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wildstar25 · 5 months ago

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I.4: Did any of them try to resist their feelings?

and

II.1: Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

Future Lia here saying: Oh god I really didn't mean to write all this it just kinda happened I'm so sorry. I have no excuse other than I've obviously thought so much about all these individual instances so much that I couldn't get my brain to stop. I'm very unwell about the blorbos and completely lost the plot lol.

Did any of them try to resist their feelings?

Arsay & G'raha part 1:

Literally the entirety of Crystal Tower was these two losers (Arsay and G'raha) obviously catching feelings for each other and then getting in their own way about ( I have a bullet point run down of their events here). G'raha over thought himself out of ever saying anything to Arsay and then got blasted with the 'this is your destiny' beam. Meanwhile when Arsay was ready to make baby steps, the timing just didn't work out for her 🙃

Y'shtola:

I hc that Shtola started crushing on Arsay far before Arsay ever realized her feelings for her friend. Y'shtola wasnt really in the scions to make new friends yet Arsay, for many reasons, managed to worm her way into Shtola's heart. They were really close by the end of heavensward. The road trip through to the Hinterlands gave them a lot of bonding time in particular and feelings began creeping in. At the end of 4.3 when Y'shtola heads off to Doma, I have this whole extra bit in the story about Arsay accompanying her to Kugane and them spending a day going around the town at Arsay's insistence. It was basically a date and by that point Y'shtola realized just how bad she had it for Arsay. Still she kept her feelings to herself. Her investigations, the safety of the star, things of this nature would always come first for Y'shtola. (Queue Y'shtola singing I wont say I'm in love) A part of her hoped she could will herself past this terrible crush, especially during those three years apart in the first. Unfortunately distance only made her heart grow fonder.

Arsay & Y'shtola:

It took Arsay a really long time to realized that her totally normal feelings to have for her friend Y'shtola were, in fact, not normal and she had been trying to convince herself of otherwise for quite some time. It took Arsay getting basically beaten over the head with her own overwhelming feelings to figure this out though: From being so excited to see Y'shtola again in SHB, being heartbroken to the point of snapping when Arsay thought Y'shtola didn't recognize her (beyond relieved when that wasn't the case), getting unbelievably shaken when she thought she lost her best friend again, feeling stupidly jealous seeing her in Runar's arms, making a fool of herself trying to then lift Y'shtola up as well.... Things clicked when Arsay overheard Y'shtola fret over her safety to Urianger. Arsay just took a moment to reflect on how kind Y'shtola really is and how much she loved her- loved that about her. love her? why would Arsay think that? Ah. Shit, it's because she loved Y'shtola. And she figured this out at maybe the worse time? As the crew journeyed back to the Crystarium from Rak'tika Arsay fails to be chill about her revelation. She goes off on her own for a bit to cool down and prepares to bottle up all these inconvenient feelings only find out that Urianger followed her. The two have a semi-honest heart to heart. Beyond Arsay's gut reaction of "Who am I to worry about my love life, now of all times, when we have worlds to save?", she expressed the one crippling fear now plaguing her mind: loss. So long as Arsay continued to walk the heroic adventurer's path, those who walked with her were sure to be at risk. She had the experience to back her fears up too. Those deaths still weighed heavy on her no matter how much she tried to push those memories back. Plus it's been now two close calls for Y'shtola; what if the third time they aren't so lucky? Arsay couldn't handle another friend dying in front of her let alone a lover. There too is the possibility of Arsay dying and leaving poor Y'shtola alone and heartbroken. Inflicting such pain on someone so dear to her would be unthinkable. So, Arsay argued, by keeping her romantic feelings to herself she'd save them both from future hurt. Urianger in his most poetic prose somehow convinced Arsay that the regret and leaving things left unsaid was a pain far worse and longer lasting than simple grief. Arsay knew this of course. He also adds that Y'shtola would likely resent Arsay for withholding such important information from her. Arsay agreed. Finally, the elezen puts forth a hypothesis of his: That Y'shtola could very well be thinking and feeling the same things as Arsay has. After all, the two of them were shockingly alike at times. The idea that Y'shtola liked her back made Arsay's heart skip a beat. Maybe Arsay could embrace these feelings of hers. Love is a good feeling. She can let herself feel that and be okay. The inevitable hurt that's sure to follow is not something Arsay has to consider right now so it's fine. Yeah. It'll be okay.

