dracowars
dracowars
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dracowars · 11 days ago
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Heyy!! I loved your peter x gwen!reader fic...I wonder if you could also do a long NWH one shot with the same gwen!reader ... Where when peter 3 enters the portal for the first time he sees reader and get's flashbacks of his gwen and gets a little sad but reader is really suspicious of him at that time and throws bread like mj and wants to confirm that he's Spiderman and all .After this when peter 3 tells peter 1 tells about his gwen . The fall part where reader falls instead of mj but gets saved by peter 3 . Finally the last part where peter 1 tells ned , mj and reader that they're gonna forget about him... Ikkk it's long but pretty pleaseee 😭😭😭😭❤️ I really wanted to see peter 1 with his gwen and you wrote your fic (which I loved) which gave me this story's motivation .
in another life | peter parker
pairing: mcu!peter x gwen!reader, tasm!peter x gwen!reader (platonic)
word count: 3,5k
summary: where two peters protect their gwen
a/n: i absolutely LOVE this idea!! tasm peter and his gwen always make me cry so i hope you like this <3 don't forget to reblog, it means the world
warnings: angst, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, mentions of death
universe: marvel
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“I just wish we could see Peter”, Ned says with his eyes closed, moving his hands the way you’ve all seen Doctor Strange do. To MJ’s and your – as well as Ned’s grandmother’s – surprise, however, one of those magical portals actually opens right in front of you in the middle of the kitchen. Ned’s grandmother slowly emerges from her hiding place and speaks to Ned in Filipino and MJ whispers something in amazement, but your gaze is solely focused on the dark alleyway the portal now leads to.
Wide-eyed, you notice the silhouette at the end of the alley slowly approaching you, which causes you to take a careful step back. MJ and Ned, however, don’t seem too frightened by the sight, and they call out to the silhouette, who, as he approaches, reveals himself to be Spiderman.
But you immediately notice that something is wrong, because this isn’t Peter’s normal suit – something about it is different you just can’t quite pin-point what it is.
Ned’s grandmother is the only one sharing your fear considering that when Peter suddenly jumps through the portal, she immediately throws a pillow at him.
“No, no, no! It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m a nice guy!”, Spiderman calls to you with his hands raised in the air. When he pulls off his mask the next second, your breath catches in your throat. The boy in the suit isn’t Peter. Ned explicitly asked for Peter Parker when he summoned the portal and this boy isn’t him. He can’t possibly be Peter; the suit must have been stolen. Or the magic didn’t work after all. Either way, the stranger seems just as confused as you, his hands still raised in surrender to show that he poses no threat to any of you.
“Who the hell are you?” It’s MJ who breaks the silence first, her body in a fighting stance right next to you. When he tells you that he is, in fact, Peter Parker, you stare at him in utter disbelief.
“That’s not possible”, you say, giving him a once-over. When your eyes meet, you feel the lump in your throat tighten.
“I am Spiderman. In my world”, he starts explaining, looking at each of you. “But then yesterday I was- I was just here.. Wow!”
You and MJ exchange a confused look and you mouth the word ‘crazy’ while this Spiderman imposter continues to throw around some physics terms, which only Ned understands.
“So, magic’s real here too?”, he asks Ned, who in his naivety immediately starts talking about sorcerers and magicians before MJ can finally silence him.
“Prove it”, you speak up, throwing a stern look at ‘Peter’.
“Prove what?”
“That you are Peter Parker.”
“I don’t carry an ID with me, you know? Kind of defeats the whole anonymous superhero–.”
He can’t even finish his sentence before you quickly grab a piece of bread from the dining table and throw it against his chest. His face is completely bewildered as he asks you, shrugging: “Why’d you do that?”
“I was trying to see if you have the tingle thing”, you tell him in all honesty. MJ and Ned also look at you in surprise, but they don’t actually seem averse to your idea.
“I have the tingle thing, just not for bread”, ‘Peter’ says in a voice that sounds as if he’s sorry for what he just witnessed. Since his answers do not convince you in the slightest, you arm yourself with the next piece of bread.
“I see. You are a deeply mistrusting person and I respect that”, he tells you and before you know it, he attaches himself to the ceiling with his fingertips.
“Crawl around”, MJ orders him, pointing to the other end of the room.
“Crawl around?”
“Yes.”
“Why do I need to crawl around?”
“This.. is not enough”, MJ gestures to what he is doing right in front of you – hanging from the ceiling.
“It’s plenty”, he answers, but when MJ still does not give in and Ned’s grandma asks him to clean up the spider webs while he’s already up there, he finally complies. With his mask in his mouth to prevent it from falling, he crawls along the ceiling. Just like your Peter. How is that possible?
“We’re good?”, he asks when he jumps down right in front of you, studying your face as if something in there interests him and he can’t quite understand what it is.
“For now”, MJ answers, still feeling a bit defensive about the whole situation. “Gwen, what was Peter’s.. our Peter’s last known location again?”
The second MJ says your name, something changes in Peter’s face and he abruptly takes a step back, as if someone had shot him. You watch in surprise as his eyes glaze over and you answer MJ, not sure how to interpret his strange behaviour.
“You’re... You’re Gwen Stacy?”, he stutters, taking a tiny step closer to you as if you intrigue him in some way. Which, to be fair, makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.
“I am. And apparently you are Peter Parker”, you tell him, still not fully convinced of what happened in the last few minutes. “Why? What happened to the Gwen in your universe?”
This question seems to struck a nerve, because once again he looks as if someone had inflicted serious harm on him. All of a sudden, you’re not sure you even want to know.
“It’s.. it’s not important. So, where do we find your Peter Parker?”
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Your heart shatters when you spot Peter sitting on the roof, completely devastated, his cheeks damp from all the tears he’s shed because of his aunt. When you see him like this, tears threaten to well up in your eyes, but you know you have to be strong for him now, for the both of you. So, without a word, you go to him and take him in your arms, which he gratefully accepts, his bloodied hands wrapping around your arm. You place a gentle kiss on his temple, causing a gasp to escape his lips, rocking his entire body and yours with it. He continues to let his tears flow freely in your arms – the only place he can feel safe now –, the loss of his beloved aunt too heavy to bear. You adored and loved her dearly too – she had always been so kind and sincere.
‘If I can no longer be there for Peter one day, I know you’ll be there for him in my place.’ Those were her words to you just a short while ago, and you simply cannot comprehend the fact that she’s now forever gone.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love”, you softly whisper in his ear, his violent sobs tearing your heart to pieces. You stay in this position for a while, holding each other or rather Peter holding on to you. You don’t know how much time passed when Peter’s spider senses kick in and he lifts his head to look around for the source.
“There’s.. There’s some people here”, you tell him, cupping his cheek in your hand. Since you don’t want to force him to do anything, you leave it up to him whether he wants to get up or continue to curl up in your arms. However, his senses seem to be telling him that there might be a potential danger, so he quickly jumps up, pushes you behind him, and looks up at the tower, where two silhouettes are now illuminated by the moonlight.
When they come jumping down and reveal themselves, Peter is completely taken aback and one of his hands gestures for you to stay close behind him. He doesn’t know yet that you have not only accumulated one, but two Spidermans from other universes. It doesn’t take him long, however, to recognize them for who they are.
When they try to express their condolences, your Peter immediately interrupts them.
“Please don’t tell me that you know what I’m going through”, his weak voice says, quivering. “She’s gone. It’s all my fault. She died for nothing.”
You listen to him trying to get rid of them while talking himself down for what he did or didn’t do. You’d love nothing more than to hold him tightly in your arms again and protect him from all the evil in this world, but at this moment, you’re not the superhero he needs. The only thing you can do is wrap your hand around one of his.
“I lost- I lost Gwen. M-My Gwen”, one of them now says, his gaze switching between yours and Peters and suddenly it all makes sense. Why he acted so weirdly once he found out your name. Why it felt like he was seeing something or someone in you. Why his heart shattered upon seeing you.
Peter immediately squeezes your hand tightly.
“I couldn’t save her. I’m never going to be able to forgive myself for that”, he continues his story, tears pricking not only his eyes, but your own as well. “But I carried on, tried to uhm.. tried to keep going, tried to keep being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Because I know that’s what she would have wanted, but at some point.. I just.. I stopped pulling my punches. I got rageful. I got bitter. I just don’t want you to end up like.. like me.”
A tear runs down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away with the sleeve of your free hand, feeling like you have no right to cry in this situation. This Peter lost his Gwen because he wasn’t able to save her in time. You, on the other hand, are still standing here, alive and well. But the thought that you could face the same fate as your twin from another universe terrifies you. And your Peter seems to feel the same way, because he takes a step forward, losing your hand from his grip.
In this moment, both of you realize that just because you are a superhero, doesn’t always mean being able to save the ones you love.
“I want to kill him. I want to kill him so he can’t hurt the last people I have left. I want to tear him apart”, he says with so much anger and hatred in his voice that you almost do not recognize him. But, somehow, you understand. You feel for him. You feel with him.
Because he is your Peter Parker and you are his Gwen Stacy.
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Everything happened so fast: one second you were standing on the scaffolding with MJ and Ned, surrounded by villains from different universes, the next second a bomb explodes, almost tearing the entire scaffolding apart, and you lost your balance. You fall down, not being able to hold onto anything as the solid ground comes closer and closer. An earth-shattering scream escapes you, your mind not able to form any clear thoughts – no last memories or words, nothing.
Helplessly, you wag your arms in the air, even though you know it’s utterly useless. Your free fall into certain death could hardly be stopped now. But then you suddenly see your Peter throw himself after you, coming much closer much faster. His hand reaches out for you. Your fingertips touch lightly before he’s suddenly pushed aside by one of Green Goblin’s gliders.
As if time slows down, you watch as all hope of rescue fades right in front of your eyes. However, you didn’t expect Peter 3, as you’ve started calling him so you can distinguish them, to also swing after you to save you, and suddenly you’re overcome by a strange feeling, as if you’ve experienced this situation before, perhaps in a previous life.
Or in another life.
When he finally reaches you, he pulls you into his arms, turns both of you around in the air, and breaks your fall with a spider web, smoothly landing on the ground, loose parts from the scaffolding hitting the ground around you. It’s hard for you to breathe as you look up and see the long distance you’ve fallen.
“Are you okay?”, Peter 3 asks you, still carrying your entire body in his arms as he looks at you with tears in his eyes. Your vocal cords fail, so you can only nod several times in rapid succession to tell him that you are, in fact, alright. But even though you’ve been saved, your heart feels incredibly heavy.
“A-Are you okay?”, you ask him now, watching a tear run down his cheek. He has to think about the answer to that question for a moment, examining your face before finally nodding as well. As he lowers you to the ground, you throw your arms around his neck, holding him tightly because you feel like that’s exactly what he needs right now.
