#zella <3

[bubblegum-hurricane]

2015 was the best year for debut albums. UNMATCHED. You really just had to be there.

[moxxiemybeloved]

Take a valentino edit I js posted on tik tok <3

I love this song so much <33

[ensburg]

First Page Start of Lvl 4

[lvciddreamt]

@lcnelylullabies​

“you said nothing could change the way you felt about me.” 

[cat-berry]

whatever. look at this crunchy picture of my girl <3

[ellieslaces]

CAN’T CATCH ME NOW. three

presenting: umbrella’s hunger games

featuring: leon kennedy x fem!reader

synopsis: after spending your first few days drowning in Capitol grandeur, the training for the games begins. as you begin to prepare for the fight of your life in the arena, you realize that maybe the fight isn’t just for your life, but your dignity. the introduction to the other tributes makes you realize the reality of having to fight them, and possibly kill them. for what is the point of winning and living at the cost of others’ lives?

content warnings: harsh language; strong violence; slight misogyny; class discrimination; slight sexualization; heavy violence themes in this chapter

notes: this chapter contains heavy themes of violence; there are themes of sexualization of the reader by other Tributes and Capitol citizens; some more misogynistic themes; also, I am so sorry this took so long, life has been insane lately

chloe talks: um… hi. wow, it’s been a second. but, yeah, reader and Leon finally meet! the games start next chapter and so does the drama! enjoy! <3

word count: 4.91k

now playing: hypnotic ; zella day

can’t catch me now playlist

previous chapter ; next chapter

There was something overly malicious about this year’s pool of Tributes. The way even the youngest and smallest of the twenty four carried themselves emitted an energy that radiated that they wanted - no, needed - to win. Something about them all made you uneasy — even ones you knew stood absolutely no chance of winning.

And you wished you’d stayed in bed that morning as you stood beside Piers in the entryway of the Training Center. Despite the fact that everyone was just standing around due to the training not having officially begun yet, they all had a violent aura about them.

Your eyes scanned the room, gauging each Tribute. Trying to find ones who were set on being your opponent. However, you knew the other Career Tributes — such as the ones from Two and Three — would want to team up with you. And then betray you at the final moment. Your mind weighed your options as you and Piers walked toward where the group was standing. Until your eyes landed on the Tributes from Twelve.

This was the first time you’d seen either one of them in person. Things at the Tribute Parade had been far too hectic for you to try and see Leon Kennedy or his fellow female Tribute. But here they were. His blond hair stood out in the crowd — despite not being the only blond in the room. There was a certain feeling that seemed to emit from him. Not fear but more apprehension. And it drew you in like a magnet.

“Hey,” Piers mumbled to you as you’d paused in your tracks, eyes wide and set on Leon and Helena. “C’mon.”

You knew Piers was only trying to help you, trying to keep anyone from noticing your immediate attraction to the Tributes from Twelve. It could land you — and Piers — in deep shit in the arena. So, you snapped yourself out of your trance and followed him, standing at his side and trying not to look at Leon or Helena.

This proved difficult however, not giving your attention to memorize each minute detail of him because he was a manner of feet away from you. But, Piers was right. Focus was necessary and essential right now if you wanted to succeed.

The training leader — a man named Robert Kendo who was rumored to be a somewhat guarded and melancholic man who was harsh on Tributes since a few years ago a Victor had lost their mind and murdered his daughter — stepped forward, his eyes dark and set on everyone in the room.

“In a matter of weeks, twenty-three of you will be dead. One of you will be alive.” He started with a gruff voice, the rawness of his statement causing you to grimace. “All of that depends on how well you pay attention over the next three days, particularly to what I am about to say.”

Your brows pulled together at the roughness and seemingly overly honest tone of Kendo’s voice. He had no sympathy, no kindness. But, a part of you appreciated that, he wasn’t one to sugarcoat, and there wasn’t any way to make these events seem less than they were.

“First, no fighting with the other Tributes, you’ll have plenty of time for that in the arena.” Kendo announced, his voice droning as if he was used to seeing people breaking this rule. “There are four compulsory exercises, the rest will be individual training.”

Individual training — something not many Tributes took enough of an advantage of, according to Claire. It was a chance to be trained in private by your mentor, they would give advice and teach you techniques of how to survive once in the arena. It was something you planned to take full advantage of.

“My advice is, don’t ignore the survival skills.” Kendo instructed, his voice becoming harder as he said this, as if it were a warning. “Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die of natural causes.”

Your eyes tracked over to Piers, seeing a grimace on his face. This wasn’t something you were expecting to be told. Yes, you knew it was true that most Tributes died of natural causes or their own stupidity in the arena. But, to have Kendo warn you, it made it more of a real threat.

“Ten percent from infection, twenty percent from dehydration. Exposure can kill as easily as a knife.” His voice was warning, and the gruffness of his words made your eyes scan over through the faces of each Tribute.

Most of the careers didn’t care enough to pay attention to this bit of Kendo’s lecture, but you saw the wide eyes of a few of the kids from lesser Districts. This was the harsh reality of the games — not only the brutality and bloodlust of each Tribute fighting to get out alive, but the fact that the gamemakers craft each arena to be a killer as well.

But what Kendo hadn’t mentioned — and it was likely purposeful that he hadn’t — was the percentage of Tributes which would die by this year’s Mutts crafted for the arena. Every year, around ten percent of the Tributes died via Umbrella’s newest and gruesome creation of Mutts. There was no telling what they would be this year, just as the arena was a mystery.

While the entire prospect of the games, the arena in which you’d be dropped into, and the other Tribute’s you’d be pinned against scared you, the Mutts terrified you more. There was always something about the Mutts Umbrella created, something otherworldly, something gruesome and terrifying that made your skin crawl to simply think about them.

What horrors would you be subjected to? What creatures would chase you through the arena whilst you fought for your life against twenty-three other children, as fought off infection, and dehydration, and starvation? Why would it be fair to present such monsters to make the children who were already terrified more at risk for their life? It wasn’t, and that was what scared you more than twenty-three bloodthirsty people.

“Look at them, they’re itching to get their hands on weapons.” You mumbled as you stood at a screen, testing your knowledge of poisonous plants with Piers beside you.

“Weapons protect you.” He shrugged, watching with wonder as you got each prompt correct, never missing a plant that could kill despite a no lethal one looking the same.

“Knowledge protects as well as a sword, Piers.” You rolled your eyes, tapping the last plant with your finger and the program presented a picture of a S. You’d passed, all thanks to Claire’s training in wisdom.

“I know it’s tempting to use your combat in here,” you started, folding your arms over your chest as you turned to face Piers. “But, you need to brush up on your survival skills too. We don’t know what arena we’ll be put in.”

Piers let out a sigh, his eyes rolling as he stepped forward to the screen as you stepped back, motioning for his turn. His strong suit was far from survival skills. But, he acknowledged that he needed to know these things.

You gave a soft smile, seeing Piers get a few right before he got one wrong. “Just practice. I’ll see you at the apartment.”

Piers let out a grunt of acknowledgment as you smiled a bit before you walked away, leaving him fully concentrated on the task at hand. Your eyes scanned the training center, gauging where to go next. You knew you had an upper hand in this situation, you’d spent the better part of your life being trained by Chris and Claire. But, that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything for you to become better at.

Until you spotted the knife stand and the dummies. You smiled a bit — knives were your specialty. You didn’t know why, but you were best at knives versus any other weapon. Swords were too heavy, lances too long, axes too much work. Knives were small, easy, better for close encounters. Some could be thrown at a distance, and they were silent.

However, your smile dropped as you approached the knife stand, seeing a mop of dirty blond hair studying the knives. It did not take much for you to recognize who this was exactly. Your heart launched up into your throat, eyes going wide as you froze and frowned.

Oh this poor boy, he had no chance. At least, not with the way he was handling the knife in his hand and haphazardly swinging it at one of the dummies. You stood back for a moment before you walked over to the display of combat knives — really there were so many, combat knives, throwing knives, really any type you could even imagine — and picked one of a style you favored before your eyes tracked to the boy again.

“Your stance is wrong,” you spoke suddenly before you could even stop yourself.

The boy turned, the blue of his eyes causing a shock to run through you for a moment before his confused frown brought you back to the present. You stepped forward.

“Your feet are too close together. Someone could easily come at you and you’d fall backward.” You explained, coming to stand closer to him.

“More like this,” you pressed on, showing him how to properly stand with your own feet. Knees bent, feet a little more than shoulder width apart. “See?”

“Like this?” He finally spoke, mimicking your stance. His eyes found yours again, searching for encouragement or some sign that he’d done it right.

“Like that,” you nodded, raising your arms to guard yourself. “Your arm position is important too. Keep your right arm close to your side, and your left up to protect your face and chest.”

Leon slowly nodded, eyes tracking your stance before copying it himself. You stifled a smile as he did it wrong. You straightened, walking over and setting your own knife aside.

“Mm, more like this,” you mumbled, hands gently on his wrist as you guided his right arm closer to his side and then his left slightly more up. “Then sort of hunch your shoulders and lean forward. Good, that’s good.”

Leon’s eyes lit up a bit as you encouraged him. You took a step back, hands at your sides as you looked at him. His eyes followed your movement, brows pulled together. “Why’re you helping me?”

You shrugged, picking your own knife back up and resuming your stance in front of a dummy. “‘Cause you were gonna get yourself killed standing like that.”

“No, I mean why help me. We’re going to fight each other in the arena.” He reiterated, starting to stand straight.

“You deserve a chance.” You offered, before you shot him a look from the corner of your eye and he stopped moving, going back into the stance again. “You have a hammer grip on your knife right now, it’s best for blocking and chopping. It’s a strong grip.”

Leon frowned again, his eyes darting to how he was holding his own knife. It did not go amiss to you how his eyes - icy blue, yet holding a modem of warmth that made your soul want to melt - tracked over your every movement. Hell, it really was all you could think about, all you wanted to focus on.

"If you flip it over," you continued, flipping the knife in your hand in a quick, precise, and well practiced movement. "You have a reverse knife grip. Edge in or out, they both have advantages."

Leon's eyes lingered on your grip on the knife, flicking between it and his own to flip his knife over and mimic your grip. You nodded in encouragement. "Good, like that." Your eyes ticked to the dummy in front of you before you nodded back at Leon, motioning for him to step back. "Stand back a second."

He obeyed, straightening and taking a long stride backward. His eyes left your figure for only a moment to check behind him before latching onto you again. This was when you did something stupid. With your stance corrected and eyes narrowed on the dummy, you rolled out your neck before pressing the button on the stand beside you, the dummy on the stand jerking to life.

Mechanic dummies - costly and overly showy, but useful in training. This one was more ferocious than the ones you used in District One, its arm swinging at you with a blunt knife. You leaned back, dodging before leaping forward in a swift motion, slicing the edge of your knife against the mechanic arm.

