thetransgenderwiki - Tumblr blog

[thetransgenderwiki]

Gender Norms & How They Affect Us

Gender Role (noun): The role or behavior learned or imposed upon a person as appropriate to their gender, determined by the prevailing cultural norms.

Gender norms, or gender roles, play a huge part in the history of most societies. They are ever-changing but tend to do so slowly. Already, the youth of today are challenging these norms more than ever - attempting to demolish the inequality between the sexes that plagues us all, such as pay gaps and male self-expression. They affect almost everything we do as humans - how a child is raised, what clothes we wear, whether or not we wear makeup, dye our hair, and so much more. 

However, with the evolution of the term "transtrender", we now face a disconnect of who 'can and can't' fight gender roles’. We face situations such as celebrating cisgender male makeup artists while simultaneously invalidating transgender men because they enjoy wearing makeup. We celebrate cisgender females wearing "masculine" clothes while invalidating transgender women who do not present as hyper-feminine.

As far as today’s media representation of transgender people goes, most of those who are in the spotlight tend to follow traditional gender roles. Their narrative often starts with, “I have known since I was little” - which is not at all uncommon! However, there is a lack of representation for transgender people who do not conform to traditional gender roles. This is true both for binary and non-binary transgender people. Even in the transgender community, there are those who do not support the validity of those who do not solely aim to "pass" as their gender identity.

Note: Passing is the act of being perceived as, by society, as the gender you identify as. I have made a much more detailed post about it - search #passing to find out more!

This causes widespread confusion on what it means to be transgender. Being trans does not and should not limit your gender or self-expression. In fact, gender identity, in general, has nothing to do with gender/self-expression! If a man wears a dress, it means one thing - he likes dresses! The social idea of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny can be so damaging for the transgender community - it forces us to make a choice that no one else has to make: transgender people are forced to choose between self-expression and "passing", and are invalidated for choosing self-expression. We are told by society that we have to prove our gender identity, that we may only be "ourselves" if we fall into traditional gender roles of our gender identity. Which is the exact thing that cisgender people worldwide are trying to fight!

Transgender men are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot bind or pack.

Like or wear "feminine" clothing.

Wear makeup.

Do not/cannot pass as "masculine".

Transgender women are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot tuck or wear padding.

Do not like or wear "feminine" clothing.

Do not wear makeup.

Do not shave.

Do not/cannot pass as "feminine".

What makes transgender people trans is their gender identity and sense of self. Fight the gender roles that are forcefully imposed on the transgender community.

Sources:

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/gender_role

https://youtu.be/KzZfY_Kn8l0

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_expression

https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/03/28/why-the-trans-community-needs-to-ban-the-word-transtrender-for-good

/http://www.teni.ie/attachments/6d5d22d4-801c-4f2d-b456-299291cc17de.PDF

[thetransgenderwiki]

[thetransgenderwiki]

Erasure/Invalidation of Non-Binary People

Just like binary trans people, non-binary (or enby) trans people have been around for a long time. Only recently has it even come into the attention of the general public. 

Unfortunately, the concept of being outside of the gender binary is one that is often criticized or brushed over - most people who do not identify as enby often do not truly understand. Enby people can face invalidation from all angles, even in the transgender community itself. It is important to point out that people who identify as enby are not "special snowflakes", and most certainly not "the reason people shit on the transgender community".

This kind of lack of understanding in today's society tends to lead to the erasure or invalidation of the enby community. Here are some ways in which this may occur:

Language often excludes enby people. So many words in languages are unnecessarily gendered - right down to objects being labelled as masculine or feminine by languages such as French. While this cannot be helped - after all, these languages were created so long ago - simply consider how it may feel. Some enby people don't want to be associated with gendered words, while some do. Maybe keep it in mind the next time you're generalising a group of people with a gendered term!

People rarely perceive their (a)genders accurately. Unlike many binary transgender people, it isn't common for an enby person to have an end goal in their transition. There is often no possible endpoint where enby people can hope to be safe when being read as their true (a)gender identity. This means enby people can be misgendered more often, and tend to face denial, invalidation, and violence for most of their lives.

Some people go as far as to tell enby people what (they think) their pronouns should be. This generally comes with the excuse that their pronouns are wrong, hard, ungrammatical, or silly. God forbid non-binary people decide not to use pronouns at all  - the lack of respect for their pronouns (or rather, lack of) only gets more apparent in this situation.