“I couldn’t.. I couldn’t let it happen again”, he sobs into the crook of your neck, hugging you back.
“I know, I know”, you try to soothe him, running your hand over his back. “Your Gwen would be so proud of you.”
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You run into Peter’s arms as soon as he lands in front of you. He catches you with a groan, and even though everything must be aching like hell, he doesn’t let it show. His hands gently wrap around your waist and tightly press your body against his.
“Oh, you’re okay!”, MJ breathes a sigh of relief behind you and before you know it, her and Ned join the hug. The relief you all feel is immeasurable and yet you can sense a little reluctance on Peter’s part, his body stiff.
After several seconds, his grip on you loosens a little so he can get a better look at all of you.
“Are you okay?”, he asks, looking at each of you in more detail.
“Yeah, we’re okay”, Ned tells him with a smile, nodding. Peter smiles back, but when he looks at you more closely, really looks at you, fear fills his eyes all of a sudden, and he takes your face between his hands. Worry is etched all across his torn but handsome face.
“Oh my god, you’re bleeding!”, he exclaims, his thumb softly brushing over the spot on your cheek. It doesn’t even hurt when he touches it and you place your hand on top of his.
“I’m fine, I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“I’m fine. I promise”, you genuinely smile at him, the worry in his eyes slowly making way for something else. If you didn’t know better, he looks sad. Defeated. He looks at you with so much intensity now, as if he were memorizing your face, every tiny detail, every little part he loves so much, so he would never forget it.
“We should go, right?”, MJ now says, looking up at the sky where Doctor Strange is still hovering over the Statue of Liberty. Her words finally pull Peter out of his trance, and he shakes his head, swallowing a lump. He looks back and forth between the three of you, then up at the magician, before looking you straight in the eyes when he says: “You- You’re gonna forget who I am.”
“What?”, Ned immediately asks, confused. You can’t interpret his words either. Forget Peter? As if you ever could. However, something in his face tells you that you will, no matter how much you resist.
“Forget who you are? What are you even talking about?”, MJ asks, stepping closer while you take an almost imperceptible step back.
“It’s okay”, Peter starts, taking a tentative step towards you, but you can only shake your head in disbelief, retreating even more.
“None of this is okay! I won’t forget you!”, you tell him, making clear where you stand.
“I’m gonna come and find you, and I’ll explain everything”, his voice breaks at the end, seeing how a tear slips down your cheek and you immediately wipe it away with your sleeve.
“No, no, no. No!”, you yell at him now, knowing only that one word. How can he expect something like that from you? How can he expect you to agree to all of this? You don’t want to forget him. You can’t forget him.
Within seconds, Peter grabs your hand and pulls you towards him, but you resist with all your might. You pound your fists against his chest, and he lets you, only for that one word to leave your mouth over and over again. No, no, no, no, no.
“I’ll make you remember me”, he softly whispers. Even though you hit him and push him and take out all your anger on him, he remains calm and eventually holds you so tightly in his arms that you give up, sobbing, your body shaking.
“Please, love. Please stop. I don’t want to let you go like this. I don’t want you to hate me in our last moments”, he pleads with you, running one hand over your back soothingly. “I promise I’ll make you remember me. And it’ll be like none of this ever happened. Okay?”
“B-But what if that doesn’t work? What if that doesn’t work?”, you cry into his chest, listening to his heart hammering against his chest, trying to memorize the rhythm.
“I-”
“What if we can’t remember you? I don’t want that”, you tell him as he gently lifts your chin, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes search yours, but you can only scan his face, all the injuries, all the scars, all the little details that make him him. You only have so much time to memorize his face.
How is it possible that you’ll forget this face, his eyes that always greeted you with so much love and affection?
“I know, I know”, he sadly smiles, his hand running through your hair.
“And there’s nothing we can do?”, MJ asks now, her eyes teary as well. “We can’t come up with a plan? There’s always something we can do.”
“I fear there’s nothing we can do. But it’ll be okay”, Peter answers, directing the last words at you.
“You promise?”, your voice comes out weak, tears staining your cheeks.
“I promise”, he smiles, but you can clearly see the pain in his eyes. How much all of this hurts him, especially considering that he just recently lost one of the most important people in his life. Now he’ll lose all of you, too. You can’t imagine how he could ever handle that.
Peter slowly lets go of you, which you don’t want at first, but MJ and Ned also have the right to say goodbye to their best friend. MJ hugs Peter tightly and does his trademark fist bump with Ned, the one they always did in school, before hugging him too.
When he finally turns back to you, you want to burst into tears and never stop. It feels like your heart is shattering into a thousand pieces and can never, ever be mended. How are you supposed to go on without your Peter?
You can’t help but briefly think of Peter 3 and how he must have felt at that moment, losing his Gwen forever. You know this is a different situation, but who’s to say your Peter won’t lose you forever, too? That he’ll be able to make you remember him? As if reading your mind, he takes your hands in his, squeezing them, before saying: “I’ll come find you.”
“You better”, you sob, pulling him closer by your intertwined hands and placing them on your waist. “If you don’t, I’ll just figure it out. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”
Your words actually make him laugh a little, and you too have to smile when you think back to the moment you found out he was Spiderman. It seems like so long ago now.
“I promise I’ll fix this”, he says with determination in his voice.
“I really hate magic.”
“Me too”, he chuckles, taking in your beautiful face one last time.
“I love you”, you say and you want to say it over and over and over again so all of New York knows. So that all of New York won’t forget and neither will you. Or him.
“I love-”
“Just wait”, you interrupt him, smiling sadly as you see the confusion on his face. “Wait and tell me when you see me again.”
A tear finds its way down his cheek now too as he softly nods. The energy around you crackles, the magic in the air sizzling and it feels like the whole world explodes the moment his lips meet yours. It’s a desperate kiss, but also full of love and promises. He doesn’t need to tell you how much he’ll miss you. You don’t need words to understand each other, you never did.
“I love you”, you whisper against his lips, but when you open your eyes, he’s gone.
Your Peter Parker is gone. And he took your heart with him.
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dracowars · 20 days ago
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finally a new profile pic!! it was about time
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dracowars · 24 days ago
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can you write about anakin skywalker x fem!reader. anakin started having nightmares about disappointing you like he did his mom. and recently hes insecure about everything mainly his scars and his cybernetic arm. and one night he gets a nightmare again and goes outside on the balcony to get fresh air. and you wake up and follow him. and you reach out for his hand but he pulls away, them he moves away when you try to kiss him. and you get worried and at first he doesnt tell you whats wrong, but then he tells you. you hug him like snuggle into his chest and you want his hand in yours again and when he pulls away stubbornly saying that its not even him. and you pout because you love him so much. you start playfully stabbing at his cybernetic arm with your finger and you're like you feel this? then it is you❤️🥺
only human | anakin skywalker
pairing: anakin x reader
word count: 1,0k
summary: where anakin feels insecure
a/n: i love this man SO much ugh watching revenge of the sith in cinema was amazing
warnings: angst, mentions of war
universe: star wars
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An uneasy feeling that you can't quite describe washes over you in the middle of the night, your dreams turning blurry and hasty. When a light breeze meets your face, you wrinkle your nose and change your position, the sheets rustling. You lie there for no longer than a minute before you open your eyes slightly. Quickly, you understand the reason for the weird feeling you've been experiencing: the other side of the bed is empty, the sheets pushed aside where another body should be.
Moonlight illuminates the room as you sit up, frowning when you look around the room and discover that the door to the balcony at the other end of the room is open. The curtains flutter in the gentle night breeze, sending a shudder through your entire body at once. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you stand up and cautiously walk toward the balcony door.
As you step outside, you're greeted not only by the bright moonlight, but also by the numerous twinkling lights of Coruscant, as well as the muffled sounds of spaceships passing by. And Anakin, leaning against the parapet, his face buried in his hands.
"Ani?", you ask timidly, afraid of frightening him, even though it's highly unlikely he hasn't already sensed your presence through the Force. Nevertheless, he flinches almost imperceptibly and turns to you. As soon as your eyes meet and you get a good look at his face, your heart sinks in your chest, painfully contracting.
Traces of tears already shed are visible on his cheeks, his eyes red, almost bloodshot. Anakin immediately lowers his face when he sees the concern on yours, turning his body away from you in the process. Despite his defensive posture, you quickly move to his side anyway and gently place your hand on his arm. He flinches and your heart cracks.
"Another nightmare?", you ask quietly, trying to get a look at him and knowing far too well how much he hates showing himself so vulnerable and insecure in front of you, which is why he still hasn't turned his face.
A pang of guilt overcomes you that this time you didn't notice him struggling with his worst nightmares right next to you. Usually, you can already tell by his breathing becoming uneven when it's going to be another one of those sleepless nights. But this time, you weren't there to calm him down immediately.
At your words, Anakin raises his head, but his gaze and his body are still directed towards the city, the light of the never-sleeping planet illuminating his face. You see that he is struggling, that his thoughts are piling up.
"Talk to me", you whisper and reach for his hand, but as soon as you touch it even slightly, he pulls it away as if you had burned him. Startled, you take a step back.
"Don't." His voice breaks when he says this, bringing tears to your own eyes. "I hate when you look at me like that."
"L-Like what?"
"With so much pity in your eyes", he huffs, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. His words feel like he's stabbed a lightsaber right through your gut and you find it difficult to respond.
"Ani, I don't pity you. I worry about you", you finally manage to say, trying to stay strong for the both of you because you know him. You know that he gets defensive when he is overwhelmed. He simply doesn't know and never learned how to control his feelings.
"I worry about you because I love you", you add, hoping the message gets through to him. Anakin has always had to deal with a lot of insecurities, but he usually knows how to hide them behind his cocky attitude. But they often overwhelm him precisely when he's most unprepared and vulnerable. And Anakin Skywalker hates being vulnerable and weak.
"How can you love something like this?!", he asks you in a loud voice as he finally turns to you, pointing his cybernatic hand to his face, which is marked by a scar inflicted in battle. The way he asks you this leaves you speechless. He feels so much anger and hatred for himself that it hurts you. Anakin has been through so much in his short life and has never received the affection and love he deserves.
"Because that's you, Anakin", you answer clearly, your voice not even wavering, even though you feel like crying. You place your hand on his cheek, and this time he lets you. You look deep into his eyes and see all the sadness and pain he's experienced. "That's why I love you."
Gently, you run your thumb over the scar by his eye as he breaks eye contact, but when you come even closer, he turns away from you again and removes your hand so that it now lies in his mechanical one.
"I truly love everything about you", you say to him, trying to catch his eye, but it's fixed on your hand holding his. Again, he tries to pull it away, but this time you don't let him and hold on tight.
"That's not even me", Anakin murmurs, flexing the cybernetic parts that constitute his hand. His words and the self loathe he expresses them with really hurts you deep inside and you just can't wrap your head around it. How he can't see himself the way you see him: as the most beautiful and wonderful person in the entire galaxy.
