#you're literally so insane about MK it's not even funny

[imminent-danger-came]

tbh you are so real for talking about the misogyny targeted to mei & other women in the lmk fandom. in general its like people only value mei as: a: the wingman to some basic mlm ship or b: macaque 2.0. its honestly crazy how so many male side characters overshadow her in the fanbase despite not even having a FRACTION of her screen time. idk chat i feel like the reason people dont care about mei but care about some random male side/background character is less because they're inherently more likeable but because some of you view women as inherently less likable. and everyone is always like "mei is so girlboss pussy cunt slay shes the only reason theyre still alive because she keeps them safe from their silly boy shennanigans shes their ultimate wingman shes so badass shes their lesbian best friend i totally paid attention to her when i watched this show LOL" and even ignoring the obvious misogyny here (ie. how people reduce her to being the male characters babysitter) its like... okay... i know mei is cool & badass already... could you name literally ANY other character trait she has. like people just value her as being "the braincell" who can get red son and mk together or something stupid and its like are we having fun still is this still fun. literally every day i go into the mei tag its like "look at mei shes red sons wifey and shes vaguely in the background of this drawing of red son and mk staring into each others eyes #trafficlighttrio am i right oh look shes macaques niece now this post is about ao lie why is it in the mei tag"

and thats literally JUST talking about mei and it doesnt even begin to cover the other female characters. chang'e constantly gets reduced to being red sons aunt/mom/big sister despite them like. not having any actual interactions in the show. lady bone demon constantly gets overshadowed by her minion who has like 2 seconds of screen time, or she gets made into a cartoonishly abusive madwoman who people call lady bitch demon. just in general people act like shes a horrible person for like. being a villain. liks yeah the trying to destroy everything was bad but also she was an antagonist and thats what antagonists do LOL. spider queen gets completely ignored. princess iron fan gets made into a cartoonishly abusive mother so that way red son can have a poor angsty backstory and some male character (usually nezha, macaque, swk) can take care of him.

(also theres just a great deal of ethnocentrism in the lmk fanbase? like im white so take what İ say here with a grain of salt but so many people will misconstrue aspects of chinese culture for their own personal hcs. people will say male characters are transfem or nonbinary while completely ignoring the time period/culture their from where thats the norm. like yippee youve implied that an east asian man is feminine/emasculine because he has long hair. how do you not see the negative connotations with this. people also turn pif (& lbd to an extent) into a dragon lady which obviously has negative racial connotations lol.)

anyway this is where my unhinged rambling ends have a good day have a good night İ had more to say here but İ reached the text limit. İ dont see a lot of people talk about the misogyny thats prevalent in the lmk fanbase so İm glad youre pointing it out lol.

Yeah, I totally hear you. The lmk fandom has plenty of issues with misogyny and, like you said, ethnocentrism. It's definitely something worth having a discussion about, along with these issues in fandom as a whole.

[beauleifu]

Hello! Can you write a oneshot or a headcanon (platonic, ofc) about Macaque with a reserved but also very outgoing child? (like those kids that are calm and reserved but if you mention something they really like they just go off and start rambling all happy and excited)

I had this idea in my head for a little while, I think it'd be really funny and wholesome if he just appeared at Pigsy's Noodles w/ his child and everyone's like "wh- YOU'RE A DAD??? WHEN??? HOW????" and he just watches with that Tired Parent Look™ as his kid stares directly at MK and goes "YOU'RE THAT MONKIE GUY ON THE TV!!!"

Sorry for any errors! English is not my first language, I apologize for the long text aswell, I'm just an absolute sap for the "tired but loving dad" trope also you can totally delete my ask or skip it if you don't want to write it!! Thank you either way, your writing is wonderful :) !

All right! *cracks fingers, snaps neck- whoops-*

You got it anon! Sorry for not answering this ask sooner, I realized headcanons are easier to write than an actual oneshot considering the limited time I have to write nowadays. But I hope you enjoy, and thanks for the ask! <333

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUE X CHILD!READER

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: Long ago, a wise old monkey had taken you under his wing, to train you and teach you the ways- okay, let's save the theatrics for later, that's Macaque's thing. Your father figure. Honestly, he's growing on you, and it's starting to show now that people are pointing it out.

TW: None!

HEADCANNONS

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Macaque doesn't normally take you somewhere where conflict is bound to arise. He'd prefer someplace more peaceful, like a park/museum/theater. Unless, of course, he's in the mood for adventure and will literally take you skydiving without a permit.

