenly hes less worried and more… Jealous? No! Not him! Hes concerned, confused, suspicious! Obviously he needs to spend more time with Mari- Wait! When did Kagami get here to take Marinette to lunch! And why are they all ignoring him!!!

Now Marinette is fully in the public's eye. Gossip blogs are being fed bits of info writing up each ‘candidates’ appeal as THE romantic partner to the Marinette Dupain-Cheng paris new darling, the girl with a heart of gold too oblivious to see the trail of hearts following her around! But there is still another contender yet to enter the game! Jaggeds been away on tour teaching Luka his up and coming protege all the tricks. And lets not lie Luka has his own fans now, enough to rival all the others. Jagged sees Luka as his own son, even calling him as much! Hell hes even adopted Luka and Juleka and when I say adopted I mean Jagged literally got shared custody of the kids when their real dad tried to start trouble once Luka started gaining fame. Luka and Juleka for one love their adopted father and his wonderful fiance Penny. But back to Jagged, being Jagged. 

The moment Jagged is back in Paris he's checking up on his favorite designer and hopefully future daughter in law! When… WHAT'S THIS?! All the other ritchies in Paris are playing his game! Trying to get Marinette married into THEIR families! Not rock and roll at all! He was here first! And so being Jagged he decides to make Luka’s stake in the race for Marinette’s heart clear! By spamming social media with photos of Marinette being cute with Luka, taking his measurements, going out with him, the pair babying Fang, the two passed out against each other after a long concert. And he has photos going back at least a year or two! Soon Luka’s fans pick up the hype starting a trending hashtag finding the pair cute! Jagged feels confident that hes won! When Audrey retaliates, and from there its a complete train wreck. Before long each pair has a hashtag filled with cute moments and arguing over whos dating the model / fashion designer! 

Meanwhile Adrien is drowning in denial as he goes through each hashtag seething about how many MORE photos everyone else has with Marinette, when HE is her very good friend and was here first! Felix, Chloe and Kagami on the other hand have declared open war after they tried to talk to each other about the hashtags reasonably only for it to devolve into “so you agree Marinette is best with me!” - “WHAT! No! Thats not what I said! Besides she clearly is best with me!” - “Ridiculous!” And so on. Poor Luka is having an entirely different reaction hiding in shame unsure how to face Marinette because he WAS going to ask her on a proper date now that she seems over Adrien, because even with everything she's the melody playing in his heart and he had a plan! But now his mom and sister are texting him and teasing him and apparently he has MORE competition! Who do these people think they are to deserve Marinette! No! Luka won't lose Jagged has been teaching him to be bold and confident! And Marinette is worth all of his efforts! Jagged REGRETS NOTHING even if Penny confiscated the tv remote!

Marinette meanwhile has no idea what's going on because the whole class made a dumb bet on when the designer would notice with one of the bet conditions being that no one could tip Marinette off and that they have to keep her away from Paparazzi so they dont spoil it either. And sense Alya is helping manage Marinette’s social media Marinette hasn't looked at it yet so she has NO idea what's happening. But her birthday is coming up next week and Chloe definitely didn't get dibs on planning a surprise party for her all so she could spoil the girl and RUB her GREAT relationship with Marinette into her competitions FACES! The competition however (and Adrien JustAfriend Agreste) have decided that they really aren't going down without a fight!

[ Wanna Support Me? Donate HERE! ]

[ Wanna Read More? Masterlist HERE! ]

[stardustprompts]

the poppy war - r.f kuang   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   drugs , death , murder , nsfw , prostitution mention , language

‘take off your clothes.’

‘why would anyone drug themselves before a test?’

‘you’re about to be a very lucky girl, sweet.’

‘wow that’s great. really great. Terrific.’

‘your folks are assholes.’

‘well fuck the heavenly order of things.’

‘don’t you have actual responsibilities?’

‘I don’t want to get on _____ ‘s bad side.’

‘you would make a terrible prostitute. no charm.’

‘what is so wrong with getting married?’

‘do you want to die?’

‘everything is spilling out of my head as quickly as I put it in.’

‘please do not commit spousal homicide.’

‘give me a way out of this shithole.’

‘hello, I’m praying.’

‘I seduced him with my nubile young body. you caught me.’

‘you can’t scare me into a confession, because I’m telling the truth.’

‘and that means you’re shit at your job.’

‘if you cross them—- if they even think you’ve looked at them funny—- they can and will hurt you.’

‘it’s easy to lose a language when you never speak it.’

‘you’re offending them with your very presence.’

‘they’ll make you an outsider, because you’re not like them.’

‘no matter what they say, you deserve to be here.’

‘I’ll kill you. I will fucking kill you.’

‘I went out in the sun once. you should try it sometime.’

‘oh, you’re the one ____ hates.’

‘you’d be a prick too if your family was both rich and attractive.’

‘honestly? I think he just comes in here to get high.’

‘I think you’re flattering yourself.’

‘unless you’ve got a weapon, don’t aim for the face. the neck’s a better target.’

‘we aren’t here to be sophisticated. we’re here to fuck people up.’

‘this is the only kick you’ll ever need, really. a kick to bring down the most powerful warriors.’

‘power dictates acceptability.’

‘he hasn’t done anything to earn my respect. all he’s done is act high and mighty.’

‘you’re nothing. you shouldn’t even be here.’

‘consider me bullied and intimidated, just let me sleep.’

‘he’s playing with her. he’ll end it soon.’

‘they’re good at fighting, but not much else.’

‘spend a lot of time looking at ____’s eyes do you?’

‘a betrayal of that sort would not have been out of character.’

‘come on, you belong here too.’

‘they’re not going to get rid of me like this. not this easily.’

‘I’m calm! I’m extremely calm!’

‘you’d rather kill your own people than let the opponent’s army walk away?’

‘you don’t let an enemy walk away if they’ll certainly be a threat to you later.’

‘he can’t stop raving about you.’

‘oh, don’t pretend to be bashful. you love it.’

‘you’re a walking disaster.’

‘anyone this obstinate deserves some attention, if only to make sure you don’t become a walking hazard to everyone around you.’

‘I heard he got drunk on rice wine last week and pissed into ____’s window. he sounds awesome.’

‘it’s me, your favorite person in the whole wide world.’

‘I do not have a problem. you are making up this problem for reasons unbeknownst to me.’

‘you’re killing the mood.’

‘they were weak as shit. scrawnier than you, even.’

‘you’re a real asshole. you know that right?’

‘your state of mind is just as important as the state of your body.’

‘sometimes you must loose the string to let the arrow fly.’

‘because I want to break his stupid face.’

‘he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate.’

‘from this point on you’re just going to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.’

‘you’re too reckless. you hold grudges, you cultivate your rage and let it explode, and you’re careless about what you’re taught.’

‘I knew I was the only one that could help him.’

‘they honed his rage like a weapon, instead of teaching him to control it.’

‘one urinating statue for my easily entertained friend.’

‘I don’t believe in gods. but I believe in power.’

‘one might say you’ve been obsessed with ____.’

‘don’t look to your left. pretend you’re taking to me.’ / ‘I am talking to you.’

‘we’re studying very weird things.’

‘I don’t actually know what I’m getting into.’

‘here is what happened: you called a god, and the god answered.’

‘you know that if you don’t get answers now, the hunger will consume you and your mind will crack.’

‘you’ve glimpsed the other side and you can’t rest until you fill in the blanks.’

‘supernatural is a word for anything that doesn’t fit your present understanding of the world.’

