#you know what i mean - idk maybe that's the academic writer in me

[messrsrobyn]

for your anon concerned about tokenism which is a very important thing, it truly is. but what made me go easy on myself was realizing that fanfic is kinda not the place people should go for when looking for rep? now let me explain. it’s not that fics shouldn’t have rep, or that fic writers are exempted from having to incorporate it, because i don’t think it’s neither here and there. that’s not the argument we should be having. we should have rep in proper media, in things that actually make an impact in the world. that’s where the rep should happen and we should advocate for that etc etc. we also should be mindful of what we consume and how we do it and see if we only engage with cishet westernized stuff. but aside from that, if people are demanding from fic writers those things it’s kinda weird to me. like, my dude, you love the whitest, most cishet work of all times and that’s fine with you, but this random writer from xique xique bahia (brazilians will understand my joke) has to know all the intricacies of being a teen in the 70s in wales? or else they’re not doing a good work? like, maybe…! go read books that are diverse and engage in those fandoms too. a lot of HC are just like that anon said, so widely spread that just makes sense. desi harry is very dear to me. even if i also vibe with latino james. idk man, i think we can call off straight up problematic stuff. racist stuff. but if you go into fics trying to be educated maybe open a proper book and like, don’t expect fics to be a manifesto? i just want to see gay people kissing. and i think that’s the gist of it, i read books, i study, i educate myself so when i go into fanfiction im expecting to have a good time. i can also find amazing political stuff in it, but i don’t demand an academic work from writers. but some people are so braindead nowadays that the thought of actually opening a book and studying it too time consuming. so, anyways, yes please don’t be racist don’t be weird don’t be creepy, but also guys, maybe y’all should take fanfic less seriously and engage with other things outside of fandom.

I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF ‼️‼️‼️

the beauty of fanfiction is how chill it is !!! which is something that's been lost recently with all the moral debates (noisy jegulus haters, i'm looking at you and frowning) !!!

i'm doing a lit + pol degree, and that really shows the difference for me. yes, whilst i read these works for university i'm picking apart everything, i'm cross-referencing it with the politics of the time and how they've developed, at the back of my mind i've always got this idea of representation.

i don't with fanfiction. because that's not the point.

fanfiction is the a FREE and OPEN resource. we don't have to worry about whether publication companies find value in our ideas, we don't have to worry about whether our words hold as much worth as others. we just Write.

people get too concerned with the morality of fanfic, they expect perfection from people Doing A Hobby. and i get it, i get where frustrations come from, but at the end of the day this is a bit of fun.

and yes, diversity is SO important but at the end of the day, fanfiction is already the most diverse form of media out there. if you want deeper explorations, either write them, or take your frustrations out on the core material that fandoms are derived from. take your frustrations out on the fact that we have to add diversity to fandom spaces because it's not in original media.

fanfiction is fun, it's a hobby and i am getting So So So tired of people nitpicking and deciding what words have worth when that's the exact reason i criticise official publishers.

BONUS YAP: "i think that big authors needs to step up and-" NO ‼️‼️‼️ just because they have more hits does not mean fandom etiquette doesn't apply. just because their works have more kudos does not mean they owe anything !! maybe stop putting people who are Having Fun with a Hobby on a pedestal to be your moral light.

IT'S ALL SO FRUSTRATING IM SORRY. every time i open tiktok it takes a year off my life because it's not even FUN anymore 😭 why are we policing everything

[cookinguptales]

Excited to see that you watched vampterview! You always have such fun and interesting commentary on stuff. No pressure of course but I'd look forward to any Sarah takes you might have on it 👀

Who knows? Maybe! I'm about to go on a three-week road trip, but we'll see how much time I have!

I'm still digesting a bit, I'll admit, and I really don't know what's already been discussed to death in the fandom. Personally, my academic interests were always really focused on stories, how we tell them, how we internalize them, and how we can't help but put ourselves, our experiences, and our biases into our retellings of them. To be loved is to be changed when memories of us live in the hearts of others, y'know?

So... I'd say that I was really interested in the ways they played with unreliable narrators in the series. How the concept of the sanctity of primary sources was really dismantled. Because they were all primary sources and they were all telling completely different stories! Whether it was due to misremembering, bias, or literal mind control, even the written sources simply could not be trusted.

I remember there was this really formative experience for me was when I was 16 years old and taking summer classes at UChicago. I was studying Egyptology there, which meant I was spending a lot of time at the Institute for the Study of Ancient Cultures (formerly the OI) studying and translating the artifacts there.

I don't remember all the details (though I guess I could probably pin down the particulars if I combed through their collections) but I remember seeing two ancient accounts of the same war written by both sides -- and both accounts claimed victory. And, y'know, whether each side had a different definition of victory or whether someone was just straight-up lying... I mean. It brings up the idea of an unreliable narrator on a massive historical scale.

Sometimes, particularly with older historical events, we're only going to have scattered archaeological fragments that we can piece together. Sometimes we have to do a lot of guessing and detective work to come to any conclusion at all. And historically, we have prioritized written accounts over all other forms of evidence. But, y'know... people lie. Or they misremember. Or they misconstrue. Reconstructing history not just through first-person accounts but by looking at other evidence and questioning those accounts is crucial. And even then, we'll probably never find any objective "truth," if objective truth even exists in a situation like that.

So... like, an unreliable narrator is nothing new in media. But framing it through Daniel, who is a nonfiction writer trying to make sense of all of these different testimonies to construct an actual historical narrative... That made it really interesting to me. It wasn't just all of these different vampires stating their truths. It was Daniel trying to sort through all of the misdirection to find out what actually happened. And the show makes it clear that, while he gets close, he'll probably never know all the details for sure. It simply isn't possible.

So IWTV, to me, was a really interesting look at the impossibility of constructing an objective historical narrative, especially when speaking about very old events with few sources. You have mentally ill vampires who are several decades removed from the events in question, you have contemporaneous (but very biased) journal entries, you have newspaper clippings written by journalists who had very little information, you have artifacts that may (or may not!) confirm certain testimonies...

idk. I guess while I do have thoughts about the characters and their motivations, I was more interested in the way that things were framed and presented in the show. I thought that was really neat.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Rachel,

I have a few questions if you don’t mind:

1. How do you get comfortable writing the story of your heart? I’ve been pushing off big story ideas that I want to write so that I can get better at writing. But like what if that’s making me feel less motivated or am I just being annoying about it? Maybe I should just suck it up and practice something easier because I honestly don’t have the skills for a complex novel idea.

2. Do you ever look at other writers progress and process and feel bad about your own? Because I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately and trying to adapt to every writers process is impossible and not fun. But I’m stifled by the fear of doing things wrong even though there’s not really a “wrong” way to write.

3-4. I want to participate in nano but I’m a student so it’s going to be a challenge. Since you also were a student do you have any tips? I’ve heard from others that I should just give up writing while in school and every time it hurts, even though I know they don’t mean me any harm. I just want to know if it’s really impossible. So I guess this really is a 2 part question: Do you have any time management tips for writing as a student and do you have any tips for starting nano for the first time?

Hi hi hi!

1. Tbh, my best advice is just to write what you want. If that’s the hard thing, then go for the hard thing. I skirted around difficult projects thinking I didn’t have the skill set for them but that just led me to never writing them. The truth is you’re always going to be missing something before writing a project—writing is an evolutionary art form for that reason, so it’s intrinsic that we learn and fail as we go.

2. I don’t really feel bad when comparing myself to other writers but this probably is mostly because I generally don’t have negative self-talk anymore (IDK WHERE IT WENT LOL) but you’re absolutely not alone in this feeling (& I know I’ve felt this way in the past). You’ve got it right that there’s no one process, and tbh, the thing you might have to do is just constantly remind yourself of that when writing in order to push through. A lot of the time if writing is sticking for me for a more abstract reason like this I have to grit my teeth and keep reminding myself it’s okay to be imperfect, etc.