Bathrooms. If an establishment even has gender-neutral bathrooms, they’re often far out of the way. This is inconvenient, time-wasting, and isolating. And if enby people aren't perceived as the "right gender" for the bathroom they do use, they aren't safe - physically or emotionally.

Transgender healthcare is scarce enough as it is - and it only gets worse for non-binary trans folks. Many enby people never seek healthcare for fear of discrimination, since non-binary people don't fit into the image of "legitimately transgender". This is not to say that all enby people even want to physically transition, but it is a big problem for those who do.

There is little to no coverage of non-binary people in the media. This is also true with gender nonconforming (GNC) binary transgender people. How are enby people meant to be understood or get respect when so many people don't even know they exist? We cannot understand something we do not know about or are not educated about. Medica coverage for non-binary or GNC transgender people could significantly help to educate people on the topic, and spread more understanding!

Non-binary erasure has some pretty huge impacts. Non-binary trans people are more likely than a binary-identified trans person to:

Attempt suicide (43% non-binary versus 41% binary trans)

Face police harassment (31% non-binary versus 21% binary)

Earn less than $10,000/year (21% non-binary versus 14% binary trans)

Face assault, physically (32% non-binary versus 25% binary) or sexually (15% non-binary versus 9% binary), due to gender bias.

These numbers only get higher for non-binary people of colour (POC).

So, what can we do to change this? Spread. Accurate. Information. About. The. Enby. Community. Seriously, the best way to tackle this problem, right now, is education - much like with ALL transgender issues! Misinformation, as well as an inadequate amount of education on these topics, that is the biggest enemy we have to face.

Sources:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-not-to-say-to-nonbinary-people

https://medium.com/gender-2-0/what-unique-problems-do-non-binary-people-face-7bdbd1dbb395

[thetransgenderwiki]

This is from 2017 but the “divide-and-conquer” strategy outlined is still being used by anti-LGBTQ+ activists now.

Anti-LGBTQ+ activists don’t like big-tent, inclusive communities. They want us isolated so we’re easy targets. When we work together and create room in our communities for diverse experiences, it gives us more strength not just to defend against their attacks, but also to actively push back against their bigotry.

[thetransgenderwiki]

Stop choosing cis approval over your trans siblings.

[thetransgenderwiki]

Sexualization of the Transgender Community

** THIS POST WILL COVER TOPICS THAT ARE SEEN AS INAPPROPRIATE FOR THOSE UNDER 18. VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK **

It's kind of accepted that, on the internet, if something exists, there is probably sexual content for it. This is otherwise known as "Rule 34", and does not exclude transgender people. Much of this sexualization stems from the past use of the word "transsexual" rather than "transgender" to describe trans people.

However, pornographic content including transgender people, or sex work in the transgender community, it's not really discussed. How does it affect the transgender community as a whole? How does it change how the general public sees us? Most importantly, has it gone too far? I'm here to have a discussion about this, and I would seriously love to get some input from other people, both trans and cis people, in the notes!

In this post, I will be discussing:

The sexualization of the transgender community

Sex work in the transgender community

It is difficult to discuss the sexualization of the transgender community without first facing a wall of inherent disdain from A LOT of people - and for good reason! In today's modern world, over-sexualization of any group is extremely damaging to said group! It turns people into objects through the eyes of society, rather than living, breathing and independent human beings.

Sexual Content of Transgender People:

This all begins with our views of sexual content including transgender people. Is it okay? Or should we view it as inherently negative? The thing is, including ALL groups of people in sexual content, it normalizes these groups of people. Personally, I don't believe the sexualization of the transgender community is inherently negative - but it has gone too far. The sexualization of the transgender community, in today's world, is in a dark place. Being transgender is seen as a fetish to a lot of people. This leaves the community in a horrible spot - one where we are not accepted, but fetishized anyway, almost as a "taboo" fetish. We are seen as objects, not people.

Note: Chaser (noun) — someone who has a “fetish” for transgender bodies.

Those who fetishize transgender bodies are participating in a culture of transphobia that deems our bodies as important solely when they’re sexualized. This is rooted in a cultural assumption that the only reason someone would want to be with a trans person is because of a sexual fetish. THIS is how the sexualization of the transgender community has gone too far. When cisgender celebrities are “caught” with trans people, it is treated as a “scandal,” - the public eye immediately assumes it must be because they have a “thing” for trans bodies. In the aftermath of the Tyga “scandal,” Mia Isabella, the trans woman who he was allegedly with for three years, said: "It’s very sad that the idea of a man loving a trans person has to be considered a scandal when all people are equal ... Am I not an American with the right to love and live as I choose with whoever I choose? If a celebrated man loves a transgender woman or possibly did — that’s news? It shouldn’t be news, it should be normal for anyone and everyone to be allowed to love who they choose."