The back and forth between you and the dummy did not last long, your moves instinctual and well practiced until the dummy shut down with your boot connecting to its side, as well as your knife lodged into its chest. You yanked out the knife with a grunt, standing straight. Your eyes went wide as you realized multiple of the Tributes had taken notice of your very stupid display of talent. You brushed it off though, remaining blase as you turned around to look at Leon.

The look on his face, the amazement in his eyes, it snatched the breath from your lungs. He made no effort to hide his shock - he looked absolutely mesmerized by the show you'd just put on. Social cues had never been your strong suit, so you just stood there, staring back at him.

"That was," Leon trailed off, almost as if he was unsure of whether or not he wanted to say the words that rested on the tip of his tongue. "Where'd you learn that?"

"My mentor." You shrugged, the words spilling out casually before you could stop them. Heat coursed through your cheeks as you saw the look on Leon's face. You knew you had advantages, being Chris and Claire's charge, having grown up being trained in things Leon only had a matter of days to learn.

"I could, um, teach you." You offered lamely, your words meek and awkward as you said it. Not the wisest offer, but you didn't really know what else to say. Leon shook his head.

"You don't have to do that." He responded, the words sounding harsher to you than he'd probably meant them. The warmth in your cheeks grew, from rejection and embarrassment now. You knew he was saying that because it was true, a nicer way of phrasing the harsh reality - you really didn't have anything to offer him. No amount of training from you or his mentor could save him. Could give him a better chance of survival.

“I don’t mind,” you pushed gently, your shoulders shrugging up as you tried to reassure the boy that it was not as big of a deal to you. But really, it was. Allies were made in the arena in haste. Allies were a falsehood here. No one actually cared about anyone else. In the end, it was an ally who betrayed, not an enemy.

“I know, I just,” Leon hesitated, his body langue taking back that guarded sort of look as he looked away from you. His voice was soft, hesitant, like he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Or make an enemy of you by pissing you off. “My mentor probably wouldn’t like that.”

Right. His mentor — Krauser. He really got the bad draw here. It was said Jack Krauser was ruthless as he was damaged. Both increasingly so. He’d experienced horrors in the games no one quite knew what to make of. In a way, you pitied Leon’s mentor. On the other hand, you hated him because he had a reputation for overexerting and overwhelming his Tributes to the breaking point.

You looked at the boy, studying his face for a moment as a sadness and sting of rejection seeped into your chest. It didn’t show though. No weaknesses, just as Claire taught you. “That is probably true. We are enemies, huh?”

Voice light and playful, you smiled at Leon. Your way of letting him know his rejection hadn’t angered you. It saddened you, however he didn’t need to know that. You placed the knife in your hand back on the stand, head tilted as you turned to smile at him again.

“Yeah, yeah we are.” Leon nodded, recovering startlingly fast with his own playful smile on his lips. A peace offering, a silent and mutual understanding of each other. You decided you liked his smile. Warm and friendly and it made your chest feel fuzzy. Your eyes dropped, hands folded behind your back.

“Good luck, twelve.” You mused, eyes looking back up at Leon with one last smile. The heel of your boot spun on the training floor, your footsteps thumping away from the knife stand. Leaving the boy of your greatest weakness and desires behind.

“Fuck, Chris! Ow!” You screeched, your brows pulled together as you twisted around suddenly, eyes narrowed and hot on your mentor as he walked into the apartment. His hand clapped on your shoulder harshly, a grin on his lips.

“Show off, aren’t we?” Chris grinned, his voice lilting as he came to sit across from you at the dinner table in the apartment. Claire shook her head — but her face betrayed her as she smiled as well. So, someone had spilled about your impromptu lesson to a certain Tribute.

Your eyes cut to Piers who sat to your left, his gaze avoiding yours. Little shit. You shook your head, fork moving around the delicate food on your plate. You offered a one shouldered shrug.

“I didn’t show off, I was just training.” You offered weakly, unbelievingly as you took a bite of the small pasta pearls on your plate. Your eyes tracked over the siblings who sat across from you. They shared a glance. Fucking Piers. Oh you’d kick his little tattle tale ass later.

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Chris nodded, playfully agreeing with your claim as he cut into the meat on his plate. Capitol food was too much for you, too delicate and gourmet. You liked Claire’s simple, home cooking. Your mentor’s eyes looked up at you again, brows raised. “Any particular reason you showed off to one of Krauser’s Tributes?”

“No,” you answered a little too quickly. Great job, good way to hide it. You shrunk into yourself ever so slightly, but it was extremely noticeable to the pair of siblings who raised you. They shared yet another glance. That made you feel as if you needed to defend yourself further. “I just saw him. He was gonna get himself killed if he went into the arena with what he knew.”

“That’s the point.” Claire said, brows raised as her voice was soft, but holding a certain modicum of a reprimanding tone. It made you want to crawl into yourself.

“No, the point is an equal fight to the death. Not sending in someone who can’t hold their own to die execution style.” You retorted, though you kept your words casual with a shrug as if you didn’t feel as passionately as you did for the subject. For Leon Kennedy.

“Actually, sunshine, it is.” Chris rebutted, not without gentle display though. You bristled slightly at the nickname he’d bestowed on you when you were young. He sighed, setting his fork and knife down on the edge of the porcelain plates of which the Capitol chose to serve their extravagant food on.

“The whole point of the Games aren’t a reminder anymore. It’s not a power play, it’s not a political statement anymore. It’s entertainment.” Chris explained, his words cutting through the air and hitting you where it hurt with the weight of their truth. “And sending kids like the ones from Twelve in against kids like you and Piers, it’s just more entertaining that way.”

“I know,” you grumbled, slinking lower into the velvet cushioned dining chair you sat in, dominant hand using your fork to push around the food on your plate. All appetite was lost on you. You’d rather starve than consume the food provided by the people who plotted your death.

And the thing that really hurt about Chris’s words — he was right. He was fucking right. Kids like Leon Kennedy and Helena Harper didn’t stand a chance in that arena. No matter how much preparation, how much optimism. Even the training you offered, nothing gave them a chance. They either had to be very lucky, smart, or have help. And help was unlikely. Very few bet on kids from lesser Districts.

But, as you studied the food on your plate and conversation quickly faded from your dramatic display of kindness in the training room to talk of upcoming interviews, you realized something. Maybe kids like Leon didn’t need external betting on their side. You couldn’t bet, you were a tribute. Mentors and stylists couldn’t bet because it was an unfair advantage. But, you could bet in other ways. You could rig the Games from the inside.

And that fact was more dangerous than any weapon you could wield in that arena.

Despite what you had previously believed, individual training had not been what you woke up and craved for every morning prior to the Games. You loved your one-on-one time with Chris and Claire, yes. It was not just for bettering your skills and knowledge to survive the arena, but a way to see them and spend time with them before your possible demise.

However, it was not what you looked forward to most. It was the group training. Going to the Tribute Center every morning from ten to dinner at five in the evening. Every morning you’d find yourself waking up just after sunrise, tossing and turning until you got tired and bored of laying in the plush bed and would sit up. You’d scroll on the screen on the wall, looking through all the different scenery options, music lists, short films on the history of Panem and the Umbrella Corporation, highlight clips from past Games.

That is, until you’d actually get up and dressed at nine and trudge out into the main apartment. You’d join Chris, Claire, and Piers at the dining table and have breakfast. Something small but nutritious. Enough to keep you going until break at noon in the Tribute Center for a small lunch. Three meals a day — not something most Tributes were used to. Even you some days.

But, for some reason, you adored the group training. Going to the Tribute Center and taking your pick of what to focus on. The options were endless — programs to test your survival skills, crafting stations, gymnastic training, video lectors on hunting and gathering. And of course the all favored and overused weapon choices. There were plenty of weapons to use. Some even you were unfamiliar with.

There were many different types of swords, knives of a wide and endless variety, axes, machetes, spears, tridents, scythes, maces, clubs, sickles, pikes, and even melee’s you couldn’t name. Of course there were no guns. Firearms were one of the few banned subjects and weapons. There were no set rules save for the presence of firearms. And the possibility of cannibalism. Not a subject the Capitol favored. Or anyone really for that matter.

Maybe it was the fact that you could size up each member of your competition that made you love group training so much. Or the ability to spar with live dummies. Or just the simple fact that you got to observe the Tributes from Twelve from afar. Or up close, in your stupider moments.

Piers had taken to endlessly and mercilessly teasing you. He proclaimed the morning of your second training that you must be in love with Leon Kennedy. He claimed that you had heart shaped pupils any time Leon entered your field of vision. A rather dramatic take on things.

You didn’t think what you harbored for Leon was love. No, it couldn’t be because you didn’t know him. You’d exchanged a few words with him, one knife combat demonstration, and an awkward goodbye. Glances were shared across training mats, or smile exchanged at the end of the day. But that was as far as your interactions with him went. So, in your mind, Piers was dramatic.

Except he wasn’t. Claire saw it, the observant cunt. She noticed everything. Even though she wasn’t present for group training, she just knew. She had to be fucking telepathic or something. Anytime District Twelve, its Mentor, or its Tributes were mentioned and you were in earshot, your eyes lit up. You perked up in a way that only meant obsession and adoration. She picked up on your cues, the way you paid extra attention for any breadcrumb of information on the Tributes from the poorest District in the country. And it reached a boiling point the night before the Games.

In private training, you worked not only on combat and survival knowledge, but on how to ace the Tribute Interviews set to air the night before the Games. Your final day in the Capitol was spent with a three hour group training, a lunch break, and working one-on-one with Mentors until the interviews. Which meant upwards of five hours practicing interview questions of a personal variety.

You spent a few hours doing some final knife and combat training with Chris before he sat you down to talk about your strong social points. Something you didn’t think you possessed.

“You’re witty, sunshine. Play on it.” Chris encouraged over a small dinner. It was two hours before the interview. Your stylist team was almost ready to start picking at you until you were a glittery piece of meat.

“No m’not. Claire says my wit is mean.” You said, rebutting Chris’s claims around a mouthful of stew.

Thank God Claire wasn’t there to see the offensively dramatic eye roll Chris gave in response to your claim. “No, it’s not. It’s charming. Just, don’t call the interviewer a pompous asshole and you’ll be fine.”

Easier said than done. That had been the extent of Chris’s advice. Claire’s however, was much more detailed and bossy.

“Smile, a lot. They fucking love it when you smile. Act like this is the biggest opportunity of your life.” Claire instructed, sitting at the edge of your temporary bed, watching as you stood on a pedestal, arms wide out as your stylist team dressed you.

You were done up in another one of Ingrid’s designs. She really liked to play on the peacock theme. This time, it was a long, trailing gown composed of jewels and peacock feathers. It looked more like stained glass in the color palette of a peacock. You actually kind of liked it. Except for the obvious avant garde of it all.

