#zena grey

[vendriin]

My Soul to Take (2010)

[womenwwe]

NXT The Women of Chase U 2024 Calendar

[birdnamedenza]

Where the down bit starts

OCs: Ketan, Hunter

Not me casually being back after almost two years.

I had already started to write this story and basically had an entire plot arch all layed out in my head... and then life happened. It didn't help that this was quite the challenging story to write with all of the plot and action going on besides the actual sickness part. We have a crossover between Tiago's arch nemesis Hunter and Ketan, the one who got away so far. Ketan's scenario had to be special and Hunter is just fun to make sick with all the casual perfection going on around him. I hope I kind of succeeded, thank you for everyone who's still enjoying my writing after that long hiatus.

TW: Vomit

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ketan was stressed out, and that rarely happened. Usually, his restless energy and exuberant imagination helped him to channel every adrenaline rush into something creative. He had already come up with a perfect plan: There was a funfair in town, the ultimate setting for an interactive live stream. It was a cold and cloudy monday morning. Occasional downpours were expected, so there wouldn't be a lot of visitors, certainly not around the opening hour at 10 a.m.

The only trouble was that none of his friends were available to join him. Calvin was studying for an upcoming examn – in fact, he had just pulled an all-nighter and sounded dead tired when Ketan called him. Zena spent the entire weekend out of town for a job and wouldn't return before the late evening hours. Much to Ketan's surprise, Cassandra was the one who picked up Ezra's phone. Apparently, he had been busy barfing up his guts for the last 24 hours, thanks to a nasty stomach flu. Cassandra stayed at his apartment to take care of him and keep him hydrated. And Natalia… Natalia would have never been down for a trip to the funfair, even if she hadn't been avoiding Ketan like the plague after her drunken meltdown.

Of course, Ketan could have gone on his own or postponed the stream, but he had already announced the date to his followers. The whole thing was supposed to be a competition-style setup with challenges and matches. To fire up the engagement, the viewers could vote for the next ride and who handled it better. Short queues were expected at those perfect conditions, but whatever waiting time would occur could be passed with asking each other embarrassing questions. It was all layed out in Ketan's head and it absolutely needed to happen.

When Ketan was at the verge of despair, Calvin proved once again to be the best friend ever. He had contacted some of his fellow students if someone was, quite literally, up for the ride. A classmate named Hunter had actually agreed to join in on the fun. His health and fitness content was popular, albeit mostly among young women who weren't exactly there for the educational part. Ketan couldn't blame them – that Hunter guy was just the right eye candy he needed to attract the masses.

All giddy and hyped up, Ketan arrived almost half an hour early at the fairground. The colorful rides, stalls and games lay dormant under a dull grey sky. Only a handful of visitors strolled among the whimsical attractions that just started their work for the day. Ketan used the waiting time to map out the area and plan a route. Here and there, a whiff of sugary, oily goods hit his nose. In the near distance, the first ride began blaring out 90's electronica. It was hard to suppress a maniacal grin.

Finally, Ketan rushed back to the entrance to welcome his guest star. Just like he remembered, Hunter was ridiculously handsome with his bronze skin, sensual lips and defined curls, but his smile and his posture gave away his nervousness. Determined to break the ice, Ketan put on his most charming expression and greeted Hunter with a warm hug.

"My savior has arrived!"

"Uhm, sure thing, no big deal", Hunter replied, still a tad shy. "I haven't been to the fair in ages. Sounds fun."

"Yeah, right? It's nostalgia on steroids." Ketan had his equipment all set up and ready to go. The countdown for his viewers was ticking and quite a few were waiting for the stream to begin. "Cal has told you that we're doing this live, right? No cuts, no editing."

"Eh… yes, that's fine, it's just… I've never done this before."

"Oh, don't worry, I have." With a pat on Hunter‘s strong back, Ketan subtely directed him towards the designated starting point. "Just be yourself, they're gonna love you. It might feel a little weird at first, but you'll get used to it in no time. I promise I'm gonna make this easy for you."

"Okay, uhm… thanks." Hunter's bashful smile was thoroughly endearing. Ketan hoped that his heterochromia would show up well on camera – the light blue spot in one of his brown eyes was almost mesmerizing. The obvious fact that the guy had no idea how attractive he was only made it better.

"Take a deep breath and enjoy the adventure", Ketan reassured him. "You're gonna be great. Just don't take anything I say personal, we gotta give the audience a bit of a fake rivalry thing. Pretend that it's a sport competition and we're both taking this super seriously."

"Yeah. I think I can do that." Hunter hesitated for a moment, then scratched the back of his head. "Ah, yes… I guess I should mention that heights make me a bit nervous. I won't back out, just wanna let you know."

Ketan could barely contain a triumphant roar. He had ended up with the perfect filming partner after all.

"That's okay, don't try to hide it. I'm sure many viewers can relate", he encouraged Hunter. "They want to see real people with real emotions. Can you tell them a few things about yourself first? I'll jump in if you ever feel stuck. You'll see – before you know it, you’re an absolute pro."

-

After Hunter had successfully tackled the first obstacle of introducing himself, he slowly began to calm down. Ketan made sure to start out nice and easy with some classic games. The tin can alley, the shooting gallery, the unclimbable ladder and the strongman test all gave Hunter a chance to excel with his physical skills to gently ease him into the challenge.

To keep things exciting, Ketan had already put up a vote for the first ride they had to go on. The drop tower won by a landslide – much to Hunter's dismay. It wasn't even a big tower, 130 ft at best. A young girl barely passed the height requirement, grinning from ear to ear, while Hunter nervously looked around like he was considering a last minute escape.

"It's a bit early to regret your life choices", Ketan teased with a friendly dig in Hunter's ribs. "You can always skip the ride if you're too scared, you know?"

"No way!", Hunter attempted to join in on the banter. "I'm in the lead, remember? And I never go down without a fight."

"We're both going down in a minute, but first it's all the way up, up, up to the top." Filled to the brim with anticipation, Ketan took a seat and secured the restraints. He adjusted his 360° cam to a nice angle that showed both their faces and a good bit of the surroundings.

"Oh boy", Hunter exhaled sharply as the operator performed the final safety check. "I'm not so sure about this."

