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#youre wasting time trying to tell us how to live our lives when you could be passing legislation to fix the fucking roads.
your periodic reminder that im trans and everything ive ever made has been done with the hopes to showcase the beauty and power and glory that being trans is.
this is also your periodic reminder that im queer and everything ive ever made has been done with the hopes to showcase the beauty and power and glory that being queer is.
this is also your periodic reminder that im ace and everything ive ever made has been done with the hopes to showcase the beauty and power and glory that being ace is.
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5sospenguinqueen · 5 months
Text
Terrible Two | Max Verstappen x Hamilton! Reader
Summary: Lewis hates the idea of Max dating his sister. Not because he's overprotective but because he’s trying to save the younger driver from the insanity of his sister. Or the one where Y/N terrorises the Grid OFF the track and Max terrorises them ON the track.
Warnings: Swearing. Fluff. Not 2021.
Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.
Requested by @shelbyteller
Main Masterlist
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and others
YourUserName race day with my favourite hamilton (oh, and lewis was there too, i guess) 💚 tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton
9,457 comments
User 1 i live for the hamilton sibling shade
lewishamilton i miss how peaceful my life was before you were born
→ YourUserName i miss how peaceful my life was before i was born too
→ User2 oof, felt that
roscoelovescoco loves you aunty y/n
→ YourUserName and i love you my sweet boy. i’m already planning my next attempt to kidnap you
→ User3 i love that she wastes no time to pick on lewis but plays along with his roscoe account
→ YourUserName i don’t play when it comes to my fluffy man
User4 miss thing, you are not slick. we all see the red bull in the last slide
→ User5 omg and they were seen chatting outside the space between the two garages earlier
→ User6 she was also seen talking to charles, pierre, valtteri and george but i don’t see any of you linking them together?
→ User7 her and Charles tho
→ User6 ffs 🙄
mercedesamgf1 you and roscoe are also our favourite hamiltons
→ lewishamilton i just can’t catch a break
charles_leclerc thank you for letting me into the garage to see the baby 🐶
maxverstappen1 always nice having you around the paddock
liked by YourUserName
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by alex_albon, lewishamilton and others
YourUserName another weekend, another flex 🏁. also, thank you to @ nike for literally being the reason i get to chase my brother around the world tagged: lewishamilton, georgerussell63
7,669 commnets
georgerussell63 will you stop eating my snacks
→ YourUserName no, you don’t need them. your trainer says you’re getting fat
→ georgerussell63 don’t tell lies!
lewishamilton shoes on the bed!!
→ YourUserName they never touched the bed! and they’ve never even touched the ground!
→ YourUserName get off my post!
→ YourUserName go lose some races!
→ lewishamilton just like you’ve lost my love!
→ YourUserName i never wanted it in the first place!
charles_leclerc perhaps you could wear red next?
→ landonorris nah mate. papaya all the way
→ maxverstappen1 i think she'd look better in blue
liked by YourUserName
mercedesamgf1 thank you for being the most entertaining member of the garage
→ georgerussell63 admin, how could you? i thought i was the best 🥺
User8 i'm living for y/n's sponsored post for work literally leads to her terrorising half the grid
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User9 no because the way this woman had him blushing and kicking his feet outside his own garage earlier, he’s smitten
→ User10 i was in the paddock and no joke, he giggled!
User11 um i highly doubt max is flirting with y/n to mess with lewis, if anything, lewis asked y/n to flirt with max to mess up his game
→ User12 i bet you’re feeling real foolish about this comment now (race day tweet)
→ User13 agreed with user12, if anything the flirting fuelled max because he won with an 8 second lead
User14 no because they would be far too hot for any of us to handle
YourUserName oh look at that, I’m trending again
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and others
YourUserName thanks for having me @ redbullracing. it was a different perspective of the track, that’s for sure. well done on your 1-2 tagged: maxverstappen1
10,347 comments
mercedesamgf1 but you’re still a traitor 💔
lewishamilton i missed you
→ YourUserName @ lewishamilton you’re so needy
→ YourUserName but i missed you too
redbullracing our good luck charm
→ georgerussell63 back off. you can’t have her
→ mercedesamgf1 @ georgerussell63 you tell ‘em, boo
maxverstappen1 it was a delight to have you
→ User15 dude you need better rizz than that
charles_leclerc ferrari in the future?
→ lewishamilton no
→ georgerussell63 no
→ mercedesamgf1 no
→ maxverstappen1 no
(this comment has been deleted)
danielricciardo i tried getting you to visit me there for years but max comes along and asks ONCE
liked by maxverstappen1
→ User15 omg max invited her
→ User16 omg she was there for work
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and others
YourUserName he said he liked my curls so I let him take me for a drive
6,669 comments
yourfriend okay but the hair is looking fire
lewishamilton who’s car is that
lewishamilton where are you
lewishamilton who are you with
lewishamilton I know you’re on your phone. stop ignoring my comments
→ User1 lewis is killing me
→ User2 she’s really making him work up a sweat
yourfriend2 these pics are killing me. salivating
→ yourfriend3 agreed. bark bark woof woof
liked by YourUserName
liked by maxverstappen1
User3 okay but doesn’t that look a lot like max’s recent car?
→ lewishamilton show me the evidence
→ User3 omg no way you replied
→ User4 you literally can barely see the car but okay?
maxverstappen1 was he at least a good driver?
→ YourUserName i don’t know. he hit the curb and was a bit on the slow side
→ User5 you ain't slick, sis
landonorris omg you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about us
→ YourUserName omg but you kept asking me for curl care routines. how could i resist?
alex_albon i mean the curls are nice but i don’t know how he can put up with your personality
→ YourUserName @ lilymhe dump him
→ lilymhe but he’s losing? so i feel like i have to wait until the season is over
→ alex_albon babe!
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User6 do they need a third
User7 everybody stay FUCKIGN CALM!
User8 okay but the way he holds her when he kisses her 🥹
User9 can somebody check on lewis? i feel he may not be able to handle this
User10 anyone else think these photos are an absolute invasion of privacy? how disgusting
→ User11 oh agreed. we hate that this was done but we're also so happy that they're together
User12 the dream team. one can terrorise the grid OFF the track and one terrorises them ON the track
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and others
YourUserName when bae is thirsty so am i 💦
11,342 comments
User13 is this a hard launch
→ User14 no, i think the paps did that for them
→ maxverstappen1 she had a 10 page document of plans for a soft launch as well
→ User15 um miss y/n, we'll still take those posts please
User16 does this mean we’re going to be getting y/n in the red bull garage from now to on and not Merc :(
→ georgerussell63 we were told we had to have shared custody
→ mercedesedamgf1 toto and christian had to sign a contract
lewishamilton i don’t like this. i'm happy for you but i do not need max verstappen thirst traps all over my feed
→ YourUserName well, i know you much prefer the real thing but you’re not allowed to drool over that anymore
→ lewishamilton how do i disown you?
→ YourUserName i've been asking myself that question for years
danielricciardo woohoo maxie. i wasn't familiar with you like that
charles_leclerc it's nice to see the two of you finally together so that max stops talking to me in the cool down room about your beauty
→ maxverstappen1 shut the fuck up.
→ YourUserName @ maxverstappen1 aww you think i’m pretty
→ maxverstappen1 of course I do
landonorris how could you do this to me. i thought we were forever
→ YourUserName we weren’t even for 2 minutes
→ danielricciardo she only likes champions, mate
redbullracing going to need these blown up and out in the garage
→ YourUserName already on it
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by mercedesamgf1, nicorosberg and others
YourUserName just a couple of besties aka my brother wants to steal my boyfriend tagged: maxverstappen1, lewishamilton
7,555 comments
danielricciardo i think you mean MY boyfriend
→ YourUserName max told me your little fling meant nothing to him
→ danielricciardo @ maxverstappen1 you bitch!
→ maxverstappen1 i'm sorry but y/n means more to me than our night together
→ danielricciardo take it back
→ YourUserName your head game just wasn’t that strong
→ lewishamilton @ YourUserName i hate you for making me read that
georgerussell63 why don’t you take pics like this of me with lewis 🥺 i like him more than max does
→ YourUserName @ lewishamilton you’re upsetting all of your boyfriends tonight
→ lewishamilton i hate you
landonorris does this mean you’re free for me to hit you up
→ maxverstappen1 watch your back on the track
→ redbullracing @ maxverstappen1 christian said you’re not allowed to say that online anymore
→ maxverstappen1 for legal purposes, my previous comment was a joke
maxverstappen1 you’re the only Hamilton for me, schatje
→ YourUserName love you baby
→ maxverstappen1 love you too 💕
→ charles_leclerc @ maxverstappen1 i miss when you loved me
mercedesamgf1 please stop posting these. you’re making the rest of the grid jealous
mclaren please stop upsetting the grid by revealing their affairs. now they’re all crying
williamsracing @ YourUserName for the sake of the race, please stop stealing max from his boyfriends. they can’t drive through their tears
redbullracing we need more content like this, please. if the other drivers are too heartsick, there’s nothing standing in our way
→ redbullracing for legal reasons, this is a joke
3K notes · View notes
hyukaslvr · 6 months
Text
strong enough | j. jungkook (1)
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< series masterlist
paring: Jungkook x (f) reader
genre/tags: idol! Jungkook, idol! reader, idiot exes to lovers, slow burn ; k-drama feels (our beloved summer but not at the same time), angst, drama, fluff, smut
warnings: foul/explicit language, alcohol consumption, unhealthy coping mechanisms, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters, panic attacks, reader is harsh towards Jungkook
w.c: TBD
series summary: you and Jungkook have too many personal problems, during and after your relationship and it keeps getting brought up. you both had tried multiple times to ignore the fact you were both struggling mentally and physically due to your workplace, but you always run back to each other. maybe one day, one day you'll get back to each other, with all your problems handled, maybe not. all you want is for him to shine like he always does, all he wants is you.
a/n at very bottom!
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Jungkook didn’t need to prove to you that he was able to live by himself on his own without you, he wanted to. so for the past 7 months, he’s been taking care of himself in every way he felt he needed you to help him with.
he didn’t do it just for you though, he did it for his life. he was dependent on you, for all of his feelings and to make sure he did the tasks he needed to do. he made sure to watch himself and watch how he acts, he made sure to try his best to take care of himself, sometimes he wanted to text you that it was easy, a piece of cake he would even say.
but since you were here anymore, for the last 6 months, he’d been on his own and doing things on his own. better than he expected too, he expected himself the next week after you tore him apart that he’d be right back at your doorsteps, begging you take him back.
but he didn’t, he stayed strong, and truly believed if you loved him, you would come back. eventually. but he couldn’t wait for you any longer. he couldn’t just sit around and be unmotivated hoping you would come back soon. so he stood his ground, worked out every morning and night, the endless punches against his punching bag echoed in his empty house, the house you used to fill the empty void for.
for now, he blocked you on everything, avoids the events your group is invited to, and makes sure he doesn’t do afterparties; that’s how he met you, mama 2018, an after party somewhere at someone’s house, not that he cared at the moment, he just wanted to get wasted. he met you, standing there, looking around and watching your members have the time of their lives when all you wanted to do was drink off your mood. jungkook saw right through you, feeling the same way he did as of currently, watching his older members laugh and make conversations with other idols.
now that he thinks about it, you both needed help, or didn’t need each other at the moment. he wanted it to work, knowing the consequences of two mentally unstable people in a relationship, he wanted to change you for the better. he didn’t want to change you completely, but the way you felt about life; how you would tell him that you didn’t see a future for yourself, that you just wanted to live but not actually live, but to disappear and not die. so he nods, agreeing in his head that everything happened between you two was for the better, staring wide at his shiny black shoes on the platform below them. he needs to stop thinking about things before he gets on stage, to perform in front of every idol possible to win an award tonight.
he sighs though, his thoughts were taking over his mind again about all the could ofs and would ofs, but he took deep breaths and turned to his older to make sure everything was fine, to get some sort of comfort through the others eyes.
hoseok, one of the older members of his group and the one he came to when you broke up with him, nods with a tight smile on his face, giving Jungkook that type of relief he needed; hoseok was there when you weren’t, he took care of him like the good person he is. Jungkook doesn’t blame you though, he would get away from him too. he doesn’t hate you either, he never will.
screams could be heard behind the sounds in his ears, the constant clicking to make sure he’s on beat. he needed to perform well he thought to himself. his habit of tapping his fingers against each other showing once again, a habit he told himself he would get rid of. again, looking at his hoseok, smiling at his older who looks born to be on the stage before letting the platform below his feet rise up to level with the stage.
the arena screams, the lights become dark as beams of blinding light shown down on the members, and it takes a minute for your eyes to register to realize its bangtan. your eyes searched, you didn’t want them to search but they did on their own. they landed right on him, Jungkook, the love of your life you would like to say.
sometimes you reach your phone to text him, to tell him this stupid idea you had for a song, or a photo of something that reminded you of him. you have to remind yourself everyday that you can’t check your messages, his good mornings won’t be there any longer. you have to keep remembering that you can’t just call him after practices to come pick you up because you hate the idea of being alone with your manager in the car. but then you realize, you ruined things.
you had this “perfect relationship”, you had everything you wanted, the person you wanted for so long before becoming an idol. but, you soon realized it was wrong, and you were both not well. especially you, not just him. the way you acting towards each other during the rough times when you should of been helping each other shows, you see other couples when they are sad and how they help each other, yet you couldn’t with him. you’ve never been super into comforting people, so seeing him the way he was, made you mad. it was an indescribable feeling that you can’t even explain, it felt like a competition against who feels the worst about their lives and who had it the hardest. so when one of you talked about your feelings, it would start an argument, one that led to sleeping in different rooms and one that led to not waking up to Jungkook’s cooking.
you hate thinking about it, but when you think of him, you don’t think of the good times. you think of how you made him cry, forgetting to tell him that you were the one who was hurting the worst, not that he was a mess or how you felt like you couldn’t take care of him . it just came out, heat of the moment you like to say, but you know you’re in the wrong, you know that you should of helped him when he physically couldn’t breathe without you comforting him in some sort of way.
“it’s like you can’t live without me,” you say, your feet killing you from a day event with your group, sitting down on the couch next to him while you rub the pain out of your feet, not realizing your words towards him.
“what does that mean?” he was already in tears, his voice shaking as his throat closing from crying and gasping, “i- i called you because i need help, ______, i don’t know-”
“Jungkook, you never let me in,” you sigh, staring back at the silent man, and that’s when you froze. you forgot your words, your mind going blank, the reason you were even there, “i mean, i want you to talk to me- i don’t even know what’s going on, how can i even help?” you kept spitting out worse comments, his poor heart couldn’t handle it, and you couldn’t handle it.
“i can’t explain it- i can’t breathe, i- i don’t know what’s going on-” you cut him off in a blink, pulling his head into your chest and tugging your fingers in his hair hoping for the best, just for his arms to wrap around you as his breathing becomes quicker, the sobs getting louder.
he didn’t know who else to call, knowing you both can’t be seen in public together, but he didn’t know how else to calm down.
“i’m here, Jungkook, i always will be, but i think we need to stop,”
he looks taller, slimmer, maybe more muscular? you think as you bite your lips hoping for it to bleed a little before you stop. you never liked watching him from a distance, it reminded you a bit of your childhood crushes which you hated the thought of those. you watched him sync with the other members smoothly and perfectly, his voice perfect as ever and hitting the notes perfectly to your ears. you smile, forgetting the memory you got, and watching him proudly.
he’s living without you, hopefully dealing with things with out you. you should be happy, right? you rub your sweaty palms on your blanket, the room felt like it was closing in on you, feeling as if him and you were the only people in the whole arena. you miss him, the way things used to be, the way you used to be, but things are different now. without even realizing the performance was over, you clap along with the others as the noise of palms smacking rings in your ears. you definitely miss him.
you should not be smiling right now, Jungkook thinks, now standing a little bit behind your group as you win the award you were nominated for. but you should, he should be happy that you guys got another win, with the song that gave you a headache everytime he mentioned how well it was going to be for your group. but you shouldn’t in his heart, not when he’s standing feet away from you, when you’re standing feet away from the one person you should be with and not distancing from.
