#z as the most annoying saint in the history of time

[desertsongpdf]

VIDEO ESSAYS (part ??? 1/2) [parts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 3.5 / 4 / 5 / 6], *=personal fav

ronald reagan & the biggest failure in physics (1) / george bush vomited & set physics back by a decade (2) / bill clinton & the day physics died (3)

the man who almost faked his way to a nobel prize (1) / suspicions are swirling and bell labs is burning (2)

the man who tried to fake an element

air: an honest review

what if you put your head in a particle accelerator

the most successful scientific theory ever: the standard model

the five kinds of paradox

disney channel's theme: a history mystery*

music theory and white supremacy*

the power of nostalgic music

we tracked what happens after tiktok songs go viral

why spotify playlists never truly shuffle

will toledo and the rise of car seat headrest

kid a: the greatest left turn in music history

how trailer music tricks you

why steve lacy is annoyed.

the postmodern horror of tiktok's encanto discourse*

the queer history of weimar germany

queerbaiting celebrities: an over analysis*

why queer relationship dynamics are harder: the stable marrige problem

queer rage & the christian right

overanalyzing the barbie movies with a queer marxist theory

the gay appeal of toxic love

queering cinema (by any means necessary)

the tragedy of being rich

what the internet did to garfield*

your college essay didn't get you accepted, you're just rich

why are you so angry? part 1: a short history of anita sarkeesian / part 2: angry jack / part 3: perception is everything / part 4: an autopsy on gamergate / part 5: 'the good guy' / part 6: talking to angry jack

the modern diogenes: a guide to slavoj zizek

stimulating alternate voting systems

men are miserable: tiktok's depression pipeline

the broken mythology of great men

so you're having an existential crisis

why is gen z humor so weird?

how to be correct about everything all the time

useful idiots and the groomer panic

why extinction loves the ugly - the 'cute' defence

paris saint-germain: a legacy of failure

why did sebastian vettel get called out on national tv?

an introduction to match fixing in football

the debacle of blue clay: used once and never again

atticus is everything wrong with modern poetry*

how the publishing industry failed 'lolita' (as told by terrible book covers)

the death of the teen fantasy era

recreating the fashion of my immortal

hijacking the dead? terry prachett & the trans 'debate'

this best-selling novel was a total hoax

the little book of cosmic horrors

the absurd 2nd century space opera you'll never read

fantasy is very pro-monarchy (and that's weird)

anti-smoking campaigns on tiktok

why did our brains shrink

the origins of the anti-christ

world war one performance tier list

the psychology behind conspiracy theories

why are there two a's?

i fixed the alphabet / i fixed the alphabet more

hangman is a weird game

the curious history of ignorant tattoos

the arguments for god's existance tier list

projecting 'boris is a wet wipe' on houses of parliment

buddhism is kinda out there, man

mortis - internet mysteries

the universe iceberg explained

reviewing every mental illness

[99sshithouse]

Boseon Choi

BM | Matthew Kim

Age : 24

Alias(es) : Big B (Z), Baby B (J), Bumble B (parents only)

Place of Birth : Seoul, South Korea

Eye & Hair Color : Brown | Natural Brown

Height & Weight : 6'2" | 215lbs

Sex & Gender : Male and Identifies As Such

Orientation : Heterosexual

Marital Status : In A Relationship With Zuleika Nam

Personality

Oh, You Just Keep On Using Me, Until You Use Me Up

Boseon is made up of part neighborhood jock, part golden-star son, part chaotic mess. He was raised in a strong family dynamic, his mother and father loving him and supported him and everything he did. Singer? Sure! Artist? Absolutely! Dancer? Of course! They spent a life working hard to give their son every opportunity they hadn't been able to afford when they were kids. While sometimes their love and care could be a little embarrassing, he wouldn't ask for any other set of parents, because he knows no one would be better than his. Plus, they kept him close to his heritage, which he hopes to pass down as well whenever he has children.

