tashaj4de

[tashaj4de]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[tashaj4de]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[tashaj4de]

Sonic Racing Crossworlds' Miku 💙 I love her outfit sm!

[tashaj4de]

[tashaj4de]

Trial 3 - Melting Temperature Voice Drama (Side-by-Side English Translation)

Google Docs version of this translation. If using/reuploading/reposting this translation, do not remove the translator's notes and do not change the translations. Credit and link if using. Any additional Translator's Notes will be found in the replies and/or Google Docs. (Transcript may not be accurate and script directions were added with discretion. It will all be updated when the Trial 3 script books are released.) This is technically an interpretation (translation of an auditory source) translated into text. Check the original post before reblogging as TLs are occasionally revisited and edited.

エス　「ユノ」 ES: YUNO. ユノ　「看守さん？」 YUNO: Warden-san? エス　「第3審はお前が最初だな」 ES: You’re the first in the Third Trial. ユノ　「うん。そうだね。不思議な気分だな。ハルカがいない……ハルカ……。きっとあたしがハルカのこと面倒見てあげるって選択肢もあったと思うんだよな。でもなんか……あたしが触っていいものじゃないと思った綺麗だから…汚いからさ、あたし」 YUNO: Yep, that’s right. It feels kinda weird. HARUKA’s not here… HARUKA… I’m sure that there was probably a choice for me to take to take care of HARUKA. But, for some reason… it felt like he was someone I wasn’t allowed to touch, because he was beautiful… and I’m… dirty. エス　「僕のせいだわかってたのに……ムウの言う通り……こうなることはわかっていたのに」 ES: I knew it was my fault… Just like MUU said… I knew it was going to turn out like this. ユノ　「そうかもそうかもしれないね。そう言ってあげれば、少しは看守さんが楽になるへっ…」 YUNO: Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. If you say stuff like that, maybe it’ll ease your mind a bit, heh… エス　「そうだな…」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「あっ、いじめるのやめなきゃね！これが最後なんだし……」 YUNO: Ah- I gotta stop bullying you! This is the last time we’re gonna have something like this after all… エス　「お前には……いつも痛いところを疲れっぱなしだよ」 ES: You… always manage to strike where it hurts the most, you know. ユノ　「えっ…自分で死を選ぶことがいいことなんてもちろん思わないけどさ……あの子が死んだって知った時……あたしは少し揺らえましかったんだ。自分の命を投げ撃つほど大事なものに出会ったことがないから……やっぱりハルカは綺麗だなって思った」 YUNO: Eh… I don’t think choosing to die is a good thing, of course, but… when I found out that kid died… I was kinda shaken. I’ve never found something so important that it’s worth throwing my life away for so… that’s why I thought HARUKA really was beautiful. エス　「綺麗？ハルカかか？」 ES: Beautiful? HARUKA?? ユノ　「ん、うん。シドウさんもマヒルさんもだけどね。人殺しなのかもしれないけどさ……あの人たちはとても綺麗だった」 YUNO: Mhm, yeah. That includes SHIDOU-san and MAHIRU-san too. They might be murderers but… they really were beautiful people. エス　「わからないな僕には……まだそう思えない」 ES: I… don’t get it. I can’t see it- not yet, at least. ユノ　「悲しいの？看守さん」 YUNO: Are you sad? Warden-san? エス　「あぁ、そうだよ。僕はあいつらが死んで、悲しいんだ。どうすればよかったのか」 ES: Yeah, I am. They died and I’m sad. I don’t know what I should’ve done. ユノ　「わかんないよね、それは。一度しか無いんだから、人生のんって楽しめばいいんじゃないかな、たくさん。ずっとあたしたちと一緒にいてくれた、看守さんには、悲しむ権にくらいあるでしょ」 YUNO: No one really does. You only get one shot at life after all, so I think you should enjoy it as much as you can. Besides, you’ve been with us all this time, Warden-san. You have the right to be sad at least.