“I don’t wanna smile. Smiling is supposed to be happy.” You bit back, your brows pulled together in a deep frown. For the thousandth time that hour, one of your stylists pressed a thumb between your brows, making you stop frowning and smoothing out the wrinkle. You sighed, they cared too damn much about creased makeup.

“Okay, I know. I know.” Claire nodded, doing damage control, hands held up in a calming manner. She stood, walking over and wordlessly shooing away the team. They all took a step back.

“It not fun, I know. But, act happy. You need sponsors. You need all the help you can get. These kids, they’re vicious this year. I need you to try.” Claire said, voice taking on a softer tone. So, it was dawning on her.

In less than twelve hours, you would be in an arena full of twenty three blood thirsty kids. All out to kill you and take the Victor’s Crown. All merciless. You’d be dropped into God knows what kind of place, filled with horrors you couldn’t even imagine. And it seemed Claire was finally realizing it.

“Just… smile. Be your witty self and fucking dazzle ‘em. Chris and I believe in you.” She smiled softly, her eyes tracking over your face. Her hand came up to cup your cheek. Claire, your ever-mothering Mentor. Your older sister for all intents and purposes. She loved you. And you loved her.

“Dazzle ‘em.” You nodded, smiling at her. You were quick to hug her, arms wrapping around her shoulders and her head tucked under your chin due to the height difference of your shoes and the platform you stood on.

For her, you’d try and dazzle them. Make them love you. Get sponsors. You’d survive. And you’d play your game right. You’d make sure the one who deserved to win would. At any cost.

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[barelymaddy]

General love reading

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

Pile 1

Cards:4 of swords,3 of wands,6 of wands,Judgement(Tarot of the Divine);Release your ex(Romance Angels);Pansy(Botanical Inspirations oracle)

Hello Pile 1!First of all,i feel a very exciting energy coming from this pile,so maybe you feel ready to get back into the dating game!I see that your love life might have been stagnant for a while,maybe even heartbreaking for some,but no worries!Your efforts were noticed by The Universe!You are encouraged to step out and go outside if you didn't already.Try and join as many events and you will notice many people admiring you.Now its the time for you to shine!I get a feeling that you will meet someone special in the near future who will really help you grow.It is possible that some of you will live the fairytale romance that you always dreamed of this summer!No matter what,your love life will certainly not be dull anymore,Pile 1.For some of you,this connection will help you release old lovers or old habits that stayed in the way of your emotional growth.Try to be optimistic and you will surely be rewarded by the universe!There is a lot of focus here on being confident (hot girl summer💅).Im also picking up on fire energy so either you or your person could be a fire sign or things will move very quickly for you.

Other messages:the color orange,ladder, sunrise,bondage,horse,carnaval,mountain,text message,night time,garden

Pansy meaning in flower language:"Think about me"

Song:

Pile 2

Cards:10 of coins reversed,Page of cups,5 of swords,Queen of cups(Tarot of the Divine);Healing family issues(Romance angels);Peony

Hey there Pile 2!So i noticed very quickly that your energy is blocked,which also affects your love life.You recently have gone through a betrayal of some sorts.This person really took advantage of you and made you feel very unstable.Spirits told me that you need to open up your heart to others and seek out help.It is not good to bottle up your feelings.I'm also hearing that this person might have been from your family or your family is an important element when it comes to your love life.This events left you without hope for the future but you mustn't give up!There are lot of amazing things held in store for you!If you learn to open up The Universe will help you to move on and find the love that you always craved for.I'm hearing that a female figure in your life is worried about you and really insistent in talking with you about your feelings.Don't let anybody hold you back from working towards your dream life!Try to appreciate your present a bit more,and you might find some surprises!For some of you,there's a person who has a crush on you but they're refusing to tell you in fear of rejection and because they know that you're going through tough times.No matter what,you'll come out stronger from this, but you don't have to do it alone.There is love all around you you just have to notice it!

Other messages:baby pink,crib,downtown, forest,Last Night in Soho(movie),knife,flowers, napkin,crying session

Peony meaning in flower language:"Anger and shame"/"Prosperity and compassion"

Song:

Pile 3

Cards:Knight of cups,The World,The Hanged Man,10 of cups reversed(Tarot of the Divine);Getting to know each other(Romance Angels);Hyacinth

Hey Pile 3!So it looks like you have been talking recently with a person that you tought will be your future partner but it just didn't work out.The spirits say that you're too fixated on finding love and you need to take a break and enjoy life.Only then you will be able to receive romance into your life.You've worked very far to get here and it would be a shame to not enjoy your acomplishments.Try and give the same attention you give to other people to yourself.You will then benefit from a glow up!You will also start to enjoy your presence so much that you wont even think about love,and then BAM!💥Love will come knocking at your door!I'm also hearing that you need to take things slow.Maybe try to really get to know the people around you instead of romanticizing them.You will be surprised by some of them!(in either good or bad ways).You need to learn to fall in love with the person,not the idea of them you created in your head.I know you may feel very unfulfilled right now in your love life,but it will get better,you just need to learn to choose the right people for you.Don't be a doormat to them!(this was for a specific person lol,their spirit guide was screaming at me🤣).Overall,don't take things too seriously,try to be a bit more playfull and remember to have fun and put yourself first for once!

Other messages:rose garden,greenhouse,water, warm weather,vacation,pink,shopping,Hawaii, cabin,friends,lovers,big birds,Mexico,family time

Hyacinth meaning in flower language : "Constancy"/"Playfulness"

Song:

That's it,hope it resonate with you~

[itneverendshere]

THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - '*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*' the official playlist '*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

💘for my rafe x maybank!reader lovers💘

there's no right way to listen to these, you can chose however you'd like, these are simply the songs i listened to the most while writing <3

the door - teddy swims

me and my broken heart - rixton

the alchemy - taylor swift

sweat - zayn

tatto - lauren

teeth - 5sos

room - lolo zouai

see you later (ten years) - jena raine

the joke - brandi carlile

high - zella day

it happened quiet - aurora

if the world was ending - jp axe ft julia michaels

golden - riley baron

close to you - gracie abrams

roslyn - cullen

enjoy the ride - riley baron

artificial paradise - vlad holiday

fragile tears - awfultune

i love you - billie eilish

forget me // so we can meet again - kieran mckenzie clark

bitter heart - memi, staffan carlén

persephone - tamino

sweet connection - jessica rica

till forever falls apart - ashe, finneas

treacherous - taylor swift

maps - maroon 5

[peachdues]

This has likely been asked but what is the significance of the title “Compass” ?

I heard a song by the neighbourhood called Compass and thought of the story right away:

“If I don't have you with me, I'm alone. You know I never know which way to go. I think I need you with me for all-time. When I need new direction for my mind”

“You're always there to help me when I'm down. I'm lucky you've been keeping me around. You're the star I look for every night”

Anyway loved the story and looking forward to pt 3!

Hello!!

The idea behind “Compass” is mainly an embodiment of Sanemi being sort of lost to himself. His love of Reader is ultimately what may start guiding him back. There are a couple of quotes from chapter 1 and 2 that showcase this —

Chapter 1: He mouths I love you against your hairline — he does not voice it, not yet, though it’s what he feels. But your love is a compass that just might point him down the road the leads to a life he so desperately wants; to you.

Chapter 2: That had all been before; he’d lost himself somewhere between the stench of his burning flesh and the black, twisted underbelly of the Corps. And it wasn’t until you appeared that Sanemi had dared to wonder whether he might find his way back to himself.

Sanemi has completely lost his sense of self in giving himself over to the Corps. That’s why chapter 2 was so heavily focused on him — to showcase the inner struggle he’s having between the identity he’s forged in his role as Hashira versus the person he wants to be/the life he desires.

Other than that, I did listen quite a bit to the song Compass by Zella Day when writing the first time scene in Chapter 1! But from the looks of it, this song by the Neighborhood is also fucking perfect??? Oh my god. That absolutely reflects their dynamic to a fucking T!!

I will be adding this to the playlist — thank you!!

[dragonsholygrail]

Do you have any monster OCs? or any OCs at all? :o

You are opening Pandora’s box with this question, my love. Goodness gracious, I’m gonna put it all under the cut because the answer is yes, I have many OCs both monster, cyborg, and otherwise!

Thank you so much for asking btw, it was super sweet of you <33

If anyone would like to send in any asks about these then I’d be more than happy to talk about them 👉🏼👈🏼

Tumblr OCs

So, starting off with on my blog, I have 2 OCs! I have Demon Prist, my special boy. His story is that he is a fallen angel who is desperately trying to get back into Heaven and God’s good graces when you come into his life. He’s convinced you’re a gift from God for his devotion all these millennia as you take his pain away.

I also have Ghost bf whose name is yet to be revealed although I do have one! His story (lore drop!) is that when moving to a new city, you’re looking for an apartment and you find him! The two of you talk for weeks before agreeing to a sort of trial run. But before you can get there, Ghost bf dies and you show up to an empty apartment and you expect him to be back soon. When he reveals himself to you the two of you contact each other in weird ways and fall in love along the way.

More to come too!

Book OCs

Then I also have Monster OCs that I would like to introduce here and later possibly turn into books! The first being Wren and Emery. Wren is a bigender Eldritch monster whose favorite show is a monster hunter show where they find monsters and study them. Not actual hunting. Emery was the host of this show with her bf Jonah when a bad werewolf accident happens and Jonah kind of takes over the show. Wren decides to invite the show to his manor to essentially… catch him. All in order to help Emery. It’s very rom-com vibes. Wren and Emery are the main couple (Jonah is bad)

I have Delilah and Augustine with their friends Ivory and Sivan. I want to write their story through an anthology. It’s basically flustered vampire x bimbo human. Delilah is insanely smart, she’s a mortician ironically. But she misses a lot of things right in front of her, hence the bimbo type personality. So it’s a collection of like Augustine constantly getting caught being a vampire bc he’s not smooth or sneaky (anymore) and it just doesn’t click for Delilah. Which makes Ivory, her best friend that’s also a secret vampire, insane. She’s a hypocrite but her and Auggie have a fun dynamic.

Thirdly, I also have Zella and Senén. Sen is a hybrid wolf who ran his own mafia when his men thinks he betrayed them and the cops are on his tail. So hides as a puppy hybrid in England with an American woman named Zella who’s there looking after her sick grandmother. He has to maintain his facade even as he finds it all super demeaning. But he falls for Zella and starts getting comfortable in this new life when trouble turns its head back around on him.

