#you know you can just be quiet about being atheist and not shit on what people believe in especially if it doesnt affect you right ?

[corneille-moisie]

isnt it ironic how holier than thou some atheist are 🤔

[catsfor2]

hit me, part 2

wc: 2.5k, largely unedited warnings: swearing/language, talk of homophobia, physical injury a/n: omg hey. this part takes place directly after part 1. things are starting to happen...!also idk shit about shit so don't come at me for the medical stuff if its wrong :) tags: @elliewilliamsmunch@intrnetdoll@me-and-your-husbandur-husband@3zae-zae3@milahnoz@elliescumm@dragonasflowercrown

part 1

part 1.5

"So...where are we going?"

"It's a clearing. In the woods." Ellie's hands lazily slide around the steering wheel as she speaks. You could daydream while staring at Ellie for hours. It's relaxing to watch her drive.

"Hm. Are you gonna...kill me there? Or something?" You joke.

"Still deciding."

"Oh my—are you seriously still mad?"

She says nothing, pretending to be engaged with driving.

You let out an irked breath.

"Okay—Ellie, I'm sorry. I was wasted out of my mind. And you look really different. Like, not just in your face. Everywhere is different." You confess, fiddling with the stickers peeling off of her dashboard.

"So do you. I still managed to fuckin' figure it out."

"I—I think I almost did? I remember looking at you and feeling really—confused, mostly. I didn't understand why I liked this stranger so much." You say, vaguely remembering how clingy and overt you acted last night.

"You were confused? I was fucking confused," her head swivels to yours. "a lesbian? That's what you are now?"

"Don't—don't say it like that. I came out like everyone else. You just weren't there to hear it."

Ellie lets out a choked laugh.

"Oh, Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"I wrote you and called you for fucking months. Nothing. A letter a fucking day. Are you listening? Do you know how many letters that is?"

You stay silent. Your hands ball up where they rest on your lap.

"Fuckin' say something! I even asked Dina for your number but you cut her off too! Is there a reason you basically fucking died?"

"I wasn't home, Ellie."

She stills, her shoulders relaxing a touch. She adjusts back towards the road before clearing her throat.

"At...at sixteen? What happened?"

You recall you, sixteen, sobbing and frantic. Tearing apart the letter Ellie wrote to tell you that she left. Wondering why it felt more like a breakup then your actual one did. Cursing yourself over and over and over again for only being sixteen. Your parents cursing Ellie for corrupting you.

"I feel like you can connect the dots." Your voice is just barely loud enough to hear over the droning tone of the car. The only focus you had at this point was trying not to cry in front of Ellie.

"Oh, fuck, y/n. I'm—I'm sorry. Did those fuckers kick you out?"

"No," you sigh. "I just knew I had leave. They're...crazy. I don't know. I'm fine now."

Her knuckles flex and tense over the steering wheel. Her teeth start to bite at her lips. There's a couple more seconds of quiet before she speaks up.

"I wish I would've been there."

You pause, not totally expecting what she said.

"Yeah," you breathe, gazing at the side of her head. "I wished that too."

And that wasn't a lie. Your family instilled a lot on you, mostly turning you away from religion. But then? You were desperate. Painfully, achingly desperate. And completely alone. After you left home, you prayed every single night. A genuine prayer, on your knees and everything. You even bought a $1.50 pocket bible from goodwill. All to aide in your bedtime routine of begging God to make Ellie come back.

She never did. You've been an atheist ever since. You weren't sure if her being here now changed anything.

The silence marinates for a short while longer until you feel the rocky texture of a gravel road beneath the car.

"We're here," Ellie states, throwing the gear in park. She takes a glance at your feet. "and you should've worn better shoes. We have walking to do."

You both hop out of the car.

"Like you couldn't have told me before we left?" You scoff.

"It's more fun to fuck with you later. C'mon," she grabs your hand, tightly clutching it in hers. "there's coyotes and shit around here. Don't be fuckin' stupid and stay close."

You try to will the warmth away from your cheeks. You've never held Ellie's hand before. Even if this doesn't really count as holding.

"Yeah, got it." You force out.

She leads you into the trees, hand warmly on yours, briskly following a mental path she's clearly walked many times.

"I almost got arrested over here," She sighs, far too casually.

"What?!"

"Damn—I said almost, chill." She assures, laughing at your shock.

You lightly slap her shoulder.

"I don't care! Almost getting arrested is still crazy!" You chide, eyes wide and judgmental.

Ellie's always been pretty...rebellious, but a part of you always thought that she'd be smart enough to avoid anything truly consequential. I guess she still is, you think.

"Lemme explain, ok. I was high as fuck, minding my business, when I saw some kids shootin'—a wolf, I think? Maybe a coyote—I saw them just...fuckin' up this poor thing with a—a BB gun."

"Oh my god..." You say, "What did you do?"

"I didn't do shit at first—I thought they'd stop. But they were like—about to kill this thing, I swear to God. So, I...ha..." Her face breaks into a wide smile. "you're not gonna like this,"

"...What. Not gonna like what."

"I pulled my gun on 'em."

"Ellie!"

"It wasn't even loaded, y'know I like to have it with me just in case..."

"They're kids!—"

"Asshole kids. Ok? And it fuckin' worked so—"

"I thought you said you almost got arrested?"

"Jesus—I did. You keep interrupting me—"

"Sorry." You quip, also realizing you just interrupted her with your apology.

"It's—it's fine. Anyway, those fucks called the cops on me after they ran. I found out cause the fuckin' pigs stopped me and asked if I'd seen an 'armed gunman in the area,'" She says, imitating a deep 'cop' voice. "dumbasses had no clue it was me."

You watch as she laughs, amused at her own story. Suddenly, your foot gets caught under a thick root and your arms fly out in an instant.

Ellie's hands hit your shoulders, grasping them upright, causing you to sharply crash into her chest.

"Oh—shit, sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." You gasp out, trying to regain your balance while loosening your grip on Ellie's coat.

"No, it's those fuckin' shoes," she rebukes, hands still resting on your shoulders. She immediately takes them off you when she notices. "we're almost there anyway. Try not to kill yourself before then."

Your hand burns at your side, palm itching. Is she going to grab it again?

"Where's 'there'?" You ask, glancing around at the wall of trees and shrubbery encircling you both.

"You'll see. Just stay close." She repeats like before, clutching your hand once again.

You tighten your grip, wanting to show Ellie you're listening.

"Good. Let's move."

The two of you walk for about a mile or so more, before the view steals your eyes and you both freeze.

"Oh—wow, Ellie. This is really pretty," you breathe, entranced by the piercingly vibrant colors and towering mountainous structures.

Her head is turned toward you, taking in your reaction to the sight, instead of the sight itself.

She's must've seen it so many times, you think.

"Yeah, you like it? I knew you would." She tells you, unable to keep the satisfied grin from her face.

"Shut up. I'm still mad you didn't even let me get ready this morning."

"There's nobody here. Who're you fuckin' getting ready for?" She barks, arms wide and gesturing.

I still wanted to get ready for you, Ellie. But obviously you don't say that.

"Whatever. You just did it to be a dick." You mutter, plopping yourself down onto the boulder in front of you.

"Yeah, I did. It's funny when you're mad. You're like a cat." She laughs, sitting down next to you.

"That's toxic. You shouldn't make people mad just cause you find it funny." You chide, crossing your legs over the rock.

"Guess I'm toxic, then." She sighs, carelessly throwing pebbles at your head.

"Was that the plan? Sit on a rock and be mean to me?"

"Truly adorable that you think this is mean—"

"Well it's not nice, that's for sure." You huff.

Ellie shifts so that her body faces yours. Her legs spread out wide, elbows comfortably resting on her thighs.

"I don't think you want me to be nice to you."

Your mouth parts open in surprise, eyes now burning into Ellie's.

"Well that's a lie. I'd love for you to be nice—"

"I think you like when I'm mean to you. I think you...prefer it, actually." She juts, a confident smile forming.

"Yeah, and who told you that, Dina?" You question, crossing your arms as a breeze starts to make you shiver.

"Nobody told me anything." her head quirks to the side. "I can just tell."

It was difficult to keep your composure. There were some things Ellie seemed to know about you that you didn't even know yourself. It was terrifying, embarrassing, and flattering all at once. Your face feels like its melting. You stay silent.

"Oh—am I right? I've totally got you, haven't I?" She asks, enjoying fully the power she seems to have over you and your emotions.

"No." You bite, unwilling to try and say anything else.

You hated how often Ellie was right.

She takes a ball of black fabric from her pocket, tossing it in your lap. It's a hat.

"Put it on. It's cold."

A swarm of bats fly over the both of you, chaotic and eruptive.

"It's gonna be dark, Ellie."

"I know, I know. I was, uh—saving the best for last." She quips, hopping off of the rock to stand in front of you.

It felt kind of awkward this way, Ellie fully standing while you sat. You had to look straight up to meet her eyes. It put your head in whirl.

"What, the tattoo? I saw that already."

"No. Something else," She grabs your hand and places it on the bottom hem of her top. Your heart beats a little faster.

"Lift up my shirt."

Your eyes widen as your hand fidgets. You wait for her to keep talking. She doesn't.

"Um...like all the way?" You struggle to find words. "Or—"

"Lift up," her hand grasps yours, guiding it up. "my shirt."

Fabric shifts and the pale flesh of her abdomen comes into view. Her belly is lean—all hard edges and dense muscle. What catches your eye is the long, winding, angry scar tracing along her hip.

Your brain goes into overdrive.

Traumatic injury, surgery needed... most likely...flexor or... IT band tendonitis? Maybe, what, Bursitis? Something...invasive—a tear? Labral tear? Iliopsoas tear? What the fuck was she doing?

"Street fighting." She states. "It's my job."

Your face is blank. You shakily stand.

"Uhhh—you, you better be fucking with me, Ellie." You stutter out. Unconsciously, you move to trace your finger along the scar, feeling the warped, healed skin. "I mean this is...this is serious. This is...surgery."

"Don't I fuckin' know it," she moves her shirt back down, covering the scar. "took me out of the ring for like, eight weeks."

"Jesus—Jesus Christ. How long have you been doing this!?"

"Not much longer than you've been in school, really."

"So, not long. Is what you're saying." your fingers rake through your hair. "This is...this is fucking crazy."

"It's not that—"

"Dina's okay with this? Really. I really don't see how she could be okay with this, like, at all." You argue, cutting her off.

"She wasn't. I had to convince her."

"And how often do you go to the doctor? Once a week? Or do you pretend like you know how to patch yourself up?"

Her face slightly reddens.

"I—I learned how to do it myself. I know how."

"Oh sure. Did you google it? I'm sure google will save you from a life threatening injury."