B has always been a little more rough around the edges when compared to the rest of his friends. He was always louder, a lot more open and flirty, straight forward and can sometimes seem mean, but the ones who know him and love him know that 'mean' is the last thing he tries to be. He's extremely protective over his friends, and if someone tries to bother them, he isn't afraid to square up and knock them out. He has a habit of being decent at everything he tries. From dancing to sports to arts n crafts. He likes trying new things, especially if it's something someone he cares about is passionate about. He has this natural charm around him that can be similar to one might imagine a star quarterback would have. Personable, Outgoing, Charsmatic.

At this point in his life, there is a lot more confusion than there is understanding. He finds himself constantly questioning himself, his worth, his looks, the way he acts, the way he dresses, he just can't seem to find a place where he is comfortable anymore. While he tells his bro as much as he can, he finds it awkward to complain when it seems he has everything he could ever want. A girlfriend who loves him, job he cares about, a nice apartment, a good family, but when things come down to it, so much of it is fake that he doesn't even really know what's real anymore. He feels lost and incomplete, but who would really get it?

He's got a cute side to him. He's sweet to the girls all the time, B&J as a pair are just annoying enough to be quite a sweet pair. He's passionate about what he does with a little disaster sprinkled in on top.

Employment : Part Time At Local Roller Rink

Has held this job since he was 19, and usually hands out the skates and acts as the disk jockey for the rink. Sometimes he works behind the snack bar, but that's only if they're short staffed.

Criminal Specialty : Vandalism | Graffiti

Skills & Abilities

Tall & Ripped | The boy has spent years perfecting his appearance, and gaining both strength and flexibility | Not the Brightest Most Days, But Makes Up With a Huge Heart | Bilingual : Speaks Korean and English Fluently

Incredible Dancer | Leader of Dance Crew | B is incredibly passionate about dancing and, more specifically, dancing with his crew. He is the best dancer of the group, the most dedicated of the bunch, and was made the leader because of it.

Good Roller Skater and Skateboarder | Picks Up Sports Easily | Badass Gamer | Able To Stitch Up Tears in Clothing and sew on buttons | Actually a Pretty Good Artist

Authoritative Presence | There is just something about B that makes it easier to listen to him tell you what to do. It could be his deep voice, his threatening height and build, the fact that he's so damn passionate, but throughout his entire life, people have always considered him a leader, not a follower.

Strong Bonds With Others | Boseon has always been able to create strong bonds with others, being both open and honest with people about who he is and who he isn't. There is something very straight forward about the way he greets people, pulls people into big bear hugs, doesn't hide his affection toward others, that makes people like him more often then not. His friends thank his parents, who are more saints than they are people.

Disabilities & Disorders

Easy To Embarrass | The boy is quick to hide his face when he feels he's being teased or someone is making a joke at his expense. Jitae affectionately refers to him as his blushing Baby B.

His Relationship | He's been with Zuleika for almost 10 years now, and while most people would be proud of this fact, especially at their age, he knows the two of them have gone stagnant. On the outside for the whole world to see, they play the happy high school sweetheart role well, but once behind closed doors, there is mostly silence. Not fighting exactly, but complete and utter quiet. They have drifted apart, and to be far, Boseon assumes that he is part of the problem, he can't but also feels let down by Zu-Zu as well. But he doesn't end the relationship because Zu-Zu is all he's ever known, and fears the lonliness that may follow such a break up. Plus, how does one end a relationship with their best friend?

Low Self-Confidence | Once a brimming with ego, he know finds himself questioning his appearance and the way he acts. What has he done for his girl not to be attracted to him anymore? That question plagues his mind at all times.

Naturally Destructive | Sometimes he just breaks stuff. Doesn't matter what it is, he just breaks it. It's usually what happens when he's bored, and he'll just pick up something and break it. He's had to replace multiple phones, he only breaks his own, as well as pays for broken plates, tables, glasses, etc. Everyone yells at him for it.

Known History

Crime

Fighting | 2 Counts

Both happened when he was 17 and were wiped from his record.

Vandalism | 1 Count

Graffitied a large phallic symbol on a billboard. The mugshot was passed around by his friends because he looked so smug. Did 1 year of community service.