ES breathes out shakily. エス　「ずいぶん優しいじゃないか」 ES: You’re being awfully kind. ユノ　「普通だよ」 YUNO: I’m just being normal. エス　「少し意外だな。お前はどんな状況になっても、標標としているものだと思っていた」 ES: It’s a bit surprising. I’d thought you were the type to stay cool and unaffected no matter what happened. ユノ　「フ。本当に、あたしもそう思ってたなぁ」 YUNO: Heh- Honestly, I thought so too. エス　「何がお前をそうした……僕に、赦され続けたことか」 ES: What made you that way…? Was it because I kept on forgiving you? ユノ　「え？いいよ。別にそれはどうでもいいの」 YUNO: Huh? Nah. That stuff never really mattered. エス　「へぇ……まったく。看守しがいのない奴だ」 ES: Heh… Of course you’d say that. You’re not even the kind of person worth being a Warden to. ユノ　「看守しがいのある女になんかなりたくないからね」 YUNO: It’s exactly because I have no intention of being the kind of girl you’d want to protect. エス　「違いない」 ES: No doubt about that. ユノ　「でしょ？」 YUNO: Right? エス　「マヒルが……お前を変えたのは、ずっとカンビをしてくれてたんだろう」 ES: MAHIRU was… She’s the one who changed you. She was always looking out for you, wasn’t she? ユノ　「そうかもしれないね。変わったのかを知らなぁ、はしゃぐきになれないだけかも……あたしさマヒルさんが死ぬ時そばにいたんだよね」 YUNO: Maybe. I don’t know if I’ve really changed. Maybe I just can’t bring myself to be cheery anymore… I was there with MAHIRU-san when she died, y’know? エス　「そうか。ありがとう」 ES: I see. Thank you for being there. ユノ　「いや、全然だよ。シドウさんが死んじゃったら何もできなくてさ、弱ってくのを見てるしかなかった……。でも、たくさん喋ったんだよね。マヒルさん最後までおしゃべり大好きでさ……マヒルさんってすっごいおとめでさ……恋愛に夢見ててさ、大好きな人のお嫁さんになって、一緒に赤ちゃん育てるのが夢なんだって」 YUNO: No, not at all. I couldn’t do anything when SHIDOU-san died, I could only watch him get weaker… But, I yapped a lot with MAHIRU-san. MAHIRU-san loved to talk until the very end… MAHIRU-san was such a hopeless romantic… dreaming of love, wanting to be the bride of someone she loves, dreaming of raising a baby together. エス　「そうか。マヒルらしいな」 ES: I see. That sounds like MAHIRU. ユノ　「今時いないよね、あんな人。……本当…笑っちゃうよね。あんないい人の夢だった赤ちゃん……あたしみたいな女のところに来たんだよ」 YUNO: You don’t really see people like that these days. …Seriously…it’s almost laughable- That baby a good person like her dreamed of… ended up inside someone like me instead. エス　「ユノ……」 ES: YUNO… ユノ　「面白いよね？あたしが殺し��もの……マヒルさんが心から欲しがってたものなんだ……赦されたから何って感じでしょ。バカみたい」 YUNO: Isn’t it kinda funny? The thing I killed… was the very thing MAHIRU-san wanted most in the world. So what if I was forgiven? It’s just so stupid. エス　「……僕が言われたセリフをそのまま返すぞ」 ES: …Then I’ll just go ahead and return the words you once told me. ユノ　「えー？」 YUNO: Huh? エス　「悲しめばいいんじゃないか。笑わなくてもいいんじゃないか」 ES: It’s okay to be sad. You don’t have to smile or laugh around either. ユノ　「何言ってんの?」 YUNO: What are you saying? エス　「笑わなくてもいい。冷えた振りをしなくていい。お前にだって……悲しむ権利はあるだろ」 ES: You don’t have to laugh or smile. You don’t have to pretend to be cold. Even you… have the right to grieve. ユノ　「ない」 YUNO: I don’t. エス　「何故だ」 ES: Why not? ユノ　「いいんだよ」 YUNO: It’s nothing.

