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#you're the best band and I will never stop hating you for it
breathinlove · 9 months
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band!ellie 2 headcanons and smau
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read this
sinopse: ellie williams is the lead singer in a band (+some texts with her).
cw: nsfw after the texts with warning! swearing, explicit, reader works in a record store and ellie's a simp, not explicit if reader is fem or masc.
part 1
band!ellie who made it unbelievable for dina and jesse to believe she found her girl, but then they met you.
“this shit's cringe as fuck, but you two are sweet…” jesse starts and dina immediately agrees. “yeah, she's perfect for you, el.” “i knowwwww, i need her.” jumping like a teenage girl fr...
band!ellie who sometimes thinks her bandmates like you way too much.
“invite y/n to the next rehearsal too for real.” jesse says after you leave a rehearsal you went to. “okay man i get it, she's amazing.” with an annoyed expression. “so… invite her.” dina chuckles. “no, i don't want any of you jumping on my girl.” but she does invite you anyway.
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band!ellie who's so stupid tbh, she's gonna sign girls’ tits after concerts and act all oblivious when you swerve her kisses.
and swerving her is so fun istg, she's gonna try like 4 times before she's upset. UPSET! (she will go non verbal).
band!ellie who's the type to perform and glance at you like you're about to have sex right that instant (u will, after the concert tho!).
band!ellie who's a singer herself but turns on the tv and pretends to be the weeknd for you.
band!ellie who wishes she could rap… actually, no. she thinks she can.
"that was... something." you smirk and she scoffs, throwing herself on the couch she was standing on, mic in hand. "i'm literally in my rapper era but whatever, you'll see." and you're full on laughing. "don't laugh." and you come hug her and say she's so so special.
band!ellie who makes it so you can't open x (twitter) without seeing girls mourning your girlfriend… she's alive not single tho!
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band!ellie who's always late for everything, but she tries her best istg. you and the band are TIREDDD.
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band!ellie who's nervous about pda… but she likes it, showing everyone you're hers and she's yours.
band!ellie who made a slideshow about how you should move into her apartment… that was kinda like:
“REASONS FRRRR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯
ALL OF THEM 🤣
we're literally soulmates so we gotta be roommates too???
countless sleepovers omg i'm crying!
i'll never be late again (kinda😬)
we can get a pet tg 😯
i'll get to listen to u sing in the shower more and you know i like hearing you and singing with you while im in the toilet or even outside the bathroom
passionate lesbian sex before sleeping, after eating, doing the dishes, the laundry ALL THE TIME
i love you the most and i want you close all the time
you love me back (i hope) so you gotta want me close too
i want you as my wife asap
think about it, thanks and please my love ❤️”
you moved in… weak mf but can anyone blame you??
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band!ellie who loves cooking with you for friends and family when they come over. just loves being with you in general but even house chores are better with you??
band!ellie who comes to disturb see you at your job, your bosses hate her and said they were gonna stop selling their album 😒 (they actually love her).
band!ellie who switches from your serious cool rockstar girlfriend to your silly baby girlfriend in a second.
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band!ellie who reposts them and comments under edits fans make of you, even more than her own edits.
“that's my baby so stop gawking.(jk)” “whats her @” “id repost but my gf would be jealous, shes hot asf 🤤🤤” “THAT'S MY GIRL” “creamed💔” "straight to the y/n folder" someone said “ellie cant handle allat” and she replied fr “true, she the one handling me 💯💢” SHE HAS NO CHILL...
band!ellie who pays the same attention to potential hate you'd get, she will block them… don't talk about her girl.
nsfw (cw: cunnilingus [e and r!receiving], fingering [e and r!receiving]. switch!ellie!!!!).
band!ellie who treats you like a star
you were supposed to be in the shower but ellie saw you stripping out of your clothes and she has to ask to kiss your clit, dropping to her knees. her fingers bruising your thighs and shes eating you out as if she'd been starving. you cum but she's not satisfied yet, she pulls you down on the bedroom carpet with her "give me another one, please." hands roaming your skin ever so softly, sending shivers down your body. she asks what you want, the position, how many fingers, she just needs to please you. and now she's on top of you, pounding you with her fingers and pressing down your lower stomach because she just wants you to cum again.
band!ellie who loves sleepy sex
she's gonna be in bed with you, almost asleep asking you for kisses, then for some touches... and you end up between her legs, sloppy nasty head and some slow fingering. your lips around her clit and kissing her pussy lips and slit and your fingers in and out her pussy. she's whining and squealing, playing with her own tits and caressing ur face. you're humming against her pussy and she's clenches "let go for me, ellie..." you coo and she squirts on your mouth and fingers. soft pants leaving her lips, soon stopping with her caresses on your face as you lick her cum. you look up, hair messy against the pillow and eyes closed. "i love you..." she mutters after you clean her and lay next to her "i love you." you spoon her.
a/n: this is kinda shitty but it's for who asked for more! @kyleeservopoulos @sameenatruther @harrysslutsstuff
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soulren · 1 year
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Go spend some time on male pattern baldness or male(AMAB) balding forums/subreddits and such. I did after realizing it is happening to me and the ammount of people who truly don't realize how BRUTALLY it tanks people's confidence and mental health is insane.
There's no cure to baldness by the way, and it can start at any time and there's no way to predict how fast or slow it will go. The only real working option is a daily pill that usually just halts it, but it can stop working or just slow it down or cause major side effects. To regrow you have to use a daily topical solution, or use a roller to wound your scalp. None of these are surefire by the way, and if you stop them you'll just lose your hair and whatever you regained. It's a daily involved thing that might not work and often at best just retains. The best drug, the one that occasionaly gives regrowth, also causes shedding at the start, and can have side effects from growing breasts to brain fog to EDsyfunction(sorry, censoring cause tumblr). Now, those are INCREDIBLY rare and almost never happen but it weighs heavily on the mind of those already spiraling.
But that's just background. What I'm here to talk about is the pure woe you'll see on those forums. People speak as though their lives are over, as though they've lost every chance of finding a woman(predominantly, there's a running idea in such places that women don't like bald men or like them less) or doing anything. You can read countless stories of people who describe that they no longer go outside, are now filled with anxiety and self-hate, have gone from extroverted to never showing their face. And some of these people are kids who lost their hair in high school or even before, or are holding as best they can to a very receded hairline and feel like there is nothing they can do.
And then there's something touched upon far less in those communities, but is important to bring up here; baldness and masculinity. There's the horror of knowing so much of society sees a bald guy as a very masculine guy, at seeing that the best advice for being hot and bald is "grow and beard and big muscles bro". Imagine now you're AMAB balding and nonbinary, or a trans woman who doesn't want to be on hormones.
Just genuinely take the time to look at those forums no matter who you are. Understand what these people go through, what I am currently going through. It is soul-crushing, spiraling, brutal. I have the dream of one day being like Brennan Lee Mulligan or Matt Mercer and starting to lose my hair made me feel like I could never. I felt like and still feel like I would have to be masculine, have to be a bro-y dude, have to look older than I was(I'm fuckin 22). It was the feeling that I could never dress feminine again, never present as a woman when I wanted to again, that I'd always be viewed as a bald guy before anything else.
This is an incredibly vulnerable post for me, and I hope it reaches you all as well in a kind and understanding mood. There's a tendency online for people to joke about baldness, to make fun of it, to treat it as a playfull silly thing but it fucking ruins lives, and it shouldn't. It happens to half the population's sort of bodies and very often. It should just be a neutral thing. You don't need long hair to be feminine, you don't need hair to be feminine. You don't need hair for anything. I guess I'm just saying in general that everyone should be kinder about balding, more understanding, and view it with as much import as they'd view the pixels between this sentence and the next. None at all, I mean.
And for those like me, very feminine guys who wanna keep that and don't want a beard and are terrified of balding, here's some names and I do hope others that see this will add more; Mr. Bruce (also in The Correspondents(band) Alex Ward in LA By Night Jason Carl in LA By Night Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale Bob The Drag Queen RuPaul(in looks alone, I know about the whole fracking stuff but this post is about looks) tananasho on instagram Also your mannerisms and style of dress will convey femininity far more than your hair. Yea sure a front-on neutral shot of you may not and maybe you need makeup and stuff, and hell maybe a lot of people might reject you more but it'll just filter down to the people for you.
And to all you artists and writers and creatives; make more bald characters. Try it out. Feminine ones, masculine ones, all sorts. None of the copout nonhuman sort, just dudes and girls and mates and individuals who are all sorts of things and also bald. It might make a few of the people going through the various vortexes of pain that balding causes feel a bit better.
And to those noticing I did not adress female hair loss much here, that was intentional. I am AMAB and currently a nonbinary guy who goes by any pronouns but often likes to present as fem. I learned I was possibly losing my hair and lost two months of my life, no work or going or anything, to male hair loss forums and research and spiraling. Checking my hair twenty times a day, unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to think. And my situation was NOT unique, but it also did not give me any experience or understanding of female hair loss and what AFAB people may go through with that, so I don't feel knowledgeable enough to speak on it. Also living with baldness WILL get easier and you will find something that works for it, by virtue of simply living with it. Things get easier with time.
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keto-keyes · 7 months
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Slytherins with a non!Deatheater S/O
Imagine/preference
The Slytherins are down bad for their partners. So how do they rip off the band aid and break the news that secretly, they're all bad?
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Mattheo Riddle:
We all know he's a bad boy with a bad attitude
...except around his S/O
He doesn't try to hide the blood on his hands, but uses the excuse "I was protecting you"
He does actually do it to protect you, don't worry
His dad threatens to end you if he refuses to do his Deatheater duties
So he makes sure to keep you around him whenever he can to make sure you can't get hurt
Our boy stresses the heck out whenever you get even the smallest bit injured
It might start fights sometimes between the two of you, but you KNOW this mamas boy would never lay a hand on you in the wrong way
If you try to join, he discourages it
He doesn't want to psychologically scar you
lots of time together whenever he can kick his dad outta his mind
Then he holds you tight like he's gonna lose you
Don't ever stop loving this man, alright?
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Tom Riddle:
It's kinda impossible for you not to know about his...situation
It's all anybody talks about when you're around
But he only wants to protect you
So he makes sure to keep you distracted whenever he must get the job done
He'll take you dancing, or go shopping afterwards
sometimes you might need to clean him up after a scuffle
he lets you, but only if you promise not to ask how he got the injuries
His dad also threatens him with losing you and he could never be complete without his S/O safely in his arms
if somehow you get tangled in his mess of deatheater-ness, he will sacrifice EVERYTHING for you
his only thought is to keep you safe
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Theodore Nott:
He doesn't tell you he's a Deatheater until you meet his friends
That's right, he didn't let you meet his friends
not at first
after you meet them, it's kinda like momentum until he finally tells you he's a deatheater
he definitely expects you to hate his ass, but you don't so he's hopeful
he smokes to forget all the horrible things he does.
he does it more once he finally confesses, but tries not to when you're around.
dw, his stoic attitude when you ask him about being a deatheater isn't him being uncaring
he just forgot how to feel remorse after being a human murder weapon for so long.
it's like torture for him, and he hates it
So care for him please, as best you possibly can
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Draco Malfoy:
He's probably the most affected by the deatheater thing
If you're dating him, either you're younger than him or your families are close.
So you know all about the deatheater thing
he pretends having a dangerous father is a good thing
like, he can destroy draco's enemies in an instant,
but... he could also force you to join Voldemort, and that's something that can never happen.
you have to either be holding his hand or his cheek AT ALL TIMES,
otherwise his anxiety causes him to start shaking
he'll whisper all his worries as he weeps himself to sleep, and sometime you catch him doing it
his dad only protected him for so long, now it's your turn
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Blaise Zabini:
He doesn't talk about it
ever
even when you two have been dating for a while, he doesn't mention it
it's not your problem, it's his
and he wants it to stay that way for as long as possible
he's afraid telling you will somehow lead to Voldemort knowing, and holding it against him
especially since the only thing Voldemort's actually threatening him with is death. extremely painful death.
so he doesn't even mention it.
you know though. you know how painful killing and torturing is for him.
it tears him apart, almost to the point where he wants to smoke with theo
sometimes he wishes desperately that he could tell you everything, but he's scared you would be in danger.
so he stays quiet and lets the anguish build
he doesn't crack. ever
he stays stoic and silent. caring
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Pansy Parkinson:
she doesn't like to bother you with the gorey details,
but sometimes they slip out
she breaks down all the time. it's traumatising
but she can't really articulate what she feels
so she just cries as you hold her to your chest/side
yeah, idk i didn't really have any ideas for pansy
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Lorenzo Berkshire:
he may be a little flouncy at times, but he cares about your wellbeing enough to protect you
its his main goal in life
so he tries to keep himself between you and the others for as long as possible. like theo
its less of a "you don't need to know them"
and more of a "what? other people? who needs people when I'm your cute bf?" while waving his hands in front of you so you focus on him
he lets you wash his cuts for him
and do his hair in consolidation for not being by your side for a few hours.
Voldemort really can't touch enzo without hurting you.
So he keeps his mouth shut about it a lot.
sweet boy livin in a cruel world, what can i say
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Chapter 2: What A Great Freakin’ Way To Start The Day
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy,
Word Count: 5.2K
Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendo, sexual tension. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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The morning begins the same way it always does, with your neighbor Mike blasting "I Will Always Love You" in his apartment at exactly 8 am just as he had each day since you met two years ago. It was the only constant in your life, but at least you didn't have to use an alarm clock anymore. The sound of Mike belting out the lyrics at the top of his lungs was enough to wake everyone in the whole building, including the people on the eighth floor, five stories above him.
But because Mike bought the super’s probably illegally made cologne and because the super was dating Mike’s mother, something that made you regret supe hearing very much, it never stopped despite the numerous complaints.
Then again it was Annie's favorite thing about sleeping over, she liked to scream the lyrics back at the wall and jump on your bed like a crazy banshee. Honestly you hoped that it would stop after Ben had pretended to be your boyfriend, that Mike would finally figure it out and give up.
Guess not.
You sit up in your bed, stretching your hands over your head while humming the chorus under your breath, but you were more of an ABBA fan. If Mike had decided to serenade you with "Take A Chance On Me" or even Aretha Franklin's "You're All I Need to Get By," you might have looked at him differently.
The memory of the dream of his mullet smothering you in your sleep momentarily passes over your mind, causing a shudder to travel down your spine. Or maybe not.
Your bedroom was similar to your living room, covered in plants. Trailing jasmine and bougainvillea blanketed the wall behind your bed in deep red and white, budding lavender, lilac, and honeysuckle sat in pots along the top of your dresser, and a blush colored rose bush, that never went out of bloom, stood proudly in the corner. The only difference was that there were two large piles of books almost as tall as your ceiling, some old some new, braced beside the rose bush like Roman columns. You kept trying to remember to buy a bookshelf, but each time you thought about going to pick one up, Butcher usually called and asked you to help out. Both piles were covered almost completely in pothos and more hung from the brick walls above your only window, that opened the floor length pale yellow curtains with a flick of your hand.
An annoyed purring sound greets your ears as the honeyed light from the now open window wisps over your covers. Bean, your cat, stalks up from the end of the bed, his yellowed eyes narrowed with annoyance at being woken up so early while his charcoal gray coat turns lighter in the brilliant sunlight. Last night he had been in your bedroom when you got home, which meant that he hadn't been around Ben when he came in.
A good thing, because Bean hated just about everyone except Butcher, which you thought was weird. But whenever Butcher dropped by to talk to you Bean always came over to look for rubs, while hissing at anyone who tried to interrupt them. Hughie was actually afraid of Bean, and because Bean was a cat he immediately picked up on this and purposely would jump on the couch next to Annie so Hughie couldn't sit there, Bean also followed after Hughie to the bathroom and waited outside the door to swipe at his ankles whenever he would come out.
But you didn't love him any less.
He puts his paw on your thigh lightly extending his claws to get your attention.
"Oh are you talking to me now?" You smile, rubbing him behind the ears. "I thought you were angry because I woke you up?"
He purrs and pushes his chunky gray head against your hand, but startles when the song switches to "My Heart Will Go On" which causes Mike's mother to join in to his karaoke session.
I'd move if my apartment wasn't so damn cheap.
"Maybe they should take the show on the road. Huh buddy?"
Bean purrs his response while pushing his head further into your hand.
His mom wasn't that bad of a singer, in fact, you thought that you remembered eavesdropping on a conversation between her and the super when she talked about a career as a cabaret singer a while ago.
"Come on, let's see if Gramps killed any of my plants." You smile down at your cat. "If he did I'm going to turn him into a tree."
Bean purrs in agreement.
You get out of bed, adjusting your shirt back down over your shorts before walking to the door with Bean following behind you. You step out into the cool hallway, with more enthusiasm than usual as you try to escape the butchering of the Titanic's soundtrack and collide into something warm and wet.
It takes you exactly seven seconds to realize that the warm, wet, thing that your face is currently stuck to, is in-fact Ben's chest, his shirtless chest. Why he's standing in the hallway outside your door, soaking wet and wearing a towel you have no idea. All you know is that your face is physically laying against the warm flesh of his pectoral muscles.
"Why are you NAKED?" You scream as you peel yourself off of him and turn your gaze away. Your face felt so warm that it was like you'd been standing in front of a volcano for too long and you were sure that you had blushed to the roots of your hair.
You'd only seen him without his shirt on once, when the door to his bedroom was cracked at the apartment he shared with the rest of the group. But it was from the back and you had been walking by to go to the bathroom, and you hadn't looked…
Well, you may have stopped for a second to admire the powerful muscles on his muscular back and maybe thought about waiting for him to turn around so you could see if the front was as good as the back… but you hadn't.
And he certainly hadn't been soaking wet then, and it made you hate him more now, because no one should look as good as he does soaking wet. You personally knew that you looked like a drowned poodle whenever you stepped out of the shower, but him? Soldier Boy looks like he just finished filming a shampoo commercial.
You could see it in your head, him standing under a crystal blue waterfall with the water splashing against weathered rocks before running through his soft brown hair, curving around his broad shoulders, down his toned stomach straight down to his-
NO. Not gonna go there. You could feel your skin heating in embarrassment, almost as if you thought he could read your mind.
"I'm not naked doll, I mean I could be if you wanted me to." He smirks as he hears your heartbeat begin to pick up and reaches for the end of his towel. The towel that was almost too small to wrap around his waist and left very little to the imagination.
"NO!" You shout holding up a hand to stop him, but again brush the front of his chest.
Fuck, you could zest a lemon on those abs.
"Are you sure?" Ben smiles wider, taking a step forward. He's so close that you can smell your grapefruit mint shampoo on him and feel the humidity and warmth of his body as he stands there. For some reason the fact that he used your shampoo, and smelled like your soap, made you feel warm and tingly. It was almost hypnotic. You hated how much you liked it. "Because you're turning that cute little red color you always do whenever I'm around, and your heartbeat is kinda fast."
"No. I don't." You grit your teeth together. "Why are you standing outside of my door naked?"
"Maybe I was waiting for you to come out." His hand presses against the doorway next to your head. "You know, I already took a shower, but if you wanted I'd be happy to get back in with you."
"No thanks. I don't need a shower and I wouldn't shower with you if it was the last shower on earth and I hadn't bathed in forty years." You purse your lips. "Oh right, that happened to you."
Ben frowns at your mention of his time in Russia. You didn't often tease him about being trapped in a lab, you knew that it was a sore spot for him. Plus you'd seen the footage of exactly what those doctors did to him and it was enough to make you want to book a one way ticket to Russia and personally show them what happened when a tree got shoved up your ass.
You open your mouth to apologize.
"I was going to ask if you have any other clothes here. Mine are still wet from last night." He raises an eyebrow, but the humor is gone from his eyes.
"Oh. Um. I can take a look." You turn and walk into your bedroom, trying not to feel awkward about bringing up the lab.
He was a jerk, but he didn't deserve a reminder of how shitty the last forty years have been.
Truthfully, you weren't sure if you had anything that would fit him. Ben was a lot bigger than you, taller and broader. You usually did wear things that were a little big for you, but you didn't think that Ben would fit in any of them.
Maybe I have something from when my brother was here last time.
Darren often dropped by when he was in the city visiting his friends or had a new "business" venture. The ones that never seemed to last and the friends that always seemed happy to spend the moan you "loaned" him for his "best idea yet" as he always phrased it. But he hadn't been by in at least a year.
"It's really green in here too." You hear Ben say under his breath.
You didn't think that he was going to follow you into your room, you thought he was going to stay in the hallway, but no, he had followed you. And he made the room feel even smaller than it was with his broad shoulders and over six foot stature.
The sunlight from the window glinted off his still wet chest and it made your throat uncomfortably tight. For the love of chocolate pudding, WHY does he look so good all the time?
"You can wait in the hall-"
"Wanted to see your bedroom." He smirks. "Though I think that you wanted to show it to me last night-"
You ignore him and turn back to your chest of drawers while Mike and his mother switch to "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. You wince as they begin.
"Do they always do that?" Ben asks.
"Yep. Since I moved in." You sigh, shuffling through your t-shirts.
"He's really got it bad Sweetheart. Maybe you should throw him a bone. Kinda seems like the poor guy needs to get some ass-"
"If it's any of your business- which it's not- I do not like him that way."
"Well they're a little loud." You feel Ben take a step closer to you. "But I bet you and I could give them a run for their money. We are in your bedroom after all, might as well make the most of it."
"I didn't know that you liked Karaoke. I'll keep that in mind for you 105th birthday party."
"What? No I meant-"
Bean purrs loudly from his position on your bed and you wait for the telltale sound of Ben shooing him away when Bean tries to puncture Ben's impenetrable skin with his claws, but it doesn't come.
You glance over your shoulder. Are you kidding me?
Bean is sitting on your white plush comforter, rubbing up against Ben's hand, purring while Ben scratches him behind the ears.
Traitor.
"Didn't know you had a cat." Ben says continuing to stroke his hand down Bean's spine, who stands up and turns so Ben can have a better angle.
"I didn't peg you for a cat person. Kinda ruins the whole all-American Man image you have going on."
He shrugs. "I like dogs more, but I don't hate cats. Usually they don't like me very much."
"I wonder why that is." You grumble watching Bean lean into Ben's hand again. "His name is Bean."
"Bean? Why?"
"Because when I got him I was trying to grow green beans in the linen closet and he would sit outside the door and screech until I gave him a green bean to play with."
"You were trying to grow green beans in the linen closet?"
"Yeah. Seemed like a good idea, but they like the bathroom more-" You finally find the oversized Led Zeppelin shirt your brother left the last time he crashed at your apartment and a pair of jeans. "A lot of my plants like the bathroom more actually."
"I was going to ask you why the bathroom floor and wall was squishy."
"It's moss. It thrives in humid environments." You hold out the clothes for him.
"Uh-huh." He frowns at the clothes for a minute. "So you're saying you wouldn't want a guy to serenade you like that?" Ben nods his head towards your bedroom wall, just as Mike and his mother begin to belt out the chorus. "Thought girls liked sappy shit."
"I'm not a fan of One Direction."
"Right. You like ABBA more." Ben turns towards your door to go back to the bathroom to change.
Shock momentarily spikes in your chest. "How did you know that?"
He freezes as if you caught him doing something bad, turning slightly towards you. "Um- well, you hum their songs a lot."
"When?" You cross your arms over your chest.
"Whenever you're on stake outs. Sometimes when you're reading those files or waiting for Annie at the apartment." He shrugs. “When you were walking last night you were humming ‘Fernando.’"
He noticed that?
"How long exactly were you following me?"
"Long enough." He raises an eyebrow. "Are you trying to keep me talking because you want me to change in here? Because I would be more than happy to drop this towel and show you what a real man looks like Sweetheart."
"Don't flatter yourself Gramps. If you drop that towel the only thing that'll happen is Bean will think you brought him a green bean to play with." You roll your eyes. "Now get out of my room. I have to change."
Ben begins to say something, but the vines hanging above the door push him out into the hall and shut the door behind him.
That felt good.
After you put on a white t-shirt, your favorite pair of jean overalls and your dark green converse, you make your way out into the living room. Ben is there, lounging on your couch like he owns it. He’s wearing the jeans and t-shirt you gave him, but you can't help but notice how the clothes are just a little too small for him. The way his muscles pull at the t-shirt, the way the jeans hug his thighs and butt-
He's getting way too comfortable here. You think to yourself to avoid the thought of how good he looks on your couch. How it almost feels natural that he's sitting here in your living room, inhabiting your space.
"So what's for breakfast doll face?" He leans his head back to gaze at you with a mischievous smile that makes a warm tingle travel down the length of your spine.
"Well, I'm going to have oatmeal and you're going to have whatever you want I guess?"
His eyes darken. "Whatever I want?"
"Calm down Gramps I meant that there's cereal in the cabinet." You roll your eyes to avoid thinking about the kiss last night and then thinking about how it felt for your body to be pressed against his in the hallway when you ran into him.  Which inevitably leads back to the waterfall fantasy and-
No. No. Not going to do that. Not with him. He's just good at getting women into bed, he doesn't care about you. You think about how he remembered that you liked ABBA. That doesn't mean anything. He doesn't see me as anything more than a conquest and he probably remembered that because he's changing tactics and trying not to act like a creep.
“You’re not going to pour me a bowl?” His smirk pulls down in an attractive pout.
“I think it’s simple enough for your little brain to do.” You don’t turn around from the kitchen cabinets, grabbing a raspberry from the refrigerator and popping it in your mouth. For some reason you noticed that whatever you grew tasted better than anything you bought at the grocery store. You hoped that it didn’t mean that your powers supercharged whatever you grew and that it was actually radioactive or something. 
Because that’s exactly what I need, to turn bright green. 
“There’s nothing little about me doll.” 
“Can’t you ever have a conversation with someone without it revolving around sex?” You grumble banging around in your cabinets to find your instant oatmeal. 
It was a valid point and you were tired of getting whiplash every time Ben acted caring and then flipping back to horny manchild.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Ben laughs. He stands from the couch and makes his way into your kitchen.
It was hard not to notice how small each room in your apartment looked with him in it. His head was only a foot below the ceiling, not to mention the kitchen was only composed of six cabinets, a small sink, a microwave shoved into a corner, a stove top, and a refrigerator that only came up to Ben’s shoulders. Your bathroom was worse, sometimes the shower was small even for you and you didn’t know how Ben fit in there. 
