vicewiccanblog

[vicewiccanblog]

If I brought this up before, forgive me.

But after that whole fiasco over on TikTok that happened months ago, I now have two more deities - Apollo and Hermes. Though for the latter I let him stay, he was just going to walk off and be all pissy about it but the moment I said 'hey come chill with us' he was SO happy.

And Athena is like 'finally you are choosing to fight back', right after the election I was considering going back into the closet but I decided 'fuck that' and now I have the 'Justice League' of Gods. (everyone except Athena laughed at my joke - she's just like 'smh ffs')

...now that I think about it, Hermes was the only one I truly chose to be one of my deities. The others were already there (just waiting for me to finally listen when they were calling for me). Hermes is the one who decided to just show up and be like 'hey baby boy I know you have other deities but mayhaps can I join??' And I was like 'yeah sure come join us'.

Good thing to come out of all this - it feels good to have so many deities work with me, it's like a full sitcom with them and I love it.

[vicewiccanblog]

Being A DemiBoy With Female Deities

I'm still coming to terms with how both Persephone and Athena work with me. Because, with my limited knowledge, I know that both despise men (or at least one of them does).

...am I the exception? Somehow???

Someone please help, my brain can't comprehend this.

[vicewiccanblog]

I might be a vampire.

I have thought about this for literal years, and I am just coming to terms with what all that means for me. And I know it sounds insane, vampires don't really exist...but I think they do. To some extent. They're just not like the movies, not at all.

I only started considering this as a legit thing lately, and talking to my deities they all but confirmed it to me. I am some type of 'vampire', a parasitic life that needs others to survive and can't really give much back to those that give to me. Because that's what vampires are, at their core. Just a parasitic life, their purpose being to drain others of their own 'life' to sustain my own.

But I only feel this way because, to be honest, I've always been like this. Living off of others, either unwillingly or by choice. And as I get older, it's leaning more into the former as my disabilities are getting worse day by day. My body is slowly failing me, my heart is weak and I don't know how many years I'll have left because I'm dealing with heart failure (CHF). So, I've basically accepted that I might be a 'vampire'.

This was just more of a vent, sorry if it doesn't make too much sense as I'm still figuring all this out myself.

[vicewiccanblog]

Thank you so much for the response <3

I'm gonna maybe try one soon, thinking of doing the Health Spell Jar first as I'm trying to get back into my doctor and therapy stuff. I'm already doing the majority of the work on my own regardless, but I do want that extra bit of help from a spell as I feel I may lack in some areas that the spell may help me in.

I'll repost this with how it goes, honestly it'll be my first spell so I'm excited and nervous (only really did 'Mind Spells' before and talk to my deity/shadow guardian for help - starting a spell outside of that will be quite the adventure for me).

...now that I think about it, I know someone who's also a Baby Witch. Maybe we can do it together, or I can make them one so they can take it back home with them as 'decoration'. I'll ask them first, see how that goes.

[vicewiccanblog]

Hello <3

I'm new too, but to be fair I've been knowing about my connection with WitchCraft since I was little (my mom and dad were both wiccans and I still have a lot of my dad's old books). Though I didn't start my practice until this year, so I still have a lot to learn.

One thing I've learned all witches have is patience. You can do ANY practice (for me its more spiritual and self-care stuff), but what matters most is your own journey through all of it. Because witchcraft requires patience, it can't just be a 'one and done' sort of thing. you have to keep working at it, even if it seems tough or you need to take a break just remember that your journey is for yourself and no one else.

Even things like stirring your drink or soup can have magic in it, so long as you have the intent for it. Magic is everywhere, you just have to find ways of using it that make sense to you.

Hope this helps <3

Hello everyone! I have finally started to look into witchcraft and was wondering if anyone had any tips for me. I’m opens to anything like where to buy things, specific things to research, books, etc.

[vicewiccanblog]

Some questions I have for this:

How would one seal the jars - and do I have to burn/smoke the ingredients at all?

Where would I even put them when they're done - do I bury them, or just use them as 'decoration' in my apartment?

Can I use multiple at once, or just one at a time?

I am very new to all this, and I want to help my situation by making a Money and/or Health Spell Jar. But I want to make sure I don't mess it up before I even begin.

[vicewiccanblog]

7 / 15 / 2024

Ok, I had something happen recently that I wanna talk about.

Ever since I've been opening myself up more to the spiritual side, I've had a few odd instances occur. Maybe it's a spirit trying to contact me, but it sure is...funny. To put it lightly.