"Chasing" and fetishizing transgender people and their bodies reduces people and their identities to sexual fixations. It objectifies them, and that is where the damage is being done, rather than with the sexualization of transgender people in general.

However, it is important to consider how the complete absence of sexualization would affect the community as well. It would isolate us. The 'taboo' of sexual relationships would flip into another negative situation, and transgender people would be seen less as objects, and more like an alien subculture of the human species. The complete removal of sexualization implies an impossibility or abnormality of sexual relationships with transgender people - anyone reading this can probably guess how this would be damaging to the mental health of transgender people. Transgender people are not FETISHES, we are JUST PEOPLE. As people, we can be in (CONSENTUAL) sexual situations whenever we please, just as any other person can!

Sex Work in the Trans Community:

This moves us onto Sex Workers - specifically transgender sex workers. People who specialize in this area of work already come under a lot of scrutiny, but trans sex workers come under even more fire from the trans community itself. Your opinion on this generally stems from your understanding and opinion on the sexualization of transgender people in general. It is important to note that there are a considerable amount of transgender people that turn to the sex trade as a result of discrimination making other jobs difficult to obtain. Others simply enjoy this line of work - both situations are to be supported. Sex work is not shameful - but we aren't here to discuss this side of the argument.

Many people in the transgender community come to attack trans sex workers because it is thought that they feed into the over-sexualization of the transgender community. However, this view disregards those who are TRULY at fault. Chasers, fetishizers of the transgender community, those who dehumanize and refuse to accept us as people, THOSE are the people who add fuel to this fire.

A study done by Transgender Equality in the US in 2018 researched and found shocking levels of the added discrimination that transgender sex workers face.

An overwhelming majority (69.3%) of sex workers reported experiencing an adverse job outcome in the traditional workforce, such as being denied a job or promotion or being fired because of their gender identity or expression.

Transgender sex workers were more than twice as likely to live in extreme poverty (under $10,000/year)

Transgender sex workers reported high levels of interaction with the police (79.1%). They also indicated that they were somewhat uncomfortable (26.3%) or very uncomfortable (31.8%) seeking help from the police.

Of those who have appeared in court, transgender people engaged in the sex trade were also more likely to report biased treatment by judges and court staff (39.6% vs. 15.5% of non-sex workers in the trans community).

They also report mistreatment (64.1%), as well as physical (12.9%) and sexual (9.2%) assault at the hands of the police.

In seeing these figures, it's hard to believe that transgender sex workers are “actively trying to add to the sexualization of the transgender community” - they're not.

Note: The reason for many of these figures has a lot to do with the criminalization of sex work and prostitution in the US (and many other countries). Maybe do some research on this, and find where you stand! Education on the topic isn't hard to find, and can even be found in some of the sources at the end of this post!

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/my-trans-identity-is-not-a-fetish_b_9592986?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHv7eCubemhpi_auinHDnss5YBeNt5gEJNMtgHQukxvnVnatUTPziFHiPCJtlnxYjLoXVVhbwg3yB_NPHMTLiuO8NVgLpG9BkPahZzkgqZVl1v_JUUuRwwhAMTYlwsxt18vS_f8NNZVshDYiEXlGZMdK4-63o5dIXv-GonPoSgny

https://www.transequality.org/sites/default/files/Meaningful%20Work-Full%20Report_FINAL_3.pdf

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ev8ayz/trans-sex-workers-on-life-under-fosta-sesta

https://catholictrans.wordpress.com/2013/11/23/the-sexualization-of-transwomen/

[thetransgenderwiki]

Transtrenders

Transtrender (noun): NONEXISTENT

For the most part, I like to keep my own personal opinions away from this blog. This isn't always possible, but I do try my best to maintain a neutral standpoint, so that my blog may reach a lot of people and not cause upset. It can be upsetting to see a whole blog post that disagrees with you, filled with indirect hate comments aimed towards those who share your opinion, and I understand that. 

However, I feel this is a very important topic to share my opinion on - it is not one that I can properly research because it is considered to be a somewhat new “problem”.