3. To be verrrryyy honest with you, I struggled to balance writing & school and while I don’t think you have to give up writing while being a student, something a lot of the times naturally has to give since being a student is so time consuming. Not to be discouraging at all but just as a precursor because I was never able to successfully do NaNo when I was in school (not even in high school) EXCEPT for in 2022, and that was for a couple reasons. Mostly, I just put school on the back burner haha. I’m not recommending this but at that point in my degree I was tired of how I was being treated & not being able to prioritize my own writing & I started to push the boundaries of my academics to see how much I could let go in order to write. This is not something I responsibly recommend, but it’s what I did. I wrote a lot in lectures (….. oops lol) & pulled back a bit on assignments (I still did as well as I typically do which is when I realized for me I could put in less effort into school & get the same results—just MY experience, again not a recommendation).

So I’m not saying it’s impossible but I don’t want to make it seem like I was able to juggle both. I wasn’t lol! I skipped classes, I BS’d assignments & that’s bc school wasn’t my priority anymore (this was 100% best for my mental health & I surprisingly academically performed the best I ever have & also graduated #1 in my faculty BUT I thrive off of chaotic timetables & doing things when I’m not supposed to lol, so again not a recommendation & just context as to how I did it).

Otherwise, a couple things I did: edited late at night when I was too tired to draft & added words through line level edits. Used scene ideas from old books & propagated them into the new book. Prepped a little in advance by drafting (or you could outline) so I knew where I was going. Got ahead by 1k as much as I could. It also helped that I was at the exact right place at the exact right time to do nano (literally got right to the climax at the very end), so a lot of my success I think was also luck.

My biggest tip for starting NaNo for the first time is to be open for your expectations to change & to listen to yourself as you go because a word count isn’t worth your mental health! If you can plan around busy days that can also help too. November was always the worst month for deadlines when I was in school, so if you’re falling behind it’s soooo okay! Have fun with it—NaNo isn’t supposed to be stressful, so if it is it’s okay to amend the goal to suit your lifestyle! :)

[ashinaisshin]

A more direct EN translation of some of Alhaitham’s voice lines in CN

(Note that in order to show the meaning in CN more clearly, some translations might not sound as smooth as the official EN text to stay closer to the CN.)

tl;dr: dude is in general more of a piece of shit in CN (no) LOL

i love he

About the Vision

To be honest, a Dendro Vision isn’t of much help to my research. But I do hit people harder now that I have elemental powers, so it's still useful enough.

[Personal opinion: I really wish the translators had kept his cruder/rougher wording in CN here, instead of making him sound kinda formal with the “settling a physical dispute” “proves useful at times” and all. (There are other lines, including some during the archon quest, where I’ve noticed that the EN translators made him sound more “formal” like this.) Despite the strong “rational/logical” image that he has, in CN Alhaitham rarely uses the kind of “academic” or “smart”-sounding language that one might think he does unless the occasion calls for it, and I find that aspect of his character really charming. Like Alhaitham says himself, “Rather than lacing my words with rhetoric, I prefer speaking factually” – I love hearing his lines because this guy is so good at making sharp, concise comments using his iconic crude and down-to-earth language. The writers really did a fantastic job portraying this smart and badass and hilarious character while intentionally (imo) breaking the stereotype in the use of an “academic” tone.]

About Us: Helping Each Other

You are very capable of taking care of yourself, so much so that you can even look after the companions around you. I don’t have any advice for you, and you most likely don’t need my help.

[Unlike in EN, it’s not very obvious that he is specifically referring to Paimon there in CN. It’s also a general trend that he is more curt/direct in CN, not hedging his statements as much with words like “seem” “frankly” “tend to” etc..]

About Kaveh: Compassion

He shows too much compassion towards everyone and everything. Probably because he is too fragile, he’s always making a fuss over nothing.

[The word choice in CN is more positive. At least “关怀” is a positive word – more along the lines of “compassion/care” – while “sensitive” is a neutral word that could be understood in either way, and probably negative in the context of “overly sensitive”. While Alhaitham is arguably also using some sarcasm in CN, I still think “sensitive” is neither an intuitive nor a fitting translation for 关怀.]

Birthday

Happy birthday. I’ve always thought that people invest an unnecessary amount of enthusiasm into celebrating the day they were born; it’d be more practical to channel that energy into getting more joy out of each day of their lives. You’re doing an alright job with this. I don’t know what kind of gift to get, so I’ll just reserve one pass for you through a special application channel.

[Funnily enough, he is less nice to you on your birthday in CN lol… I appreciate the sheer objectivity in “alright job”, bro Especially the “gift” he prepared for you, in my understanding, the special channel is only effective for once in CN and not permanent as the EN version seems to suggest, LMAO. Alhaitham, you just really don’t want to put extra effort into this huh Idk, maybe the EN translators just wanted to make him sound nicer to the players 😆 I can appreciate it either way though.]

Opening Treasure Chest: I

Hold on to them yourself.

[Aka: I don’t need this stuff. How nice of him.]

Opening Treasure Chest: II

Hurry, it’ll be hard to pick them up once they roll away.

[But he’s also genuinely being such a good (and fourth-wall-breaking-ly helpful) teammate kekw]

Joining Party: II

Let’s do business the business way. / Let’s keep things straight business.

[OK, if all the other discrepancies in translation are mostly just me being nitpicky, this one, I would argue, is a significant mistranslation that almost gets the opposite meaning across. “Let’s get down to business,” in my opinion, makes it sound like Alhaitham feels the need and is potentially quite willing to join the party, while in CN, “公事公办” is an idiom that clearly conveys the meaning that Alhaitham is Not joining you because he wants to/thinks he needs to but rather he’s treating it as Business, as a Job. In JP this line is straight up translated it as “公務に私情は挟まない” – “no personal feelings involved in official business.” In fact, linguistic elegance/cultural factors aside, I feel like for Alhaitham’s voice lines at least, the JP translation in general stays much closer to the CN text compared to EN. Like I mentioned in my last CN/EN comparison post, some EN translations make Alhaitham sound like a leader, while a big part of this dude’s life is just rejecting any and all leadership responsibilities thrown his way.]

---

Some additional translations FYI

More About Alhaitham: IV

Once order is disrupted, the consequences will spread rapidly. I don’t like this; it will get in the way of the life I have right now.

Feelings About Ascension: Conclusion

Can’t let those slackers from the Akademiya know that I’m making progress yet again, otherwise they’ll do everything in their ability to push trouble my way. Of course I won’t accept any of it, but the back-and-forth in communication is always going to waste some (of my) time.

Low HP: III

This will take up more (of my) time.

[citrus-cactus]

For the character ask game - Haru (appmon) 1, 2, 11, 12, 23!

HAAAAAAAARU! THANK YOUUUUU~! <3

The character ask game is here!

1. My first impression of them

Honestly my first impression (from seeing promo images and such posted on this very website!) was something like “Whoa. Clashing colors much?!” So I guess you could say it was not the best 😂

Obviously I got over that, but I did learn recently that trying to apply his color scheme to any other character is still quite a shock! ROTFL Click for proof if you dare!

The rest is cut! For! Spoilers!!!

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

The first time I watched Appmon, I felt like basically the whole first half of the series was a bit of a crapshoot, quality-wise (not in terms of the animation or anything, but how I felt about it). Like, if you tried to graph my enjoyment of each episode right after I watched it, it would look like a jagged mountain range. The first episode was ok, the second episode was “eh,” the third and fourth episodes was pretty good, the fifth was back to “eh,” etc. I don’t know, pacing and tone and kind of unsympathetic character introductions and it just being “different” were all things that were working against it at that point in my mind, and made me wonder what the writers were really trying to do (honestly, what REALLY sold me on watching Appmon at all was @firstagent’s pitch at a con, which explicitly plugged Offmon and Yuujin’s dynamic!).

(I should say here that despite those rough beginnings, Appmon is probably my favorite Digimon series now, so yeah I take time to warm up to things sometimes but the right combination of factors makes me fall and fall HARD)

All that said, I know exactly when I really start to like Haru, and it was during the third episode (the dungeon one with Roleplaymon). He’s just so excited and happy throughout, while also being a complete nerd, and instead of a big Appmon fight at the end (well, being unable to have one due to an evolution whoopsie), he just talks to Roleplaymon… and it works. That felt kind of revolutionary, and it was the episode that I started to not only understand his character, but (maybe) gain a bigger picture view of the series and what the show was going for. This episode just crystallized a lot of things for me.