With a sigh, you squeeze his hand tightly and, with both of your gazes fixed on it, you ask: "You feel that?"
"I do."
"Then it is you", you smile gently and encouragingly up at him, but you can't hide the single tear running down your cheek as your eyes meet. Within seconds, Anakin pulls you into his arms and holds you tight, as if you could disappear at any moment. He sobs into the crook of your neck, his body shaking as you gently stroke his back and hair, giving him the time he needs.
"You are perfect the way you are, Ani. All of this is a part of you and tells your story", you tell him as you continue to listen to his heart wrenching sobs. "I know your nightmares try to convince you of the worst, but you're only human. You get overwhelmed by your emotions every now and then. There's no fault in that."
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dracowars · 1 month ago
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if she doesn't pick him, i will
Materialists isn't even out yet but I'm already in love. Harry Castillo is perfect. Look at him. I swear if she doesn't pick him I will riot.
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dracowars · 2 months ago
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may the force be with you <3
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HAPPY STAR WARS DAY! | May 4th, 2025
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dracowars · 2 months ago
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i can't believe i'm saying this, but: i'm officially done with university, aahh!! i'll probably hibernate for a week, but i can't wait to get back into writing soon ✨️ i just want to warn you that in the meantime i have developed an unhealthy obsession with pedro pascal (i was obsessed beforehand but it's gotten much worse since gladiator II and the trailers for fantastic four and materialists), so you'll probably see a lot of pedro on here in the future <3 i hope you're all doing well & i missed being on here so much, can't wait to be back 🩷
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dracowars · 5 months ago
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hii!! 🫶🏻 so as you may have noticed i've once again been a bit inactive & unfortunately this will be the case for longer because i have my state examination from march-may and i'm scared af & don't know how to survive but i'll manage!! until then it'll be quiet on here, but i can't wait to come back with new creative ideas!! (i may read some fanfic to destress so maybe there will be some reblogs but don't expect a new fic from me 👉🏻👈🏻)
thank you for all the love you constantly send my way 🩷 stay safe & healthy everyone <3
xxx keira
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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Can you please write Annatar braiding the reader's hair in an affection way.
peaceful | annatar
pairing: annatar x elf!reader
word count: 0,7k
summary: where annatar braids y/n's hair
a/n: first fic of this year!! and also my first ever request for rop?? thank you so much for requesting 🫶🏻 hope you enjoy a shorter & sweeter story of our man <3
warnings: sauron being soft lol
universe: the rings of power
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It is late in the evening, the sun has already sunk below the horizon a few hours ago. Candlelight and the crackling fire in the fireplace illuminate the room you call home in a warm light. You have just stepped out onto the balcony and let your gaze wander over the beautiful city of Eregion when you hear the door slam shut.
With a smile, you turn around to greet your husband. Annatar steps out of the darkness of the door into the light, his long hair shimmering despite him only returning at this late hour of the day. His gaze is stoic at first, tense, but as soon as he meets your gaze, his features soften and a gentle smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he finds you there on the balcony in the moonlight. Waiting for him.
"I hope you didn't have to wait too long for me, my lady", he states elegantly, bowing his head with an amused look, before walking towards you with slow steps. Your body is wrapped in a white, soft dress, your long elvish hair falls smoothly over your shoulders and your neck is adorned by a filigree necklace.
"I would wait an eternity for you", you reply, and every word you say is filled with truth. Annatar knows that too so when he finally reaches you, his kiss is full of longing and passion. But also of affection.
There is noone else for him but you.
His hands hold you tightly at your waist while your own cup his face in an attempt to pull him even closer to you.
He literally takes your breath away, but it is he who breaks the kiss after several breathless moments, not you. Gently, he leans his forehead against yours and reaches for your hand, looking down at the shiny ring on your finger. The one ring that you will never take off ever again.
Then his hand wanders over your delicate skin, from your forearm to your shoulders, over your collarbone until he reaches your neck. His gaze is inspecting, as if he is looking for something. Something that he finally seems to find in your smooth hair. He gently pushes all your hair back over your shoulder so that your collarbone is fully exposed now.
"You are so beautiful", he whispers softly, but for some reason it looks as if this realization torments him deeply. In his blue eyes you see nothing than pure affection despite his torn expression, flames licking at his irises.
Although you are used to being touched and complimented by him, an immense heat burns up inside you. Even more so when he gently turns you around and runs his fingers through your hair.
"Tell me about your day, my love", he asks you, whispering closely to your ear as your gaze wanders over Eregion once more. As you begin to talk about your day, he continues to comb his fingers through your hair, leaving no strand unregarded. His touch, the whole gentleness and intimacy of it all, sends shivers down your whole body.
Carefully, Annatar starts braiding your hair, putting his entire focus to it. And you know everything he ever touches turns into pure perfection.
"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you", he suddenly interrupts your story and fixes your braided hairstyle with a clip drawn from his own hair. The bow that you carefully created out of his hair at the back of his head this morning falls apart, his hair falling into his face.
He steps in front of you now, the moon behind him giving him a halo from your point of view. All you see is him. All you feel is him.
With his fingertips, he finishes the hairstyle by pulling a few strands loose at the sides of your face. You watch him with a smile, not able to hold it back, as well as with a pounding heart. His finger slides from your temple to your chin, leaving warm spots on your skin on its wake, and lifts it, his face coming closer to yours.
"I often ask myself the same thing", you reply to his previous statement, playfully curling one of his long strands of hair around your own finger.
Annatar's eyes switch back and forth between yours, every now and then catching a glimpse at your lips. Then a genuine smile lights up his face before he leans down and unites your lips in another intense kiss.
It's peaceful moments like these that you will never forget. No matter what the future may hold. You know that Annatar will always be by your side and will love you just the way you are.
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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your favorite: movie, hobby, animal, character, color, place, season, song/album, food
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mulan | reading | dolphin | anakin skywalker | purple | in bed | winter | guts | sushi
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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happy new year everyone 🩷✨️ may this year be good to you!! 🫶🏻
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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miracle | draco malfoy
pairing: draco x reader
word count: 1,5k
summary: where draco and y/n save christmas in hogwarts
a/n: a little christmas surprise for you <3 i haven't written for draco in a long time due to no inspiration and wanting to write for other characters, but i admit that i missed him so here we are with a short and sweet christmas story with our favourite boy, hope you enjoy!! ♡
warnings: none
universe: harry potter
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The wind howls through the dark castle, gusts of snow whiz past the window, the snowflakes whirling around wildly. The frost climbs up the windows and the candles flicker in the late hour of the evening.
A snowstorm has been raging outside for several hours - something you really don't need right now. Yesterday was the last day of school at Hogwarts before the Christmas break, but this raging snowstorm is ruining all of your plans. The headmaster has forbidden anyone to leave the castle because it is far too dangerous to go out in this weather. But that also means that you are stuck in here. All of you.
Because no one can apparate out of here and the Hogwarts Express, no matter how magical it may be, cannot withstand this weather either.
Of course, Hogwarts offers the opportunity to stay in the castle over the holidays if you do not want to visit your relatives or simply have no one to visit. However, you know that many of your friends have been looking forward to their departure, preparing for weeks.
Even though Hermione is engrossed in one of her books right now, you see from the expression on her face how much it hurts her not to be able to see her parents, at least not in the foreseeable future. Harry and Ron are busy playing a game of Wizard's Chess, their board placed in the middle of the huge Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Harry would have spent Christmas with the Weasleys this year.
On one of the benches you watch Cho Chang and Hannah Abbott talk to each other, but they do so with sad faces. Over at the Slytherin table, the mood is also gloomy, their quiet murmuring washing over to you. But the worst thing is looking at the faces of the younger students - first to third years - and seeing the frustration and sadness in them.
After Dumbledore had you gather in the Great Hall earlier and informed you of these unfortunate circumstances, hardly anyone left the hall. Many were too shocked, too sad, too surprised or even too overwhelmed to leave.
Which leaves you with a lot of sad, even bored figures who seem to have completely lost the Christmas spirit.
But you weren't chosen as Head Girl at the beginning of the school year for nothing, and that's the reason why you suddenly find yourself at the Slytherin table, with none other than Draco Malfoy in your sights.
At first, he doesn't even notice you. He has his chin resting on his hand and looks up sullenly at the candles floating under the ceiling. Apparently, this situation doesn't even leave his dark heart cold.
"Can I talk to you for a second?", you ask, catching his attention. Draco's grey eyes wander to you, but he doesn't move. He doesn't have to, because his intense gaze already makes you shudder and your heart beat faster.
Yes, you admit it - you had a crush on him for a while. But that was only from fifth to sixth year, because suddenly everyone was swooning over him. Well, your heart apparently hasn't yet understood that this crush is long gone and no longer relevant.
Whoever decided that Draco should be Head Boy in your final year remains a mystery to you. (You know it was Dumbledore. After all, only he can fill that position, but still.)
The others at the table give you looks that you can't quite interpret. But you don't have time to do that anyway because Draco finally stands up from his seat at the table and gently places his hand on your arm. Then, he leads you away from the table to prevent the others from overhearing you.
"What's wrong?", he asks and if you didn't know better, you'd think he sounds almost worried. He doesn't ask what you want in that characteristic snarky tone of his, but what's wrong with you specifically. Suddenly you feel seen and suppress a blush before you sort out your thoughts and turn to the problem at hand.
"We have to do something. I can't bare to look at another sad face. The younger students in particular are desperate to go home", you explain to him, holding his gaze while he looks at you with peaked interest. "So I thought we might as well try to make the best of it?"
It's more so a question than a statement, but something inside of Draco's eyes lights up at your words.
"What do you have in mind?", he asks in a lowered voice and bends forward so that his face is now much closer to yours. His pale skin shines in the candlelight, his eyes standing out even more because of the black and green uniform.
To your surprise, Draco actually likes all your ideas, he is almost enthusiastic about them. While you tell him about them, he folds his arms in front of his chest and looks at you intently with a slight grin playing around his lips. Only when you ask him for his opinion does he seem to come back to reality and straighten up.
"I'm in", he winks at you with a genuine smile and immediately gets to work. Within a few minutes, the Great Hall is even more festive than before. With the help of the other Slytherins, Draco lets snow fall from the ceiling.
The Gryffindors, together with the Ravenclaws, are taking care of further Christmas decorations. They are lighting more fires in the fireplaces all around so that it is cozy and warm in the big hall. The Hufflepuffs, on the other hand, have been given a very important task - together with the house elves, they are carrying numerous baking utensils onto the huge tables.
After a while, some of the teachers have also heard about the celebrations going on in the Great Hall and are gradually joining in. Professor Flitwick is teaching some of the second years a Christmas carol while the choir is already getting into the mood.
