#you said this is going to me long and incomprehensible and i said BET WATCH THIS

[jordie-gvf]

Aphrodite’s Kiss, Josh Kiszka

word count :

warnings : language, oral f rec, pussy kissing, aftercare, i don’t think there’s anymore! let me know if i missed any!

enjoy, i sure did 😩

if there was one thing josh loved more than you and his patchouli body soap, it was kissing your pussy. before he ate you out, he kissed her for a lifetime. if he had it his way, he wouldn’t eat you out. he’d only kiss.

when he came home from work, you could tell something was up.

“what happened?” you asked him, as soon as he walked in the door.

“fuckin sam. you know how the youngest can be, annoying, as all fuck.” he told you, sitting to the right of you on the couch as you watched your ghost hunting show. he wrapped his right arm around your waist, moving his left behind your head. he peppered kisses to your neck, nudging your head with his nose. “come on, baby. been a long day. let me kiss her.”

“i’m in the middle of the episode, it’ll be done soon, i promise.”

“who said you had to stop watching your show?” he questioned, tugging on the waistline of your grey lounge pants. “joshua, give me 20 minutes and i’ll let you do whatever you want.”

“i want her now, please mama. i bet you’re so fuckin wet, couldn’t have my touch all day. did you touch your pretty cunt today? i touched my cock, thinking about your gorgeous body. tell me, when you’re alone do you imagine my fingers in your cunt? fucking you until you squirt all around my fingers.”

“actually no i didn’t,” you said sarcastically, “but i did think about your pretty mouth.”

“tell me, baby. what’d you think about? my lips? my tongue? my teeth? what was it baby?”

he propped up a pillow behind you and laid you down on the couch. he kissed your collarbone and kissed his way down your body. “don’t be coy, my love. tell me. did you think about me eating this delicate cunt? or was i sucking this pretty little button in my mouth?” he said, gently pressing his thumb into your mound.

“joshy, please.” you moaned out, lacing your fingers through his hair.

“joshy, please,” he imitated you, pulling your pants down to your ankles.

he grabbed your white panties at the bow on the elastic and pulled tightly, outlining your cunt in the cloth. “look at that pussy, so fucking gorgeous. your little clit is peeking out at me.”

he let go and inhaled your scent. “god, she smells so fucking good.” he nuzzled his nose into your clit and you let out a moan, gripping his hair tighter. he pressed his first kiss of the night onto your clit.

“go ahead, watch your show, i’ll be right here. making sweet love to this cunt.”

he pressed tiny kisses to the entirety of your cunt, leaving his love all over you. he moved your shirt up to grip your tits.

he pulled your panties off of you, sticking to your pussy, the once white material now see through. “god, i can’t wait to eat this pussy, missed you so much.”

“he’s not here right now, joshy. just me and you.”

“you’re damn right he’s not here, he’d be very ashamed of the both of us, sweetness.”

he handed you the remote from behind him and said, “watch the show, my love. i’ll keep myself busy.”

you quickly moved your hands to the back of his head and maneuvered his face down to your cunt.

“in time sweetness, in time.”

“if you make me wait any longer, im going to go upstairs and fuck my hand in our bed.”

“you will do no such thing, my love,” he said and put his mouth directly on your cunt. your head thrashed around on the pillow supporting you. you intertwined your fingers through his hair as he destroyed your pussy.

incomprehensive noises flying throughout the small, homey living room. moans, sucking, licking, sucking.

he moved his right hand off your breast and slowly drug his fingers down your body. he wrapped your legs around his head and sucked harder, small groans leaving his mouth. he returned his hand to your chest, slowly dragging it up to your neck.

“come on, mama. i know you can cum for me,” he coaxed you, licking feverishly to get you to the edge.

he mocked your moans and slowly squeezed your throat. you started to grind into his face as he stuck his tongue out and let you ride his face, your grip on his hair getting tighter and tighter. your legs had enveloped his head, shaking as you got closer to the beloved end.

“i can feel you’re legs shaking around my head,” he said, in between licks on your cunt. “you can cum my love,”

he kissed your clit and put his lips back on yours. your neck craned, forcing your head back on the arm rest, until you felt white hot pleasure take over your entire body.

“good girl, mama, good fucking girl. you did so good,” he said to you, soothing your strained thighs with small kisses.

“i’ll be right back, i promise.”

he let go of your hips and stood up off the couch. he walked into the kitchen, his chin and chest glistening in the low light.

he grabbed you an ice cold water and a warm washcloth. “let’s get you cleaned up, my love. drink your water” he had you sit up to drink your water and motioned for you to open your legs. he cleaned you off with the warm cloth and delicately wiped you down.

he quickly made way to your room and grabbed you a clean pair of panties and some sweats. he helped you get dressed and laid you back down on the couch in your original position.

he handed you the remote and laid down on top of you, his head resting on your chest.

“now can i watch my show?”

“yes, baby. you can watch your ghost show.”

[fillinforlater]

Public stripping by Momo would be a cool idea for a story if you're able to. Please and thank you!

Teased Promotion

Hirai Momo (ft. you and the crowd)

Length: 1202 words

Tags: stripping, public, public indecency, teasing, flaunting cleavage and breasts, how-to-get-promoted, dominant!Momo

TW: UNEDITED QUICKIE

(A/N: This request was in my ask box since January 25th... sorry for the long wait, but if you're still around to read it, I hope you enjoy this short, teasing piece xD)

“Guess who asked for a promotion yesterday?”

Your boss has the weirdest entries. He always says a random phrase without greeting you or talking about the topic at hand. However, he is still your boss and most often, a very chill guy. You mostly go along with his antics, especially at such an important company banquet. 

“I have no clue to be honest, but it sure wasn’t me.”

“Ha, funny,” he laughs sarcastically, before answering the question himself, “It’s Miss Hirai, Momo, the one on stage right now.”

Of course you know who Momo is. Fierce in her gaze, fully focused on her case, unstoppable, ever since she stepped foot into the giant law firm. When someone meets Momo for the first time, they are allured, stunned even by her beautiful appearance and incredible body. Underneath her glasses are incomprehensible orbs and underneath her tailored suit are enormous breasts. 

As a co-worker, you of course meet Momo more than once, so you were shocked to find that the second impression she makes is far different. Behind her mouth-watering facade is a killer, someone who is ready to leap over you, take your position, your job, your life if need be. It’s impossible to get into her pants, she is completely immune to flirting or someone showing off. You assumed she was a lesbian at first, but even the hottest women in your firm get bluntly rejected. It’s all business for her.

Momo loves showing off her money, of course, otherwise she wouldn’t wear gold necklaces and watches all the time, but she seems to love a show of dominance even more. For her to want a promotion is not a surprise at all, so you wonder why your boss felt the need to mention it.

“I know her. I bet everyone does. She probably deserves it.”

“Yeah, but she did not want to negotiate with me. She said that she will make her offer tonight at the banquet when everyone from outside has left. I sent all the staff and sneaky journalists outside ten minutes ago, but she hasn’t done anything yet.”

“Maybe she is getting cold feet,” you joke and reach for a second champagne glass. You give it to your boss and you both wordlessly look up to the stage. Momo just stands there, behind a lectern. The crowd of noisy, tipsy and flirty coworkers quiets down when they hear her through the speakers. Even when she clears her throat it sounds dominant, degrading, demanding.

“Today,” she begins and even the densest person is now completely silent and focused on her, “I walked into the office of our dear boss and I did not want to leave until a deal had been done. However, he challenged me to something—and my God am I ready to accept it.”

You have never heard or seen Momo this passionate before. She was feeling herself, nothing in the entire building could be more interesting than her right now and she knew it. Even your boss mutes his phone and makes it disappear into the pocket of his navy-colored suit. Momo was about to shine, to burst, but no one had a clue how.

“Boss,” she continues, her gaze piercing through the tense air and right next to you, “I have a way to boost the morale of everyone here and make myself indispensable to the firm.”

Momo steps away from the mic. The spotlight follows her onto the empty part of the stage where she is not hiding her legs behind the lectern. The clacking of her heels onto the metal surface is the only sound your ears can pick up. Your eyes, no, everyone’s eyes widen, when Momo grabs the top of her tie and rips it off of her neck.

What the fuck?

Momo straightens herself with a smirk and you instinctively straighten your back in your seat. She effortlessly lets her fingers run down her upper body and twists the first button of her suit, then the second and stops—only for the briefest, tense moment. She pulls open the suit with such ferocity, the buttons fly off. Momo let’s the hang on her shoulders and throws her head backwards to expose her slender, perfectly sculpted neck.

Holy shit.

People shuffle all around you. They jump from their seats, shake their heads or open their suits as well to make sure this is not a dream. It’s unnecessary though, because Momo’s wild eyes sparkle and tell them: this is real. I am real. 

She spins around and sways, her hips moving to a song that is not there but that everyone can hear. Her opened suit travels further down, sadly exposing not her skin but a white, thin-striped shirt. Her back is still hidden, only the outline of the backside of her bra visible. Momo knows how to tease, how to make the crowd jump, and she is playing it out perfectly. 

The suit falls and the first cheers roar. They wake up for her, those horny coworkers. A male dominated industry for sure, but the women are left speechless as well. No one is safe from Momo. She turns back around, adjusts her glasses with one hand, fiddles at the hem of her dress pants with the other and gradually, painfully slowly bends over. 

She is showing her cleavage you imagine, but that god damn shirt is still blocking the view of her voluptuous breasts. Momo winks and sticks her tongue out, not to you, but to you, to anyone who is greedy enough to claim this wink as their own. 

Momo makes your head spin when she interrupts the slow, teasing movements to lean her upper body backwards to present her crotch while simultaneously opening the first button of her shirt. You jump as well, barely anyone is still on their seat. Some dare to move closer, some stay behind. You expect her to go faster, but no. Momo is taking it slow and feeling it.

Oh God, this woman!

Both hands are on her tummy; you imagine she is flexing her hidden abs underneath. Then they massage themselves upward to her bosom; you imagine her hard nipples being crazed even through her bra. At last, she finds her neck, touches it for a second and—this time, you don’t have to imagine things—she moves both hands under the next button and pops it free. And the next. And the next. And the next, the one above her black lace bra. 

The crowd goes nuts at the first glimpse of what Momo has kept a secret for everyone. Those that asked her out or tried to seduce her probably thought of a private session, their own victory to see the gorgeous, sexy Momo. They were wrong, bluntly. Momo wants all eyes on her.

More, fuck, more!

Somehow, your eyes fall down on your boss for a second. He is the last one still sitting, his suit open, cheeks red hot. He is fanning air to him, while failing to look unimpressed or demanding. He has fallen for Momo’s striptease and jumps the moment she opens her shirt to fully flaunt her tits. 

“She’s got you as well.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

[kodzuken]

this is gonna be kinda long and incomprehensible but hear me out: sth is really weird with buck, he is acting super ooc this season. first his relationship with taylor that seemed super weird in 5a but i brushed it off attributing it to me being negative abt it bc i don't like BT. but then with each passing episode he was acting weirder. he was once again focused on his own pain and making it abt himself. he tried to leave bc he felt unwanted. 1/3

2/2 then maddie left. and back in that episode when chim punched him and buck spent the entire episode telling chim how maddie just needs time and she's fine i didn't think much of it either. but now after boston, now that we know more? like buck is the caretaker. he loves his family. and maddie came to him, told him abt almost drowning jee and that she is leaving, she didn't tell him where and he just LET HER? he never would have before. 2/3

3/3 the buck we always knew would NEVER let maddie go if he suspected that it was THIS BAD. did he not even realize??? and then there is the cheating storyline. this was super ooc for the buck we know. and then the eddie thing? sth bad is happening to buck. i don't mean ooc in a 'this is bad writing' way. i think it's excellent writing. i think they're giving us subtle hints about how he is heading for sth Bad. i think once everyone else is "fixed" he is gonna go down. hard.

OKAY sorry i’ve been holding on to this since you sent it last night and i wanted to wait until i was off work so i could properly digest it and respond because i think you are actually the smartest anon that’s ever been in my inbox.

so my thing with buck is this: eddie hit the nail on the fucking head when he said in 504 “you’re the guy who likes to fix things”. he wasn’t just walking about buck’s relationship with maddie; he was stripping buck down to his very bones, the very root of his character -- beneath all of buck’s bravado, his flirting, his jokes and fun facts, he’s just a guy who wants to help, who wants to do the right thing, and most importantly, who wants to fix other people’s problems. it is of my personal opinion (but i’m right, actually) that buck wants to fix other people’s problems so he doesn’t have to fix his own. i could go on a mile long tangent about how buck compartmentalizes himself and his own issues (hello buck 1.0/2.0/3.0), and how everything we know about buck in canon goes to prove that he avoids dealing with his own problems by dealing with other people’s. he loves to be able to fix things, he hates when he can’t.

which brings us to season 5, and i think you’re literally so right, that buck is acting ooc, and it’s for a very good reason. as the audience, we’re SUPPOSED to be thinking, as my father said during 511, “what the fuck, buckley?”. we’re supposed to be wondering what’s going on in his head. and where with say, eddie, we very clearly know why he’s heading into the direction of a major breakdown, we don’t necessarily have that with buck. like obviously, we know he’s Been Through Shit (daniel, the shooting, the ladder truck, the tsunami, the blood clots, the lawsuit, jesus christ man), but we’ve also been made to believe that those things are things we’ve dealt with. personally i believe this is why dr. copeland was introduced in 4A -- to give viewers the impression that buck was dealing with his shit. but we very clearly see in season 5 that he hasn’t dealt with it, and with the huge fucking elephant in the room that is the shooting and the will, buck can’t deal with it.

so, he acts out of character. this is SO fucking pertinent to buck’s character, imo. he quite literally has a track record of making the wrong decision when he’s backed into a corner and doesn’t know what else to do; the lawsuit is a perfect example of this. so now, in season 5, we have a buck who has absolutely no direction as to how to move forward to healing, so he does what he does when he’s afraid -- he makes Decisions that aren’t necessarily the best for him in the long run. take taylor, for example -- he makes it clear that he’s tired of running after people, and yet he gets with taylor (not to MENTION everything that happens in past is prologue) anyway. he’s constantly making ooc decisions, and it isn’t bad writing. it’s fan-fucking-tastic writing, actually, because we’re slowly seeing buck break down in real time. this isn’t eddie clutching a back (with buck In The Room) because all of his trauma is hitting him at once; this is buck slowly but surely digging himself into a hole he won’t be able to get out of without serious help

and you’re right -- especially after everything that happened with doug, i don’t think buck normally would have let maddie go off by herself, especially if he feared she was in danger to herself. but this isn’t a buck who’s acting rationally; this isn’t a buck who’s head is on straight. this is a buck who’s grasping at the edge of a cliff, trying to hang on. this is a buck who can’t fix someone else’s problems, because his own are becoming suffocating.

so yeah, you’re right on the nose -- buck is going to put it away (hah) and help other people; he’s going to be there for maddie and chim, be there for eddie and chris, be there for bobby and may, and he’s not going to worry about himself. but as soon as he doesn’t have anything to fix, anything to focus on, the weight of everything is going to hit him at once, and he’s going to fucking break.

[espritmuse]

How do they express their love in public.

Levi Yelena Jean Hange x reader

I may do a part 2 later for other characters if any of you want !!

Levi is not really the type to express his feeling, nevertheless, with you, he can try a bit, even in public. Don’t ask him too much though, the raven-haired man would definitely let you grab his arm and maybe even hold your hand if you hold his first.

For more, he is a bit uncomfortable, he never really experimented love and affection before you came into his life so if you try to kiss him in public he would definitely start acting awkward towards you (even though he does not really hate it)

Both of you were walking in the tranquil village, hands in hands. You noticed a small shop with very pretty items and your eyes widened. Your lover noticed it and decided to buy you one of the small objects in the shop window. Once outside, you decided to kiss him on the cheek in a sign of gratitude.

“yn .... not here please.” The man started blushing slightly and turned his head around, looking for any unexpected voyeurs.

You chuckle a bit and step back.

“No one is looking at us Levi de-stress a bit” You took his hand again and you both started walking again.

Yelena

This woman would be behind your back every minute of your life. She definitely treats you like a princess in distress or even a helpless toddler unable to do anything or they would hurt themselves by accident.

She always has a hand on you, around your nape, on your head, holding your own hand, around your shoulder, playing with your hair...

She couldn’t care less if you both are in public, in fact, she prefers this way because she likes showing everyone that you belong to her and her only. Her little precious thing that no one could achieve or even dream of achieving. You’re the only person she really trusts and with whom she really feels comfortable.

Yelena asked you to – as always – come with her to one of her meetings. You always found them boring, but your lover really seemed to enjoy them so you accepted without hesitation, you couldn’t resist her puppy eyes she gave you every time.

The meeting already started when you both came into the room. You quickly stepped to your chair but the moment you were about to sit, you felt a hand grabbing yours. As you looked up, you saw the blond-haired girl.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess? “

You turned your head a bit, a sign of your incomprehension to which she answered with her usual smirk before sitting on the old chair placed in the last row of the room.

“Sit here.” she said, patting her lap.

Jean

Jean is head over heels for you and he doesn’t spend a day of his life without showing you that it’s the case.Same as Yelena, he doesn’t care if you are in public and why would he?

He loves you and wants you to know it –and he also can’t resist too long when he sees you–

Sasha and Connie definitely made a bet about how long he could stay without cupping your cheeks your putting his chin on top of your head. (And trust me, that was the fastest someone even lost a bet)

« yn..... » Your lover looked at you with a small malicious smile on his lips.

« no Jean. » You haven’t even looked back at him, you knew his exact face at this moment.

« but you look so tiny.... »

« if you don’t shut up.... Jean. Put me back on the floor right now. » As you started your statement, your boyfriend grabbed your hips and lifted you to place you on his shoulder. You tried to hit his back with your hands, but without success.

« are you trying to tickle me baby? »

Hange

The scientist doesn’t care if you’re in public or not and not only about showing her love to you. Change is the type of person to talk about the weirdest thing at the weirdest moment, people or not. You tried to tell her that she couldn’t say any of this stuff in public, but she just looks at you with a look of interrogation.

She would always hold your hand, talking about her experiments as you were the only that dared listening to her without falling asleep or calling her crazy.

You were quietly drinking tea with Levi, both of you sitting next to a small window looking at the sun as it was slowly rising in the orange sky accompanied by the chirps of the birds. As a soldier you had to wake up pretty early every morning, but this view never failed to amaze you. You looked back to your hands where your porcelain tea cup was. You closed your eyes as you slowly sipped the....

"Y/N!! Y/N!! YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED” Hange yelled as she barged into the room, making you choked on your tea

The room full of half asleep soldiers was now glaring at the brown haired woman, which was wearing a -supposedly– white coat full of stains and protective glasses placed messily on her forehead.

You don’t even think that she realized that everyone was staring at her.

“Hange...” You slapped your forehead and heard Levi chuckle.

“I know you asked me to sleep with you yesterday, but...”

“HANGE.” You looked at her with big eyes trying to make her understand that people were watching.

“What??? okay come with me and we could go to my room later.” She suddenly grabbed your arm and headed outside.

“You’re embarrassing me...”

———

More of my works here

[noa-nightingale]

hello! I feel like I can talk to you at length about how much Steven Lim is a ray of sunshine that seems to bring out such positive vibes from the people around him.

like, every episode of Dish Granted is evidence of this, especially the latest one where he really vibes with Tony. their interaction is such cozy friendship goals. and when he brings out the food, everyone is just beaming with disbelief at how much thought goes into granting their dish and how much Steven values them.

also, and I've only recently noticed this, his energy with Andrew and Adam on Worth It is so distinct that it seems to have brought out the best and shiniest of these two otherwise stoic boys. I look at the way Andrew interacts with people on his other content (e.g. About To Eat, which has been great overall) and it really doesn't compare. when he's with Steven, Andrew seems so loose, so comfortable (he smiles and laughs so much oh my god), and almost vulnerable at times! I really miss standrew on tumblr dot edu

whew sorry for being overlong but I just wanna say one last thing: I hate love the fact that Steven is so much more attractive, especially on Dish Granted. is it the hair? is it the way he carries himself? is it the kindness? it really stresses me out. I just wanna wish him and Tammy and their fur babies the best this life has to offer.

Hello sweet anon! (And hello excuse to ramble about Mr Lim again!)

I am gonna talk about myself here for a moment but I'll try to keep it short - the idea that somebody might enjoy my company and get something positive out of the things I do and say is still really alien/weird/incomprehensible to me (despite some people very obviously finding value in the things I create, but it is just... such a strange concept to me; I blame it on the autism).

That's one of the reasons I find it so fascinating how Steven interacts with others.

I obviously just see the parts and facets of him he decides to put on the internet but it seems to me that he really wants to be part of others people's lives and have these experiences with them. That he wants these relationships, wants to cultivate them.

Now that I write it down, it seems kind of obvious to say it - that people want to be in each other's lives and enjoy their time together. But I am someone who is simultaneously scared and fascinated by that so... it is really really amazing to watch.

I love how he is with Tony. We only get to see how they are around each other on camera but I think he said somewhere that he and Tony are to each other what Shane and Ryan are to each other. (I can't remember where he said that though, someone correct me if I am misremembering it.) And that's just really heartwarming to me.

It is friggin' amazing that he gets to meet all these people and share these beautiful moments with them.

Oh Lord, you made me miss Worth It. ^-^ (And I hope that Adam will be on Dish Granted in a future season too.) It made me think about Andrew's Dish Granted episode - he said the same "Cheers, Steven" that he said on Worth It too and it made my heart hurt a bit. It has always been so lovely to me.

I love the theme of "Steven brings out the positive vibes in others" that runs through your message, and it honestly just confirms for me that Steven in an exceptional person.

And man, you already said it, that guy is just, like... really really attractive. It's mostly the kindness for me, and the warmth. Like, cooking for others and sharing food with others already is such a warm thing and Steven really makes it such an Experience, not only for the people in the episodes but also for us.

(It's also just... he just looks good. I love his little smile, and he has really pretty eyes, and I bet he gives great hugs. I could go on but this reply has been all heart-eyes already so I'll stop here lmao.)

That's it for now, and THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting in the effort of writing a long message and sending it my way, a lot of truth has been said there. ^-^

Sending a hug your way if you want it. I loved answering to you, made my day brighter and better. :D

Thanks again, take care of yourself and may there be a really good meal somewhere in your near future. 💜

[blushing-starker]

Insanity brings me truth and you

can you guess what Peter's doing to not be understood by the guards?

It's not easy, being crazy. There are expectations to run away from, a bar to limbo under, a specific number of people one has to betray and scar. The unknowable becomes knowable, so you have to skirt the edge of that Venn diagram very carefully. Or very recklessly. Either way, it's a complex thing except for when it's not. Jesus, how infuriating to think about. The point is, the paradox that crazies carry on their shoulders? It's a fucking hassle, a tricky one and Peter is tired of it.

He sighs, lets gravity bend him backward, legs slipping dangerously off the blanket he's hung as a hammock inside his cell. Act like a psycho and you're predictable, don't act like an ax wielding murderer and whoops! Predictable. It's the downside of being insane; you leave the weary capitalist consumer mask out in the world, probably set that shit on fire and make yourself sick with the fumes. But you just replace it with the one labelled 'danger to society' and get forced to play along with that. He did what he did to avoid the world and its predetermined fate, its standards.

Peter closes his eyes, thinks of the nauseating smell on his left. Rupert, the guard that dared graze him while he came back from the shower naked, has a broken nose thanks to Ned and his loyalty to him. The idiot barely cleans the open wound and the whole cell reeks of pus because of it. He does the math of how long it's been going on for and shudders in disgust. His bare calves slip a little more.

An inhale near the front of his cage. Slow, but controlled. Not the usual. Thank God for a circus family and heightened senses.

The doctor is paying attention to him.

"Doctor Stark. Gnittor gnihtemos llems ouy nac?" Rupert grumbles from his perch on the second floor, curses a hare brained psycho that's incomprehensible. Peter hums, pleased to know that after ten months, nine days, twelve hours, and...

Breathe in. Breathe out. Focus on sinking deeper into nothing, into a yawning void. The blanket shakes and his thighs are starting to tremble. Blood is rushing to his head, veins most likely beginning to protrude. Irrelevant.

His favorite guard Stan wears a Swiss watch his wife got for him on their fortieth anniversary. It sings to him now, smooth and cool like a river. A skipping stone is thrown, tic, a fish heads towards the sound, toc. Above all the other stimuli in the room, the watch announces itself. Ten fifteen.

Ten months, nine days, twelve hours and twenty minutes into a game, his tiny gnat still hasn't caught on. Not like the charming doctor. He sees him then, behind closed eyelids, as clearly as a sweet nightmare. Tall, taller than Peter, but less strong. Wide shoulders that morph into a slim waist and a delectable ass he aches to sink his teeth into. Shapely calves from running, curiously delicate looking ankles.

Down and back again. A full head of dark hair with a dusting of silver. Dangerously clever mouth, what his aunt would call a noble nose. Agreeable cheekbones. Piercing eyes that tear his walls down, rip apart the bricks and mortar until he's scrambling on the other side, desperately, clumsily attempting to reinforce them for the millionth time. Those eyes saw the trick, the mirror reflection on his second day here, Peter offhandedly talking in reverse with Ned when they passed the new doctor. A dark gaze had pinned him in place, a spider fixed in place with its own silk against the cold dissection table.

Ned had rambled on, Peter had met a worthy playmate and the doctor had seen all he needed in that eternally prolonged glance. That very afternoon, a psychiatrist signed on as his very own voyeur.

