#you see sometimes a media will tell me “this film is made of three - or actually four - part all moving together”

[mikimeiko]

RISE ROAR REVOLT

RRR (2022)

(the stoRy - the fiRe - the wateR - Rise Roar Revolt)

[hvlplvss]

| all webbed up

| colby brock x reader x sam golbach

summary: sam and colby’s annual halloween party commences. they decided to dress matching once again; spiderman and venom spiderman. and a certain girl has a thing for the spider boys.

warnings: mean!dom!colby, soft!dom!sam, degrading, praise, oral (m and f receiving), creampie,

authors note: this is not edited at all. i just wanted to get this out to you guys!! hope you enjoy!!

word count: 3.7k

the annual sam and colby halloween party was something you’d always look forward to. you’d been invited for the past five years, ever since your friendship began with the two boys.

but y/n couldn’t help herself. she secretly liked the boys. she had for a while now, however she never confessed her feelings. she didn’t even want to confront them to herself.

she knew they wouldn’t like her back. why would two of the biggest upcoming youtubers like her back.

y/n had begun editing the boys’ videos three years ago, once she finished off school. she’d studied media and film, giving her knowledge about everything. sam and colby had saw how well the girl did in her studies and her work and immediately asked her to help edit their videos as they were beginning to have tight schedules.

y/n of course agreed. this guaranteed more time with the boys. which it did. after a few months of working with them, they offered her a room at their house, which she also agreed to obviously.

as time progressed, y/n sometimes thought that the boys felt something for her, but she’d then convince herself she was being delusional. however, her bestfriend, lucia, would feed into the delusion and tell her that ‘they look at you as if they wanna fuck you’.

but that’s what bestfriends do. they won’t turn to you and tell you the truth if you really like someone so much. well lucia wouldn’t.

there was a knock at y/n’s bedroom door, she called out a small ‘come in’. colby walked into the room, his eyes immediately noticing her bare legs. y/n sporting an xplr hoodie, which was yet to be released, and which also belonged to sam.

colby shook his head and then looked at her face, “you hungry? sam said about getting take out,” colby asked.

“uhh, yeah. i just need to finish editing,” y/n spoke, quickly turning back to the laptop and pressing a few keys and the mouse.

colby moved towards her bed, coming to lay next to her. as he collapsed onto her bed, he let his head rest against y/n’s shoulder.

“this shit is freaky,” y/n looked to colby, “don’t get how you guys do it constantly,”

colby rolled his eyes playfully, “come on, you did that one video with us,” colby answered.

y/n smiled at the memory, but her face then contorted into embarrassment, “yeah and i literally cried, colby,”

he removed his head from y/n’s shoulder to look at her, “i don’t blame you! you got targeted the entire night. some of the things you faced had never happened to be and sam!” he comforted her, “what if we invited you again, somewhere that’s not as haunted or dangerous? you’d have me and sam, and i could invite a few others so it’s like a group video?”

y/n considered this for a moment, “maybe,” she said uncertainly, “i’ll see how i feel in the future,”

the blond boy then burst through the door, “what you guys up to?”

colby shook his head, “nothing. just tryna get y/n to get in a future video,”

“you should y/n! everyone loved you on the channel, and we loved having you in the video,” sam added.

“you’re distracting me! i’m trying to edit your video!” y/n smiled, pushing colby back.

sam came and sat next to her, on the other side to where colby was sat. the boys sat in silence, while y/n edited the video.

they’d never really understood how she did it. they understood little things and they could probably survive without her. but y/n understood it to another level. she understood what attracted viewers, what made the video look better and she knew secret little tips and tricks to make the video the best thing.

“i don’t know how you even remember all this,” sam spoke up, said boy standing up and walking to the door, “i’m gonna go order take out now. the usual?” he asked. colby nodded looking at sam, and y/n nodded without looking away from the laptop, sam disappears into the hallway.

colby watched for another minute, before speaking “right i’ll leave you to it,” colby pressed a kiss into the side of her head, “our smart girl,” he muttered, moving off the bed and out the door. y/n couldn’t hide or stop the redness that came to her face. ‘our’. colby had called her ‘our smart girl’. the praise had gotten to her. colby knew it would. he’d picked up on how she reacts to things not that long ago, he of course informed sam. and now they’d started using it to their advantages, just like now.

y/n had told the boys that she would head over to lucia’s to get ready for the halloween party. this was a yearly thing that happened. all because sam and colby liked to surprise y/n with their costume and vice versa.

the two girls had gone somewhat matching. cat woman and harley quinn. not matching exactly, but from the same company. lucia had gone with harley and y/n had chosen cat woman. and if she had to be honest, she felt sexy.

a tight black latex suit covered her body, high black stilettos on her feet, a black cat mask over her eyes and her hand held a whip. y/n’s lips were accentuated with red lipstick, standing out against the dark latex. eventually y/n gave up with holding the whip, she decided it was too much and she’d end up losing it anyways.

“come on, lucia,” y/n pleaded, “we’re gonna be late!”

lucia rolled her eyes, “there’s not even a certain time we have to be there. you just wanna go and see your boyfriends!”

y/n groaned at her words. “firstly, they’re not my boyfriends, they’re my bestfriends and my bosses. secondly i want to go now, because i fucking love halloween! plus, sam and colby throw the best parties ever!”

lucia stood up walking over to her closet to pick out her shoes, which she bought specially for this occasion. “fine, you go get in the car! i’ll be there in a second,” she replied, giving into y/n’s desperation to leave.

“thank you!” y/n grinned, kissing her bestfriends cheek and trying her best to run to the car with her heels on.

she jumped in the passenger seat of lucia’s car and waited. she thought about sam and colby immediately. she knew they’d look good tonight, no matter what they wore. her thoughts were interrupted with her phone ringing. she looked at the contact who called ‘sam🤍’. her phone read. she smiled at the name, admiring the picture of her and sam that came up. it was a photo from two years ago; a photo of sam kissing y/n’s cheek.

she then realised she still hadn’t answered the call, so she clicked on the green answer button and put the phone up to her ear. “hey sam!”

“hey y/n! uh- how long till you’re here?”

“i mean, im in the car waiting, but lucia’s is just getting her shoes on, then we’ll be over,”

“okay great. quite a lot of people have already arrived, but we’ll come look for you when you get here,”

there was some rustling on the other end of the phone. “hey y/n!” colby’s voice boomed through the phone.

“hey colbs,”

“how’s your costume?”

“yeah, pretty good actually. think it’ll beat yours this year,”

“is that so? well, your costume won’t be on for very long, anyways,”

what has he just said. y/n’s eyes widened and she bit her lip trying to hide her growing smile. lucia opened the drivers seat door, knocking y/n out of her thoughts of what colby had just said.

“alright, lucia’s just got in the car! i’ll see you guys soon!”

the boys said bye and y/n ended the call. “speaking to the boyfriends are we?” lucia smirked, pulling out of her driveway.

y/n rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that came across her face, “they’re not my boyfriends, once again, lucia!” y/n thought about it for a moment, should she tell lucia what colby just said.

“what you thinking about?” lucia asked.

“i-uh, well, when they just rang me, i mean it was a pretty normal call. then, colby started speaking and he made like a really flirty forward comment, and it seemed like he meant it in that way…” y/n explained with a confused tone.

“what did he say?”

“he said ‘your costume won’t be on for long, anyways’. so i took that as we’ll be taking your costume off soon,” y/n replied.

lucia’s giggled at what her friend had told her, “someone is getting fucked tonight!” she cheered, “by the two guys she in love with!”

“shut up lucia, im not okay! they’re probably just messing around, you know them,” she denied.

the girls walked through the door of the house, which was now fully decorated and it looked amazing. y/n had done quite a bit of it, but sam and colby and insisted on doing the rest.

lucia grabbed onto y/n’s arm and led her to the kitchen where there was an array of alcoholic drinks on the island in the middle. lucia took two solo cups and filled it with things that y/n didn’t even pay attention to, due to the fact she was looking for the two boys. “here you go, miss y/l/n,” lucia said, handing over a cup, “wait- what would your last name be if you guys got married. would you be a y/n brock? or a y/n golbach? or would you go double and do y/n brock gol-”

sam and colby appear behind y/n, “what you saying about us there, lucia?” sam asked jokingly.

y/n swings around to face them, noticing them costumes. how convenient. cat woman and spiderman. two spiderman’s to be exact. neither of them were wearing a mask, but they had the full body suit on.

colby had gone with the black version of spiderman. the venom spiderman, obviously. black being his colour. and be looked good, but he knew that. the black bodysuit hugged his abdomen and chest tightly, showing off what was hidden underneath, which y/n craved to get her hands on.

and then sam. the classic spiderman, the costume was popular, but no one could pull it off better than sam. he looked incredible. just like colby, the bodysuit wrapped around him perfectly, accentuating his body.

sam and colby eyed y/n up and down when she turned to face them, smirks rushing to their faces. “she was saying, none of your business,” y/n smiled sarcastically.

“ouch,” sam replied, shaking his head with a smile.

without y/n knowing, lucia had ran off, leaving her with sam and colby, who gave her a nod, too which y/n didn’t even pick up on.

“so, spiderman and spiderman. i’m a little underwhelmed, was expecting something way better,” she shrugged, placing her hand onto colby’s chest to feel the costume.

“someone’s feeling a bit mean?” colby asked with a cocky smile.

“not mean, truthful,”

“mhmm. well, i could say the same about yours y/n. think i’ve seen another cat woman here already,” sam spoke.

“but it’s okay, you’re the only one with our attention,” colby finished. slapping his arm on sam’s back and walking away with him, leaving y/n there, with furrowed eyebrows.

y/n thought she was making it up, or she was thinking too much into it. being delusional, once again.

y/n poured herself another drink, not noticing the oncoming presence. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing on your own, huh?” a deep voice spoke behind her. she perked an eyebrow and turned, coming face to face with a man she didn’t recognise. “i’m daniel,” he informed.

y/n cringed. she already had her eyes on two boys in particular. and daniel seemed to be pretty drunk already so she knew he’d be pushy, so she was straightforward, “and i’m not interested,” she thinned her lips, downing her drink and then walking away.

she wanted to go find lucia, so she pushed through the crowd of people who had made their way onto the makeshift ‘dance floor’, but a hand grabbed onto her wrist pulling her back.

“who was that?” it was sam.

y/n furrowed her eyebrows. how did he even see her? him and colby had left, there’s no way we could have seen her and daniel. “i don’t know. he just started talking to me,” y/n spoke truthfully.

sam’s hands moved down to y/n’s hips, who looked down, screaming internally at the action. “did you tell him to leave you alone?” sam asked, leaning into her ear and speaking lowly, keeping his hands on the nervous girls hips. she nodded quickly, “good girl,” sam moved his right hand up to the back of y/n’s head, holding her. he brought his hips forwards against y/n’s hips, who couldn’t even believe what was going on.

after a minute or so, y/n could feel another pair of hands join her hips, just a little above sam’s. sam leant into y/n’s ear, “be good for colby while i’m gone,” he spoke. sam’s right hand left one tight squeeze on y/n’s hip before leaving her hip. she watched the blond boy disappear into the sea of people.

that’s when she felt colby pull on her hips to press her bum into his cock, which was already slightly hard. he pressed his head into the crook of her neck, then eventually leaving open wet kisses on her neck. y/n closing her eyes and relishing in the moment, was turned around by colby, who looked at her with a dark stare. y/n’s arm locked around colby’s neck.

before y/n could even think about it, colby’s lips were on hers. kissing roughly and messily. there was a clash of teeth and every so often colby would bite on her lip, cause her to whine, which resulted in colby doing it a few more times for a reaction. colby’s hands moved further down her back, reaching and grabbing at her ass.

colby pulled his lips away from y/n’s, “let’s go somewhere else,” he said quietly, y/n’s stomach doing flips.

colby led y/n up the stairs and into her room, seen as it was the closet one to the stairs. as colby opened the door, y/n saw sam sat on her bed. “took you long enough. thought you’d ditched,” sam began.

“no, i’d never. someone just couldn’t keep their hands off,” colby replied, shutting the door behind me.

y/n looked between the two boys, who now stood in front of her. “i’m so confused, guys. what’s going on?” y/n asked, her brows furrowed.

“oh come on y/n. you’re not that stupid. thought you were our smart girl,” responded sam.

“we’ve seen you looking at us. we know all about your dirty secret,” colby said lowly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “but that’s okay y/n. we think the same about you. isn’t that right, sam?”

he nodded in response stepping forward towards y/n, who was now corned by the two boys. “just wanna make you feel good, that’s all baby. can we do that?” sam asked.

y/n nodded shyly. sam immediately went in to kiss y/n, shocking her at first, but then melting into the kiss. his kiss was different to colby’s. colby was more needy, and rough when he kissed, he would bite on her lip as well. but sam’s kiss was gentler. he didn’t bite on her lip, or kiss her roughly. but they were both amazing either way.

y/n felt colby’s lips on her neck, sucking purple bruises into her skin. he moved her hair out of the way, gaining him more and more access.

sam pulled away from the kiss, “go get on the bed, okay?” y/n nodded, moving over to the bed and sitting on her knees, looking over to the boys who whispered to one another quietly.

the two boys finished speaking and walked over to stand in front of y/n. “you gonna be good for us? hm?” colby asked. y/n nodded, looking up at the two. after a few seconds, colby had removed the black suit, showing his boxers, which had a clear outline of his cock.

“go on, make yourself useful,” colby said. y/n reached for the waist band of his boxers, pulling them down. desperately, she reached her hand forward, gripping onto him in her hand, eliciting a groan from colby. y/n stroked him for a minute, before colby spoke harshly, “come on whore, suck my cock,”

y/n squeezed her thighs together, obeying what colby had said. she leant forward and wrapped her lips around his tip, causing his head to tilt back. y/n moved her head forward, letting his cock slide down her throat.

his hands found their way into her hair, gripping her roots tightly, using them to pull her down and back off his cock. he pulled her off, a string of saliva connecting from her lips to his cock. “be good to sam, yeah?”

“use your words, sweetheart,” sam soothed softly, placing his hand in her hair and gently brushing it out her face.

“wanna make you feel good sam,”

“such a good girl, aren’t you?” sam cooed.

sam pulled down his own boxers, letting y/n have a moment to catch her breath.

there was a clear difference in the way sam and colby acted in the bedroom. colby was assertive, mean, rough and straightforward. sam was more caring, sweet and slower with what he did and said. but they both complimented each other in this situation.

y/n licked up sam’s length, taking him into her mouth, “feels so good, baby. so perfect,”

colby had walked around the back of the bed, so he was now behind y/n. he grabbed her by her hair and pulled her off of sam, a whine escaping her lips. colby pushed y/n onto her elbows. “carry on, who’re. take care of sam,” colby instructed. y/n complied, going back to sucking sam’s cock.

colby reached for the zip on y/n’s latex suit, “as much as i love this, it’s gotta go,” colby uttered. he pulled the zip down, slipping the latex off of y/n.

she wore no underwear, nor bra underneath the suit. “such a desperate whore. just wanted to be fucked, isn’t that right?”

“don’t be mean, colby. she’s just needy,” sam countered, stroking y/n’s hair softly.

colby moved down the bed so he was now face to face with her pussy. “so fucking wet,”

he leant in, licking a stripe up her slit, causing her to moan out on sam’s dick. “that feel good, baby?” sam asked, y/n’s head nodding frantically.

colby moved his head further down, sucking harshly on her clit, causing y/n to writhe in pleasure, moaning around sam’s cock still.

colby brought two of his fingers up to y/n’s entrance, slowly pushing his fingers in. he started off with a slow torturous pace, y/n clenching around his fingers. he took note of this, increasing the pace of his fingers and his tongue, which flicked across her clit.

she could feel her release nearing, colby removed his mouth but kept his fingers pushing in at a relentless pace, “you gonna cum?”

sam removed y/n’s mouth from around his cock, letting her breath and answer colby. “yes,” she moaned, “please let me cum,” she begged.

“i don’t know about that. what do you think, sam?”

sam looked down at y/n. she was looking up at him, begging him to say yes, a blissed out look on her face. “i think she can. she’s been so good for us, haven’t you y/n?”

she nodded, “so good for you,”

“cum. fucking cum on my fingers, whore,” colby said, before diving back in, his tounge resuming to flicking back at her clit.

it didn’t take long for y/n to come undone on his fingers, moaning out and her eyes closing. colby slowed down his fingers, easing out of her. “you gotta have a go with her pussy, it’s fucking amazing,” colby told sam, speaking about y/n to him as though she wasn’t there.

the boys had swapped places now, colby stood in front, ushering her mouth back on his cock. rushing in to put his hands in her hair and pulling her down, causing her to gag around him. sam lined his cock up with her pussy, slowly pushing in, causing him to groan. y/n moaned at the feeling, looking up to colby, who’s head was back and his bottom lip in between his teeth.

as sam bottomed out in y/n. he gave her a few seconds to adjust. she clenched around him, letting him know he could move. sam held tightly onto her hips, pulling out of her and then slamming back into her. y/n’s mouth came off of colby’s cock, moaning out. but colby immediately came back in and put her mouth back around him.

they both thrusted roughly, synchronising their thrusts. y/n moaned out around colby cock, closing her eyes. “keep them open, whore,” colby pulled back on her hair, causing her to whine. “stupid whore, can’t even keep her eyes open,”

sam’s thrust began becoming sloppy, puffing into her. “gonna cum,” sam groaned, “cum with me, y/n,”

he reached his hand around to her clit, rubbing harsh circles. “cum for us, y/n,”she immediately let go, her orgasm washing over her. clenching around sam, as he followed suit. cumming deep inside her.

colby sped his thrusts up, stopped deep in her throat, releasing his cum down her throat.

sam pulled out of y/n, pulling his boxers back up. he walked around to y/n, crouching at her face level, “you okay?” he asked gently.

