vampirotic

[vampirotic]

state of the world right now has me feeling like i’m going through zoochosis

[vampirotic]

[vampirotic]

wow this is too intimate to share with my close friends or family let me put this on my tumblr blog for hundreds of strangers to see

[vampirotic]

people forget you can just talk to anyone and anything you’d like. the birds, the trees, the ocean, your ancestors — i like to speak with death whenever i need to clear my mind. morbid, i know, but gods is he a great listener. you know, a lot of people might not know this but there’s no one who wants you to live life to the fullest like death does. i giggle at the irony. i suppose i would be the same if i had the job he does. you see so much wasted potential, i’m assuming it gets a bit frustrating to claim so many souls who were too afraid to live. i imagine death feels a lot like a genie. y’know? probably didn’t ask to have this job. maybe he’s “trapped”. so i guess that makes even more sense when you think of it that way. but i’m not sure. it’s probably a touchy subject…but i’ll try to ask him anyway.

[vampirotic]

ominous positivity is my secret to getting over my anxieties. new job? college stressing you out? just overall scared and overwhelmed because the future is unpredictable? guess what? you’re gonna be ok. you literally have no choice. you have. no. choice. so what if you’re scared of the unknown? did it ever occur to you that you’re also unknown to whatever it is that you’re facing? what’s that one quote? “until death, all defeat is psychological” ? exactly bitch. you cannot lose. it’s impossible. you have no choice but to be ok.

[vampirotic]

that was extremely ungrateful of me. so sorry queen it won’t happen again.

hey universe! what the actual fuck!

[vampirotic]

hey universe! what the actual fuck!

[vampirotic]

my birthday is getting closer and closer. my mind screams at me not to forget this moment. this sinking sensation in my stomach. idk what it is. i just have this feeling that it’s gonna take a few decades for me to understand. and that kind of breaks my heart.

[vampirotic]

having to swallow the words “but this IS me trying.” on a daily basis atp

[vampirotic]

if we can’t confuse the hell out of people because they can’t tell if we’re restraining the urge to slit each others throats or have the hottest nastiest sex known to man, then what’s the fucking point

[vampirotic]

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

[vampirotic]

a true oldest sibling canon event while growing up in an extremely religious household: constantly fearing the devil and ending up in hell. never feeling pure enough even though you’re just 5-7 years old. having panic attacks and nightmares about hell because you never feel like you’re worshipping god correctly. the fallen angel painting. growing up and realizing god is actually a raging narcissist and discovering you always secretly felt pity for satan, but you never could admit it in fear of burning for all eternity. you wanna fuck satan.

[vampirotic]

laying in bed at 9:40 AM with the window cracked open. the only sounds i have to keep me grounded are the sounds of a train passing by, mourning doves cooing, and the gentle snores from my dog sleeping beside me. i stare at the ceiling, wide eyed and dazed from the lack of sleep, robotically repeating “i don’t feel like myself lately. i must be changing. i cannot fear change. change is transformation. transformation brings success.” because if i don’t i’ll lose my mind trying to find other ways to explain this emptiness i feel. this lack of passion, this feeling that i am once again a stranger to my own body

[vampirotic]

holy shit

[vampirotic]

does anyone feel as if the universe is intentionally keeping them stagnant no matter how hard they try to get out of a situation? therefore leading to the constant feeling of never doing enough? that all your efforts go to waste no matter how good or patient you are? or is it just me

[vampirotic]

“i like you. you’re pretty chill” famous last words before they find out i am in fact not chill and am clinically insane

[vampirotic]

“match my freak” how about you match my poetic misery instead