Totally the irresponsible dad. He's protective as FUCK, let's make that clear, but in the end he trusts you to take care of yourself

perhaps a bit too much, and even you think that

He'll encourage you to pet that snake

He'll give you the thumbs up if you wanted to climb to the top of the weather tower during a thunderstorm

Like "Go get 'em, (Y/N)! Make your father proud!"

With such a dramatic character when it comes to encouraging you, Macaque will become insanely tired. He'll be snoring on the couch and won't wake up even if you stacked all the furniture in the house on his back

Speaking of the house, he and you live far away from any danger

This guy didn't know jack shit about being a dad at first (you kind of hat to teach him, oh how the turns have tabled) But once he understood the basics, he took the reins, eager to impress you and earn your respect. Macaque isn't usually a sucker for developing any relationship with Earthly figures, but you were the only exception. He'd lay awake at night thinking if he's making the right choice, then slapping himself for even considering abandoning you. You are too precious.

Which is why he's totally, utterly wrapped around your little finger

So when you ask to get take-out at Pigsy's Noodles, it doesn't take much effort to sway his stoic resolve

"Dad. Pops. Papa. Father of mine," you say, grabbing his face, looking a lot older than you actually are. "Please!"

Since Macaque can't turn his face to the side (squished as it is), he sighs dramatically and closes his eyes. You catch the faint, irritated twitch of his tail, but that's about the only hint of Fed-Up Parent you can detect.

"(Y/N), Megapolis is miles away."

"You have shadow magic!"

"You can't just abuse my powers, especially now that you've decided to abuse yours," he grunts, albeit grinning at you. He' loosing.

Triumph fills your chest. "I can handle it! Uncle Pigsy would love to see me!"

"Uncle!?" Macaque splutters, finally escaping your grip. Shocked eyes blink down at you. "Sweetheart, you haven't even met Pigsy, you've only seen him from afar."

You blink up, flaunting those devil-may-care puppy eyes.

Oh, he hates it when you do that.

"Puh-lease! I'll do anything! i'll scratch your back! Do my chores before games! I-I'll stay out of your secret stash of peaches!" You gasp, flopping down on the soft carpet lining the floor. You consider the intricate pattern for a moment, then mutter under your breath; "Even though you said you hate those. . . ."

Macaque fixes you with a stern look. "You know about that, huh?"

"Mayyybe."

Like I said, not that much effort. The guy may be invulnerable to harm at best, but his immortality falls short under your tactics. Persuasive skills that he taught you to use.

Sucks how plans backfire, huh?

When you two do get to the shop, however, Macaque goes into full parent-mode

He doesn't care if you think it's uncool, you're holding his hand and that's that. He'd get you one of those child harnesses but thank the stars you'd convinced him you're worth more than such a humiliating child-control device.

So in you go, holding hands, Macaque glaring at anyone who spares you a curious glance.

When Macaque sees who's at the counter, he almost does a 180 out of there

It's MK.

Of all people.

He hasn't seen the two of you yet, though. You feel Macaque's paw tighten over your small, nimble fingers, and you can't help but squeeze back in return, asking a silent question.

It's times like these where you don't know what to do. You're still a child, even if this was your idea.

But then you spot who's at the counter

and At the same time, Pigsy comes 'round the corner with a giant tray of noodles- fit for the exact number of people surrounding the Monkie Kid. Suddenly, Macaque realizes who all is there.

This guy

Parent-Panic-Pro

The literal Monkey King is the first to turn head, eyes landing on Macaque first. You can tell instantly his fight-or-flight response just kicked in; shoulders tensing, teeth baring, eyes widening (oh yes, typical ex behavior- HAHA)

Then, all heads are turning.

And Monkey King's eyes land on you

Macaque steps in front of you, form tense and on high alert. "Heyyyy," he says, awkwardly.

The Monkey King tilts his head, perhaps confused as to why his old friend is protecting a little kid. Then he realizes. Poor guy connects the dots, lets out an unholy gasp of astonishment, and points and the both of you

"YOU. YOU- AND THEM- MACISTHATYOURKID-"

Pandemonium.

At least, in the most gentle context. MK and his friends do a double take, the Monkey King is gaping and trying to figure out who could ever love Macaque to result in this- and your dad just completely gives up. He gives you this look, like 'see why I was against bringing you here'

And you know. And your eyes say sorry, that you'll make it up to him later

Typical silent father/child communicating

(you guys are really good at that, communicating through your eyes or expressions. it helps in crowds)

That is, until your eyes fall on MK and realize for the first time that he's actually there

And Macaque's face falls into an impossibly disappointed facade (really, he's happy you're socializing) as you let go of his hand and prance right up to MK, eyes literal stars.