Gang Initiation : B basically gravitated towards the gang lifestyle once he became more and more engulfed with his graffiti. He also enjoys the family aspect of being a close knit group.

Known Affiliations

Parents

Rose Choi - Mother [Citizen]

Jiwoon Choi - Father [Citizen]

Friends

Jitae Bae [Best Bro]

Haenim Sohn [Best Friend]

Zuleika Nam [Best Friend/Girlfriend]

Affiliation | Tigers

[soyoureviewhiphoptoo]

Soundtrack of the Week 06/07/2017

Another week, another Soundtrack. I must say that I spent a majority of the week with Jay Z- 4:44 on repeat. Without a single doubt in my mind, I can exclaim that 4:44 is a masterpiece that I urge everyone to listen to (and I urge everyone to read my review on the blog). Not to worry, this will not be my third post in the space of a week where I talk about Jay-Z.  This is the Soundtrack of the Week. (long post inbound)

Calvin Harris- Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 Released June 30, 2017 Label:  Columbia Records

There was a time when I would not have acknowledged Calvin Harris. I would hear his EDM songs randomly on an advert or in the gym and I would just overlook him. His music is not particularly bad (He has some of the better mainstream EDM songs, they’re just overplayed) but they just were not for me. I was not going out of my way to listen to a Calvin Harris song, let alone an album from him….then he released Slide. I was online one day and I saw the phrase “Calvin Harris Ft. Frank Ocean and Migos”. I can openly say that I was very intrigued. I am a huge Frank Ocean fan so I was glad to hear him make music and not disappear after releasing his latest album Blonde and I’ve grown to really like Migos. But I was more intrigued to hear what a song between those four men would actually sound like. Needless to say, I was blown away.

Soon thereafter, Harris releases three more singles Heatstroke Featuring Young Thug, Pharrell Williams and Ariana Grande, Rollin Featuring Khalid and Future and Feels Featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry and Big Sean. Honestly, those songs gripped me and pushed me towards listening to this album. Here’s the thing… Calvin Harris found a way to throw together a group of artists on a song, who have no business being together on paper and make amazing songs that are able to flow right. What I appreciate even more about this album is that Calvin does not give up his artistry on production. He isn’t trying to throw out Hip Hop or RnB beats but he’s sticking to his own wave of EDM and disco beats. Calvin Harris has just entered the DJ Khaled lane of being able to bring in superstar artists on smash hit songs for the summer. Definitely worth a listen.  

RATINGS

Concept: 3/5 Production: 4/5 Lyrical Content: 3.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3.5/5 Repeatability: 4.5/5 Did I enjoy this project? I really did Songs to Recommend? Slide, Rollin, Hard To Love, Feels and Cash Out

Final Rating: 3.7/5

Calvin Harris Featuring Frank Ocean and Migos- Slide The lead single of the album and my favourite song. A mixture of warming Frank Ocean vocals with interesting Migo verses that do not superimpose themselves over the upbeat summer beat.

Iggy Azalea- Switch Released May 19, 2017 Label:  Def Jam Recordings AND Iggy Azalea- The New Classic Released April 21, 2014 Label:  Def Jam Recordings and Virgin EMI Records

Clearly, this is the week where I listen to artists where I would not normally listen to. While Calvin Harris built up intrigue in my mind that drew me in whereas Iggy Azalea is…something else. Here is a lengthy anecdote for you guys. Once upon a time, I was intrigued by Iggy Azalea. When she was on her come up in 2012/2013, Nicki Minaj was the only female rapper in the mainstream (who I am not a big fan of but whatever). I was looking forward to the prospect of someone else coming to take the crown of the top female rapper. Then Iggy released her biggest single to date, Fancy. Now…I was not a fan of the song. The song itself is not bad but it did not feel unique. The beat felt like someone hacked Mike WiLL Made-It’s laptop and took one of the beats from his untitled, throwaway folder (This song was released around the time Mike Will came to his prominence, releasing hit songs with Rae Srummurd and Miley Cyrus of all people) and Iggy’s verse was good (not mind blowing but better than most rap verses on pop songs) but it was overshadowed by the Charli XCX hook which gets annoying very quickly. 