Doctor Stark seems to be as interested in cutting him open to peek inside as Peter is in taking a dagger and comparing their hearts. He does this a lot; wonders how fate and the absence of lucky fate led them here. On opposite sides of a prison when perhaps it should be the other way around. Or perhaps there should only be Peter and Doctor Stark.

He feels himself falling, plummeting ever downward into fantasies and hazy dreams. It's not until the good doctor sharply calls out his name that he realizes he's also plummeting towards the floor. Now, MJ had warned him; had specifically said that the hammock being ten feet off the concrete ground was a bad idea. Ned had said he'd be fine and Peter loves the guy, ok? He has to do everything he can so that his best friend wins a bet over his other best friend.

Peter slightly regrets that when he's forced to arch his body backward, flip right side up in order to hit the floor on his feet instead of his face. The impact chokes the air right out of him, shakes his bones, but he doesn't react. Cracks his neck and that's all. Most of the guards were kind, some shade of understanding. They weren't harmless, though. He knows what he looks like, knows how many hours these men are cooped up with the scum of the earth.

"To answer your question," Peter leaps onto the bars of his cell, slithers higher than any sane person would and somersaults off the vertical slits, sinks into his trustworthy hammock with its trustworthy knots (MJ and Ned had tied them, one each), "yes, I do. It's less potent this time."

He stills, frowns. "How? There haven't been any changes. External or internal." No need to act like the Mad Hatter when the conversation could be had normally. Quicker and more reliable with meanings. But the doctor pauses, enunciates his next words slowly.

"Ti koot uoy erom emit yadot." God, he loved hearing Doctor Stark talk that carefully and smoothly. It was as comforting as it was uncomfortable. (He and sex don't particularly get along. It's like a headache that comes and goes; with the right medicine it can dissipate and evolve into something soothing, pleasant. With the majority of medicine, it blossoms into pain and soreness, a dry throat clogged by a thick syrup that won't leave him be no matter how much water MJ and Ned encourage him to drink. Peter isn't yet completely certain which side of his scale the doctor falls on, but he's guessing it's likely the first.)

(The man seemed to live in the grey areas; fitting that with this, too, he'd reside in the in between.)

The reverse effect is in play and he grins, genuine and wide, when he catches it. "Monsters are visiting more frequently, taking up space in the light." His nightmares had intensified recently, and they're starting to accompany him even in moments Peter knows are real; shapes drifting by the corner of his eye. As a coping tactic, he rips parts of his nails off. Not entirely, just the corners. His mind could concoct lots of things, but in his dreams his hands are always pristine.

(He hasn't caught up with it, hasn't noticed that although his nightmares have a clearness to them, a bright intensity, Peter can't shift enough focus to realize his hands aren't his own. They never are. But he usually has more pressing bodies to deal with than the good doctor's.)

Another pause, this one being done by Tony Stark, doctor and healer of men, instead of Doctor Stark, curious keeper of deranged souls. "I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe this will help." Peter peers over the edge of the grey hammock, watches with interest as the doctor approaches his cell with a glass bottle of clear liquid sloshing inside. The other man stops an inch away from the bars, looks up at Peter.

There's a slow tension simmering between them, something as thick and addictive as honey. There's scientific curiosity, a desire to seek out and maybe comprehend the unknown lurking inside their mirror image, as other and as alike as oneself. But there is also a gleam of something he's afraid of acknowledging in Doctor Stark's eyes. A madness once tucked away steadily unraveling itself with each glance they share.

Peter returns the look, unblinking and thinking. " 'If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.' " A lesson Nietzsche offered to those wise enough, sane enough to live blind.

The doctor raises an eyebrow, is otherwise still. Sometimes, if Peter considers their current predicament for too long, his grasp on his masks loosens, and the Spider begins to spin its deadly thread round and round its very own body. He sees a guard exchange money with a partner; the crazy quota has, he guesses, been filled for the week. And they had such a nice streak going on, too. Oh, well. This web is unavoidable anyways.

He pitches himself forward, is the one who controls the descent instead of gravity this time. Letting the air rush up to meet him, he inhales, tastes a distinct sharpness around him. Crouching, Peter takes it all in, every last detail. Looks, really looks, at the doctor and suspects.

As if he were none the wiser, he calmly heads to the front of the cell. Meets the doctor at the divide and wonders what it'll be. Wonders if he'll rise higher than ash and flame, an acrobat testing the fates by flying just seconds ahead of death. Doctor Stark hands him the bottle and he can see now, tiny pieces of lavender. A distraction for the guards. "That should keep the monsters in the dark. Use it before you got to sleep and tuck away your hair."

Like a schoolgirl with a crush, he self consciously brings a hand to his curls. They're getting a bit long, but the warden only allows haircuts once a month or two. "I don't have anything to use." Digging into his lab coat, the other man retrieves a single black stick.

Well, to everyone else it's a hair pin. Peter knows the truth though, can see it and smell it and very nearly touch it. As it is, he gently plucks the items out of elegant hands and refuses to look at them. Looking draws attention. Doctor Stark gazes at his face, eyes flickering in a rehearsed way around his own, but not into them. That's alright, he understands.

"The lack of movement around your face should also help." The question of why is out before he can reel it in and act as a sane, normal person. Christ, he could handle crazy, not rude. He would have to practice being in control so as not to slip up when the doctor is around. Said doctor cocks his head, doesn't have to do anything more for Peter to get the message: go on, ask the devil why he made the deal.

Peter B Parker does not back down when intrigued. "Why are you helping me sleep better?"

Why help me escape?

"It's my duty." Three words. Not the explicit declaration of affection typical, normal, dull people receive from an admirer or partner. Not a grand proclamation of wanting what the heart wants, or a sonnet regarding the connection between star crossed paramours. Simple, short, concise; enough to turn to religion, to sanctity and salvation if it means hearing it again. He'd do anything, including putting on a discarded mask from his past if it gets him what he desires. Peter would suffer through sanity for this man. He would if it means hearing what sounds silent to those around them.

You're my duty. Whatever happens tonight, Doctor Stark believes it's his duty to see it through. To see him through, in a way.

"Why would you accept?" Ah, silly doc thinking any of his principles have changed since the first time they met, since the first time he brought fire to life and gave death in return. Peter smiles, brings forth the prisoner that had not seen the light of day in almost a decade.

(His uncle often said Peter's greatest gift to the world was his smile, his true smile. His aunt said it was the final move needed to capture a king and make him his pawn.)

"Why, doc, you know I hate to be bored." Call him a psycho, a freak, a sick, pitiful creature. Call him anything and everything and maybe those words would ring true. But Peter will never allow himself to be bored, not when there's so much fun to be had. Especially with a doctor as crazy as he is. "This looks...promising."

" 'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.' " The first part of Nietzsche's warning.

"Nietzsche didn't understand; those who fought monsters were already fated to become what they struggled to defeat. They believed salvation could be found by killing the monsters outside, but all they did was feed the ones inside."

Anthony Stark, the truest version, grins at him, all glinting eyes, sharp teeth and a crooked smile. Peter Parker, armed with a match, gasoline and soon to be glass shards, grins right back. In this instant, being crazy isn't such a hassle. After all, he has someone to share the crazy with now.

[mikasaluna]

a certain scientific railgun smut hcs

⚠ WARNINGS：nsfw ! smut !

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY

「 Keep in mind your triggers and do not engage if it will provoke negative emotions. You are responsible for your own actions. 」

♥️

notes：gender neutral pronouns, AFAB character, fluff, adult characters, set after graduation

A Certain Scientific Railgun /とある科学の 超電磁砲

Accelerator　アクセレレーター

- needs to be in control at all times

- he’s not gonna let you on top so don’t even ask

- baby boy just wants to make you feel good <3 

- not that he will ever admit that to you

- holds you roughly by the hips and grinds you down on his thigh while you’re making out

- loves watching you being pleasured, and hearing your sweet moans

- “what a desperate little slut, getting off just from my thigh like that”

- the little shit immediately pushes you back onto the bed just as you’re about to finish, leaving you wriggling and whining beneath him

- his soft white hair tickles your stomach as he pushes his face between your thighs 

- really, really good with his tongue

- you were already so close, cumming embarrasingly fast as he sucks harshly on your clit

- rubs your sides mindlessly as he settles himself back on top of you, inspecting your already fucked out face

- you can feel his hard bulge through his pants pressed against your naked, wet cunt

- is super blunt about it

- “let me fuck you”

- “of course you’re letting me you filthy fucking whore”

- “I bet you love having your stupid slut cunt filled up, huh?”

- starts gentle and deep

- but soon enough he will flip you over and pound you into the matress like you’re his own personal little fuck doll

- when he’s about to finish he will push his face into the crook of your neck where you can hear his breathing falter, and feel his hot breath in your ear

- ...he bites

- you have to stop him after the third round, worried you wouldn’t be able to walk the next morning

- plot twist: you couldn’t walk for the next two days

Kongou Mitsuko 婚后光子

- will try her best to act confident and self assured

- but quickly becomes a stuttering, blushing mess

- doesn’t mind showing off her body to you, she just wants to turn you on as much as you do to her

- asks you to please give her hickeys; on her neck, collarbone, breasts, and especially the insides of her thighs

- maybe give her a hickey on her clit too

- attempts to deny it, but she loves when you top her, and maybe even when you’re a little rough too

- “me, kongou mitsuko!? of course i am not a sub or anything...”

- it’s pretty obvious that isn’t true once you’re finger fucking her into the bed while she’s moaning and babbling out incomprehensible strings of words

- if she gets too loud you might have to be a bit more forceful and put your hand around her throat, but somehow this only makes her louder??

- “please, more there~”

- “h-harder, faster, please don’t stop”

- when you smack her thigh as a warning, you can hear her bite back a moan

- she won’t stop wriggling so you have to hold her thighs tightly, while you put your face between her legs

- the way her face scrunches up as you flick your tongue on her clit is absolutely adorable

- poor baby’s words get all scrambled until all she can do is pant and moan at how good you’re making her feel

- her legs start shaking when she comes undone on your tongue, wrapping her thighs around your head and grinding up into your face

- which she immediately regrets

- “I-I’m sorry for cumming before you said it’s okay”

- “I know I’ve been a bad girl”

- as her punishment, you sit on her face and make her eat you out :)

- she tries her best to make it up to you, holding her tongue out for you to use

- part of you thinks she enjoys this even more than you do

- the way her tongue rubs against your clit has you rocking your hips desperately into her face

- when your breathing starts to falter she will pump her digits into your sopping wet pussy to help you along

- which ends in you creaming all over her fingers

Kamijou Touma 上条当麻

- very honest

- generally likes to start slow and let you take lead

- but sometimes if he’s really needy, he will come lie on top of you when you’re on your stomach, kissing your shoulders gently

- you know what he wants straight away, his bulge pressed into the back of your bare thighs though plain grey sweatpants

- you push him back against the headboard, climbing onto his lap to straddle his waist

- he grabs your hips, kissing you and roughly grinding up into you while pulling off your shirt

- soon he pulls of your panties too, your messy cunt drooling all over the fabric of his sweatpants, making a visible wet patch on the grey fabric

- “so you’ve been waiting all day for this too, huh?”

- he rubs your clit gently as you sink down on his member, your walls fluttering around his cock at the stretch

- having you on top of him and watching your face as he rubs tight circles around your clit turns him on more than anything

- he’d let you ride him all night

- as much as you want to, by the time he’s about to cum your thighs are sore and your core is throbbing

- since you’re too tired he’ll grab your hips and help you along

- mumbles out praise as he finishes, still bouncing you on his lap

- “you look so perfect like this”

- the king of aftercare, always makes sure you’re okay and gets you whatever you need

- he will cook for you, bring you a warm towel, run you a bath

- ...which sometimes leads to round two

- always checking that he did good and that you’re satisfyed

- if not, he will gladly go down on you, or make you cum around his fingers until you can’t form proper sentences anymore

- he secretly hopes you’re not satisfied yet

- gives you one of his shirts to wear after <3

Mikasa Mikoto 御坂美琴

- tsundere, so tsundere

- “i-idiot, don’t touch me there...”

- “wait! no... actually, p-please don’t stop”

- blushes at every little touch you give her

- hickeys make her melt under your touch, especially on her neck

- and in return you get to hear all the cute moans and noises she makes <3

- at first she gets super shy about letting you see her body, so you only take off her shorts and panties

- before holding her against the wall and putting your face up her skirt :)

- you can feel her legs get shakey as you suck gently on her clit, so you make sure to hold her up well

- when she’s close she will grab your hair roughly and squeeze your head between her thighs while stuttering out apologises to you

- one time you even made her come so hard with your tongue that she shocked you with her electricity a bit

- but now she only uses her electricity whenever your vibrator runs out of charge, or occasionally on your clit if you ask her nicely

- kiss her and tell her how good she did for you

- while you’re on top of her distracted by her lips, she will slip her hand into your panties and finger you

- the way she works her hands on you is absolutely sinful, it’s obvious that she must practice on herself

- won’t let you pull away to catch your breath, because she’s embarrased of how red her face gets

- it helps her to get more comfortable knowing that she can return the favor for you though

- once she relaxes a bit, holding her on your lap and using your vibrator on her is like a sight from heaven

- you wrap your arms around her body and alternate between grabbing at her soft breasts with your free hand, and curling your fingers into her velvety walls

- the way that her eyes begin to water as she bites into her lip to stop herself from moaning is truly to die for

- naturally, you squish her cheeks and make sure she lets every last whimper and moan out of that pretty mouth of her’s

- “w-wait... but I -ah, can’t keep my voice down”

- it’s okay, that’s exactly what you wanted <3

Sogiita Gunha 削板軍覇

- actually really sweet

- very enthusiastic

- he thinks you’re the most beautiful and precious person in the whole world and will absolutely make sure you know that

- mans will finger fuck the insecurity out of your body if you even think about being shy around him

- his number one goal is to make you feel as good as possible

- always asking for your consent before anything

- “please can I kiss you pretty baby?”

- “please can you sit on my lap?”

- “please can you sit on my face?”

- feeds off of your moans when he’s pleasuring you

- the louder you are, the harder and faster he’ll go

- whatever he lacks in experience, he makes up for with enthusiasm and stamina

- so much praise

- “you sound so pretty baby doll”

- loves when you scratch his back, or when you tell him how good he’s doing

- sometimes doesn’t realise when you’ve come so he accidentally overstims you

- lets you start on top so you can adjust to his size

- but always gets too excited and starts to bounce you up and down on his cock himself like you’re a stupid little fuck toy

- he’ll probably be moaning even louder than you are

- triple checks that you’re comfy before he grabs you by the ass, lifts you up and fucks you against the wall

- wants to pound you against everything; the couch, the bed, the kitchen counter, the window... you name it, he’ll do it

- lasts for so damn long without ever getting tired

- he can make you come at least three times in one round

- the angle of his pelvic bone hitting against your clit with every thrust doesn’t help that matter

- or his cock hammering repeatedly against your g spot

- when he is finally about to finish, he will hold onto your flesh hard enough to leave bruises, pushing himself as deeply inside of you as humanly possible until you can feel the tip of his cock hitting your cervix

- if you let him, he will breed you and stuff you full of his cum

Shirai Kuroko 白井黒子

(A/N: the characters in ‘Kuroko’ directly translates to “black child” and it always makes me laugh whenever Mikasa is like “KUROKOOOOOO” cause literally no one would call their kid that in English)

- takes no shit, A+ brat tamer

- dresses up in the skimpiest little lingere sets she knows you love, and watches you get all flustered 

- things can go one of two ways:

- one, you act like her obedient little fuck whore and do everything she says

- two, she teases you for hours then makes you watch as she rides your thigh without ever letting you cum

- kuroko has so many toys... but don’t worry, she loves to share with you

- first she orders you to make yourself cum in front of her, observing how you work your fingers against your clit and blush in embarrasment at her gaze

- soon enough though she won’t be able to help herself anymore, perching herself on top of you so her ass is wiggling just above your face, your wet cunt in her full view

- presses her tongue flat against your clit and laps you up like it’s her last meal

- your moans make her go absolutely feral, even more so when you’re pushing your tongue between her folds

- the vibrations from her panting and moaning around your clit, and the view of her pretty pussy right in your face is almost too much for you

- especially when she is going down on you so well like that

- pumping one finger experimentally into her messy cunt, followed by a second, you continue to lick at her clit

- watching you play with your pussy really made her soaked huh

- as much as you want her to cream all over your fingers and cum on your face, she is insistent on making sure you finish first

- she gets off to you is just a giver like that <3

- puts you into the wildest positions and fucks you with a double sided dildo, a hitachi wand held on your clit

- very vocal, loves teasing you while her free hand is wrapped tightly around your throat

- “come on baby, use your words, tell me how much you like it”

- she’ll coo at you innocently, knowing damn well you couldn’t speak if you wanted to

- “i guess you don’t like this... i’ll just have to stop then, what a shame”

- you better believe she’s not gonna continue fucking you until you’re sobbing and begging for her to keep going

- of course that is exactly what she wants, to turn you into a submissive slut all for her own personal use <3

[imma-potatoo]

Game Night

Requested by @superwholockandpfl

Ships: pre-relationship Loceit

Warnings: none that I know of? Arguing maybe?

------

The mindscape was bustling. Each side, light and dark alike, had an ear to ear smile and a task to complete. These tasks are very specific and were meant to distract the sides to ensure that no fights were to break out over whether Pringles or Lays were better…. But then again, there were always slackers with the tasks, and it was always the side that you expected the least. Example A: Logan Sanders. Logan was meant to be picking the board games, but instead, he was arguing with Janus over if they could-

“Janus we are not playing poker!” Logan huffed as he put the chips and deck away. Logan knew the very second he first met the yellow side that they were either going to be the greatest rivals or completely inseparable…. Logan couldn’t tell which one was applied.

Janus rolled his eyes and smirked, “well why not?!” he leaned in closer to Logan, trying to be intimidating but failing spectacularly as Logan was a good head taller than him, “I see no reason to blacklist such a fun game!”

Logan blinked as his mouth gaped open slightly, “You cheat every time we play!” he leaned closer to Janus, his face was exasperated but he always enjoyed their debates.

Janus tilted his head up, a smirk on his lips. “Is that so?” laughing lightly at Logan’s hum of agreement, “and here you are, acting as if you don’t count cards~”

“That’s a completely lega-”

“WILL YOU TWO STOP FLIRTING FOR FIVE SECONDS AND DO YOUR JOBS?!?” The left-brained duo leaped apart from their placements, faces beet red as Virgil shouted from the living room. They couldn’t see the purple side but they could tell from his voice that he was smirking.

The two looked at each other hesitantly; Janus chewed on his lip, a small fang poking out. Logan was in complete shock; his mouth opening and closing as he scrambled to grab a board game. His attention was back to picking the best games strategically to make for the best game night, Logan swore that he heard Patton laugh from the kitchen.

Janus didn’t notice the games the logical side grabbed as he ran to go finish his task, scrambling to collect blankets and pillows to make the living room as cozy as possible. Janus scowled when Virgil cackled at his bright red face, sticking out his forked tongue like a displeased child only made the purple side laugh harder. Janus peered around the couch to see Logan reading the back of Clue. Virgil brought his attention back quickly by singing, “Janus and Logan, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I- mmpph!!!!”

A pillow was pushed onto Virgil’s face by the logical side. Logan somehow managed to blush more when he heard Virgil singing, “That’s quite enough from you Virgil.” a clever grin on his face as Virgil pushed the pillow away with a glare.

Logan opened his mouth to scold Virgil when he felt his heart fly away. Janus broke his cool reserve and laughed. It wasn’t one of his deep chuckles, but a light airy laugh from pure joy. It showed Janus’ fangs; two small ones poking out between his lips, light brown curls falling in front of his eyes, which were skewed up in amusement. Logan could feel a lump form in his throat when he heard Janus go into another round of laughter.

Virgil sighed, “POPSTAR?” a muffled yeah was heard in the kitchen, “CODE YELLOW” quiet giggles were heard for a few seconds before Janus was called to help Patton cut the fruit for a platter. Janus wiped some tears from his eyes and walked out to the kitchen. Virgil turned around to face Logan, “Dude, you gotta stop with the puppy eyes.”

Logan crossed his arms with a huff, “I don’t have puppy eyes…”

The purple side rolled his eyes, “you’re a really bad liar dude.” the silence in the room was deafening before Virgil sighed, “just go get the games.” Virgil went back to compiling a playlist.

It was only another twenty minutes before all the sides were crowded around the coffee table, Roman and Remus had their weapons taken away for the safety of everyone playing, Virgil and Patton were sitting in the middle to separate the other four, Janus and Logan were sitting across from each other; both of them sneaking glances of the other while they weren’t looking.

Patton smiled “Ok kiddos! What game are we playing first?!” 

The sides turned to Logan as he pulled out a medium white sized box, red letters standing out in the background. Six characters stood out as they were arranged in different positions in the lounge. Remus grinned as Roman looked puzzled, Virgil had a smirk and Patton smiled nervously as he took the white box from Logan. Logan could feel Janus’ pleasure from the game choice, after all; it was one that Janus would love. Clue.

Logan gazed into the yellow sides eyes as the others battled over pieces. Janus seemed happy… or maybe intrigued? Janus was certainly giving him a look that he didn't normally give the side. “Can I help you?” 

“You hate Clue.”

“Do I?”

Janus rolled his eyes, “don’t play dumb with me. You find the game easy and non-challenging.”

“So? I don’t see how that is relevant.” Logan laced his fingers together as he leaned towards the scaled side who leaned in to mimic, his eyebrow quirked up.

“So. I love Clue…” Janus was leaning closer, staring at the warm dark eyes of the logical side.

Logan could feel his cheeks start to heat up slightly, it wasn’t enough to be noticeable but it was very much there. “I can assure you that it ha-”

“What's next Lo-Lo?! Gonna bend J- OW?!” The coarse voice of Remus tore the duo apart. Cheeks flushing heavily and absolutely speechless. Roman thankfully smacked Remus over the head with the empty game box, stopping the inappropriate comment. Remus cackled as the two struggled to find their voices.

“A-absolutely not! That’s absurd seeing how both Janus and I are asexual an-” Logan’s stuttering response was interrupted by an equally flushed Patton.

“L-lets just start playing the game”

It took a good half an hour before the two left-brained sides could get their blush to calm down and by that time, the sides were well into the game and the twins had already lost due to them accusing too early and getting it completely wrong.

“Janus! You can’t move there! When you roll the dice the square you’re standing on counts as one of the moves!” Janus rolled his eyes at the blue side.

“Watch me!” Janus sneered as he reached his hand towards the yellow piece, his face being replaced with a grimace once Logan snatched the piece from his grip. Moving it five squares when Janus rolled a six. Janus furrowed his brows, “Fix it.”

The others were turning their heads back and forth to each side. Curious looks and wondering if the duo was really going to fight over a game made for eight-year-olds. “There is nothing to fix because this is the correct way to play.” “That is bullshit!” “those are the rules, Janus!” “That’s a lie!” “How would you know?” “I am the lie!” “You’re just upset that you can’t win by being cute!!”

Janus flushed completely, “W-what?” his voice was wavering, ears tinting, mouth gaped open as his brain struggled to form words

It was only Janus’ confusion that made him realize what he just said. His face erupted in red as he stumbled to find a sizable excuse for his slip, “I- I mean objectively obviously…”

“Obviously” Janus mumbled back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“....Obviously.” Logan played with the rim on a glass of water, picking it up to have a sip.

Silence surrounded the living room, the only sound being the breathing of the sides and the subtle sound of the group playlist. Awkward sips from cups and curious glances with one another, Patton cleared his throat, “So... it’s my turn?”

The others nodded as Virgil looked under the table to view the other games (mainly to see how many games were left) grimacing when he saw Uno, Monopoly, Poker, CandyLand, and Scrabble. Virgil sighed, knowing this was going to be a long night.

Roman and Virgil walked to the kitchen to refill their glasses a little while later. Virgil poured while Roman looked out to the living room. Janus and Logan were arguing again. “They are completely hopeless, right edgelord?”

“Oh definitely.” Virgil took a small sip of his coke, “... I’ll bet you ten bucks that Logan will ask Janus out first.”

Roman smoothed out his sash and picked up his drink, “Just ten? You got a deal, emo!” Roman swirled the dark fizzy liquid in the cup, “Besides. Janus is DEFINITELY asking Logan out first.”

Virgil smirked as he walked towards the group once more, “we’ll see I guess. Come on Princey, I gotta beat you at scrabble.

The other two sides also joined their bet a few hours later, all while Janus and Logan argued over if ‘incomprehensibilities’ was a valid word for Scrabble.

Completely Platonic obviously.

----

Writing requests are open!!

No romantic prinexity or r*mr*m!

[crazytxgradstudent]

Gap Year

     “Why don’t you go and give it a try?”

     I turned, my cheeks reddening at having been caught spying. My embarrassment deepened as I saw it was Joe, the most well-rounded fighter at this club. The one everyone said was going to go on and be famous one day. The one who’s gaze I could never hold for very long. I looked down at my feet and mumbled something incomprehensible about not wanting to bother anyone.

     Joe was one of the Judo students here at my host family’s gym, and over the course of my gap year here abroad in Indonesia, I had developed a ridiculous crush on him. I didn’t know how old he was, but I knew he was older than my 18 years. And I had barely spoken a few sentences with him prior to today. I was so embarrassing with my shyness. 

     Joe tapped me on my shoulder, and my eyes darted up to his face. His eyes crinkled at the corner as he gave me a small smile, and I had to look away again. He was a lot more handsome up close.

     He continued. “Trust me, they won’t mind. And I bet they will probably be a little happy to have another woman with them.”

     I shook my head as I stared back over at the women on the mats.  “No. I can’t. I’d look stupid.”

     Joe snorted. “Everyone looks a little stupid in the beginning. Why do you care what others think?”