Me after episode 3: Haru is kind. Oh, and also he’s my son now, I want to see him grow up strong, I WILL keep watching FOR HIM actually (best decision ever!!) 💖

11. What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

Joke answer: “Do I need to be working on the blog queue right now, or can I procrastinate a few more days?” 🤔

Real answer: No thoughts anymore, just feelings (rotfl). After watching every episode in order to look at every single shot of Haru and find the very best frames, I can still say definitively that he’s so cute and I love him and all Harus are good Harus 🥺🥺🥺

12. Sexuality hc!

Bisexual! And uh… one specific android-sexual? You cannot deny his crush on Ai, and Haru/Yuujin is so good. They’re one of my OTPs, they’re soulmates (by some definition of the word “soul”), they were made for (and made by) each other, they’re actually making eyes at each other from across the room in my head right now 🤫

23. Future headcanon

Oh, he’s definitely going to be an AI researcher, that much I believe! One who is very literature- and ethics-minded, and thinks a lot about what what “existence” means, and is hyper-aware of beings’ rights and the need to advocate for both humans AND AI, in a world where both appmon and general artificial intelligences actually exist. These beliefs are the cornerstone of his work, regardless of what he actually does with AI. Would he follow in his Grandpa’s footsteps in being an academic designing his own? Maybe borrow a page from Koushiro Izumi’s book and start a company? Or go the Susan Calvin route and become an AI psychologist? Any! All! Idk 🤣

Honestly, so much else about specific future headcanons depends on how you interpret the very last moments of the series (literal or symbolic), and for me it could go either way. I really like interpreting it as literal, if only because it’s such a great hook into the nebulous Appmon Season 2 that exists in my head. Yuujin’s back, but how? Cue mystery and more Appmon shenanigans.

Regardless, I’m most interested in the future where Yuujin comes back in some form at some point during Haru’s lifetime, and no matter how, when, or why that happens it’s going to be a joyous occasion, but also a bit of a rough transition. Yuujin may have changed. Haru may have changed. There would be a LOT anxiety about “is this ok?” and “how do you feel?” and “what does it MEAN that this is how you feel?” and “what does ANY of this mean for us as individuals, and us together?” because it’s all very complicated when you bring the android that was programmed to be your best friend and your ideal version of a person back to life. Is there even a happy ending out there for them? Again, for me it could go either way.

So yeah, a bit rambly, because to me there is no one answer I could ever 100% decide on. They’re all possible. And that’s kind of the great thing about the vagueness of the ending! I will say I like drawing them in happy-ending mode best though, even though I would probably write their future in a way that involves more drama, because it’s way more interesting, and nothing in life is ever that easy (I’m rooting for them though!).

Again, thanks so much for the ask!!

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

15 questions, 15 mutuals.

Tagged by @sighonaraa !! <3

Are you named after anyone? - my birth name included one name for a great grandmother and the other for a member of royalty (:/). as for gert. well. that's a whole saga, but it boils down to "assigned gert by obituary writer". i guess i kinda was named after gert/marion?

When was the last time you cried? - like properly cried? a few weeks before finals. total breakdown, long story. not finals related, weirdly. but if you just mean like tearing up i tear up any time i really start laughing so probably yesterday?

Do you have kids? - absolutely not

Do you use sarcasm a lot?- do i use sarcasm? 🤨

What's the first you notice about people? - you know, i'm not sure. probably how they talk? but if you mean physically, maybe like. hair? or just, whatever is noticeable about them idk

What's your eye colour?- greyish

Scary movies or happy endings? - happy endings!

Any special talents? - i like to think i've got a decent singing voice. but really, my main and only talent is writing <3 and, of course, the gift of gab

Where were you born? - the us of a

What are your hobbies? - video games (both the playing of and dissecting of), writing for fun and profit, art/drawing (badly) particularly with graphite and oil pastel, gifmaking

Have you got any pets? - sort of? i live with a cat but she is technically my brother's. but even if i'm not the one who buys her food i have to put up with her (affectionate) a lot

What sports do you play/have you played? - lmao i was the "always picked last bc i was a skinny little loser" kid. the closest i've come is being decent at capture the cone as a kid in pe, and that was also bc tiny me was a little maniac who was actively attempting psychological warfare during the capture the cone,

How tall are you? - like. somewhere between 5'2 and 5'4? havent' checked recently, genuinely not sure. but it's in that range. probably 5'3 or 4?

Favourite subject in school? - english, probably. i've also always enjoyed mythology if you wanna get more specific. and theatre! i love theatre

Dream job? - hmmm. well dream job would be some form of creator--a video game designer, an author, an artist, or even an actor (perhaps on stage!), but like, in a "im making enough to live, and im kinda famous but not Too famous" way, but barring that, possibly a college professor or a librarian at a university? or maybe an editor or something along those lines? i'm pretty comfortable in academic spaces--or as comfortable as i'm ever going to be--and i enjoy a lot of the things those types of jobs would involve.

Tagging: hmmm @casismybestfriend @eryaforsthye @peachygos @mvshortcut @mysteriouseggsbenedict @sqenthusiast @kar-krashew @vamplanaut @thehouseofgrey @normal-thoughts-official @despite-everything @bahoreal @goyeeahaw @ragecndybars @rngaredead

no pressure!! no pressure at all, if you ignore this or don't see it or anything i will not be offended. patting your head.

[maybebabyplease]

what is your opinion on mwpp writers who have only read atyd?

hello anon!

i mean. i don't care what people do. and i know it's cool to be an ATYD hater, but i actually enjoyed the fic! even tho i didn't like grant the OC (see prev opinion on OCs). it's a really fun canon divergent (or like, canon adjacent?) fic imo. i don't see it as the end-all, be-all, of course, but i didn't hate it.

re: writing fic after only reading atyd, i do think it's not really....fanfiction? if you're not a fan of the original media? idk this is an interesting topic because so much of fandom is built together, esp in a fandom as big as HP. people pick up each other's HCs and build on them and change them and create something so far from the original text. but if you're just reading fanfiction, and making fanfiction of that fanfiction, what do you call it? i'm not sure. maybe someone who's studied this (where are my academics! i know there's a few of you around here!) has a better idea than me. does it stop being a transformative work, if you're not transforming the original text? and where does it stop being a transformative work? to me writing 'fic of fic' like that is much more derivative than transformative, but am happy to hear other people's opinions in the comments/my dms/whatever :)

(opinions, courtesy of me)

[wonieleles]

It's the season of love! and you know what that means, time to find yourself a valentine! and who better than one of your beloved mutuals? answer these questions, and the mutual with the most mentions your tumblr valentine:

Mutual you can always rely on?

Mutual who never misses a post?

Mutual you share the most interests with?

Mutual you have the most in common with?

Mutual you look up to?

Mutual you'd run away and live in a cottage with?

Spouse material mutual?

Mutual with the best personality?

Mutual that never fails to make you laugh?

Mutual you'd have a crush on if you knew them irl?

Mutual you absolutely cannot live without?

1. mutual you can always rely on

all of saf so like @urszn @hanniluvi and @son4taa but also sae @saeshiros they’re always willing to listen to me and all my problems so thank you guys 🙏🙏

2. mutual who never misses a post

i feel like kayla @haknom like SHES ALWAYS THERE even when i say the most random things sometimes but also @hanniluvi cause soph has been catching up with kayla’s speed lately

3. mutual you share the most interests with

hmm idk maybe @urszn or like @saeshiros i feel like i talk to them two the most

4. mutual you have the most in common with

hmm maybe fae @jangwonie idk i feel like we like a lot of the same things and have a lot of similar qualities. WAIT ALSO @haknom she’s literally the mini me influenced her dn jokes phase sorry about that everyone 🙏🙏

5. mutual you look up to

NGL @amakumos and @soobnny literally the first accs i followed on here and probably my fav writers like i can’t believe they followed me back they’re so talented frl. but like also @jangwonie academics wise like she’s so smart frl like teach me your ways 😭🙏🙏

6. mutual you’d run away and live in a cottage with

um maybe @mokiverse cause moki seems to have survival skills (aka i was convinced with the skateboarding 🤣🤣)

7. spouse material mutual

@soov your list convinced me ngl checked off almost everything 😱😱

8. mutual with the best personality

literally can’t pick i feel like all of them have such great personalities in their own ways

9. mutual that never fails to make me laugh

@saeshiros COMEDIC GENIUS.

