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I am a systemfluid system some of us are trans some of us are cis how can we medically trasition

okay, basically what we ended up figuring out was.

(This will be different for you bc we are probably intersex so we haven’t needed HRT or anything since we just look androgynous as fuck and are just like this)

Some people when they front can 100% do whatever they want some of us basically talk so masculine we just pass, some of us talk really feminine we pass just fine as well.

if you want you can start HRT bc it’s actually pretty harmless and you can get your desired results and most people in your system are usually fine with it, though 100% you NEED to talk it over. (For us it wasn’t really a talk that needed to happen bc we are so androgynous it doesn’t really matter what gender someone presents as bc it works out fine.)

You don’t need to actually transition if it’s just such a god damned hassle, sometimes it’s best for everyone to take it slow and figure out exactly what everyone wants. Most of us are women in our system and the men don’t really give a shit, it’s only really me who’s non-binary and presents that way. And for me I’m very happy with having facial hair and breasts lol. (Again probs intersex it would explain a lot)

If you want you can bind/pad and see how you feel, like you have to figure out first what exactly you want and also next how your gonna do it. If you want temporary stuff that’s easy to do and you can be very happily as a woman and or man or androgynous if you want! Sometimes you have to play around until you figure out what exactly you’re doing.

Again you gotta talk it over with everyone, if I was getting top or bottom surgery I’d talk it over with everybody (we don’t really want to since we are super happy as we are.) but communication is key and if one person regrets and feels awful bc of it that’s gonna be hard to sort and compromise on. Last time we tried to compromise on things we ended up screaming at each other and it was genuinely NOT GOOD. So yeah please communicate with everyone and compromise, it’s gonna suck ass otherwise people will be mad you didn’t let them know about a pretty big life change that was happening.

You don’t need to fully medically transition to be happy, sometimes just HRT is enough for everyone to be happy. You do what you need and also remember to talk it over with everyone, it’s best when everyone is on board. Sometimes we will have insane gender dysphoria, I used to be so eaten up inside by it then I learned “hey it’s because you as a person are fundamentally different from the body you have of course your gonna feel like that” and then some things got easier, but do what makes you all happy not just one person.

i cannot reiterate enough that you MUST communicate well, if not you will have so many regrets oh my god the regrets.

There are tons of cross dressing resources out there, check them out and see what appeals to you guys. Then from there figure out what you wanna change your actual body to.

remember to talk about any side effects that might happen with HRT because everyone’s different, (you might be allergic to some types and need to change over to another one) read up on trans and intersex resources. And have fun!

That’s all I really got, mostly you have to figure out exactly what you want first and then talk it over.

But HRT In general is great, it’s easy to discontinue if need be, it gets the desired results, and it’s a very effective and reliable method of gender treatment! (It’s been used for ages and ages)

I wish you guys the best of luck!

[the-bad-advice-blog-3]

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

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the rage I feel towards people victim blaming me and blaming me in general for my situation after my spinal cord injury comes 100% from the many total strangers have supported me online and people I barely know kept a roof over my head when I literally almost ended up dead on the street. and some random fucking assholes want none of that to matter or mean anything because they have adhd and you didn’t experience that so I’m lying and making it all up and exaggerating etc. It’s so fucking revolting and insulting. I’ve been through so fucking much and you don’t get to just decide I didn’t because I disagree with you

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there’s this dude in band (alto sax) who i’ll call Ass for privacy or whatever. we first met in 7th grade and he basically decided to hate me. it started off with light teasing. i’m perfectly fine and endorse light teasing, but i didn’t really tease back. it got worse over 8th grade and definitely over summer marching band. Ass has the balls to hate me to my face, but still.

my friend who’s also in band wants me to tell the director and get him kicked. my argument is snitches-get-stitches and i don’t think it’ll get Ass kicked. we plan to tell the director tuesday (idk what day or time that is for you. idk your time zone) but i’m scared to.

i can take Ass in a fight, i’ll beat him in like 3 seconds, but i dont want his friends to spread rumors abt me for it. most everyone in band hates Ass anyway. what should i do?? sorry for that super long ask that was more like a vent.

-star anon

as you say you can easily take him in a fight, if he comes back to fight you? Just slap him in the face

But you are physically stronger and you should restrain yourself.

nothing too hard or serious that’s not the point.

bullies will pick on you because your a easy target, people will pick on you because your a easy target.

If you make yourself not a easy target by slapping his face kinda hard he’ll probably back off.

again rinse and repeat until he fucks off, or just start having angry posture and facial expressions at him.

like bear your teeth, say things with venom at him. (Like really filled with hatred, like “oh.. you”)

you want to prove you are not a target, and as soon as you do?

he’ll fuck off.

I say go report him, if he comes to fight you? Give him a fight, again just slap him in the face. It’s enough to be painful while not leaving any lasting problems.

Again only if you can’t sort it out via intimidation, bear your teeth be angry around him, speak to him with venom.

but if you can get him kicked out without resorting to violence that’s a good thing!

Try your best and it will be enough.

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we’re a closeted system. how do you tell a little they can’t front because they can’t act like me?? i’ve said that exactly to them but they don’t understand. the kid’s like 8-10

You need to compromise, like maybe say “hey it’s not safe right now to be out. But! Later you can be out for an hour if you want and you can do something you want!”

and set up a time and some space for them to be able to be themselves for a bit, it makes things way easier for everyone.

because from my trials and errors it’s just easier in the long run to not push them away.