First, rather than diving into opinions, I would like to highlight the effects that this term has on the transgender community as a whole:

The term "transtrender" destroys the idea that it is okay to question your gender identity - even as a teenager when this is most likely to happen. It insinuates that, unless you are a "100% approved 'real' trans" kid, you may never ask that people (even temporarily) refer to you with different pronouns and/or names as you attempt to find yourself.

The blow-up of this concept has led to the invalidation of the transgender community from all angles, by both the transgender community itself and by transphobes worldwide. In a way, it validates the transphobic argument that being transgender can be a fad in the first place.

This concept insinuates that others have the right to decide what gender you are, based only on their own interpretations of the construct of gender. Also, that they may then insist they know you better than you know yourself.

That last point may strike a chord with people -  it is the exact same idea that we have been fighting against throughout trans history, that anyone gets to decide who or what we identify as.

Now, back to the term itself. Urban dictionary defines a "transtrender" as: "A person who identifies as male or female but does not experience any gender dysphoria. It can also mean someone who identifies as male or female because they think it’s trendy/cool."

There are multiple problems, however with this definition. 

The primary problem: THERE IS A MASSIVE LACK OF EDUCATION ON TRANS ISSUES AND TRANS-RELATED DEFINITIONS. Feelings that you may identify as dysphoria, other's may identify as dysmorphia, low self-esteem, or anxiety. There is no fully accepted definition for what it is to feel dysphoria. On top of this, the difference (but equal validity) between social and physical dysphoria are rarely discussed!

Note: Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD): A distinct mental disorder in which a person is preoccupied with an imagined physical defect or a minor defect that others often cannot see/notice.

Other, very important problems:

It is not seen as trendy or cool to identify as transgender. People are abused for it, harassed and assaulted for it - some of us have DIED for it. That. Is. Not. Trendy.

Gender and gender roles are social constructs. I take great comfort in the construct of gender, but the gender roles/norms associated with them make me uncomfortable. This is the case for many, and leaves us with a choice: either conform to gender roles in order to “pass”, or express ourselves freely and face the consequences with it.

Gender presentation and gender identity are two completely different things that do not have to coincide. In fact, gender presentation changes meaning from person to person, depending on their view of gender roles.

YOUR GENDER IDENTITY IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. No two people experience dysphoria in the exact same way and/or with the exact same intensity. This is one of the many reasons why "defining" what it means to be transgender is so difficult - there is no one experience that defines it.

It is important for me to specify that this post is not made to attack anyone, in or outside of the transgender community. On the contrary, I want this to reach the people who disagree with me - I would genuinely like to hear why someone may disagree with this post! I would simply like to highlight in this post the absurdity of the idea that there is such thing as a "fake transgender person", or a "transtrender" when exploring one's identity is an important part of life. We have no right to decide who is or is not trans for anyone other than ourselves. In closing, the term "transtrender" may have been created with good intentions. Now, though, it is a misleading concept that only does damage to the transgender community and to those who are exploring, or who are now too afraid to explore, their own gender identity.

Sources:

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-body-dysmorphic-disorder

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_expression

https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/03/28/why-the-trans-community-needs-to-ban-the-word-transtrender-for-good/?blogsub=confirming#blog_subscription-11

[thetransgenderwiki]

Being Trans Online

While the internet, unlike the outdoors, provides little to no opportunity for direct physical harm to us, it is still just as dangerous. There are fewer consequences for what is said online, and this can is potentially very damaging for minorities such as transgender people - ESPECIALLY trans youth. Just as for all youth, the internet has brought as many opportunities for harm as it has for growth.

The dangers that transgender people face online:

Misinformation - There are a lot of people out there spreading information, both intentionally and unintentionally. This can be severely damaging to the transgender community.

Cyberbullying - The abuse, sadly, does not stop in the streets. People can say some really nasty things online, and being bullied is hard for EVERYONE, no matter your identity.

Manipulation - There are many people, in and out of the trans community, that try to use your/their identity/situation as a mask or a means to get people to do what they want. For trans youth especially, this could lead to compromising situations that could traumatize them in ways others can only begin to understand.

Exposure to sensitive/inappropriate topics in the case of trans youth - The internet is far from a sensitive platform of information or communication. The last thing we want is for youth as young as 10 being exposed to information about self-harm, or to stories or visuals of other disturbing content. This information and those visuals are out there, and in ABUNDANCE.

Exposure to dangerous individuals - Whether it is to a pedophile, a murderer, a manipulator, a kidnapper, or any other dangerous individuals, we don't truly know anyone online. This puts all people, not just transgender people, at risk.