Arsay & G'raha Part 2:

When Arsay's suspicions where confirmed and it was clear to her exactly who the Crystal Exarch was a pit formed at the bottom of her stomach. She had Y'shtola now, so why did those feelings from moons ago still have a vice grip on her heart? Arsay felt terrible, both physically and mentally. Selfish and disgusted. Guilt plagued her as they ascended Mt. Gulg and even more so as they descended into the Tempest. Everyone could tell Arsay was not at her best. She had to dedicate all of her energy keeping herself together through the light poisoning so it was no wonder that Arsay was unable to maintain her usual mask. They had to search the ocean floor for something and everyone broke off into teams. Y'shtola paired off with Arsay. Y'shtola, with her kind heart and inquisitive nature, pressed the subject while they were secluded from the rest of the group. Why did Arsay know the Exarch's name? What history did him and her have together? Most importantly, why hasn't Arsay been able to look her girlfriend in the eyes for the past two days? Like most of her problems, Arsay wanted to hide her feelings for G'raha away and pretend like it never happened. She wanted to be happy with Y'shtola. She was happy with Y'shtola. Arsay loved and respected Y'shtola so much so that Arsay wouldn't dare lie to her. She couldn't bring herself to say in plain words that she held a flame for the currently endangered Exarch; but she didn't need to. Y'shtola was far too bright to not pick up on the subtext. What Arsay did choose to say clearly was that Y'shtola will forever be in her heart; and though she felt like she had no right to, she asked that Y'shtola forgive how large said heart ended up being.

The Crystal Exarch:

I've written about this before here -> but surmise to say, the Exarch felt so undeserving of his hero's affection and too self conscious of himself that he could not put his all into the relationship. He should count himself lucky that Arsay was so hopelessly in love with him tbh. And yes, even though he really really wanted to, not once would he let himself go any farther with her than making out. (much to Arsay's dismay)

Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

ArShtola

Arsay, bolstered by a pep talk from Urianger and ready to make that terrifying leap, opted to confess her feelings to Y'shtola the night they returned to the Crystarium after travelling from Rak'tika. Arsay had never confessed anything of this magnitude before but she had to get it out there as soon as she could lest she loose her confidence and the perils of their adventures tear them apart. I have a cringe but free fic with gposes here ->

GrahArsay/GrahArShtola

It took time for Y'shtola to respond to Arsay's story about her and the Exarch. Their was so much pain in the keeper's voice as she mentioned how things ended up. So much that it struck even Y'shtola's heart. Seeing the one she loved carry such hurt was saddening, yes, but the sting the seeker felt was for her own sake. A little over three years Y'shtola pined over her friend and now after less than two weeks together Arsay drops a bombshell like this on her. To a degree, Y'shtola felt as if she'd been betrayed. Having finally given in to opening up to someone only to feel like she's been toyed around with and been made a fool. She had wanted to lash out then and there but successfully locating the Ondo ruins thankfully stopped her. Y'shtola had taken the rest of their deep sea mission to step back and mull things over. Arsay was practically falling apart in front of her. If this was to be the end for her beloved the last thing Y'shtola should do is add another nail into her looming coffin. For as difficult as her Warrior of Light may be at times there is no denying how much happiness she's brought into Y'shtola's life. Y'shtola sought only to bring her the same happiness in turn. And for all that Arsay's done for the world she deserves the freedom to go after what she wants. Y'shtola would not be the one to bar her from that. However, she had no intention of letting what that she desired go so easily. Y'shtola would not allow herself to be made an embarrassment in this situation. A solution found its way to the forefront of her mind. A bit unconventional outside of tribal life mind you, perhaps a wholly unfamiliar concept for a stranger to their own culture like her dear was, but a non-monogamous partnership could just work. At the very least Y'shtola was willing to try. In her words, Arsay's heart might very well be larger than they both expected but it was still the same heart that Y'shtola fell for. The same heart she continues to love despite the hurt it caused her. The same heart she puts her unwavering trust in. So, just as what could be their final trial stood in front of them, Y'shtola pulled Arsay in close. Her aether was blinding, spilling out from all sides in a monstrous form. Still Y'shtola locked eyes with Arsay. She dare not look away. Y'shtola needed Arsay to see only her in this short moment. Should they make it through this they can talk about the logistics later. Y'shtola's trust in the Exarch was frail at best but if Arsay trusted him he surely wasn't all that malicious. For now Y'shtola wanted only to ease Arsay's soul and focus her mind. There was no anger or resentment between them. They will fight this battle and rescue this G'raha Tia together, side by side. Now and forever, Arsay is loved and is free to love.

... A celebration was held in the Crystarium upon their return with the Exarch. It was a joyous affair for all and lasted long into the night. Noticing G'raha had sneaked away from the crowd, Y'shtola once again expressed her blessings for Arsay to chase after him. That she did and can be read here ->

#graharshtola #arsay nun #arsay nun lore #im sorry really about all this #i think about how they were in shadowbringers and its like I need to catalogue every moment of it or I go insane #you have to understand #anyways i tried my best to proof my own work but im not that good at it so sorry if things are badly written #anyways Y'shtola is pretty much the GOAT for letting things happen the way that they did

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