He probably had to duck down to stand under the shower head. 
And then as you thought that, the image of Ben standing under a waterfall comes creeping back, making the strawberry plant on top of the fridge, the raspberry vines, and the blackberry vines covering your refridgerator burst into bloom.
Thankfully Ben didn’t notice, because he was rooting through the white top cabinet in the corner for one of the cereal boxes. 
I’d never hear the end of it if he saw that happen. 
You glare at the plants in question, eyes shifting to a deep green as the flowers develop into fresh fruit to cover your slip. 
Ben pulls out a box of Lucky Charms, but frowns at Lucky on the front cover, who is throwing a handful of marshmallow charms into the air around him. 
Guess he's not a fan.
 “If I’d known you were going to sleep on my couch I would have gotten Bran flakes and prunes for you.” You smirk as you pour water over the oats in the bowl before placing it in the microwave to cook. “I know people your age need that kind of thing sometimes. Gets the bowel moving.”
“Make fun of my age all you want.” Ben steps around you to grab the almost empty bottle of milk from your refrigerator. “One day you’ll be happy to find out just how experienced I am.”
“Keep dreaming.”
His dark eyes meet yours. “You’re all I dream about baby.”
You can feel his breath on the side of your neck from how close he is to you, the kitchen seems smaller than it ever has, and he leans forward, sensing your hesitation. One of his hands goes on the kitchen counter to your right, the other places the milk down and then braces on the counter to your left caging you against him. 
“Do any of your lines actually work?” You say, throat tight.
“You’d be surprised.” He smirks wider, green eyes sliding up and down your body. 
 The air in the kitchen electrifies, something passing through the air between the two of you that makes you feel like your heart is going to burst out of your chest. His eyes are softer green now, reminding you of the color of fresh leaves on an oak tree in spring, bright, strong, and full of life. His body is pressed gently against yours, the strong muscles of his abdomen laying on your hips, muscular arms making sure that you don't walk away.
You try not to think again about how good he looks in your apartment, how calm and relaxed he seems when he’s away from Butcher and not wearing his uniform. 
Standing here in your apartment, he looked normal, human. Sometimes it was hard to remember that you were, when you could do what you did, when you saw him get hit with a car and shove it away with one hand. 
He was still ridiculously attractive, the kind of attractive that you’d read in romance novels and in classic Roman literature, the kind of beautiful that people wrote poetry about, the kind of ruggedly handsome that made smart girls stupid. 
You were really feeling that last one. Because you were desperately trying to hold on to your dream of being with someone that understood every part of you, but Ben was making it hard.
It wasn’t that the idea of sleeping with him was terrible. It wasn’t. It was far from terrible it was the idea of having sex without feelings that you didn’t like. You didn’t want to sleep with him because you knew that he only saw you as something to be possessed not as an equal or someone he cared about. Soldier Boy only cared about himself, that was apparent.
He’s only interested in you because you haven’t given in. You think to yourself. It's all about the thrill of the chase, nothing else. I'm worth more than that. I'm worth more than one night.
“In fact, I think it’s working on you doll.” Ben leans down towards you so close you can feel his words in the air between your faces, his eyes searching yours as if waiting for you to say no.
That made you pause. Ben didn’t seem to be the type of man who was patient. You’d walked in on him making out with numerous women on the couch back at the apartment he shared with the rest of the team, saw how he took control, saw how he didn’t seem to wait for them to say no or really say anything at all. Not to mention one time when you walked into the shared apartment and could hear Ben with one of his "dates" in his bedroom. Nothing about that seemed patient at all.
But this Ben standing in your kitchen was different. He was almost smiling, dark hair still damp from the shower curling on his forehead, the t-shirt damp around the collar, jeans a dark blue, and the smell of your shampoo fills your senses again all over again. It made you wish for this person all the time. The one that you could see yourself falling in love with, not the racist, sexist, and inappropriate jerk that seemed to dominate his persona at all other parts of the day.
Funny, the only time you’d ever seen Ben like this, was when the two of you were alone- well sometimes- other times he annoyed you without end and made you want to jump out a window. 
But why? Why only around me?
The feeling in your chest grows. It jumps from synapse to synapse, pulses along your skin, buzzes in your blood, tangles through your hair, and radiates through the air like a sound wave. Your eyes drift down to his lips remembering exactly what it was like to kiss him last night. How he seemed to consume you whole, how everything else fell away, how Ben curled himself around you, how he-
Your cell phone rings, breaking through the moment, and making you remember exactly why you didn’t want to give in to Ben and remember the kind of person he was. 
You push him away and pull your cellphone out of your pocket. Butcher's photo and name appear on the screen.
Shit.
"Hey Butch, what's up?" You look away from Ben, forcing yourself to calm your racing heart.
Ben perks up at the mention of Butcher’s name.
“Do you have any idea where Soldier Boy is?”
“Soldier Boy?”
“Seems like our blunt smoking man out of time has vanished. Been trying to text him all bloody morning.”
At least he doesn’t know that Ben is here. That’s good. I’d never hear the end of it if-
Ben snatches the phone from your hand and holds it up to his ear. “What the fuck do you want?”
The softness was gone, his eyes had hardened again, and the spell was broken. Ben was no longer relaxed, his shoulders were tensed and guarded, jaw set.
It didn’t take a genius to know that Ben didn’t like Butcher. Sometimes you wondered why Ben decided to stay.
Probably because the alternative was being frozen like Han Solo next to his son.
When Ben had knocked Homelander out, you hadn’t believed it, and despite Ben’s arguing Butcher wanted to keep Homelander a supe, and just put him on ice. You had no idea why, especially since Butcher had been gunning for him forever, but had the sneakiest suspicion that it was because of Ryan.
But you didn't blame Butcher for that, watching your father get killed in front of you seemed traumatic, not to mention Ryan was still reeling from watching his mother die.
You turn back to your microwave to pull out your bowl of oatmeal with a groan.
Now Butcher’s going to mock me endlessly about going home with Soldier Boy. We didn’t do anything! Well…
Your mind flits back to the searing kiss you shared and to five seconds ago when whatever the hell just happened.
“You want me to meet you in fucking Jersey?” Ben laughs.
You choose not to eavesdrop on the conversation, instead you busy yourself with sprinkling brown sugar onto your breakfast and plucking a few more raspberries from the vines.
“Fine.” Ben almost growls before holding out the phone to you. “He wants to talk to you.”
Of course he does. Maybe I can pretend to lose the signal with a piece of paper or a candy wrapper.
“Hello-“
“You crazy wanker.” Butcher chuckles into the phone. “Guess your night was a little more exciting than mine eh? Oi Hughie, you owe me a tener!” He shouts to Hughie who you can guess is sitting nearby.
“What? He’s with y/n! No way!” You hear Hughie shout back, muffled but there.
Damn it he’s gonna tell Annie. She's going to start sending me pictures of babies photoshopped in supe suits.
“You guys were betting that he was here?!” You shout making eye contact with Ben who only smirks before he busies himself with getting a bowl for his cereal.
“He left about two minutes after you did. Said some bullshit about a smoke break.” Butcher is smiling and you know it. “How was he? Was he as good as all the girls say?" Butcher coos on the other side of the line.
“Nothing happened-“
“Sure it didn’t Cherie!” You hear Frenchie crow. “Hopefully you got to relieve some of that tension no?”
“I hate all of you.” You grumble, and before Butcher can say anything else you hang up the phone and glare at Ben. “This is your fault.”
“What do you mean sweetheart?”
“You just had to follow me home!”
“You shouldn’t have been walking out there alone.”
“I do it all the time!”
“Not anymore.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m not going to let you walk around alone in the middle of the night.”
"Like hell. I don't need a babysitter!"
"I think you do-"
"No I don't. In fact why are you still here? Why haven't you left?" You shout, snatching your bowl of oatmeal before moving to the wobbly kitchen table that you smooshed up against a window that looks out onto your fire escape.
"Because I tend to like morning sex. It's a great way to start the day. Thought you'd be interested." Ben winks as he sits across from you, barely fitting in the wooden chair.
Your phone buzzes where it sits on the table beside your bowl. When you flip it over, you see the text from Annie.
Annie: YOU SLEPT WITH SOLDIER BOY?!!!!
You: I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
Annie: That's a yes. TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!
You sigh and shovel a spoonful of oatmeal into your mouth, eyes drifting up to the top of your phone screen focusing on the time.
"SHIT! I'm late for work!" You shout before shoving as much oatmeal as you can into your mouth.
"Work?" Ben looks up from his bowl of cereal confused as you begin to run around the room.
The half-eaten bowl of oatmeal falls into the sink with a resounding crash, Bean's cat food lands haphazardly in his bright green food dish, and you practically run to your tote bag that hangs on a peg by your front door.
"I told you. I work at a plant shop." You glance back at your barren coffee maker mournfully. The thought of trying to get through the day without coffee seemed impossible, not to mention you didn’t have time to grab one on the way to work from your favorite shop just around the corner.
"I thought you were joking."
"No. Some of us have to work for a living." You run your fingers through your hair quickly pulling it back in a loose ponytail.
"You should leave your hair down." Ben says from the table watching you.
"What?"
"It's prettier when it's down."
"I don't have time for your misogynistic comments. Come on let's go."
"What?"
"I'm not going to leave you here in my apartment alone. You don't have a key."
"You could give me yours-"
"HA. No that's not going to happen. Come on." You tug on his muscular arm, trying to get him up out of the chair, but he barely moves.
“You know you could call out of work and we could spend the day in bed.” He smiles, eyes tracing your figure. “I mean you look good baby, but I think you'd look even better naked. Plus, Butcher and the rest of those fuckers already think we slept together so we might as well-“
“Not a chance Gramps. Either get up out of the chair and leave through the door or leave through the window. It’s your choice and I have no qualms with throwing you down to the street. But please don't make me do that because I can't afford a new window."
Ben rolls his eyes, but finally gets up to follow you. He actually tries to open the door for you, but you place your hand on his chest.
“Nah uh uh. Bowl in the sink. I’m not going to clean up after you.”
Ben sighs and mumbles something under his breath that’s lost in Mike’s inhuman screech of “Love on Top.”
Yeah. What a great fucking way to start the day.
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baddiewiththebook · 1 year
Text
ONE OF THE BOYS [PART 2]
-> While you pine hopelessly over your best friend, Eddie Munson. You hear the sentiment 'one of the boys' one too many times and you've decided to change that. All in the name of the one boy who won't even look at you, or so you think.
-> eddie munson x you (she/her)
-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst
-> warnings - strong language and suggestive themes [no smut]
-> a/n I tried to tag everyone I saw, but some of y'all weren't linking. Also, there is a part three because part two became so long. Whoops!
[Part 1] Part 2 [Part 3]
-> <-
“You're eventually going to have to talk to them,” Robin shimmies her backpack into the empty chair next to her rather than being strewn across the lunchroom table. “As far as they know, you changed your hair and your clothes and now you hate them.”
You place your lunch tray onto the open space, then sit across from her.
Distancing from your friends was cruel, and you knew that. Robin is also right. Still, you wake an hour early to get to school ahead of them. Taking windy pathways past the gymnasium that stunk of socks to avoid Eddie on his way to his classroom that is two doors away from yours. You carry all of your heaviest books now because Gareth’s locker is across from yours. You do regret leaving that sandwich in your locker though. Gross.
With a routine schedule, two months have flown by without a hitch in the plan. Robin likes sitting with you at lunch, but she does wish you chose to sit here rather than watching you screw away at a tight bond with the boys over at the other table.
Things were desperate by the first week when you shoved toilet paper up your nose in order to fib to Eddie that you were too sick to go anywhere. You missed two days of class just so you could keep away from him.
Then, there was the band performances. You never missed a single night that Corroded Coffin played music at the scrappy biker bar at the outskirts of town. The boys had stopped inviting you after “missing two,” but you snuck into the shadows in the back of the bar. No one really bothered you there. Stage lights distracted the performers enough to where they could only see the front row of drunks.
All of the practice in Gareth’s garage paid off. Corroded Coffin was good - no, excellent. You were so proud of the boys.
You wish you could tell them.
And, so, maybe Robin is right. All of this running around is silly and reckless. You miss all of your friends dearly. Even Eddie, who still you find absolutely and undoubtedly the most complicated soul you ever met in your entire life. Your friendship is more to you than desperately clinging to his ankle like a shaken chihuahua in heat.
Maybe there is a part of you that still wishes he’d see. All the effort you put into your hair, your skin and your nails isn’t just about proving that you aren’t just one of the guys. You knew this from the very beginning. Still, even after your conversation with Gareth that one night, you still play out this plot a little longer.
You like the shiny bling and the tighter clothes that get you a bit more attention. But, you didn’t have to change yourself completely - right?
“Isn’t it time for me to mingle with people who have similar interests as me?” You say finally out of your head. Snagging one of Robin’s fries, you drop down in the seat across from her.
“You've proven you can be a chick with or without that frizzy haired freak. Don't act like you don't like the same stuff they do,” she flicks your jacket, which has hours of patchwork done. You had sewn on patches of your favorite bands. Most of the bands, you had learned from Eddie, himself.
Hours of listening to music together in his trailer, while sharing a blunt. Eddie would get a wind of energy and then he’d leap onto his bed for a solo performance. Fingers stroking a guitar that never existed. You laugh as he tumbles over his mattress, and he tells you that’s when the crowd will carry him - to victory!
You warm at the memory.
Eddie is the only person at his lunch table. Kicking his foot up onto an empty chair, he lounges and he waits for his friends. He’s always the first to get there because his class is so close to the cafeteria. It takes Gareth and Jeff a longer time because they come from the gym. And, the freshman come from the opposite side of the school, so they take the longest to get to the cafeteria.
“Go on,” Robin nudges you. “I’ll see you in math later.”
By the time Robin kicks you thrice in the shin, you get over your worries. You want to patch your friendships up with the boys, but you’re not sure what to tell them. Explaining the truth felt horrific. That you like - er - liked Eddie. Gareth’s confession in the kitchen.
Yeah, the truth seems far fetched.
Your second option is to beg for them to quit calling you ‘one of the guys,’ but that too came off risky. You've never had a problem with their comments before, or their disgusting antics and habits. Once you smell a Jeff fart, then all of the other farts seem forgiving. Seriously, no one should ever give him cheese again. Yet, they do.
Anyway, talking to Eddie first feels less daunting then to come up to all of them at once. But, with your stalling, your wish comes to late. The boys rush the table, hollering and whooping like unkept animals.
You stop in your tracks fully when you see two women beeline for the table. They never invite people to their table. Or at least, they never invite just anyone.
Roxie is easy to recognize. Candy coated red lips meet that of Eddie’s pale cheek that blushes a deep crimson at the affection. Eddie hangs his head, so he can smack a wet kiss to her lips. She uses a free hand to swipe the spare lipstick from his mouth.
“Sweetheart,” Eddie cooed.
Roxie touches his hair in a way that makes his eyes droop low, and he rests his head on her chest. All while he keeps his conversation with Jeff going.
Meanwhile, the other woman is her opposite.
Brunette hair cascades down her back, and tangles amongst her woven sweatshirt. Arms wide open with her slender fingers covered by the net sweater she hid under. She sneaks up on Gareth, and hangs over his neck. Gareth cranes his neck, and whispers in her ear making her laugh sweetly. He touches her wrist with gentle fingers and he pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose with his free hand, before they have a chance to slip further down her face.
“Indie!” Dustin shouts.
The girl hanging from Gareth picks her head up, and grins with a shining sparkle in her eye at the young freshman. She reaches over to ruffle his hair.
You panic.
Slamming into someone’s shoulder, you apologize and you retreat like a mouse being stepped on. Time slows down. You move around people as fast as your feet will carry you.
You can hear your breath in your ears meeting up with your heart banging against your ribcage.
Robin calls to you, but you can’t hear her. Blood rushes through you, and you swear your can feel the swimming and the tingling. Your fingertips tingle when you push open the door into the hallway.
Technically speaking, you couldn’t be out here if you're on our lunch period. A few classes still go on, but mostly the teachers didn’t want anyone to catch them smoking in their classrooms where they shouldn’t be. It’s not like the smell lingers.
Somewhere down the hallway, a classroom is having a heated debate. Voices bounce from wall to wall. Echoing into your eardrums. All. Too. Much. You aim for the big showy doors at the front of the building.
Cool damp air hits your cheeks. Trees stand tall. Birds hold meetings on their branches. They sing soft melodies. Outside smells earthy.
Immersing yourself in the sourness of the damp remains of rainfall, you slow your jagged breathing. Your heart beat regulates.
Keys trembling in your fist, you find your car parked not too far away in the parking lot. Some asshole has blocked your passenger side in, so even if you wanted too you wouldn't be able to get in that way.
Kicking yourself for taking the cowards way out, you catch a tearful glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Mascara slips down your cheeks. Your drowning in two inches of water.
Eddie's bandana sits in your glove compartment. It still remains his with the lingering tang of old cigarettes and sweat. You told him if he left that nasty thing in here that you'd wash the stink out.
You haven't.
Clinging to a tissue, you use that to pat your face dry. Dabbing at your eyes, you don't want to disturb your makeup. Funny how a few months ago, you would be scrubbing your cheeks raw to get anything off of your face.
The tapping on your window startles you because you think a teacher has seen you. However, you find only Robin with a pitiful expression on her face. She waves for you to roll down your window, then holds out your backpack and your jacket that you’ve left behind in your scurry to get out of school.
“You left your things,” she looks at your puffy eyes and your worn out makeup. “Are you okay?”
“No,” you reach out for your things, only to put them in the passenger seat next to you, “I think I’ll go home.”
“Indie is a really nice girl-,”
“I’m not worried about Indie.”
Robin winces at the sharpness of your tone slicing through the air like butter. You apologize to her.
“I’m going to go home, Robin.”
“Roxie and Eddie are only going to last for a day - I guarantee,” her shoulders bobble. “It’s Roxie.”
“Yeah,” you say thinly.
Robin taps your car. “Get home safe.”
“Will do,” you say. “Thank you.”
-> <-
When you arrived at school the next day, you're in class for less than fifteen minutes before your name blasts on the intercom to report to the main office. Robin salutes you from her seat in the back of home room like you’re taking a final walk, before they take you around the back and shoot you between the eyes. Well done, soldier.
Although not as dramatic, you were served a detention slip for after school. You suspected as such, since you left halfway through school without an explanation. Next time you'll go to the nurse, and heat up the thermometer with your tongue. Give her a cough, or a sneeze and she would send you home.
You tap your fresh manicure across the etchings in the desk. Profanities. Markings of once was, and forever will be.
Low rumbles cause for distraction. You pick a desk next to a window where you see the gray clouds clustering in close. They spit at the ground. Droplets of water slip across the glass. You guess which droplet will get to the bottom first, and silently cheer the winner.
Your eye drifts to the front of the class where your chest rises and falls at the next person to walk through the door. All those months of hiding your head felt worthless when Eddie shows up.
For a moment, you think, he’s looking right at you. You swallow, but you try waving. Eddie does ignore you and plops himself into a chair at the front of the classroom. His backpack drops with a thunk.
Tipping your attention back to the window, the rain comes down harder in flashes of wet thunder and lightening. Dark and stormy weather is your favorite. Because, after the rain stops, you like splashing in every puddle until you can’t see the color of your boots anymore.
You can’t do that in your new sneakers. Not a speck of dust on them. Barely out of the box.
“Everyone in their seats,” a man in a blazer walking with an arch to his spine tells us. He hovers at the front of the classroom with both hands on his desk, while peering just above his square framed lenses. Wild gray hairs stick out on end near his ears. You wonder if he’s done this on purpose to accentuate that despite he’s bald on top of his head, he still in fact has hair. “I’m Mr. Clark, and this will be an hour long detention session.”
You came prepared with notebooks and homework to do for the next hour.
“I’ll be taking attendance, and then you may quietly do your homework or read . . . for all I care, bang your head against the desk just be quiet,” he aims the metaphorical bullet at Eddie and misses, and hits the wall just over the top of his head.
Eddie clicks his teeth. “You got it teach.”
“Mr. Munson,” Mr. Clark groans. “Will I ever get tired of seeing your face?”
Eddie grins famously. “Oh, you know you’ll never get tired of me, Dick.”
“It’s Richard,” he clears his throat, then straightens his tie, “Mr. Clark to you.”
You miss the banter. The smart mouth Eddie that has you drooling. Oh, God, please resist getting sucked in again.
The notebook in front of you has pages of blank white paper. You focus on filling in the lines with your math equations.
“Solve for E,” you tell yourself in a hushed whisper. “What ever happened to X?”
So, you solve for E.
You raise your hand when your name is called for the attendance. Pretending that Eddie didn’t whip around at your name, instead you solve for E. You solve for E because E is the equivalent of- E is the equivalent of-
Eddie can’t help, but watch your eyebrows get closer and closer to your nose. You get frazzled easily when you know you’re close to an answer that’s on the tip of your tongue.
You’re breaking now. Keeping your head down, as Eddie burns holes into the top of your head. E isn’t an equivalent of anything. E is the most complex and confusing letter of the alphabet. You swore up and down that you would avoid E. E’s in front of you. There’s no way to escape E for an entire hour. Even when you think you've solved E, you still have to see E living in a trailer across from you. E’s lights still on. Eating. Watching TV. Changing. Sleeping. Dreaming.
Crap, you are not thinking about the fifth letter in the alphabet. And, you are certainly not thinking about math.
You throw down your pencil in frustration.
Eddie waits for Mr. Clark to finish his attendance taking. In mere moments, the old geezer passes out despite his fifth coffee of the day. He rocks back in his chair, arms at his side with a trail of drool spilling out down his chin.
That’s when Eddie moves.
“Hey,” you have your head down on your desk by now, but Eddie doesn’t care.
He doesn’t understand why you’re avoiding the group. Obviously, he misses when you would sit at the table and you correct his homework from the night before. You’re too smart for him. Eddie knows this. You’re more than a brain to him, though. The way you speak with your hands more and more when you get excited.
Eddie likes to pretend not to understand why he gets nervous when you lean over his shoulders to show him how to work out a problem in one of his classes. He pretends to not notice the scent of your soap that smells so sweet and delicious. That the smell lingers when you leave.
What he can't shake, however, is why you haven’t been speaking to him for the last two months. Darting into empty classrooms when you think he’s not looking. When your home, you'll keep the lights off or low enough that he might forget you’re home (he doesn’t). And, you think you’re clever sneaking into the back of his performances with the band, but Eddie sees you there dancing by yourself with a grin on your face that could break apart the gray days and bring back the sunshine. You haven’t missed a single performance yet.
So, where have you been?
You bring your head up from the table because you know Eddie is smarter than to think you’ve fallen asleep. Sometimes you talk, or you twitch your arms - Eddie’s seen this when you knock out after a long day. He'll let you sleep there, but he'll take off your shoes so that you're comfortable. And, he'll even place a blanket over you because you'll start to shiver. But, he never stays. He doesn't want you to wake up because Eddie is notoriously clumsy. Instead, Eddie would sneak into the living room twiddling his thumbs making no noise until you wake up. He wouldn't turn on the television. He wouldn't warm anything up in the microwave. He wouldn't even open his fridge. He would sit on the floor of his living room kicking his feet together, and plucking at the carpet fibers.
You never sleep long - thirty minutes at most.
Eddie thinks about how much time you spend together in his trailer at this moment. You’ve shared everything. Clothes. Towels. Blankets. Toothpaste. Food. Secrets. You've made a mark on him when he wasn’t looking. If there is a way to tattoo someone into their brain, into their heart, you're there.
That terrifies him.
“Hi,” your voice melts him.
Eddie stumbles over his words. “Erm-,”
“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “I just-,”
“How are you doing?” Eddie wants you to keep talking. He’ll ask about anything to keep you here with him. Tempting you like a rabbit, and him holding onto a carrot, he waits for you to bite.
“Good,” you reply. “You?”
“Yeah, good.”
You can’t hold back. “You’re with Roxie, now?”
“Hm?” He hums. “It’s casual.”
“Casual,” you repeat. “Like I said- erm- I’m sorry that I haven’t been around. My classes-,”
“Don’t lie to me,” Eddie’s eyes swell, and you fall deeper into the trap. “What’s happening to you?”
Okay, truth time.
“I liked a boy, and he didn’t like me back,” you stretch out your top. “I even tried changing my look, but that seems pretty pointless now. But, I guess I just got tired of being compared to a boy.”
Eddie could faint. You're infatuated with someone so much that you changed your entire wardrobe. Guilt rubs at him.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Eddie's denying what he already knows about himself. That if he kept comparing you to one of his guy friends that certain emotions couldn't grasp hold of the surface for air.
“Who's comparing you to a boy?”
He had to be sure.
“Seriously?” you frown. “Everyone. You. Gareth-,”
Confirmed.
“Is this about Gareth?” Eddie clenches his fist around the back of his chair. “I swear to God, I’ll pummel that little sack of shit.”
“Eddie,” you scold. “It’s not Gareth- never mind.”
“Wait, who’s the guy?”
You hum. “What?”
“You said you liked some guy?” Eddie pieces together. “It has to be one of us, right? I mean you stopped talking to all of us specifically, so which one of us is it?”
“That’s not important,” you suck in a breath. “Eddie, I’m doing homework.”
He snorts, the flips the page so he can read the question, “you’re doing it wrong.”
You roll your eyes. “Aren’t I usually the one who’s correcting you?”
“Gareth’s girlfriend has been helping me since you- never mind,” Eddie sees the tension in your jaw. “Okay, so to solve for E, you plug in this number here and then you take the square root there.”
You’re irritated, but Eddie is right and you mark your paper up how the equation should be.
“Thank you.”
“So, it’s Gareth,” Eddie presses on.
“What?”
“The boy you like that doesn’t like you back?”
“No,” you write another math equation out on your piece of paper. “Actually, Gareth liked me, and I didn’t feel the same.”
Eddie knows this, but he just needs to hear you say you don't like his friend.
“The plot thickens,” he gets comfortable. “Is it Jeff? Come on, Jeff is a catch.”