"Ok, most of them are not 'life threatening'—"

"You don't know that! Not certainly, at least! Not certain enough to be safe!" You exclaim, voice full of anger, but mostly, fear.

She places a hand on your shoulder, gripping it tightly. She doesn't talk until you meet her eyes.

"Hey. I am fine. The hip thing was a fluke. Honest. Most of the time nothing fuckin' happens." She assures, her other hand rubbing up and down your arm. You must've looked more upset than you'd realized.

"Ok."

"Just, 'ok'? Are we...good now?" Ellie asks, blue eyes still deeply connected to yours.

"Um...yeah..." You say, partly hesitating. Ellie watches you closely.

"I wanna go with you."

Her face lights up in...shock?, you think, a pleased grin shaping her mouth.

"What—really?"

"If you really want to do...this," you bite your lip. "being there is what would make me feel...better...about it."

"Yeah? That's...I mean, I think that's great," She says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "my own cheerleader."

You step backwards, letting Ellie's hands slide away from your body.

"No, not a cheerleader. A fucking medic. So I'm not sitting home worried about you—dying. I can just be there to help if stuff goes wrong."

"I'm happy either way, princess." She gleams.

As the sun sets, it gets harder to make out the shape of her face. The woods are also quieter, amplifying the subtle sounds of you and Ellie. You wonder about the details of your plan.

"Do I have to pay to get in? How does this...work?"

"No, you're set. Pretty girls get in free—it's a club rule. Y'know, good for business and everything."

You thank the sky for it's darkness, as Ellie is unable to see the rosy hue reaching your cheeks.

"Oh. Okay...good to know."

Ellie steps up, and now familiarly, encloses your hand in hers.

"C'mon. It's too fuckin' dark to stay any longer."

You walk out of the clearing, back into the dense foliage of where you came. Your grip tightens.

"So...have you had girlfriend?" Ellie blurts.

"Um, weird question, but," you look away. "no."

"Just...trying to gauge how good of a lesbian you are. Pretty bad, it seems."

"Oh, fuck off. I've been focusing on...school." You retort, fully knowing how lame it sounds.

If you were being honest, it was just nerves. You didn't have to try for a boyfriend, he basically wouldn't even take 'no' for an answer. But with girls? It was like you froze.

"Hey I'd give you some tips but...I don't think they'd really...apply for you, y'know?"

"No, I don't know. Explain it." You demand.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm trying think of a way where it makes...sense. And won't make you mad."

"I won't get mad Ellie. Just say it." You encourage, now more curious than anything.

She stops walking and turns to you.

"Well, it's like...the roles. The roles you can have."

"What...roles...?"

She huffs a laugh before continuing, and positions her hand to point to herself.

"I'm the type that flusters the girl. The...fluster-er, right?"

She walks forwards, getting so close that you can smell the scents of the forest soaked up in her clothing.

"And you," She says, her finger poking your collarbone. "...are the girl that...is flustered. It's a...a dynamic, yeah?"

Your skin heats and all you can do is gaze at Ellie, who's completely enthused with this discussion. She stays quiet, watching your face intently, despite it being so dark.

"You're making stuff up again. I don't even—I don't even know why I let you talk." You utter.

"See? You're doing it already! It's the fuckin' dynamic princess—you know I'm never wrong." She gushes, pinching at your checks and making them even redder.

"This so stupid. And don't call me that."

It was like the world stopped. As soon as you said it, you could see Ellie's brain distinctly remembering you, in that whiny drunken voice, begging. You won't ever forget it. And neither will Ellie, for completely different reasons.

You knew exactly what she was going to say, so you try and stop her.

"Don't. I don't care what I did yesterday. Just—don't."

She sighs, clearly dropping it. Thank god. Her teeth bite the inside of her cheek.

"Whatever you say, princess."

You don't even acknowledge it, just rolling your eyes as you walk ahead. Stray branches brush over your legs and thighs, feeling like gentle scratches. You slow a bit, waiting for Ellie to join you.

And hold your hand again.

Stepping ahead of you to lead, Ellie does just that. The warmth makes you smile, and you let it own your face, bright and wide. You didn't care. It was dark enough.

"Alright. Stay close."

"I know, Ellie."

[writersblockended]

Hiii, I have a request for Miguel O’Hara x Fem!reader (or gn whatever works for you!) where the two of them get into an argument,, but with an angst ending. It can be headcanons, a oneshot I don’t really mind!

I hope it’s not to much trouble!

Anything for you lovely!

Miguel x fem! reader w: angst, arguments, breakup, reader is unaware of Miguel's occupation (◍3◍) wc: 1k

It was one in the morning and Miguel wasn't showing up. He had promised you that he would come home from work at a reasonable hour and that he would take you out to dinner. You had long wiped your face clean from makeup and dressed into your comfy pajamas. After waiting past 9pm, you had finally accepted that the man was not coming back home at a reasonable hour that night, even after leaving him with missed calls and plenty of texts.

babe when are you coming home... :(((

missed call 7:34pm

are we even going out tonight?

missed call 9:50pm

can you atheist text me back to know your safe? I havent heard from you since this morning...

missed call 11:00pm

By the third missed call you gave up. He was probably still working on something and completely ignoring you. You were getting tired of this.

The constant waiting and longing for him, the missed calls, the lack of affection. Everything. Today was your anniversary and he couldn't event take one day off for you. It's exhausting being with someone so unresponsive. You were convinced a concrete wall would give you more reason to live than Miguel did at this point.

Just in that moment you heard keys rustling and footsteps following your bedroom door. All you could think was how you were going to reproach him. But all you felt was disappointment.

"Hola bebita, Como estas?"

"Miguel."

His expression changed. You usually greeted him with a hug, but this time you didn't even turn to look at him, your gaze locked to the muted TV.

"Alright then, what'd you do today?'

"Nothing."

"Is something wrong babe?"

"You missed our anniversary dinner."

That is when, from the corner of your eye, saw him stand straighter.

"Look babe I'm sorry. I had this thing at work, and I couldn't miss-"

"Is your job more important than me? Tell me exactly what you even do that your position at your job is enough to miss such an important milestone in our relationship? " You pause to breathe. Anger wouldn't take you anywhere, but your tone got more heated the longer you spoke.

You attempted to level your voice, "I am sick of these excuses Miguel. I have had so much patience with you and you won't even tell me where you work. You show up late, miss on things that matter for us, you even keep showing up with bruises and won't tell me why! What the fuck is going on?"

Miguel stands there, shocked at your revelation. The room stayed quiet for a beat. You continued.

"Are you cheating on me, Miguel? Is that what it is?"

He jumped, slightly wide-eyed, "Babe, no. Never!"

He walked closer to you and tried to grab you by the waist, but you pushed him away. You couldn't take this anymore; I mean what other reason is he skipping out on you?

"Then what is it? Tell me, please! I don't know what else to think. Just– please don't touch me. I can't do this right now."

"Look, I promise I am loyal to you, I can't explain what I do because I love you too much to put you in danger. Just know that I do everything to protect you."

You glared at him. What is it with him and this vague nonsense? You pushed yourself up from the bed and turned off the TV with a sign.

"Look, all I know is that you come home late from 'work" sweaty and bruised, and you give me a million excuses that I am tired of hearing. You know what? If you don't tell me right now, I will leave this apartment, pack my shit and leave. I am tired." You emphasize the last word.

"You know I can't do that. That is not fair. And babe what are you talking about?"

"What isn't fair, is that I am holding this entire relationship together, that is what I am talking about Miguel."

"Please listen to me!" He yelled.

"Oh, so now were yelling? I am listening to you; you just think that repeating things to me and ignoring my feelings is a valid argument!"

"I'm not ignoring you! If you could just calm down!"

"I am calm! Ugh." You groaned and out your hands in the air.

"Fuck it, Miguel I am out of here, I don't want to be with someone who isn't honest with me. And just know, this is all your fault." Every word you said was venomous.

You walked to your living room, ready to leave. You'll get your stuff later, but right now you could not see this man.

Miguel beat you to it and blocked the front door to the apartment. "Mi Chiquita, please, you can't do this. Give me one more chance and I'll change, I promise. I would do anything for you mi vida."

"Get out of the way Miguel! I am not joking, I will call the cops, I don't care!"

He got on his knees and wrapped his arms around your hips. "Please don't leave, I promise I'll do better. I am begging on my knees for you! I can't live without you. If you are not in my life, I will have no reason to exist. You are the air that I breathe, please."

In that moment you felt bad seeing him with glazed eyes looking up at you. You looked up and with your eyes closed you said, "Let. Me. Go. I will not repeat it again." You had to be selfish for once.

You felt his arms slowly let go and you opened your eyes. You quietly and calmly grabbed your keys from the counter next to the entrance and left without looking back at him.

Little did you know, you broke his heart into a million pieces that night.

Okay so what y'all think? I swear my writing gets worse and worse by the day 😭But anyways here you babes, hope y'all liked it!

Requests are open!

Used to be @centerforlove67

[sojourners-melancholy]

ASPEN PARK (my @apt502-if mc)

they/she (nb) / 25 / 5’8 / musician / lesbian

appearance: thin, straight black hair that barely falls past their shoulders / olive skin with a warm undertone / dark, coffee brown eyes / mole near the corner of their right eye / wears round, wire framed glasses

ROs: L and Cal (maybe A too)

tidbits about aspen below !

got a side gig as a church pianist to keep up with living expenses despite being an atheist (money is money, y’know?). the church has 5am morning services every week, and because they can never seem to sleep at a reasonable time, they end up staying up all night and then sleep in until the afternoon. said sleeping schedule may or may not be the culprit of the soft, late night/early morning cooking ruckus that the other 502 roommates hear oftentimes. but hey—at least being up for the sunrise is nice.

falls asleep at the piano more often than not. their poor, a-little-too-well-made bed seems almost a little lonely at times. hopefully that’ll change soon (wink wink nudge nudge). the thought of selling their mattress for rent money has definitely crossed their mind at least once though.

has a messy room—it’s littered to the floor with music books and binders and stray sheets. (somehow the bed is still untouched in the middle of all this. don’t ask why.) every single one of those is solely just music they’ve played or written (and of course they brought all of it to nyc; she “might need it one day”). they all have varying levels of notes scrawled on them, but each one has a couple dates written on them—one for when they started learning/composing them, and the others for when they were performed.

classically trained as a concert pianist while they were still in school, but ended up picking up some jazz near the end to find more music-related work. doesn’t regret switching majors over to music from architecture midway through college (this is ignoring the student loans though).

personality falls more on the quiet side; can seem pretty cold at first, but it’s actually just them being awkward. the quiet demeanor stills stays as they get comfortable, although then it has more mild/gentle undertones—kind of like a bear.

deadpans a lot, which can be a bit confusing with her monotone voice at first (sometimes it’s intentional!) but you get used it. they used hate it when people (rainn) would get the two mixed up and tried to make their voice more emotive-sounding, but eventually learned to stop caring and even started playing into it (“what do you mean you still can’t tell?” “shut up! i know you meant to do that!”).

definitely has that slowburn type charm; the one where you don’t think much about (maybe even find a bit boring) but find yourself choosing to hang out with more and more as time goes on and bam! one random day, you unexpectedly make them laugh. it’s a real, genuine laugh—the one where they’re going on until they can’t breathe and their cheeks are hurting from laughing so hard. and it’s at that moment, when you’re laughing with them, where it feels like when the first ray of sunshine hits you after a long, overcast day and you get all warm and fuzzy and—shit.

fuck.

you’re in love.

but hey, the sun’s finally out; maybe it’s about time you go outside and enjoy it too. you don’t know how long it’s going to be until it hides again, but maybe—just maybe—you won’t be so scared of it going away this time. because, rainn or shine, the sun will rise again. and i think it’ll be nice if you’re there for it.