I’ve burned a lot of bridges with my system that I’m barely rebuilding, so trust me when I say it’s a good idea to sort out some time for the littles or just whoever to be themselves.

at nighttime is a good time, but whenever you can is best.

but make compromises 100% because otherwise you will both be unhappy.

I hope this is of some use.

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If you experienced trauma at the hands of an abuser you may have a high tolerance for bad behavior. Learn boundaries.

You could have just as easily said that. The use of the word "narcissist" serves no purpose.

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i stalked ur blog after you liked some of my stuff

very cool (genuine)

awe no prob!

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same anon from the past 2 asks (answered anyway) is it ok if we go by star anon?

sure star anon!

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same anon from earlier (i’ll think of an anon name sometime i promise). i’ve talked it over with some alters and they said to not do anything. what’s even better is that i’m pretty sure 2 dudes have crushes on me that i don’t reciprocate so my life is just Fun /s right now.

well, that’s good!

you and the rest of the system agrees that it’d probably not be worth it.

also coming from someone who has way too many aro/ace friends, people having crushes on you will happen. And you don’t have to feel comfortable with it, it’s okay <3

I think even if you think “man my life is not fun” you’re in a better place now because you’ve talked it out.

and that’s good! Communication is key! (especially with your system)

I wouldn’t worry about people crushing on you unless they start stalking you or being creepy, if they aren’t it’s just benign.

don’t worry about it, <3

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so i kinda sorta not really have a crush on a singlet dude who doesn’t know that 1) i’m queer and 2) i’m the host of a system. plus he’s two years older than the body. PLUS we’re 99.9% sure he only sees us a friend. irl people keep asking us if we romantically like anyone and want us to date and i fear that i’m giving into peer pressure. i’m so confused.

hum, you’re allowed to have crushes and not purse them if you don’t want to.

crushes are a normal part of life, and feeling romantic feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate is normal.

if you want to go and try to ask this guy out, maybe you should just to see if they would reciprocate it.

if they don’t? you still wanted to be friends the whole time anyway.

if you feel them knowing your queer could be unsafe you probably shouldn’t tell them.

you’re allowed to make gogglely eyes and think about people romantically but never actually date them or anything, that’s normal!

love and affection and attraction is strange, it can be purely platonic, romantic, aesthetic, or sexual.

if you don’t want to ask them out don’t! If you want to try? Give it a go! It’s your life your in control of it! (I mean sometimes? you being a system and all that)

maybe talk with the rest of the system, and see how you feel.

Your feelings are valid and I hope you figure it out!

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I want to bite people in a vampire way but Scarecrow Fangs has a whole disclaimer to tell people to not bite others with the fangs. Any good fangs for biting??

interesting question!

I'd choose something soft plastic, because you could bite and it wouldn't hurt as bad as hard plastic.

because hard plastics cuts really easy because it's sharp.

(tho please only play bite people don't go taking chunks out of their skin. or drawing blood without the consent of the other party.)

theres this stuff which you can mold onto your teeth and it makes fangs, and you can take them on and off.

theres also like these ones which just like pop on, they are like dentures, and theres a couple more types.

I'm not super knowledgable, but I'd say the denture putty stuff? idk what it's called, you can stick it on your teeth and mold it into the shape you want then take them off.

or I'd browse cosplay forums and ask! they'd know more than me, I'll keep an eye out for anything that fits for you tho.

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I've seen this before, but it's been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn't need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

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I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

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That bad advice blog!!!

anyone from any background or problem is allowed here!

(be mindful if it's related to your sex-life and or sex we cannot help we have minus 200 experience in that field as also a vast majority of religions and beliefs. we are not an infinite chasm of knowledge we are a bunch of stupid people trying to help with awful awful advice.)

yes this means

therians

systems (any type)

queer people of all types (yes, bi-lesbians/bi-gays, xenogendered people, and mspec lesbians and fspec gays. you are welcome!)

aroaces

mentally ill people

disabled people

neurodivergent people

vegans

carnists

atheists

theists

and more!

below are people who we would love if they didn't interact!

unless they are seeking advice to turn their lives around then?? okay! just be kind and courteous I will report you into the shadow realm if you are not!!!

DNI

Nazi's, neonazi's, transnazi's, xenonazi's/antisemtites

terf's/radfems

radqueers/transID people (fuck off)

saneists (the people who discriminate against the mentally ill)

ableists

transphobes/homophobes

nonbinary exclusionaries

anti-xenogender

normal DNI people (racists and such)

and more to be added

this is a blog to give advice! if it takes us a good 10+ days to get back whoops sorry!

DISCLAIMER!

we are not registered anythings, we are horrible at advice take it with a huge grain of salt and I mean a spoon full!

if you think we are using wrong information feel free to correct us! we are trash at some things

we will act emotionally and also stoically it depends on who's answering

RULES FOR ASKS!

always add trigger warnings for your topics (eg, tw sa, tw animal death, tw death, tw transphobia, ect.) (just if it's incredibly dark, if it isn't you don't have to worry!)

try not to use slurs (it's okay to use them to describe your experiences or what someone said that's fine! just don't use slurs you can't reclaim.)

more to be added.