‘I’m supposed to take it as true that you’re a god?’

‘I’m not a god. I am a mortal who has woken up, and there is power in awareness.’

‘are we getting high? oh, wow. we’re getting high.’

‘ah. the law. so inconvenient. so irrelevant.’

‘we are not madmen. but how can we convince anyone of this, when the rest of the world believes it so?’

‘the price of power is pain.’

‘I understand the truth of things. I know what it means to exist.’

‘prey do not question the motives of the predator. the dead do not question the living. mortals do not challenge the gods.’

‘I killed for you. I would have done anything for you.’

‘I have seen the end of things. the shape of the world has changed.’

‘war doesn’t determine who’s right. war determines who remains.’

‘it’s alright. I know what you are.’

‘I thought I was the only one left.’

‘we have developed the power to rewrite the fabric of this world. if we don’t use it, then what’s the point?’

‘I don’t mess with that shit. it screws you up.’

‘I understand the appeal, I really do, but I like having my mind to myself.’

‘he’s a charmer. like a new puppy. you think he’s adorable until he pisses on the furniture.’

‘there’s no routine. no discipline. nothing you’re used to. am I right?’

‘so you’re the last of your kind. that’s sad.’

‘If you hold the fate of the country in your hands, if you have accepted your obligation to your people, then your life ceases to be your own.’

‘____ feared, and so he held you back.’

‘great danger is always associated with great power. the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to take that risk.’

‘don’t ever let go on that anger. rage gives you power. caution does not.’

‘don’t give in... you’ve been so brave... but it takes more bravery to resist the power.’

‘the nature of this god is to destroy. the nature of this god is to be greedy, to never be satisfied with what he has consumed.’

‘so. screaming at rocks. is that, like, normal behavior here?’

‘fix this. prove your worth. do your fucking job or get out.’

‘I saved your life. doesn’t that make us at least a little square?!’

‘I was scared of you. and I lashed out.’

‘I thought I was better than you, and I’m not. I’m sorry.’

‘when I killed it, it felt like murder.’

‘look, I’m happy to discuss this, really, but I’m currently leaking life out three different wounds and I think I may pass out. would you give me a moment?’

‘well maybe ____ should get his head out of his ass.’

‘ ____ is more fragile than you think.’

‘look, asshole, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.’

‘they say he can read the future. shatter minds.’

‘you misunderstand the nature of our relationship. I am not your friend.’

‘he’s not human. he—- I don’t know what he is.’

‘but ___ was never allowed to be human.’

‘do you trust me?’ / ‘no. but that’s irrelevant.’

‘you don’t know what true suffering is.’

‘I have seen more than my fair share of suffering.’

‘that boy is beyond redemption. that boy is broken like the rest.’

‘I don’t want to be saved! I want power!’

‘that power will destroy everything you’ve ever loved. you will defeat your enemy, and the victory will turn to ashes in your mouth.’

‘we’ve missed something. something’s been laid out for us, but we can’t see it.’

‘fretting won’t make the dead come back to life.’

‘there was nothing human in those eyes.’

‘It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.’

‘I don’t need your pity. I need you to kill them for me.’

‘whatever it takes. swear it on your life. swear it for me.’

‘I won’t judge him. I don’t dare, because I don’t have the right. and neither do you.’

‘you asked me why I wouldn’t stop him. now you understand. you can’t stop an avenger. you can’t reason with a madman.’

‘I am afraid of what he might do in his quest for vengeance. and I am afraid that he is right.’

‘I am about to do something terrible. and you will have a choice.’

‘they give nothing to the universe, and the universe owes them nothing in return.’

‘you cannot survive my death.’

‘you’re trying to deceive me. you don’t get to deceive me.’

‘this is not the way. this path leads only to darkness.’

‘when are you going to stop being such a damn coward? what are you running from?’

‘you will turn the world to ash, and only demons will live in the rubble.’

‘you dress up your crusade with moral arguments, when in truth you would let millions die if it means you get your so-called justice.’

‘you have not cared about anything for a very long time. you are broken.’

‘I am terrified. but only because I’m starting to remember who I once was. don’t go down that path.’

‘your country is ash. you can’t bring it back with blood.’

‘I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.’

‘you know the worst part? we’re so close to home.’

‘did you miss me? did you miss this?’

‘I just gave him some of his favorite medicine.’

‘resistance here means suffering. there is no escape. no future.’

‘you have nothing to fight for anymore’

‘what are you defending? you owe ____ nothing.’

‘we were disposable. we were tools. tell me that doesn’t make you furious.’

‘I am sick with fury.’

‘I will die on my feet. I will not die a coward. and neither will you.’

‘we could stay here. we could stay here forever. we wouldn’t have to go back.’

‘you’ll have to live with the consequences. but you’re brave ... you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.’

‘I have lost everything I care about. I don’t want peace, I want revenge.’

‘I don’t need to sleep. I need to feel nothing.’

‘do you want forgiveness? I can’t give you that.’

‘we avenged him. he’s gone, but avenged.’

‘you have to believe that it was necessary. that it stopped something worse. and even if it wasn’t, it’s the lie we’ll tell ourselves, starting today and every day afterward.’

‘aren’t you supposed to be a seer? do you ever see anything useful?’

‘we have an enemy whom we love.’

‘I’m going to find and kill everyone responsible. you cannot stop me.’

‘oh I’m not going to stop you.’

[encantosworld]

Hello, how are you faring? Well I hope. If and ONLY IF you/your inbox aren’t busy, could I request some hcs or a short one-shot or something of reader’s and Antonio’s relationship? Reader is his older sister/cousin, they’re really close and Have a really wholesome relationship or something like that? This kid is such a bubby he is so precious and his room (and power but mostly room) is literally everything I’ve ever wanted in life (I’m jealous).

Maybe they’re hanging out in his room, or going on small adventures or just a sweet cuddle session, idk.

Thank you, and please take care of yourself (don’t push yourself too hard!) Make sure to drink enough water and eat something if you haven’t already, and sleep is very important too! Minimum 7-8 hrs 👍🏻

Hi, I'm doing better now. Earlier I kind of felt like I wasn't writing enough, but I treated myself with some new things.

Antonio x cousin!Reader PLATONIC.

Your mother rang the doorbell, and dumped you off to your father's families home. Your father Bruno had disappeared soon after you were born.

You have a fire gift, and light yourself on fire if you upset, you also think your famoly should stop hiding, and talk about Bruno.

No on to the Antonio platonic fluff.

Your the oldest grandchild, you were 15, when your tía Pepa gave birth. You are his care taker fifth-ish, as your expecting children yourself.

HE'S A LITTLE ANGLE. NO MORE OR LESS SAID. HE LOVES HIS JAGUAR, AND HIS WEIRD SCARY FUZZY SPIDERS.

One day he came up to you, and placed a Exotic fuzzy really FUZZY and scary spider in your hand. He told you he wanted you to keep it, and so be it you now have a tarantula spider just chillin' in your room

When you finally had your first child he was the first to hold them, everyone had to wait until he was done. You just love the innocent thing.

He's a little gentleman, he's always helping with bottles, and clothing. Even if he barely understands it, he really likes helping.

He also had sleepovers with you, to get out of the nursery every once in a while. He hates socks, and shoes

He just looks like one of those kids who hates wearing shoes or socks. I'm talking about the kids that will throw a fit if he has to put on shoes, and it's cute .

When your tía Pepa had him, she knew you and Mirabel would take good care of him.

