vulnerabilitybitesback

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1/11/22 4:14pm

i'm scared. so damned fucking scared. logically i shouldn't be, he can't hurt me. he won't yell or shout or shake me.

i'm in control, i'm in power.

i'm doing this for myself. i've lived like a hermit for two years because im so scared to leave my house and see him.

i'm in control, i'm empowered. what's the worst that could happen

i'm stubborn and hurt, which feels like a lethal dose. i'll get over it I swear. i just need to let this out once more.

this is how i heal, this is how i move on. i'm doing this for myself. i'm in control, i'm in power.

what he says or does no longer controls me or stakes through me with fear.

i am in control, i am empowered. i am doing this for me. i am doing this to move on and heal. the forgiveness is mine, to give and take reprieve. i am doing this for my peace of mind

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1/10/22 1:51am

Sometimes I scare myself

I am a genius i am a fucking genius. monuments should be mounted in my memotium

"here lies some silly little girl who knew too much too fast and thought she could save the world with her little stories"

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*Trigger Warning* 1/10/22 1:48am

*self harm*

I am a writer at heart.

not of poetry, script, or novel

just these stupid little things i tell myself before i go to bed.

sometimes all i can do it pick up a pencil and unwillingly put it down. sometimes i can't even look at paper because i know its waiting for its perfect moment to cut me, deeper than i cut myself.

good night good night good night

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1/10/22 1:43 am

You think I don't know what you see when they look at me. It's taken me a long time but I know.

It's taken me even longer not to care, but what i don't know is what people see when they see me, really see me.

do they see through me? do they see my fears and loathes? do they see my hypocracy?

what i want them to see, they never will. no one will ever see the me i do. they see and hear what they want about me, but never really me.

it's not that i expect people to get me, strangers or friends; it's just on occasion i have hopes someone will see me and save me

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1/10/22 1:38am

I am a wounded snake

i recoil and shake

when someone looks too close

when they ask what are you doing, what are you reading, what do you like, who do you want to be

i don't want anyone to know anything about me, ever, and yet i'm so lonely.

alone i lick my wounds, try not to let my own venom bite back at me.

i was once open and caring, but bit by bit i shielded myself. i think you're out to make fun of me, i think you're out to get me; see that i'm a fraud and know nothing. i'm all talk and pretentiousness, with no fangs to show for it, but scars i have plenty.

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12/4/21 11:06 am

If friends is all we can be, i'll take it.

i'll take it and run with it.

i'll be the shoulder you can cry on, the heart you can confide in

the eyes that see you, really see you.

i'll hear your call from worlds away.

i'll be your friend

no more, no less

but i'll be your best friend, as long as you'll have me

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i'm obsessed with hamlet. serial procrastinator, famous yapper, who monologues any time anything goes even mildly wrong. he gets POISON STABBED, and instead of dropping dead like his mother, his uncle, and his opponent, he MONOLOGUES ABOUT IT. HE PROCRASTINATES DYING TO MONOLOGUE ABOUT IT. there's just something so beautiful about him clinging to life to deliver one last baller speech

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Japanese mother of pearl fantail dove, 1880

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it goes without saying that i am hopelessly thankful for transsexuals

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raise your frequency. speak love, think love, give love.

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People who perform manual labor should be not only given high and liveable wages, but unlimited access to healthcare and physical therapy to help manage the myriad conditions that come from doing back-breaking work.

Like this is not an absurd concept. It bothers me that people think that it is.

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It was. Mmhm miss those days

being a teenage girl between 2010 and 2015 must have been the shit. lana del rey dropped born to tie and ultraviolence. the arctic monkeys dropped am. justin bieber. one direction. u had tumblr and weheartit. u post a black and white pic of a cigarette and u get like 20k notes. pretty little liars, vampire diaries and glee were all on tv. twilight was still really popular. all around it must have been fun

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agnostic is lowkey the funniest belief system it's just like yeah idk it's none of my business