[salemcantupdate]

Dragon age ask game!: 1,2,3,4,6,13,23!

Oh!!! So many! Ok here goes

1. Opinions on Orlais

Surana is disdainful for nobility and the chantry in general, and Orlais being so entrenched in those things doesn’t make Surana like them much. Like yeah he’s Ferelden and loves his dogs, but that’s not the source of his disdain. Hawke meanwhile does dislike them entirely because he is Ferelden, he’s a dog lover and they’re all poncy little shits. And finally Cadash also thinks they’re poncy, but they’re overall neutral. Orlais is useful, if annoying.

2. Are they skilled in The Game?

Surana is fantastic! He knows when to speak and when to be quiet, but ignore the mild headache you might get, ignore his long sleeves, it’s fine. Promise! Meanwhile Hawke is shit at it, but he’s fucking terrifying. So you don’t want to be on his bad side cause he’d likely just kill you for it. And finally Cadash, they’re ok at it, not the best at the talking aspect but fantastic at blackmailing. So it all works out!

3. Opinion on blood magic?

Surana believes blood magic is the same as any other magic, it is powerful, it is useful. And he needs it, so he will use it. Hawke is the opposite, he sees it as dangerous, a threat that should be stamped out. It’s why he began taking lyrium to be a Templar, so he could resist it. The only blood mage he trusts is Merrill. Cadash meanwhile is overall neutral. It’s all weird magic shit, but they’re smart enough to know that with the Inquisition it can’t be used. Not like they can use it anyhow.

4. Attitude towards Andrastianism?

Surana is full blown atheist, he doesn’t believe in the Maker, he does recognize the ashes but is overall suspicious, and as I said he fucking hates the Chantry. Hawke does follow the Chant however, he believes and prays, goes to mass every now and then. Cadash meanwhile goes through an arc. At first they’re overall pretty neutral, it’s just the human religion, but as they become the Herald they start to believe it, kind of. But yeah they end up having a way more complicated relationship, which makes sense! They are the Herald after all.

6. Attitudes towards the Qun?

Surana has a complicated relationship, he was very close with Sten, and hearing many of the beliefs he rather liked it. Of course, he’s a mage, so there is no chance of him converting. But he respects it, understands it. Hawke considers them inhuman monsters, rather racist about it all tbh, but he hates them. Cadash also has complex feelings though, they became friends with Bull, and then saved the Chargers and watchers Bull become Tal-Vashoth. But at the end of the day, the Qun are a powerful ally and a dangerous enemy.

13. Thoughts on the Grey Warden order?

Surana at first likes the wardens a fare amount, but things get harder as he becomes more official and learns of other sects. The fact that it is traditional for each group of wardens to only have 1 mage? The fact that many of the warden higher ups were angered by his decision to spare the Architect? What he learns during that time? And now he seeks a cure. It’s complicated, but at the end of the day they are his people, and he is a warden before he is a mage, a warden before he is an elf. Hawke meanwhile doesn’t trust them, first everything he learns from Anders doesn’t sound great, next he was on the battlefield and saw the Wardens in the tower were late and then Loghain betrayed him, and finally the whole shit with his father and Coryphyshit.

23. Do they have, or want to have, children?

Surana has a child with Morrigan! Kieran is also the old god baby. He also has technically ended up adopting a dwarf kid (you know that woman in Orzammar who promises you her child when he comes to age?). And he’s also kind of a godfather to Oghren’s little blighted with Felsi. He never considered having children before all of this, he barely had an interest in sex or romance and then he ended up being gay. So children? So it’s funny that he has the most kids! Hawke has no kids, he doesn’t really want kids due to his own childhood, and he was also with Anders, so… not happening. And finally Cadash! They do want kids, but during the course of DAI they don’t have any. I might decide that they’ll have kids after? I do know however that they consider Sera and Cole their kiddos, kind of.

[sharksa-shivers]

Trio derps and religion cuz ye

Kristy: She's agnostic as in.......She has 0 clue wtf happens whenever she dies...But uhhhh she's VERY VERY HOPEFUL that there's something afterwards and she's not gonna just poof out of existence entirely... Sharky: He's Neptunist, an undersea religion. There's various religions that are in the sea, some seafolk believe in landie religions anddddd some seafolk believe in nothing. Neptinists/Neptunism is a p big thing in series tho i will not say why lol, no spoilers for you!! What i can say is Neptunists have a few diff beliefs: -They were given life by Neptune along with their parents. Life is sacred and not to be taken for granted. -Neptunists also believe in several goddesses that help Neptune take care of the world/universe. Sharky himself is pretty to himself about his beliefs, kind of how Neptunists are in general, but it does come up sometimes lol so yeahhhhh. Max: He's that athiest...THAT KIND of atheist that's a jackass...Though Max will only be a jackass if somebody gives him a reason in that regard...Other then that, Max will be respectful of others...Tho he won't be quiet about his beliefs either lol... Max also thinks if there IS a God, that God hates him IN PARTICULAR... Fedora tipping intensifies ---------------------- BONUS: (p sure i've posted before butttttttt idc lol, it fits here...Also below bit is still p goddamn accurate so yeah lol) --- (Earlier moment during an earlier mission, idk the context, kinda just convo xd)

Kristy:(curious as they move through like an older area of some sort, idk, maybe it's like a gravelike area or some shit, asking, anxiety kinda in her voice)Hey, Sharky? Do you believe in ghosts? Cuz…I do…

Sharky:(nods, trying to be quite and respectful as they go through the area, walking carefully)I mean…I'm a Neptunist, so…Yeah? Kinda? I believe that Neptune made us all and he's made heaven, hell and purgatory…So in my thoughts, ghosts are people who just…Never find a way to any of those, they're just lost souls either by accident or by choice cuz your spirit would be your consciousness so yeah…

Kristy:(thinking, nervousy still)Dunno how that's supposed to really make me feel better about going through here…

Max:(chiming in, atheist mode activated, trying to comfort Kristy)Gonna be kind of an ass here maybe but uhhh, you can feel relived in knowing that none of that's true sooooooooooo-

Sharky:(annoyed with Max making things worse as well as shitting on his religion)Can you maybe not?

Max:(continues anyway)Nah, cuz i'm sorry, ghosts and spirits and all that shit just ain't real. We're born, we live, we die and that's it, blep. Eternal sleepy blackout whenever our lifeclocks hit 0.

Kristy:(anxiety spiking)Hahahahaha, this REALLY isn't helping me feel better, i feel like I'm just having a panic over there being no afterlife now and my existence just fucking stopping, fuck fuck, oh god…

Sharky:(irritated at Max)Max shut the hell up, you aren't helping. (looks at Kristy, kind, comforting)Look, the ghosts that would be here are probably pretty chill ok? I promise, there's nothing to worry about ok?

Kristy:(nervous)You sure? What if they are angry and pissed off and-

Sharky:(kindly)I doubt it ok? This seems like a pretty old spot so…If any are still around, i doubt they're gonna just attack random people for no reason…

[justabumatthepark]

Rusty

I'm saying, you know, like

All I ever told you to do was grow up, don't grow down

You know, like, you know, grow up

Don't grow down, grow out

You go from being a kid, just doing your thing, hanging out with friends

Months later, you're world famous

You're a gay rights activist, and you don't even know it

You know what? I don't wanna say it to you no more, Tyler

Fuck you, Tyler!

Watch me get this money, nigga, tired of being hungry, nigga

Nothing funny, sass me while I'm thrashing, I'ma punch a nigga

Never made of plastic, I'm a savage, you look lunch, my nigga

Passing all you hating fucking fags we don't discuss, my nigga

We ain't on no jolly shit, and we don't pop no Mollies, bitch

I'm hocking, spitting got some niggas out here popping Ollie switch

Buncha novices, Odd Future the squad is thick

Them young niggas is back and brash, attacking with no common sense

We the last of a dying breed

And we don't give a fuck, so we cannot supply your needs

You stupid niggas who had said our hype is dying, please

My pockets solid, making profit off the highest tees

Bitch, merch twerk as I get on the verse, cursing

Nigga Dom so cool, I refer him in third person

Watch me get this money, I'm up when the birds chirping

Make actions, fuck rehearsing

Nigga, summer, fall, wintertime, 24, 365

You niggas gon' give me mine, I don't have plenty time

Flying out at any time, getting money, any grind

You niggas gon' give me mine, you niggas gon' give me mine

Summer, fall, wintertime, 24, 365

You niggas gon' give me mine, 'cause I don't have plenty time

Flying out at any time, getting money, any grind

You niggas gon' give me mine, you niggas gon' give me mine

In a world where kids my age are popping Mollies with leather

Sitting on Tumblr, never outside or enjoying the weather

Can name a sweater, but not a talent or don't know if whether

Or not they got one, tried to change their life for the better

I was the drama club kid, I run where the fun did, my nuts itched

I was defiant, always said, "Fuck shit"

Hated the popular ones, now I'm the popular one

Also hated homes too, 'til I start coppin' me some

See, I don't beez in the trap, nigga, I beez in the b's

And I be gassing up my buzz like some bees at a Shell

Fucking sick and getting bigger like I sneezed on Adele

And bitches getting touchy-feely like they reading some Braille

I bust quick like gun-holders with short tempers, and well

I tried to tell the kids, like fuck it, start being yourself

These fucking rappers got stylists 'cause they can't think for themselves

See, they don't have an identity, so they needed some help, but

Really, boy? Posers looking silly, boy

I'm in that past season 'Preme shit, older than Tity Boi

Not a diss, but same with ice cream, my shit is Diddy Riese

Na'kel Smith, Transworld page 64

Poppin' like oil ollie in fire flames

I'm harder than DJ Khaled playing the fucking quiet game

The fuck am I saying? Tyler's not even a violent name

About as threatening as stained windbreakers in hurricanes

But he rapes women, and spit wrong, like he hates dentists

God-damn menace, 666 and he's not finished

And my shit's missing, he hates women, but love kittens?

