theonewhocravesaffection

[theonewhocravesaffection]

Am I being left behind?

[theonewhocravesaffection]

[theonewhocravesaffection]

[theonewhocravesaffection]

OMG THIS.

[theonewhocravesaffection]

via weheartit

[theonewhocravesaffection]

Ratto di Proserpina, Gian Lorenzo Bernini

Galleria Borghese, Rome

[theonewhocravesaffection]

People don't mention that to heal you need to feel. How it changes how you operate. That healing is to get out of your former self in to a shell you're creating. It's almost obvious, until you're actually doing it.

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They also don't tell you how jarring it is to enter the past and not bring who you are now. I don't want to be her but I don't know how else to be here. This place was never mine. And I don't know if it will ever be

[theonewhocravesaffection]

Oops I'm flying in a bubble again

Oh no I don't know when to pop

It's kind of tight in here

I forgot to take a breath beforehand

My head hurts from my the pressure

Where am I again?

I don't think the grass is green anymore

[theonewhocravesaffection]

"I get a feeling sometimes, that I can't get close enough to you. I feel it most in the night time, even though that's when I'm closest to you. If I could be under your skin, closer than we've ever been. We'd be closer than we've ever been."

Closer - RM with Mahalia and Paul Blanco

[theonewhocravesaffection]

I want someone to kiss my neck & tell me how much they want me

[theonewhocravesaffection]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696

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UK Helplines:

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Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

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Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

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suicide hotlines;

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[theonewhocravesaffection]

im scared that one day no one really knows me. i want someone to say or think “hey I know you and I love you, and ur past and I want to help and see you become even better” i have been told that I never say much, when it feels like i say everything. I’m scared that I’m really am just nothing. I’m scared that no one knows my fears or obsessions. i want to open up but I don’t know how and what is there to spill?

[theonewhocravesaffection]

I finally felt it.

The taste of freedom.

The feeling of trust.

The feeling of relaxation.

Feeling comfortable at the end of the day.

Feeing happy with the people I wanted to know all these years.

But here we go again.

The lack of a voice.

The restrictions.

The anxiety of existing.

The stitches on my cords.

The newly polished steel bars.

The the uniform that hangs on my mannequin with it’s stiff strands of white cotton string.

And people wonder why I dearly want to be naked.

[theonewhocravesaffection]

here I lie in bed. needing comfort and protection from my mind. and yet I don’t allow myself the luxury of comfort from the person across the room. so here I lay in the dark crying silently to balance and confront myself so that I can sleep with the other on their phone trying to sway themself as well.

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I need a hug but I don’t let myself ask for one

I need someone to ground me when my mind lingers for too long

I need reassurance that things will be alright

I need someone to help me and yet I don’t have the strength to ask just yet

[theonewhocravesaffection]

One day you say I’m a problem, a hinderance, an annoying piece of shit, maybe even shoot me a couple glares. Then the next few hours or days you say you love me and get upset if I don’t reciprocate. Of course we have good times together, because your the only one who would be willing to take me out. I’m greatful for those moments, but i wish you were a bit more considerate or empathetic. You say it gave me thick skin. Or your just exsposing me to the real world. But you really just suffocated me 6ft under. And now I’m shaking because like I usually do, I messed up. No matter how small or large it was I’m scared now even though I know it will pass.

[theonewhocravesaffection]

One day you essentially tell me, “I’m cutting you off because my partner doesn’t like the things you say”. (my precious friend) I am confused. I have been ignored and pushed aside to make room for someone I don’t know, then cut off.

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I get that you are jumping into a new relationship but I don’t believe that one should cut another for something they aren’t aware about so suddenly. Then later be told that they didn’t want to.

To me that sounds confusing, and like a toxic relationship; but, I don’t want to rip away your current source of happy. I think that partners don’t get to decide who someone can be friends with or guilt trip them in to cutting them off but I don’t know the full situation, I only know my perspective.

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They say that I did nothing wrong but I’m not sure what to listen to anymore. So I go along with the promise I made to said partner that I made earlier to the partner and agree to the cutting of ties.

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After a month of attempting to not miss the precious person, they say sorry. Not for the sudden cut. But for being angry at the time? I was mad, you came back thinking I was mad for saying rude things when I am not. I made a mistake also, I cant deny that. I’m mad that it was seemingly easy for you to drop me. I’m mad that with the amount of effort I put into the relationship i get replaced so quick. Something I hoped would never happen. Yeah you did say that you didn’t want to cut me off a bit after but I was so confused. You say you want to then say you didn’t.

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After typing this far I don’t know what to believe. It’s like I’m talking to two different people. And now I’m blocked? We ended the last conversation saying that we will cut ties and was on a semi good note. Nothing is lining up and I need to talk to you. I don’t know how this goes because I feel like I don’t know you anymore.

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Then I ask if they wanted to say sorry only or did they want to reconnect, you say that you don’t want any connections anymore. I’m mad that you think our relationship isnt for protecting each other. According to you I’m not supposed to be able to judge ur partner in any way. I agree that I shouldn’t be rude, but I believe that a true friend would keep an eye out for you and see if they are worthy to be ur partner. I also thought that maybe you would be on my side or understood that I made jokes that come off wrong to others and that if I was told to tone down I would.

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It became a reality. At least by speaking face to face I got everything out of the way. I still don’t trust your partner and really miss you and our conversations with our mutual friends. I hope they aren’t abusive like I suspect, they were nice to me but I still don’t know them. I hope that you guys have a positive future whether or not you guys are together. I’m sad I lost someone I loved as a friend. But it’s for the better hopefully. Be amazing hunny, love you.

-theonewhocraves[ismissing]affection

[theonewhocravesaffection]

are you telling the truth. were we really not worth saving; you meant a lot to me...