“Eddie, please drop it,” you beg.
Eddie throws a few more names out that you can ignore over your homework. But, slowly he begins to run out of ideas. You know where he’s going, and you’re not sure how to react when he says,
“It’s not me is it?”
Your pencil stops scribbling, and if you’re careful you can pretend to be thinking really hard about - what two plus two equals. Oh, damn.
“It is me.”
Those three little words trip you up more than Eddie’s jaw being on the floor right now. You stammer for a little too long. Tripping over the right words to say to him.
This is it.
The moment you’ll lose him for good.
You want him to just tear your heart from your chest and squeeze it until it pops. Make the pain of an aching heart go by so much faster.
“Mr. Munson,” Mr. Clark rose like a zombie from the afterlife. “Is there a reason that your seat is empty?”
Eddie whirled around. Still stunned, he replies,
“Uh. . . right, sorry.”
Without making too much noise, Eddie puts himself back into his original seat towards the front of the classroom. Fidgeting with his pencil, someone might mistake that he’s doing homework for the first time.
Eddie lives across the trailer park from you. How could he not see this coming? All the nights he's spent rescuing you from the clutches of your mom, who, despite being a wonderful host, has this unnecessary plea that you embrace your ‘femininity.’ That’s what you call it, he thinks.
Oh, and now to let you down.
Eddie’s seeing someone great. Roxie. She’s - she’s - she’s not as much of a slut as people say. And, he likes - no he loves that thing she does with her tongue.
Okay, he’s getting distracted.
You’re one of his closest and longest friendships he’s had. And now, you, have to go and change that.
Eddie’s mad. Angrier than angry. How dare you bring this to him.
Two months you kept away. You ran around the school like a chicken with your head cut off trying to avoid all of your loyal friends. And, you brought Robin into this mess?
Robin, at the very least, is a sweet and a neutral party. Okay? She doesn’t involve herself with anyone’s drama. She just sticks to the side of the drama like she's riding in a sidecar, and she takes notes. She lingers.
Eddie rubs his eye.
Maybe if you and he went on one tiny - the tiniest - date. As in, he doesn’t pay for food, kind of dates then you’ll get whatever you want out. You can go back to being friends, and Eddie can still see Roxie. Because, he likes Roxie.
He doesn’t like you like that.
Eddie wants nothing more than to forget the conversation you two just had. Yet, you’re lodged in his brain like a damn tumor. Yeah, a tumor. Growing at an alarming rate, he wants to smush your pretty little face. Not in a violent way - no, he’s not like that. He just wants to get out the tension, and - and hold you for a night? Does that make sense?
No, Eddie it does not.
Eddie wishes you didn’t smell so good today . . . and all the other days. If you smelled like an ogre, he could stop thinking about taking you on that ‘barely-call-it-a-date’ date. Although, if you were an ogre and you did smell as good as you do right now - ugh, that doesn't matter!
None of this matters. Why is he thinking like this?
In theory, he’ll take you somewhere romantic. To release you of your crush faster, he’ll spend the money - okay? He decides to break the bank for you.
Only once.
There’s a little spot outside of town that has the most delicious steak dinners. They have a dimly lit dining room, so Eddie wouldn’t have to see the dress you spent hours deciding on wearing. Your bare skin softened by the scented lotion you bought just for the night. He can hear your laugh like a song he knows by memory. You tilt your head back, exposing the flesh of your neck.
After your dinner, that he pays for - not you, he’ll walk you down the street where he parked his van earlier. He’ll have cleaned out and scrubbed the seats until every stain kicks the bucket. Driving you home, he’ll feel that knot in his chest that he knows from watching cheesy romantic comedy movies as practice for when that crap happens to him (he doesn't do that . . . shut up.). That knot tighten a little more by the time he gets to the trailer park. And, by the time he gets out of the car his fingertips start to shake.
Eddie will open your door, if he can get there before you. Taking your hand in his, he’ll feel the warmth of your skin against his. How right the moment feels. How nervous your breath is against his. How close you are to him. He’ll be the one to learn in first - you're too nervous to make that leap.
Lips as sweet as milk and honey. He would kiss you for a long time, always coming back for more. Eddie won't find himself getting enough of you. You’re touching his hair, and he melts.
Eddie will never want the night to end.
“Munson!”
Eddie doesn’t recall falling asleep. Yet, his eyes snap open. Mr. Clark’s slobbering from the side of his mouth. He’s so close that Eddie makes out the patches in his face where he’s forgotten to shave.
The classroom is emptying. He only catches a glimpse of you leaving.
“Go home, boy,” Mr. Clark begs. “You and I both know you don’t want to be here for any longer.”
No, Eddie does not.
In fact, Eddie would much rather be wrapped in your arms in either his bed or your bed.
Eddie shoves his notebook and his pencil back into his backpack knowing full well he heard something crunch unhappily in there. Racing out of the classroom, he sprints after you in the hallway.
But, you’ve already gone.
-> <-
tags: @hellfirenacht @queercodedcharacter @ogoc-19 @littlewinchester1 @stardustingold @ghost4love @spenciesprincess @animechick555 @foggyfooz @aactuaaltraash @loves0phelia
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ynbabe · 6 months
Text
Come Through ୨୧ George Russell x Rockstar! Reader
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Is rockstar the right word? idk I just know bro is crazy bts, the white boy with Excel persona is fooling NO ONE Georgie boy. Also, Reader has vibes of the Weekend song, hence the fic name.
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Lando thinks it's all a joke. He hadn't been crying, screaming and manifesting for the past three years only for his celebrity crush to be dating someone else, another driver that too.
"WHO-" He yells as he storms into Max's room, where most of the drivers had collected, they hadn't decided but they all just gravitated towards the blonde with sweet blue eyes who listened to the vent and gave the best hugs, "AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH- WHO IS DATING Y/N L/N?"
All eyes were on him, Max lying on his bed, Charles, Carlos and Daniel with him. Lance, Esteban and Pierre were on the sofa, playing FIFA on Max's PS5, George and Alex were sharing the smaller two-seater, Zhou and Yuki were passing a tennis ball to each other and Logan and Oscar were sleeping, cuddling close on the floor surrounded by pillows, but were now woken up by Landos yelling.
"Lando stop screaming," Charles yelled back.
"No," he simply replied and made his way to the bed where he jumped on top of Carlos and Daniel, the older of whom groaned and grumbled something about his back, but Lando didn't care, he pushed his phone in Max's face, blurring his face in Carlos's neck.
xoxof1
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xoxof1 Y/n l/n an infamous British rockstar most famous for her multiple dating scandals and most recently an arrest is rumoured to date a F1 driver.
username MOTHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE 😭😭😭
username girl... knowing her it's like Lewis or someone
username fr like hasn't she 'dated' a dozen older guys not to mention her record with women username girl why are you hating like a man, she's iconic and we all know it
username just lost my wife to a vroom-vroom man no one talk to me
Max began laughing, looking up from the post to the distraught Lando currently getting his hair played with by Carlos.
"Mate, I don't think you're her type," he threw the phone back to the whining boy.
"Yeah? And how would you know? I look exactly like Edward!" He pointed to the bassist of the band you were a part of.
"Kelly loves her music..." he muttered, looking away much to the younger man's amusement.
"HAH!" He shrieked, "SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE!!" He laughed to which Carlos pushed his head down, eliciting an 'oomph'.
"I've been told many times," Max muttered to himself and turned to Lando to hear the rest of his rant, though loud and fast, the boy was the best source of entertainment they had.
"Max, look at her band, she's so coooool," he groaned, passing the phone to him again.
Cupidd
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Cupidd THANK YOU LA!! We'll be back with 'young, numb and brunette' after this short break!!
y/nl/n My old man said I had to be in Shangai this weekend 🫡 but trust- I will be back to piss y'all off with Eddie asap
edwrdnotcllen MY WIFE HAS LEFT ME FOR A TWINK HELP y/nl/n shut up Eddie your the twinkiest twink I know username I love that they have had multiple partners in the past yet still always call each other husband and wife username I pity her boyfriend 😭 imagine having to compete with a man who looks like Edward
username SHES GOING TO A RACE????
username nooooo pls my parents
username girl they have never dated, both y/n and Edward have had multiple partners and relationships with men and women in the past. Leave them alone, they're adults username FOUND Y/N'S BFS ALT GUYS!!!
"She's coming to China?" Max asked no one in particular but Lando took it as an invitation to freak out.
"Bro please, please, please let me win this one, I'll owe you forever, bro please," Lando tried his puppy eyes on Max but Max jumped out of bed calling his girlfriend, walking out the room trying his best to convince the older woman to not attend the race.
"I have so much work to do," Lando gasped and followed Max out the room.
The race was one to remember, with Max winning but George a close second and Lando barely a tenth away on the third.
He hadn't been able to find the girl anywhere but at least he got points for the team. He went to the McLaren team party and forgot about the other celebration taking place.
xoxof1
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xoxof1 The unexpected couple have been revealed in a series of leaked pictures of the private f1 party after the driver George Russell had a podium finish for his Shangai race.
username Mr.Russell I was unaware of your rizz, forgive me sir.
username WHITE MAN DOES IT IN ONE DAY 😭😭😭
landonorris When i catch you george when I catch you
username LANDO??? username he's one of ussssss username bbg you get me 😮‍💨 in ways no man ever has
George woke up with the worst headache he ever had in his life, he was sure he'd never get over this hangover but then he saw y/n next to him, hair tussled wearing the white shirt he was wearing last night.
"Y/n, darling, wake up," he pressed a kiss on her shoulder.
"mmhm," the woman groaned, turning to the blonde next to her and kissing him, the taste of vodka still fresh in her mouth.
She melted into his touch as he deepened the kiss, " Mornin' G," she whispered to him, voice hoarse from the night before.
He smiled in return, placing one last kiss on the corner of her lips. She searched around for her phone, finding it fallen amongst their haphazardly discarded clothes and opened Instagram to thousands of notifications.
She was used to it by now, it was quite fun.
y/nl/n
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y/nl/n If I speak... @/georgerussell
edwrdnotcllen @/yn/ln you are so welcome for not squealing as soon as I knew
y/nl/n girl you asked me if you could kiss him after??? edwrdnotcllen And I still am?? username WHAT-
username I just know Lando is fuming rn
username y'all need a third? a dog? a maid?
username it should be me instead of him!!!
username god I see what you've done for others 😭
"Darling, did you post-" George had just begun but his room was rudely broken into, running in he saw a hyper papaya-coloured blur followed by a very hungover Max Verstappen.
Lando gasped looking at the woman next to George, screeching at an inhuman pitch, "HOW'D THIS PIECE OF VANILLA FRAPPUCCINO WOO HER??!?!?" He pointed at Y/n, making the woman laugh.
George offended, scoffed at the boy, "Well if you must know, I met her at Nando's party-" he was cut off once again, this time by the Dutch man.
"That makes sense actually," he said and immediately grabbed Lando by the collar and dragged him out, "Sorry guys!" he yelled after himself.
"I like your friends," Y/n said smirking making the taller man blush and push the woman slightly, before collapsing back into bed, making a silent promise of never trying to out-drink the woman again.
483 notes · View notes
brights-place · 8 months
Note
Hey! Could I request a Brozone x s/o jealousy hc? Thanks!
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Brozone Jealousy Headcannons
Pairing: Brozone X S/O (Seperate)
Warnings: Cursing, fluff, jealousy
A/N: Dude I love writing all your requests OMG JEBJKWN VKLKBQW anyways jealousy headcannons are the BEST!
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John Dory/JD Jealousy! Headcannons
- John dory is 100% very overprotective of you - Snapped the fire would he was collecting quickly as he saw the troll talk to you as you were smiling chatting to the troll as John gritted his teeth - He gets very clingy. He latches onto your arm, jumps on your back, kisses your neck at times, that sort of thing if needed to and will glare down anybody if needed
- He feared that they would steal them away from him. - he would become jealous and possessive, and would do everything in his power to make sure that YOU! His partner only had eyes for him.
- Will stare daggers at anyone who stares at you too long. He will make it known you're his.
- Is definitely the type to waltz up to the person you're chatting with and interrupt the two of you to introduce himself and have an hand on your waist then kiss you right infront of them with an smirk
- Grips onto your waist while staring the person down as the dude walked away when seeing JD's glare as he left JD hugged your waist "mine" he mutters as you giggle
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Spruce/Bruce Jealousy! Headcannons
- While bruce knows he is an attractive man I mean come on he's entitled as the heart throb in his band years he still thinks that you can do much better than him!
- Isn't vocal about his jealousy would just stare at how an random person would walk up and start talking to you, and the fact you were unaware about that the person was flirting with you kind of pissed him off
- He was writing an order before hearing the person flirt with you making him snap his pen and grip onto his notebook for an moment as an Vacay islander raised an eyebrow at Bruce before noticing the scene
- Bruce stood there in shock as he walked over with an aggravated look on his face as he grabbed your hand, taking you to the kitchen - "Bruce honey are you okay?" You asked him cupping his face "I'm fine. Stop talking to that guy and just give me your attention.." he mumbled as you cupped his face as you peppered his face with kisses.
- He planned on banning the person from your restaurant but you told him not too so he just gave the guy an plate of clams... there was an reason he told everybody not to order the clams
- Lets say that troll wouldn't be talking to you anymore and would be having diarrhea
- He closed the restaurant early and walked over to you hugging you so hard saying how that troll should of backed off
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Clay Jealousy! Headcannons
- Clay well doesn't really get jealous But he HATES like really HATES feeling it when he is - He never wants you to feel like he doesn't trust you cause you trust him and he loves you so much
- He may get a bit defensive if a man or woman is trying to shoot their shot with you but he's confident enough in you and your relationship that he doesn't worry but when needed he will stride over smile at them - Whenever someone flirts with you clay jaw clenches involuntarily. Hiseyes narrow ever so slightly, a subtle sign that he's not entirely pleased with the attention you're receiving. - He trusts you enough to let you handle it on your own... but will 100% step in like the serious boy he is to get the person away from you - This man is petty as fuck you could see that everyone could see that
- He'll come up and wrap his arm around you, or press a kiss to your cheek, making your relationship very obvious to the person who's talking to you
- Showers you with affection afterwards since he held your hand and then held you close but If you accuse him of being jealous, he'll look away then back at you with an small smile muttering an "Maybe..." while you laugh
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Floyd Jealousy! Headcannons
- Floyd rarely get's jealous but when he does he has two sides either very quiet and fidgety or when he notices the person trying to flirt he'd be more up front about the situation like clay and an mix of bruce/spruce - He’s a tad bit insecure and quite fidgety. He’s also very quiet, his eyes darting between you and the person you’re talking with.
- He trusts you there’s no question about that but he’s still insecure. - They were so much more confident and good-looking, and floyd felt... like he was nothing compared to the person.
- If the person leaves he will bury his head into your neck wrapping his arms around your waist and speaking softly
- Innocent questions like "Who was that?" or "Do you know them well?" become loaded with an undercurrent of jealousy. He might pretend it's just curiosity, but his heart beats a little faster as he waits for your response.
- His fingers might 'accidentally' brush against yours when he senses someone watching a little too closely. It's a subtle way of reminding everyone that he's the one who gets to hold your hand.
- In group settings he positions himself between you and any potential threats aka people trying to flirt with you -It's a protective move that ensures he can keep a watchful eye and be ready to intervene if necessary.
- He becomes unusually vocal about his love for you when he senses competition. Expect random declarations of affection and praise, as he wants the world to know just how amazing you are.
- "You wouldn't date them right?" "what why?" "I dunno" floyd muttereed quietly looking towards you "Floyd honey I love you so much your enough for me... wait where you jealous?" floyd looked away while you laughed
- Cup his face right after an tell him you wouldn't leave him but also you teasing him about him being jealous is cute
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Branch Jealousy! Headcannons
- Branch doesn't like seeing you around other people... it makes him feel weird since he's afraid you'll leave him - He understands. Of course people would flirt with you! He knows that you’re pure beauty and perfection so it’s no surprise that people would want to hit on you... but it pisses him of so much - The pop trolls would gape in disbelief seeing someone like you, kindhearted and gentle dating... someone like branch cause he's... Branch
- Branch cares for you so much and would walk over place an hand on your waist and glares down at the person
- This man literally SCREAMS that episode with Rosa and her dog arlo??? in S3 Ep 12 in B99! "I love my wife/husband/partner and if anything happens to them I would kill everybody in this room then myself" vibes while your blushing and covering your face
- BUT THATT DOESN'T MEAN HE ISN'T INSECURE ABOUT IT! - He's still fairly insecure with himself! So when he sees someone he feels is more attractive than he is he can't help but feel self-conscious
- He will subconsciously go above and beyond for you! pulling out your chair, bringing you flowers, making your favorite food, and opening the car door for you more than he already does after feeling so insecure
- but he also will glare somebody down and plan their death so fast it isn't even an joke - ESPECIALLY if they bully you he would have their heads on an stick
reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact
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facefullofsadness · 9 months
Text
psychopathic but it's okay
band!au (lsfm girlies but in a band and y/n is the 6th member)
guitarist!yunjin x bassist!y/n
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prompt - you and yunjin are always arguing and after one argument, the latter has had it with you
content - smut (choking, degradation, overstimulation, slapping, handcuffs, cunnilingus, fingering, tribbing, multiple orgasms, jen kinda forces you into it), angst (harsh language, toxic, arguments, yelling), fluff if you squint hard
wc - 4405
author's note at the end :)
how many times just in this week have we argued already? I can't remember.
to say yunjin and I were toxic would be an understatement. it could be something wildly insignificant, but it wouldn't matter, we would be at each other's throats.
like last week when she told me to get the receipt for the takeout I ordered with kazuha and I forgot it. more like zuha did, but obviously, it was my fault because yunjin said it was.
and throughout this entire week we had been shouting at each other. any small inconvenience or misunderstanding, you name it, we argued about it. misplacing a hairbrush, accidentally eating someone's share, taking the wrong person's keys, showing up late to a meeting or practice. it was exhausting.
I can't even recall the last peaceful moment I had with this girl. it's been months of this dreadful and perpetual conflict that seemed to emerge out of nowhere, but it made me resent her in a way that I hated her guts.
I absolutely despise the way she thinks, her cocky attitude, her nonchalant responses, her dismissive demeanor, she drives me fucking insane.
which leads me to this moment, yelling at each other because she's playing ahead of the band.
"jen, play slower. you're fucking 2 seconds ahead of everyone else," I grumble, frustrated.
"oh whatever y/n, you try playing this shit. all you do is play the same bass line for 3 minutes straight," yunjin rolls her eyes back at me.
I close my eyes and bite my tongue, not wanting it to escalate, especially with the members around, "just play slower."
somehow, we moved on and all continued to practice. but this asshole never fixed her timing issue.
"yunjin, play slower!" I interrupt our practice again to yell at the girl.
she snaps her head at me, "fuck you y/n! I'm literally trying."
"but you're not though? because how are you still fucking off beat when we've been practicing this shit for weeks?!"
"oh my god, give me a break. you're so stuck up, sorry if I don't practice till the break of dawn everyday like you do. unlike you, I actually have a life, I don't have time to be a bratty perfectionist like you."
out of the corner of my eye, I see our youngest eunchae start to wanna speak up, but our leader chaewon stopping her from trying. with that, all the girls leave the room quietly as my blood boils at the words the raven-haired girl is throwing at me.
"I'm fucking stuck up? imagine having a career, THE dream job, and not even trying. you act like I don't have a goddamn life either jen, it's not my fault that I'm not lazy like you are."
the taller girl slings the guitar off her shoulder and aggressively puts it down before stomping up to me.
"I don't wanna hear your bossy mouth utter another word about my work ethic bitch. you're only so fussy about this because you don't have anything else in your life to look forward to."
"your sorry excuses are no use anymore yunjin. stop acting like you're the best when you're no better than an amateur, you're literally only here because there was no one else."
"did you want that to sting? sorry princess but that only works if it's the truth, we both know you all need me here. without me, you're nothing."
I clutch the strap of my bass and swing it off my body, immediately grabbing the collar of yunjin's shirt and pushing her back into the keyboard piano, making the stand shake.
"listen to me and listen fucking well. I can make you leave the band and you can act like it doesn't matter to you but I know you'll be devastated. I know you're just a scared little girl, too intimidated by the outside world to actually quit. you may not be scared of me which is why you don't try, but I'm exhausted of you trying to have power over me when you're just a weak sorry bitch who your parents are ashamed to care for anymore."
I struck it where it hurts because not only did I not care about if she would loathe me for my words, but I wanted it to.
suddenly, I'm being manhandled until my back falls against the couch in our practice room, yunjin's weight pressing me down. my hands struggle to push her off and break free, but her stronger grip grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head against the arm rest of the sofa.
"fuck off of me jen!" I yell at her, body wriggling under her own.
her free hand suddenly takes hold of my neck and squeezes, forcing my throat to let out a struggled squeak and breath.
"shut the fuck up whore! I'm so tired of your yapping!" the girl above me growls and tightens her hold on both my wrists and neck.
I look up at her with fear growing in my eyes, and I can see the pure rage on her face. I'm incapable of moving my arms and hands free of her iron grip, and it steadily gets harder to breathe as I feel her nails, though short, dig into my skin.
"you're insufferable. you think I'm a weak sorry bitch with no power over you, huh? let me remind you otherwise since you're too braindead to remember how strong I am."
yunjin's gaze is wild. the fire in her eyes has no sign of calming and the clench in her jaw as she lowers her face towards mine doesn't release any tension. but as she nears herself and comes unfathomably close, there's no denying the lust that clouds her dilated pupils.
as my breathing becomes impossible and I get lightheaded, my senses increase and I can hear my own heart pounding in my ears. I can also hear her shaky breath and feel it reach my face. her knee in between my thighs presses against my core and I release a choked whimper.
"I'm gonna treat you like my own sex toy and you're gonna want me to fuck your brains out after I lay waste to your body. you are gonna be my fuck doll and you're gonna love every second of it, you hear me? dirty little slut."
I'm simultaneously terrified of the intensity and escalation of the situation, but I'm also unbelievably horny at this point. the ache in between my legs grows hot and I feel it start to throb with the way her knee digs deeper into my core.
"I can't..." I manage to choke out, pleading with the darting of my eyes focusing on her face and between her intense glare.
yunjin eventually releases tension on my throat, and I can breathe again, oxygen slowly enabling itself to run through my lungs again. the lustful stare never wavers, however, and both of our gazes are fixed on each other's eyes.
"I don't care if you can't take it, I'm gonna make you."
with that, she moves her hand, once choking my neck, and grasps around it, fingers clutching my nape, her head diving in to begin leaving sloppy kisses trailing my jaw downwards. the pressure on my airways is gone, but my breath still stops in my throat as her mouth kisses, sucks, and bites harshly at my neck.
"w-wait... don't do t-that..." I stutter, telling her to slow down or stop.
"shut the fuck up." she growls aggressively against my ear, "I'm gonna have you however I want."
there's no room for protest as I feel the hand on my neck trail down my collarbone and between my breasts, her finger circling around my right boob and going inwards, finally pinching the nipple at the middle.
"nghh.." the noise in my throat releases on its own.
"my little slut, so easy to use. why else wouldn't you wear a bra under such a mesh shirt? you wanted this so bad, didn't you?"
the treatment of my boobs and nipples harshens as she's suddenly slapping her hand against them, watching as they jiggle under my thin shirt. I yelp out in pain, still feeling my core rush with wetness.
"you're wearing too much," yunjin scoffs.
her hand pops open all the buttons of my shirt and fingers return to harassing my hard buds. my body struggles under her again as her tongue drags along my neck and across my collarbone, the sharp bites of her teeth occasionally making me tug at the harsh grip at my wrists again.
the noises of her mouth on my skin are so wet, I can even hear her heavy breathing and small moans escape, intensifying the pleasure building in my lower stomach. I can't help but release a deep groan at one of my abused nipples being enveloped by her needy mouth.
"f-fuck.. no, s-stop- ahhhh..." I try to get out.
my words are drowned out by the sounds of my whimpers growing louder and the slurping of my tit in her mouth. my eyes struggle to keep open, watching her tongue flick around my bud, yunjin switching to my other boob, repeating everything all the same.
"can you stop moving? god, I'm doing something here and your flailing is infuriating." she let's out a frustrated huff before detaching completely from my body, reaching for something underneath the couch.
my hands are free for a second before I feel cold steel capture my wrists, cuffing them together and securing them on a pipe against the wall.
"so much better." she states satisfied before bringing both her hands to slap both of the sides of my boobs.
I let out an unstable shout at the stinging pain that followed, and it only continued as she grasped at my chest with both hands and kneads at them needily.
"jen... please, ahhh.." I whimper out.
"huh? what was that y/n? you need to speak up for me." she continues her abuse on my tits as my eyes water.
"it hurts..." I manage.
"oh is that so? too bad I don't really care. after all, if I were weak, it wouldn't hurt so much right?" yunjin says in a mocking tone.
her hands become aggressive, dragging themselves down my body and grasping hard at my waist, squeezing my thighs, before landing a harsh slap on my ass, one side, then the next.
"yunjin ah! please! fuck, it hurts..."
"a powerless little girl like me shouldn't be able to harm you, right y/n-ie?"
fuck you huh yunjin.
my eyes are still squeezed shut as I feel her start to unbuckle my pants and zip them down, taking my jeans off of me. my core is absolutely throbbing with desire, panties soaked.
she places a finger at the hem of my underwear, dragging the digit down, trailing my mound, to my aching clit, through my leaking entrance, then pinching the material and letting it snap back into place, warranting a shiver down my spine at the feeling.
"I should've known a whore like you would be drenched after all that. you kick and whine about how much it hurts but look at how much you fucking love it."
it's hard to argue with her when the anticipation to feel her relieve my desire grows stronger the more she messes with me.
"don't worry darling, I'll ruin you perfectly."
I feel my panties get pushed to the side before a hot and wet muscle is felt at the base of my entrance trailing up slowly, until there's a hard suck at my bundle of nerves.
"fuckkkkk ahhhh!!!" I let out an involuntary scream at the feeling.
god it feels so good, my eyes squeezed shut as her onslaught of eating me out continues, hard and fast. she bends my knees and forces my legs apart, holding my thighs so she has free reign of my pussy.