With the help of Professor Snape, who looks as grim as ever and thus looks very similar to Ebenezer Scrooge, the Slytherins conjure up a huge ice surface in the entrance to the Great Hall. The students immediately go out onto the magical ice with ice skates that appear out of nowhere and do their laps. The snow piles up in some corners, leading to several snowball fights. Due to the snow being magical, no one gets cold or wet. Laughter echoes through the hall, and you are suddenly met with happy faces everywhere.
"Well done, Head Girl", Draco nudges you with his elbow as he suddenly appears next to you. You didn't even hear him approaching you, too busy watching the students doing pirouettes on the ice rink. The warmth emanating from him by your side makes you feel content.
"Couldn't have done it without the Head Boy", you smile at him, nudging him back playfully.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you just complimented me", Draco laughs and his eyes have that sparkle again. His laugh is something you see so rarely that you are rendered speechless for a few seconds.
"Don't get used to it, Malfoy", you reply once you have rediscovered your voice. Draco looks at you with that intense look again and you have the feeling that only the two of you exist in this very moment. That's why you are glad when you see something out of the corner of your eye, a distraction.
The house elves have been helping the students bake cookies on the huge tables. However, it has obviously gotten out of hand because a first year walks past you, completely covered in white. Not from snow, but from flour.
Startled, you run towards the tables and demand that the children stop, but it is far too loud for them to hear you. And you doubt they would even listen to your words if they did.
Draco, who is standing next to you again, is watching the events in front of you with a grin tucking at the corner of his lips. Whether it is because of the flour fight or the fact that no one is listening to you, you don't know. You look at him for help, but instead of helping you, he picks up one of the finished cookies and holds it in front of your nose.
The sweet, delicious smell fills your nose immediately and calms down your nerves. As soon as you take a bite, the chocolate, which is still a little warm, melts on your tongue.
However, you can't enjoy it much longer as a cloud of flour suddenly breaks over the both of you and completely covers you and Draco in white powder.
With your mouth open, you look at Draco in shock, who stares at you with a similar look. Then you both start laughing loudly at the exact same time. You are white from head to toe, the children around you giggling as well.
"Merry Christmas, Y/N", Draco speaks through your laughter, catching his breath while gently removing flour from the top of your head with his hand.
"Merry Christmas, Draco."
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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I’ve never met anyone like you before
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dracowars · 6 months ago
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look at him LOOK AT HIM!!! i would quite literally die for neel 😭 his little elephant snorts while sleeping i- best character ever
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dracowars · 7 months ago
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oh my god why have i never come across your masterlist before with gems like this?? this was so beautiful and at the same time sad, self-fulfilling prophecy and such 😫 i love him so so much and i loved this so much, definitely one of my fav anakin fics now!! 🫶🏻 (can't believe this was your first one??)
— YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME
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PAIRING — Anakin Skywalker // suitless!Darth Vader x fem!Gray Jedi!Reader
SUMMARY — You were Anakin’s childhood friend but you left the Jedi Order and him behind to walk your own path. Despite that, he’s determined to protect you from danger but what he doesn’t realise is that he might be the threat himself.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — I’m a Star Wars fan for 20 years now but I have never published any fics written for this universe so I’m kind of nervous anyway… 🙈 Padmé doesn’t exist in this one, I guess, therefore Obi–Wan didn’t get to destroy our boy Ani on Mustafar. I’m not sure, to be honest, can Reader be called a Gray Jedi but I think it suits her the most. 💗
WARNINGS — dark themes, Force choke™, open ending
WORD COUNT — 2,400
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
Weiterlesen
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dracowars · 7 months ago
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holy moly i am speechless, this is an absolute masterpiece! the way you write sauron and include little details that make it feel so incredibly realistic.. wow!! i loved every second of it even though it kind of hurt 😭
— KINGDOM OF DISTURB
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PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader
SUMMARY — Despite being locked inside his fortress, you cannot complain about being Sauron's Queen. You are surrounded by luxury and your every wish is fulfilled. After long centuries of such life, however, you grow a little bored. Mentioning it to your husband has terrible consequences.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — The title is from the song that inspired me (Kingdom of Disturb by Nostalghia) and of course you don't have to know the song to read the fic but I strongly recommend it because it fits so well with the whole theme – In fever dreams he holds me // Fever dreams destroy me // Inside his kingdom of disturb // I am the queen of his design 😌 Basically, in this fic, you are kind of living like Celebrimbor and it gets dark as well – although not that dark lmao I imagine Sauron as Annatar here but you can imagine him as whatever to be honest and the Reader had to be an Elf so she could live for a very long time, but other than that she is not described in any way!
WARNINGS — mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut), mentions of Reader wanting to have a child (spoiler alert: Sauron does not), toxic & abusive relationship with some physical violence (he pulls and drags her by her hair), manipulation, gaslighting, victim blaming
WORD COUNT — 3,450
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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KINGDOM OF DISTURB
When Sauron married you and made you his Queen, he took you to a huge and beautiful fortress in the Southlands. You had imagined being his spouse a little differently – more… actively. You had been imagining yourself healing Middle-earth alongside your husband but he kept you hidden inside your chambers instead.
He was assuring you the reason was your safety since his task was not yet done. And you believed him because you wanted to. Even the fact that the heavy doors of your chambers remained locked all the time was something done out of his love and his protectiveness. You understood. In fact, it felt good to be protected by him. To be taken care of. To be aware of the depths of his devotion to you.
And most of the days, you spent alone; awaiting his return from his journeys and battles. However, he made sure that you were never bored.
Your chambers were enormous and the most beautifully decorated in all sorts of silver, gold, gemstones and ornaments. Velvet, silk and cotton surrounded you and everything smelled of fresh flowers that were being changed everyday by your servants.
You had every book you wanted there and your ladies-in-waiting, as you liked to call them, were skilled in nearly every craft, so they could entertain you with their musical skills, new dresses made for you, drama plays performed for you to watch and clap your hands at… Anything you asked for was there – within the reach of your little finger.
And when you wanted to spend the time outside, perhaps you could not do that fully but you had a huge balcony all for you from where you could watch the vast and green land of the Southlands. The sunrays were keeping you warm and the blue skies were calming your senses as the sounds of birds, wind and playing children from afar were reaching your ears.
It was a paradise where you lived and you did not mind being trapped. Sauron was making sure of that. Your every whim was being fulfilled and whenever he was back to spend some time with you, he was the most skilled and attentive lover. After a few days or weeks spent in his embrace, you were too hazy to complain or to think of anything else except for the amount of your love towards him.
You were not sure for how many years you had been there – centuries, perhaps. Time was a blurry concept for you these days. And the most uncertain. However, throughout all those years, you had been very satisfied and content with your life as Sauron’s Queen. You had been waiting very patiently for him to finally heal Middle-earth and to prepare his realm for you to join his side fully.
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Only recently, something had changed. And when Sauron had come back to you after being separated for a bit longer than usual, at first he hadn’t noticed any of that.
You had spent a whole night in each other’s embrace, your bodies tangled together as they reached a peak after peak between the gasps, moans, arched backs, curled toes and fingernails being dug into flesh. He was a Maia and he could go on for days without a break but you were not graced with such powers, therefore you required a rest. So, he granted it to you in the early morning as you both laid underneath the silky sheets.
After taking a short and regenerating nap, you yawned softly and giggled when Sauron’s hands caressed your sides. You looked deep into his eyes and placed a kiss upon his lips, caressing his cheeks. But when you opened your mouth to start the conversation you had been dying to have for a long while now, you were interrupted by one of his servants with a knock upon your doors.
“What is it?” Your husband asked, irritated, as he rolled his eyes at you playfully.
“My Lord Sauron, there is an important matter to discuss,” the raspy voice of his servant reached your ears.
You had never seen any of his servants but you could imagine they looked quite different from your gentle and beautiful ladies-in-waiting. You were not sure of their race since they had been the same since the beginning but you did not ask any questions about it since you were pleased with them either way.
“I shall return to you soon, my love,” Sauron kissed your forehead and left your bed.
He got dressed up quickly and turned around to smile at you adoringly before walking out of your chambers. A short while later, you could hear the doors being locked.
You stretched your sore limbs and stood up to dress up yourself, too. Sometimes, you liked to do it yourself instead of asking for your ladies-in-waiting. As much as you adored them, you had also quite grown used to solitude. And sometimes you preferred it this way.
After putting on a gown, you stood in front of the large mirror and caressed your curves underneath the fabric. You wondered how your body would look if it were changed by pregnancy. And when you turned to your side to put your hand on your abdomen, pretending to be carrying your husband’s child already, he walked inside this very moment, startling you.
You quickly moved your hand away but you were sure he had spotted what you were doing as he tilted his head and approached you slowly. Without a word, he stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you – the red colour of his robes looked so regal contrasting with the golden colour of yours.
“What are you doing, my love?” He whispered into your neck, placing a gentle kiss there and making you shiver.
You looked down at first and wanted to tell him that nothing, you were doing nothing. On the other hand, that was the conversation you had wanted to have with him for a long time now but each time you either were running out of courage or you were being interrupted.
So, you looked up to meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror and you took a deep breath in.
“What if we had a child together, my love?” You asked and watched how Sauron’s facial expression changed from playful to serious… Angry, even. His jaw clenched and his eyes – usually so kind and loving towards you – filled with rage that he was trying to keep at bay but you knew him too well not to notice. “What is it?” You turned around in his arms uncomfortably as you met his gaze in reality now and not only in the reflection of the mirror.
“Are you not happy with me?” Sauron asked with all seriousness and concern.
“I am very happy, my love. That is why I want to–” you started, a little surprised by his tone.
“Why do you want to ruin what we share then?” He interrupted you, harshly and it made you shut your mouth immediately.
“I had no idea that you perceived the possibility of fatherhood this way,” you finally said in a weak whisper.
“There is no such possibility,” your husband took a step back as if he was disgusted with you at that moment and it hurt you deeply.
“Physically, it is. There have been cases of Maia and Elves having offspring together. Rare, but still…” You swallowed thickly as Sauron’s eyes filled with even more anger and the corners of his lips twitched.
“You… You have been researching that?” He asked with contempt.
“My love, I do not want to push you into anything or force anything upon you!” You quickly reached out to grab his wrists to calm him down. He allowed you to touch him but he did not touch you back in any way and his eyes did not turn softer at all. “If a child – an heir – is not what you wish, let it be then. I only want to know the reason why not,” you explained, looking for compassion. “If it is jealousy… For I am aware of the amount of your devotion towards me… Well, I can assure you that my love can be shared and perhaps I would love you even more if–”
“I am not jealous,” Sauron snorted at that and you closed your mouth, blinking your fresh tears away. “Do you have any idea how powerful I am?”
“Of course, my love,” you nodded, surprised at the question.
“And do you think I wish to share this power? This greatness?” He freed his wrists from your grasp and walked away to pace around with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Do you not wish to share it with me one day? Once Middle-earth is healed?” You asked, confused.