エス　「ずっと一緒にいたんだろ……ずっと話していたんだろう……人殺しどうしだろうと……友人だろ」 ES: You were always with them… always talking together… Even if you’re both murderers… you were friends. ユノ　「友人?」 YUNO: Friends? エス　「もう一度言うよ……悲しむ権利くらいあるだろう」 ES: I’ll say it again… You have the right to be sad. ユノ　「友人？なのかな？お互いどこの誰かも知らないのに」 YUNO: Friends? Really? We didn’t even know who each other really was. エス　「ああ……僕はそう思う」 ES: Ah… But it seemed that way to me. ユノ　「無理だよ……無理だ……」 YUNO: No way… There’s no way… エス　「抑える必要なんてない。悲しいもの、悲しいと言えばいい」 ES: There’s no need to hold it in. If something is sad, it’s okay to say it’s sad. ユノ　「悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん……悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん⁈　なんで？だって、あたしは赤ちゃんを殺したのに、殺したとき何も思わなかったのに、ハルカが死んだとか、シドウさんが死んだとか、マヒルさんが死んだとかで……悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん。」 YUNO: It’s not okay for me to be sad… I have no right to be sad!?!!! Why? I killed a baby. And I felt nothing when I did it. So how can I be sad now with HARUKA dying, SHIDOU-san dying, MAHIRU-san dying…? There’s no way I’m allowed to grieve. エス　「……ユノ」 ES: …YUNO. ユノ　「そんな資格なんてあれ訳ないじゃん……。あたしさ、全部わかんの。小さい時から相手が何したら喜ぶか大抵わかる……つまんないの、全部つまんないの！」 YUNO: There’s no way I have any right… I just- I get it, everything. Ever since I was little, I could usually tell what would make someone happy… It’s all so boring- Everything is boring! エス　「聞かせてくれ、お前のこと」 ES: Tell me… about yourself. ユノ　「適当なことやってさ、自分の中にもう一つ命があるって知って……ただただ気持ち悪いだけだったこの先、どういう人生をくるか分かっちゃった……めんどくさくなっちゃった」 YUNO: I was just messing around, then I found out there was a life inside of me… it just felt so gross. I could already see how my whole life would “have” to go from then on… I just got so tired of it all. エス　「だから…殺した」 ES: So that’s… why you killed it. ユノ　「そう…そうだよ。いや、わかんない。そうなのかな。考えてたらクラクラして、階段から落ちた」 YUNO: Yeah… I guess. Or maybe not. I don’t know. Thinking about it made my head all dizzy and I fell down the stairs. エス　「落ちた？」 ES: Fell? ユノ　「そう、落ちた。だからしばらくさんあたしここが死後の世界だと思ってたよ。赤ちゃんと一緒に死んだんだって」 YUNO: Yeah, fell. That’s why I really thought that this place was the afterlife for a while. And that I died with the baby. エス　「違うんだな」 ES: But that wasn’t it. ユノ　「ん。思い出した。ここに連れて来られるまでの記憶。階段から落ちて自分のお腹の中から命が失われて、入院してた。でもちょっと入院したら、学校に戻れたんだよね。最後の記憶は退院して初めての登校中……なんとも思わなかったんだよね……あたし。赤ちゃんが自分の中のからいなくなっても」 YUNO: Yep. I remembered my memories before I was brought here. I fell down the stairs, the life inside me was lost, and I was hospitalized. But after a short stay at the hospital, I was able to go back to school. My last memory is from my first day back at school after being discharged from the hospital… I felt nothing... Even though the baby inside me was gone. エス　「そういうものなのか」 ES: Is that how it is? ユノ　「ただ傷が治るように、何事もなかったように、日常に戻るんだなって……なんなんだろうね命って……そう思ったの覚えてる、何も感じない自分は変なんだって……」 YUNO: Just like a wound healing, life simply goes on like nothing happened… What even is life… I remember thinking that- and that something was wrong with me for not feeling anything… エス　「お前の気持ちを僕は簡単に理解できるとは言えない。でも、だからといってお前が人の死を悲しんじゃいけないわけじゃー」 ES: I won’t pretend that it’s easy to understand how you feel. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to grieve over someone’s death—

ユノ　「なんで他の人が死んで悲しむのさ。今更人の命の大事さに気づく。そんな勝手が赦される⁈　あたしがあの子にできることなんて…ずっとさめたままでいることだけだよ」 YUNO: Why do I get to be sad about someone else dying? Because I suddenly realized life is precious now? Because I’m permitted to be that selfish?! The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay [aware/numb] forever. [T/N: Because さめた (sameta) can mean either “to wake up to reality/to be disillusioned” or “to be cold/numb”, the sentence あたしがあの子にできることなんて…ずっとさめたままでいることだけだよ (atashi ga ano ko ni dekiru koto nante… zutto sameta mama de iru koto dake dayo) can mean: 1. The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay awake forever- to never dream and just stay in reality; 2. The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay numb forever.] エス　「お前はきちんと傷ついていたよ…。ただ、見てこなかっただけだ……自分の傷を……痛みを麻痺させていただけだと思う」 ES: You were definitely hurting… You just didn’t see it… You…numbed yourself to your pain. ユノ　「あんたに何がわからないよ。ただの子供でしょ」 YUNO: What would you know? You’re just a kid. エス　「わからないよ。お前と一緒で……まだ子供だ。でもお前の心の中を見てきたよ。お前の歌を……ずっと聞いてきたんだ……。自分で言うほど、お前は冷たい人間じゃないよ」 ES: I don’t know. You and me… we’re just kids. But I’ve seen your heart. I’ve listened to its entirety… your songs... You’re not as cold as you pretend to be. ユノ　「……そうか」 YUNO: …is that so. エス　「ぁ、そうだ」 ES: Yeah. ユノ　「看守さんはどうすんの?」 YUNO: So, what’re you gonna do now, Warden-san? エス　「どうとは？」 ES: What do you mean? ユノ　「まだ続けるの、ミルグラム……もう破綻してるでしょ、ココ。看守さんが続けなきゃいけない理由はある?」 YUNO: You still gonna keep MILGRAM going…? This place is already falling apart. Does Warden-san even have a reason to keep going? エス　「そう…だな。まだわからない。他の囚人と会っていく中で考えようと思う。」 ES: Yeah…maybe. I don’t know yet. I’ll think about it as I meet with the other Prisoners. ユノ　「そっか…それもいいかもね」 YUNO: I. see… Maybe that’s fine too. エス　「なぁ、 最後だから聞いていいか」 ES: Hey- Since this is the end, can I ask you something? ユノ　「ん?」 YUNO: Hm? エス　「お前はどうすれば満足だったんだ」 ES: What would’ve satisfied you? ユノ　「どういうこと?」 YUNO: What do you mean? エス　「赦されても、赦されなくても、不満だっただろ、お前」 ES: Whether you were forgiven, whether you weren’t forgiven- You wouldn’t have felt satisfied either way. ユノ　「うん。あたしもそう思う。ミルグラム自体気に食わないもん、言ったでしょ?人が人を裁くなんて無理だって」 YUNO: Yeah. I think so too. I’ve told you before that I never liked MILGRAM itself, right? And that people judging people, people deciding people is impossible- it doesn’t work out. エス　「よく覚えているよ」 ES: I remember it well. ユノ　「看守さんがなんとなく他のみんな音を判断したかはわかってるけどさ。あたしからしたら、結局全部好気嫌いだよ。立場は違えば…思うことなんて違うんだもん」 YUNO: I, more-or-less, know how Warden-san has judged everyone else. But to me, it was all just picking favorites- what you like and dislike. Different perspectives… different beliefs. エス　「そうだな……どんな囚人だって100対0なんてことはなかった……よくわかるよ」 ES: Yeah… I understand. No Prisoner was ever just Black-or-White… I get that now. ユノ　「あたしが何を求めていたか……こわ……大体看守さんの言いたいことはわかるよ。あたしは叱られ���かったのかもしれない？あとなんだろ、寂しかったのかもしれない？あたしから言わせれば、全部そうで、全部違う」 YUNO: What I was really looking for…? It’s a scary thought… I guess I kinda get what Warden-san is trying to say. Maybe I just wanted someone to scold me- to tell me I was wrong? Or maybe, I was lonely? If there’s anything I can say, all of it’s true and none of it’s true. エス　「どういうことだ」 ES: What do you mean?