Jungkook wonders, does your heart pound around him like his does? how it feels like it running around in circles like it’s winning a marathon, pounding practically out of his chest every time he breathes in, it hurts when he looks at you.
he wishes to know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling when your leader lets you hold the award as she performs her speech for the crowd. he wants to know how the award feels in your hands as you grip it tightly, maybe you feel his presence after all when his eyes dart to your hands shaking.
he told himself no more after parties, no more of you and events with you possibly being there. but you looked so pretty, he couldn’t help it. the way your makeup looked like it was your skin, the glitter in the corner of your eyes making them pop out more. he could just leave with yoongi whenever, knowing he wouldn’t want to be there for long anyways, he would rather be alone after such a long event.
did he miss you too? you thought, rubbing your thumb against the plastic cup in your tight grib, sipping on the drink as your members talk to another and other idols. you glance at him every now and then, not that you cared he was there. definitely not the reason why you were here, not hoping he would be here also.
you sigh in thought, he doesn’t even look like he wants to be here, and you know he doesn’t by the way his eyebrows furrow at a obvious drunk idol passing by and saying hello to him. you sighed again, loudly supposably as yerin glares at you.
“just go talk to him already,”
“talk? talk to who? i don’t know who you’re talking about,” you play it off as you were confused, you couldn’t let her know. it made her glare more deadly and more hard to ignore, you wanted to rip your hair our right about then.
“Jungkook, he’s been looking at you all night too, you know?”
“he has?” you quickly question, realizing she tricked you into saying who it is, kinda. “i mean, what are you talking about-”
“i know, ______, just go. i know how badly you want to make it up with him.” she knows, you glup hard as she tilts her head aggressively towards his figure. it’s not that you didn’t want to make it up to him, it that’s you felt like you couldn’t. you were so trapped in your own mind to find the motivation to help his needs and necessities in your relationship.
Jungkook tried to not look at you a lot, making sure the cup in his hand and the loud laughter around him was distracting him enough to take his eyes away from you. when he felt like something was off, he glanced at you, but when he did, you were gone.
knowing Jungkook, you purposely left and went outside, sitting and watching the stars glisten in your naked eye, the music booming loudly behind you. you knew he would come finding you soon, knowing something was wrong if you were gone away from your group for awhile. Jungkook knows you from the back of his palm, you were together for almost 5 years.
when Jungkook did, he finds you sitting right on the cold to touch balcony, your head already turnt to look at him. you find it crazy, how good he looks just standing there out of breath searching for you, in the flickering porch light. he was just standing there with his eyes widened of you waiting for him, yet he was always still pretty no matter the emotions displayed on his face.
his eyes follow yours, searching them to find the reason to your disappearance, all while you start to stand up and turn your whole body towards him before speaking. you weren’t planning anything, what you were going to say to him and how you were going to even look him in the eyes. you just had to stay strong, looking deeply into his as you spoke what was replaying on your mind.
“do you miss me like i miss you?”
“you have no idea, _____,”
the wind blowing harshly against your already prickled skin didn’t bother you, the cold night tingling goosebumps on your arms even with Jungkook’s jacket over your shoulders, giving you the slightest bit of warmth. you had no clue how you ended up here, the car ride being a daze and being in the closest you’ve been to Jungkook in months had you biting your tongue to see if things were actually happening.
‘do you want to talk?’
‘i always want to talk to you, Jungkook,’
‘let’s get you out of here then, yeah?’
the park was silently decided between the two of you, sitting on an empty bench as you watched the clouds blissfully cover the moon every other second. the silence that took over the two of you sat comfortably, but so uncomfortable at the same time that it was starting to hurt your airways. there’s so much to be said but you both haven’t spoken up since you’ve gotten there.
you sigh, it was hard to do, to see him again and all was amazing, you always missed him and hearing his voice, hearing the way he said your name. you were so in love with him that you couldn’t pull yourself away. you felt trapped, in a good way, but not in the way you needed at the moment. you just wanted him, but you felt like everything in your life now was dependent on him. you needed him, he knew you, he knew how to help you.
it sucked that you felt like you only ever needed him in your life, only trying for him, only doing good performing for him, only ever speaking to him, only surrounding yourself with him, he was everywhere. any time you needed Jungkook, he was always there, in some shape or form. speaking or not, he wanted to help you and be there for you, not realizing it wasn’t helping your unhappiness and depression but making you feel worse about how he had to take care of you like a baby. you were trying so hard to get better only to realize that you weren’t doing it for yourself, you were doing it for Jungkook. Jungkook and Jungkook only.
“i really think we should talk, Jungkook-”
“you know, i really miss hearing you talk. i don’t know how you’re doing but i would personally like to know,” it shocked you, he never usually wanted to talk about personal things or pressured you to talk about how you’re doing on top of everything he already knew. Jungkook knew that there was a reason he didn’t know much because that’s just how you are. he loves you, and looking at you right now feels so right in his heart. he knew for awhile that you were the one for him, he wasn’t going to lose you that easily.
“Jungkook, we can’t be doin-”
“i get it,” he waves you off, obviously on the verge of tears because you couldn’t handle speaking to him at all. you’ve done this many times, tried to remove him from your life completely. but you always manage to come back, saying things along the lines of ‘we can’t be doing this,’ or ‘we shouldn’t do this, Jungkook,’. he will always scared that you’ll actually never come back so he takes these talks very seriously.
“no, Jungkook, you don’t,” you sigh once again, youre never able to put what you want to say into words, they come out wrong or rude or not true. there was so much you wanted to say. how could you say it in the easiest but nicest way possible without sobbing? you don’t dare to look at him just yet because you know you’ll fold immediately and run back to him. but you stood your ground, turned your head towards him and made complete contact while you spoke, “we can’t keep doing this, talking when we miss each other. i’ll never get better- you’ll never get better if we keep this loop going on. i love you, Jungkook,” you reached for his face, wiping the tears that started pouring as soon as you looked at him, “you’re forever my number one, i’ll do anything for you even it’s letting you go so you can focus on yourself and your career, you know i’m not any better than you,”
at this point he knew he looked pathetic, sobbing in to your palms are you talked about how much you both needed this when all he felt like was that leaving you is the worst thing to ever happen to him, he felt like he was suffocating with the truth. you loved him, he should be happy, but why are you leaving? you’re leaving him once again just for him to go through the same process all over again. he would drink, party every weekend, over sleep, have bad practices and messing up everything with his dancing. you tear him apart, every damn time.
he was more mad than upset, what did you leaving have anything with him if you loved him? you don’t love him, he thought, his eyes now furrowing at you and slowly tearing his face away from your hands rubbing his face.
“Kook, i’m sorry it has to be this-” but all he can do is just snort, raising to walk away, drive away before he starts to kiss you to make you shut up about getting better. you are never fair, you knew that by the look in your eyes as if your heart just got shattered when all you keep doing is tear his heart apart. he wanted to roll his eyes, you didn’t care about his feelings until he started crying and begging for you to even talk to him.
“come back to me when you’re ready, this could easily be talked about and fixed but you never let me in, claiming i never let you in but here i am, bawling my eyes out to you because you can’t stop leaving me,” he started walking back towards you, his feet wide causing his things to spread your legs apart.
you gasped as he leaned low, leveling his face in front of yours, you felt like you couldn’t breathe when he goes to speak, “you can’t just keep coming back to me when you feel like it, either fix your shit or decide if you want to stay with my messy self. we both know you’re just as fucking messy.”
ouch.
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A/N: ouch is definitely the word for this chapter! reminder that this will have a happy ending i promise ( :c ) and this will definitely be a very slow slow burn. i had so much fun writing this and im so thankful for all the support you guys have been giving me, i really do think this series will do well and i really hope it will! reblogs are always more helpful than notes!
(COMMENT TO BE ON TAGLIST FOR NEXT CHAPTER OR WHOLE SERIES)
tags: @loumin908 @heartjiminie @yunholuv @cuntessaiii @parkinglot-nights @minsoa97kor
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ariestrxsh · 1 month
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.・✫・゜🚿・。.・✫・゜🚿・。.・✫
⚠️ content warning: ⚠️ smut, sneaking around, risky, oral, teasing, degradation, humiliation, edging, orgasm denial, shower sex, creampie, roughdom!matt, brattamer!matt, bratty!reader, enemies to lovers
📝 author's note: 📝 this is part of a series, and here are parts one, two, and three. it's not necessary to read the other parts, but it makes the story better and adds to the dynamic between the characters. 💖 there will be more parts to this.
✍️ Summary: ✍️ You and Matt continue sneaking around right under his brothers' noses despite the fact that the two of you hate each other.
.・✫・゜🚿・。.・✫・゜🚿・。.・✫
hatef--k part four
I threw my clothes and my vibrator into my big tote bag, along with a phone charger and some snacks from my pantry. I was still in shock that Matt had seen me packing my favorite sex toy and then relentlessly teased me with it. And the bastard didn't even let me cum.
I angrily stomped to his car and resentfully got into it. I could feel every bump as we drove over it, every vibration from the way the tires hit the pavement beneath us, and it was pure torture as I sat there, unfinished.
"You know, I should tell Nick your water is back on, and you lied to him," Matt broke the silence, clicking his tongue at me and shaking his head. "You won't," I called his bluff. "Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?" He narrowed his eyes. "Because you love it when I prance around your house half-naked and tease you until you can't take it anymore. You want me to stay with you guys longer," I told him, reading him like a book. He didn't say anything, but he shot a smile that confirmed my suspicion. All doms are the same. Most of their threats that don't benefit them are empty.
We pulled into the driveway, and as we walked into the house, Matt shut the door in my face again. I rolled my eyes, stopping it with my hand. I set my tote bag down next to the couch in the living room, and when Matt and I stepped into the kitchen, we were greeted by Chris who was home attempting to make pancakes, but instead of flipping them with a spatula, he was flipping them into the air and trying to catch them in the frying pan. "Chris! You're making breakfast for four people. We don't have pancakes to waste," Nick scolded him, pointing the spatula at him.
"Good to see you guys survived the night alone together. I thought, for sure, based on how pissed Matt was about you staying here, he was gonna choke you out or something," Chris joked, cracking open an egg into a bowl. "Yeah, he tried, but he was too much of a bitch to finish the job," I smirked at Matt.
"Do either of you want coffee?" Nick offered, holding up a french press. "Yes, please," Matt and I both responded in unison, but we both shot each other a glare, resenting the other for answering the same way. Nick poured us each a cup of coffee, and we all fixed our plates and sat around the kitchen table together. "You guys really are the nice ones. Thank you so much for making breakfast for us," I said. It was a compliment to Nick and Chris, but even more than that, it was a slight towards Matt. I was still very angry about the sex toy incident.
"Of course. Anytime. You're our guest," Nick replied. "So what did you guys do last night when you had the house to yourselves?" Chris said before taking a bite of his hashbrowns. Matt and I shot each other a glance. "I watched The Bachelorette," I told them, taking a sip of my coffee. "And I played video games in my room," Matt said without looking up from his food. "You mean, you guys sat on opposite sides of the house.. and ignored each other?" Nick questioned, looking skeptically at us. "I find that hard to believe because any time you two are in the same vicinity, you pick on each other," Nick said with an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, well when I went to shower.." I started to say, but then I stopped myself. Matt delivered a swift kick under the table and hit me in the shin. "Oh, just for that, I'm telling them," I looked towards Matt and then I turned to his brothers, "Matt thought it would be funny to take my towel amd hide it while I was showering." I took a sip of my coffee and looked back over at Matt, who was looking at me like he wanted to kill me. Please punish me for that one later, I silently begged him with my eyes.
"Matt! What the fuck?" Nick asked with a look of disgust. "Bro, that's weird," Chris shook his head. I secretly liked embarrassing Matt in front of his brothers and getting them both on my side. It was as harmless as Matt taking my towel and my clothes, right? "It's fine. He gave it right back to me," I told them, smiling and taking a bite of my eggs.
We continued to eat our breakfast, and once we were done, Chris volunteered Matt and me to clean up since he and Nick made breakfast. I was happy to oblige, considering the boys were being so kind and letting me stay with them, and Matt begrudgingly agreed. "Plus, it'll give you guys more alone time together, so you can hopefully overcome your differences," Nick chuckled. Little did he know, the only time Matt and I could ever overcome our differences was long enough to fuck each other's brains out. Chris and Nick both headed upstairs, leaving Matt and me in the kitchen by ourselves.
Matt immediately backed me up against the counter and got into my face. "You like making me look like a fucking perv in front of my brothers, huh?" He growled quietly next to my ear, while he started to take his hand and press it against my mound. "You are a perv," I shot back. "Yeah, but you fucking love it," Matt gruffly said, applying more pressure. I could feel the edge of the counter digging into my back as Matt fondled me. I could feel myself growing weak.
"Let's get these off of you, you little whore," Matt grumbled while he started to pull down my pants. I was still wet from the vibrator incident earlier. He picked me up by my waist and set me on the counter. I felt the cold, hard granite underneath me as he placed me. He looked up intently into my eyes as he got down onto his knees, wrapped his strong arms around my thighs, and held them apart further.
I watched in anticipation as he flattened his tongue and started tickling my clit with it. I tried to seem like I wasn't dying for it, but I couldn't keep my equanimity. My moans got away from me with every stroke of his remarkable tongue. His soft lips engulfed me, and he hummed against my favorite nerve endings while I watched his eyes roll back as he savored my taste. I secretly loved the way he ate pussy, like he wanted it, like he needed it. "Mmmm. You're such a naughty girl. You're loving this, aren't you?" He said, his lips vibrating against my sex. "Not as much as you," I joked. He started to gently nibble on my clit, and I started tugging on his hair. My legs locked around his head as he worked wonders with his mouth below my waist.
"You like it when I eat you while my brothers are upstairs? They could come down any minute and catch us," he muffled against my pussy. All I could do was nod and bite my lip as I tried to suppress the sounds I so desperately wanted to let loose. "Slut. I bet if Nick and Chris walked down here right now and saw what we were doing, you'd squirt all over my tongue, wouldn't you, used up little whore," he smirked. And he was right. The idea of being caught was enticing. I felt like I was at the edge of more than just the countertop, but before I could enjoy the sensation and fully sink into it, Matt was pulling away.
"No, no, no," I whined, gripping his locks of hair. "Please don't do this to me again," I begged him, chasing the feeling of his tongue, desperate for sweet release. He looked up at me, taunting me. "Not after you were such a bad girl for tattling on me to Nick and Chris," he grinned menacingly. His mouth glistened from nearly devouring me. "I'll do anything," I pleaded. "Yeah, anything but behave," he scolded me, bringing himself to his feet and wiping his face.
"You can finish cleaning the kitchen. I'm gonna go play video games," he replied, handing me back my pants. "The fuck I am. You're not gonna help me clean?" I angrily shot back. "No, and if you tell Nick or Chris that I didn't help you, I'll make sure they accidentally stumble upon your vibrator while you're here," Matt sneered. "Fuck you, asshole," I said under my breath as Matt was walking away. He immediately turned back around and brutally grabbed me by the neck. "Keep going and I won't let you cum tonight either," he snarled.
"And clean your pussy juice off the counter. People cook there," he said to me as he released me from his intense grip and disappeared out of the room. I quickly put my underwear and pants back on and finished cleaning the rest of the kitchen.
"So, how was cleaning the kitchen with Matt? Did you guys bond?" Nick sat down on the couch next to me several hours later while I was curled up scrolling on my phone. "Yeah, something like that," I blankly answered. "What's wrong? I can tell something is up with you," Nick replied. Oh, you know, Nick, your brother just keeps edging me and then ruining my climax. That's what's wrong. But of course, I couldn't say that, so I settled for a dramatic sigh and instead said, "You know, I'm just getting impatient with this whole water situation. You guys are really great for letting me stay here. I just can't help but feel like I'm intruding on your space."
"We want you here, silly. Even if your water weren't out, we'd probably still be hanging out with you," Nick reassured me. And it made me feel bad about lying in the first place. We sat next to eachother, laughing at memes until the sun started to set.
"It's getting late. I'm gonna start getting ready for bed," I relayed to Nick. We stood up and hugged each other. I thanked him again for his kindness, and he thanked me for my company. "By the way, I'm sleeping down here on the couch tonight. You can have my bed again," Nick offered. I couldn't let him. Not when I knew I'd be sneaking into Matt's room and falling asleep next to him anyway. "Nick, you're too sweet. But really, I think we should make Matt sleep down here and I can take his bed. Payback for him being a dick last night," I gave Nick a really sincere face. "That's a great idea actually," Nick's face lit up. "Don't worry, I'll tell him," I smiled.
I made my way to the bathroom with my towel, my clothes, and my vibrator. I started running the shower and once the water was hot enough to get in, I stood beneath the stream of warmth, vibrator in hand. Overcome by the incredible feeling of finally releasing pressure that had build up all day, I didn't even hear Matt come in until he was pulling back the curtain. My eyes shot open and I scrambled to shut off my toy.