Things we can do to minimize the risks for ourselves and for others:

Always research before spreading something - Make sure the information you're spreading has something to back it - whether it's a different source or making sure the original source is not outdated. In the case of information surrounding the transgender community, sometimes the cause of an argument is simply an opinionated person who has got the facts wrong. It can just be as simple as providing the correct information.

Be careful 'where' you are online - There are some platforms online that are full of hate - Tumblr itself has its fair share of unpleasant individuals. It is a case of avoiding these threads, or even the worst of these platforms, completely, and warning others about them! Reading harmful threads, or worse, replying to them can put you under a lot of fire that you don't need or deserve to deal with. Being trans is hard enough without reading hundreds of thousands of threads about what people say they "would to you" if they ever met you, simply because you're trans.

Be careful who you speak to online - There's nothing wrong with making friends online - it's one of the joys of the internet. But it's important to know who to put your trust into, and to know where you're drawing the line with them. If you're getting dodgy vibes, don't ignore them! You don't "owe" anyone online anything, and if you're putting your all into "friendships" online with very little back, don't be afraid to drop out of this, or even seek help. There are some horrible people online, so please, keep your guard up. This goes for anyone.

Know your triggers - If there are topics, threads, people or content that endangers you by being in contact it, try your best to filter it out! Many platforms have filters you can put in place to keep certain content away from you - don't be afraid to use them. Don't hesitate to block people who scare you, and DO NOT hesitate to know when you have to report things to the police if they get out of hand!

NEVER READ THE COMMENTS ON HATEFUL/'CONTROVERSIAL' POSTS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY PERSONALLY  AFFECT YOU - Just don't. It's not worth it, and it will probably upset you more than you expect.

I know this topic isn't exactly "trans exclusive". However, it is very important. There are too many threads of transphobia across more platforms than one can count online. Transgender people already face higher mental health risks than the average person, and something as simple as blocking certain tags, or knowing when to stop interacting. might just save a life - and that life might just be yours.

What to do when:

You're being harassed online:

https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjZ2-uxoc7iAhVvte0KHfxoChgYABAAGgJkZw&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESEeD2C74aVHB0VR9uBSo-VeH_&sig=AOD64_28gaw4636PLLsnwf2KbJFtXpdzYA&q=&ved=2ahUKEwi8reOxoc7iAhXBTRUIHfOGCgEQ0Qx6BAgLEAE&adurl=

https://www.seventeen.com/life/a14724/dealing-with-cyberbullying/

http://endcyberbullying.net/what-to-do-if-youre-a-victim/

Many of these recommend talking to an adult, as they are aimed towards a younger audience. In the case of older people seeking help, it could be just as helpful to talk to a counselor or a therapist if you have one, or even to START counseling or therapy if needed!

You're being threatened online:

https://www.lifewire.com/what-to-do-if-youve-been-threatened-online-2487763

http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Find-legal-information/Personal-rights-and-safety/Safety/Threats-abuse-and-harassment

You're being stalked online:

https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwilodnEo87iAhUKsO0KHR7WCPEYABAAGgJkZw&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESEeD2901YONTQTVFcff3vns71&sig=AOD64_105u_rUzAiz0s357k7KcQ9dpvMSg&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjb_dHEo87iAhVxs3EKHeMhCrkQ0Qx6BAgKEAE&adurl=

https://www.stalkingriskprofile.com/victim-support/cyberstalking

You want to avoid certain content:

https://famisafe.wondershare.com/internet-filter/internet-filter-reviews.html

[thetransgenderwiki]

DON'T ASK THAT!!! TRANS* EDITION

It occurred to me that I've gone so much into the "technical" side of being transgender in these posts. There is so much out there to talk about, and a lot of research to be found about being trans - what it means to be trans, the dangers we face.

This post, however, is more aimed towards cisgender people who may find this blog.

Hi! Welcome, and thank you for making an effort to educate yourself on transgender issues!! Spreading this information to EVERYONE is my goal, and I'm so happy to think that this blog might just reach outside of the community itself.

While I'm all about asking questions and educating yourself, this does NOT mean you can just walk up to any transgender person and ask them about whether they pack with socks or with a prosthetic penis!!! Just like with all human beings, there are just some things you don't ask someone unless you know them REALLY, REALLY WELL. So, I've decided to make a list of things you should NOT ask transgender people. Feel free to add anything you feel I have left out in the notes!

