themonologuearchive

[themonologuearchive]

Female comedic monologue

this blog is essentially dead because monologuing plays like i do is a long tedious process and i’m just way too tired and busy focusing on other things to do it and i’m literally just logging back into grab someone’s url from my following list and i haven’t slept in over 24 hours but i wanted to say that this is literally the exact opposite of how you should ask someone for help and even if i was actually still using this blog and updating it this request would be blocked and mocked so fast you couldn’t even see it happening.

[themonologuearchive]

sorry i’ve been so out of commission lately it’s been a wild/rough few months. i promise i’ll get back to posting soon

[themonologuearchive]

Hi! I'm planning on auditioning for Pilar from Legally Blonde, do you have any good monologues?

Bunny - In-Laws, Outlaws, and Other People (That Should Be Shot) - Steve Franco

Try these lists:

10 New Monologues from Rosary O’Neill

10 New Monologues from Jonathan Dorf

10 New Monologues from Barbara Lhota

10 One-Minute Comedic Female Monologues

[themonologuearchive]

Hello! I have a request that’s somehow both vague and specific, so I understand if you can’t come up with anything, but I do appreciate your help no matter what! I’m looking for a contemporary comedic monologue for a woman late teens-mid twenties. Ideally, the character is one who is naturalistic rather than goofy or over the top - something that can be played honestly, perhaps a bit awkwardly. Someone who is genuinely likeable. Any ideas? Thanks in advance!

Bunny - In-Laws, Outlaws, and Other People (That Should Be Shot), by Steven Franco

Try these lists:

10 One-Minute Comedic Female Monologues

10 Great Monologues from LGBTQ-Identifying Characters

10 Monologues from Latino, Latina, and Hispanic Characters

10 Monologues from Characters Who Are People of Color

10 Monologues About Romance

10 Monologues from the Scorned Lover

10 Monologues from Characters in Family Conflict

10 Monologues About Fatherhood and Motherhood

10 Monologues from Characters Fighting with Siblings

10 Comedic Monologues from Characters Suffering an Identity Crisis

10 New Monologues from Rosary O’Neill

10 New Monologues from Jonathan Dorf

10 New Monologues from Barbara Lhota

[themonologuearchive]

Act 05, Scene 01 - 01 - Benedick

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Goodbye, thanks

Character: Male

Fare you well, boy: you know my mind. I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which God be thanked, hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company: your brother the bastard is fled from Messina: you have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet: and, till then, peace be with him.

[themonologuearchive]

at Town Hall’s Broadway by the Year (2007-2017) | June 19, 2017

[themonologuearchive]

Act 03, Scene 01 - 01 - Beatrice

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Love, lies, eavesdropping

Character: Female

What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true? Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much? Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu! No glory lives behind the back of such. And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee, Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand: If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee To bind our loves up in a holy band; For others say thou dost deserve, and I Believe it better than reportingly.

[themonologuearchive]

hey fam. so i just finished finals week and i’m now in intense rehearsals for the tour i’m part of next semester. queue will run out tomorrow. i’ll refill it this coming weekend, along with answer all requests in my inbox. 

[themonologuearchive]

Act 02, Scene 01 - 02 - Beatrice

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Wedding, dance, plan

Character: Female

The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him there is measure in every thing and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

[themonologuearchive]

Act 03, Scene 02 - 02 - Don Pedro

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Fool, disguise

Character: Male

There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

[themonologuearchive]

Act 02, Scene 01 - 01 - Don Pedro

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Plans, matchmaking

Character: Male

Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing: but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.

[themonologuearchive]

Act 01, Scene 01 - Benedick - 01

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Mother, women, love

Character: Male

That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid.

[themonologuearchive]

Act 03, Scene 02 - 01 - Don Pedro

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Outspoken, love

Character: Male

Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks.

[themonologuearchive]

I just learned about Scenery Bags and I’m in LOVE. Stage manager Jen Kahn makes one-of-a-kind clutches from retired backdrops. Inside each bag is a tag that tells you what show it’s from. The pictured design, from a show called Desert Song, is sold out, but you can sign up on her site to be alerted to the next run!

A portion of proceeds from each bag is donated to TDF’s Stage Doors program, which gives middle and high school students with a meaningful introduction to live theatre by attending a Broadway or Off Broadway performance and participating in in-class workshops. 

[themonologuearchive]

Act 04, Scene 04 - 02 - Margaret

From: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare

Genre: Comedy

Topic: Love, advice

Character: Female

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think perchance that I think you are in love: nay, by'r lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list not to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love or that you will be in love or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never marry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted I know not, but methinks you look with your eyes as other women do.