"Awh. Trying to finish without me?" Matt chuckled, standing in front of me completely naked. "What are you doing?" I whispered to Matt, covering myself with the shower curtain. Bastard ruined my orgasm again. "I came to shower with you," he smiled. He got in and immediately pushed me up against the shower wall. "I think I've been keeping you waiting long enough," he gruffed into my ear as he propped my left leg onto the side of the tub.
He lined up his hardening cock with my entrance and inserted it in a brutal manner. I let out a small yelp as I felt him start violently bucking his hips. "Take my cock, you little whore," he rasped while my walls stretched around him. He grabbed onto my hair and yanked it hard while his cock grew to its full potential.
"Hey, sorry to bother you while you're showering, but did you see Matt anywhere before you got in?" Nick asked poking his head in through the bathroom door. "No, I didn't," I responded, biting my lip to hold back another satisfied sound and trying not to blow our little secret behind the shower curtain. "Have you noticed he's been acting strange lately?" Nick pondered out loud while Matt pounded into me from behind. "Stranger than normal? Kid's a freak," I snarked, and Matt started to fuck me harder for the jab I made at him to Nick, and he held his hand over my mouth to shut me up.
"Yeah, I've noticed he's been kind of distant from Chris and me, and he's been even meaner to you than normal. I just worry he may be going through something," Nick responded sounding worried. Oh, he's going through something alright, I thought to myself as Matt bottomed out in me, thrusting against my gspot with incredible force.
"If you see him, will you let him know I'm looking for him?" Nick asked, but while Nick said this Matt was whispering into my ear quietly enough for only me to hear, "Cum on my cock, you naughty fucking whore," while he released his hand from my mouth so I could respond to Nick. "Yes, Matt," I slipped up. My eyes widened when I realized my error. "Did you just call me Matt?" Nick inquired, chuckling. "Sorry, Nick. I mispoke," I held myself together long enough to correct my mistake.
Just then, Matt reached up and covered my mouth with his palm again, grabbing me even more roughly than before while we came in tandem, both our orgasms tearing through us silently. My eyes rolled back, and it took everything in my power to not scream Matt's name while I throbbed around him. Matt's cock twitched, depositing his seed inside of me while Nick stood in the doorway telling me to enjoy my shower and giving me shit for calling him the wrong name. When we heard the door shut and Nick leave, Matt chuckled and said, "You're so hot for finishing on my cock while Nick was in the room. You're such a naughty girl."
"You're hot for making me wait so long for that. By the way, Nick and I talked about it. I'm taking your room tonight. Have fun sleeping on the couch," you smirked back at him breathlessly while the two of you finished your shower.
taglist: @sturniolo-girl @st9niolos @theyluvme-2315 @luvs4matt @ribread03 @slutforsturnioloss @thepubeburgler @schlutt4matty @valkatriee @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @witchofthehour @alexisxena
part five posted here 💖
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cubffections · 6 months
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𑁥౿ 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 — isagi y.
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۫ ּ 𓂅⋆ cw. nsfw 18+ ! fem, sub! reader、profanity & dirty talkin'、pussydrunk! yoichi、use of nicknames、adult isagi & reader. revised reupload frm old acc ᵔᴗᵔ happy (belated) birthday yoichi 🧸 ❤︎‪
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"c'mon baby, you're better than this. move those hips." isagi grunted, fingers molding around at your hips like a starved man . .
his navy blue's sparkling at how adorable your ass looked all marked up, only to look further at how hungrily your pussy clinged to him. "fuck . . you were doing so well pretty, don't tell me that's ya got?" he taunted, his voice all hot and breathy as his hips rolled punishingly into your heat. yoichi’s head replaying every hushed moan and desperate whimpers that escaped those plush lips.
"haah, f—fuck.. yoichi, m’ trying . . !" you squeaked, genuinely struggling to keep up because how could you? he looked like a dream. his pretty midnight hair sticking to his forehead as he peered down at you with nothing but desire, not sure if it was the humidity of the shower or his mean glare that had you breathless. he was eyeing down at you as if you were pathetic for even suggesting helping him release his stress. it’s so unlike the sweet, considerate yoichi you were used to.
well, not that you minded.
infact, it was the last thing on your mind when yoichi was feverishly bullying his cock into your pussy. the force of his pelvis pounding at your hips made it as if he was using you as his personal fleshlight, made solely to milk his cock. his bruised lips peppering down your neck, latching his mouth at spots that he knew raised a reaction out of you. it was as if he was in a daze, caressing your neck and tilting your neck until his kisses trailed up onto your lips before he met you with a sloppy kiss. rewarding you for the way your pussy clamped around his cock at every thrust he gave, hugging him like you couldn't live without him balls deep into your sweet pussy.
“there we go . . shit, can't pull out if i wanted to, taking me so fucking well.” isagi whispered on top of your lips. “you're too good f'me . ." he praised, his punishing thrusts shifting to slow rocks of your hips back and forth on his cock. "ah. . yoi— ngh. . sso much . ." you slurred, reaching your climax for the second time. savored moans falling out your lips as you felt his thumb circling our clit, causing your eyebrows to scrunch and lower-half tense at the overstimulation. "yoichi . .”
"mhm ? talk to me baby . ." he panted, the shower's heat catching up to him— more drunk on your pussy than ever. he was going mad, you don't know how your pussy flutters on his dick right after you cum and it’s giving him a absolute rush. oh he's so sure, he can't hold back anymore, he was gonna blow a load soon, and shit— he's gna fuck his cum soo fucking deep in you. it was the only thought he had left as he pinched at your clit, the groans leaving his lips becoming more exasperated and whiny.
catching onto this desperation, your habit of spurring him on was screaming at you to push him even further. "w—wan' ur cum, need it so— so bad!" you mewled, looking back at him as you meet his thrusts. your words babbling when his speed picked up again, adoring the hungry way he dragged his cock in you.
"shit . . need my cum huh? how greedy.” isagi grinned, tilting your face to the mirror across the shower. “look at you, tryna make the number one striker a daddy."
face flushing at the sight of yourself as your embarrassment left as soon as your knees buckled at his words. "mhm, yes ! let me daddy . . i’ve been soo good, g. . gimme m’ reward.” you panted out, a pleased noise leaving you as he quickened his pace once more, bending himself over you as his hair tickled your neck as he whispered. “ your reward ‘s right here pup, don't let any of it waste okay?" he coaxed, placing a light kiss on top of your ear.
a mix of breathless moans left both of your lips as you felt him empty himself, ruining your spoiled cunt. hushed curses leaving him as bucked his hips a couple of times into you before a new ring of your cum formed around his dick, soft whispers of affection leaving him but barely able to be heard due to the pitter-patter of the water droplets decorating on the floor.
"yoichi, baby. ." you cooed first after catching your breath, laying back against his chest, eyes closed as you blindly switched the water to a colder temperature, hand crawling up to scratch at his head. "you with me. . ?"
wrapping his hands around your waist, head following at the tranquilizing feeling of your fingers after letting out a affirmative huff. "yeah . . mm i'm right here." isagi cooed back, pressing more tender kisses on your shoulder. "thanks angel, needed that." he cooed, massaging at your curves lovingly with adoration.
"mmhm . . anything for you . .”
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© CUBFFECTIONS.
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specialagentlokitty · 8 months
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Rick Grimes x reader - so perfect
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Hello👋👋 Rick fluff where he comes home and just sees reader hanging out with the kids. And he just stops and watches them, thinking how lucky he is to have her. Please and thank you. Love your work btw❤❤❤. - @hoodiepandaninja16 💜
Holding Judith in your arms, you looked at Carl as he threw a tennis ball against the side of the house, catching it in his hand to throw it again.
“Carl?”
He looked over, stopping what he was doing.
“If you keep throwing that at all wall, you’re gonna break a hole in it eventually.”
He chuckled a little, looking at the tennis ball.
“Sorry, guess I got lost thinking.”
“Hey, not me you need to be sorry too, that poor house has been getting beat on for at least an hour.”
He laughed again, walking over to you, letting you place a hand on his head, and he rested his head on your shoulder.
“What’s going on?” You asked quietly.
He sighed a little bit, offering you nothing more than just a shrug.
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just thinking about a lot of stuff you know? Sometimes it’s hard not to when it’s all you can do.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nah.”
You nodded, letting him move away from you and over to the front of the house where he sat down, so you did the same.
Placing Judith on the porch next to you, and Carl handed her his tennis ball.
“That’s fine, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you do you know I’ll listen.”
“Thanks (Y/N).”
You smiled at him, and you leant back on your hands, looking at the skies that were threatening to downpour at any moment.
It was still sunny, but the clouds were rolling in quickly, and given the thunder that was in the distance it would be here soon.
“Do you think dad will make it back before the storm hits?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“You really don’t lie don’t you? Could’ve at least tried to lie for me.” Carl mocked.
You laughed a little, grinning down at him.
“Nope, what’s the point. The truth will come out eventually, whether you want it to or not, by lying your just wasting your own time.”
“Do you think he’ll be alright?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Carl nodded his head, he believed you.
Judith rolled the ball and you caught it before it went down the steps, rolled it gently back over to you and she giggled.
She pushed it back, so you once again pushed it back.
“Can you go through my bag and find my deck of cards?” You asked.
“Yeah, why?” Carl asked back.
“We’re gonna be stuck inside soon, May as well find some way to pass the time.”
You did try to keep them outside for as long as possible, but when it started to rain you decided to bring them inside.
Carl was insistent that he wanted to wait by the gate, but you wouldn’t let him.
So, you all sat on the floor of the living room, music coming from the stereo that you had put on.
Judith sat in your lap, and you tried teaching Carl how to play poker.
“Seriously, how is this in any way helpful?”
“It’s not, it’s just fun as hell.”
He grinned a little at you.
“Dad’s gonna hate you trying to teach me this, you know that right?”
“I could teach you how to throw them.”
“Like throwing stars?”
You nodded and he immediately sat up.
“Hell yes.”
“Hey, language. I’m an adult you’re not, your dad will kick my ass if he finds out.”
“Our secret?” Carl grinned.
You hummed, thinking for a moment as you studied with narrowed eyes.
“I used to cheat at poker in Las Vegas and was was banned from returning.”
“What?”
“You tell your dad that I’ll tell him you swear when he’s not around.”
You held your hand out and Carl grinned, shaking your hand.
“Deal.”
You let go, and you picked up one of the play cards, looking at the apple you had set on the table not long before.
Aiming, you threw the card, it curved a little in the air but lodged itself into the apple.
“Holy shit…”
“Hey! Just because I said I wouldn’t tell doesn’t mean you can keep doing it!”
“Show me again.”
While Judith slept on the couch you taught Carl some of the tricks of the trade you had learnt over time.
Carl was pretty quick with picking some of them up, others not so much, but the card throwing was his new favourite.
You had ran out of apples to throw them at, so you went to throwing them into his hat instead.
“Where did you learn this?”
“I spent a lot of time in Vegas kid, you pick up a lot of things in a place like that.”
“Did you have a gambling problem or something?”
You rolled your eyes.
“No, I was a professional gambler. Well, fraudster I guess, we worked as a team, taking casinos for all they were worth, using all the tricks, same with street hustling.”
“So, just a petty criminal then.”
“Ouch, petty? I’ll have you know I was wanted in over half the states for this shit.”
“And… you’re with my dad, who’s a cop?”
“Yeah that crap doesn’t matter now, what’s he gonna do, arrest me?”
“Yeah you’ve got a point.”
You handed him a couple more cards, looking to Edith as she moved.
Getting up, you held your arms out to her and picked her up, holding her in one arm as you slapped the card Carl threw back at him.
“I’m going to feed her, you want anything?”
“Yeah, I’ll help.”
You guys made dinner, setting a plate aside for Rick, just in case he came back that night.
While Carl spent time with his sister you washed up and made your way back inside to see him dancing around the living room with her.
“You call that dancing?”
You laughed a little, and you swept Judith into your arms.
“First, it’s always gentlemanly to bow.”
You did a small bow, and he did the same thing, and then you held your palm out to him.
“Put your palm on mine.”
He did, and you began teaching him the steps to a simple dance you had learned a long time ago.
Because of the thunder, you didn’t hear the door opening, and Rick stood against doorway, crossing his arms as he watched the tree of you.
Judith was giggling each time you turned around.
“Where did you learn to dance like this?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I actually did drama when I was your age? Specialised in Shakespeare.”
“So… like a million years ago?”
“Ouch, okay, you know what Carl Grimes, I thought we were friends, but we’re not.”
He laughed, and you heard a laugh from behind you.
Both of you turned over and he walked over to his dad.
You walked over, handing Rick his daughter back and you smiled at him, gesturing to the kitchen.
“Food ready for you, just need to heat it up.”
“Thanks, I’ll get her to bed then I will.”
“I’ll heat it, you do what you have to do.” You smiled.
Rick went upstairs with Carl, and you went into the kitchen to heat up his dinner for him.
While he was up there he grabbed a shower, changing into some fresh clothes while you were setting his plate on the table.
He came back downstairs, and you were cleaning the kitchen, humming a little to yourself.
He sat down, his chin resting on his hand as he just watched you.
This whole time since the prison you had been with him, you had helped him, supported him, never questioning any of the choices he made.
You had complete faith in him, and here you were, looking after his children for him even though you didn’t have too.
After everything he had done, Rick wasn’t sure how he still had somebody like you.
He had no clue what he did to even deserve somebody like you.
Yet here you were, standing right in front of him, as if the whole world was perfect, and in that moment he could have sworn it was.
“Teach me that dance.”
You turned around, looking at him, then the food he hadn’t touched.
“Eat, then asked again.”
He chuckled, quickly eating his dinner, washing up after himself and he walked into the living room where you were sat.
“Now will you teach me the dance?”
You smiled, getting up.
“First, the gentleman thing to do is bow.”
You bowed, snd he copied you.
You held up your hand, and he placed his palm over yours.
Whatever move you made he did the same thing, his eyes locked with yours as you both slowly danced.
This was it, this was perfect, his eyes focused on yours, everything else seeming nothing but background noise.
Rick slowly moved his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and he smiled softly, warm eyes focused on yours.
He held a nervous breath as he watched you, and you smiled softly back, copying him
764 notes · View notes
recklesssturniolo · 9 months
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Still Hate Me? - C.S
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Chris version of hotel , enemies x lovers, dom!Chris , shortish (don’t hate me I’m sorry)
NSFW, leave if you’re a minor
My head snaps up as I hear the hotel room door open and slam shut, my eyebrows furrowing at the sight of Chris.
“Why the fuck are you in my room?” I growl.
“Your room? This is my room” He responds.
“No it’s actually not Nick texted me that this room is mine” I reply, shoving my phone in his face with Nick’s message displayed.
“Fuck me. Great looks like they put us in a room together” He says, rolling his eyes.
“No shot, this has to be a joke” I say, immediately texting Nick.
It’s silent as I impatiently wait for a text back from Nick, glaring at my phone once I see his response simply say “Sorry😚”
“What’d he say” Chris asks.
“Sorry with a kiss emoji. This is my living hell” I mumble.
Chris sighs before stating he was having a shower before bed. I take his absence as time to change into my pjs, getting comfortable underneath the blankets before he returns. Glancing up, my eyes widen slightly as I see him with just a towel wrapped around his waist, water droplets dripping onto his chest from his hair. I quickly look back down to my phone, not wanting him to catch me staring, but frustratingly noticing how attractive he looked.
He walks back into the bathroom and I shut my phone off and roll onto my side. Feeling the bed dip as he laid down.
“Stay as far away from me as possible” I say.
“Don’t have to tell me twice” He responds.
I close my eyes, but can’t help but picture how good Chris looked when he got out of the shower. Fuck sakes why was I still thinking about that?
Unaware of the time, I’m awoken by the noise of quiet moans and a grinding against my ass. Looking over my shoulder I see it’s Chris, seemingly asleep. I had to be dreaming there was no possible way Chris was having a wet dream and using me to get off.
“Chris!” I almost yell, shaking him.
“Jesus Christ what is your problem” He replies, his eyes half open.
“You’re literally grinding your dick against me and moaning” I tell him.
“I - what? You’re lying” He says.
“I’m positive you could just feel how hard your dick is and know I’m being serious” I respond.
“I uh, I’m sorry I didn’t even realize I was doing any of that” He mumbled, his voice quiet.
There wasn’t much use denying it turned me on, but my mind couldn’t figure out whether to act on it or not.
“Mm it’s fine. I kinda liked it” I replied, trying my best to act as if that was a normal statement.
“What?” He questioned.
I turn over, now facing him, only slightly able to see the outline of his face, “Said I liked it”
He places his hand on my cheek, his thumb toying with my bottom lip, “Yeah?”