"Too late to wimp out now." Chuckling like a madman, Ketan captured their slow ascenct. The camera did a great job at conveying the height, even added to it with the warped perspective. Hunter, of course, couldn't appreciate any of it since his eyes were shut tight. He was humming a slightly distorted tune while his hands held on to the restraints. Surprisingly, it didn't even sound half bad. Besides his stunning looks and athletic skills, Hunter was also gifted with a deep and silky voice.

"You're missing out on the view, bud!" Ketan reached over with his free hand and pinched Hunter's impressive bizeps. Hunter flinched and looked up for a moment, visibly startled.

"Oh God, I hate this", he moaned and turned his eyes towards the gloomy clouds. Better than looking down, Ketan assumed. Meanwhile, the ride had come to a halt, leaving his brave three riders suspended in anticipation.

"Got a message for the crowds?", Ketan grinned.

"It was nice to meet yo-uuuaaaaaaah!" Hunter's words were ripped into a breathless scream as the platform plunged towards the ground. Weightlessness washed over Ketan's body, the sinking and exhilarating feeling of a free fall. It was like his stomach was floating in his chest, tingling and fluttering and almost unbearable, but in the best way possible. And then, before his nerves could even make sense of it, the brakes set in and it was all over.

"That was amazing!" Ketan couldn't stop laughing and after a few seconds of a horrified blank stare, Hunter joined in. Nervously, but still.

"I was right", he said with a crooked smile while fixing his hair, "I hated it."

"Well, you didn't spoil your pants, that's a plus. Should be an easy win for me, though."

"Uhm… yeah, I guess so", Hunter nodded, still out of breath. Then he remembered the whole competition aspect and forced out a: "Unless our viewers appreciate me overcoming my fear."

Ketan could barely stop himself from pinching Hunter's cheek. The man just wasn't made for bragging and taunting. His feeble attempt was so wholesome that Ketan almost broke character, and he was sure his followers noticed.

"You deserve a pat on the shoulder. Now let's check the results."

The results were anything but clear. Ketan came out on top, but only by a few percent. And the lifechat made it perfectly clear that the audience was smitten by his first time companion.

"I want to hold his sweaty hand so badly", Ketan read out loud. "Still hot, even when he's about to pee himself."

"Stop it", Hunter protested, pretending to reach for the phone. "How 'bout your embarrassing comments?"

"Later. Maybe. First, you guys gotta pick the starter, main course and appetizer for our eating contest."

"Like… who's gonna eat the most?" Hunter's eyes widened. Maybe the drop had left a lasting impression on his stomach or he feared the ride following their meal.

"What, do I look like a sadist to you?" Ketan put on his best serial killer impersonation before breaking into a smile again. "No way, I gotta do the same thing, remember? It's all about speed, baby. The winner finishes first."

"Big mistake. I'm a fast eater." Hunter pounded his shredded abs that, even under his shirt, looked like he lived on nothing but broccoli and lean chicken breast.

"Never underestimate my power!" With a last ominous glare, Ketan checked his phone for the jury's votes. Unsurprisingly, corn dog and chocolate churros were the clear favorites – phallic-shaped food always came in first, pun intended. The third pick was a bit of a wild card: chocolate covered bacon. It probably sounded too weird to give it a pass. While casually chatting some more, Ketan went to the food trucks to gather their democratically elected meal.

"You guys are the referees", he declared to his viewers. "Just in case it's a close race, which it's totally not going to be."

"Keep telling yourself that", Hunter gave back with newfound confidence.

"Look who's getting cocky", Ketan sneered and grabbed his corn dog. "Alrighty then… get ready… set… go!"

As fast as he possibly could, Ketan munched away at the crispy cornbread and the plump, meaty hotdog. He felt pretty confident until he shot a glance at his opponent. Somehow, Hunter had managed to shove almost the entire thing into his mouth at once and chewed at lightning speed. Damn it, he was a fast eater indeed. Determined not to lose, Ketan took bigger bites, then swiftly reached for the churros.

The deep fried crispiness, soft inside and intense cocoa flavor made it easy to get down bite after bite. Ketan stared at the horizon beyond the stalls and rides, focusing on nothing but pushing in the strands of pastry, chewing once or twice, then gulping forcefully. Finally, he grapped the long strip of chocolate covered bacon and chewed it off the stick before he could think about it. The smokey note hit harder than expected – the sweetness of the chocolate tried, but failed to overpower it. It wasn't horrible, just not entirely to his taste, and it left a greasy mouthfeel. That didn't stop Ketan from nibbling away every last bit, then swallowing once more.

He looked up to find Hunter already taking a sip of his water. An unfamiliar grin parted his rival's lips as he probably felt that adrenaline rush for the first time. He had finally stopped pretending – now he was taking this seriously. Ketan frowned and wiped his lips.

"Told you so", Hunter declared unabashedly triumphant.

"Just because I'm not as good at deepthroating corn dogs", Ketan growled.

"You're not mad, aren't ya?" Genuine worry clouded Hunter's smile.

"A little." Ketan gave his guest star a wink to assure him that his concern was unfounded. "Better enjoy that victory while it lasts. You might not like what's in store for you."

-

The next stop was a historically themed photo booth, just to give their stomachs some time to settle. Meanwhile, Ketan had already put up the poll for their following ride, which was going to be one of the main attractions. One that would make even him a tiny bit nervous. He knew perfectly well that the audience wanted to see them suffer and he was ready to ham it up for the camera.

Of course the viewers went for the fair’s most intimidating ride – a huge inverted coaster that started off with a steep drop, followed by a tight loop and a maze of zero-g rolls, corkscrews, hills and helixes. It was hard to imagine that this monster was actually portable. Hunter's face fell as he saw the massive steel skeleton.

"I – I don't think I can do that", he mumbled, lowering his head towards Ketan's ear. Maybe he was hoping the camera wouldn't pick up his voice.

"Come on, it's a little late to tap out", Ketan encouraged him, even though his own smile felt rather forced. He knew that this beast was assembled by pros and safety tested, his brain just couldn't get over that whole too big to be portable thing. The park management had agreed to him filming on-ride, he reminded himself, which they wouldn't have done if they weren't confident in their attractions. The uneasy feeling in his stomach was probably caused by a severe neglect of proper chewing during their eating contest. It was not like he was actually scared. "Unless… you want to give up. Double points for the winner, what do you think?"