"mmm, it's in the way," I hear her mumble before a loud tear is heard, assumedly from my panties.
I could care less when she sucks hard with her mouth over both my clit and hole, tongue darting between circling my bundle of nerves and digging into my pussy. I tug hard at my restraints, wanting so badly to grasp her luscious dark hair and push her into me.
my hips move on their own, trying to grind against her mouth, but they fail when yunjin's hands push my thighs apart again and she wraps her arms around them, hands on my waist. I force my eyes open and look down at her, what a sight.
her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful. so unlike the rapid and desperate licking, sucking, and moaning coming out of her sinful mouth. the grip on my waist is firm but so gentle, her thumbs rubbing softly against my skin. she only takes a hand off of my waist to run fingers through her hair, pushing it back to have all the room she needs to indulge in my waterfall. yunjin definitely craved this more than me.
moans continued to slip out of my mouth, fueling her on.
"you're so delicious, this pussy is mine," I feel her mumble against my lips though still audible.
"fuck me jen, more more more, ahhh, yes, keep going just like that, oh my god!!!"
I was about to shut my eyes again until she looked up at me. through half lidded eyes, it almost looked like they were completely black, pupils so blown it was hard to tell if she was human. the desire was so fiery in her eyes and looking up at me only drew her in further, digging her face into my pussy.
her tongue dug impossibly deep into my hole, flicking wildly inside of me, making me arch my back in immense pleasure. her nose rubbing against my hot clit contributed to the build up of my impending climax.
the hold on my waist tightened, securing my hips down to the sofa, her eyes closed again as I shut my own as well, the noises coming from a mixture of my leaking pussy and her lewd slurping were indescribably orgasmic, the desperate moaning slipping from both of our mouths were borderline embarrassing if it weren't for our soundproof walls covering the sounds of sin.
"jennifer oh my god fuck fuck please, shit. b-baby... I'm, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum sosososo hard..." I rambled.
I heard as I continued to incoherently mumble anything that came to mind as I felt her grip on my waist start to hurt, nails digging into my skin, making my lower half impossible to move.
"give me your cum now, let me drink you," yunjin says with the sexiest most raspy voice I've heard from her.
a low moan from deep in her throat against my pussy vibrates against my clit, her tongue thrusting into my hole repeatedly at insane speeds. it was so overwhelming and more than enough to launch me over the edge.
my vision disappeared, my body shook viscerally, my mouth fell open and loud screaming came out of it as I orgasmed with so much pleasure. I felt my pussy gush cum into yunjin's expectant mouth, her tongue continuing to flail in me. I struggle hard against the restraints still, feeling my wrists sting with every tug. I can't think straight, my body shaking with every wave of pleasure that runs through me.
I fall limp, my head shaking left to right and mumbles coming out of my mouth. yunjin calms her pace and gives kitten licks up and down my slit, lapping up any other juices I released that she missed. her grip on my waist loosens, and they caress my sides carefully. she makes her way up to meet my face, planting abnormally soft kisses in her wake, her hands softly caressing my red skin. all the slap markings, all the bites, all the hickies, all the nail marks, spots red, spots bloody, her touch eases the pain.
"y/n..." she whispers against my ear, making me shiver.
I can't even open my eyes as the exhaustion hits me hard. I hear her mess with the pipe and cuffs around my wrists before I feel my hands fall against the arm rest again, freeing my arms finally. yunjin picks both of them up and places gentle pecks all around both wrists, slowly spreading her comfort across my entire body.
"jen..." a croak somehow comes out of my mouth.
"baby..." her voice, gentle...
"are you okay angel?" she whispers loud enough for me to hear.
my heart stops beating but resumes at the speed of sound after a moment.
I can't respond, and so she comes closer to my face and cups my cheek with a careful hand, intently observing my expression and condition. I feel her thumb softly caress my bottom lip and her stare fall onto my slightly open mouth.
"I.. I'm..." I can't form another word as the exhaustion catches up and my eyes fall shut.
every other sense of mine is alert, I'm still fully conscious, but my eyes refuse to open, they simply can't. I feel yunjin come closer to me then suddenly small kisses tracing my jaw, lips against my ear.
"you can rest y/n-ie, I'll do the rest."
wait, what?
her hand that was once on my face trails down my body, tracing over all the marks again, before her slender fingers slip between my folds, causing my entire body to jolt.
"jen?!" I shriek out, my hands flying to grip her arms.
"shhh, just relax. I told you already, you're just my little sex toy, I need to get my usage out of you."
fuck, I should've known she was feigning generosity.
I had no time to respond as after gathering enough of my cum from my last orgasm, yunjin swiftly slips two fingers into my tired cunt.
"FUCK!" I scream out.
my body reacts on its own, shaking against her warm body leaning against me.
"you've got another one in you, don't you?"
her pace picks up quickly, my pussy burning at the speed. suddenly, her thumb rubs harshly against my overstimulated clit, causing me to cry out.
"t-too much! please!" I sob into her shoulder.
yunjin's body hovers over mine, holding me close. one of my hands gripping her arm pumping in and out of me, the other clutching the back of her shirt, my face wet with tears flowing in her shoulder, melting into her neck.
"you should've thought about that before you talked shit huh?"
"I- I can't!"
"I already told you I don't fucking care y/n, how many times do I have to say it?"
I feel my own tears stain the taller girl's shirt as her fingers ram into my abused hole over and over again, pulling out all the way just to slam back into me again. I scream intensely when a third finger is added, immediately hitting that euphoric spot inside.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant between every pump of her swift fingers.
"you truly make the perfect little cum slut don't you?"
"jen, ah, ah, ah, please, fuck..."
"what is it baby? feel it coming again?"
I moan out an incomprehensible 'yes' in response, to which I feel yunjin smile against my forehead, planting a sweet peck.
"beg me angel, beg me to keep fucking you until you cum."
my eyes roll back into my head, tears still spilling out and hands gripping for dear life. even if I wanted to beg, I don't think I'm physically capable.
her fingers still inside of me, stopping her movement on my pussy entirely, even on my clit. I whine loudly in response, legs shaking and grip tightening on her.
"no no please yunjin, I- I need you, I need you to keep fucking me. I need to finish, I need your fingers, I'm so close jinny, please please, god please let me cum. I can't, I can't take it, it hurts, it hurts so bad, jen oh god please, don't fucking stop. I need you to keep going, please don't stop now, please please jen-"
my rambling is interrupted by her fingers pounding into my cunt once again, with impossible speed, making my throat strain with another uncontrollable scream of pleasure.
"let it go, give it to me y/n. I want to feel it gush around me again, I need to feel your body fall apart."
and just as quickly as it started, it ended. an explosion of euphoria ripples through me again, I feel goosebumps form on my skin as I moan deafeningly, my fingers sinking into yunjin's body and holding on for dear life. her fingers continue to get sucked into me, clenching hard onto her long digits as she rubs my clit still.
"yes, that's my girl, give it all to me."
my body is shaking, with every subtle touch yunjin does to me, it reacts. my mouth stays open as I can feel the saliva drool out, my eyes barely open but it's no use, it's not like I can see anything clearly.
"your body is just meant for this y/n, I was right. my perfect little angel, the best fuck doll for me."
her fingers slip out of me and I grunt at the loss of fullness. out of the very small field of view I have, I watch as she sucks the juices off her fingers, closing her eyes and savoring the flavor, licking up each of them one by one.
"you're doing so well, but baby..." she leans in and mumbles against my lips, "give me one more."
there's no room for resistance as she moves to get into position. what a menace huh yunjin is. she already knows I'm fucked out of my mind that I'm physically incapable of doing anything. I've always been really sensitive and she's using that weakness against me ten fold.
I try my best to pay attention to what she's doing, watching as she slides her shorts and panties down her legs, the two articles of clothing absolutely soaked. she gets on top of me again and lifts one of my legs up, wrapping it around her waist, her straddling my pussy with her own, interlocking our legs.
"it's finally my turn. fuckkk..."
she moans out as she starts to grind her pussy against mine. every thrust makes my body jolt with overstimulation, I don't know how to take it anymore.
however, watching huh yunjin roll her hips against me, her hands placing my own on her waist, watching as she throws her head back and sweat drips down her long neck, my pleasure grows again. the woman looks ethereal riding me, using my body to get off, it's unreal how delectable watching her fuck me is.
"f-faster, h-harder, jen..." both of us look surprised when I manage to speak.
a sinister smirk crawls and spreads across the aforementioned woman's face, hands on my thighs tapping in approval, "of course darling, who am I to deny?"
and so she fucks me harder, so much harder. so much fucking faster. I immediately see stars and the squelching lewd noises of our sopping cunts fill my ears, accompanied by the pornographic moans from both of us. I feel the rhythmic pattern of yunjin's hips rolling against me with my hands on her waist.
I pull her forward against me, thrusting my own hips up into her, gaining leverage and screaming out in pleasure as our clits bump repeatedly because of this.
"fuck y/n! you're so good at this, don't... don't you dare give out on me right now, you feel too fucking incredible."
the girl above me has her head down facing my own, eyes screwed shut, face scrunched up looking focused, mouth hanging open. one of my hands feel up her body, trailing up her covered front and grazing her nipples, eliciting a groan to come from her throat. my hand cups her cheek and pulls her closer to my face, making her open her eyes and make eye contact with me.
we stare straight into each others' eyes, observing the expressions on our faces, memorizing the view forever. I hate this girl so much, I hate her with my entire being, but she's beautiful, she's goddess-like, and she's absolutely perfect in my trembling hands, looking into my eyes like I'm the only one in her world.
yunjin leans in to finally kiss me, plump and soft lips roughly clashing against my own. I desperately chase to reciprocate the passion she pushes into my mouth, forcing my tongue into her and ramming it down her throat, making her moan out. her mouth feels like heaven on earth as I melt into her delicious strawberry flavored lips, tongue and her saliva tasting like all the cum she sucked out of my cunt just moments prior.
her thrusts become sloppy and I feel my hole start to clench around nothing as we moan into each others' mouth.
"cum with me love, cum with me, please baby, I need you." her voice shaky and sounding vulnerable.
I open my eyes one last time to look up at her, eyes getting watery too. I take her bottom lip into my mouth and pull away with my teeth, letting it go with a pop.
"I'm cumming love, I'm cumming..." I warn her.
I pull her into me and hug her, embracing her tightly as she painfully grips my thighs, stilling her hips and feeling her warmth leak all over my pussy. I moan along with her, screaming out in blinding pleasure, my heat flooding both of our thighs and running down my legs, onto the couch under.
she collapses on top of me, her entire body weight covering me completely. I snuggle my face into her neck, placing soft kisses around every area I could reach.
"are you okay?" I ask softly into her ear.
I'm met with no response but soft breathing near my ear. I peer over to look at her face and she's out cold.
I giggle softly at the gorgeous woman sprawled out on top of me, legs intertwined, cum running down our legs, her lips bruised and red.
"I think I won this argument jennifer."
a/n - i'm just realizing that this barely had any actual band dynamics or anything and that makes me sad bc i love that shit so much. sob, oh well maybe another time (part???). my first idea for this concept was slow down by chase atlantic but then i switched it bc i feel like i could write a better plot for the lyric i orginally chose so stay tuned mayhaps in the future. anyways, hiiiii first post pls don't bully me tumblr is foreign land to me but writing is not though I haven't written in months 😙 enjoy first fic w my actual gf (like actually fr fr huh yunjin is my gf she proofread this-)
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satcrvz · 2 months
Text
COME WHEN YOU CALL!!
title has nothing to do with the fic LOL i just like tv girl.
suguru geto x reader, around 1k words, slight gojo slander
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you were bored. you were currently hanging upside down on geto's bed, trying to make out the words on the posters scattered on his wall. geto on the other hand, was laying on his back with one hand in his hoodie, one holding his phone.
he finally decided to speak up on your 4th huff. "baby, i've asked you maybe . . . six times what you want to do."
you used your core to pull yourself up to look at him. "and i told you i don't know! you invited me."
"wrong," he interjects. "if i'm correct, you begged me to let you come over."
"shh!" you threw the build-a-bear the two of you got together. to no surprise, he blocked it before it hit him. moments later you gasp as if you just had the greatest idea ever. you grab the bear next to him and place it in your lap.
"we should play two truths and a lie!" he hums in agreement to your request.
"okay i'll start! let me think..." you glance around the room and play with the arms of the bear as you think of something that might stump him.
"okay i got it!" you clear your throat for dramatic effect. "one, i've gotten lost inside the market for 3 hours," he snickers at this and you warn him to let you finish.
"stop! two, i skipped school for an entire week. three, i've never broken a bone." you lean forward towards him with a grin, "guess."
he brings his hand up to his face to think. sure it was a lot harder than he expected, but he knew you, and he certainly knew when you were lying.
"you've never skipped school for an entire week."
your jaw drops before turning into a grin again. "you cheated. i thought i was a good liar!"
"hate to break it to you, but you're not." you pretend to be offended by his words. "at least you're pretty." you're kicking your feet internally. geto will never fail to fluster you with his words.
"okay!! you go."
"alright. one, i hate pineapples. two, i play guitar. three, i can't swim."
you narrow your eyes at him, looking for any signs of a lie. "hmm."
"i'm gonna say you can't play guitar." he laughs at you and takes this as an opportunity to tease you. "babe? you must not know me at all.."
you raise an eyebrow and decided to recall a certain conversation with gojo, prior to you and geto's relationship.
"suguru can actually play guitar?" you asked as you fiddled with the strums.
gojo takes this as an opportunity to sabotage geto. "nah, that's just for show!" he glances over at his best friend who was sitting on a beanbag. "he uses that to impress the girls he'll never get," he leans over to nudge your shoulder.
he sent a cocky glare to geto to which he payed no mind.
"and you believed that idiot?"
you huff and move to sit next to him rather than across. "it seemed believable! and it was the first thing i thought of after hearing your answers."
"never trust a word that blue eyed idiot says."
"lesson learned," you say. "so which one was the lie?" he informs you that the lie was that he can't swim.
you burst out laughing. "really? but you look like you can't swim!"
"hey!" he raises his arms defensively. "just because i don't swim often doesn't mean i can't."
"yeah, yeah." your eyes dart over to the guitar he has sitting by the bookcase. he follows your gaze and lands on the target.
"what? you want me to serenade you or somethin'?" he grins. that actually didn't sound like a bad idea. "maybe." you look at one of the posters near the guitar and asks if he likes the band. he nodded and got up to reach for the guitar.
"ooooh, you gonna play for me loverboy?"
geto smirks as he picks up the guitar, "maybe i will, if you act right." you pretend to zip your lips and throw away the key.
you watch as his fingers glide and strum against the guitar, creating a tune that fills the room. his expression is one of concentration, which you admired with an adoring gaze.
you smile at him as he finishes and puts the guitar down and joins you back on the bed.
"sugu, i can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"thought you would've put two and two together after seeing the guitar in my room."
"i told you, gojo lied to me!" you scoff.
"yikes! horrible liar and horrible at detecting lies."
you huff and decide to lay down in a way to where you aren't facing him.
YOU
bitch ur a liar
GOJO
whaaatt? ^^
YOU
about sugurus guitar being "for show"
im like so pissed off at you im heavily embarrassed. i look like a shit s/o!!!
GOJO
LOL! my bad :P
you were about to respond when the sound of getos voice went to your ears. he seemed much closer than before. "you're not a shit partner"
"oh my god what the fuck!" you laugh. "when did you get behind me?"
"like, 10 seconds ago."
"nosy." you glare playfully.
he wrapped his arms around your waist and continued to watch whatever you did on your phone. at one point, you'd gotten sidetracked and picked up his hand to play with his fingers and the rings that were on them.
maybe you should've thanked gojo instead of cussing him out. you could give him credit for noticing how nice your boyfriends hands were, you suppose.
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artofvisualshock · 5 months
Text
Messages from the GazettE to the fans (Google translations)
〈 RUKI 〉
At the end, he said, "I want the GazettE to be forever." I think what he meant by "forever" was that he hoped that the amazing scenes he saw from the stage in 2023 would continue forever.
The scenes he saw with his fans, the happy faces of his fans, and the scenes where we all sang together were treasures that could not be replaced by anything else, and I think he hoped that moment would continue forever.
I remember him saying that he wanted to perform live soon.
Even now that he's grown up, he was a kind and passionate man who can honestly say, "Even if something bad happens, it's the most fun when we get together like this and laugh with the band members."
I loved that honesty.
This year was no different, and every year on our birthdays we would jokingly tell each other to take care of our health.
The band will never be a four-man band.
No matter what anyone says.
Because you're the only bassist we have.
Because I believe that my soul is always beside me to the right.
I'm sure everyone can feel it, even if they can't see it.
The proof that Reita has built up in the GazettE so far will not disappear and will definitely live on.
I believe that, so I will continue to sing beside him so that his soul can be right beside me.
I will not become the GazettE that Reita hates.
I don't want to make him sad.
Although all humans live in a finite life, I believe that souls never disappear.
Reita's soul, the members, myself, and the fans.
I want to continue to perform live shows that make all the people who loved me want to come back to the stage forever, even after they have become souls.
So it is only with each and every one of our fans that we can create the scenery that we hoped he would be eternal.
That's why I want him to stay by my side and be there, unchanged from now on.
He should look at me and smile, and think, "He was the best guy!", rather than looking at me with a sad face.
We are more determined than ever to protect this band.
We will make Reita's wish for eternity come true.
So, Reita, rest assured that you can come to every live show from heaven.
Your seat will always be there.
You're going to be super busy from now on.
I'll contact you again when the schedule is decided.
-----------------
<Uruha>
To all the fans who have supported REITA up until now.
I think he was a huge support for everyone, and for me.
I myself have not been able to accept and realize the fact that he is no longer here and that we can no longer stand on stage together.
There may be many things that I will come to understand little by little from now on.
However, if I continue to be drowning in sadness, I will not be able to make his wish for eternity come true, and I strongly feel that now is the time for me to have the strength to look forward and move forward.
I also think that the path we walked together until now was irreplaceable for him, and I think it will continue to live in the hearts of everyone and myself.
He gave us so much, and we walked together for so long, and he is still and will always be our best friend.
Please treasure all the words, memories, and love he left behind in your heart.
REITA will continue to exist and live in everyone's hearts.
We would like to express our sincere gratitude to everyone who has supported and cheered on the GazettE REITA.
-----------------
〈 Aoi 〉
For a long time, the members and a small staff have been working on various projects, saying "this and that," but writing this letter was the last thing I wanted to do.
There have been moments when I felt like giving up on my dreams.
Every time, we talked about it again and again, sometimes pushing each other, and pulling the members' arms so that they wouldn't give up.
Because we were such a band, the GazettE has been able to keep moving forward without stopping.
REITA, you're not the one who wishes for eternity, you're the one who connects eternity.
I can't say something clever like "I'll take care of you."
I wanted to make more music with you, and see more scenery together.
Every scenery is wonderful because we see it with the five of us, surrounded by our fans.
I don't know why, but it's so painful that I can't make it happen even though I have so many things I want to say.
When I get there, I'm going to start with a big lecture. I know it's lonely because we're gone so suddenly, but please take a rest until then.
I have a few more things to do here.
Thank you for walking this long road with me. Rest in peace.
-----------------
〈 Kai 〉
For me, REITA is an immeasurably big presence, saved by his many words and sounds, the mood maker for the band, and all I remember are really fun things, and above all, the sight of him shining on stage.
He is the best partner and the only one in the rhythm section.
That has never changed, and will never change in the future.
I want to continue carrying his feelings and continue with the GazettE with even greater resolve.
Finally, to all the fans and people involved who have supported us for the past 22 years.
Thank you very much.
And from now on, our feelings will remain the same and we would like to continue running as a group of five, so please continue to support us.
REITA
Thank you for all your hard work.
With the same feelings, we will continue to protect the GazettE together with our many friends... I promise.
There are many friends out there who don't want your 22 years to go to waste, and they are waiting for you.
You must come to our shows too!
Let's have some good sake again.
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foxaftershocks · 5 months
Note
HEAR ME OUT!! Lars with a reader, who was a ghost but somehow got their life back. Because of that, reader is pretty much forced to be in the lab 24/7 (much to their disdain) with Lars running tests on them. Enemies to lovers 🫶
(Also, you're like the best author ever on here.)
Clearly I really liked this prompt because I wrote a lot for it. Like, seriously, this is so long. I hope you like it as much as I do.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
Lars growled under his breath, pushing his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. Sitting on the able, feet kicking backwards and forwards, you were grinning at him with such smugness it made his blood boil. He knew how to do his job without the input of a woman who knew nothing about parapsychology. You weren’t a scientist. You were just some girl who happened to come back to life. Nothing special.
“Still wrong,” you sung.
His fingers tightened around your arm, holding you still. He tightened the band around your bicep, pressing the electrodes against your chest with more force than was necessary. You muttered something just outside of his hearing, most likely a curse word. Your swearing was not something he was unfamiliar with. It had been resounding through the lab for weeks now.
“Just sit still,” he ordered, returning to his equipment.
You wiggled right up until the point he turned the machine on, probably trying to make a point. If you were, he missed it through disinterest. He watched the output on the machine, your heartbeat strong and steady. No blips, nothing to suggest you’d once been a ghost.
“Anything?” you asked.
He pressed his lips together. You could never just sit in silence, continually talking in his ear, playing with his stuff. Your presence was was unending. You had been made to live in the lab while they worked out how you’d come back, and as someone who basically lived in the lab himself, you had seemed to designate him as your favourite form of entertainment. You needled him. He knew it. And yet he kept letting you get under his skin.
“Not if you keep talking,” he said.
He got up, moving closer to readjust a few of the monitors. Returning back to the readout, there was a spike in your heart rate before it calmed down again. Interesting. Glancing up, you were glaring at him, seemingly not feeling the exertion you were showing.
“Feeling alright?” he asked.
“Aw, you do care,” you said, sarcasm dripping from every word.
“Just answer the question,” he said.
“I feel fine,” you replied.
He watched you for another moment. Your head tipped up, looking to the ceiling as your feet continued to kick. You did seem fine. He had to trust you on that.
He hated not having answers.
You floated away on soft footsteps when he released you from his tests. You didn’t even bother saying goodbye and he knew it’s because he’d be seeing you later. You never seemed able to stop yourself from interrupting his day.
Looking back over the readouts the only thing that jumped out at him was the elevation in heart rate for a few minutes. Nothing else suggested anything had happened. He stared at it, trying to piece together what was going on. And yet it still wasn’t outside the bounds of normal mortal hearts.
Nothing indicated how you’d come back from being a ghost. Every test bringing up nothing. If he was a religious man, he would have said it was God playing a cosmic practical joke on him, sending him the one person who drove him crazy.
“If you never find anything am I forced to stay here until I become a ghost again?” you asked, appearing out of nowhere, whispering in his ear.
Perhaps you’d brought some things back with you when you’d become corporeal again. Silent as the wind, able to sneak up on him, your laughter echoing long after you were gone. It was eery and yet nothing indicated you were anything but a healthy human.
“You’ll stay here as long as necessary,” he replied, refusing to give you more.
“At what point does this become kidnapping?” you mused, hauling yourself up onto the bench in front of him.
Your feet kicked again, your toes brushing against his thigh. He froze, the feeling lingering before you did it again. He caught you, fingers circling your ankle. Your eyes found his, lips curling up into a slight smile. He stared back, caught in a bubble of time where everything stopped. Breath held and body frozen, the warmth of your soft skin against his making his head spin.
“Don’t tempt me to tie you up,” he murmured.
“Pretty kinky, Pinfield,” you said, voice soft and if he didn’t know any better, he’d think you were sharing a joke with him, “who knew you had it in you.”
“I’m full of surprises.”
Your eyes lit up and he had to fight against the impulse to find out every single way he could make it happen again. There was something about it, the way it felt like a constant battle of wits with you. It was intoxicating.
He shoved your foot away, coming back to himself. You drew back from where you’d been leaning closer to him and he turned away, ignoring you as he tried to get on with work. From his peripheral vision he saw you slide back to the ground, a huffed laugh coming from you as you slipped away.
He lost track of you again, hours going by until the sun had gone down. A bed had been set up in what had once been a junk room for you to sleep in, the veneer of privacy all the lab could offer you. For months you’d been living there, under observation, in case something changed. There was no explanation for how you’d come back from your stint as a ghost. Nothing paranormal going on anymore.
You were a mystery he was determined to solve.
A bowl of noodles was slid in front of him. Looking up, he found you taking a seat across from him, your own bowl steaming in front of you. He looked down into it, his glasses steaming up with the condensation. He huffed, taking them off to wipe them clean. The expression on your face when he put them on again wasn’t one he’d seen before.
“What’s this?” he asked, nudging the bowl you’d placed in front of him.
“Ramen,” you replied, “only the instant stuff from the kitchen but it’s better than nothing.”
He sniffed, pursing his lips at you.
“It’s not poisoned,” you said.
Your chopsticks dipped into your own bowl, pulling noodles into your mouth. He watched you for a moment, before sighing, the rumble of his stomach enough to urge him on. If it was poisoned they’d find his body in the morning and be hunting you down.
“Is there a reason you stay so late every night?” you asked, “I know you’re not doing it to keep me company.”
“I have a lot of work to do,” he replied, surprised you’d asked.
“You sleep here sometimes,” you said, an offhand observation as you shovelled more noodles in your mouth.
“You always sleep here,” he replied.
“Not by choice,” you muttered, chopsticks stabbing down.
“Do you really hate it here so much?” he asked.
“Pinfield, you’ve made me a prisoner. I can’t leave without supervision. I can’t go home. You haven’t even let me contact my friends and family. You try being happy under those circumstances,” you said, levelling a glare at him.
“But you got a second chance,” he said, not hiding his frustration, “you came back. No one else has ever gotten that.”
“That you know of,” you said, almost in a sing song voice.
He paused for a moment. It’s true, someone else could have returned from ghosthood without being documented. It took long enough for people to even accept the existence of the paranormal. Documented cases were a mixed bag of those with scientific merit and those without.
“Can I expect to see you at breakfast?” you asked, “I have strawberry poptarts.”