     Because I don’t want anyone – least of all you, Joe! – watching me embarrass myself, I wanted to scream at him, but all I did was shrug my shoulders and give a weak answer. 

    “I can’t. Look at me. I’m not in good shape.” I gestured down at my thick self, cringing at willingly bringing Joe’s attention to my shortcomings. My hands came around my waist protectively. 

    “I think you look fine, and if you want to get in shape, Muy Thai is the way to go.” He leaned forward, and in a conspiratorial whisper finished – “But I’m partial to Judo if you really want to get tough.”

@wind-goddess-eri​ ohhh gosh here I go haha 

**If you don’t like RPF, don’t read this!**

[moondustaeil]

cynosure ⌖ lee jeno

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ✧☾.·:·.cynosure

⠀ ⠀⠀ about

⋅  genre : contract killer/gangster!au : romance, fluff, angst

⋅  characters : Jeno x fem!reader and ot21

⋅ word count : 17k (yes, it’s a lot)

⋅  warning : violence, use of weapons, gambling, kidnapping, betrayal, blackmailing, timeskips, murder, blood, character death, roughly based on bap’s skydive. Don’t read if you’re not ready

⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀ synopsis

⋅  Contact-killer Jeno finds himself lurking between twenty possible perpetrators. One mission-based game with only few chances to save y/n, if it’s not too late that is. Only one gets to be the last man standing, but who will be the lucky cynosure?

suıǝ 

“Lee Jeno”

The voice of unofficial leader Taeyong made Jeno look up from the tiled floor. It was the strictness of the voice that required him to pay attention. “What?” He asked.

“I just did the casting but if you’re uninterested, don’t bother to come. You know what that means, right?” Taeyong asked, his white hair falling in front of his eyes as he tilted his head to the side. Not that Taeyong expected an answer, and not that Jeno was willing to give the answer even if it was expected from him. All twenty-one members were aware of the one unwritten rule, perhaps a little selfish to remember that one but forget the remaining ones. Everyone knew, and yet there was one person who felt like reminding everyone. “More money for the rest” words said by no other than wiseacre Doyoung.

A silent sigh threatened to escape from Jeno’s lips, but the word “money” kept him hostage despite not being interested in a new robbery. “Just give me my task please,” he said while his eyes traveled from Taeyong to the other nineteen people around him: wearing the same black outfits, carrying the same uninterested attitude, and still it was him who got called out. “Easy. You and Yangyang, clean up after the rest leaves.”

“Cleaning up your mess? Am I a trashcan or something?! All I’ve been doing in the past weeks is clean up behind your dirty ass, wiping blood from floors like I’m cleaning snot from a baby’s face” Jeno opened his book of mental complaints, letting them flow out mindlessly. It wasn’t exaggerated as in the past few weeks he had only been paired up with younger members, given the task to make proof disappear as stars disappeared from the night sky. 

“Audition for a different part next time, loverboy” Taeyong shot back upon hearing the complaint about his casting method, his words gaining strength from Donghyuck who was making soppy kissing noises in the background. When was the teasing finally going to stop? Did he prefer scolding instead? Yes, he did. At least scolding wasn't as hard to ignore as bratty behavior. "At least I'm not lonely" Jeno quietly protested despite feeling lonely in the group of twenty other young men, no one seemed to take his side and those who considered taking it were silenced. 

Laughter followed after his words. These were his friends, his enemies hidden behind a tight string that tied them together. This was neo culture technology, and he belonged to the limitless set of demons. 

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

"I'm not from NCT, I'm a part of wayV" Yangyang insisted as he pointlessly raised his finger in the air to prove his point.

Jeno couldn't help but let out an annoyed sigh at the younger boy. After nearly three-quarters of an hour, he was tired of the constant boyish behavior... Little did he know he acted like that too around older members.

"That's the same thing, just not in public. You're even lucky you got in, I bet no one else wanted an annoying orange" Jeno shot back. Pacing back and forth in the dark alley, shadows didn't even follow him as there was no light to give him the double life. "At least I didn't get stuck in a group named dream, with some other teenage kids. Speaking of, when are you going to graduate?"

Jeno swallowed thickly when he heard the question, his focus changing from the annoying boy to the content of the things he said. It was ridiculous to fear a simple graduation while he risked his life at least once a week. No one in the dream team dared to urge a word about graduating, scared it would speed up the process.

Where would he go once he graduated?

Perhaps his rank would be higher as he moved into another unit. Or this was the end of his young life in the environment, or even in the world. Time would give him an answer, though he preferred not knowing the answer to that question.

Dream was a wonderful unit as the name already stated. Wonderful enough to make it sound like they were a clubhouse rather than a gang.

"I don't know" Jeno answered truthfully, his eyes lowering towards the black earpiece in the palm of his hand. With a sigh, his fist clenched around the piece of plastic. "We should focus on the mission now. Even if we're just the blood wipers, I want to know what's going on" he said, moving the earpiece from the palm of his hand into his ear.

Yangyang was quick to follow the lead despite his natural reaction of following his own nature. The millennium kid had made his official debut to the gang in 2019, January to be exact. The training he was required to follow before that date didn't prepare him much for the real job. When he wasn't being annoying, or rather, when he was feeling insecure, he would follow the lead of older members. And apparently, this minute had hit a certain level on his insecurity meter.

Gunshot

The sound seemed to break the talk Jeno and Yangyang had between the two of them but in reality, it was the earpiece that separated their vocal connection momentarily. Nothing but footsteps and some incomprehensible words falling from voices he didn't recognize.

Gunshot

This time things seemed to get more frantic. The quiet footsteps seemed to turn into a nonexistent escape route and he could hear Taeyong yelling something to the rest of the team.

"Take the money"

Protests followed after those words, the same voice from before begging for either his life or the packs of money. But between gangs: there was no such thing as concern for justice, peace, or respect for each other. Humans were no people, they were animals hunting for the prey. 

Gunshot

That was the cue. The third gunshot existed but ended just seconds after its birth. "Go" Jeno announced to Yangyang, pushing the boy out of the alley as he followed behind.

Multitasking between looking around to check surroundings and listening to the other members leaving the site was hard, surely when he had Yangyang to watch over as if he was a toddler from barely two years old.

Time ticked by as the members did their own tasks, as many members left the site: Yangyang and Jeno entered the site, Doyoung and Kun took out their earpieces from their hideout. That's how neo culture technology worked: alone together. Each with an own task, all for one pot of money.

Between the identified color of blood and forgotten bills of green gold. Jeno found himself with one earpiece dangling on his shoulder, replaced by his phone that was currently pressed against his ear.

"I'll be with you soon" he spoke into the phone to break the silence you had offered him. It wasn't an awkward silence until you connected the soppy sounds together with him not saying much, someone else's blood was getting erased from the floor but would drip from his glove-covered fingers instead. "Just be safe, not quick," you said in a soft tone, hushing yourself just in case the walls had ears.

Jeno couldn't help but chuckle softly at your worried nature, totally ignoring Yangyang and the task that he was given. "You know me," he said into the phone, already knowing which answer you would give, and he was waiting for those exact words. Your reply followed not long after, the smile audible as you spoke, "That's why I said it."

"See you soon, y/n"

ıǝʍz

The pearly white silk protected your skin from the fitted sheet that covered the mattress. Smoothly and without friction, your sleepy body turned itself forty-five degrees.

Heaven seemed to live its secret life in your bedroom: no sounds, no such thing as too much or too little. The symbolic golden spoon-fed you and Jeno, in reality, it was made possible with money from robberies and killer contracts.

A soft sniffling sound turned heaven a little bit cold, your eyes opening from your own sounds. Your side felt uncomfortable now that you turned to it but felt the bones through layers of skin, yet, your body had no intention to make you comfortable again.

Next to you was your boyfriend, Lee Jeno, your first and hopefully last. The naturally dark roots fell over his closed eyelids, shielding him away from the miracle of a new day. His broad shoulders half-covered with the sheet, the other half showing up from where the same sheet was crumpled together.

The peaceful feeling made you blink slowly, on the verge of falling back into a light slumber. Until, in the midst of blinking, your eyes noticed the lonely dot on the sheet.

As red as love, shot through the arrow of Cupid.

Sobered up from your drowsy moment, your body untangled itself from Jeno's. Your face hovered close enough to the red dot to see that the dot no longer seemed a dot: whatever it had been before, its wetness had seeped into the sheets overnight to create something that changed the circular form if you looked close enough.

The heap of sheets suddenly felt like a rag covered in blood, and you were in the midst of it. That little dot, that tiny little dot, made you feel even tinier than the few inches it was.

"Lie down, it's cold" Jeno's voice interrupted your silent investigation. A crime scene unfolding as you still had to check whether the blood was from either of you or not, but the map with possible hints was quickly thrown overboard when your boyfriend made his appearance.

Your body was frozen in its position, your lips tightly pursed together which prevented you from giving an answer to your boyfriend. "y/n?" Jeno asked, his eyes finally opening when he realized you weren't lying down with him again. His brown eyes were greeted with your silk-covered back, your shoulders tense enough to make it noticeable. "What's wrong?" Out of worry, he sat up as well, his arm lazily slinging around your shoulder as a sign of comfort.

"Please talk," Jeno said, the hand on your shoulder pushing you into his arms but your muscles wouldn't allow that. It was then that he noticed you were staring at something, his eyes angling themselves the same way as yours in order to see what you were looking at. And that's when he saw it,

the droplet of blood on the Virgin-white sheet.

As used as Jeno was to blood and gore, he found himself staring at the little dry patch for a few seconds. Unlike your mind, his wasn't focused on finding answers to questions, he just stared with a black expression displayed on his face.

"Whose blood is this?" You asked him, your arm pushing his arm as you immediately wanted an answer. Even if it was a lie, an answer was an answer. Jeno licked his lower lip before he separated the upper and lower part to start speaking "It's mine" he uttered out, the two words coming out slow even though he finished speaking after one second.

You looked away from the blood, instead, looking at your boyfriend. A question mark seemed to be written on your face, though, it was only a symbolic sign for your confusion. "Yours?" You asked him, eyes begging for an explanation instead of your words. "Mine. When we were cleaning up the scene I cut myself on a bayonet. I forgot about it and just went to bed"

Jeno's words made you throw off the sheets as fast as possible, not that you wanted to get rid of the little droplet, but if he was telling the truth, you had to clean up the wound for him. "Fuck, Jeno" you whispered in shock as the fitted sheet was now not only white but also had a red gradient in it. The patches were still partially wet, and those that weren't had started to discolor. 

Jeno's eyes didn't follow yours this time, knowing well enough what was going on near the end of the bed. "Let me get everything to clean it up," you said quickly, not waiting for a reply as you got up from the bed and ran around the place to get the first-aid kit.

Minutes after, you found yourself and Jeno sitting on the clean side of the bed. His back pressed against the soft headboard while you sat on top of your pillow, his arm resting in your lap while you took care of the wound. While you cleaned the wound, your tough contract-killer boyfriend had winced due to the stinging of the alcohol in his open gash. He should have been used to it by now, it was something monthly as sometimes they stupidly got hurt during their robberies.

"I should have told you, but you were asleep. And it was past midnight" Jeno tried to explain to you, looking at you rather than the open wound. He wasn't the type to look at it continuously, which probably was surprising seeing his profession. "You should've" you answered to his words, not giving him more attention since you didn't want to mess up and make the cut worse. "I will next time," he told you, but mostly himself. A spoonful of lies that he swallowed down, he wouldn't wake you up in the middle of the night for a stupid cut.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Jeno opened his eyes again for what felt like the second time that day, in reality, it was the second time that day. Tiredness had taken over his body after the crime scene cleanup, or two of them as he could suddenly remember how you cleaned the cut this morning.

"y/n?" He asked out loud, scanning his surroundings momentarily but was quick to conclude that you weren't there with him.

As tired as his body was, he sat up and got out of bed. Replacing his lazy sweatpants by the usual black outfit, not forgetting to layer over the bandage on his arm. No one had to know he got hurt, not even Yangyang knew as he had mistaken Jeno's blood for that of the enemy.

He called out your name again as his steps quickened once he was out of the bedroom. Panic spread through his body as he became aware of his hate for you living in your own apartment instead of at his hideout with the others. No one could protect you, apparently not even him when he was around.

"calm down, Jeno" your voice called out from the kitchen, immediately he followed the sound of your voice, and more than that the scent of fresh breakfast. The frown he unknowingly had on his face was replaced with a look of relief. "I'm calm" he answered, steps slowing down until he was able to reach out to you.

His arm wrapped around your waist in an attempt to pull you closer, or an attempt to apologize for not telling you about the wound. "You didn't even say good morning" he complained in a more playful way, needing affection as he did feel a bit down after what happened and the way he was treated by the others. "It wasn't exactly a good one," you said, trying to smile despite your feelings. Was it disappointment? Or were you just worried about him?

"I know, sorry" Jeno mumbled, his head meaning towards your neck before he placed a tiny kiss upon the skin. He could imagine that waking up to heaps of blood wasn't the most pleasant thing, he didn't have to imagine it though as he had gone through it together with you.

Your standard answer laid on the tip of your tongue, it was only a matter of seconds before your lips parted and you let the words escape. "It's fine" were those words, words that you used weekly if not daily. Jeno knew that it wasn't fine, and you knew that Jeno knew. Yet, neither of you protested against those words.

"I love you, you know that right?" Jeno asked you, his lips trailing towards the side of your face. You had a hard time not smiling, but as soon as his lips were placed against the corner of your lips, those corners curved upwards. "I know" you confirmed, your head lightly tilting to enjoy the warmth of his lips against your skin. "I love you too," you said back to him, finally turning your head for a small peck upon each other's lips.

Breakfast took place on the sofa, the two of you sitting intimately close to each other while having some minor talks. Talks about your life rather than his, because he didn't want to put you at a risk by giving you too much information.

"Why don't you live with us..." Jeno started his sentence but never got to finish as you held up your hand and finished it off for him. "It's a lot safer?" You asked, using your index and middle finger as quotation marks.

He nodded as soon as you finished what he started, nervously tugging on his lower lip with his teeth. "It's a lot safer and we would see each other more," he said. You would say yes because you would see him more, but you still said no because it wouldn't he safer at all. Moving in with him would mean that you stood in the midst of chaos, safe, but one mistake and the circle pulled you in as a guest.

"I don't know, I'll think about it," you said with a tiny smile on your lips, which disappeared due to the frozen reaction of your boyfriend. "Please do," he told you, putting down the finished bowl of cereal before he leaned back.

It seemed like he didn't care after that. Though in his mind war was going on: could he manipulate you into living with him? And did he do it for your safety or just because he wanted to be close to you?

ıǝɹp

Jeno [ 9 : 19 am ] : good morning x

The small hand of the clock had moved itself upwards while Jeno waited for a response, he hadn't heard the seconds tick by but was aware of how slow they were passing.

"Why aren't you awake yet?" He asked himself out loud, unaware of the members that were in the same room as him. Though it was Renjun who decided to get up and make his way towards his friend: as quiet and savage as he was, Renjun cared deeply and was ready to fight anyone who hurt his friends.

"What's wrong?" Renjun asked, his eyes on Jeno rather than his phone to give the man his privacy. Jeno's response was silence for a few seconds, but after a short sigh he decided to speak up. "y/n isn't answering my texts. She was busy today so she can't be sleeping" he said, slamming the phone against his free hand in frustration and worry.

Renjun couldn't help but smile to himself at Jeno's contradicting words. "Did you hear what you just said?" He asked, trying not to laugh because it was cringeworthily adorable to see Jeno worrying so much about you. Jeno didn't reply as he didn't see the point, he knew well enough what he said: you were busy so you couldn't be sleeping, which meant something must have happened to you.

In his head he was already imagining how another gang broke into your home and killed you without mercy, yet, he saw your alive form in his imagination.

"y/n is busy, that means she can't reply to you because she's doing other things. You said so yourself" Renjun pointed out, snapping Jeno out of his filthy imagination. Perhaps Renjun was right but that didn't stop Jeno from worrying about you, and yes, he had reasons to worry about you.

In the meantime Chenle had also joined, his read resting on Renjun's shoulder as he was listening to the conversation. "I think Renjun is right about that. y/n is probably busy, you just said that yourself so why are you expecting her to reply?" the youngster inquired. It wasn't a real inquiry as the two other boys were just trying to make Jeno see the context of the situation and the reason why you weren't replying to a simple morning text.

In their eyes, it had been merely one hour that passed by, in Jeno's eyes it was like you hadn't messaged him all week. It couldn't be ignorance, you would never purposely ignore him, not even on your worst day. The image of someone killing you continued to live on his thoughts.

"I bet you're right" Jeno concluded, his phone dropping on the little coffee table in the middle of the living space. His lips carried a fake smile, unable to kill his thoughts despite the tries of his dream team.

Everyone could see the smile was fake. Even Hendery who was on the other side of the room could see the fabricated facial expression. But no one spoke up about it: not even Renjun and Chenle who had been trying to guide him through the thorny path just seconds ago.

The minutes continued to pass by, it seemed like time had no motive to move forward, perhaps it even wanted to move back to another moment in its big fragment album.

When Taeyong walked in, the time had seemingly decided it was time to follow the leader. "I got our next mission" he declared, holding the big white envelope between his index and middle finger like he was proudly showing it off to the twenty guys in the room.

He opened the envelope, handing everyone a little bundle of white papers. The Korean writing on it revealing who they were supposed to kill, whether they had to take money, and if they could elegantly kill the person or if it would be a bloody job.

"We're killing this man for our mission. He's forty-one years old, one of the better people for his age... At least in his job." Taeyong quickly described as his own information sheet was thrown on top of the table, he knew his victims before they were even his. "Just a bullet through his skull, as elegant as possible. Clean up the scene and that's the job" he continued his plan, it became clear this wasn't a twenty-one people job. A maximum of five people could be assigned to this, otherwise, they would become their own victims.

"Price tag is 100.000 for the hit. Divided by the dream team who will do the job. Jaemin will lead the team and cast the others" Taeyong said, giving a bod as a sign that was all they had to do. Though behind the five-person job was a broader network: people who were always waiting somewhere close in case things got a red code, others who stayed at the hideout but listened through their earpiece and updated on possible information as they kept control over the surrounding streets.

Jeno glanced at his bundle of information. His eyes on the little picture of the man he was supposed to kill, unless Jaemin cast him in the cleaning team again, but he wasn't going to let that happen this time. His eyes needed only one scan over the text to get the man's name and situation, not missing how he had a daughter of nine years old and a son who was merely five. Information about a wife or partner wasn't included but guessed the man had no time for love or his children seeing his profession.

"Jeno, can you come with me? I need to speak to you" Taeyong asked seriously, his eyes on Jeno who still seemed caught up in reading the mission. Jeno looked up slowly but his eyes quickly shifted when the youngest, Jisung, snatched the papers out of his hand and threw them on the table. "Go," he said, trying to do his best on impressing the others even if he had been a part of the team for years.

Jeno nodded his head slowly, getting up from his seat and followed Taeyong towards the empty office space. Once both were in, the door was closed and silence filled the space like furniture was supposed to do.

"Something wrong with you?" Taeyong asked, his arms crossed, and yet his posture seemed open enough to trust him. Jeno shook his head at first: not ready to tell him how he was worried about you, and not ready to tell him even more than just that. "Nope" Jeno answered, his casual speech making him lore suspicious. And Taeyong who saw the tiniest details knew Jeno was giving false information.

"I'm just worried about y/n" Jeno admitted, breaking eye contact as he knew Taeyong could look through him. "I knew this would happen, that's why we don't have girlfriends," Taeyong said, though the tone he said it in didn't match the words, it was sounding more caring than the words truly were. "She didn't reply to my text earlier. It's been over an hour, almost two hours, and she still didn't reply" Jeno continued off where he left earlier, leaving Taeyong’s words in the dark.

"And why are you so worried? Usually, you're too busy to even notice she didn't answer." Taeyong stated, his eyes narrowing as he needed Jeno to specifically tell him what was going on behind the scenes. Perhaps he knew what was going on, but preferred to hear it from Jeno's lips instead.

"because someone sent me a picture of her while she was outside."

ɹǝıʌ

"So you're not staying the night?" You asked Jeno just to be sure, but the way he was preparing his gun didn't make it seem like he would stay the night. Your eyes picked up how he shook his head in response, his lips pursed not to spill more secrets about the contract he had signed for tonight. You would be the one killing him if you heard he was going to kill someone who had two young kids and still half of his life to live. You just didn't understand his job, which was the reason talks about that were nonexistent.

You nodded in response to his little signal, your phone clutched in your hand as you tried to hide a bit of the frustration. Fighting about this wasn't common, but arguments were as for him it was just a delete button that he had to press, while you saw it as killing real humans who had something to live for.

"And I'm going out with Dream after that" Jeno said quickly as he looked up at you, hoping that part would make you smile a bit. And to his surprise, that smile appeared on your lips. "Finally some time for yourself" you commented just as he expected you to. For some reason you always liked to see him doing his own things: going out with his friends, exercising because he loved doing so, going outside without a gun hidden behind his zipped up jacket.

You stood up and let out a silent sigh as you stepped towards your boyfriend. Once he was close enough, your arms wrapped around his body from behind, engulfing his body as you wished he would be safe tonight. "Be safe" you whispered, your nose pressed against his shirt to take in his homely scent.

"Always," Jeno said, his hand brushing over yours as they connected on his stomach. He noticed your smaller fingers under his, his hands standing out more due to the veins and the silver ring around his finger. As a promise he would be safe and come back to you, he slipped the thick band from his finger onto yours. "See if as a promise for now," he said, his body turning towards yours to look into your eyes. You looked surprised, still tense but he could also see a bit of relief upon your face. "You should take my necklace as a piece of good luck," you said, your hands reaching behind your neck to unclasp the piece of jewelry. Once you removed it from yourself, you carefully put it on on him.

"I love you" he whispered as he smiled, the relief you had on your face, reflecting onto his as well. He was more worried about you than himself: even if he stood at a bigger risk to get killed in the mission. "I love you too," you said back with a smile, your hands resting behind his neck where you just clasped the necklace.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips, showing you indeed how much he loved you. His arms snaking around your body to hold you close: the fear of losing you still played in the back of his mind even though this time he had managed to hide it well from you.

"I should go now, I still have to get to the hideout and get the others" Jeno whispered against your soft lips, hesitating as he was trying to pull away but the warmth kept his lips glued against yours for a few seconds.

It wasn't him who eventually pulled away as you did, leaving his lips completely after one last peck. "You really should" you whispered as your body separated from his, the lack of warmth making you wrap your arms around yourself. Jeno nodded in agreement, knowing if he didn't leave now, the mission could go horribly wrong even if it was only a few minutes late.

"you don't need to tell me to be safe, I already know," he said with a small smirk on his lips, knowing you wanted to tell him those words once again. You let out a small laugh, your boyfriend knew you a little bit too well. "Still, be safe. And have fun with the boys later" you said, a soft and calm smile on your lips as you tried not to worry too much about your boyfriend... Even if he a part of the best gangs and contract killers, that didn't mean others couldn't make him a victim.

His hand brushed over yours as he walked past you, his presence leaving out of the door as soon as his body did as well.

The fortune-teller in your minds was right, troubles were on the way, even if you hadn't believed now. You would be a believer by the end of the day.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Jeno held the old-fashioned glass with liquor in one hand, the ice cubes within it making a slight ringing sound as the glass was moved towards his lips again.

"Does it take that long to clean up?" Renjun asked with a deep sigh as he glanced at the entrance, waiting until the door opened and the two youngest dream members walked in. But nothing seemed to happen, even if they had been waiting for half an hour already. "Jisung might have gone home, he can't drink anyway" Jaemin answered, an oversized wine glass standing in front of him which made the red liquid cover a part of his face.

Jeno didn't answer as he kept on glancing at the bar, his eyes on the man who seemed to sit there and enjoy his drink alone. "who is he?" Jaemin asked curiously as he tried to catch a glimpse of the man's face. Even though Jeno didn't come alone, he stood up, took his glass, and looked apologetically to his friends. "I have to talk to him, we just know each other," he told Jaemin who didn't seem satisfied with the boring answer.

Jeno went over to the bar and placed his glass down, catching the eyes of the man by just his manner of doing so. "Jeno," the man said with a slight smile on his lips, welcoming Jeno to sit next to him and talk for a little while. "Didn't expect to see you here. You dropped out before we knew it" Jeno said soft, his hand resting under his head in an attempt to look more interested than curious about the ex trainee.

"I wanted to make it alone in the world. More money for myself, fewer chances of getting caught." The man said, his wise words leaving an impression on Jeno even though he wasn't planning on leaving NCT just to get more money. "How about you? Are you still part of NCT?" He asked but already guessed the answer as he remembered Jaemin and Renjun from the few times they had seen each other while training.

"I am. I think I found my place there" Jeno answered with a smile, it felt sentimental to smile while thinking about his group of friends even though they were killers and did other things that no one was supposed to do. "You seem like you belong there, NCT is getting big. You deserve to be a part of it" He answered, his hand loving to Jeno's back to give it a little supportive pat.

Jeno's eyes shifted to the entrance as the door opened again, revealing not only Jisung and Chenle but also the other sixteen members. "I should go," he said to the man as he quickly got up, not wanting to be guilty of talking to someone else who did the same as him. He stood up but instead of going to his friends, he first went to the back of the club to try and call you.

His fingers were quick to find your contact within the list as the amount people that he saw outside of his gang were limited as well. The sight of your contact name already made a smile appear on his lips, he was just in love with you.

The beeping tone made him expect that it would last no longer than a few seconds. At this time of the night, you probably weren't asleep yet, in fact, you were probably waiting for his call. It was like a routine built up for nights when he wasn't going to be around you and yet when he wanted to update you.