See y'all niggas tripping, man

Look at that article that says my subject matter is wrong

Saying I hate gays even though Frank is on ten of my songs

Look at that Mom who thinks I'm evil, hold that grudge against me

Though I'm the reason that her motherfucking son got to eat

Look at the kid who had the .9 and tried to blow out his mind

But talk is money, I said, "Hi, " I guess I bought him some time

Look at the ones in the crowd, that shit is barnacles, huh?

They thought I wasn't fair until I threw a carnival, huh?

But then again, I'm an atheist that just worships Satan

And it's probably why I'm not getting no fucking album placements

And MTV could suck my dick, and I ain't fuckin' playing

Bruh, they never played it, I just won shit for they fucking ratings

"Analog" fans are getting sick of the rape

All the "Tron Cat" fans are getting sick of the lakes

But what about me, bitch? I'm getting sick of complaints

But I don't hate it when I'm taking daily trips to the bank

Oh, but no but, shit, who really gives a fuck what I think?

My fans don't, they turning on me, shit, they're almost extinct

Fuck buying studio time, I'ma go purchase a shrink

Record the session and send all you motherfuckers a link, bitch

Nigga, summer, fall, wintertime, 24, 365

You niggas gon' give me mine, I don't have plenty time

Flying out at any time, getting money, any grind

You niggas gon' give me mine, you niggas gon' give me mine

Summer, fall, wintertime, 24, 365

You niggas gon' give me mine, 'cause I don't have plenty time

Flying out at any time, getting money, any grind

You niggas gon' give me mine, you niggas gon' give me mine

This shit just like the nights I look forward to not remembering

So much for being sober, I hope that you can forgive me

But Momma, I'm close to the edge as possible (why don't you jump, you fucking pussy?)

All I'm seeing is the drop in my ocular, jumping like they told me

That the 40's half off, like you know that cliff

Don't need a therapist to tell him he could float that shit (fucking faggot)

Or get compared to fucking pair with all the program kids

So maybe a pair of pale bitches for the gonads lick (I'll show you)

Malt liquor filling me up, and all us not giving no fucks and

All of them sensitive chumps in awe when that pistol erupts (pistol, I got one!)

Dirty one spitting that sumpy raw till his wrists in the cuffs

Bitch got us- (oh, shut the fuck up!)

Samuel's here! Where's Wolf? Fucking faggot

Salem was mine, bitch! Was that good enough, you fucking pussy?

[trickarrows-bishop]

john mulaney's horse bit (this is about the US's friend donald) is weirdly applicable to warrior nun and ava.

camila: i don't know if you've been following the news, but it seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything, all the time. i try to be a little optimistic, even though i will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

here's how i try to look at it, and this is just me.

this girl being the halo-bearer.

it's like there's a horse loose in the hospital. it's like there's a horse loose in the hospital. i think eventually everything's gonna be okay, but i have no idea what's gonna happen next! and neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there's a HORSE! LOOSE IN THE HOSPITAL! no-one knows what the horse is gonna do next, least of all the horse. she's never been in the hospital before. she's just as confused as you are.

there's no experts, they try to bring in experts. they're like, "we're joined now by someone who once saw a pigeon in the cat's cradle" like get out of here with that shit, we've all seen a pigeon in the cat's cradle, this is a horse, loose in the hospital!

when a horse is in the hospital, you gotta stay updated, like oh, what's the horse doin', what's the horse doin'. the updates, they're not always bad, sometimes they're just odd. "the horse ran away again".... i didn't know she knew how to do that.

the creepiest days are when you don't hear from the horse at all. down in the armory, you're like, "has anyone, uh... has anyone heard the-" [sound of distant gunfire]

those are those quiet days when you're like, "oh, it looks like the horse has finally calmed down!" and the horse is like "i will kick the ever-loving shit out of you because i am the GODDAMN WARRIOR NU—" and we're like "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU'D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKIN HORSE."

then you go to brunch with lilith, and she's like "an atheist should not be the halo-bearer" and i'm like "WE'RE WELL PAST THAT." but at the same time she's like, "well if the halo-bearer is so weak i'm going to beat the shit out of her in training", and those don't match up at all.

and then for a second it seems like maybe we could survive the horse, but then in another dimension, a boy whose grown into a man in two months was like, "i am a nuclear bomb! and me and ava have to destroy adriel!" and before we could say anything, beatrice was like "if you even fucking look at ava i will stab you to death with my bō! i dare you to do it, i WANT you to do it, so i can stab you to death with my bō, i'm so fucking devoted" and the boy was like "you think you're devoted? i'm a fucking nuclear bomb, i'm ready to die for my god, i'm fucking CRAZY!" and all of us are like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

and then for a second we're like, maybe our beloved mary can catch the horse? but then mary comes back and says "i let the horse go free" .... SHE CAN DO THAT?!

oh my fucking GOD ??? HOLY SHIT . YEAH . OH .

[perpetual-fool]

Change

(12/17/22, 1k) I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't know who I am. I feel like I've never seen this place before. My skin tingles like I've never touched anything. My mind is quiet. I feel like I'm drifting through a fog.

I've come a long way to get here. My memories are all fuzzy and gray, I've blocked out most of them. As far back as I can remember I was always suppressing everything. I felt that all my feelings were somehow wrong, and no thought I had was thought out enough. I would just reflexively feel guilty and hate myself over everything and anything. It's pretty common to catch myself saying some variation of "you fucking piece of shit", "fucking kill yourself", or "you belong in hell".

In my early life I wasn't allowed to think, just memorize and obey. Whenever I had questions I was either told I was wrong or that it would be explained later. When I got to college they still weren't explaining things. I had a crisis of faith and dropped out. I got a crash course on logic from The Atheist Experience and started thinking for myself, ostensibly. I was still deferent to others' opinions though. If someone disagreed with me then I thought I must be wrong and they must know something I don't. So I would ask, usually they would be offended and occasionally they would say something that doesn't make sense. And I was starting from a foundation of others' ideas. If I didn't know anything I would essentially just accept what I was told. But the way I think, every version of the thing has to be coherent. So if one person has one version of a theory that works, and another person has a differing version that also works, then whatever is actually true has to encompass both theories. Or at least, has to be able to be mistaken for them. And ultimately, that never worked. Ideas kept breaking down until I was left with only the things I had observed personally. It's not impossible for me to use someone else's data, it's just very uncommon that the data is good enough.

And I tried finding someone, anyone, with whom I could build an understanding on those terms. I tried therapists, I tried everyone I knew, I met new people and failed with them. I researched every quirk I might have and sought out forums of those types of people. Finally I found myself at the end of the internet, among the outcasts of outcasts, a quiet little place where the hopeless go to commiserate. And still I found no one like me. I know now that I am alone.

Strangely, I started feeling things, being more expressive. I guess there's no need to keep things buried if there's no one to hide from. Mostly it was bad, things I regret, things I hate myself for for being unable to figure out. And I felt a new kind of despair. It was quiet, cold, felt like an anvil was sitting on my chest. It felt like my heart wanted to stop beating. And when I wasn't feeling that my heart was wrenching in my chest. After about three days of that I ended up in the hospital again. I'm predisposed to heart rhythm issue and stress can be a significant factor, supposedly. It certainly correlates in my experience at least. And riding back home at two in the morning, I decided I just can't do this anymore. I can't go on hating myself.

Although I'm not sure how to do anything else. I could just try to flip the words on my negative self-talk, but that wouldn't really mean anything. I don't really enjoy anything anymore, and I don't think I've ever been proud of anything. Nothing has ever been engaging at the level I need. I don't really have anything to feel good about. So I've just been trying to let my feelings take the reins. Music is probably the thing I've engaged with the most, collectively, so I'm trying to learn that on my own terms. But I got distracted over feelings about the past. I'm afraid someone from my past life is going to come to pull my halo down at some point. And I don't really have any good answers for my behavior.

Emotionally, I've always tried to suppress everything, more or less. So when someone has seen me expressive, it's generally been when I've completely lost control. And a couple times earlier on I tried to just trust people with everything. I think V, Hans, and Ash saw that. The reason was much the same as with my thinking. I assumed I was wrong, I wanted them to tell me why it was wrong and how to be right. And that also never worked. I couldn't figure out what to say, what I shouldn't say, when to stop. They didn't give me the feedback I needed. I don't know how to process it. To be morally wrong implies intent, right? Like, I throw a stick at someone, that's wrong; I throw a stick and someone walks into its path, that's an accident. Or in this case, I throw a stick and don't know what will happen once it leaves my hand. What would you call that? It's not something anyone else ever cared about. I guess I'm also trying to figure this out on other people's terms. So I guess I need to work out morality on my own terms too. Though ironically that would have to entail others' intent being irrelevant, since no one is capable of understanding me.

That aside, I'm feeling pretty good. Starting to at least. I feel warm, for once.

[lightingway]

questions sourced from here 🤍

WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE’S VOICE SOUND LIKE? HIGH-PITCHED? SCRATCHY? DEEP?

his voice is on the deeper side of average and typically more smooth (dependent upon mood and tiredness). the closest i have to a voice claim is matt lanter.

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S HANDWRITING LIKE? IS IT NEAT? SLOPPY? FANCY?

it is so sloppy. barely legible at best. being left-handed, he started out at a disadvantage that he scarcely sought to correct. haste and carelessness suits him fine where writing is concerned. he won’t hear any complaints though, because he can read it.

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SMILE LIKE? DO THEY SMILE OFTEN?

he’s not all smiles all the time (he never fakes them), but smirks and half-smiles are common enough in the right company. full smiles are much rarer, but they are bright, with teeth!

HOW DOES YOUR MUSE REACT TO POSSIBLY DANGEROUS SITUATIONS? DO THEY FACE THEM HEAD-ON, OR DO THEY PLAN OUT THEIR ACTIONS FIRST?

wes is the patron saint of making shit up as he goes. he’s not an absolute idiot (raf voice: all evidence to the contrary!) in that he does take enough time for a cursory observation of his surroundings, but then he’s on the move and winging it, action to reaction. wes is a thrill-seeker at heart and will take danger as it comes — the rush, the adrenaline, the free fall. hitting the ground is acceptable collateral damage.