I nod in response, noticing a smirk grow on his face before his lips smash against mine. Our tongues clashing against each others as I feel his hand slip underneath my shorts.
“Can I?” He asks through the kiss.
“Please” I mumble back.
His hand, almost torturously slow makes it way down to my heat. I whimper leaving my mouth as his thumb makes contact with my clit and he begins moving slow circles over it.
Moving his hand lower, I feel him smirk before mumbling, “By how wet you are you really must’ve liked that”
“Chris” I whine.
“What is it? Use your words” He says.
“More, I need more” I respond.
“Yeah? Sit on my face then” He tells me.
“What - are you serious?” I ask.
“Dead serious, get to it” He replies.
Not wasting anytime, I slip off my shorts and panties and allow him to position himself before I move so my pussy is above his lips.
“Don’t by shy, sit” He demands.
I lower myself onto his face, a gasp leaving my mouth as he licks up my pussy. His hand tightly gripping my ass as he sucked on my clit.
“I - fuck Chris feels so good” I moan.
“Tastes so fucking good” He mumbles back.
I whimper as his begins flicking his tongue against my clit, my hands gripping tighter onto the headboard as he did so. He flattens his tongue against me, tasting as much of me as he could.
“I need you” I whine.
He pulls away, “Need me to fuck you? Desperate for it aren’t you?”
“Yes Chris please” I whimper.
Without another word he flips me over and pulls my ass up towards him. I hear the sound of him shuffling around before his tip makes contact with my pussy. He teases me by sliding his dick up and down against my core.
“Stop teasing fuck” I moan out.
“You gonna be a good girl and take all of it?” He asks.
“My god yes just fuck me already” I respond.
With that, he slams himself into me, a loud moan leaving my lips. The pain of my pussy stretching to fit him mixed with the pleasure sucking the air out of my lungs.
“I - god you’re so big” I moan.
“Taking me well so well pretty girl” He groans.
He holds nothing back, his grip tightening on my waist as he slams into me. The groans falling from him mouth only making it better. Without warning he pulls out, an immediate gasp comes from me as he did.
“Chris what the fuck” I question.
“Ride me. I wanna see your tits bounce as you bounce on my dick” He says, once again flipping me over.
I begin positioning myself over him before he stops me.
“Shirt off” He demands.
I nod and do as he says, my need for him causing me to complete forget to remove my top.
“Good girl” He says once my tops off, his hands moving to play with my nipples causing my head to tilt back.
I align myself with his dick and lower myself onto him. A moan leaving my mouth as I fully say.
“So tight holy fuck” Chris groan, his hips thrusting upwards.
I begin bouncing myself on him, the slight ache in my legs being nothing compared to the euphoria spreading through my body. Chris’ hips thrust up to meet mine, syncing himself with my movements.
“I’m - fuck I’m gonna come” He groans, “Look so fucking good on top of me”
I say nothing but in response pick up my pace, my own climax growing within me, practically begging to be released.
“On 3 okay?” I moan.
“Fuck okay” Chris growls, his grip once against tight on my waist, his eyes not leaving my body for even a second.
Counting to three, I moan out as I come, my legs now shaking and my nails slightly scratching his torso. I watch as Chris throws his head back, his eyes clenching shut as he continuing matching my movements with his thrusts, soon coming to a slow, eventually stopping.
Both of our highs finishing, before I get off of him, he pulls me close and connects our lips again briefly before pulling away.
I lift myself off of him, a quiet whine falling from my lips as I did. Laying myself down beside him.
“I can’t believe that just fucking happened” I say.
“Don’t even try denying that you loved it” He responds.
“Wasn’t gonna, that felt beyond good” I reply.
“Still hate me?”
TAGLIST: @sturnphilia @thatonekid536 @loveesiren @daddyslilchickenfingers @christinarowie332 @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @lovingsturniolo @iwantmattsobad @secret-sturniolo @soursturniolo @knowingnothingnoel @mwah0mwah @urmyslxt @sturniolosreads @bernardenjoyer
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calliesmemes · 4 months
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EPIC: THE MUSICAL — ACT ONE
ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS featuring lyrics and dialogue pulled from EPIC: THE MUSICAL by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, a new concept album adapting the story of Homer’s Odyssey into a musical.
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CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
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❛ I know that I’m ready. ❜
❛ I don’t think that you’re ready. ❜
❛ Know that he will grow from a boy to an avenger. ❜
❛ I could raise him as my own. ❜
❛ Please don’t make me do this. ❜
❛ The blood on your hands is something you can’t lose — all you can choose is whose. ❜
❛ This is the will of the gods. ❜
❛ You’re as old as he was when I left for war. ❜
❛ Will these actions haunt my days? ❜
❛ Every man I’ve slain is the price I pay. ❜
❛ I would trade the world to see my son and wife. ❜
❛ When does a man become a monster? ❜
❛ When does a reason become the blame? ❜
❛ Six hundred men under my command. ❜
❛ The problem’s not the distance; it’s what lies in between. ❜
❛ My kingdom is waiting. ❜
❛ So Captain, what’s the plan? ❜
❛ Look! There, in the distance. I see an island. ❜
❛ I see a light that faintly glows. ❜
❛ Something feels off here. ❜
❛ I say we strike first; we don’t have time to waste. ❜
❛ We should try to find a way no one ends up dead. ❜
❛ You can relax, my friend. ❜
❛ I can tell that you’re getting nervous. ❜
❛ Is this how we are supposed to live? ❜
❛ Here we have a chance for some adjustment. ❜
❛ Give it a try, it's not that hard. ❜
❛ This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms. ❜
❛ Whatever we face, we'll be fine if we're leading from the heart. ❜
❛ Stay back, I'm warning you. ❜
❛ Kindness is brave. ❜
❛ Have you forgotten the lessons I taught you? ❜
❛ I see you changing from how I've designed you. ❜
❛ Have you forgotten your purpose? ❜
❛ My life has one mission. ❜
❛ We'll make a greater tomorrow. ❜
❛ Enlighten me, what's your name? ❜
❛ If you're looking for a mentor, I'll make sure your time's well spent. ❜
❛ If there's a problem, we'll have the answer. ❜
❛ I still intend to make sure you don't fall behind. ❜
❛ Don't forget that you're a warrior of a very special kind. ❜
❛ It’s almost too perfect, too good to be true. ❜
❛ Who are you? ❜
❛ We’re just travelers. We come in peace. ❜
❛ What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep? ❜
❛ Your life now is in my hands. ❜
❛ I’ll take from you like you took from me. ❜
❛ There’s been a misunderstanding. ❜
❛ Maybe you and I could make a deal. ❜
❛ I’m so glad we see eye to eye. ❜
❛ If we're defeated, they're good as dead. ❜
❛ No backup, no chance for support. ❜
❛ Our foe must be thwarted right here and now. ❜
❛ Show me how great is your will to survive. ❜
❛ Stand up and fight for your lives. ❜
❛ Defeat is not allowed. ❜
❛ We must live through this day, so fight! ❜
❛ You’ve hurt me enough. ❜
❛ You won’t live through this day. ❜
❛ We must move quickly, we don't have much time. ❜
❛ But captain, what'll we do with our fallen friends? ❜
❛ We are not to let them die in vain. ❜
❛ Our comrades will not die in vain. ❜
❛ Mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use. ❜
❛ The blood we shed, it never dries. ❜
❛ I am neither man nor mythical. ❜
❛ You're a warrior meant to lead the rest. ❜
❛ That's just like you, why should I be surprised? Selfish and prideful and vain. ❜
❛ Every time someone dies I'm the one who is left to deal with the strain. ❜
❛ This way, you won't plague my life. ❜
❛ What a waste of effort spent. ❜
❛ At least I know what I'm fighting for. ❜
❛ Since you claim you're so much wiser, why’s your life spent all alone? ❜
❛ This day, you lost it all. ❜
❛ Is it nature or divine or a blessing in disguise? ❜
❛ Our home's in sight. ❜
❛ Brace for a storm, the likes of which we’ve never seen before. ❜
❛ I'll ensure that we prevail. ❜
❛ We're taking too much damage to survive. ❜
❛ At this rate, we won't make it out alive. ❜
❛ Please don't tell me you're about to do what I think you'll do. ❜
❛ You've heard the legends; this proves they're true. ❜
❛ Don't forget how dangerous the gods are. ❜
❛ How much longer til your luck runs out? ❜
❛ I still believe in goodness. ❜
❛ I just don't wanna see another life end. ❜
❛ You're like the brother I could never do without. ❜
❛ Don’t forget how much we’ve already faced. ❜
❛ I need to talk to you in private. ❜
❛ I can't have you planting seeds of doubt. ❜
❛ I ask for your assistance so we at last can go the distance. ❜
❛ Sounds too easy, what's the catch? ❜
❛ Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. ❜
❛ The end always justifies the means. ❜
❛ Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. ❜
❛ Time for me to be the father I never was. ❜
❛ Why are my eyes and my heart and my soul so heavy? ❜
❛ It isn't very often that I get pissed off. ❜
❛ I'm left without a choice. ❜
❛ I’ve gotta make you bleed. ❜
❛ I need to see you drown. ❜
❛ Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves. ❜
❛ You are far too nice. ❜
❛ I've got no mercy left to give. ❜
❛ The line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible. ❜
❛ I am your darkest moment. ❜
❛ What have you done? ❜
❛ Any last words? ❜
❛ There's only so much left we can endure. ❜
❛ I'm not a player, I'm a puppeteer. ❜
❛ I can’t sleep now knowing everything we've done. ❜
❛ I must say what a brilliant speech you gave. ❜
❛ I don't know who you are nor why you're here. ❜
❛ One wrong move, then you're done for. ❜
❛ All I hear are screams, every time I dare to close my eyes. ❜
❛ I no longer dream, only nightmares of those who've died. ❜
❛ I am the prophet with the answers you seek. ❜
❛ I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you. ❜
❛ How has everything been turned against us? ❜
❛ How did suffering become so endless? ❜
❛ Do I need to change? ❜
❛ What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along? ❜
❛ If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away — would that make us stronger? ❜
❛ I must become the monster. ❜
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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·゚misa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (3/-)
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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.
or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous
fic: see my masterlist 🤍
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yourusername: desperately trying to disappear ✌️ Liked by alexiaputellas, albaps9, bff3 and 638 others
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Direct Messages
bff1 now that's a waste of a good drink bff1 but i'll make you a better one and then we can cry and watch your favourite movie and bake cookies or play cards. tell me when and i'll be there 😘 liked by yourusername
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bff2 ❤️💔 bff2 Keep holding on, and don't forget you have us! We're only a phone call away. Shout and we'll come. liked by yourusername
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alexiaputellas You deserve el todo mundo 😘 alexiaputellas Can we come over, laelia? Alba, mami and I? Seen alexiaputellas Yn? Delivered
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albaps9 don't let that shit have this much power over you again, please hermanita ): albaps9 and if she contacts you again, you tell me, okay? albaps9 pls think about yourself. don't let her words get to you. i know you've been talking to someone new lately. don't throw away something that could be beautiful just because of past experiences. albaps9 if you want me to stay with you again for another few days, i'm there within the hour albaps9 answer your phone or i'm coming over albaps9 nvm, coming over anyway with mama and ale. albaps9 we love you, okay? albaps9 and maybe you're the toughest putellas after all albaps9 ❤️ Seen
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↳ 1min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 56secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 44secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 10secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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marisabel_rguez: Friends and football, the two best distractions 😁 Liked by leilaouahabi, jennihermoso, alexiaputellas and 18,993 others
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leilaouahabi Oh, so I'm a distraction now? How kind 🤪 ↳ marisabel_rguez Only the best! ↳ leilaouahabi I'll take that compliment. So are you.
jennihermoso Big win, good times 👏💓 ↳ marisabel_rguez 😁🤟
alexiaputellas 😎 liked by marisabel_rguez
haleyraso Aha! So that's why your game has been off lately! 😂😇 ↳ haleyraso Kidding ❤️ liked by marisabel_rguez
sofie.svava Princess!! (the strongest I know) 😇 liked by marisabel_rguez
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tagged: yourusername bff3: Proud of this little one. She's taking life by the horns and showing it who's boss. Liked by alexiaputellas, bff2 and 347 others
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yourusername i love you. all the days serving douchebag drunk tourists and living off tips was so worth it bc it brought you into my life. ↳ bff1 into OUR lives 🥹🥹 ↳ bff3 Even worth serving Arrogant Alex for every weekend for four months? ↳ yourusername omg i'd nearly forgotten about him!!! yikes, but yes. all worth it. ↳ bff3 You forgot Arrogant Alex but not Silly Sander? But same ❣️ ↳ bff2 Even I remember him 😂 ↳ bff1 'you'd never have to work in this lousy shithole if you were mine' ↳ bff3 Then proceeded to visit said lousy shithole every following weekend. ↳ bff2 Capturing hearts since 1998 and 1993💋
alexiaputellas 😍
bff1 you're doing great sweetie xoxo
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tagged: yourusername bff1: claimed this one the second i walked into kindergarten one unsuspecting morning and she, the NEW GIRL, had the audacity to be playing with my favourite plushies. never looked back since. thank you, universe. Liked by albaps9, alexiaputellas, bff2 and 508 others
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bff3 Adorable!!
albaps9 she always cried at home before going, then cried when she had to go home after she met you jajaja ↳ bff1 i have that effect 😇 ↳ albps9 i still think you're the reason she's no longer shy and innocent 😡 ↳ bff1 you're so welcome!
bff2 My favourite chaotic girls! 🤗
alexiaputellas Go back to being this little @/yourusername 😔 liked by yourusername
yourusername going from sharing plushies to sharing the best moments of my life! ↳ bff2 For a second I was worried you were going to say undies 😭 ↳ bff1 won't fit, my butt's bigger than hers ↳ yourusername no way!! ↳ bff1 to the undies or the butt? ↳ yourusername yes 👼 ↳ bff1 yes to what?? liked by yourusername
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tagged: yourusername bff2: Watch out world, she’s coming for you. Now stronger than ever! ❤️ Liked by marisabel_rguez, bff3, albaps9 and 123 others
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yourusername ❤️ ↳ bff2 ❤️ ↳ bff3 ❤️ ↳ bff1 ❤️
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marisabel_rguez: Going to make Sevilla unsafe 😛 Liked by sofie.svava, frejaolofssonn, marialeonn16 and 12,493 others
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sofie.svava and unsafe we made it! ↳ marisabel_rguez 😉
carolinemoller_ My bank account is still weeping 🤪
atheeneeaa_10 Girls! 💜
username1 i miss yn in here liked by 12 others
claudia.zornoza 😍
carolineweir95 Missing you all!
username2 Is it me or is misa really inactive lately, she's changed ↳ username3 Not just you ): ↳ username2 And her game has been so off lately, ngl
haleyraso You better return to us all smiley again after this trip!!! 😤
frejaolofssonn hey who's that one in the back? she's looking goooood. liked by marisabel_rguez
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yourusername: i guess i'm back. (well, i'll try to stick around) Liked by marialeonn16, alexiaputellas, esmeebrugts and 3,489 others
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username1 we missed you!!!!!!
ingridengen ig's not the same without our princesa 🤩
username2 Hello againnnn
bff1 two/three whole months? without posting? record. but i missed you. ↳ yourusername i missed me too ☹️ ↳ bff1 😘
ona.battle Now we had you all to ourselves for a little while 😝 ↳ salmaparalluelo whoop whoop 🙌 liked by yourusername
albaps9 eyes on the road, chica, or have you forgotten when you messed up your foot while biking to school??? liked by alexiaputellas ↳ alexiaputellas The one day she had to go alone and boom 😆 ↳ yourusername so nice to see you making fun of my messed up and bloodied foot. it really hurt and i was alone and panicking and had to bike back home in pain 😔 ↳ ablaps9 i mean, i'm sorry for laughing but WHO the hell wears chanclas while biking? WHO?! a safety hazard!! ↳ alexiaputellas An eight year old 🤷‍♀️ ↳ yourusername they were my favourite pair of havaianas, i wanted to look cute 😞 ↳ albaps9 mom was right to whoop your ass with them later ↳ alexiaputellas At least now you have a cool scar 😎
bff3 Good to have you back, babe! Ps, you left your sweatshirt at our place. ❤️ ↳ yourusername keep it company for me until tuesday <3 ↳ bff1 just don't go and cook a curry with it on, like last time ↳ bff3 If you hadn't turned the stove higher behind my back, none of it would've splattered! ↳ bff1 didn't want it to take an hour longer. i was hungry. ↳ bff3 Well, not going to wear it while cooking. It's the green adidas one, btw, your favourite, so I wouldn't dare. ↳ yourusername ahh. well, i think green's your colour anyway, keep it 😘
username3 Welcome back 👋
username4 FINALLY
username5 now misa has to come back too 🤞 ↳ username4 Here's to hoping this post will do just that
username4 no more misa/yn interactions? this girlie is very sad ↳ username1 Don't think that's happening anymore 😪 ↳ username5 yeah, between the radio silence, stories and off-behaviour, i don't think so either ↳ username3 well, that doesn't have to be bc of misa? ↳ username6 no u-haul? 😢 ↳ username1 No U-haul.
begovargas Loved spending time with you. We should do it again soon 😌 ↳ yourusername I'm so down!! Miss you already! 🫶
marialeonn16 Did you eat any more good pasta by any chance? ↳ yourusername YES, and also discovered this new cute restaurant. i'll text you the place. liked by ingridengen
janafernandez3 Hey chica 😻 liked by yourusername
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↳49min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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5min ago: marisabel_rguez just added to their close friends story ↳ This story is no longer available
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Direct Messages
yourusername hey ↳ marisabel_rguez Hey
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a/n to anyone reading this, i hope you have a lovely day. 🌼🥰
298 notes · View notes
nykuna · 3 months
Text
REFLECTIONS
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pairing : gojo satoru x fem reader
cw : angst, hurt and comfort, breakup
synopsis : After dumping you by message about a week ago, you received a surprising message from Satoru telling you to come to his house in the middle of the night. He wants to talk.
jjk alternate universe : no jujutsu sorcerers, everyone is human
disclaimer : This is a spinoff from my fanfiction : the irony of fate (sukuna x reader).