“i’m okay,” she nodded with a smile.

colby had walked away to pull his boxers back on and also grab a t-shirt for y/n, which actually turned out to be one of his own shirts, which she’d stolen.

“sit up angel,” y/n complied, putting her arms through the t-shirt, colby leaning in to kiss her forehead.

the boys sat opposite y/n on the bed, “so what happens now,” she giggled, a small smile on all their faces.

sam shrugged, “we’ll have to see about that. but something will happen soon. i promise,” he hinted, “but for now, we have a party to get to,”

y/n pouted, “but i just wanna stay here with my favourite boys,”

sam nodded, “i’ll go clear everyone out,” he left the bed and went to grab a t-shirt and shorts, which were his, but he’d given them to y/n. he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

colby scooted up the bed, opening his arms for y/n. who accepted with a big smile on her face.

“y’know, i’ve always had a thing for spiderman,”

[chelleztjs18]

The Scene (E.O)

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!ActressReader ; Rachel McAdams, Benedict Cumberbatch (Platonic)

Summary: Something unexpected happened while you were filming a movie with Lizzie which leads more things out of it.

Warning: None. Just some fluff.

A/n: Hello! I'm back. This fic is from two request that I combined together. This is a made up Kamar Taj scene is being filmed with Rachel McAdams and Benedict Cumberbatch in it. I apologize in advance for any inaccuracies in the scene and golden globes part. Happy reading!

Here are the requests for this fic:

Main Masterlist

What’s better than playing a superhero role in the movie industry? Well, nothing can top the joy and the fun of filming in one of the Marvel movies with your beloved wife, Elizabeth Olsen. You and Lizzie have been married for five months now. It was a very small intimate wedding with family and close friends, just like how you and Lizzie wanted. There was no media nor paparazzi craziness. Both of you try to keep your relationships for two years and the wedding under the radar to enjoy and cherish each other more privately in between busy schedules.

“You did a great job, Lizzie. I can’t believe that you did that scene in one shot. That was pretty hard to do with all the wires and stuff.” Benedict compliments her as he takes a seat next to her, taking a break.

“Aww thanks, Ben. I was actually nervous. You know me with heights, never a fan of it.” Lizzie lets out her little laugh.

“Oh yeah, I see what you mean. They pull you up pretty high.I bet it can be uncomfortable sometimes, especially with your Scarlet Witch costume right now.” The Wizard cast responds.

“Sometimes but I love this costume. So, I won’t complain.” She laughs again after trying to let out a joke.

Lizzie and Benedict have a great time talking for a little while until she sees something that makes her stomach turn. Anger thundered through her. Her heart aches and she crumbles inside. All emotions mix up in a split second. Lizzie stands up furiously. She can’t believe what she just saw. Seeing Rachel kiss your lips and you don’t even do anything to avoid it, makes her want to get to you right away.

“Liz? Are you okay?” The British man asks confusedly after taking notice of Lizzie's displeased facial expression.

“Yeah. Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” That was all Lizzie said shortly before she rushed her steps with her full Wanda’s costume and barged into the set where you and Rachel are.

“What’s going on here?” Lizzie asks in such anger. You and Rachel look at Lizzie in surprise that neither of you say anything for a few seconds.

The silence from the both of you upset Lizzie even more. Her glossy hurtful eyes look at you in disappointment as she continues telling you how she feels in gritted teeth slowly walking closer to you and Rachel. “After everything we’ve been through, this is what I get in return? Was it a game for you? And to think I would go through the ends of the world for you. Just explain to me why?!” she demands. Her voice gets shaky.

Rachel slowly moves to get to behind you, trying not to get involved between you and Lizzie. Noticing what Rachel is doing, you naturally take a stand in front of her. You were about to tackle everything she said but she didn’t let you. “How could you do this to me?” She added as she spread her palms then clenched them to fists with fury.

Then all of sudden, a familiar voice struck Lizzie’s attention. “Cut! That surprisingly fits perfectly!”

Lizzie quickly turns her head to where the voice came from. She came to realize what was actually going on. She looks at you, Rachel and surroundings. The filming crews are looking at the three of you. Sam, the director smiles satisfiedly.

Her cheeks slowly turn crimson. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I–I–I didn’t know that you were filming a scene. Oh my gosh.” She covers her face with her hands for a few seconds and then uncover it. She tries to laugh her embarrassment off. Her cheeks feel warmer from blushing.

“It’s okay but yes, love. I was filming a scene with Rachel.” You replied.

“I’m sorry, Lizzie. It was totally a professional kiss.” Rachel explains in a light joking tone to make your wife feel better.

“No. No, you are totally fine. I’m sorry. I-I just didn’t know that there’s a kissing scene.” Everybody in the room heard what she just said in awe.

“Yes, babe. I told you about it the other night, remember?” you explain yourself as you grab both of her hands to give her the reassurance and comfort she needs. Lizzie tries to recall. “Oooohh yeah. Gosh, I was probably distracted when I was cooking dinner. So embarass–”

You and Lizzie notice that Sam came to talk.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. I totally forgot that there was a kissing scene and I got—” Lizzie awkwardly apologizes but Sam finishes her sentence.

“Jealous? First of all, it was cute. Second of all, it was a brilliant spontaneous scene! I love it. You should see your facial expression on the whole thing.”

“Oh yeah, I could see that, Sam. I thought the Scarlet Witch existed for real for that whole minute.” you joke more as you gently squeeze her hand as your way to let her know that you are with her to comfort her.

“Yeah, but I apologize for ruining the scene.”

“Oh no, you didn’t at all, Lizzie. As a matter of fact, I will change the script and we will use it in the movie. We just need to add some visual effects in it and it’s good to go.” Sam lays out his idea and plan in a thrill.

Hearing his plan, Lizzie’s face slowly shows some relief. “Oh, uh– wow. Okay.” The four of you laugh. “Okay, then. Let’s take a lunch break and we’ll continue in an hour?” Sam announced.

Everybody walks away to take their break but you grab Lizzie’s hand before she turns around. “Feel better, babe?” you try to make sure.

“It was so embarrassing but yes, I feel better.” She smiles then laughs.

“No, I meant that the kiss was just one of the scenes.”

“Uh-y-yes.” She admits and covers her face once again. You pull her hands away and look at her lovingly.

“I would never do that to you nor hurt you like that. I’m all yours I love you.” You kiss her forehead then look at her again.

“Aw. I love you too, y/n. Thank you.”

“You were cute and sexy at the same time when you get jealous though.” You tease her and both of you laugh.

“Oh yeah? Well, you better watch out.” She teases you back.

“Oh, really?” your lips form a teasing smirk. She playfully hits your arm and rolls her eyes.

“You are silly. Let’s go have lunch babe. I’m hungry after all that jealousy I felt.” she grabs your hand and walks with you.

“You are cute.” you follow where Lizzie leads you.

_____

It has been two weeks since the latest Marvel movie came out. It was a hit. People love you and Lizzie in it. You are happy with how positive the public's reaction was. There was a rumor going around that Lizzie improvised on the jealous Scarlet Witch scene after your character kisses Rachel’s. Neither you, Lizzie nor other casts know how the words spread. Lizzie is happy with the fact that people love your acting in the movies. That’s all that matters to her.

Today, you, Lizzie, Rachel and Benedict are invited to the Jimmy Fallon show to talk about the viral movie. Before you got to the location, both you and Lizzie had a talk and decided to be ready if Jimmy asked about your love life. You both think it’s time to let the cats out of the bag about your relationship.

“Welcome everybody! Wow, I feel so safe right now with some of the Marvel superheroes around us.” said the host followed by the cheer and applause from the thrilled audiences.

“Thank you for having us, Jimmy. So good to be back here.” Lizzie expresses her gratitude from where she sits next to the beautiful older actress, Rachel. You adore her beauty from the seat across from her as the dark haired actor next to you chimes in.

Everything went well and it was really fun for everybody. All the casts get their questions.The studio is filled with laughter and excitement.

“Okay, Y/n Y/LN. It’s your turn right now for questions.” Jimmy slightly turns his head to you.

“Oh lord.” you joke as you pretend to look nervous. The audiences and Jimmy laugh at your antics. “I love your character. You have a cool super power in it and as you know a lot of fans are simping your character with the one and only Scarlet Witch.” The crowd can’t hold back themselves with such thrill as soon as Jimmy mentioned the both of you.

You hear Lizzie’s lovely laugh and you glanced at her to see her smile.

“Ah yes, yes. I heard about it.” you respond as you shift the way you sit a little and smile.

“Let’s just go straight to everybody’s favorite scene after you kiss Rachel’s character.” Benedict and Rachel playfully do a hand gesture as if they are locking their mouth. Rachel even throws the imaginary key of the lock to you.

“What? What is it? Are we missing something?” puzzled with what he just saw, Jimmy asked. His gaze bouncing back and forth between the four of you.

“Oh no. Nothing. Nothing.” Benedict denies the question and laughs. Jimmy then looks at Rachel, hoping he will get an answer and Rachel pretends jokingly to look around with a smile.

“Ah, I see. We’ll get back to you two later.” Jimmy adds.

“So, back to you, Y/n.” Jimmy looks at you and with that he interviews you some questions regarding the movie. Three questions and some jokes later, you thought he was done asking you but you were wrong.

“As the newcomer in MCU, fans are dying to know about your current love —” Jimmy was interrupted by the cheering women fans in the studio. He smiles as he slightly lifts up his hand asking for some silence to continue.

You laugh as your cheek blush and you tap your hands gently multiple times on your thighs nervously. You and Lizzie knew sooner or later that this question would come.

“Are you seeing someone now?”

“As in dating or hallucinating?” Once more you joke around and everybody instantly laughs.

“Good one. Good one. Nice try on stalling to answer the question.” Jimmy responds humorously in between laughs.

You sneaked another quick glance to Lizzie then looked at Jimmy. “Well, I’m taken, married actually.” you finally answered and you subtly show the wedding ring on your ring finger and awkwardly laugh.

“Wait.. Wait.. Wait.. What?? When did this all happen? Last time you were here, you were single.” Jimmy exclaimed.

“Yes I was but now I’m happily married.” The audiences are in awe with your answer.

“Okay, okay. Congratulations! Wow. What an exciting surprise. Is your husband from the movie industry as well?” Jimmy asks curiously.

“Wife.” You corrected it with an excited smile. Surely, Jimmy looks surprised yet excited for you. A huge cloud of curiosity flows over Jimmy and all of the audiences instantly.

“Awww! Who is this lucky woman?” Jimmy asks and shortly after people start to chant “Who is she? Who is she?”

The four of you laugh. Rachel and Benedict try to keep their expression that they know the truth. Nobody notices that Lizzie looks at you and gives you a subtle small wink and you take that as your cue that it’s time to let people know.

“Okay. Okay. My wife is a very lovely woman. She is the sweetest so I’m the lucky one. We have been friends since the first time I came to this industry. She helps me and teaches what she knows in acting.”

“Oh?! So she is an actress?” Jimmy tries harder to dig more.

“Yes she is. Lizzie and I have been married for five months now.” In a split second, everybody in their seats cheers, applauses and goes crazy.

“Oh my god! I knew it! I knew it!” Jimmy exclaimed with a huge smile, raising his fists as if he just won a jackpot.

A few minutes later silence slowly covers up the cheerings.

“Okay, since the tea has been spilled, Lizzie, let’s switch seats so you can sit next to your wife.” Benedict stands up and gives up his seat to Lizzie. Everybody looks at you and Lizzie in awe as soon as she sits next to you and holds your hands.

Jimmy quickly connects the dots and asks one unexpected question.

“Wait, so does it mean that the improvised jealous Scarlet Witch was actually real?” An image of the scene shows up on the giant screen as Jimmy’s hand points at it. “I meant Wanda’s expression looks so real that I can even feel it when I watch it. Were you really jealous, Elizabeth?” he continues.

“Uh oh.” Benedict's short remark lures some laugh from you and Lizzie.

“Tell him, Lizzie.” Rachel joins in jokingly.

Lizzie laughs awkwardly, blush creeps up on her cheeks. “Oh my gosh. This was embarrassing. So, in my defense, I didn’t know— well actually I forgot that there was a kissing scene between Y/n and Rachel. I was just taking a break and chilling with Benedict then I saw them kissing, I didn’t know they were filming. So yeah and then that happened. Eeeeend scene.” Lizzie explained.

Jimmy lets out a pretend gasp and looks at Benedicts. “Why didn’t you stop her?” Everybody laughs.

“Oh I was just so puzzled because she just suddenly stood up, excused herself and told me she would be right back. I tried to stop her, I wish I had the time stone with me at that time.” The  dark haired man responded with some laughs.

“Rachel, you were hiding behind Y/n’s back.” Jimmy examines the giant picture.

“Yes, yes I was. To be honest, I was so bamboozled and my mind tried to think if Lizzie was really mad with me because I don’t want her to be mad at me or if it was just Wanda’s part in the scene. My mind starts to question in those short minutes if Wanda will push me with her wiggly woo in it because I have all the wire around me and I wasn’t ready if they were gonna do a sudden pull on me with them.” Rachel smiles at Lizzie and you.

Jimmy nods at Rachel’s answer then looks at you. “I was as confused as Rachel was but I tried to calm her down because I knew it was all a misunderstanding. Lizzie never really shows jealousy but I’m not gonna lie she actually looked so cute and adorable.”  You look at her in adoration and rub your thumb in the back of her hand. Lizzie gives you a smile back.

“Wow, I never knew behind that iconic scene was actually a funny moment. So Sam, the director, decided to use that scene for the movie?” Jimmy lets out his thoughts.

“Yes, he did.” Another shy laugh followed Lizzie’s answer. With that, the show continues with a little more questions and everything goes well.

You and Lizzie are happy with people’s positive reaction at the show about your relationship until some comments you read on social media a few days after.

_____

You and Lizzie are having a relaxing week before the Golden Globe award event this weekend. You are sitting in the backyard scrolling on the internet while Lizzie is doing her gardening vlog.

“Hi babe. What you doin’ there?” Lizzie asks as she grabs a glass of iced tea you made for her and sits next to you once she is done with her plants.

“Oh nothing. Jimmy’s show that we were in is up on the channel and internet. So I was just reading people’s comments.” you answer while your gaze is glued to the screen of your tablet.

“Oh? I hope they are all good comments?” she responds after a sip. “Hm yeah, they are.” you mindlessly answer but she notices your facial expression. You squint a little as you read more. Your eyebrow knitting together and your lips pressing in a straight line without even realizing it.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Lizzie’s tone sounds a little concerned.

“Ah nothing to be worried about, Liz. Some people are just funny with their comments and really need to find something else to do.” your hand did an air quote on the word funny and you laughed.

“What did you mean? What comment? Let me see.” Lizzie's curiosity takes over and she opens her palm, waiting for you to hand her the tablet.

“Just promise me, don’t worry about the comments and ignore them, okay, love. They really don’t bother me.” you subtly demand shortly before you let her read them.

“I can’t believe that Lizzie married Y/n Y/L/N. I hope it was just a lie.”

“Y/n is a new actress, she probably just wanted fame from being with Lizzie.”

“I think this whole thing was a skit to gain more fans attention, she probably lied about being married to Lizzie.”

“Even though IF it was true that they are married, she just uses Lizzie as her ride to fame. I’m sure as soon as she gets enough fame or movies, Y/n will leave her.”

The more she reads the comments, the more upset she looks. “I’m not happy with this, Y/n. We gotta do something about this.”

“No, I don’t think we have to do anything about it. I’m sure the comments will soon be old news and people will forget about it. I don’t really care what people say about me, Lizzie.” you express your point of view.

“I do. I will do something about it.”

“Wait, what are you going to do?”

“We’ll see. Don’t worry, darling. Everything is under control.” She kisses your cheeks and smiles, not giving you any clue what’s on her mind. You try to shrug it off and not to worry about it.

Few days later, there are more comments, both positive and negative about you and Lizzie’s. There are even videos in the media from the influencers or fans talking about them and going viral.

_____

Today is the Golden Globe award day. It’s the first big event since you got married. After hours of getting ready, you and Lizzie finally arrived at the venue. As soon as both of you got out of the car and walked to the red carpet spot, fans went all hyped up and so did the paparazzi and the media. You and Lizzie sometimes stop to sign some autographs.

You hear a bunch of voices calling Lizzie’s and your name. It’s your and Lizzie’s turn to be on the red carpet, camera flashes start to show up from every direction. Lizzie holds your hand as she poses with a smile and her eyes look at the camera.

The photographers caught some cute moments of you and Lizzie smiling at each other with the look of love.

Suddenly, Lizzie pulls you closer to her and kisses you on the lips to show the world how much she loves you and how happily married she is to you. She wanted to show all the internet trolls who said bad things about you to just mind their own business.

After the kiss, Lizzie smiles and says “I love you.” and without a doubt you say it back to her and it all caught on camera.

At the end of the red carpet, Lavern Cox is already waiting for you two to come and interview you.

“Oh my god, here comes the newlywed. One of the IT couples. Hi you guys. Both of you look amazing tonight!” She greets you and Lizzie.