HOW WELL DOES YOUR MUSE SLEEP?

without abusing some substance or another to get him (and keep him) there, it’s not easy. he sees too much, thinks too much, remembers too much, and just generally has a bad time! however, when he is in a state conducive to falling asleep, he can do so just about anywhere (a handy side effect of exhaustion, yes, but he’s not fussy regardless). he falls asleep more easily than usual during the reaping, but it generally doesn’t last, as (mostly) sober wes is still a light sleeper. which is unfortunate because of the — you know — gunfire and explosions at holy war typical intervals. the shouting and the screaming and the whatnot. it’s fine. he’s fine.

WHAT ARE YOUR MUSE’S THOUGHTS ON LOVE? IF THEY ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, DO THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL EVER FIND A PERFECT SOMEONE FOR THEM?

he doesn’t lead with the assumption of a “perfect someone” or a soulmate or anything of that nature, though he could potentially be convinced after the fact. as far as he’s concerned, you either choose to stay or you don’t. you fight for it or you don’t. fate can’t do that for you.

DOES YOUR MUSE SING WELL? REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY SING WELL OR NOT, DO THEY ENJOY SINGING?

his singing voice is better than you would expect. indeed, most people would have no idea he sings at all. he couldn’t sell records, but if he sang you a lullaby you wouldn’t be disappointed. does he enjoy it? yeah, but it’s not a hobby he pursues with any serious intent. it’s company when he’s lonely, a comfort when he’s scared. wes hates to admit it, but he’s highly claustrophobic — he’s never even owned a car, just a motorcycle — and the distraction helps. cue him singing three little birds to himself every time he has to clear a backyard bunker.

DOES YOUR MUSE PREFER LOTS OF FRIENDS OR JUST A FEW CLOSE ONES?

just a few close ones! wes is an introvert for sure (isfp as hell) and though he’s not anti-social, he is quiet, reserved, and he has never been good at reaching out first. for better or worse, wes waits for people to come to him.

IS YOUR MUSE RELIGIOUS?

not with any sort of intent. he was raised catholic, but he’s since distanced himself from it. however, his (apparent) lack of belief stems more from fear and denial than an atheist’s assumption that things like god and destiny are illogical. he’s worried about what those things would mean for him, so he opts to dismiss them with varying degrees of success.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

okay, you absolutely don't have to answer this if you wouldn't like to, but i am very curious about the funny story about your best friend's suicide???

OKAY THIS IS THE STORY

so just for the record this was @aquietrevolutionary who I actually do still follow even though she died in 2017 but ANYWAY OKAY THIS IS UNDER A CUT BECAUSE IT'S VERY LONG

also, like, content warning for death/suicide/mental health stuff. obviously.

so, just for background information: I was roommates with her for almost our entire college experience so I knew her and her parents really well. her mom was very friendly but also an evangelical Christian who thought fantasy fiction was witchcraft, and her dad was also nice but an atheist libertarian who was extremely pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps. unsurprisingly, they were divorced.

I definitely played up the Extremely Modest And Conservatively Religious vibe I tend to give off due to my fashion choices and hairstyle when I was around them, so they also really liked me. this + the fact that I was her best friend meant that, at one point, she made me her emergency contact and gave me her parents' telephone numbers in case something happened to her.

[narrator voice] this was foreshadowing.

after we graduated, several things happened to tank her mental health that are too long to get into, but basically, she'd already been hospitalized once because she had an extremely active plan (as in "had bought a gun and was sending out goodbye texts"). so her having shit mental health was a known thing, but she'd been talked off the ledge at least once before. so when I heard from a friend of hers that she hadn't posted to tumblr in days and had skipped a planned D&D session, I called in a welfare check on the non-emergency line in her city.

that was a Saturday night. I didn't hear anything from the cops all Sunday. Sunday evening I called them back to be like, "Um yes excuse me could you let me know if my friend is alive????" and the cop who was on the phone with me was like "oh yeah, she's dead. do you have any contacts for her next of kin?"

oh boy DID I. but I had them in the notes app of my phone, and I couldn't find it & stay on the call at the same time, so I asked to call them back in five minutes while I found the numbers. when I called back in five minutes, the same cop said, exact words: "oh, we don't need that information anymore, someone's already been notified."

oh cool! they must have found her dad's contact info and already called him! (narrator voice: this is also foreshadowing) so I call him and leave a voicemail along the lines of, "Hi, Mr. Revolutionary, this is BB, Quiet's roommate, I'm so sorry about what happened." I get a call an hour later from him being like "hi BB uh can you tell me what in the hell you're talking about," because he'd literally just gotten off a plane from a vacation in Hawaii and the first voicemail he listened to when he got off the plane was an incredibly ominous voicemail from me.

SPOILER ALERT: HE HAD NOT BEEN CONTACTED. I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO TELL HIM SHE DIED.

I still do not know who the fuck the cops contacted, unless they meant that they'd contacted me, which 1) they hadn't contacted me, I called them, and 2) I'd literally only been off the phone with them for five minutes. I know it wasn't her job, her dad, her mom, her sister, or anyone else in her immediate circle. so like, all I can think of is that the cop got off the phone with me, ticked some little box that said "emergency contact notified" somewhere, and then immediately forgot the entire conversation he'd had with me five minutes prior.

so now – because I'm the one person that everyone who knew her also knew and I'm also the person who called in the welfare check and hey, I've already done it once! – I'M NOW THE DESIGNATED DEATH ANNOUNCER. so I'm the one who got called up by her job to ask where she was, and also the person who had to break the news to all our mutual friends, and also the one who sent in her death notice to our alma mater, and for NINE MONTHS AFTERWARDS I was STILL getting Facebook messages from people like, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize she was dead! let's talk about her for an hour, stranger!" because that's my job now, I guess.

BUT IT GETS WORSE

I took the weekend to go to her funeral, and like. I was in law school. I didn't have a lot of funeral-appropriate attire. so I was wearing my one black sort of business dress that's really thick and hot, and the funeral was in Virginia in September so it was basically summer, and I had to wear it to the airport because I wouldn't have time to change before the funeral. so I show up at her mom's house for the funeral pre-game dressed like, you know, someone who's going to a funeral, and everyone else is in, like. tie-dyed T-shirts and jeans. somehow, I managed to be overdressed AT A FUCKING FUNERAL.

BUT NO. IT GETS WORSE.

for the next...... hour? or so? I had a VERY awkward conversation with her mother on her porch about why she thought her daughter had killed herself. her personal theory was that she'd [sinful thing redacted out of respect for her mom asking me not to repeat it] and felt so guilty about it that she had to kill herself. (she had not-completely-speculative reasons for this theory but it was incredibly unlikely if you knew my roommate well at all)

and I'm sitting there sweating my ass off like "how the fuck do I tell this woman that not only do I know all the gory details of her daughter's life and can guarantee that what she thinks happened did not happen but also that I'm 99% sure the reason she killed herself is because she felt like she'd never experience sex or romantic love because honestly sometimes she was a little bit of an incel and yet also somehow maintain the illusion that I am an innocent neophyte who thinks bare knees are sinful and would never discuss such a thing???"

anyway I and her family and our friends all went to the funeral (which I found incredibly ironic because she was an adamant atheist and yet they kept saying she was "in the arms of Jesus"), and then my friends and I went out for Chinese food, and then we went back to our respective accommodations.

now, again, going to the funeral was an emergency situation. I wasn't exactly booking a vacation here. so I'd booked a $50/night motel room nearish the airport because it was cheap and available.

this was a mistake.

at like 4 AM, there's someone fucking banging on my door. it was a lady who was very clearly intoxicated (unsure if she was drunk or high or both but she was NOT aware), and apparently she thought that my motel room was someone else's, because she's like, "LET ME IN, BABY! BABY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! BABY, I'M SORRY! LET ME IN!"

so like. okay. I've just spent the past week being Death's Telephone Operator while also going to my 3L classes and clinic and trying to write a eulogy for someone who doesn't actually feel dead to me yet. I showed up to this funeral dressed like Morticia Adams at a business conference when apparently the dress code was T-shirts and jeans and no one told me. I had the incredibly awkward experience of trying to not reveal every intimate detail of my dead friend's life to her fucking mother while also trying to give her support and closure. and now some drunk lady is trying to break into my motel room to find her boyfriend or some shit.

anyway that's how I ended up at a Waffle House at 7 AM, because my life was a complete shambles at the moment but Waffle Houses are a constant and I hadn't been to one since starting law school and GOD IF I'M ALLOWED TO ENJOY ONE THING THIS WEEKEND IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING WAFFLE HOUSE.

[amazinglyegg]

Fallout 4 Companions (+ the dlc ones pls) react to finding out the sole survivor is actually a God? (Like Loki or smth) Maybe ss shows off their God powers and keeps making jokes about how being decapitated for witchcraft is not fun at all, and such the like?

Oh man this one’s fun! I’m sorry if the DLC characters (especially Ada and Gage) are OOC because I don’t have Nukaworld or Automatron yet :’)

Fallout 4 Companions React: Sole is a God

Cait: “Yeah, okay, and I’m fucking Santa Clause - hoLY SHITE”. Wouldn’t believe you until you really show her your abilities, still finds it hard to believe because what the fuck. Probably a bit intimidated by your strength but will never show it. She doesn’t appreciate being out-shined in battle, and responds to most of your jokes like “Yeah, yeah, stop rubbing it in.”

Codsworth: I’d like to think he’d just acts as if it’s normal. Like, whatever in his training/program teaches him not to treat people differently for how they look or act, so he just kinda roles with it. When Sole shoots lightning down from the sky or whatever he’ll cheer them on like they just made a good sniper shot. Sole: Yeah being tied up and thrown in a lake in 1856 wasn’t very fun :( Codsworth: Aha, I can only imagine! Such a life you have... Everyone else: w-what

Curie: Very torn. On one hand, she’s an atheist, and would doubt you’re really a God at first (”My scientific notes say nothing about the existence of higher beings!”) but also... the proof is right in front of her. At first she may try summing it up to radiation or something similar, but after a while of studies and tests she’ll come to realize that the only logical conclusion is... well, you’re truly a God. Easy to change her mind once she has enough time to study you, she won’t try to deny facts, and trusts you easily.

Danse: He knows what to do when it comes to ghouls and synths, but Elder Maxson has never said anything about GODS. He’ll talk to Maxson before giving you the rank of initiate, maybe just a bit scared of your power. Once he gets to know you I feel like he may be a bit... jealous? Like, you don’t need to train or work out at all, just a snap of your fingers and your enemies are dead. He may try to persuade you to kill people “the Brotherhood way” when you’re out doing a mission together, especially if you usually use your powers on weaker enemies.