“You’re mad if you think those are better than the brown sugar cinnamon ones,” he said.
“I have to assume this wrong opinion is because you’re not from here,” you said, sounding deadly serious.
“I’ve done the research. I have the data. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable but the science speaks for itself,” he said, adjusting his glasses.
“Well, you can keep your pseudoscience and your bad taste to yourself. You’re not invited to breakfast anymore,” you said, sniffing.
The spike of irritation cut through the playful atmosphere. That word, pseudoscience, it was the exact thing to raise his hackles. He would never engage in such stupidity. To be reduced to such a word had his blood boiling.
But then he looked up and saw the way you were smiling into your ramen, eyes darting up to him, the twinkle obvious. The irritation melted away upon the realisation that you were poking fun at him. That you were joking. That you were purposefully trying to get under his skin. And you knew him well enough to do it with ease. He’d fallen right into your trap.
A spark of electricity ran through his veins at the realisation.
“Don’t work too hard, nerd,” you said, hopping off your stool, taking the empty bowl away from in front of him.
He watched you walk away, many things going on in his head. Mostly, surprise that it had been pleasant having dinner with you. That spark of playfulness made him want to follow you and that didn’t sit right with him.
Accepting that, he decided to head home, the night over for him. There was no chance he was going to be able to finish his work. Not when he knew you could be lurking in the shadows around him.
The next morning he found you sitting in front of the possessor’s enclosure, seeming to play with it from behind the plexiglass. One of those cursed poptarts was dangling from one hand, half eaten as your focus was completely on the ghost in front of you. He let himself watch you, knowing he wasn’t being watched in return. Your smile was bright, your laugh genuine, eyes sparkling as you played. It struck him that you’d never looked at him that way.
“Please tell me you’re not trying to convert the possessor to your inferior flavour of poptarts,” he said.
You looked up, the smile slipping from your face. With a grace he knew he would never had, you rose from your crossed legged position, looking at him with a scowl. Approaching, he found his eyes resting on the bit of icing clinging to the corner of your lips. Without much thought, he reached up, thumb brushing it free. You blinked, mouth falling open. He cursed inwardly, not sure what to make of his own actions.
“More tests today,” he said, hoping to sweep what he’d done under the rug.
“Yay, I cannot wait,” you said, the sarcasm back in your tone.
“Follow me,” he ordered.
You trailed behind him, finishing off your breakfast. He was trying to ignore it, the sound of you, the feeling of your skin burning the pad of his thumb, the unsettled feeling in his stomach. He didn’t even need to ask you as you hopped up onto the gurney that had been set up after one too many accidents in the lab. Having a routine with you felt intimate, like your lives were intwining too much and he wanted to force you out.
“Blood works today,” he said, already reaching for a needle.
“I’m going to be a ghost again from all the blood you take,” you muttered.
When he turned back to you, your hands were crossed over the front of your body, holding the hem of your jumper. It was like watching in slow motion as you lifted it over your head, exposing the tight tank top you had on underneath. His eyes were lingering on your body, longer than he knew was appropriate, and yet not able to stop.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you said, dumping the crumpled up jumper to one side.
He didn’t have an answer. The entire day was not going the way he expected and he felt off kilter, almost dizzy with his own reaction to you. Ignoring it, he stepped up to you, taking one arm. He was close enough to hear your snort, the brush of your breath against his skin sending a shiver down his spine.
With a soft fingertip, he traced over the veins inside your elbow. The breath seemed to stutter in your chest and he looked up at you, from under eyelashes, head still bowed over your arm. Your lips had parted again, something inexplicable on your face. He wanted to dig down into the expression, to take it apart until he understood every part of it. The look in your eyes was making him want to drag you closer.
“Don’t look,” he murmured, plucking the needle up from where it waited.
Your eyes closed, face turning away from him. He let his gaze linger for a moment longer before he got to work. Just another sample to be analysed later. He pushed whatever moment had passed the between of you to the back of his mind, not wanting to think on it.
“All done,” he said, pressing a cotton bud to the point of extraction.
Your finger brushed his as you took over applying pressure to the inside of your elbow. He took a moment before he stepped away, checking your colour. You looked up, catching him in the act, lips quirking up in a questioning smile.
“Go eat something,” he said, “not one of those awful poptarts.”
“Make me,” you said.
The impulse to carry you away and force you to eat something good was intense. He could picture it, the way he would sling you over his shoulder and march away with you. It was very caveman, so different from how he usually was. It broke the moment, leaving him unsure of what to say as he stepped back. Something flashed over your face, too quick for him to understand as you slithered to the floor.
“Enjoy staring at my blood you psycho,” you said as a parting shot.
“I’m not-“ he called after you before giving up. It wasn’t worth it.
He took some time to go analyse the new blood sample, searching for any paranormal signifiers. It seemed normal, like anyone else’s blood would. Dead end after dead end was making him want to bash his head against the wall. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.
He kept telling himself it was to get you out of his lab. Even if that little voice in the back of his head was saying something else.
The next time he saw you, you were curled up in one of the old armchairs that Lucky had dragged in one day in order to make the place more comfortable. You had a book open in your lap, hair falling forward. He paused, watching when your finger reached up, tucking some of the hair behind your ear. He could imagine it, the path his finger would take as he did the same thing, your soft skin against his fingertip.
“You’re actually quite smart,” you said and he realised his presence hadn’t gone as unnoticed as he thought.
“I know I am,” he replied.
Stepping closer, he noticed the book in your lap was a collection of essays, one of which he knew was his. Written a few years ago, before he’d had the funding he did now, his research was splayed out in your lap, your gaze tracing over it. The intimate feeling was a shock to him, the way it felt as if you were caressing his brain. You were reading his words. Words written years ago before he knew someone like you could exist. He felt his chest puff when you looked at him.
“Your writing could be clearer. You make it all so complicated,” you said.
He deflated, the pride he’d felt leaking from him. Once again, it left a flickering flame of resentment in its wake, and he wanted to lash out again. His mouth opened but you beat him to the punch.
“But your ideas are sound and you clearly know your stuff. I suppose I’m lucky I have your mind working on whatever mystery is going on with me.”
He sauntered closer, that same pride reigniting. You watched him approach, a half smile on your face as if you knew the exact reaction you were causing in him. He felt smug, knowing he was taking up space in your brain. You’d spent your time reading his research paper. You’d taken time out of your day to let his words seep into your brain.
“Very lucky,” he said, coming to a stop in front of you.
His words might have been flirty if it was anyone but you.
“But then I suppose you’re lucky getting to spend so much time with me,” you said.
Your bare foot reached out, your toes brushing against his shin. He lent forward, hands coming to rest on the back of the chair, right above your head. Towering over you, you looked so small to him, like something he could protect. But he kept you trapped there, looking down into your face.
“Lucky to have such a pain in my arse?” he asked, keeping his tone light.
“Well, you need something to get the stick out of it,” you replied. Only there was no bite to it.
“Been thinking about my arse a lot, have you?” he asked.
“You should be so lucky,” you laughed.
He lent closer, watching the moment you realised how close he was. He found himself feeling out of control around you, like his inhibitions had fled him. He couldn’t help it. Whenever it came to you lately, he lost himself to giving in to all his impulses.
One of which was screaming loudly at him.
The laughter died on your lips and he didn’t miss it when your eyes dipped down to his. He was close enough to feel your warmth, towering over you, leaning into your space. Your fingers clenched around the book in your lap, foot brushing his leg again. Just that touch, small as it was, sent electricity rocketing through his body. He wanted more of it. He wanted more of you.
Oh.
Oh no.
He wanted you.
He had never denied you were beautiful, that you were bright, that you were charismatic. But he had denied ever liking you. Only now, so close to you, watching the way you reacted to him, it became blindly obvious to him that he’d been lying to himself.
“Can I help you with something, Pinfield?” you asked, voice soft, barely above a murmur.
He thought that if he kissed you now you would kiss him back. Almost certain of it. Pretty sure you would. But that small amount of doubt niggled at him. You could be so prickly with him and you’d told him you hated being there. He was part of the lab. What if you actually didn’t like him?
“Cat got your tongue?” Your half smile had softened, just enough to make him question it all again, “I don’t think you’ve ever been so silent with me.”
He lent back, straightening up, leaving you blinking up at him, confusion marring your features. Turning on his heels, he stalked away from you, the confusion and the tangle of confused emotions making him need to retreat as fast as possible. The ache was new, wanting to go back and finish what he’d started. He couldn’t. Not if you were going to laugh in his face and tell him he was deluded. No one like you could ever possibly want him.
So he did the cowardly thing. He avoided you.
Days went by, hiding away in shadowy corners, doing all the work he’d been putting off to study you. The things no one wanted to do. Filing, cleaning, sorting, anything to keep you from finding him. Only he’d misjudged it. He’d forgotten you’d been living there long enough to find every single secret hiding spot.
After a few days, you found him in a secluded corner, far from everyone else working in the lab. He didn’t know how many other people knew about that spot, retreating to it whenever he needed time alone. Sitting on the floor, knees bent towards his chest, head in his hands, fingers clenched in his hair, he didn’t notice your approach. Or rather, the left over ghostly powers you had kept you silent as you came upon him.
“Have you given up on me?” His head jerked up at your voice, “the fire get too hot for you?”
“What?” he asked. You couldn’t know. There was no way you could know.
“Usually you’re poking and prodding me every day trying to figure out why ghosthood has forsaken me. Have you finally accepted there’s nothing to find and I can be released back into the wild?”
You walked towards him, and his mouth went dry with how your hips swayed. You stood over him, hands on your hips, staring down at him with an oddly fierce look on your face.
“I know it’s not because you’re doing anything more important. Clearly. Look at you. You’re sitting here in the dark doing nothing,” he said.
“Maybe that’s more important than studying you,” he replied, leaning his head back against the wall as he gazed up at you.
“Either you’re working on this mystery or you’re not. If you’re done can you let me know so I can clear out of here. I’d like to have a real place to live again,” you said.
“It’ll get done,” he replied.
“Really? Because you’ve been M.I.A. for days now. My entire life is put on paused because you can’t be bothered doing your job,” you continued on, as if you didn’t care about his answer.
“It’ll get done,” he said, firmer, standing as if that would get the point across.
“Sure it will, after you’ve spent the right amount of time hiding from the big scary scientific questions. What’s got you so rattled huh? I didn’t take you for the kind of man who would go running scared the minute things got difficult,” you said.
“Shut up,” he said.
“Or what?” you demanded, “the longer you drag your feet on this the longer I’m forced to live like a fugitive on the run hiding out from the law. Or maybe you hate me enough to want to keep me under lock and key.”
“You don’t know anything,” he ground out from between gritted teeth.
“Clearly because apparently I’m so abhorrent you have to avoid me. I thought we were alright. Fuck me, I guess. I can’t keep up with you. There is something seriously wrong with you, dude,” you said.
“Shut up,” he said again, taking a step forward until he was in your personal space.
He could feel all of the emotions simmering under the surface. You were staring at him, anger flashing in your eyes and you looked fierce. It made his blood sing, going toe to toe with you. He didn’t have the ability to deal with this today, not when he’d been fighting against his need to grab you and kiss you and drag you into the first private place he could find and show you exactly what you did to him.
“Not until you explain why you’re leaving me high and dry,” you said, both hands coming up to shove at his chest.
He caught you around the wrists, holding you like a pair of manacles. His thumb brushed over the bare skin of your inner wrist, over your pulse point. You stared at him, mouth falling open and he couldn’t figure out if it was through confusion or indignation. Tugging you closer, you were so close, your body heat brushing against him and he realised what a mistake that had been. But once again, impulse took over his brain when you were near.
“What are you doing?” you all but whispered.
“Shutting you up.”
He swooped down, kissing you, his fingers tightening around your wrists. He felt you gasp more than he heard it, but it was enough for his tongue to slip into your mouth. You were frozen for just a moment and he was certain you were about to knee him in the gonads. Then, you melted, pressing closer, kissing him back until you took his breath away.
The fire and the passion you’d brought about in him seemed to have found a match. You tugged out of his hold, arms twining around his neck as his hands slid around your body, pressing you into him. The small noise you made only stoked the fire further. His hands cupped your arse and your teeth sunk into his lower lip. He was surprised at the rush that gave him, the spike of pain followed by the soothing of your tongue running over it.
He spun, pushing you against the wall he’d so recently been leaning against. You arched towards him. His hands landed either side of your body, keeping you trapped there, caging you in. You kissed him deeper, longer, and all he could do was groan and sink into it.
You were everywhere, in every single one of his senses, consuming him. All he could do was press closer, groaning when your fingers slid into his hair, tugging on it, playing with it, mussing it. It was so much better than he could have imagined.
“Fuck love,” he mumbled, his lips trailing down your neck, “who knew shutting you up could be so enjoyable in so many ways?”
“You’re such an asshole,” you laughed, breathless as you tilted your head, offering yourself up to him.
“I think that says more about you than it does about me,” he said, teeth sinking in to your skin for just a moment.
“No one said I ever made the sensible decisions,” you said.
He drew back, looking at you. Bright eyes and kiss stung lips, you were a vision he would never grow tired of seeing. He brought a hand up, cupping your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. You nipped at the pad of his thumb and he chuckled.
“Then I think you should have dinner with me tonight,” he said, “if you’re determined to not make sensible decisions.”
“I’m not allowed out,” you reminded him.
“You are with supervision. Call me your own personal ankle monitor,” he said, “I won’t take my eyes off you.”
“Sounds like you’ll be getting more out of it than I will. Especially if I wear a sexy little number,” you said.
“And why would you do that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Maybe because I’m so desperate to sleep in a proper bed I’m willing to go home with you,” you replied.
“So you’re going to seduce me?”
“I think I already have.”
You looked down, indicating the lack f space between your bodies. The leg he’d inserted between yours. The hand on your hip, keeping you pressed against the wall. His own swollen lips and flushed cheeks. The chuckle that fell from his lips was soft, and yet joyful.
“I suppose you have,” he agreed.
“So, dinner?” you asked.
“Tonight. No need for a sec little number. I’ll be taking you home even if you’re in your pyjamas,” he said and he liked the way that sentiment seemed to melt you.
“I think you might be a closet romantic, Pinfield,” you said, lips curling up into a small smile.
“I suppose you’ll have to stick with me if you want to find out,” he replied.
Impulse drove him to kiss you again, only this time, he was certain you’d kiss him back. You did not disappoint.
185 notes · View notes
steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
Note
Hi! Hope ur doing great! First of all, I really love your fics! I think you're really talented.
I have a request, if it's not too much trouble. I can't stop thinking about a Steve w/head trauma (so, maybe migraine prone, memory issues, etc) and a DM Eddie that still resents Steve from high school. Eddie doesn't know Steve struggles with the complications of his concussions, so he keeps judging him for it. Say, for example, Steve got a terrible migraine and couldn't pick the kids up from Dnd and Eddie thinks he's probably at a party and stood them up. Then Eddie finds out, maybe from Steve himself or a Party member or Steve's parents. (If you could somehow sneak in Steve's parents being good caring parents for one, it'd be really cool.) Eddie apologizes and they start getting closer. And, yeah, that's all. Thank you!!!
We know I love writing Steve with a migraine. Not to jinx anything, but it's been almost two weeks since I've had one myself so I'm sure the torture I put him through here will have instant karma and I will wake up with one. Is it realistic for Eddie to pretty much fall instantly in love with a man he hated the night before? No. Do I write realistic stories? No. Buckle up for the fastest burn you can possibly read today! - Mickala ❤️
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Steve Harrington was late.
Not just a few minutes late, not like he maybe got held up at a light for an extra two minutes, not like he had to stop for gas.
He was 25 minutes late.
Eddie was pissed.
He didn’t mind hanging out with the kids longer, wouldn’t have even minded if he’d just been given a heads up that Steve would be late.
A phone call.
A fucking letter by pigeon.
Anything.
Dustin seemed worried, more than anyone else, though the later it got, the more Lucas and Will and Mike seemed to worry too.
And Eddie would maybe worry too, except he knew what was happening.
He knew because it’s all he ever expected of Steve.
Steve probably went to a party, thought he could make his rounds, maybe have a drink and sober up in time to come get the kids.
And then he probably got bribed into having another drink, maybe smoke a joint in the backyard of whatever rich kid’s house he was visiting, maybe have a shot with a group of kids who liked to spend their time bullying the very kids he was supposed to be picking up.
Maybe fuck a girl in a bedroom upstairs until he was too tired and just passed out on top of her.
He rolled his eyes at the thought.
“Maybe we could try to call his house again?” Lucas asked.
“He didn’t answer the first four times, why would he now?” Mike asked, though his eyes kept scanning the road into the trailer park, searching for headlights that wouldn’t appear.
And wasn’t that just the last straw for Eddie? Watching his favorite gremlins admire and respect someone who couldn’t even remember to pick them up? Watching them expect so much from a guy who peaked in high school, who didn’t care about them if it hindered his plans?
“You guys wait here,” he said, his hands shaking with anger.
“Where are you going?” Will asked.
“To call Robin. If anyone will know what’s up, she will,” he replied.
It was late, but not too late for a phone call between adults.
“Buckley residence, you’ve got Robin,” Robin answered the phone with a bored tone.
“Any clue why your best friend is 30 minutes late to pick the kids up from my house?” He tried not to sound angry at her, it wasn’t her fault.
But he couldn’t hide the fact that he didn’t understand what band nerd, lesbian, nice person Robin could possibly see in Steve.
Sure, he carted the kids around a lot, and had helped Wayne out with Eddie’s medical stuff after Vecna, but it felt like he did it out of guilt more than anything else.
“He’s never late,” she said, her tone sharp, defensive. “You sure he knew they needed rides?”
“Positive. I heard him yell to them when he dropped them off that he’d see them in three hours.”
Robin didn’t respond for a minute, and he almost thought the line went dead.
“Has Dustin tried the walkie?” She finally asked.
“Yeah. No answer.”
“Shit.”
Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Wanna fill me in here, Buckaroo?”
“Um. Can you bring the kids home? I gotta go check on him.”
Before he could respond, the dial tone let him know she was already gone.
“Fuck!” He yelled.
He hung up the phone and grit his teeth together.
The problem wasn’t taking the kids home, he really didn’t mind and had told them on multiple occasions that he could so they didn’t have to rely on Steve to do it.
The problem was that they had relied on Steve and he let them down.
He hated that he’d have to go out there and tell them that Steve wasn’t coming.
He hates Steve for the way he would have to watch their faces fall, for the way they’d ride to their homes in silence.
He hated Steve for the fact that he’d probably buy them all ice cream tomorrow to apologize and they’d all rely on him again.
All would be forgiven.
———————————-
The next morning, he tried calling Robin and got no answer.
He tried calling Dustin and got no answer, though he wasn’t as surprised by that since he’d already been considering going to the Sinclairs’ to spend the weekend since his mom was working.
He tried Steve’s house and got an answering machine. Twice.
He considered leaving a scathing message, but didn’t want to risk one of his parents hearing it and deleting it.
“Fuck it,” he said to himself before he grabbed his keys and decided to drive to Steve’s house.
He was a little surprised to actually see Steve’s car in the driveway, half expecting him to still be passed out at some stranger’s house.
Before he could ring the doorbell, the front door swung open and Robin’s wide eyes were silently begging him to stay quiet.
She looked exhausted, a little flustered, more stressed than he’d seen in a long time.
“What’s going on?” He asked.
Maybe Steve drank more than he should’ve, maybe he wasn’t actually home and she was trying to find him still.
“Come in but be quiet. He’s finally sleeping,” she said, already walking back into the house.
He followed, closing the door behind him and giving his surroundings a quick look.
Everything looked perfect as usual except for Robin’s shoes by the door and her backpack open on the floor by the couch.
The couch that Steve was currently passed out on, blankets almost completely covering his head, ice pack resting over his eyes.
Eddie’s brows furrowed.
“Hangover?” He whispered to Robin.
She looked at him confused.
“No? He hasn’t drank in nearly a year.”
If Eddie didn’t have more control over his body, his jaw would’ve dropped.
“Oh. Um. So is he sick?” Eddie tried to gather up his thoughts, glancing over at the sleeping form on the couch.
He noticed the curtains closed and no lights turned on, noticed the complete silence in the house except for the sound of a fan running in the corner.
“He gets migraines. I thought you knew,” she said.
Eddie shook his head.
“He’s had a lot of head trauma. Gets migraines that make it impossible to even sit up sometimes. I guess he was fighting it most of the day yesterday but after he dropped the kids off with you, he passed out in the shower and barely was able to crawl to his bed after. When you called me, I kind of assumed the worst, so I came straight here and saw him naked and shivering in bed, not able to get up to get dressed or even get the covers on. Got him dressed, got him water and meds, called his parents, tried to help him eat. He spent almost an hour throwing up after that. Then he cried because he forgot the kids. Memory problems happen with the head trauma, too. I couldn’t calm him down until about an hour ago.”
Eddie let himself feel the guilt he deserved for thinking the worst of Steve.
Steve didn’t deserve this. No one did.
“Does he need to go to the hospital?” Eddie whispered, his voice broken thinking about how Steve had been alone here, probably scared when he was curled up in his bed unable to move.
“No. His parents are on their way. If it’s not better tomorrow, they’ll probably take him to his neurologist,” Robin responded.
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
A whimper came from the couch, causing Robin to tense and hold her breath.
Eddie looked over and waited to see if maybe Steve was completely awake or if he’d just made a noise in his sleep.
After a few seconds, Robin relaxed, and he felt a breath leave his body.
“How often does this happen?” he whispered as she went to grab a drink from the fridge.
“This bad? Once a month or so. He sometimes has some memory problems without the migraine, but luckily he snaps back quickly,” she shrugged, acted as if it wasn’t a big deal, but Eddie could see right through her.
“And you help him a lot?”
“Well, his parents travel a lot for work, and he can’t always call them or remember how to contact them when it’s this bad, so yeah. I tend to be the one to take care of him until they can get here,” she said.
Eddie chewed on a piece of his hair, glancing over towards the couch every few seconds.
He was surprised this hadn’t come up before.
He was even more surprised that none of the kids had mentioned this as a possibility last night.
“Why didn’t the kids mention it last night when I was pissed?” he finally asked.
“Steve doesn’t really tell anyone. Like, the kids know, but they’ve never actually seen it, and so I think they just kinda forget. He doesn’t wanna bother them with it.”
“That’s stupid, they care about h-”
The front door started to open and a woman peeked her head inside.
Robin ran over as quickly and quietly as she could and Eddie stood awkwardly behind the couch as a middle aged woman walked into the house.
A man followed a few seconds after, a bag in hand.
“Is he asleep?” the woman asked.
“Yeah,” Robin replied before explaining much of what she’d already told Eddie to them.
The Harringtons looked surprisingly put together for a couple who probably hadn’t slept all night and most likely had flown home from somewhere as quickly as they could. They also looked nothing like what Eddie expected.
Mr. Harrington was bald, age spots on his head giving away that he must have been quite a few years older than Mrs. Harrington. She had the same color hair as Steve, same voluminous style, cut just above the shoulders. They both wore glasses, and both of them were wearing business attire like they’d rushed back directly from a meeting.
“And who is this?” he heard Mr. Harrington ask, gesturing towards Eddie.
He walked over and put his hand out to shake, trying to remember the best manners he could.
“I’m Eddie, a friend of Steve’s.”
He could feel Robin staring at him, but didn’t turn towards her. Instead, he shook Mrs. Harrington’s hand and then offered to help with any other bags they have.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. We can get them later. Since he’s asleep, we’re gonna go freshen up a bit and then you can head on home. Thank you for taking care of him, Robin. You know we appreciate you so much,” Mrs. Harrington said as she hugged her.
“It’s never a problem. Take your time,” she said.
“I’ll stay, Robin. You should go home and sleep,” Eddie offered before he could think about what he was offering.
“You’ll stay? With Steve?” Robin asked incredulously.
“Yeah. He seems pretty out of it so I’m sure he won’t even wake up before they’re done,” Eddie said, hopeful that he was right.
“Alright, my mom should be here in a few minutes anyway. She was bringing me a change of clothes in case I ended up staying today, so she can just bring me home,” Robin said hesitantly.
“Okay.”
The Harringtons nodded and walked upstairs without another word, most likely too tired to care much about who stayed with Steve as long as he was being looked after.
“Eddie, you don’t have to do this,” Robin said when they were gone.
“I know. But I’m the only one here who slept last night, I can handle it for a bit.”
“He can be…kind of a lot,” she sounded like she didn’t want to admit it, didn’t like saying something negative about him at all.
“It’s fine. If he’s in this much pain, then it’s understandable.”
Robin looked him over for a moment, something like understanding finally showing on her face. He didn’t know what she was understanding, but he was just grateful she didn’t seem to want to talk more.
She started zipping up her backpack, putting on her shoes, and whispering some basic instructions to Eddie in case Steve woke up.
“Replace the ice pack, don’t let him try to move off the couch by himself and only if he has to use the bathroom. The bucket at the end of the couch is if he gets sick. He needs water if you can try to help him drink some, and if he thinks he can stomach it, there’s some crackers on the coffee table. He’s due for more meds in two hours, but you probably won’t be here for that,” she rambled off.
Eddie nodded along, mentally making a to-do list.
“You’re sure you got it? He sometimes isn’t able to talk.”
Jesus Christ, how had he never noticed this? Was he that oblivious to what Steve was going through?
“I got it.”
He could hear a car pull into the driveway and Robin opened the door to leave.
“If you need me, call me. The Harringtons will probably be as quick as possible, but just in case,” she begged him.
“Okay.”
She left and closed the door behind her quietly, leaving Eddie staring at it for a minute.
He heard a small whimper from the couch and he rushed over, looking down at Steve.
The ice pack had fallen off his face, and his eyes were scrunched closed like he was still suffering even in his sleep.
Eddie leaned over to pick up the ice pack, ready to trade it out with a fresh one, when one of Steve’s eyes opened.
He froze and looked at him, hoping he would go back to sleep quickly.
“Eds?”
Shit.
He’d started calling him Eds in the hospital, always walking into his room with a bright smile and a ‘hey, Eds’ that had Eddie cracking a small smile.