Thank goodness for MK, for he's kind and patient enough to let you blabble and gush on about how cool he is and how you've stayed up to date on the latest chaos he's incited (poor dude looks a bit downcast at that)

Funny how you went to such a well-behaved, shy kid to an energetic hyper-fixated gremlin in two seconds

All the while, Pigsy is listening, Monkey King corners Macaque and quietly demands answers (the two of them talk in the background for awhile as you socialize)

Noodles are served

There's just so many people in Pigsy's Noodles that the owner himself couldn't keep track of who ordered what, so everyone just got the same thing- and lots of it

In the end, you're all sitting down at the table (everyone had worked together to gather as many spare tables/chairs as possible to sit together at one huge-ass table)

You insisted you sit with Mei and MK in order to interrogate them about their adventures

OF course, you mean well, and they know that. And Macaque never pulls you aside because he likes seeing you like this, it makes him happy knowing you're indulging in the things you love, and he deosn't have the heart to tell you it's almost time to go home.

So you stay there for awhile, chatting with Mk and his friends

You get to know Pigsy (he doesn't mind being called your uncle, said at this point he's practically everyone's uncle or dad)

But alas

You're bit a child

And towards the end of the night, aftter everyone is stuffed full of noodles, you're conked out in your chair, slumped and snoring softly, eyes fluttering from dreaming

Everyone glances at you, how fucking adorable you are

Macaque straightens, clears his throat, says it's time for him to leave

Sun Wukong stops him for a moment, just to say

"Keep them safe, Mac."

Of course, like the #1 Dad he is, Macaque snorts. "I think I know more about raising a kid than you do, Wukong. I'll . . . see you out there."

Then he picks you up, carefully, so you stay sleeping, and walks out

but not before turning around to thank everyone for dinner

For once, they offer smiles (some are weaker and less meaningful than others, but props for trying. Macaque is kinda responsible for a lot of pain in their lives, anyways)

You don't register any of it, too full of noodles and new information regarding your idols

Macaque knows he'll never hear the end of it

Perhaps that's a good thing, considering the fond smile on his face as he gently carries you home, lays you in bed, and pulls the covers over your snoring form. He eagerly awaits the morning to which you'll wake him up excitedly ranting about tonight, about how you want to do it again

And he's wrapped around your little finger, so if course he'll listen to you

this guy would move the world for you

[cerastes]

I think at least for me Schwarz is in the same boat as Tomimi: I recognize the horny design, but she's too funny for me to be horny about. She's not nearly as funny as Tomimi, don't get me wrong, but I just love this like, born and raised assassin who met this upper-middle-class bookworm with a parasol and because the bookworm didn't know any better to be scared of her Schwarz decided she had no choice but to simp.

No no you're right, Schwarz IS funny.

Schwarz was a normal kid that HAHA THAT'S A LIE She is originally from Rim Billiton and her parents were ore traders, but then one day they got scammed into buying not Whatever Ore They Wanted but Originium Ore instead, which 1) they didn't deal with and 2) got Schwarz infected. So they went to complain like "hey you scammed us" and the scammers were like "the customer is always WRONG" and killed them, then grabbed Babby Schwarz and sold her to slavery, where she was purchased by a mercenary group that trained her to be the Ultimate Child Assassin later Ultimate Assassin in general, and they were like "Ok, we finally can take on this big job! We're going to kill the Mayor of Siesta! And for that, we need our BIGGEST GUN" and who else would be the gun of sizeable heft if not Schwarz?

So Unfailing Super Assassin Schwarz confronts the Mayor, and the Mayor says "hey, you are pretty good at this, you should be my daughter's bodyguard" and Schwarz was like "literally why" and Majorman was like "better pay, better life, I have a cute daughter your age" and Schwarz was like "bet" and well, she did just that, but they don't tell Ceylon ANY of this, so as far as Ceylon knows, Schwarz is just her weird stoic lovable bodyguard friend gal pal who makes really good tea and also for some reason can destroy entire armored platoons with just a crossbow but otherwise totally normal.

What you have to remember is that Ceylon is a scholar, an academic, a researcher, she's high int, but definitely low wis, because you know she has witnessed Schwarz go full John Wick With A Pen on at least six different people and all Ceylon could think was "Wau! I can't wait to go home so we can continue watching Utena :D" like, this was NORMAL for Ceylon, this was normality, no wonder she sees every freak at Rhodes Island and is like "this is a peaceful place with kind inhabitants, a true and tried pharmaceuticals company cut from the finest of cloths!", when your frame of reference for normality is SCHWARZ, of course you'll witness Specter chewing on reinforced metal, Ifrit burning entire hallways in a bout of rage, Shamare playing medium to the forces of the abyss, and Lappland eating a Kitkat wrong and be like "this is literally just Tuesday". Ceylon probably believes Shalem is a normal guy.