Deacon: Holy shit!! That’s cool, man. He may not believe your a God, per say, but whatever those powers are, they’re cool, so he’ll roll with it. Maybe not the best for blending in, but you’re a literal God, so who cares. He’ll take it in stride, probably shoves it in other peoples faces like “Yeah, my besties a God, so what?” He’ll probably pretend he’s a God as well, and go along with all the jokes and stories you tell. No wonder he wanted you to join the Railroad.

Hancock: You’ll shapeshift or something and he’ll be like “haha holy shit were my drugs laced with something?” and then you’ll snap your fingers and Finn will just, explode, and he’ll be like “oh fuCK”. He thinks you are So. Cool, cheers you on during battle, always wants to see your powers (as long as you’re using them for good.) Probably makes comments about you being his new bodyguard while travelling together, or you being Goodneighbors guardian angel. Likes it when the two of you get into a bit of mischief.

MacCready: Probably terrified, lets be honest. He wouldn’t believe you as you tell jokes and may even get annoyed at your persistence to this dumb God story, but once you show him your power he’ll be a bit scared for his life. I mean, why would you hire a mercenary when you’re a literal GOD!? Once you two become friends he’ll find it amazing, “like a real life Grognak!” A little annoyed if you keep stealing his kills, though

Nick: “Welp, I may need to re-evaluate my religion.” He’ll believe you once you show an example of your power, but he’s shocked and honestly finds it all pretty ridiculous, shrugs it off as impressed. He likes it when you talk about your past (mis)adventures, and likes watching you use your powers. Like Hancock, may make guardian angel jokes, and he takes the jokes you make in good faith once he gets used to them.

Piper: “Haha, okay, nice magic trick, blue. I can’t even see the strings holding you up or something. There’s no way you can really fly... right?” It would take a long time of questioning and having to show proof before she believes you, she keeps trying to find the “secret” behind all your “magic tricks”. Once you’ve successfully proved it to her, though, she is so amazed. Asking for details on all your powers, how you’ve used them, watch out what you say because she will put anything in the papers if you’re not careful.

Preston: I feel like there’d be a bit of child-like amazement; Think of Prestons' quotes while flying a vertibird for example. He may be a bit nervous at first but once he knows you use your powers for good he just asks you don’t abuse them too much. Probably a bit jealous. Asks so many questions about your past and your immortality, any joke you tell will result in you giving him a history lesson.

Strong: Could you turn a supermutant religious? Probably not. But he’s never seen anyone stronger than a supermutant before, so he’s pretty damn amazed. Makes you leader, but doesn’t really like it if you use your powers to, lets say snap someone out of existence. He prefers you using super strength or something similar to make a bloody mess, anything else makes his head hurt. Tells his brothers about you, but chances are they wouldn’t believe him.

X6-88: “This... shouldn’t be scientifically possible.” If Shaun doesn’t have any of these powers X6 would be very... perturbed. He may talk you into getting medical evaluations at the Institute, anything to try to explain your powers. If Shaun does have some form of these powers he will be so hyped to travel with you. “Nice one, sir / ma’am / Mx” “You’re more terrifying than a courser”. I don’t think he responds to jokes normally, so chances are he’d just be awkwardly quiet if you tell them.

Ada: “That is quite the feat, sir / ma’am / mx”. She would try to act formal and brush it off, but she would be so bewildered at every new power. Probably ends up being like “So how do you do it? I mean, there has to be some sort of logical explanation...” It will take a while for her to believe you’re a God.

Gage: “Shit, boss. That’s... holy shit.” Probably the “mark me down as scared AND horny” meme, he’s impressed and excited that the overboss has this much power, but also at the same time the overboss has THIS much power. Maybe too much power? He’ll try not to get on your bad side - if any old raider will kill you for looking at them the wrong way, what will YOU do?

Old Longfellow: Refuses to believe any jokes/stories you tell, at best just laughs them off and at worst starts to think you’ve gone a bit mad due to the fog. He’s been alive for too long to be tricked by anything like tha- did you just pick up a car!? He’s skeptical at first like “Are you sure you’re not fucking with me?” but he really can’t deny what’s right in front of him. Doesn’t really know how or if to compliment you other than a “holy shit”

[consulaaris]

SHEPHERDS OF HAVEN RECRUIT FORM - RHIANNON VASI

(template by @shepherds-of-haven !)

.

BIOGRAPHICAL INFO

name + nicknames: rhiannon vasi - rhia (by red, and later the other shepherds), sunshine/frosty/ice-queen (by chase)

titles: captain of the shepherds, the hero of haven, the dragonslayer

callsign: aethereal (possibly glacier)

gender: cis woman

sexuality: bisexual

pronouns: she/her

racial heritage: hunter

age + flower day: 28 years + 12 leph (winter)

height: 5’3” (160cm)

“a female mage with waist-length tousled raven hair and attractive stormy grey eyes. you're wearing your shepherds uniform and sun medallion. you have a streak of white in your hair as a result of your hunter heritage, and your cloak sports a golden eagle clasp.”

.

BACKGROUND INFO

weapon: daggers

magic specialization: elementalist (aetherai)

birthplace: maj

education: circle-trained

.

MISCELLANEOUS INFO

past jobs: freelance mercenary, bodyguard, library assistant, tavern waitress (that one lasted like, a solid day and a half before she blew up on a rude customer)

likes: fancy cloaks, books, khav, stargazing, sweets & baked goods, picnics, cats, snowy or rainy weather, quiet days, inside jokes, cuddling with her friends & loved ones

dislikes: people prying into her past, pickled vegetables, enclosed and/or crowded spaces, swimming, being Known™ in haven

strengths: magic (both brute force & controlled), knife-fighting, working with children, speed, cleverness, quick-thinking, introspectiveness, honesty

weaknesses: social situations, overly stubborn, past injuries (particularly on her hands) sometimes make it hard to fight physically, brute strength, holds grudges, emotionally repressed + PTSD, has a major guilt complex & will push people away/get herself into dangerous situations to “protect them” (doesn’t consider her own safety to be an important thing, essentially)

hobbies + special skills: wood carving, studying magic/history/astronomy, writing poetry, impressive gambling skills (she’s good at people reading and has a great poker face; she just struggles when she has to like. actually talk LOL)

major arcana: the hermit

dnd morality alignment: chaotic neutral/true neutral; leans towards the good side there, though

meyers-briggs personality type: intj-t

.

PERSONALITY

heart of gold / will of iron (it’s a 52-48 split- very close)

rebellious / loyal

independent / social

tactful / straightforward

bold / cautious

charming / stoic / intimidating

witty / sincere

resentful / forgiving

self-preserving / self-sacrificing (rhia claims she’s self-preserving, but she’s really... not)

book-smart / street-smart

one-god / atheist / old faith

bright mind / silver tongue / razor wits / nerves of steel

overall personality: although as a child/teen she was confident and playful, ten years of life alone and on the run have hardened rhia and caused her to retreat into her shell. she’s always been headstrong and stubborn, but now she tends to come across as rather prickly or icy to people she doesn’t know or trust. when you do get to know her though, it’s clear she’s more awkward than intentionally mean, although her personality can still come off as snarky or abrasive when she’s in uncomfortable situations or around unfamiliar faces. rhia can be a bit temperamental at times, but (though she’s convinced otherwise) she’s a good person with a kind heart who’s incredibly protective of those she cares about, no matter how much she may try to deny or bury it- she never asked for the powers to save the world, but she’ll be damned if she won’t do it... regardless of the cost to herself. she blames herself entirely for the loss of her village and is terrified of hurting the people she loves like that again, but joining the shepherds is the biggest catalyst for rhia trying her best to open up once more. though she’s always cared for them in her own way she’s now beginning to truly trust them, and with red around she’s slowly starting to show her softer side again, too.

.

RELATIONSHIPS

best friend(s): red antiqua, halek prince, riel syndran, briony stormbreaker, caine

preferred mission partner(s): red, halek, blade (they butt heads, but rhia trusts his work ethic lolol), and ayla or briony. generally a team that she trusts to get stuff done & won’t give her a heart attack (i.e. working with chase or trouble can be fun, but rhia is Stressed)

friendly rival(s): probably chase a little bit, just because they tend to snark at each other a lot. they’re good friends though! she and ayla also get a little competitive since they’re both elementalists, but it’s the type of rivalry that pushes them both to improve.

love interest(s): red antiqua (ex and current)

first kiss scenario: okay but the fact that i could 100% see that being their first kiss as teenagers + a possible first kiss once they get back together... good shit. (and i do have a WIP where rhia gets injured... 🤔)

enemies: ebert, the endarkened, the autarchy, moonsilk (not really she’s just big mad + halek is her bff ajsjjsjsj)

.

REFERENCE QUOTES

“she’s got a passion for learning, that one. miss vasi was the best assistant i’ve had in ages, and though i often found her reading on the job she always finished her work. very detail oriented, too, although i do wish she hadn’t left so suddenly. it always did feel like she was running from something.” (- librarian from an unnamed city in Blest)

“rhiannon’s vicious in a fight, i’ll give ‘er that much. she’s not exactly the most chatty o’ folks, but if yer looking for a good bodyguard you ain’t getting’ much better than ‘er.” (- fellow mercenary)

“i think she might hold the record for the shortest amount of time a waitress ever worked here. to be fair, i don’t really blame her for throwing a drink in that man’s face and threatening to shove her foot up his you-know-where when he made that comment, but business is business.” (- owner of an inn in an unnamed city in Blest)

“rhia was always at the top of our class in the circle; she was confident and funny, and even when she got in trouble it was clear the teachers loved her! she was always happy to help anyone with their work, too- or anything really. she was great fun, one of the good ones. i do wonder what happened in those years she was gone though, because seeing her again, it was like she was almost... sad. like a light all burnt out. i hope she’s alright; i’ve been a little worried, and i know red and neon have too. red especially, if you catch my drift.” (-panrachus )

[scvrllet]

If you're still doing these, could I get a 🎫 concert ticket for Harry Potter and Once Upon A Time?

Glad to have found your blog!!!

I'm Lucifer, but people call me Luci or Luce, I'm 21 (22 in September), I identifiy somewhere around the nonbinary category, but I see gender as something trivial. I'm a panromantic demisexual and prefer they/her pronouns. 6'3 tall, long wavy blonde hair, black eyes. I wear glasses and usually skirts with old band t-shirts (that I actually listen to).

I always have a bunch or rings around my fingers as well as multiple ear piercings. I'm super pale, to the point that people often ask me if I'm sick.

I'm introverted, but I can be a social butterfly if required. I love listening as much as talking. I never really talk about emotions/feelings but anything else I'mhappy to chat about. I don't really react to things apart from my facial expressions. The lift of an brow, a smirk or an eye-roll will let you know how I feel about things without verbal confirmation. I'm always calm and collected, and my voice stays monotonous no matter what ; I don't stutter, yell or scream.