"Uhm… I… I mean…" Hunter was biting his lip, hands fidgeting nervously, eyes staring intensly at the coaster towering over them. Then his chest heaved with a deep breath and his brows furrowed in nervous determination. "Alright. Let's do this."

"That's the spirit, big guy!" With some enthusiastic slaps on the back, Ketan steered Hunter towards the measly queue. There were five other people in front of them, waiting for the train to return. As soon as the gates opened, Ketan grabbed Hunter's hand and rushed towards the front car, ignoring the protest of a middle-aged woman. His heart was pounding, more out of excitement than anxiety. They were going to get a lovely video out of this. His followers were in for a treat.

"I… I think I made a mistake", Hunter whispered, wide-eyed. His caramel skin barely hid the fact that he had turned pale around the cheeks. As much as the restraints allowed it, Ketan reached over to pat his shoulder.

"Trust me, these things are never as bad as they look."

"No, oh no." Hunter sounded desperate as the train set in motion. Slowly, the chain lift pulled them up the first hill with the familiar click-clack. Ketan looked down towards his dangling feet while holding his camera as stable as possible. His trusty cam had this insane ability to make the selfie stick disappear on video, creating an effect of it floating in mid-air. Ketan gave his viewers a big grin while Hunter looked like he was about to burst into tears. In a futile attempt of reassurance, Ketan kept on rubbing his rival’s impressive biceps.

Finally, the train shifted into an upright position and for a moment, the entire funfair was below them. They followed one last bend towards the inevitable drop.

"I don't feel so good", Hunter rasped, his muscles tensing under Ketan's palm.

"This is the scariest part", Ketan tried to calm him down. "It's all gonna be fun from here!"

Hunter faintly shook his head, then pressed his eyes shut again and attempted to disappear into the shoulder restraints. The very next second, they went over the edge and gravity set things in motion. Ketan began to scream, but the train accelerated so quickly that the air was knocked out of his lungs. Then ground and sky changed places and all of a sudden, his feet were up in the clouds. It was amazing.

Until he heard that sound right next to him.

It was a deep, guttural retch. In one horrible moment, everything clicked. Hunter wasn't just scared. He was feeling sick. No wonder he had looked like he was about to wiggle out of his seat and jump off the ride. And to make things worse, the 360° twist of the zero-gravity roll made Ketan painfully aware of the unrest in his own stomach.

A series of dry heaves assaulted Ketan’s ear, loud enough to overpower even the wind’s roar. It was incredible that such a beautiful person could produce such revolting noises. They sent a wave of nausea through Ketan's body and made him shiver in his clammy skin. Like the rollercoaster, things were going downhill fast.

"Try to breathe", Ketan screamed, barely able to follow his own advice.

"Hu-hhhhhhrrrrrrrRRRRrrRRRrrrrrrr", was Hunter's response, and it sounded awfully wet. If only he could keep it down a little bit longer! The guy didn't even cup his mouth. He held on to the restraints like his life depended on it while his body was shaken by violent gags. Every single time, his head jolted forwards, lips wide open, tounge sticking out, like he was already in mid-puke. At this point, everyone behind them was probably terrified.

"Hold it in!", Ketan pleaded, just before the train twisted into a corkscrew. The last thing he saw were Hunter's eyes flying wide open and his cheeks bulging out. Ketan quickly turned away his head, preparing for a foul smelling flood to hit him any second. Once again, the world spun out of control and the greasy food he had scoffed down swirled in sync with their cart. It was only when they had made it through the inversion that Ketan dared to look up again.

Big mistake – another one in a whole string of unfortunate decisions. As Ketan anxiously glanced towards Hunter, he found him with his cheeks still puffed, lips pursed, eyes widened. Just a second later, vomit sprayed out of him like a fountain. With only a small gap to escape from, it came out with quite some pressure, but it didn't stand a chance against the airstream. A good bit of puke splattered right back into Hunter's face. Some disgustingly warm droplets and mushy pieces hit Ketan's cheek and his upper arm. Someone behind them screamed in terror and Ketan had the strong suspicion that it wasn't because of the wild ride.

With an instant gag, Ketan's body arched against the restraints. His nose was hit hard with the sour stench of sick, mixed with a fermented sweetness. He felt something sliding up his esophagus, like it was still well-greased from all the fried snacks. Desperate to keep his hasty meal down, Ketan swallowed several times and cupped his mouth with his free hand. The train descended into a downward helix and Ketan's stomach immediately sank, forcing another retch out of him.

Maybe it were those wet gurgles that set a chain reaction in motion, maybe it had been inevitable all along. Hunter's shoulders tensed as another gush of undigested food spilled out of his mouth and all over his front. At least now he tilted his head forward and fully parted his lips to prevent another explosion. With a horribly moist, gargling retch, the impossibly gorgeous hunk puked up large chunks of sausage and soggy dough that splattered heavily on his thighs.

Ketan's eyes watered as he fought against the mass that kept on pushing up his throat. The forceful movement of the rollercoaster, the rancid smell and the sickening noises Hunter produced all became too much for him. But the station was close, so very close. Another turn and Ketan already felt the brakes setting in. He pushed against his lips like with the force of sheer determination while his abdominal muscles clenched painfully.

"I'm so sorry", Hunter moaned weakly. Somehow, he still looked ridiculously handsome, even with strands of vomit dripping from his lips. Tiny droplets of tears had been caught in his long lashes as he looked at Ketan with pleading eyes. Ketan just nodded, mouth clutched, frantically taking in rapid, shallow breaths through his nose. The train slowed down as they entered the final stretch. He could do it. He had to do it.

Hunter, however, could not. A spasmodic hiccup shook his buff frame and without any resistance, another massive wave of beige liquid spilled from his lips. His face went blank as he immediately threw up again. Mushy bits of bacon and hotdog and cornbread plopped wetly onto the restraints. The sound was enough to send Ketan into a violent heave. Acrid liquid bubbled up from his stomach. It burned like hell and brought up bigger lumps that slid over Ketan's uvula, forcing him to gag even harder. With every fiber of his body, he tried to swallow the soggy mass back down.