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Satoru sighed and leaned back on his bed, waiting impatiently for you to arrive. He had texted you, saying there was something important he needed to talk about...and that it couldn’t wait till morning.
“Damn…hope she comes soon…”
~
Lying in bed, he stared blankly at the ceiling. He hadn't received a reply from you, and he'd been waiting for you for a few hours now. He presses his hand to his forehead, wondering why he thought you'd come. Deep down, everyone around him eventually tires of him when he shows himself to be vulnerable, he felt foolish for having thought it would be different this time.
He needed to get some fresh air; he'd never allowed himself to be carried away by his emotions since he was a child, however hard they were to bear.
He headed for the bathroom, determined to go out for a drive and try as best he could to take his mind off things. He let himself be submerged in the almost boiling water, as if he wanted to drown all thoughts that were detracting from his fun-loving image.
But tonight, it was just too much to bear. What he felt for you was truly powerful and unknown to him, and he blamed himself for ruining it for his stupid responsibilities. A tear escaped his eyes, mingling with the scalding water of the shower, fortunately no one saw him like this.
Lost in thought, he was startled by the sound of a notification on his phone as he stepped out of the shower in a hurry, hoping to see your name on the screen.
Instead, it was Sukuna's. Damn.
[kuna] : They’re here.
Oh, what an emotional elevator. Without wasting a single second, he quickly wrapped a towel around his waist, still soaking wet, and rushed downstairs.
From the top of the stairs, he couldn't help but crack a smile, seeing you there on the doorstep, lit only by the pale light of the moon. You looked magnificent, he thought.
Doing his best to maintain his self-assured facade, he joined you and your friend in the living room.
"You could at least have put on a tshirt, don't you think?" Her friend says with a disgusted laugh, you says nothing.
"I wanted to impress y/n but obviously I failed...I'm glad you guys came!" He said cheerfully.
"Why did you want us to come anyway?" You ask, trying to be indifferent but it's no easy task facing Satoru.
"Well, I wanted to talk, I really want to clear things up y/n." He said, sounding much more serious.
"So...What am I doing here?" Her friend asks, a little embarrassed.
"I told Sukuna I was inviting y/n, and he told me to invite you to hang out." Satoru replies simply.
"That's not weird at all..." You says mockingly.
"And how are we supposed to hang out if he...isn't here?" She asks, confused.
"Don't worry, he's changing. Y/n, shall we go upstairs?" Satoru asks, holding out his hand to you.
Your eyes widen slightly and your cheeks turn a light shade of red as you watches Satoru approach you, wearing nothing but a towel. You swallow yet again and looks down at his hand for a moment before taking it and allowing him to lead you upstairs.
You settle on his bed, while he quickly went to the bathroom to put on a simple white teeshirt and the most basic gray jogging pants. His hair was streaming down his forehead, but he couldn't care less, he had no time to lose.
As you settled comfortably onto his bed, you couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable with the entire situation. Why had he brought you here in the middle of the night?
You waited for him to return and your eyes widened once again when he emerged from the bathroom with his hair damp and hanging in front of his eyes. Seeing him dressed so casually, you couldn't help but find him extremely attractive.
"Why did you want to see me?" You ask, doing your best to hide the red that was rising to your cheeks.
He walks over and sits down next to you, a serious expression on his face. He ran a hand through his damp hair, pushing it out of his face as he spoke.
"There's something I wanted to talk to you about." He said, staring at the floor, avoiding your gaze.
"Does it have anything to do with how you dumped me like shit and then acted like nothing happened at your party?" You asked, your tone snarling. You felt tears welling up in your eyes just thinking about it, but you couldn't cry just yet.
Satoru froze, his eyes widening slightly as he heard the harshness in your tone. He knew that you would be mad at him, but he didn’t know you would be THIS mad. He knew he deserved it though.
"Yeah...it does."
He said quietly, finally looking up at you and meeting your gaze. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest as he saw the sadness in your eyes.
"I...I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I didn’t really had a choice."
"And why is that? I'm sure you could have done it differently, couldn't you?" You raise your voice, surely carried away by frustration.
Satoru gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, feeling a sense of shame and guilt wash over him. You were right, he could have done it differently. He could have been kinder.
"I know, okay? I know I could have done it differently. But...but I didn't..."
He said, his voice quiet. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking again.
"Look, you have to understand that my life isn't normal. I have obligations and responsibilities that you can't understand."
"Oh that's right I can't understand shit, maybe if one day you explained it to me I could understand." You hissed. "If you have so much responsibility, why did you let me fall for you...it's just…really cruel."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. He hated seeing you like this.
"You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to fall for you, to lead you on when I know I can’t give you what you need? It was never supposed to go this far. But I couldn’t help it. You were just so...perfect."
He said, looking at you with a hint of pain in his eyes. He felt like he had hurt you way too much, and it killed him inside.
You didn't say anything for a while, you hadn't seen it that way, but it didn't matter. You'd fallen in love, and now you were being thrown out like an old sock.
Satoru sat quietly, watching you as you processed what he had said. He could see the pain and hurt in your eyes, and it made his chest ache. He felt like he had been such an idiot.
"Look, the reason I brought you here tonight is...well, I just..."
He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. He wanted to tell you how he had been feeling these past few days, how he had missed you like crazy. But he didn’t know how to say it without hurting you further.
"Hmm?" You said in a low voice, your eyes riveted to the ground.
He took a deep breath, gathering his courage to speak.
"I've been thinking...about everything. About us. About how I ended things."
He paused, staring intently at you. He wanted you to look at him, to see the sincerity in his eyes.
"And...I miss you. I miss you so damn much. Spending time with you, talking with you, kissing you..."
He took your silence as a sign to continue.
Your eyes finally met his, and you lost yourself in his magnificent bluish irises, but you knew that deep down, you were doomed.
"But..." you huffed, anticipating what was coming next.
Satoru saw the hurt and uncertainty in your eyes, and his heart ached. He hated what he was about to say, but he knew he had to be honest with you. There was no other way.
"But I can't give you what you need. I can't give you normalcy. I can't give you stability. My life...my job...they won't allow it." He said, his voice quiet and filled with regret.
"For fuck’s sake do you think I'm a fucking child to need so much stability? I'm tougher than I look, and a couple of boxing matches aren't going to intimidate me." You scream, letting tears overwhelm you.
His eyes widen as he sees your tears, and his heart breaks for hurting you so much.
"I know you can handle yourself. I know you're stronger than you look, and that's what I...I like about you. But it's not just about that, it's..."
He trailed off, struggling to find the right words. He wanted to tell you the truth, everything about him that he kept hidden, but he was scared of your reaction.
"Just get to the damn point." You snapped at him.
He winced at your tone, but he knew he deserved it. He took a deep breath and gathered all his courage before speaking up.
"Y/n...there's just so much you don't know about me. About my life. And it's something I can never tell you. It's a secret that could endanger you and everything I care about."
He paused, gauging your reaction.
"You know, maybe if you put your trust in someone someday, it might really make you feel better." you sigh as you stand up. "I really wish you could have confided in me, but too bad, I must have gotten the wrong idea." You say as you head for the door.
Satoru's heart sinks as he watches you stand up and head out. He reaches out to grab your wrist, gripping it gently.
"Y/n, wait..." He was desperate, he couldn't let you leave like this.
"What now?!" You exclaim as you turns back to him, trying to free yourself from his grip.
He doesn't let go of your wrist, instead pulling you back towards him so you’re standing directly in front of him.
"Please...don't go. Just...stay here with me, okay? Just for tonight..." He pleaded, his expression filled with a mix of desperation and vulnerability.
As if waking from a bad dream, you took a moment to observe Satoru, it was the first time you'd seen him so vulnerable, and you couldn't help but feel genuinely worried.
Satoru’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the concern in your eyes. He had never shown this side of himself to anyone before, and seeing you worry for him made his chest ache.
"I'll stay. I'll stay with you tonight." You say quietly, your voice filled with a mixture of relief and nervousness.
Satoru felt a weight lift off his shoulders as you agreed to stay. He took a step closer to you, his eyes fixed on yours as he spoke again.
"Thank you y/n, sincerely."
He gently guided you back to the edge of the bed, sitting down next to you but keeping a slight distance between the both of you.
"I wish everything could have been different." You said as you collapsed into bed, your gaze blank.
His heart ached as he watched you, seeing the sadness and exhaustion etched on your face. He longed to pull you into his arms and comfort you, but he knew he had no right to do so anymore.
"I wish it could have been different too." He said softly, his own expression mirroring your own sadness.
"Can you take me in your arms one last time? Because even though I'd prefer it to be different, I would never ask you to change." You say simply, planting your gaze in Satoru's.
His breath hitched in his throat as you asked him to hold you. His heart wanted to say yes, to pull you into his arms and hold you close, but his mind screamed at him to push you away.
But looking into your eyes, seeing the sadness and vulnerability in them, he knew he couldn't deny your request.
"Are you sure? I...I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"The damage has already been done, what we had is precious to me, I don't want it to end in tears and screams." You whisper.
His chest tightens with guilt as he hears your words. He knows he has hurt you, and there is no denying that fact.
He hesitates for a moment, his mind and heart at war with each other, before finally giving in to his heart.
"Come here." He said softly, holding out his arms to you.
You snuggle into his arms. And your eyes seek out Satoru's piercing blue gaze.
Satoru's arms instinctively wrap around you, holding you close to him. He feels a sense of comfort and warmth wash over him as you nuzzle into his chest, and it takes all his self-control not to bury his face in your hair and hold you even tighter.
He looks down at you, his eyes locking with yours. He wonders if this is the last time he'll ever have you in his arms like this, and the thought makes him feel suddenly and unexpectedly vulnerable.
You were too close to the stars, he never knew somebody like you, somebody falling just as hard.
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If you enjoyed this one-shot or want more context, here's the link to the full fanfiction!
With love, Nyc <3
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hi, so remember that one odile looping au where she was instead in sasasap? yeah, I thought more about it. There's some writing accompanying the art under the cut~! (though uh, warning of. self-harm implications at the end?? our dear odile is Not Doing Well!)
It's been a good few loops since you'd been in the House with the rest of the group. After an... event you're not going to think about, you'd spent a good amount of loops going through the Dormont library, reading through any and all books you could get your hands on.
(No familytales, which you feel bitter about. You're stuck in this hollowed out state, not allowed to progress further, but not allowed to end, and you can't even have that. You came here to try and connect with a part of your own heritage that was taken from you, tried to learn more, to hope that maybe you'd find some sense of belonging that you'd been missing. And now… Now, you're barely even living. Barely even-)
…Returning to your original train of thought, it's been a while since you made your way through the House. You hadn't seen much point in it, to be quite honest. It's not like you can beat the King.
(After all, you've tried so many times already, and nothing you did worked. Not trying to hone your skills through fighting the sadnesses scattered around the House, not through a thorough inspection of all the rooms, not through trying to outsmart the King, nothing you did worked. There's that one attack, just that one attack that the King uses, and maybe if you'd just be able to avoid it you'd be able to defeat him-)
(But you've tried. You've tried, and he always uses it, always kills you before you can even tell the Child to run. You should have never let yourself agree to bring them with you, but you can't bring yourself to try and spare them of this now. They're a part of your group, and you promised that they could come, and you don't want to disappoint them, even if you can't even beat the King, even if the first time around, the Chosen was-)
You take a deep breath. You are not facing the King this loop, you will not see it, so it doesn't matter.
(You don't know whether he kills the Chosen so brutally when you're not around. After all, in the last loop you faced him, he hadn't wasted waste any time in dispatching you at all.)
(…You're unwilling to find out how things play out when you're not there, but for her sake, you hope it's quick.)
(And it's not like it matters, when you're the only one to remember.)
(…The only one. The only one. The only one the only one the only one gems who even are you at this point something jagged and pulverized to small bits until everything feels like a blur and you can barely hold your thoughts together you don't want to be here please someone anyone get you out of this hell you don't want to see them die again you-)
You hold back a sigh. Annoying. All these thoughts and feelings are so annoying. There's something else you should be focusing on. After all, there's a reason you neglected to wrestle the lead from the Trapfinder, letting yourself trail behind the Chosen. A reason you hadn't pushed, hadn't reached for the control of deciding where to go (even if it caused the Trapfinder to feel useless, even if it made them feel unneeded, you couldn't bring yourself to care, to regret, not when you were losing your mind having to see them examine the exact same rooms, the exact same things every time like clockwork, not when you knew exactly where to go to progress and had specific things you wanted to check-) There's a reason.
After all, you know that, even without your input, the Trapfinder will find the way through the House. You can trust them to do that, at least.
This, in turn, gives you time to think. And you need that. Because for this loop? You're planning to go to the House library for the first time.
And you have to figure out a way to get your group to let you do that. Because, despite everything, you still care what they think of you on some level. You don't want them to worry about you. To know that you couldn't figure this out. To-
You do.
So you wonder. Because, you'd heard them talking about you on the way up to the House. You may not care to bother with trying to decipher what exactly they're planning to do, how much they've figured out, but you're sure they've noticed how off you're acting. And you don't think they'd allow you to stay by yourself in the library, not without having a Talk, and that's not something you can afford to have.
The Trapfinder runs into another sadness, and you don't even notice until a stray scissors attack cuts into your side. The Chosen quickly heals you, sending you a worried glance as she does so, but you don't pay it any attention because…
You think you just found your way through.
(You wonder how badly you'll have to injure yourself so they let you stay behind.)
(It's not like it'll last anyways.)
