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Im practicing naked people. Scaramouche was my muse today. Tomorrow its Kaeya’s turn!

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WIP genshin impact, nahida and scaramouche at some point after the main fight.

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I don’t feel betrayed. I feel abandoned and replaced. You have no idea what it feels like to be tossed aside so many times that you start to believe that you were never worth anything from the start. Maybe some god out there decided that I was undeserving of love.

Despite it all, I continue forward.

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I hate you…

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“…the entity inside his skin pinned the corners of his mouth into a wide grin. In this state, the quarterback could only watch, feeling the pain that bit at his cheeks.”

close-ups under the cut

@theplanetprince @invisobang

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Dannymay day 1: new style

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Name: Reach

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WIP

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WIP

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I often think of things, i try very hard to forget. I realize that im purposely drifting away from the one part of my family that actually made me feel safe. But i feel like they hate me now. And i dont feel safe with them anymore. The one person in my family who even bothered to listen, hates me. And i know they’ve told them. And they hate me too now. They haven’t shown me that they want me around after all this time. So, id rather disappear. But i know they would notice eventually that Im missing. So im drifting away. And even after realizing this, im not doing anything to stop it, because its not like they ever gave me a reason to stay. There’s no point in staying.

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“Search for the answers I knew all along, I lost myself. We all fall down.

Never the wiser of what I’ve become. Alone I stand, A broken man.”

-Breaking Benjamin, Without You

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“I guess I’ll have to face, That in this awful place,

I shouldn’t show a trace of doubt…

But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain,

That I would rather do without…

I’d rather be free, free, free………..”

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“He had initially thought that Jiang Cheng’s hatred towards him should have dissipated over the years. Unfortunately for him, Jiang Cheng’s resentment seemed to have intensified, fermented over the years like an aged wine.”

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And so I’ve cried and grieved, blaming myself for things i know i cant control. I’ve hurt myself out of anger, pain, confusion and stress. And I will continue to have nightmares that force me to relive memories i thought were long forgotten. But i move on. Even when i am overwhelmed, exhausted and ill, I manage to push forward. And now, I feel nothing anymore. My emotions reset, and my mind made anew from the mistakes I’ve made. And though I feel numb now, the resentment will continue to build.

Never towards them, but always towards myself.

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Im still not doing well. Even though I know it probably wasn’t on purpose, it still hurt me. The pain was real. Now, i know they will never ever want me in their life again. They made it very clear that I was not wanted around anymore. Besides, their family was more of a family to me than my own was. And i think they may not want me around either. I tried to solve the problem. I tried so hard to stay calm, and it failed again. And I’ve lost another whom was important to me. The pain tears apart my mental health everyday. Now, Im looking for ways to forget permanently.

Now, Im truly alone.

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I dont think I’d be able to take it if they tried to come back. It seems unreal. The ones who’ve left have never come back before. Why would they come back if it were my fault. Undeserving.

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