Just as it all seemed lost, the train came to a halt. They had made it to the station. Unable to stop retching, his cheeks bulging against his palm, Ketan pleaded silently for the restraints to open. He saw a fairground worker approaching them hastily – a young guy, probably an undergrad like himself who  just wanted to make a bit of extra money. And then, in a cruel twist of fate, Ketan's stomach forcefully ejected another surge of puke. Hot, creamy liquid shot out of the small crack between his tightly closed lips. It poured out over and under his hand, between his fingers, down his arm, all over his cheeks and chin.

The worker stared in horror, his face one substantial "Oh no!", as he saw Ketan lose his battle in such a spectacular way. Finally, the shoulder restraints lifted themselves, like they wanted to mock his futile attempt. Their fellow riders frantically rushed out of the train. The woman that had snapped at them before was now giving them a death glare. Her hair, her face and a good part of her blouse were stained with Hunter's stomach contents.

Before she could break out into a tirade, Ketan's insides went for another loop and he projectile vomited all over himself. It spurted out of him in such a big arch that some droplets even hit the camera. The camera? A cascade of silent curses popped up in Ketan's fuzzy mind. Their entire barf‑a‑thon had been livestreamed to all of his followers, and thanks to the superior image stabilization, they probably hadn't missed a single chunk.

"Are… you guys okay?", the operator asked cautiously. Ketan looked at him and broke into a laugh. He just couldn't help himself. The entire situation was so utterly absurd.

"Sorry", he gasped, unable to calm himself down. "It just sorta… happened. I tried to hold it in, I really did, but… but…“

The laughter overwhelmed Ketan's bubbling stomach and he was shaken by another retch. A greasy brownish mush splattered onto his lap. Ketan's clothes were pretty much soaked with puke at this point and clung to his damp skin. The fresh breeze made him tremble, but he kept on chuckling as he expelled poorly chewed corndog bits. Hunter awkwardly patted Ketan's back to help him through the violent bout. After what seemed like an eternity, both the wet heaves and the hysterical giggles finally subsided.

"We can clean it all up", Hunter rasped. "I… I really didn't mean to ruin your, you know, ride."

"Uhm, no, it happens", the young man reassured him. He sounded more nervous than comforting, probably expecting either one of them to blow chunks again any seconds. "We’ll just hose it down. You guys look like you better go home."

"Yeah… you're right... sorry." Hunter sounded horribly guilty. Defeated. Ketan pressed his co-star‘s shoulder before they finally got up from their stained seats. Soggy lumps, now cooled down, slid down Ketan‘s legs. With a stiff gait, he walked down the platform – still nauseated, but doing his best to pull off a smile. At this point, he had no chance but to play it off and act unaffected.

Ketan's eyes did widen just a little as he looked at his phone. The viewer count had, in fact, almost trippled during their disastrous ride. And why was he even surprised? People were sadists after all. There was a reason the most popular challenges were always the one that made someone puke. It was the perfect blend of schadenfreude and childish humor.

"Okay, guys, this is going to be a tough one", he picked up the chitchat with his audience like nothing had happened. "I can proudly state that we gave it our all – all of our stomach contents, that is. Will you reward the spectacular human fountain or the last one barfing? The choice is yours while we're… trying to clean ourselves up a little. Stay tuned!"

Hunter hesitated to step closer. He looked helpless, lost, so Ketan grabbed his hand and pulled him along to a more quiet place behind the stalls.

"Feeling a little better?", Ketan asked in a much softer voice than his usual hyped up persona. He did feel bad for dragging Hunter into this mess. Nobody wanted to have a vomiting fit immortalized on the internet, especially not during their very first live stream.

"Yeah, I… I think so." Hunter gave him a crooked smile and a thumbs up.

Good thing Ketan’s philosophy was to be prepared for anything. Among his many technical gadgets, he also brought a large water bottle that turned out to be a life saver. First, he helped Hunter clean the worst mess from his skin and clothes before giving himself the same treatment. Quite a bit of puke had splashed back onto Hunter‘s own face. There were chunks and strands in his hair, heck, even in his ears. Ketan brought out some much-needed backup in the form of paper towels. Even then, they could only do so much – the stench of sick still lingered around them, their clothes were soaking wet and the stains easily visible. Ketan shivered and the goosebumps on Hunter's arms showed that he was freezing as well.

"Things are getting a tad uncomfortable for us and I don't think they're gonna welcome us on another ride", Ketan declared with a somewhat sheepish grin. The stream had definitely been cut short, but at least they were going out with a bang. "Let's see what you guys have to say… 'Blergh. Puke emoji, puke emoji, puke emoji' – relatable. 'Ketan, I would totally rub your back.' – aw, thank you. 'I wanna clean Hunter up with my tongue.' – interesting."

"I don't think that's a good idea", Hunter replied in such an sincere tone that Ketan could barely hold back a chuckle. Or a hug. He handed over the almost emptied bottle instead. Hunter took a deep sip, swished the water around in his mouth and politely turned away from the camera before spitting it all back out on the grass.

"Probably not, but thanks for the kind offer.“ Ketan waited until Hunter was done before he poorly imitated drumrolls. „Now let's determine the winner, shall we? It's the moment we've all been waiting for. Remember, we got double points for the last ride. So the winner of our final competition and the entire day is…" With a dramatic pause, Ketan looked at the poll. Took a deep breath. Then broke into a smile and raised his rival‘s arm. "Hunter!"

Countless hearts flooded the chat. It probably helped that Hunter's drenched clothes stuck to his chiseled body and that his face lit up in such an endearing way.

"Thank  you, everyone! Honestly, thank you.“ A tinge of red brought back some life into his cheeks that were still far from the usual golden-brown tan. „I know you guys weren't even here for me and I'm glad I didn't ruin the whole thing for you. Guess my stomach isn't used to deep-fried food anymore."

"Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.“ Ketan stretched himself to ruffle Hunter’s soft locks. „Case in point, it even happenend to me.“

„Yeah… sorry… that kinda feels like it was my fault as well. I made you… you know… I started the whole vomiting thing and then… sorry. It’s a little embarrassing.“

„My idea, my responsibility, okay?“ The shame-fueled puppy dog expression on Hunter’s face was utterly adorable and, weird enough, it sparked Ketan’s protective instinct for the significantly taller hunk. „Now before we ride home towards the sunset, let’s read some last comments to cheer you up. ‚Hottest. Thing. EVER!‘ – ‚Marry me, Hunter! Heart emoji times a bijillion‘ – ‚More streams together plllzzzz‘ – You’d like that, huh? You dirty little weirdos. Any last words to the audience, Hunt?“

„Uhm… I’m already taken, so I have to decline the marriage proposal. But thanks for the votes and everything! I really appreciate it!“

„You heard him! And you will never know what we’re gonna do next… in private. Kay thanx bye!“ After his signature abrupt last wave, Ketan bumped the phone against his forehead, then quickly turned off the camera. His grin instantly fell into an expression of pure guilt. „Hit me. Like, hard. Fist and all. I deserve it. That’s not how things were supposed to go down. I mean, it was my most successful stream ever and I’m eternally grateful for that, but I’m also honestly sorry.“

„No, it’s okay.“ Hunter waved a hand, visibly confused by Ketan’s sudden change in demeanor. „I should have said that I wasn’t feeling well. It kind of, you know, got to me with the whole contest thing and all and then it was too late. I’m just glad it all turned out fine in the end.“

„You’re too good to be true“, Ketan sighed. „And probably cold as hell, so how about a detour to my place for a hot shower and some tea? I owe you one, more than one, and it’s the least I can do.“

„Sounds great. My stomach’s still a little angry at me, I guess.“ Hunter’s hand drew a circle over the perfectly defined muscles of his abdomen. He seemed worn out, but mostly relieved. That was because he couldn’t possibly know at this moment that nothing was fine and that the steepest drop was only about to begin.

He found out soon enough when his phone started ringing.

[poppyandzena]

Since Poppy and co keep wanting to yammer on about sa via deception, I wanna say that I think, if you wanted to argue about whether there's deception, you also must argue if the "perp" is aware they were engaging in deception. For example, if someone faked their identity to sleep with someone, the perp is actively engaging in deception to fake their identity. They know they aren't actually whoever. Or someone with HIV, knows they have HIV, knowingly sleeps with people without protection. Deception. A grey situation where someone who has been disassociating and in a very stressful relationship, engaging in sexual intercourse and realizing later that they definitely no longer love the partner they had sex with, that isn't deception. NF TOLD Poppy and Zena not to come, initiated a break up that wasn't exactly undone (since P and Z insisted that NF pretend everything was okay, since they wanted to push the trip as a way to fix everything), POPPY initiated sex knowing that NF had tried to break up, and then NF put their foot down to solidify the break up. Where. Is. The. Deception? "W-well uh I couldn't consent because I have BPD and NF was my FP and tried to break up with me" Funny. Sounds like Zena should have attempted to stop the sex if they agree that Poppy was "in no condition to consent", then. Funny how they didn't do that... Also NF was disassociating during the conversations both of them had to browbeat NF into letting them come, it's interesting how NF's ability to consent to their visit never comes up during all this talk.

^

[campgender]

Thank you, Ulrika. My words tonight, my expression of fem power, grows out of the courage of the young fem-butch trans people, lesbian-feminist people, peace and gender activists both Palestinian and Israeli, with whom I spoke in Haifa, Tel Aviv, and Jerusalem two years ago. It is inspired by the courage of Raouda Marcos, the founder of ASWAT, the organization of Palestinian gay women, who fights for the lives of all her people on so many fronts.

In 2008, I found the poetry of Mahmoud Darwish, the Palestinian poet who died at age sixty-seven on August 9, 2008 in exile and who lived his life labelled as a ‘present-absent alien’ by the Israeli government. I will carry his words on this fem body for the rest of my life. Dear Poet, how did I find you, through the dusty roads of unknown histories, you whose words live on so many tongues? I was so ignorant of the love you poured into your differently metered lines, of your swirling solid notes of exile, of the white mare that runs down into the valleys no longer safe, that drinks from your fathers’ wells, now empty of their sense of self. I came as a stranger, a Jewish fem stranger, into your cadences of loss and exultation, into your Andalusian sunsets and endless stony roads that lead to children carrying fathers on their backs, to endless journeys past familiar olive trees but with no rest allowed, no fruit given.

I stood in front of the grey looming wall that divided life from life, that marked the loss of history for one people and the loss of a soul for another. That impenetrable wall, with its razor wire far above us, froze my fem queer body. And that is why I am here tonight. For many years, I have written, mapped, tracked the power of my fem desire, the strength of my thighs to grip the wanted body and shake it loose of its hard places, to offer my fullness of desire and flesh as a way through, as a break in the wall, as a yearning that refuses solid borders and policed boundaries. I have revelled in the thrust of penetration, the opening in the wall. In other writings, I have charted how desire for a certain kind of touch can push a woman off the map. And on that deserted sandy road in East Jerusalem facing the wall’s solid brutality, I had an inkling of a new fem politic, something beyond my earlier years of celebration of the fem-butch courage that had walked the hate-filled streets of Joseph McCarthy’s America.

How does a fem face history; how does my body, which always speaks of my desires, confront the atrophy of national compassion that so marks our world? A port of entry, a simple thing, a taking in, an opening in the wall. Over ruins so huge they threaten to blot out all hope, your words find me. I have tasted your heat, seen the olive trees in exile, decorative in the gardens of the usurpers. What a strange two the world would think us, a 1950s Jewish fem from the Bronx and the dying Palestinian poet who lives in every Arabic mouth—but the only way I can live in a world where such a wall exists is to take your words into my mouth. A port of entry, a simple thing, a taking in, an opening in the wall.