You walked with him, as he walked up the stairs to his door because he was nervous.

You convinced him that him not having a gift wouldn't be the worst thing ever that he would stay with you and Mirabel forever.

He loves your S/O they buy him things and food AND TOYS. THAT'S NOT YOURS S/O THAT'S OUR S/O.

Antonio teaches you all about the cool animals in his room. There's some you didn't even know existed in there. He's always bringing you a new animal, that you didn't know existed and telling you it's your pet but then taking it away.

You grew to love the tarantula, and to care for it. You would never let anything die.

He also brings you water to put out the fire on your dress. You get upset when people tell you to stop talking about your father. But one thing you'll never do is yell at children,(Antonio) about you own problems

Sorry if this was short, but I really liked this one. Also thanks for checking up on me, I was really overwhelmed. I want to start writing relationship HCS but I don't wanna make something half assed and not finished. So yeah this is why I don't do relationship HCS

[orange-waterfalls]

Vampire!Reader x Markiplier Egos

ty anon for the request

A/N: YES. IT'S BEEN A WHILE. HAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN. I absolutely remembered today is the 1 year anniversary of ahwm absolutely this is not a coincidence what are you talking about ahahahahha. I've been busy w/ school and drawing and general depression and anxiety with the current situation but I'm getting back into it! Vampire reader. That's pretty much it. Rated T, a bit of cursing, mentions of blood, mentions of fangs. A slightly suggestive phrase but that's just Illinois like there has to be at least one with him it's the law. ALSO. NEW RULE? IF I'M DOING LIKE HCS OR SMTHN I WILL DO 6 AT A TIME. I CANNOT BE WRITING 14 DIFFERENT EGOS AT ONCE I JUST CAN'T I'M SORRY. anyways enjoy!

Vampire!Reader x Egos Headcanons

General

Not much PDA

Not much going out in general

You have to cover your whole body when you do, unless it’s nighttime

You spend much of your time inside or in the forest

You’re basically nocturnal

You do drink blood, and you don’t need a lot of it

You drink human blood only if they give permission

You don’t kill people

You know or know of some other supernatural creatures that exist

You are friends with a werewolf. One specifically. You know the one.

Darkiplier

You both are edgy as all hell it’s perfect!

Politely asks you not to bite him

a) because he’s not human and b) because it’ll hurt

You both are very calm and well-spoken. So. not much happens.

However, you are both, in fact, dumb bitches, so things are still entertaining

“My darling, would you like some garli-mmm nevermind...”

You go out with him sometimes on romantic moonlit walks

You don’t have to wear as much then

You make him get a pet, a black cat specifically

He loves it

You named it Darko, Dark for short, and he hates the name

Like he hates the name a lot

It is irrational how much he hates the fucking name

He calls it DA

He never explains why

When you want blood he’ll trap a deer or something

You go into the forest and drink a little of its blood

He’s surprised

“What am I, a werewolf?”

He’ll ask you about supernatural creatures, and how to defend against them

You’re pretty sure he’s an eldritch entity so you aren’t sure why he’s asking YOU

He won’t ask how you became a vampire, that seems personal

He never gets startled when you turn into a bat

He can hear your lil wingbeats from a mile away

Sometimes you’ll sleep as a bat and he just smiles at you hanging from the fan

Fine with you not interacting with others, like he does much of that…

Just likes hanging out in your fucking giant victorian mansion with you

Wilford

We all know that his type is, in fact, edgy bitch

Therefore, you are perfect

Dark clothes? Check

Edgy backstory? Probably

Kinda scary? Oh absolutely

And he loves you for that!

He doesn’t want to be a vampire, but he fuckin loves your teeth

He’ll ask you to bare them and then he’ll do a happy wiggle afterwards

He loves dancing with you, slow or fast

It’s always romantic

He’s basically a god so like. Anything you ask for he’s gotchu

You said you were hungry and he fucking kidnapped someone

You said you were hungry, that was on you

You then explain that you don’t need a whole FUCKING PERSON

He then steals some blood bags from the hospital

“Oh, calm down! They have enough!”

Likes taking you out, so you go on night walks a lot.

You’re not used to social interaction, so he makes sure to steer you away from people

Unless you want to talk to them, then he starts up a conversation and lets you take over

You don’t understand people, and neither does he! It’s great.

Likes when you turn into a bat

He doesn’t know why, it just makes him happy

You made him adopt a black cat

He named it Colonel Whiskers

Loves you and your castle and your weird ass little quirks

Actor

Bite him.

BITE. HIM.

LET HIM BE IMMORTAL

You refuse for the sole reason that he is a dick.

You do get along because you both are, in fact, pretentious

You wear those silk robes around the house, and he gets mad at you

HE is the sexy mysterious one, COME ON!

At least you won’t have an edgier backstory than him…

Likes slow dancing with you

Very much enjoys your Aesthetic

Believes that he too belongs in a Victorian era castle isolated from the world

Loves the dark romance

Is a Fancy Boy

Was fully prepared to murder someone for you to drink their blood

Surprised when you said it wasn’t necessary???

Buys a horse or smthn

Asks about supernatural beings and which are immortal

He asks that a lot

He worries you sometimes.

Hates it when you turn into a bat

You’re small and you fly around and you’re fucking GROSS

He doesn’t. He doesn’t like animals very much. Besides dogs I mean.

Buys you clothes because you’ve been wearing the same shit for fucking EVER

Don’t worry, they’re all black, dark purple, or dark red

Sometimes you decide to go on a walk and he tags along

Possessive bitch

Thinks you’ll leave him if you talk to other people

He scares them or leads you away

Was fine with a black wolfdog you brought home after searching for food

Names it Phoenix, and you call it Nix for short

Is deeply in love with you, but will never say or show it

Yancy

He thinks you’re wonderful!

Originally a bit mean to you

He thought YOU thought you were better than him

He saw the fangs and backed off

He asked about them and you answered, so you got along

Asked if he could be a vampire

You asked if he wanted to be immortal. He declined.

Suggested you drink his blood when you were hungry

You said it wasn’t necessary, but he pushed

Stared at you the whole time

“what’s your issue” “this is very… intimate.”

On that note: has an issue with intimacy

You’re very cold naturally, so you’d want to cuddle

He awkwardly shifts away

Once he gets more comfortable, he might cuddle with you

Loves the silk robes you own, they’re so fucking COMFY

AND THE SILK SHEETS?? Heaven

Absolutely loves all the fancy shit you have

You teach him how to waltz and he teaches you how to tap dance

You have a very equal give and take relationship with everything, it’s great

Neither of you like social interaction

You will if you HAVE to but mostly keep to yourselves

You love Yancy's prison buddies

They love you too

Asked if you knew mothman

You couldn’t tell if he was joking

He absolutely Was Not joking

He sings to you sometimes

It echoes through the place and the Aesthetic man

Hates it when you turn into a bat

Bad. No. Stop. Scary.

A small animal flying at him is a no go

Alternatively: get him a pet dog and he will love you forever

He names it Elvis. Yeah you know why.

Overall loves you and your aesthetic, and you could tell even before you got together

Illinois

Excited but doesn't show it

He's met PLENTY of supernatural creatures

Ghosts, gods, there was a thing with that werewolf one time…

(He has the scars to prove it)

But a vampire? That's new

He doesn’t live at your place because he travels a lot

He still stays there sometimes between adventures

Uncomfortable with how clean it is

You are. An immortal being. And you take the time to clean. What the fuck.

“Would YOU wanna spend eternity in a dusty ass mansion?”