Iggy Azalea Featuring Charli XCX- Fancy The hit single from Iggy Azalea. The music video is reminiscent of 90s high school sitcoms like Saved by the Bell and Clueless. (The benefit of being born in ‘96 is that you are able to catch the great things of the 90s, everyone’s favourite decade)

But there are two instances where my intrigue and liking of Iggy vanished. First, I learned that she was Australian.  “Excuse me, are you a xenophobe?” I have no problem with her nationality obviously. The issue arises when you learn that she is Australian and yet she sounds like a black woman from Atlanta when she raps…that is false advertising and feels disingenuous to listeners. The second issue was that as a pop rapper, she had the possibility of winning several Grammys including the Grammy for Rap Album of the Year. Mind you, she was nominated the year after we witnessed The Heist of the century when Macklemore and Ryan Lewis won the Grammy over Kendrick Lamar (You have got to appreciate that pun, you just have to) so it was highly likely that we were going to get a repeat. Granted, the committee were kind that year and she did not win anything but to even be nominated is weird.

While silly niggas argue over who gon’ snatch the crown Look around, my nigga, white people have snatched the sound This year I’ll prolly go to the awards dappered down Watch Iggy win a Grammy as I try to crack a smile

From J. Cole- Fire Squad What is interesting here is that The New Classic lost to the Eminem album, The Marshell Mathers LP 2. While they are both white artists, are we going to call Em a culture vulture? 

Nowadays, Iggy has pretty much fallen from grace. In the years since the release of The New Classic, Iggy became one of those celebrities that were famous for the sake of fame and not for her music. While she has been chasing after another hit song, she has yet to find that record. It has even resulted to using her large bum and twerking as a way to catch attention (with Booty, a song that she did with J-Lo as a way to catch the attention, Nicki Minaj- Anaconda had secured literally a month earlier and recent singles Mo’ Bounce and the aforementioned Switch).  With news of her latest album, Digital Distortion, being pushed back, her fall is even more apparent (she was slated for a release the same day as Jay-Z most recently, so maybe there was a valid reason for the pushback).  Here is my biggest problem with Iggy Azalea though which became validated when I decided to listen to The New Classic after years of clowning her for being Grammy nominated for mediocre pop music. While the album itself is not bad at all and I liked it more than I thought it would, it doesn’t feel unique. Iggy Azalea as an artist does not feel unique. She is not a bad rapper but there is nothing there that pushes me to listen to her more. She has a good ear for beats but with her production, it feels like she is chasing hype; she is just rapping over what is trending and it leaves the project sounding dated. When you chase hype in your music, you can not build up your own style and you just feel like pale imitations of others who did it far better. 

RATINGS

Concept: 2/5 Production: 2.5/5 Lyrical Content: 2.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3/5 Repeatability: 2/5 Did I enjoy this project? I did but not really Songs to Recommend? Walk The Line, Work and Don’t Need Y’all

Final Rating: 2.4/5

Iggy Azalea- Switch The song is not even that bad. It is a decent club hit but it just feels drab and lifeless as it lacks a unique sound. Besides, in an era of trap music and mumble rap being played in clubs, who is really trying to listen to this?

I have spent a remarkably long time talking about an artist I do not even like that much…so let’s switch it up. (Oh the puns continue!) Nas- It was Written Released July 2, 1996 Label: Columbia Records

This past Sunday was the 21st anniversary of It Was Written so I decided to put this on and give it a revisit (that sounds familiar). While Jay-Z was one of the first rappers I was exposed to as a child, Nas was one of the first rappers I decided to listen during my teenage years as a way of widening my scope of hip-hop music. While I knew of him and heard songs from him, it was not until I played Saints Row 2 and heard N.Y. State of Mind for the first time, that I truly realised I needed to listen to him. I would go on to listen to his first three albums constantly.

Nas’ debut album, Illmatic is regarded as not only his best work but also one of the greatest hip-hop albums of all time. I will never dispute the importance of Illmatic in hip-hop history (it has had a huge impact on my life and I was not even alive when it was released) but honestly, I believe that It Was Written was a better album as a whole.