Next I also have this idea for a futuristic serial fiction that would span over at least 100 chapters. It’s sci-fi fantasy. Think Nimona-ish but darker. It’s ultimately kinda cyberpunk but from the opposite perspective of it for the most part. It follows Nora or Noor and she’s in the II (Iridium Imperium) also known as the eyes. It’s a guild that protects the city like law enforcement and they’re all cyborgs with special magical gifts. Their whole city runs on guilds it’s a requirement to be in one within city limits. Only those with magical gifts can join The II. The story covers the climatic and intense downfall of The II and ultimately Nora herself as everything she’s ever known is destroyed and she’s the last to accept it if she ever really does. She has at least 3 romantic partners over the course of the series but I’m unsure if I want her to end up Ren, her enemies to lovers man from outside the city limits who understands her far too well, her ex Gio who abandoned her in order to join the resistance but always comes back for her whenever she needs him, end up with them both in a throuple, or if she should end up alone! It’s a huge world and many OCs within this world.

The working title of this next one is called Grimoire Gargoyles! It features Giselle who’s a librarian working in France at a super old library. She finds herself in the restricted section and reads out loud from a book. Accidentally releasing two French Revolution Gargoyles from their prison stuck on top of the library. Now that Francois and Bastien are free they try and leave but find themselves drawn back to Giselle. Revealing themselves to her she isn’t afraid given that monsters are a normal sight in their world. Though Gargoyles have been extinct since the Revolution. Together they work together to try and finish the spell to release them from their curse and fall in love along the way.

More include a heist trilogy with a Dragon jeweler for the King and a thief, a dryad who accidentally performs a mating ritual with an ancient dragon at a festival celebrating his supposed vanquishing, a vampire stalker who stalks a human after tasting her blood for the first time but then stops and she starts stalking him bc she’s upset he stopped stalking her, a dragon hybrid and a griffin hybrid who exchange mating symbols as kids and basically betroth themselves to each other but he’s meant to marry her sister and years later they go through the marriage trials together not knowing it’s impossible for him to marry someone else.

Other Book OCs

My oldest OCs are from last November and it’s called Crafting Constellations. It’s an elf world and all high fantasy. The first book follows Soleil and Peracles. Peracles is the heir to a Kingdom that’s only ever had female rulers and Soleil is his general. They have a forbidden romance going on and have to work together to figure out the evil plot against the crown by an unknown force. See art of them here. Its sequel features Cane, Peracles’ royal advisor and Soleil’s ex, in his heartbreak when he saves Pera from being poisoned. He gets into an enemies to lovers with Pera’s assassin named Astraea. Then the third book features the antagonist as the main character Nova and she kidnaps Viyan, a co-worker of sorts with Astraea in order to get revenge. Then I have a secondary series featuring all 4 of Peracles’ brothers with love interests. Also a prequel that’s a sapphic tragedy with Peracles mother and her own general.

Then my second oldest OCs named Prudence and Narada. It’s another sci-fi fantasy series. Prudence is a part of a faction that has the power to get into another persons mind and read it and control it. A long time ago her faction was deemed too dangerous to stay alive so they made them extinct. And for over 100 years they’ve been living in secret and pulling the strings of their entire world Janeus. Her coven sees into the future and ensures fate stays on course. So they kill the emperor of one of the empires so that his son takes over: Narada. Prue goes there, hiding her eyes as their powers are revealed through eye color. And she successfully manipulates him but they fall for each other along the way and she ends up betraying her coven and revealing herself and their plan for the young emperor. Prue is convinced that she can fix things and manipulate fate all on her own but their world slowly begins to perish and she realizes her mistake. When she gets a “chosen one” prophecy with herself as the one to defeat, she learns to accept fate and that you can’t control it as she thought.

More include a fae hunter x fae lord that’s kinda similar to Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride lol, two demons and a human working at a casino and underground fighting ring that helps them hide from the world when their pasts catch up to them, and a biblical apocalypse where the world is split into the seven deadly sins and the Lord of Greed and a man working for the Lord of Lust inadvertently work to bring the second coming of Christ.

And I’m sure there’s even more that I’ve forgotten or that have slipped my mind!! I have so many plots in my head that it’s hard to focus on any of them lol.

[markedbyindecision]

thanks to @iliveinprocrasti-nationn for tagging me!

shuffle your 'On Repeat' playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people

1. A Cautionary Tale - Mean Girls (Original Broadway Cast)

2. About You - FLETCHER

3. Red Wine Supernova - Chappell Roan

4. Never Lose Me - Flo Milli

5. Stupid Love - Jason Derulo

6. pretty isn’t pretty - Olivia Rodrigo

7. ENEMY - ILLUMISHADE

8. AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM - Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar

9. Jerome - Zella Day

10. What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

tagging @sprqpointintern @purlturtle @thingsofbronze @tinygrumpshaw @red-priestess-of-scully-romanov @winterrhayle @crime-wives @figsandfandoms and anyone else who wants to!

[the-raging-tempest]

Thank you for the tag Dujour 💕 @dujour13

As you know I can’t pick favorites so I’m going to do them both. An excuse to post about songs in my frankly insufferably long playlists for them. This is such a long post that I will let the song and lyrics choices be unexplained. Unless people are truly curious haha

I’ll tag @aelyosos @bearvanhelsing @thesolemnhour @amatres @undyingembers

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song

Lariel

1. Hey, Who Really Cares - Linda Perhacs

"Hey now, who really cares Hey, won't somebody listen Let me say what's been on my mind Can I bring it out to you I need someone to talk to And no one else would spare me the time"

2. People Are Strangers - Zella Day

"You're only alone for a little while So do what you can to sit back and smile They tell you that they'll never tell you a lie Put you in a spell to get you on their side They're trying to hide, but they're crossing the line And it's bad behavior"

3. Run Devil Run - Haunted Like Human

"Call her prophet, call her priestess, call her witch or patron saint But we know Jesus ain’t around no more and there’s people needing saved Don’t think God’s got any part of it, no holy books or ancient tongues There’s bottle of fire in her hand, and there’s fire in her lungs"

4. Closer - The Tiny, Elle-Kari

"Then you're close enough to lose Close to the point where you know that your mind It can not choose Close enough to lose Close enough to lose Your heart"

5. Simmer - Hayley Williams

"Control There's so many ways to give in Eyes closed Another way to make it to ten Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy? Gotta simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer down"

6. You in a Place for a While by Yourself - Voice Coils

"Sometimes I find myself hearing verses from other songs Melodies I heard in a dream where your eyes turned white And I felt like loosening off of the centaurs in me And those songs sustained through our minds until we were silent Hooves heard by the drift outside"

Zrise

1. Favoured Son - The Mechanisms

"I can pay your way If your part you’ll play In service to the family As my favoured son" Buy a life eternal with my (your) bloodied hands In service to the family as the favoured son"

2. Rex - Brutus II - The Buttress

"Mothers will kill their own daughters And friend will kill friend It's not cruel or loveless or hatred Cause even if it means I must erase you I do so for the good of the many of those who must remain so please forgive me!"

3. Heartless - The Weeknd

"'Cause I'm heartless And I'm back to my ways 'cause I'm heartless All this money and this pain got me heartless Low life for life 'cause I'm heartless Said I'm heartless Tryna be a better man but I'm heartless Never be a wedding plan for the heartless Low life for life 'cause I'm heartless"

4. Thank You for the Venom - My Chemical Romance

"You'll never make me leave I wear this on my sleeve Give me a reason to believe So give me all your poison And give me all your pills And give me all your hopeless hearts And make me ill You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will"

5. SLAY!! - Paledusk, Hideyoshi

"SLAY!!SLAY!!SLAY!!SLAY!! I'm your slayer 茶割り飲み We're getting higher SLAY!!SLAY!! あんま気にせんや ニアサイド 飛び込んだコーナー"

6. Sick, Sick, Sick - Queens of the Stone Age

"First thing we succumb to Shall erase and undo Days are unreleased, if there's no release Please just let me do whatever fits you Make something, make someone Beg on a knee, baby, baby please Pout your bottom lip while cracking the whip You know what we want, it's candy to cum to"

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 6 of my fic. Thought I'd feed y'all a little early. Enjoy reading!)

Part 5 ↓

JAMESON

Oren was here. So was Grayson. After getting yelled at, Avery left. She looked so sad and forlorn, he couldn't bear to look at her. Grayson took the first chance to talk to Jameson alone,

"what are you doing, Jamie? What do you have planned?" Jamie translated that to mean 'when are you going to come home?'

"I have planned, let me check, oh yes! Nothing," he said, using his signature smirk as a shield.

Grayson opened his mouth, then closed it, waited. "Are you breaking up with her?"

The eye contact was more than enough for an answer.

"I need space. I'll come back, don't worry about me."

------------------------------------------

That evening, when boredom overtook him again, Jameson found himself back at the devil's mercy. He'd gotten himself an apartment in London specifically for this reason. He genuinely enjoyed being a member. It was also the one place he couldn't be followed by Avery, or run into her. Zella wasn't here today, neither was Simon or anyone he knew, except Rohan. That bastard would jump at any chance to peeve him.

"I really should have placed a bet on the likelihood of you breaking up with Ms. Grambs. Would've filled my pockets."

God, he was infuriating. Why had Jameson come here?

"And I should have placed a bet on the likelihood of you shutting up, Rohan, would've filled my purses."

"Always the defender, Ms. Sinclair."

Jameson hadn't realised when a woman had come and sat next to him.

She was wearing the same historical garb-like dress every woman around here wore. Her long dark blonde hair fell in waves over her shoulders, which was unnatural around here, considering the few women that were there were too prim and proper to keep their hair as such. It was a minor detail, but one that made him feel she liked to defy.

Jameson spoke for the first time in a while, "Not that you would need the money, anyway, I presume."

The way she answers that was a clear insight into her. Most people here were money-hungry, or power-hungry, or greedy, prideful, meek- many distinguishing factors. Truthfully, Jameson had everyone in the room pegged about 4 seconds after he met them. Not this woman though, and it was unsettling him.

She just looked down at her cards that dealt her in and smiled.

She looked at him, still smiling grimly, then leaned in, "your attempt at trying to read me through my answers is… run-of-the-mill, at best."

That stole Jameson's attention. It surprised him. Things hardly surprised him anymore. It felt nice, except his mind reverted back to a certain ex-girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend. It still didn't sound right to him.

"You need to read people instantly after you meet them because you're scared they'll show their true colours later, surprise you, and make you feel stupid and ordinary."

That struck him like an arrow. The woman, however, seemed to genuinely regret saying that, "apologies. I seem to have gone too far," she amended.

"A psychologist?"

"Just an underestimated woman, I'm afraid."

Who is she?

"Cinq" she suddenly uttered.

"What?"

"The cards. Cinq. I win." She looked at Rohan who nodded and handed her the chips.

Before he could add to that, she got up, "I'm running late, boys. Like always, I'll see you soon."

She pulled out a card.

"Though I'd like to see you sooner."

She had a mischievous glint in her eye, and before long, it was gone with her.

Jameson put it in his wallet and forgot about it. There was a lot of healing to do before moving on.

------------------------------------------------

Jameson dreamt of Avery again that night. Even after saying his goodbye, she still haunted him everywhere he went. Every 5"6' brunette on the street, every coffee cup from her favourite coffee shop in London. He hadn't even changed his wallpaper that was a candid of her laughing.

