#you treat me like trash

[screaming--agony]

You bring out the worst in me. I’ve been pretty quiet on a lot, I don’t really like drama but I’m wholeheartedly tired of hearing you play the victim when you won’t take any accountability for anything you said or did. You speak so highly of yourself during a period of time and talk so low and disrespectful to the other person. You twist the truth to fit your narrative and self-sabotage. You keep saying other people cheated and used you. I believe you have a guilty conscience. I was there for you during your dark times, but you gaslit me into mine. I came to you sobbing and all you said was to go cut myself. You never bothered to talk to me or read anything I said, you made jokes and belittled me. I tried so hard to be enough for you but you strayed off to someone else and cheated. I didn’t know about it until recently. Or I wouldn’t have stayed in contact, to be there for you, to give you advice on your relationship that you sucked me into. I wouldn’t have continued to listen. I wouldn’t have let you play me like a fiddle. You act like a Saint and as if you did nothing wrong. But you don’t share the other side, the side where you were toxic. People tried to open doors for you but you didn’t walk through them, you just lit fires at the entrance. You can’t disrespect and belittle your partner and wonder why they closed your door. I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. But things for you aren’t going to change unless you take accountability for your words and actions. Healing is accepting and you don’t accept. You don’t move on. You would probably have a positive mindset if you stopped self-sabotaging. You made me realize a lot in our fallout. I deserve to be heard. I deserve to be understood. I deserve loyalty. You weren’t cheated on. No matter how much you try to spin the facts, you had a loyal partner. Who is now happy in their life, trying to move on. You sucked me into your relationship for so long, I saw everything. Every misunderstanding, every word shared, every heated argument. All of it. I witnessed everything. I could have been your couples therapist. And you try to spin it all even when there’s facts “receipts” to counter your lies and false beliefs. You aren’t a victim. Everything you portray others to be, is what you are. It’s who you are. It isn’t okay to treat a human like they are less than dirt. It’s never okay to tell someone to cut themselves or go die. It’s never okay to call someone hateful names during an argument or take low blow jabs with information you were told in private to use it against them. I always hoped that you would be the positive person I thought you could be but you keep showing me that you won’t ever change. You won’t ever have self-reflection or healing unless you accept it all. I’m not saying you are a bad person, you do have good qualities and there’s moments where there is positivity. But your lies. Your victim act of being cheated on and used and lied to. You did it all, willingly and repeatedly. You never admit your wrongs. I never cheated on you. I loved you unconditionally. I put your wants first and put mine on the back burner. I never tried so hard to make things work. No relationship is perfect. But I deserve better. And I found a better influence. No cheating involved. Time passed and simple communication happened. I found a person who is understanding and wants to understand when things aren’t clear. I found a person who doesn’t make me feel like I want to die. I found a person who doesn’t make me feel like a burden when my anxiety is high, they are there for me and reminding me to breathe. I know all the stories you spin are lies because you threw me into your relationship when things were rocky. I know if you took accountability for yourself, maybe you could finally heal instead of dwelling and entertaining thoughts that aren’t real. You said to stay out of your life which I would love nothing more but you keep popping into mine. So maybe stay out of my life? Respectively fuck off.

[stevefightmerogerss]

sebastian every time he's given the opportunity to talk about his experience filming avengers endgame & how he was kept in the dark the whole time:

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[salemontrial]

Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

[shoujo-dump]

Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomade mo

[rokso-o]

nghhhhhh he is sooooo VERY GORGEOUS TO MEEEE 😣‼️‼️

— no cos why is he highkey SERVING all the time?! ATE AND LEFT ABSOLUTELY NO CRUMBS???????

[notthebeststufftbh]

Do you sometimes see a woman wronged by The Men for like her looks or other bs and you can only think damn. The women lovers would eat her alive. Worship her.

[nexo-nex]

If we ever get an eah reboot i want more diversity ill die on this hill, cause the blatant racism and colorism eah has in it really throws me off a lot. And also they will get torn to shreds if they dont fix their diversity problem in the dolls in this current era

[hella1975]

so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I can't imagine how quality my life would be if people were willing to listen to niche, incredibly strange cornered personalities. I'm such an interesting person, but people don't speak my language 98% of the time and nobody cares to unless you speak the mainstream, boring oversaturated languages that people speak with celebrity pop culture, influencers, and the so forth. The worthlessness that I feel from not being able to fit into mainstream society has made a black mark. Still, the niche incredibly strange personality persists.

I'm just a incredibly strange mentally ill, genuinely schizophrenic incredibly imaginative maladaptive daydreaming mentally ill person who cannot tell fantasy from reality, but I feel like it could have been so much more than that if society had spaces for more niche corners like us to speak.

[hanakihan]

sometimes I’m sad how SVSSS did Shen Jiu dirty considering he was such a perfect villain bitch that had understandable background but it absolutely didn’t excuse his behavior, truly a man who could’ve looked at life form different angle when given a second chance

and then apparently he gets yeeted out of his own body without any information on whatever the fuck he’s even existing anymore

like yea i like SVSSS but dear god Shen Jiu was a fucking golden mine and the way he oh so conveniently got yeeted out of story makes me fucking sad

[tender-rosiey]

god forbid ever comes a day where I have to rely on my brother 🙏

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:

the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.

[egg-emperor]

Eggman not even caring to remember Starline's name even after everything with him being the one to bring him back to his real self and the way he was the death of him is very juicy. especially after some deep Staregg/Eggline thinking the other day and was gonna post soon hehehe

[ehh-is-the-name]

It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.

I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.

I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.

I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.

It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.

[twistedappletree]

AINT NO FUCKING WAY