To date, It Was Written is Nas’ most commercially successful album. While commercial success should not be your standard for considering whether an album is great or not but there are cases when a combination of a style change and a stellar debut brings in more ears than ever.  Gone are the gritty, underground sounds of Illmatic and enters more polished, elaborate funk and jazz instrumentation that helped bring in the mainstream appeal. I have heard a majority of Nas’ discography at one point in my life and it is hard for me to say that any other project has a better sound in terms of production than It Was Written (seeing as Nas’ ear for beats is a running joke in hip-hop, I can say he was on point here).

What puts this album in a lane of its own is the lyrical content. Much like Reasonable Doubt, Nas explores the mafioso rap genre throughout a majority of the songs on this album. Armed with the stellar storytelling ability and impressive lyricism that brought him fame, Nas talks about drug dealing, murder, revenge and being ahead of the competition in such a deep and visceral way that you can close your eyes and visualise yourself in the situations he is describing. While Jay-Z mostly talked about the rewards that the mafia lifestyle brought, Nas talked about the dark and gruesome activities that mafiosos would partake in. The ultimate discussion of this gangster lifestyle actually comes from the perspective of a gun. With I Gave You Power, Nas personifies a desert eagle, who had become the witness of many crimes in the hoods of America, watching as himself and other guns like him are used to cause so much damage to people.

Nas- I Gave You Power

With strong features from Mobb Deep, Lauryn Hill and members of Nas’ short-lived group, The Firm, and production from the likes of DJ Premier, Dr Dre, Havoc (of Mobb Deep) and Trackmasters, It Was Written is a spectacular showing from Nas and is his quintessential album.

RATINGS

Concept: 4.5/5 Production: 4.5/5 Lyrical Content: 5/5 Flow and Delivery: 4.5/5 Repeatability: 5/5 Did I enjoy this project? Of course, I did Songs to Recommend? The Message, I Gave You Power, Take It In Blood, Affirmative Action, The Set Up, Black Girl Lost, Shootouts, Live Nigga Rap, If I Ruled The World and Silent Murder

Final Rating: 4.7/5

Nas Featuring Lauryn Hill- If I Ruled The World (Imagine That) The lead single of this album and possibly one of his most well-known songs. A song that has Nas imagining how he would shape the earth as the ruler.

[tjdelreno]

Final Fantasy XV review

   Sitting in the Regalia you squeeze your leather butt to fart out an Egg–Fried Crustacean Bowl prepared by the Egon of your little royal boy band group. Your hero, Noctis, is on a journey to marry his true love for the good of the kingdom. This is the only time in history a man is on a journey to get married. I thought the story would’ve been a Japanese road trip version of the movie “Saving Silverman”. So Noctis has to fight to reclaim his throne one diner quest at a time. The characters are four archetypes; the brooding teen, the funny guy, the nerd and the jock. Also most of the women’s outfits are from the closet of Lara Croft circa 1990.

   The game play is called “Active X Battle” system, which was designed by an eighth grader who thinks putting an “X” in things is cool. If you have multiple fights I guess it’s called “Active X BattleZ” with a Z which is radical right dude? You can “lock on” to a monster and watch the camera spin out of control like a drunk NASCAR driver. Your other choice is to aim at the creature you’re fighting which is super fun when the monsters jump all over the place and the camera still flies around like a sailor on shore leave. As for weapons you have your choice of sword, gun, giant sword, magic, spear, dagger, shield and auto. Auto is a type of weapon that I would imagine means “automatic” which is a cross bow or a circular saw. Yes a circular saw, the most dangerous automatic weapon you can purchase at Sears beside a snow blower gun. You can switch weapons on the fly like Devil May Cry or Bayonetta but there really isn’t any point since most enemies die by one or two types of weapons so you can switch but I really don’t know why. There are also tombs that have Ancestral Weapons like a sword, mace (the weapon not the spray), axe, swords, (or I should say swordZ). When discovered these implements fly into your body and stay with you like deadly genital warts. I never really used these much because they chip away your health. So it’s a balancing act between do damage or stay alive. Another battle perk is the mighty Summons! Ifrit, Shiva, Leviathan, Titan A.E. or Ramuh Romano come to your side when they feel like it. You see in order to gain their aid you have to fill certain criteria such as fight by water or survive a battle long enough. These are few and far between and feel like a broken random number generator or that crush you invite to your party. You hope they show up only to be sad when they text “That was last night” the next day so you drink Peppermint Schnapps, alone, on the toilet at noon.