ユノ　「こうに違いないとか、こう思わないのはおかしいとかさ……あたしが何を感じたかなんて決めつけないで…理由なんて一つじゃないし理由なんてないかもしれない。お願いだからさ、あたしのこと、分かりやすくしないでよ」 YUNO: Stuff like “It’s like this for her” or “It’s weird not to think this for her”... Don’t assume how I felt. There isn’t just one reason- there might not even be a reason at all. Please… don’t try to make me into something so simple. エス　「……お前らしいよ」 ES: …That’s such a you thing to say. ユノ　「うんうん。人間ってそういうもんなんだと思うよ」 YUNO: Yep, yep. I think that’s just how people are. エス　「そうか。勉強になったよ」 ES: I see. I’ve learned something today. A bell tolls from within the clock in the room. The structure of the interrogation room begins to change. ユノ　「もう？」 YUNO: Already? エス　「時間か……」 ES: Time’s up… ユノ　「そっか。お別れだね」 YUNO: Huh. This is goodbye, then. エス　「あぁ……」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「ちょっと……看守さん？」 YUNO: Wait a sec… Warden-san? エス　「なんだ？」 ES: What is it? ユノ　「ちょっとおいでよ」 YUNO: C’mere for a sec.

ES walks over slowly, as if the clock ticking down to the beginning of the end was of no issue. YUNO hugs ES. ユノ　「はい」 YUNO: There we go. エス　「……ユノ」 ES: …YUNO. ユノ　「ハグ。えへぇ……普段なら2.5撮ってるところだけど、無料にしておくよ」 YUNO: Hug! Ehe… Normally I’d charge 2500 for this, but I’ll let you have it for free. エス　「不欠だ」 ES: Scandalous. ユノ　「えへ。ウソウソ。マヒルさんならきっとこうしてお送り出したと思うからさ。看守さんのこと」 YUNO: Hehe. Just kidding. MAHIRU-san probably would’ve seen you off like this too. If it were you, Warden-san. ユノ　「ふぅ、いろいろ込めた。はい！」 YUNO: Whew- I put a lot into that- There! YUNO lets go of ES. ユノ　「終わり！なんて言うかさ、そうん……頑張ってよ！」 YUNO: The end! What else to say I guess… Do your best! エス　「はぁ……」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「看守さんにはいろいろ言ったし、今もミルグラムなんてくだらないって新速思うけどさ」 YUNO: I’ve said a lot to Warden-san, and I still think MILGRAM is a load of shit. エス　「まだ言うか」 ES: Still going on about that? ユノ　「あたしはここに来なかったら、自分のしたことを改めて考えることなんてなかったかもしれない。きっとあたしのしたことを日常の中に消えていた……あたしの中にもう一人いたこと、忘れてしまっていた」 YUNO: But if I hadn’t come here, maybe I never would’ve thought twice about what I did. It would’ve just disappeared into the background of my life… that another person had been inside me. I would’ve completely forgotten about it.