His flirts are often about your fangs

You threatened to bite him and he said “promise?”

Said you could drink his blood, but you said no

“I don’t know what the fuck you got in that bloodstream”

Doesn’t do walks but takes you on adventures

If it’s a cave. And you turn into a bat.

ONLY if you turn into a bat

Sidenote: he fucking adores when you turn into a bat

He just thinks they’re neat

Uncomfortable with how soft everything you own is

NOTHING is soft in nature

Except. Like a lot of things. But don’t tell him he’ll get mad

Doesn’t really want a pet bc he’ll never be home to deal with it

He’ll be fine if you get one though

He wants to name it Nathan Drake he doesn’t care what it is

NERD(see: Uncharted)

Will never EVER wear a fucking suit

He will DIE before he wears a suit fuck you

Dislikes anything remotely fancy

Talks about the creatures he’s met

you get Bard Vibes if ya know what i mean wink wink nudge nudge he's a whore is what I'm saying here

You hang out normally mostly

He refuses to acknowledge his feelings for you

Not after the mermaid incident.

He eventually will, i promise

Magnum

He’s a pirate, he doesn’t care

He’s seen sirens, ancient spirits, probably Davey Jones at some point

A vampire? Low on the list of dangerous creatures

He has a whole ship made outta wood he’s not that worried

You don't really sail with him often

When you do, you're seen as a threat to anyone and everyone

He loves that about you

Warned you not to bite him or he'd stake you

You promised not to and that was enough for him

You get along with the crew fairly well

However do NOT turn into a bat around them

They will not hesitate to shoot

"UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT, MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS!

You can maybe do it around Magnum and only Magnum

Doesn't like your house

He belongs to the sea

But can and will steal your sheets for himself

A pirate can have a little silk, as a treat

Offered his crew's blood to drink after a while

You declined because you don't know what the fuck kinda diseases they have

Doesn't really want a pet. He can't tell them what to do.

You bought an axolotl and he loves it a lot

Its name is Delta but he has deemed it Magnum Jr

Can't really. Fit. In any suits you have

He has to go out and get one personally tailored if he wants it

Likes dancing with you

Slow dancing. To Danny Boy.

He can't dance but that's ok he tries

You talk about land creatures and he talks about ocean creatures

So far he despises werewolves and skinwalkers

He likes spending as much time with you possible

He doesn't much like the idea of a relationship bc of his uh line of work

But he loves you

[marindram]

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

[theoutcastedartist]

Give us all you animaniacs hcs (especially the lgbtq+ ones)((please))

Oh man I have so many to tell asfhjahsbsb I'm gonna leave out some of the more darker HC I have for this show (well technically, they are wildly-outlandish theories about where the Warner trio was for those 20+ years before the current time of the reboot, just gonna exclude those for now)

Ight imma start with the lgbtq+ headcannons first

Wakko: Nonbinary (Uses He/Them Pronouns)

Dot : Trans (Uses She/Her pronouns) and Pan

Yakko : Bi and Ace (Biromantic I believe it's called? Please correct me if I'm wrong on that)

On an unrelated note, Yakko is a whole mood

lmao look at my tiny clown-faced-puppy disaster son being the dramatic Bi-Ace icon he is when he's basically about to "die"

If you ever asked my younger siblings, they would tell you that I would 100% do the same shit, maybe even start singing "Little Miss Perfect" out of pure spite

Who knew me, as the oldest of a sibling trio would relate to the oldest of another sibling trio

ANYWHO BACK TO HEADCANNON STUFF BECAUSE YES

Oh man lemme start with Yakko HCs because he's the character I project so much on to nowadays:

Yakko

All his senses are very sensitive compared to the other two, sometimes he'll get really overwhelmed by bright lights, strong flavors, loud noise, etc... he feels like he's being dumb everytime he has a problem with anything regarding his senses.

Lights and noise: Sometimes it just gets too much for him if he's exposed to constant loud noise and bright lights to the point where he'll start crying or yelling (especially if noise is the main problem) out of stress from it.

Strong flavors: He will visibly shudder in response to a very strong and very noticable flavor. He honestly prefers to eat blander foods over savory dishes. With that being said, he hates spicy food with a burning passion.

Very unwilling to go to someone for help or comfort when he's genuinely having a crisis over how he views himself. If anything, he's will try to do literally almost anything to avoid having that sort of conversation, especially with Dr. Scratchansniff.

He will however go to Dr. Scratchansniff or another trusted adult for advice if he needs help for how to take care of his siblings or just for general advice on stuff.

He hates being picked up or hugged with zero warning.

The only people who he doesnt mind doing this are Wakko and Dot, of course. If anyone else tries it though, he'll bite them and yes, this includes Dr. Scratchansniff as well. He may be the closest thing to them as a parental figure (in the 90's show at least), but he's not in the same close knit circle Yakko is in with Wakko and Dot.

His main hobby is drawing, it's his go to coping mechanism if he's not up to cracking a joke(while he's in the watertower) as well.

He needs glasses/wears contacts (ones made specifically for toons I guess)

Prefers reading books over watching anything on TV/electronic devices in general.

If either or both of his siblings can't sleep, he'll sing them a lullaby 💕

Off-set/off-screen/ outside of the recording for animaniacs Yakko usually wears these thick, oversized hoodies, and he will refuse to take it off.

This is because Yakko feels really weird and off when his arms aren't covered(sometimes there is this random phantom ache in his arms that just wont go away until he covers them. It's not like painful, painful, but just really annoying at times.) Even if it's hot as hell outside, he will not take it off. Wakko and Dot usually have to wrestle to get it off him, otherwise Yakko will faint/have a heat stroke. They make a compromise by agreeing to Yakko wearing long sleeves, so long as they're made out of light material.

If he needs caffeine to "wake up" but is too damn tired to do so, Yakko will not hesitate to just straight-up eat pure coffee beans.

Wakko

For anything else, he does not mind eating food with very strong flavors, he actually enjoys spicy food (the spicier, the better), but for cereal they prefer the blandest one. Bland food is comforting to him (also doesnt want his brother to feel bad about not liking a lot of the savory foods he and Dot like)

Doesnt have much of a problem expressing himself. If he genuinely feels bad about something regarding themself, he wont hesitate to go to Yakko (sometimes he'll go to Dot if she happens to be there first, but 95% of the time he'll go to Yakko)

They actually likes being picked up and carried, but only by family and close friends. Any stranger who tries to pick him up will receive angry claw marks to the face.

Main hobby is composing music (instumentals). They will let Yakko or Dot write lyrics if they're feeling sad or bored (or as a sibling bonding activity too)

Favorite TV show is the Looney Tunes (classic cartoons)

He gives comfort to his sibs by just being there for them as a shoulder to cry on.

They don't like having their hat off for an extended period of time often. It's a source of comfort and his way of expressing his identity.

Is the one who usually has to stop Yakko from eating bare coffee beans when he's too tired to actually make coffee.

Dot

She's pretty in the middle when it comes to food.

If it's a minor thing, she'll usually just talk to Wakko about it. If it's something more serious, she'll go to Yakko about it.

She only let's Yakko and Wakko touch her or carry her. Outside of those two, she only let's Dr. Scratchansniff carry her. For anyone else, she will clobber anyone who makes an attempt to do so. She just really hates it when if comes to anyone else.

Main hobbies are sewing and designing clothes. She'll have her siblings model her clothes for her (they are very eager to do so everytime). It provides a good distraction for either Yakko or Wakko if they're down or frustrated about something. It's just super fun.