"y/n?" He asked as he heard his line being connected to yours, the smile on his lips already prepared for what you were about to say. Slowly the corners of his lips tired themselves out when silence was his only reply.

Jeno repeated your name once again, the phone pressed tightly against his ear like that would make him hear the silence better. "Hello? y/n?" He asked, this time louder in case you hadn't realized you were on the phone with him.

Without realizing, he swallowed away the worries that collected in his throat. His heart seemed to beat slightly faster and out of slight panic, his fingertips quickly made an end to the one-way conversation. Yet, he kept the phone in his hand just in case you would call him back right away, or just to call your number again within a short time.

His feet to him back to the bar as he saw his glass still as filled as before, though, not awaiting for him as much as an unfamiliar black envelope did. The young man he had talked with minutes ago was gone as he had never been there, or like he had been replaced by the envelope.

Jeno's hands were curious and grasped the clasp envelope from the bar and between his two fingers, scanning the paper case for a handwritten message or name. Though only the black color greeted him from every angle possible. It didn't take long before the flap was undone from its glue and opened up.

Nervously his hand stuck inside the paper wrapper, gripping onto anything that his fingers could sense. He felt tense as his hand slowly revealed itself again with all of the collected documentation.

A picture was flipped between his fingers, his eyes unprepared for the image that was burned on the retina just seconds later.

"y/n" he whispered quietly as he stared at the picture of you. Jeno's eyes went over every little detail of the picture: your eyes closed but not entirely, your hands that weren't in the picture but from the angle of your arms they weren't really placed comfortably and your knees that were pulled up towards your chest like you were freezing. Something definitely was wrong.

Wildly Jeno began to look around in the club, searching for the culprit as the envelope couldn't have flown itself to here. His eyes began to examine all of the people around: the members who seemed all occupied in their own thing, a small group of girls who were just having a drink, the people on the dance floor acting drunker than they actually were. But where was the barman? Jeno was about to suspect him until he saw the man return with a few bottles of champagne.

The other documents in the envelope were forgotten as he went to his group, more specifically, Taeyong as he would know what to do. The urge to not say anything and go straight to your apartment overpowered him: anyone was a suspect, even his best friends.

Rational thinking didn't seem to pop up into his mind, straight away leaving the place together with the evidence. Even though he came with the others, he was stupid enough to run all the way to your apartment.

His veins were filled with dynamite

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Steganography

A message within a file, that was what Jeno was staring at. The message had been revealed on the back of your picture, or the picture of you. His eyes scanned each syllable slowly even though, together they would form words that would turn into sentences once they were put together.

Invisible ink. Just those two words didn't sit well with him, and then he wasn't even thinking about the odd fragrance that was now stuck to the picture. Did he ever use invisible ink? No, but he knew people who used it. And those people were a little too close to him.

"It's do or die."

Jeno mumbled as he read out the words, staring at the unfamiliar handwriting until something else caught his eye. In the right corner of the picture was an address written, together with a very specific time. The place he knew all too well: another dark alley between a couple of houses that were open for rent, but no one was willing to live there because it was infamous to be a dealing place or even worse than that.

The words on the back of the picture slowly turned invisible again, so slow that Jeno didn't even notice how they faded before completely disappearing. He didn't need to see them again: it was printed in his mind like the image of his first kiss with you.

He turned his wrist and checked the time, mentally checking if it was close to the time that had been asked of him. "Shit" he silently cursed when he saw that in fact, there were only a few minutes left before he was supposed to be at the given address. Without thinking twice, he bolted from your apartment and started to run the way to the alley, hoping he would get to meet the person who had you captured, but wished it was you who just tried to pull a prank on him together with one of his members.

Though his wish wasn't granted, he didn't need a genie to tell him the wish he made was impossible, he knew it as soon as he stood in the middle of the alley, being over five minutes later than planned. It didn't feel like you could be there, this probably was one of the places you wouldn't even go because you knew what went on once innocent people found themselves in the midst of the gangs.

Silent footsteps made Jeno want to turn around, getting tense at the thought of someone being behind him. His fingertips reached behind his jacket, merely touching the grip of the gun but was interrupted by someone roughly pushing him forward against the brick wall.

Jeno's breathing sped up, perhaps a bit of fear jolted through his body and made his hands tremble so much that the light grip he had on his gun turned into non-existent. Out of habit, his head slightly turned to look behind him but as a result, his head was pushed against the wall roughly.

"where is y/n!" Jeno said loudly, his voice breaking the wince he was about to let out after getting his head bumped against the wall. The sound of a gun cocking made Jeno's eyes get darker, and just like he expected, the cold object was placed against the side of his head in order to keep him still. He was focused on that and that only, wanting to hear every little sound so that he could defend himself when things got out of hand.

Once more his head got pushed against the wall, his forehead falling to the side after it came in painful contact with the stone wall. It was like the world stopped spinning for a while, but once it did, he could hear footsteps running further from him.

His hand instinctively went to his forehead, soothing the possible wound in rough rubs before he turned his body around. Relief washed over him for a mere amount of seconds, until the real realization seemed to hit him: he still didn't have you in his arms, nor did he know who actually led him here. While continuing to rub rough circles over his forehead, his body bent over the lying black envelope. Once again the envelope greeted him without name written on top of it.

His bloody hand was quick to open the new piece of evidence or a new clue towards you, shaking the envelope upside down until its contents fell to the ground. A bundle of A4 papers faced him: more specifically a file that looked similar to how Taeyong received files of those they had to delete off of the world.

The handwritten text over the file screamed out his name before the picture did, the message was clear enough without the picture, and Jeno was willing to comply.

"Kill the informant"

ɟun̤ɟ

The sound suppressor attached to the muzzle of Jeno's pistol faded out most of the noise as a bullet was shot through the informant's skull. Blood spattered against the half-open window but left some small evidence upon Jeno's black coat.

He pulled his gun back as soon as he had reached it a few seconds ago, hiding it behind the long coat that was already in possession of a half confession. His eyes went to the man once more and the heap of files that were waiting on the seat next to him, minus the file Taeyong had taken with him when he left the place a few minutes ago.

A new mission for NCT, perhaps the last one now that Jeno had pressed a delete button in front of the informant's eyes. But he didn't care about that fact: he followed the path of the person who had you and didn't care how different that path was from the path he wanted to follow. Any path where you were on, was the path he would walk on too.

He stepped away from the car and left the place delict, no time for cleaning up messes as Taeyong would have made him do, no one would find out it was him. The man had more enemies than clients, and those clients were left in a dark hole while enemies were on a lovely display. His eyes went from left to right to check the surroundings, walking out in the open street once he saw no one else was around.

His hands were kept in his pocket before it was the two little devils that made people suspect him of unclean actions. He unknowingly wiped the bit of blood in the inside of his pockets, making the little hiding place feel uncomfortably moist and his hands perhaps bloodier than they had been before he put them there.

The walk to the hideout was longer than Taeyong's car ride, of course, as Taeyong drove past the speed limit. Wasn't fast driving a privilege of being a gang member too? Probably not but there was no reason he would keep the speed to its original limit at midnight. If he had known Jeno would be behind him, he would have given the younger member a ride, but that was the secrecy in friendship. No one needed to know Jeno was behind the murder of the informant and no one needed to know that Jeno was on the hunt for you.

"Jeno is back from his girlfriend. Did you get laid again, lucky boy?" Ten teased as soon as he saw who walked inside, it wasn't hard to guess as only one member was missing from the hideout, and as usual, that member was Jeno. Jeno dug his hand deeper into his pocket in an attempt to hide the blood on his hands and sleeves, clenching his fist in anger when Ten started his endless teasing.

No one could do it like Ten, sure Haechan was the biggest brat out of them, but there was no one as manipulatively teasing as Ten. The sweet smile he carried on his lips while he was at it made people want to punch him straight into the face, but it's what the boy did best. "I didn't," he said, holding himself back from saying that he hadn't been around you since you'd been kidnapped, but he wisely shut his mouth before the tea boiled over the pot.

"Admit that you did. You're such a pussy" Ten shot back and rolled his eyes, a laugh escaping from his lips as he seemed to see a flustered look in Jeno's eyes. Protective sub-leader Kun gave Ten a shove against the shoulder in order to stop the Thai man from provoking even more "stop it" he whisper-yelled although it was loud enough for Jeno to catch the words from a distance.

Jeno looked away, missing one last smirk that Ten gave him. He was about to go to the room he had for himself in the hideout, luckily he was the one who didn't have to share a room as his roommates would have easily found out what happened behind their backs.

"Meeting time" Taeyong announced right before Jeno was about to walk away from the others. A fake hum left his lips as Jeno turned around again to face his group. "Can I change first, I've been running from y/n's place to here and I'm sweaty" he said, making up the excuse without thinking twice about the unathletically long coat that covered his body, and the fact that there was no droplet of sweat running down his defined facial features.

"An hour. You all get an hour and now stop complaining" Taeyong answered unexpectedly, making Jeno get away with the lies he told and he wasn't planning on waiting another few seconds so that Taeyong could realize the lies. He went to his room at a fast pace, his hands urging to take off the coat before he even entered his room.

The bedroom door closed behind Jeno, shielding him in his own little cocoon for a maximum of sixty minutes. His mind ran overtime while Jeno tried to empty it from all thoughts: his layers of clothes getting taken off like a book revealing all of its secrets.

The blood-covered coat got its original spot back in his closet but with rolled-up sleeves, and the gun back in his drawer where he would always keep a gun out of safety. Despite it being after midnight, the reflection of the mirror picked up how he changed into a pair of black jeans and a white shirt. So formal for no one and nothing.

He picked up his phone from the bed before sitting on the spot where his phone lied before. His fingerprint unlocked his device so that his eyes didn't have to stare at the picture of you and him for too long, he didn't want to be reminded of the fact that he wasn't able to protect you. Even though he didn't want that, he found himself scrolling through heaps of collected messages to and from you.

Text messages that had been keeping souvenirs alive from even before you disappeared: messages that had been kept into his phone for months, messages that he would read whenever he felt down but couldn't reach out to you. Each time he scrolled past a sugary sweet message, he smiled at the memory of even sweeter memories with you.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Jeno brought his hand up to his eyes as soon as the feeling of being awake brought him back to reality. A cold but painful material scraping over his skin as he was in the process of rubbing his eyes, which made him pull away and open his eyes faster than the light allowed him to adjust to the new situation.

He opened the palm of his hand, still a little drowsy from the abrupt awakening, making something fall from his hand and onto his lap.  A silver necklace chain leading the trail to the charm of your necklace and his ring dangling from it as well.

His fingers tightened around the silver, lifting it in the air to examine it. His eyes soon enough fell to the charm that had been yours until you gave it to him as a sign of good luck, he would have smiled at the memory if it weren't for the ring dangling next to it. The same ring he put on your finger just a little over a day ago.

As the band twisted itself around the chain, Jeno's eyes continued following each little movement it created. He could clearly remember the way he slid it onto your finger like he would when he proposed, he could even remember how he said something about a promise.

The tight grip became a clenched fist as realization seemed to spread through his body, eyes never tearing away from the necklace. Looking at it wouldn't give him an answer to the simple question in his mind, but at least he received a hint. The hint that would open a new path towards you: and he was going through every little obstacle to get to you.

His fingertips began to thread around the little chain, consuming it within his first until only the little clasp was left to see. He could feel the charm leaving its print in the palm of his hand due to how hard he was squeezing the material, the pain was nothing compared to anything he had ever felt, but everything was nothing compared to losing you.

"it's one of us," Jeno told himself quietly, knowing very well someone - the culprit - could be listening from outside the door. His footsteps were loud as he approached the door and swung it open rather roughly which made it slam against the plain wall.  The hallway didn't seem as empty as it always had been, perhaps because he knew someone had been in his room the moment he fell asleep.

A hesitant step was made, glancing right, and left to get a better view of the hall. Even though he couldn't see anyone, it was hard to convince himself that no one was here: the others could be in the main space or in their own rooms, perhaps even out of the house. But out or not: it was one of them.

With forty minutes left before the new mission meeting would start, Jeno dashed from his room to the common room, his head wildly spinning from one side to the other to get a glance of those that were in the room. After a brief glance, he had managed to count all twenty people that needed to be there but still, his eyes weren't able to detect the perpetrator.

"Something wrong?" Jaehyun asked, immediately receiving Jeno's eyes on him. Jaehyun looked as confident as usual, especially with the deck of cards in his hands like he was sure that he would win the game already. Around the same table as him sat Taeil, Mark, Hendery, and Doyoung waiting for the cards to be dealt. "You look as if you've been visited by a ghost" Hendery pointed out, laughing at his own words even though they weren't funny. "Grab a drink and join us, we're not playing for money this round" Taeil said after silencing Hendery's loud laughter by just giving him the slightest slap on his thighs.

Without responding, Jeno used his eyes to go over everyone once more before he turned away and went back in the direction of his room. Not one of them looked like they were capable of kidnapping you but at the same time they all looked like suspects in his eyes: the words Hendery said nearly made it sound as if he had been in the room, and Jaehyun's confident glance gave away a little too much pride. Members who hadn't said anything seemed a little too quiet to be innocent.

Jeno reached to his room again and sat back at the same spot where he found himself falling asleep earlier. The piece of jewelry tightly clutched in his hand as his mind was drifting towards you again, the pretty memories overshadowed by the feeling of betrayal. Twenty possibilities but who was the hidden cynosure?

⋅ ⋅ ⋅ (this involves a listing system with flashbacks so don't read if you don't want to)

Taeyong and Ten "It would be better if I was the leader," Ten said to Taeyong, a smirk on his lips as the younger boy provoked even more by sitting on top of the desk. His fingertips lingering over a couple of files that laid around, hoping to get burned before anyone would see them. "I don't think so, you'd kill one of us" Taeyong answered Ten, not caring if the words were straightforward, everyone knew it was the truth. Ten could kill either of them for the leading position, but in reality, all of them would. "At least I wouldn't withhold money as you do, Taeyong"

Taeil "I get the first shot, I'm the oldest" Taeil announced as shots were being poured into the tiny glasses, more than half of it spilling past the mini-glasses but everyone seemed to blind to notice. "So that's one of the benefits of being the oldest?" Xiaojun asked in a rather playful way, though was not prepared to receive the attention of a pair of serious eyes. "If you'd only know my benefits, you'd feel poor."

Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark "Do you think we should mislead him?" Mark asked with a tiny devilish laugh as he looked at Doyoung in the distance. Jaehyun's half-smirk didn't disappoint, showing off his sweet dimples but the smirk was what made it mischievous "I think we should" he said to Mark but looked at Johnny. Johnny twirled the car keys around his finger while he listened, of course, he was willing to mislead Doyoung, anything so that it wasn't him who had to clean up the blood. "Get out. We're leaving."

Yuta "Do whatever you want, I don't want to be a part of this" Yuta said as he raised his hands, instead of surrender it was a sign of how he wasn't going to participate anymore. The body of a man who wasn't meant to be killed hanging over the table as his last breath had been let out minutes ago. Some furiously began to clean up the mess in order not to get caught, but Yuta only watched as everyone worried. He sat on his knees, picking up some fallen money and shoved them into his pocket behind everyone's back.

Kun and Renjun "Tell my parents that I'm dead," Renjun told Kun, his expression staying blank as he said the words. Kun shook his head almost right away, sighing in disappointment. "Why would I do that?" Kun asked, glancing around the room to see if anyone was around, no one seemed to be around but walls still had ears. "They have been calling me non-stop and they don't need to know I like killing people for a living!" Renjun exclaimed, nearly showing his phone to the older member but stopped himself as he didn't want to give too much private information. "You shouldn't like killing people, Renjun" Kun said, trying to keep his voice down as the light footsteps seemed to come closer to them. "You shouldn't either, yet you did it for fun before joining us, right?"

Doyoung, Jaemin, and Haechan How was it that Taeyong's office was opened in the early hours of the morning? Did he leave it behind like that after he drank too much and forgot about the secrets that he was supposed to keep? "Look at the money" Jaemin whispered as he pulled Haechan inside of the office without hesitation, the pink-haired boy saw no problem in going inside to take the money. "Doyoung?" Haechan asked with a smirk as he saw an older member being nosy, or more than that, taking the bills of money out of the desk drawers. "Aren't you supposed to share with us?" Haechan asked, faking more interest while he looked at Jaemin with a slight smirk. Caught in the act. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, nosy kids?"

Winwin The gunshot made everyone in the scene look up, but Winwin didn't seem to catch their eyes, his attention was on the prey and the prey only. The young man that was barely older than him limping in any way that was free to go, but a hunter wouldn't let his prey escape, right? Another gunshot filled the silence of the room, blood splashing right before the man's body hit the dirty ground. "Winwin, stop," someone told him, but Winwin had no intention of stopping himself. He went up to his victim, kicking against his body before the third gunshot left its mark on the man's forehead.

Jungwoo and Jisung "How are we supposed to set this up, Jungwoo!" Jisung screamed worriedly as he looked at the scene in front of him. Used bullets covering the floor but no victim in sight, simply because the victim no longer was a victim after he ran from the scene. "I don't know, just make fake blood and tell Taeyong he's been killed!" Jungwoo said, his voice filled with worry but also disappointment in himself. Jisung was about to speak and tell Jungwoo it was an impossible idea, but before he could even start, Jungwoo had already laid a new idea upon the table "we'll just kill someone else"

Lucas and Yangyang "We could easily disappear now" Yangyang whisper-yelled to the other WayV member, the hideout quieter than ever before as they were the ones who stayed there to lead everything and watch over from their position at home. "And what? Let the others get killed in this mission and have no money. The one who survives will hunt us down" Lucas said back, trying to make Yangyang change his mind. Though the youngster was hard to convince when the genius ideas took up a certain amount of space in his brain. "Don't say you don't want to. You kill everyone and I take the money" Yangyang said, licking his lip as if the thought only made him horny. "How about you kill everyone and I take the money" Lucas answered.

Xiaojun and Chenle "Let's burn down these files," Chenle said as he collected all of the papers that he found, all files of people who had already been robbed from their existence in this life. Xiaojun gave Chenle a look and got up from the chair "hang on, I have something else that needs to get burned" he said as he quickly ran to his room, took the object he wanted erased and returned. A couple of minutes later the two of them stood by the fire, watching evidence burn. "So what did you throw in there? Chenle asked, curiosity taking him over. "Invisible ink, needed it once or twice" Xiaojun answered casually.

Hendery Hendery's gun was aimed at Ten, or more specifically at his head like he was about to end the man's career before it even reached its climax. "Do you wanna die?" he asked, his finger on the trigger which made Ten reach his hands up in surrender. The power that Hendery felt made him spin some degrees to end up at another possible victim "do you wanna die, hm?" he asked Mark, a maniacal laugh slipping past his lips as he was unable to hold himself back. Power was a great thing, was it not?

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

"So in front of you, you will be able to see the new mission," Taeyong said as he motioned to the papers in front of every member, laid out unlike usual which made Jeno glance from bundle to bundle just to see if his was any different from the others.

Before falling out of tone, he held up the bundle of papers just like the others. He pretended to be interested in what he was reading, but his eyes not once read the text that was typed down in black syllables. Another sense of his was working hard on its job, despite the fact that it had to be hidden.

Invisible ink. Or at least the scent of invisible ink imprinted on the last page of the little bundle, probably the last page as it drew less attention than on the first one.

Everything Taeyong said went in one ear and came out of the other one, but this time Jeno was smart enough to sometimes reply with a hum, yes or no. From what he understood: there were no people that stayed at the hideout, no one to clean up the mission as it was too serious to waste time or leave members. A lot of money was promised, but only if the mission went exactly like it had been asked of them.

"When is the mission?" He heard Winwin ask Taeyong, the blonde-haired boy already mentally preparing for the fun he would have. Though at this moment it wasn't Winwin that Jeno suspected, suspect number one carried a different name.

Xiao Dejun

Why was Xiaojun his first suspect? Because he had seen Xiaojun burning the bottle of invisible ink together with Chenle. But Chenle didn't matter in the story as he hadn't been the one saying he used the bottle of invisible ink.

Jeno glanced at Xiaojun from time to time, each time his eyes got darker as he felt his heart beating faster. Luckily Xiaojun was too busy with pretending to listen to their leader, pretending, just like he seemed to pretend to be everyone's friend while he was the devil in disguise.

"Tomorrow," Taeyong said shortly, since it was included in the file and Taeyong wasn't the type to waste his time answering stupid questions. "But leave. I don't want to see any of you in this room, I have things to take care of" he said, urging everyone out by using his strict voice.

Without holding himself back, Jeno stood up from the chair and disappeared from the eyes of the others. The file was tightly gripped between his fingers, not noticing how he was crumpling the paper out of anger. Footsteps and voices followed behind him: he could recognize Lucas speaking Chinese to Hendery but had no idea what they were telling each other.

He quickly opened the door to his room, and as fast as possible slammed it shut once he was inside. It was as if outside his room a war was going on: all suspects but no one who dared to admit their deeds, despite doing it for a living pretty much. His mind traveled further, to the point where he started to imagine all twenty members being against him and coming up with the plan to kidnap you. Though, he still had some trust in a few of them… his dream team belonging to those few.

A couple of minutes later, Jeno found himself in his bedroom, reading the message that had been written over the last page of the bundle. It was faint but Jeno could see it clearer than it actually was. The set of numbers was not just a set or a code to decipher, it was a phone number presented to him. It had the same amount of numbers as a phone number and started with the right combination to belong to the country.

Jeno dropped the papers on the bed and frantically began to look for his phone. The sheets on the bed getting messier with each rough roam his hand did around the limited space. "Fuck" he cursed silently as he remembered, and not a second after, fished his phone out of his back pocket.

The faint number had stopped showing itself but Jeno needed no reminder, his memory was still fresh despite the many thoughts ghosting through his mind. His fingertips pressed each digit carefully, almost making sure that there was no chance to make a mistake in the phone number. Lastly, his finger hit the call button before he tightly pressed the phone against his ear.

"…Jeno"

Your voice made Jeno sit up straight even though in nervousness, he stood up from the bed, ready to come and get you wherever you were at this moment. He nearly forgot that you were kidnapped and unable to randomly leave whenever you wanted, even though, it had never been confirmed someone kidnapped you.

"y/n, it's me, Jeno" he whispered into the phone, using his second hand to shield over the phone. One of his feet kept on turning from left to right as the bundle of nerves in his stomach was slowly getting bigger, it was already a good thing it couldn't explode.

He listened to your breathing while you listened to the sound of his voice and cherished it for the shortest seconds in your lifetime. "Jeno, I'm sorry" you whispered silently into the phone, it seemed like you were close to the phone one second but further away from it the next, so, Jeno could guess that you were shaking and unable to control your voice. "Don't be sorry y/n, you're going to be fine. I'm going to come and get you once I figure out where you are" he said to you, trying to calm his voice so that you would calm down as well.

"You have to do something for me. There's a mission" you said to his surprise, another mission, the sound of that only made him more nervous as there were once again chances that he would fail. No one told him what it meant if they failed, but there was that little ugly spark that told him exactly what would happen if he did. "What is it?" he asked, taking a deep breath to prepare himself.

"You have to…." you started but halted before you said anything more, the words getting stuck at the tip of your tongue. You wanted to say them but you could feel the guilt washing over yourself before you were even able to pronounce the name of the person that would be dead within days. "You have to kill Taeyong."

Jeno swallowed thickly when he heard what mission number two would involve. His ears heard it right as the voice in his mind was able to repeat the words over and over again until the name Taeyong would no longer exist in his mind. "Taeyong?" he asked you softly, keeping his voice as quiet as possible just in case someone was listening from the next room or just out the door. Perhaps Taeyong was the kidnapper and just wanted to see who Jeno would choose for at the end of the story.

You let out a soft noise as a sign he was right when he said Taeyong. Jeno knew you were selfless enough to think that they should kill you instead of Taeyong, but also knew you deserved another chance to live which was why you didn't tell him to choose Taeyong.

"Who did this y/n? You have to tell me everything you know" Jeno asked, he had no idea if his previous guesses were genuine. By now, he had already suspected everyone at least once, but he couldn't put the label on when he couldn't even guess properly who was capable of doing something like that. "D-did you hear me wrong?! I said kill Taeyong, not Taeil, not Jaehyun. Between. Between now and tomorrow" your voice stuttered over each word that passed your lips, clearly, this wasn't your original message.

Jeno was quiet for a little while, to let the words sink in, yet, he couldn't help but hear footsteps on your side of the line. The shaky breaths you let out against the phone, making it clear someone was around you, and that someone was monitoring your words. "Between?" he asked silently, praying the speaker wasn't on so that it was only you who heard him instead of one of the twenty possible options he had in his head. "Exactly," you said back to him, almost letting out a sigh of relief when your hint had been successfully delivered to him.

"Listen to me y/n. I will get you out of there, I will do anything to save you" Jeno said in a softer voice, knowing now that the message had been delivered, there wasn't much time left for you to talk to him. He wanted to continue speaking to you for hours, but he was wise enough to know how time was money, and in this case, time was a bigger chance to lose focus and get caught. "Be safe" you whispered soft, tears were streaming down your cheeks as a gun was placed against the side of your head, it cost you a lot to not scream and get killed that second.

"Always" Jeno whispered back into the phone, hearing how you were crying silently from the way you said the words. He wished he could embrace you and tell you that all was over, or better, that all had been a bad dream. Though he could pinch his skin over and over again, and open his eyes in the same dimension. His mouth opened to speak again, but the abrupt beeping tone made him close it again.

Not Taeil, not Jaehyun.

Between.