“It is different. Our child could be even more powerful than I am. I do not wish for heirs,” he explained, nervously, “for they could be a threat.”
“A threat?” You asked, taken aback by his words. “Your own children? A threat for you?”
“You are not happy… You are not happy here,” he kept repeating as if he was angry and worried at the same time, ignoring your questions and walking in circles like some sort of a maniac.
“My love…” You tried to catch his attention again, staring at him with your eyebrows furrowed. You had never seen him so upset and you felt guilty for causing this. He had enough worries outside this fortress and when he was with you, you wanted him to feel calm and relaxed.
“You are not happy… You are not…” He was no longer paying attention to his surroundings, spiralling down as if his world had just crumbled down.
“My love…?” You tried once again.
“Not happy, not happy, not happy, not–”
“Sauron!” You addressed him and this time your voice grew harsher out of impatience. He froze and turned around to face you, with his hands still clasped behind his back. He was visibly taken aback by the tone of your voice but you were frustrated now by the way he behaved.
And, perhaps, he should have finally heard some truths.
“I am not unhappy, my love,” your voice grew softer but it was still quite distant. “The life I have here is the most luxurious and I am being spoiled by you every day, even when you are away. I am the most grateful,” you assured him and he sighed with relief. “However,” you added and he furrowed his brows again, “I grow tired of being locked away. I wish to walk outside, I wish to meet more people than my ladies-in-waiting. I know you are not yet done healing Middle-earth but I know you do have whole realms under your rule already. Are your subjects not curious about their Queen? I would love to go outside and meet them. Even though I have here everything I could ask for, I still grow bored sometimes as I seek for some purpose or adventure. Perhaps a child is something I started to crave because of boredom,” you finished and took a deep breath in, feeling the burden you had been carrying for so long within your soul being released.
Sauron’s face was unreadable at that moment but he remained still like a statue as he kept staring at you coldly, without even blinking. You swallowed thickly and after a moment, you simply had to look down, too intimidated by his stare.
“You are… bored?” He laughed contemptuously, breaking the silence. “I have to spend long weeks away from you to heal this realm and prepare it for you, so you can rule it alongside me when everything is all ready for you and handed out to you on a silver plate – like everything else – and you complain about… boredom? I fight battles and risk my life, while remembering to spoil you every day no matter what, only for you to show such brattiness?” His voice was filled with so much disappointment that you wished to die at this very moment.
Perhaps he was right. Perhaps you were being ungrateful.
“F-forgive me,” you whimpered, still not brave enough to look up.
“Oh, it is too late, my love,” he emphasised the last two words with anger as he approached you and grabbed you by the roots of your hair, making you yelp. He had never done anything of this sort to you before and you had never expected him to. He had to be even more angered than he showed. “Do you wish to know the truth?” He whispered into your ear venomously. “You have no idea how much power and focus I have to sacrifice for you to live a life so beautiful and yet you dare to complain?” He asked and you could not understand the meaning of his words. You only kept sobbing and not even because of the physical pain he was causing you at the moment but mostly because of the way he was behaving towards you. “True, your naiveness and foolishness makes it a little easier. You do not notice my little slip-ups and oversights… But still… I’d be much more powerful if I did not have to sacrifice so much of my abilities on creating this illusion for you,” he drawled out.
“What illusion?” You asked through the tears and Sauron looked deep into your eyes, pulling your hair even harder as you whimpered. He kept staring at your face with anger and contempt, visibly overthinking something.
“Let me show you the truth, my little brat,” he smirked and the corners of his eyes twitched nervously. In that moment, you suddenly realised that the light coming through the curtains from the outside was gone.
The chambers still looked the same – full of luxurious goods and items – but they were all so… dark. And somehow dusty as if there was ash covering some of the furniture. You squinted your eyes at that, not fully understanding the meaning of any of it.
“Here,” Sauron dragged you by your hair towards the balcony doors. And when he opened them and forced you to look ahead, you gasped in terror.
The Southlands were no more. The green land full of the bird songs, blue skies and the children’s laughter was nothing but a dark land of gloom and ashes with the huge volcano breathing out smoke in the distance. The skies were orange from the clouds and fire and there were ashes dancing in the air. It was hell and you realised that this was the reality – not the beautiful and gentle things you had been seeing for the past centuries whenever you had walked out to breathe in fresh air and feel the sunshine on your skin.
“You are not healing Middle-earth,” you whispered, nearly inaudibly, feeling defeated. “You are annihilating it.”
Sauron let go of your hair finally and pushed you away while doing so.
“I am healing it. Middle-earth is too spoiled and rotten for the process to go smooth and easy. I must purge it and rebuild it and then, only then, we shall rule it together,” his voice went softer again but it was still filled with a scary hint of darkness.
When you looked up at him, he was smiling at you lovingly again as if he hadn’t just caused you any pain. And you realised that from now on, you would always hear that scary hint of darkness in his voice no matter what. Because it had most likely always been there.
You remained speechless, staring at him with your wet eyes and silent tears streaming down your cheeks. He reached his fingers out to wipe them out of your face.
“Now you see it… I was trying to protect you from the whole process… From the truth of it… For I knew you would not understand my vision. And you shall stay here until my task is complete, my Queen,” he assured you sweetly.
“I do not want to…” You confessed.
For the first time in your life, you truly did not. Even though it was impossible to stop loving someone in a brief moment – no matter how much pain they had caused you and how evil they had turned out to be. You had been loving him for too many centuries to stop now. But it did not change the fact you simply did not want to be by his side anymore. 
You expected Sauron to get angry again but he did not. He cupped both of your cheeks now and leaned in as he kept staring at you with a mix of affection and pity. He knew very well that what you wanted mattered no more.
“But you must, my love, for I shall never let you go,” he whispered, pecking your lips delicately and tasting your salty tears. “However, now that you know the truth, I do not see the point of my further illusions. Your curiosity and brattiness have robbed you of this privilege,” he pointed out and caressed your hair. “Come back inside, my darling,” he dropped his hands to your arms and led you back into your chambers.
He let go of you to close the balcony doors behind you two and you froze at the sight of a few shadow-like creatures floating above the dusty floor of your bedroom. Their shapes were humanoid enough to be unsettling but there was nothing pure about them and their eyes were red as they burned with fire.
“Wh-what are those?” You asked.
“Those are your ladies-in-waiting,” Sauron answered, trying to make his voice sound sweet although you were aware that calling them by the name you had given them was nothing but mockery.
“I do not think I want their service anymore,” you swallowed thickly. If his illusions were to be truly gone, you would rather live alone there instead of having such creatures following you around.
Even though they had already been doing that for centuries now…
Sauron chuckled to himself and nodded at the shadows. They disappeared immediately after and you sighed with relief.
“Do you still wish for a child, my love?” Sauron asked you and put his arm around you before leaning in to kiss your temple. “Because I think that, after all, I could give you one to make you less lonely,” he teased, cruelly.
“I would never curse my child to share their eternity with me in this prison,” you looked up as you answered, feeling the lump forming in the back of your throat.
“Whatever you wish, my Queen,” Sauron smirked and gently pressed your face to his chest as he caressed the back of your head. “I am sorry for causing you pain. I truly am,” his voice broke a little and you wanted to believe him because what else could you do?
Believing him would make this whole thing a little bit easier.
“I know,” you whispered, feeling utterly defeated.
“Do not anger me like this again,” he whispered and even though his voice was full of guilt, there was a threat in it, too. “I do not want to cause you pain. You mean the world to me,” he explained and you realised that perhaps he was believing his own self while saying these things, too.
After a while like this; being forced to hug him but with your eyes kept open, he took a step back from you and lifted your chin up gently.
“I must leave now again, forgive me. I have received worrying news this morning from my servant,” he explained. “I shall be back soon. Keep your bed ready for me, my Queen,” he teased playfully as he usually would but this time it did nothing to you except for making your stomach twist.
He leaned in to place a kiss upon your forehead and turned around to leave. You watched him walk away and heard the lock turn. You were left alone in the darkness of this room, which was covered in the ashes getting inside through the windows. You were lonely and broken – with the sound of the volcano and burning fire accompanying you from afar.
You sat down on the floor and brought your knees all the way up to rest your chin upon them as you wrapped your arms around your legs. Curled up this way, you began rocking yourself slowly to calm down and to seek for comfort in your own embrace.
This was how your life would look like from now on. But it was better than living inside a lie.
Was it?
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MASTERLIST
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dracowars · 7 months ago
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“I feel like Mairon again; if I grasp harder onto you, it will right every wrong I have ever done.”
stAPH IT right now you evil evil (hot) man
“I cannot love,” Sabina whispered out. A smile touched his lips as he lifted his head to gaze into her sapphire ones.
“Neither can I,” he said softly before fixing a strand of hair that had been loosened by him snatching her arm. [...] “But we will have an eternity to learn its meaning.”
this is what i call perfection, hello?? i'm squealing 😭😭
“A woman that has shown me that even in the darkest of nights, there will always be light to guide me where I need to be, my Silmë,” he breathed, and before she could say what was on her mind, he continued.
i love it and then i read the translation for the word and i quite literally screamed 🥺 i loved everything about this!! soft sauron <3
→ starlight
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PAIRING → annatar (sauron) x f!oc!sabina
WORD COUNT → 1.1k words
WARNINGS → soft!sauron, mentions of past trauma, love confessions (if you can even call it that), giving of gifts
SUMMARY → after a life-altering event in sabina's life, she is now free to choose her path with all the knowledge of who she really is.
AUTHORS NOTE → so yes, i have given up writing a coherent story as it was stressing me out and i was pretty bored of writing the same stuff over again. i will just be posting from now on parts of their story because honestly i'm going where the inspiration takes me. i have so much already written for them that i felt was going to waste as it did not fit into a chronological order for the story. so i'm abandoning the chronological story but not the over arching story i have laid out for them. i would rather write what i am inspired to, so don't kill me for not going in order lol
SAURON X F!OC!SABINA MASTERLIST
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There was a soft knock on her chamber’s door. She turned as she finished putting her other earring in. Sabina stood, gathered up her skirts, and walked over, opening the door just a crack to see him standing there. She opened the door more as he inclined his head to her softly. A smile touched her lips as she leaned against the door frame.
“Can I help you, my lord?” She said, looking down the corridor to see if someone was there. Ever since the whole ordeal by the river, Sabina had become paranoid that Olavi would appear out of the middle of nowhere and drag her back to him only to cage her once again. She had disappeared for a few days into her chambers, trying to unpack everything: seeing her mother, learning her parentage, and how her fate rested in the hands of the being that now stood at her door. 
It was a lot to take in, and Celebrimbor had been all but accepting of her absence for a couple of days. But she had to appear at the gathering tonight to see how her master’s help had provided a fruitful product. 