10. mutual you’d have a crush on if you knew them irl

@urszn HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HER i rest my case. but like esther is so fun to talk to literally the girl you guys all want but can’t have 🙏🙏

11. mutual you absolutely can’t live without

all of you guys tbh 🫶🫶

[ya-zz]

Omfg, once again, I feel you. Never in my LIFE have I touched writing beyond doing essays for schools. Have been drawing for ages, and yet... I can't seem to be able to paint much of anything this year. But, somehow, me, an absolutely shitty writer, proceeded to begin fanfic writing, OF ALL THINGS, in the last month or so. In a language that isn't even my native (English, if that ain't obvious enough). And it's been strangely really fuckin' enjoyable???? Being knowledgeable in painting means I have high standards for myself, which lowkey puts a mental block on me, an invisible pressure to always perform, seeing as I wish to make a living through it one day. Meanwhile, as much as I know what makes a good story, I lack the actual skill of putting the stories into written words. But who cares about that??? I'm a total beginner in this field, writing for my own pleasure, and these shamelessly self-indulgent bits of story orsmut,goddamnwhathasramattradonetome will never be seen by the public (I mean... I THINK, MAYBE, IDK-). They can be utter horseshit, and it won't matter. Also, if nobody is going to make the extremely specific content I wish to see, may as well make it myself, right? God, sitting down to draw, getting a bit done, and suddenly all motivation disappearing in the blink of an eye is also a giant mood-

^^^^^

This. That’s exactly how it is. Ask me to write 5-6k words for a fanfic, I’ll do it. Ask me to write 5-6k words for an academic paper? No thanks.

I legit lost all motivation to draw during uni, then picked up writing in my final months and now here I am. If I can keep pushing these requests out and a semi constant pace, I’ll be happy.

From writing for myself to writing requests, it was something I never expected to happen… some days are good, some are okay, whilst some are dogshit but hey, if we pull through the bad days, good content will come out. Use those experiences to create a new piece…

[just-some-random-blogger]

part 2 for my most talented hottie-cutie! 'i love your story so much i might just give it an express ticket pass' *imagine a blushing emoji* you flatter me *imagine more blushing emojis bc i'm not typing it on the phone no way-* 'i became a writer was because i disagreed/didn’t like the plot points of the fics' omg i should've knew TT hehe you're rioting, girl. it's so worthy of respect! i love it! ig a lot of ppl love it too hgjdk. you're amazing, really. andand it's really meaningless but i wanted to say that i was so amazed by caraxes TT they've showed him up close and i was screaming TT he's such a kitten TT i want to adopt him TT this pretty kitten TT omg i cried... imagine receiving vide messages with a girl screaming, crying, throwing herself on the road and calling a fucking dragon a kitten? my bestie don't even need to... what about 'maybe you should try'. 1) i'm still insecure of my english. you did comforted me and now i feel more free to communicate. but ig it's not enough to write things. especially when it's about some historical topic. i don't think i have enough grammar knowledge or vocabulary. 2) also concerns the 1 point. my narrative language is 'heavy'. that's what my english and russian (esp lol TT) languages teachers have always been telling me. and i understand why. i've been even insulted (not really but i hate that man) by the comparison with Lev Tolstoy (the worst man in russian literature). it may be a compliment in a way but not really. if you've ever read anything of his, you probably understand what it means. and 1. idk if i can write serious things with this trait of mine; 2. IDK if i can express the things in a way i want to with the 2 previous points?? 3) i used to write fics in my mother tongue and, although i still like some of them, i don't really have inspiration to write now. and probably i wouldn't find a lot of followers anyway? my fics ideas are not really popular. even talking about my asks, you have much more popular requests. (i'm really honored and flattered by the fact you like my ideas TT thank you). and i always seek for approval. i trust you and really like how you embody my thoughts. our alliance you know... if you don't mind, i'll better send anything to you and hope you'll like it. 4) tbh, it's a good idea. and i'm soso flattered by your support TT no but the fact that you said it?? got me sobbing and hugging my laptop soso tight TT i love you soso much for these kind words of yours and your sweet personality TT i'll think about this thing again, when i'm in a better mental state. i LOVELOVELOVE you so so so much!!! you have no clue how much influence you have on me and how valuable your words are TT!! now i'm going to finally prepare for that academic competition. LOVE YOU!! and your talented hands! and your big brain! and your big heart!! thank you soso much for being you!! and for your support! take care!! love you!! have a nice evening/night/morning!! <з

good morn 😌

love lettersss <3 <#

'i love your story so much i might just give it an express ticket pass' *imagine a blushing emoji* you flatter me *imagine more blushing emojis bc i'm not typing it on the phone no way-*

here let me do it for you 😳😳😳🤭🤭🤭😚😚😚😊😊😊 i think those are all the ones wish blush lol HAHHAH

'i became a writer was because i disagreed/didn’t like the plot points of the fics' omg i should've knew TT hehe you're rioting, girl. it's so worthy of respect! i love it! ig a lot of ppl love it too hgjdk. you're amazing, really.

😎😁😁thank you lover. Im so glad a lot of people agree with the brain rot in my head lol. im honored to have your respect and to have people read my works in general 🥺🥺🥺

andand it's really meaningless but i wanted to say that i was so amazed by caraxes TT they've showed him up close and i was screaming TT he's such a kitten TT i want to adopt him TT this pretty kitten TT omg i cried...

ah i see its ur first time seeing caraxes up close HAHAAH yes he is a dear. i too really love the dragons. i also especially love it when the dragons are added to fic and they are somehow personified. i love that for us.

imagine receiving vide messages with a girl screaming, crying, throwing herself on the road and calling a fucking dragon a kitten? my bestie don't even need to...

ur like me fr. i also think dragons are cutesy widdle beans <3 <3

what about 'maybe you should try'. 1) i'm still insecure of my english. you did comforted me and now i feel more free to communicate. but ig it's not enough to write things. especially when it's about some historical topic. i don't think i have enough grammar knowledge or vocabulary.

thats fine. you dont have to do anything you dont want to. though i will say i did start writing fic when i was 11 T_T so yeah the cringe is real. we all start from somewhere. we all cringe HAHAHAH

2) also concerns the 1 point. my narrative language is 'heavy'. that's what my english and russian (esp lol TT) languages teachers have always been telling me. and i understand why. i've been even insulted (not really but i hate that man) by the comparison with Lev Tolstoy (the worst man in russian literature).

💀💀💀💀 lol lev tolstoy T_T apparently (dont quote me on this) as much as a writer as he was it think, if i remember correctly, his stories are actually from his wife, like from her diary. i vaguely remember watching a vid like that.

anyway i personally used to write a lot of narratives/descriptions, because that was the kind of lit/fics i used to read, then i realized T_T i barely finish my work because of it and i like writing dialogue parts more, which is why i changed my style ig lol. i dont think theres anything wrong with being narative heavy, i personally have just deviated from it and sometimes i find it hard to read if i am not in the mood to read, ya know.

i feel it depends on the author. some have this feeling of rambling, but some write so beautifully and vividly.

it may be a compliment in a way but not really. if you've ever read anything of his, you probably understand what it means.

i have only watched anna karenina films lol

and 1. idk if i can write serious things with this trait of mine;

then dont write anything serious. i literally write crackfics AHHAAHH

2. IDK if i can express the things in a way i want to with the 2 previous points??

well you could always try organizing your thoughts through bullet point or graphic organizers

3) i used to write fics in my mother tongue and, although i still like some of them, i don't really have inspiration to write now.

ah that can be hard fr. i usually try to look for prompts or consume media (like watch tv/film listen to music read etc) sometimes you really cant force it

and probably i wouldn't find a lot of followers anyway? my fics ideas are not really popular. even talking about my asks, you have much more popular requests. (i'm really honored and flattered by the fact you like my ideas TT thank you).