“Hello, Lavern. Thank you. So glad to see you again.” you replied after you and Lizzie gave her friendly kiss on the cheeks.

“Me too, Y/n! Congratulations on the wedding! You both make a perfect couple and Lizzie, that kiss just now, I was in awe when I saw it. That was a pretty strong statement you made after things went viral about you two.” Lavern said shortly before she directed her microphone to Lizzie and you to respond.

You start with an awkward laugh. “I really didn’t expect the kiss, Lizzie always surprises me with her lovely and sweet gesture. I really appreciate her ways of showing her love and I’m really proud to show up as her wife tonight.” You can’t hold back a smile as soon as you are done saying your part and Lizzie takes her turn. Lizzie’s eyes are drinking the view of your smile in awe.

“Nice to see you again, Lavern. Thank you. It’s always nice to see our friends here and I think tonight is the perfect time for us to openly come out as being married to each other. I thank all the fans for their support and I would also like to tell some of the people who spread bad words or lies about Y/n to just leave her alone. We are happily married, we love each other sincerely. Y/n has been a great partner for me and she loves me for who I am. She could be famous even without me because she is a very talented actress and amazing person.” Her gentle smile looks totally opposite from her subtle firm tone as she expresses her thoughts towards the end of her statement.

“I couldn’t agree more with you, Lizzie. Wow, I love you so much for standing up for Y/n.” Lavern compliments her and continues with a few more questions about the outfits you and Lizzie wear tonight before the usher leads the two of you to the ballroom.

After having a little small talk with the others on the table, you gently hold Lizzie’s hand under the table and whisper to her “Thank you so much for standing up for me. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Lizzie’s gaze gently locks on yours and she replies with a loving smile. “Of course, babe. Like I said, everything is under control.” she gives you a quick peck on your lips then tonight’s host starts the event.

Everybody had a great time. At the end of the night, the crowd cheers even more positively as you and Lizzie walk out.

A/n: Welp, that's all from me for today, peeps! I hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think. Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more and see you in next!

Cheerio!

Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @honey-sweet-hiraeth @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @savethefbees @frvny @imdoingsortagay @marvelwoman-sugarbaby @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd

[variousqueerthings]

8 11 32 PLEASE!

HELLOOOOO AND THANK YOUUUUUU! also I remembered how much I overthink when looking at these whoops

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender: You know the opening to the Mr Bean series? Mr Bean gets beamed down onto earth and then it's implied that everyone Mr Bean does after that is literally because of being an alien, but it's never actually confirmed in the text? that but like. with a much more extensive wardrobe

11. Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???? I'm gonna give u three out of Many that are perfect. and I'm going to connect them to a Theme (I'VE CONNECTED THE DOTS). the thing is that these movies are movies that have at some point held me gently and guided me into a greater understanding of the queer community and history generally, as well as my own feeling of place within this community

My Beautiful Laundrette: This is one of my personal seminal queer movies, I watched it as a young'un/baby queer and it's just. Oh. such softness amidst the violence of the times, and the thing is that the softness is something that saves the main characters from the violence, both as potential perpetrators and victims (and how those can be blurred concepts to begin with). the core of it is two men who come back together amidst the height of neo-nazi anti-immigration 80s England, one of whom is Pakistani British and the other a white skinhead. And they open a laundrette together. This movie is sweet, I promise! it also features one of the subtly hottest moments to me in film history, in which one of them licks the others' neck in public while being watched on one side by Pakistani family members and on the other by white racists but it's angled so none of them see it!

City of Lost Souls: Listen, Rosa Von Praunheim's documentation of trans people (and generally queer people) is so so important for our community and you should check him out, but this film in particular is such a wild fucking ride that is hard to explain. a bunch of queer artists in 80s Berlin (and this movie was made in the 80s so you get some real footage of that great big wall) just like... fuck around? share intense elder wisdom? connect? sing! (oh yeah, it's kind of a musical, a trashy punky musical). This is some of the real deep magic of queer connection. there's an iconic moment in this film (there are several) in which a trans woman picks up a one-night stand and explains to him that she's trans and he's like. "eh no idea what all of that means, but you're saying you're a woman right? great!" and it's just Fine

Desire Lines: listen this movie... I'm almost hesitant to recommend it, because I feel so personally affected by it and it's a one-of-a-kind (so far) insight into transmasculine gay culture that is just. deeply precious and not understood by a lot of even the wider queer community. myself and every transmasc person I know who's seen it have felt somewhat transcendent about it, the way you do the first time you see yourself as (positively) visible in this way, it's almost too much. it's a documentary at heart, but quite experimental in elements of its structure, with parts of it being a fictional telling of a middle-aged iranian trans man who works in an archive and is told of the history of trans men's inclusion in gay bathhouses, lou sullivan, and personal testimonies from gay transmasc people. sometimes you don't notice how deprived you've been until something gives you real oxygen

Hon. mentions: Joyland, Great Freedom, Die Beautiful my personal favourite queer films of 2023, still have me by the throat!!!

32. Do you do arts and crafts? Post a pic of a project you've done: okay I will share a picture of something, but I need to go take a picture when I have a sec. It's not complete, but I've started a little zine that's just a big collection of euphemisms and ways of talking about queerness and it's such a fascinating, fun project that's made me think more expansively about how queerness gets talked about, whether it's in the past or present (or potential futures), within and without the community, as modern, or bigoted, or outdated, or fun, or out-of-the-box, or specific, etc. -- it's very far from done, but I can give a sense of just how many words/phrases/concepts I've picked up + imagery I want to include + the construction of the zine itself, which has a few little secrets to it

[operationfortune]

Okay I know this post will gain absolutely zero traction but the more I think about it the more I want to cry about it??

slight spoilers for one of the character arcs in Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre ahead,,,

So I saw Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre in the cinema today. I was alone, it was reasonably full, the film technically only opened two days ago, and it's wider release isn't for another week, but I had time to kill and it was the only thing that piqued my interest. It sits in an interesting spot tonally, comparative, I'd say, to Netflix Exclusive Michael Bay movie 6 Underground, though to use a more recent marker I'd drop it somewhere near Bullet Train (though it's definitely much closer to 6 Underground). All this context to say that I went into this Jason Statham-lead espionage action movie with zero expectations and almost completely blind.

So please believe me when I say I was truly blindsided with joy to have canonical, casual queer representation in this Jason Statham-lead espionage action movie.

Maybe it's that I don't watch a lot of media now, but it's something I noticed while watching Glass Onion too, both with Benoit and Hugh Grant (ha, put a pin in that) and especially with the character of Peg, and it makes me a bit teary and excited when I think about it. There's something to be said for how far we've come, to the point that Casual Queer Rep is even possible. There's something about watching Peg get all flustered talking to Helen and knowing that it's because she has a crush, without it having to be flagged, spelled out, or otherwise othered by the film or its writing.

It's normalised.

Which I know shouldn't be a big deal, but right now, to me, it is. I didn't realise I could feel this way; to see a full character who just so happens to be gay, where the plot doesn't revolve around her being gay, but that part of her identity is still made clear?? I love Peg so much holy shit.

But Glass Onion is the second in a series that has established itself as a forerunner for casual diversity. Let me tell you about how Operation Fortune made me want to YELL in theatres.

It's the 8th of January, and it might be a bit early to call it, but Danny Francesco might be my favourite character of the year.

Is he perfect? God no, he's objectively not a great person; he's sleeping with his sister-in-law, he's a Hollywood diva, he's demanding, and he (spoilers, seriously) ends up engaged to a war criminal. Who happens to be the main antagonist. Who happens to be Hugh Grant. Danny is the light of my life, however, and I love him with my whole heart.

So in the beginning we're told that Danny turned down $10m because he didn't want to jump out of Greg (Hugh Grant)'s cake and sing Happy Birthday; whatever, I thought, Greg is a rich, eccentric with an obsession with celebrities, and Danny is the biggest star right now, I shouldn't read anything into it because Sometimes Rich People Just Do Things For Status Reasons. We're also told, and subsequently shown, Greg tries to take celebrity's partners/girlfriends. Cue Sarah (Aubrey Plaza) in a bright red dress that I will dream about for the next month.

Also, in the scene where Danny, Sarah, and Orson (Jason Statham) are joining the fancy party, there's some distinctly fruity vibes between the three of them, but I'm not here to push my Orson/Sarah/Danny polycule agenda, just know that I have one.

So obviously Greg is excited to see Danny, but later makes a Very Distinct Pass at Sarah, inviting both her and Danny to stay with him for the weekend, with an implied Wink Wink Nudge Nudge.

While they end up taking him up on that offer, Danny, who started the film having refused Greg's Rich Weirdo Request, and now having to spend time with him for the job, finds that he actually genuinely likes Greg, who appears to genuinely like him back, doting on him, even giving him gifts.

When Danny says to Sarah "(I'm paraphrasing, about Greg) he's really into you! If you don't take him up on his offer then I might!" my eyeballs were Out Of My Head. Like sure it sounds like a joke that would be written in to simply highlight Danny's materialism, a whole 'gay for pay' joke, something about his vanity, or even just an offhand joke that I might hear one of my straight friends who were super comfortable and confident in their sexuality say about their best friends, I was So primed for this to be something that the audience could laugh off or dismiss in hindsight. Like in my mind that solidified my headcanon of Danny as bi, but I was so used to queerbaiting and years of being told I was reading into things.

So as the plot continues, Danny's fondness for Greg goes on, turns into something incredibly genuine, and looking back, he clearly has a hero-worship crush on Greg by the end of the film.

The last shot we see of Danny and Greg is the pair of them getting into an elevator after Greg pulls a stone cold power move on the films secondary antagonists, which he had Danny assist with for flare after Danny asked specifically to stay with him for that event. In the elevator, Danny tells Greg that that was "the coolest thing he's ever seen someone do" and that's the last we physically see of them.

HOWEVER!! THE ICING!! THE CHERRY!!

At the very end of the film, one of the protagonists mentions how he's gone into the film industry, and the response he gets is;

"You better not be talking about Danny Francesco and his fiancee Greg Simmonds!"

an accurate depiction of me as the credits began to roll;

WE WIN THESE!!

BOTH DANNY AND GREG ARE CANONICALLY BI/PAN IN THIS JASON STATHAM-LEAD ESPIONAGE ACTION MOVIE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2023!! THEY BOTH LIVE UNTIL THE END!! THEY'RE ENGAGED!! THEY'RE BOTH ABSOLUTE DISASTERS!! THEY'RE BOTH FULL, ROUNDED CHARACTERS WHO HAPPEN TO BE QUEER!!

I get choked up thinking about it now, considering how quietly overwhelmed I felt in the theatre realising that Danny and Greg's comments and moments throughout the film weren't some elaborate joke, the dialogue that reminds me of my friends, the moments that felt true to my life as a queer person, they werent the setup for any kind of homophobic mixup, miscommunication, or microaggression; no, I finally, actually felt like I saw a part of myself, of my community represented in media.

Everyone in that movie is terrible in their own way, but Danny and Greg just happened to be terrible people who are also queer. Are they perfect representation? No! Thank fuck! I think we deserve more dumbass, disaster, unethical queers in media.

Even if I don't necessarily recommend this movie (it's pretty okay if you're a fan of the genre I suppose), I subjectively love it and especially it's characters, with my whole entire heart.

Danny Francesco is canonically a dumbass, bi disaster who fell for his sugar daddy, war criminal Hugh Grant. Good for him. It's what he deserves. 🥰🥰🥰

[heyitsjooooanne]

265

One room.

Two hundred and sixty-five packages.

A young man decides that he's had enough…

Author's Note: Inspired by a Korean musician with questionable behavior concerning his package deliveries.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  =  =

My friend Holden liked to collect packages.

Actually wait, no.

I'm sorry.

He liked to hoard packages.

Ah.

See?

That’s much better.

But back to what I was saying.

This dumbass liked to hoard his own packages.

Let me show you what I mean.

It was a cold, January day, the birds were migrating, couples were cuddling, casseroles were baking, and—

Okay, I'll just cut the bullshit and get right to it.

See, Holden and I (my name is irrelevant), were part of a small group of rich online influencers.

Now, don't go throwing that rotten fruit at us just yet.

Yes, we posted videos on social media, but we treated the gig like actual jobs, which they were.

 And not to brag, but those videos gave us both a hefty sum of money.

Read: I am currently a millionaire at the time of writing this.

Anyway, Holden and I lived together as platonic roommates while we both did god-knows-what outside of the apartment we lived in. Which was fine by me.

So fast-forward to sometime in early 2017 when we were both 24.

It was damn cold, our heater was broken, and there I was, minding my own business (I was playing a video game in my bedroom) when this stupid son of a bitch walked in and said...

"Here's your birthday gift."

One: My birthday was in November.

Two: He bought that birthday gift for me the previous year for the previous year's birthday!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What?”

And if you're wondering how that could've happened, I'll tell you how.

He hoarded packages and never opened them, so naturally when he ordered something for me online, he tossed it aside and never bothered opening it.

Sigh.

Yes, I needed to actually write that out.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Two years later, I had finally gotten enough money for my own place, so I moved into another room a few floors down from our old room, which was now Holden’s.

But I would occasionally go over to his room to hang out and film videos for our individual channels.

There was a time when I had to watch my two-year-old nephew (read: his cat) for a few days while he was visiting his family.

The problem?

I was bored out of my mind.

Because I had already used up all of my data.

And it wouldn’t be renewed until the next day due to a “system error.”

Also, the WiFi didn’t work.

Now, I love Coco.

He’s like a real-life version of the cat from “Kiki’s Delivery Service.’

But all he does is sleep, cuddle, and look absolutely adorable.

Great for relaxing, but not so great when you’re itching to do something.

So I decided to count all the unopened packages in Holden’s "delivery room."

He called it that, not me.

Ignoring his poor taste in naming rooms, I counted every single package in that room, and it all led to just one number.

265.

He ordered two hundred and sixty-five damn things, and he didn't open a single one of them, other than him randomly finding a package and going "oh! I forgot I ordered this for you ‘X’ number of years ago."

In case, you’re wondering, yes, Coco is still alive to this day.

I know.

It’s a shock to me that someone like him could keep a living creature alive for that long too.

But don't worry.

This ended up biting him in the ass later on.

Because remember when I said he and I were part of a group of rich online influencers?

Well...

Actually, it hasn't been that long, so this is still a sore spot for me to think about.

But I'll push through it.

.

.

.

.

Jesus, how many "birthing" references can I make in a single post?

Meh.

I'll just get on with it.

So this group was made up of ten people, myself and Holden included.

Seven guys and three girls.

And we were all super close with each other.

I'd even go so far as to say we were all friends.

In 2020, one person from our group got sick.

Her name was Emily.

We had dated a few years before then, but we eventually broke up because we each wanted different things.

She wanted kids.

I didn’t.

But we ended up being pretty good friends after our breakup.

Anyway, I probably don't have to tell you what she got.

The point is, she got it.

My last image of Emily was her laughing at a stupid joke that her boyfriend made as they both got into an Uber to go back to their hotel.

We had all been partying at a club that night.

#richpeoplethingsssss

And then six weeks later, I received a call from her boyfriend telling me that she had died.

Shot down like a fly.

Just like that.

After that, they all started falling down like dominoes.

One after another.

Trust me when I say that a virtual funeral is not any better than a real one.

And when you're forced to "attend" nine of them (a relative of mine also died) in the span of a year, it really does something to you.

"Forced" might not be the right word to use here since I attended them all voluntarily, but...

Now, you can believe in whatever conspiracy you want, but the point is that people we knew died.

And if you're wondering why Holden and I didn't get sick...

Honestly, this is a little embarrassing to write down, but...

Holden and I got a great opportunity to try out this new game before things got crazy, and...

We spent two weeks in our own rooms playing it.

Then we had to stay in quarantine.

Then we had to wear masks everywhere.

Combine that with the fear mongering news anchors, my hypochondria, and you've got two dudes ready to wear hazmat suits outside.

Or at least, I was.

I didn't though.

(I couldn't find a legit one online.)

It's easy for me to laugh at the ridiculousness of this now, but at the time, it was a Hellscape.

Finally, in 2022, I just snapped.

I don't know what it was.

Could it have been that it was May 14th and that was the day that Emily had died two years earlier?

Maybe.

All I remember is going into Holden's “delivery room” because a damn fly had flown in there and I was trying to kill it.

I swatted with the fly swatter and missed, which caused a package on top of a pile (yes, he had piles) to drop down to my feet.

I picked it up and shook it, and it sounded like a bag of chips.

I was already angry with the fly for getting in through the vent, so I was already pissed off by this point.

So, not caring that I was committing a literal crime, I opened the package in frustration.

It was a bag of cookies made exclusively in Japan.

A favorite of one of the friends who had passed away in 2020.

His name was Kareem.

After that, I just saw red.

I'd realized then that I'd had enough of Holden and his complacent bullshit.

I barged into his bedroom without knocking and threw the bag of cookies in his face.

I think he was live streaming.

Maybe a game or something.

After that, it was a blur of us yelling at each other and Holden getting upset at me for interrupting his stream and opening up one of his packages.

No, shit, dude. Someone had to.

After it was over, I rushed back to my own room, fuming.

The next day, I invited my boyfriend (#birepresent!) to stay at my place for a while.

Holden would eventually knock on my door a week later.

I was still angry, so I told my boyfriend to ignore him.

The next morning, my boyfriend told me he had to go out and do something, so I stayed in my  room alone.