A general guide, of course, is to just ask yourself: Would I ask this question of a non-transgender person in a similar situation? If the answer is no, well, I think you get the gist.

"When did you decide to be / become trans?"

"What was your name before / So what's your 'real' name?"

ANY QUESTIONS SURROUNDING GENDER CONFIRMATION SURGERIES. PLEASE. DO. NOT. ASK.

"Which bathroom do you use?"

DEAR GOD PLEASE DON'T ASK ABOUT TRANS PEOPLES' SEXUAL ACTIVITIES

"Do you do drag? / Are you a transvestite?"

"How did your parents react?" (If you don't really know the person, just don't ask.)

"Are you sure you aren't just a tomboy / gay?" OR "Wouldn't it have just been easier to be gay?"

"Can I see a picture of you before?"

"Can I feel your boobs / penis?" For real???? REALLY???? DON'T ASK THIS TO ANYONE???

"Do you think you'll ever go back?"

Sources (ft. reactions):

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02rx9mm

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/news/a40328/things-never-say-trans-person/

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/whats-ok-not-ok-ask-trans-person/

[thetransgenderwiki]

This just in!

Cis women and trans women are the same gender.

[thetransgenderwiki]

Being Trans in Public

Note: “Being Trans” is a series of posts I hope to continue. To see the others, search #being transgender

No one should have to feel afraid to step out the door being themselves. Unfortunately, for many, if not MOST trans people, this is simply our harsh reality. 

Transgender crime rates are, once again on the rise in the US (2018 holding the highest number of reported transgender homicides since 2013). Ireland has one of the highest rates of hate crimes against transgender people and those of African descent in Europe (as shown by a study done in 2017) Even more unfortunate, is that this fear is far from irrational. Most out transgender people, by the age of 18, will have faced at least one uncomfortable situation in public because of their gender identity or presentation. These can vary from mildly uncomfortable situations, to terrifying, traumatizing, and life threatening ones. 

Here are a few examples, as provided by a joint study in 2013 by TENI and ILGA Europe:

**TW/CW: MENTIONS OF R*PE AND USE OF TRANSPHOBIC SLURS**

“I was walking with 2 friends when a man started asking if I was a guy or a girl. When I didn’t answer and walked on he started shouting louder threatening to hit me. He then decided I was a girl and started singing a song about how he was going to rape me. He followed us down the road singing this song till he got bored of us not replying.” – 22 year old bisexual trans man.

“Was walking down the street when I heard loudly behind me, ‘ya fuckin’ tranny queer’. Ignored it and walked on, held my head high. ‘Tranny queer!’ This continued for a good bit before eventually, ‘watch your back next time I see you’. ” – 18 year old bisexual trans woman.

Problems Faced by Transgender People in Public:

Verbal Abuse

Physical/Sexual Abuse

Threats of violence, among other serious and terrifying crimes

Questioning of gender and/or genitalia by strangers

Fear of public restrooms (this has been explained in detail in my post on Being Trans in School)

Accidental and/or purposeful misgendering, resulting in heightened dysphoria/anxiety.

This list goes on.

There are, of course, measures that many transgender people tend to take that significantly boosts their chances of staying, for the most part, physically unharmed.

What You Can Do To Stay Safe:

Knowing/Having at least one method of self-defence. No matter WHO you are, this is ALWAYS a good idea, and could save your life on more than one occasion.

Attending regular counselling/therapy sessions. Mental health in the transgender community is a MASSIVE issue (I discuss this more in my Being Trans in School post). Whether or not something has already happened, or you're afraid something will, I would recommend regular counselling sessions to each and every one of you, if you are in a position where you have access to them. Having someone to talk to, about anything and everything, could just save your life.

PRACTICING SELF CONTROL!!!  As much as I hate to say it, not reacting to people's comments (despite how much these people may deserve a smack) could save your life as well. This takes a lot of self control - more for some than for others.