He hadn’t heard it since then.
“Yeah?” he finally responded, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible.
He knew when Wayne got headaches, he was very sensitive to noise.
“Hurts,” Steve whimpered out.
Eddie’s heart shattered in his chest.
He walked closer to the couch and knelt down on his knees, placing a hand on Steve’s forehead.
“I know, Stevie. You wanna try to have a sip of water for me?” He whispered.
“No, hurts.”
“Might help,” Eddie tried to bribe him.
But Steve’s eyes were closed again, and even though he wasn’t asleep, he was making it very clear that he couldn’t quite handle keeping them open right now.
Eddie gently ran his fingers back and forth across his forehead, down his nose, along his temples, smiling as Steve’s wrinkles seemed to disappear, his face relaxing slowly.
“Go back to sleep, Stevie,” he whispered.
“Mhm,” Steve let out before he seemed to actually fall back asleep.
—------------------------------
Eddie didn’t move from his spot for nearly 45 minutes, even when his legs went numb and his hand started cramping.
Steve hadn’t so much as snored, so Eddie didn’t want to risk any movement waking him up.
“Would you like something to drink?” Mrs. Harrington asked him, startling him slightly.
“No, thank you,” Eddie responded as quietly as possible.
“Are you the Eddie from the hospital? The one he insisted on visiting every day?” she asked as she sat down on the coffee table right next to him.
“Um, yes ma’am,” he knew he sounded nervous.
“Oh, so you boys worked it all out? He promised he’d tell me if you said yes!” she smiled at him.
“Worked…what out?”
Her eyes widened.
“Your feelings! Steve told us he was going over to your house the day you got out of the hospital and telling you how he felt,” she explained, sounding somewhat unsure now.
Eddie felt like his stomach had dropped to the floor.
“He what?”
“Oh dear,” she said, wringing her hands in her lap. “I suppose I was wrong.”
Eddie saw Mr. Harrington walk into the kitchen from his spot on the floor, felt the tension in the air as Mrs. Harrington tried to change the subject quickly.
But he wasn’t going to stop thinking about what she meant.
Steve had had feelings for him? Like, more than a friend feelings?
Steve let out a small groan in his sleep, shifting his head a bit.
Eddie tried to shush him a bit, running his fingers gently through his hair, careful not to catch on any tangles.
He could feel Mrs. Harrington watching, but she didn’t say anything else until Steve seemed to calm again.
“You know, Steve came out to us in March. Said he’d met a guy who was worth the risk. We love him, we always will, but we were very worried. I think any parent worries when their child, even their grown ones, says they’re in love with someone. In this case, we didn’t know if you felt the same, or if you even liked men. And Steve here tends to fall fast and fall hard and forgets to wear a parachute before the jump.”
Eddie didn’t say anything, his head filled with the way she’d called his feelings love.
“But I think I see now that he didn’t need one. I think he had you jumping with him and you remembered the parachute for him.”
He turned to look at her, her fond smile pointed at them both as he continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair.
She got up and went into the kitchen, leaving Eddie to think about what she said.
That’s all he did for a while.
—---------------------------------------
The next time Steve woke up, he was slightly more coherent, but still didn’t want to eat or drink.
Mrs. Harrington had gone to lay down for a nap while Mr. Harrington was finishing up something in his office. They both told him to come find them if Steve woke up and needed something.
At some point, Eddie had rested his head against Steve’s chest, listening to his heart beat loudly against his ear.
“Eddie?”
No, why Eddie again? Why not Eds?
“Hey, Stevie,” he lifted his head and spoke just above a whisper. “How about a few sips of water?”
“I can’t.”
“Sure you can. I’ll help.”
Robin had been kind enough to find a straw for the cup of water she’d gotten before she left, so Eddie just held it up close to Steve’s lips and told him to sip.
Steve did manage a few sips before he shook his head and started to turn away.
“It’s time for more meds. Wanna take them?” Eddie asked.
“Bed?”
“Um.”
“Carry me.”
Eddie let out a small laugh at the demanding tone in Steve’s voice.
Even through the pain, and exhaustion, and struggle of speaking, he sounded like a drama queen.
Eddie might love him.
“Won’t that hurt?”
“A little.”
“Then shouldn’t you stay here?”
“Wanna cuddle.”
Oh.
“Uh. With…your mom?”
“You.”
Eddie was going to pass out.
There was no way he’d be able to carry Steve up the stairs to his room and then cuddle with him, and pretend he wasn’t feeling the overwhelming urge to propose marriage.
These new feelings kicked in too fast for him to process and he knew cuddling wouldn’t help.
“Please?” Steve asked, his eyes squinting slightly from what little light was making it through the curtains.
“Okay, but don’t laugh when I get out of breath.”
Steve didn’t respond, or really do anything to acknowledge what Eddie said, but he was pretty sure Steve’s head hurt too much to laugh anyway so he took a chance.
He removed the blankets on top of him and managed to pick him up relatively easily.
The walk to the stairs wasn’t bad.
The walk up the stairs was rough for a couple reasons: One, Eddie was out of shape and Steve weighed roughly the same as him. Two, Steve kept whimpering in pain with every step.
When they finally reached his bedroom, Eddie was panting and Steve had a couple tears falling from his eyes.
“I sure hope the cuddling lives up to expectations after that,” Eddie tried to joke.
“Worth it,” Steve sighed.
He set Steve in his bed first, made sure the fan in the room was on and the curtains were shut, then got into his bed.
People dreamed for most of high school to be in this position, but Eddie hadn’t let himself picture it.
He wouldn’t have ever pictured this scenario anyway.
Steve was sweaty, almost like he was running a fever, but Eddie didn’t let that deter him from scooting closer and moving Steve into his arms.
They both fell asleep in minutes, Eddie’s fingers wrapped up in Steve’s hair.
—----------------------------------------
When Eddie woke again, it was pitch black in the room.
Steve was also awake.
“Stevie? You need something? Feeling any better?”
He didn’t answer for a minute, and Eddie considered running to get one of his parents, when he finally spoke up.
“A little. Thanks”
Eddie let out a breath and relaxed back against the pillows under him.
“You can go if you want,” Steve nearly whispered into the darkness.
Eddie tensed again as he looked over at Steve, who was playing with the blanket covering him in his hands, not looking at Eddie.
“And if I don’t want to?” Eddie asked, reaching a hand out to hold Steve’s.
“I know you hate me, so. You can go.”
Well, that just wouldn’t do.
Eddie couldn’t let him think he hated him, even though up until this morning, he thought he did.
“Stevie, lay down and look at me.”
Steve, surprisingly, listened and Eddie felt a tug at his heart that Steve was willing to listen to him that easily.
Eddie cupped Steve’s jaw, gentle in case of any lingering migraine pains.
“I don’t hate you. I think I realized that maybe I had my own feelings wrong for a long time,” he admitted.
“What?”
“The best part of my days in the hospital were when you visited. Wayne used to make fun of me when you left for being stuck in the hospital for longer because I was lovesick. And when I got home and you didn’t come visit unless you were bringing the kids by, I just kinda thought it meant things were back to normal. King Steve didn’t need to be nice anymore, his charity case was safe and mostly healed,” Eddie stopped Steve from interrupting at that, scared to lose his train of thought. “So I went back to hating you. It’s easier to hate someone when your heart’s broken, ya know? And I just assumed you were the same Steve I thought you always were. But then I realized that you never really were the Steve I thought you were. And especially now, you’re a guy who deserves kindness and care and love. I’d really like the chance to give that to you.”
He felt Steve’s face getting wet and he brushed his thumbs back and forth to wipe away the tears falling.
“I was going to tell you the day you got out of the hospital,” Steve said, voice trembling.
“Tell me what?”
“That I loved you.”
The world stopped spinning, Eddie would bet money on it.
“You did?”
“I did.” Steve gulped. “I do.”
“You do?”
“You’re a hard person to fall out of love with, Munson.”
It was Eddie’s turn to cry, a few tears falling from his eyes onto the pillowcase below.
“So…”
“So?” Steve asked.
“Is the headache better? I’d really like to kiss you,” Eddie said.
“It’s good enough for a kiss. Might even work better than the meds,” Steve’s smirk could be seen even in the darkness.
Eddie didn’t need to wait for more permission than that.
He was gentle, of course. Just because his migraine had gotten better, didn’t mean he was ready to make out.
He gave him a couple soft pecks on the lips, smiling when he felt Steve smiling against him.
“I think you’re probably pretty easy to fall in love with, Harrington.”
“Yeah?” he asked, voice rough.
“Yeah, might be a new record for me.”
“I’ve been told it’s very sexy when I’m suffering through a migraine,” Steve joked.
“You have no idea,” Eddie joked back.
They stayed in bed all night, Steve eventually falling back asleep again.
Eddie stayed awake though, memorizing the shape of Steve’s body with his fingers, or at least what he could reach while he held him.
They could talk more tomorrow, when Steve’s migraine fully subsided.
But Eddie knew what he wanted now, and he’d never been so happy to be wrong about someone.
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thisapplepielife · 2 months
Text
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Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.
Eddeth
Day #30 - Fame & Fortune | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Fake!Eddeth, Steddie | Tags: Modern AU, Stop Trying to Make Eddeth Happen, It's Not Gonna Happen, Eddie & Gareth Are Best Friends, They Are Also: Idiot², Paparazzi, Social Media, Luddite Eddie, Steve Harrington Has To Clean Up All Their Messes, But What Else Is New?
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"Did you know they're shipping us?" 
"Shipping us where? I hope they poke holes first," Eddie says, looking over at Gareth as he's scrolling on his phone. Gareth isn't listening to him, doesn't even laugh, which Eddie thinks is rude. That was a great dad joke.
He's picked up dad jokes from Steve, because Steve's corny as fuck. 
"Not like that," Gareth says, "like, shipping us together. We have a name and everything."
"Speak English," Eddie demands.
"You know, like Bennifer? But we're Eddeth," Gareth says.
"Who's Bennifer?"
"Which version?" Gareth asks, "Nevermind. You don't care. It's the ship name for Ben and Jennifer together. Do you never read the tabloids?"
"No. And I don't like that," Eddie says.
"Well, I knew you wouldn't. But now they're thinking about us. Together. Romantically. Enough that we have a mash-up of our names together."
Eddie barks out a laugh, "Well, alright. Whatever floats their boat."
Gareth sits there quietly for a bit, then says, "Maybe we can use this. Drum up some attention for the band. Get our name out there. Be a trending hashtag."
"I don't know what that means," Eddie says. 
"I know you don't. But we could, like, get in the zeitgeist."
"I hate everything you're choosing to be right now," Eddie says.
"Eddie. This could blow us up."
"Well, sure, in that case I'll tell Steve to just step aside."
"Not for real, dummy. Just for the paparazzi. Get our names talked about more. If they see more of the band, they may like the band more."
Eddie says he'll think about it, but he has no intention of doing any of that. They are exactly the right amount of famous. He can walk down the street without being harassed, but they live comfortably. He isn't about to upset that apple cart.
But it persists. There's buzz, apparently. At least according to Gareth, anyway.
So, at the next show, Eddie hops up on the drum riser and covers Bang Dem Sticks, while flirting with Gareth. It is possible to flirt platonically, and he does it very well. 
The next day, Gareth shows him all the chatter. The tiktoks. The commentary. And, well, maybe they could use this to their advantage. Just for a minute.
So, they walk down a dozen different sidewalks, and no paparazzi cameras pop out to snap pictures. Which is normal. He isn't sure why Gareth suddenly thought they'd make TMZ. 
But Gareth persists, and they even go to the Ivy, and still nothing. 
Even LAX is a fucking bust. 
That night, Eddie crawls into bed next to Steve, and sighs.
"What's the matter with you?" Steve asks, tipping down his iPad to look at Eddie.
"Nobody will take my picture with Gareth."
Steve laughs, "What the hell are you talking about?"
So, Eddie tells him their grand plan, and Steve is laughing his fucking ass off before Eddie can even finish. 
"Eddie. You have to call the paps if you want to do a pap walk. They aren't mind-readers. They don't just show up. Do you think all those pictures of celebs you see are actually candid? They definitely aren't."
Well, Eddie never looks at pap pictures. He has no fucking clue. He likes to fly under the radar.
"Really?" Eddie eventually asks. 
"Really. Do you want me to organize a pap walk for you?" Steve asks, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Well. Kinda," he says, "we're Eddeth."
"I know, honey. I've seen all the videos of you flirting with him on stage."
Eddie laughs, "You know that's not real, right?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm not new here," Steve says, "I'll call it in tomorrow. You can be photographed to your heart's content."
And they are. As if it were magic, a handful of photogs are suddenly very aware of where they'll be on various outings. Eddie holds the door for Gareth. Hugs him on the street corner. They get an inordinate amount of coffees that Eddie doesn't even like.
The pictures run, and not a lot of people care, but they are being discussed in some circles. 
So, they keep doing it. Dinners and movies and trips through the airport where they're not really going anywhere. Only going through security, as if they were.
That's a brand new kind of torture. Who goes through TSA when they don't actually have to? 
More coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Eddie's never bought this many drinks in his life. 
And then the bottom falls out. 
Someone makes a video that goes extremely viral, explaining everyone in their Corroded Coffin circle. 
Including Steve. 
In fact, it's almost mourning the breakup of them. Steddie. They're Steddie, apparently, and now the fans, the real fans, those that actually have followed them, are upset. Pointing fingers, assigning blame. Some to Eddie, some to Gareth.
Fuck.
"Uh, we've got a problem," Eddie tells Steve, and Steve just shakes his head, already aware of the situation.
"Do we have to do a pap walk now?" Eddie asks, worrying his hands together. 
He never did anything romantic with Gareth. It can all be explained away, swept under the rug. 
He thinks.
He hopes.
"I really don't want to," Steve says, and that's that. They won't.
Now, Eddie's either a cheater in the eyes of their actual fans, or they think Steve's gone. 
Instead, Gareth does a couple pap walks with his girlfriend, and she's branded a beard, immediately. They really fucked this up, big time. 
"We'll go to dinner. The four of us," Steve says, "I'll call it in."
And Eddie kisses his cheek, over and over.
Just to be safe, Steve has their publicist send TMZ a copy of their marriage certificate, and some boilerplate that Eddie and Gareth are just best friends, and always have been.
As they settle into the booth at the restaurant, pictures still being taken, Steve asks, "Are we done trying to be tabloid fodder? Have we learned our lesson?"
"Yes, Steve," Eddie and Gareth both say in unison.
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If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇
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mykoreanlove · 7 months
Note
Hi gorgeous 💞
I have been binge reading your stories, loved it so much 💖
I hope it's not too much to ask but my birthday is on 14th March so I was wondering if you could write hyunjin (my bias) x f reader (me) x Bang chan (my bias wrecker) smut ff? Both of them dom and they give the reader a birthday gift (surprise me with your writing).
I would really appreciate it 🥺
Bye 👋
Hi cutie - thank you so much for reading and supporting <3 I always get the most hate when I write about Hyunjin, so it's nice to see that you're enjoying my stories.
I wish you a happy birthday, hopefully you get celebrated the way you deserve to be! :)
I'm currently sick in bed but wanted to write something spicy for you, let me know if you liked it.
All the best <3
************************************************************************
A birthday to remember
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Hyunjin had frowned three years in a row as he had watched you unravel your birthday presents in an unimpressed manner.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never get it right. Sure, you were grateful about all the things he got you, but he knew you well enough to understand that you were smiling out of politeness, rather than pure and utter joy. 
Your boyfriend knew you like the back of his hands; he was more than acquainted with the way you threw your head back and tried to hide the little creases that formed next to your eyes when you were laughing wholeheartedly. He was familiar with how your eyes shined brightly or how your whole body vibrated with energy when you were deeply happy.
Unfortunately, his birthday presents had never gotten that reaction out of you.
This time however, he vowed to find the right gift for you. The perfect present that would sweep you off your feet.
That was his plan at least.
It was a late night at the company office and Hyunjin was dancing with his band mates, practicing for the upcoming tour. He messed up a lot of steps as his mind was too occupied with you. In his bag was a very expensive piece of jewelry, one that he had handcrafted himself, but he was still bothered by the thought of you not liking it. 
He took a glance at the clock on the wall - it was nearly midnight which meant it was your birthday in a couple of minutes. 
„Guys, let’s stop for tonight.“
Chan shut off the music and replied to some mails on his laptop while the others got up and left.
„Oh hey, y/n.“, Felix greeted cheerily on his way out.
Hyunjin shot up panicked, looking at you frantically.
„Babe, what are you doing here?“ 
You entered the practice room and shut the door behind you, laughing shyly. 
„Always happy to see you, too, my lovely boyfriend.“ 
You stuck out your tongue and walked towards him, hugging him tightly.
„Babe, I’m all sweaty. And besides, didn’t we agree to spend your birthday starting tomorrow morning? I had it all planned out…“, he whined.
You chuckled as you kissed his adorable pout, reassuring him.
„I couldn’t stand away from you, Jinnie. Are you mad?“
„Of course not, baby.“, he mumbled while kissing you. 
Your make-out session got interrupted by Chan who was clearing his throat.
„Y/N, hi. Always great to see you. Listen, Hyunjin promised to help me out with my workout since Changbin had already left. Can I borrow him for a second?“
You shrugged your shoulders and took a seat on the couch.
„Be my guest, Chan.“ 
Chan got on his back and started working on his abs while Hyunjin was monitoring his movements.
You were so entranced by watching them, Chan in particular. You always had a soft spot for him - sometimes even fantasizing about being fucked by him. You were in love with Hyunjin, oh you absolutely were, but sometimes you couldn’t help but lust after Chan’s broad shoulders and fantasize about licking his abs.
Sweat was building on his temples as he was working hard. 
Suddenly, you felt hot, licking your lips, and imagining what it would be like to be trapped underneath him with his sweat dropping on to you. Your gaze switched to your boyfriend who was holding him in place firmly and suddenly you imagined being trapped between both of them, held in place by one while the other was fucking you into oblivion.
You squeezed your legs, totally unaware of the fact that Hyunjin was watching you through the mirror.
He on the other hand smirked smugly, suddenly realizing what would make the perfect birthday present for you.
„Hyung, can you do the rest by yourself? There’s something I have to do.“, Hyunjin whispered. 
„Eh? Oh sure, go ahead.“ 
Hyunjin got up and walked over to you, grabbing you by your wrist and ushering you out of the room. 
„Where are we going?“
„Shut up and follow me.“, he hissed at you.
The heat in your body started to rise, spreading through every cell of your being.
Hyunjin was the most romantic and caring man you had ever dated unless it came to sex - he was an absolute asshole when it came to sex.
And you loved it. 
He was degrading, he was mean, he was everything that would make you cry under normal circumstances but being treated like that while he had his dick shoved into you?
Priceless.
He pushed you into the shower room, closing the door behind him. You stood still and waited for his command, automatically falling into the role of the submissive one.
He walked over to the other side of the room and leaned against the cold sink while watching you. 
„Take it all off.“, he said sternly. 
You started undressing, silently slipping out of the flower dress you were wearing. You stood before him in nothing but red lingerie. 
„I said take it all off.“, he hissed annoyed. 
Your fingers went behind your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it in the next corner while looking at him obediently. 
Hyunjin watched you with eyes that were filled with darkness and desire, while you were slipping your fingers into your lacy panties, sliding them off. 
He uncrossed his arms and propped himself on the sink, taking you all in. Even though it was your birthday he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. 
„Come here.“, he commanded. 
You made your way over to him, excited about what was to come. 
„Get on your knees.“
You did as he said and kneeled before him, suddenly painfully aware of the cold surroundings. Instinctively, you fumbled with his pants, but he slapped away your hand.
„Did I say you could?“
You shook your head in shame. Hyunjin grabbed your chin forcefully and tilted your head, looking into your eyes strongly.
„Listen, brat. Did I say you could?“ 
„No...No…“, you stuttered.
„No what?“
„No, Mr. Hwang.“, you replied hastily. 
Hyunjin let go of you, slightly content as he watched you cowering in front of him.
„Now, tell me what you want.“
„I want you.“, you whispered silently.
Hyunjin walked behind you and tied your silky hair into a ponytail while repeating his question.
„Couldn’t hear you.“, he whispered into your ear.
„I want you.“, you said proudly.
He yanked your hair back, pulling at your ponytail.
„I want you what?“
„I want you, Mr. Hwang. I want you, Mr. Hwang, sir.“, you explained hastily. 
He let go of you as he cooed into your ear.
„Good girl.“
He had not even started yet, and you felt yourself leaking already. 
Hyunjin went back to the sink and positioned himself in front of you. He pulled down his pants, giving away his enormous erection. 
You gasped at the sight - he still had the same effect on you. 
„Tell me what you want to do to me. Now.“, he commanded sternly. 
You gulped, trying to hold yourself back.
„Touch you. Kiss your cock. Lick it. Suck on it. Make you cum. On me. In me. Swallow it all. I really want to, Mr. Hwang.“
You looked up at him shyly, waiting for his sign to proceed. However, you didn’t notice his green light as you were admiring his ethereal beauty. God, he was beyond beautiful. Your hands wandered to his shaft greedily, tracing along the veins of his cock. Silver pre-cum was glistening on his tip, getting all your attention. You felt his hand slap your cheek as you were about to suck him off. 
You shot back, touching the reddened, tingling area. 
„Did I say you could?“
You shook your head hastily. 
„No. No, you didn’t. I am sorry, Mr. Hwang.“
He smirked devilishly.
„Oh, you will be, baby. You will be.“
You approached him again, placing your hands flat on his thighs.
„May I suck you off, Mr. Hwang?“
You could have sworn his dick got harder hearing you talk like that. His eyes were piercing through you by now.
„You really want to, huh?“
„Yes, Mr. Hwang. Please let me be good for you.“, you begged silently.
„Fine. Be a good girl then.“
Your eyes sparkled at his approval while your lips got to work immediately.
You moaned the sweetest moans while you swallowed him all, he was as tasty as he was gorgeous. Hyunjin knew that he could use you as he pleased, so he did just that.
„Let me fuck your throat, baby.“
He pushed himself into you, harder and faster, which made you whimper and nearly choke on his dick. You were looking at him with tears in your eyes, loving every second of it.
He was breathing heavily while fucking your mouth, the vein on his forehead already popping out. 
„That’s right, baby. Take me like the dirty slut you are. Take all of me.“
It didn’t take long for you to feel the warmth in your throat, tasting his savory cum on your tongue. 
You closed your eyes in enjoyment. You felt your best when he used you like that; when you were of service like that.
Hyunjin patted your head, loving you with all his heart exactly for all that you were.
Naughty and nice.
However, he wasn’t done just yet.
Chan was about to enter the shower room any minute, his workout had to be done by now. And once he entered? He would be greeted with the most perfect ass kneeling on the floor, sucking on his friend’s dick. Who could resist that?
Hyunjin smiled to himself, being utterly proud of his genius plan which would make him boyfriend of the century.
You opened your eyes again as you noticed the door behind you open. Panic flooded your system; you were kneeling butt-naked on the floor with Hyunjin’s dick in your mouth. Would you get in trouble?
“Didn’t expect to see that”, you heard Chan proclaim as he entered the shower room.
You looked up at Hyunjin with panic in your eyes, but he remained calm about it. Smug even. You tried to make sense of the situation, but he reassured you that everything was okay.
“Just enjoy it, baby”, he winked at you.
“Get up”, you heard Chan command.
You glanced one last time at Hyunjin who nodded his head, transferring control over to his hyung.
Shakily, you got on your feet and waited.
“Now turn around.”
Chan’s breath got stuck in his throat as he saw you in your rawest form. He had always thought that you were absolutely beautiful, breath-taking even but every time a thought like that entered his mind, he shut it out. He would never cross boundaries like that but on rare occasions he jerked off to the sound of you being fucked by his friend in the next room.
Chan knew that you thought about him in that way, too, as he had often caught you glaring at him while he was changing clothes or working out. He would have never assumed though that Hyunjin would share you; at least not like that.
“I heard it’s your birthday, y/n?”
You shook your head eagerly.
Chan approached you and whispered into your ear seductively.
“Tell me, baby girl, what do you want then?”
Your head was about to explode – was this really happening? His long fingers traced the soft skin on your collarbones, making his way down to your breasts. Chan circled around your nipples softly but squeezed them forcefully after as you had not replied quickly enough.
“I said what do you want, baby girl?”
“Fuck me.”, you whispered silently.
“Hmm? A bit louder, baby girl.”
“Fuck me!, you boldly proclaimed.
A warm chuckle escaped his lips, making his chest tremble in amusement. He was circling around you, eyeing you like prey.
“I see. Well, how do you want me to pleasure you then?”
He stopped right in front of you and lowered himself to get a good look at your face. Chan was observing every reaction as he asked his next questions.
“Do you want me to eat you out? Do you want me to hit it from the back? Do you want to sit on my face? Do you want to be fucked against the wall? Should I turn on the shower and make you really wet? How do you want it, baby girl?”
Hyunjin was watching with his back to the wall, holding his breath due to the immense suspense. Would you really do this?
You tilted your head up and looked into his eyes daringly.
“I want you to fuck me while I’m bent against the sink…”, you paused for a second. “While Hyunjin is watching us.”
A small gasp escaped his lips; you really wanted this.
Chan smirked and turned to Hyunjin. “Is he okay with this, though?”
You turned around slowly and looked at him beggingly.
“Is this alright, Mr. Hwang?”
God, he would let you do anything if you called him that. Hyunjin nodded, not saying a word.
Chan clapped his hands eagerly. “Let’s go then.”
He walked you over to the sink and stood behind you, admiring your backside once more.
“Mr. Hwang is a very lucky man, baby girl.”
Chan started kissing your neck and went down further, leaving wet kisses all over your body. He started out softly but got more aggressive as he continued, leaving all of you in dark marks.
Neck, shoulders, lower back, ass cheeks, thighs and even shins were marked as his.
You whimpered as his lips touched you – the slow anticipation was killing you.
“What’s that whimper, baby girl? Are you that needy?”
You nodded your head and prepped yourself on the sink; you needed him now.
With a swift motion he glided into you, making you gasp for air. Chan was big, stretching you out in ways you had never been stretched out before.