Joan Nestle’s 2009 speech at the Melbourne launch of the book Femmes of Power: Exploding Queer Femininities by Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl, as published in her foreword to Persistence: All Ways Butch & Femme, ed. Ivan E. Coyote & Zena Sharman (2011)

[beautifulfaaces]

Masterlist - Female Ginger

 2000s

Abby Donnelly

Beatrice Kitsos

Bebe Wood

Darby Camp

Ella Ballentine

Francesca Capaldi

Isla Johnston

Larsen Thompson

Liliana Mumy

Lilly Dreesen

Maggie Elizabeth Jones

Sadie Sink

Sadie Stanley

Sophia Lillis

Summer Fontana

90s

Abigail Cowen

Alexia Fast

Alina Bobyleva

Alina Kovalenko

Annie Thurman

Bonnie Wright

Carmen Solomons

Dakota Blue Richards

Debby Ryan

Elizabeth McLaughlin

Ellie Bamber

Emma Kenney

Georgie Henley

Georgina Sadler

Helena Barlow

Janet Devlin

Jeni Ross

Jordan Clark

Juliette Angelo

Katherine Barrell

Katie Stevens

Lily Newmark

Liv Hewson

Louisa Connelly-Burnham

Mackenzie Lintz

Madelaine Petsch

Madeline Brewer

Madison Lintz

Madisen Beaty

Molly Quinn

Poppy Gilbert

Rachel Hurd Wood

Rosie Day

Shannon Purser

Sophie Turner

Swantje Wördemann

Tavi Gevinson

Zoe de Grand Maison

80s

Alex Paxton Beesley

Amanda Righetti

Amy Manson

Amy Wren

Annette Lober

Ashley Bell

Barbara Meier

Breeda Wool

Brittany Allen

Brittany Snow

Cinitia Dicker

Danielle Kind

Diana Gómez

Emily Tyra

Emily Wilson

Evan Rachel Wood

Genevieve Angelson

Haley Strode

Holland Roden

Holley Fain

Holliday Grainger

Jade Ramsey

Jane Levy

Jessica Keenan Wynn

Jill Morrison

Josefine Preuß

Joy Nash

Julianne Hough

Juno Temple

Karen Gillan

Katie Leclerc

Lindsay Lohan

Lily Cole

Marcella Lentz-Pope

Maria Burghardt

Meg Steedle

Nicole LaLiberte

Palina Rojinski

Rose Leslie

Sarah Hay

Tuppence Middleton

Vanessa Bayer

Vanessa Lee Evigan

Zena Grey

Zoe Boyle

70s

Amy Adams

Antonia Holfelder

Chelah Horsdal

Clare Grant

Darby Stanchfield

Elisabeth Gelabert

Erin Chambers

Katherine Parkinson

Isla Fisher

Jessica Chastain

JoAnna Garcis Swisher

Lauren Ambrose

Marielle Heller

Nathalie Boltt

Rebecca Mader

Sabrina Grdevich

Sarah Rafferty

Sasha Alexander

60s

Alex Kingston

Amy Yasbeck

Andrea Sawatzki              

Connie Britton

Julianne Moore

Kate Walsh

Lea Thompson

Marcia Cross

Molly Ringwald

Rebecca Stab

Susan Walters

Tilda Swinton

50s

Annette Bening

Chloe Webb

Dana Delaney

Ellen Crawford

Laura Innes

Patricia Bethune

[legoshurtmyfeet]

Attraction 😍

Some thoughts for your Saturday -remember experiences aren’t universal and this is just me

So attraction is a funny thing and when I say funny I mean confusing, good grief have I been confused by this one over the years. and I think I’m going to have to talk about this a fair bit.

Where to start?!

So I’m a typical human growing up in a world where men and women get married and have babies and that’s just that. It’s what’s going to happen to me of course it is. Don’t even really think about it.

It’s the plan … find a boyfriend maybe one or two (but not toooo many obviously) that will probably happen at university. That’s when mum met dad. Very reliable story.

Once boyfriend found they’ll be sex. And then quite possibly marriage and then babies.

Perfectly normal 100% the expectation.

Except never really thought about my wedding or my dress or the names of my babies and that apparently is something else you do.

Except not really that keen on actual babies - bit scary if I’m honest. Small breakable, cute obviously but no need to rush these things.

No one I like anyway but that’ll come later.

Today I know there’s all these different types of attraction but who knew that in the 1990s not me for sure!

Turns out sexual/aesthetic are different which explains a lot, unfortunately I only found this out in my forties and frankly I could have done with the information a lot earlier.

The question to be answered is did/have I ever fancied anyone? Desired them for desires sake??

Well yes I said to myself…. Except really?

I think it’s safe to say I have never felt sexual attraction to anyone. Not once. The closest I get at times is some of those pictures of Oliver - I can glimpse it then, sometimes.

I like to say he puts the grey in my ace!

Oh and also Steve McGarett H50- he’s a very pretty man. But still I’m not sure if either of them came up and said hey you’re hot and I need you now I’d say yes.

Now on the other hand I like watching and reading about sex. I like sex itself, once it gets going.

I like how some people look more than others I know I like how women look, I like curves, I like boobs, I like brunettes

Teen me liked looking at Wonder Woman, zena warrior princess, with men

I like arms

I like hands

I like tattoos again I prefer brunettes, dark eyes people who are kind and n me ale ne laugh

But I hear that these things go with heat and passion and I couldn’t help myself and I needed you now, take me take me now!

Is that actually real? Honestly?

Because I never feel anything in my stomach my chest, my hearts not tripping, my pulse isn’t racing I don’t want … I see you write I wanna bite him and think how curious

So how are you meant to make sense of any of that

Serious question… I’ve been around a long time and I’m still confused about it

[the-art-of-professor-bagel]

@genderbenduniverse requested some genderbent Ninja

Now, info about name choices

Zena and Zane are both of unknown origin

Zena could maybe mean foreigner which given Zanes amnesiac travels I felt it fit

Keahi and Kai both have Hawaiian and fire meanings (though Kai in Hawaiian means sea

Jacey is a portmanteau of jay and the sound from names like macy

Crystal and Cole, they're both rock terms (well coal is)

Liadan and Lloyd are both Celtic and mean grey

(liadan is Irish and Lloyd is Welsh if you were wondering)

I could not find a meaning of nya on behindthename so that meaning may be inaccurate but

Nya and Neo both mean gift and are both African in origin

(nya from Swahili and Neo from tswana)

Pixal is gender neutral

[queersrus]

Hi, Fukase anon here! Sorry, It never occurred to me that people may have a hard time coming up with things for characters they don't know a lot about. Sorry :( /gen

Anyways, I really love the clown and red theme ideas! Also, since Vocaloid is technically a music software, I was thinking some music-themed names as well! Also, as long as this isn't too specific, could you maybe do some X-themed things since there's a lot of Xs in his design?