And that was the problem. She was still… her. So her. Just too burdened. But that wasn't an excuse.

Avery was… calling him. Wait

Avery's calling me.

"Hello?"

"I'm outside."

"Avery, please. Just leave me-" Jameson said, walking toward her standing outside.

With a hot air balloon.

"Hop on."

"We're broken up."

She looked like someone had just stabbed her. How many times was she going to make him repeat the same painful thing?

"One date. Just one, please."

He sighed, "why?"

"Why won't you let me go? The you I've seen the last few years would've been about as interested as a porcupine is cuddly."

"I can't. I can't even think of letting you go. I have so many versions of my dreams for the future, and they all end up with you. I chose you a long time ago. I want to choose you again and make you feel it too."

"Just one date, mystery boy. I'm begging you."

-----------------------------------------------

Avery might just be better than Jameson at planning dates. It was perfect.

Staring with the hot air balloon ride where he had to take over because she almost crashed them down. Bunjee jumping in Perthshire. Abseiling. An insane game of dares. Ending with them sunbathing on the shore of the cove, with chocolate-covered strawberries and stars in a bottle.

"I liked today. Wait, no. I loved today" he might still have his reservations, but he needed to tell her that. She held his hand and squeezed it gently.

"Me too." After silence and a few more strawberries, "Will you please come back with me now? We really need to be home."

Jameson's relaxed face suddenly adopted a frown.

"Why? What's so important that we need to go back?"

"I can't stay away too long."

"It's been, like, 4 days." Avery said nothing. Jameson abruptly got up. She did too.

"This is just a chore to you isn't it? An inconvenience."

She went pale again, "No. Jameson, no. I came all the way here looking for you, trying to get you back."

"I never told you to. But what your doing right now? It's worse."

"I waited for 5 years before choosing myself for once, Avery, and you're tired in 4 days? Do you think you can get your heart broken with every perfunctory kiss and every interaction merely a formality, and live with it?"

"I did not mean it like that when I said I want us to go home. I just want things to be the way they were, Jamie, please."

"No. You need to leave. For good."

[pebblysand]

hello! you may find the entire playlist on spotify here. below is some more information on my song choices.

Castle by Eminem: if you have finished the fic, you will understand. if you haven't, i don't want to spoil you :).

Things We Lost In The Fire by Bastille: it's funny, i'm a massive bastille fan but it didn't really hit me how castles that song is until i went to see them live last summer. i remember being in the crowd and thinking to myself: god this is so on point. i think the lyric that gets me most is: the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again. there's such a dichotomy to that and it's so representative of what is happening in this chapter, which is harry and the trio sort of reconning with the concept of time and the post-war state of things and: now what? the excitement of: we survived and the future's in our hands, but also we'll never be the same again because we lost all these things (people) in the fire (war). i just find it very apt.

O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: firstly, i love that song, i thing it's beautiful and it just nails that post-war tone of the early chapters. the cleaners are coming one by one, they measure the room, they know the score, etc. secondly, this is obviously the harry& hermione song, which is a massive vibe and plot point of this chapter. i will defend the dance to my dying day, i think it's one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole film and those who don't like it because of the harmony vibes are wrong. that's it 😅.

UNHEALTHY by Anne-Marie: this is a more recent addition, but doesn't this song kind of have early harry/ginny vibes? i'll let you listen and be the judge.

Wonderwall by Oasis: harry mentions oasis in this chapter, so of course i had to add this. i have listened to this song so much in the past 20 years, i can't even tell if i like it or not. anyway, here's wonderwall 😅.

Pompeii by Bastille: ah. the infamous break down of everything. as i've already said, absolutely love bastille, and this one is a classic.

Shadow Preachers by Zella Day: i added this one more recently but i feel like it also had very strong early harry/ginny vibes. i also like that it sounds a bit similar-ish to pompeii in that sort of break down of everything vibe. there's a sort of desperation to that song that i feel really fits well.

Place de la République by Coeur de Pirate: firstly, if you think of coeur de pirate as comme des enfants and don't know anything else from her, i am begging you to open to your heart to her other songs/albums, she's incredible. secondly, i've always loved this song. it so well captures this sort of regretful break up situation where she is breaking up with someone because of distance and giving them one last chance to show up and they don't. i feel like it's very much a ginny song in chapter 3, this way she doesn't really want to break up with harry but has to. it's just 😫.

Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi: i've gone back and forth a lot on this song, whether to include it or not. it's almost Too Much. but, also, harry is a bit Too Much in this, so it just fits.

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths: this is... very literal, i don't think i need to explain. i will say, for a very long time, i didn't know where the french bits were from. it sounded like some sort of documentary about suicide, which i thought was odd, but it's actually a reading of the myth of sisyphus by albert camus. i've never read it because i've only ever read camus's fiction, but he is one of my favourite french authors, so i was happy to find that out. it works with the song incredibly well, obviously.

Hell or Highwater by Passenger: we're back with the break up songs. i love this one because it very much is about the confusion and the not knowing what caused the break up, which i think is very fitting for harry, here. i also just love the writing in this song, the way he uses the "hell or highwater" saying in a different way - it's a song i very much love, even outside of castles.

Six Degrees of Separation by The Script: idk, this song has such strong 2000s vibes, and it's so break-up-y dramatic - it just fits, you know? 😅.

Giants by Dermot Kennedy: this playlist supports irish artists! ✊🏻 jokes aside, i kind of see this song as having a bit of a double-meaning here. like, of course, it's hinny break up song and plays - again - to that lack of understanding (we used to be giants, when did we stop?) but i also see it as reflective of harry's broader state of mind. it's this post-war confusion of: we used to do these great, important things, and what is our purpose, now? obviously, this first arc is very much about finding a reason to live after the war, so i feel like this song works for both plotlines.

As It Was by Harry Styles: i'm not a massive harry styles fan so the first time i ever heard this song was when he was on tour and the 'LEAVE AMERICA' trend was all over tiktok. and, i don't know, the moment i heard the song as a whole i was like, 'fuck, this is such a castles song!' especially of that early, post-war, confused era of: 'harry what are you doing sitting at home on the floor, what kind of pills are you on?' it just had to be in this playlist.

Fear of Fear by Passenger: this song is just a mood. i feel like it could play over a montage of the weeks passing in chapter four, and harry just going to work, trying to sleep, and going running in the night.

Le vent nous portera by Noir Désir: there's two reasons why this song is here. firstly, i feel like it signifies healing and the passage of time, which works very well with this chapter. it's a gorgeous song and has this idea of the wind just blowing the hardships away, an "it'll be alright" motto that i love. but also, what my international audience might not know is that this song is highly controversial - bertrand cantat, the lead singer of the band, beat his girlfriend - french actress marie trintignant - to death in 2003. he was arrested, went to jail - if you are french, just know that i'm not going to get into the Debate of whether he should still played/be listened to, etc. we all have our opinions and whichever way you're leaning i'm not going to change yours but i just wanted to note that i wouldn't have put this song in the playlist for any other chapter. but with the added theme of DV in the case giulia and harry work on here, i felt it was fitting.

Brave by Sara Bareilles: this is obviously giulia's pep-talk song haha! harry, get out of your rut, and be brave. i love it.

You're Not Special, Babe by Orla Gartland: i love this song. and, again, it's very giulia. i feel like both of these last songs for this chapter have this vibe of her telling harry to just get off his arse and do something, which is what he needed at that point. quit moping around, quit blaming yourself, you're not that special. it's really the kick off, onto chapter five.

Insomnia by Ren: ah, ren. if you've been following the playlist for a while, you will have noticed that i had a major ren moment between the end of 2023 and the start of 2024 and added, like, fifteen millions of his songs to the playlist. i feel like castles generally has such a ren "vibe" to it, which is wild because i didn't find him until well into writing the story. this song has this incredible line: i used to use drinking as a way to stop thinking and my problems with drinking made me feel like i was sinking, so i dried up my drinking and then i couldn't sleep a wink, and now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking about nothing. fucking nothing. and everything and nothing - i hate not sleeping. this is so on point for this chapter, which has harry's insomnia stalking those post-war months, and i absolutely love it.

The Last Unicorn by Passenger: ah, the first mia song 😫. my child. this is so scarily on point.

J'écoute du Miles Davis by Navii: this is really one of the core, OG castles songs as far as i'm concerned. i remember listening to it on loop very early on, writing the early chapters. i love the chorus of 'Et le temps passe' (and time passes) - it's this factual statement that i feel is very castles. "Time just - passes."

The Way I Am by Eminem: i was so mad to find out i couldn't use this song in text because it came out in 2001. obviously, very related to the press, fame, etc. which are topical for this chapter.

Dominoes by Ren: i added this one fairly recently. it's one of those songs that isn't precisely topical to the chapter itself, but i really liked the riff of "we fall like dominoes, dominoes, falling". it echoes that thing harry says about how he's afraid to fold because if the "leader" falls, then everyone comes cascading down. i felt like there's an interconnection in that song that resonates, here. and also, i think the thing about public perception and body shaming is also somewhat related to the treatment of girls in harry's life in the press.

Read All About It, Part III by Emili Sandé: i thought most people would already know this song because it was featured so prominently in the 2012 London Olympics, but i suppose it still didn't make it to america, 'cause i've had quite a few comments from people saying the playlist was the first time they'd heard it. anyway, it's obviously about harry using his voice and finally talking to the press, and it's amazing :).

Babylon by Barns Courtney: the vibes of this song feel like the fall of a civilisation and "the walls are caving in, you're paying for your sins" and... yeah. idk, i see this as the theme song to the whole battle scene at the lace mill.

What He Wrote by Laura Marling: this was always Giulia's "song" in my head, i'm not even sure why. it's got nothing to do with her but just based on vibes. i listened to this on loop writing her death. and, also, the connection with Peaky Blinders, which heavily inspired the first act of castles.

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens: this is just... a beautiful song about death lol. how cheerful 😅.

All My Tears by Ane Brun: and... another one, lol. also, another connection to PB.

Jimmy by Moriarty: i only have two songs for this chapter, probably because it used to be paired with chapter six so i initially didn't think of it as an independent item. anyway, this is one of my favourite songs in the world, and it's recently come to my attention that it fit quite well in here, with this idea of "coming home" (to the burrow, in harry's case. i feel like it works well with the general mood of the chapter.

CORALINE by Måneskin: ah. coraline, coraline, di me la tua verita... this is the beginning of harry, and ginny, and the letters, really.

Zombie by The Cranberries: canonically, Mia is a fan and while two cranberries songs are mentioned in this chapter, i always felt like this one fit better. first, because it's about a civil war that, in many ways, resembled the wizarding war. second, because i've always sort of thought as amycus as a bit of a zombie. like, he's dead but he still plagues ginny (and later harry) with the things he's done and their ramifications.