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goodnightmemes · 24 days
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)
episodes: s01e05 - s01e07
❛ I'm trying to think of something more fucked up than this. ❜
❛ Stay out of my head. ❜
❛ I care for him more than he cares for himself. ❜
❛ A whole lot of concern's been wasted on you these past months. ❜
❛ Where are the bodies? ❜
❛ Well, then, I guess you better hope and pray you taught me how to clean up good. ❜
❛ You gonna let him do this to me? ❜
❛I'm never gonna forget what happened here. I hate you both. ❜
❛ Sounds like there's a maniac on the loose. ❜
❛ So much wine in his blood. And beer and whisky. ❜
❛ Happy? We were not happy. ❜
❛ Who am I supposed to love? ❜
❛ Why can't I make one? No matter how much blood I give them, they just lie there gaspin'. ❜
❛ What is this? Look at me. What have you done? ❜
❛ If you could find them, which you won't, they would shred you to strips, because you are built like a bird - because you are a mistake. ❜
❛ He treats us like shit and you take it! Why is that? ❜
❛ Been following you. You ain't been your careful self. ❜
❛ Don't... Don't run off. ❜
❛ Poor dear. She wasn't held enough in between ritualistic murders. ❜
❛ Once you put it out there, they decide what it is. It can get away from you. ❜
❛ Assume we are under suspicion. ❜
❛ We should leave the city, start anew. ❜
❛ Should I do like you instead? Read the first pages of every book, pass myself off as cultured? ❜
❛ You draw me into your gloom. ❜
❛ So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good. ❜
❛ If what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true. ❜
❛ The vampires out there are vicious. Oh...but you've learned that already. ❜
❛ Come with me!  I thought I could live without you, but I was wrong. ❜
❛ His love is a small box he keeps you in. Don't stay in it. ❜
❛ I fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed you. ❜
❛ Let him go. It's me you want. ❜
❛ Listen to me, and listen very carefully, my infant death. It was never you. ❜
❛ I have patiently waited in vain for you to love me... as I love you. ❜
❛ Just say it. Say, "I am never going to love you". It would help me a great deal to hear that from your lips...your quivering...hateful lips. ❜
❛ Excruciating pain was the proof I was still alive. ❜
❛ You know he's a vampire, right? ❜
❛ NDAs signed by any and all who cross the threshold, eh? ❜
❛ Are you still dreaming about our first meeting? ❜
❛ Are we the sum of our worst moments? Can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others ourselves? ❜
❛ You gonna be my knight in vengeful black? ❜
❛ Save your charity for the needful. ❜
❛ I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I'm nothing without you. ❜
❛ If you want me to go away, just say so. I'll obey you. I'll leave your life forever. ❜
❛ This silence is cruel. And you were never cruel. ❜
❛ Write me a song and put your lover's voice on it? What the fuck is wrong with your head? ❜
❛ Put some clothes on and get the fuck out. ❜
❛ The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent. Lover, murderer, maker. ❜
❛ It's a bond that can never fully be severed. A bond like that makes you believe there are only two of you on the planet. ❜
❛ I cried. I called to God. I didn't want this. But I have a capacity for enduring. ❜
❛ We leave the damage so we never forget the damage. ❜
❛ She's grown very protective of me. ❜
❛ I ask these questions because I'm trying to understand you better. ❜
❛ I'm sorry for your losses. ❜
❛ I admire your steadfast pursuit of a game you clearly have no acumen for. ❜
❛ You're ugly when you act like that. ❜
❛ They don't appreciate you like I do. ❜
❛ You're like me. You like to laugh. ❜
❛ Well, now that I'm dead, I can be whoever I want. ❜
❛ I seek refuge from complaints when I visit you, dear. ❜
❛ He's the father of lies. ❜
❛ This life, it does a number on the head, on the soul... if we even have a soul. ❜
❛ When he hurts you again, and he will, come find me. ❜
❛ You don't need me. You think you do, but you don't. You're smarter now. You see trouble coming a mile away. ❜
❛ You left without saying goodbye. Again. ❜
❛ Back in your cage, sweetheart. ❜
❛ We endure each other for [name]’s happiness. ❜
❛ I love you. I don't say it often enough anymore. ❜
❛ You threaten a life which will endure till the end of the world. ❜
❛ Are you a narc? ❜
❛ I want to interview you. ❜
❛ So...question. Can an immortal meet mortality? ❜
❛ We would spend our hours enduring, with little pretense of getting along, locked together in hatred. ❜
❛ Knowledge is the ocean's edge. ❜
❛ They say that Satan lives in this house. ❜
❛ Well, send Saint Peter our regards. ❜
❛ We have to leave this place. ❜
❛ Maybe start by telling me the plan? ❜
❛ You spend an hour alone with him and you're breathing in sync together. ❜
❛ I'll lose myself in him. ❜
❛ You irritate me. Your very presence irritates me. ❜
❛ I came to make peace with you. ❜
❛ No one's comin' to a party thrown by freaks. ❜
❛ You're gonna try to kill him at this party? ❜
❛ I mean, this is all good and... sufficiently creepy. What do you want? ❜
❛ Would you like to know the secret of immortality? ❜
❛ I wanted him dead. I wanted him all to myself. ❜
❛ I'm going to miss this place. ❜
❛ I was his, and he was mine. ❜
❛ Always the petty slights with you. ❜
❛ We are joined by a cord, by a cord that you cannot see, but it is real. It is real. ❜
❛ I have loved you...with all myself. ❜
❛ I'm happy it was you...here with me…at the end. ❜
❛ This horror that had been [name]...I stared helplessly at it. The thing lay still. ❜
❛ Murder? What murder? It was an act of mercy. ❜
❛ You didn't kill him. You spared him, out of some fucked-up idea you had about love. ❜
❛ We have to burn him. It's the only way we'll know! ❜
❛ You don't need a memoir. You need a hundred sessions of EMDR. ❜
❛ You've only heard half the story. ❜
❛ This time, I won't save your life. ❜
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notmorbid · 1 month
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yellowjackets, season 1 [pt. 2].
dialogue prompts from the first season of showtime's yellowjackets.
we're going through one of our little divorces right now.
you know i don't like when you yell at me.
scared of what other people think?
they are gonna find out eventually. you know that, right?
i never should have told you about that.
promise me you won't do anything stupid.
it's not a real birthday without presents.
i just got so caught up in making everything perfect.
i don't want to go back yet. do you?
how could you do that without telling me?
i don't even know who the hell you are right now.
we were kids. and it was awful.
you left me all alone.
are you a genius? did you ever take one of those tests?
i don't wish things were different.
i have no regrets. i want you to know that.
we're still together. that's got to count for something.
it means something to me. especially with you.
what if you're wrong? what if it's just nothing?
i know i don't have to. i need to.
i don't want you to go, okay?
what part of 'hurry up' did you not understand?
you're obviously hiding something from me, and it's making me feel crazy.
what did i do? when did you stop wanting me to be your best friend?
don't worry. we're gonna get through this together.
i have a life outside of you, you know?
you seem surprisingly calm, by the way.
it's not the first time i've been held hostage.
you're not supposed to go through people's private stuff, you know.
you're just as fucked up as i am. you're just better at lying to yourself.
you're living on the brink, just like me.
what happened to 'go with the flow'? 'see where life takes me'?
you're not in control, and you're not used to it.
every single cell in your body wants to blow things up and see what happens. that's who you are.
i promise this will all be over soon.
i've never been in a french farce before.
i'm not sure i believe you. i'm not sure it even matters.
let's not act like [name] is an innocent victim.
i've seen the way [name] looks at you.
you just wasted $300 worth of blow.
were you spying on me, you little pervert?
i'm pretty much the best friend you have right now.
i'm afraid to go to sleep.
i'll stay with you.
do you ever think about what our lives would've been like, if it didn't happen?
i must have been sleepwalking or something.
i don't know what's happening to me.
i realized i don't know anything about you.
what are you gonna do to stop me?
it's not really the time to be keeping secrets.
i'm afraid i'm going to hurt you.
you have two seconds to tell me the truth.
i can't believe that i fell for it. that i fell for you.
we can still fix this.
what do you mean, you killed someone? like, you murdered someone?
you deserve to be with somebody who really wants to be with you.
when did we become these people?
you don't know anything about me.
do you ever feel like your humility holds you back?
you could have talked to me, you know.
all this time, you knew everything?
it doesn't matter. we're just shells with nothing inside.
where are we? am i even here?
you took something that doesn't belong to you.
don't you understand? you don't matter anymore.
please. i need to see you.
can you try to be a little less judgmental?
you were just trying to survive.
you never say you're sorry.
i just need to know that you're okay.
i said i was fine, didn't i?
do you want any help?
it's just like riding a really gross, fucked up bike.
sometimes i look at the world around me, and it's like all the light has just gone out of it.
maybe you need to start trying to forgive ____.
let's get a picture.
i wish i could say i remember [name] better.
i hope you find whatever it is you really need.
you were my best friend.
you just assumed i'd go wherever you wanted.
i'm not jealous of you. i feel sorry for you.
i don't even know who you are anymore.
you want to make a break for it?
the less you know about it, the better.
i think we're gonna be alright.
i didn't know commercials still existed.
it's not as bad as you thought, is it?
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inkskinned · 2 years
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something i've been thinking a lot about is that just surviving is often both the least rewarding recovery experience and also the absolute most critical skill.
i think many of us have spent the last few years of our life just... holding the line. our legs trembling under all that weight. many of us backslid in the sand; and that was agonizing. we have spent so much of our life pushing, and to be forced backwards... we are already so exhausted. it is unimaginable to think we must remake the progress that had already been hard-won.
there's a graph that exists of how you can roughly expect any artistic skill to grow. we all go through periods of rapid growth and discovery; only to plateau. there is often a little sorrow in the plateau, because we're not moving quickly. we don't see those huge strides. there's no obvious sense we're learning.
but the art we're making in that plateau matters. it can still be effective, evocative, exciting. you can still feel inspired, happy, creative in that plateau; because the skills you have are growing, it's just that you're a spot where you don't need to focus on skill-building, you've finally reached a place where you can focus on actually making things. and at some point, without you expecting it, and as long as you work for it - another sharp increase in skill will happen. if you ask any of us how we did it, most of us would tell you the same thing: i just kept trying.
i have spent a lot of my life believing that just-surviving was the same thing as stagnating. i don't have any tangible goals or desires and the idea of making longterm plans makes me want to set my hair on fire. i am fucking tired. i don't want another year of scrambling, of falling down, of slipping in the mud. I love my friends, but i'm watching them settle down, have a life, get what they want: and i'm still here, in the part where i beg my life to be barely functional.
i think... maybe this whole time it wasn't standing still. it was still learning. it was still growing. i just got used to the plateau and forgot that "even surviving" isn't something i used to be able to take for granted. that in all this horrible, thankless effort - certain things are easy enough now. i can forget them.
i have spent so much time hating that i'm not getting better faster. i forgot that it used to be unthinkable to me to even consider recovery. these last years; i've been comparing my plateau to my eras of quick-discovery. i've been unfair to myself. no, the progress isn't as obvious. that doesn't mean it's not still-happening.
we make the mistake of saying "this year i want to live, not just survive," as if the effort of just surviving is useless, or could be shrugged off. the effort of surviving is beautiful. your years spent like barely-here are enough. you're not wasting time. you're not wasting your one precious life. "just holding on" means you were able to actually find and grab the rope. you're here; and the effort of your survival is work. you've been seeking the sky when it used to be impossible to imagine putting down roots. i know it is hard, and i hope you are able to feel better soon. i hope we both reach our next quick-climb. and i know - the weight might never ease up.
it's just that, over time, with effort: we will get strong enough.
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clarisse0o · 21 days
Text
Camp Wiegman-Part 59
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe : Military School
Words : 7k
Masterlist
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Wednesday, February 24th; 8:30 AM - Lucy's Apartment.
I groaned as the alarm echoed through the room. It’s way too early, especially considering how late we got home last night. I buried my head in the pillow, while my wonderful girlfriend chuckled. Unsurprisingly, when I turned to face her, she was already fully awake.
"Do you think this is funny?" I mumbled.
"A little bit," she teased. "Good morning..."
I smiled as she leaned in to kiss me. I love our morning kiss, even though it’s not the best one of the day. A slight headache began to take hold. It wasn’t the most pleasant wake-up, though far from the worst.
"What do you want for breakfast?" she asked, getting out of bed.
"Stay," I groaned.
"As much as I’d like to, we have to pick up your little brother in an hour," she said, changing from shorts into a new pair of joggers. "We shouldn’t be late, right? You only have yourself to blame for wanting to stay up so late."
"At least I didn’t drink until I was wasted," I teased, hugging the pillow closer.
"You’d better not have. I would’ve made you sleep on the couch if you had."
"I don’t believe you," I teased again.
"You should. I would’ve done it without any guilt."
I stuck out my tongue at her, which only made her smile smugly. She came back over to give me another quick kiss.
"Don’t take too long, okay?"
"I’ll try my best... Can you make me some toast this morning?"
"Of course."
We exchanged smiles before she left the room. I love our life together. It feels like we’ve been living together for years. Everything is so ordinary, far from anything that could bother us. I stretched out once more before lying on my back. Today is going to be long and busy, but so perfect. Our little bubble will be interrupted with Joan’s arrival, but I’m excited to see him again. I forced myself out of bed and, unlike Lucy, didn’t change before joining her. I smiled when I saw her making the toast I’d asked for.
"I expected you to join me much later."
"I had a good teacher for getting out of bed."
"Oh, please. I only threw you out of bed once," she teased.
"After throwing a glass of water on me, if I remember correctly. The other times, you made me run outside. I’m not sure which was worse."
She laughed heartily as I joined her in setting the table. I didn’t find it funny at all. I went through a lot because of her. There’s a reason I didn’t like her at first, now that she reminded me.
"Stop laughing."
"Oh, come on. Admit it, it was funny."
"No, it wasn’t," I pouted. "You really pushed me to the limit."
"Those are good memories. I can’t wait to tell our grandkids about our first meeting someday."
"Of course," I giggled. "Let’s focus on having kids first, before thinking about grandkids."
"You’re right. We’ll get there one day."
"Mm-hmm."
I approached her and hugged her from behind. She leaned back against me, and I took the opportunity to kiss her shoulder. I slowly moved up to her neck, lightly biting a few spots without leaving any marks. Mine had finally faded, and I was glad about that. Knowing Joan, he would’ve asked what it was, and I wouldn’t have known how to explain it to him at his age.
"Thanks for agreeing to have my brother over for a few days."
"It’s no problem. I was surprised your mom let him come alone, though," she admitted.
"Me too... It seems the airport reassured her by saying he’d be accompanied the whole time. Plus, she knows how attentive I am with him, so nothing can really happen to him with us. And, I feel like she trusts you more than she trusts me," I chuckled.
"She shouldn’t, though. You’re way better with kids than I am."
"Nonsense. You work with teens all day."
"They’re students, which means they’re almost adults. It’s not the same at all."
"Well, let me tell you, we’re way worse than innocent kids."
"That’s debatable. I’ve always found kids to be quite devious... Though Joan isn’t like that, thankfully."
I giggled at her thinking. She must not have been around many good kids. I let go of her waist when I saw she was finishing up the toast. I quickly poured her coffee and heated up my hot chocolate. Then I joined her at the table, where she had brought all sorts of toppings.
"So, you don’t like kids, huh?" I asked as I began my breakfast.
"I didn’t say that," she rolled her eyes. "I don’t like spoiled, badly-behaved kids. That’s all."
"Or cheeky ones, huh?" I teased.
She laughed, knowing full well that I was referring to myself. She used to say that about me, and it wasn’t in a pleasant tone.
"Or cheeky ones, indeed. But they can be redeemed after a few laps around the track."
"Ha ha ha!"
"Isn’t it true?"
"Maybe. But I wasn’t cheeky."
"Oh yes, you were," she teased. "You had a comeback for everything I said."
"Well, you were really hard on me. I mean, you were very direct with me... And I hated it. That’s why I didn’t like you at first."
"You didn’t like me because I dared to tell you things to your face, and that’s exactly what you needed, right? You needed someone like me to help you understand and make an impact on you."
"You’re probably right... Your words made me think a lot at the beginning. I felt like crap," I admitted shyly.
"That was kind of the goal... At least, by insisting and being so harsh with my words, I wanted you to realize who you had become. It was obvious you weren’t a bad person. Circumstances made you that way."
I smiled softly at her, nodding. I love when Lucy shares her thoughts with me. She’s so good at reading people, a quality few possess. I, for example, don’t have it. I couldn’t tell who has a good or bad heart. At first, I saw the good in everyone, but since Feli, that’s changed.
"Do you think everyone has a good side?" I asked thoughtfully.
"I think everyone has both good and bad sides. It’s just that one tends to come out more than the other at certain times."
"Yeah, okay. But do you think someone can become good again after being bad? Like Korbin, for example."
She seemed to think for a moment, dipping her toast in her coffee before taking a bite. She took her time chewing and swallowing before replying.
"Well... It’s hard to say with that example. Korbin grew up in a tough environment. The people you saw in Wiegman’s office last time weren’t her real parents, but her foster family. Some people don’t have a choice about who they become. Even though she was taken out of her old neighborhood, I can guarantee that once she feels ready, she’ll go back there."
"You think so?" I asked, surprised. « Why? »
- Because that's what her parents decided. In neighborhoods like that, families have reputations to uphold. If she doesn't go back, she'll be shunned for the rest of her life and disowned by her family.
- That's really not cool, I grimaced.
- That's life... Not everyone has a choice, she replied with a shrug.
- Is that what she told you?
- Yeah. You weren't my only student, you know.
- Really? I thought I was the only one, I admitted.
- No, she shook her head. You weren't the only one, but you were definitely the most important. Wiegman wanted me to focus on you. To do that, she let some go early and reassigned others to Ingrid.
- Oh... What about Korbin?
- Wiegman let her go early. The more I think about it, I believe she took it out on you to get back at me. She must have felt betrayed and abandoned since I was the first person she ever opened up to.