I just normally sit by myself at my table, typing away or playing games, when suddenly an empty bottle I had on that table just suddenly launches past me like a kid had taken it and tried hitting me in the head. And every single time, it has this 'bouncy spin' to it - which I've only seem happen when someone throws a bottle. If it had simply fell, it wouldn't have felt like a rock just barely grazed past me as I feel the wind pass that same spot. But the bottle whizzes past my head, from an angle that could only be done if someone lifted it up and legit threw it with the full intent for it to hit me in the head. I even legit caught the moment one bottle was flung at me as it was right next to me on the table, before it hit one of my cats and scared them off.

I'm wondering if I should try contacting this entity, it seems to want my attention but I don't know if it'll be friendly or not. So I'm gonna try looking up spells that'll help my identify if they are good or bad, so long as I don't have to use anything that can make the cats sick or get them injured (another big reason why I never did my practice before now - I want to get into herbs but a lot of common flora/plants in my area are toxic to cats). Or maybe just find a crystal I can put somewhere to ward off any bad entities, because they flung the bottle at my poor old lady and now she avoids the bed altogether.

[vicewiccanblog]

Was searching for inspirational quotes, and I have to say this one rings true for me so much.

I never really thought of having to 'protect' my child self, the one that had to live through all the pain and still expected to be loved more than anything. The 'me' that needed a mother, a father, a caretaker...but only got grief and despair. And I never saw myself being able to just be all that for the 'me' that is still there inside me. I always just tried getting that from others, because I still saw myself as the 'me' who was unable to every cry or get mad.

But now, I am no longer that kid. I've started separating my current self from my past self, seeing that little girl who was so confused and hurting as someone I want to protect above all else. I can see that little girl looking up at me, her long hair and her overalls being the most noticeable to me in my mind (my long hair represents how others saw me as 'only a girl' while the overalls represent that innocence I used to have before it was ripped away by the cruel realities of the world). And like how I am now, she's trying to smile to seem strong.

But she doesn't need to be strong. Not anymore. She can cry, get angry, ask for attention but also want to be left alone when things are too much. She can be free, because I will be her 'mother', and her 'father'. I will be everything she needs, and we can heal together. Because that is what I needed growing up, and now I can do that for her. Because she deserves it. She doesn't deserve to have me lock her away in that cage anymore.

reminder:

[vicewiccanblog]

Now that I'm thinking about it more, my dream visions were basically the same in a way. It was always mundane moments, like me sitting in class during a test or going shopping with my mom. And when I had those 'deja vu' feelings, I actually spoke slower as the realization hit me. So I have stopped talking or switched my words in those instances, but the rest happens as I dreamt it. Just changing my words didn't cause any differences to pop up, at least in those instances. But I also stopped talking about them after awhile, because I had people looking at me (a literal child at the time) as if I had gone crazy.

I feel like, for me, these visions were things I could change when they happened. At least in some way. But without me actively doing much besides changing my words, the visions still happened as I saw them. Maybe that's why I lost the ability - I ignored the meaning behind them, just letting things continue as they were. But maybe it also evolved, allowing me to Lucid Dream rather than see visions in my dreams. So that I could have some control over things, even if it was impossible in my waking life.

I think I can be happy with that, considering I do see importance in my dreams and analyze them all the time. I just hope I don't lose this ability either, it's helped me through many hard times in my life and allows me to explore feelings/thoughts that I try to block out when I'm awake.

7 / 1 / 2024

I feel like I'd be more of a 'medium' type Witch. I wanna get into Cooking and Herb magic, but I seem to have a natural affinity for the more spiritual side of it all. Especially when I was growing up.

I remember when I was growing up, I'd have 'future vision' type dreams (don't remember the term atm) where I'd see events well into the future. And it was always accurate, I'd get 'deja vu' moments out of nowhere and sometimes I'd even stop myself from saying the same things as I had in the original dream. But I couldn't control when these 'dreams' happened, nor could I determine how far it was into the future...though, now that I think back, the visions came true normally two whole years after I have them. But I wouldn't have any more until after they happened either.

I ended up losing that ability as I reached adulthood, and I feel kinda sad about it. I was never trained to learn how to keep that ability, plus my trauma got really bad and I closed myself off for a long time to those parts of me. And now I want them back, but I don't know how to start. The only ability I gained (after opening myself up again) was Lucid Dreaming, but even that felt like a 'natural' ability to me. Like I was meant to gain it, and every time I Lucid Dream it just happens. I gain abilities in those dreams, ones that I feel represent my personal progress and show how much stronger I've become. It's really cool when it happens, I feel like my dreams always mean something even if I don't remember most of them.