“May I come in?” he asked. She nodded, and he walked through, moving to stand by her bed. “Are you well?” Sabina looked at him, puzzled.
“Are you seeing if you need to manipulate me more than usual?” she scoffed. He sat down on the edge of her bed and shook his head.
“Hardly.” The aura coming off him was something she had never seen on him or in Olavi, for that matter. He was nervous about something.
“Are you scared of me?” she asked with a playful smile. He narrowed his gaze at her. 
“No,” he answered tartly. “I must admit I was completely in the dark on this one. He did not share much with me, but I caught glimpses of her when he invaded my mind to torture me.” Sauron looked away from Sabina’s amused gaze. “It was why I became intrigued with you.” Sabina snorted and went back to her vanity.
“Are you getting soft and sentimental with me, my dear Dark Lord?” He stood quickly and moved over to her, grabbing her wrist sharply and turning her to face him as his dark eyes poured into her.
“This poking of fingers is tiresome; I am not trying to deceive you or trick you.” His throat worked, and she watched his eyes soften back into their bluest shade. “I am trying to show you that I wish to right my master’s wrongs. I dare not treat you as Olavi did or how I was treated. With you—” He trailed off as her eyes widened and her throat worked. A lone tear touched his cheeks. “I feel like Mairon again; if I grasp harder onto you, it will right every wrong I have ever done.” Sabina reached up to wipe the tear from his cheek. 
“We both know that could never happen,” she whispered. “You require a peace I could never give you; I am driven by my need to seek power and control.” He moved to rest his head in her palm.
“But why could we not do that together?” he breathed softly against her wrist. “Just you and I healing this world, carving a path for the both of us to live our lives freely.” Sabina rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone as she sighed. 
Her dark desire for him was always deeply rooted, but now that she was completely free of Olavi, it had risen considerably. She could not say she loved him because love was not in her vocabulary after Olavi had forced those feelings onto her, but she could grow to learn the meaning of it—just like how her mother was still so completely infatuated with the man who bore her, even after learning who he was and why he sought her out.
“I cannot love,” Sabina whispered out. A smile touched his lips as he lifted his head to gaze into her sapphire ones.
“Neither can I,” he said softly before fixing a strand of hair that had been loosened by him snatching her arm. The magic of his touch twirling the strand back into its place sent shivers down her spine and caused her to close her eyes. Sauron leaned forward, inches away from her lips, hot breath covering her face as she felt his hand traveling up the fabric of her sleeve, tracing over the ripples of elegant fabric and golden detailing on the crimson fabric.  “But we will have an eternity to learn its meaning.”
Sabina waited for the pressing of lips against hers, but nothing came, and she could not help but feel slightly hurt by the lack of touch. Instead, she opened her eyes and watched as he produced something from underneath his gray robe. He placed the small pendant in his hands. The star-like shape on the golden chain shimmered and shone in the candlelight. “For you,” he held it out to her, and she took in its beauty. The diamonds encrusted in a star-like shape were something out of this world and, indeed, the work of a man so gifted in the art of forging. “A woman that has shown me that even in the darkest of nights, there will always be light to guide me where I need to be, my Silmë,” he breathed, and before she could say what was on her mind, he continued. “No trickery, no deception, no binding element, just a gift for a woman that I shall travel back to even in my darkest of nights.” 
He motioned for her to turn, and she did so, pulling her hair away from her neck so he could lay the necklace around her neck. He clasped it before placing his hands on her shoulders. Sabina ran her fingers across the beautiful jewels and smiled, her heart pounding in her chest as she felt his lips touch the top of her head.
“Thank you,” Sabina breathed while turning to face him. “But we may cause alarm if we are not down there to celebrate with Celebrimbor.” She said, moving away from him towards the door, a smile playing on his lips. “Surely you would want to bask in the glory of satisfaction for creating those rings,” She paused, and her eyes darkened slightly. “And taking what was his at the same time,” Sauron let a chuckle through his lips.
“You know me too well, my lady,” Sabina nodded and made her way out the door. She could not help the youthful maiden smile on her lips. She knew she could never love again, nor did she want to, but he was making it incredibly difficult not to.
Silmë - quenya for starlight
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dracowars · 7 months ago
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ahhh thank you so much 🥺🫶🏻 and me too, just give me anything x princess!reader and i'm hooked!!
of kings and queens | halbrand
pairing: halbrand x númenorean!princess!reader
word count: 6,6k
summary: where halbrand and y/n are forced to marry and he unveils a world she's only ever dreamed of
a/n: how do i manage to make it longer every time you ask?? i have no idea, i just go with the flow & suddenly i'm at 6k~ i have been struggeling with this one but i'm proud of how it ultimately turned out!! feedback is always appreciated and thank you for all the love <3
warnings: angst, forced marriage, panic attack, mentions of sickness, soft sauron
universe: the rings of power
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"I won't marry a stranger!", you loudly cry out in anger and slam your fists on the table with all your might, the sheer force of it causing some of the parchments to fall to the marble floor.
"He is no stranger. He is the King of the Southlands", your sister, Queen-Regent Míriel, tells you matter-of-factly.
"Who told you that? The elf?", you spit out, the blood running through your veins seething with anger. "Just a few days have gone by since he was detained in one of our cells, and now he is being hailed as a long-lost king? Do you even listen to yourself?"
"Sister-"
"Don't 'sister' me right now."
Míriel takes a deep breath, resting her weight on the table with both arms, and lowers her head as if she needs a moment to avoid lashing out on you in the same manner you are currently displaying.
"Listen. A marriage like this would rekindle and strengthen the bond between the people of Middle-earth and our kind for generations to come", she explains, her voice calm, but you know her well enough to notice that she has to pull herself together.
"Very well, go ahead and marry him then", you counter and give her a challenging look, the one you have been giving her since you were children. "Why should I be the one to suffer?"
"As the Princess of Númenor, it is your duty to prioritize the welfare of your people over your own!", she yells at you now, her nostrils flaring. You'd be lying if you said you didn't flinch a little when she raised her voice. Usually, it takes longer to unsettle her.
Elendil, who is standing at the large doors to the room, also seems a little shocked. As the two exchange a tender look, however, Míriel's features relax again and she straightens up, slipping back into the role of the wise, majestic Queen-Regent of Númenor.
"I won't accept no for an answer", she tells you, all calm and collected again. No trace left of your loving sister whom you loved so much.
"You have held me captive within these castle's walls for longer than I know and now you wish to ship me off like that?", you scoff in disbelief, crossing your arms in front of your chest, trying to mask how much she's hurting you right now.
"You wanted freedom. Here I am granting it to you."
"This is not freedom", you express your words through gritted teeth, your eyes burning with tears as your words have no effect on Míriel. "You think you can still control me like a child. But you no longer hold any power over me. I won't let you dictate the course of my life."
To emphasize your point, you grab the unassuming tiara adorning your head, smaller and thus in stark contrast to your sister's, and forcefully hurl it to her feet. Several small diamonds come loose and the sound of them scattering around the marble floor makes you shiver.
"I don't care who he is", you say angrily, your hands clenched into fists at your sides while Míriel only looks at you in shock, her eyes wide. "I won't marry someone I don't know, let alone love."
With these final words, you turn away and walk towards the door, which Elendil quickly opens for you. On his face, you clearly see that he feels sorry about how this whole situation expired. But you don't need his pity.
You stomp out angrily, holding back your tears, your pulse pounding in your ears. You have never told her what you think before. You have always done what she asked of you, been a good little sister because you can only imagine the burden she is carrying. But today she has crossed a line.
When you turn around in the hallway one last time, catching a glimpse of Míriel through the closing door, you see Elendil carefully approaching her to comfort her. From this perspective, she looks exhausted, hurt even. But all you feel towards her is anger. You can't help but roll your eyes and release a heavy breath of air from your lungs.
Undoubtedly, that is the reason why she wants you to marry Lord Halbrand. Because her heart is already taken.
You think back to times when you would have been overjoyed, when you would have been genuinely happy for her. You two would have lain on soft pillows and talked about everything, every little detail. Now, you can find none of these feelings inside of you.
Completely lost in your thoughts, you walk through the large halls of the castle, your home. A home that feels much more like a prison. With your head low, you turn a corner and suddenly collide with a hard wall. Caught off guard, you stumble back until a hand closes around your wrist and holds you tight.
You forget to breathe for a moment when your gaze meets his.
"Whoa there. Where are you headed, my lady?", Lord Halbrand asks you in surprise, a gentle smile on his face as he holds you close, his touch on your skin burning. As soon as you notice this, you break free from his grip and take your distance, smoothing down your dress, which he only comments on with a frown.
He is the last person you want to talk to right now.
"Are you all right?", he asks you with concern in his voice, making you realize that you haven't given him an answer and just stood there in silence. In fact, you don't really have anything to say to him. You just wish he would go back to Middle-earth where he belongs.
"Yes", you finally answer, coldly and curtly. "Now if you'll excuse me."
You walk past him, your shoulders almost touching, and listen to your own loud footsteps echoing through the halls as you walk down the corridor.
"Your demeanour leads me to believe that the Queen-Regent informed you of our plans", his voice calls after you, suddenly bringing you to an abrupt halt.
Our plans? That means they have been talking about this behind your back for who knows how long. You were deemed to lose from the beginning. As always.
"She did", you say, slowly turning around and towards him. He hasn't moved from the spot where you left him moments ago, but his presence fills the entire hallway anyway.
The way he stands there and looks at you, as if you were fragile and pitiable, makes the anger inside of you boil up once more and you walk towards him. Instead of taking a step back, however, he takes one towards you so that he is now towering over you with all his height.
"Listen to my words: I don't know what exactly you hope to achieve with this.. marriage. But it will never happen. I will not marry you", you tell him clearly, emphasizing the last words by poking your index finger into his chest. You don't give him time to answer, but as you turn around you notice the knowing grin that plays around his lips.
You decide not to respond to this and move away from him entirely. As soon as you turn into the next corridor, you finally feel like you can breathe again. At least as much as is possible for you within these walls.
You haven't been able to breathe properly in here for a long time.
You walk to your room, two guards posted on either side of the massive doors, and let yourself through without a word. Once inside, you find your way directly to the balcony, which overlooks the entire city and the harbour. The wind blows through your hair and creates a sad smile on your lips. From up here, you can hear nothing but the wind, the people frolicking down there nothing more than tiny black dots. A single tear finds its way down your cheek and you don't bother to wipe it away. Rather, you are amazed that you can even cry at all after all the tears you have already shed here.
You don't know if it is at that moment, or before, when you threw your crown at Míriel's feet, but you make a decision.
With a goal in mind, you go back inside, into the huge room you call your own and search through several closets until you find what you are looking for. You swap your beautifully ornamented dress for a more simple one, get rid of all your jewelry and put your hair into a casual updo. On the way to the door, your own reflection briefly looks back at you from the mirror across the room and you pause as you look at yourself.