エス　「ユノ……」 ES: YUNO… ユノ　「あたしのことを考えてくれたことは、ありがとう。あたしを、もう一人か死んじゃってたけど。私たちを知ってくれてありがとう」 YUNO: Thank you for thinking about me. One person inside of me is already dead, but… thank you for getting to know us. エス　「僕も…お前を知れてよかった……忘れないよ…お前と、もう一人」 ES: I’m… also glad I got to know you. I won’t forget… you and the other one. ユノ　「それだけは……よかったかな。ありがとう、看守さん。バイバイ！また会えたらいいね！」 YUNO: If nothing else… I’m glad for that. Thanks, Warden-san. Bye-bye! Hope we meet again! エス　「あ、こちらこそ……ありがとう」 ES: Yeah… Thank you as well. エス　「囚人番号2番……。いやー」 ES: Prisoner Number 2… No- ユノ　「？」 YUNO: Huh? エス　「これは、要らないな」 ES: That’s not needed anymore. ES takes their hat off and throws it to the ground. ユノ　「もし……捨てちゃうの?」 YUNO: You’re really… You’re throwing it away? エス　「あぁ、ここからは看守じゃない。最後くらいは、ただの僕であろうと思う」 ES: Yeah, from here on out I’m not a Warden. At least for now, I want to just be me. YUNO smiles, impressed. It was time to say goodbye. ユノ　「フヘ……いいじゃん、エス」 YUNO: Heh… Not bad, Es. Es looks back at Yuno, the corners of their mouth matching the gentle expression on Yuno’s. Their eyes soften. エス　「樫木優乃、お前の罪を歌え」 ES: Yuno Kashiki, sing your sins!

[tashaj4de]

Rambling about Yuno's Third Trial: Life (MILGRAM)

I've never rambled about MILGRAM on my blog before, I think? But it's another series I follow aside from Royal Scandal! I've just been a very quiet audience member who occasionally comments on the videos and made my own interpretation based on the videos, translations and some of the comments, but now that we're on the Third Trial I figured-- why not? I've already rambled about Royal Scandal, so why not this series too? I've even made a fan OC after all!

So here's my rambles about Milgram-- specifically, about Yuno's third trial, "Life"! Under read more because I tend to type a lot and quite literally ramble my thoughts out as they come in hahaha

Alright, so first things first! One of the first things I noticed was that Yuno's style compared to her previous two trials is quite similar to Mahiru's this time around. She's even cut her hair short- when her third trial came out, I remember that many commented that she's making herself be very similar to Mahiru (and my second thought was "wow, of course they picked Rabbit Hole as her third trial cover song" HAHAHAHA). It felt more conservative compared to her previous outfits- or at least, that's how the bits of clothing we could see under her prisoner outfit looked.

Also, we see a corset around her stomach- which is interesting, as during the previous trials we had seen her wearing her school uniform and an outfit that was... considerably looser and meant for bed. Aside from the outfits she had worn for her dates, neither of these outfits clenched her stomach all that tightly. Her uniform is an outfit that tends to make one think of something more innocent and youthful, while her nightwear is the opposite- more provocative and "adult". So what does this third trial say?

Someone in the comments said that her outfit is very "medieval" and I can see why. There's not only the corset, but long sleeves that are puffy on the forearms and shoulders with her chest fully covered up to her neck with ruffles forming at the end, and a long skirt which is either overlayed with another skirt bunched up like a sash at the top or well... a sash. A sash that has a little tendril hanging at the front- like an "umbilical cord". Oh, and fluffy slippers. But I want to talk about the sash.

When I realized that there was that hanging piece of "sash", my eyes were immediately drawn to the bits of red at the end of it. This is why I think it represents an umbilical cord, as it likely represents the sudden severance of the life of her baby from her body.

I went back and looked at her prisoner outfit to check if any of these details were the same as the MV, but nope! While both Trial 1 & 2 she seemed to be wearing two different school uniforms (maybe the summer and winter versions of her school uniforms?), Trial three has her wearing tight long sleeves, a long skirt, black socks, and black slip-ons. It was definitely as conservative as her MV outfit though. But it also made me think- in a way, could it also count as a "mourning" outfit? Because of it's dark and more muted colors (sans the sleeves).

One more thing I'd like to note before I move on to actually talking about the MV is that Mahiru also has puffy sleeves- at least, her Season/Trial 2 prisoner outfit does. So that's another reason why I think Yuno is dressing like Mahiru to honor her in some way. Probably because in some ways they're similar. But I'll get to that later.

Now for the actual video. From the very start, Yuno says 「So, it's goodbye after this, right? It's the end, so I'm gonna share everything」. She's lying down on a bed that resembles the one she was in her Tear Drop video and surrounded by- okay looking at it now I was going to say "intestines", but I'm pretty sure that's an Umbilical cord. the room is red and white, like the insides of a person- white for bones, specifically. The entrance with the stairs and scales made me think it was a girl's "private part", but at the same time it also made me think of a Uterus.

Aside from those, the room's furniture and layout upon closer inspection made me think of a nightclub, with all the couches and bars. Save for the very center where Yuno is lying down, and the cord winding around the room, both sides mirror each other. There's also something resembling a tub, or a bathtub, by the area Yuno is.

The scene then moves to herself in what looks to be a nurse's office, in her school uniform- the way she looks during her first Trial. She speaks to the nurse politely and leaves, taking out a train pass with MILGRAM on the bottom right (I don't life in Japan so I can only assume it's something resembling a train pass). This "train pass" however actually seems to say her schedule before she actually goes to a train station.

