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tvxcue · 1 hour ago

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xichen is soooooooo fucking crazy bc like. literally has a near telepathic bond of understanding with his brother for most of their young lives partially by necessity bc who else is going to understand his brother well enough to look out for him, and how else is he ever going to understand his brother when his brother has never quite found the words to speak to his own heart??? and then bc of this as adults he is cursed to be THE ONLY PERSON. THE ONLY LIVING SOUL. who actually knows the depth of lwj’s grief, of what has been lost when people cheer to the yiling patriarch’s death. only for literally all of this to get flipped on its head bc wwx comes back, and suddenly his brother isn’t the open book he always has been to xichen but for the first time in their lives he IS to somebody else. and now xichen is the one so wracked by grief he’s entirely alone in that he’s made unfit for public view. xichen is the one who is left stranded, knowing that there is a hole inside himself he will never quite be able to fill.

the majority of his functions, the keystones of his identity, have been pulled out from under him: his ability to be his brother’s buffer, his ability to effectively lead his sect, his capacity to mediate and to lead that was so foundational to the person he has built himself to be!!!! all of this is lost. and lwj and lqr are there to support him, but xichen is no longer Needed during a time in his life where he is the most deeply and sincerely convinced that Everything Was His Fault. genuinely criminal that we don’t get to dive deeper into what that grief+guilt fueled crash out must’ve looked like tbh

#LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but also wangxian was just a bit out of step until guanyin temple when lxc's breaking point isn't the fundamental betrayal of the person #he trusted most in the world including with the life of the other person they were both in love with #his breaking point is wwx not realizing lwj was in love with him. kind of the moment of all time.#mdzs #lan xichen #q

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tvxcue · 9 hours ago

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never give up on the denial stage of grief. 95% of grievers give up right before it brings the person back

#dean always but specifically in red meat.#q

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tvxcue · 13 hours ago

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