viaticpancakes

[viaticpancakes]

I put an otter on my registry in your honor. I plan to buy it and gift it to them. That way, if you ever come back, they won't have to wonder why they're the only one you didn't give an otter.

I ache somewhere inside that everything we shared is gone.

[viaticpancakes]

Things that have changed since you left:

One of them doesn't need pull ups anymore at night

His dad is dying and has moved in with us

More miscarriages, more positive tests

The bigs will be going to a hybrid school in the fall

I miss you all the time.

They don't talk about you as much.

I hope that means their pain has healed.

[viaticpancakes]

[viaticpancakes]

I love this way of viewing grief because when I miss my sibling, I think about it like this. I miss you because I love you, and I never want to stop missing you because I'll be here, loving you, forever.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT LOVE Andrew Garfield about losing his mom on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

[viaticpancakes]

<3

by me, IG @catchinglizards

[viaticpancakes]

I memorized this one so quickly when it came out. I've had so much grief over the last year or so that I feel like I'm just standing and another wave knocks me down. The desperation of this song. The lengths you'll go to. The pain.

[viaticpancakes]

And it turns out I'll regret getting my daughter a formal diagnosis forever

[viaticpancakes]

Uhhhhhhhh that seems bad

[viaticpancakes]

"You're not saving the world, honeybunch! You're getting off on sniffing out a psycho!"

[viaticpancakes]

[viaticpancakes]

I know this is a tiktok and I know this is a big sibling but mine big sibling-ed me. I was the oldest and they were the youngest but fuck if they didn't make me brave. Everything scared me. They were never scared. They were like open face sandwiches, they told you everything right there and faced everything head on. I'm cosplaying brave. I'm limping around. I'm 50%. I'm only one lung. It's hard to breathe.

[viaticpancakes]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[viaticpancakes]

I miss my sibling and I feel like there's always a confused part of me inside my body just screaming like I've lost a limb and the rest of me is just going around and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and bathing and school and I'm screaming cause my limb is missing and no one can see it and I'm screaming and no one is helping and I'm standing there and screaming

[viaticpancakes]

Always about my sibling. I feel like this song is like can I make it without you. You were always there, and now you're not, and idk how to swim without you.

[viaticpancakes]

Reminder to self:

[viaticpancakes]

Why is the term "disney adult" even a thing? I never see it used in a kind way. It's always mocking someone for their interests. Like, LMM did Encanto and Moana so why is it okay to like Hamilton but to not be moved by Moana? And what about like the attachment to stories? I loved Lilo and Stitch and I have a kid who loves it and I can't wait to watch the live action with them. Why do we have to crap on people for appreciating the work of filmmakers, writers, composers, producers. You realize that adults worked on this stuff and it's a passion project for them too. The time and dedication to make a movie like NBC should be appreciated.

[viaticpancakes]

Her favorite is your favorite from when you were a kid and I wish you were here to see it.