So I used google translate for this to understand the rest of what it said (since I could tell that the biggest letters were atashi 「 あたし 」which is a way of referring to oneself) and it seemed to be a "schedule" for self-study- making me think this is her way of just saying she needs "me time". The upper right states she's been attending school for six months now (likely since she started that particular school year, rather than when she started High School since she's 18 years old rather than 15-16) and the bottom just states her name and age. The squared kanji got translated as "continue" but I'm not sure if that's correct, so someone else tell me what it means.

She sings- or raps/speaks fast, similar to Mahiru- about what her crime is. It's really firm confirmation that she had engaged in compensated dating and that her crime is the murder of her own child, who had died soon after Yuno found out she was pregnant. Maybe it's because of her experiences in Milgram, but compared to before where it always seemed like she felt she did nothing wrong, this time she stated that she wanted "you" to care enough to scold her and tell her she was wrong. Why call her "indecent" and "careless" but still judge her "innocent"? Isn't that a contradiction? So why...? Might be along the lines of what she's thinking.

She also states her confusion on how she got pregnant in the first place. She was always so careful after all, using protection and contraceptives. So "how" did this happen?

But at the same time she thinks "is this the warmth she's been searching for?" Not the comfort of men, but the warmth of being a mother? Having a child of her own?

By that line, it feels like it became clear why she was in the nurse's office in the first place. She wasn't feeling well- she was likely experiencing morning sickness and her heightened emotions due to the rise in her hormones. This was especially shown off when she was in the train station and nearly fell in front of an incoming train.

And in this moment of confusion, no one was with her. Not a single friend who went with her to make sure she was okay, just her alone on the train heading off somewhere.

So when we see her going into a closed off area, likely an area that was abandoned, getting demolished, or getting reconstructed, it made me think she just wanted a place to think. A place to feel free, to think about what to do from here. Should she keep the baby? Even if it means she gets ostracized by society? She's so young after all, and there's no doubt that many would criticize her going into compensated dating and taking it that far. But that means she should just get rid of it, right? But even doing that would reveal what she's been doing, and she's done quite well keeping it a secret all this time-

But then another wave of sickness hits and she gets far too dizzy to remain standing. She falls backwards, unable to catch herself this time, and miscarriages.

She didn't even have a chance to choose what she wanted to do with the child. That choice was made for her. That small life in her belly was extinguished in that moment, and she couldn't do anything about it.

This whole time, her current, present self followed the projection of her past self. Singing her point of view, how she felt guilty that she survived instead of the small life inside of her. Why did she, who had engaged in actions considered "wrong" by society, had been called names for what she's done... still gotten "Forgiven"? Despite everything?

She's powerless as she she tries to save not her past self- but her unborn child.

Regardless of what she thought before, or what she seemed to think before it happened, it didn't matter. She felt guilty that she had survived instead of the child. Why did her baby have to die instead? Was it because she wavered? It didn't matter that she had been conflicted as to whether she should keep the baby or not. She didn't get to make the choice in the end.

Yuno apologizes to Mahiru for her inaction, perhaps in part because she was being reminded of her own inaction to save her child, and wishes to meet again.

And at last, we see her file.

And we now have confirmation. There was "no problem" with her household, and outwardly she was a "good girl", more or less a model student to everyone who knew her. At some point during High School she engaged in compensated dating, or "sugar dating" as it's called here, but it wasn't for money.

She always spent money she gained from those dates on her friends, so it seems she really was just seeking "warmth" from various men she slept with. It seems almost literal, really, since she herself stated she wasn't interested when they confessed to her. She's always been good at reading people and acting in a way that make others happy, so she used that ability to be able to feel "warm".

It's not surprising that she grew cold and numb inside. Not with how the world around her was and no one truly seeing her, not her friends nor the adults around her. At least the men she had her activities with were honest about her desires. At least they gave her warmth, and a bit of "kindness" alongside money, though she never saved the money for herself.

And amidst all her confused feelings about getting pregnant, that life is gone in an instant when she faints and falls down the stairs.

And she's just left with guilt. She was confused, sure, but why didn't she even get to choose if she wanted to keep the kid or not? To decide if the child robbing her warmth was worth it? She felt guilty and no one was scolding her.

And here, in MILGRAM, she could hear people first say she was a "poor girl", a "misled teen", someone so "innocent", then get forgiven- and then "this was the consequence of your actions", "serves you right", "she knew what she was doing", and get looked down on but still get forgiven anyway? What is she supposed to think?

She's lost and confused and witnessing Mahiru's death broke her further. She was already feeling "broken", and the death of someone she grew close to, despite what she told herself, hurts her. In a way, she could be seeing the death of her child all over again- she didn't have much choice. She could've made a choice, but she didn't.

And now, once again, it's too late.

With end of Yuno's MV though the words 『—————Save data from the point where the subject resumes normal life post regaining consciousness to MILGRAM』 caught my attention. Post. Meaning after Milgram.

The end of Haruka's file had different words in contrast, 『—————Save data as of the dawn of the following day to MILGRAM』

Does this mean afterwards, the prisoners who survived leave MILGRAM and resume normal lives? Haruka's seemed to imply that after his death, we just see a document that recorded his crime and ends with his death in MILGRAM. So what does Yuno's mean? That the prisoners deemed innocent are let out after?