Rather Die by Barns Courtney: obviously, i'm a massive fan of barns courtney and i've always felt this song is very ginny during the war. basically, 'i'd rather die than give in.'

Repeat After Me by KONGOS: this song is obviously about the absolutist christian faith and someone trying to escape it, but i think there's something so rhythmic about it. in my head, i could see it playing over a montage of the DA pulling off stunts, getting attacked, getting back up again, fighting again, losing again, etc. there's also the 'repeat after me' of indoctrination that could very much apply to the ministry's propaganda. i remember listening to this song so much as i was writing this chapter, just to remind myself of the relentless sort of pacing i wanted to achieve.

Dopamine by Barns Courtney: okay so. this is the song of this chapter. i know it feels like it's not really about this chapter (it's clearly about drug addiction) but you cannot possibly imagine the number of times i listened to it as i was writing. i don't know. i love everything about it. the loud rock and instrumentals, the production, the lyrics. if we end it all, at least you're by my side. we could never die. and this: it's always the same. see the drink couldn't wash out the taste of your name. i literally think it's one of my favourite songs ever, and one of my favourite sentences ever written. i think in my head it's a bit about ginny sinking, about amycus, about harry. about everything. i would say dopamine is probably one of the most important songs in this playlist. i am so attached to it.

Thirteen Thirtyfive by Dillon: and... the last song. i will say this: i have since learnt that this song is about a woman who has lost a child (either through miscarriage, abortion or death after birth, it's not clear) and is reminiscing about what her life could have been. that is... not how i initially interpreted it. you may listen and come to your own conclusions. if you interpret it like the above, maybe it fits with pansy's story. if you don't... well. you'd be thirteen, i'd be thirty-five, gone to find a place for us to hide. be together but alone, as the need for it has grown. make of that what you will.

Formidable by La Bronze (Stromae cover): god, do i love this song. and god do i love this cover almost more than the original. i love how she made it less sad and more angry with the more rock-like music, as well as the sound of arabic. it works So Fucking Well. the chorus of this song sort of says it: we were incredible.

The Kid I Used to Know by Arrested Youth: just one of those songs i used to listen to on loop while writing/planning that arc of castles. i do think of this time in this fic as the formal end of harry's childhood, when he finds out about ginny and realises that all their innocence has gone. so long to the kid i used to know.

Hold On by Ren: i feel like there's such a restlessness in this chapter that you also find in this song. this sort of endless torrent of stuff coming harry's way, and him trying to... get through it and hold on.

Blind Leading The Blind by Mumford & Sons: i had originally put this one in for chapter nine, but i actually think it's more of a chapter ten song. welcome to the trials, aka the epitome of the blind leading the blind.

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? by Arctic Monkeys: ah. were you also a teen in the early 2010s? welcome to the song. obviously - very harry & ginny in this chapter.

Falling Is Like This by Ani DiFranco: i've always adored this song ever since i discovered it referenced in another fic. it's where i got the idea of the car running off a cliff in last chapter - it's also very heavily referenced in this chapter. think of it like a transition song lol. just such a Mia mood. falling is like this.

Je suis un homme by Zazie: i was looking for a song this morning to operate the transition between falling is like this and the kids are all rebels, and i settled on this one. judge me all you want but i love zazie, and i think this works quite well with the beginning section of this chapter that is a little bit like the song: humans and their institutions going round in circles.

The Kids Are All Rebels by Lenii: i loooove lenii. she's irish (🇮🇪🥳) and this song is such a DA song. there's this dimension of youthful idealism hitting the brick wall of adulthood, and the things they see the government do which they're not happy with. the song itself was written about trump's covid policies, but it fits so well here too!

Anthem by YOKANA & Barns Courtney: i think this is self-explanatory. harry is starting to doubt his "no comment" strategy...

Statues by Alexandre Desplat: we're... starting a new war in courtrooms, aren't we? jokes aside, it's probably my favourite music from the films, very war-coded, it makes me want to rise up to battle, so.

Remember the Name by Fort Minor & Styles of Beyond: there's something about the relentless rhythm of this song that i just love for the end of this chapter. like: LET'S GOOO!

Legendary by Welshly Arms: i see this as the DA's song, too, you know? not just harry. they're all doing something legendary.

Till I Collapse by Eminem: this is one of my favourite eminem songs, and i think it fits really well with the beginning of this chapter. the onslaught of press coverage regarding harry's and the DA's actions, and their common desire to push through no matter what.

Instant Crush (feat. Julian Casablancas) by Daft Punk: i actually wanted to put da funk in this playlist (which is the song mentioned in the fic) but i chose not to subject you all to five minutes of lyric-less late-naughties techno music 🤣. i also feel like putting this right after Till I Collapse is a bit of an insult to eminem ("you don't know me, you're too old, let go - it's over, nobody listens to techno" 😅), which is a bit funny lol.

Teenage Culture by SKYLAR: it's funny, i listened to this song on loop the summer of 2023 but didn't really find an excuse to add the song to the castles playlist until it finally hit me now that it was per-fect for this chapter. i love skylar and i love this song, it's so tongue-in-cheek and yet lyrically incredibly clever. i think this is such a teenage anthem and fits so well for this chapter, both in the "partying" side of it, but also in a the-kids-are-all-rebels sort of way. i just absolutely love it.

Everyone's at It by Lily Allen: i've just realised this is the first lily allen song in this entire playlist which, if you know me and how much of a lily allen stan i am, is wild. i stole some of the lyrics of this song for the chapter; it's about the double-standards that exist in dealing with drug addiction, which ginny talks about a bit. it's a song that was very important in opening my young eyes on this topic, when i was a teenager. i feel like it also goes so well with the SKYLAR song, it's like the millenial-advocate-y song to SKYLAR's gen z, more apathetic/don't-care take.

all the good girls go to hell by Billie Eilish: i have a very strange relationship with Billie Eilish's music where i listen to her only for very specific occasions and moods, but i do love that song. and, idk, i kind of see it as a symptom of ginny's slight "descent" in this chapter, where under the surface, partying and sleeping around begins to be less "fun" than it used to be. there's something weirdly haunting about Billie Eilish's music (esp the first album, that i feel fits here).

Any Other World by Mika: i added this song to the playlist rather recently but if you are a the good wife fan, it will of course sound familiar. i think i was looking for a song to finish off this chapter and recently was lucky enough to see Mika play live in dublin, and thought it just fit. it's neither really a love song nor a political song, it's a third thing, and i think it's really symbolic of the conclusion you reach at the end of this chapter of "say goodbye to the world you live in". i think this chapter is really the point of no return, this sort of deep realisation that nothing will be the same anymore. it's also the halfway point of the fic (in terms of chapters), so i reckon it works.

Un peu d'espoir by Joyce Jonathan: i relistened to this song recently and i think it really suits the beginning of the chapter. there's a growing up vibe to it and, nostalgia, sadness and hope at the same time. i really see it playing in that time where harry reflects on the upcoming anniversary of the war and where he and ginny talk about the aftermath.

Dance Monkey by Tones and I (Stripped Back): okay. i know this is a bold choice but let me explain. basically: i was working on completing the playlist and was looking for a song for the end of the trials, draco's hearing and all the politics in this chapter. i looked up my top songs of 2022 (which is when this chapter was written) and found out i actually listened to this song quite a lot that year (the original version of it). and yes, this is a dance song, but when you look at the lyrics, there's a vibe of, like, the establishment and the wider world forcing you to do something you don't really want to do? like, sure, here, this is a woman who's being told, basically "why don't you dance/smile more" but i think this is also applicable to harry and his relationship with the press and the wizarding world in general. there is a dimension in it of "dance monkey! dance!" where he's just like - not feeling it. this is the chapter where he rebels, too, and actually doesn't stick to the script, and pushes the wizarding world to change, and we love that for him. i chose the stripped back version for the playlist, because i feel it just fits the mood more than the dance version of this song.

bad guy by Billie Eilish: ugh. do i need to explain? i mean, harry, come on. stop toying with two girls at the same time.

Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran: a bit the same as the above. my bad habits lead to you - you can't quite let ginny go, can't you?

Arcade by Duncan Laurence: if you were on tiktok in the golden age of dracotok, this song will need no introduction. i don't even think the lyrics fit but i now have such a strong association between draco malfoy and this song, it needed to be there in this chapter.

This Is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey: i feel like this is a lesser-known Lana song, but it's haunted me for years. i think there's a vibe of "for us girls, it's just the way wars are fought" in that song. and, with this chapter being the one where we find out about pansy, i couldn't not include it.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons: i've always felt like this was such a castles song overall, but struggled to find a good spot for it in the playlist. and then, i don't know. i feel like this moment after malfoy tells harry the truth and when he's having his tirade about systems just... works. this is a song that to me, represent the both of them, actually. i'll never wear your broken crown, i'll never be your chosen one. for malfoy, it's realising just that - he's not the chosen one. for harry, it foreshadows what's to come with alecto.

Mr. Sandman by SYML: okay, i cannot possibly explain this but i very strongly associate this song with the vibe of draco in prison, and that last scene. it's bizarrely haunting, and i think fits the mood perfectly.

Wrecked by Imagine Dragons: this song is one of those songs about grief that are maybe a bit one the nose but idk, i like it. i listened to it loads the summer it came out, and it inspired me to bring giulia back in this chapter. so there you go haha.

In Your Heart by The Franklin Electric: this is a song i love and i've listened a lot, but again, one that i couldn't really find a good place for in the playlist. but i was looking for a song to cover sort of the alecto/kingsley era of this chapter and i think it's perfect. it's vague enough that it could be about anything, and generally it's very much about guilt and substance abuse, and feeling lost, and very "in your head" which fits the bill. the beginning in particular really speaks to me: it's your fault, when your pride grows thicker than your skin, it's burning up like oxygen. and also this: the teachers never told you about reasonable doubt. i think it very much resonates with harry making that awful decision in that moment, and the guilt/unease that flows from it.

Foundations by Kate Nash: ah, do i even need to explain this one? this article was making the rounds a while back and it's So On Point. this song is an anthem to the breakdown of that first adult relationship you have with a boy that's a dickhead and this is mia's anthem. she deserves it. my fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations and i know that i should let go, but i can't. i feel like this is so representative of that moment where everything points towards mia leaving him, but instead she asks him to come with her. darling, you deserve so much better!

People Help The People by Birdy: i was looking for a song to cover the memorial and i think this one (this version in particular) is just so beautiful. there's something very breathy and airy and the lyrics really resonate. the ups and downs of the verses v. the chorus of people helping people. give me your hand and i'll hold it is also building towards the hinny moment later. i really love this here.

Tobacco In My Sheets by Lauren Aquilina: god, i've loved and listened to this song so much. to me, it's the ginny&molly song. i've also hesitated on placement, it could have been earlier when molly and ginny were fighting, or later in 22, but ultimately, that scene with the hug is what i'm choosing. this song breaks my heart into a million pieces every time i hear it.