Really loves (well-made) action movies, it's like her favorite genre of movies.

Gives comfort by providing her siblings with soft materials (like blankets or pillows). She'll drape herself over either of them to provide a comforting pressure.

She expresses herself through her iconic pink skirt and flower scrunchie. Both are her favorite articles of clothing because her siblings were the ones who got them for her. (Yakko sewed the pink skirt; he was the one to teach Dot how to sew 💕)

She's a last resort to stopping Yakko from eating the coffee beans raw.

Original vs. Reboot headcannons

The original 1990's show is more "On-stage", having for educational songs and skits, whereas the 2020 Reboot/revival is more "Off-Stage" with the occasional show skit, hence any inconsistencies with the characters' personalities, especially Yakko.

Both shows take place in the same type of setting as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" (The idea of cartoons existing as real entities alongside humans; I got a lot of WFRR vibes during Sufferage City with the whole "Cartoon Rights" part especially)

Well that's about as much as I can write for now, I have more headcannons of course, but I found this to be a good place to stop.

These are just my personal headcannons of the Warner Trio, I don't really have any for Pinky and the Brain, but I wanna know what some of your guy's headcannons are for any aspect of the shows!

[mrsmaybank]

Apocalypse - Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

“You’re finally taking Cinema and Literature.” I felt him smile against the skin of my shoulder. He said it so casually. As if my underwear weren’t on his floor and the room didn’t reek of last night’s sex and Absolut. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: Semi-Graphic Descriptions of Sex, Alcohol, Language, Implications of fighting/angst, toxic relationship

A/N:  You can’t tell me that little collage isn’t exactly what it would be like to date college Matthew. He was the embodiment of NYU Film Major. Looked fucking hot doing it too. Cigs After Sex is the soundtrack to your relationship, by the way. Listen to Apocalypse here.

-----------------

NYU TISCH SCHOOL OF THE ARTS 

9:05 AM - Saturday, August 26, 2000 Sophomore Year 

 It was early Saturday morning. I was naked and petrified. Bare back faced to Matthew Gray Gubler. I didn’t know if he was awake, and if he was what the hell would I say. I hoped as soon as he realized the naked girl in his bed was me he’d kick me out. Save me the shameful, deer in headlights bra collecting exit.  I prayed he would tell me to leave so I just....would. I heard pillows and sheets rustle, and I just hoped he just did what was best for the both of us. 

Tell me to leave Matthew. 

Like always though, we were absolutely not on the same page. 

“So..” His big hand slid over my hip from behind me, his palm gently forcing me back onto him, “You’re finally taking Cinema and Literature.” I felt him smile against the skin of my shoulder. He said it so casually. As if my underwear weren’t on his floor and the room didn’t reek of last night’s sex and Absolut. 

“Yeah.” I answered. His short finger nails dug into his hips as his chest met my back. Neck craning over me. I shuddered and he noticed. 

“You like it right?” It was a painfully obvious double entendre and I couldn’t figure out either of the answers. The Cinema and Literature professors unconventional teaching methods were a circulating debate at NYU, but fucking my ex AND staying the night the first weekend back on campus was indisputably wrong. Problem was I really enjoyed both. 

Wet lips began to pepper equally wet kisses on my neck. My ability to move or speak was stripped. It was embarrassing really; I couldn’t focus or function when he touched me. Matthew liked that. A lot. Somethings never change. 

“Your opinion on Scorsese?” His hands traveled through sheets and onto the bare skin of my chest. I sucked in a deep breath and looked him in the eye for the first time since last night. He had a cocky, stupid hot smile on his face. His hands slipped under me and I knew I was gone so I looked away. I didn’t want to see what he was thinking. This was so incredibly self destructive. We were swiftly undoing all the slow healing we’d both already done. 

My brain spun all its gears at once to get out an answer while his hands practically methodically massaged my boobs. The feeling was the best kind of familiar. “You value my opinion?” 

A hand made it’s way to my face, pulling it to his so that we could look at each other again. “Always did.” His voice was soft with sincerity that affected me more then I would’ve liked it to. 

God, why? Why did things end the way they did? Why did....Why was.... Just why? There were so many whys, way too many fucking whys. Just tell me why, Matthew, please. 

Then he kissed me, and it felt like time didn’t exist anymore. 

Your lips, my lips 

Apocalypse

Time was like that for awhile, non-existent. The only thing that existed and mattered were the lips attached to mine and the torturously clever hand in between my legs. He stroked me with such tender care and affinity, I almost forgot we’d exchanged “Fuck you” more times then “I love you”. My breath got heavier and my moans got louder. I’d always meant the “I love you” more then the “Fuck you”. 

“Come on pretty girl, come for me.” The strokes and rubs of my clit and insides got more intense as his mouth nibbled at my earlobe, “I know you missed it.”

“S-shit!” And like that, I let go. I gave him what we both wanted too badly for our own good. 

He got up first. I tried not to look as he dressed himself, but I couldn’t help it. He manipulated all of my senses, vision included. My eyes couldn’t leave him and he smiled when he noticed my shy stare. 

“I was surprised when you said Hi last night.” He said, absent mindedly zipping his fly. 

“It would’ve been weird if I didn’t.” I responded, forcing myself to say it plainly. 

“Not really, all things considered.” He rummaged through still unpacked boxes, “You need a shirt?” It was cheeky and unappreciated, but I still took the offer. 

It was brown and striped, a personal favorite back in the days of cuddlefucking and PDAs in front of all of our friends. This boy was too clever. He tossed it to me before putting on his own and laying back down. I shimmied the shirt on. It smelled like his detergent and the butterflies in my stomach were having a field day. 

“I uh--I annotated the first lecture if you want it.” The sentence coming from him was uncharacteristically low pitched. He’d run out of things he could say without one or both of us choking up. 

“S-sure.” I nodded, “That’d be help-” 

There was a pounding on the door, and instantly in my chest. 

“C’mon Gube! It’s first Saturday back! We got Bloody Mary’s and chicken wings calling our mothafuckin’ names!” It was Danny. Matthew’s best friend, my dormmates friend, all of my friend’s friend, and obviously, MY friend. It was the worst possible person to be knocking on the door right now.

“Gubler, you bitch!” He laughed, “I know you’re in there man.” 

I was silent as a mouse. We could play this off. He’ll leave eventually. 

“Well motherfucker, I’m coming in! Rick gave me his key. Hide your dick if you’re jacking it!” 

Fuckin’ Rick. His dormmate. Didn’t know much about him other then he had good weed and definitely was not here last night. 

I was frozen in fear and Matthew’s hands wiped his face and then didn’t leave. They were trying to hide a smile. I was absolutely horrified and he was slightly amused. One word. Typical. 

“Holy. Fucking. Shit.” Danny’s jaw had swung open when he entered the room and saw what was happening. 

His best friend and the ex-girlfriend he’d probably, no definitely, proclaimed extreme hatred for were sharing a bed and clothes on a Saturday morning. 

“So like.... is it exactly what it looks like?” Danny tried and failed miserably to stifle his laugh when he saw my face. 

“Shut your fucking mouth and get out.” I practically screamed. Thankfully, he listened. 

I was seething. At myself, at Matthew and at fucking Danny for being such a goddamn jackass. 

“Hey..” Matthew rushed to calm me down but I hissed at him before he could touch me. 

I launched myself out of bed and scrambled to get my things. “Phone, keys, wallet...what am I missing?” I muttered to my stupid, hungover, fucking mentally exhausted brain. I was answered with shimmery fabric peeking from behind a sheet. “Dress.” 