I'm highly intelligent and very sarcastic, and rarely laugh outloud, but smirk a lot. I might come across as rude and blunt but on the inside I am a softie, just don't show it often.

I love literature (especially classic), arts and learning languages (I currently speak 18). I'm also musically very inclined. I study History and mythology. When it comes to hobbies, I read and collect lots of things things such as lighters, tarot cards, night lights, rocks/crystals and books.

I have four siblings and am the oldest, but I don't really keep in touch with my family that much. I have a few good friends (2 or 3) and I don't even really need much more.

I'm a Virgo, Slytherin and INTJ-A if that tells you anything.

I'm not athletic in the least, but am in good shape. My body is an hourglass figure and I also got a bunch of tattoos.

I have a bad habit of smoking, and usually having a glass of scotch or wine with me (but I never get drunk or even tipsy). I love spending time near water, but hate getting wet. I usually take long walks outside after midnight while listening to creepypastas or true crime podcasts. I love the genre horror overall, yet I rarely get scared. The only thing I'm scared of is being scared if something. And Santa Claus (<-- no idea as to why).

If I were to go on an ideal date, it'd hopefully be something original and not the cheese classics, but I wouldn't mind them either. I just want to experience new things.

I don't really celebrate holidays (e.g. Christmas, Ester) since I was raised in an atheist/witchcraft household.

If I still might add something, when it comes to relationships I'm never overly dramatic. I don't, as previosuly mentioned, yell or really even cry. I don't get frustrated or suspicious easily. If I see any inclination that my partner might be e.g. cheating on me, I ask them about it directly and will absolutely under no circumstanses go through their phone, computer or start stalking them. 

You wanted 3 random things, here :

1. I can't cook shit, I have set spaghetti on fire, cracked a pan in half and blown up a microwave.

2. I'm very unpredictable, but at the same time I like to stick to certain routines etc.

3. I've had my hair dyed more times that I can count with more colors than I know how to name.

Uhhh, I think that's all? I hope you have a good day :)

(🎫) CONCERT TICKETS - get a platonic or romantic ship/match-up from the fandom of your choice (max. two) along with a shirt headcanon

JOIN MY 4K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

I ship you with....

Peter Pan

- Arriving on Neverland, in hindsight, was a mistake. Magic beans while very reliable were prone to mistakes every so often and so instead of appearing in the Enchanted Forest, you were on the beach of a large island. And what was the most odd of all, was not the strange feeling you felt upon arriving on the island, but the pair of eyes you could practically feel staring at you from the trees. Hoping that it was just an animal of some sort, you walked off the beach and headed to the path through the forest.

- Unfortunately for you, the feeling lingered, following you almost as you walked through the forest. Tall trees lined the path and every once in awhile you’d see some small animals scurry away. What seemed to stand out the most however were the silhouettes standing off in the side, deep within the trees but standing right below the sunlight for you to see clearly. There was four, than five, than six than......only one. Looking at your surroundings, you saw your footprints in the ground before you and it hit you. You’d been walking in circles the whole time and the silhouette was still there.

“Hello?” You called out, not sure as to whether or not the silhouette really was there.

Without a verbal response, the figure disappeared only to reappear a few feet in front of you.

You jumped back in shock but quickly regained your balance as you studied the person before you. It was a boy, looking to be around your age, with a questioning look on his face as he looked at you. “Who are you?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I asked you first!”

“And I’m in charge of this island!”

“You? In charge of an island? What is this Neverland?” You rolled your eyes at the possibility. Neverland was a place made up so that kids could fall asleep. Not a real place that you could visit.

“Yes it is, and I run things around here so tell me, who are you.” The boy replied, emphasizing his last three words as he spoke.

“As if, what’s next? You call your little Lost Boys to come prove to me?” You scoffed. To believe that you were on Neverland was already too much and all you wanted was to get home to the Enchanted Forest but it seems you’re stuck playing pretend with a boy who doesn’t want to grow up. A shame really

Smirking, the boy simply pressed two fingers to your forehead and before you could even say something, your mind went foggy and your vision was filled with black.

- To say you got off on a rough start was an understatement. The two of you were constantly at each other’s neck while he kept you on the island, the camp specifically, and didn’t let you leave due to belief that you were a spy of some sorts. Not that he had anything to hide. Not yet at least.

- As time went on however, the two of you had begun to form a friendship. It wasn’t anything big or odd, but it was definitely new. He’d be less of an ass to you and let you explore the island on your own (with some exception).

- Upon finding your out about your hobbies, he would discreetly try to surprise you with materials to help you engage in them even if Neverland’s magic still had some restrictions. He would still try to the best of his abilities.

I also ship you with....

Blaise Zabini

- Losing was one thing Blaise never took lightly. Competitive he was but even with his ambition and skill, it was the mundane things that revolved around luck that often made him lose. Like the stupid bet he made with Theo on whether Gryffindor would win or lose where the loser would have to make a full four course meal complete with drinks for all the Slytherins in their year. Unfortunately for him, he had lost unlike Gryffindor and now here he was, spending his Saturday afternoon in the kitchens and a cookbook Pansy had given him “to help”.

- Blaise didn’t know what he’d see upon entering kitchen. He was sure to see a few House Elves, perhaps he could ask them for help, but what he didn’t except was to see you standing in front of the stove with a pot spilt cleanly in half somehow and a fire burning below. And to make matters worst, you were simply standing there as if you had been frozen.

“Hey watch out!” He called out as a flame went up towards you. Pushing you out the way just in time, he managed to save you from the burn in return of him getting burned.

“Fuck.” He hissed out in pain. Gripping his arm as he put out the fire with his wand before dropping it on the ground.

Without a word, you simply grabbed your wand and waved it above his burn. You seemed to be muttering something, a spell of some sort, as a cooling sensation covered his wound. Looking down, he was shocked to see that the burn was actually healing.

“How, how did you.... Thank you.”

“I was practicing a charm, fire control, but thank you for the concern.”

Feeling sheepish for thinking that you didn’t have it under control, he ended up excusing himself from the kitchen to head back to his dorm where his friends immediately pounced on the chance to tease him for a variety of reasons.

- The next day, instead of going to Hogsmeade with his friends, Blaise stayed back at the castle to catch up on a paper he had failed to submit on time. Deciding on going to the library, sh was disappointed to see that almost all of the tables were taken. All but one in the far back corner. Quickly heading towards it, a sigh left his lips as someone dropping their book bag into the table beat him to the table: you.

“Oh did you need the table? I can leave if you’d like?”“ You said upon noticing him standing in front of the table.

“No, no it’s alright I just uh, planned on finishing a paper for Flitwick’s class.” He admitted.

“You can have a seat if you’d like, I’ll just be doing my own work and you can do yours.” You kindly offered and Blaise gladly accepted. He really need to finish this paper or else he’s be kicked off the Quidditch team so while he didn’t get the complete privacy he originally wanted, he’s fine with this.

As the two of you worked in quiet, occasionally Blaise would sneak glances your way which you ended up catching once.

“Hi.” was all you managed to muster out as you tried to contain the wide smile that wanted yo grow on your face.

Trying his best to not chuckle at your slightly flustered state, he mirrored your smile as he replied with a “Hello.”

[akkermans]

( madelyn cline / cis woman ) PHILIPPA ‘PIP’ AKKERMANS is 22 years old and is a JUNIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in JOURNALISM and is known for being THE DESPONDENT as SHE can be CURIOUS and INSIGHTFUL as well as SELF-PUNISHING and MOODY. every time i see HER, SHE reminds me of SMOKE RISING FROM A CIGARETTE, THE CRUNCH OF LEAVES UNDERFOOT, INCOHERENT SCRIBBLINGS IN A NOTEBOOK.

hi hello hi i’m hero, i’m 22, she/they and i live in the est tz! i’m a recentish graduate who likes horror, my cat, and a damn fine cup of coffee!! i’m so excited to be here w/ pip!! if u wld like to plot, give this a like or hmu on my discord @ ‘garlic bed #3345′!!

full name: philippa ‘pip’ akkermans 

birthdate: june 24, 1998 

age: 22 

gender: cisgender woman 

pronouns: she/her 

zodiac: cancer 

nationality: dutch-american 

ethnicity: white

hometown: utrecht, the netherlands

languages: dutch, german, english 

family: 

julian akkermans, father 

lotte de vries, stepmother

amelia akkermans, mother (deceased)

sophie akkermans, twin sister (deceased)

orientation: bisexual biromantic 

religion: atheist (formerly catholic) 

height: 5 ft 6 in 

distinguishing features: thin scar from crown of head to right eyebrow, eyes, lips 

character inspo: theo crain, alaska young, shane and ryan from buzzfeed unsolved, camille preaker

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

TRIGGERS: death, car accident, alcohol and drug use, mental illness (depression, ptsd)

born in utrecht, the netherlands to a dutch father and american mother, pip akkermans’ life has been marked with tragedy since she was born. it seems to follow her. she was born five minutes before her twin sister, sophie, but as the two girls took their first breath, their mother took her last, leaving julian akkermans a single father. 

growing up without a mother, pip and sophie found solace in each other, forming a bond akin to many twins, one so close, so dependent, it was like they were in their own little bubble. sophie was always the bright one, the one who walked into a room and immediately lit it up. pip was always the quieter of the two, her energy more dour, more withdrawn. but together they were a team, causing trouble left and right, getting out of it with sophie’s sweet smile. 

their father was never the same after their mother died, but the coldness that possessed julian was all they’ve ever known. often times he was out of the house, unable to properly step up in the role of father to girls that were the spitting image of his lost love and the sole reason she’s gone. he drank. a lot. but he was never violent, simply sad. 

he starts going out a lot, and eventually, brings home a woman that he says is going to become their step mother. a wedding quickly ensues. there’s a meanness in her, a clear disdain for the twins. but they don’t care, they don’t need to. they have each other. they’ll always have each other. 

they’re fourteen and visiting amsterdam for the weekend when their car is hit head on by another, there’s enough momentum to flip them twice. the driver and pip are fine, minor injuries, but sophie passes away before anyone arrives, her hand in her sister’s as she takes her last breath. 

pip is distraught, and for obvious reasons, she’s lost the better part of herself, even though she promised she wouldn’t go away. if her dad is heartbroken, he doesn’t show it. he simply continues to pull away. eventually sending pip to live with her aunt in america, rhode island to be specific. 