That's all for me thoughts on Yuno's Third Trial, at least for now! I'll wait for a translation for her voice drama and all and ruminate on what we've learned as an audience. I'll probably be back when Futa's MV comes out, on August 20!

[tashaj4de]

Felt like doodling a new profile picture for myself! And hoping maybe if I draw with rain enough times, it'll rain enough to make the heat lessen too...

I was mostly playing around with brushes I've been accumulating over time in CSP hehe I ended up not using the bg I made with the brushes, but I'm still pretty happy with how this turned out!

[tashaj4de]

Introducing Our Life: Everyone Is Derek! In this play style, everyone is Derek. You, all main characters, and even NPCs are, in fact, Derek. We hope you have fun in Sunset Bird, Derek! 🤭

Love, Derek 💕

[tashaj4de]

hey so in tangled it just occurred to me

When Rapunzel hoists Gothel back up into the tower, Gothel does none of the work, just hangs on and lets Rapunzel exhaust herself.

When Eugene is getting up into the tower using Rapunzel's hair, he makes the effort to climb- partially because Rapunzel was chained up, sure, but I think if she had been pulling her hair up too the way she did with Gothel, he still would have been climbing.

Because Eugene makes effort to be close to Rapunzel, while Gothel expects Rapunzel to put in all the work.

[tashaj4de]

relax and reflect

[tashaj4de]

I hope I'm not too late with the mouthwashing lol. And yes, I'm back lol.. Sorry that there were no posts for a long time..

[tashaj4de]

I made another incorrect EPIC quotes comic! The general script idea came from reddit user Creative_Army1776

[tashaj4de]

Page doll chibis commission for @dragonscalevalor !! I had so much fun trying to put in the details of your charas into tiny forms, thank you so much for commissioning me!!

[tashaj4de]

OHHHH NICE CATCH!! I completely forgot the falling box of "EAT ME" sweets during Anti-Queen of Hearts! I think that's exactly the items in that scene!

A random ramble about Royal Scandal's new MV of Cherry Hunt

IT'S HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!! I was eating dinner so I couldn't watch it during the premier, but that won't stop me from commenting!

Like last time, this is a comment I put on the official upload of the new MV but decided to put on tumblr (again)! Because why not!

....And I maybe I just want to find more Royal Scandal mutuals...

As usual, ramble is under the Read More button!

First things first AAAAA THEY REMADE THE MV, MADE A NEW INSTRUMENTAL, AND KANON69 RECORDED IT DIFFERENTLY FROM HIS PREVIOUS SELF-COVER!! It's great to see scenes such as Rosetta helping Chelsea with her accessories, more snippets of the staff of the Bar Masquerade (A clear shot of Lilian and Kevin!! Aylmer just behind both the Royal Scandal logo and Sven!! ROSETTAAAAAAA!!! Aylmer was there carrying Chelsea's dress!!! We get to see a conductor guiding the orchestra and a brief look at another songstress too~), and just generally seeing the MV in the art style RAHWIA currently has in her artworks. I'm also just realizing that both Rosetta and Lilian have diamond earrings! Or at least, are wearing a diamond earring on their left ears. I'm not sure if they're from the same pair because Lilian's is blue and and Rosetta's is yellow, but it does make me wonder if Lilian herself had worn them and had been affected by the curse at some point...

I don't know why I didn't expect that Chelsea would change over time, of course she wouldn't be the exact same innocent girl that we saw her grow out of being. She became famous and her looks definitely show a more "sexy", arrogant, and conceited side to her over time. The accompanying story also confirming that alongside the fact that she got "bored" hits so hard- and when the new story specifically states she's choosing "love over dreams" and Lewis choosing the opposite, "dreams over love"? It made me think that Chelsea is truly Lorena's daughter, though Lorena in the original timeline had picked her dreams instead of love...

I'm surprised that there's a few lyric changes here and there though! Probably the most significant one that most people have noticed is definitely "Ah, don't stop loving me" turning into "Don't stop to love me". It feels especially more significant in the scene where Lewis puts a blanket over a sleeping, puffy-eyed Chelsea. Somehow in this version rather than seeming like someone who'd just play with feelings, the way his expression was drawn made me think that he was looking over gently, with the red coloring his white shirt being part of Chelsea's hazy mind already placing dreams over reality- but it also makes me think it represents his love for her! (And if I recall correctly, the reason he doesn't pursue her is because of the key showing him the future... Lewis.....)

AND THEN THE VERY LAST PART!! At first I was thinking omg it's the silhouettes of the cursed items but then!! After watching it several times (and still rewatching it as I type all this), I realized it's actually references to the Royal Scandal songs! It really makes this fitting as Episode 0~

WHAT ARE YOUUUUUUUUU?!