All the hatred I had for her almost turns into pity now. Even though her actions are unforgivable, I can understand them. I would have reacted the same way if I were in her shoes. What I don’t understand is why Lucy was so adamant about her leaving Camp Wiegman, even though she knew about her issues.
- Why did you insist on having her leave Camp Wiegman if you thought she still needed help?
- As I just told you, some people don’t have a choice and decide they don’t want to be saved. That was Korbin’s case. Unlike you, she didn’t want to be saved because she already knew her future. I can guarantee she’ll be on the wrong side her whole life, and keeping her at school would have put you in danger.
- Y-you wanted her gone to protect me?
- Of course, she replied as if it was obvious. You specifically, but also all the other students. Her group of friends will have you in their sights for a while since you got their leader expelled. But don’t worry. You don’t have anything to fear. You’ll be watched, just like them.
- What do you mean, watched? I asked, frowning.
- The entire teaching staff and the instructors are aware. They won’t let anything happen, trust me, they know.
- OK... I murmured. Why are they even here if they’re so dangerous?
- Everyone deserves a chance, right? she smiled. Some of them won’t follow Korbin’s path. Take Athenea, for example. Ingrid was in charge of her, and she plans to continue her studies after school.
- Really? I was surprised. She doesn’t seem very smart... I said without thinking.
Lucy laughed and shook her head.
- Believe me, she’s smarter than she seems. She wasn’t just the little girl following Korbin around. If she let people think that, it was to get Korbin’s protection within their group. I wonder how things will go for her now that Korbin is gone.
- People are really crazy, I sighed.
- Oh yes, she giggled. More than you think. Well, I’m going to take a shower. Can you clean up in the meantime?
- Yeah, but I need to shower too, so hurry up.
- Then go first. You take longer than I do.
- Hey!
- What? It’s the truth, she teased as she headed to the kitchen.
I stuck out my tongue at her while bringing my cup and some topping jars like Nutella and jam to the kitchen.
- That’s mean, I commented.
- Oh, please. It’s not the worst thing I’ve said to you, she laughed.
I was about to pretend to sulk, but she pulled me back and held me firmly against her. Her lips quickly found their way to my neck, which I instinctively tucked in.
- Sorry. I take it back, she said with a hint of amusement.
- You’re only saying that so I’ll stop sulking.
- Is it working?
- You wish, you fool.
She laughed, turning me around so we could face each other. She kissed me so intensely that I stepped back until I felt the countertop against my lower back. I was about to go in for another kiss when we barely separated to breathe, but she gently pulled away.
- Shower, she reminded me with one word.
I groaned in frustration, knowing she was right. We can easily get lost in the moment, and now is not the time given our schedule. Still, I gave her one last kiss before heading to the bathroom. I can’t wait to hug my little brother.
Wednesday, February 24; 10:30 AM - Manchester Airport
My foot bounces in rhythm with the seconds as I watch the display board counting down the minutes until the plane lands. The wait is so stressful for me, and apparently for Lucy too, who finally places her hand on my knee.
- Stop that, she grumbled.
- It’s taking forever!
- Fidgeting won’t make the wait any shorter. It’ll just annoy me.
She raised an eyebrow in a threatening way. I bit my lip and stopped moving my foot. I don’t like it when she looks at me like that, even if I deserve it. She let out a sigh of relief and turned her attention back to her phone. I looked back at the display board to see how much time had passed. Fifteen minutes. I’m definitely going to die before it reaches zero. My excitement is at its peak. I’ve missed Joan so much. I hope his flight went well since he was traveling alone. A flight attendant was supposed to accompany him from the beginning to the end of the boarding process, so everything should have gone smoothly. However, I’m not sure if it’s Shay.
- The girls are asking if we want to have dinner together tonight, Lucy announced, snapping me out of my daydream. Is that okay with you?
- Yeah, of course. Joan will be happy to see them again. We could also invite Alexia and Jenni. I know Ale has always wanted to meet him, so this would be a good opportunity. But I’d avoid inviting the other girls. They might scare him, I giggled.
- Okay. I’ll suggest they come to our place then. It’ll be more relaxed.
- Do you have enough to cook?
- If not, we’ll go grocery shopping or order pizzas. I don’t have to ask if Joan likes them, do I?
- He loves them, I said with a smile. But we already had some this weekend.
- That’s true... We could order Chinese instead?
- Owh. I’m not sure he’d like that. Oh, what if we made crepes? That’s a good idea, right?
- We could, but I thought you wanted to take Joan around the city? We won’t have time to do both.
- That’s true... But it’s not like he’s going to be interested in the city’s architecture at his age. A cooking session would be more fun for him, I think.
- Okay, we’ll go shopping then. Crepes it is?
- Yep. We’ll save your pizzas for next time.
- Alright, she teased softly. We’ll do that next time. I know how much you love them.
I smiled and nodded as she ran her hand through my hair, gently stroking it.
- A lot. If it were up to me, we’d have them again tonight, I confessed.
- You know, you can have them whenever you want now.
- I know, I sighed. That’s why I’m not pushing it. It wouldn’t be reasonable.
- Since when are you reasonable?
- Hey! I protested.
- What? she smiled mischievously. Want to know something? I’ve always loved your innocence.
- Really? I’ve never claimed to be an adult.
- Oh, I know that. Well, your innocence is part of why I love you.
The spontaneity of her words always gets to me. Plus, she continued to stroke my hair as if nothing had happened. Eventually, she stopped and kissed the corner of my mouth before getting up.
- Now that I’ve kept your mind occupied, it’s time to welcome your brother, right?
I looked up at the screen to see, to my surprise, that there were only two minutes left. I quickly stood up. My girlfriend pulled me close, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, and kissed my temple. Instinctively, I wrapped my arm around her lower back.
- Does that amuse you? I murmured into her neck when I heard her chuckle.
- A little. You’re very impatient, but so easy to distract.
- You knew the whole time, didn’t you? About tonight?
- Since we left the house. I said yes and already invited Jenni and Alexia.
Since my head was still nestled in her neck, I smiled freely. I can’t tell if I appreciate or dislike that she always knows what I want in advance. Since it wasn’t the time to debate it, I simply lifted my head from her neck.
- And you’re way too organized and decisive.
- Decisive, really? she laughed. I always gave you a choice.
- At school, you would always let me choose between two options, knowing full well which one I would pick.
"Well, it's true that I didn't give you much choice back there," she chuckles. "But it was for your own good."
I would have replied, but my attention is drawn to the people disembarking from the flight we've been waiting for. I step away from Lucy and move as close as possible to the others. Lucy quickly follows, keeping her hand on my back. I'm scanning for Joan, but I don't see anyone yet. I start to feel impatient as I realize we're nearing the end. Finally, I spot him holding the hand of a flight attendant. I smile, recognizing Shay. The message seems to have been passed along, which eases my mind. At least I know he was well taken care of and likely had a good flight. Shay looks surprised when my brother points me out to her, and he tries to break free to run to us, but Shay keeps hold of him. She only lets go when they're about a meter away, allowing my brother to run toward me. I kneel down to catch him and lift him into my arms, letting him hug me tightly.
"Ona!"
"Hey, sweetheart. Did you have a good flight?"
"Yeah, but it was long!"
"Oh, I bet it was," I chuckle. "Hey," I say, addressing Shay as she approaches, "were you the one looking after him?"
"Yes, I was asked to specifically, but now that I see you, I understand why."
I smile softly, glancing at Lucy, who has been quietly standing behind me this whole time, tracing patterns on my back with her fingers. I remember she talked to my mom about this just yesterday, ensuring Joan would have someone for the flight. For some reason, my mom insisted on having Lucy's contact information. Given what happened last time she found me, I guess it makes sense. Now she wants to be informed if anything unusual happens. I think it was just an excuse, but Lucy didn't mind, so I didn't argue. It’s strange knowing they’re in touch, but at least I know Lucy gets along well with my family. She’s even won over my brother, who is now asking to be held by my girlfriend. Lucy doesn’t hesitate to pick him up. The sight of them together warms my heart.
"Thank you," I say sincerely to Shay. "So, everything went well?"
"Yes, yes. He got very impatient toward the end, but overall, it went smoothly. Is he family?"
"He's my little brother," I reply. "Thanks for taking care of him."
"No problem, it’s my job. He was adorable. When’s his return flight?"
"Saturday at two o’clock."
"I’ll be on that flight too, so I can make sure he’s okay."
"My best friend will be with him, but it’s great to know. Thanks."
"It’s no trouble. Well, have a great weekend."
"Thanks, you too."
I turn back to the two most precious people in my life as Shay leaves. Joan is now on the ground, firmly holding my girlfriend’s hand.
"Are we going, Ona?" he asks, reaching out her other hand to me.
"Let’s go," I confirm. "We’ll just grab your suitcase first, and then we can finally enjoy ourselves."
With a big smile and a full heart, the three of us walk through the airport. I’m so happy to have Joan with us. These three days with them are going to be amazing. My mom couldn’t have given me a better gift.
Wednesday, February 24; 11:30 AM - Supermarket
"Is this good, Ona?" he asks, showing me a pack of gruyère cheese.
"Yep. You can put it in here," I say, handing him the basket. "Okay, let’s go find Lucy now."
After our little battle earlier over crepes, here we are doing the grocery shopping. When my brother heard the word, it was nearly impossible to get it out of his head. According to him, it’s been ages since he last had them, which was funny to hear. Knowing my mom, that’s probably almost true. When I was still living at home, we barely ever had them. To speed things up, we split up to find the ingredients.
"Are your new friends nice?" Joan asks, taking my hand again.
"They are, sweetie. You don’t need to worry," I reassure him. "And Mapi will be there too."
"Really?" he says excitedly. "She’s here too?"
"Yes," I giggle. "And Ingrid will be there. Do you remember her?"
"Mapi’s girlfriend?"
"Yes," I confirm with a smile. "She was nice, wasn’t she?"
"Mm-hmm."
We told him the news for tonight. He was a little nervous at first, but he wasn’t opposed to the idea. As we leave our aisle, I freeze for a moment when I see someone in front of us.
"Damn it," I mutter.
"You said a bad word, Ona."
"Yeah, I know, and that’s not good. Come on, hurry," I say, pulling her along.
"Why?"
I don’t answer and rush into the next aisle to find Lucy. I’m relieved to still see her here, choosing the last of the savory items.
"Lucy!"
"Hmm?" she responds indifferently.
"We need to leave!"
"Why?"
"I ran into Leah."
"What?" she frowns. "She lives in the center. What would she be doing here?"
"I swear, she was—"
"Ona?"
Both Lucy and I freeze. I was sure I saw her correctly, but the voice isn’t Leah’s. I look past Lucy to see Alessia at the other end of the aisle. I couldn’t say which of the two is worse to run into.
"Hey," I say with a forced smile.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, starting to walk toward us. "I thought you were in Barcelona."
Lucy points behind her, and I quickly understand she wants to take advantage of Alessia’s back being turned to slip away. I step aside to let her pass and move toward Alessia, but she groans, making me turn around to see Leah this time. We’re completely trapped, and to make matters worse, Joan tugs at my arm to get my attention.
"Who is that, Ona?" he whispers, pressing himself against me.
"Ona? B-Bronze?" Leah says in surprise. "What are you two doing here together?"
Her voice rises with a hint of anger, making me sigh. Joan starts to get scared of the newcomers and clings even more tightly to me. He asks to be picked up, so I do. Now, we’re face-to-face with both Leah and Alessia, who are staring at us. Alessia is the first to grasp what’s happening, breaking into a huge grin.
"No way! You and Bronze!? Was it her all this time?"
I groan as Lucy gives me a hard look.
"Don’t look at me like that. I never said anything about you."
"Really?" she arches an eyebrow. "That’s not what it seems like!"
"I figured it out on my own that there was someone in her life. She never confirmed it or gave me a name," Alessia defends me.
It’s Lucy’s turn to sigh. I hope she’s not too upset with me, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.
"Sorry," Alessia apologizes. "I just didn’t expect us to get found out here."
"Well, you’re crazy for hanging out together like this!" Leah scolds us. "There are plenty of students from Manchester, including us! Imagine if you ran into someone else!"
"Excuse me, Leah, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen students in my neighborhood," Lucy retorts, full of bitterness. "I should be the one asking what you’re doing here. You live downtown, and we’re in a small convenience store. The odds should have been very slim."
I chuckle at Lucy’s visible annoyance. I knew she wasn’t a fan of surprises, but this must be the last straw for her. My reaction doesn’t seem to please her, judging by the stern look she gives me. Even Joan is scared and clings to me more tightly. I understand him completely; I know how it feels to get on Lucy’s bad side.
"Relax," Alessia responds. "It’s not like we have anything against Ona or that we’re going to snitch on you. We were just surprised, right, Leah?"
"Hmm," she grumbles. "Dating is still risky," she insists.
Her comment earns her an elbow from her sister, as they’ve since switched places. It was unexpected to see them, but on the other hand, I feel relieved not to have to hide such a big secret from them anymore. I’ve gotten close to them since we’re in the same class, so it’s been pretty annoying to keep it from them. Especially since Alessia already had suspicions. I take this opportunity to ask her directly.
"You suspected it, didn’t you?"
"Yes," she admits with a small smile. "I didn’t want to push because every time we talked about it, you’d get angry."
Poor thing, I can’t even deny it. Alessia is very persistent, and it’s hard for me to handle since everyone else gives me the space I need. I remember she hesitated to bring up the topic during our last week of classes. It was probably to talk about Lucy. She was right not to ask me anything. I would have immediately shut down. Lucy sighs again, which prompts me to move closer and kiss her cheek.
"It’s okay, it’s fine."
"That makes three people, Ona," she says discontentedly.
"They’re my friends. Yours know too. I don’t see the problem."
"Mine aren��t at school. That’s the difference. And Leah’s right. I’m starting to think anyone could see us together if they can."
I wince as she abruptly pulls away. Without giving me time to respond, she takes the basket I was still holding and drops the ham inside.
"I’ll finish the shopping. Don’t take too long to join me."
No one dares argue with her as she walks away, clearly in a foul mood. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. This afternoon is likely to be tense now.
"Why is Lucy mad?" my little brother asks.
"Lucy?" Alessia repeats. "Oh... Bronze, I get it."
"Yeah... Another thing to keep to yourself. And don’t worry, Jo. It’ll be okay. »
- "She looks really scary like that," he whispered.
- "You haven't seen anything yet," Leah commented.
- "Stop it. Don’t scare him," I replied, frowning.
- "Is he your little brother?" Alessia asked.
- "Yes, this is Joan. He just arrived today, and he's going to spend a few days with us. Joan, this is Alessia and Leah. They're friends of mine from school."
His head, which was mostly buried in my neck, emerged to curiously look at them before he gave a shy smile when Alessia waved at him.
- "Will they be here tonight too?"
- "Uh... No, sorry," I giggled. "Maybe another time."
I adjusted her on my hip as I felt her starting to slip. Even though he's only six, he's slowly getting heavier.
- "Will everything be okay with Bronze?" Alessia grimaced. "We didn't mean to cause any trouble."
- "It’s fine, I’m starting to handle it," I reassured her with a small smile. "I'll let her cool off, and we’ll talk."
- "Sorry for getting carried away, but what I said was true," Leah continued.
- "I know. I think that's why she's upset, so don't take it personally. It’s just that you've brought up a major issue that didn’t exist before. We’ve been going out for a while, but we’ve never really paid attention to our surroundings."
- "For a while... you two?"
- "No, just a few weeks," I admitted honestly.
I could have gone into more detail, but I held back. After all, it’s a story that only concerns us. People don’t need to know that we went through ups and downs before getting together.
- "I thought it had been longer," Leah responded. "It seemed like you two had been circling around each other for a while."
- "It was a bit complicated for both of us at first," I stayed vague. "The most important thing is that we're together now."
- "And so you see each other outside of school?" Leah asked. "You’re both crazy. What if she dumps you because she's afraid of risking her career? We’ll have to pick up the pieces."
- "That’s not going to happen," I rolled my eyes. "We’re a solid couple."
- "Alexia’s girlfriend got fired. It could easily happen to Lucy."
- "And they’re still together. Anyway, I assure you, Lucy won’t dump me for that. But if you want her to be nice to you, I suggest you stop getting on her nerves. Especially since if we stay together, you'll have to deal with her in private, and it would bother me if you two didn’t get along."
- "Oh my God," Leah muttered as if imagining the scene. "Is she as annoying as she is at school?"
- "Of course not," I giggled. "She’s adorable with me."
- "I find it hard to picture her in 'adorable' mode," she repeated, mimicking quotation marks.