I also like the idea of the darker, edgier themes, but I'd rather not have anything explicitly horror/slasher/demon related... as someone who kins Fukase, being associated with that stuff brings back some rough memories :( /nm

I'm sorry if I'm being too specific or picky or anything like that, and I hope everything I've said makes sense! Once again, thank you in advance :)

no worries!!

heres some names and pronouns based of red, clown, dark/edgy themes and the letter x!

Music names:

muse, musa, musica, musette harmony melody, mic, major, minor clef, capelle, capella, cord, chorus note key tone, tempo, timbre bar, beat, bridge, bass, blue, blues sheet, strum, song, singer, sang, string, sonata, soul acoust, adagio, allegro, andante, arpeggio, amp, alto, aria instro, instra, instrumenta rythm/rhythm, ryme/rhyme, rock, rocker orchest, orchestra pitch, pop funk

list here, here

red names:

Altemur, altan, autumn, apple, amaranth, alhambra, alroy danla, desire, desiree parichat, phoenix, pepper, poppy/poppie cher, cherry/cherrie/cherri, crimson, clifford, copper, candy/candie, currant, carmine, carmin, chili, coral, corsen, clancy maroon, merlot, mahogany, mohagan blood, brick, berry/berrie, blush, burgundy, barn, burn, blaze ruby, rust, rusty, rose, raspberry, redd, rede, redde, reder, redi/redie/redy, reddet/redet/reddett/reddette/redett/redette, redeta/reddeta/reddetta/reddeta, redin/redine, redina, redino, roso/rosso, rufus/rufous, rowan, rosa, rosie, roisin, rory, radley, rudyard, radcliff, redmond, redman, rumo, russel/russell, rohan, redford, rufina, reeding/reading, reed, rogan, roone, roth garnet, ginger, gough scarlet, sangria, strawberry, sienna, sorrel/sorrell jam wine, watermelon fire, flame, ferrari, flan/flann, flannel, flanner, flannery, flyn/flynn, flanna vermilion, venetia imperia tart, torch hazel, harkin

clown names:

Joseph, john, joey grock oleg emmett/emet/emmet/emett bozo, barry ronald krusty penny, pogo, pinto charles sunshine weary, willie albert, antonio, arthur daniel, david, demitri/dimitri, Demetrius/demitrius tinsel

actually found a whole wiki here

Dark/Edgy names:

dusk, dagger, draven, drake, draco, damon/daemon, damion/damien/damian grey/gray, gunner/gunnar, greer keir, khaos, knox, kestrel umbra, umbro poison, pain/payne asteroth/astaroth, asher, ammo, astrid chaos, crow, coen, chase, casper, caspian, cassian, carter, cage, colton hades, hemlock, hex, hunter, hawk, harper somber, sombre, sombra, serpent, snake, saber, stone, storm, slade/slayde, sparrow, salem, snow, smoke, slayer necro, natrix, nox, nix, nyx, nero, nash branwen, briar, blackwell, blade/blaid, blair, blase/blaze/blaise raven, reven, requiem, rhapsody/rapsody, rogue, ryder, ryker, raze, razer eris, elysium, ebony jinx, jett/jet, jack, jason lucien, lucius, lock/locke viper, venom, vlad, vane/vain/vein, veil, vee/v wolf/wolfe trix/tryx, trixie, thorn, tyren/tyrin, tirent, torrent, tyranny, toxin, tank, tempest, tanner zeke, zena fox, flask, falkner, falkon/falcon onyx/onix, obsidian xena

X names:

xen/xene, xavier, xena, xeno, xenon, xeon, xero, xerox, xyx, xyr/xyre, xyra, xray, xeny/xenny/xenie, xenia, xander/xzander, xyla, xyler/xylar, xia, xavi, xylia, xylitol, xioa, xu, xan, xanth/xanthe, xanthus, xavia, Xinjiang, xinia, xenophon/xenophone, xayvion/xavion, xochitl, xio, xion, xiona, xiomara, ximena, xanthia

many here

red 3rd p pronouns:

list here and here

clown 3rd p pronouns:

list here and here

edgy/dark 3rd p pronouns:

list here, here

x 3rd p pronouns:

xe/xem, xy/xem, xy/xyr, xe/xyr, xy/lo, xylo/phone xyi/lotl, x/x's, ex/ex's, ex/exes, xay/xem, xay/xyr, xie/xem, xie/xyr xe/no, xeno/xenos, xeno/morph, cross/crossed, cross/crosses, x'ed/out, exed/out, ex/amble

hope these help!

[mumbojumbo84317]

Snow Day was released on this day in 2000. The film It starred Chris Elliott, Mark Webber, Jean Smart, and Chevy Chase with supporting roles by Schuyler Fisk, Pam Grier, Zena Grey, Josh Peck, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and David Paetkau. It earned $62.5 million at the box office.

[ru55411]

Zena Grey

[just---keep---simming]

The Howells - Summer 2

We rejoin the Howells, Lou and Rory, in Moonwood Mill, where summer has started off warm and rainy. Lou is trying to respect Rory's rule that any new werewolf recruits be either already beastly, or turned by their own choice. Unfortunately, people keep turning him down when he offers to bite them. Can't imagine why.

Hoping for better luck with an already-turned werewolf, Lou invites Joaquin over to the Mill to try and get to know him and initiate him into pack life. Joaquin has completed his transformation, and when in beast form is a rangy dark grey wolf. He is not pleased with Lou for the turning, but he has decided to try and learn a bit more about his new life. The work out together for a while and work towards getting more on the same page. Joaquin isn't ready to join the Wildfangs yet, though.

Rory is having more luck with her business ventures, happily. A freelance maker, she's now regularly taking jobs and turning out beautifully crafted rugs, lights, and candles. Her clients are mostly nice to work with and appreciative of the crafts she sends them. She doesn't make a ton of money, and nor does Lou with his part-time laborer job, but they manage their bills.