I'll probably look into how I can get my old prophetic dreams back, and help myself Lucid Dream more often. But it does feel like, when I want these things to happen, they just don't. And I'm scared that I'll lose these abilities for good one day. But I'll still try, because I want to open myself more to the spiritual side and explore that myself. And I hope that my protector will help guide me through it, along with my deity who I know is watching over me and probably laughing while they enjoy seeing me work through mt struggles.

[vicewiccanblog]

.: My Deity :.

Welp, here we are. I'm going to reveal my deity to everyone. And I know that in the past, others have been supportive when I told them. But I know some may assume I am a 'faker', due to how common my deity is used by fakers. But you know what? This is my life, and my journey. So Imma be open about all of it, give myself some accountability and not shy away from the possibility of backlash.

(put under 'keep reading' because I want to build suspense hehe)

My deity is - Persephone.

Yep. That's the deity I said was with me since I was born, but only showed up when I opened myself up after years of letting my own darkness win. And I am not ashamed of it either. It truly felt like I was complete when she showed up to me, and ever since I know she's watching over me. Almost like the mother I never got growing up, and the 'femininity' I denied myself for so long due to my trauma. And she often laughs at my struggles, but it's more of a 'oh that is so cute I hope you keep on trying' kind of laugh. It doesn't feel malicious at all, just her way of encouraging me to keep on trying. She's letting me do things on my own, while being there in case I need any help. And I can talk to her whenever I want, though it's often a 'feeling' rather than simple words. And I understand her completely.

I had heard that deities appear as what we need in our journey. And truth is, I never had a real 'mother' in my life. The one I was born from didn't love me like I needed, and so I was lost in the world. My hatred and negativity reigned, my soul dark and not able to find any light. But after my mom died, I opened myself up...and Persephone appeared. She showed up in that dark void, revealing a beautiful grove with many flowers in it. And that dark re-formed, becoming my protector. It was literally 'light and dark', coming together to show me the way I needed to go. It was so beautiful, like I was finally home. And I cried, when I came back to reality. I finally felt happy.

Though, after that, I also got the presence of another deity - Athena. But it wasn't her, she just sent one of her messenger owls to make her presence known to me. It was made clear that I have the spirit of a warrior (makes sense because when I handle conflict I can be a real bitch), but my conviction is not strong enough for her to fully allow me to work under her right now. So I guess I have to find enough strength for her to accept me too, it feels nice seeing that I do have a lot of strength but just haven't reached my 'true self' yet. I still have those moments (quite often tbh) where my issues cloud my mind, making me blind to the truth and making me fall back into the dark.

I hope that I can prove myself to Athena. Persephone is just here being my 'mom', and my protector is right behind me like a shadow - forever on guard, keeping the darkness at bay as much as they can. And if I fall back into that sinking darkness, I will have them pull me out again. It's a constant struggle, but I have to believe in myself more than I ever have. Even if I fail, I can just pray to my deity for strength and have the both of them stay by my side through it all.

...and now I'm crying again. But it's a good cry. One that I need to let out.

[vicewiccanblog]

7 / 1 / 2024

I feel like I'd be more of a 'medium' type Witch. I wanna get into Cooking and Herb magic, but I seem to have a natural affinity for the more spiritual side of it all. Especially when I was growing up.

I remember when I was growing up, I'd have 'future vision' type dreams (don't remember the term atm) where I'd see events well into the future. And it was always accurate, I'd get 'deja vu' moments out of nowhere and sometimes I'd even stop myself from saying the same things as I had in the original dream. But I couldn't control when these 'dreams' happened, nor could I determine how far it was into the future...though, now that I think back, the visions came true normally two whole years after I have them. But I wouldn't have any more until after they happened either.

I ended up losing that ability as I reached adulthood, and I feel kinda sad about it. I was never trained to learn how to keep that ability, plus my trauma got really bad and I closed myself off for a long time to those parts of me. And now I want them back, but I don't know how to start. The only ability I gained (after opening myself up again) was Lucid Dreaming, but even that felt like a 'natural' ability to me. Like I was meant to gain it, and every time I Lucid Dream it just happens. I gain abilities in those dreams, ones that I feel represent my personal progress and show how much stronger I've become. It's really cool when it happens, I feel like my dreams always mean something even if I don't remember most of them.