TRANSGENDER FRIENDLY HELPLINES:

Ireland:

LGBT Dublin/Galway/Kilkenny: 1890 929 539

Aware (Depression & Bipolar Disorder): 1800 804 848

Pieta House (Suicide & Self Harm): 1800 247 247

UK:

National Trans 24h Helpline: 0844 358 3204 / 0752 752 4034

SANEline (Mental Health): 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day)

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428

USA:

The Trevor Project (Mental Health & Suicide): 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

GLBT National Helpline: General - 1-888-843-4564                                                                           Youth - 1-800-246-7743

Sources:

https://www.iccl.ie/news/ireland-high-hate-crime-no-laws-to-address/

http://gallery.mailchimp.com/20394040945a32c736eefb556/files/072a1ce2-3087-42b1-87f8-d42e5631b0b0.pdf

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/09/26/2018-deadliest-year-transgender-deaths-violence/1378001002/

[thetransgenderwiki]

help a boy buy a packer!

hey folks! so i know that i haven’t been all that active on this account recently and a lot of that is because i’ve been experiencing a fuckton of dysphoria that’s been preventing me from functioning particularly well. i think a lot of this is coming from the whole “lack-of-penis” issue, and as everyone could probably tell by the title of this post, i think a packer would help a lot. however, i don’t really have the funds to buy one myself, and was wondering if you folks would be willing to contribute to my money pool.

i’ve gotten a lot of support for this blog, and y’all seem to like the content i post, so if anyone would be willing to/could afford to help me out in this way i’d appreciate it so much. i’m not really sure what i could give people in return but if anyone has any (reasonable and appropriate) things that they want from me just dm me and i can maybe send you a cute doodle or something?

this is my paypal link: https://www.paypal.me/smswitzer

thank you all so much, anything at all helps!

[thetransgenderwiki]

Legal Transition in the USA

Note: I have also posted information on legal transition in Ireland and the US. To find it, search #legal transition - you will find all three legal transition posts!

As in Ireland and the UK, there are two ways in which a person legally transitions in the US:

Legal name change

Changing your gender marker on legal documents

Legal name change can be done from any age with parental permission, and both can be done from 18 without it.

It's worthwhile to note that companies such as LegalZoom offer packages that streamline the name change process, giving you the paperwork you need to fill out for your state. The cost for this starts at about $139 ( https://www.legalzoom.com/personal/marriage-and-divorce/name-change-overview.html )

In most states, you have to pay a fee (around $150 to $200) to file your name change petition in court. It also costs a small amount of money to get forms notarized.

Not all states require that you file your name change in court, but some do. Realistically, you might still need a court order to show as proof of your name change to banks, the SSA, or the DMV because these organizations are wary of identity theft. Some states also require that you advertise your new name by publishing it in a newspaper.

Keep in mind that, unlike in Ireland and the UK, since laws change from state to state, I can only provide links to sites that can guide you fully through the processes of changing your name and gender marker. You can also visit your state's government website to get clear instructions for your area!

For both your change of name and change of gender marker processes, Transgender Equality provide guides for ALL states, and in the case of changing your gender marker, specific instructions on updating your legal documentation These guides can be found here: https://transequality.org/documents They can also provide how friendly each state tends to be about your changed gender marker.

THE FOLLOWING STATES REQUIRE PROOF OF SURGERY, COURT ORDER OR AMENDED BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO CHANGE YOUR GENDER MARKER ON SOME LEGAL DOCUMENTATION: Alabama, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas

Sources:

- http://mentalfloss.com/article/78427/7-things-know-legally-changing-your-name

[thetransgenderwiki]

Legal Transition in the UK

Note: I have also posted information on legal transition in Ireland and the US. To find it, search #legal transition - you will find all three legal transition posts!

As in Ireland, there are two ways in which a person legally transitions in the UK: - Legal name change - Changing your gender marker on legal documents

Legal name change: This can be done at any time with parental permission, or independently at 16/18+ depending on whether you are making an unenrolled deed poll, an enrolled one, or a statutory declaration.

Statutory Declaration: Statutory declaration is the simplest and most common and it only costs around £5 to have it witnessed by a solicitor. The declaration is basically a document that states quite simply that you are no longer using your previous names and now intend to use your new name. It needs to have a specific format in order to be legally binding.

Deed Poll: For an unenrolled deed poll, you may change your name yourself once you reach 16. ‘Enrolling’ a deed poll means that you’re putting your new name on public record. You can only do this if you’re 18 or over. You must apply to the Royal Courts of Justice to get an ‘enrolled’ deed poll using the deed poll process. It costs £36.

Changing your gender marker on legal documents:

Generally, the following are required in order to apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate:

You’re 18+.

You’ve been diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

You’ve lived in your acquired gender for at least 2 years.

You intend to live in your acquired gender for the rest of your life.

There is, however, an alternative route. For that, this is required:

You’re 18+.

You’ve been diagnosed with gender dysphoria or have had a form of gender confirmation surgery.

