wehavefreedomofspeech

[wehavefreedomofspeech]

Baby Boy [p.p.]

Summary: He was her baby boy, and she let him go.

Pairing: None

Word Count: 351

Warnings: angst

A/N: because 1) this has been sitting in my drive forever and it’s not good enough for anything 2) i’ve been pretty inactive lately on everything and 3) look guys i really just need some inspiration, requests, hate mail, anything i mean really. 

Go to @callyourlawyers for actual work :) callyourMasterlist

“I’m sorry.” It repeated like a mantra in her head. “I’m so, so sorry.” There was nothing she could do. It was done, and he was gone. Forever.

Ben would be so disappointed in her.

“I let our baby boy go.” And yes, maybe it wasn’t her baby boy, but it was. Peter was hers, hers to care for, to watch, to protect. And she’d failed.

May knelt down on the grass. The morning air chilled her to the bone, but what did it matter? Her boy was gone.

Around her, the ground was littered with other survivors. They were all mourning, all broken. Her trio had been ripped apart. First, the love of her life, her soulmate, Ben Parker. And then, her nephew- her son. Peter.

He was gone, in the wind. And he wasn’t coming back.

“I let him die.” She was sobbing. What would Ben say, if he was here? If he could say all the things he was thinking out loud, to her face. He would tell her how disappointed he was in her. How he hated her for letting their son die. And she would take it because she deserved it. She let their baby boy go.

“Be safe!” She remembered telling him. “Don’t get into any trouble!” How could she support that? How could she have just let her child run off every night, and put himself in front of madmen and psychopaths?

She encouraged her baby to get himself killed, and then she’d let him just walk out the door. She didn’t even get to say ‘Love you’. How could she have known that she would never see him again? That that would be the last day she ever had him in her life?

Peter Parker, beloved son, nephew, and friend. And that was it. That was what was left her of her child. Just a small cement plaque with his name on it. But he was so much more than that, words couldn’t capture it if they tried.

May sat, sobbing on the ground. He was gone, and it was all her fault.

[wehavefreedomofspeech]

Upon A Star [p.p]

Summary: Forever : an indefinite length of time.

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader (past) but also, it does not name specifics.

Word Count: 381

Warnings: angst

A/N: I realized that if I was given the chance to start my life over, I would take it. Also, I just saw infinity war like three days ago, and I’m heartbroken. 

Go to @callyourlawyers for actual work :) callyourMasterlist

I wish I never fired the arrow.

I wish I never picked up the knife.

I wish I never loaded the gun.

I wish I never found out about the guy in the alley next to my house. I wish that I had been able to sleep that night. I wish I hadn’t thought that going on a midnight walk would ease my tension.

I wish I didn’t see any of what I saw. I wish I didn’t hear any of what I heard. I wish I didn’t do any of what I did.

If I could go back in time and change it all, I would. I would make myself a glass of milk and try to fall asleep again. I would turn left at the corner instead of right, in hopes that the tall building would drown out the sound of his screams.

I would give up everything I have, everything I have had, if I could just go back. 

Go back to being the innocent little girl who didn’t know the first thing about blood clots. Go back to being the naive child who threw a punch with the thumb within her fist. Go back to being the clueless student who would never have to feel the pain of a broken bone, much less a broken heart.

I wish I could go back the night when he first said ‘forever’. I wish I could tell myself that it was a lie.

I wish that I could go back to the night when I first met him. I wish I could make myself forget him.

I wish so badly that he was still here. I wish he had never felt the pain of loss. I wish he had never felt the burden of responsibility. I wish he had never chosen to take up the mantle.

I wish I told him to stop. I wish I took the suit from him. I wish I hid the chemicals. I wish I had made it impossible for him to ever fight.

I don’t care if it broke his heart. I don’t care if it broke him. 

I wish I had done it. 

Because then, maybe, he would still be here.

Because then, maybe, it wouldn’t be my fault that he was gone.

[wehavefreedomofspeech]

Forget

Summary: And then Thanos snapped. 

Pairing: Pretty much anyone but it does use male pronouns.

Word Count: 367

Warnings: angst

A/N: just something that came to me that was too short to be called an imagine. I might use it in a full sized work sometime, who knows?

Go to @callyourlawyers for actual work :) callyourMasterlist

Everybody says that you should never forget. Because that’s not what they would want; because how would it feel if, when you were gone, no one even remembered who you were?

You tried, you really did. You tried to think about the good times, tried to embrace the bad.

But what was the point? Living, hanging on to something that would never happen again. Torturing yourself with images of faint smiles and kind words. He would never smile again. He would never laugh or cry or talk again, so what was the point of hanging on to the past? It was like hanging off a cliff by the blade of a knife.

So you decided that ‘everybody’ was wrong. Remembering was painful.

Everybody says that time will heal all wounds. What were they thinking? ‘Oh, maybe in five years, she won’t love him anymore.’ ‘Maybe she’ll move on.’

Did they know how love worked? Did they know that you stayed up every night, an all too familiar aching in your chest? Day after day, painful memories picked at your mind, trying to force themselves in.

Who knew everything you’d ever loved could disappear, just like that? With a mere snap of the fingers. It left a mile wide hole in your heart, an ocean deep gash.

If time was really a healer, then why was it that no matter how much time passed, your wounds stayed as tender as the day it happened?

But you gave it time anyways. You watched the days pass by like a movie; you waited your life away.  

And you decided, ‘everybody’ was wrong.

You never forgot. And time went on. Maybe it decided you were a lost cause. Memories played on constant repeat in your mind. The same two years. The best two years of your life.

Everybody says that all good things must come to an end. That, you believed. But maybe, you thought sometimes, in the middle of the night, maybe it didn’t have to end so soon.

Each thought brought a new wave of tears. Each memory came with a city of heartbreak.

And you decided you didn’t want to remember anymore because remembering meant it was over.

[wehavefreedomofspeech]

My Testimony

Alrighty everyone, 

I didn’t want to clutter my main blog because I feel like it would bother me, so I created this side blog to talk about me...

It’ll be pretty much anything, update schedules, moments of immaturity, pleads for other people to communicate with me, etcetera.  

Probably gonna end up being mainly short snippets though because... well, just because. 

Follow if you want to get to know me! Or if you just like my work, which is rare.  And if you don’t agree with either of those and you just want to read my mediocre paragraphs of inspiration, that’s chill too. 

Laters! Or now, if that’s whats up.