It gets even worse/better when you realize that Schwarz was getting MK Ultra Superassassin training when she was like 8.

Schwarz has 20 years of combat experience. That's an insane amount!

But she got infected when she was 6! Which means she was sold to slavery and subsequently trained to be Solid Snake Catgirl around the time when she was maybe 8 or so! NO WONDER Schwarz looks at all the freaks at Rhodes Island and is like "haha oh wow you are all freaks I respect literally every single one of you" LIKE YEAH OK SCHWARZ, THEY ARE FREAKS, but not you, oh, no, not you, you are only accomplishing what all these people manage with extreme dimensional-reality warping powers and super unholy magic, by simply being that good with your crossbow. Schwarz' superpower is literally "is REALLY good with a crossbow" and it matches and surpasses people with fucking reality altering powers or control over gravity or what the hell ever, Schwarz is a fucking riot, she really said "Wow! I never thought I'd see anyone like you people!" well yeah no one would expect a single catgirl with a crossbow to fucking blow up the Pentagon singlehandedly if she could, Schwarz definitely has the sheer firepower and skill for it, just because she's THAT good at Crossbow.

[scalproie]

omg plz do 13, 16, and 25 for the violence ask meme on tekken FWKJFK sorry for so much im just interested to hear ur thoughts!!!

13. worst blorboficiation

Objectively, Lee is the "least evil" mishima and congrats to him for leaving (tho forcefully) that fucked up family and yeah his childhood sucked big time and I have to respect the hustle of him rebranding himself into the funny "excellent" flamboyant guy but GOD he somehow successfully tricked everybody into forgetting that he is also very not a good person. I KNOW we are starving for positive relationships in tekken but he is very much as egoistical and self-interested as the rest of his family, kazuya is his brother only by name only and lee not only doesnt care about him nor their father and he would happily throw him or both of them under the bus to get ahead LIKE HE IS DOING NOW BY WORKING WITH LARS AND JIN AGAINST KAZUYA. Lee could not have inherited raw power from heihachi so he got his manipulativeness, sketchyness and charisma, and lets not talk about how the devil gene is alienating both kaz and jin so there is no way lee could even keep up with that. But if he could I really doubt he would still be regarded as the meme man that he is now. I love lee but I feel like the only person that can see smth sinister lurking under the surface thats funny and approachable and even has friends. Thats not a negative btw I love that about lee but the overly kindness I see from people's interpretation of him sometimes take me out. Hes better, but hes still not good, yknow?

(as for mk im just slipping it there bc its fresh in my head, johnny cage holds the really heavy burden of being the only somewhat comical main character in a sea of dramatic people so he is doomed to be mischaracterized I think. Either hes treated TOO seriously and it feels... wrong in a way I cant explain OR he is subject to comical whorification. But thats just me hating fun I guess.)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Heihachi has the worst fucking development in tekken 7 it genuinely makes me insane that some people would enjoy this botched attempt of sympathy toward him, all while making fun of his original reasonning like "haha lions dont push their cubs off cliffs" WE KNOW its a traditional asian misconception that even has a name and it makes sense bc heihachi is old school but also ITS NOOOT ABOUT THE LITERAL LION THING ITS A METAPHOR ITS ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND TOXIC MASCULINITY GNGNHGNH and its BETTER than a hypothetical witch trial that makes NO SENSE bc HEIHACHI YOU THREW THE KID SAYING THAT IF HE SURVIVED, HE HAD THE EVIL IN HIM. AND THEN YOU RAISED HIM??? WHAT??? Its stupid. I hope he stays dead goodbye forever funny cockroach grandpa.

(mk break again but you genuinely have to explain 80% of the mk ships to me. Maybe its me being idk, a shipping paladin or smth and took an oath to the One True Pairing or whatever and im now blind to the rest but yeah I dont see the majority of it.)

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

EVERYONE SPEAKING THEIR OWN LANGUAGE AND EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER DESPITE THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST THING ABOUT TEKKEN. FUCK YOU IF YOU WANT AN ALL JAPANESE OR ENGLISH DUB. ITS ORIGINAL ITS INTERESTING ITS GOOD TO HAVE CHARACTERS SPEAKING ACTUAL FRENCH, SPANISH, PORTUGESE, KOREAN AND OTHER IN A MAINSTREAM VIDEOGAME. FUCK YOU FOREVER IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY OR IF ITS "WEIRD" TO YOU BC ITS NOT REALISTIC, BORING BITCH.