first of all because of this ^^ paragraph, i went to my fic that started it all, i genuinely wrote it with no expectation and only because of my brain rot i thought i would get 10 likes in total and i was ok with that. like i purposefully posted it at night because i didnt want to wait and see if people would like it lol, cause yeah it is a bummer that your work doesn't get noticed. i was shocked to see my notifs blow up because of that fic. to be completely honest with you, most of the times many notifs on a story do not equate to it being good or bad, it just means a lot of people got to see it.

i used to prefer writing on ao3 because i got more engagement there, but ao3 lacked the message and inbox options and i tried posting some of my stuff here. this used to be the place where i read kpop fics cos, idk, kpop fics dont do so well on ao3 HAHAH or at least for me. lol i got off tangent there.

point is even i have a lot of fics were i put my heart and soul into and i get like 25 notes and im like DAMN ok, then i fart 1k crack and everyones like AHSFILAHFAS YASS and im like ????? ok ?????? so at the end of the day i tell myself its ok if only one other person likes my fic, all that matters is that that person and me like it <3 <3 <3 and thats a lot in my book lol

and i always seek for approval. i trust you and really like how you embody my thoughts. our alliance you know... if you don't mind, i'll better send anything to you and hope you'll like it.

i would be honored to go through your work if you want me to. i will say if it becomes more than... idk 5k T_T id only begrudgingly go through it because i love you. BUT itd only be begrudgingly if i dont like it, and i know your ideas and I LOVE THEM so lay it on me pal.

4) tbh, it's a good idea. and i'm soso flattered by your support TT no but the fact that you said it?? got me sobbing and hugging my laptop soso tight TT i love you soso much for these kind words of yours and your sweet personality TT i'll think about this thing again, when i'm in a better mental state.

yeah i know how great it feels to have support from someone to purse your creative endeavors or just have someone support you in general. idk my mom stopped being impressed with me when i reached a certain age T_T because T_T i guess im already excellent in her eyes which is why she doesn't go 'OMG SLAY GREAT JOB' or smth she's always like 'oh yeah thats good' aT MOST because she already expected it of me, 'ok' [CRYING] T_T my dad gives more reactions, although T_T not very excited though, but idk my relationship with my mom is different with my dad i cant explain,

MY POINT IS I GIVE PEOPLE THE REACTIONS I WANT T_T

and when i was in my last years of highschool, i went to study music arts and design and T_T my classmates and i were so likeminded and we always encouraged each other and just being in that atmosphere made me realize how important it is to surround yourself with people who get it <3 <3 <3 T_T i miss them

i LOVELOVELOVE you so so so much!!! you have no clue how much influence you have on me and how valuable your words are TT!!

thank you. im honored. truly. i know i say it so much but i mean it everytime. im humbled to have someone as sweet and smart as you look up to me like this. genuinely i love you my dear.

now i'm going to finally prepare for that academic competition.

I HOPE YOU DO AMAZING AND WIN AND SHOW EM HOW AMAZING AND COOL AND GREAT AND SMART AND SEXY AND CUTE AND FUNNY AND AMAZING AND GORGEOUS YOU ARE

LOVE YOU!! and your talented hands! and your big brain! and your big heart!! thank you soso much for being you!! and for your support! take care!! love you!! have a nice evening/night/morning!! <з

thank you T_T im luv u

xxx

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

ooh a life update *stares*/mild vent oopsie

sometimes (my every waking moment) I’m like “wow college should not cost this much money” and it really fr fr doesn’t feel worth it because why the fuck do I have to pay to apply to have a place to stay on campus

like I wish my 3.6 GPA got me a full ride or smth but nooo my academics have to be perfect or I have to play a sport and my leggies are not built for any of that

My pipeline was “does homework at the end of the day in class to watch animal shows at home” to “comes home and watches sillies then sleeps”, none of that is related to Kicking A Ball or Throwing Something.

sometimes I wish I contributed more to that type of thing but like……I don’t know if I’d still be the same person or if I just…..it’s odd. I want to feel appreciated by my school but I don’t want them to take credit for something I did myself.

My HS isn’t responsible for showing me how to write well, the internet and writing shitty smut since 2017 did that. I did that myself by building my skills. But they don’t care unless you win stuff for it. They don’t care about your passions for creating change and not liking authority because of how hypocritical it is. You want me to throw a fucking ball, or have other people be impressed by my art, or never have failed a class (sorry, I can’t control when my depression and OCD flare up).

and then the ever looming “getting a job in my field” and paying off student loans after I’m paying thousands each month to stay in fucking school so I maybe have a career in the field im studying for

like make some noise yall (lower tuition permanently or it’s you and the woodchipper)

also another thing that sucks is knowing there’s things wrong in the world and in your government and not being able to do shit about it but call your senators and wish you could vote it away and wish you could give starved kids your meals and your water and your bed and home.

and nobody your age cares either. They’re so unaware of everything going on, or on the most surface level it makes you want to pull your hair out. And you get weird looks for being upset that things are shitty?? Like you don’t get how this is bad and why I’m mad?? How? What does it feel like to not care about anything that’s not an arms length in front of you?

anyway um. Thanks for reading. I hope I actually write that archivist fic. AND ANOTHER THING WAIT

sometimes I feel illegitimate for saying I’m a writer but I don’t write unique characters that I made or stories I created. And I almost want to invalidate it but then I remember how much depth I’ve added to characters and situations and what they’re like, and just sprinkling a bit of ✨spice ✨ into their design. Idk. It’s weird. Like I get what writers mean when they’re talking about writing but I don’t feel special because I feel like what I’ve written in terms of fanfiction isn’t impressive enough. (I fucking forgot I wrote a 10 page research paper in a night, and got to the state level of the social studies fair for one I did last year) anyway

words of advice are very welcome

have a silly for listening to me yap

[miupow]

thanks ! i am unfortunately an insane honor roll student so im like constantly on the grind tm - but i enjoy it! also. warning for the rest of the ask bc it is just a huge "here is my opinion, whats yours?" so if its like uninteresting lmk 😔 I am unfortunately studying craftsmanship and business/finance ethics in college so its like my thing tm

anyhow - i get what you mean about the whole seeing your peers' work not perform as well and being disheartened. i and many other nsfw oriented writers have been there before and im sure people will be there after : its not a bad thing to want recognition and it was one of the main reasons why i took a step away from writing.

but the main thing that brought me back was that writing itself so very fun, and in order to participate in "fun" i had to reevaluate what it means to "succeed" in a craft - esp on tumblr dot com hell site supreme - and re-reconcile that with my own wants and needs as someone who participates in the craft of writing. how much do i care vs how much should i care about numbers in comparison to others, and does it mean more when friends or strangers like my work, and so on and so forth. im not saying you should do this too or that i have a particular answer to that balance, more so just some misc. thoughts from one writer to another.

anyways sorry for the wild tangent - hope it doesnt sound like a lecture 😳 i know its "just" fanfiction but fanfiction is also tied closely to community, and to participate in community is a skill in and of itself ! all of this is just to say that, like fairy anon said, i think you should have fun. put your enjoyment and emotional enrichment in your craft first and foremost and be proud of the things you did and also be proud of the things that succeeded at the same time, and all that. its ok to get silly with it and still be scared, and its valid to let those fears keep you from getting too silly all the time - but i would still rather you get silly than not at all, if that makes sense

- 🐶 to the moon

omg honor roll student... i haven't been that academic since i was a freshman in high school TT

i get what you mean! part of my issue is that i have a genuine passion for writing, to the point where i want to be like. an actual author someday. so i spend days and weeks writing and editing and putting everything i've got into a work just to watch something i spent maybe ten minutes on get more notes and i'm like 👹👹👹

i might sound whiny and annoying about it and i really do enjoy writing just for fun and not for notes!! but. yknow. sometimes i don't feel like i get much back at all and i'm just like a monkey sitting at a typewriter

maybe i take this shit too seriously idk.. i've been having a lot of doubts about my writing and a lot of performance anxiety recently. like i have a lot of anxiety about people judging me for the things i write...? it might just be all in my head but i've always been like that i have really bad social anxiety lol one reason i don't have ANY socmed outside of tumblr

i'll try to be less serious and have more fun, but i get caught up in my own head sometimes.

[chemicalpink]

☾✧゜BTS Tarot Reading: a peek into their S/O energy ☾✧゜

Pairing: none, this is a tarot/oracle reading.