“Here.” Matthew threw me some basketball shorts. I didn’t thank him. 

Without a word, I was out the door. Fuck. 

-----------------------

The walk back to my dorm was pitiful. I scurried down the halls with dress and heels in hand, in clothes that were so evidently not mine, receiving mixed looks I didn’t have the brain capacity to decipher. I just wanted to cry.

I laid down in my freshly unpacked dorm, and there were two very distinct scents. My dorm mate Lo’s soy linen candles and my regret. 

This kind of regret was laced with confusion and animosity and anger, and as much as I wanted to ignore it, there was a growing feeling of longing. Longing for Matthew and the way those skinny ass arms felt wrapped around my waist. 

I couldn’t think about it for too long though, because Lo and her girlfriend, Jen were now in the doorway. Donuts and coffee in hand. God didn’t hate me so much after all.

“Give me one, right now.” I snatched a chocolate glaze from the box. 

“You good?” Lo laughed and Jen gave me a look. 

Shoving the donut into my face, I figured the best way to do this was bluntly. Danny was going to tell them within the hour anyway. Swallowing, I started rambling immediately. “I fucked Gubler last night.” I took another bite and kept talking with my mouth full, “Woke up and--Shit.” Sprinkles were falling everywhere. “He fucked me again.” I opened my eyes wide, “With his fingers.” I sighed, “They’re so long and--” 

“Do NOT finish that sentence.” Lo interrupted. “Girl, why?” 

“You think I fucking know why?” I threw myself back on my bed. “I barely remember what happened last night. All I know is where I woke up.” 

“You’re fucked kiddo,” Jen said patting my head. “You get your bag, babe?” she asked Lo. 

“Yeah,” Lo came out the closet and gave me a kiss on the forehead, “Sleep well my child.” 

They were gone and so was my ability to not let tears stream down my face.  There was a light knock on my door. If it was Matthew I think I would scream. 

-----------------

Thank you for reading. 

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

[theocanread]

A MAP OF DAYS- MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN

Page 89, chapter 3

YES JACOB, GO STUPID. GO APE. GET PISSED. SCREAM. GET UNREASONABLY ANGRY AND SAY THINGS YOU DON’T MEAN. I SUPPORT. This fucking guy, that’s such a moment honestly. He cursed?? In the presence of Miss P?? Amazing. Iconic. Go hog wild. Sometimes I don’t like protagonist characters, but Jacob? He is very honest, very true, and very good. He is angry and IT IS VALID.

We love Millard’s invisible chaos and blatant autism coding. He wins so hard. Thanks for teaching me the word “svelte” I will never use it XOXO

Horace is such a male wife. AND HE DRESSED MILLARD WHICH IS GREAT. The outfit described? Iconic. AND HORACE’S BEACH OUTFIT? GAH, it sounds perfect. It was described as preppy, which fits. And he hates denim, which is so accurate to his character. 10/10

Enoch, my beloved. Get out of the trunk, silly! Oml what are you doing in there, Enoch!! Enoch get out! “Sweepy sweep” Enoch you dork!! Hush funny lad! ….in all seriousness he’s a little shit and I’m living for it. He was always my favorite character, but I think he’s taken a step up. He feels less disconnected from the group, more of a friend to Jacob than a rival. He’s just an ass in general, and it’s been quite entertaining thus far. The fact he could do the bare minimum and everyone would be like “wow, Enoch! Great job! We’re so proud!” Is frankly, entertaining. I’ve started to be “GRRR BARK BARK BARK I HATE YOU” in the way that also means “xoxo, my favorite character. Your relatability factor is off the charts and I pay attention to your existence”

Also everyone being confused and upset about not being allowed to commit murder or steal killed me. Maybe it was mostly that I was reading it in class and if I laughed people would be confused, but I had to try very hard several times in the last 50 pages not to look weird in my art class. (I would look weird because I have no friends there and I’m mostly silent in that class)

Fiona is not dead. I refuse. ALSO LET THEM GO SHOPPING I GOT SO EXCITED. LET THEM SHOP FOR CLOTHES PLEASE THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. LET THEM GO TO SCHOOL. IVE HAD 3 BOOKS OF INSANITY, PLEASE I WANNA SEE THEM EXIST AND DO MODERN THINGS. JACOB HAD TO ADJUST, DONT JUST TALK ABOUT TEACHING THE PECULIARS TO BE NORMAL, RANSOM RIGGS YOU TEASE. Someone make Horace wear denim and then immediately set him free if he has sensory issues. Please <3

UPDATE PAGE 91

ENOCH NO NO NO DONT NO ENOCH. YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE JACOB TACKLED IN THE LAST BOOK ALONE. HES GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS. SHUT YOUR MOUTH IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU. HE JUST CURSED AT MISS PEREGRINE. HE IS READY TO DISOWN HIS PARENTS. HE JUST REVISITED THE TRAUMATIC EVENT OF HIS GRANDFATHER’S DEATH. HE IS UNSTABLE AND WILL KILL YOU. I’m dramatizing this, but I’m very ready to watch a fight unfold between Enoch who was established to be 5’3 in book one and Jacob is established to be taller than that. Go Jacob, sorry Enoch.

Page 92

….or Bronwyn could stop him…yeah that’s probably for the best.

Page 92, but a few inches down

YES PUT HIM IN TIMEOUT. HES BEEN BAD. PUT HIM IN A CUP, EVEN. BAD ENOCH.

[lovelyirony]

Hi! “If I fail, I’ll fall apart/Maybe it is all a test/because I feel like I’m the worst / so I always act like I’m the best” -Oh No! This is one of my favorite lyrics ever, and I'd really like to see what you bring out of it :) You're amazing, ily! 💞

what if maria had more of an effect on tony’s upbringing than most? howard’s still a dick but make it funny

Tony has known he was probably not the best human on earth ever since he was five and his dad made a bigger deal out of a dead man’s birthday than his own. 

At age five, you don’t really know a lot about the world yet. There were about two things that Tony didn’t know that he wishes he did know: 

1.) The word “fuck.” It would have helped with a lot of his situations. 

2.) The concept of jealousy. He probably could have gone to a child therapist or some shit, he’s not sure if those even existed back then, or if his parents would have even let him go. 

(After all, he’s supposed to be their perfect little boy, just the right amount of precocious and the other amount being something like genius or respectability.) 

It is actually his mother who takes the reins on his life. Howard has effect, he has huge effects. 

Maria is a socialite who absolutely refuses to let her son succumb to Howard’s devil-may-care attitude that he’s so infamous for. Her son is going to be well-mannered, respectable, and know exactly how to treat a lady of high social standing. 

This involves training at a young age. Six would be a fine age. 

It’s not Howard who sends him to boarding schools, it’s Maria. She ensures that he goes to the finest schools available, most abroad in Europe. She trains him out of the American accent, into something a bit more refined. 

He spends summers learning different languages and different skills. He learns how to fence by the time he’s ten, and becomes quite proficient at it. 

She quizzes him on established families, up-and-coming families, and never keeps him far from her sight. 

Anthony Stark is not going to be a wild-child, she decides. 

-

Anthony isn’t, for the most part. Sure, he usually stays up past what is acceptable for the night to work on some mechanic stuff and uses the word “damn” a bit too much for his mother’s liking, but that’s the reason make-up and apologies were invented. 