she doesn’t exactly adjust well, not only is she still reeling from the death of her sister, but she’s experiencing intense feelings of detachment and nightmares of sophie every night, among other symptoms. her aunt eventually takes her to a psychologist, where she’s eventually diagnosed with depression and ptsd. 

thus begins her long journey into managing her mental health, her aunt showing a surprising amount of support. she wishes on some level, that she had always grown up with her, that her father sent them away when they were children, maybe she wouldn’t feel so alone. maybe sophie would still be here. 

for the first year in america, she doesn’t quite have friends, because she prefers her usual solitude. but eventually, she finds her group of friends, within her soccer team, her clubs, anything to get her mind off of her old life. 

she tries to be normal, she really does, but she knows something is off– she feels empty, all the time, and her medication makes her feel like a zombie. eventually she falls into a crowd that is prone to partying, drinking, smoking. she’s sneaking out most nights to join them at their spot. 

her senior year, she spins out, has a very public breakdown, that ends up leading to her taking a leave of absence from school, and essentially once again, returning to pariah status. 

she does manage to graduate and get into thales university, by sheer force and extracurriculars, where she begins majoring in journalism, because it’s always been something she’s interested in, having been a part of her school’s newspaper before, well, everything. 

she meets nana in one of their gen eds, and they hit it off immediately. they’re practically inseparable for a few years, until there’s an incident of pip being caught in a compromising position with one of nana’s flings at the time (it wasn’t what it looked like) and before she has a chance to explain, they’re no longer speaking.

 nana goes missing a few weeks afterwards, and the emptiness comes back, feeling guilty as if it was her fault. as if everything that has happened has been a result of knowing pip and her general trail of misery. she was going to apologize, too. she just never got the chance. 

now with the death of steven, her curiosity is piqued, her journalistic instinct triggered by the mystery afoot, and focusing on that means she doesn’t have to think about herself, because by god, she does not want to think about herself. 

TL;DR: pip and her twin sister, sophie, are born in utrecht, the netherlands– their mother dies when they’re born. their father withdraws, eventually remarrying a bitter woman. when pip and sophie are 14, they’re involved in an accident that takes sophie’s life, and leaves pip alone, a bit traumatized. she moves to america to live with her maternal aunt, and goes to high school there, until she essentially has a breakdown her senior year. she meets nana her first year of thales, and they’re inseparable until a misunderstanding a month or two before she disappeared. now with steven’s death, she’s using her journalism skills to investigate it all. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

between the melancholy is a very bright girl. she’s always been rather inquisitive and observant, the quieter one of the akkermans twins. as she grows older, learns to live without her sister, learns to live alone, she grows into her own voice. she becomes someone unafraid to speak her mind, simply because she has nothing left to lose. she’s a bit dry, a bit sarcastic, and her humor can border morbid on occasion because she’s gotta laugh or else she’ll cry. she has a bit of trouble sticking her nose in places it shouldn’t be. she’s rather loyal, but it takes a lot for her to trust you– she trusted nana, and look where that got her. that being said, she has long bouts of depression, and detachment, which she’s been trying to manage for years now, but still, in the quiet moments, there’s a feeling the girl is rather– haunted. 

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒

she has pretty good investigative skills! she works on the newspaper at the school, so she’s kind of all over the place

explores a lot, likes to wander because it clears her head, though it also means she’ll probably enter places she’s not usually allowed (i.e. abandoned buildings, etc.) 

also a soccer player! she’s played soccer for a good amount of her life, except her senior year of high school when she withdrew, she’s debating quitting the team here though 

has a slight dutch accent, it’s noticeable mostly on specific words 

disaster bi….. disaster bisexual…. usually stumbles into relationships and they never last due to her own shortcomings 

can’t drive fr shit never learned how, fr some… obvious reasons, has some anxiety getting 

has a few tattoos! her first and favorite was two butterflies on her wrist for sophie 

has two piercings in each ear, a daith piercing in her right, and a upper cartilege piercing on her left

doesn’t really talk about her sister, however, claims she sees her/feels her sometimes 

a skeptical believer of ghosts and spirits, mostly likes the stories that comes with her 

speaks to her father once every two years, their relationship is nonexistent 

likes to have a beer every so often but doesn’t exactly party, if u do see her at parties she’s prob lounging on a couch chatting with someone who’s name she’ll never remember 

lived on campus for the first two years but this year got her own apartment, has an esa, a two year old scottish fold named noodle 

has an extensive collection of sweaters and cardigans

kind of an old lady……. just learning about tiktok now

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

partner in crime – the ryan to her shane, the trixie to her katya, maybe they’re not the best of friends but they get into a LOT of trouble together

the reason nana and her stopped talking – pretty much nana walked in on a situation and misread it entirely and her drama loving ass cut pip off until her disappearance

friends 

former friends – pip pulls away a lot, she is the undoer in a lot of relationships… or maybe it was your muse…. 

roommates (2-3) – new girl-esque shenanigans to be had!

newspaper coworkers 

soccer teammates 

someone she’s been helping with a case

fwb (f/m/nb) – girl has got needs, and doesn’t always like to be alone so

exes (f/m/nb) – prob broke up because pip’s inability to ever truly connect to other’s… haha! or it could be on good terms, and they’re pals now

crush (f/m/nb) – either way, reciprocated or unreciprocated, but it’s weird and you’re both kinda hot?

people she has Hooked Up w/ and now it’s awkard (f/m/nb) 

rivals, but are we? 

only likes her because her cat – noodle rights, babey!

‘she accidentally stole your coffee order once, but hey, she’s pretty cool’ – prob bought u a new one after she drank a bit of it…. now you see each other around fondly

‘she stuck her nose in your business for the Scoop’

hate-to-love friendship – i want to k*ll you to hey you’re pretty alright but don’t tell anybody i said that

‘you sent her an anonymous tip, but she accidentally figured out it was you’ 

someone who gets her out of her shell – takes her to parties! out with friends! 

anything in my wanted tag!

[quakerjoe]

A CUPPA JOE 01 November 2020

The Sound of Democracy Dying

Today, I heard the cheers for fascism by way of dozens of car horns blaring along the main street downtown here, a block from my home in rural Vermont. Dozens of them, driving up and down the main drag, being loud and obnoxious, like they all are, all excited for trumplefuckstick because they're either that hateful of a nation they claim to be so proud of and love so much or because they're far too gone and stupid to know what actual fascism looks like. It's the 21st century recreation of the thousands of cheering fans who packed audiences to hear Hitler or Mussolini speak once upon a time.

The sounds is an abysmal comparison of how things are in the US, represented by a noise typical of gridlock traffic or a multi-car pileup on a major highway. Neither are good; people get upset and some even get killed. That's exactly what this is now as we break records because 45 failed to take Covid seriously while he drained our nation's coffers to enrich himself and make the poor even poorer. Still, these fuckwits are all jazzed up for him; not because they're smart on any level but because to them it's all a game of 'own the libtards' and nothing more.

This is the sound of democracy dying. Dozens of car horns screaming in the gray, cold afternoon. Loads of flags flapping in the wind like their own lips do, spouting ignorance, bigotry, racism and hate. It's right here in my own quiet little Vermont town.

Our days are clearly numbered here in the US. All that bullshit about the bible and loving one another is horse shit. All that rambling on you hear about liberty and justice for all is a farce. We're slipping away into the next big villain nation in world history and here, the crowds (a minority one at that) think they're the good guys, just like all those fanatical Germans and Italians in the 1930's. The stench on the air of history is exactly the same.

The GOP knows how to wield and hold onto power, even when they're the minority. Democrats, for the most part, have all sold us out. We're sliding rapidly to totalitarianism, plutocracy, fascism and every other bad 'ism' out there is swallowing us whole. While those who still try to play fair and by the rules are constantly being shafted, the darkness is swallowing us all whole here and nobody is coming to save us. Not a god, not Biden, not Democrats... Nobody. 

When a Progressive/Liberal state like Vermont has these kinds of fascists having a horn rally, clogging up traffic in their auto-circle-jerk in such numbers, it's a clear sign of the times that we've lost the Republic. A blood bath is coming, rule of law is soon to collapse, and the USA is about to be a thing of the past and nobody's going to want to get near this shithole until the dust settles and that's going to be a while. Perhaps Russia and China will dabble more in affairs here as the two carve up what pieces fall to the wayside during this the way we did when the USSR collapsed.

When asked, a long time ago, what it is that we've won in our independence, Benjamin Franklin stated that we've got a Republic "for as long as we can keep it". While the "Great Experiment" had no expiration date and initially was set up to grow and prosper to be a better place, it has become abundantly clear that this is not the land of the free or the home of the brave. We know when this Republic died and continues to wheeze like a bunch of car horns sounding as the nation's dying breaths come in labored, desperate gasps. Like a patient of Covid-19, we're in quarantine from the rest of the world, dying on a respirator made of parts from corporate news and political corruption. We're not allowed visitors and we're going to die, as a nation, a long, drawn-out, lonely death before the USA finally flatlines.

Don't worry though. Those rich folk that got all the tax breaks and hid their money off-shore will be just fine. While we tear into one another, black v. white, religious v. atheist/agnostic, LGBTQ v. straight whites, they'll be dining well from afar as they watch the blood sport that "We the People" will be engaging in. The masses here never figured out that their true enemy has been the rich fucks who keep us divided; instead we, as a people, just keep giving them more money so they'll let people here be more free to hate one another and kill each other more freely. Of course, this only applies to white folk. Forget it if you're not a white, hetero, "christian" male in this nation!

The upcoming election is going to be a shit show unlike any we've seen in our history. We already know this. The polls closing, the gerrymandering, the open, blatant cheating techniques of the GOP and inaction of the Dems is patently, painfully obvious. If this was a boxing match, you'd know that the GOP couldn't win a fair fight and the Dems got paid to take a dive. It's that simple. So, we're going to see the shittiest election ever in our lifetimes. This administration has done just about everything they could to destroy the election process and if 45 loses, it'll be a court battle that he can't lose now. It's almost a waste of time and effort. It's "zugzwang"; all their moves have led up to this and the proverbial Left is about to be put in checkmate in only a few short days and there's literally nothing that can be done about it shy of a more "French" solution. Fascism is about to win. Democracy is about to die and you know what? These assholes still think fascism is some form of democracy and liberty all while thinking democratic socialism is evil. That's how stupid the US has gotten.

As we approach "Game Over, Man!" I just wanted to point out this bit of prattling on because you, dear reader, are either part of the choir I'm preaching to or one of the fucktards out there honking horns and flying flags all jazzed up to watch the nation fall and fascism prevail. "That's the way it is" and "Goodnight and good luck".

Once all of the horn honking has died down and all is said and done, it all comes down to a line from the poem “The Hollow Men” by T.S. Eliot when he wrote “This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.”