A/N: I used the divine feminine deck for this reading. Please do remember that every tarot reader’s relationship with their decks are unique thus it may vary the interpretation of the cards. This reading is for entertainment purposes only; the energy channeled may refer to a present or future partner. Whatever outcomes of the reading doesn’t mean ultimate truth and we should really respect the member’s dating life as fans. 

Kim Seokjin ☾✧゜

Mai Bhago: resources; warrior.

So i feel like this is someone that might have to fight for him

Someone that will stop at nothing to get him to open up.

Cause I mean sure, either way, Jin is so far up in the ‘people that will never be your boyfriend’ list with the way that BTS has grown but I feel like this is so much more than that.

I feel like 

It’s not hard to get close to him, but it is hard to get him to open up to the idea of someone loving him for him and not for what he’s accomplished.

idk if that makes sense (?

Lakshmi: abundance

As soon as I laid eyes on this card I got the idea of someone with all that bread.

Not sure if it is inherited wealth/ wealthy family or self made

But definitely someone that has the necessary resources to live comfortably

And also this adds up to them being able to make Jin open up 

Cause they are definitely not using him for money.

Which is a big relief for him.

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes.

Definitely someone that doesn’t run on the same circles as him.

I thought: hmmm maybe a fan (?

Or possibly someone that doesn’t necessarily has the time to date

But most definitely has the intention to love Seokjin with all their strength.

Min Yoongi ☾✧゜

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes

Hello we meet again.

But with a diferent connotation.

This is someone whos strong will puts us all to shame

Like really

Someone that gets their mind on something and will most definitely get it.

Very in tune with Yoongi’s energy.

Lalla: spoken words

I feel like this is someone that has gone through their life trying to heal

And succeeding

“I am the writer of my own story”

Some one that doesn’t fit into the ‘traditional’ way that they are supposed to live.

VERY straightforward.

I also thought of someone spiritual, a manifester of sorts.

Kali: mother of the universe.

LISTEN I’ve said how this one is someone non traditional

Now hear me out

I saw this card and thought well we are looking at someone not gender conforming.

I can even go as far as say that is is someone part of the LGBTQ+ community.

“It’s time to be the truth of who I am”

If you put 2 and 2 together, I can say that this is a healing presence for Yoongi, someone that will make him tune in into what he really likes, who he is.

Jung Hoseok ☾✧゜

Lalita: happiness

This made me so soft

Sunshine got his own sunshine

“Laughter leads me back to the light”

Very positive vibes for this one

One of those people that is impossible not to like

Just like him

Sarada Devi

“The presence of love is the absence of judgement”

This is definitely someone open-minded

In many ways

Someone that has no trouble with Hobi’s way of life

As in

He had to cancel last minute because there’s this thing at the studio? Sure no problem.

They don’t doubt one bit his love and devotion

And understands that they are not walking the same path

But rather walking each of their paths together.

Vajrayogini: liberation

A carefree soul

I feel like this someone is helping Hoseok feel free again

As in

Don’t get him wrong he loves doing what he does but sometimes your career ties you down

But all of those are gone with them.

A fourth card popped up: Mary Magdalene

Along with all those things, this someone is someone very down to Earth

They know where they stand

None of that getting their head get full of it for dating Hoseok

They are themselves and will stay themselves no matter what.

Kim Namjoon ☾✧゜

Marguerite Porete: mystic

Right off the bat, a soulmate connection

I’ll have to say soul family at least

A very divine love

Not like codependent but very very into each other

Shekinah

I feel like most probably this is a female, or someone that identifies as such

Also

Namjoon president? very much so

This is someone important

I see power

In like- a position wise type of way

I’ll go as far as to say a diplomat cause it’s what comes to mind

Or a business executive

Someone well respected within their own little world

Definitely someone Joon looks up to

Rita of Cascia: impossibles

What’s with these boys and this card

So again, I’m sensing fan or just someone that is not a celebrity

Public figure? sure

But like I said, they run just within their own circle

It also came to mind: foreigner

So yeah, i endorse my thought of a diplomat.

Park Jimin ☾✧゜

The Cosmic Egg

Listen I’m not surprised to get such a card from this man

This is indeed a soulmate connection

Also, filled with lots of love

But mostly like- demonstrations of love

I don’t wanna say they’re that couple full of PDA

but it’s what comes to mind

Teresa of Avila

DO NOT QUOTE ME ON THIS OKAY

But I feel like this is an already existing relationship

they keep to themselves

a very NON PUBLIC relationship

I feel like they don’t feel the need to announce it to make it more real

They vibin’

a very soft and chill connection tbh

Machig Labdron

So I feel like these two have known each other for long

This is someone that Jimin has helped through hard times

Chimchim is a healer within so I sense that he has helped them 

“I see light in my own darkness”

Also I feel like they’ve had a troubled past that has turned into love

Jimin was the light that helped them see their true lovable self.

Kim Taehyung ☾✧゜

Mira Bai: true freedom

Okay so this is someone VERY independent

Although they love Tae to death, they know to love themselves first

I can see Tae being a bit intimidated by this way of thinking at first

But learn later that this is his type of person

Yeshe Tsogyal

It came to mind an academic

Whether it is a teacher or an investigator

That academia vibe

A true intellectual

Very curious about life and averything that surrounds them

Just like Tae

Tae most likely learns A LOT from this relationship

And is very fascinated by their brain

Kali

“I release all that doesn’t serve me”

This someone knows what they want

And there is just no way around it

Like the first card said, they love Tae but life plans are life plans

Someone that loves to walk their own path

A very grown-up vibe to them

And listen I don’t wanna fall into daddy/mommy issues

really

But I’m gonna go ahead and say this is some type of inner child healing for Tae

Two very similar POVs but with SO DIFFERENT perspectives

Both curious, but Tae’s comes from a child-like place whereas his s/o views it as something greater, the purpose of the universe type of way.

Jeon Jungkook ☾✧゜

Sehknet

This card was very straightforward with the message

Someone that has been through shit

Jungkook is their well-deserved break at all the trials that the universe has put them through.

“I am pure strength”

I also feel like this is someone that tends to be an avid activist

VERY VERY passionate

and definitely tired of everyone’s bullshit

an old soul, VERY VERY OLD

“I honor my anger by giving voice to it”

Pope Joan

WHEN I TELL U

this is someone spiritual to the BONE

“Soul is limitless”

I got the ‘I will turn the world upside down to find you’ vibe too

Like

They know Jungkook is their person

And honestly? They are thriving to just watch how the universe is trying to apologize to them by putting Jungkook on their path

Someone very wise, more so in the sense of life than academic type

Parvati

THIS IS A PAST LIFE CONNECTION

like- really really had it coming for both of them

“I am a love that doesn’t leave”

They are also very very committed to this connection

They put their 110% spiritual self on this

I sensed the ‘healer meets healer’ type of connection once they meet

Also

Since this is a very old soul I feel like their soul journey is almost over and Jungkook is kind of a legacy for their learnings.

As always I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to request any other general tarot reading! Have a great day! I promise I’m working on all my other requests, this reading just suddenly came to me and i just had to do it.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Uhm... what if I told you that my brain keeps bubbling with plot for the hybrid!demon thingy I pitched to you??

Please don’t be mad at me 😭 I feel like I am abusing your patience and I am sorry. I will stop talking about it after this ask, I swear 🥺

Just a few things first hihi:

You don't have to take it. Or take only a few parts of it if you want. It's just that since it's already on my mind and I have no other purpose for it, I might as well give it to someone that could maybe make good use of it. If you don't use it, that's ok, it was still a good mental exercise for me.

Honestly I have already gone so far off with it, that it's almost completely divorced for the prompts you initially proposed - which makes sense considering I went of on just a few words you gave at first.

The only things I have written start to finish are academic papers, documents and a couple small stage plays for kids (charity work, nothing professional). There was a poet fase during childhood but I don't think that counts. And the reason I don't write this story myself is because I would definitely loose all motivation halfway and just abandon it unfinished - I do it with other things too like painting, drawing, crocheting, sewing... creativity comes in random spurs for me. As soon as a idea stops feeling fresh and challenging in my brain, the fun is gone and so is the motivation to keep going for it thank god I am not like that with relationships.

