tatelangdon29

[tatelangdon29]

oh my, oh my, oh my, OH MY UNGODLY LIVING do these people call me out. i do not want anyone to want me whole right now. i say that sometimes meaning it fully and sometimes with the hope which i disguise as doubt for people actually wanting me, my existence. everyday gets a little harder to get through and past. it is not because there's something that's stopping me, i am not even depressed, it is just my pessimism about all beyond the doors and windows of my room that drains and sucks the energy from inside my soul before i even manage to open my eyes at the start of the day.

currently i hope though, i really hope he remembers of my existence because he is the only one i want myself to be perceived as something living. the world is cruel sometimes, and other times it isn't, but the entirety of my 'other times' consist of him consuming my being. he is all i am becoming, my mind and soul, he consumes me and so i do not want to live. living knowing that i am his but he refuses to be called mine is much painful than not being or having the strength to breathe sometimes. that is all, existing has begun to hurt now. every breath feels like a burden, one i have to live with all the time my heart unwillingly beats. oh to be invisible, to be forgotten by people would be so great, it would be peace. it would give my burning heart some solace knowing i don't really have to be a part of this society anymore but then again, it would take courage to actually end everything and to be actually invisible. it would pain, it would sting.

Jane Hirshfield, from Meridian Anthology of Contemporary Poetry, "To Spareness"

[tatelangdon29]

I just hope that after all that pining Penelope realises her worth and also the fact that she literally has the entirety of the ton under her thumb like girl, what are crying for? you could make Colin Bridgerton bark like a dog if you wanted to and the queen fall to her knees trying to figure out who you are. all that power, i hope she sees and recognises it lmao.

she's so fucking powerful.

penelope is stronger than colin because she was able to hold all that ache in for years, meanwhile colin pined for her for weeks and was already so alcoholic and lonely and on the brink of just fully falling apart. she really might have fallen first, but boy did he fall harder. never change colin bridgerton

[tatelangdon29]

— via jitterati

[tatelangdon29]

"I Love my Girl, She's my Boy"

Recently came out as trans, have been speculating since 2020, changing sexualities and never feeling much satisfied with it. mainly like girls more than boys but feel like a guy whenever i date a girl?seems like i have always really had body dysphoria but never realised it now. i would just wanna be a guy and i was dumb enough to think that most of the girls do somehow dream about what it must be like to be a boy but turns out im wrong, lmao. like a week ago, i was really feeling blissful walking on the deck near water with my friends and blurted out "man i wish i could be a guy" and the next sentence said by my friend changed my perspective about everything. they said "ummmm Svetlana (deadname) i don't think that's how cis people think like that-" and i died. my soul and mind went to heaven and back and i have never felt more seen. so yes! Leo was born and i have started using he/they pronouns BUT i was in a good, very healthy and stable straight relationship with a guy, best boyfriend ever and yep, he is not gay so obviously does make things very difficult to navigate with that and as much as it sounds cringe, i do love him. he has surprisingly become one of my closest friends and i would proudly include him in my support system and he really even is very supportive about all this but he won't be able to see me as a guy romantically and that's where the grey area is. it breaks my heart to choose between love and self love and it is what it is. this was a lil rant hehe in response to a very confusing life :)

🏳️‍⚧️ First entry as Leo, 21 May 2024. 🏳️‍⚧️

[tatelangdon29]

Started reading Lore Olympus again yesterday, not my comfort read but okay can we please talk about this line?? this beautifully crafted line!!

Aidoneus (Hades) is literally one of the most respectful guys.

Also loads of appreciation for Rachel Smythe!!

[tatelangdon29]

Need to literally just finish reading six of crows only for these two. i mean- literally.

You're too sweet for me.

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[tatelangdon29]

I would do that too tbh

[tatelangdon29]

My loneliness ages like wine.

[tatelangdon29]

what do you call the feeling when you realise that you pushed everyone away without even knowing that you are, bit by bit, day by day. got called by my brother today, he's not my biological brother but i called him that because he was the closest thing to having a real one, one i always wanted. until last year, he knew everything about me. he was the one i'd run to for advice even though i'd never use it but yeah, he knew. the same man, only today found out that i have started dating a guy and have been dating him for a month or so. he didn't even know his name or anything about his existence. he felt the distance between us then.

[tatelangdon29]

Karma is the girl on the screen coming to a theater near me! Whether it’s your first or 13th time, grab your tickets to see TAYLOR SWIFT | THE ERAS TOUR concert film only in theaters in North America starting on October 13th so we can experience our favorite tour memories together again. Tickets available at AMC, Cinemark, Regal and Fandango.

Pssssst: What’s your friendship bracelet going to say? 🫶

[tatelangdon29]

no comments only truth here.

the marketing for xo kitty being ridiculously heteronormative and then the show being extremely gay is so funny

[tatelangdon29]

It just like me for real when i get a new soft toy or a new pen and absolutely have to call my best friend, my grandparents and my girlfriends to show it to them. i AM EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED NOONE ARGUE.

[tatelangdon29]

I love how their friendship has grown only because they were hungry and because they both care about Charlie.

1.05 / 2.08

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TAYLOR SWIFT – 1989 (TAYLOR'S VERSION)

OUT OCT 27

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GOOD OMENS 2

Chapter 6: Every Day

[tatelangdon29]