But the fight between Holden and I kept nagging at me.

I knew I couldn’t let that be our last interaction with each other.

So I went over to his room.

I knocked, but there was no answer.

Feeling a sense of urgency, I put in the pin number for his door lock and in an unsurprising twist, it worked.

It was his birthday.

>_<

After I was in, I immediately went over to the "delivery room” and found Holden sitting cross-legged on the floor gliding a sharp kitchen knife across the taped end of a package that was actually a box.

I looked to my left and saw several packages opened up with their contents discarded in a pile next to them.

It was so surreal, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Was my friend Holden actually opening these packages????

I bit my tongue to avoid saying something snarky and settled on...

"Need some help?"

We spent the rest of the day opening the packages.

We even shed a few tears because it seemed like every package was an old gift that Holden had forgotten to give to one of our dearly departed friends.

Finally, at around 11:45 PM (I had my phone with me), we finished opening up every single package that he had neglected over the years.

It was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

And even though he didn't say it, I could tell that Holden was relieved too.

The next morning, while we were both enjoying a bowl of oatmeal at his dining table, I asked him why he had taken so long to open the packages.

"Don't tell me you really forgot."

"Well it's just that..."

He sighed.

Then he ate another spoonful of oatmeal.

"You're gonna give me shit for saying it."

"We've been friends for over ten years. I've already seen your shit. Literally."

A tiny laugh from him.

"Come on, man. Now's not the time to be a passive shithead."

"Alright. Fine."

He put his spoon back in his bowl.

"I was thinking about it last night, and I realized that the reason I never gave our friends their gifts was because... I never appreciated the time I had with them. I mean, getting opportunities to travel to other countries. Speaking at Cons all the time. I don't know..."

He looked down at his bowl.

"I guess I always assumed that since we were rich that there would always be enough time. Like we could buy more time if we needed to."

"That's stupid."

"I know. But it's what I thought."

I leaned back in my chair.

"So what do you want to do now?"

Holden leaned forward.

"Maybe I should send all the packages for our friends who have passed on to their families?"

"That could work."

Holden and I spent the next couple of days calling everyone, but no one wanted the gifts. They were all items that could be ordered in the exact same way online, so there was nothing really special about them.

Nothing personalized or unique.

Three days later, by sheer luck, I overheard these college students talking about a donation drive on their campus.

I immediately ran home (well, I ran to the subway) and told Holden all about it.

He agreed to it.

I really should've recorded the looks on the students' faces when they saw Holden dropping a big-ass box of miscellaneous shit into their donation box.

And that wasn't even half of it!

The school didn't want anyone else to miss out on an opportunity to donate something, so they cut him off at about twenty items.

But that was just the beginning.

A professor told us the phone numbers of places where Holden and I could donate his box of thingsTM, and we spent the rest of the day going to every single one of them until finally we were down to a box of thirteen items.

Unfortunately, we had already gone to all the donation centers in the city.

Not knowing what to do next, we decided to call Uber again and head back home.

The next morning (take a shot of water every time I say this), I was scrolling through social media when I saw a clip of someone announcing a giveaway that they were hosting.

And it hit me.

Like, literally hit me because Holden accidentally bumped into me while trying to get to the kitchen to make breakfast for himself.

"Sorry, dude."

"You should host a giveaway on your channel!" I blurted without thinking.

Holden turned around quickly.

"Huh?"

I got up from my seat at the dining room table.

"A giveaway! That's how we're gonna get rid of those thirteen items."

Holden crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Got any ideas?"

"Hmm..."

Two weeks later, I went with Holden to the post office and watched him hand a box that contained a really fancy black jacket worth eight hundred dollars that was going to a very lucky winner in Oregon, to an employee behind the desk.

And that was that.

Two hundred and sixty five packages, finally gone.

I glanced over at Holden and noticed that his eyes were getting shiny.

But I didn't say anything.

Instead, I put an arm around his shoulder reassuringly.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  =  =

Author's Note: I actually think this would make a very good short film. Maybe something for the holiday season or whatever. Also, 265 is supposed to be Seventeen’s debut date scrambled up (May 26th, 526 = 265).

[odetoviscera]

Liveblogging Mission: Impossible 3, Lens Flare-ily

BACK. BACK AGAIN. THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. THE ETHAN: HUNTED MAYBE I ASSUME??? THEMATIC COLOUR BASED ON THE PARAMOUNT+ BANNER: COOL BLUE.

i think these are just getting longer. liveblogging below.

this movie released in 2006, when i was sixteen and therefore very likely to have seen it. i have the vague impression that i did. i still don’t remember anything specific about it, but we’ll see if any Buried Memories resurface during this viewing lol

paramount logo now comes with Vaguely Sinister Sounds

oop, i hear ethan getting electrocuted

and oh BOY is he looking rough. my boy :( we’re in media res i guess lol. “we’ve put an explosive charge in your head.” i bet you’re wondering how i got into this mess--

is that philip seymour hoffman??? yes it is, as our villain for the piece, one assumes. you don’t waste philip seymour hoffman on your cold open only villain who never shows up again lol

“you’re gonna tell me where the rabbit’s foot is or she dies” so firstly: obviously The Villain has made an accurate assessment of Ethan Hunt’s Survival Instincts. secondly: whomst? whomst this? “jules” apparently.

ethan goes from “we can talk like gentlemen”-- shot of a goon with a broken nose that i assume ethan gave him here, btw, which: split second of levity, thank you movie-- to RATTLING THE CHAINS ON HIS CHAIR LIKE A DOG ON A CHOKE CHAIN between the villain counting from two to three. i am. FULL OF CONCERN. movie has done a genuinely good job setting a High Stress Threshold from the word go lol

OOF villain just shot hostage lady in i think the knee? it went pretty fast. either way he is Not Impressed with ethan’s attempts at negotiation.

you know i am genuinely not sure ethan actually knows what villain guy wants? he seems to be legitimately losing his mind about hostage lady, i’m not sure he’d still be prevaricating by this point. sometimes he surprises me though!

HMM. got to count of ten, and i’m not sure if that was a gunshot or the Mission Impossible Match Lighting for the opening! will be interested to see if we’re going back in time or if this was the Trauma Setup for the film

so who’s our director on this-- oh it’s JJ ABRAMS? where is this in his filmography… huh, i guess this was his directorial debut in film. he’d previously worked as a director in tv on alias and lost, though-- alias is presumably what got him this one. okay, so i should expect lens flare and, ugh, “mystery boxes” lol

and the credits end with I THINK hostage lady jules opening her fridge. kind of hard to tell without the duct tape lol. but i believe this means we’re in Flashback Territory

oh ethan is kissing on her. look at that smile! one must imagine ethan hunt happy

okay her family’s over. awww, ethan: “it’s going well right?” i wonder if this is the first time he’s meeting her whole family or? regardless he is seeking Validation. insecure ethan hunt. bless.

oh it’s their engagement party! but yes it seems like this is the first time they’re meeting him. whirlwind romance?

“ethan doesn’t have his parents anymore either”-- i guess his mom died between movies?

dfklha;ldkfha;slkh ethan boring everyone at the party with his “i work at the department of transportation” cover lol

dfl;kkhas;ldkfha;lskh okay the ladies are in the kitchen gossiping and i am PRETTY SURE ethan is reading their lips from across the room lol

jules is a nurse! and apparently they met while skydiving or something lol, which based on ethan’s Freeclimbing Hobby i guess does track as something he’d do in his freetime, but DOES also open the possibility that they met on a job. i’m undecided on whether she Knows™ lol

this is all very wholesome, even without the cold open i’d know it was doomed

phone call “is this mr. ethan hunt” and he doesn’t Get It immediately despite the Sinister Tone bc he’s in Happy Ethan Cover Mode.

aaaand the penny drops. “all-expenses paid trip to mexico”

ethan: chucks the ice out the back door

ethan: oh nooo we ran out of ice i’ll go get some

listen i don’t know enough about cars to tell you what kind this is, but it is a Dad Car. ethan hunt is engaging Dad Mode before he even gets married

omg they even have a DOG. does the dog die??? hang on i have to know this before i become emotionally attached-- okay per doesthedogdie.com NO. THE DOG IS SAFE.

anyway i can’t believe The Local 7/11 is where ethan has meetings with his handler lol. oh hm ethan is Training Operatives now instead of working, apparently. this seems like a positive career move! i’m sure it won’t last!

“agent farris” is missing-- that’s not nyah is it? …no, nyah is nordoff-hall. someone else ethan trained, presumably. (speaking of which, what happened with nyah?)

and of course ethan can’t resist at least Retrieving the mission brief hidden in the disposable camera lol. oh good lord, i figured it would just be on the film reel, no, this thing has an IRIS SCANNER, someone introduce me to imf’s q, who is the silly bastard inventing these

oh we got a name for villain guy now, “owen davian”-- has farris hostage, they aren’t disavowing her bc they want her intel, apparently.

new team!

declan gormley-- sorry about your name my guy-- is an “aviation machinist” (so probably our pilot) and a sysop engineer, so probably also our hacker

zhen lei is a “lan computer networker”-- …sure-- with “combat assault skills” which should come in handy even if ethan is now specced more for soldiering than he used to be

luther! love to see you but why haven’t you retired with your bajillion dollars yet. also why are there so many hackers on this team. anyway, he’s also got “artillery equipment specialist” listed in his credentials, which i assume is from that one time he fired a bazooka at a car chasing ethan last movie lol

“this message, let’s call it my excellent engagement gift to you--” dhf;lakhd;flkhas dude. no.

i will say the latest imf bigwig seems less infuriating than the last two, even if he is Dragging Ethan Out Of Retirement. it is an “if you choose to accept it”! i mean ethan will, inevitably, accept it, bc he’s Himself, but there’s at least a hypothetical out.

ethan’s having nightmares :( 

and yep, now he’s telling julia he’ll have to “go on a business trip”. although he tells her it’ll only be for a night, which is probably over-optimistic of him.

LUTHER!!!! he is exuding Competence and Confidence which is an interesting change of pace from him, lol, he’s often been a bit Anxious in the previous two movies. not about his skills, but about like. The Inherent Dangers Of The Job. i guess this is Older Wiser Luther lol

and it looks like we’re going STRAIGHT into the extraction, no setup, so uh. i’m not sure it’s gonna go well. also, first of the Really Noticeable Lens Flares lol

i will say, egregious lens flares notwithstanding lol, this is actually really well lit for a night scene. you remember when films used to LIGHT for dark scenes instead of just doing them IN the dark? those were the days

okay this is an interesting exchange between ethan and luther. luther says “you know i got your six.” and ethan’s response is just “hey, man. that’s your job.” which, objectively speaking, is TRUE-- but there’s a beat afterwards where they just look at each other before they move on. i’m not sure if this is some kind of unresolved tension from ethan having gotten out of field work for a while, if this is luther alluding to ethan’s tendency from the last movie to go into situations without the POSSIBILITY of backup, if luther is trying to remind ethan that he’s got a Full (and Fully Trained) team for possibly the first time since the first movie, if luther is trying to remind ethan that they’re FRIENDS and being kind of gently rebuffed bc this is a high-stakes field operation… unclear.

anyway luther has gotten Four Computer-Operated Guns that he can run from the safety of his little combat van setup, lol.

lkafd;lkfh;alsh okay listen. luther has heat-vision on the building. okay. i’ll buy it. luther locates a heat-signature that appears to be sitting in a slightly reclined position that looks uncomfortable and probably like restraint-- cool! that’s probably our hostage! but the computer then announcing “target match” with “VASCULAR ID CONFIRMED”-- that! is not! how that works!

okay so real quick: vascular pattern recognition is real, blood vessel patterns are about as unique as fingerprints and iris patterns, but significantly harder to counterfeit bc they’re Beneath The Skin. but you DO NOT identify vascular patterns by heat signature, they ARE NOT analyses of the entire vascular system of the body, they usually FUNCTION LIKE FINGERPRINT SCANNERS, bc they assess the blood vessel patterns beneath the skin of a fingertip. it’s a photographic comparison between the database pattern and the registered pattern, which is scanned with infrared leds and fancy cameras. it’s only more secure than a fingerprint bc of the Beneath The Skin part. don’t ask me why i know this, i write fanfiction, you just pick these things up. THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!

look at some more lens flare. also i need you to know that the yellow lights on the left side are flickering in time with the fluttering cymbal in the score.

fh;alksdhf;lakkh luther, mid-op, “at some point we gotta go over this whole getting married thing.” luther is demanding to know if julia is good enough for his ethan lol i’m guessing he’s grumpy he wasn’t consulted

hmm, they’re drugging farris with something, “give her 10ccs more”-- oh hey, the one creepily petting her hair is the goon with the future broken nose, btw. deserved.

blow some charges and luther is lighting this place UP with his four guns lol. this seems like it might be SLIGHTLY risky with ethan and a hostage inside, but i assume they’re accounted for in the targeting ranges

ethan takes down one goon with a short burst, so he’s upgraded from hand guns to something more robust. he just gets Shootier and Shootier each movie lol

farris gets an adrenaline shot so that she can participate in her own rescue, i assume-- hopefully that doesn’t interact too badly with whatever she’s drugged with

i haven’t seen enough of the new teammates to really get a sense of them yet but zhen admittedly looks cool as hell moving through the facility towards her objective lol. i can’t get a decent screengrab of this bc the lights are flashing constantly, the cuts are too fast, and paramount+ won’t let me scroll frame by frame but just trust me that she is cool and we love a woman in military gear. also she VERY narrowly avoids getting blown up by a grenade by flinging herself out a window.

uh-oh, farris is telling ethan to turn off his transmitter so she can talk to him Privately. that’s ominous, especially Mid-Rescue while the building is full of holes

they were interrupted by a firefight, and farris’ adrenaline has definitely kicked in! looks like ethan trained her well

the intel (?) that zhen came for has been slightly blown up, hopefully still useful

fkha;ldkfh;lakshdf;lkah

lindsey: i’m out, how many rounds you got?

ethan, making The Most Concerned Unconcerned Face: …………Enough

also he makes like a thousand tiny flinching faces while he’s gearing up to take his One Shot, which Must Kill This Man bc “enough” means “one bullet”, which makes it extremely clear how much his blase “now i’m out :|”

after said shot does kill said man is a FUCKING MASK. ethan hunt knows half his reputation is cool one-liners after he does something absurd and that that’s the part people will remember, and he plays into that ON PURPOSE bc his previous job role was BEING THE FACE. i am begging everyone on earth to remember that this man’s SECOND career is soldier, and he came from THE THEATRE OF ESPIONAGE. he is a dramatic bitch INTENTIONALLY to ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.

one INCREDIBLY hot extraction on the top of luther’s van later, and everybody’s getting on the helicopter without farris getting to have her solo talk with ethan-- aaaaand now she’s complaining of a sudden intense headache, which probably means her head is about to explode ala “we’ve put an explosive charge in your head” from the cold open

…uhoh, declan-- i was right, he is our pilot-- is hesitating to take off, and i hear another helicopter approaching-- yeah, that’s a gunship. and alas it does not get taken out by the van blowing up, so they’re being pursued-- through a field of wind turbines which is an interesting visual AND an interesting tactic by declan

oh my god so much lens flare though lol. the music is getting increasingly ominous

they've located the bomb in farris' head! according to ethan’s little magic scanner device, it contains at least nitroglycerin and magnesium, and it looks about the size of a pill, so… possibly her head does not explode as such, just. burn from the inside out.

declan doing some VERY tight maneuvering to dodge some missiles. luther is leaning out the side of the helicopter with a handgun apparently hoping he can use it to shoot down a gunship lol. MAYBE if he can get a shot through the windscreen???