Higher by Lily Allen: ugh. this is probably one of my old time favourite lily songs. it took me a long time to understand it, listen to an interview when she was explaining this was written from the POV of her ex-husband. there's something so tragic about it, but i also really like the conflictual-ness of it, the one-upping each other which is a little bit what harry and ginny are doing for part of their conversation. there's also harry's unrelenting, unyielding attitude towards ginny's fuck ups, both tolerating them, but also making it clear that it needs to stop. it's your life, i said i'd never let you waste my time, i said you'd never hear me say that twice. you crossed that line. i just fucking adore this song.

Delilah by Florence + The Machine: there's a complexity in that song of i'm gonna be free, i'm gonna be fine, but also holding on for your call, i can never let go that i feel is very much the dichotomy of ginny in this chapter. the certainty and confidence but also the vulnerability of her conversation with harry at times.

Supernatural by Barns Courtney: i kind of see this song also as a transition into next chapter. one last time, let you back into my head - to me, it's harry and ginny sort of dancing around each other like they do in the of that conversation. want-me-want-me-not. they both do it at times, and especially harry in the next chapter, and i think it's a good song to launch the next part.

I'm Not A Saint by Billy Raffoul: this song has strong castles!harry vibes - at least for that era of his life lol. i kind of both see it as the opening song for the whole alecto mess, but also as an anthem for the whole chapter. i've one too many cigarettes, burning off my tongue, and the chorus of i'm not a saint but i could be if i tried is very harry/mia.

Lap Dance by Ycare: i fucking love this song. literally, i see it as the harry&hermione dancing scene song. more figuratively, it's harry dancing around with mia and ginny hot-and-cold-ing harry.

Trigger Bang (feat. Giggs) by Lily Allen: another of my favourite lily songs ever - i remember it came out as one of the early releases on no shame and i fucking gasped when i first heard it, i think it's my favourite song on the album. i actually listened to that album a lot while writing act 2 of castles; it's an album that deals a lot with addiction and messing up, which obviously is very much ginny's arc at that point. particularly, this song inspired the party thing where ginny says she'll avoid the party because (in other words), it's triggering to her. i was trying to find an excuse for the "one time they didn't meet" to fit with the theme of the chapter, and that song is what inspired me to write the whole party subplot, actually. that's why i can't hang with the cool gang, everyone's a trigger bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

The List by Maisie Peters: i love the successions of these two songs because they kind of build off on each other. it's new resolutions and turning a page, which is very much what ginny does here.

July by Noah Cyrus: ugh. self-explanatory. this is the most mia song ever. leave him. just leave him (spoiler alert, she can't).

Double Denim - the one to cry to at 3am by SKYLAR: another massive ugh. mia, stop falling for the bad boys. and harry, you are this song in this chapter. this song also have some of my favourite lyrics by SKYLAR ever, which apply so well in this context: mister, mister, if she's like a sister, why did you kiss her? what? to be polite? but aphrodite don't go kiss athena so why d'you kiss her? just, out of spite?

Back To Black by Amy Winehouse: ah, amy, my love. another victim of the tabloid press. i've always seen this song as mia's break-up song, and the title of the paris fic is taken from back to black. he left no time to regret, kept his dick wet, with his same old safe bet. baby, mia, my dear, i'm so sorry.

BLIZZARD by Fauve: there's this meme on french tiktok right now that's like: "the kids who used to passionately listen to Fauve in the summer on 2015, how are you all doing??" 😅 not well is the answer to that question lmao. jokes aside, for anyone not familiar, Fauve were a bit of a musical concept back in the day, and they have a lot of slam/rap songs about love and mental health and stuff that were very #deep but sure look, i still fucking love them. and, this song is so castles!hinny, it's very much about taking a leap and believing in the future, which is the sort of trajectory they're choosing for each other at the end of this chapter. tu nous entends l'amour, tu nous entends? Si tu nous entends, il faut qu'tu reviennes parce qu'on est prêts maintenant, ca y est. on a déconné c'est vrai mais depuis on a compris, et là, on a les paumes ouvertes avec notre coeur dedans, il faut qu'tu l'prennes et qu'tu l'emmènes 🥹

Que tout s'danse by Noé Preszow: this song is another of those songs that are incredibly important to castles and have really shaped the narrative of the fic. it basically says "you tell me anyone can dance through everything". it's a song about love and resilience and fucking up, and really was essential to the whole hinny arc in part 2. it has these lyrics about "i know it doesn't seem like it but i need to be laughed at, i need anonymous letters accusing me of all crimes" - to me it speaks to the very thesis of why harry chooses ginny: because she challenges him and makes him a better person. but, in my head, this song is also a war song, and a castles song. it's very linked to the trials arc of part 2, which also concludes in this chapter. in the song, the lyrics state: tu me dis que tout s'danse, même la gêne, même la haine, même l'errance. Que tout s'danse, la solitude, l'état de siège, l'état d'urgence. that last part, basically translating to "you can dance through anything, a siege or a state of emergency" is a direct reference to the state of emergency that was declared after the bataclan attacks in paris in 2016. as i've said before, i drew a lot of inspiration from the bataclan trials for castles, which were ongoing as i was writing, and from the bataclan attacks in general, which had a massive impact on my life and in part, motivated me to write castles. it's a gorgeous song, and one that has been in the playlist from the very start of this journey.

Friends (The Way I Wrote It) by Ian McConnell: i don't think i need to explain this one. it's the very last of the harry/mia song. it's cute and sad and weirdly perfect.

Paris by The Chainsmokers: i listened to this song a lot whilst writing chapter 15/16 and i couldn't help but feel like i had to include it somewhere. at first i was like "this has got to be mia related because it's paris," but ultimately, i think it's a very hinny-in-chapter-16 song. you'll see anyway that this whole chapter is pretty much one travel-related song after the other (lol), so here's the first one of many haha. i love the "let's show them we are better" and "if we go down, let's go down together" - it's very them and is also a good transition between 15 and 16.

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls: i really struggled with this chapter regarding whether or not to include the muggle songs that are referenced in the text into the playlist. in the end, i decided not to, apart from this one and the Manu Chao one (see below). i don't think stuff like the real slim shady or wannabe or Dido are particularly relevant to this story, but this one is just so perfectly cliché and great for Ron & Hermione - i just had to include it.

Caravane by Raphaël: i know, i know. if you're french, you can't stand this song anymore cause it's been so overplayed, think: james blunt's you're beautiful. BUT it is a beautiful song. and, it's: harry and ginny leaving. being free. just the two of them. 🥹

Young as the Morning Old as the Sea by Passenger: i just love this song, it's gorge. but yeah, just another travel song in fairness ^^.

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman: so, funnily enough, this song was supposed to be a song harry and ginny danced to at the wedding. i took it out because all things considered, it's not a super hopeful song. but just now, i was looking for song to cover their first fight in misty village and like, idk. i love the metaphor in this, the way the first few pages of the trip (and the first few songs) are very happy-go-lucky and "yaay! we're going on an adventure" but then this one is like: is the adventure really a happy ending? it follows the hopeful beginning of this song and the more tragic end, almost. also this one and the previous one are very guitar-based, so they go well together.

Renegades by X Ambassadors: aaaaaand, they're back on the road lol.

The Seer's Tower by Jamie Cullum: this is a cover of a Sufjan Stevens song but Jamie Cullum's version fucking haunts me. i think it fits so well the low-key tension that exists between harry and ginny in that part of the chapter, around chicago and the midwest, where they're actually talking and making progress but also, everything's a bit complicated. i just adore this. and, obviously, the title of the song is a reference to Sear's Tower in chicago, which harry and ginny visit.

Bongo Bong by Manu Chao: aaaaaand, we're back on the road lol. with this quintessential european 90s song lol.

Sword from the Stone by Passenger: this is probably one of my top three passenger songs and the only "covid" song i can tolerate lol. i was sort of looking for a place for it in castles and then it hit me while making the playlist for this chapter. it's got that sort of desperation to it and that "i can't do it alone" and the ups and downs that are. very symptomatic of harry and ginny in this chapter. to me, this is really representative of the lead up to their final fight and of the fight itself.

It's Called: Freefall by Paris Paloma: this is a cover version which you probably already heard if you're on tiktok - it really inspired this chapter, and particularly the grand canyon moment.

What Is Love? by The Red Pill & Alan Watts: a bit the same as the above, i just love the text and it really symbolises that idea of taking a leap and believing in love for the two of them.

LETTRE A ZOÉ by Fauve: this is probably my favourite Fauve song and to me it so symbolises the vibe of the grand canyon aftermath, the very early, exciting stages of a reconciliation. it's such a beautiful song and i think it transitions wonderfully into the new "stage" of castles.

Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa by FINNEAS: this is the era/chapter of love songs, lol. i love this one, it's so happy and symbolic of the first half of this chapter - harry and ginny enjoying the honeymoon phase haha.

Room Service by Holly Humberstone: i can't recall how i first heard this song but i always thought it had such hinny undertones of that era in castles, covering both this chapter but also the one before - this quietness of a refuge found in bedrooms and hotel rooms just the two of them. the love that transpires. i am burying the things that hurt you. i'm digging holes in the garden, babe, i made a tomb to put them in - everything. i also love the part that goes 'cause you've lost too much sleep for one lifetime - that really speaks to the two of them and their nightmares.

Rosie by Passenger: another cosy song for this cosy chapter. funny story but passenger said he wrote that song as a lullaby for his cat who was scared of the storm. it's a beautiful ballad about not worrying and being protected. i adore this song, it always gives me hope and feels whenever i hear it.

Party Tattoos by dodie: continuing with the cosy feeling, but this song is also about social anxiety and taking leaps of faith to actually do things, which i think speaks to harry and ginny finally enjoying themselves in this chapter. that being said, i mostly picked this song for this iconic line: they're not bruises, they're just party tattoos. that really spoke to me in this chapter, not in the context of the song specifically, but more in the context of the "bruises" and "wounds" that harry and ginny are working to heal together, and this concept that they're not bruises, they're just party (or maybe life) tattoos. i love that idea and the metaphor, which is why i included the song here.

Petite Marie by Francis Cabrel: and, again, we finish with a love song. probably one of the most beautiful of all. sorry for those who don't speak french, you're missing something. je viens du ciel et les étoiles entre elles ne parlent que de toi. (i come from the sky and amongst themselves, the stars only speak of you.)

[teabeexo]

𝚃𝚎𝚊'𝚜 𝚂𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚊

☘︎ ↳ ❝ I had a dream that the sun in the sky

Was feelin' so lonely, he started to cry

The rain on our window kept us inside

All of the morning, and into the night... ❞

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

❝ Alone in my dream room, I want to love you... ❞ - "Man on the Moon" By Zella Day

𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚊 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚍

☘︎ The Basics ☘︎

Age(s): Step 1 - 10, Step 2 - 14, Step 3 - 18, Step 4 - 22

Birthday: December 17

Gender: Female (she/her)

Nationality: French

Height: 5'4"

Significant Other: Dante Rhodes (belonging to @captian-insecure)

Role: Side character in my OL:NF universe.