He thrusted himself into you forcefully and you couldn’t help but moan. Sounds of his hips hitting against your ass filled the room as well. The mirror above the sink was fogged, just as your mind was.
It was all too much.
The hotness in your core. The coldness of the sink. Hyunjin’s curious eyes that were watching. All your fantasies were coming true, and you had no idea how to process this.
Chan didn’t go easy on you.
The first orgasm hit you like a truck; it left you a whimpering mess.
The second orgasm shook you to your core; by now every person in the building must have heard you being deliciously fucked.
The third orgasm however took you out for good; your legs gave in, shaking uncontrollably now.
Chan held you strongly in his embrace, praising you for taking him so well.
His slender fingers collected his cum that was dripping out of you, running down your thighs. He looked at his fingers greedily and turned to Hyunjin, staring at him daringly as he was sucking his fingers. Your boyfriend was too shocked to speak though, simply watching his friend eliminating the evidence of his girl being fucked by another.
Chan turned around and kissed your neck, praising you all the way.
“What a good girl you are, y/n. I’m proud of you, baby girl. You’ll be thinking of this birthday forever, huh?”
You were too exhausted to think, less even speak and drifted off to sleep.
When you awoke you found yourself on the floor of the shower room, lovingly embraced in your boyfriend’s arms. He was gazing at you affectionately, wiping away the sweat on your forehead.
“Hi, baby”, he whispered as you finally woke up.
It took you a moment to realize that the memories of the past hour were indeed real and not some fantasies that you had made up.
“Jinnie, what was that?”, you smiled warmly.
He chuckled amused.
“Your birthday present, baby. Did you finally like it?”
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blueicequeen19 · 2 years
Text
Wicked Step Brother Pt. 2
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Warnings: Non-Con, drugging, drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex, recording, anal, stepcest, cheating
Part One
You got home that night to find Ward and your mother gone for the weekend and a party in full swing. It was typical Rafe Camerson behavior. He couldn’t be trusted no matter what. No wonder he was always in trouble with his dad.
There were cars and party goers everywhere. Drugs and booze scattered across every surface of the mansion. You should've left the moment you couldn't pull into the driveway but you didn't. Curiosity got the best of you.
You told yourself you wanted to see if your boyfriend had brought someone when really, you wanted to see if Rafe was with someone. You shouldn't care about what your step brother does but you do. You don't spot him until it's too late. Not until he'd already advancing on you from across the patio.
You turn and run back inside, making a beeline to the front door with Rafe hot on your heels. The door knob meets your hand just as a strong arm wraps around your waist, hauling you back.
"Where are you going, lil sis? Don't want to play?" Rafe growls in your ear, his bare chest burns against your skin and his cock hard against your ass through his thin swim trunks. You feel your panties grow wet just from him being near you.
"Let go of me." You snarl, tearing at the arm banded around your middle.
"Don't cause a scene and I won't." Rafe warns before releasing you. You step away and face him, your eyes lingering on some of the nearby party goers but they don't even spare you a glimpse. Everyone was too high or drunk to notice the tension between you and your step brother and somehow that was worse. You were on your own.
"Where were you going in such a hurry?" Rafe's voice draws your attention back to him and you take a careful step back, glancing at the blue mixed drink in his hand.
"I'm not staying here tonight." You snap. His face hardens as he matches your steps.
"You are."
"Or what?"
Rafe leans in dangerously close and your heart threatens to burst in your chest.
"Or I'll tell your boyfriend you're a squirter." Rafe's low, husky voice meets your ears and you bite back a whimper, your clit pulsing. The only reason Rafe knew you were a squirter was because he liked to finger fuck you until you cried and begged him to stop. It was his new favorite thing once he realized your boyfriend had never achieved it. Rafe was a sadistic fuck like that. You look at his drink again, debating knocking it from his hand when he offers it to you with a wicked grin.
"Here, this will help mellow you out." You glare daggers up at him. He could force you to stay but you didn't have to follow his every command.
"No."
Rafe's nostrils flare, his eyes flashing with anger before he firmly grabs your arm, yanking you against him. Some people thought that the drugs and drinking mellowed Rafe out but you knew better. It only released the beast he was so careful to keep locked away until it was directed at you.
"Drink it or I'll force you down on your knees in front of everyone and pour it down your throat. Then you'll lick up the mess you made before I stuff my cock down your throat." Rafe's growl shakes you to your core, fear of humiliation being the only thing that guides you when you finally take the mixed drink.
"I hate you." You sniffle, bringing the drink to your nose and trying to detect what liquor was in it.
"Tell your pussy that." Rafe winks. You ignore him as you bring the drink to your lips and taste the bite of something fruity mixed with tequila. Your belly pooled with heat immediately and you were alarmed at how good it actually tasted. You took another drink before realizing that your body was starting to relax and your anxiety had dissolved. All the background noise in your head had gone silent. Your heartbeat had slowed and you seemed able to breathe a little better. Your eyes widen as you realize what has happened. He drugged you.
"Good, isn't it?" Rafe smirks, taking the drink from you before you can throw it in his face.
"You son of a bitch." You pant but there's no anger, just calm. You could almost cry. You wanted to be mad and lash out but you couldn't. You felt too good. Really fucking good. Your skin was buzzing, your pussy throbbing, and your nipples painfully hard. Rafe's knowing smirk only grows as he leads you from the room and up the stairs.
"Rafe." You try to pry his hand off but you can't. Your skin was electrified where he touched you. It felt so good that you suddenly wanted him to touch you everywhere.
"We're almost there." Rafe says, hauling you up another set of stairs to his bedroom. Your pussy throbbed so rapidly between your legs that your knees threatened to buckle. You needed relief. You were dying.
You must've stopped walking because Rafe suddenly scoops you up into his arms and your arms immediately go around his neck. Your hands start to move on their own, fingers dancing along his neck and chest and his back. You feel goosebumps arise on his skin but you can't stop. His skin was so soft and his muscles so hard. Rafe really was a beautiful monster.
“I bet you’re feeling really good right about now.” Rafe whispers in your ear as he carries you.
Your back meets a bed and you're suddenly too hot. The soft comforter felt so good against your skin, relaxing even. You moan, quickly unbuttoning your uniform blouse and yanking it off. That felt better. You don’t know where Rafe went but you don’t care. You just needed a release. The pulsing in your clit was too much so you widen your legs and reach under your skirt, letting your fingers find your soaked panties. You moan again, rolling your hips to meet your hand as you start to massage your clit.
You were so wet that your panties were stuck to you and your thighs were slick. You couldn’t stop as you all but ripped your panties to the side and plunged two fingers inside yourself. The moan that left you would make a pornstar blush but you couldn’t help it. You were so hot and needy. You wanted to be fucked and you didn’t care who gave it to you.
Suddenly your hand is yanked free and a naked body is on top of yours. Your eyes pop open to stare at Rafe. You don’t get to complain because he kisses you hard, grinding his cock against your pussy. Your nails dig into his back as you kiss him back, lifting your hips to meet every thrust.
“Rafe.” You beg against his lips, feeling shove your skirt up your waist then squeezing your breasts.
“What do you want, baby?” Rafe taunts against your lips, his fingers tweaking your nipples. Every touch had your body electrified and jerking against him.
“Rafe, please.” You cry, reaching between your bodies but he rears his hips back just as you grasp his cock.
“Beg me. Beg me to fuck your tight little pussy and make you feel better.” He growls in your ear, his hand moving to cup your pussy. You buck against his hand, desperate tears in your eyes.
“Please, fuck me, Rafe. Please.” He smiles before kissing you hard, his cock finding your slit and he starts to nudge your clit. You moaned loudly, aching to have him inside you. Rafe pulls back long enough to tear your panties clean off then he’s flipping you over on your hands and knees, pulling your ass back as he lines himself up with your entrance.
“Smile pretty.” Huh? His words throw you off for a split second before he brutally slams inside your soaked pussy. You all but scream in relief, your face dropping down to the comforter as he starts to snap his hips against your ass. The headboard starts to slap the wall and his grip on your hips stings but you’re too far gone to care. It’s like you’re not in your body anymore, all logic goes out the window as nothing becomes more important than your release.
“Yes, yes, please, yes.” You chant, your face pushed further into the blankets when he wretches your arms behind your back.
“Such a greedy little whore.” Rafe shoves you down flat on the bed, forcing your legs together as he straddles you. You scream into the blankets, fisting them until your nails threaten to tear through as he delivers thrust after brutal thrust.
His thumb suddenly presses inside your virgin puckered hole and your body tenses up, your toes curling as your orgasm violently hits you. It steals your ability to breathe as it wrecks you from the inside out. The drugs only heightened the affects and your vision goes black for what feels like minutes. Rafe curses, your pussy no doubt clamping down painfully around his cock. It takes you a moment to return to your body and you become painfully aware that Rafe is fucking both your holes with his thumb and his cock. It feels foreign and dirty but before you can tell him to stop, he cups your throat with his free hand, cutting off any words you might’ve had and throwing you into another otherworldly orgasm.
“You like that? You like having both your holes fucked by me?” Rafe growls, releasing his hold on your throat and you cough, burying your face in the bed.
“Rafe, please, I can’t take it.” You cry, overstimulation bringing tears to your eyes but you swear you could cum again.
“You can and you will. We’re not leaving this room until I’m done with you.” Rafe slips out for a moment, offering you a tiny bit of relief but also a painful emptiness. Your eyes widen alarmingly when cold liquid drips between your cheeks. You start to roll over but he’s quickly there, straddling you again with a firm hand in the center of your back.
“Rafe!” You shout, your protests falling on deaf ears. The tip of his cock suddenly penetrates your ass, causing a terrible burning feeling. You push back until his breath hits your ear, his hand around your throat as he slides in further.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay. You can take it. You can take all of me, just like I’m going to take all of you. Rub your clit, I promise you’ll like this.” He nibbles your earlobe, making you shudder while you quickly dive your hand between your legs. Your fingers craze your clit and you tense up, a whimper falling from your lips as you feel split in two.
“Relax, sis, I’m not even half way.” You feel his hands spread your ass cheeks then you hear him spit. You’re humiliated and grossed out but you can’t protest when he starts to rock back and forth, your fingers still stroking your clit. The pleasure almost blinds you. It’s intense and painful but the building euphoria only eggs you on. You wanted more so you start moving your hips with him.
“That’s my girl. I’m going to fill this ass up with my cum. You’re not going to be able to walk or sit down for a fucking week.” Rafe’s feral growl meets your ears and when he bites your shoulder, you’re done for. The orgasm is more powerful than anything you’ve ever felt, tears flow freely as he fucks you harder and harder to his own release.
Finally, when you’re on the verge of passing out, Rafe slows to a stop and slips from inside you. You whimper, unable to move or open your eyes. You feel him get off the bed then you hear the sound of running water in his bathroom then he’s back, gently cleaning you up. You turn your head, your eyes barely open when you see what he’s holding in his other hand.
“The fuck are you doing?” You growl, quickly rolling over and yanking the blanket over your sore naked body. Rafe smiles, his phone still aimed at you like he’s recording.
“Owning your ass in more ways than one. I told you to smile pretty. Say hi!”
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Text
don't hold hands, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: You're fucking your ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend. You also now own a condo with him and owning this condo has made you house-poor. Yeah, it's not the usual love story and it's not going to be one. Not until you paint the walls black, that is.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mostly conversations and feels tbh; minor smut (fem reader, marking / scratching, m-receiving oral, doggy, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU; guitarist!music producer!Yoongi x novelist!reader - fwb / roommates-to-lovers
just a story about two people who shouldn't fall in love falling in love, I have plenty of nasty smut so this is a different beat for ya lmao
--
“Is it fun being tortured?”
“Not really, no.”
It wasn’t fair to be this critical but, as long as you didn’t let these words travel outside this room, it was fine, right? At least, you kept telling yourself that. Delusion at its finest.
“It’s so stupid that people enjoy sticking their nose in drama that doesn’t involve them only because their lives are too boring to have any,” you sighed, tossing your phone across your desk, letting it skid into a pile of post-its covered in scrawled notes. “All because I deleted some photos.”
Notifications were now blocked.
“Some people mistake privilege with right.”
You glared at your phone even though the contents were the offender and not the device. Rolled your eyes, knowing you would be coming back to a shitstorm, but you couldn’t take it anymore. There had to be a limit. And the voice beside you had been telling you to put the damn thing down and stop deleting comments one by one, but the stubborn ram in you thought you could just headbutt through the bullshit.
And that imagery was gonna end there, thank you very much.
Your forehead found the palm of your hand and you sighed again, suddenly feeling the weight.
“I’m never doing that again.”
“You don’t have to.”
Minutes passed.
Silence never felt so serene.
Then it was cut through by steady, slow acoustic guitar, the notes drifting out from behind you. It almost made you feel more guilty. Almost. How fucked was that? You, sitting here right now, staring at nearly bare walls and a table covered in notes and your trusty laptop, almost feeling guilty for the guy that had backed out of the joint loan for this condo in the city that you didn’t even fuckin’ want, but you had been too far into the process to not lose a whole lotta money and too angry to let yourself lose.
How ironic, feeling guilty for the guy who cheated on you.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” was the guitar player’s response. “And you shouldn’t be either. For anything.”
You knew you shouldn’t apologize. It just felt like the thing to do, because you hadn’t been wholly right either and, even if you weren’t more in the wrong, you were still wrong, and wasn’t that fucked, putting levels of blame on a situation that, at the end of the day, was all said and done and left everybody bitter and full of scars.
The shitty part was everyone was on your case now and blaming you.
This was what you got for dating the lead singer of a punk band that skyrocketed to popularity on social media. Looked all elegant dark romance on TikTok and Instagram, just screaming and hate-fucking behind closed doors. Constant content to cover up the toxicity. And maybe it was your fault too, letting it get to your head that maybe you really were the beautiful, mysterious muse that the followers painted you out to be. You glossed over red flags – late nights, drugs and drinking, sleeping in rooms of girls that called themselves fans – all part of the industry. Nothing happened. Honest. But the greatest mistake was letting him tag you on Instagram. How cool was it that you were an author?
This bastard.
Not only had you given him some of your best quotes for his lyrics, but now you couldn’t publish those words as your own because this bastard would fuckin’ sue you for plagiarizing.
The guitar continued behind you, on the mattress on the floor.
So, not only were you getting crucified on social media at the moment because he had called you a backhanded bitch in his Instagram stories but also because you had deleted all photos of him on your profile and said fucking nothing. Silence to be polite and all that. He cheated on you, he was leaving you for some whore you had plenty of suspicions about, and, worst of all, he waited until you and him were finalizing the down payment for this expensive-ass-fuck high-rise condo – that money was out of your own pocket, not his, how convenient – and backed out of the loan for the mortgage. His reasoning?
You cheated on him first.
Hello?
With his former guitarist.
Hello?
Your ex-boyfriend had fired his former guitarist ages ago because you and him had gotten too friendly.
Alright, man.
You liked the guy, sure. Talked to him when he was in the studio and found you had a lot in common. Plus, he was crazy talented. Made most of the melodies, self-produced a lot of the songs for the band so they could save money, even contributed to lyric writing so they didn’t have to spend on that either. He even had a good voice, although sadly the band rarely used it. Your art of words paired with his knowledge of music made some viral hits. But then tensions rose between him and your ex when they started butting heads for no reason (there was a reason and it was ugly jealousy). Then arguments rose between you and your ex, but instead of breaking up, you buried yourself into writing your next novel to let the situation cool off.
Sigh, okay, call a spade a spade.
You were avoiding the confrontation.
He fired his guitarist and got a new one.
Then things were good.
Until they weren’t.
Of course, they weren’t. You didn’t solve shit, and he was fucking every girl that threw themselves at him behind your back. Good thing you had strict rules about condoms, otherwise you would probably have some lasting consequences right now. So, when the ground cracked and split apart from under you, what did you do?
Yup, this was the part that made you no better.
You found that former guitarist and fucked him.
Word travelled around. Word also travelled around that somehow you got someone to be part of that insane loan you got talked into. And, oh, shit, did things get messy once a certain someone knew who it was.
But here you were.
Feeling guilty.
You probably couldn’t publish for at least six months to a year because, harrowingly, your demographic was young adult – you had even relied on social media for self-marketing, fuck – and the half of a novel you had now had to be scrapped considering that so many of the quotes were now distressed in dark venues by the lips of an egomaniacal dick that you allowed into your pussy far too many times. Once was already too many.
Fuck.
You didn’t even want to live in the city.
It’ll be so much easier for me to get bigger opportunities. Don’t be a selfish bitch and only think about yourself.
You wanted to scream.
You wanted to throw your laptop into the wall and break it into smithereens, but you didn’t because this piece of technology was currently your only chance of making money. Fuck. Me. Always talking about himself like he was only important member of the band, even though it was the other guys who wrote most of the music and lyrics. No one sided with you, obviously. This was their job and technically not their romance. They were sympathetic but not empathetic to the point of jeopardizing their jobs. Obviously, you hadn’t signed any contracts for royalties or credit. This was supposed to be your soulmate.
Soulmates weren’t so generous to give you pennies.
You’re being greedy and self-important. Oh, so you’re only in the relationship for the money? I’ll give you money once we make it big. Once we get it all, I’ll buy you everything you want. But you gotta help me out now. We’re starving artists, ya know?
You should have asked your parents for monetary help, but you didn’t. Your pride didn’t want to hear the told-you-so speeches for dating a guy they didn’t choose for you. You also didn’t want the arranged marriage appointments back in your life either.
So.
Trapped in white walls, post-its of false starts, and impending doom.
Dramatic, but you were a writer.
“Come here and sit down with me.”
Some part of you didn’t want to face him. It was really dumb. He was your new roommate now. You were fucking him when you were too sad to avoid it, and it was pretty obvious he knew. You were living off his money. Sure, he only paid for half the rent but then food mysteriously appeared in the fridge, bathroom necessities were stocked when they were running low, cleaning supplies neatly sorted into the closet, and all that other shit. None of that wholesale stuff either, but the nicer things normal households could afford.
It wasn’t an exaggeration that you cried into the soap during your shower last night.
All because you finally acknowledged it wasn’t one of those shitty bars that made skin feel like plastic but actually fragrant lathering liquid that you could put on the dense, not-falling-apart-in-one-use loofah that you hadn’t bought. You would have been satisfied with cutting coupons and living on the dregs of the bare minimum, but someone cared enough to not let you do that, and you currently couldn’t do anything to contribute and probably couldn’t for a while.
And that made you feel undeserving.
Maybe you were only fucking him because that was all you could offer.
Pathetic.
The guitarist called your name softly.
Like a beaten dog, you got up and sat down beside Min Yoongi.
He continued to play a melody you didn’t know on his black acoustic guitar. He hadn’t moved in all his instruments and equipment yet. You had told him he could have the whole living room for his studio. He had asked if you were sure and you responded that you were sure that you weren’t going to have anybody over ever so, unless he wanted a living room space, you didn’t want one.
“Shit always happens, you know,” the deep voice reminded you.
“This happening was of my own doing and now I’ve ruined my own life,” you muttered, bitter over a boy and hating that you were bitter over a boy.
A small chuckle. “You have to admit you had help.”
Stupid boy.
“Can’t be helped. Humans are animals of regret.”
It stung to regret.
The guitar playing stopped and now you were met with silence.
Don’t cry.
But it was so tiring to be angry. So easy to be sad. So easy to think, my fault, for being swept up in what he was but not who he was, for believing that you knew what was best when clearly it wasn’t, for being spiteful on purpose. For avoiding looking at Yoongi in the face because you were too ashamed to acknowledge what was going on here.
For being too afraid to ask what he thought of it.
“I regretted not stealing you from him sooner. Thought you were too fuckable for that loser from the first day we met.”
A strange feeling.
Skin prickling, glancing the that pale hand of graceful, callused fingers simply resting on the neck of that guitar, not looking at Yoongi’s face even though you knew it quite well in profile.
“That’s one way to make me feel better,” you replied.
“I’m not trying to make you feel better. Just being honest,” he replied, tapping his fingertips on the wood. “You are ten times too talented and a hundred times too pretty for a guy like that.”
You twitched. “Are you shitting on my standards?”
“Back then? Yeah, I am.” A calm hum, setting aside his guitar and placing his elbows on his sweatpants-covered knees, charcoal gray and worn. “Pretty clear you went full desperado for a guy that didn’t deserve it. Also, he ain’t hot shit like he thinks he is.”
Ow and what the fuck. “Fuck off.”
You felt movement and tracked his hand raising, spinning a finger around his temple. A brief glance and the details sank in. Long, windswept black waves, light cream skin, pointed gaze directed forward and not at you, pensive slight frown of pink lips. You looked away again, past his loose white t-shirt and to your hands.
You used to be proud of them.
They used to be able to type prose like no other.
Now they were twisted in an oversized, olive-green sweatshirt that you picked up from the sale bin of the convenience store for dirt cheap and they didn’t write jack shit.
You also hated olive-green.
Nothing personal. It just wasn’t your color.
“You’re a psycho bitch to put up with him,” Yoongi commented.
He wasn’t wrong. “I’m a psycho bitch all the time.”
“Yeah, and I don’t date crazy.”
You thought you would feel insulted, but you were past the point of caring. Also, there was something about the way his calm voice said it. Like he knew what he was doing. Huh. That was a silly thing to think. Of course, Yoongi knew what he was doing. He did it. He let you in his studio when you tracked it down and camped out until he showed up. He had listened to your psychobabble and didn’t back away when you pinned him to the wall.
This wasn’t dating.
“At least, I thought I didn’t,” Yoongi added, not touching you.
He fucked you too. He wasn’t a starfish in bed, that was for sure.
“I wanted to get back at him too, you know,” that deep, hazy voice murmured beside you. “That bastard turned my friends against me, stole my mixes, and cut out all my connections. Made me start from the ground up, alone.”
Yeah, you did know that. You helped badmouth Yoongi. In the name of love.
Shit.
“Sorry.”
“You’re not sorry.”
Ouch.
“And you shouldn’t be, ‘cause what’s done is done and being sorry isn’t going to change anything.”
You untwisted your hands from each other, realizing your knuckles were white from anxiousness, and relaxed them on your bare knees. Best you could, anyway.
“Yeah,” was the best response you had. This fucking boy ruined your life and stole your eloquence too, apparently. Motherfucker. “You’re right.”
Neither you or Yoongi said anything.
Minutes passed.
Another night in the condo and both of you were sitting on a mattress with a single blanket, deflated pillows, and a box of condoms on the floor.
You touched his forearm the same time his hand moved to grip your thigh.
And then it was the don’t-look-him-in-the-eyes challenge, and he was doing the exact same thing, eyes averted, black hair over them, lips grazing your jaw. Breath against your ear. Hot. His neck under your lips, flexed, fair skin with remnants of bruises, and your teeth sank in, making new ones, listening to his hiss and feeling his hands slide under your sweatshirt. Weighted palms and blunt nails. Digging in.
“Harder.”
He scratched you up as you climbed into his lap, tasting flesh.
Those firm hands gripped your hips and forced them down. Grinding. Softness to growing hardness, unhooking your bra, hands all over like you had lost your mind, your thighs squeezing his sides, yanking his shirt collar down and licking up his collarbone, dripping spit, shivering as you saw it glisten over his marred skin.
Clothes coming off, thrown aside. Guitar sliding to the hardwood floor as bodies tumbled. Your hands on his chest, your hard nipples pressed into the sheets as Yoongi slipped his hand into your hair and shoved your head down. Mouth open, tongue curling around. Moan striking the air, echoing in the nothingness.
Hard, hot, now wet.
Up, down, hitting the back of your throat, unable to choke in the adrenaline of lust, in need, in desire for pain, rubbing your tongue all over as Yoongi face-fucked you hard and fast, thick cock swelling in your mouth, your lips grazing the swollen head and making him shudder, saliva slipping down your chin that was smacking into his balls.
Was it shameful that you were good at it?
Sex solved nothing but you sure had a lot of it as if it did.
A sharp gasp and salty cum filled your throat, drinking, swallowing with effort and the burning sensation of your locked jaw, maintaining the soft tightness. Tongue tracing the contours, keeping him hard, hearing the rip of a foil packet above your head.
You hadn’t even realized that Yoongi had let go of your hair, letting you lick him all over at your own pace.
“What position?” Yoongi panted, husky and breathless in the mostly empty bedroom.
Mattress, chair, desk, laptop. Oh, and guitar.
Bodies on the floor.
You didn’t say anything.
You just turned around and slid down, elbows on the bed, knees spread, ass up.
“Alright then.”
You bit your lower lip.
You almost turned your head, almost looked back, just to check, right, just to check he was okay with it, and then strong hands gripped your hips, lifting them, sliding in, condom on and stretching you out right away, his knees pushing your knees apart and forcing you to arch your back for the angle.
No chance to look back.
You gasped, gripping the sheets, blinded by pleasure and the fading resonance of pain.
Hard.
Deep.
You pushing back, deep not deep enough, hitting your preferred depth and letting your eyelids flutter, veins burning with the repeated ecstasy. One of your hands lifted and reached back, squeezing his hand on your hip, and the grip became tighter, fingertips digging in, smacking his hips into your ass, and your body threatened to throw him back, carnal power meeting his every thrust, clenching around his hard length, and you could hear Yoongi growl your name, low and deep and voracious.
Somehow, his name fell from your lips too.
Rough and sinful, no better than an animal.
His nails dug into your back and dragged down, burning lines into your skin.
Your head tipped back and you moaned, a clear, shameless sound that would become familiar to this ceiling. Pooling wildfire, tightening muscles, wasted nectar sticky between joined thighs, surge after shivering surge of orgasmic apex stinging your veins as you barely registered Yoongi’s shudder and blissful groan, feeling the pulse inside you made than hearing the sound.
The rush of blood roaring in your ears was far too loud for you to hear anything.
Your face felt hot, so hot.
Gripping the sheets, twisting them, pulling them off the edge of the bed.
This moment.
Very few things were as intense and exigent as an orgasm. Fleeting, but a violently memorable. Pure nothingness of soaring high. You chased it. Again. And again. And again, your fingers tangled in Yoongi’s dark hair, pulling it over his face but he didn’t look at you anyway, eyes closed and teeth trapping his lower lip, breath trapped in his chest, driving his hips into yours again and again.