….okay so ethan’s plan for dealing with the explosive is to shock farris with the defibrillator-- i’m kind of unclear on whether the plan is to use the defib on the chest as intended or like. on her HEAD. hopefully the former lol

second missile fired-- ah, okay, it looks like luther’s gun was actually a flare gun, he’s just fired it in an attempt to divert the missile ala firing chaff. which works! shears a turbine blade off into a field of very alarmed sheep lol

third missile lock, and declan just went BETWEEN THE BLADES of a wind turbine, which the following gunship really should not have attempted lol, it got crunched like tinfoil. we love to see that imf competence on display-- which their AGENTS typically do! their organization as a whole, less so

aaand the aed’s thirty-second charging window was just slightly too long and farris’ charge has detonated in her brain. relatively bloodless, although her eyes get kind of fucked up, which i will do you the favour of not screencapping

this is the face of ethan hunt about to go on the warpath, by the way

ethan hunt returning to his nice domestic life after a mission that ended in complete failure despite everyone technically doing a spectacular job

aaand putting the mask on for the almost-wife. there was a MOMENT where he wasn’t caught up and he still looked lost and devastated, and she caught it-- bc of course she did-- and he couldn’t tell her what it was about, so-- The Patented Ethan Hunt Grin comes on. this is almost extra tragic? bc like… clearly he doesn’t want his spy life to overlap with his wife life. understandable (hi cold open) and probably unavoidable, given she wouldn’t have clearance to know 99% of it anyway. but just the emotional distance between Party Ethan who seemed genuinely happy and excited and nervous in that Border Collie way-- meeting new people! being nice to them! getting his girlfriend’s brother a beer! “it’s going well, right?”-- and this ethan, who is papering over his hurt bc he can’t afford to show her what it’s about.

and you can see she doesn’t entirely buy it, either. if she survives this movie, that’s going to become an ongoing source of conflict.

oh i take it back, apparently laurence fishburne is the REAL IMF brass of this movie, and he sucks just as much as the rest of them lol. “i read your training brief on agent farris. the words you used were “beyond capable.” that still stand, mr hunt?” fuck you dude, like ya’ll don’t lose agents left and right around here

oof, yep, the intel did get fried by the grenade, which is not making the imf any happier. not, to be clear, that i want the imf to be happy. fuck the imf ethan, GO FREELANCE, these people have sucked in EVERY MOVIE

oof, farris was his First Ever recommendation for field duty. no wonder this is hitting him like a train

hmm, ethan just got a call at farris’ funeral asking for a “mr. kelvin” which must be one of his cover identities, since he answers to it. apparently farris-- or “farris”-- sent him a postcard from berlin. the postcard has no text-- it has a “microdot”, per luther’s examination, but there’s nothing on THAT either. Mysterious™

luther just asked if there was anything going on between ethan and farris-- honestly, fair question, given his track record with hooking up with the ladies he works with lol, although in at least one case that was a honeytrap working on him lol-- and ethan reports that she was “like his little sister”, which-- aww, and also :( 

fla;ksdhf;laskh;lkh ethan @ luther “remember when you were sweet? can you remember that far back?” ETHAN IT WAS AT MOST TWO MOVIES AGO. arguably last movie, no i am not over his little terrified teary voice when ethan is doing dumb shit lol

new character! benji, who i have gathered from @leupagus is part of the Ongoing Team-- currently he is apparently a desk tech at imf who is complaining that the hard drives they recovered are fried lol. ethan already knows him, which is interesting.

flkahdl;fkhasl he did recover something from the Fried Drives anyway lol, so i guess he just wanted to complain. specifically he’s uncovered that davian is going to be at the vatican, and also that he’s there to get The Rabbit’s Foot (of cold open fame)

benji is one of those “tell a rambling story to get around to the point” people lol

interesting, ethan is trying to get musgrave-- the guy i originally thought was the imf brass of the movie, not technically ethan’s handler since ethan technically isn’t doing field work lol, i think he called himself a branch manager or something at some point-- “deniability” on the operation he’s about to undertake based on benji’s find. meaning he’s trying to protect musgrave’s reputation after it took a ding from the failure to recover farris.

ethan letting julia know he’s going to be “away on business” again, this time for TWO days. he interrupted her at work to have this conversation on, apparently, the roof of the hospital she works at, which is an interesting choice lol. she is Not Happy About It and asking for explanations which i can’t imagine he’s going to give her.

alskdhf;laskhdf;lkash;lkh she asks for reassurance that their relationship is real and he’s like “you know what fuck it let’s get married Right Now in the hospital chapel”. they have to use some little plastic rings he got in the gift shop or something lol. adorable. i’m love them.

aaaaand time to break into the vatican! plan: kidnap davian (and also get his buyers, which i’m assuming means ethan will be pulling out a Davian Face Mask at some point)

this is their hilariously analogue solution to not being able to loop a static shot to a vatican cctv camera. hopefully ethan didn’t get a bird in the frame lol

also he’s now dressed up as a priest and i would love to know how uncomfortable it was to keep those robes wrapped up inside the worker jumpsuit he was wearing earlier

i’m guessing this is zhen who’s underwater breaking into a vent, and it looks like declan has had his own costume change into a tourist!

actually come to think of it, how does this whole team from the failed op have time to do ethan’s off-the-books operation? how frequently do imf agents get work? we know the imf keeps tabs on them, from that time they tracked ethan down during his freeclimbing vacation, so the imf surely Knows they’re all in the vatican, and that would be suspicious even without whatever equipment they requisitioned-- surely they don’t just own all of this shit themselves-- and especially with them all having been on a failed op together like. last week. so either the imf is spectacularly incompetent-- totally possible-- or they’re aware of this operation and tacitly approve bc it means they can just DOUBLE disavow everyone if it goes wrong

oh it was luther underwater! i assumed he was in the van. this begs the question of where zhen is-- ah, i hear her teasing declan lol-- they have her in a Very pretty car, although bright orange makes me suspect this is a decoy rather than a getaway vehicle lol

alksdhf;lkash;lkah luther and ethan just blew a hole in a wall of the vatican catacombs. way to destroy some irreplaceable art history boys lol

ma’am you didn’t have to slay me like this but thank you

ooooh are we going to get to see how they make the plastic face masks???

dflaksjdf;lkahs luther is trying to patch things up with ethan about him being snippy about ethan’s engagement. WAIT until he hears ethan is already married lol.

luther: a normal relationship isn’t possible for people like us ethan: i don’t agree with that luther: then i’m smarter than you

LUTHER YOU DON’T HAVE TO ROAST HIM LIKE THAT (pls continue it’s very entertaining)

The Facemaskification Process-- put a big plastic sheet over the dummy head, input a bunch of photos of the target face at various angles, i’m unclear if these are lasers or saws but Something cuts away the plastic to match

luther has ethan as a captive audience while they prep for him to pretend to be davian, so he’s continuing to harangue ethan about his relationship lol. “23 months” is his estimate for how long it’ll last, which is Suspiciously Specific, luther, you projecting a bit babe?

Continued Facemaskification: airbrushing the colours from the same photos. this raises some questions about lighting-- both in terms of the lighting the source photos are taken in-- does the mask hold up to the same scrutiny under different lighting conditions than the source photos?-- and things like subsurface scatter, which presumably wouldn’t work with a mask that’s built like this one seems to be. obviously you can paint a facsimile of subsurface scatter, but again, that won’t hold up under various lighting conditions. many questions remain.

lol luther is continuing to try to talk ethan out of this by telling him how much he’s going to screw up the girl, and ethan finally breaks in with “jules and i got married two days ago.”-- which is an interesting timeline note, by the way-- and luther after a beat is just “..........congratulations.”

zhen has just dumped red wine on davian to divert him to a bathroom lol

very creepy ethan lol

ah, and now we get a look at how the vocoder gets set up the first time-- he’s having davian read a phonetic passage to collect voice samples to clone. idk how accurate that was to 2006, but voice cloning ai is actually pretty achievable today-- unfortunately, for deepfake reasons.

ksdhf;lkashd;lflkah okay so post-kidnapping switcheroo the cover to get ethan/”davian” away from his bodyguards is to have zhen offer to “wash his shirt”/offer sexual favours and having “davian” take her up on it lol. which, i’ll grant you, he seems plausibly like that kind of creep and zhen looks. uh. listen we’d all follow her to a hotel room is what i’m saying.

fajhdlfas;lkh the center console in zhen’s car rolls back so they can all exfil into the sewers-- meaning the bodyguards can’t even follow her car. “what’s up”

and then they BLOW UP THE CAR, which is going to a) have vatican security Swarming, and b) davian’s bodyguards (and anyone else who knows him) will now think he’s dead!

lovely full team shot zipping away on a speedboat. ethan has “dad taking the kids on a joyride” energy lol

and we’re only halfway into the movie so can’t wait to see how this unqualified success goes spectacularly tits-up

fakhdl;fkhas;ldkh musgrave just claimed to be aware the operation was happening, presumably to give ETHAN cover from the brass for going off-book (well, also to get credit)-- you boys need to coordinate better on who is covering for who

davian Starts Off this interrogation with “do you have a wife, girlfriend? bc i’m going to hurt her” which like. accurate from the cold open. apparently he thinks his best strategy is to Antagonize his captor, which, well, it’s a choice lol

ethan responds, as you might expect, by threatening to dump davian out of a moving plane if he doesn’t get the information he wants. luther has to talk him down-- “this isn’t you”, which is interesting, bc i would have said that was true TWO movies ago, m:i ethan avoided conflict like the plague, but m:i 2 ethan MIGHT have pulled a stunt like this. and of course now in mi:3, ethan is Emotionally Compromised by losing his protege and having a Very New Wife to worry about. which might ultimately be the real reason that romantic relationships outside of the intelligence community are unwise.

luther ultimately does talk him down, but it’s a close thing. (and davian a) doesn’t talk, and b) heard ethan’s first name when luther was pleading with him not to lose his single strand of chill.)

davian gets picked up in an armoured vehicle into imf custody, but given we’re following its progress i doubt he’ll stay in it long enough to get to a detainment facility

on the drive luther has apparently gotten farris’ microdot file decrypted and sent back to him! let’s see what was so important-- OOOOOH, she traced a call to davian from laurence fishburne’s office at the imf. can’t trust any of these motherfuckers

and yep, the convoy’s going-- looks like they’re being attacked by missiles of some kind. (ah, there’s a fighter (? very small silhouette) in the air, that’s probably where the missiles came from, so air-to-surface rather than rocket-propelled) lots of civilian traffic also getting caught as collateral, and they’re on a bridge, so could very well be a collapse coming. 

jeez, and a HELICOPTER. they’ve certainly got air coverage locked down

(zhen and declan are both here and trying to help, but i mean. options are pretty slim.)

ethan shouts at all the civilians to get down as the heli squad starts firing indiscriminately onto the bridge-- at least once woman gets shot, luther goes out to try to get her into cover, and ethan takes off to try to get a good shot to do something Useful with his handgun Versus A Helicopter with multiple armed combatants onboard

oh interesting, he’s trying to get davian out of the truck-- presumably to hold him hostage so the helicopter will stop shooting at civilians. no dice, they just shot the driver, and they make those trucks hard to break into for, you know, the obvious reasons

fa;lkdhf;lah ethan’s got to crawl back into his Flipped Truck, which is one good shove away from falling through a hole in the bridge, to get a gun that can actually do shit to a helicopter

heli squad has dropped onto the bridge to extract davian, this foam presumably will either explode or eat through the side-- huh, looks like it sort of flash-froze, i assume so they can shatter the metal somehow

ah okay, the “fighter” is a drone being piloted from the helicopter

ethan nearly gets blown up and DOES get to bodyslam a car. this after the car crash from the initial missile impacts. this boy is coming out with broken ribs and a concussion minimum, he’s lucky his wife is a nurse

ethan gets his new gun put together and manages to take out the drone, which ALMOST but not quite dings one of the helicopters (which, i hadn’t realized there were two until now, scenes have been a little disjointed) on its way down

ethan makes a FLYING leap across the destroyed bridge-- gratuitous lens flare again lol-- unfortunately doesn’t quite make his jump, manages to hold on to some rubble so he doesn’t tumble into the water but it slows his pursuit of davian, who is now being hustled to a helicopter

ethan manages to fire a few rounds at the helicopter on its way by, but no dice, davian is in the wind (literally). ethan calls home right away bc i guess he assumes davian can have her kidnapped Instantaneously-- which apparently is true, bc julia isn’t home and her brother (apparently crashing at their house lol) asks ethan if “his friend” found him and that he told “some english guy” that julia might know where ethan was and to try her at the hospital. soooo great job rick, your sister’s maybe gonna die.

ethan has requisitioned the least-crashed car on the bridge, which seems fair under the circumstances, although i’m sure the owner-- if they aren’t shot-- will have other opinions

oh julia’s not kidnapped yet! she’s still at work, that’s why she’s not answering ethan’s calls

okay the receptionist at the hospital knowing ethan well enough to respond to his very abrupt “I Need To Talk To Julia” with “hey honey, i’ll transfer you” is adorable

…Some English guy just stuck a Mysterious Yellow Dot (which will make her pass out momentarily i’m sure) to julia’s arm and her reaction is just :)? what’s that? sweetheart… no… develop an aversion to people putting things on you without your permission…

oof, ethan literally passes right by Julia On A Gurney being taken out of the hospital, but of course Some English Guy has her under a sheet, so he doesn’t realize

and davian calls to give ethan a “julia’s life for the rabbit’s foot” 48 hour ultimatum. problematic given ethan still doesn’t know what the hell that is, although he does at least tell ethan that the location is in the case they got with davian.

aaand of course this is the moment the imf rolls up to take ethan into custody, so yet again he’s about to be at odds with his own organization. i’ll say it again, ethan: GO. FREELANCE.

this is really gonna cut into his 48 hour timeline also why the fuck have they MUZZLED HIM

laurence fishburne of course is saying Some Bullshit, musgrave of course is nodding along like “yes sir of course sir ethan hunt is a traitor sir”-- ACTUALLY, stray thought. farris didn’t hear laurence fishburne talk to davian, she just knows the call came from his office, which seems to be the same building musgrave works in. musgrave making calls from his boss’ office, perhaps?

hmm, musgrave is mouthing to ethan silently so ethan can read his lips without the rest of the office picking it up, and then slips him something to get out of his restraints. this does not make him less suspicious, if he’s working with davian he has a motive to want ethan out and hunting the rabbit’s foot.

captain america stole his elevator fight scene from ethan hunt. except ethan’s doing it while still half-tied to a gurney, so who really wins here?

escape into the elevator shaft, shockingly well-lit lol

fha;lkdhf;alskhdlk brassel (laurence fishburne, i’ve finally learned his name lol) hearing His Own Voice giving orders he hasn’t given over the radio. ethan works fast. why he has a voice strip with brassel’s voice encoded on its easily to hand i don’t know, but it’s better than last movie when he did a full outfit swap, vocoder, and face mask switcheroo with the villain’s not-boyfriend

oh huh looks like the imf facility is actually underneath the department of transportation, that’s where that cover story comes from lol. df;lkha;ldkfh;lak and ethan ditches his radio next to a boombox so the only thing on the imf security channel is sister sledge playing “we are family” lol

musgrave apparently directed the entire team to the same shanghai apartment he told ethan to go to on Rabbit’s Foot duty

the team settles in to debate their entrance strategies and ethan, Of Course, chooses the roof access lol. he’s gonna Jump from one building to the target building. well, swing, but still. and the basejump from the building to exfil lol

we are at 2 hours until the Julia Dies ultimatum

ethan looking very brooding and cool, and presumably doing math in his head about the velocity and angles he needs to hit if he doesn’t want to unceremoniously splatter on a roof. luther gives him a pep talk which is very matter-of-fact and does not allow for the plan to go sideways, which, like. it will, but we appreciate the solidarity. luther, yet again, for best boy.

awww, ethan thanks luther for coming and luther’s response is “that’s my job.” CALL BACK TO THE WEIRD MOMENT FROM THE FARRIS OP, whatever that weird tension was-- probably about julia, considering the rest of the movie-- it has been Resolved in the midst of this Crisis.

julia if you survive this movie you should have No Doubts about this man’s love for you ever again lol

oof, at the terminus of the swing he still has like a twenty foot drop ONTO A GLASS ROOF which he is now sliding directly down. ethan. babe. i know time is short and options are limited but pls.

catches himself on the gutter and literally says “...okay” in the most strangled voice lol. oh, more lens flare. honestly there’s been so much i can’t even call it out specifically lol

luther: he made it! he made it! ….i knew he’d make it I TOLD YOU HE WAS STILL SWEET ETHAN.

we aren’t even seeing ethan’s actual theft of the rabbit’s foot, we’re watching the team outside wait for him and count down the minutes, which is a fascinating choice that i actually really like. we’ve seen ethan do impressive spy shit, none of that’s new. watching the new team react to ethan’s radio silence, that IS new. luther is trying to maintain chill. declan is Fretting. zhen is apparently PRAYING under her breath. (apparently a prayer she’d say to bring home her Lost Cat as a kid, which-- love you zhen, pls stick around for next movie.) flkah;dlkfha;lkh aww, declan asks her to teach him the Lost Cat Prayer, presumably bc he needs Some Kind Of Distraction-- they get interrupted by ethan finally coming back on the line (things have, predictably, gone pear-shaped) but it’s a cute moment

so, ethan’s base jumping From The Roof was already going to be cutting it very close on the lower limits of height for that-- he instead jumps out a window like halfway down the building, which means if he hits the ground he will do it Hard-- so instead he crashes into the window of, i think, a different building, although it’s unclear how intentional that was given how much drag he was fighting

oop, his chute is about to drag him back out the window lol. having been dragged around campus by my own portfolio getting caught in a wind tunnel-- my sympathies, ethan, you belong to the north wind now

his chute catches on a streetlight, which does him the favour of not splattering him, although it does drop him into oncoming traffic-- that truck driver is a hero for not obliterating him or spinning out and slamming into every other vehicle on the road btw

team picks him up and they’re now in a highspeed car chase with building security while ethan tries to make the call to davian to tell him he’s got the rabbit’s foot

oh noooo zhen got hit. that better be a flesh wound ma’am we’ve had enough women dying this franchise thanks

apparently ethan decided the angles INSIDE the car weren’t good enough and he’s sick of being shot at. being the Best Spy, he of course manages to blow the pursuit vehicle's tires, so they're home free!

musgrave still so suspicious. “go secure” ethan says, “we are” musgrave says, sir. that’s your cellphone and you didn’t do literally anything, if that’s secure i’ll EAT your phone. anyway, ethan is calling to tell him that he’s tagged the rabbit’s foot so that the imf can retrieve it after ethan makes the exchange with davian. which, if anyone at the imf is both competent and not a traitor-- A BIG ASK, I AM AWARE-- means the cold open should have some cavalry coming, hypothetically

the team Reluctantly lets ethan go off to make his Solo Handoff/get captured

ethan at the drop point gets into a vehicle and on instructions from Some English Guy also Drinks A Mystery Vial, which i’m sure will go great for him

interestingly it appears to be making him hallucinate being intimate with julia, and then we wake up in the cold open!

so yeah, it seems like ethan legitimately thought he’d given the rabbit’s foot to davian and his confusion and prevariation here are bc he legitimately doesn’t know how to fix this

meanwhile the team has arrived home to uh. This on the landing strip

well. it WAS indeed a gunshot. and julia does now seem to be dead.