☘︎ Lore (past) ☘︎

Sonia Linwood was born in Nice, France on December 17th to her parents Baptiste and Sabine Linwood. She has four elder brothers: Jude, Beau, Raoul, and Quincy. She grew up primarily speaking French among her family and peers, but would catch some English from the occasional tourist in her mother's bakery. She spent most of her early childhood snoozing in the warmth of a patterned hammock or listening to her brothers' prattle about their school adventures.

This monotonous comfort would change whenever her family, alongside her extended relatives (including her aunts, cousins, and grandparents), moved to Oregon. Namely, the beloved Golden Grove. However, unlike her cousins Mina and Maël, she didn't live in a small cul-de-sac. Her house ended up on a hill about ten minutes away from them. Like all the houses in the town, her abode was hugged by blushing leaves and whispering briars.

She completed fifth grade at the same school as her cousins but wasn't in Mrs. Murray's class -- not that it made much of a difference to her. After the move, Sonia and her cousins drifted slightly. They lived farther apart now, had different classes, and new social groups. Sonia could already see how infatuated the two were with their new neighbors. She wasn't going to try to wedge herself between that.

Instead, she made new friends, too. Despite lacking some significant English vocabulary, Sonia was very easy to talk to. She attracted friends as easily as she deflected them. Her mother liked to call Sonia a social butterfly. But she preferred the term 'a social paper bag'. Butterflies choose where they fly, purposefully picking the most beautiful of flowers. They select their meals with careful consideration. But that was not Sonia. She went where she was beckoned, by whatever beckoned her. She followed the current of socialization like a paper bag that flies away in the ripples of the wind. Sometimes they got stuck in nooks and crannies, but they usually found their ways out. That was Sonia.

She didn't really develop a consistent social group until she was fourteen, whenever she and Mina reconnected. Through Mina, she met Tamarack -- whom she had only previously known as Mina's good friend and Maël's very obvious romantic fixation. Sonia also established strong bonds with Mina's other friends: Diana, Maxine, and Rex.

Though, at times it was hard to really say they were her 'friend group'. Sonia still sat and chatted with whoever she pleased, though most often she chose them. The paper bag couldn't be tied down. Not yet.

Whenever she was roughly fifteen, Sonia was officially diagnosed with Narcolepsy. From that point, she started taking the necessary measures to make sure it didn't impede her daily life too much. She doesn't often bring it up but is open about the diagnosis if asked.

During her later teenage years, Sonia began learning how to embrace her own style, and opened herself up to the world of romance. During her adolescent years, the concept hadn't interested her much, despite a handful of individuals expressing their interest in her. She'd seen the emotional turmoil of Mina and Maël. She wasn't keen on replicating it for herself.

She dated around a bit, but nothing ever stuck. Nothing seemed to click. Flings were boring while they lasted, and though the physical intimacy was moderately satisfying, she didn't feel as though anyone was truly seeing her.

Not until she met Dante, anyhow. They'd briefly glimpsed each other in passing before, but nothing was pursued until a link-up between mutual friends. The relationship moved faster than anything Sonia had experienced before -- much to her delight. She was certainly enraptured by his love of music, but it was his demeanor and empathy that ultimately stole her heart.

'Spiny on the outside, mushy on the inside'. That's how she first described him to her brothers and parents.

And upon meeting him, they didn't need much more convincing.

☘︎ Lore (present/ongoing) ☘︎

Following the solidification of their relationship, the two got a small apartment together -- where they live in present. Dante is still pursuing his music, waiting in anticipation for his girlfriend to come home from another of her late-night shifts at the hospital she does part-time work for. Time together is sporadic, but they treasure what they do have of it.

Sonia has been affectionately dubbed 'Sleepy' by Dante, which she wholeheartedly lives up to by dozing off whenever they're even slightly comfortable.

Her social presence narrows as well, as she become more devoted to certain friendships rather than floating between cliques. She maintains strong contact with her cousins, often trying to arrange times to meet up. Even with Vérène, who lives all the way in California, is among her closest confidants. She doesn't see Rex, Diana, or Maxine, as often -- but chats over phone aren't uncommon.

On her days alone, Sonia likes to use watercolor sometimes, often depicting the fields of landscape of France or a saturated scene from one of her dreams. She has also found herself collecting quite the abundance of unique, noisy windchimes to decorate her porch with (much to Dante's chagrin). But of course, the most common usage of her time is simply curling up on a sunlit armchair and sleeping the minutes away.

As she always has, Sonia takes life one thing at time. But now that she's an adult, things are a bit different. For once, being the paper bag stuck in a nook for a while doesn't seem so bad.

☘︎ Relationships ☘︎

Parents: Baptiste and Sabine Linwood

Siblings: Jude (M), Beau (M), Raoul (M), and Quincy (M)

Aunts: Opal and Sophie

Cousins: Vérène (F; child of Sophie), Mina (F; child of Opal), and Maël (M; child of Opal).

S/O: Dante Rhodes

Notable Friends: Tamarack Baumann, Rex (my OC), Diana (my OC), and Maxine (my OC), Dex and Christin (OCs of a friend, neither of them are mentioned above)

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

𝙰𝚛𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

As you may have deduced, this is Sonia and Dante together!

Sonia headshot art. <33 (both art pieces were done by me)

☘︎ Epilogue (Artist/Author's notes) ☘︎

Hello, everyone! If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading! I hope that this was relatively satisfactory in answering any questions you had regarding Sonia. As always, if there's anything that I left unanswered, feel free to ask!

If I remember correctly, Sonia was first conceptualized in February of this year, in which I was actually building on a pre-existing character. She first only existed to be a counterpart to Dante, but I quickly got extremely attached to her design and she kept popping up over and over in my sketchbook. Ultimately, I made the choice to make Vérène and Sonia related -- which is what generally solidified her as an important character. Of course, that also branched out to include being related to Mina and Maël, to whom she lives more closely to and can interact more directly with.

Sonia herself is very much one of my comfort characters. Her design is extremely fun for me to draw and replicate. I also enjoy playing around with her because she's very flexible to fit in a multitude of scenarios.

As always, I encourage questions. I recognize that the format of this post doesn't really touch on her personality itself very much, so if you all would find a separate post about that interesting, I'll consider making something about that too.

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜

Spotify playlist: coming soon! (wip)

Moodboard: coming soon! (as soon as I figure out how to make one)

Pinterest Board: coming soon! (wip)

[surely-galena]

Don't Shoot self-indulgent ending rambles (behind the scenes stuff that I didn't get to talk about)

Just some of my thoughts for things that happen at the end of the fic. Spoilers included of course!

Ending #1: Luke dies

Out of all the death endings, the aftermath for this one actually feels like... the happiest, in a way? It's still not happy because it's still an angsty ending, but it's probably the one where everyone gets the most closure.

The idea that Zella gets the locked box that she was curious about for so long, but leaves it unopened on her coffee table with the accompanying key...ouch.

Zella is usually the focus in everything that happens after your chosen boy dies, but you can also see bits and pieces of how the other NXX guys react and process the tragedy. I think this is least shown in Luke and Artem's endings, for different reasons. While they generally act as a whole in Luke's ending, they are deliberately made more distant in Artem's ending.

Ending #2: Artem dies

I thought it would be fun if there was at least one ending where MC/Zella becomes corrupted, if that makes sense? She loses sight of everything she used to believe in and now only focuses on her career rather than how she gets to the point she wants to reach.

There are deliberate references to main story 6.2 in the pre-choice section (in Artem's POV), and it is again referred to in Artem's death ending (in Zella's POV). This is because it means they get out of one life-threatening situation only to find themselves in other dangerous circumstances once again.

Would Artem have wanted to see who Zella becomes in this ending? Absolutely not! But she's not letting herself see that because it hurts too much.

Ending #3: Vyn dies

This one was hard to write not in an emotional sense, but in a technical sense. You may notice that this is actually the shortest ending out of all five because I was struggling to get across the aftermath in a way that I was satisfied with. The idea in my outline for this ending was a dead end, so I tried to convey that in the team's struggle to accomplish anything for the founders' original mission.

Vyn's actual death, however, is narratively satisfying (to me) in the sense that it's a subversion of expectations. Vyn spends the first few chapters talking about how he would never sacrifice himself (and would only do so for Zella), but when the moment arrives, he does exactly what he said he would not do. Vyn ensures that he becomes the sacrifice. It's a really tragic ending, but he's got agency in his choice.

I deliberately chose not to mention how his name is written on his headstone. Depending on how sad you want the ending to be, you get to decide whether he is remembered as Vyn Richter, Vilhelm Richard Albert de Haspran, or something in between.

Ending #4: Marius dies

In my outline, I put this down as the worst ending. So if you found this one to be the most painful one, I agree!!

It's the irony that Marius, who is supposed to be immune, is the one who gets shot--not by his own choice or by Zella's, but by accident. The person who everyone tried to save could not be saved, and even worse, he's the one who takes the longest to die.

The "JUST SHOOT!" moment that scares Zella into pulling the trigger also happens in the next ending. The only difference is that Zella has already decided to fire the gun in this ending, so her finger is on the trigger. In the other ending, her finger is safely off the trigger so no accidents happen.

In the original outline of this ending, Luke was supposed to die after Pax shuts down their medical centers. But then I realized it would be totally unfair if he died in this ending--especially if you had already decided to skip the Luke ending. I can't say "don't worry, it's possible that your favorites won't die" if they die outside of their own death ending! So I actually like the final version more because you get to see the state that everyone is in after Marius' death.

Ending #5: Everyone lives

This ending is largely accomplished by you (as the reader) and Zella being able to stall for long enough, allowing William and Zangr to arrive with backup! You'll notice that the "JUST SHOOT" moment only happens in this ending and Marius' ending, and that is because Zella stalls for the longest in both of those endings--to differing results.

I thought it was so funny when William Lewis showed up in the Bakerlon event and I realized it would be even funnier if he actually ended up being a heroic figure in this fic's good ending.

Zangr getting away before the choices means that he lives in every ending!

William Lewis getting coffee with the NXX Investigation Team is so funny to me. He has NO CLUE who these people truly are.

The article excerpts in Artem's ending and this ending take inspiration from the Lockwood & Co. books!

This is the ending you have to fight for a little bit because you have to click 'Don't Shoot' three times. Granted, it's easier because for the first two Don't Shoot parts, there is only one choice available to pick. Here, there is some inspiration taken from a particular choice in Ultra Despair Girls (video game), but it's also a way to strengthen Zella's resolve and buy time for the others to arrive on scene.