You live in England, Wales or Scotland most of the time.

You intend to live in your acquired gender for the rest of your life.

You’re in (or have been in) a protected marriage or protected civil partnership before 10 December 2014 (16 December 2014 for Scottish partnerships).

You’ve lived in your acquired gender for at least 6 years before 10 December 2014 (16 December 2014 for Scottish applicants).

Applying for a Gender Recognition Certificate:

Complete and sign the right statutory declaration for your circumstances;

Fill in the appropriate form ( https://www.gov.uk/apply-gender-recognition-certificate/how-to-apply has a link to these forms)

Gather the relevant evidence (as above)

Send your completed application form to the GRP.

This costs £140

Sources:

- https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/assets/media/17-15-02-A-Guide-For-Young-People.pdf

- https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

- https://www.gov.uk/apply-gender-recognition-certificate

- https://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre/changing-your-legal-gender-in-the-uk

[thetransgenderwiki]

Legal Transition in Ireland

Note: I will be doing two further legal transition posts - one for the UK, and one for the USA. If there are requests to do more of them for other countries, I will do so!

There are two major legal steps that almost every transgender person takes in their lifetime, regardless of whether or not they physically transition:

- Legal name change

- Changing their gender marker on their legal documents.

In Ireland, both of these things are possible from 16 with parental support, and from 18 without it.

Legal name change

The cheapest way to go about changing your name legally in Ireland is by deed poll, and to do it yourself. This costs about €50 in total. You will need:

Your birth Certificate

Your PPS number

A form of official ID - like your passport or age card

Official Deed Poll paper

Transgender Equality Network Ireland (TENI) provide a step by step guide for doing this, which you can find here:

http://belongto.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/233_deed_poll_how_to.pdf

They also offer support for transgender people and their families, as well as peer groups to help you every step of the way!

Changing Your Gender Marker on Legal Documents:

This, unlike changing your name, does not cost any money.

You will need:

Your PPS number

A completed GRC1 form ( http://www.welfare.ie/en/pdf/GRC1.pdf )

Your birth certificate

If you've changed your name by Deed Poll, you will need the document proving so.

If you wish to have a name other than the one on your birth certificate shown on on your Gender Recognition Certificate, but you have not changed your name by Deed Poll, you will need evidence of "use and repute" over two years (documentary evidence from two different sources such as your passport, driver's licence, college identification card, pay slip, utility bills, bank statements or official correspondence from a public or private sector organisation which show at least two year's usage of that name).

How to apply:

Complete the GRC1 application form  (Link listed above).

Sign the declaration at part 2 of the form and have it witnessed by one of the following: Peace Commissioner, Notary Public, Commissioner for Oaths or Solicitor.

Attach the required documents listed above.

Post the form and documents to the address below:

Client Identity Services Department of Social Protection Shannon Lodge Carrick-on-Shannon Co. Leitrim N41 KD81

Sources:

- http://www.teni.ie/page.aspx?contentid=1417

- http://belongto.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/233_deed_poll_how_to.pdf

[thetransgenderwiki]

This is very important!!!

[thetransgenderwiki]

Transitioning

Transition (Noun/verb): The process through which Trans people achieve the appearance, gender expression and self-image they feel is right for them.

There are two main ways for transgender people to transition:

Social Transition:

This changes how people see you socially, and generally involves:

- Cutting or growing your hair - Binding and packing/tucking and padding - Coming out to friends/family (only if it is safe to do so) - Legally changing your name and legal documents (I will provide more details on this in a later post) - Changing your gender expression through your clothes or makeup (if desired)

Physical transition: (I will provide more details on this in a later post)

This changes your body, rather than just the appearance of it. It involves:

- "Gender therapy" is generally required for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. In many places, this is required before one man physically transition. - Hormone treatment - depending on how you wish to present, this will be periodical doses of Testosterone or Estrogen - Gender Confirmation surgeries - often referred to as "top surgery" - for the construction or deconstruction of breasts - and "bottom surgery", for the construction or deconstruction of a penis

The aim of transitioning is to feel comfortable in yourself - what you look like, and how you appear in society. Some transgender people do not feel the need to physically transition, or only wish to go on hormone treatment. Others may want transition "fully". Your transition means YOUR decision, and you have your whole life to do it!

Sources:

- http://www.belongto.org/youngpeople/advice/transgender-info/transitioning/ - http://belongto.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/FTM-A-2-Minute-Guide-to-Transition.pdf