Suspect count: six

sɥɔǝs

4:59 am

A sleepless night and yet Jeno found himself being filled to the brim with adrenaline and nerves, more than energetic, he was left restless after what happened some hours ago.

Jeno would lie if he said that his mind had ever stopped producing thoughts in the past hours, the thoughts only doubled themselves until he went over every possible suspect and worked out a fitting theory for them. But outside of the possible suspects, there was also the fact he was going to shoot a bullet through the skull of the person that gave him a new chance in life. Lee Taeyong.

He forgot for a moment between his six suspects, there was also the leader he was so fond of, that exact same person that gave him his life here. If he killed Taeyong, what was going to happen to NCT? What would happen to each one of them? They were nothing without Taeyong, despite WayV leader Kun's presence.

His thoughts momentarily got killed when the office door opened and after a second was slammed shut once again. What followed after were Taeyong's footsteps going through the common room and towards the door that led outside, darkness out the hideout made his plan entirely possible right now.

Jeno was silent enough as he followed behind Taeyong, knowing the older male wouldn't have one single idea that someone was keeping up with the pace of his footsteps. The walk outside began to get darker with each step further from the hideout: darker because of what was going to happen but at the end of the tunnel, there was a light that would lead Jeno to find you again.

The thought of finding you seemed to speed up the pace of his footsteps, or perhaps it was because he saw Taeyong sneaking between a small street that had old buildings on either side. The dark figure of Taeyong was still easy for Jeno to recognize, though easy to recognize didn't make him an easy target. Together with Ten, Taeyong was one of the better people in his profession, followed up by Jisung who had the skills but had too much of a soft heart to eliminate people from the earth.

A tiny grin was hidden on Taeyong's lips, his tongue running past his lower lip as the sudden catch and shoot game revolved around him as the head character. How did he figure out Jeno was behind him? Simple. There had been twenty pairs of shoes at the door whilst no one had left the house, and then again, which loser that wanted to play a game like this left the light in the common room on at that hour of the day?

Taeyong's feet quickened once again, the straight street making it easier for him to get lost in the darkness like he was an almost invisible shadow on the cold ground. Not even two meters away was his little game buddy: nearly like they were sitting next to each other in the PC room, two different views in one single game.

Though Jeno was left one step behind as the narrow street no longer seemed to give him little hints on where Taeyong was, absorbed in the darkness which almost made it seem as if he was alone here if it weren't for the strong presence that Taeyong left behind wherever he went.

Jeno quickly moved further into the little path he knew Taeyong followed, a mix of emotions filling his heart but no space to let it out in this narrow place. His fingertips wrapped around the gun that he had been hiding in his coat pocket, and with one little finger flick, the safety barrier was now turned off. His only worry: where was Taeyong?

"What game are we playing, Jeno?"

Two pairs of footsteps came to halt right at the same moment, a crossover making it seem like two cars wanting to go over the intersection at the same time, and neither of them were playing it fair.

Jeno thickly tried to swallow away the bundle of nerves he had, his hands gripping tighter in the pocket of his coat, his index finger on the trigger as still, he was prepared to play the game until he made it to the finish.

"I don't think we're playing here," Jeno said as he slapped away Taeyong's hand that was dangerously close to his shoulder. Though his hand retrieved as soon as a sharp object came in contact with the tender skin, the cold metal only meant one thing: a knife.

Jeno slowly turned his head to the right to see Taeyong standing there, the knife in his hand paying a little bit too much attention to the exposed bit of skin on his collarbone. "That was still tolerable for a first hit, right?" Taeyong asked, the grin on his face never disappearing. Jeno had to keep in a wince: feeling the blood seep from his hand onto the ground, the contrast of the warm blood running over his cold fingers only made his head spin more.  "I don't think you know what tolerable is, how would you know? You kill people for a living" pushed past his lips, mentally hitting himself in the face to keep him from getting distraught by the thought of you or the wound on his hand.

"And you do? If I'm correct you're the one who came with a plan to kill y/n's ex and never told her about that dirty little secret. I bet guilt never tasted as sweet as when the bullet hit his non-existent heart" Taeyong pointed out, his tongue running over his teeth as he was trying to make his words more intense. Now that Taeyong said the words, Jeno felt the bittersweet lies on the tip of his tongue. The only gunshots that were memorable to him, combined with the facial expressions of your ex as soon as he knew his end was near, the way he didn't smile in the end which only brought more peace to Jeno's mind at that time. "I didn't kill him for the laughs, I did it for y/n" he protested before Taeyong could continue to dig into the past, a past where there were more truths than lies, at least that was when Taeyong did the digging. "Ah, I get it. You did it for the money so that you could buy y/n the necklace, paid by the money of her ex… You're right, that's real love"

Jeno's hand moved as he tightly gripped the gun and pulled it from his pocket. "I'm sorry Taeyong, I'm going to eliminate you," he said, his words faster than his actions as his finger managed to quiver over the trigger whilst he brought the gun up towards his leader. A loud laugh left Taeyong's lips, the heel of the knife hitting against the gun as a sign there was no way the gun was going to get unloaded by the end of the little game. "Why is that? Out of all twenty possibilities, you choose me?" he asked a little more seriously than before.

The tip of the knife pushed against Jeno's exposed collarbone, drilling into the skin before the younger male had a chance to stop his leader. "Say it" Taeyong spat out, his eyes getting wider as he saw a wound under the tip of the knife. The cold caress wasn't going to end anytime soon if Jeno kept his lips pursed like that. "I'm going this for y/n," Jeno said, his lips no longer pursed which made a wince leave his lips before he could stop himself. Why did this hurt more than getting shot by the enemy?

"True, I nearly forgot, that makes it tolerable"

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Unknown [ 9 : 42 pm ] : failed

Jeno's eyes were greeted with the six lettered word on his iPhone display, after exactly fifteen seconds the word said goodbye and faded out on the screen. The tight grip on his phone seemed to fade along with the brightness until the little device made a soft landing on his lap.

He ran his fingertips through his black hair, all possible scenarios colliding in his mind, but there was no conclusion to take at the end of the day.

After the early encounter with Taeyong, his suspect count had gone down to five. There was no way Taeyong could be a suspect: who would ask to get killed by a younger person, especially the leader of the gang. It was like he scribbled over Taeyong's name in his mind and didn't bother looking at the scribbles once more.

Without realizing, his fingertips went up to his neck, ignoring the plaster-covered wound on his collarbone as he delicately touched the necklace around his neck.

His fingertips caressed over the little charm dangling from the silver chain, feeling the initials of your name but also his own name at the back of it. Love gifted to you with money from your ex-boyfriend, he no longer could deny Taeyong was wrong when he said those words earlier.

Next to the chain was the ring he had given you with a promise, his own ring as it didn't feel like you. It felt like his ring, that he simply gave to you together with a promise he couldn't keep. His finger slid between the silver but pulled back before it could steadily test around his finger.

Unknown [ 10 : 08 pm ] : immediately

The phone lit up again as soon as the same number sent another text to Jeno's number. This time Jeno didn't hold the phone in his hand while reading it, from his lap, he had an excellent view over the text even though he didn't want to see it.

Before the standard fifteen seconds were over, his phone's brightness decided to stay together with a new message addressed towards him. This time more than one word, more than just stupid pieces that didn't bring him closer to you.

An address.

Jeno glanced at the time on his phone and let out a sigh as he realized this was the moment he had to choose: D-day which basically was a mission where a lot of money was involved together with the entire team, or saving you from the hands of one of those teammates. How was he even meeting up with one of them when not even in an hour, they had to be at a completely different location for the endgame.

He stood up from the bed and immediately started to collect a heap of objects he could possibly use in this momentum. A gun without silencer as he was done with little games, his phone just in case he would receive more hints than just the address, and of course his usual coat that would somehow have to replace a bulletproof vest.

Cynosure

His footsteps were loud as he ran from his room into the common room, barely put on his combat boots, and with a loud slam left the hideout.

He didn't even notice how his team members had been staring at him as if he was a fool, but no one was willing to help a fool. Though rather than not willing, it was the case of not being able to as Jeno hadn't shared the context with anyone.

The person who knew the most was walking amongst them, and surely that person wasn't lenient enough to help him.

"Where is he going?" Jungwoo asked as he sipped from his late-night coffee, knowing there was not one chance to yawn during the upcoming hours. The sweet taste of sugar in coffee made him blind to the bitter situation his younger member found himself in. A dart was thrown between Jungwoo and Doyoung who was about to reply, hitting the board with a light thud. "Going to y/n, get some dick before we get our victory," Haechan said as a giggle pushed past his lips, eyes never breaking contact with the dart that found itself pinned right in the middle of the board.

"he knows the rule: if he doesn't participate. More money for the rest"

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

The soles of Jeno's shoes seemed to get worn out a lot faster than usual, these days he seemed to live in the black pair of combat boots. But today they felt exceptionally worn out compared to yesterday.

The combat boots helped him to run through narrow streets. Streets he had never seen even though he found his way through them with ease. Both left and right seemed to end up in the same streets if it weren't for the little name tags and numbers upon the brick walls of the building.

His footsteps faded out as he tried to pause his running. His breathing deep even though he wasn't out of breath or tired from running. His eyelids covered his brown eyes as he tried to recall the address in his mind, even though he was sure he knew, he wasn't confident in trusting himself.

Silently and without a word, he repeated the address inwardly. Once. Twice. And when he lost count because he was so focused, he knew he could continue with his mission.

He picked up his pace again, needing only a couple of seconds before he was at his maximum speed once again. His eyes wildly drifting to everything suspicious around him: every little letter on white tags and every number next to a door. Wasting time was something he didn't do when the first few letters didn't match with the address in his head, he no longer would spend time on it.

It was like he was running through a maze where every little path ended up somewhere in the middle of nowhere. His feet were finally starting to get tired and painful from the neverending fight against time and a stranger that actually was his teammate.

Jeno ran past another little path, scanning the surroundings rather than the tag that was right in front of his eyes. As soon as he wanted to look in front of him again to continue, his eyes met the name from up close. Two steps passed the little street, his feet came to an abrupt halt.

This was it.

The tip of his shoe was dragged against the ground whilst taking a step back towards the little street to his left. The big two steps from seconds ago, became small and slow steps to make himself more camouflaged in the darkness.

He turned his body to the street before he was able to take his first step towards the new path. The repetitive setting staring at him as he felt like the main character, especially when his eyes didn't meet with any of the suspects.

"I'm here, what do you want from me!?" Jeno shouted loudly as his first step forward happened right in the middle of his sentence. His eyes didn't see anyone around, yet, he had yelled out to anyone willing to hear him.

This time it wasn't him getting stared at, his eyes moving clockwise around his surroundings. The houses that seemed to be evenly abandoned like the others, the shards of glass lying on the ground between the cobblestones, the bags of trash collected against one home which made the smell less than pleasant.

Why was he alone?

After hesitating due to his thoughts for half a minute, he started the path further into the street. The stench of the bags of filth filling his nostrils more and more with each step that he took.

It was like the odor took over more than half of the thoughts in his mind. The thoughts he had disappearing rather than being replaced by other thoughts.

Your fragrance.

Jeno swallowed away the fictitious thoughts until the odor solemnly remained.

His nose attempted to identify the strange mix of scents unknowingly. His footsteps following the progress by taking tiny steps towards the place where the scent was only getting stronger.

A molecule of your fragrance contested with the unfamiliar but unpleasant odor as he got closer to the bags of trash. The stench seemed to lose its battle as Jeno limited himself to the molecule of you around him.

Other senses helped him to find more particles of you: his hands spread in order to feel something in case you were close, his ears ready to focus on the sound of your voice, his eyes moving from spot to spot.

You were the cynosure.

His vision stopped at a low point that seemed to catch his eye due to the little details that didn't match with similar positions. Between the different colored trash bags, he could see a white piece of fabric sticking out slightly.

Kneeling down, Jeno started to investigate the piece of fabric from up close. Luckily the ground managed to keep him steady upon seeing the little droplet splattered on the white fabric.

The droplet of blood on the Virgin-white piece of clothing.

As used as Jeno was to blood and gore, he found himself staring at the wet patch for a couple of seconds. Fragments of time seemed to travel through his mind, taking him to one specific moment.

The time the two of you woke up together, his blood resting between both of you after he got wounded during one of his tasks.

This time, the blood wasn't his.

His fingertips no longer delicately wanted to touch the piece of evidence. Instead, his hands started to roughly move the trash bags out of the way.

His fingers were hurting from the dirt they pushed aside but it didn't stop him from moving the last few to the middle of the street. For some reason, his eyes hadn't seen the slow reveal that happened with the removal of each bag, perhaps because he feared what hid underneath them.

On the other hand, his eyes had no choice but to watch the result unveiled. A lump of air got trapped in his throat when the sight wasn't what he predicted.

Around him, the world continued to spin and he felt dizzy living in that frame of time. Together with the rest of his body, his skin felt numb to the salty tear that fell from his eyes and onto his cheek.

"y/n" Jeno whispered as his hands roughly grabbed your white-clothed shoulders, shaking them which only gave him a fabricated response.

Seconds silently ticked by as Jeno waited, or hoped for a short response to push itself past your lips. His hands remained upon your shoulders as he waited, the grip tightening with each second that ticked by. "y/n c'mon" he nearly begged, the last bit of hope soon making space for grief.

A loud wail left Jeno's lips as you had no response to give. Your lips parted but not one word escaped from them, yet, Jeno continued to stare at them as if you would move them to speak any second.

"I'm so sorry" Jeno whispered through the sobs that left his lips, making the words incomprehensible as they had to make space for his emotions. His hands were no longer tightly attached to your lifeless body, instead, he found his fingertips trembling inches away from your face. Too scared to caress the face he had kissed hundreds of times.

His head hung low, allowing the tears to fall onto the dry ground. A cough left his lips once he managed to catch a glimpse of the large red spot that coated the upper half of your heavenly-white outfit, under the lace he could see how the elegant prints had been colored in by your blood. Despite dry heaving, he held the coughs quiet, giving his cries the full freedom.

Your fingertips that seemingly were holding onto something non-existent were resting in the middle of your lap, placed like an old doll. Jeno took your hand in his, ignoring the liquid that was no dripping between the connection you two had. He brought your hand up to his face, making it rest against his warm cheek as he continued to free his emotions from their cage.

"y/n" Jeno whispered quietly, your fingertip brushing against his upper lip as he quietly moved your fingertips to place them where he would want to feel your love. The way your thumb would move over his upper lip and slowly run over his cupid's bow in the process. His lip pouted merely, pressing a little piece of affection upon your cold skin. "Sorry for not being able to keep the promise" he whispered to you, swallowing as he felt the silver chain of the necklace nearly burning through the pockets of his pants.

He pulled out the little piece of jewelry, staring at it with hatred in his eyes. How could a stupid piece of jewelry ruin his beautiful moment with you? His view changed as he remembered the ring was his promise to you, held in his hand as it gave him a chance to make a new and lasting promise.

"always" Jeno whispered, remembering quite a few times where he had used the word to indicate that he would be safe, and each of those times always took the second meaning that he would come back to you. He detached the ring from the necklace, holding it between his thumb and index finger. Delicately, he slid the ring back onto your finger, sealing the promise with the gesture.

Tears fell from his eyes, cleaning away bits of your blood away from his cheek. Blood could be washed away, but pain couldn't. Around the heart filled with love, a layer of pain had coated itself.

Always.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Unknown [ 10 : 58 pm ]  : game over?

Jeno furiously wiped under his swollen eyes as the brightness made him incompetent to read the message that had been sent to him. Though rather than retrieving his eyesight, he got rid of dried-up tears upon his skin.

His eyes read over the two simple words that formed an unneeded question together. In his eyes, it was obvious that the little game had been played, and he was chosen as a first place in being a loser. His game had cost him more than his life was worth, and no matter what price he paid, there was no second chance in which he could prove he deserved to win.

That's when real life and memories started to collide again in his head, not like they did before by ruining him even more, but by realistically telling him there was a mission to finish. D-day was what they called it, and now he realized why it was named that beforehand.

His exhausted pair of feet continued a further unknown trail once more. Silently, he called himself crazy for doing this after what happened, but it felt like a dedication to you... Even though the knife of hope, had already gone through his heart to tell him off.

A couple of minutes after his watch had announced eleven hours passed noon and one hour before midnight, he found himself in the unknown place. The oversized garage door merely opened, but he still managed to crawl underneath it until it left a little tear in his jeans.

It was still around him, no voices that would usually shout at one another for the next stage to finally start. Jeno looked around, trying to be noiseless as he walked further into the seemingly empty storehouse. It was Yuta's long hair that managed to catch his eyes first, but once he looked past that, he noticed the circle his members were positioned in.

Jeno took an unexpected step towards his members, causing someone to uncover himself from behind the large columns. The stranger wearing a combat helmet together with a completely matched black outfit underneath, yet, the black lettering on the uniform gave away that they were faced with authorities.

Within seconds, a dart was tossed towards the police. Jeno was quick to move due to his reflexes but noticed the person that was meant to get hit, wasn't so lucky. The first gesture set the rest into action as more police members revealed themselves from hidden positions, making eyes of the NCT gang widen at the unannounced reveal of the authority.

Gunshot

Jeno's eyes were quick to follow even if he wasn't able to see the bullet until it had been planted in the enemy's shoulder, yet, he turned back to Chenle and smirked at him as praise. His own gun safely stored the pockets of his outer layer of clothing, his hand already on the trigger for the moment he had to pull it out.

Bullets seemed to fly around everyone, lacing them in a spiderweb that they could hardly escape as every bullet was aimed towards one of them. Though, bullets didn't plant themselves in his skin when he moved around just like everyone else did.

"Taeil!" Jungwoo's voice echoed through the hall as his soft voice was suddenly louder than ever before. The tall boy dragged his older friend towards the nearest wall but was instantly killed by a bullet going through his vital organs. His body falling right over Taeil's as the two first victims were eliminated by the enemy.

Jeno barely heard what was happening over the noises around him, he had heard Jungwoo's cry for Taeil but his eyes hadn't picked up how his clan now existed of fewer people than before. He pulled Jaemin aside roughly, shooting at an officer who immediately landed on the ground seconds after the shot was fired.

Right in the middle of the place, between large columns and higher placed people, Jisung found himself crouching over his best friend Chenle. Tears pooling in his eyes, but before they fell, it was his body that hit the ground.

"Shit, Jisung is down." Jeno heard in the background as he looked towards Renjun who was torn between his two youngest friends or continuing to fight for whatever was left. He was about to move to the center to get to the two boys, but it was Lucas who took over the job. Unfortunately for the team, temporary informant Renjun had lost the battle when his eyes had lost focus of what the mission really was.

Jeno rested his back against the column, his eyes taking a little too long to figure out who was going to be his next target. The role of one of his possible targets had been swapped around, as one second later, a gun was aimed at him. His hands reached up in the air, shakily trying to keep himself steady against the column. "Sorry" he mumbled but his voice easily disappeared between the bullets and shouts of other members. His fingers already went up to his shirt before the bullet was planted on the left side of his body, immediately coating his black clothes with a layer of blood.

A cough left his lips, immediately triggering his gag reflex as a spoonful of blood dangled down his parted lips. He slumped down against the column despite his fingertips trying to scratch the material in order to keep him standing. His head was pounding, between all of the sounds around him, he faintly managed to hear you telling him to be safe.

Always.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

Monochrome

One shade of black, one tint of white, ten different palettes filled with grey. That was what Jeno's eyes detected when they opened for what seemed like the first time in months. He could only state in front of him, the surroundings not revealing themselves as their dull colors refused to show him what was going on.

An unexpected grunt slipped past his lips when he tried to set his body straight against the cold support in his back. That's when the pain had announced itself and he finally became more aware of the things around him. His hands were coated in blood, as red as love was supposed to represent.

Red was the first real color his eyes saw at that moment, turning the pallette of grey into a never-ending set of colors samples when he looked up from his hand and to the open space around him. His lips held a silent sound of surprise back when the colorized truth came to life.

Exactly nineteen of his teammates on the floor, recognizable by their hair colors, facial features, or body types. A few other bodies scattered around, people who didn't know but were hidden behind protective helmets in order to keep their identity safe. He could see Taeyong lying on the floor, facing him and his eyes were still opened like he was staring into the soul of his younger member.

Jeno licked over his lower lip, unexpectedly drawing in the taste of blood with his actions. His mouth already had an odd taste but knowing the red liquid was covering his tastebuds made him spit it out. The remains ending up right at the corner of his lips, not further than where it had been seconds ago.

"Thought your heart would have been crushed by now," A voice said which made Jeno look up, his eyes weakly scanning the person in front of him even if he could recognize the voice without seeing him. He swallowed thickly, struggling as the metallic taste of blood was pulled further into his body. His lips slowly parted again, some dried blood hidden within the cracks of his lips. Words were mouthed, not spoken as not one sound broke through the momentum.

Instead of speaking, Jeno weakly presented his gun, holding it up a few centimeters as he was too weak to hold it higher. The meaning behind the gesture was unclear, even for himself: did he give himself over to the game, did he want to live in peace and willingly lost because of it?

The older man kneeled in front of him slowly when he saw the gesture Jeno made, seeing it as an offer even though it was a perfect opportunity. Because as the unspoken rule said, who participated got more than the others: and he was the only participant left.

Beneath the black unbuttoned shirt, Jeno could see the bulletproof vest upon his skin. A simple trick that twenty other people had forgotten about despite it being something classic in the world that they lived in.

"any last words?" He asked Jeno, turning the gun around in his hand so that it was aiming at Jeno. Whilst he waited for Jeno to answer the question, his hand helped the gun to find the right angle. Jeno didn't even notice how his hand was lifted up and wrapped around the gun, his index finger resting upon the trigger.

Be safe

"Always" Jeno silently said as his tired eyes stared at the man who once was his friend. Jeno felt a finger over resting over his, immediately feeling the tension if the trigger getting more intense. But gave himself over to the feeling before it even came.

Images of you flashed through Jeno's mind as he tried to find relief in his future, a future he didn't have unless it was with you somewhere in a dream in a dream. Unknowingly his eyes went over the number and name engraved on the gun, yet, in his mind, he read the numbers of your anniversary and your name right next to it.

Gunshot

The cynosure of no eyes was left standing alone between dead bodies, the gun dropping on the ground as he stood up and gracefully walked away from the game he finished playing. Gameover.

960201, Kim Doyoung

Author’s note: 

Helloah, you have reached the end of cynosure! I hope you liked the fic despite the perhaps sad ending (I didn’t cry). I decided to write this in celebration of 5K followers: thank you for 5k, it seriously means a lot to me to know that people like my writing and look forward to reading it!

Anyway. I hope you liked cynosure and if you have any feedback/questions about the fic, I’ll gladly respond  <3

[lupinsx]

Conditions Attached

masterlist

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Gryffindor!Reader

Summary: After you get tired of Fred targeting you in all of his pranks, he offers a bet to possibly put an end to it. Alas, all deals come with conditions attached.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Just a kiss, nothing too graphic.

a/n — I hope you guys like this! I decided to stray away from Draco one shots for a bit because I really like this idea. Let me know what you think of it!

——————————

"Fred! George!"

The tranquility of the early morning was suddenly disturbed with your roaring yell. With bright pink hair laid wet against your neck and a thick bathrobe covering your skin, you stood with your arms crossed angrily at the stairs leading to the girls dormitory.

There was no movement upon your call. No pair of twins rushing to apologize or promise to fix what they had done. But yet again, you knew it would be a fool's game to try and get them to listen.

Storming down the stairs, you entered the common room without sparing another second. It didn't take long for you to notice the pair of orange heads sticking out among the group of sixth years. With a determined expression capable of intimidating a Dementor, you pulled them back by their collars, forcing them to face you.

"Now, which one of you thought it would be wise to put a pink hair potion in my shampoo," you spoke with gritted teeth, gesturing to your head. A couple of students tuned in their attention after seeing the commotion, so you weren't surprised to see a slight crowd forming.

There was a series of incomprehensible looks and murmurs Fred and George made to each other before they looked back at you with an amused grin. George then took the liberty to respond, not before receiving death glares by his twin brother.

"Why it's all Freddy over here- ow!" he paused to rub his elbow after the jab given by Fred. "He was the one who wanted to do it. Don't blame me!"

You turned your gaze to Fred upon his exposure, glaring at him with all your might while he met your stare with a lazy expression. You were furious — the potion slipped in your bottle was strong enough to withstand all of the spells you gave, so the prospect of living with pink hair seemed unfortunately too likely. But what exasperated you the most was the frequency of these pranks. It was only Wednesday, but this was already the fourth time you had to confront them for their misfit behaviour.

"Well, what do you have to say this time?" you hissed, watching his expression morph from unaffected to highly amused.

"That you took 'On Wednesdays we wear pink' a little too seriously."

You groaned as you tugged on your roots in frustration. Seeing as he is no longer needed, George walked off with loud laugh. Fred stood with his back leaned against the pillar and hands shoved deep into his pockets — a position you hate to regard as being unfairly attractive.

"Blimey, I'm just kidding Y/N. It'll fade away within a week, don't get your pretty face all twisted," he added with a wink, a side grin spreading across his mouth. "Anyways, I have a very simple way this could all end. A proposition, if you will."

You suddenly released your hair from your grip, and looked at him with curious eyes. You didn't know whether to trust him on this, but you figured you'd at least listen to what he had to say. The pranks and anticipation for the next one was beginning to feel exhausting. You craved your freedom back.

With a slight nod indicating for him to speak, Fred pushed himself off the wall and took a step in your direction. "I have a Quidditch game against Slytherin this Saturday. If they win; I'll leave you alone. No more pranks from me or my brother."

Your eyes perked up at his words. Already, you were seriously considering accepting. However, you knew bets have conditions attached, so you stopped to listen to the rest.