Nothing is left of the little girl who once had dreams and pursued goals.
Taking another deep breath, you open the door and step out. The guards bow, as they always do when they see you.
"I'm going to pay a visit to my father", you explain to them, which they confirm with a short nod. They are about to follow you, but seem to remember that you are now allowed to walk around without guards constantly at your side, at least within the castle's walls. A change that hasn't been in effect for very long.
Nevertheless, you quicken your pace once you are out of their reach, afraid that they will decide to follow you after all. On your way, you make sure to avoid the maids and other guards, hiding behind corners, holding your breath. When you finally arrive at the stairs to the tower that lead up to your father, you stop hesitantly. But it only takes a moment, remembering your conversation with Míriel and all the other terrible events of the past, for you to regain your strength and turn away. With quick steps, you take the next set of stairs that lead down.
As you arrive in corridors that lead to the kitchen and staff facilities, you pay close attention to every little noise. Your heart is pounding so hard against your chest that you feel like it can be heard echoing throughout the corridors. You put your shaking hands against the spot where your heart is and try to calm yourself down. You've never tried to break out of this prison before, you always thought you were here for your own good. But you know better now. The thought of the outside world, which you have encountered so rarely in your life, scares you beyond belief either way.
Your sister's words still roam around your mind, making you clench your fists, until you gather up all your courage. Finally, you make it out of one of the doors, out into the fresh air that greets you lovingly.
However, you have no time to linger and quickly move forward, with careful steps as not to alert anyone. As you walk, you pull a cloth out of the corset of your dress that you had previously hidden there. In one swift motion, you pull it over your head and hide your face behind the fabric, only your eyes visible now.
With these safety measures in place, you make your way to the harbour, away from the castle. The entrances for the staff are guarded, but because of your disguise they let you pass. Once you slip past them, you are immediately surprised by the number of people walking through the streets. The sun is already setting on the horizon and the warm light of lanterns illuminates the alleyways.
With a gentle smile, you watch as two children whirl around, holding dolls that they chase each other with. You follow the mass of people who probably want to celebrate the end of their day in one of the taverns. The closer you get to the center of the city, the market square, the louder and more crowded it becomes. You hear them talking, laughing with each other, arguments are being settled, some young girls dance in the middle of a crowd of people who happily watch and applaud.
Despite the positive and joyful atmosphere, you are overcome by a feeling of sadness and sorrow all of a sudden. These people are your people - and you never get to see them. They don't get to see you unless they enter the castle, and that is something only a few people are allowed to do, reserved especially for the nobles and those of higher rank. But what makes you even sadder is the fact that very few of them even care for you. You are second in line to the throne. Once your father leaves this world, Míriel will be their Queen. Accordingly, interest in you is quite low. You are not even sure they would recognize you if you took off your disguise.
The sad truth is that they wouldn't, and that hurts more than you thought. And these are the people you are supposed to give your life for.
Suddenly everything becomes too much for you. Your ears are ringing, your heart is pounding, your whole body is shaking. No matter where you look, there are crowds of people everywhere. You feel small, constricted, helpless. You are carelessly pushed to the side, shoved forward. Your feet are stepped on, no one apologizes. You try to break out of the crowd, but your head is spinning and you no longer know which direction to go. Your breathing is getting faster and louder by the second. Nobody notices, nobody shows even the slightest hint of interest in you.
When you feel your legs giving way beneath you, you are suddenly grabbed by the arm and pulled into an alley.
You are terrified when you realize that you cannot defend yourself, your body is completely frozen and does not listen to your commands. Only when you feel a gentle hand on your cheek - the cloth must have come loose in all the chaos - and look up do you let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in. Lord Halbrand is standing in front of you, his face painted in concern as he looks you up and down.
"What are you doing out here all alone, Princess?", he asks and quickly grabs a hold of your shoulder as you start to drift away again, your legs no longer able to hold you upright. Exhausted, you lean against the stone wall behind you and close your eyes. You don't like that he sees you like this. On the other hand, he just saved you and prevented you from fainting in the middle of a crowd.
"I.. don't know", you whisper in defeat and it takes all your strength to admit it.
"What were you even thinking?", he says quietly, more to himself than to you. It feels like he doesn't want to scold you, but on the other hand he also does want to.
You look into his eyes, his face bathed in warm light from the soft candlelight of the lanterns around you. The wounds that are covering his skin have slowly healed, but even in this dim light you still notice them. Only now, when staring at him, do you realize that he is distracting you from all the noise and hustle, faded into the background.
"Come. I'll escort you back to the castle", he finally offers, his hands still on your shoulders as if he doesn't dare let go of you, afraid that you'll drift into the darkness at any moment.
Once again, you don't react and only stare at him, making the worry on his face deepen. In the meantime, you just can't wrap your head around how a Southlander like him, a low man, who barely knows you and who you've met with nothing but hatred, is worried about you while the people around you, your kind, are far away from even remotely caring about you.
"Can you walk on your own?", he asks, and when you finally nod in agreement, he lets go of you. But not for long, because after he puts the cloth back in its place to cover your features one of his hands wraps around yours and holds it tightly in his grip as he pulls you behind him, up several steps that lead further away from the cheerful scene.
You are grateful that he doesn't ask any questions, doesn't want to know why you were out here in the first place.
"Thank you."
That makes him pause for a moment and his hand applies a little more pressure on yours. In response, he turns to you with a gentle smile and lowers his head in resignation.
For some inexplicable reason, your heart suddenly skips a beat. He doesn't seem to notice the change in your face, however, and walks on. Together you make your way through the winding streets and you are amazed at how well he already knows his way around. You have to admit that it also hurts. After just a few days he's already more familiar with this city than you are.
You can already see the entrance to the castle when Lord Halbrand halts in his step, forcing you to stop as well. Turning to you, he steps closer and lifts your hand. Then, he gently places his other hand on top of it.
"I don't know what you were doing out there", he starts, looking from your hand between his to your eyes. "But rest assured that I'll keep it to myself."
The relief you feel in that moment is indescribable. If your sister found out you had escaped, she would surely reinforce all safety measure to protect you. This feeling doesn't last long, however, when another emotion suddenly overshadows it once he continues speaking.
"A princess like you doesn't belong out here."
He may not notice it, but these words hurt you deeply and make your eyes burn with tears within seconds. Without hesitation, you snatch your hand from him and put some distance between you by taking a few steps back. Your knees still feel weak, but you don't let it show. Lord Halbrand's face meets yours with incomprehension as you do so.
"I know where I belong", you spit out angrily and straighten up. For a moment you actually thought there might be more hidden beneath his facade. Oh, how wrong you were.
With these last words, you leave him standing there and walk the last few meters to the castle without him. Once again, you sneak through the staff quarters into the castle. Although you don't want to admit it, the walls suddenly give you comfort, making you feel safe and protected.
You quickly blink away a few tears and return to your chambers, where you go straight to bed. Even though you are incredibly exhausted and drained, you don't sleep all night. You toss and turn in the sheets, your mind plagued by nightmares until you hear the birds outside singing.
════════════
Annoyed, you slam the door to your chambers shut behind you and lean against it with a huff. Then you slide down to the cold ground and pull your knees closer to you, hugging them against your body.
Once again you tried to talk to your sister. Once again she dismissed your words as if they were worthless.
And that's exactly how you feel right now: worthless. Born into a life that brings you nothing but suffering and pain.
Ever since you were born, you were the one who would never ascend the throne. Who would never rule. And you never wanted to. You would never want to be your sister. But right now, you wish that you were both just born into a normal family, with no wealth or power. At the end of the day, she is still your big sister, the one who has always watched over you. Your mother dead, your father long bedridden - she is the only family you have left.
You miss the times when everything was peaceful. Happy times long gone when two sisters were inseparable. But the years made you believe that this world is not made for anyone to be happy.
You lower your head and let the sadness wash over you like waves finally bringing down a ship, and tears stream down your cheeks. Your body shakes, but you hold back any sobs, crying in silence.
You don't know how long you sat there, alone with your thoughts, the very last tear leaving your eye, but eventually something catches your attention. Something that reflects the light from across the room, lying on your vanity table that wasn't there when you left in the morning. Slowly, you get up and walk over, only to discover a beautiful brooch on top of a small piece of parchment. The design is that of a sun and the brooch is decorated with white and blue diamonds. It's breathtaking to look at.
You glance at the black ink on the parchment and your heart involuntarily jumps once more. The words read: 'Forgive me'.
When you suddenly hear footsteps behind you, however, you don't have time to think about these words any further. In one quick movement, you take an ornate dagger out of one of the drawers and turn in the direction of the noises. What you don't expect, however, is that Lord Halbrand emerges from the shadows behind your bed.
"H-How did you get in here? Who let you in?", you ask, out of breath, your heart pounding. The dagger in your hand is still raised, even as he approaches you. He doesn't say anything, however, just stands in front of you and slowly grabs your hand, which is tightly gripping the weapon. He lowers your joined hands and carefully removes the dagger from your grip, leaning over you to gently place it on the table.
"I was uncertain if my apology would be deemed acceptable, hence I wanted to see you in person to make sure", his soft voice sounds in your ear and sends a shiver down your spine. He is definitely too close to you right now and even though you'd never admit it, it doesn't feel uncomfortable. You look straight into his shining eyes which are not quite blue and not quite green but something in the middle. You swallow because the intensity in his gaze leaves you speechless.
"Get off me", you manage to croak out, sounding anything but convincing. Lord Halbrand notices this too, a smirk playing around his lips.
"I know you don't mean that, Princess. And that, deep down, you have already forgiven me", he breathes in a deeper voice than before and brushes a strand of hair from your face. In an instant, you grab his wrist and stop him from touching you any further. Because you know exactly what his touch does to you. And you simply cannot and do not want to acknowledge that you like what he does.
So far, every encounter with him was exhilarating, thrilling, like you were finally embarking on a long-awaited adventure. He awakens feelings you have kept locked away for a long time, sealed behind thick iron bars. Brick by brick, he slowly destroys the protective walls you have built around your heart.
It scares you.
"Lord Halbrand", you say more seriously now and stare directly into his beautiful eyes while he does not even try to free himself from your grip. "Get out of this room or I will call the guards and have you removed."
At that threat, Lord Halbrand lets out a quiet chuckle and removes his hand from your tight grip with ease.
"Before long, I will become your husband. It's time for you to get used to my presence, my lady", he states and the fury that rises in your eyes at his words is unmistakable. "I am aware that this.. arrangement may not be something you look forward to, but I suggest that you begin to come to terms with it. I fear you have no choice but to agree."
"Don't do this", you plead, and even though you try your best to hide it, your body trembles and your eyes fill with tears. The realization that he is telling the truth makes you feel sick to your stomach. Not wanting him to see your obvious discomfort, you turn your head away, lowering it in the process.
