umphuphi

[umphuphi]

“Your mind is yours, your heart is you”

My heart is a wild horse but my mind is the reigns… the rider, my spirit, deepest me, having the final say… The landscape- my Creator’s path for me.. The weather- the world’s attempts to steer me off course. So ride on, wild horse- be wild and free- reigned in where needed by intellectual understanding, with my spirit being choosing the way… Deep calls to deep as I charge towards True North…

[umphuphi]

from cartwheels to suicide (almost)

(another updated & reposted blog from many years ago- and as it is dealing with the deeper spiritual journey we all need to survive- buckle up, it’s a bit of a long one!) 18 years ago my life nearly ended. Hard to believe I nearly missed out entirely on the best part by far – the joy brought by my two gorgeous daughters!!  I have written about that dark time before, and I share this story often…

[umphuphi]

Give me (messy) emotional freedom any day…

(reposting from April 2023 with added links) Long before the current (immune system harming) vaccine regime became so profitable, the chemical-industrial complex (with its origins in World War 2 chemical warfare) pursued the popular and lucrative avenue of “mental health”. SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) or mood-altering drugs are now worth billions to the same manufacturer that…

[umphuphi]

The stories we tell ourselves

In today’s anti-intellectual, post-cultural world, where most don’t read history, philosophy or quality literature – much is made of information overload and the (highly questionable) benefits of AI- yet there is a debilitating lack of genuine understanding or deeper analysis … So I find myself making a point of sharing the rare honest and thoughtful conversations I encounter- like a long, deep…

[umphuphi]

Inertia

slow trickling away of all hopes, joys, dreams… what little of these remained anyway. I stand in a fog- a vague, hazy plain stretching out beyond plans, understanding… and I feel very little – I enjoy even less.

[umphuphi]

Net Zero: delusional dogma?

“It is the sign of an educated mind to be able to entertain an idea without agreeing with it” Some brief vids to challenge current mindsets. Energy trade offs, reality vs the marketing I used to believe (briefly) – and many points made became concerns for me along the way too, years ago- resulting in a feeling of discouragement and ultimately disconnection from what has become climate fascism……

[umphuphi]

not what i needed…

i needed a man who could lead without shouting me down … i needed a man who could love without boxing me in… i needed a man who could cry without leaving me out! i needed a man who could care and not mess me about! i needed a man… i needed a man… i needed a man… (sigh)

[umphuphi]

lost?

there was a time you said you wouldn’t cross that line… suddenly you find yourself walking in a fog- the lines are far behind you… they’ll never find you …

[umphuphi]

[umphuphi]

Grieving

I feast on beauty but it won’t sink in I bathe in music but it just won’t soothe I go through motions but I’m still sinking … I choose to feel each step of this dark way But drowning in wine at end of each day. And the ocean roars And the ocean roars he sat here listening To the ocean roar But I couldn’t find what to say or do I couldn’t find ways To Break through. And now he is dead bullet in…

[umphuphi]

Life seasons

So much… Bending Giving Making Doing So much… Hardening Hoarding Breaking Undoing So much… Faking Losing Missing Falling —– Join me on Telegram: https://t.me/JoyfulFutures/1964

[umphuphi]

Rain rain rain and tears flow rain pounding soil soaking dog buried curled, lying wrapped blankie gate greeting no more… Flow flow flow tears of grief tears of guilt as they sleep little hearts and I drown quietly oceans deep… Blow blow blow thoughts away like the leaves freeing trees like the men I don’t need soul blown clean once again be free…

[umphuphi]

Storm comin’

“When that storm comes..dont run for cover…dont run from the comin storm-coz you cant keep the storm from comin… When that rain falls..let it wash away,that fallin rain-the tears and the trouble.. When that love calls,open up the door..” – the Wailin Jennys (Photo: Simonstown, Cape Town)

[umphuphi]

Hold on…

“No winter shall abate the spring’s increase” -Donne

[umphuphi]

Breathe…

[umphuphi]

10 dead ends…

The lie of devt The empty promise of rights The impotence of law The shallowness of politics The distortion of corporate media The distraction of social media The ineffectiveness of debate The divisiveness of race The arrogant scientific paradigm The destructive medical paradigm

[umphuphi]

HOPE!!

“Rejoice, though you have considered the facts” (Wendell Berry)

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“’Hope’ is the thing with feathers – That perches in the soul – And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all – And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard – And sore must be the storm- That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm – I’ve heard it in the chillest land – And on the strangest Sea – Yet –…