"But," he continued with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "if we win, you go to Hogsmede with me on Sunday. Deal?"

You were hesitant to accept his outstretched hand. On one hand, both options seemed favourable, as Fred has always been the one to catch your attention. However, the ambiguity of the second possibility left you worried. Who says the pranks will stop after your date?

Before you could dwell on the decision any further, you acted on the very recklessness that got you sorted into Gryffindor in the first place. You shook his hand with a confident smirk on your face. Merlin, please let Slytherin win just this once.

"Deal."

~~~

By the time Saturday came, your hair resembled a deep violet as the pink began to fade into black. You had a hard time covering your hair throughout the week, as the cloak's hood only did justice outside of class. Many cheap insults were given whenever the teacher would walk away.

You sat in the Great Hall, mindlessly playing with your scrambled eggs while the rest of the Gryffindor table failed to contain their excitement. Loud chatter engulfed the area, and hardly anybody was sitting down properly.

"Ready to cheer us on today, Y/N?" Ron came out of nowhere, patting your shoulders roughly while taking the space beside you. He grabbed your toast and took a generous bite from it, making you swat his hand away.

You gulped tentatively at his question. You decided not to cheer for anyone today, but to silently hope for Slytherin to win. Of course, you didn't want to disappoint your housemates by arriving in green paraphernalia holding a Marcus Flint poster, but the last thing you'd want to do is boost Fred's ego by cheering for his team.

So, you merely gave a weak nod to assure Ron for the meantime.

"That's our girl!" he rejoiced, giving another one of his aggressive shoulder pats. At the noise, Fred turned his attention towards his brother, and grinned upon noticing you.

Fred got up from his spot and moved down the table, landing on the seat in front of you. Leaning in, he spoke in teasing manner, not bothering to lower his voice for the people around them.

"Are you ready for our date tomorrow?"

The area grew silent for a moment. All of the surrounding Gryffindors paused their conversations and stared at the two with disbelief. Your cheeks became crimson in an instant. The sheer nerve of his was going to be the death of you.

After getting over the initial shock, your eyes narrowed at the cocky boy. "Who says you'll win today?"

"Wait, you? And Fred? Dating? Merlin- when were you planning to tell me?" Ron squeaked, his wide eyes darting between you two. The commotion attracted Harry, Hermione, and the rest of the Weasleys to the scene, while the remaining Gryffindors merely stood back with shock.

"We aren't dating! I swear, he's just being a cocky little git, that's all," you piped up in reassurance. Still, you received questioning eyes from your peers. You suddenly felt the urge to crawl into a hole.

Ignoring the stares he's receiving, Fred's mischievous grin grew at the corner. "Not dating yet, but we will be soon."

This comment caused an uproar. There was a chorus of questions and encouragement targeted towards you two while you glared at Fred's openness. He merely shrugged in response, answering vaguely to whoever asked.

"Y/N, is this true? You're going on a date with Fred?" Hermione asked impatiently, accompanied by a curious Harry and Ginny. You groaned and buried your head into your elbows in a pathetic attempt to shield your blushing.

"It's only if he wins the bet," you murmured inside your arms. "If Gryffindor wins today, I have to go to Hogsmede with him tomorrow."

Ginny squealed at the adorableness the situation is. She, alongside the others, have always been subtly shipping you and Fred. She found the banter between you two endearing, or as she likes to refer to it, 'just like an old married couple.'

"Well then, I'll make sure to play my best today," Harry said with a teasing grin, earning a playful shove from you.

At this point, people were beginning to finish their breakfasts and clear out of the hall. While the Gryffindors gave one last encouragement to the players, you managed to slip out unnoticed, headed towards the common room to do some last minute revision before the game.

You took your time travelling down the deserted corridor. It was quiet, unlike the populated Great Hall and rowdy classrooms you usually find yourself in. You enjoyed being able to hear your own thoughts without disturbance, so you chose to savour the moment of tranquility you had right now.

But unfortunately, life doesn't always offer what you desire.

"What, escaping already L/N?"

Fred stood at the end of the hallway, his loud voice nearly causing you whiplash. He wore his signature lopsided grin as he approached your still figure.

"Please, I'm only leaving for a little bit. Miss me already?" you mocked, diverting your eyes from the smile he held which you knew was undeniably attractive. The close proximity between you two didn't help with resisting the temptation to jump him on the spot, but you somehow managed to stay on your two feet.

"Why yes, quite actually," he said nonchalantly, catching you off guard. At that moment, he took a couple steps closer to your direction, making you walk a bit back. It was a relief that it was a lengthy hall and there wasn't a wall directly behind to stop you, but that wasn't an issue for Fred. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him, leaving your faces merely inches apart.

You stood frozen where he held you, shocked at his abrupt gesture. His eyes scanned your face, taking in your widened eyes, parted lips, and deeply flushed cheeks. He almost smirked at the sight, before leaning in slightly closer to speak.

"I'm only kidding. I came back for something in the common room."

And with that, he retreated his arms back to his side and walked off, leaving you as a flustered mess. He is truly going to be the death of you.

~~~

Once noon rolled in and the sun shined bright above Hogwarts, most of the school found themselves on the Quidditch field stands to watch the game. Gryffindor vs Slytherin is always a popular match to attend, given the high tension between the houses and the immense skill they both possess. Everyone had either red or green clothing to show support, with a couple exceptions of neutral Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs. You, however, remained the only Gryffindor in the section wearing normal clothes.

Eventually, the teams flew in for a lap around the field as their supporters cheered in encouragement. As the Gryffindor team flew by the sidelines, earning a roar from the crowd, you happened to notice the wink Fred gave you before he passed. A blush appeared on your cheeks as you shook your head at his flirtatiousness.

Now, let the games begin.

The beginning of the match couldn't keep your attention. To be fair, no Quidditch games ever did, but the closeness of the scores left you with very little satisfaction. You wanted the snitch to be caught and over with, and for your fate to be sealed immediately.

Come on, Harry, find the snitch!

Wait, no, I should be hoping for Malfoy to find it. What am I thinking?

You shook the thought out of your head and decided to occupy yourself with the match before you'd begin considering which side you're on. You knew that part of yourself wanted Gryffindor to win so you go out with Fred tomorrow, but you chose to ignore that, claiming the lack of food is getting to your brain.

You wanted Slytherin to win. Right?

"Another goal for Slytherin! I guess, if we're ignoring that disgustingly obvious cheat- ow! I'm sorry professor. The score is 50-80," Lee Jordan commentated with a brief interruption from Professor McGonagall.

They're winning. This is good, right?

Yes, you thought to yourself firmly. You wouldn't let yourself sway your opinion. A date is not as important as immunity to their pranks, you would convince yourself.

Suddenly, the whole crowd became silent, before erupting into louder cheers. The snitch has finally appeared. Harry seemed to notice it first and make the sharp dive immediately, while Draco happened to notice his figure and catch up shortly afterwards.

This is it. The moment that will decide whether you go to Hogsmede tomorrow with Fred, or can finally live comfortably and without fear in the Gryffindor dormitory. And you didn't know which one you wanted more.

Draco and Harry flew neck to neck as they chased after the snitch. It seemed just a little over an arm's length away, which was convenient for Draco's long wingspan. His fingers reached only slightly further, granting him an advantage over Harry which, given the high stakes, meant all the world to you.

Slytherin was just about to win this.

Suddenly, George passed the bludger to Fred, and he whacked the hard ball straight towards Draco's head. It was fortunate that he noticed on time and was able to duck, but this meant that his flight was briefly stopped, leaving him just behind the Gryffindor seeker for a moment.

Harry had caught the snitch.

Your jaw dropped, lips slightly parted in shock as the cheers in your section became deafening. Gryffindor won. Which meant that you had a date with Fred, and your immunity was no longer solidified. And oddly enough, you weren't entirely mad.

As the team all flew to where Harry was to celebrate, you noticed Fred fly away from them and towards the stands. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you watched him lay his broom on the railing and stride up the emptying seats.

Before you knew it, Fred approached you, making you stand on your feet. Then, he kissed you, holding your waist close to him and tilting his head to meet your lips.

It didn't take long before you began kissing him back. You were unaware of why, but you knew you wanted this just as much as he did. You loved the feeling of his lips on your own, how his fingers danced along your waistline and electrified your entire body, how soft his hair felt in your fingertips, and how perfectly you two seemed to fit into each other's bodies. The sounds of gasps and whistles surrounding you felt muted, like it was only you and Fred existing at the moment.

It was only you and Fred existing at the moment.

Eventually, Fred slowly detached from the kiss, planting another small peck on your lips before fully pulling away. He had a lopsided smile in his face, while you had an idiotic grin to match. It was then when a cough next to you pulled you two back to reality.

Upon seeing the crowd surrounding the area, you two immediately detached your arms from its hold on the other and separated in embarrassment. He gave a small chuckle at the situation while you looked down with cherry cheeks and eyes squeezed shut. They, including the Gryffindor team observing from the railing, had watched the entire kiss.

Please kill me now.

Fred cleared his throat awkwardly and turned towards you. "So, tomorrow at 11?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you at the Great Hall."

"It's a date," he murmured before running down the stands to grab his broom. Without realizing it, your fingers hovered over your lips, and the playback of the kiss viewing in your head brought a dreamlike expression onto your face.

You couldn't wait for Sunday to come.

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a/n — That took a while to make. Please like, reblog, comment, or send something in my inbox to let me know what you think of this one shot! Thanks for reading.

[claudiasjeancregg]

38, CJ/Toby if you feel like it :)

38. “You fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” CJ Cregg/Toby Ziegler (1.6k words)

“You fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

CJ rolled her eyes at him, taking the water from his outstretched hand. 

“I did not faint,” she reminded him. “I fell asleep. And if I wanted your attention, I’d have it.” 

Toby quirked an eyebrow at her teasing, trying to maintain the playful tone in the room. But he couldn’t hide his expression- it was painfully obvious how he felt. He was worried about her. She hadn’t slept in days, and as much as she tried to hide it, it was obvious to see she wasn’t doing well. He watched her sip the water, pretending not to notice her hand shaking. 

“You need to sleep, CJ.” 

His voice was soft but firm- taking care of herself was the one thing she couldn’t push to the bottom of her priority list. Not under his watch. 

“I’m fine!” she insisted. She set her glass down with a thump, needing her hands to make her point. 

“I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.” 

“But you don't,” he pointed out. 

She picked up her things with a deep sigh, and started towards the door of his apartment. She hated when he treated her like this, like some inept little girl who needed help. She was fine. She was the Chief of Staff to the President, damn it. She had to be fine. 

“What, am I wrong?” he called after her. 

She paused, not turning around. 

“You fell asleep standing up! Then, you fell straight into me. What if you had been in the Sit Room, or a meeting, or-” 

“Jesus, Toby, I get it. I get that I’m not handling this job well, that I can’t do it all like you or Josh. But guess what? I’m still the Chief of Staff, whether you like it or not. It’s not your job to take care of me.” 

Toby’s eyes were wide and incomprehensive. How had this turned into an argument so quickly? How had she so clearly misunderstood the meaning of what he was saying? How could she believe that he thought those things? 

He watched CJ recover from her outburst. All the pent up frustration and all of the exhaustion had burst out of her at once, and he knew she needed a minute. Still, all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and hold her until she fell asleep. But he knew that wasn’t what she needed- well, not right now. For now, she needed reassurance, though she would never admit it. She needed his support, something he had been embarrassingly bad at giving her recently. 

“Well, someone needs to.”

 She laughed bitterly- “Oh, so I’m a chore.” 

“You’re not-” 

Toby sighed. There was no reasoning with her when she was like this, especially not about something this sensitive. But he had to try, right? 

“I’m not saying you’re not handling the job well. That’s the exact opposite of what I’m saying, and you know that.” 

She opened her mouth to say something, but he kept going. 

“You’re working too hard, CJ. You’re doing a- a phenomenal job as Chief Of Staff, but that’s all you should be doing! You shouldn’t be dealing with the press, and going down to the Hill, or negotiating. What you have to do is a million times harder than what Leo had to do, and you’re doing it. But you need to delegate, okay? Hire some people, promote some people, I don't know. And, uh-” 

His voice was softer now, and surprisingly gentle. 

“If you need help, you should ask.” 

CJ rubbed her neck, which he knew meant she was stressed. And sore, he bet- he had seen her sleep on her couch too many times in the past week. 

He kept going, needing her to understand what he was saying. 

“It’s not my job to take care of you. But I do it because I-” he swallowed, looking at the floor. 

“Because Leo had a heart attack, and Josh got shot, and Donna got blown up, and the President has MS.” 

He wasn’t sure how to say it in a way that made sense. All he knew was that everyone had left, everyone had gotten hurt- except them. She couldn’t leave him too. He wouldn’t let her. 

When Toby looked back up, CJ was staring at him. 

“Leo had a heart attack because he was an addict-” 

“Leo had a heart attack because he didn't sleep for six years!” 

Her eyes glistened as he yelled, and for a minute he was worried he had scared her. Then CJ walked back over to him, placing her hand on his cheek. Her lips were pressed tightly together and her hand was cold. He let himself wonder for a moment if he should be worried about that, before remembering that they lived in DC and it was December. 

“Okay. I’ll sleep.” 

He knew she was saying more than that, that those words meant that she was listening to him. But he couldn’t resist.

“And you’ll drink more water? And not that crappy, calorie infested coffee you make Charlie get you. Actual water.” 

She huffed, moving her hand from his cheek. 

“Yes, Dad, I’ll eat my vegetables.” 

He tried to glare at her, but couldn’t manage it. CJ smiled at him, looking happier than he’d seen her in weeks. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” 

Her voice was soft, like she actually thought he was going to say no. 

“Just so, you know, you won’t have to install secret cameras in my apartment to make sure I’m sleeping.” 

He ignored the dig, knowing she was just nervous about asking him. They’d been doing this, whatever this was, with each other for so long, Toby would think it shouldn’t feel awkward anymore. But that wasn’t how it worked, and he knew it. And she wasn’t propositioning him, or asking him for anything- she was exhausted.

Toby nodded quickly- “Go get some clothes. You know where everything is, right?” 

She didn't bother to answer, already halfway to the bathroom. 

He changed quickly before grabbing a few pillows and sheets, and heading to the couch. A few minutes later, CJ waltzed out of the bathroom in a towel, not noticing- or caring- about his reaction. 

“Why are you making up the couch there, honey?” 

He ignored the nickname and responded, pointedly looking away from her body. 

“I’m going to sleep here. And didn't I say you could grab some clothes?” 

She smiled teasingly. “Can’t restrain yourself?” 

“Claudia Jean, we both know I’ve seen you in outfits less conducive to restraint,” he scoffed.

She swatted at him, walking away- presumably to steal some of his clothes. She came back in a Berkeley shirt and his boxer shorts, hair up in a knot. He felt himself staring, but couldn’t seem to look away. She raised her eyebrows at his reaction. 

“That’s not mine,” he noted. “You keep old college shirts in my closet?”

CJ nodded amusedly, like she was waiting for him to say something she didn’t already know. 

Toby wondered if she enjoyed driving him crazy. The answer was probably yes, but he didn’t dare ask- he was too worried he would grab her mid-sentence and kiss the life out of her. 

He cleared his throat. “Good night.” 

He walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, too intimate to be casual but too chaste to be anything like what he wanted to do. As he was turning to leave, she grabbed his arm. 

“Jeez, CJ, what?” 

“Where are you going?” she asked simply. 

“Release your death grip on my arm, then I’ll tell you!” 

She let go abruptly, a sheepish smile on her face. 

“Sorry. Old habits,” she trailed off. 

Toby shook his arm out. “I feel bad for your brothers,” he muttered. 

She cocked an eyebrow at him, reminding him wordlessly of the original question. 

He gestured lamely to the couch. “I told you, I’m sleeping on the couch.”

CJ sighed deeply, a “why do I put up with this man” kind of sigh that Toby knew well.

“You idiot, why would I sleep in your bed?” 

He blinked at her. “I mean, you’ve slept in it before. I figured you wouldn’t want the couch-” 

He was cut off as she grabbed his arm again, dragged him to the bedroom. She ignored his cries of pain- which, to be fair, were fake. For the most part.

Toby shifted awkwardly, pretending to think over the decision. 

“CJ, I don't know if I feel comfortable being in bed with my boss- hey!” 

Toby ducked to avoid the pillow hurtling towards him. 

“Come here,” CJ groaned. “I’m sleeping in a bed for the first time this week, don't ruin this for me.” 

“This week? CJ!” 

His protests were muffled by her lips on his, kissing him deeply. CJ knotted her fingers in his ratty t-shirt, pulling him closer. She savored the short kiss, the first one they’d shared in a while. God, she’d missed having him this close to her. She leaned back with a satisfied expression on her face. 

“Good night,” she said firmly. 

“Good night,” Toby replied, still dazed. 

He’d known this woman for as long as he could remember, but somehow she still managed to amaze him. He snuck a look at her- sprawled next to him, her legs intertwined with his. She would steal all the blankets and take up half the bed, just like always, but he didn’t care. Toby took a deep breath, trying to commit this moment to memory. He didn't get these moments of peace often- neither of them did. He’d make this one last as long as he could.

this was SO FUN!! sorry it took so long! it was supposed to be some short fluff and i ended up with this, lol. thank you so much for the prompt- i hope you like it! i love doing these, so send me more anytime- i reblog prompt lists WAY too much. these two are the best agh i love writing for them<33333

[casualbatteryoperator]

a thousand droids | obi-wan x reader

summary: during your training with anakin, you tell him that you would much rather fight an army of droids that confess your feelings to obi-wan.

warnings: probably bad writing? this is my first fic in 4 years! other than that, none.

word count: 1,034 and im not sorry 

     -mori <3

You decided it would be a great idea to spar with your friend in training ground under the breezy Coruscant weather. It was a rather peaceful day in the temple; no urgent meetings, no missions, and nothing to do. Oh, boy, were you wrong.

“Master y/n,” Anakin says as both your lightsabers clash onto eachother. “Yes,” you block another one of his hits. “Are you trying to distract me, Anakin?” You quirked a brow. He huffs at this and pulls his weapon back. “No, master.” You mimicked his actions and stepped back, turning off the bright blue blade and chucking the hilt back into your belt. It was time for a break anyway. As if reading your mind, Anakin does the same and takes a seat on the ground. “You were saying?” 

“I was going to ask whether or not you’ll tell Master Kenobi how you feel.”  Shock, confusion, annoyance, but really who can you blame? It was getting obvious. “And don’t you deny it, too.” Anakin laughs. “Anakin! It’s not funny.” You moved down in front of him, looking at the young man straight in the eyes, smirking, you said, “You being with Senator Amidala does not give you the freedom to play matchmaker.” It was his turn to be shocked. “And don’t you deny it, too,” you mocked, crossing your arms. Anakin lets out a breathy laugh. “But seriously, Master, why won’t you give it a shot?”

Deciding you’ve had enough of this conversation, you smiled at Anakin and stood up. “I would rather fight thousands of droids than confess.” I would and I could, yet a thousand is too many. You shook your head and laughed at your own thought, turning your back at the boy. “Confess what?” Right in front of you stood the man you had just been talking about. Nothing, just Anakin being stupid. Your mind spoke for you. Voice not working due to shock, at the back of you head all you could worry about was what if he found out, what if he heard your conversation with Anakin.  “Hello, Master!” Anakin gets up from the ground, a smug smile passes his lips. Ugh, Anakin, you little twerp. Obi-Wan furrows his brows at you, hearing your thoughts. Looking behind you, he sees Anakin walking towards the pair of you. “Master Kenobi,” You finally spoke. “Were you looking for Anakin?” You grab the back of Anakin’s robe and tugged at it harshly, forcing a toothy grin. “You’re dead if he finds out.” You whisper. Obi-Wan heard you, but decided to ignore it. “Yes, well- no. No, I was not looking for Anakin.”  “Well, if that’s the case then, I’m off.” Said Anakin. “Off to see Padmé, I bet,” You rolled your eyes, Obi-Wan raises a brow to this. You wave it off, chuckling.  Obi-Wan watches as Anakin leaves the training grounds. Once Anakin was out of sight, he turns to you. “Kenobi,” you looked at him in the eyes. Eyes you always got lost in. “What brings you here?” You ask. “I was just passing by, actually.” He smiled. Oh, Maker, his smile could light up the whole galaxy. “You were sparring with Anakin?” He gestures a hand, signaling for both of you to walk out of the training gorunds. “Yes. We thought, since there was nothing to do, we’d spend our time training and whatnot.” “When I came here, you said something about confessing.” Something flickered in Obi-Wan’s eyes when he said that. Jealousy, maybe, but it was probably just you imagining things for your lack of his affection. You cleared your throat, “Anakin, you know? Always joking around.”  “My, Master y/n, have you done something to disappoint the council?”  He teased, tilting his head. There it was again, the little flicker of jealousy in his eyes. “Well, have you?” “No.” You squeaked, you thought of it for a second, maybe confessing wouldn’t hurt. That way it could just go away. Better to let go than to keep it in, yes?   “Yes.” Obi-Wan says. You forgot about that. Kenobi, master of mind-trickery. Kenobi, you’re reading my mind aren’t you?  “Yes.” He laughs at this. “Then stop,” You paused. “Stop and listen to me.” He stops laughing, lips forming a thin line. He nods for you to continue.

You stepped back a bit. Confessing shouldn’t be this hard, you’ve been friends with Obi-Wan since you were padawans. So, why is this so hard? Right... the code. You were gathering your thoughts, fixing them to avoid blurting out a bunch of incomprehensible non-sense. Think, come on, think—  “Y/N?” You zoned out. Too caught up in your thoughts, well here goes. “Kenobi,” You let out a sigh. Damn, this is hard—  “Oh, for goodness sake!” Obi-Wan snaps you out of your thoughts. “You like Anakin, don’t you?”  So it was a flicker of Jealousy. No. Maybe it was a hint of disappointment and worry. You shook you head, “Not Anakin.”  “Then it must be someone. You can tell me, y/n. We’ve known each other since we were younglings. I’m your...” He paused. Why did he pause? “I’m your friend.” Oh. Of course.  “It isn’t that little twerp I like.” You say, looking down on the tiled floor. “It’s you, Obi-Wan. But, as you said, I’m your friend.” A sigh escaped your lips. This was it. You looked up at Obi-Wan, looking for an answer, his reaction was pure shock and confusion. “I thought you liked Anakin.” He shakes his head, laughing. “Pathetic.” You said, embarrassment flushing your cheeks. “Indeed, it was very pathetic of me.” He walks forward, nearing you. His face inches away from yours. You look at his ocean blue eyes, blushing you ask, “What are you doing?”  “Something the council will not approve of.” Obi-Wan grins. He closes the gap between the both of you, placing a sweet and delicate, long awaited kiss on your lips. You kiss back, feeling each others warmth. He pulls back, forehead pressed onto yours, eyes looking, staring at yours. You both let out a fit of giggles. After a while, he spoke, “Would you still fight a thousand of droids?” You shake you head, holding him closer, “No. I like this.”

my requests are open! feel free to send them in, i would gladly write something for you.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Our vision' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Our vision"

"Freya, people don't forget....nothing is forgiven !"

Chapter Summary : After having spent an peaceful night in an old cabin, Yirina & Park are ready to infiltrate the hidden soviet base in the Mount Yamantau but for the two of them....something's off....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3400

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Me & Park really did it...right in the middle of the USSR at the Mount Yamantau in an old abandoned cabin, the same place I presume I have done this with Freya before an long time ago. Honestly, both of us never thought that we were going to able to finish, thinking that at any moment, we could be jumped by an surprise guest but in fact, we were able to enjoy an moment of peace alone...an moment of passion we didn't really have made since some times...last time we did that was in an car, I can say that it's far better back on an bed.

Even with everything that happened since days, that moment was for releasing ourselves, to forget about all the things around us, like if we weren't spies at all...just women in love with each other. Directly that we finished our things that we went into getting sleep, me holding her like the person I wouldn't want to lose. That wasn't her fault at all to have me brainwashed....I can't be angry at her and I wouldn't never do this, knowing that after that, I will hate myself for what I did, I can't be mad at her because I'm in love with her.

All night, during my sleep, I was wondering of an lot of things, mostly about the mission that Hudson assigned to us : why only the two of us ? Why we don't have any radio support ? I couldn't answer those questions even if they were still in my head at the moment I woke up first, still holding Park in my arms. I got up and dressing up back in my clothes before heading to the little space in the cabin to prepare our two MREs, knowing that she will soon woke up.

"What an night." I could hear Park's slowly awakening voice behind me as I was actually preparing my MRE after doing hers.

"I'm seconding this." I smiled, turning around to look at her, her body covered by the white blanket hold by her hands. "You're looking like an angel." I exclaimed, watching her with great eyes, amazed by her beauty.

"Thanks." She whispered, passing her hand through her hair to make it look back to normal. "Which time is it ?" She asked, having finished.

"Almost noon, we slept for 12 hours straight." I replied, looking up at my watch on my left wrist before turning around to finish my MRE.

"Bloody hell." She exclaimed, sounding an bit stunned.

"Yeah, you really did sleep 12 hours." I scoffed, taking the two MRE in my hands, going to walk to the table where ours guns were posed on. "I've prepared your meal, get dressed and come eat."

"Yes, ma'am." She expressed in an fake lazy voice as she start to get up to put her clothes on. "I've been thinking now, that's an first." She said

"What ?" I stopped myself, almost getting an part of what I was eating in my mouth to look at her curiously on my chair. "An first to what ?" I added, wanting her to clarify.

"That you woke up first before me or anyone else." She replied, putting her jacket on and laughting about it.