ALSO "NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE PLOT" I DO!!! I DOOO!!! IM NOT GONNA LOWER MY STANDARDS FOR THEM TO MAKE A GOOD SATISFYING STORY JUST BC YOU CARE MORE ABOUT EVO TOURNAMENTS, MICROFRAME DATA, AND IF YOUR WAIFU MAKE IT BACK IN THE MAIN ROSTER.

[haloblue]

Rant, Rant, and more Rant.

It's funny that whenever I go to Ao3 I have to sift through hundreds of fic's that don't baby and just blindly 'forgive' Macaque for all the shit that he did. Like when I do see the one out of a thousand that call him out, at first all the comments are like:

'Oh wow! Yeah, you tell him. That sad emo deserves it.'

But the minute they realize that their psychopath little emo monkey isn't going to be redeemed they immediately dip.

Like, girl, how can you go all 'Oh my god! Yeah someone needs to tell him off' then leave when you realize that one, someone doesn't have to accept you're apology no matter how sincere it is. And two, Macaque never put in the work to actually apologize.

The honest to god 'excuses,' because that's what they really are at this point, that fans of his make to defend his actions are wild.

'He was best friends with Wukong.' That was Bull King, not him. The writers purposely changed it because they probably realized that fans got too attached to Macaque and wanted them to keep watching the show.

'They had a good relationship before Wukong ruined everything.' All Macaque did was voice his opinion and Wukong had other friends other than Macaque. Again, the only reason the writers probably made them best friends is because they were demon monkies and because of the trope 'no longer friends because of our bad past.' Remember one of the show writers admitted that they 'changed' the original story to make it 'flexible.'

'But Macaque was just trying to help him.' It literally says in his bio that he choose to follow the path of evil. There is no evidence of that (They'll probably add it, not even for the story's sake, but just to please the fans in the new season.)

These are always the arguments that I hear. I finally realized that the reason they sounded so ridiculous was because they were made up. There is no evidence other than the brotherhood episode where Wukong and Macaque were good friends. They even wrote in Macaque's bio that he was evil but the writers just love to make repeated scenes where Wukong is being yelled out for 'being evil' when Macaque actively choose to do bad things.

It's honestly just pure favoritism at this point. Because another 'defense' that I've heard is that it's okay for Macaque to torture and hurt MK and everyone else is because he had a bad past.

Excuse me, what?

A bad past? Literally everyone in the show has some sort of bad past. Why is Macaque the exception?

I can't even read some of these fics about him because their honestly just so painful to read.

Macaque is so babied and easily forgiven. Meanwhile, they write Wukong as this evil dictator who deserved to be punished not for fighting against heaven but just purely for hurting Macaque.

On god I've seen tweets and fan arts of 'fans' say stuff like: They should kill Wukong and make Macaque MK's new teachers because he's less manipulative.

Kill Wukong. A highly respected and beloved figure and they want the writers to kill him off.

Do you know how crazy that sounds.

Also, less manipulative? Macaque's literal characterization is that he's a copycat. An actor. A liar.

I'm honestly baffled at some of these fans.

Usually I ignore them and just keep to my own personal bubble. But the fact that the show writers themselves are changing the show just to feed the fans is honestly so sad. And worse they outright ignore everything about Journey to The West just to placate these fans.

It's sad but not surprising. I mean the show was created just to sell more lego's in china. I don't know how that's going, but the fact that I've seen fans of Journey to The West and scholars get harassed because Macaque fans don't like that their 'uwu emo hurt baby murderer' get portrayed like his actual character is insane.

I said this before but I honestly have no hope for the new seasons. They did a little better in season four but that's not a good thing in itself. I mean it took them three seasons just to make a decent one. And every season they just have to add Macaque and give a 'hint-hint, wink-wink' to the fans suggesting that him and Wukong had a 'romantic relationship,' even though the writers swore they don't support any ships.

Its just sad and annoying. I want to learn more about Journey to The West because there is a lot to learn about it and its just plain cool. But I want to do it and not have to mute or read thousands of posts about how much their shadow murder monkey deserves redemption and that Wukong deserves to be punished or worse, killed.

Its sad, annoying, and just heartbreaking to watch. The show could have been great but it wastes its time appeasing fans and writing nothing but anime tropes. When we could have gotten something like the lego ninjago movie. You know something fun and interesting.

But it doesn't matter now. They got another season coming and twitter and tumblr is filled to the brim with Macaque apologists and fan art. Don't know how things will go but I wish the best of luck to the remaining fans who have some shred of hope for the writers to change the season and make it better. You guys are a lot more hopeful than me I'll give you that.