It helps that they're pretty self-sufficient. Lou does a lot of repairing and upgrades around the place, and if they need furniture, Rory will be able to manufacture it.

Of course, we all know someone who would heartily approve of such self-sufficiency, for sustainability reasons. Knox drops around to visit the Howells in his capacity as Eco Adviser, and introduces himself to Lou. The two have met briefly at the gym in the past, but hit it off properly as they start to get to know each other better. They have quite a lot in common, although Knox's wife's preference for cats over dogs might cause issues in future!

Speaking of dogs, one day during the summer I happened to spot a very cute dog wandering past. I quickly discovered she was a stray, so off Rory went to befriend and then adopt her. She and Lou are obviously dog people, and they were both thrilled to have the very cute spaniel Zena join the household.

Rory and Lou's fairly free schedules also meant summer was for relaxing and soaking up the great weather. Lou had developed a fear of swimming, which he conquered by confidently entering the water. Rory busted out her grilling skills, and many a summer barbeque was enjoyed over the season.

It wasn't all relaxing in the sun for the Howells, though. Rory was taking her job of shoring up the Wildfangs seriously, necessitating regular chats with other local werewolves. Wolfgang Wilder is part of the Moonwood Collective, but it pays to keep abreast of the happenings of other local packs.

Sometimes it's also necessary to put certain wolves in their place. Being an alpha is no joke, and Rory has the fighting chops to back up her place. Lou's aspiration requires him to become the alpha of his pack, but somehow I don't think Rory is going to be willing to cede power to him any time soon, if ever. She took the local bartender out the back to teach him a lesson, proving the necessity of keeping her place at the top.

It's always worth making sure any other occults who drop by the Mill are aware of whose the boss around here, too.

Following Rory's rampage and putting people in their places, I found Darryl Charm and Morgan Ember like this outside the bar. I have no idea what happened, but it very much looked like they were dead. Grim never appeared, though, and I saw Morgan wandering around right as rain later in the summer, so I guess whatever happened didn't end up being fatal!

Fortunately, for now at least, Lou seems content to let Rory occupy the place she has unquestionably earned and deserves more than him, as pack leader. He might finish his aspiration one day or he might not - it will depend what's best for the pack. For now, though, Rory is top dog, and that's kinda hot.

Lou enjoys having the time to get in plenty of workouts, and also to start contributing more cash to the household. He's pretty handy by now, so he gets ahold of a woodworking table and starts creating things to sell and boost the coffers.

Rory remains the main breadwinner, but Lou's extra work frees her up to make sure she stays current on werewolf culture and lore.

These two make such a great couple. The situation with Angela Pleasant was awkward, but I'm glad Lou and Rory ended up together.

They share the same goals, so they can work together without difficulty. They both want to grow the Wildfangs, and although Joaquin remains on the fence, another packless wolf they find hanging listlessly around the bar is open to a game of tug and a conversation about the Wildfangs. He's eventually coaxed to join, bringing the Wildfang's numbers to three. Success!

Rory and Lou celebrate with a meaty meal at the bar.

Before Lou has to nip off to the vet with Zena!

Finally, as summer is drawing to a close, Lou and Rory head to the top of Moonwood Cliff. Under the light of the all-important moon, Lou proposes to Rory, who delightedly accepts.

It's so romantic and perfect, just the two of them on the mountain that overlooks their beloved hometown and territory, that they elope and get married then and there.

And I think that's a great place to leave Lou and Rory - now also a Howell, rather than Oaklow, along with their new addition Zena. This fun, wild werewolf family have reached some big milestones in their relationship. Will kids come along next?

[poppyandzena]

I can't believe this has to be pointed out to Zena and Poppy but what makes someone asexual has to do with how they experience SEXUAL attraction. None at all (asexual), only with a bond (demisexual), rarely (greysexual), etc... it has nothing to do with ALL types of attraction.

"She(NF) directly states in multiple DMs that she's attracted to me. Thus not asexual"

How was she attracted to you? Did she mean aesthetically? Emotionally? Sensually (that's non-sexual BTW)? Is she grey ace or demi? Yes, it's important because you may think you're just trashing NF but really, you're trashing all aspecs and reinforcing aphobia. Thanks.

Stop apologizing to us because NF said she was ace too, maybe apologize for your own behavior. "Asexual people must all be secret rap1sts and p3dos and faking asexuality" is also something we deal with. Someone ace can commit SA, anyone can no matter what identity or sexuality, but that's not an excuse to shit on all aspecs and dictate who is allowed to be asexual because of a really hostile breakup. That's exactly like taking the right pronouns away from a trans person you don't like, it's gross. Stop it.

I can't believe I ever looked up to these people.

Thank you, anon. Asexuality can also impact libido as libido and attraction are separate. You can also be asexual and have groinal responses (baseline arousal). It's a spectrum and there has been ENOUGH acephobia and gatekeeping already.

What would happen if one of Poppy's clients was asexual? Sex repulsed, even? Would she pressure them into changing their medication or starting new ones like she did to NF? Would she invalidate their identity and call it a disorder like she did to NF? She admitted and endorsed what she did to Dormiyu.

What kind of LGBTQ therapist even is she if she treats asexuals like this?

[joyffree]

Indulge in the love-filled escapades of sisters Zoya and Zena, along with their spirited friend, Chiluba, in the enchanting 'Lagos Lovin' series by Camaa Pearl

Title: Gaga Crazy Book 1 - Currently FREE Friends-to-Lovers; Family Drama; Secrets; Billionaire The first in the Lagos Lovin' series about an ambitious young junior architect fighting her attraction to an elusive but charming online bestie.

Title: Bottom Belle Book 2 Age-Gap; Interracial Romance; Best Friends Uncle; Forbidden Romance; Billionaire The second book in the Lagos Lovin' series about a materialist caught between being loyal to her best friend and following her heart.

Title: Goody Bag Book 3 Fake Dating; Destination Wedding; Morally Grey Hero; Hate-to-Love; Billionaire The third book in the Lagos Lovin’ series about a romantic-turned-cynic, getting into a situationship with a charmer.