- "She certainly won’t be with you," I teased.
- "Hey, wait. If your brother is here, does that mean your parents know?"
- "My mom knows, yes. She found out when she came to see me after the fight with Korbin. She took it well and loved Lucy."
- "Wow. And she didn’t say anything?"
- "No. She was actually happy. Since my ex, I hadn’t opened up to anyone, and no one thought I’d get into another relationship so soon. She even invited Lucy to come with me to Barcelona three weeks ago."
- "Really?"
- "Yeah, they were on a weekend trip, so she told Lucy she could come along when she found out about us."
- "And what did you do during those holidays?" Leah asked. "I guess you didn’t go home."
- "No, we didn’t. We went to the Alps with her friends last week and then came back here. Alexia and Mapi are here too; they were with us."
- "Really?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Even Mapi?"
- "Uh... yeah," I giggled. "She’s dating Ingrid, or rather Engen. So she’s at her place. We’ll see them tonight... hence the shopping."
- "Oh my God," she muttered. "This is all way too complicated. You really have a knack for getting into crazy situations."
- "Oh, please, it’s nothing bad. Anyway, the school year is almost over."
- "Ona," Lucy called out sharply. "Let’s go."
I turned around to see her waiting for us with a full basket. It seemed like my chatting had given her time to get everything done by herself. I looked up to see her expression just as stern as when she left. It didn’t seem like she had much time to calm down.
- "Well, see you soon then."
- "Yeah," Alessia smiled. "Good luck, and see you in a few days."
I thanked them and said goodbye before joining Lucy. Surprisingly, she offered me her hand when I reached her. I took it and let her lead me to the checkout. Despite her gesture, I could still feel her tension. Once again, I kissed her cheek.
- "They won't say anything, I promise."
- "I know. That’s not what bothers me, but the way they found out. Leah is right in what she said. Besides, I would have preferred to wait until the end of the year for your school friends to find out. I don’t want them to see me as anything other than your superior. They’ll think I’m showing favoritism, and we both know that’s not the case."
- "Everyone knows I have a special relationship with you. They won’t think that."
- "Yes, they will. They already do now. How many times have they teased you or made comments about me, huh?"
I blushed slightly, shrugging. Far too many times to count, really. As I just said, they know we have a special relationship. It’s no secret given how she acts differently with me than with other students. So, I often get gently teased about her. When we got to the conveyor belt, I put Joan down, and he was the first to start placing our items on the belt. Poor little thing. I had completely neglected him since our encounter with my friends.
- "Anyway, it’s done now," Lucy concluded.
- "Please don’t be in a bad mood. Not after these past few weeks, and I don’t want Joan to be scared of you. If you need to blow off steam, do it only in front of me."
She gave me a soft smile and surprised me by leaning in to kiss me.
- "That wasn’t my intention... I’m sorry for being so moody, but you can’t really blame me. You know as well as I do that we need to be more careful now."
- "Yes, you’re right. There's no such thing as zero risk, so I’m not going to argue about it, Lucy. If you decide we shouldn’t go out anymore, I’ll accept it."
- "No, I was just joking," I laughed. "I wouldn’t go that far. Besides, apart from coming here or to The United, we haven’t really gone out in Manchester."
- "We’ve visited your secret spots, the park, and even some galleries."
- "Don’t twist my words," she said, rolling her eyes. "If we take the park out of the equation, those aren’t places where we’re likely to run into students."
- "True," I giggled. "Thanks, though. I really expected you to stop us from going out."
- "Of course not," she smiled, gently pulling me into her arms. "Anyway, there are only a few months left. If I get fired, it won’t be dramatic since I plan on leaving next year anyway."
- "But that would bother me..." I admitted.
- "We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, I promise. But just know that if it does, it won’t be the end of the world. I’ll leave without causing any fuss, and it won’t change our relationship."
I smiled against her lips as she kissed me firmly. This was exactly what I told Leah earlier. Lucy won’t leave me. We laughed softly as we pulled away when I heard Joan make a sound of disgust.
- "That’s really gross."
- "Hey, watch your language," I gently reprimanded him.
He shrugged like a cheeky little boy before turning his back on us and moving toward the cashier when it was our turn. I was stunned. He had never behaved like this with me before. I was starting to think that what Sam or Sofia told me when I left wasn’t exaggerated. Lucy snapped me out of my stupor with a soft giggle.
- "Are you still sure you want kids later?" she teased.
I groaned in displeasure, making her laugh even more. The surprise was such that I didn’t even know how to react. Finally, I moved forward to help pack our groceries. I listened to Lucy continue talking about tonight, but I looked up when I felt someone watching us. I realized it was true when I caught Alessia’s eyes observing us from afar. I gave her a gentle smile before my attention was drawn back to Lucy, who waved a hand in front of my eyes.
- "Are you listening to me?"
- "No, sorry. What were you saying?"
She raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer.
- "What’s got you so distracted?"
Before she could even look up to see Alessia, Joan chimed in with an answer.
- "It’s her friend from earlier. She’s been watching us since before."
Lucy narrowed her eyes slightly before looking at me as if expecting confirmation. I shrugged indifferently, not finding the information particularly important. She then turned to my brother.
- "Really? And how was she looking at us?"
- "Luce-"
I stopped when I saw her raised hand, signaling me to be quiet. I placed our last item in the basket just as Lucy pulled out her credit card. I felt a bit guilty letting her pay for everything, but she insisted.
- "She was looking at Ona a lot. Kind of like Emma at my school. My friends say she wants to be my girlfriend but is too scared to talk to me."
I didn’t know what to think or what to worry about more after hearing that revealing statement. Joan is only in first grade, so it’s strange that he’s already talking about girlfriends, even if it’s harmless at that age. Lucy, however, seemed to have made her choice on the most important subject to discuss.
- "Is she still interested in you?" she surprised me by asking.
- "We’re friends," I replied. "I’ve always made it clear I’m not interested."
- "That wasn’t my question, Ona."
I sighed, shrugging as she put away her credit card after paying. As I’ve said many times, I’m not the best at reading people.
- "I don’t know," I admitted. "But if she still had hope, I think she just lost it."
She nodded, taking my free hand. The other was busy holding our packed shopping basket. Before we headed toward the exit, she pressed her lips firmly against mine, prolonging the kiss as if to make sure we were seen. That was definitely her intention.
- "I hope so. Because I’m not sharing you. You’re mine."
I blushed, discovering this new side of her that I hadn’t known before. With Feli, I hated her possessiveness, but it’s a different story with Lucy. I felt warm and reassured at the same time.
- "Why do you think I was never interested in her?" I retorted. "If I hadn’t met you first, I might have given her a chance."
My honesty caught her attention immediately. I’d be lying if I said Alessia isn’t my type. Besides her persistence, we have a lot in common. Lucy was about to respond, but I quickly cut her off before she got the wrong idea.
- "You already had too much of a hold on my mind for me to look elsewhere, darling. No matter what I might have done before meeting you, know that no one can compare to you now. You’re the only one I need and want."
I could say so many wonderful things about her to make her understand that since we met, nothing has been the same for me. She managed to fix me and bring back a missing part of my life. If she were to leave, it would be like losing a part of my soul. I realized that when we were apart.
- "I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m afraid you’ll find someone better than me."
- "That’s not going to happen."
The thoughtful expression she had disappeared, finally replaced by a wonderful little smile. She gently pulled me close and kissed my temple.
- "I know, I’m sorry. I love you, my love."
I closed my eyes for a few seconds, smiling in return. I didn’t know what she had been thinking, but it seemed I had managed to change her mind. As for me, I really couldn’t have dreamed of a better new life. If only she knew how much I care about her. She is my everything.
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girlactionfigure · 4 months
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Jewish Defiance
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Below is the speech I gave at a tiny, spirited protest of Jews - and their allies - who faced off a vast, snarling, swarm of pro-Hamas racists marching through London. Thank you to the organisers and those who turn up every week to show the indomitable defiance of the few.
This is a nice day out, isn’t it? What a lovely day out? Isn’t it nice to shlep into London when we could be doing anything else? We all really wanna be doing this on a weekend, don’t we? It ain’t what I want to be doing with my life. I don’t want to be here. I don’t think any of us wanna be here. These idiots are making us waste our time. But you wanna know what’s even more stupid? They’re wasting their time because they are not going to win. The State of Israel and the Jewish people are not going anywhere. We haven’t gone anywhere for three and a half thousand years. We’ve seen off the Romans, the Babylonians, the Nazis. We’ve outlasted all of them. And we’ll outlast these schmucks. Because antisemitic movements don’t have a long shelf life. History is not kind to the antisemite. And neither should we be. Any antisemite who transgresses should be made to suffer within the full scope of the law. They should be made to suffer consequences, socially, occupationally, legally.
Let’s be clear about who they are. We are not the same as them. They are fakes and frauds. Their calls for “ceasefire” aren’t about peace? You’re not for peace if you’re for globalising the intifada. You’re not for peace, if you’re calling for a Palestine from the river to the sea. You’re not for peace if you ignore, justify or excuse Hamas and their rocket attacks and their acts of terrorism against the Jewish People. You’re not for peace if you don’t condemn Hezbollah for firing rockets. You’re not for peace, if you don’t condemn the theocratic, Mullah regime of Iran and their complicity in all of this. You’re not for peace if you haven’t been calling for the complete and unconditional return of the hostages since day one.
If these liars on the streets of London were for peace they would be marching with Palestinian AND Israeli flags. But they aren’t. If they were for peace they would be screaming for the end of Hamas - a criminal rape gang of Islamic fundamentalists dedicated to jihad and the total extermination of all non-muslims. But they aren’t. These liars, these frauds, these Jew haters feign their tears and call for a ceasefire when the rapists Hamas are under the cosh, but they cheer when Israel is attacked. Sod them.
We on the other hand ARE for peace. There is no Jew that doesn’t want a world of peace and love. But you can’t shake hands with someone who’s trying to punch you in the face. And that is all our enemy does. Since Israel’s inception we have extended our hand in peace. But we have been met with punches, and knives, and rocks, and bullets, and car rammings, and rockets, and bombs, and rape, and torture, and murder and kidnapping. And if the world just expects us to take that. And to smile. And to say thank you world for allowing us to be murdered - then sod them. We are not the world’s punching bag, and we will not be sacrificed because of the non-Jewish world’s problems, or because of a superior, supercilious and utterly misplaced notion that they somehow own us and can dictate to Jews who we are, how we must live and how we are to die.
No one else decides our destiny. We do. When our destiny was in the hands of the world - the world bullied and slaughtered us. Zionism liberated us from the shackles of an abusive relationship with the world. And no one gets to tell us we go back into that relationship. The dynamic has changed. Get used to it. Zionism is the self-determination movement of the Jewish people. It is OUR liberation movement. Not yours. It is OUR civil rights movement. Not yours. The minute a non-Jew tries to define who the Jews are, or define Zionism or control our story - they prove exactly why we need Zionism - to liberate us - from them.
And like an abusive partner, many in the world can’t handle us being free. They can’t handle seeing us happy, thriving and getting on with our lives. Antisemites in Europe and America can’t handle seeing a Jewish minority making choices for themselves when they believe that they, the oh so cultured and civilised non-Jewish world, knows best. And antisemites in the muslim world can’t handle seeing a Jewish minority thrive outside the totalitarian confines of Islamic theocracy.
And so they come after us. Wanting to enslave us again. Not gonna happen. We will never be second class citizens or dhimmi again. And if you don’t like it that we fight back - good. I’m glad you don’t like it. Fuck around and find out. We’ll go as long as we need to.
And let me reiterate here: Jews don’t want violence. There are a million things we’d rather do. You are stopping us from achieving our full potential by making us have to fight you. We don’t want to spill blood. Jewish laws reiterate relentlessly the sanctity of blood. And then there was King David - who wasn’t allowed to build the Temple, because his hands were tainted with blood and the wars he had to fight. We are Jews and we wanna do good shit. We want to make advances in art, science and medicine for the good that it brings and for the joy of simply enriching our knowledge of this world.
Jews do not want war. But be under no illusion, if you bring it to us we will give you a war. Because there IS a time for war just as there’s a time for peace. And the time for war is when THEY come to kill us. Don’t fuck with Israel. Because our ancestors weren’t just shepherds and prophets and judges - they were warriors. And what was in them is in us. And just as they gave hell and triumphed over their enemies - we will give our enemies hell and we will triumph and we will win and then we will laugh and we will sing and we will dance - and with a bit of luck - we will make love and create more Jewish babies.
Look at the idiots out there who want to destroy us. They have to sing repetitive rhymes en masse - like morons in a cult - because they’re scared to be individuals. They’re scared to think for themselves. Scared to speak for themselves. They’re scared to be different. They’re scared to stand alone. They need nursery rhymes because they’re scared to engage in the complexities of an imperfect world. They’re morons.
Look at the numbers they have to gather in to feel brave enough to chant what they think? To shout that they want jihad and to kill every Jew between the river and the sea?
People who gather in that volume in order to shout at Jews are scared of Jews - and they should be. Because we’re fucking awesome. Being small in number is not a weakness. It is our superpower. It’s always been the Jewish superpower. It gives each of us ten times the resilience of those who rely on numbers. Never forget, no matter how surrounded you feel, strength is not in numbers, it is in your soul, it is in your heart and it’s in your resourcefulness. And we’ve got all of that. We are small in number but the things we’re each capable of are mighty. So go out every day and be mighty.
And don’t ever forget what Hamas did and what these people support. Darkness. They support darkness. There has never been more moral clarity to a fight than the one we face. What Hamas did on October 7th - demons from hell would ask them to be their teachers. And Hamas promise to do it again and again. A ceasefire is not peace. It’s a downpayment on future blood shed. It’s an investment in future war. The first step for the Middle East to even have a chance of peace is for Hamas to be gone.
Hamas are not the same civilisation as us. No peace can be made with them or anyone who thinks like them.
Our civilisation is worth protecting because it offers something good. The next time you’re in Jerusalem go and visit the Kingdom of David and you will see how precarious our origins were and how miraculous it is that we are still here and the responsibility we have to protect ourselves. David’s Kingdom was tiny. A tiny hillside that offered something new. A small outpost of light in a sea of darkness. It offered a revolution. It rejected what surrounded us. And what were we rejecting? We were rejecting the cruelty of those who engaged in child sacrifice. We were rejecting those who worshipped Moloch and set their own children on fire.
Now look at what’s happening today! Nothing has changed.
We’re facing an enemy who still sacrifice children. Deliberately. In Hamas we have an enemy who encourage their children to die, to blow themselves up, to set themselves on fire, to become so-called martyrs and shaheeds. We face an enemy whose parents praise Allah if one of their children blows themselves up with a suicide bomb to kill other children. We face an enemy that teaches their children in kindergartens, in schools, in mosques and in the home to die. We face an enemy that deliberately hides behind its own, and prevents them from seeking safety, so that they can be harmed in a war that THEY started. We should have no ambiguity and no doubt that we are on the side of good, and that good must triumph. Not just for us, but for this planet, lest that the ancient darkness faced by King David conquer every hillside and plunge the whole world into a night without end.
I want to leave you now with something important. The most important thing. What’s going on with our cruel and wicked enemies is deadly - but it’s also theatre. It’s designed to be a spectacle that scares you. It’s designed to make you crumble inside, give up and walk away. But it’s clear from your presence here today that you will not. And that none of you ever will. I wanna say that you are all fucking brilliant. All of you. You don’t even realise how brilliant you are. Seven months into the most disgusting war against us and here you all are standing tall, not backing down, ready to go on for as long as you need to. You are epic Jews, equal to any Jews of the past.
And don’t let the world spin your heads. Because mark these words: this is the best time to be a Jew in 2000 years. It is the best time to be a Jew in 2000 years. Because we’ve always had enemies. There have always been those who’ve risen up to kill us. But this time, this time we have the State of Israel. The Jewish People are home. They are in their indigenous homeland and they will never be uprooted again.
And because we have the State of Israel we will never be as vulnerable as our ancestors. As bad as things sometimes feel we will never know how vulnerable they felt when the rug was pulled from their feet. And they would be SO happy for us. We are the luckiest Jews in 2000 years. With Israel we can defend ourselves. We can fight back. We have an army. We have infrastructure. We have technology. For the first time in 2000 years the Jews can truly fight back. And if our enemies wanna bring it, they will know we can fight.
So you can be anxious now and then. But never, ever give in to fear.
In this life you can be scared. You can be messed up. You can even be fucked up. But the most important thing is to show up. Always show up and give a good account of yourself and with God’s grace we will always triumph. God bless you. Baruch HaShem.
LEE KERN
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