The next moment, however, you are unexpectedly pulled forward and suddenly feel two strong, muscular arms around you. Lord Halbrand hugs you as if his life depended on it. You can't even remember the last time someone hugged you. Especially not like this.
The slight scent of sea salt and smoke greets you and you have to admit that his embrace makes you feel safe, comfortable even. With his arms pressing you against his firm body tenderly, he manages to stop your body from shaking and your head from spinning. Right now, it's just you and Lord Halbrand. No could-haves, no would-haves.
The fact that you are no longer averse to his proximity scares you an immeasurable amount. That is also the reason why, in the next second, you push him away with all your strength, your hands on his hard chest.
"Please, Lord Halbrand. I need you to leave", you almost beg him and when his hand clasps yours on his chest, you look up at him and suddenly feel seen. The way he looks at you is unlike anyone has ever looked at you before.
"Your wish is my command, Princess", he nods and lifts your hand to his mouth, where he places a feather-light kiss on the back of your hand before he walks back to the large doors to your chamber, not taking his eyes off you. You also watch him and wait for him to finally leave you.
"Leave out the Lord next time", is the last thing he says before he disappears.
As soon as you see the door slam shut behind him, however, you run over with quick steps. Only when you get there and reach for the door handle do you stop yourself. What has gotten into you? Overwhelmed by the emotions flowing through your body all at once, you lean your forehead against the door in defeat.
After staying there for a while and taking several deep breaths to calm your rapidly pounding heart, you walk over to the brooch that is still shining at you from the table. Carefully, you place the fragile thing in the palm of your hand and examine it when you suddenly hear a whistle.
Wondering where it came from, you step out onto your balcony and see a few ships leaving the bay in the distance. But your attention is quickly drawn to the person standing in the courtyard a few meters below, looking up at you. You don't have to look twice to know that it is Halbrand.
"Give us a chance", he calls up to you and even from this distance you can see the bright smile on his face. Then he turns around and disappears under one of the archways.
Holding the brooch tightly to your heart, you can't believe that a soft smile creeps onto your lips.
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"His Lordship Halbrand has requested to see you, my lady", one of the guards announces as you step out of your chambers the next morning. The mention of his name makes your heart skip a beat and you straighten up immediately.
"Then I shouldn't keep him waiting", you reply gracefully and let the guard accompany you to the place where Halbrand wants to meet you. You wouldn't have expected this to be the inner courtyard, though. And even less that he would be waiting for you there with two saddled horses.
"I hope you had a good night's sleep, my lady", Halbrand greets you with a gentle smile and notices that your steps immediately slow down when you see him with the horses. "Rest assured, Princess. I have consulted with the Queen-Regent regarding this matter. With her approval, I am permitted to accompany you on a brief ride. If that is what you wish, of course."
You pause entirely. You can't believe he convinced your sister to let you leave the castle, and with only Halbrand as your company as well. On the other hand, you've gotten a sense of how charming and persuasive he can be in the last few days.
Smiling, he holds out the reins of a white mare that is standing calmly next to him. Still a little unsure about the whole situation, you take the reins and stroke the horse gently, but don't take your eyes off Halbrand.
"H-How?", you ask him in disbelief. You can't help but think back to how often you have begged your sister to finally let you leave the castle. The fact that she is allowing this now makes you a little suspicious, but you certainly won't question her motives if it means that you can experience freedom once more, even if only for a few hours.
"We have to be back by sunset", Halbrand winks at you and comes closer, making you take a step back instinctively. When he reaches out his hand, you realize that he just wants to help you onto the mare, so you put your hand in his. Once you feel his calloused, rough yet soft hand, a pleasant feeling flows through you and when you sit upon the mare's back, you feel like you could conquer the world. He mounts his black horse as well and together you lead the horses out of the gate.
You turn around, your eyes fixed on the castle and the guards who make no move to follow you. A sense of relief flows through your body at once. Side by side, you make it out of the city and as soon as you leave the border of the capital, you are greeted by vast meadows and fields, grass gently swaying in the wind.
It doesn't take long before you get your horses galloping over the fields. Your white mare is a little faster than his horse, but you hardly even notice. You can only concentrate on the wind blowing through your hair, letting your dress float gently behind you. The air feels liberating and you are amazed at the beauty of nature, the beauty of the island you call home but have seen so little of.
A little later you reach a white sandy beach, the waves calm, seagulls squalling in the distance. The sea suddenly smells completely different from what you are used to and you can't help but smile.
If this is what freedom feels like, you won't ever go back.
Finally, you bring your horse to a stop on the shore, scratching her head, and turn to Halbrand, who stops his stallion right in front of you. Your hair is all tousled by the wind, but Halbrand smiles at you so genuinely that your cheeks flush. Without saying a word, you hop off your mare's back and bend down to bury your hands in the sand. As Halbrand dismounts, you quickly take off your shoes, lift up the fabric of your dress a little, and wade into the shallow water, which laps warmly against your skin.
You can't remember the last time you felt the ocean. As a Númenorean, you are connected to the sea on a deeper level and it feels like, right now, it's showing you how much it's missed you, like you're reuniting with an old friend. The sun is high above you, warming your skin as you close your eyes and enjoy the moment. Then you jump around the water playfully and with so much joy you haven't felt since you were a child.
Until you meet Halbrand's gaze. He is still standing where you left him, the reins of both horses in his hand, watching you enjoy yourself with so much affection in his eyes that you want nothing more than to run to him and fall into his arms, chasing the exhilarating feeling he gave you the day before.
Shyly, you slowly walk back to him through the ankle-deep water, your dress a little wet at the bottom.
"Enjoying yourself?", he asks with a smile, one hand scratching his horse behind the ears as he looks you up and down with sparkling eyes.
"Not exactly princess-like behaviour now, is it?", you shrug, eliciting a chuckle from him that gives you goosebumps and makes your heart beat faster.
"If you want my humble opinion: I think it's exactly how a princess should behave", he replies, the wrinkles around his eyes from smiling making him even more handsome in your eyes. "You shouldn't have to hide from the world."
"I wish I could come here more often", you sigh, ignoring his statement, your mood suddenly burdened by the thought that this moment of freedom will not last long and you will soon find yourself locked up inside the walls of the castle again. Halbrand's expression matches yours, but his gaze lays you bare. Feeling weak, you turn away. You stumble through the sand and finally flop onto the ground on a small dune, neatly placing your shoes next to you. Halbrand leaves the horses in your sight and joins you, sitting just a few meters next to you, your elbows touching.
For a while, neither of you says anything and you just stare out at the waves, which radiate a certain calm.
"As a child, I was very sick. An unidentified illness that was brought over from the continent. Despite having overcome it, I remained in a very weak state, requiring assistance with everything. I was not allowed to go out neither were people allowed to see me for fear of infecting me again. I was always surrounded by guards", you explain, your voice strong, but you have to pull yourself together not to sob. "Míriel was the only one who stood by my side, who made my time a little more bearable. Since our father.. has fallen sick, my sister feels even more responsible for my safety and, just like him, doesn't let me go out. She says it's for my own good and I once believed that, a long time ago. But now I doubt her concern is rooted in anything else than her own fear of losing me."
As soon as the last words leave your lips, you feel free. Free from the burden of not being able to tell anyone. But saying it out loud makes it feel so much more real. Still, pride fills you that you didn't shed a single tear. Halbrand, who was hanging on your every word, looks at you not with pity or sadness, but with a smile.
"Thank you for confiding in me. I can hardly imagine how hard that must have been for you", he tells you, speaking as if all of this is no longer your present. Maybe it's not right now, but it will be once you return.
"I have been wondering why you were locked up inside your whole life", he mutters to himself and takes a handful of sand, letting it trickle through his fingers. "And despite the prospect of freedom, you are against this marriage?"
His words hit you harder than they should, because you have to admit that you haven't given it a thought since yesterday.
"It's about her treating me like I'm a commodity that can be sold for a price", you answer, anger rising inside of you at the thought. "Either she keeps me here and risks a war or she finally lets me leave, with the ulterior motive that I at least bring some added value to Númenor. Besides, no one ever said that I would come with you once we were married."
"You think she would keep you here?", Halbrand asks, astonished. When you nod, something like determination paints his features.
"I won't allow that."
"I fear none of us will have much say in this", you sigh, exhausted and defeated, absentmindedly playing with the sand now as well. "I'm sorry you have to put up with a princess who knows nothing about this world, let alone has seen anything-"
"Don't say that", Halbrand interrupts you firmly, his eyebrows drawn together as if it physically hurts him to hear such words coming from your mouth. "You are perfect in my eyes, Princess."
You are glad he can't see the way your heart has started beating faster. What he can see, however, is the blush rising to your cheeks, which you quickly try to hide by turning your head away, pulling your knees closer to you.
"I feel like no one has ever told you how beautiful you are. In every way", he continues and you are startled when you feel his hand on your chin, gently turning your face back to him. You find it difficult to look at him, his eyes are looking at you so intensely that you no longer know which way is up and which way is down.
"Lord Halb-"
"What did I tell you about the Lord?", he chuckles, shaking his head at your cute behaviour. He loves the colour of pink your cheeks have taken on and how your eyes search his for any sign that he is lying, but you find nothing but the truth in them.
"When I told you that a princess like you doesn't belong here, I meant that a princess like you, who should be a queen, doesn't belong on this island, isolated from the world", Halbrand whispers, his hand moving from your chin to your cheek, where he gently strokes your heated skin with his thumb. "You belong in the very middle of it."
"N-No. I could never be a queen, I was not born for that", you explain, confident in your own words because it's all you have ever heard in your entire life; you would never be queen.
"I will make you a queen", he replies and the conviction with which he says this, the affection that resonates in his words and his features, makes you believe in his words. You desperately want to believe them.
"I promise I will not go without bringing you along", he assures you, holding your face in both of his hands now, his face so close to yours that you only have to lean forward a little to taste his lips. Halbrand notices this too, his gaze wanders to your lips and back to your eyes, which meet his almost pleadingly. As soon as you slightly nod, he connects your lips in a gentle but longing kiss. You gasp, never having been kissed before. Your heart feels like it will jump out of your chest at any moment, the sound of the waves blurs with your heartbeat and your hands get lost in his hair.
The kiss only lasts a few seconds, both of you having to catch your breath, but you don't want to let go of him. You have no idea what this man, this inconspicuous King of the Southlands, is doing to you, but you don't want to think about it because all you know is that you finally feel like yourself again, a feeling that seems so familiar yet unknown.
"I promise I will make you a queen and if it's the last thing I do", Halbrand tells you once more, leaning his forehead against yours before leaving a gentle kiss on the side of your mouth. Smiling up at him, you waste no time to wrap your arms around his neck and connect your lips in another kiss.
You will be his queen. And then you will finally be free.
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