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By Donghwan Kim · Evan, done in Manhattan. http://ttoo.co/p/151012

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By Ungrey, done in Seoul. http://ttoo.co/p/189998

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[the-coat-is-always-on]

Why is my life not as great as ______?

I was not quite sure where this was gonna go, so bear with me, please.

Why is my life not as great as ______?

I am sure everybody has asked themselves this very question in one form or another.

This envy, desire, lust, wish, call it what you want, has crept up on us in moments of weakness or low self-esteem, but also in moments of seeming accomplishment, where we found ourselves falling short in comparison to the accomplishments of another person.

It is quite a toxic feeling, isn't it? I would even say it is ugly.

Not only does it make you feel bad about what you are, what you have or have not accomplished, but it also causes you to feel even worse about being envious in the first place! It is what Mark Manson so eloquently referred to as the "Feedback Loop of Hell".  It's from his book "The subtle art of not giving a F", and if you have not already read it then go get yourself a copy. The knowledge this book delivers about caring about the right things in life is like 101 of being a happy and decent human being.

Anyway...

This write up is by no means me telling people who they ought to feel or what to do about their feelings. Moreover, I could have spared myself the quite possible public humiliation of looking like a pretentious, know-it-all-listen-to-my-advice female equivalent of a douche. I could have simply abused my diary pages with the crazy cocktail of thoughts that jump around in my head.

Well...I did not.

The reason why you may or may not be reading, skipping over or cringing at this page is that I believe that the internet can be a great place. A place where people can allow themselves to be a bit more personal and, instead of being met with hate and "yo mama jokes", can receive solid advice and even comfort.

So here is my take on what I believe is a phenomenon of the times we live in.

Theodor Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy". And while you have probably read this quote underneath every white girl's selfie, it is important to remind yourself of its bearing or impact on your life.

I am also not talking about the good kind of comparison here. The one where you decide that you can, in fact, do better, be better and strive towards that with healthy role models in mind, yada-yada-yada.

I am talking about the comparison that models the unhealthy chasing of multiple unattainable realities that may or may not be artificially constructed. WHUAT?

The realities that make you go: I want her/his body, tan, hair, clothes, car, house, job, travel funds, babies, pets and the list goes on.

We see it on our social media feeds, on TV, but also in real life. This type of comparing puts our own world in the shade, and most importantly, causes us to take our life for granted.

It is the unattainable standard.

Why is it unattainable? Because with the attitude of constant comparison you will find yourself chasing the next high. Once you tell yourself that you measure up to whomever you tried to compare yourself to, another bimbo shows up and makes a living off of yoga poses on Instagram. You get the point. There is always going to be someone who is better at something that you are, prettier, more successful or skilled. You can’t be good at everything. And that is ok.

What is not ok, is being blind to that fact. If you try to be great at everything at the same time, you will end up mediocre at everything.

I have been and sometimes still am, one of those people who chronically compare themselves to strangers and honestly, it can get pretty damn depressing the more you go down that rabbit hole (the rabbit hole of the insta-feed, if you know what I mean).

Having reached the ripe age of 25, I came to the conclusion that this mindset is not going to get me very far in life, that by defining my limitations based on other peoples’ success won’t get me past my parent’s couch.

So, I decided to practice just the right amount of mindfulness to make me immune against this whole pretentious bullshit that I see marketed to me. Since let’s be real, a lot of what you see is about selling a dream.

Once I got better at spotting that, I became aware how shallow I was to believe that dropping out of school or quitting my job in order to move to Bali and live my life out in a bikini would solve my problems or make me better about myself. I realized that there are s people in this world, who do not even have an internet connection or any of those fancy electronics, causing them to see those oversaturated lives and compare in the first place.

Those people are happy by simply having reliable and clean water to drink or being able to learn English in order to leave their poor village and support their family.

Do not worry, I will not get more dramatic than this, but you get my point, right?

Thus, I compiled a wee “List of Mindfulness” that I utilize once in a while to get me on the right track. You may consider this list to be whimsical or even pretentious. Frankly, I am not here to receive some form of praise nor do I aim to upset anyone. If anything, I would like to have a discussion, an exchange of ideas. Lastly, and most importantly, I think, if just one person was able to take something positive out of this, I am content.

Here we go.

1.    Hug yourself. This is the body you entered this world in and it is the body that will leave it in.

2. Find at least one thing that you love about yourself, physically or personality wise. Make it pop.

3. Count all the people in your life who care as much about you as you care about them.

4. “Unfollow” all the things that make you dreamer instead of a doer.

5.    Be honest. Write down your weaknesses. Then look at them and think about who told you that they are weaknesses.

6.    Find at least one thing you are good at. (to all of you who say that they are not good at anything, you are wrong. Often, what you are good at can be as obvious as good at singing or as abstract as having a crazy imagination. A strength once, established, can grow and take you to places you could have never imagined).

7.    Look at the other side of the coin. (sometimes in order to reframe our way of thinking, we need to look at the lives and the not so glamorous experiences of the less fortunate).

8.    Ask yourself the Miracle question (if you woke up tomorrow, and all of your problems and obstacles were gone, in what situation would you find yourself in?).

Wow, this felt good. Chances are, nobody will ever read this, but I sure feel good about putting my thoughts into words.

In case you have made it this far. Thank you for your attention. You are awesome.

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley By David Bellemere For The Edit By Net-A-Porter 30th April 2015

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Kobayashi Kiyochika.

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[news story]

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28 Optical Illusion Paintings by Rob Gonsalves

culturenlifestyle:

Rob Gonsalves’ work is known for its magical realism and surrealist nature. He turns the ordinary into a psychedelic occurrence. Recognized as the most famous surrealist painter living in North America, Gonsalves’ main goal is to consciously tap into the human psyche and explore our desire for the unimaginable and extraordinary. 

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Antonia ♥

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You do look cute during exam times

oh, thank you :)

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Bianca Balti