One Must Imagine Ethan Hunt Happy

and in comes musgrave i KNEW IT you little rat

oh ooof. “it’s complicated. you can’t just open the canister. we had to be sure you brought the real thing. now we know.” so LITERALLY he brought you what you wanted, and you killed julia For Show.

unfathomable that ethan hunt is not fully deranged by the end of this movie. i would be eating musgrave’s bone marrow by the end of the runtime.

…gross, but apparently that is some other RANDOM woman-- actually i think it’s davian’s other bodyguard, which, not great benefits there-- they just killed with a julia mask on? i guess that’s good for ethan but also What The Fuck???

ah, bc musgrave is using her as further leverage to find out What Farris Knew.

flkha;lfkhd;lkfahs;lhkds musgrave is complaining that brassel is an “affirmative action poster boy” DUDE YOUR MOTIVE IS JUST RACISM? RACISM AND JEALOUSY? YOU WHINY LITTLE PISSBABY SIT DOWN

“and when the sand settles, our country will do what it does best. cleanup. infrastructure. democracy wins.” god were people really buying that in 2006. i guess that was only five years after 9/11, nationalism was High and the bush admin was still in place. anyway, Yet More Racism from this twerp

ethan asks for a phone call to confirm that julia is alive. amusingly, the fact that julia can remember what the lake is called means it’s Much Less Likely to actually be her on the phone, given she couldn’t remember it during The Party

i see now why they muzzled him lol

huh, ethan called benji as his first point of contact once he’s knocked out musgrave and gotten out of his restraints

benji goes from “you’re on interpol’s most wanted! i’m hanging up!” to “i’m going to lose my citizenship over you” in the space of like thirty seconds and ethan doesn’t even say PLEASE lol

lol benji is being ethan’s on-call gps service. he is doing this At Work, by the way, at the organization that currently wants ethan’s head on a stick, so he keeps having to pause to make Pleasant Office Noises at his coworkers lol. also featuring: The Ethan Sprint

jkhfjkhskdfak a couple of little old chinese men took one look at ethan gasping and bleeding in the doorway and ratted out the villain’s location

aaand while looking around he promptly knocks a bunch of shit off a table. guess those concussions are finally catching up to you, babe. but we’ve found julia!

unfortunately at exactly THAT moment, davian remembers he put a bomb in ethan’s head

well, if he can win this fight with davian while his brain is about to fry, at least his wife is a nurse! she can probably shock him both to death and back to life! if there’s an aed around! which i haven’t seen one, but for plot reasons, probably is somewhere!

ethan has, as per tradition, engaged Emergency Fight Mode at the threat to a loved one! i don’t know why these villains keep threatening people he cares about, it goes SO MUCH WORSE than when they just threaten him

dfl;kha;ldkfha;l okay rolling davian on top of him and into the path of an oncoming vehicle is novel and definitely ends the fight quickly, which is good given ethan has a couple of minutes before his brain melts. also honestly refreshing after the like fifteen-minute fight with the main antagonist of the last movie

fha;lkdhfl;aksh;l ethan hands julia his gun, tells her it’s a very accurate close range weapon, and then immediately follows up with “don’t point it at me” lol

he’s a good teacher! giving julia instructions about how to use the gun that mirror things she’s done at home-- “shove the new mag in like the batteries in the flashlight in the kitchen”. also he is clearly setting up a diy electrocution, which, well, it’s not like he’s got a better option, apparently this don’t use defibrillators at whatever sketchy back alley clinic this is

and of course AS SOON as julia flips the switch to short out the bomb/shock him to death, someone starts shooting at her so she can’t immediately start resuscitation. so ethan is now lying dead on the floor (it’s! temporary!!!) and julia has been promoted to Action Girl!

aaaand since she’s a brain death time limit with ethan, she does NOT wait for the goon to come to her, she just figures out where he is, pops up, and empties an ENTIRE mag into him lol

oooh! and then turned around and did the same to musgrave! well done ma’am, marriage material indeed

now the Sad CPR

also ethan goes from Dead to Firing Position in the space of One Heartbeat

lol sees musgrave dead on the floor and his response is “you did that? …wow” in this very admiring tone lol while julia is still reeling from him not being dead

and yeah ethan kind of has to spill the beans to her at this point lol

apparently the white house is now asking for ethan directly and by name

hey, julia gets to meet the team!

and off they go on their honeymoon!

alright MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 COMPLETE. about as much lens flare as i expected, only “mystery box” that i detected was that no one ever fessed up about what the fuck “the rabbit’s foot” was supposed to be for, but for the purposes of this particular film it doesn’t really matter, it’s just a plot macguffin.

i did not, in fact, remember a single goddamn thing about this movie lol

ethan gets physically put through a wringer in this film, this might be the most cumulatively beaten up he’s been so far. i didn’t make a count or anything, but he’s got probably more than one concussion, multiple broken ribs, has to have sprained every joint in his body, wouldn’t be surprised if he’s fucked up his spine, and also he was dead for a few minutes after electrocuting himself with an unknown voltage.

on the other hand, this is the happiest we might have ever seen him! also the most despairing. dichotomy of ethan. i’m glad julia didn’t die! not just bc she’s good for ethan, she also seems cool in her own right, i’m hoping that unlike nyah she’ll stick around for further movies.

actually i would like to keep this whole team! declan and zhen were fun in the screentime they got. benji was fun and they could use somebody at the home office who isn’t a Complete Twit.

i still think they should all go freelance. luther’s done it before! and the imf keeps fucking ethan in particular over! and apparently their ranks are absolutely RIDDLED with traitors who want to work with black marketeers lol.

i’m not sure ethan’s Ethan Stunts here should contribute to the Does Ethan Have A Death Wish conversation, bc in this particular film most of them are motivated by Trying To Save Julia and he’s clearly at the end of his mental and emotional rope from the moment she’s taken. it is, admittedly, probably not healthy for him to hinge so much of his sense of security and comfort on one person, but it’s too late now.

8.5/10, the style was a little too frenetic to keep track of the action all the time and the lens flare was exactly as much too much as you’d expect, but the story was solid except for the rabbit’s foot contrivance being a little too meta-textually irrelevant for my tastes and there was a lot of good Pathos in ethan finally trying and failing to settle down, and good performances from everybody.

would watch zhen swan around in a red dress again.

[jechristine]

Have loved that Marty quote ever since I read it and it's really applicable to the latest 'drama'. I'd prefer a world where there was no cumulative 'score' or aggregate so that maybe people would legitimately read these reviews instead of just looking at a number and taking away conclusions and judgements that might not be close to reality.

Film criticism has always been interesting to me, and growing up analyzing literature critically was always a good time and made me a better thinker. Film criticism by some is moving into film roasting for clicks and attempting to write the best snappy, scathing one liners that'll make the headline enough to tell a reader what to think. I really love reviewers who take their time in explaining what didn't work for them and what did.

Also I'm in my early 30's so I vaguely remember what it was like to grow up without cell phones and while there's a lot of benefits to them, I think having these social media sites right at our fingertips does so so much to discourage having analytical and critical thought. And it's very depressing sometimes, and the issue goes way beyond fandom things and into the way we take in our news and current events.

Back to this from yesterday—

Thanks, Anon! I agree with you. I like to read a good review—one that’s nuanced but also one that places the film/series in context of media history.

I do think Rotten Tomatoes is a response to a “crisis in authority,” whereby the tastes and opinions of a few elite gatekeepers were supplanted over the last ~25 years by millions of voices with access to a global public square of sorts. Instead of reading one or two reviews in publications that we’ve subscribed to and that get delivered to our doors, and maybe chatting with some friends, we have access to dozens of virtual publications and hundreds (thousands?) of non published opinions online.

The simplest read is that there are just so many things to watch and so many reviews to read, and just a few hours in the day, so we need someone/thing to help us navigate it all. One way is when a critic has made herself stand out by getting the most traction on, like, Twitter (ie the snappy one-liners that you’re talking about). Some of us always check our favorite critics or just know what we like, but many of us rely on aggregate reviews.

But I tend to see anything that’s judging cultural value, like a review aggregator, to be more complex than that. How to make sense of all the product that’s out there? Despite endless calls to “judge for yourself,” I think it’s clear that most people want their tastes and opinions to be explained to them, and I think that’s because “taste” is more about fitting in somewhere—distinguishing your in-group from others—than it’s about individualism.

Anyhow, Rotten Tomatoes is an extremely crude way of telling us what’s liked by “top critics” (ie the old gatekeepers), “all critics,” and “audiences.” In addition to helping us make quick choices, that three-tier ranking system give us tools to say a lot about ourselves depending on where we choose to align or from where we choose to depart.

[kmp78]

Jared Leto Says Justin Bieber Won’t Stop Sending Him Dirty Texts, Snapchat Pictures

LOS ANGELES, California – 

While being interviewed by WKYL-FM Los Angeles radio talk show host Jenny McIntyre, actor and musician Jared Leto made a shocking statement when asked about obsessed fans. “Justin Bieber is my most obsessed fan, by far. Of all the guys who look up to me and the girls that are into me, Bieber is the worst. That dude will not leave me alone,” Leto said during the interview.

McIntyre laughed, assuming that Leto was just joking, but Leto said he was very serious, and has been trying for months to get Bieber to stop texting him.

“No, I am as serious as a heart attack. We met literally one time, and I gave him my number and was like ‘hey, we should hang out, get some drinks sometime.’ I guess he took it the wrong way,” Leto said. “So ever since then, he calls me at least three or four times a day. I don’t answer, so he texts. There have been a few days where he’s sent me over 200 texts or pictures.”

The star, known for films such as Requiem For a Dream and The Dallas Buyers Club (which earned him his first Oscar), is also the frontman for alternative rock outfit 30 Seconds To Mars. He said that he was just trying to be polite when he met Bieber at a concert last year, and didn’t think the pop singer would even contact him.

“When he did text me the first time, I really was going to hang out with him,” said Leto. “It was just that our schedules didn’t line up, and I told him we would get it together eventually. I think he took that completely the wrong way, though. He started sending me pictures through snapchat. I’m a very progressive guy, but there are some things I really don’t want to see; If I wanted to check out Justin’s little Bieber, I’d Google it just like any normal teenage girl or sexually frustrated housewife.”

Bieber, who has been hounded by the media ever since Leto’s interview went viral, said that he doesn’t even know who Jared Leto is, but that it’s very possible he’s sent him nude pics, because he “sends them to everyone.”👀🤣👬

These are the times when I really wish people would do even just a tiny bit of research... 🙄

When you found that "article", did you happen to look around to see if ANY OTHER NEWS PLATFORM/OUTLET reported on it?

No?

Well, let me do that research for you then, as I always have to:

NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER REPORTED ON IT.

And you wanna know why that is?

I´ll tell you:

IT´S BECAUSE EMPIRE NEWS IS A SPOOF WEBSITE.

THEIR "NEWS ITEMS" ARE NOT REAL.

THEY ARE JOKES.

Examples of their current offerings:

SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 😂

Oh and there´s no radio station in LA called WKYL-FM with a DJ called Jenny McIntyre either. 😂

Those are THE ONLY ITEMS found on google. 😂

So... yeah.

Let´s use some god damn common sense already. 🙄

[mikimeiko]

The WATER

RRR (2022)

(the stoRy - the fiRe - the wateR - Rise Roar Revolt)

[baronetcoins]

2, 6, 14, and 29 for the fic writer asks

2: Do you read/reread your own fics?

Sometimes? If I'm looking for information I wrote into an earlier one, or doing an ask game or something like that. But not "for fun".

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

If you'll allow me a very loose definition of "all the time", yeah! A couple that stand out in my brain are

You've Got Time by Alejado (VERY good destiny series centering on a hunter and vex time bullshit)

pov: me when i fucking get you by doingthewritethings (DSMP social media fic crack treated seriously modern day tntduo au where wilbur and quackity are both on the student council and the rituals... are intricate. ft "oh i didn't tell you we were dating? whoops. I have never in my life laughed harder at a fic.)

The City v. Ahamkara by Kangoo (In which the hero of the red war turns out to be an ahamkara, and the resulting court martial splits apart a family)

After me comes the flood by Kangoo (he wrote a character study of my oc and did a better job with her characterization than I ever have lmao)

A pleasure so sublime by Kangoo ('would you still love me if I was a worm?', crack treated seriously, another one that's just so funny I keep coming back to it.)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes by Kangoo (it's just very soft, okay?? the various destiny ocs of the court get stuck in an airport on christmas)

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

The answer is ITAV, probably. But given that ITAV doesn't yet exist outside of the court's groupchat and me and Kangoo's dms, I'm going to say... probably funeralverse?

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Well, the only fic I've saved cut stuff from is Oberth Manuever, so have some of the first attempt I made at chapter 4 before I changed my mind about a bunch of things.

It had been approximately three days, 15 hours, and 7 minutes since the Atlantic set course for Ganymede,and already Wilbur required the use of all his willpower to keep from pulling his hair out at the roots. Tubbo prattered on obliviously anyway, absorbed enough he didn’t notice the pinched note to Wilbur’s smile or the way his eyes glazed over. It wasn’t his best performance of interest, but it didn’t need to be.  Techno had been gracious enough to lend them use of the bridge console at least, which Tubbo had sworn would make his attempts at decryption go faster. All three of the brats had taken to hovering around the display as though their staring would solve anything. Wilbur just inhaled slowly and took another sip of coffee.  Ranboo had integrated himself into their dynamic with alarming speed. Tommy and Tubbo’s besuited shadow, always the follower and never the instigator. He played lookout and fetched supplies, and always volunteered to take the dishes after meals. At first the possibility of some scheme of masterful manipulation had gotten him excited, but after spending three days in observation, Occam's razor had forced him to conclude they were simply that dull.  Wilbur wanted to scream. Three and a half days out of their two week journey to Ganymede, and all he had to show for his efforts was an amnesiac with an Earther’s accent, and a hard drive full of information they still couldn’t read. 

[debbiechanclub]

I was tagged by @softlikesilkchiffon to give three random facts about myself. Thank you, Summer! 💕

I. In 2013 I was a finalist for the MLB Fan Cave, representing the Washington Nationals. The best way I can think to describe the Fan Cave would be like The Real World for baseball fans, except it was on social media instead of TV (here’s the Wikipedia article about it). To enter, you had to submit a video application, and mine was a spoof of A Christmas Carol where I was visited by the ghosts of D.C. baseball past, present, and future. MLB chose the semi-finalists from the video applicants, and then the finalists were decided via public vote. I'm pretty sure the only reason I made it to the finals was because my friend's cousin spent an actual entire day voting for me when he found out it was unlimited votes 😂. I didn't make it into the actual Fan Cave, but I got to go to Spring Training in Arizona with all the other finalists and basically party for a week while filming things with pro baseball players. Fast-forward to today and I haven't watched baseball since 2019 because Sling doesn't carry the channel that broadcasts the Nats games 🙃

II. I've mentioned this before and it's not exactly random given the content of my blog, but it's always one of my go-to icebreaker facts and, ngl, I like telling people this. In 2011, I trained for six months at a dinky little pro wrestling school in Western Maryland. My thought process at the time was basically, I still don’t have a job over a year after graduating college, so I might as well try to become a pro wrestler. (In hindsight that’s horrible logic, but I was also 22.) The school was over an hour’s drive away from where I lived, and I didn’t have my own car at the time, so I borrowed my dad’s twice a week until I started catching a ride with another one of the students who lived relatively close to me. At first, they gave me the name “Katie May” and paired me up with this big hoss dude as a babyface manager, but I turned on him pretty quick and started managing the dude I carpooled with―and I had nuclear fucking heat after I turned heel. There were girls who went to the exhibition shows at the school who shoot hated me because I was the only female trainee and I guess they were jealous of the attention I was getting from the wrestlers? Because apparently psycho fangirls exist even for no-name indie dudes. 

Anyway, I could write ten more paragraphs about those six months, but to make a long story short I quit after I realized the school was a joke and one of the trainers showed photos of mine that I had sent to him in confidence to the entire locker room. That being said, I don’t regret the experience at all and I have to say I was pretty good. Sometimes I think about how different my life might be right now if I hadn’t quit. But not too much because then the “what ifs” make me sad.

III. I have one tattoo and am hoping to get more soon. But the next one I get is actually going to be a cover-up/re-do of the one that I have 🙃. It’s the coordinates to my college, and it’s messy and blown-out because the guy who did it had only been tattooing for three months at the time. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that until long after I’d left the shop. I’m planning to get the coordinates covered up with either a moth or butterfly and then have the coordinates redone... but I am a little worried that my best friend will be lowkey upset if I do get it covered up, because she has the exact same tattoo. But it’s my body and in a place I can see it every day (the inside of my forearm) so yeah. It’s happening. 

Tagging: @comeasyoudar @knifepervert @m00sebaby @sldghmmr @hotyeehawman!

[xtruss]

Looking for Art in the James Webb Telescope

Artists are Finding Inspiration in the Newest Images of Old and Ancient Stars.