   The game is open world with certain mechanics to get you around such as the Regalia, Chocobos and my favorite, running. In the Regalia you drive manually, automatic or fast travel to discovered parking spots. If you auto drive you get to hear your friends banter. Let me tell you there’s no one better at writing small talk than a Japanese design team. It’s so natural, not robotic or unrealistic. You can also manually drive which is just holding down the accelerator and slightly turning the wheel when you need to. It feels like driving a boring roller coaster that goes thirty-five miles per hour and runs out of gas, which is too real for a game. I can’t wait for the D.L.C. where you have to fight a giant Auto Insurance Agent with Flame SwordZ to get good rates! You can also fast travel to locations via parking spots but not to the actual quest location. So there have been quests that you have no choice but to drive there for about five REAL TIME MINUTES! To be fair I got some dishes done and a tweet or two but this is not fun. After a while you can rent a Chocobo by the day for fifty bucks and the more you use them the more they level up and do cool stuff like help you fight and guard you against status ailments. Again, this is just like the Summons and it feels all RNG, which is annoying. Side note, there is a shore town that has the longest boardwalk I’ve ever ran down in my whole life. Of course Chocobos aren’t allowed on the boardwalk because they would leave big stinky Gysahl Green poops all over and that would hurt tourism. Which is a lie because the giant crabs patrolling the beach is the cause of low visitations not bird poop. The load screens are pretty long which in conjunction with actually driving to a quest makes doing side work unbearable. Here’s an example: You’re in a town and you want to go do a side quest, like a hunt. You grab the hunt at a diner after eating Bologna and Shrimp fried in a donut. Now you can only fast travel to a parking spot close to the area, then drive four real time minutes to the side of the road near said destination. Park the car, get out, run or call your Chocobo, get to quest area, try to fight large killer bees that are ten levels below you but somehow you get wrecked and realize you can’t do this side quest yet, run back to the car via legs or Chocobo, get in the car, fast travel to diner, pick up a different hunt. By then the Bologna Shrimp Donuts makes you crap your brains out so bad it feels like Ifrit punched you in the colon. All in all this took five real human American hours, three Japanese hours because they are efficient, and the video game sun went from red to white to red then crescent moon which makes zero sense.

   Leveling up is done through the Ascension system. Which technically isn’t experience points because you get them after fights and quests. They call them AP, Ascension Points. It reminds me of the A.P. Tests, Advanced Placement, you took in school. Meaning play the game well enough and you get to enroll in the sequel. You acquire AP for leveling up like taking long car rides (yay), fishing, setting up camp, taking useless pictures that you can save which is meaningless and finally cooking. Then you get to choose what to level up like combat, magic, good schools, job placement…oh sorry thought it was the AP test again. I put all my skills into fishing because I once heard someone say, “You give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime until he dies and then uses Phoenix Down and rises from the dead”.

   Finally, I did enjoy the game but I couldn’t’ help noticing all the horrible time management disasters that could’ve been avoided. Having to cash in quests one at a time, a ton of running around, mindless long wait times where nothing happens. Another side note, there is a segment where you walk around a moving train for about three minutes real time until you arrive at the station. Nothing happened on the train, zero dialogue, items or battles. You just walked or stood like you would on a real boring train ride. I found myself playing other games while waiting for this game to load. So pick this up if you have the patience of Saint Bahamut and the stomach for a boiled Fish Danish.

Follow comedian TJ Del Reno on social media @tjdelreno and listen to his video game comedy radio show Unlimited Lives Radio on CaveComedyRadio.com.