I wasn't sure what the translucent object was though. At first I was thinking maybe it's the spotlight that fell in REVOLVER? But it also looks like a spade symbol attached to a band, or a ribbon... or maybe a decoration atop translucent cloth? With the debris around it, it could also represent the aftermath of Alam on the floor after Olivia escaped in Beast in the Beauty.... the boat right beside it is definitely Mermaid Theater though!

AND CLOSING IT OUT WITH SILHOUETTES OF THE BAR MASQUERADE PEOPLE AND THE TOP OF A CLOCK SHOWING XII AAAAAAAAAA and right in front of closed curtains! It feels like such a fitting way to end Episode 0 aaaaaaaaaa

Now I feel more certain of some timeline aspects though, since Rosetta is in her outfit as a songstress this means REVOLVER (and by extension BULLET) is before this song, with Queen of Hearts possibly being right after Cherry Hunt (it could also be before though, since it's a dream sequence), and Bitter Sweet (and by extension Mermaid Theater) would be some time after Cherry Hunt! Since Chelsea already had her sad gaze of longing during Bitter Sweet.... ; v ;

Great job as always, Royal Scandal team!

[tashaj4de]

[tashaj4de]

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

[tashaj4de]

A random ramble about Royal Scandal's new MV of Cherry Hunt

IT'S HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!! I was eating dinner so I couldn't watch it during the premier, but that won't stop me from commenting!

Like last time, this is a comment I put on the official upload of the new MV but decided to put on tumblr (again)! Because why not!

....And I maybe I just want to find more Royal Scandal mutuals...

As usual, ramble is under the Read More button!

First things first AAAAA THEY REMADE THE MV, MADE A NEW INSTRUMENTAL, AND KANON69 RECORDED IT DIFFERENTLY FROM HIS PREVIOUS SELF-COVER!! It's great to see scenes such as Rosetta helping Chelsea with her accessories, more snippets of the staff of the Bar Masquerade (A clear shot of Lilian and Kevin!! Aylmer just behind both the Royal Scandal logo and Sven!! ROSETTAAAAAAA!!! Aylmer was there carrying Chelsea's dress!!! We get to see a conductor guiding the orchestra and a brief look at another songstress too~), and just generally seeing the MV in the art style RAHWIA currently has in her artworks. I'm also just realizing that both Rosetta and Lilian have diamond earrings! Or at least, are wearing a diamond earring on their left ears. I'm not sure if they're from the same pair because Lilian's is blue and and Rosetta's is yellow, but it does make me wonder if Lilian herself had worn them and had been affected by the curse at some point...

I don't know why I didn't expect that Chelsea would change over time, of course she wouldn't be the exact same innocent girl that we saw her grow out of being. She became famous and her looks definitely show a more "sexy", arrogant, and conceited side to her over time. The accompanying story also confirming that alongside the fact that she got "bored" hits so hard- and when the new story specifically states she's choosing "love over dreams" and Lewis choosing the opposite, "dreams over love"? It made me think that Chelsea is truly Lorena's daughter, though Lorena in the original timeline had picked her dreams instead of love...

I'm surprised that there's a few lyric changes here and there though! Probably the most significant one that most people have noticed is definitely "Ah, don't stop loving me" turning into "Don't stop to love me". It feels especially more significant in the scene where Lewis puts a blanket over a sleeping, puffy-eyed Chelsea. Somehow in this version rather than seeming like someone who'd just play with feelings, the way his expression was drawn made me think that he was looking over gently, with the red coloring his white shirt being part of Chelsea's hazy mind already placing dreams over reality- but it also makes me think it represents his love for her! (And if I recall correctly, the reason he doesn't pursue her is because of the key showing him the future... Lewis.....)

AND THEN THE VERY LAST PART!! At first I was thinking omg it's the silhouettes of the cursed items but then!! After watching it several times (and still rewatching it as I type all this), I realized it's actually references to the Royal Scandal songs! It really makes this fitting as Episode 0~

WHAT ARE YOUUUUUUUUU?!

I wasn't sure what the translucent object was though. At first I was thinking maybe it's the spotlight that fell in REVOLVER? But it also looks like a spade symbol attached to a band, or a ribbon... or maybe a decoration atop translucent cloth? With the debris around it, it could also represent the aftermath of Alam on the floor after Olivia escaped in Beast in the Beauty.... the boat right beside it is definitely Mermaid Theater though!

AND CLOSING IT OUT WITH SILHOUETTES OF THE BAR MASQUERADE PEOPLE AND THE TOP OF A CLOCK SHOWING XII AAAAAAAAAA and right in front of closed curtains! It feels like such a fitting way to end Episode 0 aaaaaaaaaa

Now I feel more certain of some timeline aspects though, since Rosetta is in her outfit as a songstress this means REVOLVER (and by extension BULLET) is before this song, with Queen of Hearts possibly being right after Cherry Hunt (it could also be before though, since it's a dream sequence), and Bitter Sweet (and by extension Mermaid Theater) would be some time after Cherry Hunt! Since Chelsea already had her sad gaze of longing during Bitter Sweet.... ; v ;

Great job as always, Royal Scandal team!