— By Matthew Hutson | September 14, 2023

“Beyond the Light” opened in New York in June and will have its D.C. Première on September 15th. Photograph courtesy ArtecHouse

In the Film “2001: A Space Odyssey,” an astronaut travels through a seeming tunnel of light. (In the novelization, he radios to mission control: “The thing’s hollow—it goes on forever—and—oh my God!—it’s full of stars!”) Earlier this summer, Artechouse, an organization producing immersive, technology-based art, started offering a science-backed version of a similar trip at its New York venue. The show, titled “Beyond the Light,” is a looping twenty-six-minute journey through space and other realms inspired by images from the James Webb Space Telescope (J.W.S.T.). Artechouse began talks with nasa about a show in 2018, and started pulling this one together earlier this year, after the first images captured by J.W.S.T. were released to the public last July.

There’s a long tradition of art about the stars. More than sixteen thousand years ago, cave explorers in what’s now Lascaux, France, painted animals that are believed to represent the constellations. A few hundred miles away and many centuries later—near Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, in 1889—Vincent van Gogh made “The Starry Night,” a swirling blur of color looming over a village. “I’m sure people have been painting the heavens for as long as they’ve been looking at them,” Maggie Masetti, the nasa social-media lead for the J.W.S.T. mission, told me. “Beyond the Light” is high-tech—video is projected on three walls and the floor of a vast room, while a powerful sound system thrums—but it’s also connected to traditional astro-art in the way it’s largely abstract and impressionistic (sometimes even Cubist). Although the show makes use of images taken by the Webb telescope, it is mostly imaginative. Splashes of color, bubbles, tubes, machinery, and glowing rocks covered with runes flow across the room in response to what the telescope has found.

When the show premièred, in June—its D.C. première is this Friday—a number of researchers involved with the J.W.S.T. were in attendance, among them Stefanie Milam, a nasa astrochemist; Macarena García Marín, an astrophysicist at the European Space Agency; and Mike Menzel, nasa’s mission-systems engineer for the Webb. They stood talking with Sandro Kereselidze, one of Artechouse’s founders. “It’s absolutely fantastic and beautiful,” Milam said. “We already tried to do our own art,” she went on—scientists producing images with the Webb had used “different components of the instruments, different wavelengths, or different filters, to really tell the story about a given image, because we want you to see the baby stars being formed in a giant cloud, or to see the Great Red Spot on Jupiter in multiple colors, or other storms in planetary atmospheres.” But now artists were telling other kinds of stories using the images. “What we do is sort of amateur art,” Milam said.

“We designed the telescope to wow the scientists,” Menzel agreed. Now, he said, “We’re here in an art show, watching some images that we helped produce becoming things that are almost iconic.”

Kereselidze saw similarities between the artists he worked with at Artechouse and the scientists. “We speak the same language,” he said. “We have the passion for expressing what we discovered.” There were some small science exhibits on a mezzanine, but the venue wasn’t trying to be a science museum. Instead, Kereselidze said, “The goal is to open up curious minds. If everything is, like, ‘A, B, C, D,’ it becomes like PowerPoint, right?”

Later, over Zoom, Riki Kim, the executive creative director of Artechouse, explained the meaning behind some of the seemingly disconnected visuals. The floating rocks with glowing inscriptions on them alluded to prehistoric cave paintings; the drifting bubbles represented quantum foam, theoretical fluctuations in space-time. “Every exhibit that we produce is a celebration of a combination of science and technology and art,” she said. Her favorite Webb image, she said, showed the Phantom Galaxy, a spiral galaxy thirty-two million light years away, which the telescope captured using an infrared instrument. Something resembling a blue, glowing eye sits at the center of what looks like a cobweb going down the drain of a black marble sink. She contrasted it with the Cosmic Cliffs and the Pillars of Creation, two regions of nebulae that had also been strikingly photographed. They were like pop stars, she said—winning and charismatic—whereas “the Phantom Galaxy has that rock-star kind of appeal to it. It’s moody. There’s some mysteriousness.”

Kim said that she was moved not just by what the telescope shows us but by how it does so. “There’s decades of humanity’s best efforts in science, optical engineering, you name it” behind the pictures, she said. “That whole process is really inspiring for people who are behind the scenes, like us, the studio team and the designers.” Some of the imagery in the show—such as wiring maps and shards of machinery—is dedicated to the telescope’s engineering. At a high level, Kim noted, the show is about how we’ve experienced light throughout the history of civilization, and about how we keep pushing boundaries to see more of it. “This is our tribute to the technical infrastructure of discovery,” Kim said.

In July of 2022, Ashley Zelinskie, a Brooklyn-based conceptual artist, was at nasa’s Goddard Space Flight Center, in Maryland, when the first Webb images were revealed in the presence of scientists and the media. “It was a very emotional room,” she recalled. “Everybody was very excited and misty-eyed when the images came back.” That October, her solo exhibition, “Unfolding the Universe: First Light” (curated by nasa’s Masetti), opened at onx Studio, in New York City. One piece depicted the telescope itself, with its array of hexagonal, gold-plated mirrors. The 3-D-printed sculpture, “Exploration,” portrays those panels with three arms reaching out, the arms wrapped in the math used to build the telescope. Another 3-D-printed sculpture, “Southern Ring Nebula,” looks like a porcupine crossed with a snake, its loops meant to evoke the eponymous planetary nebula in the constellation Vela.

Some of the art is interactive. The movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” from 1946, includes a telescopic image of five galaxies called Stephan’s Quintet; the Webb produced an updated, high-resolution image of the galaxies, and the grouping reminded Zelinskie of the five figures in Matisse’s painting “La Danse.” She brought them to life by creating her own “La Danse,” a hologram of dancing stars that viewers can control using a motion sensor. Scientists created an image called Webb’s First Deep Field by pointing the telescope at a patch of black sky that was approximately the diameter of a grain of sand held at arm’s length, and collecting light for more than twelve hours; the process revealed thousands of galaxies in layers, each containing light collected at a different band of infrared wavelengths. “The way they described the process, I was, like, ‘Oh, my God, that sounds so much like silk-screening,’ ” Zelinskie said. So she made “Deep Field,” a silk screen of the image. Viewers can place plastic pegs into dark patches of the work, and the pegs light up, conveying the possibility that, if the telescope had looked even longer, it might have found something there, too. “There’s probably a star there, everywhere you look,” she said.

In part because of the telescope’s hexagonal mirrors, stars appear with six points in the images it creates. The points are visible in “She Signs Her Work in Stars,” a 3-D-printed sculpture. “It’s kind of like the telescope signs its own art work—like the telescope is an artist itself,” Zelinskie said. “These images are extremely daunting for an artist to make art work about because they’re just so beautiful. How can we improve upon them?” When the first Webb images were released, Zelinskie didn’t attempt to make art in response to one in particular; she kept returning to an image titled “Cosmic Cliffs,” of the Carina Nebula, for months. “It’s just so breathtaking that I just said, ‘What can I say about it?’ ” she recalled. When we spoke, she was working on a tapestry that she hoped would do it justice.

Zelinskie sees artists and scientists as not so dissimilar; they are people trying to figure out their place in the universe. “Humanity is the universe observing itself,” she told me. “I want people to walk away from my art work just feeling very connected to the universe.”

In the Nineteen-tens, Gustav Holst Composed “The Planets,” an orchestral work inspired not by astronomy but by astrology. Its seven movements focus on Mars as the bringer of war, Venus as the bringer of peace, and so on. (Holst excluded Earth; Pluto had yet to be discovered or demoted.) Despite the suite’s grounding in the zodiac, Wade Sisler, an executive producer at Goddard, once created a film of nasa imagery to accompany “The Planets,” as he has for other musical works. A couple of years ago, Piotr Gajewski, the music director and conductor of the National Philharmonic, in Maryland, decided to flip the process, asking Sisler to create films of stellar imagery which a composer would then score. In May, in partnership with nasa, the National Philharmonic premièred “Cosmic Cycles,” an art work combining images with compositions by Henry Dehlinger. Its seventh movement, “Echoes of the Big Bang,” musically dramatizes cosmological images, including many from the Webb.

Dehlinger looked at the Webb’s version of Pillars of Creation—a nebular area where new stars are being created. The Hubble Space Telescope had photographed the same area, capturing brown, almost opaque appendages, but Webb’s near-infrared camera pierced the clouds and revealed stars within them. “You’re looking at a nursery of stars,” Dehlinger told me. “You’re kind of taking a peek at what the origins of our own solar system might have been like. And you can’t help but feel a certain feeling of love.” When that image appears during “Cosmic Cycles,” the sound ceases. “I used a combination of strings and woodwinds played very pianissimo,” he said, along with “tone clusters that give one a feeling of upliftment.” The strings and woodwinds play off each other, creating a moment that’s both ethereal and imperial.

“That was a classic case of how music followed the emotion that was being generated by the images,” Dehlinger said. Orchestras, he went on, are well suited to conveying multiple feelings simultaneously—something that the space images can also do. “You can have majesty, wistfulness, and ethereality coexist,” he said. “You know you’re dealing with wonderful material when it can elicit more than one emotion.”

Professional artists aren’t the only ones inspired by the telescope’s source material. In 2016, nasa invited twenty-five applicants, including Zelinskie, to visit the instrument while it was under construction at Goddard. Most of them made works based on it for a show called “Art + Science” the following year; among other creations, they produced paintings, poetry, and music. Then, in 2020, Masetti widened the scope of the effort, creating the social-media hashtag #UnfoldTheUniverse and inviting anyone of any age to post photos of themselves and their art expressing what they thought the Webb might uncover. People shared hundreds of pieces, and continue to: there are paintings (and painted fingernails), tree ornaments, a cake, a teapot, and a quilt. “Art is a good way to build bridges,” Masetti told me. “A lot of people think science is hard or isn’t for them. But science can be inspirational, and space is for everyone.”

A few weeks after seeing the Artechouse show, I escaped the city and went to Montana. Looking up at night, I saw how crowded our neighborhood was, on a scale larger than city blocks. The sky was—oh, my God!—full of stars. I felt both small and large, a minuscule component of something majestic. I was seeing the art work that is the universe—and I was part of it. ♦

[nadja-antipaxos]

four - mirrorball

Previously - Three || Masterlist || Next - Five

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: swearing, drinking alcohol, implied panic attack mentioned, mutual pining, cuddling

Note: Thank you so much to anyone who is reading this. I'm not sure how many of you are out there, but thank you. Please leave  comments if you're enjoying it. I've never written a slow burn before and it is difficult. This chapter takes place immediately after 2x06 ends.

Word Count: 3,062

Richmond has had a four game winning streak due to the improvement in coaching. The media calls it the Roy Kent Effect, but Ted likes to see it as they’re all finally working well together giving the team what they need. He doesn’t say much of this to Priyala because he knows she doesn’t understand any of it. She’s just glad they’re doing well.

He invites them to more matches and when they can, they attend them. Diya’s become quite popular at school for all her selfies with the Greyhounds. Due to her flexible writer’s schedule, Priyala sometimes joins the coaches for lunch. If they’re busy, she’ll go out with Keeley and Rebecca. Rebecca tries her best to explain the rules to Priyala, but Keeley’s better at telling her how to fake interest. Most of Priyala’s female friends are writers she’s met at events, so it’s been quite fun to get to know women in other industries.

It comes as no surprise to…anyone that Ted is her closest new AFC Richmond friend. They’re close in age. She’s only a few years younger.  They both understand the single parent thing and she’s able to give some advice as someone who has already done it. Whenever a new family film comes out on a streaming platform, she invites Ted over to watch it with her and the girls, so he’ll know what Henry is talking about. Henry knows all about Priyala, Diya, and Jaya and is excited to have kids his age to see when he visits his dad. They’ve even watched Frozen 2 together on FaceTime. Diya and Henry kept belting “Into the Unknown” back and forth until Jaya threatened to put the phone in her juice glass. The high notes…were high. It’s a little easier when they’re watching a musical and they’re all singing.

Neither Ted nor Priyala have admitted they’re on bantr.  It’s a little embarrassing since they weren’t going to join. And besides, it’s just a digital friendship with a total stranger or so they both think. Nothing serious. They let You’ve Got Mail set the rules, so they don’t use names or talk about anything personal. They talk about movies, books, theatre (imagine Ted’s surprise when she told him about She Loves Me), and music. It seems like a superficial way of getting to know someone, but they both made it clear from the start that they weren’t on the app for sex. They talk about strange things they noticed that day in London. It’s kind of freeing being able to talk to someone intimately with no real-life consequences. It’s not going to get back to anyone and there’s no judgment.  

SirBakesaLot

Dear friend, I’m feeling a little homesick today. Don’t worry I won’t tell you where I’m from. It’s just not Great Britain.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Good. Remember the rules, Sir Bakes. I’m sorry you’re homesick. Any comforts of home you could try today? Like a meal or something?

SirBakesaLot

Yeah, I could rustle something up. Still not the same.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Being homesick just means you really love something. It left an impact. Unless you were run out of town, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t be able to go back. I don’t mind when I get sad. Reminds me I can still feel and it’ll make you cherish it more when you do go home.

SirBakesaLot

You are very wise, Pencils. Oh, not me. I don’t wanna bring anyone down. Bad feelings can just get out.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Don’t push ‘em too far down or they’ll explode on you. Been there. Not pretty. Any fun weekend plans?

SirBakesaLot

I’m good at keeping a tight lid on it. Don’t worry. I gotta work this weekend. Big event coming up.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

I’m working too, but no event. Best of luck. You nervous?

SirBakesaLot

I cannot tell a lie. I am nervous, but it’s not all on me.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Ew. Group project? I hated those. I always got stuck doing all the work.

SirBakesaLot

That sounds awful. My group is a good one. Work well together. I should get moving. Have a nice day, Pencils.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

You too. Talk to you later, Sir Bakes.

On the day of the game of the FA Cup, Diya and Jaya are with Rushil at his parents', out of town, for his mum’s birthday. Diya keeps her informed about the game while she has a busy writing day.  She finishes the first act of the script. It’s definitely a learning curve writing like this.

Priyala meets up with her gorgeous half-sister, Anuradha for dinner. She’s finishing up medical school and the apple of their mother’s eye. Despite their almost twenty-year age gap, they get along very well. They’re a combination of sisters and friends since Priyala was almost an adult when she came along. Priyala’s parents were divorced when she was 6, so bouncing back and forth between England and Boston became very normal. Anuradha has big brown eyes and adorable dimples with a kind and fun demeanor. She’s impossible not to like.

“I cannot believe you of all people are friends with a football manager.” She smiles.

“Don’t worry, I still don’t get it.” Priyala nods. “How’s Gwen?”

“Grad school is driving her up the wall, but she’s good.” Anuradha always gets a cute look on her face when she talks about her girlfriend. “She sends her love to you and my wonderful nieces. I wish they were here!”

“I know, but it was a birthday weekend. Diya’s more upset she couldn’t go to the something cup.”

“She would. Our mum would’ve taken her to the game for her birthday.”

Priyala just laughs.  Their mother liked football a lot more than her eldest and would do anything to make her granddaughters happy.

They order another bottle of wine and discuss the plans for their mother’s upcoming milestone birthday. They part after multiple hugs.

She kicks off her heels and unzips her skirt when her phone lights up. It’s Ted.

“Hey. I heard you won.” Priyala smiles. “Congrats.”

“Hey, uh, yeah, we did.” He sounds off. He should be really excited, right? Instead, he sounds exhausted.

“How are you celebrating?” She raises her eyebrows.

He just scoffs. She doesn’t like this. It sets off her worried mom alarm bell.

“You wanna come over?”

“What? N-No, I couldn’t put this—”

“You didn’t. I did.”

“Um, yeah. That’d be nice. See you in 20?”

“Cool.”

She continues to put on her lounge clothes and washes her face. He’s a friend. She doesn’t have to dress up for this. And he’s seen her without makeup before.  She hadn’t expected to socialize anymore this evening, but he didn’t sound right. While she’s waiting, she looks up the game and sees footage of Ted rushing off the field. His collar is up covering his face and he looks…small. It’s very unlike him to leave at such an important moment. Nate helped them win, but Ted never returned. Twitter debates about whether he’s sick or not. She bites her lip and reminds herself she’s verified with a public account before biting off the heads of some assholes calling him a shitty coach.

There’s a knock on the door and Priyala rushes to it.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

His hair has an errant tendril disrupting its usual perfect look. The circles under his eyes are dark and he’s not even greeting her with a rhyme. It’s the most serious and tired she’s ever seen him.

“Come in.” She opens the door wider.

He shuffles in with his hands in his pockets and looks around. The house seems so quiet without the girls running around. She helps him out of his puffy coat and hangs it up in the closet. He kicks off his sneakers.

“Water? Wine? Whiskey?” She offers as he follows her into the kitchen.

“Honestly? Whiskey sounds great.” He lifts his brow.

She nods and grabs it from the cabinet. He likes her kitchen. It’s not small like his. It’s nice and open. The last time he was in here, he made chocolate chip cookies with her and the girls. That was a lot of fun. He hasn’t had a bad time in this place. It’s a home. Safe. Loved.  She slides the glass over to him on the island.

“Have you eaten?” She’s in comforting mom mode now.

“Yeah.” He takes a sip. A wave of embarrassment rushes over him. “Look, you clearly were ready for a night in. I’m gonna—”

“Leave me in my silent house to watch Splash by myself?”

“Splash, huh?”

“That or Joe Versus the Volcano.”

“Got a hankerin’ for some vintage Tom Hanks,  huh?”

“Yep. You got it.”

“Mermaids or volcanoes?”

“Mermaid.”

