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[tryniak]

Use the manure

I’m not a person who believes the platitude that everything happens for a reason, but I do believe we can create meaning out of almost anything that happens, lessening the blow of whatever shitty thing befell us. If manure can grow flowers, I’m going to use it to grow flowers damnit. Or at least try to. Back in October, I found out that my job was ending. Our funding was expiring and was not…

[tryniak]

A balancing act

They push and poke And I feel myself balancing on fingertips that aren’t mine I am weightless But breathless Like I might cease …or scream ….or laugh panic Familiar panic Breathe breath Into And out, too

[tryniak]

the strength to gamble

A few weeks ago, I started learning Tai Chi. Living near Sunset Park in Brooklyn, which has a large population of Chinese immigrants (and even its own Chinatown), I’ve always been intrigued when I see large groups practicing this slow, meditative martial art. In unison, their bodies twist and turn and their arms flow with purpose, pulling energy deep from within to build power and strength. If…

[tryniak]

our untethered moments

We don’t always have to know where we’re going. But we are forced to choose what we want to do in each moment. Out of the options in front of us, in the here and now, what do we want? How can we tiptoe our way into the life we want to live? Somehow it has been 10 years since I started this blog. A whole ass decade. I didn’t know where I would end up. I didn’t know if it would be “worthwhile.”…

[tryniak]

the catalyst

We have been asked

no, told

to isolate

with nothing to do but

to confront ourselves.

  So used to turning outwards

because it is our nature

to Connect

to Create

to Build

to Move

  But we forget

it is also our nature

to Reflect

to Contemplate

to Grow

to Care

  The vagary of the situation

only realized in the

day after day

of it all.

  For the minutes

are much the same,

with all the love lines

and…

[tryniak]

Grayscale

Sometimes it grabs you, like an old friend

one of those friends who was never really very good to you

you kept each other company more out of happenstance

than of mutual affection

But, like an old friend, it’s hard to turn away

that comforting, or maybe just comfortable,

feeling

of familiar, or non-existent, expectations

You know it’s healthier to move on

you have other friends,

you know all of…

[tryniak]

Test-Taking Strategies

As a special education teacher, many of my students had a really difficult time remembering what they had learned. Students with learning disabilities often need more practice and more repetition when the information involves an area in which they struggle (e.g. reading for a student with dyslexia, or math for a student with dyscalculia). Unfortunately, I would oftentimes have students tell me…

[tryniak]

A week in Morro Bay

A week in Morro Bay

Back in March, when the NYC weather was still spitefully debating on whether to snow or rain, we jumped on a plane for a week long escape.

Otters, seals, dolphins, sunshine. Perfection.

I’ve done the whole “let’s drive up the California coast!” And while it was gorgeous and had its moments, I much preferred this trip where we spent the week in a single sleepy, tourist town on the coast.

We went…

[tryniak]

Ripples (the effects of naming him)

Ripples (the effects of naming him) #namethem #rapeculture #boyswillbeboys #believewomen #butterflyeffect

It feels weird to have waited so long.

To say it, in the first place.

And then, to have not said anything since.

I want to divulge everything and also nothing.

Mostly I just want to write about something else.

If you’re curious though…

it was worth it.

So fucking worth it.

It rippled

inward and outward…

…and sideways

It changed everything.

(and nothing.)

It opened up a new space

of feeling

(what…

[tryniak]

I'm done hiding your shame for you, Cole Gardner #namethem

I’m done hiding your shame for you, Cole Gardner #namethem

Thank you to Dr. Blasey Ford and all the women who have had the courage to stand up and name the men who attacked them, even when knowing that their renewed trauma will likely not stop these men from continuing to take what they don’t deserve. We have to keep talking. We have to NAME THEM. We have to insist on being heard. Not everyone will believe us. But our stories are not for them. Our…

[tryniak]

Moment(ous)

Our minutes are our days are our years

We make vision boards to remind ourselves

We watch TED Talks

We meditate

We fuck

We pray

We create

Trying to convince ourselves

That this moment

THIS one

Matters

[tryniak]

One corner at a time

One corner at a time

This city is everything they say it is. It will devour you and elevate you like nowhere else. Living here has been hard. Like really fucking hard. Even with all the things we had going for us, at times, it nearly killed us. People come here to make it, but mostly, this city will break you. Perhaps because you need to be broken to become strong enough to survive this horrible weather, the throngs…

[tryniak]

Transcranial Direct Current Stimulation: The Drug of the Future?

Scientists have been trying to harness the power of electricity to enhance the functioning of the human body for centuries. Perhaps the most notable achievement, in this regard, is the invention of defribillators that use an electric current to essentially reset a person’s heart when it is uncontrollably quivering in cardiac arrest. When not experiencing cardiac arrest, though, an electric…

[tryniak]

What I'm reading...

What I’m reading…

When your creative, optimistic, ambitious muse abandons you to take a nap, the best you can do is to go on an adventure or pick up a book (or both if you’re lucky). Maybe it’ll create a spark, but even if it doesn’t, at least you will have learned something or enjoyed something along the way. I’m sure I’ve been working too much and stressing too much (especially considering the racist edge upon…

[tryniak]

Between us

What is the blackest black? Or the whitest white?  If it presented itself, alone, without comparison, could you specify what it was or what it wasn’t? Is this one the purest form? (or the most legitimate? or the best, perhaps the worst?) If you looked into its eyes, to its depth, could you judge, straight-faced, exactly what it was or wasn’t? Or would you err on the side of caution – on the side…

[tryniak]

Where did all my hobbies go?

Where did all my hobbies go?

After our 10-year-old bulldog Domino died, I started looking around for hobbies or something to take my mind off the hamster wheel of stress and worrying about grad school and future job prospects. A dog forces you to be active and present in the moment – because said dog will drive you nuts if it is bored or if it doesn’t get enough exercise. Without a dog, I found myself doing much more…

[tryniak]

a brief history of hush-hush rape

a brief history of hush-hush rape

“Quickly and lightly he lifted her down to the gallery and slid the door closed. Her surprise pleased him enormously. Trembling, she called for help. ‘It will do you no good. I am always allowed my way. Just be quiet, if you will please.” -The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu (early 11th century, Japan) **This post is a continuation of my post “The bigger asshole: god or science?” You could read…