"Really ?" I raised an eyebrow, slowly moving my arm to eat the meal I've got in my hands.

"Yirina..." She rolled her eyes around as she walked to get to the table. "You know what I mean, I'm always waking you up or you always waking after me." She clarified, sitting up in her chair to eat her own MRE.

"Is that an compliment ?" I chuckled, faking an incomprehension towards her.

"Well, since I'm always here when you woke up, yes." She winked at me before taking an bite of her MRE.

"So, thanks, then." I grinned, continuing to eat while exchangings some glares during the few moments after that little compliment.

"Apart of that, did you have any memories back ?" Park demanded after we both finished our meals together at the same time but I shook my head.

"No, didn't have anything this night." I fully responded, putting my arms in an crossed form on the table and looking outside through the window in front of me. "I was thinking of something else."

"And what was that ?" She asked me.

"At first, it was about you." I smirked back at her direction, causing an blushing from her on her cheeks before looking away. "But then, it was about that mission."

"You too ?" She breathed, putting her meal aside.

"I'm wondering why Hudson did sent only the two of us here." I started, taking an deep breath. "I know that saving Adler is important for the CIA but even if Perseus want an mysterious necessary data in that base, why he didn't send more people on it ?" I continued, knowing that she couldn't answer that question, no one couldn't right now. "

"I did propose to him to have some MI6 reinforcements but he wasn't allowing it." Park revealed, making me more curious about that.

"Why did he refused ?" I questioned her.

"He said that he wouldn't want to waste time and it must stay an discreet job." She answered, sounding like she wasn't believing his words at all. "You saw what the others tried to do, it was the same thing." She added.

"Yeah, you needed here, Adler's our priority number one." I sort of mimick Hudson himself and my impersonation did caused Park to laugh.

"You got lucky that he wasn't here." She joked with me laughing about my own joke about Hudson.

"I would have done it even if he was there to be honest." I admitted, leaning myself against the back of my chair.

"I bet you would do." She nodded with an smile before looking outside the window. "Do you think that our path will be clear to get to the base ?" She asked me.

"Since that the snowstorm ended as it seems, it would maybe take an little bit of more time to travel until arriving to the base." I responded, thinking about it even if we didn't set an foot outside to verify my claim. "We will scout out the entrance and when it's done, we will try to find an way to enter."

"The base must be lightly protected even if it's holding some dark secrets." She suggested, biting an part of her lips to me. "The soviets are maybe careful with that but as the base is deep inside the USSR, they aren't going to bring too much firepower." She continued, crossing her arms.

"Maybe but we don't have too much guns too." I exclaimed, making her look to our two MP5 on the table next to me. "An MP5 isn't going to blow up the entire soviet army arsenal." I scoffed.

"I agree with this." She stated before she got up from her chair. "We're going now or we wait for the afternoon ?"

"I think that we should go now." I replied, also getting up from my chair and grabbing my MP5 in the process. "More we wait, more it's possible that Freya & Knight can strike at any moment." I expressed, checking my MP5 current mag.

"You're right." Park said, moving to take her own MP5 and making sure that she got her pistol in its holstler. "Well, let's go." She ordered, moving to grab the other part of our very limited stuff in the cabin.

After we checked up that we got everything : guns, pistols, knifes and the map of the base with us, we were ready to leave and get out of that cabin, preparing ourselves to walk in the numerous path of the mountains to reach the hidden soviet base in the Yamantau. As we got out, we could see that the snow was much higher than the last time we were outside thanks to the big snowstorm that occured all night.

Once fully ready, we started to walk into an different direction from the path we took to get here and thanks to the snow, we had to peak a view at the map every 2 minutes to be sure that we weren't completely lost in the Urals Mountains. As I thought that we were going to woke up with the snowstorm still occuring, instead, we were greeted by an blue sky, some clouds and the sun, not even snow dropping on us and strangefully, the heat wasn't so cold, more moderate.

We walked almost 45 minutes on the mountains, trying to avoid any dangers in our path like maybe helicopters patrols or just ground patrols but by chances, the environement was calm...too much calm to be honest. Is it either me or it's just the ambience of the Urals everyday ? After that time, we finally arrived in sight of the hidden soviet base....that wasn't so hidden after all with an concrete entrance in the side of an mountain.

"Finally." I breathed, seeing the base in my sight before we start to walk on an path below it, Park taking the lead.

"This little storm should cover us." She told me, advancing as during our walk, an little snowstorm was happening and like she said, it was going to provide cover. "You didn't hear some shots before ?" She demanded to me as 10 minutes ago, we heard like two louds noises, echoing in the mountains.

"No, I don't know what he could be." I expressed sincerely as these sounds were like inaudible for me. "Do you want....

"Jesus !" Park cut me straight in my words and stopping herself and when I moved my head to look at what was in front of us, I could discover the dead body of an soviet guard. "That doesn't look good." She admitted as I moved past her to check the body.

"Someone shot him, must be the sounds you heard." I said, on one knee to observe the gunshot wound on the body. "One in the shoulder, one piercing his hand and his skull." I added, watching his left hand with an bullet hole in it. "He tried to protect himself but he didn't manage to survive." I then got up from it.

"That's means that we're not alone to have interest in this data." Park whispered, approaching me by behind.

"And also meaning that Freya & Knight are already here." I proclaimed, looking towards the path leading to the entrance of the hidden base. "We can't back down, it's maybe dangerous but it's too late to flee." I affirmed directly as I start to walk again.

"Do you think that they're still here ?" Park questioned me as I took the lead.

"If they're still here, we will try to stop them." I admitted before stopping at an few meters from an chained fance. "And if they're here, you will have to call me 'Bell'."

"To maintain the illusion that you're not aware of your true state." I nodded to her statement, she know that it's sometimes painful for me & her to pretend to be Bell but with Freya, I've got no choices.

"When our feets are inside, you're using Bell as my name." I breathed before moving to get through the fence that was already moved away, meaning that we were maybe walking in Freya & Knight footsteps.

"I know." Park chuckled, passing in the fence as I was making sure that she didn't have an scratch from the cut part of the fence. "There's more dead guys." She pointed at an direction and when I turned around, I could see this time two dead bodies, facing each other.

"Poor devils didn't see the two coming." I exclaimed, both walking to get next to the two bodies. "These two were slashed by something that's not an knife." I checked up the wounds on them. "The cuts are too large for an single knife." I verified that by putting my own knife above on the wound of one of the guys at his chest.

"Must be Knight's work." Park thought, making me look at her with an curious face. "Back at the time, Knight was using like ice pick for his job." She continued, kneeling with one knee on the ground. "Guess that it's still his tools of work."

"Bodies are still hot, meaning that the two are still here." I proclaimed, having checked the heat of the body only by touching his neck.

"No way to back down." Park whispered, getting up and looking at the big entrance in the inside. "It's maybe an trap but....let's do this." She took an deep breath before we start to move away.

With the guards already dead, our doubts about having to face Freya & Knight were confirmed, the two were still there and we will have to watch out. It's with guns up and checking our surroundings that we start to enter the hidden base, discovering some dead bodies on the way in. When my foots were inside, I was now 'Bell', I need to react & act like her and I will have no choices, Park knows it and even if it's painful for us.

"We should maybe check the security room." Park proposed, arriving at an sort of junction between two big hallways. "There's cameras around here."

"Good idea." I nodded, walking in the left hallway as the security room was in that direction. In fact, it was just at an few meters from the panels indicating its direction. "I'm going in." I told Park, taking my M1911 in my right hand, holding the door handle in the other before slowly opening the door. "All clear." I said as the room was quiet but with an dead guy on the ground, an knife on his back.

"Cameras." Park pointed at the control panel, discovering multiples TV in front of us. "There must be an way to rewind them."

"Let me check that." I volunteered myself, putting my M1911 on the table, starting to verify if we were able to verify our claims. "Got it." I breathed, 30 seconds after I start. Hopefully that I was russian...."Camera 5" I pointed at the TV in the middle of the others.

"That's the two, entering inside." She scratched her forehead as we were seeing Freya & Knight advancing while neutralizing the soviets guards on their path. "Wait, there aren't alone, there's an third person !" She exclaimed, putting her finger at the position of where she see them.

"Yeah but they're hooded." I muttered, seeing them now. "I will try to put the cameras back to normal, trying to see where the trio could be." I suggested as Park walked behind me to check that no one was coming in. "Freya is in the archive room." I expressed, looking at the TV right next to the middle one. "She's alone." I added.

"Bell !" I could hear Park's voice behind me, sounding an bit in trouble and some footsteps too but when I redressed myself, I could hear an click of an gun...pointed at the back of my head.

"Game's over, you fucking fuckers." This was the voice of an man just behind me, his pistol threatening me. "Tutututut....don't even think about it." He added, knowing that I was looking at my M1911 on the table that he decide to grab in his hands.

"You must be...the british Knight." I put my hands up while turning around him to face him.

"I'm an Irish, you wanker." He told me, pointing his pistol right between my two eyes, seeing that Park was hold at gunpoint behind him by the third person, still hooded. I could discover his outfit, an big Perseus white paint on his torso and an black helmet. "You are the lady Bell, it seems."

"Touché." I decided to joke around, playing what Bell would do in that situation.

"Pretty funny." He breathed, sounding annoyed before he moved behind me, still aiming at me. "Walk, we're going to join Wraith and don't try anything with your friend." He ordered as we start to walk outside the security room, Park at my side and our hands up as Knight and the third person was holding us at gunpoint. We then arrived in the archive room where I could see Freya, putting something in an bag. "You got the data, Wraith ?"

"Yes, our work is done soon here." She replied, sounding normal before she turned around to look at us, not even surprised to see us here. "Where did you find them ?"

"Been wandering in the security room, Freya." The third person responded to her....that voice was..familiar to me as they were moving in front of Park before removing their hood.

"Sonya Kuzmin !" I snorted, discovering them after all these times in front of us...."How was the arrest by the CIA ?" I scoffed but my words only provoked Knight to literally put his pistol behind my head.

"Seems that you didn't forget about me." They exclaimed, smiling at me. "But now, the roles are reversed, right ?" She was the one to scoff right now, aiming at Park's face. "We got luck that the CIA guy told us about them." They turned around to look at Freya with an smile.

"He sold us out..." I whispered silently, exchanging an glare with Park...this mission was an set-up from him...he gave us away to Perseus....that's why he never wanted us to have support.....

"What do you want ?" Park asked Freya directly.

"What I want ?" Freya started, moving slowly towards Park to face her. "I want to know why...you stoled my Yiri ?" She demanded, feeling in her voice an broken tone deep inside her.

"What are you talking about, Wraith ?" Park was faking an incomprehension at Freya before Sonya moved to put Park on her knees.

"Don't touch her !" I ordered to Sonya, feeling the angriness in my voice before Knight decided to do the same for me and then, Freya moved to face me, kneeling.

"What did they do to you ?" She told me silently, resisting the urge to put her hands on my face before she did it anyway.

"Hey, who is she, Freya ?" Sonya demanded, sounding an bit stunned to see Freya doing this.

"She wasn't just an 'sister' to me, Sonya." Freya answered, turning her head towards them as me...I was keeping an straight face. "What...did you do ?" She repeated to Park.

"Nothing !" Park admitted clearly. "No one is touching Bell or they wil suffer !" She affirmed in an angry voice and Sonya decided to hit her on her face with their pistol, not knocking her down entirely.

"You..." I was going to curse and threw myself on Sonya before Knight put his hands on me to stop me moving.

"You ain't moving an single inch, maggot." Knight said in an serious voice. "We kill them and we're off ?" He demanded.

"No !" Freya directly replied, sounding an bit angry to heard this idea to have us killed here. "We have to bring the two with us, we will try to save Yirina and....maybe persuade Park to change allegiances..." She revealed to us before getting up.

"In your dreams." Park taunted them.

"Sonya." Freya gestured to them to move to Park to maybe hit her again but then, Sonya took an syringue out of one of their pockets to inject it in Park's neck who in the seconds following the injection, lose consciousness before falling on the ground on her back...

"What did you fucking do ?" I exclaimed loudly.

"We just put her to sleep." Sonya responded, throwing the syringue aside on the ground.

"Sonya, you call the helicopter : they will took the two with you back at the hideout." She ordered in an serious voice before Sonya moved away to make that call. "Knight, we will have to arm the nuke to cover our tracks."

"I ain't going anywhere and you will not take Park with you." I proclaimed, sounding like an death threat.

"I'm sorry." Freya whispered before she took an needle too, causing me to struggle but it was useless as Knight was holding me until Freya injected me with the needle...in the neck..."It's the only way, I'm sorry."

"Things are done now." Knight said as I was slowly going into vapes, falling on my back, watching Freya & Knight on top of me, watching me & Park almost inconscious before Freya took an radio in her hands.

"Stitch, we got the data !" She started as she looked at us. "We also got Yirina & Park, the CIA guy was right."

"Good, bring them to me." I could hear Stitch's voice through the radio as Knight was moving to grab my & Park's legs to drag us on the ground and I could only look at Park, trying to join my right hand with her left one....she was...inconscious and I was soon going to be like her...before I could hear Stitch for the last time as my body was going asleep....

"They will soon understand our vision for an Greater Russia !"

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {7}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: Enjoy this long, emotionally charged chapter. Review trigger warnings above..

Comment to tell me what you think, or to be tagged! x

“Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside you that you didn’t dare let them escape in case they blew you wide open? Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t look in the mirror for fear of finding the face of evil glaring back at you?” ― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

Mor was at Azriel’s.

Feyre knew, because she had called her in a panic. After waking up to a naked Rhysand on the couch, his arm tossed around her waist, Feyre snuck away and closed herself in the bathroom, where she called Mor.

Hi, I need you, something happened.

Are you okay? I’m at Azriel’s, got in early. Come over.

After throwing on a pair of athletic leggings and a tank top, Feyre slipped on her flip flops and was running to the other side of the apartment complex, where she knocked quietly on Azriel’s door.

Mor opened it up, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand. “Well, hello, beautiful.”

“I fucked Rhys,” she whispered.

The two stared at one another in silence, Mor’s eyes wide, the mug in her hand long forgotten. She looked over her shoulder at the quiet apartment - Azriel and Mila must have still been asleep - and took a step outside, closing the door gently behind her. “You did what?” 

The panic set in again. “I….we had a little bit to drink and then, I don’t know, we were talking about that one time he banged Macy Woodsworth in high school, then I told him I had a sex dream about him, and it all escalated pretty quickly after that.” 

Mor blinked, lips parted. “You...slept with Rhys.”

Feyre’s face fell into her hands. “Fuck me.”

“It sounds like my cousin already did.”

Feyre’s hands fell to her side and she glared at Mor, who was smiling.

“Why are you smiling?” Feyre whined, sitting on the concrete outside of Azriel’s apartment. 

“Well, this is a good thing, right?” Mor asked, sitting next to her, legs crossed. “I mean, Rhysand has been in love with you for years, and you obviously care for him.”

Feyre tensed. “What?”

Mor rolled her eyes. “Don’t act like you’ve never noticed. Everyone knows.”

“He’s my best friend-”

“No, no,” Mor said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Don’t give me that shit. Yes, he is your best friend. You two know each other more than anyone else. You have a bond that is unbreakable. To me, that sounds like the foundation of some solid soulmate-shit.” 

Feyre fell silent. Rhysand was in love with her. He had never said anything, never hinted at it. But, Mor was right. There were times when he would look at her, and she knew. 

“The second I woke up this morning, I felt so peaceful,” Feyre began, remembering the early morning light streaming through the living room window, lighting up his tanned skin. “But then I started to freak the fuck out. What if that was a mistake? What if I mess it up? What if we were to try something, and then it went to shit? Or, what if we don’t try something, and then it’s awkward because we had sex? I don’t want to lose him, Mor. He has been my one constant for all these years.” 

“Want to know what I think?” Mor asked.

Feyre nodded.

“You need to go wake his ass up and talk to him about it,” she said, patting Feyre’s knee. 

Feyre sighed. Of course, Mor would say the one thing she didn’t want to do. “I know.”

Mor smiled, and took her friend’s hand. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Feyre winked. “Sorry I woke you up so early to tell you that I banged your cousin.” 

Mor shrugged. “I like being the first to know things.”

Feyre snorted, and repeated, “I missed you.”

Mor grinned. “We’re going out tonight. I expect you and Rhysand to have talked it out and not make it awkward.”

Feyre nudged Mor’s shoulder. “Yeah, thanks, no pressure.” 

“Just saying,” Mor crooned. “If you show up acting weird, I’m getting you drunk and making you sing Madonna on karaoke again.” 

Feyre would never live that down. 

A few minutes later, she was walking back toward her and Rhysand’s apartment. The walk seemed to take forever, the nerves inside of her stomach growing wild and untameable. 

But when she opened their door and let herself inside, Rhysand was gone.

~~~~~

“I’m fucking coming!”

Cassian stumbled out of his bedroom and down the hall, Bryaxis on his heels. He glanced at the clock above the stove as he passed the kitchen. 

It was just after 8.

The knocking started again just as Cassian was throwing open the door, still half asleep. “Rhys?”

Rhys was covered in sweat, his shirt off and tossed over his shoulder. “Hi. Yeah. Good morning.”

He swept past Cassian, into his apartment.

“Did you run here?” Cassian asked, brows raised.

Rhysand nodded.

“Are you-“

“I had sex last night.”

Cassian halted, then nodded. “Nice. Proud of you. Thanks for coming by so early on a fucking Saturday to let me know.” 

Rhysand mumbled something as he opened Cassians fridge.

“Hmm?” Cassian asked,  closing his apartment door and pulling a chair out from the kitchen table. Once he sat, Bryaxis laid by his feet.

Rhysand closed the fridge and leaned against the counter. As he opened the water bottle he had grabbed, he said, “With Feyre.”

Cassian blinked, then a smile spread wide across his face. “Well, it’s about damn time.”

Rhysand rubbed his temples with his index fingers. “No, you don’t - she was gone before I woke up this morning. I tried calling her, but her phone was on the kitchen table. She’s fucking ignoring me. Probably regrets it.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Doubtful. I bet everything I have on the fact that you’re overreacting.” 

“Feyre doesn’t just get up and haul ass in the morning,” Rhysand continued, lost in his thoughts.

With a sigh, Cassian got up and pulled a bottle of whiskey off the counter and a glass out of the cabinet. He poured it a fourth of the way up the side and handed it to Rhysand.

“It’s eight o clock in the morning.”

“Yeah, well,” Cassian said, pushing the glass into Rhysand’s chest. “You need it.”

Taking the glass, Rhysand hopped up onto the counter top and gulped it down. 

“Take it easy,” Cassian muttered. “Did something happen? Was it awkward? Like that one time with Macy Woodsworth?”

Rhysand shot him a glare. Cassian brought up the Macy Woodsworth situation at every opportunity. “No. It was great. Natural.”

“Was she...pleased?”

Rhysand took a deep breath in before punching Cassian in the shoulder.

He just laughed. “Ow. I’m just saying. It’s a valid question. Maybe her expectations were too high….”

“Prick,” Rhysand mumbled. “Trust me, I did my part well.” 

“And did she?”

“I hate you.”

“Just curious.” Cassian grinned. “Look, I’m sure she’ll be waiting at the apartment when you get back. Alright? We’re all going out tonight, though, and if you two make it weird, I swear I’ll kick your ass.” 

“I-”

“Go home, Rhys. Proclaim your love. Have a Shakespeare moment.”

Rhysand lifted a brow. “A Shakespeare moment?”

“Yeah, like Romeo and Juliet,” Cassian said, pulling a carton of orange juice out of the fridge.

“I’m assuming you’ve never actually paid attention to Romeo and Juliet, Cass.”

“True,” he agreed. “Not the point. Go home. Talk to Feyre.”

“But I-”

“Home. Feyre. Fucking go.”

Rhysand’s lips tightened but he nodded. “Fine.”

“Good boy,” Cassian grinned. “And I’ll see you both tonight.”

Rhysand mumbled something incomprehensible before flipping him off, giving Bryaxis a quick tummy rub, and storming out. 

He was always so over-dramatic. 

“Wanna go for a walk, Ax?” 

Cassian had barely gotten the words out before Bryaxis was running toward him. After hooking his leash onto his collar, Cassian slipped on his tennis shoes and fled. 

Cassian preferred walking in the morning. The heat wasn’t out in full force yet. Bryaxis, however, liked walking, always, and getting him out of the house was much easier than getting him back in. 

“Do you ever wear a shirt?”

Cassian tugged on Bryaxis’ leash and turned around. Walking behind him, along the Sidra, was Nesta, one earbud in her ear. She wore a pair of shorts, a black sports bra, and her tennis shoes. 

Cassian looked over his shoulder, then back to Nesta. “Shit, are you talking to me?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Yes, and I already regret it.”

Cassian smirked. “And you’re admiring my body, it seems.”

“Asking you why you’re half nude is not the same as admiring you,” Nesta said, stopping in front of him, hands across her chest. “You shouldn’t think so highly of yourself.”

Cassian shrugged. “Someone has to.”

He swore she almost smiled. 

“Look,” she began, looking away. “I was going to come by later. To tell you thank you. For yesterday.” 

Cassian tried not to look too shocked. “What are neighbors for?”

She nodded, starting to walk past him. “Right. Well, I’ll see you around, then.”

Cassian watched as she picked up her pace before calling out, “Hey! A bunch of us are going out tonight, you should come.” 

Nesta turned around, jogging backwards. “Don’t push it.” She turned her back to him, and then she was gone. 

~~~~~

Azriel cursed. “When was the last time we all went out together? High school?”

“Something like that,” Mor grinned. She looked in the backseat, at Mila. “Are you excited to play with your friend?”

“Yes!” Mila grinned, just as they pulled into the driveway. “We’re here!” 

Azriel laughed as he parked his truck. “Be right back.”

Mor nodded and bid Mila goodbye. 

She hopped out of the truck into Azriel’s arms and, along with her backpack, he carried her to the front door and rang the bell. Elain opened the door a second later, smile bright. “Hi, Mila!”

“Lain!” she giggled. 

Azriel set her down. “Hey, thank you again for agreeing to watch her.”

Azriel had felt uncomfortable asking, but he didn’t trust many people with Mila, and Mila really seemed to get along well with Elain. 

“It’s really no problem,” she smiled, leaning against the doorway. “I figure we’ll play some games, have dinner, and watch a movie.”

“Yay!” Mila laughed, bringing her backpack inside. 

“Sounds great,” Azriel said, attempting his best smile, hoping he didn’t look too unconvincing. “I’ll be back around 10 or so, if that’s not too late.”

“Not at all,” Elain said, eyes soft. “You have my number. Feel free to call.”

“Likewise,” Azriel said. “Alright, Mila. I’m leaving. I love you. Be good, please.”

She rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. “I’m always good!”

Azriel snorted. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Go enjoy yourself,” Elain said. She truly had a beautiful smile. “We’ll be fine.”

Azriel nodded. “No, I know. I just...call me if you need anything, yeah?”

Elain nodded. “Of course.”

After one last goodbye to Mila, Azriel was back in the car. The second he closed the door, Mor was staring him down. 

“Yes?” Azriel sighed, pulling out of the driveway.

“You are so into her,” Mor said, shaking her head.

“Wipe that smile off your face,” Azriel said. “No, I’m not.”

“Are too. I was watching every second of that.”

Azriel eyed her. “You couldn’t even see my face.”

“Az, honey, I’ve known you for a long time. I know your body language. I have never seen you as relaxed as you were for those three minutes.” Mor grinned. “You’re fucking smitten.”

Azriel cleared his throat. “I don’t even know her. All I know is that she was the fucking prom queen. Do you know what I did at prom? I was getting baked under the bleachers.” 

“Well, we’re not in high school anymore, are we,” Mor added, clearly amused. “You should ask her out.”

“No.”

“You should know by now that I don’t take no for an answer.”

Azriel just laughed, and shook his head. “You drive me crazy.”

“But you love me.”