Btw that is one of the things I've been admiring a lot in you - your relentless commitment to going through with such a laboring fic like yamqn. Even if it gets taxing and big and tiring sometimes, you keep going with the writing and the community building, and you don't even falter with the quality at any point. How??? When I say you are amazing I MEAN IT ♡.

Now regarding a few things you pointed out:

- The good thing about having a demon!character is that they are immortal. Beomgyu will live eternally and oc can reincarnate as many times as you want. You know what I am saying? Get where I am getting at? You can write how many versions of it as you want - each one a different oc lifetime/reincarnation. Maybe my version could happen in the 70s, and the one you have thought of is in the actual current days idk. The God of this universe is you, writer! You play the faiths, you create the rules, you control time and space, you command that universe! I know you might not want to commit to yamqn for so long - there are other things you want to write too and you have a life. But I am just giving you food for thought hihi

- I like complicated things lol there is not much more I can say here I guess 😅 no excuses to be given.

- Like I said, my mind kept bubbling and I think I got the rough answer to most questions I made you myself.

Aaaaand now we get to the story:

♡ How is oc like now?

Like you said, in this lifetime oc is a bunny!hybrid. Back when mutations began happening, oc ancestors where a family of court entertainers - well educated ladies that frequented the high circles of society serving as dancers, conversationists, muses for known artists and sometimes concubines. With time bunnies as well as kitties and foxes, stereotyped as stealthy, graceful and sensual beings became highly sexualized they started being seen as the sex-workers class. And well, from the reputation that comes with this practices, society wouldn't grant theses especies many opportunities out of it - so the stereotype becomes a planted reality.

♡ How this version of oc life is like?

A few decades ago government raised concerns over the reality of those types of service hybrids. Since they are not big predators and are so attractive to other species, government started passing laws assigning specific neighborhoods for those species to live, "for their own safety" you know. Thus red-light districts became a thing. Not long after another law was passed, imposing that every family of bunnies could only keep one fertile child and all the other children in the house were to be castrated - bunnies reproduce fast and they are in sex work so overpopulation could easily become a problem, they said. Truth be told, they thought it was starting to look "ugly" to have so many prostitutes around "respectable" neighborhoods, so the people in power decided to keep them down in numbers and hidden in their own corner. So that is where oc have lived all of her life. She was lucky, or unlucky, that her parents picked her to be the fertile child - that means she would not be put to serve on the family business, and instead only took the role of administrator of the place after her parents died. She even managed to get into university to learn administration, but the amount of sexual harassment she got from other students for simply being a bunny - a relatively rare virgin bunny at that - was too much so she quit after a couple semesters. She then decided to dedicate herself to taking care of her siblings (can we get stripper!yeonjun and boyfriendforhire!soobin as her brothers??) and the family business without caring much about the rest of the world anymore.

♡How oc and beomgyu meet again now? How does he befriend her?

Don't get me wrong, of course demons are not pristine goody-two-shoes, they are bad... but so are humans. The thing is that humans, especially humans with power are not big fans of taking accountability for their actions - so they began using demonic presence and demonic influence as scapegoats for all of their wrongdoings. Unsurprisingly, that type of discourse going around only makes the already generally bitter feelings a large part of society have towards demons into even greater animosity. On the last few years things only been getting worse, and street mobilizations against demonic access to public human institutions, for exemple, happen frequently. Religious cults are the new mafia and every once in a while you would hear of then planning attacks on demons, especially minor demons. Then higher demons counterattack and the cicle repeats itself. Lately where could be the only parts of town that a succubus or a incubus could walk around, or even live in, without having to worry about someone throwing a stone at them: yes, the red-light districts. They would have to be a common appearance around there anyways considering their nature, right? So no one really objects their presence there, but since they could become kind of competition to the local workers if things get out of hand, those two groups of social outcasts oftenly team up and most establishments have a partnership with one or two demons to bring in the clients and share the outcome - easier job for the humans, easier food for the demons. Imagine how Beomgyu felt when he went around the red-light district looking for a place to stay and, after being turned down by multiple establishments because "his beauty would diminish the value of their product in comparison" (lol), he knock on the door of one last business and the one he sees in front of him is not only the prettiest bunny he has ever seen but also the one carrying the soul of his one true eternal love. Upon seeing her he immediately, instinctively, feeling the need to impress her, uses of his powers to take the form of fantasy (of his own desires, instead of someone else's for the first time... he didn’t even know he could do that) and appear to her as a innocent destitute bear!hybrid boy looking for a job in exchange for a place to stay (he is not lying, that is basically what he came for... a few details can be left for later, right?)

(you make your magic to maneuver the whole him being ashamed of his status and afraid that being around him would harm her again part of the story fit here. I think it could make for a lot of very dramatic and very sexy conflict. I am literally giving you sex demons, and a entire social class of sex workers as the main characters. It oozes unapologetic sex, but with many underlayers of shame, sadness and misery)

And somehow I made another ask just as huge and about the same topic 🤣🤣 The amount of plot I have been throwing at you for this feels about three seasons long already, I know. I kinda feel a little sorry for you now.

~♡anon

I was actually wondering if you'll elaborate more or not 😂

Ok so here is what I'm thinking. He sees her before he enters the establishment and realizes it's her so he spends some time observing her, seeing her struggle and deal with unruly clients so he decides to take on the form of a bear hybrid to be big and strong for her to seek protection from him.

When he finally knocks on her door, he wants her to not be scared of him or else she'll turn him away so he decides to make himself appear wounded. She takes him in and tends on his wounds until he gets better. One of her brothers suggest than since gyu is so attractive, he could make his living there but for some reason oc feels like she doesn't want that. She feels jealous somehow and so she tells him that he doesn't have to. That's when gyu knows he got her. He offers to work as a guard and she's happy about it.

But throughout his stay there, he keeps getting closer to her, subtly touching her and using his incubus powers on her (maybe even exchanging her heat suppresant for sugar pills) because she keeps putting a distance between them as she hates being a bunny hybrid and thinks gyu only wants her because of how sexual her species is. But this drives gyu crazy because he needs to feed but ever since he saw her he just can't bring himself to feed on anyone else.

Until finally she breaks, her heat comes for the first time and she quickly locks herself up in a room. Gyu goes after her and attempts to get her to open up to him but she refuses. So when she sleeps. He uses his powers to enter her room and seduce her. But as they fuck, she feels her energy draining and with horror she realizes that gyu is a succubus. She tries to push him off but it's too late, he won't let go now.

That's as far as I got so far.

I'm still unsure about keeping both demon and hybrid elements in one story. And yeah different eras could work but then because of the introduction of hybrids, there would still have to be hybrids in the other eras so I'm not sure about that.

I feel like if I am to do this I'd have to separate it from the yamqn universe and make it another lost love story or just plain old yandere gyu 😂 idk i'm confused

Honestly I think my main issue with this pitch is the hybrid part because even though I really like the plot we've created here and even though i'm obsessed with hybrid fics i feel like they can come across as a bit goofy to readers so it might make yamqn seem less serious because of heats and knotting and bunnies you feel me? Like don't get me wrong like I said I LOVE hybrid fics but idk if I wanna involve it with yamqn. Add to that demons and it gets out of hand.

Idk what do other readers think?

[st0rmyskies]

Hi Stormy!

I want to preface this with how much I love and enjoy all your work. Seriously I love your words so much I could eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner!

but one of your recent asks kind of made me uncomfortable. It was the one where you and witchy anon were talking about FourTime and you said "Four would be SUCH a challenge for Time. He's got a hard facade to crack, and Time is going to have to pull out all the stops to get Four to bend"

I know you didn't mean anything bad by it! But it kind of weirded me out. Saying someone would have to "pull out all the stops" to get an asexual character "to bend" is just a little too close to the age old acephobic anthem of "If you just got some good dick, then you'd enjoy sex."

Refering to Four's sexual indifference as a "facade", as if his disinterest was just a cover and not his orientation, is also kind of not good. You might have been refering to his general demeanor ( you probably were) but in the context of the ask it didn't sound that way. And calling an ace character a "challenge" in the bedroom gave me bad vibes.