He follows rules and is known to smile like his mother and enjoy listening to quartets play out in the open air during the summer months. He travels to Europe and participates in various activities and is the talk of many socialites who eagerly await his arrival. 

He’s a portrait, holding still for all’s approval, and he’s not quite sure how to move. 

That’s troublesome, he thinks. 

The problem is this: Anthony Stark doesn’t have any interests outside what is required. He loves working on inventions, and they are necessary for the company to survive, but his father hates any robotic invention he pushes for, and mother thinks that if he tells people he’s rather fond of AC/DC then he’s a plague to society and will be shunned. 

(He doesn’t say it to her face but they haven’t shunned Sunset yet, and she’s a whole world of problems, so rock music is the least of their problems.) 

There is one thing that he pushes for: university in the United States. He’s been traveling to Europe since he was a child, and he honestly needs to do something for himself. 

Maria is not pleased. 

“So after I sacrifice so much for you, this is how you repay me?” she asks him over dinner. 

He places his fork to the correct side. 

“Yes. This is how I am repaying you. By getting a perfectly respectable college degree from a critically-acclaimed university that anyone would be lucky to attend. Not to mention it might reflect badly on Stark Industries if I don’t go to an American college. Do I not trust American institutions to run an American business?” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

Anthony laughs. 

“Mother, they cannot teach me anything that Europe can’t. Let me go to college in the United States. Please.” 

“No.” 

- 

It takes Howard to convince her, and a.) Howard doesn’t even like Anthony that much, and b.) he also doesn’t like his wife that much. 

“He’s going to a damned college here, Maria. We don’t need him to go to any more of that fancy bullshit you call school over there.” 

“Fancy bullshit, Howard?! Bullshit?! You mean what has gotten him this far in life and will make him a better man of social standing than you?” 

“My god, is social standing all that matters to you? What are your little friends going to do, choke on their silver spoons when they find out that your son is going to an American college?” 

- 

Jarvis also convinces her. 

“It will be easier to monitor his progress from a shorter distance,” he advises. “And you can visit frequently.” 

Anthony gives him a very dirty look. Apparently, he wasn’t supposed to mention that. 

Oops. 

-

But, Anthony gets his way. He’s going to MIT, and he has a roommate. 

(Okay, so mother doesn’t know that. But he supposes she will if she ever visits. Or maybe not considering if Tony can successfully convince his roommate to “disappear” for at least a day.) 

-

Rhodey does not give a singular shit about high society anything or anyone. Anthony Stark is a name he registers, but doesn’t recognize. 

“Anthony’s a mouthful,” he says a week into their cohabitation. “You have a nickname or something?” 

“Ah...no? I mean, not yet,” Anthony says. 

“How do you feel about Tony?” 

“I...I suppose that that is alright.” 

“Are you from Europe?” 

“No, from New York.” 

“Well holy shit, you sure as fuck don’t sound like it.” 

- 

Anthony--well, Tony now--learns quite a bit about American schooling and what he’s actually supposed to be doing to pass off as normal. 

Rhodey (yeah he got a nickname that ended in ‘y’ too, Tony said he wouldn’t be the only one) takes him to the thrift store and tells him to pick out some clothes. 

“...there’s a shirt that’s advertising a restaurant from Montana.” 

“And? Does it look hilarious?” 

“Is that the point of this?” 

“Fashion is supposed to make you like what you’re wearing or like yourself. I swear if you say that those boring black suits make you feel better about yourself, I will be dragging you to any therapist that will take us for at least five dollars.” 

“Five dollars?” 

“Maybe less if I can negotiate.” 

“Hey!” 

- 

Tony learns how to have fun. He loves it. 

Rhodey makes him go to record stores and find the bargain bin, and they play the warped records and laugh as voices go up and down in pitch. Tony blasts Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden until the RA begs him to go to bed and Rhodey throws all of his pillows off of his bed. 

In return, Tony teaches Rhodey how to read other’s facial expressions, dress for any occasion and be the best-looking there, as well as avoiding any sort of conflict by bringing up past embarrassments. 

“Are you serious about the color of my shoe affecting my social standing?” Rhodey asks, trying to shove his foot into a shoe that was a brown color that Tony had described as a “golden mahogany.” 

“Yes, I’m dead serious.” 

“No fucking wonder everyone says eat the rich all of you are so fucking pretentious. It’s brown, Tony.” 

“Tell that to any high society woman over fifty.” 

“I will.” 

- 

As it turns out, he ends up doing it much sooner than anticipated. 

Tony’s parents come to visit. 

They call him Anthony. Which is gross. Rhodey hasn’t used the name “Anthony” in about six months. 

“I wasn’t aware that you were his roommate,” his mother says. 

“Well, here I am,” Rhodey says. “Name’s also on the information they sent out to the parents about the living situations.” 

Tony tenses as his parents brush off the obvious comment on how little they actually know about his situation and move right into the room. 

Maria stops at the huge poster of a rock band. 

“I assume that this is...James’?” 

“No,” he says timidly. “It’s...it’s mine. Their use of movement on the guitar strings-” 

“Take it down,” Maria demands. “It’s unsightly.” 

“Oh give the kid a break,” Howard says tiredly. “For once he’s not listening to you talk about the merits of paisley prints.” 

“I’m training our son for a more successful life than yours,” Maria hisses. “Of course, you’d have to stay away from your friend Jack to understand that.” 

“Rhodey, leave,” Tony says. “Trust me, it gets messier from here.” 

He does think about it. How easy it would be to walk out and check in with a couple of his other friends and talk about how crazy Tony’s parents are. How he could check back in near dinner time and then Tony could tell him all about how terribly it went. 

But Tony already looks terrible, and he’s doing that weird thing with his hands where he wrings them and then remembers he’s not supposed to wring them and makes it worse. 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I am staying until the bitter end. Who knows? Maybe I can give your mom a heart attack when I ask her the difference between kelly and forest green.” 

Tony grins. 

“You can leave any time, it’s about to get...interesting.” 

- 

Tony’s family is quite dysfunctional. They can put on a good front in public, for what it’s worth. 

Howard is impressed that Rhodey’s planning on going into the Air Force and then talks about Captain America for a lot of the dinner. Rhodey is very uncomfortable and then asks about business and Maria rolls her eyes and orders another glass of wine. 

After Howard finishes up talking about some contract and making vague threats against businesses that Rhodey thinks might actually be in trouble, it’s Maria’s turn. 

“So, Rhodey, where is your family from?” 

“We live in the Boston area,” Rhodey answers. 

“And what do your parents do?” 

“Dad works as a consultant for a local construction company, and my mom works as a high school history teacher. They both like their jobs.” 

“Hm,” Maria remarks, and it’s so light and casual and yet so cutting. Tony can see how Rhodey squirms, and he can’t just let it stand. 

It’s one thing for Maria to cut her own son down until he’s nothing. Still fucked up, but Tony can handle it. He’s been handling it for years. 

“Rhodey, how did your mom come to want to know she liked teaching?” Tony asks. “That sounds like it could be really hard to figure out.” 

“Oh, well it all started when she was in high school and wanted to change how one of her teachers treated students. It was a really inspiring moment for her.” 

“That sounds really cool,” Tony says. “What does she like most about her job?” 

“Probably the kids,” Rhodey says. 

The conversation carries on about Rhodey’s family until their dinner arrives and his mother manages to cut in with more questions. 

“So, what else does your mother do?” 

“She volunteers at the local food kitchen and helps some of the younger kids at the after-school program,” Rhodey answers. “She also makes a mean Thanksgiving turkey.” 