Priyala puts the movie on and offers to make popcorn. He doesn’t refuse, but she eats more of it than he does. Their fingers bump a few times and he apologizes. After a while, his muscles relax and he enjoys Eugene Levy’s antics. He crosses his legs. They’re starting to feel cramped. The couch isn’t small. He’s just not used to sharing anymore.

“Do you wanna lie down?” She looks at him. Her observant mom eyes don’t miss a thing.

“What about you?” He furrows his brow.

“Hmm.” She gets up and grabs a pillow from one of the chairs. She places it on her lap. She does this when Diya refuses to admit she’s tired and won’t go up to bed just yet. “This work?”

“You sure?” His brown eyes travel from the pillow to hers.

“Mhmm.” She pats the pillow.

He places his head down gingerly almost like he’s worried she’ll shatter.

“Better?”

“Y-Yeah. Very comfy couch.”

“Good.” Her hand squeezes his shoulder.

Priyala clenches her hand to stop from stroking his hair. He does have great hair. It’s thick and looks soft, but that’d be weird. Maybe it’s just instinct. Yeah…instinct. He takes a deep breath and smells her perfume. Amber and something else—fresh and warm. It’s nice. Comforting.

Ted’s completely out before the movie ends. She can tell from his breathing he needed it. She doesn’t feel like she can ask what happened because she doesn’t want to pry, but at least he’s resting now. She touches his shoulder to wake him when he rolls over. She laughs. He’s not exactly child-sized where she can just lift his head. She really really has to use the bathroom though.

“Hey…” She shakes him gently.

He murmurs and she says his name. His eyes blink open.

“Hmm?”

“I gotta use the—uh—”

“Oh, sorry.” He sits up.

When she returns, he’s fast asleep on the pillow, so she grabs one of the blankets from the ottoman chest and drapes it over him. She hadn’t expected a sleepover, but she’d feel awful waking him. Besides, this is the most innocent sleepover she’s had since she was in high school.

In the morning, Ted isn’t exactly sure where he is. He looks around as his eyes adjust. The space is much larger and far more colorful than his apartment. Then he remembers. He’s at Priyala’s. He looks down at the beautiful silk throw draped over him. She must’ve done this after he fell asleep. He sighs. The panic attack. The appointment with Dr. Sharon. He doesn’t want to think about that.

He hears something in the kitchen. He spots Priyala in a teal robe with oversized black glasses on making coffee. She looks…great.

“Good morning.” She smiles.

“Mornin’. Sorry about the unplanned sleepover.”

“What are couches for? Want some coffee?”

“I’m not really…I only like it if it doesn’t taste like coffee.”

“Aha.” She opens the fridge. “Can I interest you in some creme brûlée creamer? I also have vanilla bean, cinnamon latte, and some random one I don’t remember.”

“Wow.”

“I don’t like my coffee to taste like coffee either. I prefer chai.”

“Oh, no tea at all for me. Not even your fun chai tea stuff.”

“Chai means tea.”

“What?”

“Chai means tea. So chai tea latte is just tea tea latte.”

“Well, knock my socks, Michael J. Fox!”

Priyala laughs. Ted’s back. “Proper masala chai has a lot more flavor than the English’s poor excuse for tea.”

“I’mma take a raincheck on that. Could I get the cinnamon latte creamer?”

“Absolutely. Sugar?”

“Yes. Two please.”

She hands to him and he takes it happily.

“Ooh, ain’t that delish.”

“If you’re hungry, I have cereal or oatmeal. I could make you an egg?”

“Don’t go to all that trouble. Cereal is fine.”

“And if you need a toothbrush, I always keep unopened ones upstairs. Read it in a book once and stole it. Classy, right?” She winks.

“My, my, if you’re not the hostess with the mostess. Classier than a dog in a tuxedo.”

She chuckles and grabs two kinds of cereal from the pantry. Ted points at one. She pours him some cereal and hands it to him. He’s not used to someone taking care of him like this. It makes him feel a little flushed.

“Thank you. You don’t have to go to all this trouble.” He rubs the back of his neck hoping it’ll make the tingling go away.

“Really, it’s okay.” She reaches forward. Her dark brown hand stretches over the top of his white one. He smiles weakly at her and nods. She looks over his hair which is all mussed from sleep. “I like this look. Now you don’t look like Floyd the Barber.”

Ted laughs tucking his chin against his chest.

“That’s a solid Andy Griffith reference.”

She smiles and shrugs her shoulders. Ted finishes his cereal and uses one of her unopened toothbrushes to brush his teeth before he’s ready to go.

“Thanks for all this. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome.”

They step forward at the same time and Ted chuckles. She lifts up on her tallest tiptoes and she puts her arms around his neck. He pulls her a little closer. She sighs. He rests his chin on top of her head and inhales the scent of her perfume. He smiles a little at the idea she put some on before coming downstairs. He tries to place it and doesn’t realize how long he’s been holding her.

His face feels hot and he pulls away hoping she didn’t notice. She just looks up at him with her dark brown eyes. He leans forward only slightly before he catches himself.

“I’ll talk to you later. Have a good Sunday.”

“You too, Ted.”

Back at his apartment, Ted pulls up the bantr app.

SirBakesaLot

Happy Sunday, Pencils.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Happy Sunday, Sir Bakes. How was your work thing?

SirBakesaLot

Went well. Yours?

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Yeah. Fine.

SirBakesaLot

I’m in a bit of a pickle, Pencils. Might need your advice.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Uh-oh. What’s up?

SirBakesaLot

I’m having not so friendly feelings towards a friend. I really wasn’t looking for that kind of thing, but it happened.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Ooof. It’s weird, right? Having a crush on someone? Like we’re not kids.

SirBakesaLot

I sure do get the butterflies just like I’m a kid though. You’re not a stranger to this particular pickle, huh?

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Nope. Dealing with it myself.

SirBakesaLot

Any suggestions?

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

You really like the friendship, right?

SirBakesaLot

Absolutely.

And are you sure your friend has the same feelings?

SirBakesaLot

I’m not sure. They’re a very kind person and it could be…just friendship.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Would it make it awkward? If you brought it up?

SirBakesaLot

If I’m wrong? Most definitely.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Can I take some time to think? I don’t wanna steer us in the wrong direction and our friends.

SirBakesaLot

Yeah. Seems best. You’re very smart, Pencils. Don’t want me to rush in. I respect it.

ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils

Thanks. It’s hard to make friends. Gotta keep ‘em close. But in the meantime, if you need someone to talk to I’m here, Sir Bakes.

SirBakesaLot

Likewise, Pencils.

“Do you think I could get hot pink trainers?” Diya asks as they walk onto the pitch.

“Maybe for your birthday.” Priyala shakes her head. She waves at Ted who meets them.

“Show me the goods, Elle Woods.” Ted crouches down to her level.

She pulls out her maths test and proudly shows off her A.

“Well, look at that.” Ted smiles.

“So, can I?” Diya raises her eyebrows, expectantly.

Ted blows his whistle and the team gathers around him.

“I’m pleased to announce Miss Diya Kokoruda got an A on her test.”

Sam claps loudly and soon the other teammates join in. Diya beams at them, almost melting into the grass.

“I told her if she did that she could kick off the scrimmage and I’m a man of my word. Usual teams. Go get ‘em.”

Diya charges on the field and kicks the ball to Sam.

“You’re really making me Mom of the Year.” Priyala smiles.

“Oh, she deserves it. So do you.” Ted puts his hands in his pockets.

Roy yells pointers at Diya who swoops in and takes the ball from a distracted Jamie. She kicks it too far and it lands next to Jaya. She rolls her eyes, sighs heavily, and punts it across the field surprising everyone.

“Wow.” Ted whistles.

After all that running around, Diya grumbles about her legs no longer working. Ted swoops her up and puts her on his shoulders. She cheers. Jaya looks at her mother.  They leave the pitch and start walking to the Crown and Anchor where Beard will be joining them for dinner. Unbeknownst to any of them, some eagle-eyed photographers snap their walk. The next day, Ted spies a picture of them on some gentleman’s newspaper:

Has Miss Write Found Coach Right?

In the photo, Priyala’s laughing while holding Jaya’s hand and Diya is on Ted’s shoulders.  He shakes his head and walks on. Beard just lifts his brow.

“Terrible, terrible pun game. I don’t even think the New York Post would be that bad.” Priyala laughs when they reach the coffee shop. Ted chuckles and nods. Maybe Pencils was onto something about waiting things out.

[renatedagmarmilada]

Shy mice and jumpy lice

crawls up the circles, the spins with all their sins I have seen and noted and at times, even laughed at, ironically

THE NATION

as sitting by the window teaching mathematics to a young pupil a muslim born over here by the way perusing the mosque built onto the methodist church over the way across from the massive, empty C. of E.

three cars sped by this is the call sign of the lab St Barths Research

they put over this message The nation will never be told what we have done the nation has been told what we have done but has not realised that they have been told and you and those like you, the nation does not listen to

who made the decision about the Princess and the machine at the lab of extremes Anna, lab bossess herself

so all has been said in films and plays in newspaper reports and ads and stuff all around us till I cut off from seeing it all and my heart aches for the human race it is on self destruct now, at high speed when it could have been so great.....

each crime will have fifty variations written sponsored by the lab put onto the media so that no one will ever know anything.

THE LIVING AND THE DEAD

how did they have enough firing power they raped our children

unusual, they don't generally rape just a few of the apes you always get the shooting of the children was a difficulty the communists used children to carry messages what to do let them get through or stop them

and my own father who deserted the german army had served there had two lady friends mother and daugher got caught behind the russian lines in bed with them they dressed him as a woman and led him through

no, but seriously I had two fathers on the eastern front and a whole pile of uncles so heard their stories too

then I began making good friends with russians and began hearing their stories too

then we began to go back home

here is a monument to our heroes it said our poor dead

hey look, there is my dad's name and there is Uncle Stefan and......

all living well with their second families over in the West and we've come to visit the first families

actually I applaud the communist party as I so often do though I am a refugee from there and born into a business family and I mean that from my heart

how could those women carry on living their men gone labelled as deserters and that is not counting those who deserted recently Afghanistan through Italy how could their children go to school and be branded

I have read much of the communist times and we would do well to learn much from them

their corruption was not much more or less than ours just a bit different and more open we, whose are a more secretive bunch of top men and I definately found their society less secretive less scared than ours by far they all talk of all things as general conversation I was shocked into science and visibly paled at what they discussed, quite openly over breakfast coffee

as one fine communist said and I am with this whole heartedly

'we thought of the people to keep them working and living not of the buildings it is the buildings people see not the people and the buildings people judge'

except now everywhere I hear the jobless moaning I was at an Eastern German Uni when communism fell shouted  as they moaned and groaned at me ' what did you think capitalism would be?

communism with freedom to travel well mate, it is not, you claw up the pile in capitalism and if your claws break you get the dole which enables you to eat and buy second hand clothes and bits and pieces of which the country is swimming in..... as we import useless goods to keep good promises made by politicians to keep systems going which are also useless

my advice let mathematicians play maths games not politicians when they do ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS disbelieve anything a politician tells you or anyone or even the media Politician is another term for fibber, liar sometimes, story teller, extended imagination politician person

THREE MILLION FORGOTTEN

no, I am not a denyer but I would like the truth told

american friends keep sending me pictures yes, I believe them concentration camp dead

infact, my own mum shouted in an Austrian butchers one day in forty three: so where are all the jews?

all around shushed her: sh, you'll be next on the trains however the assumption is they were all jewish

now we all know that Hitler sent to mental homes

unwanted aliens (just as here indeed) and three million of the six million in the camps were germans

we know what sort of germans which is why society has tried to change

homosexuals, communists, priests (german ones) the list is endless in death we cannot see nationalities

will someone please start teaching the truth I learnt from a jewish professor from Springfield

to my great pride, former hungarian jews he was the most gorgeous male on the campus and ofcourse one of my lot making me pleased as punch

I had to do a year at Leipzig Uni for languages he taught in the lecture hall

infront of hundreds of german students three million of germans he wrote on the board three million jews about and some slavs

I, being certain I thought, of my facts having had lectures at Roman Road Synagogue in Leeds

Stuck my hand up crossly but nervously (daft yanks!) Sir quoth I outraged, you are wrong it is six million jews, forgetting the Rabbi's anger at praying nuns

no, my dear, he answered, you are wrong and further explained to us all

so why are Americans not being told the truth? since then I have made it my business to know and studied lots putting heart and emotions aside

I am not one of Wagners lot of abstract ideas my lot prefer the comforts of the stomach

nice garments and loving home families to notions or bravery I discovered, which echoed with what my parents had said actual war dead in the Soviet were about five million

actual war dead in China were about three to four million (so said research after they researched and checked properly)

My dad had said if you didn't like someone during the war you had them killed, then shouted it was the germans not counting bullets as some have not having that sort of mind

and as others have before me I went by experiences and words and my mum, now tormented here  by jewish lab workers

missed Theresien stadt by a hair's whisker not once through national loyalties by a Rumanian S.A. man nor will I deny it was a happening

as our beautiful Europe was destroyed to the core nor am I against Americans, even now-

but what is going on when american jewish professors are teaching german kids at german Uni one thing

then their own nation is taught something else? shall we start to draw flags onto the dead?

or would it be better to stop showing the morbid stuff I for one refused to go for a day out to Auschwitz with the others you all know of one Mayor and all the Corporation of whom I told

who got five years hard labour, there were plenty more in the East. (Incidentally, Sir

I still have your book on 'The Blood Libel' but I lost your address. The book is treasured. and some of those german students

a Pole I think she was, played some nasty tricks to stop me reading my Gender thesis and other

as I had got a standing ovation in language from the students. I forgive the Pole as I was rather scathing about the model of the Virgin Mary for Europeans _microsoundit is staying-jewish dead I presume- until the end of the

[longdeco]

Where to watch dofus book 1 julith

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith movie#

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith series#

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith tv#

The music comes to enhance the whole and I therefore order you to go and see this masterpiece of spanish animation, without any chauvinism, that it is a synthesis of the East and the West. We find the graphic touch, inspired by both traditional drawing and manga from the DOFUS universe that I loved in Wakfu, in a cinema adaptation that transcends it. It all sounds perfect and fits together beautifully in a story that made me shed my little tear.

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith movie#

Well, as you can imagine, I loved the movie and the few negatives here are just quibbling and filling.

the story is surprising, moving and fascinating.

the drawing superbly transcribes all situations.

the music of the Orchester National de Lille is magnificent.

I did not understand some private jokes of the MMO.

a little too many boobs and ass but hey?.

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith series#

This last series is also the only medium that can be watched before because it uses the same characters three years earlier.

#Where to watch dofus book 1 julith tv#

This story takes place long before Wakfu and the DOFUS MMORPG and just after the DOFUS TV series, aux treasures de Karabim. It is therefore not necessary to have seen anything else of the universe to appreciate and understand the film. Note also that, as Ankama wishes, the story takes place in the DOFUS universe but at a time different from the stories of other media. On the side of the "bad guys", we find Julith (and yes this film is named after him) and Atcham another very bad cat who, while some dream of adventures, is preparing something terrible which of course endangers the peace of the city of Bonta where our young heroes live.Īnd that will be all you need to know before you go see this movie. These two best friends dream of adventure and Boufballe (the American football of this world) and in particular to look like the superstar of this sport, Khan. Suddenly, not much to say except that this film mainly tells the story of Joris a little "boy" who lives with his papycha, seller of magic objects, Kerubim and sometimes with his friend Lilotte. Know first that my opinion is guaranteed without revelations: I will therefore not disclose the plot of the film or the final outcome. On the occasion of the official release of his film, Ankama is embarking on a major transmedia campaign combining comics, TV series, video games and mobile games! This is the opportunity to give you my opinion on this DOFUS film and the latest information from this universe which continues to grow. Jahash and Julith embrace in ethereal form and float away.I had the opportunity in January to see a preview of DOFUS, Book 1: Julith and I will surely see him again with my son during the next vacation. Julith eventually sacrifices herself in the same way as her husband when she realizes her husband, halfway revived, would not want to be revived at the expense of another. She ignores all pleas for reason, especially from her son and starts the device killing most of the main cast in the process. Julith constructs a contraption powered by the Ebony Dofus to steal the 1000 souls from the spectators of the local arena. She finds the soul of the Ebony Dofus inside her son and almost kills Him (and succeeds in killing Kerub), before discovering Joris' identity. Souls she readily steals from the citizens that betrayed her. Julith returns after finding a way of reviving her husband but at the expense of 1000 souls. In the process Joris attains the soul of the Ebony Dofus and Kerub hides the boy away for ten long years, raising him as his own son. Jahash stopped the madness by smashing his own Dofus against the Ebony one and sacrificing himself. She fell to the ground believed to be dead. When Julith tried calming it the city guard attacked her, believing her the cause of the chaos. Someone (unknown) stole the Ebony Dofus and it is not explained why it went on a rampage. The war ended with a kiss between her greatest rival, Jahash, and from that union Joris was born. Julith led a war against Bonta in the hopes of destroying it. In addition to magic such as using her cape as a shield and weapon, she is seen wielding a long katana in a fight against Kerub Crepin and Bakara Jurgen. Events lead her to re-attaining her Dofu almost at the expense of her son, Joris, unknown to her at the time. She has the Ebony Dofus, in contrast to her future husband, Jahash, who has the White Dofus. Dofus Book 1: Julith Julith is the main antagonist of the movie Dofus Book I: Julith, a Brakmarian Huppermage who has vowed to destroy the city of Bonta.