Honestly, and I'm really really hesitant to say this because I don't want to dictate what you write but, having your only ace character sleep with the house bicycle feels a little bit like ace-erasure: where Four is ace except for this one time where he isn’t.

I know you said Four is sex-neutral but I can't think of a single good reason they would ever get together. With Shadow it at least makes a little sense since they're in a QPR and Four might do it to make Shadow happy. But I don't see that ringing true for Time. And I can't see Four approaching Time either, since you already said he doesn't understand sexual appeal in the first place. IDK maybe I;m too sensitive sorry

Now you obviously didn't mean for this to come off this way! It might even be me reading too much into it! But sometimes your portryal of your aroace character squicks me out a bit. Sorry if this makes you upset! I really don't mean to offend or attack you! I just really love your work and wanted to let you know.

Sincerely, an aroace who really respects you and your creative liberty and who would devour a TimeFour story if it took place in the omega verse or the poly verse or any series that didn't have Four as an aroace

I tend to forget that not everyone is on the server with us having these LMTCOY discussions, so there’s some background information here that you’re not privy to. Under the cut for length.

Four is an inquisitive person by nature. I can only imagine that at some point, he’s going to become curious enough or fed-up enough or what have you about what the fuck is up with all his weirdo allo roommates. On the server, we were theorizing over whether that curiosity would end up with him darkening Time’s door at some point.

Before I answered Witchy anon's ask, I caught myself and cleaned up some problematic language in the initial draft, but clearly I didn’t think critically enough. I’m terminally allo, so I miss these things sometimes, not out of maliciousness but just because it's outside of my sphere of understanding. I am trying to be better, but I'm not perfect. What would be a fun “challenge” for Time would be to see if he can break Four’s facade of academic curiosity surrounding the act. He’d probably have to pull out all the stops - from the extremes of being gentle and complimentary to stern and harsh - to find something that Four seems to enjoy, if he even can find something. To try and make Four “bend” from his analytical approach and relax into the situation, enjoying it for what it is, would be fascinating to explore. But at the end of the day, no matter what they get up to and how much he does or doesn't enjoy it, Four would still be ace.

I was also considering it a fun challenge for me as a writer. I’ve never written an ace character in-depth before and I was considering how fascinating that perspective would be to explore. However, there’s always a risk that I’m not going to portray a given character or situation or scenario to someone’s liking, especially when the identity of the character is not my own. If I'm too worried about getting things "right" or "wrong," it's not going to be very fun for me to write at all, so maybe I just shouldn't.

Finally, if I’m putting out content that squicks you out, you should go elsewhere, full-stop. I don’t pretend to be perfect, nor do I aim to be. You should always seek out the content that aligns better with your needs and preferences.

[alwaysalreadyangry]

Charlotte, I've wanted to get into poetry for a while but haven't really known where or how to start, mostly because I have this kind of maybe weird tendency to rush through poems like I'm gulping down water. Curious how one actually like, reads and enjoys a poem; would love to hear your thoughts on reading and reception. Also I'm looking for lush, angry, queer, weird poems filled with longing, and would love to hear any suggestions or recs you might have!

ooh this has been really interesting to think about!! have been rolling it around in my brain for a while.

so, first off, a disclaimer: i don’t necessarily think i am a great or even a very good reader of poetry a lot of the time, and that’s fine -- if it’s worth doing it’s worth doing badly, etc. i am easily distracted and i tire out quickly and my magpie brain will focus on like, the language of a poem to the detraction of all else, and unless i’m being paid to write about a book or a poem or something then i don’t think reading in a way that feels wrong or inadequate is a problem on its own. sometimes i just enjoy quickly skimming for the language, and that’s good, that’s fine.

BUT for wanting to read to get more pleasure from poetry: i tend to say to read it like this the first time if that comes naturally to you, as it often does to me. skim, read it through without paying attention to the narrative or syntactical structure, but instead just looking for anything that makes your brain sparkle -- for me it’s going to usually be imagery and/or sound-patterning. see if there’s anything that makes you curious enough to dig in, any lines or sentiments that you like on their own. the surface-level or immediate pleasures with poetry are great and often what makes it worth digging down into the other stuff.

then, if you want to dig into a poem, it’s time to re-read! this time i’d recommend reading with closer attention to the most straightforward level of narrative or meaning: what is the poem most obviously saying? i am not someone who subvocalises, and sometimes my instinctively fast reading speed makes it hard for me to actually do this if the poem is at all playing around with language. in that case, it helps to read out loud, and to only move on from one sentence or stanza (or whatever unit of meaning the poem is using) once i have figured out what it means on a semantic level. depending on the length of the poem, once you’ve figured out as much of it as you can or care to, i’d recommend another quick read through to try and consolidate all of that in your mind.

then -- well, then you’ve kind of got the basics and the stuff that you’re interested in, and it can be fun to look back at the bits you liked in the first place to see what they mean to the rest of the poem, what they mean in terms of what the poem is saying. it could be that a rhyme or a repeated use of assonance emphasises something... you might find that two words are being linked by internal rhyme that don’t seem to have much to say to one another otherwise. is there any meaning there, in that connection? does it change what the poem says? how does the poem and what it does make you feel?

and depending on the poem you then want to just read again looking for anything else significant. is there a part of the poem you dislike? if you reread looking out for that, can you work out what’s going on there and why you dislike that aspect of it?

this will only work with certain types of poem, admittedly. i like a lot of poetry that is more innovative and abstract, where i have no clue what a poem is saying or doing, but i like the language and the feeling of the syntax inside my brain. so i’ll reread those a few times but don’t really have a semantic framework to get into them. it’s more about the language.

and then there’s visual poetry which doesn’t make use of words but of like -- shapes or the relation of shapes to space, and then it’s just about, idk. how i decide to try and “read” those relations and shapes, which i have no real roadmap for. i often just find myself staring at it like i would visual art, or trying to somehow reenact the shapes with my body as i “read” (like when i read a visual poem earlier today that is just a sequence of bells ringing in different directions -- to keep track of it i followed the bell’s movement with my head, tilting it right and then left).

does that make sense? i truly think that we don’t need to understand poetry to enjoy it; that there’s no right way to read or enjoy poetry, and that if we find we’re reading a poem that doesn’t interest us or make us happy, you can just stop. although if a poem makes a reader uncomfortable it can be a good idea to follow this kind of reading pattern to try and work out why! i hope this makes sense -- i’m afraid my answer is essentially just “reread the poems a lot”, but it’s good to go in knowing what to pay attention to each time, even if it’s just “this time i pay attention to what i like” and “this time i pay attention to what i dislike”. my brain needs structure like that because otherwise it is too flighty and sticky and will just roll around one phrase it likes in there for hours.

in terms of poetry recommendations, this is oddly tricky because there’s such an unexpected gulf between UK and US poetry -- i read more UK poetry and while there’s been a big explosion in the amount of interesting & vital queer poetry being published here over the past decade or so, a lot of it is relatively hard to get hold of unless you’re constantly keeping track of all of the new presses publishing pamphlets. so this is going to swing more US-focused but i will see if there’s any UK stuff i can think of too.

so first off, a cheat: i would recommend getting hold of these two big anthologies of trans poetry and having a look through to see if any of the writers grab your attention. hopefully academic libraries will have these or will get them on request? i say, hopefully. there is we want it all: an anthology of radical trans poetics, which came out recently (and i don’t have a copy yet). and then there’s troubling the line: trans and genderqueer poetry and poetics, from 2013. not as politically radical i’m guessing, but still could be worth looking through to see which writers you connect with.

i am drawing a blank on other anthologies right now, but in terms of exploring UK poetry, you can access issues of the zine zarf online here and i recommend it. not all queer but the editor is and there’s a great collection of stuff in there. i also recommend getting hold of their pamphlets as PDFs here, try alison rumfitt and gloria dawson.

second off, these are some poets i think you might like, i will link to some sample poems. mostly contemporary but not all:

dawn lundy martin

CAConrad

jackie wang

robert duncan

jack spicer (PDF)

jay bernard

miriam bird greenberg

sofia samatar

samuel the nagid

vahni capildeo

sophie robinson

frank o’hara

agha shahid ali

i am sure there are many many others i am forgetting but! i hope this is helpful!!!