I'll probably look into how I can get my old prophetic dreams back, and help myself Lucid Dream more often. But it does feel like, when I want these things to happen, they just don't. And I'm scared that I'll lose these abilities for good one day. But I'll still try, because I want to open myself more to the spiritual side and explore that myself. And I hope that my protector will help guide me through it, along with my deity who I know is watching over me and probably laughing while they enjoy seeing me work through mt struggles.

[vicewiccanblog]

.: Daily Vision :.

Trying to connect with myself more spiritually, here's the vision I got today.

An open sunny field, a single small yellow flower with six petals in the center. A light breeze sways the petals and stem, the sound of birds and rustling grass. I open my view more, seeing the entire field. There is only that single flower visible, the grass plentiful and there's no trees around. At the edge of the field, an empty road rests. The road calls me, but I worry about the lonely flower. I am torn between the two, going back and forth until I go and sit back with the flower. Night comes, the sound of crickets and fireflies fill the air around me. I feel sad, feeling stuck as the flower never wilts. I want it to wilt, and sometimes I think it is. But it springs back up, and I continue sitting in that spot. Sometimes I do get up and go to the edge of that road. But I don't step onto it, I want to so badly but I can hear the flower crying to me. I have to stay. And so I do. A never-ending cycle begins again.

[vicewiccanblog]

I see it as similar to gender dysphoria - if you feel euphoria from the thought/action, that is what you should focus on more than the dysphoria. Because if you don't, you'll feel that dysphoria everywhere and we may even feel negative toward that euphoria when you want to confront it again.

Having doubts that your practice is “real”?

It makes you happy, that’s real.

[vicewiccanblog]

[ UPDATE ]

Ok, I just remembered this. I do remember getting a 'reading' and 'cleansing' from someone online when I was 18, apparently I had a LOT of negative energy around me at the time and someone was trying to curse me for some reason so this person did everything for free. Never got any photos or anything of these events either, now I'm starting to think that maybe there is a connection.

Like, is the incubus feeding off my negative energy once a month...and they just wait the 30 days because they get 'full'? Because hey, that sounds kinda more useful than I supposedly have been outside of spiritual stuff. And my guardian and deity don't see the incubus as an issue right now, so unless I see actual bad connections between it and my own life I'll hold on asking for guidance from them.

I should mention, the incubus really doesn't take a form that I can remember. It is always definitely a guy (there's penetration feelings going on I know it's too much info but I gotta explain this), but it's either my first boyfriend (aged up of course) or some brown-haired guy that wears all black. Or it's Dabi or Hawks from MHA, which is honestly super nice. And again, it's never bothered me because they are gentle and talk to me sweetly.

...now that I think about it, the incubus reminds me of the picture I saw of my current boyfriend when he was around my age. Maybe it's a coincidence, but I'm not gonna lie my boyfriend is HORNY. Literally just all the time, he's bipolar and gets excited when we start talking again. Not something I am used to, but I enjoy our talks and little 'sessions' together. Just wish I could live with him, but even he's doing poorly in this economy.

I kind of hate it that when I try to look up certain questions, I just get the bible and SO many things saying 'get the holy water' like NO??

I just wanna know why I have an incubus feeding on my dreams every so often. Like, it doesn't feel 'bad'. Actually feels refreshing, makes me feel better when I wake up. And it only happens maybe once a month, it's not a constant thing.

Can someone just explain this to me, so I don't have to see posts that say 'oh demons bad grrr Jesus holy water god blah blah blah'.

[vicewiccanblog]

I agree. Because cults are all about CONTROL, not freedom.

If you see someone coming up and saying 'hey join our group you will be happy', and they are very pushy about it, just call the police. Because religious soliciting is illegal (in some places). And you have a right to not entertain their bs.

(( thankfully my mom made her own little sign saying 'no religious soliciting' and put it right on the front door long before she passed away so we haven't had it happen since I was 18 yippee ))

One advice I can give to new/young pagans today is that any religion that demands 100% of your time, energy, commitment, and devotion is a cult, pagan or not, so don't fall for that.

[vicewiccanblog]

I mean, I would never do a spell on a close loved one unless they gave me permission first.

But is there any type of money/wealth spells I can do for them? And ones that I can do with cats in the house??

[vicewiccanblog]

I kind of hate it that when I try to look up certain questions, I just get the bible and SO many things saying 'get the holy water' like NO??

I just wanna know why I have an incubus feeding on my dreams every so often. Like, it doesn't feel 'bad'. Actually feels refreshing, makes me feel better when I wake up. And it only happens maybe once a month, it's not a constant thing.

Can someone just explain this to me, so I don't have to see posts that say 'oh demons bad grrr Jesus holy water god blah blah blah'.