“Yes,” Azriel sighed. “Yes, I do.”

~~~~~

“Just come to the bar, alright? I’ll ask the guys if they know where he’s at.”

“Fine. Be there in ten.”

Mor hung up. Feyre had called her nearly ten times that day, freaking out. Although, if Mor slept with her roommate and that roommate had avoided her all day, Mor probably would freak out, too.

She sat back at their table in the corner alongside Azriel and Cassian.

“Have either of you heard from Rhysand today?”

Azriel shook his head, but Cassian sighed. “Yeah, he showed up at my place way too early this morning. He was panicking.”

Mor raised a brow. “Is he still at your apartment?”

Cassian chuckled. “Fuck no, he left like twenty minutes later.”

“Why was he panicking?” Azriel asked, sipping his rum.

“Because he slept with Feyre,” Mor and Cassian said, simultaneously. 

Azriel slowly set his glass back down on the table. “And I’m the only one that didn’t know?”

Before either could reply, a small woman with short, black hair and a deep, green mini dress slid into the booth next to Cassian.

He grinned, throwing his arm around her. “Ah, Amren. How I’ve missed you.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and Amren just scoffed. “Don’t flatter me. Continue talking about how Rhys fucked Feyre, please.”

Azriel blinked. “Seriously? You knew? You just got here!”

“I’ve seen it coming for some time,” Amren grinned, and Mor loved that grin, because it typically terrified men.

Too bad the two men at the table were used to that grin. 

“Can you see where Rhys is now?” Mor asked. “Because, apparently, he’s missing.”

“And Feyre?” Amren asked.

“On her way,” Mor supplied. “She’s been wound up tight all day. The woman needs a drink.”

“Well, good thing we’re at a bar,” Cassian said, calling the waitress for a pitcher of beer. 

Then, his smile faded as he looked toward the door. “Ah, fuck.”

Mor looked over her shoulder where Rhysand stumbled in. He was still wearing his running clothes, which were wrinkly and surely smelled like shit. He saw his friends and waved, obnoxiously, before heading to the table.

“Mor,” he smiled, eyes glazed and lids heavy. “Amren, fuck, so fucking nice to see you. Welcome home.”

“You okay, bud?” Azriel asked, cautiously.

“Oh, I’m fucking great,” Rhysand beamed. “Yeah, no, I’m so...so fucking great.”

“Have you been back home today?” Mor asked. “Feyre’s been looking for you.”

Rhysand’s hand clutched his chest and he frowned. “Oh, fucking Feyre, I fucking...No, no no no, I’ve been ignoring her. Because she hates me.” He threw his hands in the air.

“How much have you drunk? Have you been drinking all day?” Cassian asked. “Because you're scaring me. You know, a little.”

“Let him make a fool of himself,” Amren muttered. “Entertainment for all.”

“Let’s sober him up before Feyre gets here,” Mor said, reaching for Rhysand’s hand.

But he stumbled back. “Feyre,” he began, “is coming now? Oh, no, no, no...I’m not-not ready.”

But the front door opened, once more, and Feyre came in. She spotted them all, then Rhysand, and froze, before taking a deep breath and walking their direction. 

“Feyre!” he called out to her, holding his arms open. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

Feyre eyed him wearily as she approached, then turned to the others. “He’s already “fuck” drunk?”

Rhysand’s mouth became significantly dirtier as his alcohol consumption increased, it was true. 

“Yeah,” Mor said. “He was drunk when he got here.”

Feyre blinked, then looked to Rhys. “Rhys-”

“D-Dance with me,” he slurred, before grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the dance floor. 

“Poor Feyre,” Azriel muttered.

“Poor Rhys,” Cassian followed. “Because I’m never going to let him live this down. This falls right under Macy Woodsworth.”

Amren snorted. “For someone so handsome, he certainly knows how to embarrass himself.”

Mor watched him dance with Feyre, brow furrowed. Rhysand wasn’t okay. She knew her cousin, he didn’t get this drunk for no reason. He was in love with Feyre, she knew he was, but something wasn’t right. He had waited for years to have a moment like this with her, and now, he was drunk as fuck and acting like an idiot. 

Feyre let him swing her around the dance floor, but she was watching him intently. 

“Should I go save her?” Mor asked. “Come on, Az.”

Azriel hesitated. “What? Why me?”

“Cause you’re sitting next to me and Cassian likes dancing with Amren. She lies and tells him how great he is.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “I’m a great dancer.”

Amren grinned, that little, wicked grin. “Yes, you are. Now come.”

Cassian followed Amren out of the booth, sticking his tongue out at Mor as he did so.

Mor just rolled her eyes. “Come on, Az. Please. For me.”

Azriel sighed. “I hate dancing.””

“But you love me,” she smiled, pulling on his hand. Reluctantly, Azriel let her drag him out onto the floor, next to Rhysand and Feyre.

Feyre was watching Rhysand wearily. 

“You okay?” Mor mouthed, as Azriel pulled Mor into his arms. As much as he claimed he hated dancing, he was a lovely dancer. 

Feyre nodded, attempting a smile, but Mor knew better: her eyes were full of worry. 

“Enjoy yourself,” Azriel whispered into her ear. “They can take care of themselves.”

Mor knew he was right, but it was hard watching your closest friend and your cousin in such an odd situation. “Fine,” she called back. “Now, tell me how you’ll ask Elain out.”

Azriel shook his head, but he was smiling, faintly. “You are a pain in my ass, you know that?”

She nodded, and twirled herself around. “Yes, yes I do.”

~~~~~

“I like this movie.”

Elain had dug up The Land Before Time, which her father had kept through the years from her childhood. It was on VHS, but was eventually transferred to a DVD, which was how they were now watching it.

“I like Littlefoot,” Mila continued. “He’s nice.”

“Yes, he is,” Elain chuckled. “Your uncle will be coming to get you soon, but I think we’ll be able to finish the movie before then.”

Mila looked over at Elain, on the opposite end of the couch. “Do you think Uncle Azzie is cute?”

Elain’s brows rose. “Why do you ask that?”

Mila shrugged. “Some girls at the store were telling Uncle Azzie he was cute. Do you think he’s cute?”

“I suppose so,” Elain said, trying not to laugh.

“He thinks you’re cute, too,” she said, looking back toward the t.v.

Elain froze. “Why do you say that?”

“I asked him,” she said, as if it were nothing.

Then again, could she really trust the word of a four year old?

“Well, that’s very kind,” Elain continued, unable to find anything else to say.

“I love Uncle Az,” Mila smiled, stifling a yawn. “But I miss mama.”

Elain watched the little girl for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry to hear that, Mila.”

Mila looked over at Elain. “Uncle Az says she has to go bye-bye. I won’t see her for a long time.”

Elain tried to connect the dots, but came up short. 

“Will you marry Uncle Azzie?” Mila asked, when Elain said nothing.

Elain nearly choked on nothing, the air growing thicker. “I don’t think so, Mila.”

“But I want you to,” she said. “I like you.”

“I like you, too,” Elain said.

Mila didn’t say anything more after that. She watched the movie for about five more minutes before she was sleeping soundly.

It wasn’t much longer until the doorbell rang, and Elain hurried toward the door. Azriel stood on the front porch, hands in his pockets.

“Right on time,” Elain said, stifling a grin. “You could’ve stayed later, you know. She’s been great.”

“I have trouble letting loose,” he said, then shrugged. “So I’m told.”

Elain laughed, and nodded. “I see. Well, she’s asleep on the couch.”

She stepped aside and, after a polite nod, Azriel came in. He saw Mila and chuckled. “She’s an interesting four-year-old, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Elain agreed. “She’s very….observant.”

Azriel’s smile wavered, but he nodded. “Yes, she is.”

Elain grabbed Mila’s unicorn backpack off a chair in the corner and handed it to Azriel. He put it over his shoulder. 

“Thank you, again,” he said, quietly, smiling at Elain. For once, his smile didn’t seem forced. “Really, I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” Elain said. “Truly.”

That smile returned, and Elain felt it throughout every inch of her body.

Azriel scooped Mila up off the couch and cradled her in his arms. 

Azriel walked to the door, but then he stopped. “Hey, um, I was….wondering. I know we don’t know each other that well, at all, really, but, I...would you like to go out to dinner? Maybe Friday night?”

Elain froze. He was asking her out? She hesitated, and a nervous laugh shook her body. “Okay. Sure. Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

Elain nodded, that nervous laugh returning.

Azriel smiled, and cleared his throat. “Alright. Great. I’ll text you?”

Elain bit her lip. “Perfect.”

“Okay,” Azriel said, quietly.

“Okay,” Elain said, too. 

Azriel laughed quietly as he pushed open the door and carried Mila to his truck. “Goodnight, Elain.”

“Goodnight,” she breathed, but the door had already shut. She watched him put Mila into her car seat, then got behind the wheel, himself.

She noticed a woman sitting in the passenger side.

She must be a friend.

Family, maybe.

After they drove away, Elain gingerly shut the door and leaned back against it, the Land Before Time still playing in the background.

He’d asked her out.

Elain was going out on a date.

~~~~~

“Not that I don’t love having you, but why don’t you wanna stay with your parents?”

Amren snorted. “My dad is a dick and my mom kisses his ass. I prefer the company of Bryaxis.”

Cassian laughed, under his breath. “Not my company?”

Amren debated it. She shrugged. “You’re the bonus.”

“I’ll take it,” Cassian grinned, pulling into his parking spot. “Speaking of Bryaxis, he’s probably aching to go out.” 

He got out, and Amren was close behind. She had left her belongings at her parents house earlier that day. She’d stopped to visit them before she took the bus to meet the others at the bar. She promised to get her bag filled with necessities tomorrow; but, until then, she’d sleep in Cassian’s old Velaris High Basketball tee. 

They reached his apartment, and went inside. The moment they entered, Bryaxis was jumping up on Amren.

“I’ll never understand why he likes you more than me,” Cassian muttered.

Amren grinned as she scratched Bryaxis behind his ears. “I love you too, Ax. Yes I do.”

Cassian slipped off his boots and crashed on the couch. “So, tell me what’s been going on lately. What have I missed while you’re away at school?”

Amren sighed. “In a year, I will finally have my degree and be able to open my own law practice. Until then, I will be hiding away in my apartment in Adriata, hoping all the other college assholes leave me alone. I’m so fucking sick of going to school.”

Cassian chuckled. “Well, I’m proud of you. You’re almost done.”

Amren agreed and stretched out on the floor, alongside Bryaxis. “I met a guy.”

Cassian’s gaze snapped to where she laid atop the rug. “Yeah?”

Amren nodded, still focused on petting Bryaxis. “Yeah. Varian. He’s a good guy.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll pretend I’m not offended that you didn’t tell me.”

Shaking her head, Amren snorted. “Mor knows, but that’s all. I didn’t want to tell everyone if it was nothing.”

“And?” Cassian asked, tossing an arm behind his head. “Is it nothing?”

Amren took a moment to answer. She laid on the rug, petting Abraxos, who was in Heaven. “He’s special.”

Cassiain’s smile softened as he said, “Good.”

The two sat in silence for a moment - a comfortable silence. He and Amren had known each other since high school. They had spent many nights, up late talking about everything and nothing. After Cassian’s mother died his senior year, it was Amren who laid awake with him at night, sitting with him in complete silence, keeping him company so he didn’t feel so alone.

“What about you?” Amren asked. “Is there a woman?”

A woman with spiteful, gray-blue eyes popped into his mind, but he quickly shook the thought away. “Happily single.”

“Which means you have a lot of meaningless sex.”

Cassian laughed, voice light. “Sex isn’t such a bad thing.”

Amren was quiet for a moment before she said, “It’s better when you care about the person, though.”

Cassian stayed quiet. She wasn’t wrong, he knew as much. And he agreed with her. But, finding someone you cared about, who cared about you, too, was much easier said than done.

“Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find that soon, then,” he said, quietly.

Amren had closed her eyes, but she still said, “You will, Cassian. I know it.”

“Since when did you become such a romantic?” he laughed.

“Since Varian,” she confessed. “Since I grew older and realized there was more to companionship than pleasure.” 

Cassian sighed. “I’m too busy at work to find anything serious.”

“That’s a shit excuse and you know it,” Amren scoffed. “You spend half your time rebuilding motorcycles. That doesn’t affect your ability to find someone who cares for you, Cass. We’re inching up into our thirties, it’s time to settle down.”

Thirties.

Cassian groaned. He felt like, just yesterday, they were all seventeen without a care in the world. Then, suddenly, they were adults. He was twenty-seven. There was only so much time left. Life went by fast. Some days he felt like an adult, sure, but other days he felt like a kid playing dress up, pretending to have his shit together when he really didn’t. 

“This Varian guy,” Cassian began, “he treats you good, yeah?”

Amren nodded, and she smiled, and for once her smile didn’t make Cassian fear for his life. “Yeah, he does.”

“Good,” Cassian whispered, and the room fell quiet.

He closed his eyes, wondering what his neighbor across the hall was doing. He couldn’t read her, not one bit. Last night, she was biting his head off. And yet, this morning, she had thanked him. 

Maybe he would invite her over for a drink, one more time.

Really. How many times could she say no?

~~~~~

By the time Feyre dragged Rhysand into their apartment, he was finally starting to sober up. Considering he was already drunk as hell when he got to the bar, they all vowed to let him not drink anything else - besides water. It worked, for the most part, although Feyre caught him sneaking a shot out of the corner of her eye at one point.

The car ride was silent, and she only had to pull over once for him to puke on the side of the road.

The moment he walked through the front door, he was stumbling to the couch, eyes half-closed.

Feyre got him some ibuprofen and a lemon-lime Gatorade before plopping down next to him.

“Here,” she said.

He took them, gladly.

Then, he asked, “Are you going to yell at me?”

Feyre shrugged.

Rhysand sighed, closing his eyes. “I wish you would. Yelling is better than silence.”

“Yelling would imply that I’m mad,” Feyre said.

“Aren’t you?” he asked.

Feyre took a minute to consider. No, she wasn’t mad. She was confused. “I’m not mad, Rhys, I just….where the fuck were you all day? After last night…” Feyre’s words trailed off and she tried to convince herself that her eyes were growing blurry because she was tired.

Rhysand must have heard it in her voice because he opened his eyes and looked at her. And she knew the emotion that sparked in those beautiful, violet eyes: guilt. 

He hung his head as he said, “I know, I was an idiot today. But, I woke up and you were gone, and I panicked.” He met her gaze, his brows furrowed. “I thought that, if you were hauling ass so early in the goddamn morning that I did something wrong. So, I went for a run, somehow ended up on the other side of town at Cassian’s, and his go-to for everything is whiskey, so he gave me a shot, and that calmed me down, but then he kicked me out because I was being a fucking idiot, so I left, and I was coming back here….but then I passed a bar where everything on draft was half price, so I went in there….”

Feyre was trying not to laugh now, and Rhysand gave her an apologetic smile.

“Long story short,” he went on, “is that I got intolerably drunk and made a fool of myself.” 

“Mhmm,” Feyre grinned, wiping at her eyes. “Yeah, you did.” 

“Yeah,” Rhysand whispered, and placed his palm gently, lovingly, against her cheek. 

She leaned into his touch. 

“I was at Az’s this morning,” Feyre said. “Seeing Mor. Because I was panicking, too.”

Rhysand tensed.

“Not because I regret it,” Feyre added, quickly. Rhysand’s body relaxed. “We’ve just been friends for so long, Rhys, and you’re the most important person in my life. I thought that you might regret last night, or that we’d start...dating, or whatever, and I would mess it up. Then I got worried because I thought it may be too soon, after Tamlin, you know? I mean, I know our relationship was shit for a long time, but I only moved out a month ago. Then, after he knocked you on your ass last week-”

“I was unprepared,” Rhysand muttered.

Feyre huffed a laugh, fingers grazing over the fading bruise on his cheek. “That’s not the point.”

Rhysand nodded, smiling affectionately. He held Feyre’s hand in his as he said, “I won’t pretend that I know what’s going to happen with us, Feyre, but even if one of us messes this up somewhere along the line - which, it would definitely be me, I think I proved that today - I wanna do it. I wanna do this, us. I don’t regret last night. I could never regret it, Feyre, I’ve wanted to do that for a fucking long time, with you.”

Those tears returned to Feyre’s eyes, and she cursed herself for getting so emotional. But it was Rhysand, her Rhys, and she couldn’t help it. 

“I love you, Feyre,” he breathed. “I have always loved you.”

Feyre laughed, and she didn’t know why she was laughing, why she was crying while she was laughing. Confusion swept over Rhysand, but even he was unable to stop his smile as he watched her. 

“Why the fuck are you laughing?” he said, smiling brightly as he wiped away her tears.

“Because today was ridiculous,” she said, laughter still lacing her tone. “Rhys, I love you, too. You know I do.”

Her voice was quiet, but Rhysand clung to every word. 

“I’m sorry I was gone this morning,” she said, pushing his hair back, off his forehead. 

Rhysand chuckled. “I’m sorry I was getting drunk all day.”

Feyre laughed, and Rhysand leaned into kiss her, but she stopped him, fingers against his mouth. “Take a shower, brush your teeth, and meet me in my bed.”

Rhysand’s eyes lit up, and then he smiled, playfully. “I have a better idea.”

“Oh no,” Feyre said, shaking her head. “That smile - I don’t trust that smile.”

Rhysand stood up from the couch and pulled Feyre toward him, picking her up, tossing her over his shoulder.

Feyre yelped, and laughed. He was still in the clothes he wore running that morning. “You smell so gross!”

Rhysand’s body shook with laughter, and then he bit her ass, through her jeans, which was right by his face - which, Feyre was certain, was why he picked her up in such a position. 

Feyre shrieked and smacked him in the back as he brought her into the bathroom, started the shower, and stripped her down. 

~~~~~

Nesta couldn’t sleep.

Her father’s words replayed in her mind. They were always replaying in her mind. Everyone says you shouldn’t hate your blood, but Nesta loathed that man. 

Your mother…good thing she didn’t wait to see how you turned out.

Maybe he’d been right. Her mother would not be impressed with her. She would surely be ashamed, disappointed, embarrassed.

Maybe it was better that she was dead.

The thought shook through Nesta’s core, and she instantly felt guilty for thinking such a thing. Her mother had been a saint - a kind, beautiful woman. 

Nesta tried to convince herself to cry at her mother’s memory, but nothing came.

Emotionless.

Numb.

She wandered into her bathroom and flicked on the lights, cringing at her reflection. Her hair was a mess, her eyes glazed over from exhaustion and the bottle of chardonnay she had downed. She barely filled out the thin, black nightgown she had on. She’d barely eaten that day, barely eaten since the failed dinner the night before. Constant anxiety and crippling depression had that effect. 

She opened the top drawer and took out a bottle of painkillers, prescribed to Tomas after his shoulder surgery the year before. 

She took out two, took out her toothbrush from the glass toothbrush holder, and used the bottom of it to crush them up until they became a fine, clumpless powder. She found a thin comb and used the straight end to gather the remnants into as much of a straight line as she could. . 

She pulled back her hair and took one last look in the mirror.

No.

Her mother would not be proud.

Her father was definitely not proud, even though he was no better than she was.

Elain was worried.

Feyre ignored her.

Tomas, the dick that he was, even thought she wasn’t worth it. 

But none of it bothered her.

“Fuck,” she breathed, anger brewing. She just wanted to fucking feel something, anything, other than fucking anger, all the fucking time. “Fuck!”

She was tired of it.

Tired of the numbness.

Tired of being pissed the fuck off.

She hated it.

Hated what she had become, hated what her life had become. 

Her dad had been right.

He was always right.

Nesta clenched her teeth, closed her lips, closed one nostril with her middle finger, and breathed in the line with the other. 

Maybe now she would get some fucking sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

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Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[echo-three-one]

A Forgotten Memory

An Alex x OC fic

Link to chapter 1 (here)

Prev (XI - Alex)

Next (XIII - Alex)

Reviews Appreciated. Enjoy the fic!

XII - Samantha

She never expected Alex to handle the situation maturely. She expected him to badger him into going with him on that vacation. She wanted to go for closure's sake, but that would be too unfair for him. He wouldn't want that. Alex was a perfect boyfriend material for her, it's a shame he's a CIA agent.

She gave him a thumbs up as he raised an olive green shirt he tried on, honestly she thought he'd look good on any outfit. She opted on simple clothing as all of this were just temporary and Alex already made the call and would extract them to safety the day after tomorrow. A deep sigh as the idea that it's all over.

They spent the rest of the day at their room. The tv tuned in to local news, talking in a language she found incomprehensible. Alex seemed to be intently watching, guess he's the kind of person who's really into current events, translating headlines for her, which she found kinda sweet.

Samantha plopped her head on her mattress, they apparently rented separate beds, making her think this was another sign from whatever Fates were weaving their destinies, to which she almost want to believe in.

"Real for your thoughts?" Alex joked, offering her a coin from the country they're in. Samantha once again laughed at him for it, he really knows how to cheer her up.

"Say, if you weren't a "CIA Agent", what would you be?" she asked, mouthing the term CIA Agent.

Alex hummed as he thought of an answer.

"Dad always said I'm good with people. That's why he wanted me to pursue Sales or Marketing or any Business course." he chuckled at the idea.

"I bet you'd look good in a suit." Samantha chimed in, mentally fighting herself not to imagine him in one. She has to let go of him, for her own heart's sake.

"Yeah? I wore it a few times. I actually feel like a hundred grand when I wore it." he smiled as his eyes trailed off to memory lane. Samantha tried her best not to admire the scenery infront of her. This was harder than she thought.

"I wonder if our paths would cross if we were somebody else..." Samantha asked another follow up question.

"Maybe, I'll get sick and I'd be admitted to a hospital you're stationed to." He replied, amused at the story he's forged.

"Yeah, what are the odds." She dismissed, laughing at the absurdity of his imagination.

"I'm gonna miss you." He stated, completely off topic and completely serious. Samantha thought she already cried everything she could for today, but tears started welling once again. She felt that her movements were automatic, as she quickly dove to Alex's bed and tackled him with a hug. Alex didn't hesitate and quickly gave her a kiss. It felt hot, wet and longing. As if they were deprived from each other for a very long time, their tongues clashed inside their mouths, as they held their breaths neither one of them wanted to break free from each other.

Their hands started grazing against each other, desperately longing for each others touch, his rough palm against her smooth thigh. Each slide sent shivers throughout her whole body. She convinced herself that this could help her move on, even though she believed it would just worsen their case, but she was only human and this what what she yearned for ever since last night. She was willing to add one last memory of him, one she convinced herself to be the final one.

Alex was very responsive to her, he couldn't deny that he liked where this was going. Besides, he was the one who bargained her for an extension. He lied down and let her take the lead, following what she wanted to happen and letting her take over. Following every order she whispers without hesitation. He understands what she felt and he feels the same. They'll be away from each other in two days, it's only reasonable to make these count.

###

Samantha traced Alex's cheek with her index finger, feeling the thick beard brush against it as she slides it up his hair, spreading her palm and feeling his head with it. She never felt this sexually contented in quite a while, a feeling she's deprived of after the loss of her long term boyfriend. Her touch seemed to startle him as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled, letting out a sexy groan and reaching for her. Samantha shifted her position so Alex could spoon her from behind, letting his warm body heat up her naked back. She let out a contented sigh and slowly urged herself to sleep.

~

The sound of children lauging and running outside the streets woke Samantha up, with a quick glance she found out that Alex was nowhere to be found. She hastily put on her clothes and looked at the window. A sigh of relief escaped her nostrils when she found him playing with the children. It was a heartwarming view, adding fuel to the flame labeled "My love for this Man", a flame slowly being extinguished by time. The kids stopped playing and started pointing out to the sky, waving like excited people when Titanic left the dock. She saw Alex turn to her and gave her a sad frown.

"I thought it was tomorrow." Samantha asked as soon as Alex entered the room, quickly picking up the little things they owned.

"I'm also worried why we got extracted earlier." Alex replied, holding her shoulders and staring at her. He's CIA but Samantha could actuly feel the sadness in his aura, despite him good at concealing emotion.

Samantha followed as they make their way to the aircraft.

"Why is it a day earlier?" She heard Alex yell as the loud whirring of the propeller filled the area.

"It's secret orders. The Head believes that the assumption that someone within the CIA is in kahoots with Nero is still in play." the pilot replied. Alex tapped his shoulder and escorted her to the plane. She couldn't believe it, but she's flying home. A plethora of mixed emotions overwhelmed her as they slowly ascended from the little town which housed them for a day, the view of it getting smaller and smaller as they flew farther away back home.

As soon as they descended and stepped out of the plane, she quickly pulled Alex for one last message. He's going to be busy now as she overheard the mole they're trying to catch.

"Hey. Guess I brought you home safe, after all." He laughs, tapping her shoulder.

"Yeah. You're a man of your word after all." She smiled and hugged him tight, not minding the people around them. Then from the corner of her eye, a tall intimidating figure stood. It was her father.

"I guess this is goodbye." She whispered.

"We could still talk after the briefing." Alex countered, still hopeful.

"My Dad's here. He's going to send me away. Thanks Alex... For everything... I'm sorry I can't be there for you..." she sobbed.

"I fully understand, Samantha. You're a memory worth treasuring. Heck, maybe when I retire, you're still ummm available.. so why not?" he joked. A joke he wished would be half true.

"Don't get your hopes too high, Alex. I don't want to live waiting for uncertainty. I'm done with that." She smiled and bid him one last goodbye. Tears were shed and hearts were broken... but life must continue to go on and experiences will then become teachers for the future. Samantha thought, the idea of moving on from two men in a span of a month was tiresome and heart aching, but she believed that she's strong enough to face it all in due time.

Alex walked away to the briefing room not leaving his eye on her, Samantha did the same as she walked to his father. They're both going to miss each other a LOT.

"My beautiful Sammy! You're safe!" Richard Coleman, her father, hugged her dearly. She could feel his worry fade away the moment he saw her in one piece.

"Dad." she cried.

"I'm sorry I brought you in this mess... I tried to make your life normal but-" the head apologized and Samantha cut him off.

"It's okay Dad. I could handle the experience. Besides, the CIA did a good job protecting me. And that's on you, right?" She laughed, trying to hide the pain.

"I see you've acquainted yourself to my general duties." he replied.

"Yeah. A little bit."

"I've come to make amends, as a father and as the Head of National Defense." The tone shifted seriously, Samantha's heart raced at what's going to happen next.

~

"MK Ultra's successful memory alteration serum." The doctor proudly said infront of the head of defense and his daughter.

"Directly injected to the subject along with a narration of a certain script, made by our scriptwriters, we are able to implant, alter or delete selected memories from our patient." he added. Samantha shuddered at the idea, it's somehow cruel and inhumane but also what she might need to live a normal life.

"This means we could remove her memories of the IP address and everything that's happened to her in the past weeks?" Richard queried.

"Yes, we could make it look like she had a vacation somewhere." the scientist replied.

"She has to make a detail of events that we could forge. If she cooperates, this will be a 100% success." The scientist supplemented once again.

"So, what do you say, Sammy? Is this enough for you to start a normal life?" Richard asked, Samantha was overwhelmed at the decision she's going to make. It was too hard for her to let go of Alex's memories, but then again... they weren't meant to end up together anyway. A huge price to pay for a shot at a new life.

"Before I go, can I atleast have one last request?"

She spoke, determination filled her voice.

"Sure, what is it?" Richard agreed.

"A pen and paper." She said, tears falling out of her eyes.