You both kept going until the limits were reached.
The darkness willingly swallowed you up.
-
Min Yoongi always considered himself a rational person, which was precisely why he found himself entangled in the break-up between his former best friend and the only woman he ever considered committing a felony for.
Yeah.
He also didn’t believe in love at first sight.
She was still way too hot for that idiot though.
His eyes could communicate well enough with his dick. The short skirt and exposed thighs didn’t really help either. Still, Yoongi had let it be. Respect was keeping his distance despite racing heartbeat and keeping calm despite shaking hands. He got used to it once the late-night talks about music and wordplay became a regular thing. Sometimes they talked about general life and were surprised on how well they aligned. Still, she never spoke poorly about her then-boyfriend even though there was plenty to talk about.
Scorched earth was their sacred ground.
It was painful to witness.
Yoongi regretted valuing the friendship, mostly because it didn’t mean jack shit at the end of the day. He regretted believing in the elegant, age-old saying.
Bros before hoes.
Tch.
But mostly, Yoongi regretted pretending like nothing was wrong.
He would see the pain in her expression and not say anything. Watch her pack it all away and greet him with warmth that he didn’t deserve because he had a racing heart and shaking hands every time they met. He would watch his former best friend disappear into hotel rooms without explanation and Yoongi knew damn well it wasn’t right, but he kept his mouth shut because he was a coward, something he figured out later.
He could have washed his hands clean of that shitshow, but instead his hands had held her shaking shoulders and watched her struggle not to cry on that cold night.
Yoongi considered himself a rational person, but never a good one.
Too many ways to judge, and her lips had already connected with his as soon as his shoulder blades hit the wall. He didn’t stop it. Maybe it was bitterness. Vengeance. Hate.
No, it wasn’t any of that, actually.
He didn’t know exactly what but, in that moment, Yoongi knew that he would murder that asshole if he saw his former best friend’s face right then, ready to commit a felony all because those beautiful eyes couldn’t look at him, closing instead to blink back the tears that bastard didn’t deserve.
That meant something, all right.
He knew it could take a long time. He knew it would almost certainly be hopeless. He knew he would probably end up with a broken heart and broke as hell. He knew it was a bad idea and he knew it was going to tear him up, this spiral, but when he found himself looking up to the ceilings of these mostly empty rooms, this condo he now half-owed with the woman that was formerly his best friend’s girlfriend, and Yoongi found he didn’t know and he didn’t care what the future held.
She had trouble sleeping.
Less trouble after exhausting themselves.
He had trouble sleeping too, but that was because he was staring at the ceiling and wondering just how rational he really was. One hand behind his head, under the pillow. The other resting on the blanket, on the curve of her hip, feeling the steady hum of her breathing.
She never cried in front of him.
He knew she did cry, because he heard her in the bathroom sometimes. But never in front of him. Showed anger, yes, but never acted helpless even though it was perfectly reasonable to feel that way after everything that happened. Living on the least for his sake, even to the point of skipping meals and spending all her time trying to write, trying to get back to her livelihood, trying to get past all the false starts. Personally, Yoongi felt that she should give up for now and heal herself, but he also knew how it felt to feel stubborn and useless.
Hah.
It was weird, being so close and yet so far away.
He felt it most in the nighttime, even though that was when he was closest to her.
He was never going to be the same. He knew that. He already wasn’t, surprising himself with his own recklessness, and for what? He didn’t even know what she was capable of reciprocating after receiving all those scars. Didn’t even know if he was the right one, if he was better or worse, if…
If he was believing in something that wasn’t there.
Yoongi closed his eyes and went to sleep.
-
Livid.
It was weird. Feeling it. In the past, you buried it, numb, and promptly lived in delusion. But now you could feel it. What was more, you let yourself feel it. There wasn’t anything to stop you except for the occasional mental peanut gallery of you’re a bad person if you feel jealousy, but anger could overtake anything if you let it.
You stared at the scene before you, several meters away.
Seething.
It felt good.
Mostly because it was honest.
It surprised you. You hadn’t expected to feel anything. Sad, maybe. You had already been cheated on, so naturally you assumed the cycle would begin anew, just with less promises and in the gray area of uncertainty. But, no, instead of being distraught and delusional, you felt maddeningly, viciously, nearly on-the-edge of making a fist and dislocating Min Yoongi’s jaw from his skull because he was speaking to a female-presenting human at the entrance of the building that housed his and others’ music studios.
Did you lack context? Yes.
Would that get you arrested? Yeah, probably.
Would that probably not get you laid anymore and label you as an unhinged psychopath? Without a doubt.
But would it feel good?
Don’t know.
You had never punched someone before, although maybe you should have practiced on your ex-boyfriend. He was probably a more deserving candidate. In any case, you remained frozen in perplexation at your willingness for violence because you were pretty sure your… relations… with Yoongi were nothing more than a lonely bitch and a spiteful silver tongue executing revenge, so the amount of fucks you should give about Yoongi speaking to any human being – other than the obvious health and safety precautions – should be zero.
None.
Basket of fucks empty.
And yet.
Clearly wasn’t since you were mentally calculating the angle and force for jaw dislocation while having zero experience in doing so. In any sort of non-virtual manner, that is.
Hm.
Your hands were firmly in the pockets of your black cargo pants. The hip ones, although you had plenty of choice. You kept them there for the safety of passerby or, maybe deep down, yourself. This caused your jacket to fall open, the outlines of the sew-on patches and thick, bunched-up black denim crowding the space between your forearm and waist, your black cropped tank exposed to the chill evening air. You used to wear a plethora of band t-shirts, but, well, those were probably in a landfill or rotting in a secondhand shop.
You figured you would be cold. Unsurprisingly, the anger kept you warm.
Huh.
You thought about turning around and just straight up leaving, petty and picturesque of course, and then Yoongi seemed to sense your projected violence, looking up from the conversation. Dark waves over his cheeks, striking body line, backing away, hiding his eyes for a moment, not that you could see them that well from this distance. You twitched.
The girl reached out.
Yoongi simply bowed, out of reach, and pushed the glass door open.
Honestly, her role in this moment was so miniscule that you completely ignored whatever she did or possibly could have said to Yoongi’s retreating back. Sharpened gaze, and then he crossed the street with the crowd, walking past oblivious bystanders who may or may not become the harrowed audience of the next thirty seconds.
He stopped before you. Bomber jacket, white shirt, black track pants. Monochrome elegance.
You looked up at him, saying nothing.
Over one shoulder was his usual guitar bag that held said instrument and his yellow notepad sticking out of the pocket. He used it to jot down whatever came to him. You almost said something. Almost. Then you remembered that if this, this between you and Min Yoongi, if this was supposed to be nothing, then weren’t you supposed to do nothing but voice your casual annoyance for making you wait rather than, well.
Admit insecurity?
You looked away quickly.
No, it did not matter how reasonable it was, you didn’t like knowing that somehow you had been weakened by an ex-boyfriend, barely a man, no, a mere locust at best, so it was better to not say anything and accept that this was–
“Sorry, I got caught up with the staff about ending my lease.”
Compromised.
You didn’t look at him. “What?”
“Gonna end my lease this month and move my studio stuff to the condo. I can’t afford both.”
He had told you this already. It had been your idea. You already knew you were overreacting to a situation that you created in your head rather than reality. And, yet, the best your mind would allow was uh huh, a plausible explanation, sarcasm included.
“Ah. Right,” was your sharp, mildly frigid reply.
“I can’t read your mind.”
Do you intend to be exhausting?
Your mental peanut gallery was super annoying.
You breathed in. Cool, crisp air. The sound of cars and people bustling in and out of stores. You breathed in again. Did you really intend to be exhausting, irrational, and, worst of all, dishonest? Really, after all that had happened? After getting here, standing here, arriving to pick up Yoongi at his request to do the grocery shopping together?
You turned back to look right into black-brown, piercing orbs.
“I just realized that I have the ability to be jealous,” you exhaled, draining your lungs. “It’s unpleasant and not nearly as delightfully pivotal as the media makes it out to be.”
Something fluttered in those orbs.
Or maybe it was the wind catching his bangs, drifting black strands over his eyes shadowed by dark circles.
Yoongi half-smiled.
“Makes for good songwriting material though.”
There was an air of helplessness to his words. A tone you couldn’t define, except for the understanding, which left you both baffled and with a sense of guilt. There were emotions in that barely-there smirk on those familiar lips. Relief. Maybe a slight bit of shame. A shadow of guilt too. You realized people were glancing at you and him as they walked past, wondering why you both were at a standstill on the sidewalk. Yoongi seemed to not notice them or care.
You pulled your hands out of your pockets.
“Come on. We should go before it gets dark.”
Before you noticed it, your hand was rising.
You pulled it back, but not fast enough.
Yoongi’s free hand reached out and grasped around yours, strong fingers enclosing. Sliding up, calluses on your palm. Your hand lowered, slowly, your eyes moving in the opposite direction. Lips parting. His hand was colder than yours.
You stared at Yoongi.
He looked back, expression unreadable.
“I don’t hold hands,” you said, suddenly breathless.
You tightened your grip.
“Neither do I,” Yoongi replied, taking a step, on the cusp of walking past you, his hand around yours. “I simply just don’t like the idea of yours getting cold when I can do something about it.”
Previously, when you held hands, it was always with a purpose of showing public affection. The look-how-real-this-is-because-there-are-clear-witnesses show. Front row tickets nobody asked for. But this.
This.
You blinked hard and the sting was inside.
The sting of wasted time.
Your name in that raspy, soft voice. Familiar. You looked up, not saying anything and hoping the eye contact was enough. All Yoongi did was smile lightly and tug your hand.
“Let’s get take-out and shop tomorrow. We have plenty of time to eat healthier.”
-
“You can cry in front of me.”
Min Yoongi heard her breath hitch and still.
Seconds that felt like hours ticked by. It was the dead of night. Or maybe one could call it the time when honesty came to life, if the conditions were right. He knew this time well usually with a drink in his hand, but this time he was laying on his side with bruises of bites and carnal memories lingering on his fingertips.
“I wasn’t crying.”
Her voice was thick and strained from trying to keep it even. Her moment of jealousy had happened days ago. He had recognized it right away. Call it personal experience. He also recognized that she didn’t like to feel that way. It was obvious from her torn yet furious expression. It confirmed a lot of things for him. Still, she seemed pleased to help him move and set up his things in the bedroom. They found the living room to be a bit too echoey due to the large space so they switched the two, pulling the mattress to the living room and setting up his equipment in the center of what was formerly the bedroom.
He told her to paint the condo.
She had mentioned in passing that someday she would like to paint her entire living space black. Not this place, because he owned it too, and you probably think I’m crazy for wanting a dark space, huh, Yoongi? He asked her, why wait? No one lives forever. We’re just passing through.
She had given him a weird look.
We own this condo. Paint it.
There were cans of black paint waiting.
Yoongi had intended to go visit his family over the weekend. His parents and his brother who had recently been promoted to head chef at the classy restaurant he worked at. Someone in the family needed to have prestige. Well, that was his own personal feeling. Surprisingly at this point his parents had given up on telling him to get a higher-paying job. They told him to simply be happy.
And get married.
Yeah, about that.
He was still trying to get used to the music producer thing, for fuck’s sake.
“Are you afraid I won’t understand?” Yoongi let himself say, not turning around yet.
Sometimes, people didn’t want you to see them weak. He could understand that.
Call it personal experience.
A shuddering sigh. Deep breaths. Words bogged down, drained.
“I can only be so pathetic before I lose my mind recalling the past,” she mumbled. He felt her weight deepen on her side of the bed, as if she was trying to melt into the mattress. “I made things hard for myself. For you. It’s pointless to cry about it anyway. In the end, it only makes me look ungrateful.”
Yoongi thought about it.
“It’s true that you probably shouldn’t have involved me.”
He shifted, laying on his back now.
“But I’m not a good person either. I agreed, after all,” he murmured, his skin tingling with bruises and carnal memories. “Hm, to be honest, he was always a dick though, from high school till now. Always will be, I fear.”
“You’re easygoing enough not to be affected by his asshole behavior.”
“Not my job to change people. I leave that to parents and clueless fools.”
A pensive silence. Surprisingly not an irritated one. She seemed to accept it.
“Why did you become his friend?” she asked, staring at the ceiling with him.
“We just happened to like the same thing. Music.”
“I’m lucky you decided to become his friend.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I’m lucky that somehow he managed to bamboozle a hot and clever girl, two things he’s obviously not.”
She almost laughed. Almost.
“Who the fuck uses the word bamboozle?”
“You had to admit you were bamboozled, because you sure as hell weren’t dick-drunk.”
“Oh? You think you’re that good, huh?”
“No, I just know he’s that much worse.”
The faintest of chuckles.
“You… You get better every time,” she admitted. “I think I just caught you off guard the first time.”
“Firstly, I don’t like wasting time and, secondly, I had given up for a while before…” I met you. “Romance seemed like an expensive, worthless distraction when I could be using that time and money trying to push the band forward,” he pivoted, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “Then that went to shit.”
“Sorry.”
Automatic.
He chuckled darkly. “I’m confident I got the better deal.”
A trembling pause.
“Why do you think that?”
He reached over and placed his palm on the top of her head, lacing his fingers in her hair. Messing it up.
“Tell me the truth. Was he good at sex?”
A burst of laughter. “Really? Alright. No, he wasn’t. He sucked. Thought he was a piston of a muscle car instead of a human being. Oh, and once he fell asleep on top of me.”
He cocked an eyebrow. Turned his head and forced hers to turn as well.
She was smiling.
Yoongi found his chest tight and breath shallow.
“And you didn’t leave him then… why?” he pressed.
She winced, albeit playfully. “I yelled at him. A lot. I don’t know, maybe he was tired.”
“Not an excuse.”
“I know, I know…” Sigh. “I… I didn’t want to believe I made the wrong choice.” Her eyes shifted, but her body was still turned to face his. “I… It made my entire family angry, dating him. Especially my parents. They would never forgive me and hold it over my head forever. I had to make it work. I thought, if only I worked hard enough…” Another heavy breath, squeezing her eyes tightly. “I know it was pride, but I wanted to prove to them and myself that I could do anything. Bad choices? Maybe. But they were mine. I don’t want my life decided by what is best for me. If I suffer for it, those are my consequences.”
Her eyes opened, but barely.
Yoongi kept his hand on her head, running his fingers through her hair.
“I… I feel like shit because now you’re stuck in my mistakes,” she breathed.
He liked to touch her hair. It felt comforting.
“You know what your problem is?”
She glared under lashes and dared him.
Undeterred, he continued. “You blame yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened.”
A disapproving frown. “Hah?”
He tapped her forehead. “You think it’ll bother me if you cry, but what truly bothers me is that you cry alone.” Pushed back the strands, and now he was closer, sharing breath. “You think I’m stuck in your mistakes. Mistakes don’t inherently have only negative consequences. They almost always exist in a gray area.”
“I... I know that,” she grumbled, face against his chest.
“I did say you were clever.”
A drifting, drowsy silence.
“I’m not clever,” she whispered to his skin, pulling her body closer. “I just like you.”
Yoongi felt himself losing to sleep.
“I’ve always liked you, since the moment I saw you,” he muttered into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he said it at all.
-
“Ah? Yes? Sorry about that. Oh, yes, uh, I’m painting. Everything. Yes, I’ll be sure the keep the windows open. Thank you.”
You closed the front door of the condo. Well. You had expected nervousness, but somehow the conversation between you and the downstairs neighbor had been very calm. Apparently, he worked from home and wasn’t expecting the loud crash of the ladder from your unit.
In your defense, you hadn’t expected it either.
Thankfully, you hadn’t been on the ladder, only trying to figure out how to set it up. It was one of those compact ones that saved space but required some innovative thinking to get the taller height you needed. One crash and a YouTube video later, the ladder was now secure, and then came the knock on the front door.
The thoughts flew by – I don’t belong here, I can’t do this alone, they’re going to scold me and I haven’t even done the upper half yet – but the guy just seemed curious and confused. Didn’t even comment on your awkward outfit of navy boys’ basketball shorts and ill-fitted gray sports bra. Both on super sale. You were still wearing your bra because of the incorrect size, so the gray blob was bordering on ugly-ass tank top.
Look.
Some people had clothing they didn’t care about to paint in and some people had to dive in sale bins because they left behind most of their wardrobe and, with the clothes, their bad memories.
That was the intent.
Things rarely go as intended.
For instance, you thought you were going to feel imposter syndrome for a neighbor knowing that you were painting your own goddamn walls. You turned away from the door after you locked it, frowning. That’s right. Like it or not, bad decisions and minus an ex-boyfriend later, these were your walls. You looked up, out the large, floor-to-ceiling living room windows, and saw the sunlight sparkle over the sprawling city, walls painted half-black and half white surrounding you, and you could say that you never wanted to be here, but.
It was a sick view.
We own this condo. Paint it.
Your muscles were sore from the repeated swiping motion of the paint roller, but there was still this inexplicable energy coursing through you.
“What if it doesn’t look good?” you had asked Yoongi.
He had shrugged. “Then we paint it again.”
“It’ll be dark.”
“Wow, really? I thought black was supposed to be bright and cheerful,” was the sarcastic quip. “Just believe you have good taste and paint the damn walls.”
This condo was an investment that made you poor.
That was the truth you needed to face.
You have good taste.
You scrunched your face slightly as you remembered Yoongi’s facial expression. Was he… praising you or himself? You squinted. This guy. Picked up the paint roller again and saturated it with ink black, making crispy crinkly sounds as you shuffled over the plastic. Good taste. Well, that was relative, wasn’t it? Everything was at the end of the day. You climbed onto the ladder and began the repetitive, monotone motion once more but at a higher elevation. You should have put your music back on. Your phone was on the plastic-covered mattress and you were not about to go back down until you finished this section or ran out of paint. This was going to be a long process, but you had several days and too much time as Yoongi had already left to visit his family.
Now you were alone with a lot of paint and mind-numbing fumes.
Shit, you should have opened the window.
You would have to paint a second coat anyway. Who cared if the first coat was shitty?
Sigh.
Climbing down and doing your due diligence before returning to your post.
You had forgotten once again to put your music back on. Hah. Well, that was fine; you had yourself. You didn’t mind being alone. Heh, sometimes it was better to be alone. You continued rolling away, hardworking in the consistent rhythm. Thinking about it now, this might have been the first time in a long time that you were okay with being alone. Before, you had felt guilty whenever you weren’t thinking about your relationship. Huh. Odd. Was it some kind of mental self-reassurance when you knew something was off? It was hard to tell, but possible.
Everything was off about that relationship. You just had too much pride to admit it.
You sighed, climbing back down to reload.
Wait a second. Was this why there was that wider step towards the top of the ladder? You poured some more paint in the tray and carried it up with you. Oh shit. Wow. Innovation. You coughed and went back to a different patch of wall. No one saw that. See, perks of being alone.
Well, you didn’t hate Yoongi being here.
You stopped painting.
You didn’t just think that.
You went back to painting. Shut up, nagging feeling. You furiously painted on, ignoring your soreness, telling that little voice in your head to shut up, because there were plenty of reasons not to think stuff like that. Firstly, you weren’t ready to think stuff like that. And what if it was only hopeful transference rather than genuine feeling? Asshole or not, your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal of trust was not something so easily overcome. It wasn’t fair to Yoongi either, pretending to like him if you weren’t sure.
You liked Yoongi before you broke up, too.
Wasn’t that fucked up?
You sighed and came back down, careful to scoot the ladder without spilling and causing a mess. Back up and at it. Of course, it was fucked up. And you knew it was, which might have been why you let it get that bad. Might? Was why you let it get that bad. Two hypocrites were meant for each other. You huffed, puffing your cheeks. It wasn’t enough to hold the ticking grenade; you had needed confirmation it was a, in fact, a bomb.
Maybe even hoping it would end you.
It didn’t.
For some reason, you thought Yoongi could see that in you.
Damn, he’s really living in your system, hm?
You frowned.
Your phone rang.
You almost jumped, startled at the sudden sound of an old song you used to enjoy. Back when you were a teenager, and the memories came back as you climbed down. A kid who just really liked rock’n’roll, and parents who did not, but that kid didn’t care, annoyingly setting it as her ringtone on her shitty flip phone. Couldn’t you be her again? Before you had time to ponder, you checked your hands for paint and picked up your phone, answering it.
“Hello?”
“Did you eat?”
You blinked, sitting down on the crinkly plastic upon hearing that deep, raspy voice. “Uh, no. I was gonna stop by the convenience store when the first coat was done.”
“No, you weren’t. You were gonna skip a meal,” Min Yoongi tutted. “Because you don’t want to be a nuisance and use the money I had left you.”
Damn. He knew you, all right.
“If I forget, I forget,” you grumbled.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, pick up the food order from the front desk when it comes. They told me about thirty minutes.”
“You don’t have to order food for me. I’m not a kid,” you hissed.
“It’s the pho spot you like and if I don’t put food in front of you, you won’t eat. You intend to do all that hard work without some fuel?” A pause. You made a disapproving noise. “And I know you’re not a kid. By the way, what’s your waist measurement?”
You remained a grump. “Why?”
“I’m here, so I’m going to buy you some clothes.”
“Don’t buy me clothes. Don’t spend money–”
“You need things,” Yoongi cut you off. “Unless you want to come with me? You don’t trust me?”
“That’s not it and you know it,” you snapped back. “It’s not worth–”
“Of course, it isn’t. It’s vain and silly and superficial. And I’m still going to buy you things, so tell me your waist measurement.”
“Yoongi, this is your hard-earned money,” you puffed out, exasperated.
“Yeah, and I make money to provide you with a good life because I think you are the most important person to me. So, do you want me to guess with my hands or are you going to meet me halfway?”
Dead silence.
He called your name, softly.
You told him in centimeters.
“Got it. Don’t forget to check the front desk in thirty minutes.”
-
“I love you.”
His hair was stuck to his face due to sweat. “What?”
“I said I love you,” she said, staring right at him, their chests shuddering from exertion.
Yoongi couldn’t believe it, but also he wasn’t surprised. The room still smelled faintly like paint. The windows still had no curtains or blinds. They were still fucking on the mattress in the center of the living room and he was holding the used condom when she said I love you.
The walls and ceiling were all black, covering them in darkness as the city below glimmered with light.
“I love you,” was his reply.
It startled him, the suddenness of his response. He knew he did. Of course, he did, and he turned away quickly, making his way to the kitchen and throwing away the condom, skin tingling, cheeks aflame, and he was startled by the feeling that remained. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of her mouth even though he was sure of his own feelings. Yoongi had resigned himself to not hear it from her lips. He also didn’t need to hear it to know that it was true.
He saw her head to the bathroom.
Time was funny sometimes.
Suddenly they were both staring at each other on the mattress, the usual ritual completed, and the moment suspended.
“You didn’t have to say it,” he finally said. “For my sake.”
“I didn’t.” Her hair curled over her shoulder, caressing her curves. “I said it for my sake.”
Blankets and pillows and questions.
“I wondered about the validity of it,” she admitted to him. “Been wrong before and all that. Might still be wrong. So, I said it just to see if I regretted it.”
“Ah.”
They stared into each other’s eyes.
“Do you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No.”
He half-smiled. How very simple yet complicated. He understood. “All the paint fumes really got to your head, huh?”
She looked up at him and he realized with a start that she, too, was half-smiling.
He reached out, smoothing her hair.
“You have a pretty face, Yoongi,” she teased, eyes sparkling.
He raised an eyebrow.
“I thought it would be too cliché, you and me,” she continued and the tone was different now, softer and more serious. “I thought you would get tired.”
She meant, of me.
He had thought this was cliché too. Cliché didn’t mean worthless though. His hand fell, and rested over hers without a second thought. Warm and against the sheets. “If I felt that way, I would have stopped speaking to you long ago. You could take care of yourself too.” Not safely, but could. “Except for money.”
She smirked.
“So you’re saying I need a suga daddy.”
Yoongi twitched.
“Part of me wanted to sell the condo as soon as possible,” she went on, casually glossing over the comment. “But the realtor said it would be a bad idea. I wouldn’t have any buyers without a minimum of six months or a year. Too many superstitions. Part of me thought I should…”
She looked up to the ceiling.
It was a high-rise, after all.
“All the reasons to move here were his. More convenient, better opportunities, owning rather than renting for the investment… I believed in it, more than myself.”
He didn’t say anything. Couldn’t because all those things had benefitted him already. He didn’t only agree to move in help her out. He was still a working music producer. But she didn’t seem to be saying it to condone him.
“I didn’t really think this place was mine until I painted the walls.”
Yoongi thought he should at least confess this part. “That’s why I told you to paint them.”
A small laugh. “You don’t like it, huh?”
“Don’t you remember the walls of the old studio were dark gray? That was my doing. I always resented the last place I rented because they didn’t let me paint the walls.”
“Ah… He painted over the gray.”
“I bet he did.”
They had fallen to the bed now, side by side.
“I didn’t think this would work out,” she breathed.
“I thought it might,” he hummed.
“Why?”
“You’re hot and clever and I wanted you from the first day I saw you.”
A warm chuckle. “Just like that?”
“Well, you had to give me a chance. Couldn’t make the first move due to the circumstances.”
“It was a convoluted and confusing one.”
“Eh, life’s unfair.”
-
“Your husband already paid.”
Your what?
“What?”
The cashier waved you away. You shuffled back, dazed, seeing Min Yoongi emerge from the bathroom in the corner of the restaurant, tucking a bit of his long black hair behind his ears and finding you in front of him.
“The cashier just called you my husband,” you declared.
He shrugged.
“Surprise.”
You blinked at him.
Patrons chatted and laughed as if this was a normal day. The music was horrendous covers of cheesy 2000’s pop. It was very strange, but the pho was good and well-priced, which was why Yoongi and you came here often after his meetings with music companies. Popular talent was in high demand.
He ticked his head to your outfit. “I know you like this dress I bought you, but you’ve left your coat at the table.”
“Oh, shit.”
“You’ve been scatterbrained ever since you started writing again.”
“Shut up.”
--
masterpost
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