“Would you look at that,” Tony says. “Mrs. Rhodes sounds like a fine cook, I wish I could say the same for you, mother.” 

“Oh?” 

Howard actually laughs at that as he signs for the bill. 

“The kid is right, Maria. At some points I think your kitchen is only used for decoration.” 

“Oh, and you know how to cook, Mr. Stark?” Maria asks, raising her eyebrows. “I’d love to see you make anything other than coffee.” 

“I’ll make toast.” 

Rhodey laughs, and so does Tony. 

“Ready to go?” Tony asks, and part of it is a way to get away from an isolated conversation, and part of it is to make his parents leave for their hotel room sooner. 

“Tony, I want to have a talk with you before we retire for the night,” Maria says, and Tony tenses up. 

Rhodey can’t protect him from that, and he squeezes Tony’s hand as they walk behind his parents. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers. 

“Maybe,” Tony says. “Maybe.” 

- 

Rhodey goes into their building, and Howard waits in the car. He nods to Tony on his way out. 

“You’ve...changed,” mother says. 

“Well, that’s how humanity goes,” Tony says dryly, looking anywhere but her eyes. 

“Rock music? These snappish remarks towards your own mother? I don’t know if this college was such a good idea.” 

“It is,” Tony says. “I just...learned new things and incorporated it into my life. Nothing the matter with that.” 

“Nothing wrong with that?” Maria reiterates, surprised look on her face. “Rock music is for other people, you know things that others don’t know! You can perform violin and piano, you don’t have to listen to the personal manifestation of a headache!” 

“And if I like that headache?!” Tony asks. “If I like something that’s outside of what you approve, why so angry about it? Is it because you finally can’t control every single aspect about my identity? Is it because I’m not like your perfect little toy that you can make walk and talk how you like?” 

“You know it’s not that.” 

“Isn’t it?” Tony asks. “Because you want me to change every single interest that I’ve found I like by myself. I bet you want me to listen to Bach for fun.” 

“I do not want you to change from who you are,” Maria says. “You have eaten at the finest restaurants in the world and now you brag about making something called ramen in a microwave. A microwave?!” 

“A surprising amount of families in America have them,” Tony says. “And I’m a college student! I’m supposed to eat crappy food and then laugh about it in twenty years!” 

Maria turns red, and her lips screw up into a tight line. 

“I don’t think you should be here,” Maria says. “You’re forgetting your place. Your roommate is...” 

“My roommate is what,” Tony starts, glaring at her. “My roommate is what, mother? You want to honestly finish that sentence?” 

“He’s not good enough!” she yells at him. “You are a Stark!” 

Tony stares at her for a moment. And then another moment. 

“Leave,” he says. “Get the hell out of here.” 

“You don’t tell me-” 

“I do,” Tony says, using his full height to his advantage. “You can tell me how many times I’ve fucked up as many times as you want, but you never talk about James that way ever again.” 

He twists on his heel, forcefully opening the door to the dormitory and not once looking back. 

- 

Rhodey finds Tony back in his room when he gets back from getting ready for the night, and Tony is clutching a pillow and laying face down on the bed. 

“You know, you’ll have to turn over eventually to get some fresh air.” 

“Leave me to die, Rhodey. Oh my god.” 

“That bad?” 

“That bad. She’s probably going to try and put me in a prestigious college or some shit.” 

“Oof. Wanna fake your death and run away?” 

“Please.” 

“Well, too bad. I have a test next week, and you need to do your poetry notes.” 

“But poetry sucks.” 

“It only sucks because you don’t like modern poetry, suck it up and pull it out of your ass or something.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

- 

Maria is trying very hard to get her son away from MIT and towards a fancy school in Europe. She doesn’t even care where, just away from his roommate and his classic rock posters and the dormitory. Anthony needs an environment where he can focus on networking, meeting more people. 

Howard says no. 

He can’t even bother to remember her son’s birthday, and he says “no.” 

“We need Anthony to go to an American school, and nothing is better besides maybe Cal Tech, and he’ll have to finish another year of college and Hammer Industries can use that as a sign of an unsteady heir.” 

“Well then get rid of his roommate.” 

“I’m not doing that, you’re asking for a PR death sentence.” 

“He’s a bad influence.” 

“No he’s not,” Howard says tiredly. “The kid is finally standing up for himself, and you hate that.” 

“I don’t hate that he can be his own person.” 

“You just wish he were his own person under your specifications,” Howard drawls. “He’s staying at MIT, that’s final.” 

“Hmph.” 

Howard rolls his eyes. 

“Go back to planning whatever charity gala you’re hosting this week, honey. I’m sure things will be fine.” 

Maria doesn’t speak against her husband, just fumes and decides she’s going to try to get Jarvis’ opinion. 

-

Edwin is also a flat no. 

“He will not forgive you if you do this,” he says, pouring her tea and adding in one sugar cube. “He loves his school, he talks about it all the time.” 

“And what, he calls you?” 

Edwin Jarvis realizes he shouldn’t have mentioned this. 

“At times, madam. At times. Will that be all?” 

“...that will be all.” 

Jarvis does bring up a good point. Besides her, of course, he knows Anthony best, even if he does keep calling him Tony. Anthony will grow out of that nickname soon enough. 

She has hope for her boy. He will most likely grow out of this silly little phase in life and finally appreciate her lessons. 

- 

Tony Stark doesn’t. 

Well, he learns her lessons. Can appreciate some of them and how much he hates that he uses them. 

But he learns a far more important lesson from Rhodey, and it shapes everything: 

“You’re your own person, and you’re far better as your own person,” Rhodey says. “I wanted to kick the shit out of you when we first lived together.” 

“You did?” 

“Of course I did!” Rhodey explains, gesturing with his coffee mug and getting yet another stain on the pillow. (Laundry again. Ugh.) “You talked like you were from a movie from the forties, it sucked.” 

“Oh, you mean the transatlantic accent?” 

“It’s pretentious, just ditch it. You’re interesting enough to listen to on your own. I listen to you talk about how much you hate Picasso sculpture, don’t I?” 

“You do,” Tony admits. 

“So then be yourself. Use what your mom taught you sometimes, but otherwise don’t.” 

“You sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure, I’m a fucking genius.” 

Tony snorts. 

“Okay, Mr. ‘I Forgot to Run the Dishes Again.’”

“I already said I was sorry!” 

-

Tony takes Rhodey’s advice into account when he walks into any board room. He wears the worst possible shoes with every single suit, usually uses all sorts of cultural references that fly over the old board members’ heads. 

He does things his way. It’s unconventional, it’s unpredictable, and it earns him a reputation. 

He’s in an interview in a suit and patterned tie (patterned with tiny robots), and the woman is smiling in a plastic way on the other side. 

“Now, a lot of people are saying you’re taking the business world by storm with your unconventional methods and personality. What helped you formulate this, your father?” 

“Oh god no,” Tony says, laughing. “He’d probably curse me to hell and back for even wearing this tie. My mother would drag me back down to hell again for this.” 

“Then who helped you with this?” 

“Rhodey, who else?” Tony asks. “He always gives the best advice, even if I’ll deny that about fifteen minutes later. He really is the reason that I’m who I am today.” 

“Seems like a great guy.” 

“He is. He always is,” Tony says with a grin. “Except, of course, when he doesn’t fold his laundry, that bastard.” 

The interviewer laughs and moves on, but Tony smiles to himself. 

He doesn’t have to be the best, he just has to be Rhodey’s. That’s all that matters.